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001_LS588_cover_editorial cover 27/07/2012 16:54 Page 1

the city & news magazine for brighton & hove

Latest TV ★ jobs ★ food ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★

You’ve seen us online, now watch some of our best shows on a 100 sq ft screen! Brighton’s Big Screen event runs until 12 August.

31 July – 6 August 2012


e v a w Your monthly

lthy guide to he1a7 living p

READY, SET, GO! Summer sport activities for all ages KEN DODD The comedian on keeping us laughing for over 50 years BRIGHTON & HOVE FOODIE AWARDS Cast your vote now!

It’s a man thing Men of all ages join together to raise funds with the Martlets Noon Walk page 11

002_LS5888_Wired Sussex_Layout 1 27/07/2012 13:03 Page 1

ECOM - Email Designer – The Body Shop International PLC (Littlehampton) Senior Magento Developer – GSB Associates (Brighton and Hove) Account Executive – WPM Education (Burgess Hill) Marketing & Communications Officer – City College (Brighton And Hove) Ruby Development Partner (job + equity) – IRIS Connect (Brighton and Hove) Generalist / Game Programmer – West Pier Studio (Brighton and Hove) Paid Search Consultant – Propellernet (Brighton and Hove) PHP/ Web/ App Developer – 3rd Eye Vision Ltd (Brighton and Hove) (Brighton & Sussex

JavaScript & UI Developer – Stanton Consultancy Limited Innovation Centre)

Drupal Developer – to work on a multilingual cultural portal for a well respected organisation Web Designer – to design a large fashion website Project managers – to work on wide range of digital projects

Brighton Farm – Wednesday 1 August, 8pm at Hampton Arms Drupal Brighton Meetup – Monday 6 August, 7.00pm at The Skiff Wired Sussex Brighton Members’ Meetup – Tuesday 21 August, 5.30pm at Above Audio

003_LS588_contents_Contents 27/07/2012 16:53 Page 1


CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

NEWS & COMMENT 04 Latest People Bolney Wine Estate café and tasting room launch; Eco Festival and Ian McEwan at Sussex University 06 Latest Brighton & Hove News & Jobs Steve Ovett gets a new statue; The Amex Stadium gets an extention; plus meet Brighton’s Jamie Oliver 12 Snap Shots Carla Ballantine, of local fashion label Sugar Jones 12 Competitions Win tickets to Krater Comedy Club, CDs and DVDs 13 Celeb City Richard E Grant, BHAFC, Keith from The Office, 14 Bare Cheek Choose your own service cuts and Hove, Factually 14 Mad Matt Matt goes back to the future 15 City Speak Ruby plans her book launch; Tasha tells the truth

L7 INTERVIEW 16 Ken Dodd talks about his love of laughter ahead of The Ken Dodd Happiness Show

31 JULY–6 AUGUST 2012


>on tv

Summer in the city couldn’t be more enjoyable right now. We have fantastic events including the latest addition to the seaside landscape: Brighton’s Big Screen. For news, reviews and listings of everything that’s happening in Brighton log on now to Holding an event? Email and tell the world.

21 All the latest homes are on

LIFESTYLE 11 On the cover: the Martlets Hospice Get involved in raising money for the Martlets with the Noon Walk for men and boys


17 wave Summer sport activities for all ages to enjoy; essential beauty buys for your holiday; nutrition advice from CNM 24 Hotlist; Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Get voting in the Brighton & Hove Foodie Awards!

WHAT’S ON 26 Reviews & Bookings; Brighton Download Chart Volcano reviewed; Tenacious D are coming to town! 28 Latest Previews Christopher Biggins, Brighton Skate Party and Ted 32 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Horoscopes for the week; Vexed; seven-day TV guide

Cover image courtesy of National Trust © Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless


Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

The Vote episode 4 Brighton and Hove will soon have its own terrestrial TV channel which you’ll be able to watch on your TV in your living room and on your laptop or on your mobile. That’s modern democracy. And of course localism, especially news and democracy and political debate will be a big part of Brighton’s new channel. Question Time on BBC 1 has proved that political TV need not be boring and we believe The Vote Show on amplifies this. And how could The Vote be boring? New leader of Brighton and Hove Council, The Green Party’s Cllr Jason Kitcat has been having a well publicised Twitter feud with Labour’s Chief Whip in The House Of Lords Lord Steve Bassam. For the first time they debate in person and it’s riveting TV. As if that’s not enough they are joined by one of the greatest debaters in The Conservative Party Cllr Mary Mears and I don’t just mean in Brighton. Bill Randall talks about his year in office as first Green council leader while The Treason Show’s Mark Brailsford looks back at the year that was for The Greens. Frank le Duc does the Dimbleby bit and I know I’m biased but I’m hooked! – Bill Smith, MD, Latest TV If you want to be part of Brighton’s TV channel come to our open democratic meetings at Latest MusicBar every Monday at 5.30pm.

Latest TV on the Big Screen Latest TV has been running online for a few years and now you have the chance to see some of our best shows on a 100sq ft screen! We always said Val Aviv is larger than life! See us at Brighton’s Big Screen (runs until 12 August on Brighton beach next to the West Pier) alongside other great programmes including the Olympics and films such as The Hunger Games.

With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website For details of advertising opportunities with please contact Lynne Edwards tel: 01273 818150

Watch our shows at Art Director Stephen King Entertainment Editor & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Editor Zara Baker Editorial Assistant Laura Burgess Sub Editors Louise Bevan Chris Dyer Rachel Junior

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Anand Day Andrew Wright Photography Dan Childs Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

Illustrators Paul Lewis Jake McDonald Work experience Holly Cozens

01273 818150 Editorial: Advertising:

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

SUMMER OF SPORT Get in the sporting spirit with our guide to the best summer sport activities – right on your doorstep! Starts page 21

004_005_LS588_latest people_Social Diary 27/07/2012 15:56 Page 2




Bolney Wine Estate; Ian McEwan at the University Of Sussex, Magpie Recycling’s Eco Festival & more


Bolney Wine Estate café & tasting room launch & ey

To add to their popular tours, Bolney Wine estate launched their new café and wine tasting room on 19 July. The estate, which won a ‘Gold Outstanding Medal’ at the prestigious International Wine and Spirits Competition this year, is a family run business. Sam Linter is managing director and the daughter of the the vineyard’s founder, Rodney Pratt. Words & photos: Diana Frangi

Laura Kingdon (Tours & Events), Charlotte Linter (Tours & Events), Phoebe Cooper (Front of House)

Gold medals for Sussex alumni Booker Prize winning novelist Ian McEwan, former President of Botswana Festus Mogae, Turner Prize-winning artist and the UK’s 2013 representative at the Venice Biennale, Jeremy Deller are all alumni of Sussex, and were

Mayor of Haywards Heath, John Sabin

Emily Hutchins, Rodney Pratt (Founder of Bolney Wine Estate), Mrs Peta Pratt

Anna Carey (PR) , Sam Linter (Managing Director of Bolney Wine Estate)

Nicola Young (Personal Assistant), Stuart Barford (Sales Manager)

Lucy Britner (Drinks International), Zara Baker (Editor, Latest 7), Natasha Prochaski (Advertising Manager, Latest 7)

presented with special 50th anniversary Gold Medals, marking the extraordinary achievement of individuals connected with the University of Sussex. The medals were presented at a ceremony at Brighton Pavilion on Tuesday 17 July, on the eve of the University’s threeday summer graduation. Photos: Stuart Robinson

Left: Booker Prize winning novelist Ian McEwan, Lady Briggs (receiving a Gold Medal on behalf of her husband, the eminent historian, Bletchley Park Enigma Codebreaker and founding father of the University of Sussex, Lord Asa Briggs, former President of Botswana Festus Mogae and Turner Prize-winning artist and the UK’s 2013 representative at the Venice Biennale, Jeremy Deller.xx

Above: Booker Prize winning novelist Ian McEwan, former President of Botswana Festus Mogae, Turner Prize-winning artist Jeremy Deller.

Mini Grand Prix TR Fastenings, a leading global manufacturer and distributor of industrial fastenings, played host to the Uckfield Mini Grand Prix 2012 in the car park of its head offices on Sunday 15 July. Blessed by good weather, hundreds of supporters turned out to watch the Mini Grand Prix teams from 20 local primary schools race around TR Fastenings’ car park which had been transformed into a mini racing track. Nutley Primary School was the overall winner of the day. Photos: courtesy of Aneela Rose PR

Mini Grand Prix 2012 at TR Fastenings, Uckfield

Nutley School, the winning team at the Mini Grand Prix 2012 held at TR Fastenings, Uckfield

004_005_LS588_latest people_Social Diary 27/07/2012 15:36 Page 3


Eco Festival celebrating 20 years of Magpie Magpie Recycling Cooperative has been operating for 20 years and held an Eco Festival on Saturday 14 July to celebrate. Great bands included Chicken Shed Zeplin, Thee Orphans, Triple Chicken Combo, Mauve and Lucy and The Scamps; workshops included circus skills, how to build a vertical garden using a pallet, sociocratic working, woodland skills, pond dipping and something special from Feral Theatre. Photos courtesy of Magpie Recycling

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latest brighton & hove news In brief ■ TWO BRIGHTON STREETS GIVEN BOOST WITH £130K INJECTION OF CASH Improvements are promised for two Brighton streets – London Road and Preston Street. A joint bid by the London Road Local Action Team, traders, City College, the Chamber of Commerce, the Federation of Small Businesses and the council has been rewarded with £83,000. The road is to become a Portas Pilot – named after retail guru Mary Portas – and was one of just 15 to be chosen for regeneration funding out of more than 400 applications. The London Road bid’s organisers said that the money would help tackle issues including empty shops, low wages and antisocial behaviour. Among the early ideas for London Road are finding creative ways to fill empty shops such as an indoor market for new entrepreneurs and students to test their business plans and products. A subsidised security radio scheme could link shops to help them tackle shoplifting and anti-social behaviour. And training for retail staff could be made available, covering window dressing, shop displays or negotiating rent reviews. In Preston Street work started last week to try to improve the road’s appearance and pedestrian links. The changes to the southern and northern ends of the street have been costed at £50,000. The council said that street lighting would be improved and the area would be decluttered and made more accessible for pedestrians.


Catering well Experts say Julie Barker is up there with Jamie Oliver and has all the ingredients to feed thousands of ideas. Frank le Duc reports


■ VETS SPONSOR YOUNG FOOTBALLERS FOR THE FORTHCOMING SEASON Grove Lodge Vets are the new shirt sponsors for Shoreham FC Under-8s. The Sussex-based veterinary group said that most children love animals or even look after their own pets so it made sense for the vets to want to support their local youngsters. The independent veterinary group said that the deal for the coming season was to sponsor the Mussels’ Under-8s, who plays home games at the 120-year-old club’s Middle Road ground. It is the first time they have had a shirt sponsor. Marc Abraham, a vet at Grove Lodge’s Southwick clinic and author of the children’s book Pets in Need, said: “We’re incredibly proud to be supporting our local community and sponsoring Shoreham FC’s Under-8s. Most local families own a pet, and educating pet owners is essential, so it’s an obvious and fun partnership.”

■ BLUE PETER GARDENER VISITS PUPILS TO HAND OUT ‘IN BLOOM’ AWARD Chris Collins, the Blue Peter gardener, visited Ferring Church of England School before term ended to see what the children had been growing and to hand out awards. He presented them with their South and South East In Bloom award after they excelled in the Blooming Schools category sponsored by Southern Water. The children showed the TV presenter around the school grounds where he saw their vegetable patch. The school’s gardening club grows mainly vegetables, including tomatoes, pumpkins, chillies and potatoes, which they harvest and cook.

he catering boss at Brighton University is one She said: “The issue around nutrition and good of the country’s 100 most influential women in quality food is the priority. There’s a perception that hospitality, leisure, travel and tourism. Experts it’s eggs, chips and beans but we’re much better in her sector put Julie Barker up there with Delia than that. It’s about the ingredients – getting that Smith, Prue Leith and Nigella Lawson. Among the right. Giving people the information and comfort other influential women on the list is Jill McDonald, about what we produce is very important to us.” the former Brighton University student who is now Mrs Barker is conscious about value for money chief executive of McDonald’s in the UK. as student fees go up. “We work in an environment As well as the top 100 list [higher education] where put together by People 1st, people didn’t always see the sector skills council, Mrs students as customers but Barker was named with Jamie “There’s a perception we do. Catering has gone Oliver as one of the top 20 from being a poor relation most influential people in the as a sector, although that it’s eggs, chips world of public sector Brighton has long seen catering. Cost Sector Catering, and beans but we’re the benefit of good inthe food service industry hospitality.” much better than that” house magazine, described her as After years of toiling an “inspirational character”. away in relative Mrs Barker, 46, started her anonymity, she has professional life in the enjoyed being ranked with kitchen, training as a chef with the NHS. She had the likes of Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson. She stints in the private sector before joining Brighton said: “All of a sudden things are starting to happen. University 21 years ago. She is now head of I’ve been getting recognition which is quite nice. The residential and catering services. As a result she biggest thrill was the Women’s Top 100 Club. It’s oversees student accommodation, catering, bars, across the public and private sector. There were kitchens, conference facilities and community some major industry players in there. It was nice to liaison in Brighton, Eastbourne and Hastings. be recognised.” As if that wasn’t enough, the mother of two is She was impressed by Jamie Oliver’s School also the managing director of TUCO – The University Dinners – the TV programme and campaign. She Caterers Organisation – a trade body for her sector. said: “There were a few spin-offs that came from It works with the government and training that series but the new academies fall outside the organisations and buys in bulk to try to ensure the national nutritional standards for school meals best use of public funds. She said: “We probably which is unfortunate. It’s going to be very easy to turn over about £100 million on procurement.” introduce junk food back into schools.” The work with TUCO is voluntary and on top of the Mrs Barker said that she shares the cooking at day job. Mrs Barker got involved with the home with her husband Brian – her unsung hero – organisation about ten years ago and said: “It’s the but you won’t find her at work in her old chef’s kind of thing you put your hand up for and get whites. She said that the technology had changed carried along with it.” She recently returned from a enormously since she trained and laughed as she conference in America with university caterers confessed: “The last time I was in the kitchen was there, taking in a visit to Harvard and said: “It was at a charity do – and I couldn’t work out how to interesting to see how different and how much the switch the oven on!” She has all the right same they are to us.” ingredients though to ensure the right people But despite the accolades and the occasional around her have the recipe to keep catering well for conferences, her focus is very much on the basics. Brighton’s thousands of hungry students. ■

007_LS588_newsphilmills_marina_editorial 27/07/2012 16:58 Page 3


latest brighton & hove news

7 days of headlines with phil mills Bull terriers on the rampage, Steve Ovett gets freedom of the city, and Amex redevelopment


oppy fields and crowded beaches heralded the return of fine weather at long last but behind the sunny smiles were some sinister goings on. A 28-year-old Londoner was arrested on suspicion of murder after a body was found in a flat in Kemp Town, Brighton. The victim, 63-yearold Michael Polding of St George's Road, was discovered two months after detectives believe he was murdered. Detective Inspector Jon Fanner said: “He suffered a number of injuries and we have launched a homicide investigation.” Anyone with information should call 101. A hit and run driver may have ramraided a shop in Portslade just after he left a woman fighting for her life. A VW Passat used in the shop raid is believed to have knocked down Michelle Greest, 29, from Portslade, 15 minutes earlier in Kings Road, near the junction with West Street, Brighton. She was recovering at Hurstwood Park neurological hospital in Haywards Heath. A man has been charged

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Jason Kitcat on a Brighton Olympian


ast week the council made Steve Ovett an honorary freeman of the city. Born right here in Brighton, Steve excelled at football, but instead chose to focus on athletics – a decision that led to a brilliant career in middle distance running. Medals and world records followed, including Gold at the European Championships, the 1980 Olympics and the Commonwealth Games. His achievements, rivalries and prowess made him one of the

with eight counts of owning a dog dangerously out of control in a public place after six people were injured. Two bull terrier dogs went on the rampage in Hastings. All the victims needed hospital treatment, three were seriously hurt. Police are seeking a destruction order for the dogs. And a fraudster was ordered by Lewes Crown Court to pay back £56,000 housing and council tax benefit to Brighton & Hove City Council, under the Proceeds of Crime Act. Julian Seamer of Church Road, used the money to buy a five bedroom house. He was given a suspended prison sentence in 2010 after admitting making false statements in relation to housing benefit. On to happier news and Steve Ovett’s freedom of the city honour from Brighton and Hove: as the Olympic gold medalist saw his new statue unveiled on Brighton seafront, the University of Brighton announced it was seeking members of the public who have photographs of the original statue which was stolen from Preston Park in 2007. The university is creating a digital replica of the first statue using groundbreaking 3D technology and a gallery of photos to record the design for posterity. Members of the public will be able to see first-hand how the university digitally records artefacts at a major exhibition taking place from this week until Saturday 25 August. The remains of the

most newsworthy sports stars of the era and his continued work as an ambassador for sport shine a light on his birth place that illuminates us to this day. Seven months ago local sculptor Peter Webster was approached by businessmen who were keen to see a replacement for the statue of Steve that used to stand in Preston Park. They received school visits from Steve during the height of his career, and like many others, were inspired to go on and achieve their ambitions – sporting or otherwise. Peter was the creator of the original statue, and though many of his materials and moulds are now lost, he based the new plans on

original Ovett statue – including his leg, as shown by graphic design graduate Nadine Shaban – will also be on show. Anyone with photographs of Steve Ovett’s originally statue should send them to and put “Steve Ovett photograph” in the subject box. Meanwhile, the city’s other university, Sussex, has been granted permission for two new modern accommodation blocks to be built at the Falmer site, providing bedrooms for 148 students. Staying with development, Brighton & Hove Albion have brought forward their final expansion plan for the American Express Community Stadium and they could end up with 30,000 fans watching games by the close of the new season. An extra 2,200 seats at the stadium’s north end, originally planned for installation for the 2013 season will now be brought in next spring. Friends of St Ann’s Well Park opened a new play area which includes a maze and new children’s play equipment to provide, “hours of healthy, free fun”. Work has been completed on a new skatepark for local young people, in Bexhill Road playground, Woodingdean. And Cllr Sue Shanks joined head teacher, Michele Lawrie, other teachers and children to celebrate news that St Peter’s Community Infant and Nursery in Portslade is to be expanded to add a junior school – children pictured will be the first intake when it opens in September 2013. Lastly, council planning chiefs have been showing their teeth – they have ordered the owner of The New Madeira Hotel in Marine Parade, Brighton, to remove, “an inappropriate timber decked seating area,” erected without permission in front of his hotel. Do you have photos of the original statue?

some of his original drawings. After many months of hard work by mostly local engineers, a wonderful new statue of Steve now stands on the seafront near the Brighton Marathon finish line. Steve’s achievements are a part of a rich sporting history here in the city. We also host an enormously successful football team and cricket club of course. It’s not always easy, but as a council we continue to work on improving the quality of sports and physical activities in the city, despite financial difficulties. Successful events like the recent fortnight long TAKEPART Festival, a city-wide annual sports celebration, show how willing people are to get involved and try new things.


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latest brighton & hove news

the bigissue

The makings of a recovery As the government shuts 27 Remploy factories Frank le Duc finds a contrasting picture in Hove


ess than three weeks from now 27 Remploy factories employing disabled people will start closing around the country with the loss of 1,400 jobs. Last Thursday many of those staff took part in a second strike. They are unhappy about the loss of their jobs and the terms of their redundancy. The government said that the factories were loss-making and unaffordable at a time of austerity. Nine other factories look like being sold and have viable business plans. No-one is pretending that it will be easy for those disabled staff to find new jobs. There are concerns that most will end up on benefits paid by a different arm of the state. There is a factory in Hove which, like Remploy, employs disabled people and had the threat of closure hanging over it for a long time. The old Castleham factory has been providing supported employment for nearly 25 years at the Knoll Business Centre in Old Shoreham Road. It too made a loss, meaning that the council had to subsidise it or close it down. Last September the council appointed Jeff White as business development manager. He was given a tough brief: find a way forward within three months or close the operation. Mr White, 58,

has worked in business development for Cable and Wireless and other big corporations. He has run his own business and worked as a coach and mentor. But this small factory close to Hove Cemetery has become something of a mission. He said: “I was given three months to come up with a viable business plan. We put together three business plans – and eventually one got accepted. There was a lot of older equipment and a lot of people not doing any work. The bottom line was if we want this to work then we’re going to have to invest. It’s expensive, we’ve had to make big investments in equipment that’s going to make us money. That’s one of the things that’s helped change things.

ABLE AND WILLING “Since April we’ve been trading as ableandwilling. Our turnover has to increase and so does our profit. Before, all we had to do was keep people busy. Over the past three months we’ve been on track but our targets are really aggressive. Our skills are embroidery, a whole series of printing, and assembly and packaging. We’ve won work – in the past three months we’ve done a whole

series of embroidery work for about 30 cricket clubs. We won that work because we can turn it around at the price and the speed they want. “We’re a supported employer. We have a target of employing people with disabilities so they make up 50 per cent of our people. On the shop floor it’s 100 per cent. With us included [the senior management] it’s 90 per cent – that’s amazing. Working in this crappy little cabin on the Knoll Estate is the best job I’ve ever had. I work with such fantastic people. We’ve tried very hard to make it a fun place to work. In these times of difficulty for Remploy, we’re a great model of how you can do things.” Mr White said that Able and Willing had enjoyed support from the departing council chief executive John Barradell. He said that Mr Barradell had been challenging and tough about producing a rigorous business case but a source of practical help and advice. And he said that former council leader Bill Randall, currently serving as mayor, had also been another great supporter. Councillor Randall was great at spreading the word. He said that both had lent their networking skills as the factory went in search of new orders. And new leader Jason Kitcat, formerly in charge of the council finances, had proved supportive too. Amid a roll call of local backers were the likes of Albion in the Community, Legal and General, the Martlets Hospice and Mears, the council’s housing contractor. After a visit nearly three years ago, Mary Mears, a former leader of the council, said: “I was extremely impressed with the work that they are doing and am delighted that the council is able to support the enterprise. Helping those with disabilities into employment is one of those unsung council functions which rarely hits the headlines but which provides an incredibly valuable service for some of our most vulnerable residents.”

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Political backing is one thing. But given the financial climate Mr White and his team are under pressure to provide not just supported employment but to do so profitably. So as well as new equipment, Mr White has brought in new work practices and trained staff in new skills. He has also brought three new staff on board – the first in ten years. They are on six-month contracts and will be using their time to develop their skills and build their confidence as they look for work elsewhere in the local economy. Changing work practices are the sort of issue that often spurs union involvement – and the GMB locally has taken an interest in the factory. Its conclusion can be a source of some satisfaction.

A SHINING EXAMPLE Lynne Henshaw, the GMB representative, said: “The changes have been absolutely tremendous. There are 22 disabled people, they’re a lovely set of people. The threat of closing down had been hanging over them for a very long time. It’s a shining example of what can be achieved if there’s innovation and commitment from all sides. It’s a contrast to the situation at Remploy. The tragic consequences of making 1,400 disabled people unemployed makes my heart sink. I’m happy Able and Willing is becoming a viable business and a long-term prospect.” A familiar face around the factory is Lyn Lynch, from the council’s Supported Employment Team, which helps people with disabilities and longterm health needs. She said: “We support people to learn their jobs and stay in work and we help companies with disability issues. A lot of the adjustments can be so small but people don’t actually think of them. One man had a hearing impairment and his desk faced the wall. People always had to come up and tap him to get his attention. We got the desk turned round. We had a lady who worked as an admin assistant. She had limited use of one arm so we got her keyboard adjusted.”

She said that the hospital, local supermarkets and care homes such as Birch Grove in Stanford Avenue, Brighton, had been good at recruiting the people she helped. She and her colleagues run courses to help people find jobs in the care sector and as cleaners. Looking back over the past few months at Able and Willing, she said: “Change is very difficult for anyone but more so for our folk. Everyone’s stepped up to the mark.” Mr White said that the changes had seen


found out about my disability. I’ve got ankylosing spondylitis. It’s a condition where your spine fuses. I try not to let it affect me and I never use it as an excuse.” While he was on the dole he was asked to go for training in Portsmouth which, despite the commute, he did. He said: “The travelling was a bit awkward at times. I think they wanted me to prove I wanted to work. After that, they offered me a chance to come to Castleham. I had a trial

“‘It’s a shining example of what can be achieved if there’s innovation and commitment from all sides’” companies like Imex, the conference organiser based in Hove, place orders. He was adamant that his staff must be able to compete on price and quality. If there was any initial hesitancy it disappeared when the first job was delivered on time and in budget. “They couldn’t have been happier,” he said of his client. And as he beamed about the new machinery and a display case brimming with samples of signs, mugs, t-shirts and other printed and embroidered goods produced by his staff, he added: “This extraordinary place gives them the dignity of work.”

JOHN’S STORY John Dean, 55, from Moulsecoomb, is a team leader at ableandwilling. He worked as a chandelier maker when he left school. When the business struggled, he was one of those who lost his job. He said: “I fitted chandeliers before I

Able & Willing products officer Ian Tatum

period, it’s lasted 28 years. I started off as a humble assembler on the shop floor. I became a charge hand – and now it’s called team leader.” Mr Dean, who is also a member of the council’s Disabled Workers Forum, said: “If I can, then I’ll work. Having a disability does restrict the type of work you can do. You have to accept you’ve got a disability and then just get on with life. They’re a good bunch here and they do a good day’s work. “We were almost going out of business but the future looks bright now. I’ve probably gone through all the emotions you can think of. But now it’s a breath of fresh air.” ■ Able & Willing managers Steve Halliday and Jeff White

010_LS588_news frank talking_editorial 27/07/2012 14:19 Page 2



latest brighton & hove news

FRANKTALKING Insight, comment and analysis from the editor of Brighton & Hove News, Frank le Duc

Ignore the solar storm

that production prices are coming down even while the efficiency of the panels improves. The feed-in tariff is important but it’s only one factor in a changing equation. In short the solar salesmen and women will tell you that PV panels remain a good investment. Splash out, say, £8,500 and you can expect to recoup savings of more than £16,000 on your electricity bill over 25 years – the typical period used for financial projections. Over the same timescale, the feed-in tariff should generate a return of more than £22,000. In short, solar panel suppliers have switched from an early response of doom and gloom to a sunnier aspect. They are reminding customers that almost any return beats the almost non-existent interest rates offered to Despite the latest changes to the feed-in tariff, bank or building society savers. And the payback period comes in at under fitting photovoltaic panels is still worthwhile seven years for a growing number of properties. Of course some of the subscribers to the Brighton Energy Co-op’s community scheme will have signed over their money for environmental p on the roof of St George’s Church, Kemp Town, in the past week, reasons rather than financial ones. They can expect a return on their technicians have been fitting an array of solar or photovoltaic (PV) investment but more importantly they want to be part of the panels. Given the aesthetics of the building, the momentum for the greener generation of electricity. In aim is to ensure that they aren’t visible from the street. “Suppliers have addition, they want to help reduce our carbon footprint and The project is the final one to be carried out from the renewable energy is a good starting point. Brighton Energy Co-op investment prospectus Another change from the start of August is that the feed-in published a few months ago. The non-profit group asked switched from an tariff will be paid for 20 years rather than the current 25 the public to subscribe for shares to fund three early response of years. Those working in the industry are adamant that it installations. The aim was to complete the work by the remains worth investing in solar panels even with the end of July. doom and gloom to shorter pay-out period and lower rates. They point to The other two projects were the Hove Enterprise refinements in design which will make a new generation of Centre at Shoreham Harbour and City Coast Church in a sunnier aspect” PV panels more attractive to the eye. Added to the fact that Portslade. With the team from local firm South Downs every uncertainty over oil and gas supplies – and the effect Solar due to complete their work in Kemp Town on on fuel prices – from unstable or unfriendly exporting countries makes solar Monday 30 July, there will have been sighs of relief that the installation will power look even more reliable. benefit from the current feed-in tariff. On Wednesday 1 August the amount Many in Brighton and Hove are receptive to the idea of solar power for paid for surplus solar power fed back into the national grid reduces again. sound environmental reasons. As the feed-in tariff becomes lower and less There has been something of a solar storm around the reductions in the relevant, more people are likely to make their choice on financial grounds feed-in tariff. The industry and its clients were caught off-guard last year by alone without worrying about whether government policy might change. The an expected change in the rewards for those who put up panels. Brighton & financial equation will become simpler, the initial outlay will be lower and the Hove City Council was one of those clients to have a rethink, delaying its £2.6 savings on fuel bills will remain worthwhile. It’s a sunny outlook. ■ million plans for 40 public buildings while it reworked the numbers. But in the industry some have suggested that the initial concerns have follow me on twitter @BHcitynews been overtaken by other welcome changes. The most important of these is


LATEST INBOX A reader’s poem: To Be Ourselves Mustn’t do what isn’t proper in society, Hide our feelings, no emotion, just anxiety, Just cry our silent tears inside beneath a phoney smile, Wondering what shall happen next, hoping for a while, Asking why they make their rules to suit what they think best Never thinking of the hurt and anger of the rest

Of those who want to be themselves, to be just who they are And not to bow down to the rules the others take too far. From birth to death we do no wrong Yet they taint our names with sin Despising us for what we are and what we are within, We have our feelings like the rest, though different they may be Oh, can’t they see the tears we hide, the bitterness within, So though they speak their words so cruel and laugh to see us cry We’ll still go on and be ourselves until the day we die Sherifa Rashidally, via letter

> Have your say To comment on any of our news and features or to let us know what’s on your mind email You can also write to Letters, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH Re: Volcano review Gosh, I’m so surprised at your review; I was there on opening night too, and thought it an excellent play with potential to become a classic! The reason for it

having remained under wraps was, I think, to preserve the dignity of those whose sexual shenanigans inspired the play (including Ian Fleming); in my opinion Adela is a character with the potential to be debated like Hedda Gabler or Ibsen’s Nora. Far from “unemotional” I thought Jenny Seagrove’s aloof persona to be a perfect contrast to her over excited friends’, and left space for her profound observations. I didn’t mind her dusting either – what else would one do? Still, one man’s meat and all that. Catherine Meek, via

011_LS588_the martlets_011_LS466_interview 27/07/2012 13:00 Page 3


MARTLETS MEN The girls have walked for the Martlets Hospice, so on Sunday 14 October it’s up to the men and boys!


he Martlets Noon Walk is one of those rare events in Brighton and Hove – it’s a men-only, 13 mile sponsored walk and a chance for men and boys (aged 12+) from all parts of the city to walk together to support the work of their local hospice. It’s a fundraising walk just for men to remember friends, loved ones or colleagues who have been affected by cancer or terminal illness. “Many charity fundraising events in Brighton are exclusively for women, but there are very few just for men. Over 800 women from the city turned out on 15 June this year to walk for the Martlets Hospice. This year’s Noon Walk will be one of the Hospice’s key fundraising events in our 15th anniversary year. We hope men and boys from across the city will be inspired to take part on 14 October,” says Roger French, Chair of Trustees at the Martlets. It is a great day out walking with family, mates and, if you want, well behaved dogs too. Think of the

You can create some rivalry in raising money for the Martlets by joining as a business, club or social team. Then you can be in with a chance of winning the Noon Walk Cup – kindly sponsored by Wilson Sandford – awarded to the team that raises the most money. There are also prizes for the best fancy dress participants – the more outrageous the costumes the better! The Martlets Hospice cares for people affected by terminal illness living in and around Brighton and Hove. All their services are provided free of charge. Since opening in 1997, staff and volunteers have cared for and supported over 22,000 local people. As less than a third of their funding comes from the NHS, support from everybody in the community is absolutely vital. The Hospice provides end of life care services to adults with terminal illness including cancer. Facilities and services include an 18bed In-Patient Unit and Hospice-atHome Services. Practical and emotional support is also offered to the families and carers of patients including helping them through bereavement. The Hospice is also developing additional services for outpatients and those living at home needing end of life care and support.

Noon Walk as healthy exercise but having the real purpose of helping local people get the compassionate and high quality end of life care they deserve! The walk will start at noon at the Probiz County Cricket Ground in Hove. Walkers will make their way along the seafront and cliff tops to Saltdean Lido for a refreshment pit stop, before returning to the cricket ground where well-earned pints and a medal will be waiting! There are plenty of pubs on the route in case you need to top up fuel tanks. There will also be special medals and treats for the dogs as well.

“The Martlets will always have a special place in my heart. Thanks for all the chats, your honesty, your total compassion, your ability to calm me and all my family, and your desire to ease suffering”


on th


The Martlets’ main aim is to maximise the quality of life for patients and they strive to support patient choice, dignity and independence. They aim to help people when they need it most. Now in its fourth year, the Noon Walk has raised nearly £60,000. As in the past, the money from this year’s walk will be used directly to fund services. Why not try to raise money online with Just Giving? The Hospice will help you do this and you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to collect sponsorship and how it can help with your fundraising. Tell Martlets and your friends about your Noon Walk involvement on Facebook and Twitter. The Martlets Noon Walk takes place Sunday 14 October 2012. Register online at or contact Rachel at the Martlets Fundraising Office on 01273 747455 or email

012_LS588_snapshots-comps _Editorial 26/07/2012 13:04 Page 2


Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Carla Ballantine, of local fashion label Sugar Jones

You just can’t help but be inspired by Brighton and its people. The range of individual styles on show in the city rivals anywhere in the world and is perfect for anyone who appreciates beauty and good design. I am a great believer in manufacturing locally, so it is a bonus to have so many talented suppliers here. Plus I get to indulge my other passion of running by the sea.

Carla Ballantine is the driving force behind the Sugar Jones fashion label, which is the latest in a long line of talented Brighton based designers. Carla started her label in Cornwall, but moved to Brighton after customers insisted her work was too cutting edge to hide away in the sleepy south west. Sugar Jones’ handmade bespoke pieces range from vintage inspired recycled jewellery to genuine Cuban cigar box handbags. She also has a commercial line inspired by a background of graphic design. This winning combination has seen Sugar Jones nominated in the Great Exhibition 2012 as a Best in Britain Start Up.




To celebrate Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds releasing a set of reissues of their classic albums, we have three copies of the collector’s editions up for grabs. Each deluxe double-disc edition of Nocturama, Abattoir Blues/The Lyre of Orpheus, and DIG, LAZARUS DIG!!! includes the original stereo album, the new 5.1 surround mix, a specially commissioned short film made by UK artists Iain Forsyth and Jane Pollard, non-album B-sides from the singles, videos and exclusive sleeve notes. To win a copy of the collector's edition CD, tell us: Q Name one of the three albums on the deluxe edition.


Calling all comedy fans! We’ve teamed up with Komedia Brighton to give away four tickets to one of their fantastic Krater Comedy Club nights, which includes a bottle of bubbly too! Krater is the night in Brighton to catch stand-up comedy with four top comics guaranteed on the night. Previous performers have included Andy Parsons, Sarah Millican, Dan Atkinson, Richard Herring and Susan Murray to name a few, with the evening often hosted by compere Stephen Grant. Entrants must be aged 18 or over. To win four tickets to one of the Krater Club Thursday or Sunday night shows in August, tell us: Q Name a previous Krater Comedy Club performer.


We have five copies of the Golden Globe Award Winner film Woman In A Dressing Gown to give away. From the director of Cape Fear comes a renowned British drama that follows the turmoil caused when a seemingly comfortable marriage of 20 years is rocked by the husband’s infidelity. Originally released in 1957, the film is a powerful drama at a time of social and political movement, showing that the wife, (Yvonne Mitchell) in the marriage has become hopeless and tired, all born from loneliness, boredom and depression. She burns meals, listens to the radio too loud and doesn’t even get dressed. When her husband confesses to falling in love with his secretary, the wife’s world continues to fall apart. Q.Who plays the female lead, Amy?



with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 13 August 2012.

013_LS588_celebcity_Celebcity 27/07/2012 15:02 Page 2




Celebcity with Jo Brooks Albion launch new teams, celebs line up for Rock ‘n’ Roll Bingo and new TV drama set in Brighton

was meeting his Olympic torch runner pal and the two decided to grab a quick meal in the Italian restaurant. The manager of Fellini suggested that Tom tried using the Olympic torch as a cheese grater, and he did!

Albion’s first community teams I

spent last Thursday up at The Amex, with first team players Tommy Elphick and Craig Mackail-Smith who were there to support the launch of the Albion’s very first community teams. Supported by Sussex financial services company, Wellesley Wealth Authority, the two teams will be recruited from Whitehawk and will play in the Sussex Sunday Youth League. Tommy and Craig, pictured here with Tony Hannigan of Wellesley’s and his fellow directors, are in the middle of pre-season training and took time out to meet the 52 strong youth squad and show their support for this brilliant project.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Bingo is back! After last year’s event with Ewan June Brown (aka MacIntosh Dot Cotton) this unique evening returns to Concorde 2 on Saturday 11 August. Organised by Juice FM Presenter Guy Lloyd to raise money for the Sussex MS Centre, the night will include live music from Fran Classic, Sweet Sweet Lies and Mean Poppa Lean and a very special DJ set from Breakin’ Bears. The Rock ‘n’ Roll Bingo will be hosted by none other than Scotch egg enthusiast and part time Ali G impersonator – Keith from The Office (sometimes known as Ewan MacIntosh). Frankie Cocozza, Big Brother’s Pete Bennet and Kerry

© BBC Pictures


Mayo will also be in attendance on the night. Prizes include VIP tickets at The Amex, hotel stays at The Grand and Hilton Hotel, signed celebrity memorabilia and beauty treatments. Doors open at 8pm–3am and tickets are just £5, with all proceeds going to the Sussex MS Treatment Centre.


Brighton continues to be the real shining star of the south with the latest news about our seaside city is that it will soon be the location of a brand new TV drama. Think more Quadrophenia than The Gay Divorcee however, as Channel 4’s The Fear is set to explore the city’s criminal underworld. Richard E Grant is signed as the lead and BBC’s Wallander writer, Richard Cotton, also on side – we’re


pretty sure it’s going to be a must watch. The hour long episodes will see Peter Mullan (from Tyrannosaur) as ex-crime lord Richie, attempt to rescue our dilapidated West Pier whilefighting off the Albanian mafia (as you do). With Grant pitched to play a plastic surgeon with a dark past and exEastEnder Paul Nicholls starring alongside him, the first wafts of gossip from the set sound hopeful. Filming has already started on location so keep your eyes peeled and let us know if you get any dirt on the upcoming series, watch this space.


Tom Pellereau, The Apprentice 2011 winner, took time out of inventing new products for Lord Sugar to grab a bite in Fellini, Hove. The reality star

Okay so she’s not quite a coverstar (yet) but Millie the cat is making like Madonna and getting her Vogue on. The Bengal moggy from Brighton has just completed her first photoshoot with the huge fashion magazine, prowling and purring for legendary photographer Graeme Montgomery. The shoot, for a glamorous jewellery spread, needed Millie’s purrrfect paws alongside a few (not quite so important) models. Millie has shown herself to be a natural in front of the camera, being able to, “purr, yawn and strike poses on demand,” according to her owner Jo-Rosie Haffenden. But Millie isn’t the only famous furry face in their household – with their pitbull terrier set to become a star of silver screen too. The canine thespian was working on a film when his owner was approached to use Millie’s charms. Since then the model cat has signed to an agent and been upgraded to a brand new bag. She truly is the cat what got the cream!

Have you spotted a celeb in the city?

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to

follow me on twitter



Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Choice cuts



Hove’s Boundary Passage follows a natural fault line, and has been the scene of seventy-two earthquakes since 1839. One, in 1994, measuring 8.4 on the Richter scale, swallowed Bankers fish and chip shop whole and then spat it out again complaining there wasn't enough salt and vinegar.

We’re headed for even more cuts but which vital services would you dispense with?

Since church attendances are down across the country, I suggest cutting costly Vicars and replacing them with tape recorders that emit, when a button is depressed, appropriate vicar-like phrases, such as “Very good to see you in church this week,” and “We'd like to thank you all for your donations to the steeple fund.” If he wasn't dead they could have got Derek Nimmo to do it, but, in his absence, Tom Hollander would make an adequate replacement. REV. STEVEN ARMITAGE, ST. JUDE'S CHURCH, PORTSLADE I suggest halting our road maintainance and improvement programmes permanently. As soon as one street is resurfaced, Virgin


I have a novel idea: I propose that, rather than paying wages, the council “enslave” their current workforce, and these “slaves” should labour for bed and board. This arrangement might seem unattractive to workers at first, but I'm sure in time they would become acclimatised to their new regime. WING COMMANDER HAROLD UNDERSHOTT (RETIRED), SALTDEAN

Mad Matt Matt Whistler is forward in going backwards


came across a posting in the secret forum site, yippee! It's International Walking Backwards Day this coming Saturday. I'm really looking forward to it – I’ve even stuck rear view mirrors to my feet. It's a great way to overcome your sense of fear. According to the official manual, the best thing to do is wear a hat with a car cleaning sponge stuck to the back of it to prevent thud injuries on lamp-posts and static people. The Brighton day starts off on the Level at 2pm and the rules are simple: walk backwards for as long or as little as you like. There are thousands of people gathering in Trafalgar Square in London and Times Square in Manhattan, and this has really taken off in Sweden. There are

no speeding limitations and awards are given for the longest distance travelled between the launch time and the turn of the clock at midnight. The organiser believes if enough people walk backwards simultaneously we can reverse time by five minutes giving us enough time to catch the train you’ve just missed. The journey is verified by your film submission on a mobile phone. Past cheats have been siphoned out, they submitted a walking film reversed in editing. Awards are also for the funniest backwards walk. is going to be officially released the following Monday and you can upload your mobile film footage onto it and the judging panel will assess your backwards

In • Nudie Pics • Jazz Mags • Art Photography • Adult Material • Men-Only


come and dig it up again anyway, so you might as well not bother. The traffic flow will be improved for a few months at least, by

which point we may all be using futuristic flying cars, like those seen in the Back To The Future films. BARRY GARLOWE, MILE OAK


The Piratical exclamation “ho”, particularly well-loved of seashanties, is a corruption of “Hove”, so to be correct one should actually sing “Yo Hove Hove and a bottle of rum.”


Millionaires’ Row's most famous inhabitants have included Fatboy Slim, Derek Jameson, Susan Stranks, Nick Berry, A.J.P. Taylor, F.R. Leavis, Professor A.L. Rowse, Raymond Williams, Eric Hobsbawm, David Lodge, Hugh Trevor-Roper, Richard Hoggart and Professor Laurie Taylor.


Kurt Vonnegut's last novel Ace Note Flop House, unfinished at the time of his death, was set in a future Hove, the only surviving remnant of civilisation following an

• Mucky Books • Adult Interest • Glamour Mags • Mature Content • Dirty Magazines


I'd get rid of the police, judiciary, and the penal system. Before long the workings of the free market, unfettered by regulation, would conduce towards a stable and happy society with all needs met. ERIC “FINGERS” SHRUBSHAW, CELL 419, LEWES PRISON

In & Out


014_LS588_barecheek-madmatt_Editorial 27/07/2012 14:00 Page 2

unexplained apocalypse, where Time bends in on itself.


While the rest of Great Britain got the famous Kitchener “Your Country Needs You” recruitment poster in which the Earl points at the viewer, Hove received one in which he was instead giving the finger.

mentality and invite the overall winner to a huge ceremony in L.A. I have been practising and unfortunately, I'm currently stranded in a pot hole. If you stand still in this business you will just go backwards. Latest TV will be there filming on the day. Good luck and see you there.

On your marks get set

Crash bang wallop

Read Matt’s full blog at mattwhistlerbrighton

S c O O C

015_LS588_cityspeak_Editorial 27/07/2012 14:51 Page 1


Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw has planned her book launch


had never been to a book must have sometimes made the launching in my whole life, medical team’s hearts drop. Yet a despite attending writing parent can only applaud his seminars and belonging to various tenacity and dedication to his son book clubs. (I don’t count being in (who, to everyone’s delight, was the audience for a live BBC Book playing football with his mates on Club recording by ‘Jim’ Naughtie a the lawn). few years ago when I was so The second launch was a more chuffed when one of my questions formal, though also enjoyable, was used later in the broadcast. occasion held at the British The book was The Library in London Scold’s Bridle by for Ros Barber’s The Minette Walters, a Marlowe Papers, an “I have put it very good read, and I original and on my coffee remember being so powerful story of impressed with the Christopher Marlowe table to add a author because (said by some to be about an hour before the real writer of bit of gravitas” the broadcast began Shakespeare’s her handbag works). It is written containing passport, credit cards totally in verse and while this may and a large amount of cash had sound daunting it is quite easy been stolen. In her place I knew I and accessible to read. It is also a could not have carried on so very beautifully bound book and I professionally with the have put it on my coffee table to programme as though nothing add a bit of gravitas. had happened.) So now I would like to have my Anyway, in May my book own book launching. But like the launching duck was broken by two little girl who plans her beautiful invitations and both from local wedding from the white dress to authors. The first was a delightful the ten-tiered cake but has not evening held at Southover Grange yet got a groom, I know where I in Lewes for Martin Spinelli’s heart will hold my launch, who to invite rending story After The Crash and what we’ll have to eat, but describing a father’s fight to save there is still the question of the his son’s life and thereby actual book. My novel is still many transforming his own. I am sure drafts away from being sent Martin will agree with me when I anywhere and while I am now say that his presence on the inspired to keep at it, I hope I don’t wards at King’s College Hospital pop my clogs before my big day.

Latest Blogs Read all these and more, now online at What She Said – Carla Read on Caudalie Beauty Elixir: “I’ll be the first to admit that although I may consider myself somewhat of a cosmetics fanatic, I'm actually a bit of a skincare skeptic! I don't mean I don't believe in or practice skincare, of course I do, in fact it’s the most important part of my beauty regime!” Sussex Wildlife Trust – Laura Brook sits up and takes notice: “Sometimes we miss things even closer to home in the privacy of our back garden. These precious spaces can have life crammed in to every nook and cranny. By noticing and recording the common, and more unusual, wildlife we see in our gardens we can really help conservation.”

Cafe Dharma – Anna Doyle provides a café lovers take on the meaning of life while enjoying a cuppa: “I’ve worked out that I tend to go in the opposite direction to the masses. You’ll find me in the shops and quirky streets of Brighton when the crowds are down on the beach leaving town relatively quiet. Or I’ll be down on the seafront enjoying the calm of the empty promenade on an unseasonal overcast day.” Brighton Ramblings – Brighton mum Katy Wayne has become one of those parents: “The mid point of summer arrived with some torrential downpours and very gusty winds. We had a christening to attend. In the three hours it took for us all to get ready to go out (yes, three hours), the rain disappeared, the wind lulled a little


Teen spirit Tasha Dhanraj questions the questioners


ne of my relatives has been about it every day to get it back looking for a new job. In one doesn’t mean you’ll make a good phone interview she was administrative assistant. Being able asked to say how her friends would to say, “If he can’t see how amazing describe her. In this job market you you are, then he doesn’t deserve have to answer every question you!” will almost certainly not give correctly, but let’s face it, there’s no you any transferable skills for a job way to answer this without coming at Waitrose. across like a massive tool. Why does any company care Think about what you feel are about what your friends do or do not your best personality traits. Say think of you? If they’re going to ask you think you’re generous, questions that are almost certainly thoughtful, empathetic or really going to be answered with lies, they funny – would you really feel might as well ask questions that are comfortable actually admitting that actually relevant like, “Have you you think all those ever taken more postthings about yourself it notes from the to a person you don’t stationery cupboard know? But it’s worse, than you actually “What do you because to answer the needed?” or, “If your question honestly, you actually do boss was taking the have to say how you whole afternoon off when you work to go to the dentist, actually think your friends would describe you pack up from home?” would you. Mine would and sneak off early?” probably be ‘neurotic, or, “What do you unreasonably secure actually do when you in her opinions and well meaning, work from home?” but accidentally patronising on But then again, one of the key occasion.’ I’m sure any employer traits that employers look for in new reading this is thinking, “Gee whiz, recruits is honesty. Maybe this let’s hire this gem of humanity.” ridiculous question that keeps The people that ask these popping up was all started by one questions are setting us all up for a boss who is looking for that one fail. What are they even looking for special candidate who will finally anyway? The traits that make you a say, “I am a horrible person. I’m good friend aren’t the same things selfish, I’m insecure and some that make you a good employee. nights I tell my friends that I’ve got Letting your mates borrow your nail to visit my family, when really I just varnish and then not hassling them want to watch Don’t Tell The Bride.”

and it became gloriously sunny. The husband and I realised that we have become those parents: the ones who trail round after a small child at quite a slow pace, looking somewhat fed-up. We used to find the scenario amusing as childfree onlookers; now it is something that requires a tagteam approach and a hefty dose of patience.” LV Loves – JBPR’s Lisa on the sparks in a relationship: “Obviously the Peter Andre show isn’t the most thought provoking of shows and it’s not intending to be either, but a chat Pete had with his friend and road manager Carl got me thinking...” Clash Daddy – Latest 7’s music editor Jeff Hemmings on Jools Holland: You probably won’t recall

this but Holland’s first work as a ‘session’ musician involved working on a track by the legendary Wayne County & The Electric Chairs in 1976 on a track called F*** Off. Wayne County was a transgender woman who subsequently changed her name to Jayne... Fast forward to Monday 4 June and there is Julian ‘Jools’ Holland OBE performing the rather more gentle ‘You Are So Beautiful’ with singer Ruby Turner in front of Buckingham Palace for the Queen’s Jubilee, and broadcast around the world.” To read more, log on now:

We need you! Blog for They’re all blogging, are you? For the chance to be included, email us now with an example of your work or a link to your blog

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016_LS588_interview_011_LS466_interview 26/07/2012 13:12 Page 2


L7 INTERVIEW well they call it Evensong, and it’s a full choir and a mighty organ. I go for the entertainment really but I do try to get a message to head office between the singing and the organ playing, I do decide to have a word with the boss.”

DODD DO RIGHT Ken Dodd is a legend of comedy and variety performance – from his own TV shows to live performances that have been known to keep the laughter going for five hours! Victoria Nangle talks to the man How’s your day been? “Well, just like myself, wet and windy. Dry and uneventful would be more like it.” Have you been out in the garden? “Who me? Goodness gracious, the fresh air would make me dizzy. I should have square eyeballs because I watch television a lot. Documentaries about how the cavemen lived in Knotty Ash. It’s where it all started. He was the very first comedian, a man called Stone Age Stanley; he told the first joke in history. What do you call a short-sighted dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saw-us. And he had a short-sighted dog, Do-you-think-hesaw-us Rex. How long have you been a journalist, all day?” All day and a bit of yesterday as well. How do you remember it all, because you do have legendary long routines? “People ask me that and I gave a smart alec answer a few months ago. Someone said ‘how do you remember all those jokes?’ and I said ‘you see madam, a joke is like an old friend. It’s been very good to me over the years and you never forget old friends’. I’m going to put that on a calendar. Knotty Ash philosophy. If things look black, put them in the laundry. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today, because if you do it today and you like it, you can do it again tomorrow.”

Since you seem to celebrate happiness so well, what do you think of contemporary comedians who come at it from a grumpy angle? “People often ask me what I think of contemporary comedians, other journalists have said ‘Ken, you’ve been going for over 50 years, you’ve travelled the length and breadth of the UK, how has humour changed over the last 50 years?’ Humour hasn’t changed. People still laugh today at the same things. The battle between men and women, finding out who’s boss. Money, riches and power, the same thing. There’s transport, food, drink. Exactly the same things. No, humour hasn’t changed; audiences have changed. Audiences’ expectations and what they want has changed. No entertainer or comedian goes on stage with the intention of dying, they go on with the intention of success and to do well. Over the last 50 years, we enjoy being able to say whatever we like but with that comes a responsibility. If you want to entertain people, you don’t want to go and shout and swear at them, do you?” Some performers these days are saying they miss restrictions because it was more fun to play around with words when they had restrictions... “Anybody can do shock comedy, shock comedy is easy. I could do that and you wouldn’t need a perm for three years. There are wonderful dirty jokes but I won’t do it. I want to follow in the footsteps of Arthur Askey, Ted Ray and people like that. They’re my heroes, they’re my family.” Would you write for other people? “No I’m not clever enough, I’m a performer. I’m just a live performer, I work with a live audience and I love working with them, teasing them and flirting with them. When you go on stage, you have 30 seconds to ingratiate yourself, to get yourself across. Posh actors call it ‘establishing a rapport’, ‘that’s what you do, dear boy’. I call it ‘building a bridge’. You’ve got 30 seconds to build a bridge and make them safe.”

I’m sure they appreciate it... “Yes, well, I don’t know. The main reason then is ‘Mr Dodd, are you looking forward to coming to Worthing?’ Yes, I’m definitely looking forward to coming to Worthing. Could you arrange that the seaweed won’t be anywhere. It lies on the shore and it stinks I take it you still enjoy to high heaven. You have never performing as much as you experienced such a pong in your “Anybody can do ever did... life. So if you can go to Worthing “A lot of people say you walk shock comedy, shock and make sure the seaweed on stage and rattle off a load isn’t in. And am I looking of jokes, and it’s not like that comedy is easy” forward to Eastbourne? Yes, of at all. There’s two ways of course I’m looking forward to doing a show, you either do it Eastbourne, great audiences. at the audience or with the audience. You see a lot Over the years, I have like a window cleaning round. of entertainers, they go on, mostly singers who I go back once a year or so to the places where don’t really establish any contact with the everyone enjoys and they come along, the people audience, they just do it. When you actually talk to who like my kind of show, The Ken Dodd Happiness the audience, communicate with them, you do it Show and they love to laugh. That’s the main thing, with the audience. It’s a bit like building a house, they have got to like to laugh. They come along to me you start by putting the foundations in where you to have their chuckle muscles tickled. And it’s not say, ‘By jove! What a beautiful day. What a just a one-man show, I don’t just come on to say beautiful day to ram a cucumber through the hello and goodbye. It’s like a proper variety show.” neighbour’s letterbox and shout, “Watch out, the Martians are coming!”’ It’s like building a place, What’s your plan for the rest of the day? you take it bit by bit. You coax them and you play “I plan to get dry. I put my socks on this morning an audience like you play a violin, you know the and notice I’m getting webbed feet. It’s all the rain, cold spots, the hot spots and the warm people and we’ve had quite a lot of it here. There’s a Liverpool the cold people and you just have to coax them.” man who goes round all the pubs, his name is Noah and he’s going round asking people, ‘Is anyone What was the happiest thing that happened to looking for an ark?’” you this weekend? “Getting up this morning probably. All sorts of The Ken Dodd Happiness Show, Pavilion Theatre, things, if I have a Sunday off I do all sorts of Worthing, Saturday 4 August, 7pm, £20/19 & strange, different things. We always go down to Congress Theatre, Eastbourne, Sunday 5 August, Liverpool Cathedral and they have an afternoon, 7.30pm, £19.50/17.50

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WAVE WORLD Health & beauty news & reviews for summertime SCOTT CORNWALL’S COLOUR RESTORE RANGE

The new Colour Restore range from Scott Cornwall restores depleted pigment levels, revitalising tired hair colours from over styling, heat and sun damage. Best of all, it’s for home use and, as there are no harsh chemicals, it can be used as often as you wish. Colour Restore can even be applied after a colour or even after bleaching or perming. Deep Red restores red tones; Iced Platinum banishes yellow and brassy tones and Cool Ash stops rusty, copper and orange tones. Don’t reach for the hair dye next time you need to sort out a hair

colour or post holiday when the sun’s damage has altered your hue; let Colour Restore do the work. £11.99, available from Boots stores nationwide and


Pukka’s new Peppermint and FairWild Licorice tea is our new favourite. Working in partnership with the World Wildlife Fund (WWF), when you buy the tea, money will go towards the animal charity’s conservation work across the planet. There’s never been a better time for a cuppa! £2.25 from

if you’re after a splash of colour this summer, choose bright pink or blue! Light up the LED screen in an instant with its easy swipe action – just as you would unlock your iPhone. £89, limited stockists: see


You’ve got your touch screen phone, camera and tablet, now the latest fashion gadget catching our eye is the new Ilumi+ Series watch from ODM. Pick it up in black or brown or,


Gwyneth Paltrow raved about the benefits in her blog, ‘Gloop’, and now we’re all trying to get our hands on the new Unbeelievable products: Bee Prepared Max Strength and Daily Defence. Take to help boost the immune support system and fight colds and infections this summer. Daily Defence, £9.99, and Max Strength, £11.99, from independent health food stores including We’re also got our eye on athletes’ favourite: Bimuno Immunaid. This

Let the games begin Juice FM’s Andrea Fox has seen the light


s I write, the Olympic torch prepares to go to a mythical place where no Olympic flame has gone before: Walford’s Albert Square. The long-running soap opera will celebrate the fiery stick’s appearance with a live show depicting made-up character Billy Mitchell carrying the real flame through the very unreal London borough. I can only hope sticking with its history of gritty, true to life storylines that in future episodes Billy finds unwanted notoriety for trying to sell his replica torch on an online auction site for profit. The build up to the Games seems to have got a bit of a bad rap so far. Leaked details of Danny Boyle’s opening ceremony sound comical (how many sheep?). Thanks to the well publicised security staffing shortages by a Sussex-based company, ‘G’ and ‘4’ and ‘S’ in that order have become a funny punchline. And I’ve even heard some back-benchers describing such issues as ‘inevitable.’ Now I’m all for a bit of classic British selfdeprecation, but as you read this, with the Games actually taking place in the capital, I can’t help thinking as a nation it feels a bit

like we’ve had our fill of all that now. Instead of ironic comments, now feels like the time for the other Great British tradition: over enthusiasm for the national team. Now feels like the time for discussing with bus drivers whether you think Tom Daley will come away with a gold in the diving. Time

instead to post ‘Wel jel’ under friends’ Facebook photos of their hard sought-after athletics tickets. I’ve been avidly reading up on British hopefuls like young brothers Alistair and Jonny Brownlee, two triathlon competitors; learning important facts, like where the table tennis will be held (ExCel Arena), just how big Chris Hoy’s thighs are (width of a small horse) and what exactly is Greco Roman Wrestling (still not 100 per cent sure). So much to know! But what do we really care about? Well, winners of course. Us Brits may love to back, and often be, the underdog, but when it comes to the all-time best nations for medals at the Olympics, we’re third! When it comes to the Games, we should get bronze! And third still equals a medal. The end of the Olympic-bashing attitude seemed to me to coincide with the tour through Brighton and Hove of the torch. It reached us on day 59 of its arduous journey, which saw it man handled by everyone from Will.I.Am to Jedward and nearly nicked by two children in Coventry. On a grey July Monday the flame travelled through Arundel, Worthing and Lancing to arrive in Hove. Considering it had chucked it down just before it arrived in the city limits, an estimated whopping 80,000 of us turned out to see it that Monday evening in Hove alone.

food supplement specifically targets the gut, the body’s power centre for peak performance, endurance and recovery. An increase in levels of ‘good’ gut bacteria is the result, strengthening the immune system. £9.99 from Boots and


Whether you’re working out or winding down, products from the new men’s range from Champneys are a must have this summer. The 48-hour High Performance AntiPerspirant Spray (£3.50) will keep you fresh and ready for the toughest sport on the hottest day. Wind down with the Cooling Muscle Rub (£10) and replenish with the Energising Face Scrub (£7). The best bit? You don’t need to do a workout to enjoy these products! Available at Champneys Resorts & Day Spas from 30 July,

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The next day 30,000 got up early to watch it leave town. On Monday night I watched the flame from Old Shoreham Road just outside Hove Park, and then followed it on my bike as it snaked through the city to the seafront and back up to Hove Cricket Ground. Following behind the procession of promotional buses, official buses for torchbearers, some people in grey tracksuits, the flame itself, and police and security, one thing struck me. Everyone was smiling! It was raining for what felt like the 40th day in a row, and it’s not like people did a handstand with the thing. It’s a torch, on fire, carried through the streets. But loads of people turned out to watch and take photos, people who had told me they didn’t give two figs, and everyone seemed really pleased to see the flame go past their house. It reminded me of the crowds that came out to cheer Brighton Marathon runners on back in April. All the people I spoke to about the Olympics seemed to feel that it’s here now, and quite frankly we hope it all goes pretty well, thanks very much. Here’s a picture of me with a torch. I think the gold suits me. Dan Gasser and Foxy Monday to Friday from 6am follow me on twitter


Let’s look at Varicose Veins At Nuffield Health Brighton Hospital in Woodingdean, our specialists Mike Brooks and his colleagues are happy to consult and help you with any varicose vein issues you may have. For more information or to make an appointment, please contact the enquiry line on 01273 936 948 or visit our website.

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Lead vascular surgeon Mike Brooks on varicose vein treatment at the Nuffield Health Brighton Hospital

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ESSENTIALS Pack sensibly for your holiday with our checklist of beauty essentials

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Nails in Easy Breezy, £6, Make up at Topshop, 2 Add a girly pastel colour to your nails that will make your summer outfit pop whatever the pattern. Bright and fun, every girl needs gorgeous nails and

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Décleor Aroma Sun Expert Protective Hydrating Milk SPF 30, £23.80, from 3 A little on the pricey side, but it’s doing the job of various products! Keep your skin healthy and hydrated this summer with this body milk that doesn’t just moisturise but protects too so you can enjoy the sun safely.

Barry M Glossy Tubes, £3.99, from 4 Fabulous zesty colours that will bring your lips to life, this quick and easy tube makes application simple so you can always have full-looking lips that glimmer in the sunshine. These are so small we’ll forgive you for grabbing more than one shade.

Daily Mint Shampoo, £9.95, Fudge Hair Care, 5 Get fresh and bouncy hair this holiday with peppermint and menthol that soothes and revives your hair after hours of soaking up the sun. Lee Stafford Matt Fat Shaggy Texturising Paste, £7.19 from Boots 6 A little goes a long way with this product and it’s small enough to fit in your hand luggage too. Ideal for short to medium length hair, add some serious texture in an instant, by rubbing the product vigorously through the whole of the hair. The result? A ‘just got out of bed’ look with shaggy and matt hair that’s uber stylish.

‘Dotty For You’ Rollasoles, £15.95, 7 We’re big fans of Rollasoles here at Wave – the rolled up shoes are a saviour after a night wearing uncomfortable high heeled shoes. The latest

Rollasoles, these 1950s inspired Rockabilly peep-toe, polka dot beauties are on our holiday wishlist. An extra thick, luxurious sole makes them ultra comfortable and the peep-toe is flirty and fun. Wear on the plane, around the resort or on a night out. We’re sold!

Product research: Emily Usher

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he Nuffield Health Brighton Hospital in Woodingdean offers a range of treatments for varicose veins. Mr Mike Brooks, lead vascular surgeon for the Brighton and Sussex University Hospitals Trust, consults weekly at the Nuffield Health Brighton Hospital. He says that varicose veins are common. They normally appear as bulging lumps on the calves or thighs which initially present a cosmetic problem but with time may become increasingly problematic, causing pain, itching and occasionally ankle swelling. More severe but less common symptoms include dry scaly skin around the varicosities (varicose eczema), skin pigmentation, bleeding, “If they become scarring of the skin and the underlying fat (liposclerosis), and more prominent and more rarely still, break down of the skin and ulceration. more troublesome Varicose veins present more frequently in women and may be made it may be worth worse by pregnancy. They seem to run in families so you may inherit the discussing them tendency to get them. Standing for long periods and being overweight may with your GP” also increase your risk. Varicose veins tend to get worse with time but can appear at almost any age from teens onwards. Veins are supposed to carry blood back to the heart. The problem in the legs (during the day anyway) is that it's uphill all the way. The blood is pumped up the leg when the muscles in the calf and the thigh contract (when you walk or run), and there are small one way valves every few inches in the veins to prevent the blood flowing back down the leg when those muscles relax. Most of the blood gets out of the legs in large deep veins within the muscles in the calf and thigh, but a small proportion of the blood comes up through smaller superficial veins running just under the skin. There are two main superficial veins – the long saphenous vein on the inside of the calf and thigh, and the short saphenous vein on the back of the calf. It's failure of the valves in these superficial veins that causes varicose veins. Every time you stand up, the blood rushes down the vein though the damaged valves and into the vein branches in the leg making them bulge, and that causes the pain and damages the skin resulting in the eczema, pigmentation and ulceration.

Treating varicose veins Many people live in peace with their varicose veins and don't seek any treatment but if they become more prominent and more troublesome it may be worth discussing them with your GP. Treatments range from wearing support stockings, which squeeze on the veins reducing symptoms (but that’s not a cure), to injections of a chemical into the veins causing them to shrivel up (sclerotherapy), endovenous treatment which works by destroying the veins with heat using a laser or radiofrequency catheter, through to surgical removal of the veins which has the advantage of removal all the varicosities in one go but involves a general anaesthetic and sometimes considerable bruising which always disappears, but that may take a few months. The advantage of the endovenous treatments is that they can be done under local anaesthetic as an outpatient procedure with less discomfort and less bruising. However not all varicose veins are suitable for this sort of treatment. Therefore it's very important that everyone seeking treatment for their veins has a clinical examination and an ultrasound scan of their legs to see which is the best treatment for their varicosities. Sometimes a combination of treatments is appropriate and the options should always be discussed before embarking on treatment to ensure the best results. At the Nuffield Health Brighton Hospital in Woodingdean, there are specialists, including Mr Brooks and his colleagues Mr Karim El Sakka and Mr Matthew Button who are only too happy to consult and help with any varicose vein issues you may have.  Nuffield Health Brighton Hospital, Warren Road, Woodingdean, 01273 936948,,

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Dear Jacquie Your queries about natural health answered by Jacquie Lane from the The College of Naturopathic Medicine Dear Jacquie I think I’m hypoglycaemic as my energy levels plummet and I get confused and weak if I haven’t eaten, my doctor just says eat healthily and cut down on sugar but is there anything else I should be doing? RP, Portslade Hypoglycaemia, also called low blood glucose or low blood sugar, occurs when blood glucose drops below normal levels. Hypoglycaemia can happen suddenly. It is usually mild and can be treated quickly and easily by eating or drinking a small amount of glucose-rich food. If left untreated, hypoglycaemia can get worse and cause confusion, clumsiness, or fainting. Severe hypoglycaemia can lead to seizures, coma, or worse. Assuming your GP has ruled out diabetes, keeping your blood sugar balanced is a matter of choosing the correct foods and eating at the right time. White foods such as sugar, cakes and biscuits will absorb into the

bloodstream very quickly and cause spikes and dips in your blood sugar levels. Examples of snack foods that, when combined assist with blood sugar balancing, are: oatcakes and hummus; apples and nuts; yoghurt and fruit; berries and seeds; rice cakes and cashew nut butter. Meals should be a combination of complex carbohydrates and protein, for example: sweet potato and salmon with vegetables; three bean chilli with brown rice or jacket potato. A complex carbohydrate is one that is not refined and therefore retains its fibre and nutrients.

Be careful with sweet fruit juice drinks or anything overly sweet on an empty stomach as this could cause a spike in your blood glucose levels and then a dramatic drop in levels. Some people can wait five hours between meals with no problems and others need a snack after two hours, this is a personal consideration and one size does not fit all when it comes to nutrition. Some nutrients help balance out our blood sugar levels and help our bodies extract nutrients from food such as chromium and vitamins B3 and B5. Excess exercise and skipping meals will impact on your blood sugar levels also so take precautions if you know you won’t be home for dinner or are doing an energetic exercise class. As always a nutritional therapist will help you put together a plan. See your health professional for advice.

Jacquie Lane is a lecturer at the College of Naturopathic Medicine (CNM) and the Director of Studies at CNM in Brighton. Jacquie also runs her own nutrition clinic in Brighton and manages a biological testing lab specialising in digestive issues. Email Jacquie Lane:

FREE HEALTH TALK Find out more about sugar at CNM Brighton’s free talk “Sugar: Not so sweet after all?” on Thursday 25 October, 6.30pm–8.30pm at The Guarana Bar. Reserve your place on 01342 410505,

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Wave embraces a summer of sport & urges you to find a keep-fit activity you enjoy too


his summer has us going crazy for sport. We kicked a ball around after watching Euro 2012; ping pong resurged as the game to play when the ‘Ping Festival’ descended on our city; Wimbledon saw us digging out our old tennis racquet, and finally the Summer Athletics has us... well, trying out anything and everything. Here in Brighton and Hove we are lucky to be able to choose any sporting activity right on our doorstep. Head to the Downs for rambling, paragliding or horseriding; head to the beach for volleyball, kayaking, windsurfing or swimming; ride a bike or slip on your trainers and run... anywhere. It really is that easy to find a sport you enjoy and once you have fun, it will never feel like a laborious chore in your ‘keep fit’ quest. If sport conjures up schooltime memories you’d rather forget, then it’s time to invest in a new pair of trainers and revisit the wonderful world of physical activity. If you do exercise regularly but need a change, take inspiration from the Games and try something new such as a gymnastics or an ice-skating class. Think back to when you were small and the sports you always wanted to play. Netball, stool ball, hockey... these can be enjoyed in your adult life too. The wellbeing benefits will be huge: as well as staying in shape and reducing the risk of high blood pressure and a heart attack, sport lets you take time out from the stresses of everyday life. Joining a tennis club, cycling club, running club or similar is a great way to meet new friends. The social benefits aside, sport can be as competitive or as non competitive as you wish – but a little healthy competition never hurt anyone, especially if improved fitness is the result.

Picturesque Daniel Frickelton tees off at the Stoke By Nayland Golf Club


ven if you are not particularly interested in fine art you will not have escaped at least a glancing exposure to the work of Gainsborough and Constable. Not if any of your formative years were spent in the UK, that is. Right now you are probably conjuring up images of tranquil verdant landscapes, streams and hay wagons set against dramatic, potentially threatening skies. You step through the frame, exchange the hay wagons for bunkers and greens, replace the domestic beasts with golf carts and trolleys, add a modern clubhouse and a full rainbow, and shazam! You are standing on the tenth tee of the Gainsborough Course in beautiful Stoke by Nayland, Suffolk. Behind you are nine of the most pleasant parkland golf holes you have ever played, requiring accuracy off the tees and precise club selection. Before you, one of the most mouth watering holes you have ever seen. The fairway hugs a slender finger lake which points helpfully at the tiny green you are seeking. You must place an accurate tee shot in excess of 200 yards to the corner of the dogleg to have a reasonable chance of arriving in two on

Remember that there is a sport for you. It may take a while to find the one you love but is it out there. Start with running or swimming, forms of exercise accessible to everyone, young and old. Swimming may also spur you on to try other water based sports like wind surfing or scuba diving (both extremely fun!). View the open water like an adventure; we need to take advantage of the area we live in whether it’s out in the water or up in the hills. Team-based activities are great fun and buddying up will help keep you motivated and means you are less likely to skip a session. So if the Games has you inspired, slip on your gym shorts or wetsuit and get out there. The choice is yours and we guarantee you will find a sport you can enjoy. Wave has put together a guide to the best sports facilities right here in the city from Lagoon Watersports, Alive Fitness and Brighton Sports Co. Use this as your starting point and who knows where you may end up – maybe at Rio in 2016.

this classic risk/reward par four hole. Unless you opt for laying up, your next shot will be over the tip of the finger lake to the green. More of the same awaits ahead, which is no doubt why this course has regularly hosted prestigious international championships, such as the European Seniors Tour and The Challenge Tour. If you chose to step into the other painting, The Constable Course, that “You step through is, you found the fairways a bit wider longer, the skies bigger, the views the frame...shazam! and across the hills and vales more By the time you reach the You are standing on impressive. previously terrifying 18th, a par three over a lake requiring a 200 yard carry the tenth tee” to the green, you find that the first 17 holes have prepared you for this moment. It soon becomes obvious why this is the members’ course of choice. The hotel on site offers 80 luxury rooms, bars, conference rooms and fabulous restaurant with its lake view. For non-golfers there is a fabulous spa which is ideal for families on the odd rainy day. Families will also enjoy a number of local attractions and walks nearby. A recent addition to the resort is the selection of self catering luxury lodges overlooking the golf course and offering an alternative for groups and couples looking for a little more privacy. Stoke By Nayland Golf Club, Colchester, CO6 4PZ, 01206 262836,

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Alive Fitness & Natural Health Alive Fitness and Natural Health isn’t your usual gym. You can feel that there is something different about the atmosphere when you first walk through the door. Maybe it’s the smile you are greeted with, and the earnest way the staff try to tailor your membership to you...maybe it’s the enthusiasm you are met with during your induction with a personal trainer, maybe it’s because you’ve finally found somewhere you can be yourself, train at your own pace, with no pressure and no intimidation. Alive has earned its reputation as Brighton’s friendliest gym for a reason and is pleased to offer an array of amenities to make you wonder how you ever made do without them – from the lovely on-site crèche to the hairdressers, beauticians, therapists (including massage and osteopathy), saunas, sunbed and large studio, offering a wide range of classes. There is a range of membership options to suit every need and budget, and with no 12 month contract to tie you down, what have you got to lose?! Get in touch with Alive today! Alive Fitness & Natural Health, 25–27 Castle Street, Brighton BN1 2HD, 01273 739606,,

Lagoon Watersports With sports firmly on our minds this summer and sailing one of the most popular sports in the Games, we are privileged to have Lagoon Watersports on our doorstep. Their thriving water sports centre at Brighton Marina is the perfect gateway to the water and a fantastic place to learn to dinghy or yacht sail. A variety of courses are available throughout the year for sailors of all levels, ages and abilities, from RYA practical sailing courses through to shore based theory courses and packages like ‘Zero to Dayskipper’. There is also a very popular Sunset Cruise which takes place on a Beneteau First yacht with a qualified RYA sailing instructor on board. It’s up to you if you want to get actively involved in the sailing, learn to manoeuvre and pick up some tips or if you just want to sit back, take in the views, enjoy a relaxing sail and watch the sun go down with a glass of sparkling in your hand and the wind in your hair! Sailing is a very unique, diverse sport opening up destinations and opportunities, and there truly is something for everyone at Lagoon Watersports. For further details and to book please give them a call. Lagoon Watersports, Pontoon 6, Western Concourse, Brighton Marina, BN2 5UP, 01273 424842 option 1,,

You might not be a Cavendish or Wiggins when it comes to riding a bike but if your cycling is about comfort and style then the Brighton Sports Company has a bike for you. They hire California style beach cruisers plus children’s bikes and add-ons right on the seafront cycle path to make it the perfect get out and do for the whole family. With summer finally on the way, a ride with family or friends exploring the seafront bike path between Hove and Rottingdean is the perfect way to burn off those calories gained while watching amazing Olympic feats on the television. If you’re feeling really adventurous try the Wild Hog tandem, a blaze of yellow that you’re sure to have loads of fun on and definitely get yourself seen. Come and see them on Madeira Drive; open every day it’s not raining, 10am–6pm. Brighton Sports Co, Madeira Drive, Brighton seafront, 07917 753 794,,

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L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit British & Modern European

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting. Locally owned and aiming to be the Cheers of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A great wine list complements wholesome and satisfying food. The kids’ menu is also great value. Open Mon–Fri, 5pm–9.30pm; Sat–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm. Open all day bank holidays and now the garden is open. The Old Bank, 120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200,


Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ‘n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256,

The Hove Bank

The Hove Bank Steak & Ribs is the new sister restaurant of The Old Bank, offering great service in a grand café restaurant setting with pavement seating on the south east corner of beautiful Palmeira Square. Serving delicious locally sourced steaks, ribs, burgers and salads, home-made vanilla ice cream, a delicious wine list both at lunchtime and in the evenings, and all at great value for money – especially their specials menu with three courses for £10.95 at lunchtimes and midweek before 7pm. Opening hours: Mon–Thurs 12pm–2pm and 5pm–9.30pm, Fri–Sat 12pm–10pm and Sun 12pm– 9.30pm. The Hove Bank, 64 Western Road, Palmeira Square, Hove, BN3 2JQ, 01273 721182,

The Townhouse – Kemp Town

The Foragers

Winners of the prestigious Sussex Food and Drink Finals 2012 for Best Eating Experience in Sussex and awarded an AA Rosette for their excellent cuisine. Furthermore, take advantage of their award winning beer garden while the sun shines. To celebrate these accolades they are offering complimentary champagne cocktails to all bookings of ten or more, just make sure to mention Latest 7 when making your party booking. The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, BN3 3YU 01273 733134,

The Gallery Brighton – The Lanes

This restaurant boasts one of the finest outdoor heated street terraces in Brighton. The Gallery offers the very finest locally sourced steak and seafood, all served in a friendly unpretentious environment. Located in the heart of Brighton’s Lanes, The Gallery is a must for those looking to get into the Brighton swing of things. With live music played on the terrace day and night this restaurant is a must next time you are out and about in the Lanes. They offer a great value lunch (2 courses for £10.95) and evening menu (2 courses for £15.95). Food is served all day. The Gallery Restaurant, 28 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL, 01273 773327, Mediterraneo Deli

The Hove Bank

The Townhouse Piano Bar and Restaurant is the perfect destination for those looking to relax in the heart of Kemp Town while enjoying their favourite tipple and the finest local summer menu, and listening to live piano every night of the week. The restaurant has won the ‘Top 10 Restaurants In Brighton’ and is independently owned by a local family. It boasts an amazing lunch and evening menu with locally sourced steaks, lamb, vegetarian and seafood. They offer amazing value set lunch menus (2 courses for £10.95 ) and evening menus (2 courses for £15.95 ), Mondays – Thursdays and the best roasts in town on Sundays from £9.95. The Townhouse – Kemp Town, 81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, BN2 1PA, 01273 693216,

fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude; everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £13.95 for two courses, £15.95 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £17.95 for two courses, £19.95 for three on Friday and Saturday. À la carte menu available. Open 6pm. New Steine Bistro, 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415,


Chaula’s Brighton

Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10. Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321,

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order. Cocoa, 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412,

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm, The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs. No

Indian A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting. Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Chaula’s, 2–3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661,

Chaula’s Lewes

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Chaula’s Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,

The Chilli Pickle

Local champion of regional Indian cuisine using seasonal, Sussex produce. For lunch you can feast upon a selection of award-winning King Thalis, street snacks, dosas, Roomali Roti wraps and Kathi Kebabs. There’s plenty of choice for vegetarian gourmands to enjoy too. The Chilli Pickle has been recognised with a Michelin Bib, two AA rosettes, voted Top 100 UK Restaurant in The National Restaurant Awards and runners-up in this year’s Brighton Foodie Awards. Lunch is served 12pm–3pm; Dinner 6pm–10.30pm Closed Tuesdays. Booking essential. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 900383,

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. Fat Leo, 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135,

Mediterraneo Deli

Mediterraneo Deli is indeed a family business, dedicated to serving you the best tasting, truly genuine and most authentic Sicilian food. The family-run deli offers mouth-watering daily specials, birthday cakes made to order and typical Sicilian products. They enjoy catering for all events from lunch meetings to dinner parties and weddings. Every dish is prepared and served fresh to order with ingredients genuinely sourced from Sicily. Open 9am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10am –3pm Sat. Mediterraneo Deli, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton, BN1 4NP, 01273 674350,

Thai Sawadee


Authentic cuisine in the familiar Sawadee style in Kemp Town’s most popular Thai restaurant. An extensive menu offers variety and plenty of spice. From home-made starters and fiery salads to traditional Thai curries, stir fries of finely sliced meats or prawns, whole fish grilled in banana leaf, or simply pad Thai, the menu has something to suit everybody’s taste. Sawadee, 87 St James Street, Brighton, BN2 1TP 01273 624233,


The Green Mango

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477,

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove. This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and they’re open every day, so come down and ‘gin yur yur’ (eat a lot!) The Green Mango, 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226,

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Food & Drink Andrew Kay reports on the the leader board in the 2012 Brighton & Hove Foodie Awards

In it to win it V

oting is now well underway for the third Brighton and Hove Foodie Awards, a celebration of the best eating, and an award scheme that you, the public, really have a say in. You can log on, register and vote for your favourites in each category, and your votes really do count. If you have a favourite food shop, food pub, restaurant or café then get busy and vote for it. If it’s already on there you can add your vote and if it’s not then you can nominate it – it’s as simple as that. And don’t just vote yourself, rally support and get your friends and family to join in. If you run a business in any of the categories, have you made sure that you have been nominated? Have you asked your customers to vote for you? It’s not cheating; you have to be in it to win it so make sure that you’re in with a chance by being a nominated business. Summer is truly a fabulous time for all things foodie! July was the month when hot dogs, ice cream and even the humble baked bean were celebrated nationally. Wednesday 25 July saw the start of National Salad Week closely followed by British Food Fortnight from Friday 27 July. But will any of these events help the leaders in the Brighton & Hove Foodie Awards, and who is on the current leaderboard? Terre à Terre in East Street has held on to first place in the Best Restaurant category. Food for Friends in Prince Albert Street has regained second place and the Chilli Pickle is back on the leaderboard and into third place. Leading the way in the Best Food Pub category is The Ginger Pig in Hove Street, the Basketmakers in Cheltenham Place has dropped back to third place and The Foragers in Stirling Place continues to battle for the lead from the number two spot. Never has a competition been so fiercely fought between local rivals, with fourth and fifth places rapidly closing in. Will it all change in the last two months of voting?

There’s no change in the Best Café category; last year’s winners Lydea in Kensington Gardens remain in first place, Moksha Caffe in York Place is still there in second and Mange Tout in Trafalgar Street maintains third place. But voting numbers for other city favourites are on the increase and it could be a very different picture next month! For Best Food Shop, Infinity Food is in first place, Boho Gelato in Pool Valley is in second place and the Brighton Sausage Company in Gloucester Street holds onto third place.

War on Hunger During September and October, top Brighton restaurants will participate in the UK’s leading foodie appeal, Love Food Give Food, by inviting their customers to take action against child hunger simply by eating out. Supported by a multitude of culinary luminaries including Raymond Blanc, Giorgio Locatelli, Valentine Warner and Marcus Wareing, Love Food Give Food, unites food lovers who are turning their passion for food into action to help malnourished children and their families worldwide. Joining hundreds of restaurants across the nation, top Brighton restaurants will be supporting Love Food Give Food by giving customers the opportunity to add a small donation to their bill or offering certain dishes where a percentage of the cost goes to Action Against Hunger. In response to the ongoing food crisis in East Africa, the aid agency has launched one of their biggest humanitarian responses to date, implementing life-saving programmes in Somalia, Ethiopia, Kenya and Djibouti. Customers will also have the fantastic chance to win 26 free


meals for two in top restaurants across the nation by collecting four stickers on their Love Food Give Food loyalty cards by eating out at participating restaurants between Saturday 1 September and Wednesday 31 October. Loyalty cards are available from participating restaurants and in the September edition of Delicious magazine. Food lovers and restaurants across the UK can also help raise funds by taking part in toptable and OpenTable’s bespoke Love Food Give Food festival created as part of Action Against Hunger’s Love Food Give Food appeal. Emma Cullingford, campaign manager at Action Against Hunger, said: “In 2010, food lovers, chefs, restaurants and cafés have helped raise over £170,000 in aid of our life-saving programmes worldwide. With the ongoing humanitarian crisis in the Horn of Africa, we’re encouraging all food lovers across the nation to help make this year’s Love Food Give Food appeal the biggest ever and raise crucial funds for our worldwide programmes.” To get involved, simply enjoy a great meal at participating restaurants and as a result help families feed their children in some of the world’s poorest countries.

“This is the third year we have run the Foodies and this year is quite unlike any other,” said Paula Seager, managing director of Natural PR, the Awards’ organisers. “It seems like the same names keep appearing but in fact fourth, fifth and even sixth places in each categories are so close to edging their way on to the leaderboard and able to spring some last minute surprises. “With two months to go until voting closes, our leaders should not yet feel safe and those taking part who have not yet seen their name on the leaderboard should know that the outcome is far from resolved. So if your favourite has not yet appeared, get involved and have your say, it could make a very big difference to next month’s positions.” I will be joining the lovely Andrea Fox on stage to host the awards ceremony which will take place in the Brighton and Hove Food & Drink Festival this September. This will be the third time that we have cohosted this prestigious event and it always proves to be a fun night out, with Andrea and I vying for the brightest outfit and fighting our way to get a crumb of food after the finalists have laid waste to what is always a sumptuous buffet of foods representing all of their businesses. Find out more and place your vote at – everyone has one vote per category. follow me on twitter

Have you voted yet?


026_027_LS588_reviewsbookings_Reviews 27/07/2012 14:42 Page 2



L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at


VOLCANO, Theatre Royal Brighton, 23 July 2012, ✪✪✪✪✪


here are times when it becomes completely apparent why a play by a famous author is seldom, if ever, performed. Volcano is one such play. Noel Coward’s Brief Encounter remains one of his best works, moving, sensitive and at the time controversial. Volcano, in comparison, was clumsy and cliched and despite the best efforts of most of the company, failed to engage on any level. Jenny Seagrove seemed uncomfortable in the role from the start. Maybe the effect she was looking for was reserve or restraint – but it came across as wooden and unemotional which is a shame, because the entire purpose of the play hangs around her character. Instead her flat performance, the lack of emotional engagement and the obsessive attention to minor business like sweeping up a broken glass, simply distracted from the already thin plot. Volcano is all a case of who’s sleeping with who, a sexual whodunnit in which the twist comes as no surprise. It may have been shocking back then, but now in our metrosexual world few would be shocked or care. The rest of the company managed to create a sense of time, Robin Sebastian was excellent and Finty Williams too. Jason Durr is certainly attractive as the sexual mercenary, but with a plot as lame as this there is little for him to go with it. The excellent set and lighting are worth a mention but as for the whole, the clunky parallel of the erupting volcano and the exploding intrigues of infidelity can be summed up by Ms Seagrove who, the night after the disaster, walks around the set with a cloth dusting the rattan furniture. Andrew Kay

upbeat voice; she’s always at pains to argue that while the words might be tragic, she herself isn’t, and in doing so manages not only to deflect any sense of self pity, but also comes across as the sort of person you’d want to meet in the bar holding court. An hour of cheerful misery. Caroline of Brunswick, 23 July 2012, ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Allen


The mainstay of this Edinburgh Fringe Preview show is the tedious onslaught of life’s continual disappointment, and whether or not any of us are truly equipped to survive living. It occasionally veers into dark, even morose material, but always in Roisin’s cheerfully


The Brooklyn-based trio’s first Brighton show introduced us to their folk sound, featuring some unusual instrumentation. The ’60s coffee shop numbers were given gravitas by the dramatic pairing of sinister cello and pounding drums. Their voices were made for each other and the combination of Jocelyn’s

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BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 27 glockenspiel and Emily’s pizzicato plucks had a charming, childlike feel. Jeremy Styles stood amongst the audience for a falsetto take on Sarah Siskind’s ‘Lovin’s For Fools’ with the others adding their voices from either side of the room to create an ethereal surround sound. The set ended vibrantly with ‘Hot Volcano’ – a frenzied jazzy polka. Green Door Store, 22 July 2012 ✪✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements

L7 Bookings On sale this week…

DONNY AND MARIE OSMOND LIVE! The Brighton Centre, 21 January 2013, £40-70, 01273 290131, Award-winning performers Donny and Marie will celebrate their 50 plus years in entertainment. Performing their unforgettable hits ‘One Bad Apple’, ‘Paper Roses’, ‘Love Me For a Reason’, and ‘Crazy Horses’. Expect a song and dance spectacular!


Despite the summer heat, the Nightingale Theatre came to life with a dynamic performance that blew everyone away. The concept of fusing dance and physical theatre is not an easy task, but Tanya Khabarova and Yael Karavan made it look easy as they portrayed the seven deadly sins in the form of a twisted game show with splendid lighting and music complementing the show. A little more daring moves and a couple more lighting effects would have made it perfect though. This Edinburgh preview was certainly worth seeing. The Nightingale Theatre, 25 July 2012 ✪✪✪✪✪ Sascha Cooper


Opener Serious Sam Barrett augmented his folk blues set with fellow support act, and Texan legend, Tim Kerr on harmonica and headliner Jamie on fiddle. This ensemble setup continued when Alabama’s Haints invited Tim and other friends to join them throughout their set of punkedup Americana. ‘Cool Clear Water’ was one of a number of Gene Vincent style rockabilly numbers while washtub bass player Matt was a wolverine lounge lizard on ‘Walkin’ Talkin’ Dead Man’. Old gospel numbers sat comfortably with TexMex death songs and everyone, including the merch minders, congregated in the crowd for a rousing acoustic finale. Prince Albert, 18 July 2012 ✪✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows?

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to

take on classic songs which have inspired him throughout his life, and now for his solo career he has free rein to record all of his favourites, including; ‘I Only Have Eyes For You’, ‘I’d Rather Go Blind’, and ‘That’s How Strong My Love Is’.


The Brighton Centre, 18 October 2012, £35, 01273 290131, Jack Black and Kyle Gass are set to bring their hilarious brand of comedy rock ‘n’ roll to Brighton, following their top ten album Rise Of The Fenix hitting the UK number two spot in May of this year.


Brighton Dome, Concert Hall, 20-29 December 2012 (excluding 24, 25 & 26 December) £15-27.50, Born from the creative minds behind internationally successful STOMP, The Lost and Found Orchestra is a truly stunning symphonic experience that sees everyday objects turned into a plethora of invented instruments. Using everything from musical saws and bottles to whirly toys, traffic cones and rope ladders to create a dazzling array of homemade instruments.



Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 15 April 2013, £35-50, 01273 709709, Join ex-Simply Red front man Mick Hucknall for a very special and intimate night where he showcases his forthcoming new album American Soul. Featuring his own

Eastbourne's Winter Garden, 4-6 October 2012, £5-9, /beer-festival The biggest beer festival in East Sussex has a range of over 150 real cask ales on tap, from quirky named brews to award winners, all of which have been chosen especially for the festival by local CAMRA members. There’s two live music stages and dancing, and visitors can take part in the array of pub games, from Bar Skittles to Shuffleboard. Tenacious D


Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 10

1 Give Her The Gun Equinox 2 Osaro And RJ Shut Up And Dance 3 Panos Christofi Sunshine 4 The Fadadoo Project Lost In A Crowd 5 Boa Marks Merchandised Eyes 6 Moonlighter Every Time I Fall 7 Coda Luna Folie a Deux 8 Drewvis Estoy Esperando 9 Maria Mcateer – Her Night At Noon Drink The Pain Away 10 Shoot The Dead NW1 There’s not been any change to the chart this week, with the top five still holding onto their places. We need a chart revolution, don’t forget that you hold the power over the chart, simply visit online and listen to the biggest and hottest bands from around town. You get to decide who should be number one. If you’re a musician or in a band then why not submit your own singles online and join the rest of the Brighton music scene. We’re still in the process of creating our new Music Video Chart and will want your band videos soon, so watch this space!

11 Tenek Submission – Radio Edit 12 Dannydangerously HARIBO 13 Black Nail God Damn You 14 Susi John – BFR A Love Song For Aung San Suu Kyi 15 The Last Cry Rebekka 16 Fireworks For Summer Building Fires In A Circle Around Her House 17 The Wolfgirl Liberation Tuesday 18 Sam Charles Jupiter 19 The Magik Word Break Free (Terrorvision) 20 Shoot the Dead Kill Machine Kill SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos


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L7 Previews

You are working with drag artistes, can you pull this off? “I have great concerns, concerns that they will turn up for rehearsals [laughs]. The author and I spoke about this and what they have to be is actors, and they have to take it seriously. There can be no audience participation which they are used to, but I have every confidence.”

STAGE: BIGGINS & THE BOYS IN THE BAND Dave Lynn and the UK’s top drag stars are playing it straight, well sort of, at the Theatre Royal Brighton, Christopher Biggins explains What brings you to The Boys In The Band ? “I have known the play for many years and Mart Crowley the playwright is a friend of mine. It came about because Dave Lynn, one of the drag artists who will be in the play, came up with the idea and took it to Kevin Wood the producer. In talking they came up with the idea of asking me. I have done a lot of directing over the years, so it just seemed a great opportunity to direct again, a play that I love and in Brighton, a place that I adore.”

Audiences may want to heckle? Will you have to instruct them not to? “I would never be so outrageous as to instruct an audience! The play runs in one piece for 80 minutes, then they have time for a drink before coming back to see the actors in their drag roles. They can heckle then.” So is it like an end of the pier summer show, but with savage teeth? “In a way, yes, I hope people who remember the play and the excellent film will come to see it again. It has so many wonderful and famous lines, lines like ‘who do you have to f*** to get a drink around here?’. Mart Crowley is undoubtedly one of the wittiest men I have ever known.” And is this one of the great gay plays of all time? “I think it is and recently that has been recognised. It has everything in it, great music, which they have to do things to. We gays love music; music is intertwined with our culture.” Yes, strung around bars and discos. “Absolutely, and then that was how and where you met people, when you were having a dance – unlike today.”

Would you have liked to be in it as well as direct it? “No! I’m far too old for any of the parts! They should be in their 30s and 40s, the drag queens will be thrilled when they hear I have said that.”

I am assuming you are not changing the period. “No, in no way, it is of its time and it must be, where would you take it to? It wouldn’t work, and we are keeping it in New York, too.”

It’s set in 1968, does it still have the same poignancy now as it had then? “The Menier Chocolate Factory have just done Torch Song Trilogy and people are saying it’s dated, which of course it is, but there is still an audience for it.”

I have spotted that you have gone for a recession busting ticket price. “What is the price? [laughs]” It’s a flat £20 for all seats, first come first served, including a drink. “Well I think we should be doing more of that, we want the theatre to be full every night and pricing it like this is a great way of making it accessible; £20, a drink and two shows, what a bargain!”

Surely it’s not dated but a period piece... “Absolutely, and of course it will be interesting for a young audience to see how gay men lived. Homosexuality has been through so many stages, it was taboo to be gay, then it was fashionable, all was going swimmingly, then along came AIDS and all gay men were murderers. It was a time-bomb of awful things happening. Being gay is fashionable again.” But at the same time there is something of a religious moral backlash. “Well I’m not sure that it’s the whole church, if the gay priests had to leave there would be no church. I know that people want to have gay weddings legalised, but I am not worried about that; we have civil partnerships which are brilliant, they do everything except the religion.There are many important things that we need to stop, bullying for instance, that is more important.” Does the play highlight that there are still inequalities? “If you come away thinking what a wonderful evening but that some of the issues are still out there then that is good. It’s a very funny play, the first act anyway, then the second act turns and my goodness it becomes a real horror. Michael wants to annihilate everyone in sight but ends with nothing, the saddest character on the stage. Dave Lynn will be fantastic in this role.”


Are you directing the second half of the show, the drag part? “No I’m not, but I will be taking a close interest as Dave does it.” You are obviously very excited about this. “Yes, very – and nervous too, but I am sure that with a good rehearsal period, which we have, we will make it great. Learning lines will be the tough part, I hate it, I always did.” When will we see you on stage again? “Oh, I’ve given up, I’m bored with the acting; been there, done that, got the t- shirt. I like doing odd bits but I’m happy now doing what I do.” The Boys in the Band – The Girls in the Band, Theatre Royal Brighton, Wed 22 – Fri 31 Aug (not Monday 27), 7.30pm plus Sunday at 2.30pm, £20 (includes a free drink), 0844 871 7650,

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LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 29 CLUBS: TRASH MONDAYS & JAILBAIT Trash are excited to announce a combined party effort with Jailbait, which will make – and break – your week. After years of respectful competition, Brighton's two biggest Monday club nights have come together. Playing a mix of Florence and the Machine, Kings of Leon, The White Stripes and Estelle. Coalition, Mon 6 Aug, 10pm–late, £5–3 CLUBS: FRIDAZED DJ Claire Fuller plays a funked up mix of chart and retro tracks in Legends bar before DJ Peter Castle plays the best of dance and pop classics down in the basement. Legends Bar and Basement Club, Fri 3 Aug, 8pm–4am, free MUSIC: LAURA VANE & THE VIPERTONES Outstanding funk and soul singer who has sung with the likes of Gnarls Barkley and The Streets. But with her largely Dutch band, The Vipertones she really lets rip; their powerhouse vintage funk grooves and Motown beats are the perfect foil for her voice. Komedia, Wed 1 Aug, 7.30pm, £8

MUSIC: ONDATROPICA A remarkable group of mostly Colombian musicians gathered in the historic studios of Discos Fuentes, with a plan to “re-interpret the tropical musical heritage of Colombia.” The idea was conceived by bandleader Mario Galeano and English producer and former Brighton resident Will Holland, who assembled a 42-strong cast from the veteran pianist Juancho Vargas to young hiphop stars. There's everything here from cumbia dance music to salsa, the Afro-Caribbean rhythms of gaita, ska, hip-hop, dub and funk. Concorde 2, Wed 1 Aug,, 7.30pm, £17.50 MUSIC: COMMON TONGUES + HOUSE OF HATS + THE STANDARD LAMPS Excellent line up of Brighton based indie folk. The Common Tongues bring gravitas to the folk scene with expansive instrumentation, cinematic arrangement and fivepart harmonies, while House of Hats also excel at harmonies. New kids on the block The Standard Lamps are also one to watch. The Brunswick, Sat 4 Aug, 8pm, £5



MUSIC: THE TIME & SPACE MACHINE Veteran dance musician Richard Norris takes you to a more psychedelic place and time


he brainchild of Lewesbased Richard Norris, The Time & Space Machine follows in a long line of leftfield dance acts that he’s been associated with, including seminal early ‘90s dance outfit The Grid who he formed with Soft Cell’s Dave Ball, enjoying a number of hits including ‘Crystal Clear’, ‘Diablo’ and the hugely successful ‘Swamp Thing’, which made number three in the UK. Ball and Norris decided to pursue other avenues in the mid-90s with Norris forming The Droyds and remixing the likes of Armand van Helden, while Ball reformed Soft Cell with Marc Almond. They briefly got together again in 2005 and released the Doppelganger album, which failed to make any commercial impact. Forever having different projects on the go, Norris also set up The Time & Space Machine. “I started the Time & Space Machine as an extension of the edits and remixes I was doing with Erol Alkan as Beyond the Wizard’s Sleeve. We’d done four mini albums of psychedelic edits, and remixed a number of artists including Midlake, Franz Ferdinand, Goldfrapp and the Chemical Brothers, but put the project on hold a couple of years ago. I wanted to continue in a more live set up, so started making tracks initially with just a drummer, Wildcat Will, then adding everything else myself over the top. This has now morphed into a five piece live band, featuring Craig Warnock, Richie Crago, Craig Mathewson. It’s a drums, guitars, bass, Farfisa, Space Echo and Korg MS10 set up, with harmony vocals and backwards noises.” The Time & Space Machine has seen Norris back on the road, “We are playing a bunch of festivals and gigs, and having a’s satisfying to hear tracks that took shape in the studio turning into fully fledged nine minute psychedelic monsters. We’re finding our own sound, developing it, and we’ll record it for the next album.” While The Grid incorporated instruments such as a banjo within their sound (on ‘Swamp Thing’) The Time & Space Machine is more psychedelic in its sound, as heard on their recent Taste the Lazer album. “I’m inspired by the eastern feel in psychedelic records. Plus there’s my Sitar Machine that I bought in Kerala.” His love of psychedelia extends to him organising the annual Lewes Psychedelic Festival (Zu Studios, 6 October). “That’s when all the freaks come out!” The Haunt, Friday 3 August, 7pm, £5 follow me on twitter


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30 LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS COMEDY: GIGGLESTOCK Friendly, fun and in the centre of town, this cheap and cheerful comedy night welcomes all and delivers a delightful selection of seven comics collected from the South East for their funnies and frolics. A great way to spend a Friday night. The Loft, Fri 3 Aug, 8pm, £3

Get your skates on and roll up to Brighton’s favourite seafront skate event this summer


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EVENTS: CROQUET ON THE LAWN Play croquet Alice in Wonderlandstyle, with flamingos for mallets and playing cards for hoops. Collect and return your equipment at Preston Manor front door, ticket prices are for a one-hour slot and all ages are welcome. Preston Manor, ongoing until Friday 31 Aug, 10am–4pm Tuesdays and Saturdays, 2–4pm Sundays, £10 EVENTS: JAMAICA CELEBRATION Come and celebrate the Jamaican 50th anniversary of independence in true style, with a delicious menu of authentic food – jerk chicken, curry, rice and peas, and macaroni pie. There's lots of party music, from reggae to dancehall vibes, and raffle prizes with plenty to be won. Green Door Store, Sun 5 Aug, 8am–10pm, free


katefresh Brighton is having a 13th birthday party, and everyone is invited. The summer skate season is rolling along nicely and Skatefresh is planning one of the season's favourite outdoor events. Members of the skating club, which is based in both London and Brighton, will gather to catch up, lunch and demonstrate skills. The party is open to anyone and everyone who enjoys the company of other skaters. The fun kicks off from 1pm on Brighton's magnificent seafront at Hove Lawns, in front of Hove Café. This will be the perfect chance to meet other fellow skaters before embarking on a street skate from 4pm along the seafront. BrightonSkate crew will be there and enjoying the action too. After the street skate, when the sun begins to go down, skaters are to head back to the West Pier for a roller disco, where SkateDance will share even more of their skills. No matter what level, whether you're on quads or in-lines, and no matter if you're fairly new to moving on four wheels or if you go to sleep with them on your feet – the event is for all abilities. The day is a great chance to learn from one another, celebrate the vibrant skate scene, and to try and master some new moves. Bring your own food and drink and Skatefresh will provide the music. Outside Hove Café, Hove Lawns, Sat 11 August, 1pm, free

off proceedings with a seasoned secret headline act at the end of the evening. The Alibi, Fri 3 Aug, 8.30pm, £4/3

Zoe Lyons

COMEDY: BENT DOUBLE Fabulous comedy from the mirthinspiring and always brilliant Zoe Lyons, hosting an evening of gayfriendly and straight-friendly comedy. Headliner this month is Hannah Gadsby, promising delightful wordplay and heart-breakingly funny, self-deprecating observations that have delighted audiences all over the world. Plus some fabulous hand-picked support acts. Komedia, Sun 5 Aug, 7.30pm, £10.50/8.50

EVENTS: PEPPA PIG AND GEORGE Join in the excitement and snorts of laughter as the loveable Peppa Pig embarks on a Drusillas Park adventure, with her brother George. The cheeky pair will be making appearances at various intervals throughout the day. Drusillas Park, Alfriston, Wed 1 Aug, 10am–5pm,

COMEDY: COMEDY COOLER NEWBIE NIGHT Want to see some of the brightest young things at one of their earliest gigs in their careers? 12 comics on one night, each fresh face has a chance to exercise their funny muscles at you with their first five minute set. Plus, rounding

Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

028_031_LS588_previews_editorial 27/07/2012 12:39 Page 5 Tom Hammick ‘Cabin’

Maggie Claringbould


ART: DAVID NICHOLLS Trained at the Ruskin School of Fine Art in Oxford, sculptor David Ruskin subsequently spent 19 years working as an artist for Oxford University Museum of Natural History. Producing mainly small scale sculpture in low relief, this exhibition consists of his small scale sculptural work and some of the preparatory drawings, along with a looped video showing time-lapse sequences of the artist at work. David Nicholls, Jubilee Library, Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 290 800. Until 14 Aug ART: BILL BATE Painter Bill Bate will be showing atmospheric works which focus on the human form. He'll be exhibiting

alongside local painter Christina Fedyk and sculptor Alan Williams. Bill Bate, Naked Eye Gallery, 5 Farm Mews, Farm Road, Hove, 01273 204 800, until 31 Aug

FILM: DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: DOG DAYS (U) Dir: David Bowers The popular series returns just in time for the summer holidays. Yay! Greg is having his usual difficulties with the world and its inhabitants, and when his own plans for the long hot vacation go awry what will he do? Probably something that’ll rile his big bro. Released Fri 3 Aug Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

FILM: TED (15) Director: Seth MacFarlane


rom the old adage: be careful what you wish for, you might just get it – comes this brand new comedy from the makers of Family Guy. Mix that history with this certificate and you can be sure there will be some adult humour, but at a very childish level, along with the general story which starts with John as a child and his best friend – his teddy bear. You know when you wished your teddy bear was alive? You probably didn’t think that if that particular dream came true he’d still be by your side well into adulthood and proving a bit of a stumbling block with the drop dead gorgeous girlfriend you’ve jammily got. Oops. Yes, Ted was a bit of a celebrity when he first appeared on the scene but now, like his 35-year-old roomie, he’s living in the sunshine of past glories, watching too much Flash Gordon and getting stoned. He’s that kind of teddy. Starring Mark Wahlberg as John, Mila Kunis as long-suffering girlfriend Lori and Seth MacFarlane (you, know, actor, director and writer of this and Family Guy) providing the voice of the furry, mischief-loving gooseberry, Ted, this off-the-wall flick is already being called a return to form for the anarchic MacFarlane. Released Friday 3 August Showing at Duke Of York’s Picturehouse, Odeon and Cineworld

For full details of film times:



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OR £3.50 social dancing only/£3

sun 5

tbc please see website for details

fri 3

wed 1 aug

8pm £10

tango boot camp

cabaret bar: private party

musicians of all abilities are welcome to join in the fun and either replace or play alongside a band member. 8pm free!

tues 31 july

battle of the bands

argentine tango with tangobootcamp 8–9.30pm £8/£5

cafe bar: swingalicious

sat 4

private party

bark like a dog blues jam

034_LS588_stars-TV column_024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 26/07/2012 13:32 Page 2



STARS With Val Aviv

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

If you’ve neglected to have a fun time, rather than just a busy time, this Full Moon will remind you that it’s never too late to drop your guard, let off steam with friends and enjoy yourself. By dropping the tension and kicking back, creativity can soar.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

Most of you with Saturn in your working house are finding it difficult to get work. For those of you with big responsibilities within the work place, you may find that a new urgency is surfacing, and in turn this seems to feel like added pressure.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

How lucky are you? Everyone thinks it’s luck, but really your success is down to your own initiative, imagination and optimism. Believing in your own abilities pays dividends and you’re actually about to take another leap forward!

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

The Full Moon gives you a chance to look deeper into relationships surrounding shared resources. It’s as if a guardian angel is helping to smooth over old wounds and help you move forwards. You may become aware of that which it is okay to let go of now.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

Being you is amazing! Although no-one can really share in that wonder, others can and will enjoy you being in their lives. The Full Moon is in your opposite sign so partnerships are getting the once over and emotions may surface which will want your attention.

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

You may be experiencing a lull in your vitality. This is common in the month leading up to your birthday. You have a lot going on and all that you want to happen will happen soon. Take a rest, relax and know that everything has its right moment.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

While it’s not in your nature to be macho, competitive or ruthless, with both the zodiacs toughest planets in your sign it will be harder not to feel sharper, feistier and less malleable. The Full Moon insists you do what makes you happy.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

You have been avoiding your own space, or have been forced to face yourself without the company of others. While it is a testing time, it is as much enriching. Publicly you are getting recognition. Going against the grain will make you stand out.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

The time you have given yourself for the pursuit of knowledge has given you an extra dimension of insight, which will make you a great teacher. You’re really appreciated for your strengths right now. Time is precious, so do more of what you love.

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Through making the most of time at home, you can investigate hidden knowledge or occult sciences. While that may challenge some of your previously held views about yourself, it will ultimately have a liberating effect. Feel free to escape.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

The full moon is in your sign which will help you reflect on your feelings in relation to a significant partnership. A partnership is up for review while Mercury continues to retrograde, the outcome will be a happy one, once some minor changes have been integrated.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

It’s strangely a hard working time, but an enjoyable one as well! You like to be of service and can be proud of all your achievements in this field during this period. The full moon will ask that you give time for your personal dreams to flourish as well as taking care of others. Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at:

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 831 JULY – 6 AUGUST The first series split the critics, but I liked it. It was three episodes and this is made up of six. My difficulty with this is that Toby Stephens is no longer too outlandish. He’s still a bit of an ass, but there are no truly cringey moments of real dislike. Maybe With Victoria Nangle the other critics made an impact on this, softened his edges, but the harsher side of comedy characters is what makes British writing so much fun and what always gets lambasted when being ‘adapted’ for the US market. I didn’t think we really had to do it here too. My second issue is that his new partner, played by the lovely Miranda Raison, is not down-to-earth enough. She’s a bit uptight, a workaholic, yet still silly enough to send up the hard sell Stephens gets from a particularly predatory car saleswoman, with t’s the difficult second series. Vexed series one lewd gestures and suggestive faces behind the starred Toby Stephens and Lucy Punch as cheese vixen’s back. What’s the point of the eccentricities if and actual copper partner (not chalk) in a there’s no-one there tapping their long-suffering toe collection of comedy crime capers. He was an ass, a patiently and looking to the sky in exasperation? fool and a misogynistic pain-inThe power of the straight man the-neck who had infuriated away (or woman) is not to be every partner he’d ever had. He underestimated. It’s more than just “His new partner a tradition, it’s a method to get the hadn’t set foot in the actual nick in years (creating a useful device most out of a pairing and the is not down-tofor all the police work to actually material they can share. Just A be discussed in a bar cum coffee Minute would be nothing without earth enough” house rather than an expensive Nicholas Parsons and Sesame cop shop set) and had all the tact Street’s Ernie without Bert would of a bull in a china shop who was be plain annoying and tedious. The also trying to do a three-legged race tied to another loss of Lucy Punch’s actual police person, dragging equally mal-coordinated bull. And she was a regular Stephens out of scrapes and allowing him the pretty good copper who just wanted to do her job opportunity to shine, pleased as Punch, should he and coped with him as best she could. crack the case himself, is felt in this season opener. Wittily written and with sparks flying from these Yes, it’s been tweaked but it’s still fun, just not above par lead actors, their contrast worked. He quite as brilliantly obnoxious. But it might raise itself was a bit loopy but meant well, in a drunk uncle to those heights yet. Supporting characters CSI Naz kind of way, and she was the long-suffering and barkeep Tony have the potential to bring in that partner who had her head screwed on right. Now ‘straight-man’ perspective that’s such an asset in Lucy Punch has left and been replaced by Miranda highlighting the comedy of the situation. We’ve got Raison (Spooks and Merlin), taking on the role of five more episodes to find out. Fingers crossed. earthing Toby Stephens’ ridiculous live wire. Vexed, BBC2, Wednesday 1 August 2012 Except she doesn’t. She’s a bit more a chalk to his follow me on twitter latestvicky milder cheese. Hmm.

Telly Talk

Not quite as vexed I

035_LS588_TV_tue_L7wed14apr.qxd 26/07/2012 13:37 Page 1

tuesday 31 Beauty And The Beast: Ugly Face Of Prejudice Channel 4, 8pm A curious choice of title for a show supposedly challenging attitudes towards appearance. This episode sees Simon, who has a condition that prevented his lower jaw forming properly, meet Corinne who spends around £3,000 a month on beauty treatments. Challenging indeed.

Lost Children Channel 4, 10pm This two-part documentary follows some of the troubled pupils at High Close School in Berkshire, that takes children with behavioural problems who have been excluded from mainstream school. Much of their anger masks deep familial issues that stretch back generations, but can they be helped?

Wallander: Sidetracked Part 1 BBC4, 12am Kurt Wallander must be wondering why these things keep happening to him. If it’s not his neighbour putting an old corpse in his garden to find, it’s a girl burning herself right in front of him. There’s also a few murders that involve scalpings to contend with. All revealed in part two.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 11.30 Olympics 2012 1.15pm BBC News At One 1.45 South East Today 2.00 Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Olympics 2012 The swimming competition reaches the halfway stage, with four more finals. Is Michael Phelps shaping up to be the star of the Games, or will that honour go elsewhere? Meanwhile, it is a big night for Britain’s women footballers, with a place in the quarter-finals at stake in their final preliminary match. Swimming events: 7.30 Men’s 100m freestyle semi-final 1. 7.39 Women’s 200m freestyle final. 7.47 Men’s 200m butterfly final. 7.55 Women’s 200m butterfly semi-final 1. 8.17 Men’s 200m breaststroke semi-final 1. 8.39 Women’s 200m individual medley final. 8.47 Men’s 4 x 200m freestyle relay final. Sharron Davies, Andy Jameson and Adrian Moorhouse provide commentary. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.40 Olympics Tonight A look at the day’s big Olympic stories. By the time midnight comes, the last of the sport will be over for the day and another 15 medals will have been won. Competitors from Britain and around the world dominate the headlines, and there is a lot for Gabby Logan and her guests to chew over. 12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00am – 6.50am Children’s television 6.50 Rastamouse 7.05 Deadly 60 7.30 Horrible Histories 8.00 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.25 Tree Fu Tom 8.45 Justin’s House 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm Bargain Hunt 1.15 Olympics 2012 2.00 Flog It! 3.00 Ultimate Sports Day 3.30 Copycats 4.00 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.30 Serious Explorers: Livingstone 5.00 Newsround 5.05 Shaun The Sheep 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Olympics 2012 Action on Day 4 with the Tennis continuing at Wimbledon and Britain’s Men’s Basketball team playing Brazil. 7.00 Helicopter Rescue Sea King helicopters are deployed to assist in the rescue of a daredevil kayaker in trouble in the Neath valley and an injured climber on a notorious Snowdonia ridge. 7.30 EastEnders Lucy makes a decision about the cafe after a series of disasters threaten to derail her businesses. 8.00 Holby City When Tara seeks to impress Jac and gain her backing for a research project, Jac passes her along to Ollie. With the situation still awkward, Tara and Ollie agree to keep things professional, but can they continue to ignore their feelings? 9.00 The Midwives: Delivering Under Pressure The Midwives: Delivering Under Pressure. 10.00 Olympics 2012 There’s still two hours of world class competition left to enjoy of the Olympics. 10.40 Newsnight Investigation and analysis with Kirsty Wark. 11.30 The Super League Show Damian Johnson introduces action and analysis from Super League XVII. 12.15am Word Up! Black American Pop At The BBC 1.15 Sign Zone: Indian Ocean With Simon Reeve 2.15 Alex Polizzi – The Fixer 3.15 Britain’s Heritage Heroes


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Will And Grace 8.20 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.50 Frasier 9.20 Come Dine With Me 9.55 Come Dine With Me 10.25 Come Dine With Me 10.55 Come Dine With Me 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 1.00 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 1.35 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News: Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Moira is disturbed by her attraction to Alex and Charity cooks up a plan with Rishi as the Kings struggle. 7.30 Trash To Treasure Paul’s entrepreneurial spirit is frustrated by the number of people who turn up wanting to sell rather than buy. When manager Dale buys two stone fonts from the back of a customer’s van for £350 Paul is not impressed. 8.00 Love Your Garden Alan Titchmarsh and the team are at the Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice in South Yorkshire. Alan sets to work to create a garden of tranquillity in its surrounding ground, he visits Lathkill Dale in the Peaks to get some inspiration and David Dodd and his team emulate the riverbed of Lathkill. 9.00 Benidorm When Madge’s estranged daughter Valda arrives at The Solana, Madge is convinced that she is after Mel’s money. 10.00 ITV News At Ten: Weather 10.35 FILM: The Fugitive (1993) Dr Richard Kimble fails to persuade the court of his innocence, but a freak train crash on the way to prison enables him to escape. Starring Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones, Joe Pantoliano, and Julianne Moore 1.00am Jackpot247 3.00 Goldenballs 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Mr Burns hires Homer to run production of his new fortune cookies. 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes is finally getting closer to Riley, but does Dr Browning offer a more exciting and thrilling alternative? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Beauty And The Beast: Ugly Face Of Prejudice See highlights. 9.00 Secrets Of The Shoplifters Store detectives and shoplifters are equally determined to outwit each other. It’s a surreal world of cat and mouse – detectives scour Facebook while lifters use a plethora of complex tricks to try to disable those seemingly unmovable tags. 10.00 Lost Children See highlights. 11.05 Random Acts 11.10 Thelma’s Gypsy Girls . Thelma puts her neck on the line for a suspended trouble maker by inviting her to stay in her own home and pressure mounts for the team when tragedy hits Grace’s family. 12.15am Caribbean Adventure 1.15 Road To London 2012: Paralympics Extra 1.40 KOTV Boxing 2.10 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 2.35 FIVB World Beach Volleyball Championship 3.30 Mobil 1 The Grid 4.25 Ironman 2012 4.50 Road To London 2012: That Paralympic Show 5.15 Deal Or No Deal: Gold Medal Deal

Channel Five

6.00am – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Igam Ogam 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Traders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Extraordinary Dogs 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Mentalist 3.15 FILM: A Place Called Home (2004) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life The team want to bring a seriously overweight orangutan to the UK, but it is harder than they hoped. 6.30 5 News 7.00 The Hotel Inspector Awardwinning hotelier Alex Polizzi is asked to inject some Northern Soul into a struggling Wigan hotel, run by a 24year-old former burger-van operator. 8.00 Half Built House Sian Astley visits Birmingham to help a recently married couple whose building woes are forcing them further into debt. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The CSI team try to keep a vicious convicted criminal behind bars after it emerges that his case was handled by a corrupt cop. 10.00 Big Brother Catch up on the latest events inside the Big Brother house with highlights of all the action, arguments, friendships and conversations in the diary room. 11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round-up of Big Brother-related news and debate, with special guests and behind the scenes treats. 12.00am Banged Up Abroad The story of Chris Parnell, who spent 11 years in a prison nightmare when he was locked up in Indonesia after being wrongly convicted of smuggling hashish. 12.55 SuperCasino 3.55 Great Scientists 4.20 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2) 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Super League 10.30 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 11.30 Elite League Speedway 2.00pm NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 3.00 Super League 4.30 LIVE CB40 Cricket 10.00 Sky Sports News At Ten 10.30 Sporting Greats 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football Asia 1.30 Football’s Greatest 2.00 Golf: European Challenge Tour 3.00 Formula 2 Championship 4.00 The Premiership Years

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: Afterburn 8.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Golfing World 11.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 1.00pm PGA Tour Classic 2.00 European Tour Golf 3.00 Elite League Speedway 5.30 Thrillseekers 6.00 Golf: European Challenge Tour 7.00 Football Asia 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Poker 12.00am Super League Backchat 12.30 Formula 2 Championship 1.30 Super League Backchat 2.00 Poker 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.00am The Premiership Years 10.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Super League 1.30 Thrillseekers 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 Golf - Sir Bobby Robson Golf Classic 9.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2012 9.30 Formula 2 Championship 10.30 Super League Backchat 11.00 Golf: European Challenge Tour 12.00am Golf - Sir Bobby Robson Golf Classic 2.00 Bass Fishing 3.00 Close

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








2.00pm Got To Dance - The Warm Up 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 The Angel 9.00 Trollied 9.30 A League Of Their Own 10.00 FILM: Rapid Fire (1992) 11.50 UK Border Force (x2) 1.50am Road Wars

7.00am Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Companions 8.00 Total Wipeout 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 EastEnders 11.30 Can Anyone Beat Bolt? 12.30am Family Guy (x2) 1.15 American Dad! (x2) 2.00 Wilfred (x7) 4.30 Stop My Stutter

7.00pm BBC World News London Live 7.30 Talking Landscapes 8.00 Venice 24/7 (x2) 9.00 Secret Life Of The Motorway 10.00 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture 11.00 Old Jews Telling Jokes 11.30 Old Jews Telling Jokes 12.00am Wallander: Sidetracked Part 1 1.25 Venice 24/7 (x2)

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 The Real Housewives Of New York City 5.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 6.30 Beat TV 7.00 America’s Got Talent 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 FILM: Batman And Robin (1997) 12.30am FILM: The Jacket (2005)

1.10pm Heartbeat 2.15 The Darling Buds Of May 3.20 Monk 4.20 Perspectives: Hugh Laurie - Down By The River 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 11.10 Canterbury Tales 12.20am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.20 Terry And June (x2)

5.00pm How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 New Girl 9.30 Suburgatory 10.00 The Midnight Beast 10.30 The Cleveland Show 11.00 The Ricky Gervais Show 11.35 Facejacker 12.05am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

11.10am FILM: Escape To Athena (1979) 1.25pm Time Team 2.30 Time Team USA 3.35 4 Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Coppers 11.05 My Transsexual Summer 12.10am Come Dine With Me 1.15 Coppers

11.00am Pony Express (1953) 1.05pm Bhowani Junction (1956) 3.15 King Of Kings (1961) 6.25 The Great Debaters (2007) 9.00 P.S. I Love You (2007) 11.25 The Omen (1976) 1.35am Eddie Murphy Raw (1987) 3.30 Close

Every night is a Saturday night in Brighton ALL your listings at

S Ju 6. Sp pr pa w Sp re lo an 8. Sp pr pa w W Rh Su sc a Ju Se co th In Sp La th 2. Th co th In W Be Le se th Ju De Gr m

036_LS588_TV_wed_L7wed14apr.qxd 26/07/2012 14:20 Page 1

wednesday 1 24 Hours In A&E Channel 4, 9pm There is a strange fascination with this show as it opens up the chaotic beauty of Kings College Hospital in South London. Filmed around the clock over a 45-day period we are given a small glimpse into the heart warming, and rending, stories that the patients, their families and staff go through everyday.

2 Broke Girls Channel 4, 11.10 & 11.40pm Here’s a double bill of the US sitcom about a couple of waitresses in their 20s – sound familiar? From the creator of Sex In The City, the show has widely been criticised for its stereotypical depiction of the girls’ AsianAmerican boss. Also there’s some bad sex jokes. Have a look and decide for yourself.

The Two-Thousand-Year-Old Computer BBC4, 11pm This tells the little known story of the 1901 discovery by a group of divers excavating a Roman shipwreck off the southern coast of Greece, of a mental object about the size of a laptop that was used to try and predict solar eclipses. It is now regarded to be the world’s oldest computer.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 11.30 Olympics 2012 1.00pm BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Olympics 2012 Gary Lineker and Clare Balding present coverage from the Olympics, where once again the focus is on the Aquatics Centre. Much is expected of Britain’s Ellen Gandy, world silver medallist in the women’s 200m butterfly final. Plus regular reports on Britain’s final men’s preliminary football match, taking place at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff. Swimming events: 7.30 Men’s 200m breaststroke final. 7.38 Women’s 100m freestyle semi-finals. 7.47 Men’s 200m backstroke semi-finals. 8.09 Women’s 200m butterfly final. 8.17 Men’s 100m freestyle final. 8.24 Women’s 200m breaststroke semifinals. 8.36 Men’s 200m individual medley semi-finals. 8.57 Women’s 4 x 200m freestyle relay final. With commentary by Andy Jameson, Adrian Moorhouse and Sharron Davies. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.40 Olympics Tonight On the busiest day of the Games so far, with 20 gold medals awarded, Gabby Logan takes a look back at some of the story makers in the company of leading figures. Plus news and action from the sports still going on. 12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00am – 6.50am Children’s television 6.50 Rastamouse 7.05 Deadly 60 7.30 Horrible Histories 8.00 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.25 Tree Fu Tom 8.45 Justin’s House 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 Olympics 2012 1.45 Escape To The Country 2.15 Flog It! 3.00 Ultimate Sports Day 3.30 Copycats 4.00 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.30 12 Again 5.00 Newsround 5.05 Shaun The Sheep 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Olympics 2012 Action from the Games on day five of competition. 7.00 Coast The Bafta winning Coast ventures out to brand new territory, the astonishing man-made shoreline of the Netherlands. Nick Crane explores how Dutch engineers created massive coastal defences like no others on earth following the great North Sea flood in 1953. Nick also discovers how traitors from the British Indian Army aided the Nazi occupation of the tiny isle of Texel. 8.00 Restoration Home Caroline Quentin presents a series following the renovation of historic houses as, three generations of the same family tackle the renovation of The Elms. 9.00 Vexed Jack and Kate, bright, fun, attractive police detectives, have very different approaches to the job and life in general. In fact they disagree on everything. 10.00 Olympics 2012 There are still six sports in progress, some 13 plus hours after competition started today. 10.40 Newsnight Investigation and analysis with Kirsty Wark. 11.30 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 11.35 The Midwives: Delivering Under Pressure Inside St Mary’s Hospital in Manchester, one of the busiest maternity units in the country. 12.35am Sign Zone: DIY SOS 1.35 Sign Zone: Alex Polizzi – The Fixer 2.35 Food Factory


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News: Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Amy is stunned to learn her mum is gravely ill in hospital. Moira tries to clear the air with Alex. Charity sets the wheels in motion to shaft the Kings. 7.30 The Lakes This episode sees one of Britain’s biggest open water swimming events, The Great North Swim, facing trouble as thick early morning fog descends on the Lake District. Plus we see the dogs trained to help in search and rescue operations and a couple return to the scene of their first romantic weekend away 18 years ago in order to get married. 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot Poirot arrives in Dover to help Lieutenant Colin Race determine if Sheila Webb is responsible for the murder of a middle-aged man found stabbed. Could there be a connection with the recent discovery of a German mole within the Navy? 10.00 ITV News At Ten: Weather 10.35 FILM: Deep Blue Sea (1999) Adventure story about a team of scientists who find themselves at the mercy of genetically modified sharks. Starring Samuel L Jackson, Aida Turturro, Michael Rapaport, Stellan Skarsgard and LL Cool J. 12.25am Jackpot247 3.00 FILM: Before Sunset (2004) 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 According To Jim 7.50 Will And Grace 8.20 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.50 Frasier 9.20 Come Dine With Me 9.55 Come Dine With Me 10.25 Come Dine With Me 10.55 Come Dine With Me 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 1.05 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 1.35 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons The Simpsons are menaced by an automated house. 6.30 Hollyoaks Will finally admits his feelings for Ash when he receives some life-changing news, but he maybe too late. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 SuperScrimpers Mrs Moneypenny shows how to save on pets and cars. Harry Wallop tries to help a group of friends whose holiday turned into a nightmare. 9.00 24 Hours In A&E See highlights. 10.00 Secrets Of The Shoplifters Revealing the cunning tactics employed by shops and robbers. It’s a surreal world of cat and mouse – detectives scour Facebook as lifters use complex tricks to try to disable those seemingly unmovable tags. 11.05 Random Acts 11.10 2 Broke Girls (x2) See highlights. 12.10am New Girl Jess discovers that Schmidt’s phobia of germs is leading him to do all the housework. 12.40 Summer Daze With Blackberry 1.05 MUSIC ON 4: Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions: Ben Howard 1.15 MUSIC ON 4: Ibiza Rocks: Kasabian 1.30 MUSIC ON 4: Spotlight: Ones To Watch 1.45 FILM: Fade To Black (2004) 3.35 The Dish 3.45 St Elsewhere 4.30 Countdown Special 5.15 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00am – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Igam Ogam 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Traders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Extraordinary Dogs 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Mentalist 3.15 FILM: Lies And Deception (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life Series about Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. In South Africa, the team struggle to transport overweight orangutan Oshine. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads Documentary series. The rookies, Tim and Tino, are up to their axles in trouble trying to get to their pick-up point, but some canny teamwork gets them back on the road. 8.00 Britain’s Strangest Pets Janey’s 17-stone ‘micro-pig’ has a zebra-striped bed, pink-painted trotters, daily massages and a luxury diet. Oh dear. 9.00 Big Brother: The White Room Catch up on the latest events inside the Big Brother house with exclusive highlights, action and arguments. 10.30 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side: White Room Live As-ithappens footage of the housemates as they face sensory deprivation within a specially built white room. 11.30 FILM: Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach (1988) The incompetent cop capers continue, this time in Miami, where Commandant Lassard is due to receive the award for Policeman of the Decade. 1.15am SuperCasino 4.00 Great Scientists 4.25 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2) 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 PGA EuroPro Tour Golf 11.00 Golf: European Challenge Tour 12.00pm Golf: Challenge Series 2012 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 Sporting Greats 2.00 Football Asia 2.30 Golf: Challenge Series 2012 3.00 Golf: European Challenge Tour 4.00 LIVE CB40 Cricket 10.00 Sky Sports News At Ten 10.30 Total Rugby 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Boots ‘n’ All 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 Total Rugby 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 Trans World Sport

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 Sir Bobby Robson Golf Classic 9.00 P1 Superstock Powerboats 9.30 Super League Backchat 10.00 Formula 2 Championship 11.00 Bass Fishing 12.00pm P1 Superstock Powerboats 12.30 Sir Bobby Robson Golf Classic 2.30 Super League Backchat 3.00 Formula 2 Championship 4.00 Bass Fishing 5.00 Total Rugby 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Inside The PGA Tour 7.30 European Tour Weekly 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Total Rugby 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 World Cup Of Pool 12.00am PGA EuroPro Tour Golf 2.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Bass Fishing 8.00 The Premiership Years 10.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Bass Fishing 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE: Afterburn 7.00 Mowlem’s Racing Travels 8.00 PGA EuroPro Tour Golf 10.00 Cage Fighter 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 Cage Fighter 12.00am FIBA World Basketball 12.30 Watersports World 1.30 Total Rugby 2.00 Close Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








1.00pm Got To Dance: Auditions (x3) 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 9.00 Spy 9.30 The Cafe 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 11.00 Cop Squad 12.00am UK Border Force (x2)

7.00am Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Enemies 8.00 Total Wipeout 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 American Dad! (x2) 1.30 FILM: Highlander: Endgame (2000) 3.05 The Bad Boy Olympian

7.00pm BBC World News London Live 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1977 8.00 Tetris: From Russia With Love 9.00 A History Of Art In Three Colours 10.00 City Beneath The Waves: Pavlopetri 11.00 The Two-Thousand-Year-Old Computer 12.00am Borgen 1.00 Top Of The Pops: 1977 1.30 Tetris: From Russia With Love

4.40pm Real Housewives Of New York City 5.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 6.30 Beat TV 7.00 The Cube 8.00 America’s Got Talent: Results 9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Jason Donovan 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.45 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 12.40am The Only Way Is Essex

11.05am Murder, She Wrote (x2) 1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 The Darling Buds Of May 3.15 Monk 4.15 Fisherman’s Friends 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 FILM: Arthur (1981) 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.10am Monk 1.05 Terry And June (x2) 2.05 ITV Nightscreen

3.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 4.00 Glee 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: XMen (2000) 10.00 Celebrity Bedlam 10.30 Rude Tube: Mashed ‘n’ Mixed 11.35 The IT Crowd 12.05am Little Box Of Horrors

11.50am FILM: Gun Fury (1953) 1.25pm Time Team 2.30 Time Team Special 3.35 4 Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 One Born Every Minute 11.05 Embarrassing Bodies 12.10am The Secret Millionaire

11.00am The Big Trees (1952) 12.45pm A Walk In The Clouds (1995) 2.45 Damn The Defiant! (1962) 4.45 Ponyo (2008) 6.50 Entrapment (1999) 9.00 Alien Resurrection (1997) 11.05 Damien: Omen II (1978) 1.10am Home (2008) 3.10 Close



Brighton Lights 40

Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Fatboy Slim! Did we forget? Fatboy Slim!

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037_LS588_TV_Thu_L7wed14apr.qxd 26/07/2012 14:32 Page 1

thursday 2 The Churchills Channel 4, 8pm David Starkey sometimes courts controversy when speaking about modern politics, but when it comes to the past there are few to match. Here he looks at how Winston Churchill became defined through his writings on his ancestor John Churchill, Duke of Marlborough, and how this shaped his understanding of war.

Undercover At The News Of The World Channel 4, 11.05pm Still a hot topic at the moment as the Leveson Inquiry rumbles on, this is an account of the selfstyled Fake Sheikh of Wapping from his right-hand man. It tells how he tricked celebrities into revealing various indiscretions and looks at whether it was all in the public interest.

FILM: Dante’s Peak ITV2, 7pm As volcano disaster movies go it’s not the worst, or the least believable (except for the bit where Pierce Brosnan out-runs a pyroclastic flow in a battered old Ford truck). He’s a scientist sent to investigate a troublesome volcano by a small town. He thinks it’s gonna blow but no-one will believe him. They’ll see.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 11.30 Olympics 2012 1.00pm BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00am – 7.05am Children’s television 7.05 Deadly 60 7.30 Horrible Histories 8.00 The ScoobyDoo Show 8.25 Tree Fu Tom 8.45 Justin’s House 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 Olympics 2012 1.45 Escape To The Country 2.15 Flog It! 3.00 Ultimate Sports Day 3.30 Copycats 4.00 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.30 ROY 5.00 Newsround 5.05 Shaun The Sheep 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Olympics 2012 Gary Lineker and Clare Balding present swimming coverage, including the latest instalment of the battle between Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte. Hoping to make the podium in the women’s 100m freestyle is Britain’s Fran Halsall. Andy Jameson, Adrian Moorhouse and Sharron Davies commentate on seven events: 7.30 Men’s 50m freestyle semi-finals. 7.38 Women’s 200m breaststroke final. 7.46 Men’s 200m backstroke final. 7.54 Women’s 200m backstroke semifinals. 8.16 Men’s 200m individual medley final. 8.34 Women’s 100m freestyle final. 8.51 Men’s 100m butterfly semi-finals. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.40 Olympics Tonight Gabby Logan looks back on the day’s events, in the company of star guests from the world of sport. Eighteen gold medals were won, with a host of stories dominating the headlines. Day seven sees the start of the eagerlyawaited athletics events, with Jessica Ennis making her Olympic debut in the heptathlon. 12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday At the end of the sixth day, Dan Walker presents a round-up of the main stories. 12.55 Holiday Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00 Olympics 2012 Sir Chris Hoy and the men’s sprint team aim to repeat their Beijing form. 7.00 Helicopter Rescue The RAF Chivenor rescue squad tries to save a man stranded by an incoming tide. Plus, RAF Valley crew prepare to join Prince William in the Falklands. 7.30 EastEnders Lauren plucks up the courage to tell a horrified Tanya and Max the truth behind Ian’s disappearance. 8.00 Hairy Dieters: How To Love Food And Lose Weight The duo face up to some home truths about their eating habits, with the support they become the Hairy Dieters. 9.00 Amish: A Secret Life Following Ephraim and Amanda as they attempt life outside of their Amish community. 10.00 Olympics 2012 There’s still two hours of sport taking place. 10.40 Newsnight Investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis. 11.25 Lionel Richie: Dancing On The Ceiling After 15 years of soaring success with the Commodores, Lionel Richie left to go solo in what many considered to be a risky move. His first two albums turned him into a global superstar. 12.25am Engineering Giants 1.25 Sign Zone: Disabled Or Faking It? – Panorama 2.00 Alex Polizzi – The Fixer 3.00 Natural World: Unnatural History Of London


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News: Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Amy gets a shock when she visits her mum in hospital and Victoria starts to make plans to win Alex back. 7.30 Divided Britain: Tonight You might think that the more you earn the better off you will be. But where you live makes a difference to the value of the pound in your pocket. 8.00 Emmerdale Amy is worried to learn her mum has nowhere to go. 8.30 Coronation Street Tyrone faces Kirsty’s wrath when his deal with Tommy is exposed. 9.00 The Briefs With unprecedented access to Britain’s busiest legal aid practice. In part one the lawyers look after a 63-year-old woman accused of drug dealing - and a man is on trial for blackmailing Coleen Rooney. 10.00 ITV News At Ten: Weather 10.35 The Talent Show Story Victoria Wood looks back at the history of talent shows on British TV. In this episode, there is a look at how Britain’s Got Talent revived variety shows. 11.35 Poms In Paradise Brand new documentary series following the lives of some of the Britons who have upped sticks to settle in Australia. 12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 Divided Britain: Tonight 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Will And Grace 8.20 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.50 Frasier 9.25 Come Dine With Me 9.55 Come Dine With Me 10.25 Come Dine With Me 10.55 Come Dine With Me 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 1.05 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 1.35 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons Moe turns the bar into a trendy hang-out, forcing Homer to open a bar in his garage. 6.30 Hollyoaks Amy and Ally’s relationship reaches crisis point, but is this really the end? Scott has shock news for his friends. Leanne gets a position working in Attwells. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 The Churchills See highlights. 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies In this episode, the doctors catch up with some of the most memorable problems they’ve seen. Dr Christian meets a woman who’s opted for radical surgery, hoping to see the end of her facial malformation. Dr Pixie catches up with a mother of two who’s on the mend after an extreme bout of teenage acne left her in despair. 10.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at the A&E department of King’s College Hospital. This episode focuses on the bond between parents and children. 11.05 Undercover At The News Of The World See highlights. 12.05am Random Acts 12.10 Undercover Boss 1.05 Jon Richardson: A Little Bit OCD 2.00 A Short History Of Everything Else 2.30 Britain On The Sick: Channel 4 Dispatches 3.00 Apocalypse: The Second World War 3.55 Time Team 4.50 Extinct 5.15 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00am – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Little Princess 7.05 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Igam Ogam 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Traders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother: The White Room 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Mentalist 3.15 FILM: Trust (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life Oshine has an eventful first night in the orangutan nursery and there is exciting news for the woolly monkeys. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the first day’s play as England take on South Africa in the Second Test at Headingley. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes. 8.00 Harold Shipman: Born To Kill? Psychologists and experts in the field seek clues as to what prompted the awful crimes carried out by the likes of Jeffrey Dahmer, Myra Hindley and the Washington Sniper. Could it be the culmination of a series of traumatic events in early life? 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi visits the Mansion Lions Hotel in Eastbourne. The owner Mr Sheikh Abid Gulzar dreams of turning the hotel into a four-star hotel. But the d’cor and customer service are lacking, with one reviewer listing it as the worst hotel in Eastbourne. 10.00 Big Brother Catch up on the latest events from the house with conversations in the diary room. 11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round-up of Big Brother-related news. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Great Scientists 4.25 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Boots ‘n’ All 10.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket – Eng v SA 7.00pm LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 1.00am World Golf Championship 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 IAAF Athletix

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 European Tour Weekly 8.30 Inside The PGA Tour 9.00 World Cup Of Pool 10.00 FIBA World Basketball 10.30 Total Rugby 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 Inside The PGA Tour 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 Total Rugby 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 Boots ‘n’ All 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 FIBA World Basketball 5.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 6.00 Barclays Premier League World 6.30 NRL Fulltime 7.00 Super League Supermen 8.00 England v South Africa: Test Cricket 10.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 NRL Fulltime 1.30 Super League Supermen 2.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 3.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am National Hot Rod World Finals 7.00 Mowlem’s Racing Travels 8.00 The Premiership Years 10.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 The Premiership Years 3.55 LIVE West Indies v New Zealand – Test Cricket 11.00 Time Of Our Lives 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 IAAF Athletix 2.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 2.30 Close

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Futurama (x2) 1.00 Got To Dance: Auditions (x3) 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Sinbad 9.00 Mount Pleasant 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 An Idiot Abroad 12.00am UK Border Force

6.30am The Real Hustle: Celebrity Chancers 7.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Total Wipeout 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 EastEnders 11.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 12.30am Family Guy (x2) 1.15 American Dad! (x2) 2.00 Dead Boss (x6)

7.00pm BBC World News London Live 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 LIVE: BBC Proms 2012: Bach’s Mass In B Minor 10.00 The Story Of Musicals 11.00 Les Mis At 25: Matt Lucas Dreams The Dream 12.00am Nature’s Microworlds 12.30 Julia Bradbury’s Icelandic Walk 1.30 The Story Of Musicals

4.35pm Real Housewives Of New York City 5.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 6.30 Beat TV 7.00 FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 9.00 Benidorm (x2) 10.00 Lemon La Vida Loca 10.45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records: Bonkingly Big Hits 11.50 Hell’s Kitchen USA (x2) 1.40am Planet’s Funniest Animals

1.15pm Heartbeat 2.20 The Darling Buds Of May 3.25 Monk 4.20 Perspectives: Andrew Lloyd Webber - A Passion For The PreRaphaelites 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Lewis 11.05 Eternal Law 12.05am Murder, She Wrote

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 2 Broke Girls 9.30 New Girl 10.00 The Midnight Beast 10.30 Facejacker 11.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut 11.55 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.50am Scrubs

1.25pm Time Team 2.30 Boudica’s Lost Tribe: A Time Team Special 3.35 4 Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Hoarder Next Door 10.00 The Closer 11.00 Father Ted (x2) 12.05am Embarrassing Bodies 1.05 The Closer 2.05 Brothers And Sisters

11.00am Ocean Waves (1993) 12.35pm Ivanhoe (1952) 2.45 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 4.55 Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) 6.55 XMen: The Last Stand (2006) 9.00 Appaloosa (2008) 11.15 The Final Conflict: Omen III (1981) 1.25am Out Of Time (2003) 3.35 Close




See those amazing Carnival Queens, The Lady Boys Of Bangkok, in all their glamorous glory and hear their inspiring success story in Festival! 10

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038_LS588_TV_Fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 26/07/2012 14:37 Page 1

friday 3 The New Forest: A Year In The Wild BBC2, 7pm Here we see the landscapes and spectacular wildlife of the forest as seen through the eyes of those who live and work there. We also see seasonal changes of the unique and ancient scenery that shelters some the rarest creatures in Britain. There’s some history thrown in too.

The Great British Story: A People’s History BBC2, 9pm Historian Michael Wood tackles how the industrial revolution affected the lives of ordinary people, travelling around the country seeing how and why certain trades sprung up in different places. He examines the role of slavery and how the countryside changed as a result.

Perspectives: David Suchet – People I Have Shot ITV3, 4.20pm A repeat from earlier in the year, David Suchet follows in the footsteps of his Fleet Street photographer grandfather, Jimmy Jarche, recreating some of his famous snaps. As he travels the country you get a feel for his way with people and what a character his grandfather was.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 11.20 Olympics 2012 1.00pm BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Olympics 2012 Coverage from day seven of the Olympics, with athletics, swimming and football in action. The spotlight falls on Jessica Ennis at the end of day one of the heptathlon. In the pool, Rebecca Adlington defends her women’s 800m freestyle title. Plus news of the British women’s football team who, if they have topped their group, should be in quarter-final action at the City of Coventry stadium. Andy Jameson, Adrian Moorhouse and Sharron Davies provide commentary on the four swimming events: 7.30 Women’s 200m backstroke final. 7.38 Men’s 100m butterfly final. 7.45 Women’s 800m freestyle final. 8.09 Men’s 50m freestyle final. Steve Cram, Paul Dickenson, Jonathan Edwards, Brendan Foster and Phil Jones commentate on: 8.05 Men’s 1,500m round 1 heats. 8.30 Men’s shot put final. 8.45 Women’s heptathlon 200m heats. 8.25 Women’s 10,000m final. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.40 Olympics Tonight On the busiest day of the Games so far, Gabby Logan looks back at some of the more memorable moments in the company of star guests. 12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00am – 6.40am Children’s television 6.40 Octonauts 6.50 Rastamouse 7.05 Deadly 60 7.30 Horrible Histories 8.00 The ScoobyDoo Show 8.25 Tree Fu Tom 8.45 Justin’s House 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 Olympics 2012 1.45 Escape To The Country 2.15 Flog It! 3.00 Ultimate Sports Day 3.30 Copycats 4.00 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.05 Shaun The Sheep 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Olympics 2012 The climax of the night’s cycling with two gold medals on offer. 7.00 The New Forest: A Year In The Wild See highlights. 8.00 Coast Exploring the spectacular shoreline of Norway to discover Britain’s age-old link to the land of the fjords. Nick Crane takes a trip over Norway’s most beautiful fjord to witness the great ice sheets. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Monty Don reveals what to plant for fragrance during summer before turning his attention to his herb garden, cutting back marjorman, rosemary and thyme to ensure abundance for the rest of the summer. 9.00 The Great British Story: A People’s History See highlights. 10.00 Olympics 2012 More action on a packed night at the Games. 10.40 Newsnight Investigation and analysis with Eddie Mair. 11.10 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.20 The Sarah Millican Television Programme In her new comedy series, the award-winning comedian talks television. 11.50 EastEnders Tanya questions Cora for more information about her long-lost sister. 1.15am FILM: Someone Else (2006) 2.25 Sign Zone: Tom Daley: Diving For Britain 3.20 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News: Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Confused about her feelings for her mum, Amy gives her an ultimatum. 7.30 Coronation Street Steve makes the wrong move and Sylvia struggles being so far away from Milton. 8.00 Grimefighters A kebab shop in Wolverhampton comes in for a pasting when Johnny and Faye pay a surprise visit. 8.30 Coronation Street Kirsty delivers a chilling threat to Tyrone. Norris’s security measures backfire. Does Steve still have a chance at romance? 9.00 Soham: A Parent’s Tale Ten years after the horrific Soham murders, the parents of Holly Wells talk about their loss, how they have coped over the past decade, and the positive steps they have taken to honour the memory of their beautiful daughter. 10.00 ITV News At Ten: Weather 10.35 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) A government assassin wakes up with amnesia and goes on a mission to piece together his identity while trying to evade the people on his tail. Starring Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Clive Owen and Brian Cox. 12.45am The Store 2.45 FILM: A Home At The End Of The World (2004) 4.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Will And Grace 8.20 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.50 Frasier 9.20 Come Dine With Me 9.55 Come Dine With Me 10.25 Come Dine With Me 10.55 Come Dine With Me 11.30 Come Dine With Me 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 1.05 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 1.35 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Carmel feels her dysfunctional family aren’t taking her crisis of faith seriously. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent Phil Spencer tries to get Britain’s property market moving again – this time in Scotland’s central belt. 9.00 The Million Pound Drop Live Commemorating a summer of sport, celebrity friends and athletes play The Million Pound Drop to raise money for disability charities. 10.35 The Angelos Epithemiou Show Angelos Epithemiou presents with sidekick Gupta. Guests include heroic explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes, who explains why he was forced to cut off his own fingers. 11.10 Friday Night Dinner Adam and Jonny try to find out why Dad was examining his underpants with a magnifying glass and Dad and Adam have a chat about women. 11.40 Celebrity Bedlam Comedian Lee Kern sets up a series of outlandish pranks on celebrities. 12.10am Random Acts 12.15 FILM: Exit Through The Gift Shop (2010) 1.55 My Name Is Earl (x2) 2.40 Stonehouse Reunion 2.45 The Million Pound Drop Live 4.05 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present 2012: Ellie SimmondsPtIII4.10Brain Damage 4.15 St Elsewhere 5.00 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00am – 7.05am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Igam Ogam 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Cowboy Traders 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Extraordinary Dogs 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 NCIS 3.15 FILM: Living With The Enemy (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life Mike has a tricky time collecting a baby gibbon from France. The chimps have fun with fabric and squirrel monkey Fidget settles into his new home. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the second day’s play as England take on South Africa in the Second Test at Headingley. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads Lisa and GW drive a truckload of live llamas across the world’s largest salt flat. On ‘Death Road’, thrill-seeking Tim climbs onto the roof of Tino’s truck and over-confident Hugh comes a cropper. 9.00 Big Brother Brian Dowling hosts the drama and excitement from the house as a housemate is evicted. 10.00 The Bachelor Seven girls remain in the running to win Spencer’s heart. Spencer invites three of the ladies to spend the day with him as they visit Pisa’s iconic leaning tower and have portraits drawn as a lasting memento. 11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side Emma Willis hosts a round-up of Big Brother-related news and debate, with special guests. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket – Eng v SA 7.00pm LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 1.00am World Golf Championship 5.00 Giraglia Rolex Cup 5.30 F1 H2O World Championships

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: Raw 9.00 World Golf Championship 1.00pm NRL Fulltime 1.30 Super League Supermen 2.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 3.00 IAAF Athletix 3.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Trans World Sport 6.00 Thrillseekers 6.30 F1 H20 World Championships 7.00 Giraglia Rolex Cup 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Super League 3.00 England v South Africa: Test Cricket 5.00 IAAF Athletix 5.30 ATP Tour Uncovered

Sky Sports 3 6.00am England v South Africa: Test Cricket 8.00 The Premiership Years 10.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Racemax 2.00 The Premiership Years 3.55 LIVE West Indies v New Zealand - Test Cricket 11.00 Sporting Greats 11.30 F1 H20 World Championships 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Tight Lines 2.00 F1 H20 World Championships 2.30 Giraglia Rolex Cup 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Super League

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








1.00pm Got To Dance (x3) 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Simpsons 7.30 Raising Hope 8.00 The Simpsons 8.30 Parents 9.00 Stella 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 11.00 Dog The Bounty Hunter 12.00am Brit Cops: War On Crime

6.30am The Real Hustle: Celebrity Chancers 7.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Total Wipeout 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 Britain Unzipped 12.00am Family Guy 12.45 American Dad! (x2) 1.25 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents (x4) 5.20 Great Movie Mistakes III

7.00pm BBC World News London Live 7.30 Concerto At The BBC Proms 8.00 LIVE: BBC Proms 2012: Bruckner’s 8th Symphony 10.00 Iron Maiden: Behind The Beast 11.00 Iron Maiden: En Vivo 12.00am Even More Guitar Heroes At The BBC 1.00 The Santana Story: Angels And Demons 2.15 Iron Maiden

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 The Real Housewives Of New York City 5.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 6.30 Beat TV 7.00 The Cube 8.00 Super Tiny Animals 9.00 FILM: Happy Gilmore (1996) 10.55 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 12.20am Take Me Out 1.35 Coronation Street (x2)

11.10am Murder, She Wrote (x2) 1.10pm Heartbeat 2.15 The Darling Buds Of May 3.20 Monk 4.20 Perspectives: David Suchet - People I Have Shot 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Monk 9.00 A Touch Of Frost 11.10 FILM: Vertigo (1958) 1.35am Agatha Christie’s Marple

2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 4.00 Glee 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 2 Broke Girls 9.00 FILM: Blade: Trinity (2004) 11.10 Loyalty 12.05am Big Bang Theory

10.55am FILM: 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954) 1.25pm Time Team 2.30 The Somme’s Secret Weapon: A Time Team Special 3.35 Four Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: Saving Private Ryan (1998) 12.15am Coppers

11.00am King Of Kings (1961) 2.10pm The Hindenburg (1975) 4.35 Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) 7.10 Elf (2003) 9.00 Terminator Salvation (2009) 11.10 Paprika (2006) 12.55am Dreams That Money Can Buy (1947) 2.35 Exiles (1961)



Festival! 18

Lynn Ruth Miller presents the best of Brighton Festival and Brighton Fringe on Festival! 18

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saturday 4 Top Of The Pops 2: Summertime Special BBC2, 9.50pm Thought TOTPs had gone? It’s on now more than ever, trawling their vast archive of weird, wacky and classic performances, with a touch of Mark Radcliffe’s own brand of sarcasm. As it’s finally summer have some Jazzy Jeff, Bananarama and Bryan Adams. Plenty for him to work with, then.

FILM: Heat Channel 4, 11.15pm Michael Mann’s classic crime thriller sees two Hollywood greats, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro, come face to face (famously for the first time) on either side of the law. It centres on a bank job gone wrong and how the chase begins to take a toll on them. There’s also plenty of car chases and gun fights as well. Ace.

The Midnight Beast E4, 11.45pm If you’re not going out you might as well stay up and watch The Midnight Beast. It’s a curious concept, beginning life as a YouTube parody band that satirises youth culture. They’ve had 40 million hits on the site, a sell out tour and a book. So how will it transfer into the cold light of a mainstream sitcom?


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Olympic Breakfast 8.45 Olympics 2012 11.20 Olympics 2012 1.00pm BBC News 1.10 South East Today 1.15 Olympics 2012 5.00 BBC News 5.10 South East Today 5.15 Olympics 2012

6.50 Olympics 2012 Gary Lineker and John Inverdale present as Jessica Ennis and Mo Farah are both looking to improve on last year’s world championship silvers in the heptathlon and men’s 10,000m respectively. Plus the fastest woman at the Games is revealed in the 100m final. Elsewhere, it is the final night of swimming - British hopes rest with Fran Halsall in the women’s 50m freestyle - and the Team GB men’s football squad play a quarter-final in Cardiff if they have topped their preliminary group. With commentary by Steve Cram, Paul Dickenson, Jonathan Edwards, Brendan Foster and Phil Jones on: 7.00 Men’s 400m hurdles semi-finals. 7.35 Women’s 100m semi-finals. 7.55 Men’s long jump final. 8.05 Women’s 400m semifinals. 8.35 Women’s heptathlon 800m final. 9.15 Men’s 10,000m final. 9.55 Women’s 100m final. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 10.40 Olympics Tonight As ‘Super Saturday’ draws to a close and the Games are at the half-way point, Gabby Logan and guests reflect on some of the big stories on a day when 25 gold medals were won. 12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday Dan Walker takes a look back at the key moments. 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00am Postman Pat 6.15 Timmy Time 6.25 The Adventures Of Abney And Teal 6.35 Octonauts 6.45 Rastamouse 7.00 Roar 7.30 Project Parent 8.00 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.20 Dennis & Gnasher 8.35 The Slammer 9.00 Who Let The Dogs Out? 9.30 Incredible Edibles 10.00 My Genius Idea 10.30 Splatalot 11.00 Copycats 11.25 OOglies 11.40 Shaun The Sheep Championsheeps 11.45 Horrible Histories 12.15pm FILM: Fort Apache (1948) 2.20 FILM: The Fall Of The Roman Empire (1964) 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo carries on his travels around the country. 6.30 Flog It! Paul travels to Loughborough with experts Elizabeth Talbot and Adam Partridge on hand. 7.30 Dad’s Army Wartime sitcom. Captain Mainwaring and the men of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard take to the water when they acquire a platoon boat. 8.00 BBC Proms 2012: Handel’s Water Music A very special performance of Britain’s best loved music for royal occasions – Handel’s Water Music suites and the Music for the Royal Fireworks. Both works were originally performed outside, on the River Thames and in Green Park, and in this Jubilee year, conductor Herve Niquet recreates the spectacular atmosphere of those occasions. 9.20 QI Stephen Fry hosts the hilarious, mind-expanding quiz in which the aim is to be interesting. 9.50 Top Of The Pops 2: Summertime Special See highlights. 10.50 FILM: Little Voice (1998) British drama about a shy girl who rarely goes outside, until her talent for mimicking famous singers is spotted. With Brenda Blethyn, Jane Horrocks, Michael Caine, Jim Broadbent and Ewan McGregor. 12.20am FILM: The Boys And Girl From County Clare (2003)


6.00am – 7.05am Children’s television 7.05 Curious George 7.20 Super Hero Squad Show 7.45 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.00 Horrid Henry 8.10 Horrid Henry 8.25 Saturday Cookbook 9.25 ITV News 9.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11.20 The Real Housewives Of New York City 12.20pm ITV News & Weather 12.30 All Star Family Fortunes 1.30 FILM: All Creatures Great And Small (1974) 3.10 FILM: Moonraker (1979) 5.30 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News & Weather 6.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple After the arrival of beautiful young American Bridget Conway, several inhabitants of the village of Wychwood-under-Ashe die unexpectedly. No-one suspects that a killer is at work, but as the deaths continue Miss Marple joins forces with the handsome Luke Fitzwilliam. 8.00 Midsomer Murders Barnaby and Jones enter the cloistered and old-fashioned world of Midsomer Priory after a nun is found strangled. Jones visits the local pub, where he learns that a woman was seen acting strangely on the day of the murder, and that teenagers in the area sneak into the priory grounds for romantic liaisons. Later, the nuns discover that a valuable silver altar set has vanished, then the chaplain is found murdered. Absolute carnage. 10.00 ITV News: Weather 10.20 Mad Mad World Paddy McGuinness presents the comedy panel quiz that looks at fun news stories, events and TV clips from every corner of the globe. 11.00 Take Me Out The Paddy McGuinness fest continues as he tries to arrange dates for 30 loveless ladies, a tan-loving construction worker and a personal trainer with a monstrous alter ego. 12.15am The Store 2.15 In Plain Sight 3.00 ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 British F3 International Series 7.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 7.30 Road To London 2012: Paralympics Extra 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Ibiza Rocks: Kasabian 9.20 The Dark Knight Rises: T4 Movie Special 9.55 New Girl 10.25 Revenge 11.25 Suburgatory 11.55 Summer Daze With Blackberry 12.25pm The Big Bang Theory 12.55 The Big Bang Theory 1.25 The Simpsons 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 4.10 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... 2012: David Smith Part III 4.15 Come Dine With Me (x4) 6.20 Come Dine With Me It is the final day of the competition in Newport and recruitment boss Duncan Powell hosts a Hawaiithemed dinner party. 6.45 Channel 4 News 7.15 7.20 The Million Pound Drop Celebrity friends and athletes play The Million Pound Drop with the challenge of raising as much money as they can for Paralympic and disability charities. Hugo and Binky from Made in Chelsea get to finish their game followed by a relay game started by Frankie Dettori and John McCririck who then get to see categories and must choose which celebrity pair they want to answer it. 9.00 FILM: Fracture (2007) Starring Courtroom thriller showcasing a heated battle of wits between an arrogant young prosecutor and a wily engineer who, after murdering his unfaithful wife and confessing to police, pleads not guilty in court and sets about systematically destroying the seemingly open-and-shut case. Anthony Hopkins, Ryan Gosling, Embeth Davidtz and Rosamund Pike. 11.15 FILM: Heat (1995) See highlights. 2.15am The Million Pound Drop 3.45 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... Mandip Sehmi 2012 Pt III 3.50 Happy Endings 4.10 StElsewhere 5.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.55 Sali Mali

Channel Five

6.00am – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 8.55 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.15 The Mr Men Show 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly Jamm 10.00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 10.35 Batman: The Brave And The Bold 11.10 Looney Tunes 11.20 Big Brother 12.20pm FILM: McBride: Fallen Idol (2006) 2.00 FILM: Talking To Heaven (2002) 5.15 FILM: Jesse Stone: Death In Paradise (2006) 6.55 5 News Weekend 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the third day’s play as England take on South Africa in the Second Test at Headingley. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes. 8.00 NCIS A marine suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder escapes from a secure naval medical centre and goes on a rampage. But there may be a sinister reason for the marine’s erratic behaviour. 9.00 Big Brother Catch up with the highlights and action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room. 10.10 CSI: Miami The team have to pick up the pieces when a violent storm blows away a dead body and all of the surrounding evidence. 11.10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The CSIs investigate the killing of a man afflicted with hypertrichosis, also known as ‘human werewolf syndrome’. The case leads to the victim’s sister, who suffers from the same disease. Because of her condition, she had been hiding from the world - but it turns out that she’s also concealing vital facts. 12.10am SuperCasino 4.00 HouseBusters 4.25 Divine Designs 4.50 Rough Guide To Eco Escapes 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Sporting Greats: Sir Donald Bradman 7.00 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket – Eng v SA 7.00pm LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 1.00am World Golf Championship 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Barclays Premier League World

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Giraglia Rolex Cup 6.30 Super League 8.30 LIVE Super 15 Rugby 10.30 Super League 12.30pm Live Scottish Premier League 3.00 Max Power 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 7.00 Scottish Premier League 8.00 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 10.00 Super 15 Rugby 12.00am Scottish Premier League 1.00 Giraglia Rolex Cup 1.30 IAAF Athletix 2.00 F1 H20 World Championships 2.30 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 4.30 Scottish Premier League 5.30 IAAF Athletix

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 World Golf Championship 1.00pm Trans World Sport 2.00 The Premiership Years 3.55 LIVE West Indies v New Zealand – Test Cricket 11.00 The Premiership Years 1.00am Trans World Sport 2.00 Super 15 Rugby 4.00 Trans World Sport 5.00 Sports Unlimited

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Futurama 2.00 Best Of Oops TV 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Angel 7.00 Terra Nova 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 FILM: The Naked Gun (1988) 10.40 Stella 11.40 Road Wars 12.40am Costa Del Street Crime

9.00am Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.30 Live At The Electric 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 American Dad! (x2) 1.30 FILM: Highlander 5 – The Source (2007) 2.50 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 3.50 Russell Howard

7.00pm The Blue Planet 8.00 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Avalanches 9.00 Wallander 10.15 Julia Bradbury’s Icelandic Walk 11.15 Top Of The Pops: 1977 11.50 City Beneath The Waves: Pavlopetri 12.50am The Two-Thousand-Year-Old Computer 1.50 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Avalanches

1.05pm Holiday Showdown 2.10 America’s Got Talent 4.55 FILM: The Flintstones In Viva Rock Vegas (2000) 6.45 FILM: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (2005) 9.00 FILM: The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (2008) 11.10 FILM: Batman And Robin (1997) 1.40am The Only Way Is Essex (x2)

12.30pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Inspector Morse 6.25 FILM: The Great St Trinian’s Train Robbery (1966) 8.20 FILM: Carry On Camping (1969) 10.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.10 Terry And June (x2)

2.05pm Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Desperate Housewives 4.00 Revenge 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 7.30 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 8.30 Suburgatory 9.00 FILM: Hot Rod (2007) 10.45 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.45 The Midnight Beast 12.20am The Ricky Gervais Show 12.55 Rude Tube

8.55am Time Team (x4) 1.10pm FILM: Oliver Twist (1948) 3.30 River Cottage Bites 3.40 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain 4.40 Location, Location, Location (x3) 8.00 Supersize vs Superskinny 9.00 Marilyn, The Last Sessions 11.05 FILM: Saving Private Ryan (1998) 2.20am Supersize vs Superskinny

11.00am The Valley Of Gwangi (1969) 1.00pm Elf (2003) 2.50 Carry On Cabby (1963) 4.40 Meet Dave (2008) 6.25 The Great Debaters (2007) 9.00 P.S. I Love You (2007) 11.25 30 Days Of Night (2007) 1.35am Control (2007) 4.00 Close

“There was a great gig last night.” “No, it was rubbish!” The verdict’s out at

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sunday 5 A History Of Ancient Britain Special: Orkney’s Stone Age Temple BBC2, 6pm Neil Oliver explores the newly discovered Neolithic temple in Orkney. Built 5,000 years ago (it predates Stonehenge by 500 years) it is opening up a world of previously unknown details of Stone Age life. Including painted wall decorations and paint pots.

The Zoo ITV1, 7pm The cameras return to the Zoological Society of London for a second outing and catch up with some familiar faces. There’s a naughty penguin, the oldest resident (a giant tortoise) returns plus the Californian sea lions can’t learn new tricks as their pool is being refurbished. Beats being in the wild though.

Olympics 2012 BBC3, 9am, 2pm, 7pm Yes it’s still going on, had enough yet? No, well you’re in luck then as there’s various coverage from 6am until midnight. Usain Bolt tries to retain some of his titles other than 100m and there’s some British interest as Christine Ohuruogu also defends her crown. Could be one of those people talk about for years.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 10.45 BBC News 10.50 Olympics 2012 1.30pm Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012 5.35 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00am Postman Pat 6.15 Timmy Time 6.25 The Adventures Of Abney And Teal 6.35 Octonauts 6.45 Rastamouse 7.00 Roar 7.30 Paradise Cafe 7.55 Hacker Time 8.25 Dennis & Gnasher 8.35 Wingin’ It 9.00 Who Let The Dogs Out? 9.30 Junior Bake Off 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 Raymond Blanc: The Very Hungry Frenchman 12.30pm FILM: Buchanan Rides Alone (1958) 1.50 Olympics 2012 4.30 Great British Railway Journeys 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 Olympics 2012

6.00 Olympics 2012 Day four of the cycling concludes with the men’s 1km time trial. Sue Barker and Jake Humphrey present. 6.50 Olympics 2012 Gary Lineker, John Inverdale, Michael Johnson and Denise Lewis present as the men’s 100m champion is crowned. All eyes are on Jamaican Usain Bolt as he attempts to retain his Olympic title. Other finals include the women’s triple jump, possibly featuring world indoor champion Yamile Aldama, representing Great Britain. In the women’s 400m, could there possibly be a repeat of Christine Ohuruogu’s stunning gold medal run in Beijing? Other events include: 7.00 Women’s 400m hurdles round 1 heats. 7.35 Women’s triple jump final. 7.45 Men’s 100m semi-finals. 8.15 Men’s 1,500m semi-finals. 8.20 Men’s hammer throw final. 8.40 Men’s 400m semi-finals. 9.10 Women’s 400m final. 9.25 Men’s 3,000m steeplechase final. 9.50 Men’s 100m final. 10.15 BBC News 10.30 South East Today 10.40 Olympics Tonight At the end of what promises to be an historic day, Gabby Logan reflects on the headline makers and stories that have dominated the day. 12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday Olly Foster presents a round-up of all the major stories. 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00 A History Of Ancient Britain Special: Orkney’s Stone Age Temple See highlights. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team of experts welcome visitors to the gardens of Tatton Park in Cheshire. Henry Sandon has a memorable day when one of the rarest 18th century pieces of Royal Worcester turns up. 8.00 Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure Ken Hom and Ching-He Huang cook their way across China in an epic culinary adventure. 9.00 The Dark: Nature’s Nighttime World Natural history series revealing a new perspective on wildlife at night. 10.00 FILM: Edge Of Darkness (2010) Thriller starring Mel Gibson, Ray Winstone, Danny Huston, Shawn Roberts and Damian Young. 11.45 FILM: Judgment Night (1993) Thriller about four young men from the suburbs who experience a night of terror in Chicago’s West Side. The quartet go to see a big fight in the city, taking a short cut in their luxury car. But after they hit a boy in the street, they find themselves at the mercy of a gang leader bent on killing each one of them. Starring Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Jr, Denis Leary and Stephen Dorff. 1.30am Sign Zone: Holby City 2.30 Britain’s Heritage Heroes 3.00 Real Rescues


6.00am – 6.30am Children’s television 6.30 Jungle Junction 6.40 Jungle Junction 6.55 Poppy Cat 7.05 Curious George 7.20 Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 7.30 Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 7.45 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.00 Big Time Rush 8.25 Dinner Date 9.25 ITV News 9.30 House Gift 10.25 There’s No Taste Like Home 11.25 The Hungry Sailors 12.25pm ITV News & Weather 12.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 1.30 Murder, She Wrote 2.30 Columbo: It’s All In The Game 4.25 Doc Martin 5.25 Doc Martin 6.25 Regional News: Weather 6.30 Meridian News: Weather 6.45 ITV News: Weather 7.00 The Zoo See highlights. 8.00 A Touch Of Frost First in a twopart story ending the long-running series. When DI Frost joins forces with RSPCA inspector Christine Moorhead in a raid on a brutal dogfight there are unexpected and deadly consequences as a boy is killed in a knife attack, and the killer’s father will go to any lengths to stop the only witness - Christine - from testifying against his son. 10.00 ITV News: Weather 10.15 The Briefs First of a two-part documentary which looks at the cutthroat world of criminal law. With unprecedented access to Britain’s busiest legal aid practice, the programme follows the solicitors at Tuckers in Manchester, as they look after their clients on cases ranging from blackmail to murder. In part one the lawyers look after a 63-year-old woman accused of drug dealing - and a man is on trial for blackmailing Coleen Rooney. 11.20 JP Morgan Premiership Rugby 7s Highlights Highlights of the final of the Rugby Sevens from the Recreation Ground in Bath. 12.15am The Store 2.15 Goldenballs 3.05 Motorsport UK 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Intelligent Sport UK Challenge 7.25 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... London 2012: Danielle Brown Part III 7.30 Road To London 2012: Paralympics Extra 8.00 Will And Grace 8.25 Will And Grace 8.50 Frasier 9.20 Frasier 10.00 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm The Big Bang Theory 1.00 The Big Bang Theory 1.35 The Simpsons 2.05 The Simpsons 2.35 Jamie Does... Venice 3.40 How To Cook Like Heston 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.15 FILM: Hairspray (2007) 7.25 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Come Dine With Me The cookery-based reality show in which five amateur chefs compete to stage the ultimate dinner party. In Surrey, well-heeled estate agent James Quantrell kicks off the week with his Best of British themed dinner party. But it’s the group dynamics that are the real talking point. 9.00 Thelma’s Gypsy Girls Thelma Madine recruits and oversees the development of ten Gypsy and Traveller would-be fashion designers. Shannon, Kathleen, Vicky and Megan are tasked with working on their first gypsy wedding dress. But two of the girls squander their chance to impress and Thelma has to suspend them from the course. 10.00 FILM: Sex And The City (2008) Romantic comedy based on the hit television series about the love lives of a New York sex columnist and three of her closest friends. Carrie prepares for her dream wedding to Mr Big, but when a careless remark by Miranda causes him to call off the nuptials, the writer’s friends rally around her. Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, David Eigenberg and Jason Lewis. 12.50am FILM: 35 Shots Of Rum (2008) 2.35 Camelot 3.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.30 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00am – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.10 The Mr. Men Show 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Jelly Jamm 10.00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 10.35 Batman: The Brave And The Bold 11.10 Looney Tunes 11.20 Monkey Life 11.50 Big Brother 12.55pm FILM: Daleks – Invasion Earth 2150 AD (1965) 2.40 FILM: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989) 4.20 FILM: The Karate Kid (1984) 6.55 5 News Weekend 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the fourth day’s play as England take on South Africa in the Second Test at Headingley. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes. 8.00 Once Upon A Time Mr Gold suspects that August W Booth is really his son. Rumplestiltskin succumbs to the Dark Power, and Emma tries to find out who doctored the DNA results on the heart and frame Mary Margaret. 9.00 Big Brother Catch up with the highlights of the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room. 10.00 FILM: Ultraviolet (2006) In a dystopian near-future an authoritarian human society is at war with a race of vampiric beings contaminated with a genetically modified disease. Starring Milla Jovovich and Cameron Bright. 11.50 FILM: Alien Hunter (2003) A cryptologist flies to a research base in the Antarctic to decode mysterious radio signals emanating from an unknown object. Starring James Spader, Janine Eser and John Lynch. 1.35am SuperCasino 4.00 Sons Of Anarchy 4.45 Rough Guide To Weekend Breaks 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Sporting Greats 7.00 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 9.00 Cricket Writers On TV 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket – Eng v SA 7.00pm LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 1.00am World Golf Championship 5.00 Sporting Greats 5.30 Sporting Greats

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Scottish Premier League 7.00 World Golf Championship 11.00 Scottish Premier League 12.00pm World Golf Championship 4.00 Polo 5.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 7.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 7.30 Sporting Greats 8.00 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 10.00 Super League Full Time 11.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 11.30 Max Power 12.30am Super League Full Time 1.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 2.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Football’s Greatest 11.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 12.00pm WWE: Experience 1.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 2.00 The Premiership Years 3.55 LIVE West Indies v New Zealand - Test Cricket 11.00 WWE: Late Night Afterburn 12.00am This Week In WWE 12.30 WWE: Vintage Collection 1.30 Polo 2.30 Close

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








4.00pm Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 The Dark Knight Rises: Premiere Special 5.30 Futurama 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Raising Hope 7.00 Sinbad 8.00 Terra Nova 9.00 The Simpsons 9.30 Parents 10.00 Strike Back: Project Dawn 11.00 Spartacus: Gods Of The Arena 12.10am Emergency With Angela Griffin

6.00am Total Wipeout 7.05 FILM: Bedknobs And Broomsticks (1971) 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 1.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 2.30 White Van Man (x6)

7.00pm Himalaya With Michael Palin 8.00 Frank Skinner On George Formby 9.00 The Road To Coronation Street 10.20 Epic: A Cast Of Thousands! 11.20 Shakespeare From Kabul 12.05am Iron Maiden: Behind The Beast 1.05 Iron Maiden: En Vivo 2.05 The Santana Story: Angels And Demons

1.40pm The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 3.10 FILM: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (2005) 5.25 FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 7.15 FILM: Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) 9.00 Benidorm 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.45 Lemon La Vida Loca 11.30 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 1.25am The Only Way...

10.40am Rosemary And Thyme (x2) 12.45pm Sherlock Holmes: The Eligible Bachelor 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal (x2) 5.10 FILM: The Great St Trinian’s Train Robbery (1966) 7.05 FILM: Arthur (1981) 9.00 FILM: Psycho (1960) 11.15 Trial And Retribution 1.25am Blue Murder

12.40pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 1.40 Listen 1.55 How I Met Your Mother 2.20 Ugly Betty 3.15 Glee 4.10 New Girl 4.40 Suburgatory 5.05 Revenge 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x4) 8.00 FILM: XMen (2000) 10.00 Rude Tube 11.05 2 Broke Girls 11.35 New Girl 12.05am The Inbetweeners

9.45am Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals (x5) 12.25pm Time Team (x2) 2.30 Four In A Bed (x5) 5.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 River Cottage Every Day 9.00 One Born Every Minute 10.00 Father Ted (x2) 11.10 Embarrassing Bodies 12.15am River Cottage Every Day 1.20 One Born Every Minute 2.25 Embarrassing Bodies

11.00am Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) 1.00pm Bride And Prejudice (2004) 3.10 James And The Giant Peach (1996) 4.45 Chariots Of Fire (1981) 7.10 Legend (1985) 9.00 The Bank Job (2008) 11.10 Final Destination 3 (2006) 12.55am Bombon, El Perro (2004) 2.55 Close



The Vote Show 4

Park yourself in front of a screen and watch Cllr Mary Mears, Cllr Jason Kitcat and Lord Steve Bassam debate

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039_LS588_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 27/07/2012 11:48 Page 1

monday 6 Britain’s High Street Gamble: Channel 4 Dispatches Channel 4, 8pm As the high street struggles, the space left by traditional family run stores is being filled by betting shops, with around one springing up a week. Michael Crick talks to those most affected by the relaxed gambling laws and to the politicians responsible.

The Dark: Nature’s Nighttime World BBC2, 11.30pm This series sees a team investigate the deepest darkest corners of the globe, where most normal people avoid – and at night too. Including attempts to film a nocturnal monkey, some giant anteaters, vampire bats in a deserted house and a previously unknown species – spooky stuff.

My Kidney And Me More4, 10pm Following the story of, Tom, a 26-year-old Londoner who made the incredible decision to donate one of his kidneys to a stranger. This film explores the boundaries of modern altruism and talks to his friends an family as they struggle to come to terms with the concept of him giving such a life-changing gift to someone.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2012 11.30 Olympics 2012 1.00pm BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Olympics 2012 4.00 Olympics 2012

6.00am 7.05am Children’s television 7.05 Deadly 60 7.30 Horrible Histories 8.00 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.25 Tree Fu Tom 8.45 Justin’s House 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 Olympics 2012 1.45 Escape To The Country 2.15 Flog It! 3.00 Ultimate Sports Day 3.30 Copycats 4.00 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.30 Project Parent 5.00 Newsround 5.05 Shaun The Sheep 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Olympics 2012 Gary Lineker and John Inverdale present the evening’s athletics action, with British world champion Dai Greene hoping to win Olympic gold in the 400m hurdles. All eyes will also be on the new kid on the block, Holly Bleasdale, in the women’s pole vault final. With commentary by Steve Cram, Paul Dickenson, Jonathan Edwards, Brendan Foster and Phil Jones on seven events: 7.00 Women’s pole vault final. 7.15 Women’s shot put final. 7.20 Women’s 200m round 1 heats. 8.15 Women’s 400m hurdles semi-finals. 8.45 Men’s 400m hurdles final. 9.05 Women’s 3,000m steeplechase final. 9.30 Men’s 400m final. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.30 South East Today 10.40 Olympics Tonight With action continuing until midnight, Gabby Logan hosts with guests from the sporting world and beyond. It could be a big night for Britain’s Anthony Joshua, a boxing world silver medalist. A win in the superheavyweight quarter-finals guarantees him an Olympic medal. 12.00am BBC News 12.10 Olympic Sportsday Dan Walker presents a round-up of the main action and stories on day ten of the Games. 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 BBC News

6.00 Olympics 2012 Featuring the conclusion of cycling’s men’s sprint competition. Cycling track: 6.05 Men’s sprint finals, race 2; 6.15 Women’s sprint quarter-finals, race 3; 6.20 Women’s omnium elimination race; 6.35 Men’s sprint finals, race 3. 7.00 Coast The team’s journey continues around the stunning shores of Devon and Cornwall. Nick Crane is on a fishing expedition on board one of the last remaining Brixham trawlers. 8.00 EastEnders Phil and Ben are rocked by the news of Ian’s return and resort to drastic measures to maintain their secret. 8.30 Rats, Traps, Bugs And Cutbacks – Panorama We may have to live with more rats, bedbugs and cockroaches according to environmental health experts as budget cuts mean some councils are disbanding their pest control teams while others are now charging. 9.00 Horizon Series exploring topical scientific issues. 10.00 Olympics 2012 Another evening of boxing quarter-finals at the ExCel arena. 10.40 Newsnight Investigation of the stories with Kirsty Wark. 11.30 The Dark: Nature’s Nighttime World See highlights. 12.30am Sign Zone: Coast 1.30 Alex Polizzi – The Fixer 2.30 Britain’s Heritage Heroes 3.00 Real Rescues


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Dinner Date

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News: Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Marlon struggles to hold it together at Paddy’s stag do. 7.30 Coronation Street Kirsty’s lies push Tyrone to breaking point and Steve and Lloyd team up. 8.00 Countrywise The team celebrate the Olympics by looking at how the British countryside has helped shape this summer’s games. 8.30 Coronation Street Mary struggles to hide her disappointment when Hayley returns home. 9.00 The Hit Factory: The Stock Aitken And Waterman Story One of the most successful songwriter teams in music history; Mike Stock, Matt Aitken and Pete Waterman had over 100 top 40 hits, selling 40 million, such as Kylie Minogue’s I Should Be So Lucky and Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up. 10.00 ITV News At Ten: Weather 10.35 Real Crime With Mark Austin: The Black Cab Rapist The story behind the biggest rape enquiry London’s police has ever dealt with – cab driver John Worboys who went undetected for over five years. 11.35 In Plain Sight Mary is assigned to help a parolee acclimatise to life outside of prison. 12.25am Jackpot247 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.25am – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Will And Grace 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Come Dine With Me (x5) 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun 1.05 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... Jody Cundy Pt III 2012 1.10 Rescue Remedies 1.20 FILM: How To Marry A Millionaire (1953) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 The Simpsons Bart joyrides so he gets tied to Homer. 6.30 Hollyoaks Amy resolves to move on after her split with Ally, while Tilly and Jen have a hot date. 7.00 Channel 4 News . 7.55 8.00 Britain’s High Street Gamble: Channel 4 Dispatches See highlights. 8.30 Simply Italian Welsh-born Italian Michela Chiappa shows how to create the perfect filled pasta on the stunning Cinque Terre coastline. 9.00 Undercover Boss The CEO of one of Stena Line boards some of his fleet to see if the business is delivering its promise of convenient, efficient and relaxing travel. 10.00 Thelma’s Gypsy Girls Shannon, Kathleen, Vicky and Megan are tasked with working on their first gypsy wedding dress. But two of the girls squander their chance. 11.05 Coming Up Up-and-coming writers are given the chance to shine. 11.40 FILM: Swimmer (2012) A short film by Lynne Ramsay, director of We Need to Talk About Kevin, about a man’s isolated swim that is accompanied by movie references. 12.00am Random Acts 12.05 Embarrassing Bodies 1.05 The Good Wife (x2) 2.30 The Big C (x2) 3.30 Happy Endings 3.40 Limb-O-Xtreme 3.55 St Elsewhere 4.45 Deal Or No Deal5.40Baking MadWith Eric Lanlard

Channel Five

6.00am – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Igam Ogam 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Chopped 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Extraordinary Dogs 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Mentalist 3.10 FILM: Accidental Friendship (2008) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Monkey Life Jeremy has to step in when a dispute arises between new arrival Oshine and resident foster mum A-mei. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the final day’s play as England take on South Africa in the Second Test at Headingley. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes. 8.00 Police Interceptors Mac stops a driver for having no insurance and unearths a huge drugs haul. Tim and Ange stop an alleged road-rage suspect armed with a table leg. 9.00 Big Brother Catch up with highlights of all the action, arguments, couplings, friendships and conversations in the diary room. 10.00 The Walking Dead Rick and Carl return from the woods to find the farm in jeopardy, and the group is split up in the ensuing chaos. With things looking grim, Rick’s leadership is called into question. 10.55 FILM: Red Sonja (1985) Sword-and-sorcery adventure yarn in which the eponymous flame-haired warrior sets out to avenge her family’s murder, aided by a musclebound hero. Starring Brigitte Nielsen and Arnold Schwarzenegger. 12.45am Comedy Kings: Best Of Just For Laughs 1.10 SuperCasino 3.55 Great Scientists 4.20 House Doctor 4.45 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Masters Of European Football 9.30 Scottish Premier League 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket – Eng v SA 6.00pm Masters Of European Football 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 Test Cricket – Eng v SA 12.00am Masters Of European Football 12.30 Super League 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 SPL Round-Up 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 World Golf Championship 12.00pm Super League 2.00 Sporting Greats 2.30 ATP Tour Tennis 4.00 Live: ATP Tennis 11.00 Elite League Speedway 1.00am Test Cricket - Eng v SA 3.00 Super League 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Test Cricket - Eng v SA 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm ATP Tour Tennis 1.30 Masters Of European Football 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Thrillseekers 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 10.30 SPL Round-Up 11.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am WWE: Late Night Afterburn 1.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 5.15 Close

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








1.00pm Got To Dance: Auditions (x3) 3.00 Modern Family 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Modern Family 4.30 The Middle 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A League Of Their Own 8.30 Spy 9.00 Cop Squad 10.00 Spartacus 11.15 Strike Back: Project Dawn 12.15am My Holiday Hostage Hell

7.00am Pop’s Greatest Dance Crazes 8.00 Total Wipeout: The Legends 9.00 Olympics 2012 2.00pm Olympics 2012 7.00 LIVE: Olympics 2012 11.00 EastEnders 11.30 Pramface (x2) 12.30am Family Guy (x2) 1.15 American Dad! (x2) 2.00 Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show (x5) 4.30 Deaf Teens: Hearing World

7.00pm News 7.30 Wilderness Explored 8.30 Nature’s Microworlds 9.00 Wild Swimming 10.00 After Life: The Strange Science Of Decay 11.30 A History Of Art In Three Colours 12.30am Nature’s Microworlds 1.00 Wilderness Explored 2.00 After Life: The Strange Science Of Decay

4.40pm Real Housewives Of New York City 5.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 6.30 Beat TV 7.00 The Xtra Factor: Caroline & Olly’s Best & Worst 8.00 The Cube 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Lemon La Vida Loca 10.45 FILM: Analyze This (1999) 12.50am Planet’s Funniest Animals 1.15 Coronation Street (x2)

10.15am Monk 11.10 Murder, She Wrote (x2) 1.10pm Heartbeat 2.15 The Darling Buds Of May 3.20 Monk 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Taggart 10.00 Taggart 11.05 Murder In Suburbia 12.05am Life

3.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 4.00 Glee 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 New Girl 8.30 Suburgatory 9.00 Revenge 10.00 Beaver Falls 11.00 The Inbetweeners 11.30 Celebrity Bedlam 12.05am Big Bang Theory

2.30pm The Real Knights Of The Round Table: A Time Team Special 3.35 4 Rooms 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away (x2) 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Jimmy’s Forest 10.00 My Kidney And Me 10.35 Embarrassing Bodies 11.40 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 12.40am Come Dine With Me

11.00am Damn The Defiant! (1962) 1.00pm Funny Face (1957) 3.05 Challenge To Lassie (1949) 4.40 Rear Window (1954) 6.55 The First Wives Club (1996) 9.00 The Ghost (2008) 11.30 The Burning Plain (2008) 1.35am Close My Eyes (1990) 3.50 Close



Invite Val Aviv to cover your event

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Latest 7: No. 588  

ITS A MAN THING Men of all ages join together to raise funds with the Martlets Noon Walk

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