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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove Lynn Ruth Miller tells us the inside story of what it was like to be on Britain’s Got Talent and now brings us the best of Brighton Festival, Brighton Fringe and the Artists Open Houses daily on Festival! at:

★ jobs ★ food ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★

15 – 21 May 2012


Les gourmands Restaurant L’Eglise hosts Chef’s Table with culinary aces from Brighton and beyond page 21

GAME, SET & MATCH Fall in love with tennis this summer as both a spectator & player ANDY HAMILTON The multi-talented comedian brings his new show to Worthing

THE OPEN UNIVERSITY Courses to help develop your field & further your career

30th May – 3rd June 2012 Schedule: The Brighton Frocks Show (associate sponsor: Cardens Accountants) – 30th May, All Saints Church, Hove. The Zeitgeist Show (associate sponsor: iCrossing) – 31st May, All Saints Church, Hove. The Photocopy Club (does fashion) – 1st June, Create Studios, Brighton. The Ready to Wear Show sponsored by Business Cash Advance – 2nd – 3rd June, Corn Exchange, Brighton. Jitterbug - Closing Party – 3rd June, Mesmerist, Brighton.

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CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine



>on tv

Read reviews of Brighton Festival and Brighton Fringe shows from the previous night, leave your own comments on shows or if you’ve seen the best of the fest, vote for them in The Latest Festival Awards! Visit the homepage to vote now. The Brighton Download Chart is changing: we will soon be welcoming video additions to the chart, the best of which will be featured on Latest TV in the coming months. For everything Brighton: what’s on, news, reviews and more, log on now: See Vanessa Redgrave

04 Latest People The Children’s Parade, House Open 2012, dreamthinkspeak and Cheeky Walks book launch 07 Latest Brighton & Hove News & Jobs Headlines with Phil Mills, outgoing Brighton Mayor Anne Meadows, blogs and readers’ letters 07 Marina Life The Boat Project comes to Brighton Marina 12 Latest Opinion Inside Britain’s Got Talent with Lynn Ruth Miller 14 Snap Shots Only In Brighton’s Ric Morris 14 Competitions Win a pair of Polaroid sunglasses; True Blood on DVD 15 Celeb City Rizzle Kicks at Rockinghorse, Lawson coming to HMV, Adele rumours and a much talked about skip 16 Bare Cheek Up the proverbial; more etiquette with Hetty Kwett 16 Mad Matt Matt dabbles in some magic 17 City Speak Ruby is on a man hunt, Tasha is off to Asia and Will finds drama in a lift!

15–21 MAY 2012

Festival! Festival! is our TV show all about the best of Brighton Festival and Brighton Fringe presented by Lynn Ruth Miller whose Britain’s Got Talent adventures you can read about in Latest 7, p12. It’s a daily show and thousands of you have been watching it. We are amazed at the response so far so thank you! Most popular so far is Professor Elemental in Festival! 1 with Vanessa Redgrave, and our love edition featuring Billie Rae and Private Lives in Festival! 3 seems to be well, uh, loved. Coming up this week are films on Berkoff’s East, Medusa, Faulty Towers Dining Experience, The Great Escape, Hannibal Buress, Screaming Inside director Daniel Finlay and his superstar dad Frank Finlay. Oh, and dozens more! Lynn Ruth Miller presents Festival! every day at

All the latest homes are on


If you want to be part of Brighton’s TV channel come to our open democratic meetings at Latest MusicBar every Monday at 5.30pm.

19 Comedian, producer and director Andy Hamilton talks about his new show: Hat Of Doom

LIFESTYLE 13 The Open University Advice and information open day 20 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink; Hotlist An adventurous menu at The Cuthbert Pub & Kitchen 21 On the cover: L’Eglise Culinary geniuses at The Chefs Table 24 Health & Wellbeing The Holistic Mystic mind, body and soul fair is here 25 Tennis feature special Pick up your racket and get set to play in Sussex!

WHAT’S ON 28 Reviews & Bookings; Brighton Download Chart The Rest Is Silence; The Hanging Gardens Of Brighton 30 Latest Previews Matthew Bourne’s Early Adventures; Scottish Falsetto Socks, and Sacha Baron Cohen in The Dictator 34 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Horoscopes; The Exclusives; seven day lTV guide Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless


Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Entertainment Editor & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website For details of advertising opportunities with please contact Lynne Edwards tel: 01273 818150

Watch our shows at

‘Like’ Latest 7 on Facebook Editor Zara Baker Editorial Assistant Laura Burgess Sub Editors Chris Dyer Rachel Junior Dougie Walker

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Anand Day Andrew Wright Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

Illustrators Paul Lewis Jake McDonald Neil Webb Work experience Niamh Canning

01273 818150 Editorial: Advertising: Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

004_005_LS577_latest people_Social Diary 11/05/2012 16:10 Page 2




The Children’s Parade, House 2012, The Cheeky Walks launch, dreamthinkspeak & The Brighton Experience

Children’s Parade 2012 This year’s Children’s Parade celebrated the ‘story of stories’. Same Sky, based in Brighton, is an artist-led charity that produces high quality arts projects with participation and legacy. Same Sky worked with parents, teachers, artists, musicians, choreographers, and 5,000 young people from across the city to explore this universal impulse in a spectacular parade through the streets of Brighton. Vanessa Redgrave, actress, political activist, Unicef goodwill ambassador, and Guest Director of Brighton Festival 2012, led the parade which started in Kensington Street, Brighton. Words & photos: Patrick Kneath

Head of the parade with Vanessa Redgrave & Cllr Anne Meadows. Mayor of Brighton & Hove

Vanessa Redgrave

Clare Sheppard, Curator, Judy Stevens (Festival Director), Andrew Comben (Chief Executive, Brighton Dome), Nicola Coleby, Curator, (Keeper of Exhibitions, Royal Pavilion & Museums, Brighton & Hove), Simon Martin, Curator, (Head of Curatorial Services, Pallant House Gallery, Chichester)

“The Dome-stairs” Kate Graham

House Open 2012 Launch House Open is a curated open submissions exhibition, open to all artists exhibiting in the May Artists Open Houses festival.This year, House Open has moved to its new location at Brighton Dome’s Foyer and Founders Room. This central and prestigious location provides a great opportunity to showcase an exciting selection from this year’s Open Houses Artists. Words & photos: Patrick Kneath

House 2012 at The Regency Town House House 2012 brings a new co-commission and related works from British artist David Batchelor to The Regency Town House, with responses from five commissioned artists being shown at venues around the city, including Phoenix Gallery and University of Brighton. Words & photos: Patrick Kneath

British Artist David Batchelor exhibit in The Town House, 13 Regency Square. Hove

Sarah Gibbings (Trustee of The Town House). Rupert RadcliffeGenge (Hon Treasurer of The Town House). Nick Tyson (Curator of The Town House). Janita Bagshawe (Head of Royal Pavilion Museums). Neil Bingham (Chairman of Trustees of The Town House)

‘Cheeky Walks’ book launch The Cheeky Guides’ new book of themed walks around brighton & Sussex was launched at the Blind Tiger Club in Grand Parade on 2 May. There was an opportunity to meet the authors and contributors and fellow volunteer walkers. Cheeky Walks In Brighton & Sussex is designed for the fair and foul weather walker with routes in both town and country. Since the release of the first edition of The Cheeky Guide to Brighton in 1999, Cheeky Guides have gone from strength to strength, releasing successful books about Oxford, Student Life and Love, not to mention a string of successful comedy shows in Brighton and Edinburgh based on several of the titles. Words & photos: Patrick Kneath

Tim Bick. John Ashton. David Bramwell. (The Authors)

Chris MacDonald. Ric Morris (Contributors)

Sooxanne. Colin Uttley (Spectrum Drama) - Walkers

Charlotte Walsh. Christine Gent. Kate Hunt (Walkers)

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The Rest Is Silence

interweaving performance and film to create a vigorous new Co-commissioned by Brighton Festival, interpretation that cuts to the heart LIFT 2012 and the Royal Shakespeare of Shakespeare’s great play. Company for The World Shakespeare Unit 4, The Malthouse Estate, Festival, a part of the London 2012 Brighton Road, Shoreham-By-Sea Festival. dreamthinkspeak presents Performances until 9 June. The Rest Is Silence a haunting new production: a cinematic and dreamlike deconstruction of Hamlet, Words & photos: Patrick Kneath

Ruth Lass (Getrude). Phil Edgerly (Claudius)

Richard Clews (Polonius). Edward Hogg (Hamlet)

Edward Hogg (Hamlet). Beth Cullinane (Ophelia)

Michael Bryher (Rosencrantz). Stewart Heffernan (Guildenstern)

Phil Edgerly (Claudius)

Ben Ingles (Laertes)

The Brighton Experience exhibition Churchill Square Shopping Centre is to host a major exhibition of iconic Brighton photographs that celebrate life in Brighton. The exhibition, The Brighton Experience, features work Roger Bamber - Potheads from over 40 Brighton photographers, including award-winning press photographer Roger Bamber, featuring photographic highlights from The North Laine Gallery. The Brighton Experience opens at Churchill Square Shopping Centre runs until 27 May. Photos: Courtesy of Bullet PR for Churchill Square.

Anni Agnise - Under the burnt out west pie

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latest brighton & hove news IN BRIEF ■ ALBION HERO TO OPEN WORKSHOPS FOR


Brighton & Hove Albion Life President Dick Knight is to open the revamped motor vehicle workshops where the next generation of mechanics learn their trade. City College Brighton and Hove spent £820,000 revamping the workshops at its Wilson Avenue site. It said that the overhaul was part of a drive to raise standards in teaching and learning. The workshops are used by 200 youngsters and they’re keen for more old cars to practise on. Smaller cars which are lighter and easier to move are ideal such as Ford Escorts and Fiestas, Peugeot 106 and 306 models, VW Polos, Vauxhall Corsas and Fiat Puntos. The cars won’t be going on the road – they’re just for workshop practice at the City College East campus. Anyone willing to donate an old car can contact course leader Steve Philliben on 01273 667788 x615 or by email at


L-R: Adam Maharaj-Newman, Stuart McLaughlin Headteacher of PACA, James Kirtley Former SCCC Player and Ambassador for the Aldridge Cricket Academy

A good catch Two state schools have taken on Adam Maharaj-Newman to spread his love of cricket. Frank le Duc finds out what we should expect from him

Michael Edwards, Senior Vice President, American Express, Anne Meadows, Brighton & Hove Mayor, and celebrity host, Harry Derbridge (The Only Way Is Essex) open the ninth annual Stonewall Equality Walk.



Stonewall said that 600 people took part in its Brighton Equality Walk, making it the biggest ever and raising £65,000 to help tackle homophobic bullying in schools. John Bercow, the Speaker of the House of Commons, and his wife Sally started the 10k walk. Mr Bercow said: “Thank you to Stonewall, who must be regarded as one of the most successful campaigns in British political history.” This year’s walk was supported by American Express and Square Peg Media. The top team prize went to PricewaterhouseCoopers, who raised more than £7,000. Other walkers included the Mayor of Brighton & Hove, Councillor Anne Meadows, and the two Brighton MPs Caroline Lucas and Simon Kirby. Stonewall fundraising director Catherine Bosworth said that the money would support its work in primary and secondary schools. YouGov research for the campaign group found that homophobia was endemic in Britain’s schools. It reported that nine in ten secondary school teachers and more than two in five primary school teachers as saying that children and young people, regardless of their sexual orientation, currently experience homophobic bullying, name calling or harassment in their schools.



A charity that supports the homeless, vulnerable women and young people has started a £250,000 appeal to enable it to buy the building that houses its drop-in centre. Off The Fence is aiming to buy 37 Portland Road in Hove to put its service for the homeless on a steadier footing. Off The Fence currently runs one of the largest day centres for homeless people in the city. Last year 7,400 people come through the doors. The charity also runs a busy schools programme, providing lunchtime clubs and a course in “building healthy relationships” to help transform the lives of young people. At its premises in Portslade, Off The Fence also supports vulnerable women, providing a drop-in centre for those facing a crisis, enabling them to receive support and regain dignity in life.


he rain may have claimed another day’s play at the County Ground in Hove last Wednesday but that didn’t dampen the spirits of Adam MaharajNewman. The 23-year-old batsman – and occasional wicketkeeper – was busy spreading the word about his sport to the youngsters of Brighton and Hove. He was at the heart of the launch of an initiative to increase the number of boys and girls playing cricket in the area. Adam came to Brighton University to do a degree in sports and fitness having been to William Parker School in Hastings – or William Parker Sports College he adds that Keith Greenfield, the director of the as it’s now known. The school has produced a Sussex cricket academy, is a former pupil at Falmer. number of footballers including former Brighton & Adam said that he was pleased by Hove Albion skipper Dean Hammond the take-up at Falmer – at the and England international Gareth Brighton Aldridge Community Barry. It also turned out Michael “Our goal Academy (BACA) – where he spends Yardy, the current captain of Sussex half his working week, and at the County Cricket Club. is to create Portslade Aldridge Community His mission – at the two Aldridge Academy (PACA), where he spends the academies at Portslade and Falmer – a reputation other half of the week. On top of is to spread the reach of cricket lessons, he runs lunchtime and afterthrough the schools, into the feeder for cricket school clubs. And since starting his schools and into the community. He is also developing links with local clubs excellence” job in January he has already seen the signs of enthusiasm in all the to give boys and girls who show talent feeder schools for both secondaries. and potential more opportunity to It’s no surprise that BACA principal Phil Hogg said: excel. It’s the route that helped Adam to become a “We want to make cricket accessible to all girls and county youth player at 15. boys at our academy schools regardless of age, He said: “There was cricket at school and my ability or background. Our longer-term aim is to teacher was also involved in the local club. My mum develop a first-class cricket academy on both sites is Trinidadian, from the West Indies, and her dad was to allow gifted cricketers to excel and compete at the Indian. My dad played when he was younger. My highest level.” sister played at regional level. My mum is a scorer. Charlotte Edwards, captain of the England It’s a cricket-mad family.” Women’s World Cup winning side, has already visited They are all involved in cricket still. Adam, who both schools. Her visit was part of the Aldridge plays for Hastings in the Sussex Premier League, is a Foundation’s strategy of trying to raise aspirations Sussex and England fan. And with the first test by showing pupils what is possible. match against the West Indies due to start on PACA principal Stuart McLaughlin said: “Our goal is Thursday, he said: “It’ll be me versus my mum when to create a reputation for cricket excellence at both the test match starts.” academies. I hope that the Aldridge Cricket Academy He is aware of the class connotations around the will not only encourage all of our students to county game in particular and said: “It’s a perception participate in more sport but also make us the that lots of people have. The barriers are not choice for aspiring cricketers within Brighton and necessarily true. Our aim is not just to increase beyond.” With the support of the Sussex Cricket participation but also to find the next generation of Board as well as Sussex County Cricket Club, it’s first class players.” He points out that Mike Yardy certainly given Adam a boundary to aim for. ■ went to the same state school that he attended. And

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latest brighton & hove news

7 days of headlines with phil mills Sussex police trained with non-lethal weapons, pub piano, new skate park and church on Twitter


re the days of the unarmed bobby over? A total of 160 Sussex officers are to be trained to use the Taser gun – and that's in addition to those police tooled up with lethal weapons. The electric shock Taser disrupts control of muscles and normally leaves targets incapacitated and on the floor. The force claims the nonlethal Taser reduces force needed by officers when dealing with violent offenders and cuts the number of incidents where fully armed police are needed. The force insists the public will not see the Taser in “dayto-day” use but what do you think? Email: Meanwhile, the father of Brighton murder victim Jeff Burrows, stabbed at his Norfolk Square flat, paid tribute to his "cherished son, a devoted husband to his late wife Brione, a beloved brother and a loving uncle". David Burrows said, “No words can describe our complete devastation at the callous and cowardly murder of Jeff. During his seventeen years in Brighton Jeff made many dear friends. We are all numb in our grief.” A man has been charged. On a brighter note...they should rename the TV show “Brighton's Got Talent” for round practically every corner of this city it seems there's someone worthy of four “yesses”. Rockin’ Mark Vis is stunning audiences as he rolls through North Laine and the The Lanes with his mobile pub piano. This Chas-andDave-rolled-into-one is a part-time school teacher who's out to “bring the

Latest Blogs Read all these and more, now online at What She Said – Carla Read’s beauty and fashion blog: “Last week I learnt that one of my favourite things about business meetings in Covent Garden is how close I am to the Mac Pro Store at all times!” LV Loves – JBPR’s Lisa finally meets her celeb crush: “ I found myself being pulled into a tango style clinch with Peter Andre for real. At one point he pulled me into

piano back to the communal instrument it used to be”. He's hosting sing-alongs in pubs and at weddings, and provides song sheets for audiences. And he's designed his wheeled joanna to fit through any door. Check Mark out at Smash and grab – a drug dealer was captured after he leapt from the dock and threw himself out of a window at Lewes Crown Court where he was jailed for 12 months. The 28-year-old was grabbed by security guards and police. Meanwhile, down at the council, plans were unveiled for a £44 million new building on the site of the derelict 13-storey Aston House in Preston Road. There’ll be apartments, offices and studios. “About time too”, read the email from one Latest 7 reader. And land left undeveloped for 15 years in Church Street, Brighton, is now earmarked for family homes, retail and offices, after the scheme was approved by the

a clinch to show me how he gets into character for his shows (not once but twice) and scolded me for not looking directly in to his eyes.” Single Mother Stories – Melanie Robinson blogs about motherhood: “First Born has now had his 18th birthday celebrations! Let’s not forget that the walk I am doing is in commemoration of his birthday to raise money for SENSE the deafblind charity here in the UK. This has been

planning committee. In addition, work is about to start on two new skateparks for local youngsters, in Woodingdean and Hollingdean. Skaters at the Deans Youth Project in Woodingdean have been involved in designing and fundraising for the skatepark at Bexhill Road playground in Woodingdean. Cost – £130,000. An old fad is coming back into vogue – Sussex business partners Mo Salvage and Rae Guroo were fed up with blustery winds ruining family outings and have set up Hazydaze to make fabric windbreaks both for the beach and beach huts. “After spending another windy day on the coast we both came to the conclusion that a decent windbreak can make your day,” said Mo. “We wondered if you could still get traditional canvas breaks and after doing some research, realised there was a gap in the market, especially for people with beach huts.” Rae said, “We are both creative but practical and so by the end of the afternoon we had come up with a modern twist on a trusted design. And that was the start of Hazydaze.” Demand is strong so watch out for this business success story: Lastly, the new Bishop of Chichester is spreading the word of God in a very modern way. The Right Rev. Dr Martin Warner wants to turn Twitter fans into followers of the Lord and has opened account @bishopofwhitby – and he already has over 600 followers.

What do you think of Preston Road plans?

a real time of reflection for me about both my son’s journey and ours as a family with deafblindness over the last 18 years.” To read more, log on now:

We need you! Blog for

Marina Life Brighton Marina’s Kirsty Pollard welcomes The Boat Project for the Fringe Festival

righton Marina is delighted to team up with Brighton’s fabulous Fringe Festival and bring you two exciting events during May. The Boat Project is part of Artists Taking the Lead, a series of 12 public art commissions across the UK to celebrate the London 2012 Cultural Olympiad. The Boat Project is the winning commission for the South East region and is funded by Arts Council England. The Boat Project, by Lone Twin returns to Brighton and Hove for the first major stop on her maiden voyage. The boat, crafted by a fearlessly adventurous team of boat builders and volunteers, is a living archive of people’s stories and lives, a 30ft seafaring yacht made from wooden items donated by the community


The boat will arrive at Pontoon 6, in front of Pizza Express at 13.00 on Saturday 19 May. Come and join the welcome party as she is greeted at the Boardwalk by the Brighton delegation. There’s loads going on in Brighton to celebrate the boat’s visit. The boat will bid a fond farewell on Sunday 27 May at 15.00; cast off and continue on its maiden voyage. Before bidding adieu the boat will be blessed by the Bishop of Horsham. During the service local youngsters will bring fishing nets containing their pictures and stories. As she ups anchor the Carousel Singers will serenade her heading out to open water.

They’re all blogging, are you? We are looking for the very best bloggers covering topics from politics, music and food, to health, fitness and everything Brighton. For the chance to be included, email us now with an example of your work or a link to your blog

Kirsty Pollard, Brighton Marina’s Marketing and Events Manager

To be involved, email us now:


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latest brighton & hove news

they generated from the Brighton Energy Co-op chairman Will Cottrell feed-in-tariff, a government-backed subsidy that is guaranteed for 25 years. It said that this would be used to pay annual interest to investors and fund community projects such as insulating Insight, comment and analysis homes to make them more energy efficient. from the editor of Brighton The team behind the & Hove News, Frank le Duc energy co-op will hold an event for potential investors at the Friends Meeting House in Ship Street, Brighton, at 7.45pm next Wednesday (16 May). Caroline Lucas, the Green MP for Brighton Pavilion, and the incoming leader of the council Jason Kitcat are expected to attend. The share offer will run Brighton Energy Co-op is asking local people to from Wednesday 16 May to invest in solar technology for a new generation Thursday 14 June. Interested parties can he Brighton Energy Co-operative is to set up the first community-owned make a pledge to buy solar power scheme in the area. The pioneering project is looking for local shares before the launch supporters to help it raise £200,000 through a share offer. Potential on the Brighton Energy investors can pledge anything from £400 to £20,000. So far more than Co-operative website £40,000 has been pledged with £1,000 being the average. One of those behind the scheme, Will Cottrell, the energy co-op’s chairman, Mr Cottrell said: “We are delighted to be able to bring this offer to was inspired by his travels around Denmark three years ago. He said: “Every Brighton and Hove residents. It’s a great opportunity for local people to get town and village seemed to have a wind turbine or two. They just pooled their involved in and own a renewable energy scheme in the city. By supporting resources and bought them. the generation of clean energy, they are helping Brighton and Hove reduce “When I came back I looked around to see if anyone its reliance on polluting fossil fuels, lower its carbon was doing anything like that here. There were one or emissions and become one of the country’s “It’s a great opportunity dioxide two wind co-ops, mostly in the north. But we were greenest cities.” among the first solar co-ops in the country.” There is While wind turbines have provoked varying for local people to get another in Lewes. degrees of controversy, from the PortZED scheme at Mr Cottrell, 40, who runs an online travel business, Shoreham Harbour and the Rampion offshore wind involved in and own a said: “I built a little wind turbine in the winter of 2009farm proposal, solar panel has made quieter renewable energy 10. Being hands on demystified the process for me.” progress. The government’s feed-in tariff scheme But solar power seemed to be more viable and, as a has helped promote the spread of solar power by scheme in the city” businessman, the financial side of things had to work paying people when they generate more power than as well. It was, he said, a case of “blending the they use and feed it in to the national grid. community idea with sound business principles”. There was a political row when the government cut the feed-in tariff The funds will be used to buy and install solar panels on the roofs at subsidies. This prompted the Brighton Energy Co-op to shelve an earlier share Shoreham Port, St George’s Church in Kemp Town and City Coast Church in North offer until there was more certainty over the finances. The subsidy is being Street, Portslade. Work is expected to start next month on the first of six cut again in July but there has been more notice this time, enabling buildings at the Hove Enterprise Centre at Shoreham Harbour. The port buildings businesses and individuals to plan. and the two churches will receive free electricity for 25 years in exchange for The green industries are important to Brighton and Hove. They are providing hosting arrays of solar panels equivalent to the size of a football pitch. jobs, cutting carbon emissions and fuel bills for homes as well as businesses. The panels are expected to generate enough electricity over their 25-year We won’t replace the carbon fuels of coal, oil and gas overnight, or even in the life to power 40 homes and save 1,085 tonnes of carbon dioxide. Brighton next few years. But we need the pioneers – the next generation of power Energy Co-operative said that it would receive income from the electricity that generation – so that our children and grandchildren aren’t left in the dark. ■


Power sharing T

LATEST INBOX RE: news – “Older Brighton and Hove homes need mass insulation scheme” Brilliant! A potential – and realistic – suggestion for funding which would not depend on the cranking and creaking machinations of the Green Deal. It would be great to build up political momentum for this solution so that we could just all get on with it and serve the city well. Frances Hunt, via RE: Latest Opinion (LS576) I’ve been to Stoke... really? And

I’m from the poor deprived East End myself. I think even with it’s problems East London has got rather a lot more going for it than Stoke, by most measures you care to mention! Mark Ede, via RE: Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus: Guilty Treasures – review An amazingly good show. My personal favourite had to be the beautiful solo by the handsome Asian singing ‘Chasing Cars’. Almost had me in tears Jason, via I went to see this performance of the BGMC and I think they all did an absolutely amazing job. It was fantastic. My friends and I are all hooked and can’t wait until their

> Have your say To comment on any of our news and features or to let us know what’s on your mind email You can also write to Letters, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH

next performance. The singing was sensational and I loved, loved, loved their rendition of David Bowie’s song... especially with the extra sound effects which had me in tears of laughter.

Anna Collingham, via RE: The Cheeky Chappy – review A wonderful show and a top class performance by Jamie Kenna, who really brought Max Miller to life on stage. Great supporting cast as well – one of the best shows I’ve ever seen at the Brighton Fringe. Gary Wareham, via RE: Lady In The Van – review I must have seen the wrong play! I thought the two Alan Bennett’s were genius and the whole play (barring the terrible neighbours) were brilliant! Colin Hall, via

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latest brighton & hove news

the bigissue

Power to the chain gang? Brighton and Hove has rejected the prospect of Boris Vs Ken. Frank le Duc reports on our mayor


ho needs a Boris for Brighton? What about a Ken on the coast? No thanks. Here, we like our mayors to be dignified, civil and ceremonial. We even voted for it to stay that way just over ten years ago. And last month the council reaffirmed the result of that referendum even though elected mayors have been back in the frame lately. Ministers say that they want electors to know who’s making the decisions that govern our lives. So if it’s not the mayor, who really decides what happens in Brighton and Hove? Until relatively recently it used to be councillors in various committee meetings, just as it was in Victorian times. Then we switched and invested power in a leader and cabinet – modelled on the style of the Prime Minister and his cabinet. But now we’re going back to the future. Nine key committees will make most of the decisions that affect the way our city is run. The full council will settle any differences and sign off the biggest decisions. There will still be a leader of the council. From Thursday 17 May it will be 33-year-old Councillor Jason Kitcat. And the mayor? He or she will chair meetings of the full council and have a casting vote. At the same time the mayor will be the public face of the city and the council. On Thursday 17 May the current council leader Councillor Bill Randall will become the first Green mayor of Brighton and Hove, taking over from Councillor Anne Meadows, a Labour member. He will welcome major conferences to the Brighton Centre such as the 8,000 Liberal Democrats holding their annual gathering here in September. He might hand out the trophies and certificates to youngsters at say, a youth group’s annual prizegiving. He will open new buildings, greet official visitors and eat dozens of buffet meals, lunches and dinners. It remains a largely ceremonial post.

REFERENDUM REJECTION Not all our councillors are so keen on the new arrangements. Graham Cox, a Conservative and the most recently elected member, told the meeting that approved the return of committees: “I’m probably in a minority here. I actually voted for an elected mayor when I had the opportunity and I think Lord Bassam would have made a good elected mayor. Councillor Theobald

Mayor Anne Meadows visited 12 bowling clubs in one day

would make a good elected mayor. I think Councillor Kitcat would probably make a good elected mayor too.” While Geoffrey Theobald was an obvious candidate for his praise as a fellow Tory, his plaudits for Labour’s Lord Bassam and Jason Kitcat of the Green Party surprised some in the chamber. But 62 per cent of those who voted in the referendum in Brighton and Hove rejected the idea of concentrating power in the hands of one individual, no matter how talented. Less than two weeks ago ten more big cities put the policy to the test at the government’s behest. And in nine of those cities voters turned down the change. Few cities have embraced the idea. One of those that has – Liverpool – dispensed with one of the more troublesome aspects of democracy and didn’t even bother with a referendum.

GULLY FOR MAYOR? In Hartlepool, the result of the first mayoral election in 2002 was a triumph for the local equivalent of Brighton & Hove Albion’s mascot, Gully. It was won by H’Angus the Monkey after he deployed gorilla tactics – in the form of “free bananas”. Mind you, the man in the monkey suit has since been elected a third time, giving some politicians food for thought. And while most have welcomed the return of the committee system to Brighton and Hove, the way that they will work is not without its critics. Councillor Theobald, who leads the opposition Conservative group on the council, accused the Greens of rigging the numbers. The Greens have 23 of the 54 seats on the council. But despite being a minority administration, the party has a majority on the key committees, with the blessing of Labour. The reasoning is that this will enable it to conduct council business more effectively and get things done more efficiently. Councillor Theobald said that previous minority administrations – Conservative and Labour – carved up the committees fairly and in proportion to the total number of seats held by the different parties. Each party achieved policy goals, he said, despite lacking a majority on committees. He called for his Green rivals to show a greater respect for the principles of democracy, adding: “This is an important point.”

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BRIGHTON’S FIRST GREEN FIRST CITIZEN So what can we expect from the first Green Mayor of Brighton and Hove? One key prospect is a lack of party politics. Whoever takes the role is supposed to be neutral – like the Speaker in the House of Commons – or above the political fray rather like the Queen. That’s a big ask for people who have often spent a lifetime spinning the party line. Just ask Pat Hawkes, the former Labour councillor who was Mayor of Brighton when the Conservatives returned for their annual conference in 1988. It was the Tories’ first time in town since the Grand Hotel bombing. Her critical remarks coloured the official welcome and prompted booing in the Brighton Centre.

FORMAL YET INFORMAL When he steps down as leader of the council, Councillor Randall intends becoming a model first citizen – but with some subtle differences. Although the role is steeped in tradition – just check out the Mayor’s chains and formal robes – Councillor Randall is expected to adapt some of the mayoral customs. He emphasised that this was in no way intended as a criticism of those who had held the post before him. As well as accepting many of the invitations that pour in to the Mayor’s office, he is expected to highlight particular causes and organisations that are dear to his heart. He will aim to avoid campaigning in the conventional sense. But he hopes to use his position positively while steering clear of party political controversy.

“It’s like being Doctor Who. The role remains the same no matter who plays it” LESS CHRISTIANITY AND CARBON The mayor chairs the meetings of the full council and traditionally the mayor’s chaplain says prayers at the start of proceedings. Councillor Randall does not intend to appoint a chaplain for the year. Instead he intends to invite representatives of various religions to share the equivalent of a civic ‘thought for the day’. He said recently that although he’s not religious, he’s not anti-Christian either. But he does hope to reflect some of the diversity of Brighton and Hove in an appropriate way. His choice of charities underlines his interest in children and the vulnerable. He’s chosen The Martlet’s, the LGBT youth project Allsorts and Brighton Women’s Centre. The fundraising mayoral dinner usually held at Christmas could well turn into a different sort of function – perhaps replaced by a party for the less fortunate. It will be interesting to see whether councillors or senior officers play a part in reviving an old custom – where the bosses wait on the workers, or in this case, those discernibly less fortunate. And while the Greens included the sale of the mayor’s CD1 numberplate in their budget this year, don’t be surprised to see the mayor’s car up for sale too. Or at least being replaced by an even greener machine. The hybrid Prius may not be green enough. The new mayor is likely to be taken to and from engagements in an electric car.

STRIKING A BALANCE So we can expect a new twist on some old customs but carried off with respect for a role that the Greens previously seemed not to hold in particularly high regard. Modern mayors need a formidable mix of formality and informality – and the judgment to decide which is required at any given moment. Few would doubt Councillor Randall’s capacity for dignity. But it will take every wile of a veteran politician to keep all shades of opinion happy in a council chamber split three ways. He has though already shown a capacity for inclusiveness across the political divide while serving as leader and a generosity of spirit in giving credit where it’s due to his political opponents. These traits will stand him in good stead as he brings his own understated style to serving in his new symbolic role. ■ Mayor Anne Meadows tested a mobility scooter on Brighton's streets with Chris Kift

COUNCILLOR ANNE MEADOWS – MAYOR OF BRIGHTON AND HOVE “I’ve loved being mayor. It’s like being Doctor Who. The role remains the same no matter who plays it. I didn’t think of that line – I’m swiping it from the High Sheriff! But it has truly been an incredible year. “You hide your own politics and let the city speak through you. I’m just so proud that the city I was born and brought up in, I’ve been able to represent. All the early mornings and late nights have been worth it. It’s hard work but it is worth it. Everywhere you go people are so pleased to see you. “I’ve learnt an awful lot. I’d been a councillor for 17 years when I became mayor and I thought I knew quite a bit about Brighton and Hove. As a councillor you get to know a lot of what goes on in your ward. To see that replicated right across the city is quite amazing. “It’s been an incredible and quite humbling experience. There are just so many voluntary groups and organisations out there. I’ve made it my mission to invite as many of them as possible to the Mayor’s parlour for tea. “I’ve given out certificates to Cubs and Scouts. I’ve met centenarians and small children. I’ve waved off floats at Pride and I went along to Student Pride. I’ve met older people’s groups in places like Hangleton and Portslade. I’ve welcomed royalty. I’ve never really met the rich and famous before. “Doing the memorial and remembrance services has been fantastic. When the Princess of Wales’s Royal Regiment came marching through the streets, that was an amazing experience. (They had just returned from a tour of duty in Afghanistan.) I had to make a speech and the crowd were clapping. It was an amazing experience. “I love dressing up. I’ve been joking that I’m going to get the chain photographed and put on a T-shirt. And when I get withdrawal symptoms, I’ll go and put it on. “Everywhere you go, people offer you cake and a cup of tea. I take the tea but I’ve had to try really hard not to always take the cake. Mind you, you never know when you’re going to eat. One day I had to go round 12 bowling clubs at the start of the season and each one offered me a glass of sherry. You want to be polite but as the day went on I had to refuse or I’d have been sozzled. “I’m sure Bill [Randall – who takes over the role this week] will embrace being mayor. The more you put in, the more you get out of it. It’s an amazing experience and I hope he enjoys it.”

BRIGHTON’S UNOFFICIAL MAYOR Mayor Anne Meadows introduced comedian Terry Garoghan as he came on to the stage at the Dome at the start of the last ever Brighton – The Musical. And she did so with a rhyme that she’d written especially for the occasion. Her verse tribute to Terry who is known affectionately as Brighton’s Unofficial Mayor – or BUM for short – had a packed house laughing before he had a chance to break into his first comic song. She said: “He really truly didn’t know what I was going to say. In the wings he asked me if I was all right. I told him not to worry about me. He didn’t have a clue that I’d written a rhyme. But you couldn’t introduce Terry in an ordinary way!” He escorted Anne to her seat after she earned the first laughs of the evening. But not before he trouped her round the stalls to affectionate cheers and applause. He has since supported Anne at an event for her mayoral charities – the Sussex Beacon, Rise and the Fed Centre for Independent Living. She has also enjoyed the support all year of her husband Tony and teenage sons Harry and Scott.

012_LS577_LatestOpinion_editorial 11/05/2012 16:32 Page 2



Outspoken Latest Bill

Festival! Watch these shows online at presented by Lynn Ruth Miller

FESTIVAL! 4 In Festival! 4 presenter Lynn Ruth Miller reaches for the stars and there’s none bigger than God! Brighton Goes Gospel, the choir of a hundred Arethas deliver soul power like no-one else. The late Gil Scott Heron and Secret Policeman’s Ball comic Hannibal Buress feature in Vick’s Pick of the Fringe. Andrew Kay meets up with actress and Jive Monkey cabaret owner Laura Nixon who says Heaven is boring. Well, you can’t smoke, drink and have sex so she’s brought the stars back to Earth and to Jive Monkey in her show Alive and Swinging featuring Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston! It’s fun, it’s Festival! 4 from thelatest.TV FESTIVAL! 5 What a mother of a show Festival! 5 is. A Bad Mother, in fact, is the title of Meryl O’Rourke’s show which the critics in Edinburgh said was nearly perfect but Meryl thinks we should probably take out the word nearly and we agree. There’s more fab female comedy from The Peep Show’s Isy Suttie who charms our entertainment editor Victoria Nangle. The Corrie killer Richard Hillman, alias actor Brian Capron, goes from soaps to serious, playing Gogol at The Latest MusicBar and Andrew Kay goes to see Trisha Brown, dreamthinkspeak, Interiors, Motor Show and Land’s End. When does he sleep? FESTIVAL 6 Paul Levy checks out the private lives of the rich and famous without doing any phone hacking! Paul interviews Ross Drury whose version of Noel Coward’s Private Lives is playing so site specific appropriately at The Grand Hotel in Brighton. And talking of comedy Brighton’s personal comedy trainer to the stars is worshipped, sorry interviewed by Victoria Nangle. Hail the great Jill Edwards. Plus there’s amazing footage of Eau Eau 7 and their synchronised swimming show.

Read Latest Blogs at

Inside Britain’s Got Talent

This week Bill Smith hands his column over to Britain’s Got Talent star Lynn Ruth Miller for an inside look at the ITV1 show. It’s got laughter, it's got tears... it's got Simon Cowell


very now and then, opportunity knocks on your door in mysterious ways. If you ask me to do just about anything that won’t put me in traction or murder an innocent bystander, I’ll give it a go. I was cracking rude one-liners in Edinburgh for my one woman show last August when a young, unbelievably enthusiastic girl smiled at me and said, “How would you like to try out for Britain’s Got Talent?” “When do you want me?” I said. It was that devil-may-care attitude that took me back to Edinburgh for the first round of try-outs in October.

Round one I realised the process was a bit of a soap opera and the purpose was to create a balanced TV show with a pre-decided proportion of singers, dancers, novelty acts and several “tear your heart out” stories. I hobnobbed with a band of Glaswegians in kilts with brilliant red, green and blue hair and a fantastic attitude, three girls who

thought they were the second millennium version of The Andrew Sisters, and Stuart Crout who invented a combination ukulele, guitar, piano and banjo all in one and had practised his craft on the streets of Edinburgh since he was 11 years old. The initial weeding out process is not done by the stars we see pushing buzzers on our TV screen. The film crew create two minute clips for the producers. It is these people who spend several months deciding who they want for each sequence. At this stage the best part is that no-one knows that day if they made the grade. That way, the decision comes on your computer where you can absorb it in your own way. In America they loved to film you dissolved in tears.

Round two I found out in late January that I had made the first cut and was asked to return for an exceptionally long day to meet the judges. We were allowed

“I realised how the people in Paris felt during their revolution as they waited in line at the guillotine”

to bring four friends to cheer us on. I am from another country and of a certain age; the few friends I have here are in their dotage and do not have the stamina for a 10-12 hour day. I do have a smattering of young ones and one brought me a sandwich to sustain me. Her reward was Simon Cowell’s autograph.

Round three The performers are whittled down to the top 20 or so in each city where the try-outs took place. The highlight of the afternoon for me was meeting Stephen Mulhern. We bantered back and forth and I agreed to be his gran. We decided if I actually won I would buy him a house and, you know, I would have done it. He is charming. When our big moment arrived, we sat in a long, airless hall behind the stage and waited to meet the judges. We heard one performer after another buzzed off the stage and I realised how the people in Paris felt during their revolution as they waited in line at the guillotine. I thought: “I will never get through this. Why on earth did I set myself up for this kind of public rejection?” I did my two minutes and to my amazement, no-one buzzed me. Simon Cowell told me in no uncertain terms that I bored him. Was he acting? Did he mean it? I will never know. Alesha Dixon pointed out that it was unusual to have a performer my age on the programme. The three, Alesha along with Amanda Holden and David Walliams voted for me and I got through!

Eliminated The next phase took place at the end of February in London. There were about 100 acts from all over the country, the top winners from all the previous try-outs. At 5.30pm that day, I was ushered into a room with the four judges and Amanda Holden told us we were eliminated. She was very gracious and kind but for the other two in that room with me she could have just as well thrust a knife into their hearts, the effect was the same. The young girl with me was devastated and sobbed for the next hour. I tried to console her but there was no way to stop those tears. I looked at this child, barely 17 years old, who labelled herself as a failure and I knew then that despite the entertainment value of the programme, its cost was far too high to those who lose and even higher for those who make it to the top only to realise that the top goes nowhere. I am in Brighton now and I cannot count the number of people who have stopped me on the street to ask, “Are you the lady I saw on Britain’s Got Talent?” The truth is that I am wallowing in even more fame than I expected without getting anywhere near the top. What can be better than that? Lynn Ruth Miller now presents a daily TV show Festival!, the guide to the best of Brighton Festival and Brighton Fringe. Watch it at ■

013_LS577_open university_Editorial 11/05/2012 11:16 Page 2


OPENING DOORS Flexible learning at The Open University


f you’re looking to develop your career to a senior level, research a fascinating subject or become a leader in your field, then The Open University can help, with world-class postgraduate study that fits around you. As the UK’s biggest university it offers over 30 taught postgraduate programmes including an international recognised MBA. Highly respected by employers, the OU takes a work-based approach to learning. This means that you can put theory into practice straight away, bringing tangible benefits both for you and your employer. OU qualifications are developed by leading academics and industry experts, which ensures that their quality and career relevance will support future career goals. Amongst OU students under 25, one third have started work in a professional occupation within six months of graduating. With lots of choice, flexibility and support, students can study at their own pace – 71 per cent of Open University students are able to continue working while they study. Recent South East MBA graduate Carolyn Roseberry commented on the OU’s flexible approach: “My MBA is a huge achievement for me; as a sole parent I have to work during the day so studying the OU way meant I could study in my own time and fit it around my work and home commitments. The


organisational skills I have learned on my MBA journey have certainly provided me with better research and written skills and have been invaluable at work every day.” Studying flexibly with the OU is a choice more and more students are making and innovative technology enables people to study where, when and how they want. OU fees include all relevant materials, tuition, assessment and any residential schools and flexible payment options can help you spread the cost of your study. To find out more about postgraduate courses you can visit a special event on Saturday 19 May, from 12.30pm–4pm, at the Jubilee Library, Brighton, BN1 1GE. Tutors from the MBA, MA English, MA Education and MA History programmes will be available to talk about the course content, structure and the knowledge you’ll gain on these programmes. An experienced careers adviser will help you understand the job market and your career potential and general advice on courses, fees and study will also be available. No appointment is necessary, just call in on the day. For further information on the event visit, or email

014_LS577_snapshots-comps _Editorial 10/05/2012 15:32 Page 2


Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Only In Brighton’s Ric Morris

Only In Brighton is a walking tour that celebrates all that is interesting and unusual about the city. It’s a curiously fact-filled, tongue-in-cheek look at Brighton. How many people know that George Everest – who gave his name to the mountain – is buried in Hove? Or that a song performed at the Brighton Dome helped trigger the Portuguese Revolution? Brighton has so much that is distinctive, everybody can find out something about it they didn’t know before.

Ric Morris has been a qualified Blue Badge Guide for 11 years and runs tours in Brighton and Soho. He has a fun and unique walking tour, ‘Only In Brighton’, which started last year during the Brighton Fringe. It was so popular that Ric decided to continue it throughout the summer. This year it has been revamped with a new route and designed to appeal to both locals and visitors. Only In Brighton runs every Thursday to Saturday throughout May at 7pm from outside Al Duomo restaurant. It costs £7 and there is no need to book.



Polaroid Eyewear and Sussex-based charity, Sightsavers, are offering Latest 7 readers the chance to win a pair of Polaroid sunglasses worth £99. With slender ebony frames, these 1950s influenced sunglasses are one of the many iconic designs in Polaroid’s new Best Under the Sun Collection which draws on designs from Polaroid’s archives (  Polaroid Eyewear has teamed up with Sightsavers ( to raise money to treat some of the 39 million blind people living in the developing world. Polaroid Eyewear will donate £1 to Sightsavers for every pair of its Best Under the Sun Collection sunglasses sold during 2012. To be in with a chance of winning a pair, answer this question: Q In what year did Sightsavers first incarnation open its doors?

To find out more and to be in with a chance of winning the boxset of the full fourth series answer this question:


Grab your crucifixes, or if you’re feeling more vampire friendly maybe a microwaved bottle of True Blood, to toast the release of the fourth series of this hot and steamy supernatural series. With vampires and werewolves already circling Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), plus Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) in particular, it’s about time some new supernaturals entered the foray. Hello witches!

Q What is the name of Sookie Stackhouse’s brother?



with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 28 May 2012.

015_LS577_celebcity_Celebcity 11/05/2012 14:33 Page 2



Celebcity with Jo Brooks


LAWSON AT HMV Fresh from tearing up The Haunt earlier this year, Brighton based band Lawson are returning to HMV to perform and sign copies of their debut single ‘When She Was Mine’. On 28 May the band will hit HMV at Churchill Square to show just why they’ve been building such a fanbase across the UK. The launch will be followed by a tour in support of the new single, which sees Lawson play their biggest headline show to date at Kings College London on 30 May. 23187452

Rizzle Kicks visit children’s hospital, Moshi Moshi skip causes a stir & Adele isn’t getting married Pics: Jim Holden


Adele ignited rumours that she was ready to get married to her Brighton beau Simon Konecki when she wore a big sparkler to the Brit Awards in February. However, she took to Twitter on her birthday to finally squash the rumour, along with a few others circulating online. ng ei ‘b of “Had a lovely birthday,” Adele commented before assuring us; “I (yes her Chloe Madeley Richard and Judy’ didn’t get a cake from Rih Rih & I’m not engaged, blah blah.” of er ht ug ly da us the some serio Adele has been dating Brighton local Konecki since being in g in lg du in ren. fame) introduced to each other last year by none other than gingerriend Marc War PDA with boyf en to watch Steel haired crooner Ed Sheeran. It looks like we shouldn’t be holding The pair had bethe Theatre Royal our breath for a seaside wedding anytime soon. Having said that, at s lia no l ag M stars mutua there’s probably no harm in indulging in a hat, just in case. Brighton, which Welch. se ni De nd ie fr


Teen spirit T

eenagers being treated at the Royal Alexandra Children’s Hospital enjoyed a surprise visit from Rizzle Kicks on Sunday 29 April. The Brighton hip-hop duo, Jordan Stephens and Harley AlexanderSule, both 20, put their support behind children’s charity Rockinghorse by officially opening its new adolescent rooms at the hospital. The project, which cost £8,250, included the refurbishment of three rooms with comfortable sofas and chairs, DVD players, table football, game consoles, and a pool table. Children and young people played on the equipment with Rizzle Kicks, before the famous pair went on to meet and have their photos taken with other children staying on the wards. Jordan said: “It’s important to have a space to be away from medical procedures, especially if you’re young and in hospital. It was really cool to meet some of the children here – they were all lovely.”


A Brighton art installation hit the headlines last week when artist David Batchelor unveiled his latest work ‘Skip’ outside Moshi Moshi as part of Brighton Festival. Quickly snapped by national newspapers including The Mirror and The Daily Mail, Batchelor’s piece soon caused a very public divide over whether this was truly art, or just (literally) a load of rubbish. The skip, adorned with a neon yellow rim, is hoped to provoke opinion and to make people ‘stop and think’ according to show curators, and it certainly has!

CHILDREN’S LAUREATE I love the city during the Brighton Festival but I especially love the 26 Letters children’s events (programmed by the lovely Hilary Cooke). Last week I took my family to see Children’s Laureate Julia Donaldson’s show at The Dome. The Gruffalo author was on great form, joined on stage by the illustrator of many of her books Lydia Monks, her husband Malcolm and two great-nieces Lola and Amelie for what was just a brilliant family show. Great start to the Festival! Have you spotted a celeb in the city?

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to

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10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday until 30th June 2012 excluding bank holidays.  Only one voucher per table.  Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.


Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

UP THE PROVERBIAL! More newly-minted proverbs for the twentyfirst century Evil be who evil does. It is better to have food and no hair, than to have no food and no hair. Skyrockets in flight, Afternoon delight. Skyrockets in the morning Afternoon warning.

People who live in glass houses are likely to be found in the pages of architectural magazines. First the man takes a drink Then the drink takes a drink Then another man takes the drink Then a fight breaks out. And the police get called.

Beans five, Peas six, Kiss a maiden, Pick up sticks. Bacon is to sausage as leaving is to going.

Lord Pig, Baron Goat, Viscount Wildebeest – all shall be smote.

Wayward is the path that leads to Waywardness.


Ken Hom, Hudson and Halls, Wash their hands when nature calls.


A man uses a mobile to take a photograph, but would not use his camera to make a phone call. Unless he was James Bond.

Etiquette with Hetty Kwett No. 3 Dear Hetty, As a form of protest for allowing the ordination of women bishops I am posting a bowel movement (one of my own I hasten to add!) to Dr. Rowan Williams, and am hoping it will arrive at Lambeth Palace while he is still incumbent, as it’s his face I really want to imagine crumpling up still further in horror when he opens the padded envelope. To make extra sure it gets to him in time, I want it correctly addressed, but he has many titles – Doctor, Reverend, Archbishop – which should I use? Reverend Peter Hinchcliff, St. Martin’s Church, Hove Dear Peter, Few people realise this, but the Archbishop of Canterbury is actually a Privy Counsellor, and as such is addressed as The Most Reverend and Right Honourable

• Careless Whisper (Wispa) • Life On Mars • Take Five • Time Out From The World • Matchmaker, Matchmaker


• Star 'Spangle'-d Banner • Breakaway • Wham Rap Band • Moon River (two 'Drifters') • Ogden’s Nut Gone Flake

the Archbishop of Canterbury. However, according to Debrett's, on the occasion of sending him human ordure through the post, he is instead to be addressed as ‘His Eminence’. Hope this has been of help, and good luck! Hetty Kwett XXX

Photos: MCP

Mad Matt Matt Whistler dabbles in some magic


id you here the one about the man that walked into a joke shop? He came out with more tricks up his sleeve than a court jester at a Magic Circle initiation. There’s a new shop in Brighton that takes me back to my childhood, the days when stuffed handkerchiefs into my fist would instantaneously disappear and filled wine glasses didn't ever spill a drop when dangled upside down. The shop is called Frighton and it’s run by Doctor Simpo. It’s a Brighton location and purveyors of all things that are fun-tastic. But this is not just any ordinary shop, it’s stacked with weird freaky stuff and accidentally knocking a chewing gum finger trap off the shelf is part of the intimate experience of Dr Simpo, who can be found if you look hard

enough, through the stacks of jokes, tricks and fancy dress, sat behind his counter in another portal wearing a huge pink wig with bones sticking out of it. Enter at your own peril, leave at Brighton’s peril. Spud guns! Remember those? I’m hiring a combo consisting of Zippy’s head, an astronaut’s body and Emu legs. What the hell for? Watch this space... BTW, drop into Frighton during the May festivals where I will be telling the world’s longest single joke. TBA on Facebook.


“Long grows the grass when bust is the Flymo”

A man cannot trespass in his own garden.

In & Out

A king without a crown is merely a king. Without a crown.


016_LS577_barecheek-madmatt_Editorial 11/05/2012 17:01 Page 2

Has anyone seen Doctor Simpo? You don’t neesd X- Ray spec to see me! Read Matt’s full blog at mattwhistlerbrighton

017_LS577_cityspeak_Editorial 11/05/2012 14:46 Page 1


Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw is on a manhunt


nly a few weeks ago I was I reflected that even in our group deploring the lack of of 14 there were only four men. dandelions, now it’s the A friend I was grumbling to absence of men (my age I hasten about all this said it was the same to add) that I am moaning about. with dating agencies for the What do all the men my age who elderly. One she had approached have retired and not yet popped recently was not accepting any their clogs do with their spare more women but were giving time? They can’t all be playing golf discounts to any men who applied. or doing the garden can they? Yet I’m sure this must be breaking every evening class or lecture I some equal opportunities ruling or attend in Brighton is heavily other. Perhaps this is something weighed down with different for the women. I have recently European Court of started helping Human Rights to waste “I’m sure voluntarily with RDA, a time on. Yet I think I wonderful charity that this must know the answer to my gives disabled adults own question. be breaking and children a chance I did a short stint to ride. So far, out of some years ago with some equal about 30 women, I meals-on-wheels have met two male (short because I hated opportunities volunteers, and I think it and they said I was they were husbands hopeless because I ruling” who were adhering to kept getting lost). All the old ‘if you can’t the drivers were men, beat ‘em join ‘em’ adage. which also tends to be the case It is the same with my excellent with the voluntary NHS drivers who creative writing group in take patients to and from their Newhaven. Last week we held an hospital appointments. Meanwhile open evening and invited our a couple of my friends’ husbands friends (and long suffering help out with sport at their relatives) to hear each one us give grandchildren’s schools and readings from our work at the another is the referee for the local Hillcrest Community Centre in a soccer team. So it appears that I relaxed café-like atmosphere and must join voluntary projects which it was a most successful event. are concerned with cars and But while I was enjoying listening football if I want to meet men. In to one of our members reading out that case I don’t think I am that his amusing slightly naughty story bothered after all.


Teen Spirit Tasha Dhanraj is off to Asia


’m going to Chiang Mai. You through Calcutta to find myself. know, Chiang Mai. That city in My issue is that my middle class Thailand you’ve either never parents took me all around the heard of or might have heard of world when I was a child. By the once on some cooking programme time I was 11, I had been on on an obscure digital channel. holiday to almost every continent. Yeah, that place. It kind of gave me the ‘been there My cousin returned from done that’ approach to travelling. travelling about six months The kind of feeling that most ago and kept going on about people get when a friend asks how amazing Chiang Mai was them if they want to go to Pizza until he decided to go back there Express. That, and as far as and train to become an English ‘discovering myself’ goes, I’m so teacher. Since I’ve got nothing intolerably confident and self going on at the assured that I moment, I figured am arrogant I would fly out and “I am arrogant enough to stay with him for assume I already enough to assume a couple of weeks. know who and I’m quite I already know who what I am. nervous. I’m going I’ve managed and what I am” to be doing an 11 to get over and a half hour myself though, flight on my own, because the then changing at Bangkok and world is too exciting for me to flying for another hour. I get so continue with my stupid attitude hideously travel sick that this is towards exploring it. I convinced going to be a challenge for both my inner self that I should go to me and my stomach. But I’m Chiang Mai, given that I haven’t determined that I’m going to have ever been there and I literally know a great time – after all, I’m on my nothing about it. I’ve done a little gap yah. bit of googling and all I’ve gathered Even though I don’t care too is that there are some temples, a much what other people think of night market and it currently has a me, I’ve so far spent my entire terrible problem with smog. It year thinking that maybe I should should be an adventure and if be doing ‘the gap year thing’ and nothing else, at least I’ll come back going off to build a school for some with my fascinating story about undiscovered tribe in Indonesia, or how I got respiratory problems experiencing a spiritual journey whilst on my gap yah in Asia.

William Tells


Pic: Imagenet

This is another piece of news H can do without. Tracey, Amanda’s girlfriend, is not the kind of person you want in a crisis. True to form, 10 minutes later she storms in through the employees’ entrance and onto the shop floor like whatever a bull would be if it found itself not in a china shop but a mid-market book emporium. Possibly a Nazi. Will Harris finds real life more exciting than comics “Where is she?” she’s yelling. “Where is she?” “She’s in the lift,” says H, trying hard to keep her voice a sarcasm free zone. “Upstairs. I’ve here is a saying, beloved of comic book called the engineers before you ask. And health nerds the world over. With great power, it and safety.” says (pushing its NHS glasses up its acne“Health and safety,” spits Tracey. “Take me to scarred nose with what it imagines to be an air of her. I’ve brought her inhaler.” statesmanlike gravitas), comes great “You know where the lift is, Tracey,” says H. responsibility. And long hours. “I really have to open up now. Look!” She gestures It is this very maxim that springs unbidden over at the front door, where every man, woman into my friend H’s head, as she sits alone in the and child in town – having apparently woken up cramped office above the regional bookstore she with the realisation that what’s missing from their assistant manages, having arrived at work an lives is a brand new book – are pressed up against hour early to get cracking on some paperwork. the glass like a zombie horde. The telephone rings, and in her head it is As Tracey stomps off, and H hurries to unlock Commissioner Gordon on the other end. She picks the doors, she reflects on how comforting it would up the receiver. be to have her own, less terrifying version of “Men, women and children “What do you mean you’re stuck in the lift?” Tracey; just to know there was someone out there H runs downstairs. The shop is not open yet, who’d come running every time she got herself are pressed up against the but with the clock ticking dangerously close to the trapped inside a piece of heavy machinery. official opening time, the fact that one of her She is still mulling this over when, climbing the glass like a zombie horde” employees has got herself trapped in the store’s stairs to check on Amanda, she hears Tracey’s creaking elevator, with her bike, and without her voice. “Honestly babe,” she’s saying, “you see it on asthma inhaler, is a piece of news H can do without. TV all the time. That lift could drop at any second...” “Amanda?” she bangs on the lift doors. “Amanda, are you alright? Can you That, and a panicked Amanda, gasping for air. breathe?” “Yeah man, I’m fine,” comes a deep and disembodied voice. “I follow me on twitter latestwill called Tracey though. She’s on her way round.”

018_LS577_Ads_editorial 11/05/2012 11:49 Page 2


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019_LS577_interview_011_LS466_interview 11/05/2012 15:47 Page 3

HANDYANDY Award-winning director, producer, writer and performer, known for current hit Outnumbered and classic oldie Drop The Dead Donkey, Andy Hamilton talks comedy with Victoria Nangle

You’ve been in the comedy world for like, forever... “Yeah, well... Why? Where’s this going? You’re making me feel old!” No, no not at all. You’ve just got so many different comedy hats. What was the first one that you put on? “Well, I suppose if someone held a gun to my head and said you can only do one well that would be writing. In the days where you had your occupation on your passport, that’s what it said, writer. That is essentially what I am. I’m a writer who likes to perform sometimes. So that’s probably how I see myself.” How did you get into it? “Um... I drifted into it really. I was leaving university, I hadn’t really worked out what I was going to do, but I’d been writing some sketches and stuff for stage shows, and a BBC producer saw one of them and said ‘are you sort of writing for a living?’ And I said ‘not really’, so he encouraged me to go along to BBC radio and submit material, and gradually I started to get stuff on and from there I began. It wasn’t a grand plan.” Is there a grand plan now? “No!” Because you are a bit of a comic Svengali... “Am I?” Well, you have done an awful lot of comedy shows. I was re-watching Chelmsford 123 the other day... “Crikey! When I was a druid! Yes, that was written by my friends Jimmy [Mulville] and Rory [McGrath] and I used to produce them in a show called Who Dare’s Wins, so I was forever making them get up at five in the morning to put on, you know, extravagant make-up and stuff – and I think that was their revenge. Put me in a very itchy sort of costume, and made me disembowel animals and stuff!” One of my favourite shows was Drop The Dead Donkey, which stopped at its height. At what point do you decide to stop making a show, despite demand? “That’s a really interesting question actually, which I don’t often get asked! That show I wrote with Guy Jenkins, and I suppose we do it by a kind of instinct really, you know? I mean, what we wanted to do with Drop The Dead Donkey – we did a lot of shows, we did getting on 70 shows, that was nine years I think, and we just thought, we wanna be in a position where we end it rather than one day a broadcaster turns around and says, you know, actually we don’t want any more. So we wanted to do a series where we sent all the characters off into the sunset and actually did it properly. So you just do it by instinct, and you just feel when the moment is right...” Very brave... “Well, it’s not that brave because what you’re doing is you’re trying to head off the point. You’re trying to avoid the moment where people have got a bit

bored with you. So it’s no braver than leaving a party before peoples eyes glaze over.” So what’s happening with Outnumbered now? “Outnumbered? We are doing a Christmas special. We’re filming that in November, which will be... cold! And hopefully doing another lot next year.”

“If I didn't invent all

these ideas in comedy, I’d probably be a serial killer or something”

There was a rumour last year, that there was going to be a TV show of your Radio 4 series Old Harry’s Game. Is that likely to happen? “No. Well, I can imagine how the rumour got out. We did a little sample for Sky, of an animated plasticine version, you know, like a claymation, and that sort of leaked out of someone’s press department prematurely so it was only ever a sample I was writing for them and they passed on it, which was fair enough. We were very pleased with it but I think that’s probably not going to happen now. It’s quite problematic, animation. It’s quite hard to place it with a broadcaster so, at the moment I haven’t got any plans to try and televise it, no. ” Will there be another series of it? “Yeah, we’re doing an Olympic special. A two-parter, recording that in July. Although I’m not sure if we can mention the word ‘Olympics’, as that’s owned by the Olympics. but basically Satan gets involved with the Olympics, yeah.”



Old Harry’s Game and last year’s Searching for Satan have got a strong ideological and philosophical sense. It feels like you’re using Shakespeare’s tool of pointing out the truth with laughter... “Well, certainly, it irritates me when sometimes people say or talk about something like: ‘Oh it’s just a comedy!’. Comedy is always been used to convey big ideas and in many ways it’s a better medium for conveying big ideas because people are more welcoming. They don’t resist it. Whereas if they think you’re trying to give them a lecture, they will resist it. So yeah, I think probably, on a personal level, if I didn’t invent all these ideas in comedy, I’d probably be a serial killer or something, I’d probably go on a killing spree. I think it’s a kind of a safety valve. I’d better ask you about the show! What is the Hat of Doom? “The Hat Of Doom? The hat is a hat with lots of bits of paper in it, and on the bits of paper are various topics on stuff, so it’s largely dictated by what the audience draws out of the hat. I go around with the hat and then the audience picks stuff out. And in the second half – in the interval I ask the audience for the questions on the stage, written on bits of paper for me – so, most of the second half is built around things that the audience ask me. So it’s always different each night, you never find two nights the same. And there’s stories and jokes and me larking around, bits of audience participation and singing and all sorts. Bit of everything!” What’s the last thing that made you laugh a ridiculous amount? “Ooh, well the North Korean missile made me laugh quite a lot. You know, the missile that they sent up that fell apart? Well, it just fell over basically. It just fell over. That did make me laugh. I mean, I know I shouldn’t, because it’s a terrifying prospect that you’ve got a mad nuclear superpower, a mad nuclear power that’s been humiliated, but it did make me laugh.” Andy Hamilton – Hat Of Doom, Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, Thursday 17 May, £17.50/16

020_LS577_food__food 11/05/2012 15:23 Page 1



Food & Drink Andrew Kay enjoys the adventurous menu from the new team at The Cuthbert Pub & Kitchen

Perfect pigeon O

pen a menu in Greece, any menu, and the content will be much the same, the same applies in Morocco and Tunisia, they all do pretty much the same dishes to differing degrees of success. It happens with many national cuisines, there appear to be regulation dishes that must be offered. The same is not so here in the UK. After years in the culinary wilderness, British food has emerged, swan like, as a shining example of what the culinary world can offer. Swan like may be too pure a thought, after all, the emergence of a modern British cuisine is so much made up of different international influences, so it’s a bastard swan, a half breed – but one of increasing beauty. Offer the menu challenge in any UK restaurant of note and you will find massive differences. Okay, the usual suspects, the fads and fashions will be there, but not all of them – well not often. I was hesitant to visit The Cuthbert too soon, I rather like a place to settle in, but when I heard where the new proprietors were from I jumped at the chance. I remember The Cuthbert when it was a boozer with a bar billiard table, more recently a place which seemed to always be closed. Now it’s back, old name in place and a rather interesting new look. Imagine shabby chic, then take away anything resembling a real or a fake antique, anything painted with crackled paint and banish the Farrow and Ball colour chart. Okay, now insert 1950’s kitchenalia, printed tea towels and cross-over pinnies, colours plucked from a 1961 Dulux chart and a nice slice of kitchen sink dram and you will be close. I loved it, it took me back to my childhood. Fortunately the menu did not. Here were dishes that left me bewildered, spoiled for choice – and not just the savoury dishes, I would happily have eaten the pudding menu from start to finish, I did not (but I was tempted). So with a much appreciated G&T in hand we set off. First though a salt cod brandade, crumbed and fried and spiked ready to eat, delicious. Mr R made a beeline for the crispy pigs cheek. I was tempted too and have to say that it was extremely good and very generous too. I looked on with envy until my Pigeon arrived. I love pigeon and have always hankered after a good Moroccan pastilla – but never had one, here or there. This was a dish inspired by the North African original, but so much better. Two succulently rare pan fried breasts, a leg, a tiny pie of spiced fruits and some bulgur wheat. As with King George V (bugger Bognor) I would apply the same sentiment to bulgur, or until now. Now I know that it can taste extremely good, meaty even, filled with spice and fruits and fighting for attention on a plate already filled with muscular flavours. It was a sensational dish and a brilliant start. Mr R took the more staid route of steak and chips next but was delighted by a great piece of meat and some stunning proper chips. I tasted both and the chips are up there with those of a certain Mr HB. The steak was perfectly

cooked, we asked the chef to cook it as he saw fit and it was a good move, and topped with a rich deep green herb butter. I chose the roast cod with Bombay potatoes and spicy leeks with a coriander bhaji. Once again global influences but not in a gimmicky way but rather more respectful and refined. The fish was superb, pearly white and cooked with precision, the side dishes were great too, good spicing but too much to cover the sweet fish. Four dishes in and an amuse bouche of note and not one disappointment. So on to puds and a real dilemma. In all seriousness I could have scoffed the lot, pure greed, not hunger, the food was not only refined it was generous too. In the end Mr R chose a parfait with cinnamon doughnuts and I chose orange and honey creme brulee with rhubarb and sugar cakes. I wanted the poached pear with blue cheese too but decided it was a course too far. Now Mr R likes a pud and this one put the biggest of grins on his face, especially when he discovered that the doughnuts were filled with pistachio cream. His face was a picture of fulfilment. My brûlée hit the same high spot, a perfect custard, crystal sharp caramel and a hint of honey and orange with a small dish of hot rhubarb on the side and two rich brown sugar biscuits. How I grinned. We drank a bottle of good Tempranillo and finished with coffee. And not content to end there the chef sent out two whiskey sour jellies. I loved it but Mr R said it had a taste of Cherry Blossom polish. The Cuthbert is sensibly priced with main courses from £9.50 to £17 and the rest in proportion to that. I cannot wait to go back and very soon. The Cuthbert Pub & Kitchen, 136 Freshfield Road, Brighton, 01273 699693

What country serves up your favourite dish?

open daily 8.30am – 5pm for breakfast, lunch and yummy cakes

021_LS577_leglise_editorial 11/05/2012 11:15 Page 1


Gourmets et gourmands Andrew Kay joins the Chef’s Table at restaurant L’Eglise for a gastronomic evening of excellence and excess


on the


ry getting the best with a mustard dressing and chefs from the city and an apple and radish salad. around to all sit down It was met with almost at the same table at the universal delight. same time and you would Our next dish was an find yourself with a assiette d’agneau, shoulder, logistical nightmare on your loin and breast cooked in hands. After all, shouldn’t three different ways, each they all be at that range highlighting the versatility cooking dinner for paying of the meat but also of the customers? It’s not a task kitchen. It was divine, that I would undertake but I meltingly tender and know a man who did. accompanied by a ratatouille Jean Christophe Martin is of epic quality. proprietor of L’Eglise in Hove The main course was boeuf with his wife Julia. Julia rules bourguignon, a classic that front of house, keeping their needs no messing. The centre classic French bistro running piece was just that, perfect smoothly. Jean, sometime tender beef in a rich red wine chef, is very much at the sauce with lardon, baby helm when it comes to the onions and the exceptional food and although now busy oyster mushrooms form the running the business, he is Espresso Mushroom never shy of donning his Company, a new business whites and getting involved just outside Brighton. Okay, with the cooking. one tiny change, but well From the first time we met Jean and I worth it for these really tasty realised that we had an obsessive mushrooms. The chefs also gave us “I had no doubt that it would be an passion for food (and for drink). We meet roasted bone marrow on a croute with often, over a bite with a glass or two and shaved horseradish and parsley. evening of epic proportions, but this inevitably our conversation will turn to This really was a meat fest of epic time Jean, Julia and their excellent kitchen proportions and with each course the food, swapping ideas, recommending places to eat or suppliers to use. buzz about both the cooking and the team really pulled out all the stops” Earlier this year Jean called me; “I’ve produce grew stronger. an idea,” he said. They’re words I often Meat finished with, we moved on to hear him speak. Jean is an ideas person, some petite, some grande but most of cheese. It was a difficult choice with a fine array of Sussex cheeses to one his ideas are achievable – most, there have been a few that in the cold sober side and a massive selection from Ritter Courivaud to the other. I love my light of day we have both agreed were fantastic – but not in the right way. Sussex cheese but forgive me for delving into a plate of some fine stinky This time the idea was ‘plus grande’. I started to worry. “I am planning to French stuff. Quite extraordinarily delicious. ‘old an event, a Chef’s Table, with all the best local chefs sitting down to eat We finished with a desert of mille feuille flavoured with elderflower liqueur, together and try the meat that I buy from a farm in the Wye Valley,” Jean light and delicate, none of us thought we had space but most of us found a continued. Fantastic without doubt, but would he realise the dream? corner in which to tuck it. Throughout we drank delicious wines generously Just a few months on he has done just that and in late April I sat down with served by Francois Domange of Vinothentic, each a great match for the superb around 20 guests from the world of food, mainly chefs, for an evening of dishes on display. culinary excellence. I had no doubt that it would be an evening of epic I was lucky enough to be sat by Rosamund Vaughan who, whilst obviously proportions, but this time Jean, Julia and their excellent kitchen team really being the ‘Farmers Wife’, is a business woman of incredible intelligence and pulled out all the stops. depth. We chatted all night, sometimes about the farm and the meat but The evening was centred around the produce from Huntsham Farm. mainly about art and books and life. I could not have wished for a more Huntsham Farm is owned and run by Richard Vaughan and his wife, entertaining neighbour. Rosamund. They specialise in producing fine rare breed meats from rare At midnight I started to say goodnight. It took 30 minutes as I had to pedigree animals – Longhorn beef, Middle White pork and Ryeland lamb so chat once again to some of my favourite local chefs; Jeremy, Ben, Sam, there was going to be plenty of meat on the table. They already supply many Henry Harris. They were all there and many more, and all equally of the country’s top chefs, all of whom enthuse about the quality of their meat impressed by the event, by Jean’s ability to pull it off, by the quality of the and Jean has been passionate about it for some time, even sending me produce and by the standard of the cooking which was universally thought pictures of suckling pig by text to whet my appetite. It worked, and I was to be exemplary. more than ready to taste the real thing. Chef’s Table was a great idea made real by a man of real passion and his Over glasses of great pink Perrier Jouet Champagne we ate cubes of team. So who will carry it forward? Over to you chefs of Brighton & Hove delicious foie gras, great bread sticks and the best crackling I have had in and beyond. For the rest of us mere mortals, food of the same quality many years as well as some perfect crisp pork fat. I love crisp pork fat, when using the same excellent produce is always available at L’Eglise and it is done well it should have the crystaline texture of good shortbread, but salty. certainly worth looking out for their special events and offers. This was super and perfectly balanced by their home made “Cervelle du L’Eglise, 196 Church Road, Hove 01273 220868, Canut” (silk weavers brain), a herbed cream cheese. To find out more about Huntsham Court Farm go to Not the lightest of starts but an indicator of what was to come. So first out For the wines visit and for the cheese go to pâté de tête de cochon, or brawn as I know it. Totally delicious stuff served

022_LS577_hotlist_Hotlist 11/05/2012 14:52 Page 2



L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit Brazilian The Loop Café-Bar & Coffee House

Nestling on Kemp Town seafront is this contemporary Anglo-Brazilian café-bar with a menu that features traditional English fare as well as some tasty Brazilian dishes. Whether you choose one of the stylish red sofas, or the sunny south-facing front terrace, you can enjoy free Wi-Fi while you savour the homemade food and great selection of coffees. Open 10am–6pm seven days a week. The Loop, 16 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 677944,

British & Modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. Bardsley’s, 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Blanch House

Enjoy a leisurely Sunday lunch at Blanch House, Brighton’s iconic boutique hotel in central Kemp Town. The locally sourced menu features Sussex Smokie, 21-day aged rib of Sussex beef, Sussex pork loin and their signature ‘Blanch House’ sticky toffee pudding along with a selection of Sussex cheeses. Two courses for £15.95 and three courses for £19.95. Call to book your table. Blanch House, 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, BN2 1PL, 01273 603504,,

Hove Place

With arguably the nicest outdoor space in Brighton and Hove and a stylish new internal and external makeover, Hove Place Bistro Pub & Gardens is truly a haven for the discerning pub goer. You’ll find a great mix of pub classics, some wonderful surprises and bistro-style dishes, all made from scratch with thoughtfully sourced quality produce. Enjoy both the menu and the new look venue! 37 First Avenue, Hove, BN3 2FH 01273 738266

The Cuthbert Pub & Kitchen

sourced steak and seafood, all served in a friendly unpretentious environment. Located in the heart of Brighton’s Lanes, The Gallery is a must for those looking to get into the Brighton swing of things. With live music played on the terrace day and night this independent restaurant is a must next time you are out and about in the Lanes. They offer a great value lunch (2 courses for £10.95) and evening menu (2 courses for £15.95). Food is served all day. The Gallery Restaurant, 28 East Street, Brighton, BN11HL, 01273 773327,

The Medicine Chest

The Medicine Chest is receiving glowing reviews for its fabulous new menu from head chef Sebastien Dupire. Look out for his signature Tournedos Rossini soon to feature on the spring menu. Move downwards to the bar for Mick Fuller’s Soul nights starting every Friday from 2 March. The last word in cocktails, this bar is also available for private hire. Call or book online. The Medicine Chest, 51-55 Brunswick Street East, Hove BN3 1AU, 01273 770002,

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting. Locally owned and aiming to be the Cheers of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A fantastic wine list complements their wholesome and satisfying food. The kids’ menu is also great value. Open Mon–Fri, 5pm–9.30pm; Sat–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm, and open all day bank holidays. Plus the garden is now open! The Old Bank, 120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200,

The Townhouse – Kemptown

The Townhouse Piano Bar and Restaurant is the perfect destination for those looking to relax in the heart of Kemptown whilst enjoying your favorite tipple and the finest local summer menu and listening to live piano every night of the week. The restaurant won the ‘top 10 restaurants in Brighton’ and is independantly owned by a local family. It boasts an amazing

On Freshfield Road, opposite Queens Park Terrace, stands the newly opened Cuthbert Pub & Kitchen. In welcoming and comfortable surroundings this pub offers great value, delicious food, fantastic wines and, of course, a good pint of beer. It has a large garden and is perfect for families, offering a kids’ menu for £5 including choice of main courses, drinks and desserts. Food served: Monday to Saturday for lunch and dinner plus Sunday lunchtime for a fantastic Sunday roast. The Cuthbert Pub & Kitchen, 136 Freshfield Road, Brighton, BN2 0BR 01273 699693, Follow us on facebook

The Upper Deck Restaurant at Rendezvous Casino

For a different dining experience, The Upper Deck Restaurant is set in the heart of the casino action while offering spectacular views over the English Channel, allowing you to enjoy the best of both worlds during your dining experience at the Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina. You don’t need to be a member to dine in The Upper Deck Restaurant; food is served from 12pm to 3am, and on Sunday evenings they serve a fabulous Chinese buffet available for just £5 per person. The Upper Deck Restaurant, Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina, 01273 605602

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10. Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321,

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order. Cocoa, 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs. No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude; everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm. New Steine Bistro, 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415

Indian Chaula’s Brighton

A second venue for this brilliant Indian restaurant is now open here in Brighton. Superb regional dishes, fresh tasting and exciting, Chaula and her team breathe fresh air into the idea of Indian food with authentic recipes served in bright and stylish surroundings. The cooking is executed with a light touch too, no heavy ghee-based sauces here but an altogether healthier approach – but not at the cost of flavour. Both delicious and affordable. Chaula’s, 2-3 Little East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HT, 01273 771661

The Foragers

Winners of the prestigious Sussex Food and Drink Finals 2012 for Best Eating Experience in Sussex and awarded an AA Rosette for their excellent cuisine. Furthermore, take advantage of their award winning beer garden while the sun shines. To celebrate these accolades they are offering complimentary champagne cocktails to all bookings of ten or more, just make sure to mention Latest 7 when making your party booking! The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, BN3 3YU 01273 733134,

Chaula’s Lewes

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Chaula’s Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,

The Gallery Brighton – The Lanes

This restaurant boasts one of the finest outdoor heated street terraces in Brighton. The Gallery offers the very finest locally

lunch and evening menu with locally sourced steaks, lamb, vegetarian and seafood. They offer amazing value set lunch menus(2 courses for 10.95 ) and evening menus (2 courses for 15.95 ), Mondays – Thursdays and the best roasts in town on Sundays from £9.95. The Townhouse – Kemptown, 81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, BN2 1PA, 01273 693216,

The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle

Local champion of regional Indian cuisine using seasonal, Sussex produce. For lunch you can feast upon a selection of award-winning King

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

Thalis, street snacks, dosas, Roomali Roti wraps and Kathi Kebabs. There’s plenty of choice for vegetarian gourmands to enjoy too. The Chilli Pickle has been recognised with a Michelin Bib, two AA rosettes, voted Top 100 UK restaurant in The National Restaurant Awards and runners-up in this year’s Brighton Foodie Awards. Lunch is served 12pm–3pm; Dinner 6pm–10.30pm Closed Tuesdays. Booking essential. The Chilli Pickle, 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 900383,

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Donatello, Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477,

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. Fat Leo, 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135,

Mediterraneo Deli

Mediterraneo Deli is indeed a family business, dedicated to serving you the best tasting, truly genuine and most authentic Sicilian food. The family-run deli offers mouth-watering daily specials, birthday cakes made to order and typical Sicilian products. They enjoy catering for all events from lunch meetings to dinner parties and weddings. Every dish is prepared daily and served fresh to order with ingredients genuinely sourced from Sicily. Open 9am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10am –3pm Sat, Mediterraneo Deli, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton, BN1 4NP, 01273 674350,

Spanish Agua Dulce

If you like your tapas authentic then this is the place for you. Brilliant traditional Spanish food with regional specialities in relaxed surroundings. Superb meat, fish and seafood tapas plus excellent larger dishes like their suckling pig. There is live flamenco every Thursday, and new for 2012 is Tapas Tuesday where you can get 50 per cent off tapas from a selected menu (booking essential). Paella, sangria...All that’s missing is the Mediterranean sun! Agua Dulce, 10-11 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NE, 01273 328672,

Tearooms Talk of Tea

Talk of Tea is a hidden gem, a tea house tucked off of Western Road with the largest selection of loose leaf tea in Sussex. Choose from over 50 varieties to buy over the counter or to enjoy in the shop with snacks, cream tea and afternoon tea being served. All the cakes and scones are homemade by the owner and taste divine. Talk of Tea really is an antidote to all the chain coffee shops and offers a completely different experience, but don't worry – they also do great coffee! Enjoy the sunny days in the lovely secluded patio or use the free wi-fi to work ‘from home’. Open daily 9am–6pm, Sunday 11am–4pm. Talk of Tea, 26 Spring Street, Brighton, BN1 3EF, 01273 748444,

Thai The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we’re open every day, so come down and ‘gin yur yur’ (eat a lot!) The Green Mango, 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226,

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Special introductory offer

Thali Alacarte menu day time Dhosa daytime £4.99 Lunch boxes available Outside catering available Party room can accommodate 60-65 people

only £7.00 11am to3pm 2-3 Little East Street Brighton BN1 1HT

01273 771661


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Mind, body & soul H

olistic and Mystic, the leading Mind, Body, Soul fair in Surrey, are pleased to take over the popular festival held for 14 years in Hove. Approximately 85 exhibitors all selected for their experience, passion and integrity, offering spiritual guidance through psychics, mediums, clairvoyants, astrology, tarot and angel cards, aura photographer and spiritual artists. A fantastic variety of stands with a range of products not easily available in the high street, such as; healing crystals, aura sprays, angels and fairies, jewellery, organically made clothing, incense, Wiccan and other holistic and spiritual products from distributors such as Neal’s Yard and Forever Living – so much to choose from. Relax and de-stress with experienced complementary therapists offering taster sessions and a chance to find out what’s available plus you can ask advice with no obligation. Free talks and demonstrations with a varied agenda will be running throughout the day to inform and entertain, including demonstrations of mediumship. Bookings can be made in advance to avoid disappointment. Come along and be inspired. Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Sunday 27 May, 10am–5.30pm. Adults £3.50, accompanied under 16s free, concessions £3. Visit or call Tracy on 01883 717069.

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Allplay Tennis


With Wimbledon just around the corner, Latest 7 celebrates Britain’s love of tennis

Allplay Tennis is a national campaign brought to you by the Lawn Tennis Association to encourage more people play tennis. An important part of the campaign is which helps people find a local court, find people to play with, or find a local coach to help them with their game. The site launched in June 2011 and there are already over 7,500 people looking for people to play tennis with. Brighton and Hove is no different and with great choice of park courts across the city, now is a great time to dust off your racket or pick one up for the first time! Register now for free on the website and find out where you can play in Brighton and Hove. If you would like to try something new then try Cardio Tennis, a high tempo aerobic exercise on a tennis court to music! Get fit whilehitting some balls and meeting new people! Visit for a list of places offering Cardio Tennis!


t’s the summer sport us Brits love to watch on the box! Football is given a rest between seasons (except for Euro 2012!) and our thoughts turn to tennis at Wimbledon and everything that entails: whiter than white whites, carful brand marketing, strawberries and cream, and rain. Stereotypes aside, the return of Wimbledon also inspires us to pick up our own racket and loudcoloured ball and hit the court/park/garden. Okay, we may not match (or even be close to) the playing standards of 2011 Wimbledon winners Novak Djokovic and Petra Kvitova, but tennis is a great keep-fit activity and, if you start young, you may find a career you love and Wimbledon may beckon! An hour of tennis can burn over 300 calories – it sure beats sweating it out in the gym and it’s a great way to socialise and have fun at the same time. Keeping your eye on the ball can also improve balance, concentration and agility, while running around the courts will give health and fitness a boost too! What’s not to love? Luckily, here in Brighton we have everything for the perfect game: start with the right racket, which is where Nick Rivett Sport comes in. Find a playing partner or ideal venue with Allplay Tennis. For kids, Tennis Tigers is great for budding Roger Federer’s. Then, take a break from the game and enjoy the hotly anticipated AEGON International event over in Eastbourne. That leaves just enough time to relax before the fun of Wimbledon! ‘Love’ is definitely an appropriate word when it comes to tennis.

Tennis Tigers There is always a look of confusion on a parent’s face when you tell them that you can teach a child to be a competitive tennis player when they are as young as seven. Yes, they may play on a badminton court with a slightly lower net and yes, the balls may be softer, larger and easier to hit but they are competing nonetheless. Tennis Tigers introduces young children to tennis. The company both teaches and runs tournaments for the under tens. Coach and director of Tennis Tigers, Vanessa Nickerson, says: “Teaching this age group requires a special kind of teacher because it’s not an easy thing to do.  Our coaches need strong, positive personalities and an ability to understand and relate to young  children.” So, what is the result of the Tennis Tigers programme? A hundred children under ten years old play tennis throughout the week in the Preston Park area. Children from Brighton College, Downs and Stanford infants benefit from the Tennis Tigers coaching programme. “What really makes this programme work are the tournaments,” says Vanessa. “Fifty children are now signed up with the LTA as competitive tennis players.” If you think about it, this is quite an achievement, both for the Tigers and the children involved. Even better, you can see them in action in Preston Park each weekend morning. The tournaments are held on the last Sunday of each month in Preston Park, with the next one falling on 27 May at 2pm. If you have a child who is under ten years old then they should consider joining the Tennis Tigers programme. All abilities are welcome! To join this summer, please contact Tennis Tigers on 07531 879 404 or email,

Nick Rivett Sport “The fifth set is not about the tennis, it’s about the nerves” said Boris Becker. At Nick Rivett Sport they are tennis crazy! They regularly test all tennis rackets they sell so they can give you impartial and personal advice based on game play and not what the manufacturers tell you in the hype! Nick Rivett Sport offers a comprehensive tennis racket, clothing and footwear range. They stock a full range from Babolat, Wilson, Head, Prince, Yonex, Tecnifibre and Dunlop. They also sell junior rackets from 17” to 26” to cater for all abilities. Their try before you buy service allows you to test the tennis rackets in your own time. For a small fee you can discuss your needs with the team and they will loan you up to three rackets for up to one week. Nick Rivett Sport has become established as the number one racket stringers in Brighton and Hove. They string regularly through the week, often with a same day turn around. The shop also has a superb relationships with local tennis clubs and coaches, and staff are always on hand to recommend the best club/coach for you. They are also happy to arrange racket demo days at tennis clubs, so please get in touch if this is of interest. Nick Rivett Sport, 64 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FP, 01273 731780

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Win tickets to the AEGON International Final & tennis equipment! Eastbourne’s Devonshire Park Lawn Tennis Club will once again open its doors to the annual AEGON International this summer, taking place 16-23 June 2012, and Latest 7 is offering one lucky winner the chance to win a pair of tickets to the final! The event provides some of the world’s top male and female tennis players with the opportunity to hone their skills ahead of the Wimbledon Championships. Confirmed players for the 2012 event include reigning champion Marion Bartoli, 2011 Wimbledon winner Petra Kvitova, Caroline Wozniacki and Ana Ivanovic in the women’s event and Richard Gasquet, Marcos Baghdatis and Bernard Tomic in the men’s event. Visit the tournament website for a full player list. On Saturday 16 June the LTA and lead partner AEGON are throwing the doors open to fans to watch the tennis for free, with seats on Centre Court and Court 1 being unreserved. This will be a great opportunity to bring all the family to watch some world-class tennis – simply collect free tickets from the onsite box office on the day. In addition to this, on Sunday 17 June four Legends of the game, including Greg Rusedski and Mark Philippoussis will return to the courts. Keep checking for more details on this day. The tournament has teamed up with Babolat, an official supplier of British Tennis, to offer one lucky winner a pair of tickets to the Final of

the AEGON International, taking place on Saturday 23 June, as well as a bumper bag of tennis equipment including a racket bag, tube of balls, dampener, grip and keyring. For your chance to win, just tell us: Who won the 2011 AEGON International women’s singles title? a) Serena Williams b) Marion Bartoli c) Victoria Azarenka Email your answer to with ‘AEGON’ in the subject line and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Don’t forget to leave your name and contact details! Closing date for entries: 28 May 2012. To book tickets to the AEGON International call 0844 581 3015 or visit

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The soul of Brighton It’s time to sing along with Souled Out


ights on, curtain up, band in place, packed house of cheering audience... a dream? It needn’t be! Souled Out is Brighton’s number one soul choir open to both new singers and those with vocal experience singing an exciting soul influenced repertoire. Since 2009 more than 500 adults have enjoyed the Souled Out experience and new members are always welcome. Weekly rehearsals are lively and uplifting with a strong emphasis on fun and enjoyment, while learning a wide range of songs from Motown to funk and soulful pop. 1SOUL youth choir is the newest section of the choir, open to all 8-16 yr olds. Rehearsed and led by dynamic choir director David Levale, the choir is backed for performances by the sensational igMusic band. The band is made up of some of the foremost musicians in the UK and combined with the ever-funky Souled Out, shows have quickly earned a reputation for providing exhilarating and soulful entertainment of the highest quality. Souled Out have performed regularly in Brighton venues over the years and are now working towards a stunning Christmas show at the Brighton Dome featuring some very special guest artists. Get on board the soul train! Rehearsing on Wednesdays – Salvation Army Congress Hall, 1-6 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton. Contact igmusic Ltd 020 7249 0902,

L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at



ot knowing what to expect from Tristan Sharps is part of the excitement. His fertile brain always seems to deliver something breathtakingly new and this year is no exception. After the huge acclaim for Before I Sleep in 2010 expectations were riding high. Could they pull off a success on such an epic scale once again? The answer is yes – but not by following on, far from it. This time Sharps gives us an almost cinematic experience, a Hamlet that takes the original script and carves it up to give it a tough, modernity whilst still using the beauty of the original language. Set in a brutally minimal world of Scandinavian modernism, the set imprisons the audience on all four sides. Captive and captivated at the same time, visually challenged by activity all around and on varying levels, some film, some real. The sound has a clipped quality, the mirrored windows isolating us from the real voices and speakers delivering them to us as we move around the room. The story unfolds in a literal sense too, this time we are not expected to wander and make of it what we will. Instead we are confronted, affronted even by it. Claudius is the coolest politico, suave, suited and sinister, all smiles and insincerity. Gertrude is chillingly played with more than a hint of Cherie Blair about her. Polonius is a pompous, obsessing prig but no fool. Ophelia sinks into madness with ease as the intensity and lunacy builds to breaking point. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are public school buffoons and Laertes the city slicker bent on revenge. The ghost of the King looms threateningly in and out of the action in both projection and reality, his presence affecting every character. And through all this Hamlet broods, his mood darkening by the moment, the plot unravelling with the glowering bleakness of a Danish crime novel. Sharp gives us his signature visual trickery of course, but this time it is delivered as a side dish to an explosively revealing dissection of Hamlet that proves that as a director of real theatre he is a force to be reckoned with. Possibly the most disquieting two hours of theatre I have ever experienced and without doubt some of the best. Andrew Kay


Ric Morris’ tongue in cheek tour proves one thing: Brighton is unique. And, whether you’re a visitor or resident, we can all learn something new. We saw the city in a different light, as we were led from the Royal Pavilion across Brighton, ending up on Brighton beach. We paused for thought at landmarks we pass by every day without a second glance. From the history lesson of King George IV to the arrival of Tuaca on our shores (more recent than you may think!) to the businesses that made a difference (The Body Shop and Ben Sherman), this was funny, entertaining and well informed. What’s Brighton famous for? Lots. This tour is the ideal way to find out;

just be sure to wrap up warm as another thing that can be relied on is our cold summer evenings! Meet outside Al Duomo, 4 May ✪✪✪✪✪ Zara Baker


Brighton has a rich cinematic history, not only starring in films but playing host to at one time over 25 cinemas across the city, as well as many others popping up all over the city at other times in shop fronts, purpose-built majestic halls and even in a wrestling booth! A fascinating trail around Brighton, well researched and presented by the tour’s guide and

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BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 29 creator Julian Clapp, this chilly Sunday morning was a horn of plenty packed full with engaging facts and stories. And a glint of hope that that time of cinematic opulence may yet return. Meet outside Royal Albion Hotel, 6 May ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle


As it turns out the stereotype is totally true: all Irish people are funny. If you don’t believe me, then you clearly haven’t seen Foil, Arms and Hog (yes, all three of them). Playing to a packed crowd, it took all of 30 seconds to kick start the first barrels of laughter. Performing their last show of the Fringe, they went out with a high as they blazed through their ever-more ridiculous sketches. Avoiding most stereotypes like drinking, potatoes and leprechauns, a sketch involving dysfunctional vicars was perhaps a bit too easy. However there wasn’t one joke I didn’t laugh at. If only TV sketch shows were this funny. Absolutely hilarious! Upstairs At Three And Ten, 7 May ✪✪✪✪✪ Woodrow Whyte


As elegant as ever Redgrave took the stage and held the audience for nearly two hours in which she never once resorted to humorous anecdote. Instead she talked about her art, her work as an actress and the fact that film had influenced her stage work rather than vice versa. Above all she believes that it is the role of the actor or actress, a word she insists is correct, to follow the director and do as one is told. It was not that the evening was without humour, she is immensely modest, self deprecating even. Of course the audience had a few who were their for political reasons, obviously misreading the title of the event. One asked if she had a message for President Obama relating to a political issue. Redgrave’s answer was succinct, “No, I’m sorry, I do not”. Well done to her for such an elegant put down. Concet Hall, Brighton Dome, 5 May ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay


The inimitable Mr B is a Brighton stalwart and one of the earliest proponents of Chap Hop (Hip-Hop with better diction). Having been fans for many years, this was the first time we’d actually seen him live

and we weren’t disappointed. The charismatic “Gentleman Rhymer” delighted the audience with several medleys covering the history of rap, acid house and the “Madchester” sound, whilst interspersing his own compositional classics such as ‘More Kissing in Porn Please, We’re British’ and ‘Hail the Chap’. But with a new CD out, The Tweed Album, there was a pleasantly surprising amount of new material in the show, riffing on Beatles’ later material. Komedia, 8 May ✪✪✪✪✪ Tirimasu


Although posted as a comment on the isolating nature of city life and the effect of the current economic situation on the populous, The City Will Crumble is strongest dealing with the personal rather than the socioeconomic. One scene in particular between the blogger protagonist Leda (Mariana Targano) and a policeman (Diego Poupin) is brutal but nuanced and layered, choreographed and performed to perfection. Indeed the dance and original music is strong throughout. However some of the multimedia elements err to the obvious and the production can’t quite muster the scale to deliver on its ambitious premise. The Warren, 9 May ✪✪✪✪✪ Simon Plotkin



Musical hero Gil Scott-Heron died last May, and in this tribute publisher Jamie Byng, poet and host for the evening Lemn Sissay, writer/poet Salena Godden and ex-Magazine and Nick Cave bassist and film director Barry Adamson celebrated the life of this intelligent, spiritual yet troubled man, ahead of the publication of his self-written memoirs, The Last Holiday. A somewhat haphazard evening, that mirrored the sometimes haphazard yet endearing nature of Scott-Heron’s live performances, wasn’t helped by Sissay’s occasional lack of knowledge and his sometimes stuttering style of presenting. However, along with Godden, he delivered a superbly articulated spoken word performance of one of Scott-Heron’s greatest songs ‘BMovie’. And along with the beautifully shot clips of Scott-Heron performing for the camera in the last year of his life, and Adamson’s reworking of a number of songs from Scott-Heron’s last album, the evening just about flowed and enlightened. Pavilion Theatre, 8 May ✪✪✪✪✪ Jeff Hemmings

L7 Bookings On sale this week… THE HANGING GARDENS OF BRIGHTON

Old Steine Gardens, 25-27 May 2012 Adv: £25/£30 (teen & weekend tickets available) 01273 917272 Step through the Gate of Ishtar into the Hanging Gardens for a threeday utopian mix of live music, circus, and cabaret. Alabama 3,

It is said that humour comes from truth, and there can’t be anything more truthful than family relations. Meryl O'Rourke's show roots out gems from her unusual family background, her Jewish mother arriving in London as a refugee from Hitler’s persecution, her father's Irish Catholic rebellion against his own upbringing, and Meryl’s own quirky pearls of wisdom she would like to pass on to her own daughter. It's true, and it's so well crafted it's also very funny. Tightly written, deftly performed, intimate in its storytelling and packed with punchlines, this pseudo-celeb stalking celebration of unorthodox familial love is heartwarming without being at all sappy. Laughing Horse @ Caroline of Brunswick, 10 May ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle

The Go! Team and Ska Cubano are headlining. Expect funtastic antics galore at this Fringe finale party in the heart of the city.


The Basement, 19–23 May, 8pm Buy tickets online at 98, and enter ‘LATEST’ in the voucher code to receive 50% off! Brighton Theatre Collective present this compelling play charting a year in the life of Stuart Pearce, the Lone Ranger of the IT department. Premiere of this stage adaptation.

The Dillinger

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to


Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 10

1 Give Her The Gun Equinox 2 Osaro and RJ Shut Up and Dance 3 The Fadadoo Project Lost in a crowd 4 Boa Marks Merchandised Eyes 5 Moonlighter Every Time I Fall 6 Coda Luna Folie a Deux 7 Drewvis Estoy Esperando 8 Shoot the Dead NW1 9 Maria Mcateer – Her Night At Noon Drink The Pain Away 10 Dannydangerously HARIBO Give Her The Gun have managed to remain at Number One with ‘Equinox’ for a second week in a row, keeping Osaro and RJ at two with their single ‘Shut Up and Dance’. There are big changes coming to the chart and soon we'll be asking you to submit your own music videos to help us create a Video Chart. In the meantime submit your audio singles online if you're in a band, or if you're a listener then you also hold power over the chart by playing the tracks you love most.

11 tenek Submission – Radio Edit 12 Panos Christofi Sunshine 13 Black Nail God Damn You 14 Susi John – BFR A Love song for Aung San Suu Kyi 15 The Last Cry Rebekka 16 Fireworks For Summer Building Fires In A Circle Around Her House 17 The Wolfgirl Liberation Tuesday 18 Sam Charles Jupiter 19 Shoot the Dead Kill Machine Kill 20 Threepenny Thieves New Romantic SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos



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L7 Previews


STAGE: BOURNE AGAIN Matthew Bourne’s New Adventures dance company bring Early Adventures to the Theatre Royal Brighton


robably best known for his remarkable all male reworking of Swan Lake, this year’s festival will host Spitfire, Town and Country and The Infernal Galop, the triple bill of the works that launched Bourne’s career and cemented New Adventures reputation for wit, style and sheer entertainment. Matthew Bourne has assembled an impressive cast of experienced New Adventures stars and exciting young talent. The company will be Kerry Biggin, who created the role of Kim in Bourne’s Edward Scissorhands, Tom Jackson Greaves direct from the current tour of Nutcracker, James Leece returns to the company having performed the role of Johnny in Dirty Dancing in the West End, Kate Lyons made her New Adventures debut in Cinderella and has recently been seen in Nutcracker! Drew McOnie was a memorable competitor in the first series of BBC’s So You Think You Can Dance, Christopher Marney was last seen as The Angel in Cinderella, Dominic North has appeared in more New Adventures productions than any other performer, Mikah Smillie has shown her versatility with New Adventures in a variety of leading roles and Joe Walkling made his debut with the company in the original cast of Dorian Gray. Bourne’s work has built a bridge between the high art of the dance world and the commercial theatre that for years now have embraced conventional dance audiences and attracted new ones with works like Highland Fling, Swan Lake, Nutcracker! and The Car Man. Whilst having an obvious talent to amuse his choreography is never anything less than exhilarating, demanding excellence for his company at all times.

Early Adventures

Hangover Square Sallis Benney Theatre and University of Brighton Gallery until 27 May Free

Operation Greenfield Pavilion Theatre Tues 15 May 01273 709709

Oedipussy Theatre Royal 14 & 15 May 01273 709709

The Man With The Golden Pen Upstairs at Three and Ten, Brighton 15, 16, 17 May 01273 917272 Gogol Latest Musicbar, Brighton 14, 15, 16 May 01273 917272

Town And Country

Matthew Bourne said; “Early Adventures sees the company return to its roots to help celebrate our 25th anniversary. All of the pieces on this programme were created with a desire to entertain and to share some of the music and cultural icons that I grew up loving.” Spitfire was Bourne’s first hit in 1988. Both a celebration of masculine vanity and an affectionate comment on the preening grandeur of the classical male dancer. It hilariously places the most famous 19th century ballet showstopper in the world of men’s underwear advertising and mail order catalogue photography. Town and Country – Remembered as the piece that most crystallised the Bourne style; gloriously witty and ironic but also strangely moving and heartfelt. It explores notions of national character from a bygone era through the evocative music of Edward Elgar, Noel Coward


and Percy Grainger, amongst others. This 1991 two part dance revue features a high speed version of the classic film, Brief Encounter, a furtive meeting between two repressed gents, a jolly clog dance with a violent conclusion, a daringly wild ride on children’s scooters and an eccentric version of ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ played on the ukulele. The Infernal Galop – A breakthrough hit in 1989, this ‘Franglais Spectacular’ was inspired

by icons of France in the 1930s and 1940s; Edith Piaf, Charles Trenet, Tino Rossi, Jacques Tati etc. Through a series of surprising and saucy vignettes this is France as seen by the uptight English imagination with all the traditional clichés joyously paraded for our entertainment and climaxing in Offenbach’s inevitable Can-Can! Matthew Bourne’s Early Adventures Theatre Royal Brighton, Thursday 17 & Friday 18 May, 7.30pm Saturday 19 May, 2.30pm & 7.30pm.

Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

Live Flamenco every Thursday 10-11 King's Road, Brighton East Sussex BN1 1NE TEL. 01273 328672




* OFF THMONDAY TOaFnyRother offer

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CLUBS: JUICEBOX Juicing it up on the seafront, bringing you some of Brighton’s finest party starters. DJs on rotation include Eddie The Goatboy, Matatatat, George Nunners and very special guests. Playing songs by the likes of The Strokes, The Cure, Klaxons, LCD Soundsystem, 2ManyDJs, M83, Prince and more. Life, Sat 19 May, 11pm-5am, £3/5 MUSIC: MOUNTAIN FIREWORK COMPANY Led by the lilting Irish tones of Gareth McGathan and supported by a fabulous array of musicians, MFC are simply one of the finest exponents of country blues Americana this country has ever produced. Criminally ignored by much of the alt-country fraternity, they have nevertheless built up a sizeable following despite rare outings. This special Fringe gig will be the platform for their third album. Komedia, Wed 16 May, 8.45pm, £10, 8pm

Island Universal

CLUBS: SECRET DISCOTHEQUE A celebration of the songs that formed the soundtrack to your youth. You learnt the lyrics and the dance moves, and you copied the fashion. Playing the greatest records you forgot about, making you fall in love with them all over again. ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, ’00s, the best songs from your youth. Coalition, Thurs 17 May, 11pm 3.30am, £2/3/4

MUSIC: CAMILLE O’SULLIVAN Popular figure here at festival time, she really made her mark via performances at the much missed Spiegeltent – her theatrical and alluring interpretations of dramatic narrative song (Weill, Cave, Waits, Brel et al) are of the highest quality. All Saints’ Church, Wed 16 & Thurs 17 May, 8pm, £16/£10

MUSIC: HOMAGE TO SANDY DENNY A homage to tragic Sandy Denny comes to the Dome

MUSIC: ELVIS COSTELLO Rare chance to see Declan MacManus with The Imposters. Over the years Costello has hovered above notions of ‘cool’ and ‘cutting edge’, but that was what he most certainly was back in the late 70s/early 80s when classic tunes such as ‘Radio Radio’, ‘Watching The Detectives’, ‘Shipbuilding’ (yes, he wrote it) and ‘Pump It Up’ dominated the airwaves. He’s never let up since, veering from the experimental to the full on rock’n’roll animal inside him. However, at £42.50 don’t expect to see many youngsters. Brighton Centre, Wed 16 May, 7.30pm, £42.50


hen artists die young, their oeuvre and image are forever burnished within our sub-consciousness, our memories never to be tarnished by poor recordings or the inevitable ageing process. Hence, the continued deification of Sandy Denny who died aged 31, a woman who endured a torrid last couple of years which included the birth of her only child just a few months before. Sandy Denny suffered a cerebral haemorrhage from tumbling down the stairs of her parents' home in Cornwall in 1978, but even then she was indubitably the First Lady of modern British folk music. The week she died, Kate Bush, then hurtling up the charts with her debut single, ‘Wuthering Heights’, had cited Denny as a formative influence and even name-checked her on the album Never for Ever. Her career really took off when she took over singing duties for Fairport Convention in 1968, the most famous British folk-rock outfit, and even though she was with the group for 18 months, in that time she sang on three of the best albums; What We Did On Our Holidays, Unhalfbricking and their most famous album Liege and Lief. She then formed Fotheringay and released one album, before embarking on a solo career, as well as a turn as guest vocalist on Led Zeppelin’s ‘The Battle of Evermore’. Released on Island, The North Star Grassman and the Ravens, Sandy, Like An Old-Fashioned Waltz and Rendezvous generally combine Denny’s first love of folk with forays into pop and rock, and while patchy affairs, still demonstrate her ability to write outstanding songs to go with that incredible voice. And so Denny’s legacy lives on, gaining momentum particularly in this folk-friendly era we live in. This festival exclusive will feature members of Bellowhead, Maddy Prior, Thae Gilmore, Joan Wasser (Joan As Police Woman), Jerry Donohue, Dave Swarbrick, Lavinia Blackwell, Blair Dunlop, Sam Carter, PP Arnold and others, performing songs form Denny’s career, as well as a number of songs that Thea Gilmore was commissioned by Sandy’s estate to write melodies for – to unrecorded lyrics, that were found in Sandy’s paperwork, and which appeared on Gilmore’s Don’t Stop Singing album last year. The Lady: A Homage to Sandy Denny, Brighton Dome, Mon 21 May, 8pm, £22.50–£10 follow me on twitter



Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

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LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS experience the marvellous, mysterious and peculiar in this theatrical performance. Bring an open mind to this Brighton Fringe event! Complimentary decadent libation. Hendrick’s Library of Delightfully Peculiar Writings, 17–20 May, 8.45pm–9.45pm, £9

COMEDY: AND IT’S GOODNIGHT FROM HER Sha Wylie not doing stand-up for a change but comfortably sitting-down comedic storytelling. An unfolding, unfailingly humorous story – wry reminiscences of a life increasingly lived in bus pass land – visiting some icons along the way. All recounted with her inimitable warmth. Aimed especially at older people but all welcome. St John’s Centre, Thurs 17 May, 4pm, free with donations

COMEDY: SCOTTISH FALSETTO SOCKS – BOO LINGERIE! Fabric fun and packed full of energy, the Scottish Falsetto Socks are back with a brand new offering


espite the low-fi adorability of the sock puppets, this is a show aimed squarely at a comedy audience rather than a family one. Mixing puns, sketches and songs with vaudeville style backchat, this brainchild of Kev F. Sutherland has gathered fans every year since its 2005 inception, going viral on YouTube and generating new material through online shorts at a rate of knots. This latest show from the fluffy heeled ones is billed as a ‘Socky Horror Show’, giving you some clue as to the content and theme of this year’s horror styled fiasco. Promising brand new songs, sketches, socks and violence – as well as zombie socks thrown into the mix – if it’s anything like its predecessors when the Scottish Falsetto Socks Theatre last visited the Brighton Fringe, there will be silliness galore and liberties that positively make you have to laugh and their ridiculousness. All delivered in a high pitched Scottish accent and ping-pong ball eyes. There are two performances of this show, one in the evening and the other handily placed to fill a Sunday afternoon, allowing a splendid time to be had by all, without rinsing you out for the beginning of the working week the next day. Scottish Falsetto Socks – Boo Lingerie! Komedia Studio, Sat 19 May, 7pm and Sun 20 May, 4.30pm, £10/9. follow me on twitter



EVENTS: THE OPEN UNIVERSITY POSTGRADUATE INFORMATION DAY Develop your career, or research a fascinating subject, with postgraduate programmes that fit neatly around your other commitments. Meet tutors from the MBA, MA English, MA Education and MA History programmes, and benefit from careers information and general advice. Jubilee Library, Sat 19 May, 12.30pm–4pm, free, /brightonevent

COMEDY: NEW ACT NIGHT Spot the future stars as the latest new comics from Jill Edwards Comedy Workshops at Komedia take to the stage. Workshops ( graduates include Jimmy Carr, Shappi Khorsandi, Brighton’s own Seann Walsh, Simon Evans and Angela Barnes. Komedia, Tues 15 May, 7pm, £7/5 COMEDY: THE HAT PARTY Fast-moving comedy troupe with much to say about the world. Meet some fine and upstanding visitors to the seaside in this curious, sardonic, sharp witted hat party. Physical theatre with a difference. Doff your caps, re-fasten your fascinators and twizzle your trilbies! The Hurly Burly, Thurs 17–Sat 19 May, 6.30pm, £10/8 EVENTS: A SÉANCE WITH THE OGDEN SISTERS Meet world-famous mediums The Ogden Sisters in 1892 as they contact the spiritual world and

EVENTS: ST ANN’S WELL GARDENS SPRING FESTIVAL A festival for all the family with a live music stage, roller disco, skate park, arts and crafts market, samba band, children’s craft workshops, peaceful retreat, concert band, food stalls and nature activities. As part of the Brighton Fringe. St Ann’s Well Gardens, Sat 19 May, 11am–7pm, Free

Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

Brighton’s No 1 soul choir! Workshops for everyone

Dynamic rehearsals & funky performances! Rehearsals take place on Wednesdays all year during term time At: Salvation Army Congress Hall, 1-6 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton, BN2 3HD

1SOUL youth choir (for 8 – 16 yr olds) – starts 4.45pm Adult Choir 1 - starts 7.00pm, no experience necessary Adult Choir 2 – starts 8.30pm, performance choir Term fees apply

To find out more or for bookings please contact Rachel at igmusic Ltd t. 020 7249 0902

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ART: FLOATING MEMORIES As part of the Mackerel Fayre celebrations, the Floating Memories exhibition inside the Brighton Fishing Museum presents some of the highlights from Brighton Swimming Club’s 150-year-old archive, and will sit alongside other new displays about the West Pier and Punch & Judy. Floating Memories, Brighton Fishing Museum, 201 Kings Road Arches, 01273 723064, Sun 13 May 12:30pm, free. ART: INVISIBLE FLOCK – SEA OF VOICES Transforming Brighton's seafront, artist-group Invisible Flock take you on an interactive journey between Fabrica and the Brighton Marina, guided by storytelling, interactive maps and sea telescopes. At the end of the journey at Brighton Marina, visitors will be invited to cast a message out to sea, by texting a buoy moored at the Marina. Each evening the buoy will convert these


messages to morse code and flash them out to sea. Invisible Flock – Sea of Voices, Begins at Fabrica, 40 Duke Street, Brighton, 01273 778646. Every day from 5–27 May, 12–7pm. FILM: 2 DAYS IN NEW YORK (15) Dir: Julie Delpy The follow-on from Julie Delpy’s comedy 2 Days In Paris, this picks up with protagonist Marion now living in New York with her young child and new boyfriend Mingus (Chris Rock). All well and good until her overbearing father and oversexed sister drop in unannounced to turn her world upside down in 48 hours. Released Fri 18 May Showing at Odeon For full details of film times:

Invisible Flock – Sea of Voices


Director: Larry Charles


acha Baron Cohen reunites with the director Larry Charles who did such a good job with him on previous endeavours – Borat and Bruno, for this third outing of character comedy ambush. This time he appears to be a cross between Saddam Hussein and Colonel Gaddafi, an evil tyrant opposed to democracy in any guise and more than a tad deluded about his own personal talents. At great personal risk General Aladeen (Baron Cohen’s creation) travels to America to keep democracy at bay and his own people lovingly oppressed. As with every Baron Cohen/Charles project, the beauty is bound to be in the detail, as ordinary people and celebrities react – some scripted and some probably not so much – to the many buttons the General pushes in human nature. Also featuring Anna Faris, Megan Fox, Ben Kingsley and John C. Reilly. Released Fri 18 May Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Listings Send your stage listings to: Send your comedy listings to: Send your events listings to: Send your arts listings to: Send your music listings to: Send your club listings to: Send your gay listings to:


Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

034_LS577_stars-TV column_024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 09/05/2012 16:19 Page 2



STARS With Val Aviv

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

The new Moon heralds a time of endless communications, it is possible that you won’t notice it one bit as you are often gabbling with a phone stuck to the side of your face. There’s big financial news to listen out for, with a promise that can change your life.

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

Have you ever felt so able to absorb information? Have you ever been such a sponge for knowledge? The more you see, the more you understand. Don’t be shy to branch out or aim higher, you’ve never been so capable or lucky as you are now.

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

The new Moon in your sign is the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself and face the world with a fresh attitude. This is your new year so instead of feeling that you’re always walking on empty, you can fly on full!

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

A time of retreat is calling you from somewhere in your subconscious. You have probably never had such a socially demanding year as this one. There are healthy ways to escape the stresses of your success, try and find one that works for you.

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

Friends take precedence and it’s a good time to re-think those dreams and ambitions. You’re not quite the person you were when expansive Jupiter first went into your house of recognition, so now that we see you – what are you going to do next?

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

You are just about to receive some recognition. A time of prominence and prestige awaits, enjoy being at the top of your game. Watch those desires, which are hard to suppress, as they are a force to be reckoned with.

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

Are you ready to take a leap? Surprise yourself? Don’t be fooled into thinking you have finished learning everything about life. Something new is always around the corner as you are just about to find out. Be open to expanding your mind further.

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

Sometimes you have to think really big in order to grow beyond your current status. Put some effort into making your dreams a reality. Through your mind, you can change the world and through your will, you can change your mind.

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

Spending time with new people reminds you to spend time enjoying the lighter side of life. Being of service will hold a lot of merit so don’t forget to see things from the other point of view .

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Communications pick up and it’s not a bad thing. If you’ve found yourself struggling in silence, sometimes a conversation here and a helping hand there, will help you stay on top. Being adventurous in your beliefs is empowering.

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

On the quiet you have been silently confronting some of your biggest fears with a positive, can do attitude. You’ll have to feed that desire for uncovering the mysterious side of life and dive in. With your currant vantage point, you can only succeed.

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

A spring clean is in order with the new Moon making a tense aspect to the idealist Neptune. Make your home reflect your artistic flair and you’re bound to be glad you did. Broaden your horizons by getting comfortable in more social settings. Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at:

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 15 – 21 MAY those two sort of go together, but you get the general idea of broad strokes and finer details of information. I suppose it’s something like writing a headline about a person, then a standfirst (that sub heading bit introducing the article), and then the With Victoria Nangle main body of the actual story. I was always taught that when you write a news story you should put the most important facts at the top, as people tend to not have such an attention span that allows for them all to still be paying attention by the time you sign off. The name of president’s dog? That goes at the end. The name of the president? That goes at the start. Simple really. And that’s the rub here a bit. It’s not all that complicated a job to do, just to get. Most of these hopefuls are pretty young, bright and all are really ixing career with entertainment probably photogenic. Perhaps it’s learning a work ethic, but it works if you want a career in entertainment. doesn’t seem like rocket science that the person who Well, obviously it does if you want to be nips down the shops and gets the ‘celebs’ sweets in an actor, TV presenter or musician, but since when the middle of a photoshoot is going to get further did those reporting on the entertainment become than the one who spends half of it not knowing who the entertainment? the ‘celebs’ are without doing Welcome to The Exclusives. much about it. You’d think a “Perhaps it’s learning little research and preparation It’s The Apprentice but with a job in magazine journalism at into the genre of magazines a work ethic, but it the end of it as the golden they were kicking off with prize, and no-one gets kicked might have been in order. doesn’t seem like off at the end of the episode. I could be being harsh. And everyone’s rather nice. And rocket science...” This week was more! there’s a poppy soundtrack magazine and next week synonymous with ITV2. In fact, is a more rocky title, which it’s more like The Real World than The Apprentice. underdog Stu is relishing. But it is still supposed To be fair, it’s not their fault that all six of the to be work. There’s no use making faces because candidates are rather photogenic, and none of them you’re bored of transcribing some else’s interview come from the same background. Hayleigh is pushy with a Z-lister. First off, even movie stars have to and bolshy but she gets the job done. Well, she learn lines. Second of all – it’s a traineeship! Who does know her way around the glamorous world of do you think does these jobs?! photoshoots herself being a glamour model. Did we It’s strangely compelling, if with a bit of an mention she’s a glamour model? She’s a glamour anticlimax as no-one gets fired at the end of the model, you know. And has just finished her degree first episode. Give ‘em the boot! It’s also slightly odd in English Language and Literature. Just tack that to see people competing so hard to get a job with on at the end, but really she’s a glamour model. elements that are not that dissimilar to the one All six of them have a broad label in a similar you’re doing (that’d be me). Ho hum. In these times style, although access is given to further everybody wants a job, even if it doesn’t come with information as the process develops. You know, just a million pound pay check. Just a pay check can be in case you want to flesh them out to be real good enough. And, of course, a camera crew. people. Ellie is a bubbly barmaid – and a journalism The Exclusives, ITV2, Thursday 17 May graduate. Christopher has overcome his roots in follow me on twitter latestvicky care – and is also a university graduate. Actually,

Telly Talk

Ice cream scoop! M

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tuesday 15 Silk BBC1, 9pm Legal wrangles used to be enough for those in the pretty wigs and authoritative voices, but now it’s got political too. That doesn’t mean that new QC Martha Costello is entering parliament, simply that defending a member of one of Britain’s biggest crime outfits was always going to be tricky. Welcome back.

Sex, Lies And Rinsing Guys Channel 4, 10pm Suffragettes? Anyone ever heard of those? How about being able to support yourself? We suppose this could be shoe-horned into that but we’re certain it’s not what Amelia Pankhurst had in mind. This programme enters the world of ‘mutual relationships’ in which girls use their beauty and charm to get ‘gifts’ from men.

Cardinal Burns E4, 10.30pm More comedy sketches with Seb Cardinal and Dustin Demi Burns. With a title like that you’d expect at least one religious lampooning but no, tonight’s comedic catch of the day covers a class of nobodies learning how to be rock stars, Banksy’s late-night stake out getting his step-son in trouble, and pirate cabby tales.




6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3.35 Lockie Leonard 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Who Let The Dogs Out? 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on The One Show. 7.30 EastEnders Phil and Shirley rake over their past in an epic showdown, while Ian begins to unravel as the enormity of Ben’s horrifying admission sinks in. 8.00 Holby City Sacha encourages medical student Ella, refusing to accept that she is out of her depth. Elliot struggles with technological advances on Darwin, and Frieda finds herself making a surprising decision. 9.00 Silk See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Matt Lucas Awards Matt Lucas’nominations for his own awards are provided by comedy actress Ruth Jones, writer and performer David Baddiel and comedian and actor Griff Rhys Jones. 11.10 Kevin Bridges: What’s The Story? Kevin Bridges tackles some thorny issues that have also inspired his funniest material. 11.40 The Estate Fly-on-the-wall series. 12.10am Weatherview 12.15 Sign Zone: The Apprentice 1.15 Super Smart Animals 2.15 Horizon: Global Weirding 3.15 Great British Railway Journeys 3.45 Antiques Road Trip 4.30 BBC News


6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.10 Little Charley Bear 9.25 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.35 Bob The Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9.45 The Koala Brothers 9.55 Iconicles 10.20 Woolly & Tig 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Nature’s Top 40 1.30 Instant Restaurant 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Antiques Road Trip Anita and Mark’s antique hunt continues. Their road trip from the Scottish borders to Sunderland uncovers a remarkable find. 7.30 Great British Menu It is the battle of the London and South East chefs - newcomers Phil Howard, Graham Garrett and Marcus McGuinness. 8.00 The Town Taking On China Documentary following a cushion manufacturer’s attempts to shift jobs from his Chinese factory back to the UK. At his factory, orders are up but a third of his new staff have left. 9.00 Great Ormond Street Documentary series based at the pioneering London children’s hospital. An intimate portrait of two surgeons in Great Ormond Street’s General Surgery unit. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Joining Jools in this edition of the show are Dexys, Hot Chip, Rumer, Jimmy Webb, Ben Howard, June Tabor and Oysterband.. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 The 70s Historian Dominic Sandbrook takes viewers on an eyeopening and refreshing journey deep into the 1970s. 12.20am BBC News 3.55 Ask Lara


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme 5.00 The Chase

6.10am Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.35 According To Jim 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Secret Millionaire Ireland 10.00 Location, Location, Location 11.00 The Restoration Man 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 River Cottage Bites 12.20 Glamour Puds 12.55 FILM: The Professionals (1966) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sean’s heart-to-heart with Ruby ends in embarrassment. 7.30 Countrywise Kitchen Mike Robinson is in the ancient kingdom of Wessex, travelling its rivers to the Thames. 8.00 Martin Clunes: Horsepower From remotest Mongolia to the Windsor Greys of Buckingham Palace, horse lover Martin Clunes travels the world to unlock the secrets of a partnership which shaped the world. 9.00 Dirty Britain First in a two-part documentary in which the dirty secrets about the way modern Brits live are revealed. A pair of Manchester sewermen share their first-hand knowledge of the nation’s poor diet, an event cleaner offers insight into how Brits behave in a crowd at Cheltenham Racecourse and two window cleaners face the terrifying task of keeping a huge national icon absolutely spotless. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Celebrity Juice The irrepressible Keith Lemon presents the topical showbiz panel show. 11.20 Nature’s Fury Chris Terrill goes in search of some of the world’s biggest storms. 12.15am Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Brendan is seething when he realises that Walker has lied to him and unearths his real intentions for being in Hollyoaks. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live From The Clinic Dr Christian Jessen and Dr Dawn Harper host the series showcasing medical diagnosis as it happens. In this episode, a national interactive lesson in how to check breasts. 9.00 Hidden Talent Richard Bacon hosts the series which uncovers individuals’ previously hidden talents. 34-year-old charity contracts manager Jayson Khun-Dkar emerges with the hidden talent to be an opera singer. It’s a total surprise for someone who can’t read music and has had no formal musical training! 10.00 Sex, Lies And Rinsing Guys See highlights. 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own chat show. 12.10am Random Acts 12.15 Caribbean Adventure 1.20 KOTV Boxing Weekly 1.45 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 2.10 Mobil 1 The Grid 2.40 European Rallycross 3.05 FIA GT1 Championship 4.00 FIM Superbike World Championship 2012 4.25 Road To London 2012: Paralympics Extra 5.20 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With... 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Highland Emergency 12.45 Mexican Food Made Simple 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Law And Order 3.15 FILM: Sacrifices Of The Heart (2007) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away As Henri and Casey share a final kiss, VJ sees them and is left confused about what he has just witnessed. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Dirty Great Machines Documentary series. Climb aboard monster maritime machines that go where others fear to float. 8.00 War Hero In My Family Documentary series. Actresscomedian Helen Lederer traces the poignant but life-affirming story of her Czech grandfather, who helped to bring the Nazis to justice after his family perished in Auschwitz. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Crime drama. Doc Robbins’s wife Judy comes under suspicion firstly of having an affair, then of murder, when a man’s dead body is found in their bedroom. 10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. The killing of an old man by a single bullet, witnessed by a packed subway carriage looks like an open and shut case – until it is discovered that the victim was not an old man and the weapon was not a gun. 11.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. Hawkes is led astray by his girlfriend, Camille, who gets him to phone in sick so that they can go to a gourmet food festival. 12.00am CSI: Miami 12.55 SuperCasino 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 HouseBusters (x2) 5.10 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Khan V Peterson: Countdown 9.30 Football League 11.00 Hold The Back Page Special 12.00pm SPL Round-Up 12.30 Football League 2.00 Barclays Premier League Review 3.00 SPL Round-Up 3.30 Hold The Back Page Special 4.30 Barclays Premier League Review 5.30 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Amir Khan: Behind The Ropes 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.30 A League Of Their Own 12.30am Football League 2.00 Amir Khan: Behind The Ropes 2.30 Sporting Greats: Joe Frazier 3.00 Revista De La Liga 4.30 Football League

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Players Championship 9.00 PGA Tour Classic 10.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 5.00pm Sporting Greats: Joe Frazier 5.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 6.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 8.00 IRB Sevens 10.00 Amir Khan: Behind The Ropes 10.30 Sporting Greats: Joe Frazier 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 12.00am IRB Sevens 2.00 Football’s Greatest Managers 2.30 Football Asia

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Soccer AM The Best Bits 8.00 Nascar Sprint Cup Series 9.00 Elite League Speedway 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm British Miler 12.30 Khan v Peterson: Countdown – The Story Of The Fight 1.00 Nascar Sprint Cup Series 2.00 Thrillseekers 2.30 British Miler 3.00 Elite League Speedway 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 P1 Superstock Powerboats 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Australian Ironman 12.00am P1 Superstock Powerboats 12.30 Nascar Sprint Cup Series 1.30 Sports Unlimited 2.30 P1 Superstock Powerboats Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Raising Hope (x2) 1.00 Airline USA (x2) 2.00 The 4400 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Touch 9.00 Starlings 10.00 FILM: Hard To Kill (1990) 11.50 Law And Order 12.50am Airline USA (x2) 1.50 Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 9.00 Britain Unzipped 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Britain Unzipped 1.25 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.55 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 The Story Of British Pathe 9.00 Roundhead Or Cavalier: Which One Are You? 10.00 The Man Who Discovered Egypt 11.00 The Bridge 12.00am The Story Of British Pathe 1.00 Roundhead Or Cavalier: Which One Are You?

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 The Cube: Celebrity Special 8.00 Britain’s Got More Talent: Kids & Pets Unleashed 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 FILM: Hannibal (2001) 12.40am Penn & Teller: Fool Us

10.15am Upstairs, Downstairs 11.20 Kavanagh QC 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Murder, She Wrote (x2) 4.05 On The Buses (x2) 5.15 Terry And June 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Wycliffe 9.00 Taggart 10.00 Ghostboat 11.35 Numb3rs 12.35am Kavanagh QC 2.00 ITV3 Nightscreen

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 The Inbetweeners 10.30 Cardinal Burns. See highlights. 11.00 The Cleveland Show 11.30 The Ricky Gervais Show 12.00am Bob’s Burgers

3.00pm Four In A Bed 3.35 The Restoration Man 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Undercover Boss USA 6.45 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Restoration Man 10.00 Turtle Boy: A Bodyshock Special 11.05 The Fairy Jobmother USA 12.05am The Good Wife

11.00am Love Is A Many Splendored Thing (1955) 1.05pm Up Periscope (1959) 3.15 I Was Monty’s Double (1958) 5.15 Carry On Cabby (1963) 7.05 Monster-in-Law (2005) 9.00 Fatal Attraction (1987) 11.20 Four Brothers (2005) 1.30am Enduring Love (2004)

Every night is a Saturday night in Brighton ALL your listings at

S M 6. Sp pr pa w Sp re lo an 8. Sp pr pa w Pe to w La Ac of Th W jo of A la Pr Le pl Ba lo ac 3. an th 3. Br jo of Le Pr

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wednesday 16 Secret Eaters Channel 4, 8pm With being told we’re too big, too skinny, eating too many carbs, all carbs, all protein etc. it can be difficult to decipher exactly the right way to eat these days. Or so it would seem when Anna Richardson visits siblings Jill and Stuart, both desperate to lose weight but certain they’re not eating enough. Tricksy.

The Apprentice BBC1, 9pm Mwah ha ha! Plenty of business pitfalls and traps for the teams to fall into this week as they are given the task of raising awareness of English sparkling wine, with the final test to pitch thier marketing campaigns to discerning wine experts. With half of them ‘testing’ the wine, will they lose focus? Boom! Boom!

The Only Way Is Essex ITV2, 10pm Can you hear the theme tune already? Is it stuck in your head? Good. Just like a song that takes over the charts for a summer (you know who you are Whigfield and Bryan Adams), this just keeps on gathering momentum until it’s stronger than the sum of its parts. Just, instead of a dance it’s got catchphrases. Reem.




6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3.35 Lockie Leonard 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Horrible Histories: Gory Games 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Planet Earth Live The global live wildlife event continues, as the teams present the very latest news on all the animal stars. In Kenya, Richard has more news on the vulnerable lion cubs and the newborn elephant calf. 8.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Home renovation series. Nick Knowles and the team head to Enfield where they meet Eric Rivers, a keen sportsman who is gradually being deprived of the use of his body by motor neurone disease. Eric, his wife Davina and their three daughters need their terraced house adapted for Eric’s needs. BBC TV license to the rescue! 9.00 The Apprentice See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10.45 FILM: Cast Away (2000) Starring Tom Hanks. Adventure drama in which an obsessive executive for a worldwide delivery company finds himself stranded on a desert island after his flight home for Christmas ends in disaster. 1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.35 The 70s Historian 2.35 Great Ormond Street 3.35 Chaplains: Angels Of Mersey 4.05 Great British Railway 4.35 News


6.00 – 8.45am Children’s television 8.45 Big City Park 9.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.10 Little Charley Bear 9.25 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.35 Bob The Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9.45 The Koala Brothers 9.55 Iconicles 10.20 Woolly & Tig 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Instant Restaurant 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Antiques Road Trip Anita and Mark’s final leg takes them from Richmond in North Yorkshire to the auction showdown in Huby near York. 7.30 Great British Menu It is the battle of the London and South East chefs – newcomers Phil Howard, Graham Garrett and Marcus McGuinness. 8.00 Antiques Uncovered Historian Dr Lucy Worsley and antiques expert Mark Hill examine objects that are associated with ceremonies. Lucy traces the history of the wedding dress, while Mark discovers how you put the sparkle into a diamond. 9.00 Felicity Kendal’s Indian Shakespeare Quest Long before she set foot on stage in England, Felicity Kendal launched her acting career in India, where her parents ran a theatre company called Shakespeareana. Here she returns to the land of her childhood to discover the full story of India’s enduring loveaffair with Shakespeare. 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Dara O Briain and guests comment on the latest series of The Apprentice. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 The Town Taking On China Documentary. 12.20am BBC News 3.20 Ask Lara


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Dan goes on the warpath when Sean claims that Ruby came on to him. 7.30 The Unforgettable Noele Gordon A tribute to Noele Gordon, who is best known for her role in the series Crossroads. 8.00 Lewis New series of the detective drama. When botanist Liv Nash accidentally digs up the body of the recently buried Murray Hawes, Lewis and Hathaway are set upon a seemingly impossible quest. Murray was a man possessed, fixated upon solving an impossible riddle by Lewis Carroll. But could his obsession have been enough to get him killed? 10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 10.35 My Dad Is A Woman Lesley Manville narrates this documentary following two families in which one member goes through gender reassignment. There are estimated to be around 6,000 transsexuals in the UK, many of whom are married and have children. The programme gains intimate access to the lives of two families in which a man becomes the woman he has always wanted to be. 11.35 Total Emergency Series following all three emergency services in Sheffield. 12.30am Jackpot247 2.30 FILM: All Creatures Great And Small (1974) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.35 According To Jim 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Secret Millionaire Ireland 10.00 Location, Location, Location 11.00 The Restoration Man 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 SuperScrimpers 1.05 Channel 4 Racing 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Brendan recruits Joel to teach Walker a lesson, but when the deal goes sour, Joel finds he’s out of his depth and in danger. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Secret Eaters See highlights. 9.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at the A&E department of King’s College Hospital over a 24-hour period. 10.00 The Killing US thriller. Sarah hunts down Rosie’s backpack as Holder falls from grace. Mitch reemerges while Stan continues to entangle himself with the mob. Richmond faces up to his situation. 10.55 2 Broke Girls US sitcom. Max and Caroline break into Caroline’s old townhouse to get her night guard, and soon realise they can take stuff to sell online. 11.30 Desperate Housewives Quirky US drama series. Susan discovers that Mike had been hiding a secret from her for years. 12.30am Random Acts 12.35 MUSIC ON 4: The Great Escape Festival 1.05 Spotlight: Indie And Rock 1.20 4Play: Spector 1.30 4Play: We Are Augustines 1.45 Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 2.00 Launched At Red Bull Studios 2.10 The Crush 3.05 Smallville 3.50 St Elsewhere 4.35 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.50am Chuldren’s television 7.50 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 8.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With... 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Highland Emergency 12.45 Mexican Food Made Simple 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Law And Order 3.15 FILM: Defending Our Kids: The Julie Posey Story (2003) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away A drunken Romeo kisses Ruby. She starts to tell him that she loves him, but he passes out before she can finish. 6.30 5 News 7.00 The Gadget Show: World Tour Entertainment show devoted to gadgets. Jason and Pollyanna arrive in Manhattan on a mission – to use the New York streets to test some of the most sought-after gadgets of 2012. 8.00 Emergency Bikers Documentary series following Britain’s emergency paramedic and police bikers. 9.00 NCIS US crime drama series. The team has to undergo mandatory psychological evaluations while investigating the death of a naval commander found shot on a navy vessel. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. Benson and Stabler investigate the murder of a top lawyer who also worked as a stripper. To re-inforce a moral sterotype? 10.55 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. Two men are charged with rape and murder after the disappearance of a Canadian student. 11.55 Pokerstars: The Big Game 12.55am SuperCasino 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 HouseBusters (x2) 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Amir Khan: Behind The Ropes 9.30 Football League 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.30pm Sporting Greats: Joe Frazier 1.00 Amir Khan: Behind The Ropes 1.30 Football League 3.00 Revista De La Liga 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 Total Rugby 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Lamont Peterson: Behind The Ropes 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Lamont Peterson: Behind The Ropes 12.00am Football League 1.30 You’re On Sky Sports 2.30 Lamont Peterson: Behind The Ropes 3.00 Football League 4.30 Lamont Peterson: Behind The Ropes 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Total Rugby

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Australian Ironman 9.00 IRB Sevens 11.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 5.00pm Inside The PGA Tour 5.30 European Tour Weekly 6.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Total Rugby 9.30 Sporting Greats 10.00 Lamont Peterson: Behind The Ropes 10.30 Sporting Greats 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 FIBA World Basketball 12.00am PGA EuroPro Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 7.30am P1 Superstock Powerboats 8.00 PGA EuroPro Tour Golf 10.00 Ladies European Tour Golf 11.00 P1 Superstock Powerboats 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Australian Ironman 1.00 Ladies European Tour Golf 2.00 IRB Sevens 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 British Motocross Championship 7.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 PGA EuroPro Tour Golf 10.00 Cage Fighter 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 Cage Fighter 12.00am Watersports World 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Professional 8 Ball Pool Masters Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Raising Hope 12.30 Road Wars 1.00 Airline USA (x2) 2.00 The 4400 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Emergency Abroad 9.00 Touch 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Airline USA (x2)

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride USA 7.50 Don’t Tell The Bride: Greatest Moments 8.00 Free Speech 9.00 Don’t Blame The Dog 10.00 FILM: Con Air (1997) 11.50 Family Guy (x2) 12.30am American Dad! (x2) 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.45 Don’t Blame The Dog 2.45 The 16-YearOld Killer: Cyntoia’s Story

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Henry VIII: Patron Or Plunderer? 9.00 Metalworks! 10.00 Parkinson: The Interviews 10.40 FILM: Apocalypto (2007) 12.50am Henry VIII: Patron Or Plunderer? 1.50 The First World War From Above 2.50 Great British Railway Journeys

4.40pm Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 8.00 Britain’s Got More Talent: All Stars 9.00 Peter Andre: My Life 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex. See highlights. 10.45 FILM: Deep Blue Sea (1999) 12.55am The Only Way Is Essex

11.15am Kavanagh QC 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Murder, She Wrote (x2) 4.00 On The Buses (x2) 5.10 Terry And June 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 An Audience With Barry Manilow 9.00 FILM: Gregory’s Girl (1981) 11.00 Prime Suspect 1.10am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 4.00 Glee 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: Take The Lead (2006) 10.20 FILM: Saw IV (2007) 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.10 Scrubs

3.00pm Four In A Bed 3.35 The Restoration Man 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Undercover Boss USA 6.45 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 10.00 One Born Every Minute 11.05 The Restoration Man 12.10am Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare

11.00am The Moonraker (1958) 12.40pm David And Bathsheba (1951) 2.55 Moonfleet (1955) 4.40 23 Paces To Baker Street (1956) 6.45 The Land Girls (1998) 9.00 Taken (2008) 10.50 Sweeney Todd (2007) 1.05am Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)




Andrew Kay interviews Brighton Festival’s Guest Director for 2012: Vanessa Redgrave, star of the stage & screen

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thursday 17 The Great Euro Crash With Robert Peston BBC2, 9pm Taking the long view of the euro does not just mean giving it a Paddington Bear stare and tutting at it. Here Robert Peston tracks it from Churchill’s vision of a United States of Europe to the recent bail outs of Greece, Portugal and Ireland, looking at its origins, history and unsteady future.

Grandma’s House BBC2, 10pm Oh, the life of a struggling pseudo celebrity makes cringeworthy, fabulous comedy. Tanya is thrilled that Simon’s comeback to TV has started, albeit with a small interview promoting his play. But an off the cuff comment about an opera singer’s tumour looks to eclipse the thesp in him, thanks to a few popular newspapers.

The Exclusives ITV2, 9pm Another extended job interview programme. We’ve got The Apprentice, we’ve had all of those Saturday night auditions with Lord Lloyd Webber, and now it’s this. Six aspiring journalists compete for the chance to win thier dream job with one of Europe’s largest magazine publishers. Starting at the BRITs.




6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3.35 Lockie Leonard 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Young Dracula 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ian lashes out at Ben as he continues to struggle with recent revelations, leading Phil to make an unexpected plea. 8.00 Planet Earth Live Richard Hammond and Julia Bradbury present more live updates from around the world, with the latest news and drama from the lives of the baby bears, lions, elephants, meerkats, monkeys, whales, otters and more. 9.00 New Tricks Drama. The UCOS team are drawn into a world of immigration loopholes, Albanian gangs and family feuds when they reinvestigate the death of an unidentified male discovered on farmland outside Waltham Forest in 1996, in what appeared to be a crucifixion. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs a debate on the big stories of the week from Cardiff, with a panel including astrophysicist and former Queen guitarist Brian May. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: The Truth About Tax – Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.55 Antiques Roadshow 2.55 Modern Spies 3.55 BBC News


6.00 – 8.45am Children’s television 8.45 Big City Park 9.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.10 Little Charley Bear 9.25 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.35 Bob The Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9.45 The Koala Brothers 9.55 Iconicles 10.20 Woolly & Tig 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Nature’s Top 40 1.30 Instant Restaurant 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 London 2012: The Olympic Flame Handover 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Antiques Road Trip There are some tactical shenanigans from rivals Philip and Catherine, as they travel from Perth to Paisley. 7.30 Great British Menu It is the battle of the London and South East chefs –- newcomers Phil Howard, Graham Garrett and Marcus McGuinness. 8.00 Two Greedy Italians: Still Hungry Antonio Carluccio and Gennaro Contaldo return for more culinary investigations into Italian culture. Gennaro and Antonio look at the modern Italian man and ask if there is still a place in Italy for macho men. They start in the rugged mountain villages of Lazio where men still tend their flocks, provide for the family and prove their worth by demonstrating how much they can eat. With this lovely food on offer, that’s not a huge surprise. 9.00 The Great Euro Crash With Robert Peston See highlights. 10.00 Grandma’s House See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis. 11.20 The Town Taking On China Documentary. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Children At Work (x4)


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lisa struggles to put on a brave face, while Zak remains distant in hospital. 7.30 The Great British Weather: Tonight Jonathan Maitland investigates the impact of our changing climate as Britain goes from the hottest March since 1957 to the wettest April since records began. 8.00 Emmerdale Megan is gutted when her reunion with Robbie ends in rejection. 8.30 Coronation Street Nick is horrified when he spots Kylie in a lap-dancing club. 9.00 Long Lost Family Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell present the series which aims to reunite family members after years of separation. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Dennis Waterman Dennis Waterman opens up about his colourful love life, including his tempestuous relationship with his third wife Rula Lenska. He answers allegations of domestic violence that have haunted him since he broke up with her in the mid-1990s. 11.35 The Last Word 12.05am Jackpot247 2.35 The Great British Weather: Tonight 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.35 According To Jim 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 Location, Location, Location 11.00 The Restoration Man 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 SuperScrimpers 1.05 Channel 4 Racing 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks While Joel fights for his life, Brendan is hellbent on revenge. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent Phil travels to Leeds, where the broad mix of buyers – from first-timers to retirees is causing headaches for vendors at either end of the homeselling spectrum. 9.00 The Hoarder Next Door In Somerset, Helen and her 18-year-old son Jack, a college student, are living in eight years’ worth of hoarded clutter, making it impossible to even use the kitchen. In Blackburn, mum Yvonne is hoarding all the toys, videos and clothes from her children’s childhood. 10.00 24 Hours In A&E Documentary series following patients at the A&E department of King’s College Hospital over a 24-hour period. 11.05 The Secret Millionaire Series in which millionaires go undercover in a deprived area in the hope of changing someone’s life with a generous gift. 12.10am Random Acts 12.15 Sex, Lies And Rinsing Guys 1.10 Dispatches: Watching The Detectives 2.05 Extreme A & E 3.00 Unreported World 3.25 Hidden Talent 4.20 A Guide To Taking A Photo 4.25 Deal Or No Deal 5.20 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With...12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Highland Emergency 12.45 Mexican Food Made Simple 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Law & Order 3.15 FILM: I Dream Of Murder (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away When Sid catches Sasha and Xavier passionately kissing, he becomes concerned with where their relationship is heading. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the first day’s play of the First Test at Lord’s as England take on The West Indies. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes. 8.00 World’s Scariest Drivers Documentary looking at incredible stories filmed by ordinary people. 9.00 The Restaurant Inspector Restaurateur Fernando Peire comes to the aid of struggling eateries across Britain. Nigerian Godson brought Afro-Caribbean cuisine to Sheffield seventeen years ago when he realised his dream and proudly launched his own restaurant. But as the recession bites hard, Godson is struggling to tempt the customers in. Fernando is convinced that to survive, major changes need to be made. 10.00 FILM: Snatch (2000) Starring Benicio Del Toro, Dennis Farina, Vinnie Jones, Brad Pitt, Jason Statham and Alan Ford. Violent comedy crime caper centred around three groups of villains intent on retrieving a missing diamond. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 HouseBusters 4.45 Nick’s Quest 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Lamont Peterson: Behind The Ropes 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 LIVE Test Cricket 7.00pm Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 England V West Indies Test Cricket 12.00am The Rugby Club 1.00 Football League 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 England V West Indies Test Cricket 5.00 Ringside

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.30 Football League 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 5.00pm Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Sporting Greats: Joe Frazier 6.00 Ringside 7.00 LIVE Premier League Darts 10.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 11.00 Time Of Our Lives 12.00am Ringside 1.00 Sporting Greats: Joe Frazier 1.30 Netball Superleague 3.30 Time Of Our Lives 4.30 Rugby Club 5.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly

Sky Sports 3 6.30am British Motocross Championship 7.30 FIBA World Basketball 8.00 Professional 8 Ball Pool Masters 9.00 World Cup Of Pool 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Lamont Peterson: Behind The Ropes 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.30 NRL Fulltime 6.00 Super League Supermen 7.00 Rugby Club 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am America’s Cup World Series 1.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 2.00 PGA Tour Golf

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Road Wars 1.00 Airline USA (x2) 2.00 The 4400 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 The Middle 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 Glee (x2) 10.00 House 11.00 NCIS: LA 12.00am Law And Order 1.00 Airline USA (x2) 2.00 Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK

7.00pm The Apprentice 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 9.30 Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Britain Unzipped 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Russell Howard’s Good News 12.45 Angry Boys 1.15 Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1977 8.00 Classic Blue Peter From TVC 8.30 Top Of The Pops: 1977 9.00 Tales Of Television Centre 10.30 Coldplay At The BBC 11.20 Top Of The Pops: 1977 (x2) 12.40am Roundhead Or Cavalier: Which One Are You? 1.40 Birdsong 3.05 Tales Of Television Centre

12.30pm Nanny 911 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 American Idol: Performance 9.00 The Exclusives. See higlhights.10.00 FILM: I Am Legend (2007) 12.00am The Exclusives

11.20am Kavanagh QC 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Murder, She Wrote (x2) 4.05 On The Buses (x2) 5.15 Terry And June 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Monk 9.00 Taggart 10.00 Blue Murder 11.35 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: May And June (x2) 1.35am The Return Of Sherlock Holmes

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 How I Met Your Mother 9.00 2 Broke Girls 9.30 Happy Endings 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Very Important People 11.00 Fonejacker 11.30 Cardinal Burns 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.00pm Four In A Bed 3.35 River Cottage Spring 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Undercover Boss USA 6.45 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Father Ted (x2) 11.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 12.05am Turtle Boy: A Bodyshock Special 1.05 The Good Wife

11.00am Whisky (2004) 12.55pm The Well (1951) 2.40 Campbell’s Kingdom (1958) 4.40 The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) 7.05 Big Momma’s House 2 (2006) 9.00 John Tucker Must Die (2006) 10.45 Law Abiding Citizen (2009) 12.50am Tales From The Golden Age (2009)




Peep Show’s Isy Suttie brings her one-woman show ‘Pearl & Dave’ to Brighton Fringe. Victoria Nangle chats to the comedian on Festival!

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friday 18 Unreported World Channel 4, 7.30pm With everybody preparing to descend upon Ukraine for this summer’s European football championships, billions has been invested into the infrastructure projects to support the event. Reporter Marcel Theroux and director Suemay Oram looks to the side though, at the dangerous lives of many young people there.

The Mentalist Channel Five, 9pm It’s quite refreshing to have a male/female drama dynamic that doesn’t carry some undercurrent of sexual tension. Lisbon is the big sister to Castle’s mischievous younger bro – affectionately authoritative. So when her former fiancé turns up during an investigation brotherly protection is bound to kick in.

Lip Service BBC3, 9pm The busy, busy lives and loves of this group of Glasgow ladies When Sam makes an unexpected visit to the flat, a wedge is driven between her and her friends. No, she didn’t steal the last of the cheese but it’s certainly not all happy families either. And the situation with Lexy’s stalker intensifies. Nasty.




6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Robbed, Raided, Reunited 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3.35 Lockie Leonard 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders Ian’s life begins to slowly crumble around him, forcing him to make a shocking decision about his future. 8.30 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon hosts the comedy panel show. Lee Mack is joined by Bob Mortimer and Patsy Kensit and David Mitchell is joined by Greg Davies and Richard Osman. Outrageous porkies! 9.00 Have I Got News For You Popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, a guest host and guest panellists. 9.30 Not Going Out Sitcom. Lucy and Lee embark on an experiment with a bottle of home-made potato hooch to prove once and for all that you can remember what happens when you are mashed. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show On Graham’s sofa are Hollywood star Will Smith, Take That’s Gary Barlow, and music legend Sir Tom Jones. 11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.35 The Matt Lucas Awards Matt Lucas once more presides over his own awards ceremony. 12.10am EastEnders 2.05 Weatherview 2.10 Sign Zone: Silk 3.10 Question Time 4.10 BBC News


6.00 – 8.45am Children’s television 8.45 Big City Park 9.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.10 Little Charley Bear 9.25 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.35 Bob The Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9.45 The Koala Brothers 9.55 Iconicles 10.20 Woolly & Tig 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Hands On Nature 1.30 Instant Restaurant 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Antiques Road Trip The competition between Philip and Catherine intensifies. 7.30 Great British Menu It is decision time for the chefs from the London and South East region. 8.00 Coast On Eriskay Nick Crane gets unique access to the island’s close knit communities, and on the Isle of Lewis Nick meets the leader of the ‘Guga Hunters’. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Monty Don returns to Longmeadow with ideas and plants gathered at the Malvern Spring Show. 9.00 Maestro At The Opera In the final episode, the remaining two would-be-conductors go head-to-head in the quest to master the ultimate art form – opera. The final two must conduct Act II of Puccini’s masterpiece La Boheme. 10.00 Episodes Comedy series. Matt misses his ‘bromance’ with Sean and tries to rekindle their friendship by buying him the sports car of his dreams. But Sean is not willing to forgive or forget that easily. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 The Review Show Kirsty Wark and guests give their verdict on Sacha Baron Cohen’s new film The Dictator, and more. 11.50 Later... With Jools Holland Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.55am Taken 2.20 BBC News


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Declan visits Robbie behind Megan’s back. 7.30 Coronation Street Eva is determined to uncover Nick’s lies. 8.00 Poms In Paradise A look at the lives of British expats in Sydney. Jimmy and Aine are leaving their beloved Manchester and emigrating to Sydney, but will Australia offer what they are looking for? 8.30 Coronation Street Eva’s suspicions about Nick and Kylie are confirmed. Dev confides in Stella as Karl keeps Sunita sweet. 9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Lulu Lulu joins Piers Morgan to talk about her life and 50-year career. The singer, who first burst onto the music scene when she was just 14 years old, reveals how Davy Jones of the Monkees broke her heart and talks about her high-profile marriage to Maurice Gibb of the Bee Gees. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Raw Deal (1986) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kathryn Harrold, Sam Wanamaker. All-action adventure about an ex-FBI agent who goes undercover to infiltrate the Chicago gangsters responsible for the death of his former boss’s son. 12.30am The Store 2.35 FILM: Unleashed (2005) 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.05am The Treacle People 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.35 According To Jim 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 Location, Location, Location 11.00 The Restoration Man 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 SuperScrimpers 1.05 Channel 4 Racing 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Brendan tries to make amends with Cheryl. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World See highlights. 7.55 8.00 Come Dine With Me In Great Yarmouth, hairdresser Sarah Aldous is the first of the group to hear trainee barrister JP’s extremely critical opinion. 9.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Topical panel show. Host Jimmy Carr and team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by a raft of famous faces. 9.30 Very Important People Celebrity impression show with Morgana Robinson and Terry Mynott. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man US TV star Kim Kardashian pops in for a chat, musical guest Nelly Furtado performs her new single, and Sean Lock and Jon Richardson chat about Channel 4’s Comedy Gala. 11.10 Stand Up For The Week A satirical take on the big stories and themes of the week. 11.55 FILM: Team America: World Police (2004) Starring Trey Parker, Matt Stone. Off-the-wall comedy made by the creators of South Park. 1.40am Random Acts 1.45 My Name Is Earl (x2) 2.25 Dirty Sexy Money (x2) 3.50 St Elsewhere 4.35 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With... 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Highland Emergency 12.45 Mexican Food Made Simple 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.15 FILM: Jane Doe: Vanishing Act (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away John and Harvey are still butting heads, even after a dinner party is arranged to calm tensions. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the second day’s play of the First Test at Lord’s as England take on The West Indies. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan, Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes. 8.00 Dirty Great Machines Documentary series revealing massive machines. Meet the machines that are making mincemeat of the hardest rocks on the planet. Create your own mental imagery involving trolls for that too. 9.00 The Mentalist See highlights. 10.00 Castle Quirky US crime drama series about a bestselling author who teams up with a young New York detective. The investigation into the death of an Irish gangster throws up a surprising connection to the unsolved murder of Beckett’s mother. 10.55 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. The toy boy husband of a crime writer and ex-cop disappears along with his secret lover. 11.55 Inside Hollywood Get your daily fix of the latest film and TV news from the USA. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 Nick’s Quest (x2 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football League 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 7.00pm Khan V Peterson: Preview 7.30 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 Test Cricket 12.00am Super League 2.00 Test Cricket 4.00 European Rugby 5.30 Khan V Peterson: Preview

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Ringside 10.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 10.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 11.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 5.00pm Amir Khan: Behind The Ropes 5.30 Lamont Peterson: Behind The Ropes 6.00 UEFA Champions League Final Preview 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 UEFA Champions League Final Preview 11.30 Khan V Peterson: Preview 12.00am America’s Cup World Series 12.30 European Rugby 2.00 UEFA Champions League Final Preview 3.30 Khan V Peterson: Preview 4.00 Super League

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 NRL Fulltime 7.30 Super League Supermen 8.30 Barclays Premier League World 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.00pm Rugby Club 1.00 Ringside 2.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.00 Rugby Club 6.00 Thrillseekers 6.30 Road To London 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am America’s Cup World Series 1.30 PGA Tour Golf 4.30 America’s Cup World Series 5.00 Road To London 5.30 ATP Tour Uncovered

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Road Wars 1.00 Airline USA (x2) 2.00 The 4400 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 The Middle 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 Glee (x2) 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Airline USA (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who (x2) 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Lip Service. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Family Guy: Best Freakin’ Episodes (x4) 12.30am Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.45 Lee Nelson’s Well Good Show 2.15 Angry Boys 2.45 Lip Service

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Sacred Music: The Story Of Allegri’s Miserere 8.00 Kathleen Ferrier: An Ordinary Diva 9.00 Barry Manilow At The BBC 10.00 One Night With Barry Manilow 11.00 Neil Diamond: Solitary Man 12.00am Neil Diamond: Radio 2 Electric Prom 1.05 Barry Manilow At The BBC

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 8.00 You’ve Been Framed! (x2) 9.00 American Idol: Results 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 11.30 Peter Andre: My Life 12.30am Ladette To Lady (x2)

12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 Murder, She Wrote (x2) 4.00 On The Buses (x2) 5.10 Terry And June 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Taggart 10.00 Murder In Suburbia 11.05 FILM: The American President (1995) 1.20am FILM: Gregory’s Girl (1981)

3.00pm Rules Of Engagement (x2) 4.00 Glee 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 2 Broke Girls 9.00 FILM: The Beach (2000) 11.20 Shameless 12.25am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.30 Scrubs

2.30pm Come Dine With Me 3.00 Four In A Bed 3.35 River Cottage Spring Collection 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Undercover Boss USA 6.45 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: Freedom Writers (2007) 11.20 MotherTruckers 12.25am Come Dine With Me 1.30 Grand Designs

11.00am Operation Pacific (1951) 1.10pm Genevieve (1953) 2.55 Broken Arrow (1950) 4.45 Monkey Business (1952) 6.40 Last Holiday (2006) 8.50 Inglourious Basterds Interview Special 9.00 Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan (1982) 11.10 Inglourious Basterds (2009) 2.20am The Love Guru (2008)




Lynn Ruth Miller presents Festival! – Latest TV's daily show all about Brighton Festival, Brighton Fringe, Artists Open Houses, The Great Escape and more!

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saturday 19 Off By Heart: Shakespeare BBC2, 9pm Over the last year thousands of Britain’s teenagers have been competing nationwide to learn some of the Bard’s best speeches by heart. Now down to nine finalists aged between 13 and 15, they’re off to workshop with the Royal Shakespeare Company on some of the greatest soliloquies ever. And then the final.

Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Channel Five, 10.40pm You know it’s Channel Five because it’s an evening of non stop crime that’s re-assuringly solved and sorted within the allotted hour. Nice when that happens. The Special Victims Unit are investigating a chap badly beaten outside a strip club with no memory. Cop time!

Sherlock Holmes: The Eligible Bachelor ITV3, 3pm Indubitably Mr Holmes, indubitably. The articulate investigator puts his incredible observational skills to the test enquiring after Lord St Simon, and why he won’t set foot in Glaven Castle. And also why his aunts are certain that his marriage will fail. Indubitably.




6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Saturday Kitchen 10.30 The Diamond Jubilee: Armed Forces Tribute 12.40pm BBC News 12.45 South East Today 12.50 British Olympic Dreams 1.20 Triathlon: World Championship Series – San Diego 2.50 Gymnastics: Women’s European Championship 4.20 A Question Of Sport 4.50 Pointless Celebrities 5.40 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00 My Family Sitcom. Kenzo seems to be the victim of a revenge campaign by Michael’s old art teacher. 6.30 The Voice UK The Voice live shows continue as artists from Team Danny and Team Jessie deliver solo performances that they hope will secure them a place in the muchanticipated semi-final. 8.00 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton presents the quiz show. And some numbers are pulled out of a machine. 8.50 Casualty Tom is once again drawn into the world of Alicia and Jonas. 9.40 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow Michael McIntyre is in the heart of the Midlands, at Birmingham’s Hippodrome, as Michael introduces Tom Stade, Steve Hughes and Paul Tonkinson, with Shappi Khorsandi headlining. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Kevin Bridges: The Story So Far... Live In Glasgow Filmed in May 2010 at Glasgow’s SECC Arena, this special sees comedian Kevin Bridges perform in front of a sold out crowd of 10,000 fans. 11.30 The Football League Show Highlights and analysis from the Football League. 12.15am FILM: Kevin And Perry Go Large (2000) 1.30 Weatherview 1.35 BBC News


6.00 – 6.35am Children’s television 6.35 Chuggington 6.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 7.00 Barney’s Barrier Reef 7.30 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The ScoobyDoo Show 8.05 Alesha’s Street Dance Stars 8.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 9.00 The Slammer 9.30 The Ministry Of Curious Stuff 10.00 Animals At Work 10.35 Splatalot 10.55 Copycats 11.25 OOglies 11.40 Eliot Kid 11.55 MOTD Kickabout 12.15pm Great British Menu 12.45 FILM: Macbeth (1948) 2.30 FILM: Twelfth Night (1996) 4.40 Flog It! 5.40 Don’t Panic! The Dad’s Army Story 6.30 Dad’s Army Wartime sitcom. The platoon forego a parade in Mainwaring’s absence to compete in a darts match against the ARP wardens. When Mainwaring arrives back he is appalled and orders Wilson to bring them back. 7.00 You Have Been Watching... David Croft From Dad’s Army to ‘Allo ‘Allo!, Are You Being Served? to It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum - David Croft had a hand in them all. This programme pays tribute to his comedy genius through the friends, family and colleagues who knew him. 8.00 Cutty Sark - National Treasure Reopened Cutty Sark – National Treasure Reopened. With a tin opener. No, of course not! 9.00 Off By Heart: Shakespeare See highlights. 10.20 QI XL In a special show to celebrate the Cultural Olympiad, Stephen Fry investigates the Immortal Bard with Sue Perkins, Bill Bailey, David Mitchell and Alan Davies. 11.05 FILM: Hamlet 2 (2008) Starring Steve Coogan, Catherine Keener, Joseph Soria, Skylar Astin. Comedy about a failed actor turned drama teacher who, in a final and deluded attempt to make an impact, sets about creating a controversial and ‘inspirational’ sequel to William Shakespeare’s Hamlet. 12.30am FILM: A Cock And Bull Story (2007)


6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Poppy Cat 7.10 Sooty 7.25 X-Men 7.45 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.00 Sonny With A Chance 8.25 Saturday Cookbook 9.25 ITV News 9.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11.20 The Real Housewives Of New York City 12.20pm Murder, She Wrote 1.20 Planet’s Funniest Animals 1.45 ITV News & Weather 1.50 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Murder With Mirrors (1985) 3.40 FILM: From Russia With Love (1963) 5.45 Meridian News And Weather 6.00 ITV News; Weather 6.15 Keith Lemon’s LemonAid Keith meets real people with real dilemmas and goes all out to make their dreams come true. This week, celebrity helper Louis Walsh pops in, The Saturdays put Keith and one lucky audience member through their paces in a unique performance, and the whole audience has the chance to win prizes in the gravity-defying game Lemon Drops. 7.00 UEFA Champions League Final: Bayern Munich V Chelsea Adrian Chiles presents live coverage of the Champions League Final between Chelsea and Bayern Munich at the Allianz Arena in Munich. Chelsea have never won European club football’s top prize and they are massive underdogs against a Bayern side playing in their own stadium. But Chelsea can take heart from their recent results under interim coach Roberto di Matteo. 10.25 ITV News; Weather 10.40 UEFA Champions League Final Highlights Have you forgotten what happened already?! Recap time. 11.40 FILM: Bonnie And Clyde (1967) Starring Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, Gene Hackman, Gene Wilder. Celebrated drama about the rise and fall of two violent young outlaws and their gang. 1.35am The Store 3.40 In Plain Sight 4.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 British Formula 3 7.05 FIM Superbike World Championship 2012 7.30 Mobil 1 The Grid 7.55 The Morning Line 8.55 The TV Book Club 9.25 Shooting Cheryl 10.00 Made In Chelsea 11.05 The Big Bang Theory 11.35 The Big Bang Theory 12.10pm The Simpsons 12.45 The Simpsons 1.20 Road To London 2012: That Paralympic Show 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Come Dine With Me 5.50 Channel 4 News 6.00 6.05 FILM: Titanic (1997) Starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kathy Bates, Billy Zane, Bernard Hill. Epic, multi-Oscar-winning romantic drama about a poor Irish artist and a rich debutante who meet and fall in love on the famously ill-fated maiden voyage of the ‘unsinkable’ RMS Titanic in 1912. Despite her engagement to the heir to a steel fortune, the vibrant young woman defies her family and friends to pursue true love. Soon the pair are caught up in a passion that is as allconsuming as it is doomed. 9.45 FILM: Rush Hour 3 (2007) Starring Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan, Hiroyuki Sanada, Max von Sydow. Fast-paced action comedy. The third film in the Rush Hour franchise, featuring martial arts expert Inspector Lee and his wisecracking partner Detective Carter. The mismatched duo head off for a new adventure in Paris where they must protect a Frenchwoman who has knowledge of the Triad’s secret leaders. 11.30 Rude Tube Alex Zane presents the funniest, strangest and most outrageous clips from the internet. 12.35am Stand Up For The Week 1.20 FILM: Bad News Bears (2005) 3.05 Milton Jones’s House Of Rooms 3.30 FILM: Hallo Panda (2006) 4.00 St Elsewhere 4.50 Smallville 5.30 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.10am Children’s television 8.10 Mio Mao 8.20 Angelina Ballerina 8.30 Milkshake! Monkey 8.35 Rupert Bear 8.50 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 The Mr. Men Show 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.35 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 Inside Hollywood 10.10 The Gadget Show: World Tour 11.10 Emergency Bikers 12.10pm Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 1.10 FILM: Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) 2.55 FILM: The Witches (1990) 4.45 FILM: Doctor Dolittle 2 (2001) 6.30 Ultimate Police Interceptors Highlights of the documentary series. 6.55 5 News Weekend 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the third day’s play of the First Test at Lord’s. 7.55 NCIS US crime drama series. The team has to undergo mandatory psychological evaluations while investigating the death of a naval commander found shot on a navy vessel. Tony? Loopy? No! 8.50 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Forensic drama series. Grissom’s team track a killer to a convention for plus-sized people; and Catherine’s team investigate when a large sum of cash and betting slips are found near a badly mutilated body on the outskirts of Vegas. 9.40 CSI: NY US crime series. The CSI team is called to a Brooklyn housing project to investigate the murder of a successful businessman. 10.40 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit See highlights. 11.35 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series. A pediatrician who was convicted of molesting his patients is found murdered after threatening to sue his former medical practice. 12.35am SuperCasino 4.00 The Great Artists (x2) 4.50 Rough Guide To Cities 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Super League 8.00 Khan v Peterson: Preview 8.30 UEFA Champions League Final Preview 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Khan v Peterson: Preview 12.30 UEFA Champions League Final Preview 2.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 6.00 LIVE: UEFA Champions League 11.00 LIVE Fight Night International 5.00am Sporting Greats: Joe Frazier 5.30 Road To London

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Tight Lines 7.00 WWE: Smackdown 9.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 10.00 Khan v Peterson: Preview 10.30 Live Test Cricket 7.00pm LIVE ATP Tennis 9.00 Test Cricket 11.00 Football League: Championship 12.00am Scottish Cup Final 1.00 UEFA Champions League 2.00 Test Cricket 4.00 Football League: Championship 5.00 UEFA Champions League

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Test Cricket 9.00 Live European Tour Golf 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 America’s Cup World Series 1.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 4.30 LIVE European Rugby 7.30 Khan v Peterson: Preview 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am America’s Cup World Series 1.30 Live PGA Tour Golf 4.30 European Rugby 5.30 America’s Cup World Series

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Oops TV 1.00 WWE: Smackdown 3.00 The Avengers Special 3.30 The Middle 4.00 Futurama (x4) 6.00 The Middle (x2) 7.00 Futurama (x2) 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 Cop Squad 10.00 FILM: Eraser (1996) 12.10am Law And Order (x2) 2.05 Road Wars 2.35 Obese: A Year To Save My Life

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Adele Live At The Royal Albert Hall 9.00 Live At The Apollo 9.45 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 10.30 Family Guy: Best Freakin’ Episodes (x4) 12.40am American Dad! (x6) 2.50 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 3.35 Britain Unzipped

7.00pm South Pacific 8.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 9.00 The Bridge 10.00 The Bridge 11.00 Tales Of Television Centre 12.30am Top Of The Pops: 1977 1.10 Top Of The Pops: 1977 1.50 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 2.50 South Pacific

3.45pm American Idol: Results 4.45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 5.15 Britain’s Got More Talent (x2) 7.15 FILM: Ice Age 2: The Meltdown (2006) 9.00 FILM: Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) 11.15 Keith Lemon’s LemonAid 12.00am FILM: Innerspace (1987) 2.15 The Only Way Is Essex (x2)

9.45am FILM: Carry On Don’t Lose Your Head (1966) 11.35 Jane Austen’s Emma 1.45pm Housewife, 49 3.45 Sherlock Holmes: The Eligible Bachelor. See highlights. 5.55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Sherlock Holmes: The Eligible Bachelor 1.15am Goodnight Sweetheart (x2)

3.05pm Made In Chelsea 4.10 Charlie’s Angels 5.05 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 7.30 Rules Of Engagement 8.00 How I Met Your Mother 8.30 Happy Endings 9.00 FILM: Meet The Spartans (2008) 10.45 Rude Tube 11.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.50am Cleveland Show

9.30am Jamie’s Great Britain (x2) 11.35 Jamie At Home (x2) 12.40pm Jamie Does... (x3) 3.55 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals (x5) 6.40 Jamie’s American Food Revolution (x2) 8.40 Jamie Does... Marrakesh 9.45 Jamie’s Kitchen 11.00 Jamie Does... (x2) 1.05am Jamie’s Great Britain (x2) 3.15 Close

11.00am Black Narcissus (1946) 1.00pm In And Out (1997) 2.50 The Truman Show (1998) 4.45 Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) 6.50 Amelia (2009) 9.00 A Time To Kill (1996) 11.50 Confessions (2010) 2.00am See Me 2.20 The Foot Fist Way (2006) 4.00 Close

“There was a great gig last night.” “No, it was rubbish!” The verdict’s out at

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040_LS577_TV_sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 11/05/2012 09:22 Page 1

sunday 20 Once Upon A Time Channel Five, 8pm Ever wondered how Rumpelstiltskin became Rumpelstiltskin? These guys have. Apparently he was a timid weaver in the Enchanted Forest doing his best to stop his son from being drafted into the ogre war. Sounds like a ‘learning’ tale. Meanwhile Mr Gold and Mayor Regina play dirty politics.

Channel 4’s Comedy Gala Channel 4, 9pm The all-star comedy gala returns for a third year to raise funds for Great Ormond Street Hospital. Those making with the funny include (deep breath) Lee Evans, Michael McIntyre, Sean Lock, Micky Flanagan, Jo Brand, Kevin Bridges, Jack Dee, Lee Nelson, Seann Walsh, Jon Richardson, Andi Osho, Alan Carr and more.

FILM: Men In Black Film4, 9pm So, all ready to see the third MiB flick when it comes out next week? Well prime yourself for the world where aliens and red tape meet. Agent J (Will Smith) is recruited by Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) to help save the world from some creative beings from outer space on a bit of a demolition path. Nice.




6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm Sunday Politics 1.00 Bargain Hunt 1.30 Penguin Island 2.00 Tiger – Spy In The Jungle 3.00 The Queen’s Palaces 4.00 Lifeline 4.10 Points Of View 4.25 Songs Of Praise 5.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show

6.00 BBC News 6.15 South East Today 6.25 Countryfile Countryfile is in Dumfries and Galloway, the perfect place to launch this year’s photographic competition, with its theme ‘Walk On The Wild Side’. 7.25 The Voice UK Results The eliminations are upon us as coaches Danny O’Donoghue and Jessie J must say goodbye to not one but two artists from each team. 8.00 Planet Earth Live 9.00 Death In Paradise Detective drama series. When a woman not only predicts her own murder but also gives a description of the murderer, it all feels too easy for DI Richard Poole. Can a case from the past help solve the present day murder? 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the classic news quiz. 11.10 FILM: Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004) Starring Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, David Koechner, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell. Knockabout comedy set in the sexist world of 1970s newscasting. 12.40am Weatherview 12.45 Sign Zone: Ewan McGregor: Cold Chain Mission 1.45 Holby City 2.45 Witness To Auschwitz 3.15 Antiques Road Trip 4.00 BBC News


6.00am The Pingu Show 6.10 Charlie And Lola 6.25 Timmy Time 6.35 Chuggington 6.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 7.00 Barney’s Barrier Reef 7.30 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.05 Scoop 8.30 Wingin’ It 8.50 Shaun The Sheep 9.00 Friday Download 10.00 Athletics: Great Manchester Run 12.30pm MotoGP 2.00 Boxing: GB Amateur Championships 3.30 Athletics: Great CityGames Manchester 5.00 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.45 Flog It! 6.10 FILM: Deep Impact (1997) Starring Tea Leoni, Morgan Freeman, Robert Duvall, Elijah Wood, Vanessa Redgrave, Blair Underwood. Apocalyptic thriller in which life on Earth is threatened by a rogue comet. Bit of a downer on a Sunday night but we’re sure they’ll sort it out, bless. 8.00 Indian Ocean With Simon Reeve This stage of Simon Reeve’s journey around the spectacular Indian Ocean takes him from Oman to the Maldives. He starts in the remote and otherworldly Musandam peninsula on the Strait of Hormuz, one of the most strategically important waterways in the world, where oil from the Persian Gulf is shipped through the narrow channel out into the Indian Ocean. 9.00 Coast Coast ventures to the furthest flung reaches of the British Isles to discover the most extreme locations and lifestyles. Nick Crane explores the exotic Isles of Scilly and joins the locals to attempt one of the most bizarre walks in Britain, as they try to wade on foot through the surging seas from island to island. Nick also visits the last house on the very tip of the most westerly inhabited isle. 10.00 Storyville Series showcasing the best in international documentaries. 11.30 Episodes Comedy series. 12.00am Grandma’s House 12.30 FILM: Sugar (2008) 2.15 BBC News


6.00am Boblins 6.10 Fireman Sam 6.20 Olly The Little White Van 6.30 Jake And The Neverland Pirates 6.45 Jake And The Neverland Pirates 7.00 Poppy Cat 7.10 Tati’s Hotel 7.25 Matt Hatter Chronicles 7.45 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.00 Victorious 8.25 Dinner Date 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Ade In Britain 10.30 May The Best House Win 11.30 Long Lost Family 12.30pm ITV News & Weather 12.35 Dickinson’s Real Deal 1.35 Murder, She Wrote 2.40 Columbo: Now You See Him 4.30 The Hungry Sailors 5.30 You’ve Been Framed! 6.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry delves into the archives for a third helping of memorable clips, including Billie Piper playing a very long game of badminton in Mansfield Park. 6.25 Meridian News; Weather 6.40 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Celebrity Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Couples Special Chris Tarrant presents a special celebrity couples edition of the game show. Comedian Paddy McGuinness and his wife Christine Martin, husband-and-wife presenting team Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford, and Olympian James Cracknell and his presenter wife Beverley Turner attempt to win that magical million for their favourite charities. 8.00 Vera Last in series. DCI Vera Stanhope investigates the murder of 29-year-old Niall Coulter. With those closest to Niall intent upon obscuring the truth, it is not until the body of a drug dealer is found washed up on a Northumberland beach that the dreadful truth begins to emerge about Niall’s past. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 FILM: 10,000 BC (2008) Starring Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis, Omar Sharif. Prehistory blockbuster from the director of Independence Day. 12.05am The Store 2.10 River Monsters 3.00 Motorsport UK 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Freesports On 4 7.30 Freesports On 4 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Frasier 10.00 Sunday Brunch 12.15pm The Big Bang Theory 12.45 The Big Bang Theory 1.15 The Simpsons 1.45 The Simpsons 2.20 FILM: Bride And Prejudice (2004) 4.30 FILM: Bandslam (2009)

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 7.05 Four Rooms Four of Britain’s top dealers in art, antiques and collectibles wait in four separate rooms, each prepared to spend their own personal fortunes if the right item comes through their door. This episode features Winston Churchill’s gold dentures, which were designed to preserve the lisp made famous by his rousing speeches during World War II. The dealers also encounter a chastity belt that the seller believes dates back to the 16th century, an enormous modern rocking library, and prison artwork by Britain’s most notorious prisoner Charles Bronson, and more. 8.00 Celebrity Deal Or No Deal Noel Edmonds asks the all-important question as Katie Price battles the Banker in a quest to leave with £250,000 for her chosen charity. 9.00 Channel 4’s Comedy Gala See highlights. 11.35 The Inbetweeners Sitcom about four teenagers growing up in suburbia. In a desperate attempt at reinvention, Will decides that the lads should be cool and go to clubs. Simon drives them up to the bright lights of the West End. 12.10am The Inbetweeners 12.40 FILM: Do Dooni Chaar (2010) 2.35 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.35 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.10am Children’s television 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.10 The Mr. Men Show 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 Animal Rescue Squad 10.20 Grey’s Anatomy 11.15 The Restaurant Inspector 12.15pm FILM: Murder At The Gallop (1963) 1.55 FILM: Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home (1995) 3.45 FILM: Tinkerbell And The Great Fairy Rescue (2010) 5.05 FILM: Hercules (1997) 6.55 5 News Weekend 7.00 Cricket On 5 Highlights of the fourth day’s play at Lord’s as England take on The West Indies. Commentary and analysis comes from Michael Vaughan and Geoff Boycott. 8.00 Once Upon A Time See highlights. 9.00 Norway Massacre: The Survivors Documentary about the people who survived Anders Behring Breivik’s killing spree on July 22nd, 2011. Featuring testimony from survivors on Utoya Island and Oslo, this is a narrative of the events as they unfolded. 10.00 FILM: Perfect Stranger (2007) Starring Halle Berry, Bruce Willis, Giovanni Ribisi, Richard Portnow, Kathleen Chalfant and Jason Antoon. Thriller about a journalist who goes undercover to investigate the advertising executive whom she believes is responsible for the murder of her best friend. Using a pseudonym and the techniques that earned her a string of scoops, she hunts for the missing piece of evidence that will link him to the murder. However, before long she is drawn into a deadly web of deceit. 12.10am The Walking Dead 1.35 SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.50 Rough Guide To Eco Escapes 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Scottish Cup Final 7.30 UEFA Champions League 8.30 Fight Night International 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 7.00pm Fight Night International 9.00 Test Cricket 11.00 Sporting Greats: Joe Frazier 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am WWE: Late Night Afterburn 1.00 LIVE WWE – Over The Limit 4.00 Super League Full Time 5.00 America’s Cup World Series 5.30 Sporting Greats: Joe Frazier

Sky Sports 2 6.00am European Rugby 7.00 Test Cricket 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.00pm Sporting Greats 5.30 Sporting Greats 6.00 Super 15 Rugby 8.00 ATP Tennis 9.30 Super League Full Time 10.30 America’s Cup World Series 11.00 ATP Tennis 12.30am Test Cricket 2.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Road To London 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 9.00 WWE: Afterburn 10.00 Scottish Cup Final 11.00 UEFA Champions League 12.00pm European Rugby 1.00 Fight Night International 3.00 Live Tennis: Rome Masters 5.30 This Week In WWE 6.00 Modern Pentathlon 7.00 Modern Pentathlon 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am America’s Cup World Series 1.30 PGA Tour Golf 4.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Obese: A Year To Save My Life (x2) 2.00 UK Border Force (x2) 4.00 Emergency Abroad 5.00 Futurama (x4) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Starlings 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 House 12.00am Spartacus: Blood And Sand 1.15 Law And Order 2.10 Road Wars 2.35 Obese: A Year To Save

7.00pm World’s Craziest Fools 7.30 England’s Worst Ever Football Team 9.00 Family Guy: Best Freakin’ Episodes (x2) 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.40 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 12.00am Russell Howard’s Good News 12.30 Britain Unzipped 1.30 England’s Worst Ever Football Team

7.00pm Tales Of Television Centre 8.30 Hancock 9.00 FILM: Mongol (2007) 11.00 The Secret History Of Genghis Khan 11.50 Barry Manilow At The BBC 12.50am One Night With Barry Manilow 1.50 Tales Of Television Centre 3.20 Hancock

2.00pm Britain’s Got More Talent: Kids & Pets Unleashed 3.00 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 4.35 FILM: Free Willy (1993) 6.55 FILM: Happy Feet (2006) 9.00 Benidorm 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.45 The Exclusives 11.45 FILM: The World Is Not Enough (1999) 2.10am The Only Way Is Essex

10.50am Housewife, 49 12.50pm FILM: Black Beauty (1994) 2.40 The Railway Children 4.40 Wycliffe 5.45 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 FILM: Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 10.00 Taggart 11.00 Cracker 12.10am PD James: A Mind To Murder 2.10 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

12.10pm Scrubs (x2) 1.10 Listen 1.25 Perfect Couples 2.00 Playing It Straight 2.55 Ugly Betty 3.55 Glee 4.50 90210 5.45 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 6.40 FILM: Take The Lead (2006) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 2 Broke Girls 11.25 Made In Chelsea 12.30am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

11.05am River Cottage Bites 11.15 Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard 11.45 Four In A Bed (x5) 2.25 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals (x5) 5.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 River Cottage: Gone Fishing (x2) 10.00 Father Ted (x2) 11.10 My Phone Sex Secrets 12.15am River Cottage: Gone Fishing (x2) 2.25 Father Ted (x2)

11.00am I Was Monty’s Double (1958) 1.00pm Big Momma’s House (2000) 2.55 Cutthroat Island (1995) 5.20 Nacho Libre (2006) 7.05 Monster-in-Law (2005) 9.00 Men In Black (1997). See highlights. 10.55 The Escapist (2008) 12.55am Internal Affairs (1990) 3.15 Close




Victoria Nangle catches up with Horse & Louis, the comedy duo who are bringing songs, sketches & character comedy to Brighton Fringe

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041_LS577_TV_Mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 11/05/2012 11:46 Page 1

monday 21 Eurovison’s Dirty Secret – Panorama BBC1, 8.30pm With Engelbert getting ready for the world’s most watched non-sporting event, how much do we really know about hosts Azerbaijan? Despite the US comparing the secretive ruling family to the Mafia and houses being bulldozed to make way for the event, it still goes ahead.

56 Up ITV1, 9pm Second in a three-part documentary continuing the acclaimed Seven Up! series. It’s 50 years since the programme began following a group of seven year olds, now they are 56. How are they facing up to life’s changes and the prospect of getting older? The same as everyone else?

FILM: Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer Film4, 9pm With the new Avengers Assemble movie getting everyone mad for comic book hero groups, here’s a chance to revisit another bunch saving the world from baddies. There’s plenty of action and star names, plus Laurence Fishburne is the voice of the Silver Surfer. Need any more reasons?




6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Fake Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cash In The Attic 11.45 Bargain Hunt 12.30pm RHS Chelsea Flower Show 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Dick ‘N’ Dom Go Wild 3.35 Lockie Leonard 3.55 Deadly 60 Bites 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Help! My Supply Teacher Is Magic 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex Jones present the stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 RHS Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh invites viewers to get away from it all with a look at the holiday destinations reflected in some of the Chelsea exhibits. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders While Ian frantically tries to finalise his wedding plans, Lucy resolves to make her father see Mandy differently. 8.30 Eurovision’s Dirty Secret – Panorama See highlights. 9.00 Chatsworth This episode follows the duchess at the highlight of her social calendar, Chatsworth International Horse Trials. This year there is extra pressure as the event is an official qualifier for the Olympics. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz. 11.05 Silk Martha Costello learns fast that it can be lonely at the top. 12.05am The Graham Norton Show Among the guests on Graham’s sofa are Will Smith, Gary Barlow and Sir Tom Jones. 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: Rowing The Arctic 2.00 Antiques Road Trip 2.45 Great British Railway 3.15 Great British Menu 3.45 BBC News BBC


6.00am – 8.55am Children’s television 8.55 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.10 Little Charley Bear 9.20 Raa Raa The Noisy Lion 9.30 Bob The Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 9.40 The Koala Brothers 9.50 ZingZillas 10.05 Iconicles 10.30 Driver Dan’s Story Train 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Hands On Nature 1.30 Instant Restaurant 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Heir Hunters 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads General knowledge quiz show . 6.30 TOTP2 2012 TOTP2 2012. 7.30 Great British Menu Cookery competition. 8.00 RHS Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh launches a week of Chelsea celebrations with a look at some of 2012’s most memorable show garden designs. There is coverage of this year’s celebrity visitors and a chance to see some of the new flowers being launched in the Royal Horticultural Society’s Great Pavilion. 9.00 The Fish Market: Inside Billingsgate A closer look at the inner workings of Billingsgate market. 10.00 Sounds Of The 70s 2: Rock – The Boys Are Back In Town Sounds of the 70s 2 continues with a selection of rock anthems, including performances from Alice Cooper, The Faces, Bad Company, AC/DC, Thin Lizzy, Whitesnake and Black Sabbath. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 The Lost World Of The Seventies Michael Cockerell sheds new light on the tragi-comedy of the 1970s by focusing on some of its most controversial characters. With fresh filming and new interviews. 12.20am BBC News 3.15 The Super League Show 4.00 The Charles Dickens Show (x4) 5.20 William Whiskerson (x2)


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.35 According To Jim 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Undercover Boss Australia 10.00 Location, Location, Location 11.00 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 SuperScrimpers: Top 10 MoneySaving Tips 1.05 River Cottage Bites 1.10 FILM: One Million Years BC (1966) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The Dingles’ hospital visit is too much for Zak. 7.30 Coronation Street David attacks Nick after Eva’s vengeful plan backfires. Karl fumbles for an excuse to skip dinner at the Alahans’. Things turn nasty as Peter fights Leanne for custody of Simon. 8.00 The Dales At Ravenseat Farm in Swaledale, the Owen family are preparing for youngest son Miles’s first day at school. Meanwhile, Dales estate agent Brian Carlisle takes on another role as auctioneer and, as summer draws to an end, vicar Anne Chapman holds a harvest festival. 8.30 Coronation Street A drunken Dev and Stella are oblivious to the awkward atmosphere at No. 7. 9.00 56 Up See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Knocked Up (2007) Comedy about a glamorous TV journalist who has a one-night stand with a hard-partying slacker and finds herself pregnant. Despite their lack of common ground, the pair decide to have the baby and try to build a relationship together for the sake of their child. Starring Katherine Heigl, Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd. 12.55am Jackpot247 3.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Bart and Marge become tennis pros. 6.30 Hollyoaks It’s exam time and while Sinead and George have been revising, Bart has been more relaxed. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 BT And Channel 4 Present... Series profiling Paralympic athletes. 8.00 Beating The Recession – Cash V Cards: Channel 4 Dispatches Personal finance experts investigate whether cutting up our credit cards could leave us better off. But is the move towards a cashless society more about profits than convenience for consumers? 8.30 Gok Cooks Chinese Gok is joined by his chef father to explore the basics of Chinese cooking. 9.00 The Secret Millionaire Another millionaire goes to a deprived area to change some lifes. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats: Uncut With Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and Jon Richardson plus some famous faces. 10.50 The Hoarder Next Door In Somerset, Helen and her 18-year-old son Jack are living in eight years’ worth of hoarded clutter. 11.55 12.00am Random Acts 12.05 Embarrassing Bodies: Live 1.05 FILM: Khayal Gatha (1989) 2.50 FILM: Faintheart (2008) 4.15 Mesh 4.20 Veronique 4.25 The Fishmonger 4.30 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 5.15 Deal Or No Deal

Channel Five

6.00am – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With... 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Highland Emergency 12.45 Mexican Food Made Simple 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Mentalist 3.15 FILM: Murder In Greenwich (2002) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Liam still wants to leave but Bianca thinks Heath’s legal threats change things. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Cricket On 5 Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the culmination of the First Test between England and the West Indies from Lord’s. 8.00 The Gadget Show: World Tour Jason and Pollyanna are in the Middle East. They sample the delights of a solar barbecue, review the latest mobile phone games and test cameras in Dubai. 9.00 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge Peru is the next stop on Robson’s tour, one of Latin America’s largest countries and seat of the ancient Incan empire. 10.00 The Walking Dead Police officer Rick Grimes leads a group of survivors in a world overrun by zombies. When Carl is accidentally shot, some tough decisions need to be made. Meanwhile, T-Dog’s arm injury becomes infected. 10.55 FILM: Shrooms (2006) Horror. A teenager camping in an Irish forest with her friends ingests a highly toxic mushroom. She starts to have gory visions which result in very real carnage. Starring Lindsey Haun, Jake Huston and Robert Hoffman. 12.35am The World Of Stupid Criminals 1.05 SuperCasino 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 Nick’s Quest (x2) 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Super League 10.30 Live Test Cricket 6.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 Froch v Bute – The Story Of The Fight 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.15 Hold The Back Page Special 11.15 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.15am Super League 1.45 Hold The Back Page Special 2.45 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.15 Froch V Bute - The Story Of The Fight 3.45 Watersports World 4.45 Max Power 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Thrillseekers 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00pm PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Fight Night International 6.00 British Miler 6.30 Volvo Ocean Race 7.00 NASCAR 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Froch v Bute - The Story Of The Fight 10.30 Thinking Tackle 11.30 British Miler 12.00am Volvo Ocean Race 12.30 NASCAR 1.30 Test Cricket 3.30 British Miler 4.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 PGA Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Test Cricket 8.00 Modern Pentathlon 9.00 Modern Pentathlon 10.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 10.30 Super League Full Time 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm WWE: Afterburn 1.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 2.00 WWE: Experience 3.00 WWE: Afterburn 4.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 WWE: Smackdown 9.00 WWE - Over The Limit 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 2.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

Chris Dyer

extraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Road Wars 1.00 Airline USA (x2) 2.00 The 4400 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Top Ten Show 8.10 Road Wars 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 Spartacus: Blood And Sand 11.10 Cop Squad 12.10am Fringe 1.10 Luton Airport (x2)

7.00pm The Voice UK 8.30 The Voice UK Results 9.00 Are My Fake Breasts Safe? 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 11.00 Family Guy: Best Freakin’ Episodes (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Are My Fake Breasts Safe? 1.25 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.55 Britain Unzipped

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Canal Walks With Julia Bradbury 8.00 Timewatch 9.00 Birdsong 10.20 Roundhead Or Cavalier: Which One Are You? 11.20 The Bridge 12.20am Canal Walks With Julia Bradbury 12.50 The Great Estate: The Rise & Fall Of The Council House 1.50 Timewatch

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 The Cube 9.00 FILM: The World Is Not Enough (1999) 11.40 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 12.10am The Vampire Diaries

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Murder, She Wrote (x2) 4.05 On The Buses (x2) 5.15 Terry And June 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 A Touch Of Frost 11.15 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Double 12.20am Numb3rs 1.15 Jeeves And Wooster 2.10 Nightscreen

2.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 3.00 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 4.00 Glee 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Love Shaft 8.00 One Tree Hill (x2) 10.00 Made In Chelsea 11.00 The Inbetweeners 11.30 The IT Crowd 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

1.25pm Time Team 2.30 Come Dine With Me 3.00 Four In A Bed 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Undercover Boss USA 6.45 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs (x2) 10.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 11.05 The Secret Millionaire 12.10am Grand Designs (x2)

11.00am Campbell’s Kingdom (1958) 1.05pm Moonfleet (1955) 2.50 Sea Of Sand (1958) 4.45 Up Periscope (1959) 6.55 Another Stakeout (1993) 9.00 Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007) 10.45 Employee Of The Month (2006) 12.50am The Conformist (1970) 3.05 Close



Invite Val Aviv to cover your event

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Latest 7: No. 577  

LES GOURMANDS Restaurant L’Eglise hosts Chef’s Table with culinary aces from Brighton and beyond

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