LOOSE LIPS "W
hat a drag!" was our entry for this month's Caption Contest(!). Yours were much better, with fishing and waterskiing quips dominating the droves of entries we received. "Hit it!" was (brilliantly) suggested so many times that we turned it into a drinking game. Thanks everyone! And thanks for playing. Aaaaannnnnd the winner is:
Available for immediate occupancy. The City of Monterey's East Moorings are available seasonally, from April 1 to October 31. This is a great opportunity to have a boat in Monterey Bay and enjoy some of the best sailing and boating on California's central coast. East Mooring participants receive a discounted berth rate in our marina from November through March. Mooring gear (except for safety line) and dinghy storage are included free of charge.
For more information, call Brian Nelson, East Mooring Manager, at (831) 242-8727 or see http://monterey.org/enus/departments/harbormarina/ mooringsopenanchorage.aspx
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Protest! Wrong crew recovered! — Christopher Mendonca
"Always take a wrap around the dock cleat before you try to pull the boat to the dock!" — Allyn Schafer " How do I unhook this thing without hurting it?" — John Dahl "OK, I promise I will never cook fish in the microwave again." — Steve Banbury "Sailing with mother-in-law!" — Romeo Dretcanu "Wanted: New crew member for recently vacated 'Emergency Tiller Position'. Must be tall, thin and be able to navigate through all sea states. Bonus for having gills." — Jake Goza "Remember to always stay clear of the ladder, boss." — David Elmore "The only time we go back for a hat is when there's a head in it." — Richard Whiting "What's this line dragging in the water? I'll just untie it. There, we're pickin' up speed now." — Doug Purdy "If you can’t get the spinny up faster we’ll keelhaul you again." — Al Burdulis "All set, shake the reef and let'er rip; one ski, no problem." — Douglas J. White
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CL # 835169 Page 56 •
• March, 2018
few weeks ago on Facebook, we asked you to share some of your favorite sailing jokes. What we got was an absolute treasure trove that we're going to tap from time to time, starting with this one from Albert JK III: A pair of novice sailors' best mate died, and in his will, he specified that he wanted them to bury him at sea. So the pair set out from shore in a rowboat with the body. They had rowed out a little way when one man got out of the boat and stood knee-deep in water. "We need to go out farther," he told the other man. So they rowed out another 50 yards, and the same sailor jumped out again to find the water reached his chin. "We need to go out farther," he said again. About 150 yards from shore, he jumped out of the rowboat again and disappeared under water. After five minutes, he reappeared coughing and spluttering, and said to the other: "That's far enough. Hand me the shovel."
The March 2018 issue of the West's premier sailing and marine magazine.