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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove

Brighton Lights Val Aviv interviews megastar DJ Fatboy Slim on episode 37 of Brighton Lights. Watch this and over 50 other shows online at:

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CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

NEWS & COMMENT 04 Latest People Brighton Festival and Fringe Festival launches, Wastebuster, The Martlet’s Midnight Walk launch and The Whitehawk Inn 06 Latest Brighton & Hove News & Jobs Headlines with Phil Mills, Frank le Duc on the living wage debate and Brighton Half Marathon success 14 Sport: Brighton & Hove Albion The Premiership, plus ‘Fozzie’, Gus and BHAWFC 16 Bare Cheek What’s not on and best forgotten memories 16 Mad Matt Robot Kevin takes the plunge 17 City Speak Ruby wants blood money, Tasha keeps it in the family and Will and H laugh, not cry 18 Snapshots Annabel Giles and Rachel Travers for Amaze 18 Competitions Real Steel on Blu-ray, David Sylvian CDs and This Means War film merchandise 19 Celebcity Mel C chats to students, Jordan and Fatboy Slim complete the Half Marathon and Adele settles in

28 FEB–5 MARCH 2012


>on tv

Online is the place to be: read news stories, features, star interviews, reviews and more. Enter competitions and take advantage of fantastic discounts at top city restaurants with our new Latest Dining Deals. Listen to music in the Latest Brighton Download Chart, follow us on Twitter and ‘like’ us on Facebook. It’s all online:


Brighton Lights Ep. 37 Brighton Lights, episode 37, sees Val Aviv talking to Norman Cook, aka Fatboy Slim, the UK born megastar DJ, in the best interview he’s ever had – his words, not ours! See what his plans are for the up and coming summer parties at The Amex Stadium and why he’s so keen to do them, plus an exclusive into finding out who Brighton’s most senior raver is...

All the latest homes are on

L7 INTERVIEW 20 Oscar-winning actress and Hollywood golden girl Reese Witherspoon on her new film, This Means War

LIFESTYLE 21 Cover feature Set your taste buds alight at Brighton Marina restaurant, Memories Of India 22 Private dining feature All the best venues for those special occasions 27 Hotlist; Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Latest Dining Deals is here!


29 Wave Courses with Evolution Arts, Oxy Pods at Derma Health Spa tried and tested, new health products and deep tissue massage for marathon runners at Revitalise

WHAT’S ON 34 Reviews & Bookings; Brighton Download Chart The Wanted, Star Quality; Festival shows booking now 36 Latest Previews Rambert Dance Co., Phantom Limb and The Big Cheer 40 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Horoscopes; My Dad Is A Woman; 7-day TV listings Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless

Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Entertainment Editor & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

On top of this we have a very arty episode, with Jenni Davidson talking to Mackenzie Thorpe about his inspirational pieces on the younger generation and Diana Madej who looks into communist inspired art from Czechoslovakian artist Jiri Pelcl. Giovanni is an Italian who came over to England in the ’60s, and we have William Ranieri speaking to him on what he loves about the wonderful city of Brighton, as well as talking through some of the exciting things he’s done since moving here. It’s all on our new episode of Brighton Lights. If you want to be part of Brighton’s TV channel come to our open democratic meetings at Latest MusicBar every Monday at 5.30pm.

With over 3,400 local properties, more Brighton & Hove homes than any other property website For details of advertising opportunities with please contact Lynne Edwards tel: 01273 818150

Watch our shows at Editor Zara Baker Editorial Assistant Laura Burgess Sub Editors Chris Dyer Rachel Junior

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Design Anand Day Andrew Wright

Illustrators Paul Lewis Jake McDonald Neil Webb Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi



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004_005_LS566_latest people_Social Diary 24/02/2012 17:12 Page 2




Brighton Festival & Fringe Festival launches; BHAWFC for The Martlet’s; TheWhitehawk Inn & Wastebuster

Brighton Festival 2012 launch

Brighton Festival 2012 announced the programme launch to Members of the Festival at Brighton Dome on 22 February. Guest speakers included Council leader Bill Randall, Sally Abbott, regional director of South East, Arts Council England, together with Andrew Comben, chief executive of the Brighton Dome. There was an on-stage interview hosted by Polly Toynbee, chair of the festival with the Festival’s guest director, Vanessa Redgrave, stage, screen and television actress and UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador since 1995, together with Carlo Nero, English screenwriter and film director. Tickets are available from the Dome Ticket Office in New Road, Brighton, online at or by telephone 01273 709709. The Festival runs 5–27 May 2012. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Sally Abbott (regional director, South East, Arts Council, England)

Mrs P Field, Mr P Field (Lord Lieutenant of East Sussex), Cllr Anne Meadows Mayor of Brighton & Hove), Tony Meadows (Mayor’s Consort), Amanda Jones (Deputy CE of Brighton Festival)

Clare Croome (JBPR), Karl & Soheila Jones (Moshi Moshi, sponsors), Fiona Mills (VBites), Darek Maejor & Donna Vegras (Moshi Moshi, sponsors)

Carlo Nero, Vanessa Redgrave, Polly Toynbee, Andrew Comben

Andrew Comben, Chief Executive, Brighton Dome

Brighton Fringe 2012 Launch event 670 events, 193 venues across Brighton and Hove and still counting! Brighton Fringe launched its programme of events for 2012 at The Old Market, Upper Market Street, Hove last week. Brighton Fringe sets out to stimulate, educate and entertain a wide audience by providing a showcase for diverse art forms. Tickets are on sale now to Friends of Brighton Fringe and go on sale to the general public on Thursday 1 March via, by telephone on 01273 917272 or in person at USSU Box Office, Falmer House, University of Sussex and at Customer Services Desk, Churchill Square, Brighton. Brighton Festival Fringe takes place 5–27 May 2012. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Vicky Nangle (Entertainment & Production Editor, The Latest), Mathilda Gregory (Snr Reviewer, Fringe Guru), Paul Levy (Fringe Review), Doug Segal (Mentalist)

Mark Brailsford (The Treason Show), Mathilda Gregory (Snr Reviewer, Fringe Guru), Heather James (Chair, Brighton Fringe)

Liberty Martin (Nightingale Theatre), Faith Dodkins (producer, Dip Your Toe)

James Turnbull (venue manager, The Warren), Andrew Kay (The Latest), Madeline Stoneman (Southern Water, sponsor of Fringe City)

Councillor Bill Randall (leader of Brighton & Hove City Council)

Louise & James Arnell (, trustees & main charitable sponsor)

Soraya Shaw, Daisy Cresswell, Heather James (Chair), Steve Bustin, Colin Matthews (Brighton Fringe Board & Trustees)

Brighton Fringe Team 2012

Luska Mengham (Voice Box, The Blind Tiger), Cllr Geoffrey Bowden (Green Party cabinet member for Culture, Recreation & Tourism), David Murray (strategic director, Communties, Brighton & Hove City Council), Rose Collis (performer & author of The New Encyclopedia of Brighton)

Julian Caddy (MD, Brighton Fringe), Andrew Comben (chief executive, Brighton Dome)

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Midnight Walk

Learning For Life

Players from Brighton & Hove Albion Women’s Football Club and previous ‘midnight’ walkers helped launch The Martlet’s Hospice biggest annual fundraising walk – The Midnight Walk, the women only event which takes walkers on a 13-mile tour of the city, ending with a hearty breakfast at Brighton Racecourse. More details of how to enter the event can be found on The Martlet’s Hospice website. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

The Whitehawk Inn’s Learning For Life appeal took at place at the Hilton Metropole on 20 February. Director Frances Duncan said the appeal is vital for the survival of the community training centre. The community organisation provides opportunities and education in the

Whitehawk area, and is a real example of how to support local people. To support the appeal were author Peter James, appeal patron Mike Holland, the Mayor Anne Meadows, Chief Inspector Bruce Matthews of Sussex Police among others. Words and photos: Diana Frangi

Des Prichard ( Chief Fire Rescuer), Bruce Matthews (Chief Inspector, Sussex Police), Mark Rist (City Borough Commander, Sussex Fire Rescue)

Peter James (author & WHI patron), Frances Duncan (director of WHI), Mike Holland (British Engineerium & appeal patron)

BHAWFC players with The Martlet’s Hospice fundraisers

Watch out Wallace and Gromit Animators Brad Sturch and Ezra Mulhern, from Animate & Create, visited St Martin’s Primary School in Hartington Road, Brighton, after the children won an animation workshop after joining the national ‘Wastebuster’ environmental education programme. Brad and Ezra helped the children discuss their ideas and plan the animation and each child designed and made their own blob character from Plasticine. The children then animated their scenes from a

storyboard to make a Wallace & Gromit-style short film about wasting food and the problems it causes to the environment. The children from Class 3, pictured, will have their film, Love Food, Hate Waste, featured on the

The children from Class 3, St Martin’s Primary School, Brighton


Stephanie St James ( RSVPR), Mayor Anne Meadows

Wastebuster and school websites. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Ezra Mulhern (Animate & Create), Claire Wood (Teaching Assistant), Brad Sturch (Animate & Create), Cllr Pete West (Cabinet Member for Environment & Sustainability), Children from Class 3

W M W M B W D En

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latest brighton & hove news

FRANKTALKING Insight, comment and analysis from the editor of Brighton & Hove News, Frank le Duc

The high price of our debts

We borrow big sums in the hope of having a relatively certain income stream so that we can pay off our debt, usually in relatively small amounts, over months and years. As unemployment rises and even big companies – from Woolworths to Habitat – are going bust, we all face greater We need to earn more and pay off more to tackle uncertainty. And this makes it more dangerous to be carrying debt. This is a personal and national crisis due to borrowing true at a personal level and at a corporate or national level. The protests in Greece are in response to efforts by the government – and the EU – to ensure ebt has become a growing problem for people, for business and for the country can pay the bill for its borrowing. our country over the past 30 years. It’s the four-letter word that colours In much of the West the rules about lending and borrowing have been political debate and it’s causing companies and public sector employers relaxed over the past 30 years. And while it’s fashionable to blame the to lay off thousands of staff. The job losses in particular are a clear sign of the bankers, they are not alone in being responsible for the crisis that now high cost of our debts. But advisers, counsellors and doctors see a more affects so many of us. It is the job of governments to make the rules to keep private expression of the problem. our economy safe. Sure, the biggest banks such From the Citizens Advice Bureau at Hove Town as RBS became more financially powerful than Hall – crowded almost every morning – to the debt “It is the job of governments many governments, making the job of politicians advisers at BHT, the signs are that more people and regulators harder. But many of us as are feeling the pain. And yet debt doesn’t have to to make the rules to keep our individuals borrowed too much too, taking bad. It would be hard to live by the old proverb advantage of the easy money culture. economy safe” from Shakespeare’s Hamlet: “Neither a borrower Now we’re paying the price in all sorts of ways. nor a lender be.” Most people who buy a house or a And the medicine is bitter for many. Politicians are flat take on a huge debt – their mortgage. And arguing about our national debt and the billions even the majority of car buyers take out a loan. we pay in interest. The answers, though, come down to this. We – individuals, Traditionally we have gambled on property prices. Since the end of the Second companies and countries – need to do one or more of the following: earn more, World War they have tended to rise, with occasional downward blips. Even now, spend less, pay down the debt capital, extend the term to reduce our they have held up remarkably well across most of the area, not least because repayments or seek a lower rate of interest. Brighton and Hove is an attractive place to live so demand remains high. But the It is, of course, easier to set out the solutions simply and clearly than it is limited space between the Downs and the sea means supply is restricted. to find agreement between politicians or do deals with banks now that their Provided we don’t need to sell during a downturn, the gamble has paid off. mood is more cautious. Rising unemployment, welfare cuts and pay freezes With car loans, we gamble in a different way. We have accepted the risk make it hard for many to earn more. But the income side of the equation is that if we have to sell, we will be worse off. Cars tend to fall in value, the most important. Which is why politicians in particular need to grasp every especially over the first few years. Our gamble is that we will be able to opportunity for growth if we are not to prolong this recession. n What do you think? Email afford the repayments and not be forced to sell.


LATEST INBOX Will Tells (issue 565) The gay rights movement was never dead since the times of Harvey Milk (who was a friend of mine) and that era. I was involved and seen the progress made. Yes, it moved at a snails pace, but noone had to remain in their closets. There has been a steady progress at many levels. Sadly, too many religious groups have tried to stop that progress in non-religious forums such as public schools. I have to admit, the movie Milk introduced Harvey and that era to millions of people, young and old, gay and straight, here in America

and around the world. There is still a long way to go to get equal rights for gays, but looking back the fight has been worth it, and until we obtain equal rights, the fight will never be over. I recommend a great website: Unlike the Milk movie, it is not a recreation, but actual images and stories from the early San Francisco Gay Rights Movement. Look for my images there, too! Jerry Pritikin, via Nigel Kennedy review ( I thought the second half was equally as amazing as the first. It’s the first time I’ve seen him live and the first time I’ve heard more than

> Have your say To comment on any of our news and features or to let us know what’s on your mind email You can also write to Letters, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH five minutes of his music. Absolutely fantastic. Five stars the whole way! S. George, via Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink (issue 565) I completely agree with you Andrew.

We discovered Pizza 500 about a month ago and we are addicted. I think it’s the best pizza in Brighton. Fantastic family owned feeling with a very warm reception. Jon, via Fatboy Slim at City College, (Latest News, issue 561) It was a real treat for our students to meet Norman and hear some of his pearls of wisdom on the music biz. His patience when it came to the many requests for autographs and photos was something to behold... a true gent! Brian Bell, via

007_LS566_Wired Sussex_Layout 1 22/02/2012 14:53 Page 1

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latest brighton & hove news

7 days of headlines with phil mills and for Hanover and Elm Grove:   The council and many of the city’s 13,000 council tenants and leaseholders have rejected government moves to sell off homes with an increased Right to Buy discount of £50,000 from £38,000. Council leader Bill Randall, said: “Selling more council homes will deepen the city’s housing crisis.” On a lighter note, pupils of the council's Music & Arts Service took part in a three-day jazz course. Malcolm Earle Smith, who has worked with Kenny Baker, Martha Reeves and Bryan Ferry, and teaches big bands, came to teach jazz to the members of the Youth Big Band and Jazz Ensemble. Malcolm, lecturer at Trinity Laban Conservatoire of Music and Dance in London, brought seven of his students to assist, and said: “My students shared their skills with talented young musicians from the Brighton and Hove area, and the results have been terrific.” In the courts, a judge at Hove sentenced former pub manager Toby Clive Goater to two and a half years after he pleaded guilty to repeatedly hitting a woman while she lay unconscious. Detective Constable Brett White branded Goater as a “danger to women”. And finally, parents of a young baby told Brighton magistrates how their lives had been made miserable by a neighbour's noise that was so loud it made their radiators rattle. There were parties, loud music, darts thrown into a party wall and shouting. The neighbour was fined £515 and had his music gear confiscated.

Residents asked for views to improve their area, new speed limit on busy road, & bus competition


’ll just have to drink my Scotch neat”, was how one chum jokingly responded, but it's no laughing matter. Following the driest 10 months since 1888 and with reservoirs less than half full, Southern Water is applying to the Environment Agency for a drought permit which will allow it to top them up from rivers. They are installing water meters which cut use by 10 per cent, they are asking people to help reduce waste (for tips see and click on Home and Leisure) and they are consulting residents who could be facing hosepipe bans and worse if the drought continues. Brighton and Hove’s two universities hit the headlines for different reasons: Hove MP Mike Weatherley is supporting Sussex students for more competition among bus companies in Brighton & Hove,

to enable smaller providers like the Big Lemon Bus Company, to operate successfully. And scientists at Brighton have made a breakthrough in tackling mercury-polluted waters and saving millions of pounds in the process by using nano-sized particles of silver – equivalent in size to splitting a human hair into 3,000 separate strands. It opens the way for more effective and cheaper clean ups. Staying with the University of Brighton, taxi driver Chris emailed Latest 7 to complain about new speed signs in Lewes Road, outside the campuses, announcing new 30mph restrictions – a good move considering the number of students regularly crossing there. Chris said: “It's a good safety move but they could have made the signs bigger – many drivers won’t see the tiny circular warnings they’ve put up, and they’ll think it’s still 40mph”. Take note please, highway chiefs. However, the speed camera is yet to be unveiled as drivers adjust to the new speed limit in place. Residents living in central Hove and Hanover and Elm Grove wards are being invited to submit ideas for improving their areas online through their local action teams. The council’s environment improvement team has supported both local action teams to create new websites that include a priorities survey where people can take part in setting local priorities for the council, police and other public services to focus on. For Hove residents, go to


lue skies and sunshine welcomed 7,427 runners to the 22nd edition of the Brighton Half Marathon, which took place on Sunday 19 February 2012. The Brighton Half Marathon had been growing steadily over the last couple of years and the 2012 race sold out in record time with all 10,500 places snapped up by mid November 2011. With David Wardle not present to defend his title from the previous two years, Ian Leitch from Phoenix AC went into the race as a favourite to win, but it was Matthew Dumigan

© Klickchick Photography

Record number of runners in the Brighton Half Marathon 2012

What do you think of competition for B&H Buses?

from Swansea Harriers who crossed the line first in 01:10:22. Ian Leitch came second in 01:10:37 followed by Josh Guilmant in 01:11:32. Local runner Fiona Powell from Brighton & Hove City AC managed to pull off the hat trick and won her third consecutive title in the race, crossing the finish line in 1:21:40. Runner up and first in the F40 category was Julie Briggs from

Arena 80 AC in 01:22:51 with Sarah Kingston from Fittleworth Flyers taking 3rd place in 01:25:53. The Youth Races saw a record number of 353 young runners cover one mile on Madeira Drive. Kat Williams, CEO of The Sussex Beacon commented: “What an amazing day with a great atmosphere and brilliant sunshine shining down on all our runners. This is a record year for the number of runners taking part and we are very proud of everyone who was involved with the race.” Famous faces spotted in the crowd included Katie Price and Norman Cook. For the full results, photos and to register your interest for the 2013 Brighton Half Marathon visit


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latest brighton & hove news

It’s all about the money Business leaders are debating whether they can afford to pay a ‘living wage’. Frank le Duc reports


ay is a sensitive topic. From bankers’ bonuses to unemployed youngsters doing work experience at Tesco for free, this a subject that excites people’s emotions. Labour brought in a statutory minimum wage, pointing out to critics that America had already done so. means fewer employees, But unions say that it’s not enough to live on. And if you live in Brighton adding to unemployment at and Hove, that’s probably true. a difficult time. So now we’re hearing about something called the living wage. This is a But the Living Wage level of pay that is based on what’s needed to provide a family with the Commission is chaired by essentials of life, rather than a legal bare minimum. It’s not new but it’s only Brighton and Hove Chamber of Commerce president Julia Chanteray, who is within the past year that it seems to have really taken off. also a business owner. She said: “Some employers are reluctant to pay above Prime Minister David Cameron said: “It is an idea the minimum wage, it’s true. But I strongly believe that whose time has come.” And there is some support for the living wage is not only more equitable but make it locally. The Green-run Brighton and Hove City business sense for companies and for the business “The living wage is not Council has introduced the living wage for council sector as a whole.” staff. Several notable private sector employers, such The debate features Julia Chanteray and Ian Tew, only more equitable as The Amex Stadium, are also backing it, and it is head of workplace, Europe, at accountants KPMG, being promoted by the introduction of a Brighton and speaking for the motion. Ben Ferrer, general manager of but make business Hove Living Wage Commission. Myhotel Brighton, and Adam Brian, director and cosense for companies” founder of Due South, will be opposing it. On Tuesday 28 February, Brighton and Hove Chamber of Commerce is staging one of its big debates The chamber said that a number of eminent Brighton on the motion: “This house believes a voluntary living business leaders were expected to be speaking from wage of £7.20 an hour would be good for business in Brighton and Hove.” The the floor of the debate, which will take the traditional Oxford Union debating debate looks at the growing campaign to replace the national minimum wage format. The debate will be chaired by Rob Shepherd, of the Brighton-based with a noticeably higher living wage and questions the business case for international press release agency Press Dispensary. paying a living wage. He said: “This is a debate that addresses perhaps the most fundamental Of course, few businesses welcome regulation and many business sectors aspect of employment: pay. Clearly it’s an emotive subject for employees but have a reputation of fighting for the right to set the lowest pay possible the question of minimum wage Vs living wage is also a very live one for should they wish. Some businesses argue that they cannot be profitable if employers trying to get the best from both their staff and their bottom line. It they pay more than a minimum wage while others say that higher wages covers morals and ethics as well as the business case.”

© Brighton Togs

the bigissue

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FOR: PAYING MORE PAYS OFF, SAYS JULIA CHANTERAY, PRESIDENT OF BRIGHTON AND HOVE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE Brighton’s businesses should embrace the living wage. We’ve been looking into the idea of setting a voluntary living wage of £7.20 per hour for Brighton businesses. The living wage is different to the national minimum wage of £6.08 per hour, which is the legal minimum you can pay staff. We’ve calculated (well, we got a nice man called Donald Hirsch to calculate) the amount that someone needs to earn to live a decent life in Brighton and this came out to £7.20 per hour. This figure means that someone can afford to pay rent in a shared house, eat, have a mobile phone (but not a fancy iPhone) and have a cheap holiday in the UK. The research takes into account tax credits and the cost of rent and childcare at Brighton prices. Why is this a good idea? Paying the living wage is a good thing to do. It makes you feel good. Two of my clients asked me recently what they should pay interns. They didn’t have much money to play with, but were uneasy about paying the minimum wage as this felt too low. I explained about the living wage, and they looked relieved that they could pay their new staff at a decent rate without breaking the bank. But, besides having a clear conscience, is paying the living wage good for business? There are a number of reasons why paying the living wage – or at least moving towards this figure – can help businesses. There’s the old adage, “if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.” And judging by the customer service in some of the businesses I know are paying below the living wage, some businesses are employing monkeys. Paying a living wage means you’ll attract better employees. And remember what a hassle recruiting new people is. Interviewing, testing, checking references, inductions and training – no business person particularly enjoys these tasks. Paying the living wage means that staff are more likely to stay with you for longer, so you don’t have the hassle of finding new people and training them up. Paying below the living wage means that your staff are more likely to take on a second job to make ends meet. If employees have another job, they’re less likely to have the enthusiasm or energy to work hard for you. You want them to concentrate on their work, not be falling asleep at their desks – or worse, moonlighting while they’re supposed to be at work. Brighton and Hove Chamber of Commerce has organised a big debate about a living wage for Brighton. Business people from the city are coming along on Tuesday 28 February to decide whether there should be a living wage for Brighton. It’s free and open to all businesses in the city but places are limited. Check for availability at


AGAINST: HIGHER PAY COULD MEAN FEWER JOBS, SAYS BEN FERRER, BRIGHTON AND HOVE HOTELIERS ASSOCIATION, TOURISM ALLIANCE AND GENERAL MANAGER OF MYHOTEL Adam Brian, from Due South, and I will be opposing the proposal that “a voluntary living wage of £7.20 an hour would be good for business in Brighton and Hove”. We are opposing the introduction of a Brighton “living wage” on behalf of the vast majority of tourism and hospitality businesses in the city. We take the view that in difficult economic times such as these, to create a program – albeit well intended and voluntary – that stigmatises those who are unable to conform will be detrimental to many leisure businesses already struggling to survive, especially the locally owned and independent businesses for which Brighton and Hove is so famous. It is important to state clearly that it is not our sentiment that people should not be paid more, simply that now is not the time to be creating social rules that interfere with our businesses chances of survival. The leisure industry in particular employs a great many people – its largest overhead – at the rate dictated by the national minimum wage. It is also experiencing falling revenues across the board as recession-hit families cut their discretionary spending. Given the example set by London, where the program is largely ignored by the leisure industry, there can be little benefit in focusing energy on this to increase the financial living standards of those affected, as opposed to applying the same focus in other areas. Brighton in particular, is famed nationally for being the home of the independent, be it a shop, café, bar, restaurant or attraction. The national companies in this industry will be sure not to engage in the discussion – as is the case in London – therefore creating an uneven playing field, drawing only negative attention to those locals who do not – or cannot – afford the extra. Let’s not create a local barrier to prevent our local businesses from succeeding, bearing in mind that if they fail, there will be fewer jobs. For those who think that it can’t make that much difference to business owners, we would ask them to consider the additional costs of National Insurance employer’s contributions (NIECs) which go hand in hand with the increase. Further to this is the career ladder of the industry, which is almost entirely on the basis of time served. Their supervisors, managers and line managers must also have an increase to keep the ladder appealing to new employees. And with that comes the associated NIECs, of course. Most shocking are the sheer numbers of hospitality businesses that struggle to make a profit at all. For these owners, being stigmatised locally while giving everything they have, including their homes and much of their time and energy, could be just enough to extinguish the flame of their entrepreneurial spirit.

AN UNLIKELY ADVOCATE Business leaders and free markets proponents often cite Adam Smith in support of their laissez faire approach. He is the guru for those who oppose regulation but prefer to rely on what Smith himself described as the invisible hand of the market. And yet, although he was the father of economics, he was also a moral philosopher. In The Wealth of Nations he argued that higher real wages led to the “improvement in the circumstances of the lower ranks of people” and that this was to the benefit of society as a whole. Smith argued for economic growth and a system of liberty that would enable the labouring poor to secure sufficiently high wages to enjoy an acceptable standard of living. He wrote: “Servants, labourers and workmen of different kinds, make up the far greater part of every great political society. But what improves the circumstances of the greater part can never be regarded as an inconvenience to the whole. “No society can surely be flourishing and happy, of which the far greater part of the members are poor and miserable. It is but equity, besides, that they who feed, clothe and lodge the whole body of the people, should have such a share of the produce of their own labour as to be themselves tolerably well fed, cloathed and lodged.” It is only in the past 10 to 20 years that campaigners for social justice have emulated free marketeers by citing Adam Smith in support of their position. After all, why would genuine free marketeers want a monopoly?!

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latest brighton & hove news




A Band of Brothers Young men like TP are being offered a route out of trouble by a group of volunteers. Dozens of them have opted to take it. Frank le Duc reports


P was an angry young man. His life was going behind initiations and rites of passage as a way of off the rails. He was arrested three times for helping young men, some of whom have already having cannabis and cocaine by the time he been locked up. He said that these rites of was 14. As a result he was given a six-month passage were common to many cultures but had referral order. For many youngsters like him, this largely vanished from our own. would be one of the first steps along the way to a A TRIBE CALLED QUEST life of crime. But TP was offered a second chance. The Quest is part of this process, taking the And he took it willingly. young men away from their homes. It’s a camp While being supervised by the Youth Offending where older men help them learn what it takes to Service he was put in touch with A Band of be a real man, to accept responsibility for their Brothers – a men’s circle where volunteers act as actions and to live a better life. It has echoes – mentors to troubled youngsters. Many of the quite deliberately – of the legend of Parsifal and youngsters, like TP, come from Whitehawk, the Holy Grail. The young although he has since moved knight went off on a quest to Portslade. He went with the and met temptation before volunteers on a weekend “A Band of Brothers returning triumphant. The camp, known as the Quest, name Band of Brothers has before asking one of them to tries to tap into the literary roots too – it’s from act as his mentor. He joins the mythology behind the St Crispin’s Day speech circle every week and sees the King in Shakespeare’s his mentor weekly too. initiations as a way of by Henry V. Now 15, TP said: “I got It’s inspired most of those really lucky. One of the people helping young men” who have taken part, with 44 at the Youth Offending Service young men Mr Bailey said: told me about Band of “We have spent a long time Brothers and how it might creating a group of about 70 older men who are help me with my anger. A lot of things have skilled in mentoring.” TP’s mentor is Finn Taylor, changed since I’ve been in Band of Brothers. 39, who runs a web design firm. He said: You can decide to change.” “Originally I got involved because my business partner was involved and it sounded interesting.” BOYS TO MEN The mentors are given extensive training and Mr Alex Bailey, one of the team running A Band of Taylor said that it had proved very rewarding. Brothers, said: “We’re about demonstrating to TP said of Mr Taylor: “It’s great knowing you’ve young men that there’s a different way and a more got someone who will help and knowing you’ve got adult way of being. Unless they’re engaged in someone who’ll listen, who’ll pick up the phone sport there probably aren’t a lot of adult males any time. When we came back from the weekend around to show them. A lot of the young men we with Band of Brothers, I decided I don’t want to do work with may not see an older man unless he’s this [getting into trouble] any more. I’m a rapper. arresting them.” I’m planning to do music technology. I might move Mr Bailey said that, in the past, factories were to Kent because my mum lives there.” Then he the sort of place where boys became men – the looked at Mr Taylor and said: “But we’ll still meet Armed Forces too – often involving initiation rites. up.” And it’s hard not to hope that they will. n A Band of Brothers tries to tap into the mythology

A jobs and opportunities fair for 16 to 18 year olds will give young people a chance to try bricklaying or turn their hand to music. The hands-on sessions are part of a line-up aimed at showcasing the many possibilities on offer post-16 throughout the city. The Youth Opportunities Fair has been organised by the council’s Youth Employability Service to help tackle the rising number of young people not in education, employment or training (NEETs). The council estimates that there are more than 400 young unemployed in Brighton and Hove – a rate of 7.5 per cent. The opportunities fair takes place on Thursday 1 March, 2pm to 7pm, at Hove Town Hall. Sue Shanks (pictured), chairman of Brighton and Hove Children and Young People’s Trust, said: “Being young and not in education, employment or training is depressing for so many so it’s vital that we actually do highlight the opportunities that are out there for 16 to 18 year olds. “I hope as many young people as possible and their parents and carers attend this event where they will hear about local college courses, apprenticeships and actual jobs. This is a great chance to hear about a range of opportunities and get valuable advice.”



The Russian Women’s Death Battalion of 1917 features as the subject of one of a new season of talks as Newhaven Fort reopens on Thursday. The talks are one element of a mix that has earned the fort a glowing assessment from the annual Visitor Attractions Quality Assurance Scheme, endorsed by Enjoy England. Throughout the year the fort plans to host an extensive programme of popular events from open-air theatre and live music to military re-enactments and, during the school holidays, activities for children. To celebrate English Tourism Week, the fort is running a number of special events from Saturday 10 March to Sunday 18 March. And on the opening Saturday, in recognition of International Women’s Day, the fort will present a set of short talks including one about the Women’s Death Battalion as well as one on the Suffragettes and another entitled ‘An Edwardian Wife’.



Academics are asking people in Brighton and Hove to stop and think for a moment about lap dancing clubs and our night-time economy. They have asked for help with an online survey as part of their study. The postgraduates, from Kent University and Lincoln University, are carrying out research on the impact of businesses in the night-time economy. They said: “We are especially interested in the positive and negative impacts of lap dance venues and are interested your feelings about the appropriateness of these venues in different locations.” The research is sponsored by the Economic and Social Research Council, Britain’s largest supporter of academic research in the social sciences. The results of the study are expected to help inform policies to ensure that Britain’s towns and cities at night are attractive and safe for all. The anonymous survey can be found at

014_015_LS566_albiondps_editorial 23/02/2012 16:36 Page 2



latest SEAGULLS Up the Albion! Mark Brailsford ponders the Premiership


s they say on Merseyside: “calm down, calm down”. A Scouse wag in a very friendly and welcoming Anfield pub after the game remarked: (insert broad Scouse accent here) “Eh? Eh?, 6-1? It was never 6-1, 8-1, maybe but never 6-1.” The one consolation was it wasn’t as bad as losing 9-1 like Crystal Palace did a few seasons ago. Now the dust has settled and the hangovers fade, this will be seen as a good cup run. There was much to enjoy in the match against Liverpool and the delirium that ensued when LuaLua buried that fantastic free kick will live long in the memory of Albion supporters. So back to the main event, the Championship. Many fans “Would promotion would settle for a flirtation with this season be too the play-offs but realistically, consolidation in the soon? Quite possibly” Championship would be fantastic progress and a gradual evolution of the playing squad to challenge for promotion next season or even the season after that, a bonus. Remember, two years ago the Albion were playing at Withdean and struggling against relegation to League Two. Would promotion this season be too soon? Judging by events at Anfield, quite possibly. No-one wants to spend a season in the top division being hammered every week only to come straight back down. Gus and Tony are overseeing a work in progress; the squad is evolving before our very eyes. With the additions of Abdul Razak and Gai Assulin, albeit on loan, the team is gathering up the type of player Gus wants for the next phase of the plan to ensure that if/when Albion become a Premier League team, they can stay there. We may look back at the painful defeat at Anfield as a key staging post in the evolution of the team. So, it’s not as bad as it felt at full time in the Anfield Road end. Heightened expectations have been dampened to more sensible and realistic levels and I, for one, would be would be delighted if we finished in the top ten. Or more importantly, finish above Crystal Palace!

New signings, new beginnings

Abdul Razak

Gai Assulin

Sea-gals Naomi Robinson, right/left midfielder for BHAWFC, chats to Latest 7 How long have you been with the club? “Two years.” What’s been the highlight of your career so far? “Scoring from two free kicks this season.” What team’s been your biggest competition this season? “Arsenal, although I think we’ve competed well against most teams this season.”

What’s your favourite thing to do when you're off the pitch? “Watching Man United! Although I should probably say running or something!” Do you follow the men’s team? “My step dad is an ardent fan of the Seagulls so I have been to watch them with him before and am always kept up to date with the scores. I would like to watch more games for the rest of this season though!” Coming up for BHAWFC: West Ham United (A) Sunday 4 March. Queens Park Ranger (A) Sunday 11 March.

What is your training regime out of season/in season? “I am a member of a gym, so I go as regularly as possible. I also enjoy running, so whenever I have the time I will go on a run.” Do you follow a strict diet? “Not really, I try to eat healthily and drink lots of water but it’s important to keep a balance so I don’t restrict myself to what I can and can’t eat.” What other sports do you enjoy aside from football? “I work within a school so I have to demonstrate and participate in most sports, however I’ve always enjoyed basketball and athletics.”

blast from the past Stewart Weir looks at the career of Steve ‘Fozzie’ Foster


n Saturday 21 May 1983 Tony Grealish wore a headband as he led his team out onto the pitch at Wembley in a sympathetic gesture to regular skipper Steve Foster, who was suspended. What may have been had Fozzie played that day? Foster started his career at Southampton as an associate schoolboy but wasn’t offered a contract. He moved to Portsmouth and started as a centre forward but Ian St. John played him as a centre back and marked his debut with an own goal against Bury in 1976. In 79’ Fozzie joined the Albion. While at the Albion he won three

Photo: Paul Hazlewood

Abdul Razak, according to Manchester City fans, is like a young Michael Essien. He’s an athletic and powerful midfielder who holds the ball, is strong in the tackle and skillful with the ball. He also, reportedly, has the physique of a fully-grown adult but is only a callow 18 years old. This is a player for the future at Manchester City but who’s to say that his future may lie somewhere further south, say, in the Falmer area? Make no mistake, Tony Bloom and Gus Poyet are serious about building for the future and players like Abdul Razak are a sign of intent, even if they are only on loan. Then factor in the loan signing of Gai Assulin. He is also a Manchester City player and was understudy to Lionel Messi at Barcelona no less. In the upcoming games at The Amex, the Albion, with these players surely starting, will be fascinating to watch.

official sponsor of

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Photo: Paul Hazlewood

HOME GAME Albion manager Gus Poyet announced as official starter for Brighton Marathon 2012 Brighton Marathon organisers Grounded Event has named Albion manager Gus Poyet as Official Starter for the Brighton Marathon on Sunday 15 April. After starting duties in Preston Park, Poyet will be at the finish line to welcome the elites as they cross the line before handing out the prizes at the awards ceremony. “Having Gus as Official Starter for our third race in the same season when the local football club has taken giant strides forward, is a real privilege and fitting too as we like to think that our race has enhanced the profile of Brighton and Hove as a city of sporting excellence,” says race director, Tim Hutchings. “On top of this, the number of runners he’ll send on their way in Preston Park this year will far outnumber those of our first two races. “It’s also appropriate that, in 2012, his achievements as a player have recently been given more exposure and that experience, combined with his

inspiration, are clearly taking the club to a completely new level. “Every Albion fan – and by extension every city resident – now enjoys a real sense of pride and anticipation. I’m convinced the club will be a Premiership outfit in the not too distant future and Marathon runners identify with this same application and determination that he’s shown. I’m sure they’ll love seeing him at the start, at the finish and handing out the prizes.” The Uruguayan star has enjoyed a successful career in English football, first as a player, then as manager of Brighton and Hove Albion. After playing for Zaragoza in the Spanish league for seven years, Poyet moved to Chelsea, where he won the FA Cup, Cup Winners Cup and Super-Cup against Spanish aristocrats, Real Madrid. Gus finished his playing career at Tottenham Hotspur, but returned as their assistant manager in 2007. He took over BHAFC in 2009, enjoying success straight away by winning the League One title and securing promotion to the Championship. Brighton Marathon takes place Sunday 15 April 2012, Coming up for BHAFC: Doncaster (A) Saturday 3 March. © 1990-2011 Stewart Weir

England caps. Five seasons later he moved to Aston Villa, then eight months later onto Luton, then Oxford United before completing his full circle by re-joining the Albion until he retired at the age of 38 after more than 700 matches. Injuries restricted him to only eight games in his last season after a 21year career.  



Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

What’s not on RATIONAL SUNDAY SCHOOL A bunch of slightly smug atheists bang on about not believing in God, as if doing so is, in 2012, actually something brave. Then a couple of scientists come on and talk about black holes almost as if this proves the point. 4th March, Dell’arte Theatre, 8PM, £7/£6

“I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD” Concert featuring Tony Bennett, Dave Brubeck, Jerry Lee Lewis, and other music stars who one might reasonably expect to have passed on to their reward by now. 7th March, Brighton Doom, 7.30 PM, £18/£15

STEVE BLACKBERRY IN CONVERSATION WITH ARTHUR TEDIOUS Local polymath Blackberry talks to the writer, artist, filmmaker, occultist, and bore. With excepts from Tedious’s new 11-hour film Horux. Warning: contains several very long anecdotes and footage of the late Ken Campbell droning on . 10th March, Upstairs at the Four and Eleven, 9PM, £6/£5 DROWNED PHOTOGRAPHS OF FORGOTTEN MEMORIES Meet Soo – a woman who obsessively catalogues her life. A chance meeting on the underground and an encounter with a displaced shaman lead to a journey into the heart of her own

MR QUIMSYWHELP & MR BUTTERSNATCH Some old actor cashes in on the Dickens bicentennial by presenting this monologue, cribbed together in slightly ungainly fashion from a section cut from the first edition of Nicholas Nickleby. 13th March, Theatre Loyal, 8PM. £15/£13 ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN A new jukebox musical based on the songs of Elvis Costello from the people behind We Will Rock You and Tonight’s The Night. Can private detective Oliver Sarmy pump up his car tire in time to save his wife Alison from the clutches of Jacksons, Monk and Rowe or will the inner-ear problem that prevents him from standing upright lead to an appointment with the mysterious Veronica, with her green shirt and her blue chair? 14th March, Brighton Doom, 7.30PM, £22/£18

News in brief Heart attack dad’s cummerbund faux pas. Narcoleptic duo vow “No sleep till Monkhouse.” The spy who came in from the cold, said “blimey it’s a bit parky out there” and then went out in the cold again.


In • Latch key kids • Gymslip mums • The generation gap • Glue sniffing • Divorce

Out • Cultural cringe • Cardboard cities • Women’s lib • Virtual reality • Computers taking over the world and enslaving us all

90% of the people don’t know what 10% of the people are talking about 90% of the time, study shows. Door slams man. The girl can’t help it: why women love men who hate women who love men. The proper study of mankind is Lilt Man. Award for squatters angers “plastic messiah”. Sexpert grandma’s eleventh hour voodoo suppository.

Photos: MCP

Mad Matt Matt Whistler loses Kevin in the El-Fna Square


y robot friend Kevin was last seen in a monkey’s hand in the Djemaa El Fna square, which was like a 24/7 Glastonbury Festival launch party and I had now relocated to the beautiful Riad Cinnamon situated in the heart of the Medina. The Derbs (the streets) were navigated on landmarks: left at the laughing cow, right at the mosque, left at the bird cage, right at the tanning museum, right at the crazy boy’s graffiti and permanent wheelie bin. Marrakesh was now starting to feel familiar. I was lounging and eating a delicious tagine, freshly prepared by the friendly and helpful staff in the Riad, when there was a tap at the door. It

was a policeman returning Kevin who was well vexed about the monkey trauma. Kevin expressed his level of upset by jumping off the balcony into the plunge pool to give me a scare. The maid was freaked and I jumped in to save him with a towel the size of a handkerchief and a screwdriver to readjust his teleporting boards. To take stock of the situation I stood on the roof terrace wall to survey Morocco and realised my


MATT RUSSELL’S SOAPBOX OF LOVE A 20 year-old comedian, who has gone straight from university into stand up, and has a silly haircut to boot, presumes to educate us all in matters of the heart, and politics as well. Well, thanks a lot for that, Mr. never-had-a-shave-skinny-jeans. Thanks a lot. No, cheers. 5th March, Brighton Lavilion Theatre, 8PM, £12/£10

mind and the mind of her own heart. This work combines dance, physical theatre, and film in a way that may make you want to commit suicide right there in your seat. 12th March, Chaffinch Theatre, 8PM, £9/£8


016_LS566_barecheek-madmatt_Editorial 24/02/2012 10:54 Page 2

time here was up and the seaside was calling; three hours on the bus to Essaouira where Jimmy Hendrix and Bob Dylan hung out in the ’60s. Thoughts of the previous day’s handstand made me chuckle... To be continued.

Read Matt’s full blog at mattwhistlerbrighton

017_LS566_cityspeak_Editorial 23/02/2012 16:12 Page 1


Life begins at 70


Teen Spirit

Ruby Grimshaw dons a donor approach

Tasha Dhanraj hits the slopes with her boyfriend



fter visiting Indonesia I had been lifted since then and I am to wait three months before I trying to work out if I now have a could donate blood again, chance of reaching my 75 because of the risk of malaria and donations. At present, my total is dengue fever, and I will probably only 43, so if I insist on doing have to do the same after these sponsored horse rides for returning from India next month. the Brooke Hospital for Animals So, sadly, it is going to take and going to places where malaria some time before is prevalent I I qualify with don’t think I’m enough donations “I had a friend going to reach for my next donor my goal. award. I received whose main aim in I shall be over my little silver 80 and I don’t life was to get his 75 badge when I think my blood reached 25 will be much donations in by the donations. This good to anyone amount of blood by then. I will time he was 70” would be enough need every drop to fill up about for myself. two people, which sounds pretty The World Health Organisation impressive when you look at it like directs that donations should always that. Oldies will remember be voluntary but there are still many comedian Tony Hancock’s classic countries where donations earn a blood donor sketch. The next financial reward, which obviously award is for 50 and then 75 – can lead to corruption and when one is invited up to London manipulation of the service. Yet it to take part in a special awards might encourage more people to ceremony and to collect a donate in the UK if, in addition to key beautiful crystal plate. A fobs and stickers, worthwhile photograph is also taken which freebies like vouchers to jump the appears in the next edition of The NHS waiting list in the future were Donor. I had a friend whose main given out during donating sessions. aim in life was to get his 75 In Italy one can earn a day off work donations in by the time he was for donating. Apparently in Singapore 70, the age limit then. He was you earn a lovely bronze award for absolutely determined to obtain 25 donations and a beautiful plaque and enjoy his 15 minutes of fame. for 75, which is called the Ruby I knew I didn’t have a chance at award. Now that would look great on that time, but the age limit has my mantelpiece.

Will Harris on the subtleties of relationship status


nd so to the Land of the Lesbians, and the comedy of errors that is my friend H’s love life at any given point in time. At this particular point in time, H jerks into consciousness to find herself wedged halfway beneath the reassuring bulk of a certain lady friend, who she has been dating on and off for two months. And when I say dating, what I really mean is having occasional bouts of sex while simultaneously lusting after someone entirely different and wholly unobtainable. “Happy Valentine’s Day!” the girl beams. She is large and coffee-coloured, with one of the most beautiful faces ever to have graced H’s poly-blend sheets. H, who had been reaching for an ashtray, stiffens. “Um, but it’s not Valentine’s Day, is it? Valentine’s Day’s Tuesday. It’s Sunday.” “I know,” says the girl, “but I won’t get to see you on Tuesday, will I? Or will I?” “No,” says H, quickly swinging herself upright and out of the danger zone. “No, busy Tuesday. You know me; always busy. Busy, busy me.” The girl subsides into silence. “Well, it’s not like we’re going out or anything,” she says, finally. “What?” shouts H, from behind the wardrobe door. “I said we’re not in a relationship.” The girl rolls onto her side, one hand resting on the opposite pillow. “Or are we?”

H pauses, scanning the rails of clothes in front of her desperately. “S***,” she mouths silently at Iggy Pop, who is gurning out at her from the front of a T-shirt. When she emerges, the girl has started picking up her clothes in short, rapid movements. “I’m going to go,” she says, without meeting H’s eyes. “It’s a ridiculous situation. You don’t want me, and I don’t want anyone else.” H, normally a stranger to ordinary human emotion, is surprised to discover the unfamiliar twinges of a guilty conscience. She suppresses a grimace. “Look,” she says, “you don’t have to go. You could... stay for breakfast? Or something.” As the girl looks at H, a victorious grin breaks out across her face. And it’s on seeing this that H means to say: “Well, don’t you look like the cat that’s got the cream.”

“H is normally a stranger to ordinary human emotion” That is what she means to say. What comes careering out of her mouth instead like a troupe of circus monkeys in waistcoats and propeller-hats is this: “Well, don’t you look like the fat that’s got the... no! I mean black... NO! Cat that got the cream! CAT! CAT!” Moments after the front door slams, H calls me. “Awful,” she says. “Just awful. I made a weight, then a race reference. There’s no coming back from that.” “There really isn’t,” I say. “Still, you’ve got to laugh, haven’t you?” “That’s what I tried to tell her,” says H, “but if anything it just made her angrier.” follow me on twitter


Illustration: Neil Webb

William Tells

omorrow, my relationship is family. Hopefully the many going to be put to its biggest Saturday tea parties he has been test. My boyfriend is coming summoned to will hold him in good skiing with my family. And no, not stead. My family are more than just my immediate family. He welcoming, they’re just a little signed up to it several months intense. They’re a bit like puppies: ago, but it was only last week he lovely when there’s one in a felt compelled to ask, “So, just controlled environment and it’s all how many people are coming on excited to see you, but not lovely if this?” The answer was 13. He was you’ve got 13 all wanting your quite intimidated by this number. attention at once when you’re in a To me, it isn’t intimidating – it’s cabin in the middle of nowhere with intimate. The last time I went on a only snow-topped trees to hear holiday with my your cries for help extended family and your only escape there was about 30 route is in the form of us. Thank of a pair of skis. goodness my “I’m essentially When my boyfriend and I boyfriend and I went taking him to weren’t an item to New York together, then. I don’t think he it was our holiday. We would have survived France only to had organised and the flight over. planned it together. push him down I didn’t really think If we didn’t enjoy it about how stressful then it was both of a mountain” this whole thing our faults. But this would be for me. Not holiday is different. only have I got to I persuaded him to hope that he gets along with them come. It’s with my family, not his. all, but he’s never been skiing It’s what I’ve been doing since I was before so I’m essentially taking four. It’s the equivalent of me going him to France only to push him on a footballing holiday with all his down a mountain with a couple of mates from uni. planks of wood attached to his Oh, no. What have I done? feet. That is, if he ever manages to I’m almost definitely just panicking get to Folkestone for the too much. It should all be fine. He’ll Eurotunnel before changing his get along with everyone and he will mind and running all the way back love skiing. But if all else fails, I’ll to his home in Wadhurst. build us an igloo and keep him It’s not like he’s never met my hidden from everything.

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Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Amaze patron Annabel Giles and Amaze chief executive Rachel Travers

It’s important when you’re the parent of a child with special needs to be able to see the bright side of life, which is why Amaze’s ‘Big Cheer’ event is going to be a well-deserved night of up-beat entertainment. Amaze have kept me going when times are tough. That’s why I am so grateful to them.

TV presenter Annabel Giles (right), patron of children’s special needs charity Amaze, is pictured here with Amaze chief executive Rachel Travers, making the final preparations for The Big Cheer For Amaze 2012. The event takes place at Brighton Dome on Thursday 1 March and involves some of the biggest names in comedy including the irrepressible Jenny Eclair, Ian Moore, Justin Moorhouse, Simon Evans and Des Bishop. The laughter-filled evening will be compered by Jason Cook. Amaze is the local charity providing advice and support to parents of children with special needs and disabilities.



This Means War is the latest cinematic outing featuring Hollywood golden girl Reece Witherspoon. The Oscar-winning star has come a long way since guest-starring in Friends and has constantly proved that she can nail both comedy and drama to perfection. New action comedy This Means War sees two top CIA operatives (Chris Pine and Tom Hardy) wage an epic battle against one another when they discover they are both dating Lauren (Reese Witherspoon). We have to say, we can’t blame them! Now, bag yourself one of five This Means War goodie bags

featuring iPhone skin, notebook and T-shirt. Just tell us: Q Reese Witherspoon played the bratty sister of which main character in Friends?


To celebrate the release of A Victim Of Stars 19822012, a two disc compilation of David Sylvian’s highly acclaimed solo work, we are giving away three copies of the CD thanks to EMI. The compilation brings together Sylvian’s exploration of windswept exotica from his ‘80s album Brilliant Trees, epic ballads from ‘Gone to Earth’, and his collaboration with Robert Fripp in the ‘90s with ‘The First Day’. Features hits from his 2003 album Blemish and his 2009 album Manafon where he worked with Evan Parker, Keith Rowe, Christian Fennesz and John Tilbury. The compilation album also features an exclusive new track ‘Where’s your Gravity?’. Be sure to catch David on his European tour as of March 2012. Q What’s the title of David’s new track on the album?


The visually stunning and heartwarming story Reel Steel is out now on Blu-ray and DVD, and to celebrate the film’s release, we have five copies to give away thanks to DreamWorks Pictures. Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman) is as an irresponsible ex-boxer in a world where boxing has gone high-tech and 2000-pound, eight-foot tall steel robots have taken over the ring. As the stakes are raised, Charlie and his estranged son Max get one last shot at making a triumphant comeback. Also starring Evangeline Lilly, Kevin Durand and James Rebhorn. © 2012 DreamWorks II Distribution Co. LLC

Q Who plays Charlie Kenton?



with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 12 March 2012.

019_LS566_celebcity_Celebcity 24/02/2012 09:02 Page 1



Celebcity with Jo Brooks



Congrats to Katie Price and Norman Cook for adding some celebrity glamour to this year’s Brighton Half Mel C chats to students, Katie Price runs in Half Marathon. Our girl didn’t find it easy, Marathon, Sussex teams in FA Cup & Adele in a pub running despite an agonising knee injury. Katie kinda collapsed over the finishing line, in a similar way we’ve seen her get out of cabs in the past following a boozy evening. Luckily, new ‘on-again’ boyfriend Leandro was on hand SPOTTED to lend some encouragement ! Playing for (via a translator of course)! M ill w al l against Brighton an d Hov She later tweeted she was in other week e Albion the agony saying: “More filming on first glan was – today for my new reality Mark Wright ce – TOWIE’s . show although today I can't be his (sca Turned out to ri walk from yesterday’s run, brother Joshly similar) Wright, boo hoo.” Despite this fact, looking reem . Katie was able to step out in some killer heels the night before – what a trooper!

February saw two quite historic moments in Sussex sport as two teams took part in what is dubbed the most exciting and famous football competition in the ! D E T world: the FA Cup. SPOT Two of our Sussex clubs were dedicated Singer, and , Adele popping involved, Crawley Town and Brighton ctor lle co y e m Gram ssex local. Th & Hove Albion. I was lucky enough down her SuPartridge Green, to get two tickets for Crawley’s sellPartridge, in super-star settle e out tie against Premiership side has seen th w cosy drinks while Stoke City at the Broadfield Stadium down for a fe into her new tenshe moves m home. in Crawley and on arrival my son and I bedroo tucked into a full English breakfast due to the early kick-off. We were in good company in the west stand as we spotted ex-Tottenham manager Gerry Francis, ex-Arsenal player Martin Keown and now ex-Crawley wonder scorer Matt Tubbs. porty Spice dropped into BIMM last week to chat with the students The game did not disappoint and had everything an FA Cup tie should about music, football and acting. She explained how her latest album, have but the giant Stoke (have you seen the size of Peter Crouch?!) were The Sea, was inspired by a trip to beautiful Brighton! This will be the just too strong for the Reds. Less said about the tie against Liverpool and singer’s fifth album and she shows no sign of stopping soon, saying she’d Brighton the better, my neighbour and Albion player Liam Bridcutt had a love to pursue more acting roles after her successful bit of an own-goal nightmare but hey, as they say, that's football! six-month stint in the West End’s Blood Brothers. Of course, we couldn’t let her get away without a bit of a Spice Girls’ grilling and Juice’s Guy SPOTTED ! Lloyd was just the man for the job. She Ben Howard Have you spotted a celeb in the city? admitted to him that the girls had been beach. The De on Brighton approached to do something for the songwriter w von-born singer/ how our pebbas no doubt seeing Queen’s Silver Jubilee (but not the their long sales compared with Olympics), though she wouldn’t say who Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, contest cleandy beaches. No dug their (Louboutin-clad I’m sure) heels rly – who wan 01273 622555, ts sa nd in their shoe in and refused to do it. I wonder? She didn’t Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to s? leave without apologising for her team beating Brighton at Anfield follow me on twitter latestcelebcity – so kind of her to bring it up!

Spice world S

10% service will be added.  Valid Sunday through to Thursday until 31st March 2012 excluding bank holidays.  Only one voucher per table.  Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.

020_LS566_interview_011_LS466_interview 24/02/2012 09:37 Page 2


L7 INTERVIEW favorite song in the ‘90s?’ I said, ‘oh I love that song by Montell Jordan – ‘This Is How We Do It,’ and he said, ‘great, start singing it!’ It just turned into this funny little dancing, action moment.”

Oscar-winning actress Reese Witherspoon returns to the big screen in the action comedy This Means War, starring alongside Tom Hardy & Chris Pine, the secret agents duking it out for her affections

Your character, Lauren, is a consumer reports tester, a very decisive woman. How does she end up divided over two men? “In her work she’s a very decisive woman, but in her romantic life she’s just a disaster. The man she moved from Atlanta with ended up leaving her, shattering her heart and crushing her spirits, so she’s been debilitated. She hasn’t been able to date, she hasn't been able to go out. Chelsea Handler’s character, Trish, is her only friend because she works so much, so she’s finally decided she’s going to enter the dating world.” How does she meet these guys? “She meets Tuck, played by Tom Hardy, on a dating website and they have an awkward first date that ends up going really well; then she ends up meeting Chris Pine’s character, FDR, in a video store. They’re both excited about their new relationships, and there’s this great reveal where they show each other a picture of their girl, and it’s the same girl. It’s a great scene between two men, like, what do you do if you’re best friends and you like the same girl? It brings up all that territorial male dominance stuff.” Where do you stand personally on internet dating? “I have to say that if I was dating, and if I could zip off my face, my famous costume and be who I really am, I would totally do that. I’d be interested to see what people are doing and what people are out there. Lives are so busy and disconnected and I don’t know how you meet people if you’re not internet dating.” What was the appeal of This Means War? “I’d just finished Water For Elephants and then Fox approached me about doing this movie. I thought it was definitely a departure and also an opportunity to be in an action film. I hadn’t really done that and I thought that if I was ever going to do an action film I’d want it to have elements of comedy in it, so it was kind of perfect. Those are the action films I like... Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Bad Boys, Beverly Hills Cop – movies that make you laugh but also deliver action. I really thought it was appealing and I really liked the idea of working with a few great guys.” Were you familiar with [director Joseph McGinty Nichol] McG’s work? “Yes – and I’d met him once before. I really

“If I was dating, and if I

Images: PicSelect


Talking of dancing around in your underwear – this movie definitely shows a sexier you. Were you comfortable with that? “It wasn’t calculated – McG just kept saying, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun?’ And it was really just about creating the fun of movies – it’s nice to create glamour in movies too, to have great outfits and great hair and make-up. As an actor you do take on a lot of what the director wants you to do, so I had a lot of great guidance in that way. I don’t have a lot of natural instincts about what is sexy, so it really helps me to hear from Tom or Chris or McG about what they thought was sexy. You’re trying to play a character too that appeals to these incredibly handsome men so McG wanted me to look really sexy.” Apart from the dancing scene, did you get to improvise much through the movie? “Yes, during the whole movie. Of course a lot of it is written – we have a great writer/producer, Simon Kinberg, who also did Mr. & Mrs. Smith – and he would construct great scenes, but then a lot of times we’d get on set and just improvise. But that made for great fun.” By contrast, Chris Pine is so all-American... “Chris is totally all-American – a witty, charming, self-possessed, confident man. He has an ease about himself that’s really appealing and he’s very sexy. He almost has a Cary Grant-type quality, sort of effortlessly charming.” Obviously, the entire premise is you choosing between the two men. Who would you choose between Chris and Tom? “My daily fun ritual with all the women on set was, ‘okay ladies, today which one would you choose?’ And I swear, every single time people would be divided completely. I think it’s really a testament to McG that the movie just keeps you guessing until the very, very end. And you really have no idea what’s going to happen.”

could zip off my face, my famous costume and be who I really am, I would totally do internet dating”

How did you make her empathic while she’s double dating? “I think we built a back-story for her that any woman can relate too. She’s had her heart absolutely shattered by somebody who promised her something then totally lied and took off on her. I don’t know a woman who hasn’t experienced that kind of heartbreak. She’s a little bit damaged and shattered emotionally.”

enjoyed Charlie’s Angels – I remember when I saw it I thought it was pretty cool how he’d created a franchise for young girls, a film where my little girl can grow up and see women as super-heroes. How many movies are there like that? I remember I wrote Drew Barrymore and him a letter and told him I found it really inspiring to see women in such a position of power and strength.”

Have you ever had two guys fight over you? “Maybe my husband and my son fighting for my attention! Reese! Mom! Reese! Mom! Reese! Mom! Other than that, I don’t date multiple people at once – there’s too much lying involved. I’m just not a liar.”

On screen it looks like you were having a lot of fun... “Literally, at one point my character is dancing around in her underwear at her apartment. It was a moment where we were saying, ‘what are we going to do with this scene?’ It was kind of boring, me just walking around my apartment while these guys were spying, and he just said, ‘what was your

So now you’ve got your first action film under your belt, how did it feel, and did you pick up any new skills? “I got to work with a flame-thrower, which was cool, hang off the side of a car, climb up onto a platform, I did a lot of running with the bad guys shooting at us... I’m not used to that sort of thing but, wow, it was so much fun.” This Means War is in cinemas Friday 2 March.

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Tandoori knights

Andrew Kay on the classic Indian cuisine at Memories Of India


ith the Michelin men and women awarding stars for Asian cuisine, it would seem that Indian food and Indian restaurants have come a long way from the old school of high street tandooris. There is little doubt too that much of what they like is very fine indeed – but do you, like me, sometimes crave something a little more classic? Down Brighton Marina, Memories Of India has managed to create an Indian restaurant that delivers those familiar favourites that have made Indian food the UK’s number one choice while also scoring for being stylish and modern. The restaurant is as smart and stylish today as it was when it first opened, and the quality of both the service and the food remains as high as ever. I know that when I have a hankering for a curry, they will more than satisfy my expectations. There are few places that can deliver jinghi, the succulent king prawns that I love, as well as they do. Their sauces are superb, the breads a delight and, as well as the popular dishes, there are some fabulous regional specialities for the more adventurous. They even attract celebrity regulars, both dining in and calling for a take-away. Over the years, Memories Of India has built up a massive and very loyal following, regulars who return again and again to enjoy the delicious cooking and great service that always comes with a beaming smile. It’s also worthing looking out for the great offers and special lunch and Sunday menus that are such great value for money. Memories Of India, 9 Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton, BN2 5WA, 01273 600088,


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The number one party venue in Europe’s sexiest city – BRIGHTON!

You make the booking, we make it happen. Tell us what you want, we’ll provide it all. A fabulous party and you have to do nothing!

NEW!! We can now film your party in high definition and give you a DVD to take away with you at amazing introductory prices. We are the first venue in the UK to offer this.

CALL JENNI OR RUTH ON 01273 687171 OR EMAIL BOOKINGS@THELATEST.CO.UK Birthdays Weddings Civil Partnerships Office Parties Hen and Stag Nights

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Private lives For those very special occasions, what better than a private dining room in a great restaurant or hotel


pecial occasions require special attention. Important parties can be made by making the right choice when it comes to choosing the venue. Big events are often easier, many places will offer you use of a large part of their venue if not exclusive use, at a price. But what if your party is a more intimate affair, but one where you want to enjoy some privacy? It could be that you want tranquility, a quiet and sophisticated event where you will not be bothered by the general hubbub of a busy venue. It could be that you want to be able to let your hair down, go crazy and make as much noise as you want, without having other guests suffer or indeed complain. The answer is simple – a private dining room. Surprisingly, there are lots of them out there, private spaces offered for exclusive use, and more often than not for no extra charge, after all you will be spending money on both food and drink. Each venue of course will work in a different way. Many offer special private dining menus – meals created specially to suit both your event and your budget. Some will offer a full a la carte service, or perhaps a menu with a smaller range of choices, often advisable to make sure that all your guests get to eat at the same time. You can ask for themes, request special flowers and decorations or indeed supply them yourself should you so wish. Many venues will also be happy to organise entertainments, from pianists and table magicians to karaoke. The choice is yours. Private dining rooms offer a special sense of occasion, of exclusivity and style. They say something about you, as well a giving a very special message to your guests and those people that you are holding the celebration for. Whether it’s a special dinner ‘a deux’, an intimate wedding breakfast or a full-on fun and games feast, private dining is the way to go.

Come to Blanch House for your private party celebrations

It could be your wedding anniversary, birthday, retirement party or simply an excuse for a celebration, if so our Belle Époque suite at Blanch House is an ideal private dining venue. We can seat up to 40 people for an intimate special occasion or accommodate 75 people for a Champagne and canapé reception. Enjoy delicious locally sourced seasonal food with attentive friendly service in a delightful setting. Book for exclusive use of the hotel for your special celebration which includes our 12 luxury, contemporary guest rooms, our stylish Champagne, wine and cocktail bar and the Belle Époque function room at a special all inclusive price. Call Jeremy or Kerry to arrange an appointment for a personal show around and a glass of wine whilst discussing your requirements.

17 Atlingworth Street, Kemptown, Brighton BN2 1PL Tel: 01273 603504


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The Restaurant At Drakes

Blanch House

Drakes is a luxury boutique hotel on Brighton seafront which combines breath-taking design with warm, friendly and professional service. These features are replicated in the stylish yet relaxed fine dining at The Restaurant at Drakes where informal lunches or laid-back dinners can be enjoyed. The restaurant has achieved several accolades in the past few years including double AA rosettes, recommendation by the Michelin Guide and has attained the highest score of all Brighton restaurants in The Good Food Guide 2011 for the second consecutive year. Head chef Andy MacKenzie trained at Gleneagles under Alan Hill where he developed his passion and knowledge. Andy then moved to London where he gained yet further experience at the highly respected Mosimann’s Belfry and the famous Chez Nico in Park Lane. In the restaurant there are two separate dining rooms, each available for exclusive use bookings at either lunchtime or dinner. The chic main dining area seats up to 40 guests and is the perfect size for birthday parties, weddings or civil partnerships, while the smaller room is more intimate, providing a very special private dining experience for up to 12 guests. A dedicated waiter is at your disposal to ensure an excellent and personal service. For exclusive use occasions, head chef Andrew MacKenzie will create a totally bespoke menu to suit your personal taste and style. Dietary requirements are well catered for. The small private dining room is also fully equipped to provide the ideal space for conferences as well as informal breakfast or lunch meetings. State-of-the-art equipment includes a 42” LCD screen for laptop projections, flipcharts, conference phone and Wi-Fi. Luxurious 24-hour packages which include overnight accommodation and dinner are also available. For prices and availability or to be added to the mailing list please contact Sheila, the restaurant manager. The Restaurant at Drakes, 43-44 Marine Parade, Brighton, East Sussex, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934,

Since reopening its doors in July last year and the subsequent launch of its Belle Époque Suite in September, the Grade II Listed Blanch House in Kemp Town has become a firm favourite as a venue of choice for celebrations and private fine dining events in Brighton. The Belle Époque suite can seat up to 40 for fine dining and accommodate 75 people for drinks and canapés. The team at Blanch House will work closely with you to ensure that your special event exceeds expectations, whether it is a private dinner party, birthday celebration, wedding anniversary or simply an excuse for you and your friends to enjoy an evening of great food and wine in a relaxing and intimate environment. Head chef, Sean Dickens, is passionate about food and uses locally sourced seasonal organic and free range produce as much as possible. With a choice of delicious menus combined with a carefully thought out wine selection the scene is set for an enjoyable and memorable experience. Blanch House can be hired for exclusive use to include the hotel’s 12 luxury, contemporary and quirky guest rooms, their stylish Champagne, wine and cocktail bar and the Belle Époque function room at a special all inclusive price. Blanch House, 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton East Sussex, BN2 1PL, 01273 603504,


Lunch and dinner SERVED 7 DAYS A WEEK

New menu now available from £15 for 1 course, £20 for 2 courses Sunday lunch (with roast and more) £25 for 2 courses hotel restaurant cocktail bar 43-44 marine parade brighton bn2 1pe

t. 01273 696934

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The House

Famous for quality Oriental cuisine, both classic and modern, Gars is one of Brighton’s most popular restaurants – of any kind. When it comes to stylish dining, celebrations and parties, this city centre venue comes at the top of many lists. There is no doubt that the quality of the food at Gars has a lot to do with its popularity, but the smart designer interiors and excellent friendly service also play a big part in making this a top spot for that special night out. For those really special occasions the private dining room is an ideal choice. The lower ground floor suites have recently been redesigned and now boast stunning metallic wall coverings and fabulous Fornasetti print wallpaper featuring the iconic ‘Face Plates’ in black and white against a striking deep red background. Seated, the private dining room will accommodate around 20 guests and for buffets even more. The kitchen offers a wide range of set feasts for such occasions or menus can be pre-arranged to suit your personal needs. And after dinner you can indulge in karaoke. State-of-the-art equipment and plenty of microphones mean that everyone can join in the fun, and in total privacy, isolated from the rest of the restaurant. It’s not just for grown ups either, Gars holds great kids parties with fun food, children simply love Chinese food, and, of course, karaoke too. It goes down well with everyone. Whether you want a sophisticated night of fine Oriental dining or a buffet of fabulous finger food and karaoke, the private dining room at Gars will certainly fit the bill. Gars, 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1HF, 01273 321321

The House restaurant celebrates its 10th birthday this year and continues to provide the fabulous quality menu, ‘spot on’ choice, excellent service and pure passion as it did when the doors first opened. Having undergone a complete refurbishment this family run modern British bistro can now offer private dining rooms and areas for groups of 12 to 40 people. They offer diners the choice to order either from the main a la carte menu if desired or from their fabulous value for money three course party menu which at £23 per head from a leading city centre restaurant is well worth considering. They have years of experience catering for large groups and nothing is too much trouble. If required you can hire the whole venue for special anniversaries, wedding receptions, baptisms and the suchlike. The House really is the place to go for group dining as it has bags of character, a fabulous location, very tasty menu and they really do know what they’re doing.   The House, 37 East Street, Brighton BN1 1HL, 01273 321111,



01273 321321


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Sam’s Of Sevendials Sam's of Sevendials in the heart of Seven Dials, Brighton, features a completely private dining or meeting room that can comfortably sit up to 22 people. The Vault room was indeed a bank vault in the building's former days as a branch of Lloyd's. Now The Vault features its own bar, waiting staff and a large screen plasma TV with Wi-Fi for presentations. There is no charge to book provided your party dine for lunch or dinner from one of the fantastic seasonal modern British menus. Go to to see all the menus. This is the perfect room for a private dinner party or a day time meeting.  It is also often used as a venue for wine tasting events or even as a small wedding venue. Sam's of Sevendials is licensed to hold wedding and civil ceremony services. Sam’s of Sevendials, 1 Buckingham Place, Seven Dials, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 3TD, 01273 885555,

The New Steine Bistro The New Steine Bistro and private dining is well known as Brighton’s quirky French restaurant. Concentrating on homemade French cuisine, using top local produce exquisitely cooked by their French chef, the Bistro has gained a reputation for fine and private dining with extremely good value set menus alongside a la carte dining. Their private dining room is the perfect place to host any celebration from weddings to birthday parties, including special kids’ birthday packages and entertainment from magicians to Tarot readers, singers and live entertainment. The room benefits from natural daylight as well as its own private patio for those who wish to smoke or just enjoy some of Brighton’s sea air. “Come and try it, you certainly won’t regret it!” Says proprietor Hervé Guyat. New Steine Hotel, 10-11 New Steine, Brighton, East Sussex, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546,

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Food & Drink Andrew Kay is very excited about the launch of our fabulous new online dining offers

Latest Dining Deals T

his is the age of the deal, from the ubiquitous ‘bogof’ to the coupon wielders, we are all looking for a bargain. So here at Latest 7 we are thrilled to announce the launch of Latest Dining Deals, an online system that offers brilliant bargains at some of the city’s best restaurants and is also easy to use. And it’s cheap too, with a booking fee of £5 for tables of two and three and £10 for tables of four and over. That means, in real money, that it will cost around £2.50 a head. Weigh that against a 50 per cent discount on your food bill or a 33 per cent discount on your food and drink bill and it has to be worthwhile!

Easy to use

“The discount will be

Latest Dining Deals could applied to your bill at not be more simple to use! To start go to our website the end of your meal – no and click on the Latest Dining vouchers and no hassles” Deals button on the homepage. This will take you directly to a page of restaurants offering deals on that day. It also gives you the option of seeing what deals are available on future dates. Each restaurant’s offer will give you the details and the nature of that deal, which is often a fantastic 50 per cent off your food, but be sure to check those details.

Once you’ve made a choice, select a sitting date and time and the number of people in your party. Then enter your reservation name and mobile number. It’s quick and easy! You will then be automatically sent your SMS confirmation voucher, and the booking fee, a charge of £5 for tables of two and three people, and a £10 booking for tables of four and over, will be made to your mobile phone account. After that, simply take your mobile – with the SMS voucher on it (no need for a printed voucher) with you to the restaurant and enjoy your real time deal. The appropriate discount will be applied to your bill at the end of your meal – no vouchers and no hassles.

A massive menu A great list of local restaurants have already signed up to Latest Dining Deals and we are sure that many more will join so always check back for the latest offers. There will be new deals all the time and you can sign up to have the hottest dinner and lunch deals in town sent directly to your inbox as soon as they are available. That way, you can be at the head of the list to take advantage. The offers are given on a first come first served basis so you really do need to go the website and plan ahead. To get there easily, scan the QR code on this page. I have never taken to the idea of vouchers and coupons, but I love Latest Dining Deals. It offers brilliant opportunities but seems just that bit more discreet and sophisticated – more Latest, shall we say! We love Latest Dining Deals and we know that you will love it too. Bon appetit and enjoy our delicious deals. follow me on twitter


Have you signed up yet?

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L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit British & modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Blanch House

Enjoy a leisurely Sunday lunch at Blanch House, Brighton’s iconic boutique hotel in central Kemp Town. The locally sourced menu features Sussex Smokie, 21 day aged rib of Sussex beef, Sussex pork loin and their signature “Blanch House” sticky toffee pudding along with a selection of Sussex cheeses. Two courses for £15.95 and three courses for £19.95. Call to book your table. Blanch House, 17 Atlingworth Street, Brighton, BN2 1PL, 01273 603504,,

Breeze Brasserie

A bright, chilled restaurant, Breeze is situated on North Laine’s busy Trafalgar Street. Relaxed and upbeat, Breeze’s atmosphere matches its name, with friendly service and an informal, vintage style combining exposed brick with reclaimed clocks and mirrors with modern café seating and comfy banquettes. Inspired by modern European cuisine, Breeze serves brasserie style food, plus a good selection of heartier rustic dishes made with local produce throughout the day – breakfast, lunch and dinner – as well as offering a well stocked bar for those lazy evenings enjoying cocktails and good food. Breeze is the perfect addition to Brighton’s dining scene. Breeze, 98 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4ER, 01273 693377,

The Foragers

Great news: The Foragers, under talented young head chef, Josh Kitson, has beennamed ‘Best Eating Experience’ in The Sussex Food & Drink Awards 2012, and on top of that accolade they have also been awarded an AA rosette for their excellent cuisine. To celebrate these awards they are offering a complimentary bottle of bubbly to all bookings of ten or more (Monday to Thursday only), just be sure to mention Latest 7 when making your booking! The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, BN3 3YU 01273 733134,

The Loop Café-Bar & Coffee House

Nestling on Kemp Town seafront is this contemporary Anglo-Brazilian café-bar with a menu that features traditional English fare as well as some tasty Brazilian dishes. Whether you choose one of the stylish red sofas, or the sunny south-facing front terrace, you can enjoy free Wi-Fi while you savour the homemade food and great selection of coffees. Open 10am–6pm seven days a week. 16 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 677944, Mediterraneo Deli

The Medicine Chest

The Medicine Chest is receiving glowing reviews for its fabulous new menu from head chef Sebastien Dupire. Look out for his signature Tournedos Rossini soon to feature on the spring menu. Move downwards to the bar for Mick Fuller’s Soul nights starting every Friday from 2 March. The last word in cocktails, this bar is also available for private hire. Call or book online. The Medicine Chest, 51-55 Brunswick Street East, Hove BN3 1AU, 01273 770002,

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting. Locally owned and aiming to be the Cheers of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A fantastic wine list compliments their wholesome and satisfying food. The kids’ menu is also great value. Open Mon–Fri, 5pm–9.30pm; Sat–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm, and open all day bank holidays. Plus the garden is now open! 120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200,

The Upper Deck Restaurant at Rendezvous Casino

For a different dining experience, The Upper Deck Restaurant is set in the heart of the casino action while offering spectacular views over the English Channel, allowing you to enjoy the best of both worlds during your dining experience at the Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina. You don’t need to be a member to dine in The Upper Deck Restaurant; food is served from 12pm to 3am, and on Sunday evenings they serve a fabulous Chinese buffet available for just £5 per person. The Upper Deck Restaurant, Rendezvous Casino, Brighton Marina, 01273 605602

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321,

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

Blanch House

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs. No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude; everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm. 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415

Indian Chaula’s

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan as well as gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,

The Chilli Pickle

Local champion of regional Indian cuisine using seasonal, Sussex produce. For lunch you can feast upon a selection of award-winning King Thalis, street snacks, dosas, Roomali Roti wraps and Kathi Kebabs. There’s plenty of choice for vegetarian gourmands to enjoy too.The Chilli Pickle has been recognised with a Michelin Bib, two AA rosettes, voted Top 100 UK restaurant in The National Restaurant Awards and runners-up in this year’s Brighton Foodie Awards. Lunch is served 12pm–3pm; Dinner 6pm–10.30pm Closed Tuesdays. Booking essential. 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 900383,

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95 or three for £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477,

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135,

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

Mediterraneo Deli

Mediterraneo Deli is indeed a family business, dedicated to serving you the best tasting, truly genuine and most authentic Sicilian food. The family-run deli offers mouth-watering daily specials, birthday cakes made to order and typical Sicilian products. They enjoy catering for all events from lunch meetings to dinner parties and weddings. Every dish is prepared daily and served fresh to order with ingredients genuinely sourced from Sicily. Open 9am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10am –3pm Sat, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton, BN1 4NP, 01273 674350,

Private catering VTP Caterers Sussex

Based in Southwick, VTP Caterers are the Sussex specialists in Vintage Tea Parties and vintage china hire, starting at an amazing £8.99 pp inclusive of food and china! They also specialise in wedding cupcakes with 18 devine flavours to choose from! All types of celebrations and events are catered for including weddings, birthday parties, anniversaries, hen parties and business meetings. They also sell delicious layer cakes, loaf cakes and tray bakes freshly made to order and cater for special diets and allergies. All items are made at their home premises kitchen which has been passed by their local authority, is fully insured, they have a Level 2 hygiene certificate and the proprietor Patricia has over 22 years experience in the catering business. Deliveries are free on orders over £50 or you are welcome to collect. Trade enquiries are welcome. Call Patricia 01237 413829 or visit

Spanish Agua Dulce

If you like your tapas authentic then this is the place for you. Brilliant traditional Spanish food with regional specialities in relaxed surroundings. Superb meat, fish and seafood tapas plus excellent larger dishes like their suckling pig. There is live flamenco every Thursday, and new for 2012 is Tapas Tuesday where you can get 50 per cent off tapas from a selected menu (booking essential). Paella, sangria...All that’s missing is the Mediterranean sun! Agua Dulce, 10-11 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NE, 01273 328672,

Thai The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we’re open every day, so come down and ‘gin yur yur’ (eat a lot!) 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226, 

029_LS566_w116_waveworld_editorial 24/02/2012 09:27 Page 2

wave 29


Last month we sent Latest’s Laura off to Christian Vila’s bootcamp (at her request, mind!) to boost her fitness and improve her diet. Here’s how she got on... “I joined Brighton Kettlebells' New Year Bootcamp with trainer Christian Vila so I could shift those unwanted Christmas pounds and start the new year fighting fit. Kettlebells are iron weights shaped like cannonballs with handles, used for ballistic exercises that focus on endurance, strength, balance and cardio – turning unwanted fat into muscle. “The levels of intensity varied from beginners’ to advanced classes and I jumped straight into the advanced. I’m not saying this was easy as during my first session I thought I was going to be sick or faint! “Christian, Mark Stroud and Rooth Smethurst honestly gave brilliant support, inside the class and out. As it was a detox, we had to stick to eating lots of good fats and protein – plenty of avocado, eggs and nuts. Fast forward a

month later and my endurance is so much more noticeable. I attended three classes a week and now, at the end of bootcamp, my skin is glowing and I naturally wake up early. I lost a whopping 4.5kg of fat, my body fat percentage dropped from 21.5% to 19% and I lost an inch off my waist. I see the positive results so much so, that I’ve extended my detox for a month.” Kettlebells classes run regularly. There is also the Beach Body Bootcamp starting 28 April.


Tucked away behind the shops on Western Road, Evolution Arts is Brighton’s hidden treasure. It has been a vital part of Brighton for 20 years and more than 4,000 people a year gain skills, make friends, build confidence and have lots of fun at the centre – but there are many who have yet to discover the amazing variety of courses and workshops on offer. There are more than 90 courses in total including: Arts & Crafts,

Writing, Performance, Music, Dance, Wellbeing and Yoga, plus yoga and improvised comedy drop-ins. As part of the centre’s anniversary celebrations, there are several exciting special events ahead such as this Sunday’s Free Taster Day. Look out for Evolution Arts’ bright blue 20th anniversary programmes, found all over the city in coffee shops, bookshops and libraries.

WOMEN’S HEALTH SUPPLEMENTS If your breakfast comes with a side order of dietary supplements (blue Centrum, orange Vitamin C and

yellow Omega-3 cod liver oil anyone?), make sure you are taking the right ones for your lifestyle. Check out the range from the Natural Health Practice: Fertility and pregnancy, premenstrual health, stress, menopause and osteoporosis and even one to ‘lose your belly’. Available from all good health stores and


For stiff muscles, rheumatic pain and chilblains, soothing and warming Balmosa cream will keep you moving. The science bit: the cream’s warming action stimulates dilation of the capillaries, bringing blood to the affected area, helping to boost circulation. Nozohaem is a new gel used to treat nosebleeds (which are inconvenient and alarming!) in moments. Most people have a nosebleed at some point in their lives. The unique gel combines glycine and calcium, both known to have a positive impact on blood functionality, stopping bleeding in moments. Balmosa is available from chemists, £1.99 Nozohaem is available from follow me on twitter



Limited Special Offer Places Available

Open day 1st & 29th March 70 New Church Road, Hove BN3 4FL

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wave 31

10 classes half price (pay £75, save £75. 1 month expiry)

FIRST 3 POWER PLATE CLASSES £15 (SAVE £45, 10 day expiry) Call 01273 710855 & book NOW!

• Increase muscular tone • Aid weight loss • Increase core strength • Improve posture & flexibility • Reduce the appearance of cellulite • Maximum of 4 per class • Improve overall fitness

Relaxed & restored Bethany Hinchliffe induldges in a deep tissue massage at Revitalise in Brighton


NEW Brighton studio now open!

86 Church Road, Hove BN3 2EB 01273 738389 123A Western Rd (between Cambridge Rd and Brunswick Rd), Brighton 01273 710855

evitalise is a recently opened wellness centre on Western Road in Brighton. With owners Clare and Richard already owning the successful Revitalise in Hove, it was a perfect time to expand into Brighton too. Their friendly, professional and experienced therapists offer a wide range of therapies from massage to crystal healing, and classes from Power Plates to Yoga. With a calm, relaxing atmosphere which takes hold as soon as you walk through the door, Revitalise is well equipped with several treatment rooms and classrooms, and being open seven days a week means it can always be possible to make time for yourself . When given the chance to visit Revitalise in Brighton and experience a deep tissue massage, I had high hopes for a relaxing yet benefical treatment and I was certainly not left disappointed. Upon arrival I was greeted by the friendly reception staff and introduced to Ingrid, my therapist. As I was shown to the treatment room I was overwhelmed at just how calming it was, with the soft lighting and relaxation music. It was so wonderful to step in from the blistering cold outside into such a warm and inviting environment. Upon completion of a brief yet thorough consultation form which would highlight any health issues I might have, I was left to prepare for the treatment and make myself comfortable on the massage table. Ingrid then started to work her magic, all the while making sure I was comfortable and relaxed, while ensuring the pressure was okay for me at all times. I felt entirely at ease and totally relaxed throughout the next hour, in which I received massage on the Massage benefits shoulders, neck, back and legs. • Increases circulation Deep tissue massage is great for treating • Increases joint flexibility muscle tensions caused by exercise and • Improves concentration bad posture. Specific techniques are used • Relieves pain to loosen tight muscles and clear energy • Aids relaxation pathways, meaning your body benefits • Boosts immunity massively and you are left feeling • Improves posture completely pampered and relaxed. It’s a • Increases metabolism perfect treatment choice for anyone who’s • Reduces stress training for the Brighton Marathon this April • Improves muscle tone and a great way to reward your body for • Reduced recovery time working so hard. Revitalise also offers from muscular strain Swedish massage and sports massage. Another hugely benefical treatment is acupuncture, newly available at the Temple Acupuncture Clinic at Revitalise in Brighton. Acupuncture is a holistic Special offers approach which influences the energy of the body. Through the insertion of fine 2 for 1: Pay £43 for your needles into specific points, energy is first massage and receive directed into a harmonious state and as the second massage free this happens the person simultaneously (both massages must be feels more balanced on a whole. As well as with the same therapist) having a positive effect on the mind, acupuncture is used to relieve a huge £10 off a one hour deep range of conditions including digestive tissue massage disorders, joint pain and circulatory disorders. Chinese cosmology views the Only at Revitalise. Call to book person as a dynamic system of energy on 01273 710855. Offer ends connected to and influenced by his or her 31 March 2012 environment. Acupuncture reinforces this idea and is guaranteed to leave you feeling amazing. With a fantastic reader offer of £20 for an initial treatment and £20 follow up, saving a further £10, it’s the perfect time to book yourself in and experience this first-class treatment. Revitalise, 86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389,, and 123A Western Road, Brighton, 01273 710855,, Visit the website for more special offers.

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What is... anoxy pod?

beach. The Oxy Pod (also known as The Lady Gaga Egg to, well, me) was developed by NASA and you can tell to look at it. It looks like a mini spaceship, or at least something from the film Cocoon. Once you’re in it the temperature is raised, causing a sweaty detox as sweating means burning calories. The red light used in the pod also stimulates the collagen in your skin, encouraging healing and making your skin look looked all toned and lovely. The idea is to expose as much skin as possible to the lights while in the heated Oxy Pod. You open up the pod and lie on a heated bed, which vibrates according to how much you want it to. As soon as I was able to I did what anyone in their Juice FM’s Andrea Fox recovers from Brighton right mind would. I turned it up to 11. I was in the pod for 25 minutes and with Half Marathon the temperature a mere 65°F. It goes as hot as 76°F which is apparently pretty hard to lie in. Your ow did you recover from the Brighton Half head stays outside the pod, being kept cool with a Marathon? It might have been a banana, fan and I didn’t find the heat to much to handle; Lucozade or Sunday roast – all officially the whole experience was like lying on a beach, recommended by race organisers, I believe. I went without the pebbles, seagulls or London tourists. for all of the above, but my recovery also included (Which one is the most annoying? Answers on a chilling out in Lady Gaga’s egg. Or at least postcard.) The pod sounds like your fridge trying something that looks like its Brighton cousin. Oh, to dance once it gets going so some background and I managed the race in 1:59, thanks for asking. music is required. Some people who have the Dental Health Spa on Queens Road, Brighton, treatment regularly listen to Ibiza club tunes? has been looking after molars in the city since Not for me thanks. I much preferred the chill out 2007, but they also have their Derma Health Spa album complete with Massive Attack. upstairs, with some treatments intended to tone Sheltered from the heat my face got a double your body and reduce your waistline. They’ve treat: a face mask with gold in it. Admittedly, when “My recovery included chilling I had the Gold Bio Collagen facial mask on I looked even got a ‘Boostcamp’ training program using their two main treatments, with the aim to lose like I had the face of Iron Man. But it smelt of rose out in Lady Gaga’s egg” weight and boost your metabolism. All this and water and had lots of things in it like vitamin C, the treatments are relaxing too. Relaxing. seaweed and gold powder. Exercise. You read correctly. I was sold. It’s been a while since I lay on a beach but on Queens Road on a cold February First up is a version of the Power Plates you may have heard about. Monday, the Oxy Pod was the closest I’m likely to get for a while. It was so According to the ladies at Derma Health Spa the Body Action vibration training relaxing that burning calories is just a bonus. Carol and Christina at the Dental & uses a rocking motion rather than shaking and this is apparently much easier Derma Health Spa are both advocates and have recently both lost weight, Carol on your joints. Standing in a series of positions on the plate as it rocks back using just the two treatments I tried, so it proves it works for them. With Vibration and forth really fast makes your muscles tense 20 times a second. A few training from £5 and £35 for a session in the pod it’s an affordable treat all over. minutes on the plate is the same to your muscles as an hour in the gym. With my legs tight from the Half Marathon run I wasn’t up for anything resembling a work out, but the rocking of the vibration training is also good for getting rid of Listen to The Guy & Andrea Breakfast Show on lactic acid in knackered legs. Brighton’s Juice 107.2 every Monday to Friday from 7am The next step after vibration training is to get into the Oxy Pod. This is still follow me on twitter andrea_fox part of the exercise regime, but the kind of exercise that is like lying on a




conway practice Specialist in Smoking Cessation and Weight Control • Self Esteem • Anxiety • Phobias

Jonathan Conway Bsc Dip EHPNLP MNCH (acc) NLP Master Practitioner & Coach

• Public Speaking • Relationship Difficulties

• Learn Self Hypnosis Help with Emotional problems and Wellbeing


Brighton, Hove, East Sussex & London Practices

01273 540425 • 07956 855027

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Dear Jacquie Your queries about natural health answered by Jacquie Lane from the College of Naturopathic Medicine Dear Jacquie Can you explain what wholegrain foods are? And also good fats? I find the whole ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods confusing depending what you read. SL, Brighton Yes, it can all get confusing especially with the internet and articles in newspapers often contradicting each other. Let’s look at carbohydrates and fats – the ones you should be eating and the ones you should avoid. Good Carbs VS Bad Carbs Good carbs are natural, unprocessed and unrefined whole grains. They include whole wheat, oats, rye, spelt, quinoa, barley, millet, buckwheat and brown rice. Other sources are root vegetables like carrots, parsnips, turnips, and sweet potatoes. These grains and products provide the essential nutrients we need plus they taste delicious! The fibre content in them also helps encourage regular

bowel movements and may decrease your risk of colon cancer. Bad carbs include white flour, white rice, white sugar and all products made from them (also known as refined carbohydrates) like cakes, biscuits, crisps, some breads, crackers, etc. The processing of the grains strips away all of the naturally occurring nutrients and fibre. Some vitamins may be added back after processing, but only a fraction of the amount that was originally in the grain. Refined carbohydrates are quickly converted to sugar in your body and can be stored as fat if we don’t burn them off with exercise.

Good Fats and Bad Fats Good fats include; olive oil (preferably extra-virgin, cold pressed), avocado, flaxseed oil, Hemp oil, fish oils, nuts, seeds and coconut oil. Healthy oils and fats may help lower LDL (bad) cholesterol levels without lowering HDL levels (good) so your HDL/LDL ratio may improve. Regular consumption of healthy oils and good fats may help lower your risk of heart disease, stroke and cancers. Bad fats are processed fats, also known as hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated fats and oils. They contain trans-fatty acids (trans-fats), which are fats that are not found in nature, so your body can’t metabolise them. Trans-fats are found in deep fried foods, margarine, some processed baked foods and most processed (packaged) foods. Still a bit confused? See a qualified and registered Nutritional Therapist to help you devise a personal plan. See your health professional for advice.

Jacquie Lane is a lecturer at the College of Naturopathic Medicine (CNM) and the Director of Studies at CNM in Brighton. Jacquie also runs her own nutrition clinic in Brighton and manages a biological testing lab specialising in digestive issues. Email Jacquie Lane:

CNM open evening If you would like to train to become a nutritional therapist, please book to attend CNM’s next open evening in Brighton. Call 01342 410505 or visit

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L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at

DEAD OR ALIVE THE WANTED, Brighton Centre, 20 February JJJJJ


’ve never known so many support acts for one show – over two hours worth, and all the teenage girls at the Brighton Centre just wanted one thing (or five). The support was vast and varied, using The Wanted tour as a stepping stone to stardom. Girl band Fanfair were a hit with the younger crowd with their matching mini-dresses and precise dance routines. As they settled into their set, their confidence increased; a bit of attitude, Girls Aloud style, was visible and tracks were reminiscent of girl bands Mis-Teeq and Atomic Kitten. Final support act Ben Montague played his own instruments, and again seemed to improve as he settled into his set with his catchy, Ricky Martinstyle sound gearing up the crowd for The Wanted. And boy, were we ready. The Code tour even came with a ‘film’ on the big screen played at the start and as intervals. The synopsis? The Wanted have 90 minutes (the length of their show) to break the code. The countdown clock from my favourite TV show 24 heightened the action, although the action itself unveiled as more EastEnders than Hollywood action drama. The Wanted’s music more than made up for this. From acoustic love songs – playing their own instruments (kudos guys) to a Coldplay medley, The Wanted proved they have the capability of a grownup, mature sound, which is why I loved them too. But for the teens they are heartthrobs, and so much of their performance played up to this fact. ‘Say It On The Radio’, a track from their first album I had never heard, was a highlight, while ‘All Time Low’ and ‘Glad You Came’ had the crowd jumping with fantastic energy. These guys have the potential to be around a very long time, and after seeing them live, I’m hoping they will be. Hats off to their great band too; ‘Warzone’ has never sounded so good. Zara Baker


Reg D Hunter has something of the intellectual seducer about him, an articulateness implying he could get you to believe anything given the right number of words and unbroken eye-contact – all with a sly smile and an air of faux innocence that pulls you in to his journey of out-there ideas and familial anecdotes. With an honesty that cuts to the core of believability and true entertainment, that never once dips into that dangerous land of self-indulgent less funny venting, Hunter is a master of his craft. As such he brought one of his mentors, John Gordillo, on as his support act – without pomp in such a

large room and with a sharpness of mind and humour that clearly ties the two men together. An excellent show. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome 17 February JJJJJ Victoria Nangle

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Asian Dub Foundation have had their ups and downs since bursting onto the scene with their politicallyinfused lyrics and genre-defying beats back in 1995. But their live reputation coupled with last year’s return-to-form ‘A History Of Now’ had fans coming out for what felt more like an underground gig than a club night. Taking to the stage at midnight they smashed through a high energy set with tracks spanning their nine albums including Fortress Europe, Flyover and Urgency Frequency. The explosive show, a combination of sharp delivery and Asian-flavoured rhythms, definitely made this ‘audio-visual sound system show’ worth staying up for. Concorde 2, 17 February JJJJJ Kayleigh Lewis


A late Coward that’s seldom performed should have warned me that this was not his best. Not that it didn’t contain some good lines. The trouble was that this slightest of tales was really an indulgent and introspective look at the man as writer, director and player. Coward expressing his feelings for those three conflicting roles. This production did its best and the evening was never less than entertaining with some engaging performances and delicious period authenticity. Sadly it did not work and for one reason – Liza Goddard, who gave a fine performance, was simply too sympathetic and nowhere near bitchy enough. I found all of her machinations to remain a ‘star’ pretty acceptable, not nice maybe but understandable. Because of that, the rest of the cast seemed rather out of step. Despite this, it was a fascinating evening with some excellent performances. Theatre Royal Brighton, 21 February JJJJJ Andrew Kay


Renowned drug dealer, farmer, smuggler, convict, Oxbridge graduate and latter day author, Howard Marks held forth sharing stories and opinions on his times, struggles and victories in dulcet tones straight from the valleys with charm and the smile of the cat who always knew he’d get the cream. The first half of the show focused chiefly on his autobiographical notes and a set piece in praise of tobacco, accompanied by a slide show that I can’t say I was too impressed with but Marks' audience lapped up. The second half covered the launch of his new fiction writing career – which proved engaging – and an enlightening Q&A session. A mostly fascinating rogue. Komedia, 22 February JJJJJ Victoria Nangle Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows?

L7 Bookings On sale this week…


Ropetackle Centre, 26 May 2012, £14, 01273 464440, Following his highly acclaimed Sony Award and Writers Guild awardwinning Radio 4 comedy show Mark Steel’s In Town, writer and stand-up comedian Mark Steel is back on the road. As the armies unleashed by Tesco, chain stores, and call centres continue to make everywhere miserably identical; Mark is on a mission – to save civilization.

BRIGHTON FESTIVAL FRINGE 2012 various locations, throughout May 2012, £varies, 01273 673311, Brighton Festival Fringe has some brilliant new innovations, new venues and fabulous shows to take

How To Read Minds & Influence People

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to

up the entire month. Dip Your Toe employs installation shows in several swimming machines, taking us back to ye olden days – and if you fancy stepping into the future Doug Segal, about whom the buzz is getting quite deafeningly loud – so well worth checking out, has a show called How To Read Minds & Influence People. Elsewhere, The Hurly Burly, popular performers at every music festival across the land last year, are setting up a family and performance area filled with delights outside St Peter’s Church. Add to that a generous dose of generally excellent shows from the likes of Susan Calman, Sara Pascoe, Phil Kay, Pappy’s, Isy Suttie, Mike Wozniak, Chris Mayo and, of course, The Ladyboys Of Bangkok. And that’s before we’ve even started on Brighton Bingo with photos of the sights, and more literary events than you can shake a library at.


Brighton Dome venues, May 2012, £various, 01273 709709, The Brighton Festival 2012, curated by UNICEF ambassador and acclaimed actress Vanessa Redgrave, released its new programme last week, packed to the brim with tasty treats – many of which are free. Dreamthinkspeak are back after the success of their last show here in 2010 in the old Co-op, considering Chekhov, this time conducting a meditation on Shakespeare’s Hamlet and called The Rest Is Silence. There’s a chance to catch some remarkable films, both documentaries, raising issues and awareness of our current situation (check out The Killing Fields introduced by Redgrave and the film’s maker Carlo Nero and Mandela’s Children including a panel discussion featuring two of his grandsons), as well as some original screenings of classic Redgrave flicks. Add to that A World I Loved, Spymonkey’s Oedipussy, Camille O’Sullivan, Live Transmission Scanner and Heritage Orchestra reworking Joy Division, Smashed, and all manner of outside treats at new space Black Rock – our cup runneth over. Spymonkey’s Oedipussy


Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 10

1 Osaro And RJ Shut Up And Dance 2 Boa Marks Merchandised Eyes 3 Moonlighter Every Time I Fall 4 The Fadadoo Project Lost in a crowd 5 The Last Cry Rebekka 6 Shoot the Dead NW1 7 Threepenny Thieves New Romantic 8 Drewvis Estoy Esperando 9 Dannydangerously Haribo 10 Coda Luna Folie a Deux Can no-one knock Osaro and RJ’s ‘Shut Up and Dance’ from the top spot? Boa Marks is certainly creeping up on the current leader, rising from last week’s position (eight). Aside from that, there’s not a lot of change to the top 20, with the likes of The last Cry and The Magik Word holding firm. Don’t forget, you hold the power to make that change! Listen to tracks online to influence the Number One spot. In a band? Submit your own tracks to be included. Back next week!

11 The Magik Word Break Free (Terrorvision) 12 Maria Mcateer – Her Night At Noon Drink The Pain Away 13 Zoe Konez When The Snow Came 14 The Wolfgirl Liberation Tuesday 15 Nick Conroy Forever 16 Fireworks For Summer Building Fires In A Circle Around Her House 17 Shoot the Dead Lullaby 18 Shoot the Dead Kill Machine Kill 19 Julia Fitness Over Love 20 Nick Conroy Better Days SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos


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STAGE: SEVEN FOR A SECRET Andrew Kay attends rehearsals at Rambert Dance Company prior to their Theatre Royal Brighton appearances


n the world of dance the name Rambert resounds. Founder Dame Marie had met Sergei Diaghilev, worked with him at Ballet Russes and with Nijinsky, and danced for them too. But in 1914 she moved to Great Britain where she eventually created Ballet Club which, in turn, became Ballet Rambert. The company has been visiting and performing at Brighton’s Theatre Royal since the 1930s so it seemed reasonable enough for me to go see them at their West London headquarters. In fact, it was a privilege and one that will live with me for a long while. There I met with artistic director Mark Baldwin who has been with company now for ten years in that role but had formerly danced for the company, again for ten years. Mark talks passionately about the company and about the work he does with them. His most recent piece, Seven For A Secret, is an evocative study of play. Working

with many of the separate parts that make up the company, he has created from childhood memory and from observation a dance work that explores the notion of play. Later that day I am allowed to sit in on a full run through of the new work. It’s a joyous experience, even without lights, set and costume. In fact, it helps focus the mind of the pure physicality of the work, and being so close, the immense strength and exertion of the dancers. What really came home was the nostalgic nature of the work. Mark is clearly remembering a time when child’s play was just that. A time when kids would roam the countryside freely, exploring, playing and taking risks. It’s a situation almost completely gone now with the oppressive threats of modern life and the worry of modern parental responsibility. But for me he conjured my days of bridging streams, catching Pic: © Hugo Glendinning

Seven For A Secret Never To Be Told

minnows and building dens. A world where all was there to be conquered and conquer it we did. Seeing rehearsals, and I was lucky enough to see several, and sitting in on a costume call, for a new work yet to be programmed for Brighton, gave me a further insight into the way this company works. To describe it as a tight knit family might sound simplistic, but there is that quality to the relationships in the room. It’s a happy family too, with a great sense of fun running alongside what is clearly a very intense working environment, one that is clearly physically demanding but also intellectually demanding too. Not that you see any of that effort in performance, where the finished effect is one of almost effortless beauty. Seven For A Secret is at the heart of the programme that Rambert Dance Company will be bringing to Brighton this season. Alongside it we will be seeing Elysian Fields, taken from a passage in the film score of Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire and based on his life and his work. Choreographed by Javier de Frutos, whose work has achieved international acclaim, this piece is passionate, erotic and intense. The third work will be Roses

Pic: © Gavin Evans

L7 Previews

set to music by Richard Wagner and Heinrich Baermann and choreographed by American Paul Taylor, once described by Martha Graham as the ‘naughty boy' of dance. As always, the company tour with live musicians, a rare treat with modern dance companies. Theatre Royal Brighton has a strong fan base for Rambert and the atmosphere in the always full auditorium will be heady. Dance lovers of all ages will be on the edge of their seats to see these three works and, having seen a sneak preview, their expectations will be more than met. Rambert Dance Company, Theatre Royal Brighton, 28–31 March. Box office 08448 717 650,

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES Petrushka: Create 2 Learn Festival Theatre, Chichester Tues 28 Feb Box office 01243 781312 A Bed Full of Foreigners Connaught Theatre, Worthing Tue 28 Feb–Sat 3 March Box office 01903 206206 Neighbourhood Watch Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne Tue 28 Feb–Sat 3 March Box office 01323 412000 The Kings Speech Theatre Royal Brighton Tue 28 Feb–Sat 3 March Box office 08448 717 650 follow me on twitter


TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

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LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 37 CLUBS: COCO LOCO Brighton’s only ‘preppy student’ midweek night, playing the very best in UK chart, dance, house, dubstep, dancehall and sexy US R’n’B. With shockingly low drink prices too, starting from £1.60 Coalition, Wed 29 Feb, 10pm–late, £2–£5, free before 11pm Boogaloo Stu

CLUBS: THE POP KRAFT SATURDAY SPECIAL Another proper knees-up with Boogaloo Stu, Dolly Rocket, The Size Zero Albino, Darran Duran and special guests. With plenty of things to make and do, and lots of pop music from the likes of Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Beyonce. Get a fabulous up-do in the hair-hopper salon and play outrageous party games. Proud Brighton Ballroom, Saturday 3 March, 7pm–2am, £6 advance

of brass within its overwhelmingly classic English indie. Blind Tiger Club, Wed 29 Feb, 7.30pm, £8 MUSIC: RACHEL SERMANNI Scottish acoustic folkstress who toured with Ron Sexsmith last year and has just released the Black Currents EP. Earlier in her career she did some supports with Mumford & Sons and this has led to a lasting relationship with the band. Latest Musicbar, Thurs 1 Mar, 8pm, £7 MUSIC: BAND OF SKULLS Southampton three-piece, with an unmistakable likeness for The White Stripes, but whose not-quite-so raw and more melodic approach to songwriting, combined with their unique harmonies, has set the pulses racing within rock’s alternative community. Concorde 2, Mon 5 Mar, 7.30pm, £15 Rachel Sermanni

MUSIC: FANFARLO London-based indie pop outfit who fuse elements of folk and punk within their vaguely carnivalesque sound that has seen them compared to Beirut. Their new album, Rooms Filled With Light, also features a few blasts Band of Skulls

MUSIC: PHANTOM LIMB Bristol’s Phantom Limb mix poignancy with sensuality


ed by the charismatic Yolanda Quartey and featuring Massive Attack collaborator Stew Jackson among their ranks, this Bristol five-piece have just released their second album, In The Pines, follow up to their self-titled 2008 debut. Possessing a powerful, soulful, and deeply impressionistic voice, Yolanda and her brilliant band of musicians have won over many fans in recent years, helped along by some tour supports with the likes of Will Young and Rumer, and the fact they can write truly melodic songs that take in classic American styles of gospel, country and soul, but all perfectly crafted pop gems. A thing of rare beauty, Yolanda has gone to considerable lengths to protect her voice. “I worry about my voice, I had to find out more than what was available to help protect it. Adele lost her voice when I did some backing vocals for her and I was nattering on about losing my voice, and decided I needed [voice] therapy. On tour I get to test out my theories quite a lot... when everyone is coughing and spluttering around me, the colds are trying to get at my voice, so I get to test these theories out. A lot of cats are getting onto this stuff.” In the Pines was recorded in the oil capital of California, Signal Hill, with The Black Crowes’ producer Marc Ford. “That was awesome. We’re massive Crowes fans. Essentially, we went there because we needed a certain level of objectivity. We wanted him to take us further on into our influences, into the things we love, it was a real eye opener – that experience of being produced. The band’s influences are mainly old school. “I was curious when I was a kid – mostly through my friends, Stew’s family and friends. I got Dolly Parton from my mum’s collection and sang along to it – my voice is Dolly like,” she reckons. “For the new album we were looking to artists such as Neil Young, The Band, Delaney & Bonny, Mad Dogs and Englishmen [Joe Cocker’s infamous live band/album of the ‘70s].” It’s a far cry from the Bristol scene that famously gave us the likes of Massive Attack and Portishead. “Since that O Brother, Where Art Thou film came out there has been a real resurgence of Americana... It’s hit Bristol so much that someone coined the phrase Brashville – where Bristol meets Nashville. I think it’s happening everywhere. It’s down in no small measure to Gillian Welch and David Rawlings – they are my heroes. Most of the people I know who went to their gig had a nice little cry!” Saturday 3 March, Latest Musicbar, 8pm, £6.50 follow me on twitter


TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

036_039_LS566_previews_editorial 24/02/2012 12:31 Page 4


Nik Coppin

LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS us enrages me, there is still a lot of sexism and don’t start me on ageism – still, being an ageing female comic gives me a great excuse to be crap, if people aren’t laughing it’s because they’re sexist and ageist, ha-ha, I win.” You helped develop and regularly appear in BBC2’s Grumpy Old Women. What was the last thing that made you wig out with a grump? “A rude shop assistant, the warning battery in my smoke alarm going off at 4am, a cold bath, a moth hole – that was yesterday.” Are you now best pals with Shaun Ryder after going into the jungle in I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here? “I actually see more of Dom Joly, but if I was up North, I’d love to bump into Shaun and family – Dom tells me where to go, literally, he’s the best travel agent I know.” What surprised you most about that whole experience? “How cold and damp Australia could be, they might as well have done it in Wales.”

COMEDY: BIG CHEER FOR AMAZE Award-winner and headliner at the parent-supporting charity Amaze’s fundraiser, Jenny Eclair chats to Victoria Nangle about why it’s good to give First off the bat, how did you find out about Amaze? “Through my ancient friend Annabel Giles, whom I have worked with a few times over the years, Annabel is one of those people who looks too beautiful to be funny, but is hilarious. I once became almost incontinent on a camel while we filmed a travel show together because she was making me laugh so much.” What’s the best advice you were ever given as a parent? “‘Let them get on with it’, interfering is my biggest problem,

I am pathologically nosey and an awful catastrophist.” What’s the best advice you were ever given as a comic? “Get on with it, there is no advice apart from the old, ‘fail to prepare, prepare to fail,’ adage, I’m not a great improviser, I wish I was.” How annoying is the label ‘female comic’, when you’re introduced to the stage, as opposed to plain ‘comic’? “I’d rather ‘female’ than ‘rubbish’, the title doesn’t bother me, I’m proud to be a lady comic, but the treatment of

What three things would you save from your burning house, and why? “Apart from the three of us, my computer with my work on it, my iPad and my handbag.” Invisible for the day. What would you get up to? “Oh listen, I’m invisible every day, I’m 51.”

COMEDY: CULT COMEDY One of Hove’s most prestigious gastro-pubs plays host to an evening of local comedic delights. Seven new comics each performing a short set, right in the heart of Hove-land. For not very much money at all. A grand night out to end your February. The Forager, Tues 28 Feb, 8pm, £4/3 EVENTS: ACE STORIES WITH ALISON MACLEOD Alison MacLeod is author of the story collection Fifteen Tales Of Modern Attraction and two novels The Changeling and The Wave Theory Of Angels. Alison is headlining Ace Stories and will be supported by Brighton-based writers Robert Dickinson, author of The Noise of Strangers, and Laura Hunter. Hotel Pelirocco, Sunday 4 March, 6pm, £3 EVENTS: EVOLUTION ARTS AND NATURAL HEALTH Evolution Arts is celebrating their 20 year anniversary with a bright blue brochure full of courses and workshops that are available in the upcoming year. On this week’s free taster day, sample courses in arts and crafts, writing, performance, music, dance and yoga, and meet the team. With nibbles, soft drinks and a prize draw too. 2 Sillwood Terrace, (behind Western Road) Brighton, Sunday 4 March, 10.30am–5pm, free,

What’s the best reason to get involved in a charity event? “Because a mate asks you and the reason she asks you is because the charity is a good one and you want to help.” Big Cheer For Amaze features Jenny Eclair, Simon Evans, Ian Moore, Justin Moorhouse, MC Jason Cook and more. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Thursday 1 March, 7pm, £25/19.50, follow me on twitter


TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

tues 28 february

when i’m pretty presents

8.00pm £8/ £7 advanced

the sumerian kyngs + dj melita 8.00pm £4 on the door

fri 2 march

wed 29 february

8.30pm £8/ £5 students

harry oakwood + dan powell + mark wright

cafe bar

7.30 £5

cabaret bar

greek night with george kypreos band

joymask + guests 8.00pm free entry

thurs 1 march

melting vinyl presents rachel sermanni + special guests

sat 3 march

one inch badge presents

phantom limb

+ jo harman opens the show with an acoustic set. 8.00pm £6.50

sun 4 march

bark like a dog blues jam

musicians are welcome to join in the fun and play alongside. 8.00pm free!

mon 5 march

bimm party

live bands covering the biggest hits, 50s-00s. 7.30 £4/ £2 concs & fancy dress

036_039_LS566_previews_editorial 24/02/2012 12:37 Page 5

Brighton Belles


ART: DAWN STACEY Dawn Stacey’s paintings evolve from walks and journeys where memories are stored as a source of inspiration, particularly Lewes Railways lands and Hamsey. Dawn Stacey: A Sense Of Place, Hop Gallery, Castle Ditch Lane, Lewes, 07740 424949. Sat 3–Thu 15 March

(Paul Rudd) and Linda (Jennifer Aniston) dropping out of the Manhattan rat race and finding redundancy circumstances relocate them to Atlanta, where they stumble upon a utopian community. With the only rule to ‘be yourself’, could the uptight couple find happiness in a chilled out environment, or could too much wanderlust be a bad thing? Released Fri 2 March Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

ART: JAY COLLINS Primarily an urban landscape artist, Jay’s paintings and prints owe something to the influence of recent great painters in this field such as Edward Hopper, L.S. Lowry and John Piper, whose work is imbued with atmosphere and is rooted in their environment. Jay Collins: Brighton Seen: The New Stein Hotel, New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546. Until Sun 29 April FILM: WANDERLUST (15) Dir: David Wain Not that this drama/comedy could in any way resonate with the inhabitants of some of East Sussex’s locales (dripping sarcasm), this story sees George Jay Collins


FILM: THIS MEANS WAR (12A) Director: McG


For full details of film times:

ig bang specialist McG adds to his action back catalogue of Charlie’s Angels 1 and 2, and Terminator Salvation with this pithy romcom about two best mate CIA agents who fall for the same girl. Using all the options at their disposal to win the lady around brings up so many more possibilities than your usual office rivalry, and with Star Trek’s maverick Kirk, Chris Pine clashing swords with upcoming The Dark Knight Rises nemesis Bane, Brit Tom Hardy. Both chaps are more well known for their action CVs than romantic comedy experience (Pine’s 2006 Just My Luck with Lindsay Lohan debacle notwithstanding), so it will be interesting to see how the muscle-bound action bunnies take to the comic timing and light touch delivery. Obviously, perky femme fatale Reese Witherspoon is an old hand at the genre. It’s a simple premise, much like Mr. & Mrs Smith: The Courting Years might have been, but whether there’s anything more than that remains to be seen. With the script coming from the pen that brought us romcom Just Go With It (starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston) and boys’ gross out Role Models (starring Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott) this should continue a trend of passable fun. Read our interview with This Means War star Reese Witherspoon, p20, and win film goodie bags in Competitions, p18. Released Friday 2 March. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Listings Send your stage listings to: Send your comedy listings to: Send your events listings to: Send your arts listings to: Send your music listings to: Send your club listings to: Send your gay listings to:

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040_LS566_stars-TV column_024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 24/02/2012 09:52 Page 2



STARS With Val Aviv

HARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

It feels impossible to move forward with an endless stream of details clogging up the diary. While it is devastatingly frustrating for a person of your caliber and potential, just keep on trucking as what you do to perfection will only better your prospects.

HTAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

Teamwork is where the magic happens so where possible, try and see yourself as part of something bigger and feel at one with those who share the same dreams as you. There is more satisfaction in doing things together rather than alone.

HGEMINI {May 22–June 21}

A growing energy is stirring within, could this be the start of something special? Deep-rooted habits need re-jigging to bring you up to date with the world in which you find yourself now. This is not a difficult transition, but it is a vital one.

HCANCER {June 22–July 22}

There are obstacles to overcome in your career, a well-crafted letter or conversation could help you find the right path and achieve far more than you originally thought. Being more forthright and open will help you move forwards.

HLEO {July 23–Aug 22}

It’s epiphany and revelations all the way and while we sometimes get caught up in the turmoil of life’s highs and lows, finding a central place from which to consider all angles and remain objective is a calmer place for you to flourish.

HVIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

There’s a change of mind state as your curious ruler Mercury moves out from the deep waters of Pisces and into the fiery regions of the Ram. So while getting to grips with your feelings is a whole lot easier, practising patience might not.

HLIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

Important communications are on the up and just when you thought life was easy to predict a turn around can leave you mentally exhilarated. Get into the mindset for fast-paced change and allowing others to lead the way as this brings new friends.

HSCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

Everyone you meet is bringing forth opportunity. While chitchat never did come easy, especially now, it is not a cause for concern as what is actually happening is a deep cosmic synthesis with you and your understanding of the world around you.

HSAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

When on the road to self-mastery a certain self-pruning can help the process along. Losing deadwood and refining your skills that are the building blocks to having a good professional reputation will be a good way to prepare.

HCAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Like most journeys in life, we cannot always know the destination of the road we’re on, unless we have a map. Sometimes we get the map after and then realise we’ve been going in circles. Enjoy the territory now; the map comes when you’re ready.

HAQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

One can never be too prepared for what’s around the corner. Life’s nature is to evolve and change; therefore if we are stubborn beyond what’s good for us, the changes will come regardless. Open your mind wide, there’s a lot to like.

HPISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

It’s not so much about how others see you that counts, but how you see yourself. Making peace with the outside world can only happen once you’ve made an effort to resolve inner conflicts. Things are always better than they seem. Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at:

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 828 FEBRUARY – 5 MARCH them. This is the caricature; the effeminate gay man, the ditzy female driver, the dumb blonde. The fact that Michelle and Jane look so different, have different dress senses, bone structure, ages, backgrounds, and yet travel similar paths, gently With Victoria Nangle but firmly corrodes the possibility of any cliché developing. In the same way that everyone might go to school but everyone has a different experience, these are just two of a very small minority who share an experience, explained with detailed clarity and without sensationalism, and yet that experience is uniquely theirs. espite its title, My Dad Is A Woman is not I know this all sounds like common sense, but particularly sensationalist. It’s quiet, with the horn of plenty that has made up recent considered, could arguably say more, but says documentaries made on a shoestring following more than I’ve certainly seen on television before real people’s lives, there has been a temptation for about living as a transgender woman and how it some filmmakers to turn what started out as a affects her family. Apparently, there snapshot into a journey or story. In are vastly more male to female ‘real life’ there very rarely is a clear transgender people in this country beginning at exactly the time “This is not a than those making a gender move in cameras turn up. It’s not that tidy. the other direction. This is why, it is drastic story in There may be key things that implied by the narrator, both of the happen, but not everybody lives its delivery, only happily ever after a wedding, and programme’s studies are regarding women who used to be men. no wedding arrives without fanfare in its subject” There’s a fair amount of unsaid and due consideration, sometimes information mixed in with the saiddating back further than the actual out-loud, both by this documentary’s narrator and relationship! Such is the way with operations, by the subjects of the programme. It was revelations and integrations. And why this interesting to hear how each of the couples – both snapshot seems most appropriate. Jane and Michelle’s wives – have stayed with There is a mention, in the programme, of them, continuing to be their best friends, have Nuffield Hospital in Brighton. It’s always good to dealt with telling their children about what was hear a local facility getting recognition. There is going on and about the slow development and also coverage of voice tuition, fashion tips from a unhappy hiding of Jane and Michelle’s realisation teenage daughter, birthday presents once longed of who they really were, when they were living as for and now received, hair removal... so many men. And it was interesting how differently they, snapshots to come together to make one clear but as parents, decided to act. Not drastically – as not absolute impression. Which is about as much this is not a drastic story in its delivery, only in its as you can get of anyone in only an hour. subject – but differently. My Dad Is A Woman, ITV1, Wednesday 29 February There is a danger to try and pigeon-hole what a follow me on twitter latestvicky person is like simply because of one aspect of

Telly Talk

True colours D

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tuesday 28 Horizon: The Truth About Exercise BBC2, 9pm Most of us want to get fit, but many don’t really want to slog on down to the gym or put in, you know, the actual legwork. Michael Mosley is of a similar mind, but wants to find out more, like if there are any shortcuts, and why some of us don’t respond to exercise at all.

The Richard Dimbleby Lecture 2012 BBC1, 10.35pm Leading geneticist, Nobel laureate, president of the Royal Society and chief exec of the UK Centre for Medical Research, you could say that Sir Paul Nurse is a bit of a fan of science. Here he explores the wonders of it all, from enhancing our culture to improving healthcare. Lots really.

The Vampire Diaries ITV2, 9pm Stefan’s been quite contrary of late, what with hiding the coffins holding the bodies of Klaus’ family. Not civilised behaviour! Well, he does seem to be turning to the dark side, which is rather worrying for Elena as Klaus is not beyond threatening her and her family to get his family back. Will Stefan bend? That hair gel won’t.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 A Picture Of Health 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Doorstep Crime 999 11.30 Cowboy Trap 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Indian Doctor 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me What You’re Made Of 3.35 Wingin’ It 3.55 Deadly Art 4.15 OOglies 4.30 Pixelface 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show. 7.30 EastEnders Lucy recruits Lauren in her mission to catch out Mandy – will her evidence change Ian’s mind about his secretive fiancee? 8.00 Holby City Hanssen has a plan to secure Holby’s future as a teaching hospital, but who will he choose as clinical skills teacher? Elliot is told he cannot treat a critically-ill patient, but risks everything to save a life. 9.00 Prisoners’ Wives Drama series. As the case against her husband gathers momentum, Gemma continues to lead a double life; but how long before Steve gets suspicious? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Richard Dimbleby Lecture 2012 See highlights. 11.20 Who Do You Think You Are? Tim McGraw Series in which American celebrities trace their ancestry, discovering secrets and surprises from their past. 11.50 The Celebrity Apprentice USA The American version of the business-based reality series. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Inside Men 2.20 An Island Parish 2.50 Rip Off Britain 3.20 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.05 News


6.00 – 8.50am Children’s television 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.35 Guess With Jess 9.45 Harry And Toto’s World Of Opposites 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Animal Park 1.30 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 My Life In Books Anne Robinson invites well-known personalities to discuss their favourite books. 7.00 Raymond Blanc: The Very Hungry Frenchman Raymond heads to the German border and the picturesque region of Alsace, where he will cook for the locals, who are known for their hospitality and hearty appetites. 8.00 Alex Polizzi – The Fixer Alex Polizzi is called in to a faltering fancy dress shop in Essex – Props and Frocks. Last year, owner Adele took out bank loans to prevent the business going bust. When Alex arrives she discovers one of the main reasons why – thousands and thousands of lines of stock. 9.00 Horizon: The Truth About Exercise See highlights. 10.00 Have I Got Old News For You Another chance to see the prizewinning comedy quiz show. With Ian Hislop and Paul Merton. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 Rubicon Post-9/11 conspiracy drama serial. 12.05am Rubicon 12.50 BBC News 4.00 The Bloodhound Adventure 5.00 After Life: Rot Box Detectives


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss 9.55 Three In A Bed 11.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 12.00pm Channel 4 News Midday Summary 12.05 Quick Bakes With Eric Lanlard 12.20 FILM: Battle Cry (1955) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Determined to prove himself, Adam begs Moira to let him run the farm. 7.30 River Monsters Jeremy Wade journeys up the Congo River in Central Africa looking for the notorious Goliath Tiger Fish – a beast that preys on the unsuspecting. 8.00 The Exit List Matt Allwright presents the game show in which contestants descend into a giant 26-room maze and must try to memorise the answers to the multiple-choice questions. 9.00 The Biggest Loser Davina McCall presents the weight-loss competition. It is the last week in the house and champion boxer David Haye is on hand to bring out the contestants’ fighting spirit. They are faced with their toughest challenge yet as they head for the hills in the Brecon Beacons. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Benidorm New series of the award-winning sitcom. It is the first day of the holidays, and the Solana is in chaos, with Mateo and Les/Lesley barely able to keep control. 11.35 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents another edition of the tense game show. 12.30am The Zone: Jackpot247 3.00 Crossing Jordan 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Blood-thirsty Jacqui arrives at the McQueens to take Mercedes to task. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny Dr Christian Jessen presents the series examining issues around weight, food and body image. 9.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings Documentary series. As the eldest granddaughter of a family with both Romany Gypsy and Irish Traveller heritage, 15-year-old Santana is expected to follow strict rules. 10.00 Shameless Comedy drama series. Chesney arrives home to find his cousin Toof waiting for him. 11.05 Random Acts 11.10 Desperate Housewives Detective Vance’s suspicions about Bree’s involvement in the disappearance of Alejandro grow. 12.10am North American Poker Tour The NAPT Mohegan Sun Main Event Final 1.10 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 1.35 KOTV Boxing Weekly 2.05 Best Of British 3.00 Coral Late Night Poker 3.55 Brief Encounters Of The Sporting Mind (x2) 4.10 That Paralympic Show 4.35 Road To London 2012: Paralympics Extra 5.30 FIM World Superbikes 2012 5.55 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... Mandip Sehmi 2012 Pt II

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00 – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Mio Mao 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: NY 3.15 FILM: The Staircase Murders (2007) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 Barclays Premier League Review 12.30pm Netbusters 1.00 SPL Round-Up 1.30 Football League 3.00 Barclays Premier League Review 4.00 International Cricket 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football’s Greatest Managers 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am Revista De La Liga 1.00 LIVE ODI Cricket

6.00 Home And Away After witnessing Geoffrey King threatening Brax with a gun, Leah pays off the debt incurred by Heath. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Police Interceptors Real-life documentary series. 8.00 Apollo 13: The True Story Apollo 13 was one of the most successful films of the 1990s. Telling the story of America’s ill-fated third mission to the moon in the summer of 1970, it was nominated for nine Academy awards, winning two. But how much of the movie was fact? 9.00 Body Of Proof Crime drama series. Medical examiner Megan Hunt and her team investigate the death of a homicide detective. 10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. After armed robbers steal $5million worth of jewellery from a hotshot lawyer, the bodies of everyone who comes into contact with the gems begin turning up. 10.55 CSI Miami Crime drama series. Delko returns to the team following an extended absence, only to take on a traumatic case involving a young couple. 11.55 CSI: NY Crime drama series. Stella’s life is put in danger when her apartment catches fire. 12.55am Inside Hollywood 1.05 SuperCasino 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 HouseBusters (x2)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Soccer AM The Best Bits 10.00 LIVE Dubai Tennis Championships 2.00pm Canter Banter 2.30 Fishing Gurus 3.00 LIVE Dubai Tennis Championships 7.00 Tenpin Bowling 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Dubai Tennis Championships 12.00am British Basketball League 2.00 FIBA World Basketball

Sky Sports 2

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Nascar Sprint Cup Series 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Barclays Premier League Review 9.00 Football League 10.30 Netbusters 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics Oz Style 12.00pm Warren Miller’s Playground 1.30 Aerobics Oz Style 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 Warren Miller’s Playground 4.00 Soccer AM The Best Bits 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Football’s Greatest Managers 7.30 FIBA World Basketball 8.00 British Basketball League 10.00 Poker 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 Golfing World 2.00 Poker

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Road Wars 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Got To Dance: Live Semi-Finals 9.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 10.00 FILM: Troy (2004) 1.10am 35mm 2012 1.40 Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2)

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Junior Doctors: Your Life In Their Hands 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Pramface 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Junior Doctors: Your Life In Their Hands 1.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.30 Stop My Stutter 3.30 Young Farmer Of The Year

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World 8.30 Timothy Spall: All At Sea 9.00 How To Build A Nuclear Submarine 10.00 Natural World 10.50 Catholics 11.50 Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World 12.50am Timothy Spall: All At Sea

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Super Tiny Animals 9.00 The Vampire Diaries. See highlights. 10.00 Winners & Losers 11.00 FILM: Payback (1999) 1.00am Emmerdale

10.50am Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 Murder, She Wrote 3.15 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 George And Mildred 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Scott & Bailey 10.00 Trial And Retribution 12.10am Numb3rs

5.05pm Desperate Housewives 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 8.30 Rules Of Engagement 9.00 90210 10.00 The Cleveland Show 10.30 Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy 11.00 Bob’s Burgers 11.30 The Ricky Gervais Show 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.35pm Jamie At Home 4.10 Jamie’s 30-Minute Meals 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 Daddy Daycare 10.00 One Born Every Minute USA 11.00 The Good Wife 12.00am The Big C

11.00am My Darling Clementine (1946) 12.55pm The North Star (1943) 3.00 The Black Tent (1956) 4.50 I Was Monty’s Double (1958) 6.50 Bogus (1996) 9.00 G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009) 11.15 Hide And Seek (2005) 1.10am Pather Panchali (1955)

Every night is a Saturday night in Brighton ALL your listings at

S F 6. In OD Se Th 20 w Le Pr da Fo bl Ro fro Cl 1. To N Tw Re Le ne an th th si 20 w M an fix Se ne he Gr Sp fro th sa Ar Re

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wednesday 29 Daddy Daycare Channel 4, 8pm Politicians have known for a long time the value of including babies in your schedules, now telly companies have come to the party of that particular revelation. Amongst the many baby documentaries and shows is this doc sending prospective and actual fathers on a crash course in childcare. Not easy. Done.

Two Jews On A Cruise: A Wonderland Film BBC2, 9pm Previously featured Wonderland Hasidic Jewish couple Gaby and Tikwah are now going on their first holiday together in 40 years of marriage, and it’s a 12 day Mediterranean kosher cruise. As well as seeing the sights it also has some very special options to helping marriage and spirit along.

The Only Way Is Essex ITV2, 10pm Just say the title of the show out loud and you’ll hear a cacophony of ‘yeah’, ‘babe’ and whooping noises from the show’s theme tune in your head. It’s passed by so fast but it’s the last episode in this series meaning there might just be some kind of crescendo. Loves, businesses or family crisis? Ya get me, babe?


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 A Picture Of Health 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Doorstep Crime 999 11.30 Cowboy Trap 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Indian Doctor 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me What You’re Made Of 3.35 Wingin’ It 3.55 Deadly Art 4.15 OOglies 4.30 My Life: Star’s Incredible Journey 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 6.55 Party Political Broadcast By The Labour Party 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Food Inspectors Matt Allwright and Chris Hollins present a series following the work of food inspectors. In this first episode, Matt investigates the countrywide problem of bootleg booze. 8.00 Waterloo Road School-based drama. Lauren is convinced that her only route into a modelling career is by going under the surgeon’s knife. 9.00 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace set the contestants the challenge of cooking for three leading restaurant critics. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10.45 Kevin Bridges: What’s The Story? Kevin looks at travel and how it has inspired some of his best stand-up material. 11.15 Film 2012 With Claudia Winkleman Film news and reviews with Claudia Winkleman. 11.55 FILM: Racing For Time (2008) Starring Charles S Dutton, Yaya DaCosta. Prison drama. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.55 Upstairs Downstairs 2.55 An Island Parish 3.25 Hairy Bikers Best Of British 4.10News


6.00 – 9.20am Children’s television 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.35 Guess With Jess 9.45 Harry And Toto’s World Of Opposites 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Coast 1.40 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.10 The Weakest Link 2.55 Helicopter Heroes 3.40 Flog It! 4.25 Perfection 5.10 Antiques Road Trip 5.55 Party Political Broadcast By The Labour Party 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 My Life In Books Anne Robinson invites well-known personalities to discuss their favourite books. 7.00 Escape To The Country Jonnie Irwin travels to Yorkshire to help find a rural home for a budget of £300,000. But there is a surprise in store for today’s buyers, when one house proves too close for comfort. 7.30 Watson & Oliver Sketch show featuring Lorna Watson and Ingrid Oliver. 8.00 The Fisherman’s Apprentice With Monty Halls Cadgwith on the south coast of Cornwall is one of the last traditional fishing coves in the UK. Marine biologist Monty Halls travels down to Cadgwith to live and work as a fisherman. 9.00 Two Jews On A Cruise: A Wonderland Film See highlights. 10.00 Roger And Val Have Just Got In Sitcom. Dental problems put a very important meal in jeopardy. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Stranded! The Andes Plane Crash Survivors: Storyville Documentary in which the survivors of a famous plane crash relive their experiences 30 years later. 1.10am BBC News 4.00 E20 (x3) 5.30 Acting Around Words


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Paddy and Rhona’s evening backfires spectacularly. Debbie tries to engineer a romantic night with Cameron. Rachel is suspicious when she overhears Ashley and Sandy arguing. 7.30 International Football Live: England V Holland Adrian Chiles introduces coverage of England’s friendly against Holland at Wembley. Following Fabio Capello’s dramatic resignation earlier this month, Stuart Pearce takes charge of England for the visit of the 2010 World Cup finalists. Pearce was in the England team that famously beat Holland 4-1 at Euro 96 in the last Wembley meeting between these teams. Another victory tonight would be a significant boost for England ahead of Euro 2012. Commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.10 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.45 International Football Highlights: England V Holland Matt Smith presents highlights of England’s friendly with Holland as caretaker boss Stuart Pearce takes charge of the team in place of the departed Fabio Capello. 11.50 Kidnap And Ransom New three-part drama. 12.40am The Zone: Jackpot247 2.45 FILM: Jaws 3 (1983) 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Three In A Bed 11.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 12.00pm Channel 4 News Midday Summary 12.05 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present London 2012: David Smith Part II 12.10 Quick Bakes With Eric Lanlard 12.30 FILM: Reach For The Sky (1956) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Myra orders Mercedes to fix things with Jacqui or she will be out of the family. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Daddy Daycare See highlights. 9.00 One Born Every Minute Fly-on-the-wall documentary series filmed in a busy maternity ward. Glamorous Lithuanian mum-to-be Olga does not want her husband Victor anywhere near her during labour, instead choosing her own mother as her birth partner. 10.00 10 O’Clock Live The live comedy and current affairs show hosted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne. The show is an ever-changing mixture of topical comedy, satire & sketches. 10.55 The Mad Bad Ad Show Comedy entertainment series hosted by Mark Dolan. Repeat of last Friday’s show. 11.45 Random Acts 11.50 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 12.10am MUSIC ON 4: Black Cab Sessions 12.40 Countdown To The NME Awards 12.55 4Play: Birdy 1.05 Professor Green Unseen 1.35 Curated By Lyle And Scott 1.45 Live From Abbey Road 2.30 FILM: Sex Lives Of The Potato Men (2004) 3.55 90210 4.40 Brothers And Sisters 5.20 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 7.55 Mio Mao 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.15 FILM: Mystery Woman (2003) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Liam is suspicious when Bianca asks him to agree not to discuss their respective hen and stag parties. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Cowboy Builders Dom Littlewood and Melinda Messenger meet a south London family whose beautiful Victorian home was trashed by an unscrupulous builder. 8.00 Big Body Squad Documentary following the men and women tasked with looking after the ever-growing needs of an ever-expanding nation. 9.00 NCIS US crime drama series. The team is involved in an international incident as they investigate the murder of an American petty officer whose body was found aboard a British ship. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. Goren and Eames must contend with a dysfunctional family as they try to discover the whereabouts of a girl who was left alone in a hotel. 10.55 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. When the teenage son of Stabler’s old partner comes under suspicion for attacking a classmate, Stabler’s inability to treat this like any other case gets him suspended. 11.55 Pokerstars: The Big Game 12.55am SuperCasino 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 HouseBusters (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE ODI Cricket 9.30 Revista De La Liga 10.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Barclays Premier League Review 12.30pm Revista De La Liga 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Football’s Greatest Managers 2.30 Revista De La Liga 3.30 ODI Cricket 5.30 LIVE International Football (x2) 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00am International Football (x4)

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Barclays Premier League Review 10.00 LIVE Dubai Tennis Championships 2.00pm Kings Of The Snow 2.30 FIBA World Basketball 3.00 LIVE Dubai Tennis Championships 7.00 LIVE International Football 10.00 Inside The PGA Tour 10.30 European Tour Weekly 11.00 Dubai Tennis Championships 1.00am International Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Tenpin Bowling 9.00 British Basketball League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 World Pool Masters 2.00 Tenpin Bowling 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 LIVE International Football 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Watersports World 3.00 Netball Super League 5.00 Total Rugby

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Road Wars 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life 9.00 Brit Cops 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Mad Dogs 12.00am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2) 1.00 UK Border Force

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 10.00 FILM: Starship Troopers (1997) 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 1.45 White Van Man 2.15 Pramface 2.45 Don’t Tell The Bride 3.40 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 If Walls Could Talk: The History Of The Home 9.00 The Mrs Bradley Mysteries 10.00 Britain’s Best Drives 10.30 Lowdown 11.00 The Story Of Light Entertainment 12.30am Inspector Montalbano 2.20 Lowdown 2.50 Britain’s Best Drives

3.40pm The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Take Me Out 8.15 Take Me Out – The Gossip 9.00 Love In The Wild 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex. See highlights. 10.45 FILM: You, Me And Dupree (2006) 12.55am The Only Way Is Essex 1.40 Emmerdale

2.10pm Murder, She Wrote 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 George And Mildred 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Midsomer Murders 11.00 Wire In The Blood 1.00am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

1.20pm Scrubs (x2) 2.15 Hollyoaks 2.45 90210 3.40 Glee 4.30 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Desperate Housewives 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: The Golden Child (1986) 9.50 FILM: Elektra (2005) 11.45 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.40am Scrubs (x2)

3.40pm Jamie At Home 4.10 Jamie’s 30-Minute Meals 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 Undercover Boss 10.00 The Secret Millionaire 11.10 Educating Essex 12.10am Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

11.00am Three Faces West (1940) 12.35pm On The Town (1949) 2.30 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) 4.20 That Thing You Do! (1996) 6.25 Dreamgirls (2006) 9.00 Hairspray (2007) 11.15 Saturday Night Fever (1977) 1.30am Tony Manero (2008)


.TV Brighton & Hove wins its bid for local TV! Soon, our city will have its very own terrestrial station

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thursday 1 Location, Location, Location Channel 4, 8pm It’s always fun to have a bit of new Phil and Kirstie, indulging us in a bit of fantasy home shopping (they never show homes you’d hate to have, do they?) in Manchester and Herefordshire. These are catch up shows, so none of that comparative housing market pricing, but just as much satisfaction at the ideal home.

My Dad Is A Woman ITV1, 10.35pm With an estimated 6,000 transsexuals living in the UK, many of whom are married with children, this is not quite as much a rarity as many would have us believe. Offering up intimate access to the lives of two families, this films men within them moving closer to their dream of becoming a woman.

White Van Man BBC3, 9.30pm Sold as a format to the States already, despite them having no such term as ‘white van man’, Ollie is back with his Jack-of-alltrades sitcom. To kick-start things, Ollie suspects that Darren is moonlighting with a rival firm and so hires himself a new assistant, leaving Darren more than a smidge out of his depth.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 A Picture Of Health 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Doorstep Crime 999 11.30 Cowboy Trap 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Indian Doctor 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me What You’re Made Of 3.35 Wingin’ It 3.55 Deadly Art 4.15 OOglies 4.30 Leonardo 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show. 7.30 EastEnders Michael begins to feel resentment towards Janine for ignoring his efforts for their baby – will her attitude drive him away? 8.00 The Great British Countryside Hugh Dennis and Julia Bradbury are in the South Downs, where they discover that this gentle, rolling landscape of southern England had a dramatic ancient past. 9.00 MasterChef The heat is on for the remaining four amateur cooks as judges John Torode and Gregg Wallace take the contestants to Thailand for the masterclass of a lifetime. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs a debate on the big stories of the week from Dewsbury, with a studio audience and panel of guests. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil, with Michael Portillo, Alan Johnson and guests. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: The Cost Of Raising Britain – Panorama 12.55 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 1.40 Accused 2.40 Countryfile 3.40 BBC News


6.00 – 8.50am Children’s television 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.35 Guess With Jess 9.45 Harry And Toto’s World Of Opposites 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Animal Park 1.30 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 My Life In Books Anne Robinson is joined by lyricist Tim Rice and Strictly star Russell Grant. Tim reveals what his next musical venture is going to be. 7.00 Top Gear Motoring show. Jeremy Clarkson and James May pay tribute to quirky and recently deceased Swedish car maker Saab. 8.00 Raymond Blanc: The Very Hungry Frenchman In the final episode, the chef heads to the sun soaked beaches of Provence. 9.00 Children Of The Tsunami On March 11th 2011 Japan was hit by the greatest tsunami in a thousand years. Through compelling testimony from 7-10 year-old survivors, this film reveals how the deadly wave and the Fukushima nuclear accident have changed children’s lives forever. 10.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain, Chris Addison, Hugh Dennis and Andy Parsons look back over another week’s news with guests Greg Davies, Simon Evans and Micky Flanagan. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 On Hannibal’s Trail Series in which three Australian brothers – Danny, Ben and Sam Wood – cycle on the trail of Hannibal. 11.50 On Hannibal’s Trail 12.20am The Tube 1.20 BBC News 4.00 E20 (x2) 5.00 Strictly Soulmates 5.30 How To Write


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Three In A Bed 11.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 12.00pm Channel 4 News Midday Summary 12.05 Quick Bakes With Eric Lanlard 12.20 The Fabulous Baker Brothers 12.50 FILM: Hellfighters (1969) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie is terrified that she is losing Cameron. 7.30 Public V Private Sector – Who Wins?: Tonight The public and private sectors have long regarded each other with suspicion, both imagining that the grass is greener on the other side. But in this age of austerity, who gets the best deal? 8.00 Emmerdale Chas convinces Cameron to stay with Debbie. Pollard has a meltdown at the B&B, finally admitting that he misses Val. 8.30 Coronation Street Can Carla resist an offer that seems too good to be true? Anne’s interfering leads to an angry altercation with Frank. 9.00 Kidnap And Ransom Second in a three-part drama. Dominic King tries to get the hostages released before anyone discovers that the British Foreign Secretary’s daughter, Flo, is on board the coach. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 My Dad Is A Woman See highlights. 11.35 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan welcomes another star-studded and eclectic line-up to the show. 12.35am Take Me Out 1.35 The Zone: Jackpot247 3.00 Public V Private Sector - Who Wins?: Tonight 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mitzeee tries to persuade Mercedes to get out of Riley’s life, but Mercy begs Riley to take her back. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Location, Location, Location See highlights. 9.00 Make Bradford British Twopart series exploring what it means to be British, uniting residents of Bradford from different races and backgrounds to see if they can come up with a definitive answer. Over 100 people from across the city were invited to sit the Government‘s own UK Citizenship Test and the eight people who scored the lowest marks - including a pub landlady and a former magistrate - have now been invited to live together. 10.00 Our Man In... Ibiza British consulates in some of Spain’s busiest resorts open their doors to TV cameras for the first time. 11.05 Coppers Hard-hitting documentary series which provides a rare insight into the realities of policing modern Britain. 12.10am Random Acts 12.15 Proud And Prejudiced 1.15 Soft 1.30 The World’s Most Identical Twins And Me 2.25 Slow Joe 2.30 The Bible: A History 3.25 Time Team 4.20 Atlantic 4.30 Brothers And Sisters 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Sali Mali

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 7.55 Mio Mao 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.15 FILM: Accused At 17 (2009) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ruby moves into the caravan park and blanks anyone who tries to help her. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Holiday Heaven On Earth Travel series presented by Emma Wilson and Darren Kennedy. 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn focuses on the science and technology behind satellite navigation, and the mass production of aluminium. 8.00 The Da Vinci Shroud – Revealed Historical documentary series. For centuries, the Turin shroud was believed to be the cloth that was placed on the body of Christ, until carbon-dating exposed it as a medieval fake in 1988. However, scientists continue to explore how the image of a man was scorched onto the fabric. 9.00 FILM: The Transporter (2002) Starring Jason Statham, Qi Shu, Matt Schulzed. High-octane action thriller in which a former Special Forces operative finds his life in great danger when he breaks the golden rule of his ask-no-questions job. 10.55 Ultimate Police Interceptors Highlights of the documentary series following elite police pursuit units. 11.55 Inside Hollywood The latest film and TV news from the USA. 12.05am SuperCasino 3.55 House Doctor 4.20 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 HouseBusters (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 International Football (x2) 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 International Football (x2) 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 Hyundai A League 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Ringside 7.00 LIVE Premier League Darts 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00am Ringside 1.00 Time Of Our Lives 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 3.00 LIVE International Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 European Tour Weekly 8.30 Inside The PGA Tour 9.00 Boots ‘n’ All 10.00 LIVE Dubai Tennis Championships 2.00pm European Tour Weekly 2.30 Inside The PGA Tour 3.00 LIVE Dubai Tennis Championships 7.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Dubai Tennis Championships 12.00am The Rugby Club 1.00 Darts: Premier League

Sky Sports 3 9.30am Total Rugby 10.00 Bowls 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Bowls 4.00 Trans World Sport 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 6.30 Racemax 7.30 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 WWE Late Night Raw 1.00am WWE NXT 2.00 PGA Tour Golf

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Road Wars 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists 6.30 The Gleekly 7.00 The Middle 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 Hawaii Five-0 9.00 Glee 10.00 House 11.00 Stella 12.00am NCIS: LA 1.00 Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2) 1.55 UK Border Force

7.00pm Junior Doctors: Your Life In Their Hands 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Pramface 9.30 White Van Man. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Pramface 1.00 White Van Man

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1977 8.00 Woof! A Horizon Guide To Dogs 9.00 Catholics 10.00 The Singing Detective 11.00 Natural World (x2) 12.40am Top Of The Pops: 1977 1.20 Woof! A Horizon Guide To Dogs 2.20 How To Build A Nuclear Submarine 3.20 Catholics

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 8.00 American Idol: SemiFinalists Perform Part 1 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.45 FILM: The Nutty Professor (1996) 12.45am Coronation Street 1.15 Emmerdale (x2)

1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 Murder, She Wrote 3.15 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 George And Mildred 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Those Who Kill 11.55 FILM: Shakespeare In Love (1998) 2.05am ITV3 Nightscreen

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 Rules Of Engagement 9.00 How I Met Your Mother 9.30 Happy Endings 10.00 Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy 10.30 Phoneshop (x2) 11.40 Pete Versus Life 12.15am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.40pm Jamie At Home 4.10 Jamie’s 30-Minute Meals 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 The Big C 10.35 Saving Grace 11.30 Shameless 12.30am Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

11.00am The Mistress Of Spices (2005) 12.50pm Beau Brummell (1954) 3.00 Danger Within (1960) 5.00 Roseland (1977) 7.05 The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007) 9.00 What Happens In Vegas (2008) 10.55 A Prophet (2008) 1.50am Hamlet (2000)



Brighton Lights 37

The strangest interview Fatboy Slim has ever done? What do you think? Watch it now at

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friday 2 Mastermind BBC2, 8pm & 8.30pm Heaps of fun with the original quiz show that heaped kudos on to you for winning before we even thought about massive cash prizes. John Humphreys hosts four more contenders in each game, with specialist subjects ranging from the sitcom Porridge to pop music of the 1980s and Queen Victoria’s family. Bonza.

Castle Channel Five, 10pm The author is needling his New York detective ‘partner’ again, on the hunt for inspiration for his books (never mind what the family of the bereaved might think, eh?). This week they’re really taking it seriously – Castle and Beckett race Ryan and Esposito to see who can solve the murder the fastest. Marks...

Russell Howard’s Good News BBC3, 9pm & 9.30pm Ever get the feeling that sometimes these topical comedy programmes aren’t quite so topical? The fact that there is one straight after the other implies this may just be a repeat, but Howard’s good news and good attitude should still amuse, as he digs out the sunnier side of life.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 A Picture Of Health 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Doorstep Crime 999 11.30 Cowboy Trap 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Indian Doctor 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me What You’re Made Of 3.35 Wingin’ It 3.55 Deadly Art 4.15 OOglies 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 – 8.50am Children’s television 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.35 Guess With Jess 9.45 Harry And Toto’s World Of Opposites 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Animal Park 1.30 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Helicopter Heroes 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 My Life In Books Anne Robinson is joined by poet Pam Ayres and actor Don Warrington, who pick their favourite books and discuss why they have been important to them throughout their lives. 7.00 The Culture Show Andrew Graham-Dixon tells us what intrigues him about flamboyant Victorian architect and designer Augustus Pugin who celebrates his 200th anniversary this year; Mark Kermode celebrates Spanish and Latin American cinema, and Tim Samuels meets the men behind satirical news website -The Daily Mash. 8.00 Mastermind See highlights. 8.30 Mastermind See highlights. 9.00 Melvyn Bragg On Class And Culture Melvyn continues his exploration with the grim but settled austerity years following the Second World War – and the surge of energy which transformed our perceptions of culture and class. 10.00 QI A compilation of some of the best bits from the ninth series. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 The Review Show Kirsty Wark and her panel review White Heat, the new BBC drama series. 11.50 FILM: Hard Candy (2006) Starring Patrick Wilson, Ellen Page, Sandra Oh. Psychological thriller. 1.30am Culture Show 2.30 News

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Three In A Bed 11.00 A Place In The Sun: Winter Sun 12.00pm Channel 4 News Midday Summary 12.05 Quick Bakes With Eric Lanlard 12.30 FILM: Objective, Burma! (1945) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie struggles to cover her heartache over Cameron. 7.30 Coronation Street Anne delivers Sally a devastating blow. 8.00 Safari Vet School At the neighbouring Shamwari Game Reserve, the students prepare to capture of a herd of eland, and Michael is given the most dangerous job – driving the animals onto the waiting trailer. 8.30 Coronation Street Carla plans a new start for the sake of her relationship. 9.00 Benidorm New manager Joyce organises a dance competition for the guests and everyone is eager to take part. Rehearsals are supervised by her old flame Cyril Babcock, an ageing playboy whose impatience with the talentless contestants leads to a dance-off with Mateo. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Lethal Weapon (1987) Starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Mitchell Ryan. All-action crime thriller in which a disturbed undercover cop recovering from his wife’s death is teamed up with a detective with a stable family background to crack an underground drug ring. Hey Mo! 12.35am The Zone: Jackpot247 2.40 FILM: Half Light (2006) 4.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Jacqui is suspicious over Mercedes’ motives for wanting Riley back. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 7.35 Come Dine With Me Cookery-based reality show. On the Costa del Sol, fun-loving Welsh emigre Kate Forrest faces gardening guru Ben Knight, bus driver and friend to the famous Tony Reddin and straight-talking Marilyn Bevins. 8.30 New Girl US flatshare sitcom. Jess worries when Paul surprises her with a thoughtful and lavish Christmas gift, as she has only bought him a soft toy. 9.00 The Bank Job George Lamb hosts a game show in which players have the chance to carry out the ultimate heist. 10.00 The Mad Bad Ad Show Comedy series hosted by Mark Dolan. The ads are themed around toys and the guests are comedians Sean Lock and Miles Jupp. 10.50 Rude Tube Alex Zane presents the funniest, strangest and most outrageous clips from the internet. 11.50 10 O’Clock Live Repeat of yesterday’s show. 12.45am FILM: Election (2005) 2.25 Random Acts 2.30 My Name Is Earl (x2) 3.15 Hung (x2) 4.10 The Lobster Club 4.20 Brothers And Sisters 5.00 Paraphernalia 5.15 Countdown

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.10 FILM: Perfect Romance (2004) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Harvey’s first move after winning the council election is to delay the resort development. With huge financial investments at risk, John and Dennis are ready to kill him, or so Romeo fears when he overhears their conversation. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Royal Navy: Caribbean Patrol This exciting documentary series follows Royal Navy warship HMS Manchester on her final deployment – a seven-month tour of duty hunting drug smugglers in the Caribbean. 8.00 Eddie Stobart: Trucks And Trailers Observational documentary series focusing on the iconic transport and distribution company. 9.00 The Mentalist Crime drama. The team investigates the murder of an unpopular lawyer. Meanwhile Darcy interrogates Jane regarding Red John’s involvement in a murder. Like you’ll get a straight answer there 10.00 Castle See highlights. 10.55 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. A fertility doctor comes under suspicion when his brother is murdered at the medical practice they ran together. 11.55 Inside Hollywood The latest film and TV news from the USA. 12.05am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 HouseBusters (x2)

6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 The Rugby Club 12.30pm Barclays Premier League World 1.00 Ringside 2.00 The Rugby Club 3.00 International Cricket 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Football League Weekend 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 Take It Like A Fan 10.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.00 Football League Weekend 12.00am Take It Like A Fan 12.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 1.00 LIVE ODI Cricket

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show. 8.00 EastEnders Lucy watches with glee as Mandy struggles to deal with a visitor from her past. 8.30 Room 101 Frank Skinner invites actor Larry Lamb, presenter Lauren Laverne and comedian David O’Doherty to the show in which they compete to have their pet hates and peeves consigned to Room 101. 9.00 New Tricks Drama. UCOS pursue a serial rapist when a recent assault at a bakery is linked to two attacks at a chocolate factory ten years previously. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Joining Graham on his sofa are actor John Cusack, talking about his new film The Raven; Hollywood star Goldie Hawn; and Kasabian, performing the single ‘Goodbye Kiss’. 11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.30 FILM: The Haunting (1999) Starring Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Owen Wilson, Lili Taylor. Psychological horror. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Question Time 2.20 Bees, Butterflies And Blooms 3.20 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.05 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 The Rugby Club 10.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00pm Kings Of The Snow 12.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 1.00 LIVE Dubai Tennis Championships 5.00 Road To London 5.30 International Cricket 7.30 LIVE Football League Championship 10.00 Dubai Tennis Championships 12.00am Super League 2.00 Take It Like A Fan 2.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 3.00 Football League Weekend 4.00 Dubai Tennis Championships

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Ringside 10.00 LIVE Super League’s Supermen 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics Oz Style 12.00pm Netball Super League 2.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 LIVE Super League’s Supermen 5.00 LIVE Super 15 Rugby 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Tight Lines 12.00am Super 15 Rugby 2.00 PGA Tour Golf 5.00 Kings Of The Snow 5.30 Road To London

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Road Wars 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 The Middle 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Raising Hope 9.00 Stella 10.00 Glee 11.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 12.00am A League Of Their Own

7.00pm Doctor Who (x2) 8.30 The Real Hustle: Celebrity Chancers 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2). See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 White Van Man 11.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.50 American Dad! (x2) 1.30 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Symphony 8.30 Transatlantic Sessions 9.00 The Joy Of Disco 10.00 Disco At The BBC 11.00 Queens Of Disco 12.00am The Joy Of Disco 1.00 Disco At The BBC 2.00 Queens Of Disco 3.00 Transatlantic Sessions 3.30 Symphony

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Love In The Wild 8.00 American Idol: Semi-Finalists Perform Part 2 10.00 American Idol: Results And Wild Card 12.00am The Only Way Is Essex (x2)

1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 Murder, She Wrote 3.15 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 George And Mildred 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 7.55 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Taggart 10.00 Marchlands 11.05 FILM: Tea With Mussolini (1999) 1.20am Kavanagh QC

12.25pm Greek 1.20 Scrubs (x2) 2.15 Hollyoaks 2.50 90210 3.40 Glee 4.30 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Desperate Housewives 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Supernanny US 9.00 FILM: I, Robot (2004) 11.10 Playing It Straight 12.15am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

4.40pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 Relocation: Phil Down Under 10.00 Country House Rescue 11.05 FILM: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004) 1.15am Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

11.00am The Big Trees (1952) 12.45pm The Million Pound Note (1954) 2.30 I Was Monty’s Double (1958) 4.30 Cloak And Dagger (1946) 6.40 The Golden Compass (2007) 9.00 X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) 11.05 Watchmen (2009) 2.10am Brothers Of The Head (2005)



Brighton Lights 37..

Julie Ayres of The Sussex Beacon steps things up a gear for the Brighton Half Marathon

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saturday 3 Let’s Dance For Sport Relief BBC1, 7pm Who will follow in comic Terry Alderton’s high heeled footsteps and win a place in the final? This week those hot-stepping it out are Omid Djalili, Arabella Weir, DJ Scott Mills, Olly Murs, Outnumbered’s Tyger DrewHoney and CBBC’s Dani Harmer. Hold your sides to laugh out loud.

I’m In A Girl Group! BBC2, 9.20pm No! I’m In A Girl Group! Wouldn’t it be great if this was a Spartacus pastiche resulting in the world’s largest (and loudest) girl group? It’s not. It’s actually an intriguing documentary exploring all sides of what it’s like to be in a girl group, including interviews with Sister Sledge, Spice Girls, Girls Aloud, The Bangles and more.

Rosemary And Thyme ITV3, 7pm Felicity Kendal and Pam Ferris star as the gardening crimesolving duo, gently re-assuring that even if there is a body at the bottom of the garden the primroses are set to put on a fine display this spring. Investigating wilting roses at a prep school, the pair find themselves caught up in ritual and murder. Of course.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 British Olympic Dreams 1.30 Swimming: British Trials 2.00 FILM: The Haunted Mansion (2003) 3.20 Winter Wipeout 4.20 Final Score 5.15 A Question Of Sport 5.45 BBC News

6.00 South East Today 6.05 Pointless Celebrities Celebrities test the depths of their general knowledge in this special edition of the quiz, with Brian Blessed and Anthea Turner among the stars trying to come up with the answers no-one else could think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman. 7.00 Let’s Dance For Sport Relief See highlights. 8.20 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins Nick Knowles hosts the National Lottery quiz. 9.10 Casualty Hospital drama. In the first of a three episode story, a five year old boy is accidentally caught in the crossfire in a drugs shooting. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights of seven Premier League games, including the match between Liverpool and Arsenal at Anfield. Both sides have endured inconsistent campaigns so far, but will be desperate to secure a top-four finish and Champions League qualification. Liverpool won the reverse fixture 2-0 at the Emirates Stadium, but Kenny Dalglish’s side have struggled to win home games on a regular basis this season. 11.40 The Football League Show Highlights and analysis from the Football League. 12.55am Weatherview 1.00 News


6.00am Children’s television 7.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 7.30 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.05 Pixelface 8.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 9.00 Ultimate Sports Day 9.30 Helen’s Polar Challenge For Sport Relief 10.00 My Life: Star’s Incredible Journey 10.30 Trapped 11.00 Hacker Time 11.25 The Ministry Of Curious Stuff 12.00pm MOTD Kickabout 12.15 FILM: The Fox And The Child (2007) 1.45 FILM: McLintock! (1963) 3.50 Birds Britannia 4.50 Escape To The Country 5.50 Flog It! 6.50 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Captain Mainwaring and the platoon spend the weekend at a training camp. 7.20 The Story Of Light Entertainment Stephen Fry narrates a series tracing the roots of light entertainment, from variety to Strictly Come Dancing and all points in between. This edition looks at the all-round entertainers who originally came from the Victorian music hall tradition. 8.20 The Story Of Musicals Series which tells how the British musical became a driving force behind musical theatre around the world. This episode charts how British musical talent in the 1980s stormed the West End with hits like Cats, Les Miserables, Blood Brothers and Phantom of the Opera. With contributions from Andrew Lloyd Webber, Cameron Mackintosh, Tim Rice, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Trevor Nunn, Cliff Richard, Elaine Paige, Paul Nicholas, Bonnie Langford, Richard Stilgoe, Willy Russell and others. 9.20 I’m In A Girl Group! See highlights. 10.20 TOTP 2: Girl Groups Prepare to be Spiced and Bananarama’d. 11.20 FILM: Son Of Rambow (2007) Starring Bill Milner, Will Poulter, Jessica Stevenson, Neil Dudgeon. Touching comedy set in in 1980s. 12.50am FILM: Factotum (2005)


6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Spider-Man 7.50 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.05 Almost Naked Animals 8.20 Almost Naked Animals 8.30 Hannah Montana 9.00 Fort Boyard - Ultimate Challenge 9.25 ITV News 9.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 10.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11.20 This Morning: Saturday 12.20pm Murder, She Wrote 1.20 ITV News & Weather 1.30 FILM: The Jewel Of The Nile (1985) 3.30 FILM: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (2005) 5.35 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News & Weather 6.05 All Star Family Fortunes This episode is a soap special in which Coronation Street’s Brooke Vincent and Emmerdale’s Rik Makarem go head to head to bag up to £30,000 for their chosen good cause. 7.05 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill presents more of viewers’ hilarious home footage. 7.35 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry Hill presents another weekly dose of hilarious clips, ingenious quips and silly sketches from this week’s telly. 8.05 Take Me Out Paddy McGuinness tempts his 30 single ladies with some more possible hot dates, including a cash machine engineer, a sales manager, and a football coach. Whe-hey! 9.20 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan’s guests this week include soul legend Lionel Richie, Michael Ball and Imelda Staunton from stage musical Sweeney Todd, and Rihanna, who also performs. 10.20 ITV News; Weather 10.35 FILM: Wanted (2008) Starring James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie. Action-packed thriller. Wesley Gibson is frustrated with his boring life. Everything changes when a sexy and dangerous woman named Fox walks into his life to tell Wesley that his father was an assassin. 12.35am The Zone: Jackpot247 3.00 In Plain Sight 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 Road To London 2012: Paralympics Extra 7.30 FIM Superbike World Championship 7.55 The Morning Line 8.55 Everyone’s Talking About... Top 10 9.25 T4 At NME Awards 2012 10.00 Playing It Straight 11.00 New Girl 11.30 The Simpsons 12.00pm Charlie’s Angels 1.00 The Big Bang Theory 1.30 The Big Bang Theory 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.35 Come Dine With Me 6.10 Come Dine With Me The cookery-based reality show meets the ultimate dinner party. In Hertfordshire, Mel Steel serves a mix of French and Caribbean dishes. 6.40 Channel 4 News 7.10 7.15 Obsessive Compulsive Hoarder Documentary about Surrey resident Richard Wallace, arguably the UK’s most extreme hoarder. 8.10 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings Documentary series looking at the world of 21st-century Gypsies and Travellers through the prism of weddings, christenings and celebratory events. Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 9.10 The Bank Job George Lamb hosts a game show in which players have the chance to carry out the ultimate heist. 10.10 FILM: The Happening (2008) Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Ashlyn Sanchez and Betty Buckley. Horror about a mysterious and invisible neurotoxin that begins to infect the American population, causing them to commit suicide en masse. 11.55 NME Awards 2012 Comedian Jack Whitehall introduces the music awards ceremony. 1.25am FILM: Melinda And Melinda (2004) 3.05 Blowing It 3.10 Brothers And Sisters 3.55 Reaper 4.40 90210 5.20 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.20am Children’s television 7.20 Family! 7.30 Make Way For Noddy 7.45 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 7.55 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 Europe’s Super Port: Megastructures 11.00 Royal Navy: Caribbean Patrol 12.00pm FILM: The Dirty Dozen (1967) 2.50 FILM: Capricorn One (1978) 5.15 FILM: Hell Boats (1970) 7.00 5 News Weekend 7.05 NCIS Crime drama series. The death of a boxer leads Vance to borrow the NCIS team and start investigating the fighter’s death, while Gibbs digs into Vance’s past. 8.00 NCIS US crime drama series. The team is involved in an international incident as they investigate the murder of an American petty officer whose body was found aboard a British ship. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. The team must ascertain whether a fatal rollercoaster accident was deliberate, while Warrick and Catherine investigate the murder of a 13-year-old girl. 10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama. An initiation into a student fraternity house turns deadly when a scavenger hunt through the city’s cemeteries leaves one boy dead and another missing. 11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series. Benson and Stabler become involved in a complex case surrounding a baby with AIDS. 11.50 Inside Hollywood The latest film and TV news from the USA. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Nick’s Quest (x2) 4.50 County Secrets 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE ODI Cricket 9.30 Ashes Memories: Dazzling Darren 10.00 Ringside 11.00 Super League 1.00pm ODI Cricket 3.00 LIVE Dubai Tennis Championships 5.00 Take It Like A Fan 5.30 LIVE Super League 8.00 LIVE Fight Night 11.30 Super League 1.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 Fight Night International 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Take It Like A Fan

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Ford Football Special 3.15 America’s Cup Uncovered 3.45 Sky Sports Classics 4.00 Max Power 5.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x3) 2.45 Sky Sports Classics 3.00 LIVE International Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Super League 9.00 WWE Smackdown 11.00 WWE The Bottom Line 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 2.30 Road To London 3.00 WWE Smackdown 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Dubai Tennis Championship 1.00am Spanish Football 2.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 3.00 Dubai Tennis Championship 5.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 5.30 Road To London

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm 35mm 2012 12.30 Got To Dance: Auditions Uncut (x5) 3.00 Got To Dance: Live SemiFinals (x2) 6.00 Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 7.00 Gadget Geeks 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 Cop Squad 10.00 FILM: Out For Justice (1991) 11.45 Miami SWAT 12.45am Ultimate Road Wars 1.45 The Real A&E

7.00pm Doctor Who (x2) 8.30 Top Gear 9.30 Live At The Apollo 10.00 FILM: Starship Troopers (1997) 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 American Dad! (x2) 1.30 Pramface 2.00 White Van Man 2.30 FILM: Alien Autopsy (2006) 4.00 Live At The Apollo 4.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 5.00 Pramface

7.00pm Decisive Weapons (x2) 8.00 Sicily Unpacked 9.00 Inspector Montalbano 10.45 Bee Gees: In Our Own Time 12.20am TOTP 2 Goes Disco! 1.50 Top Of The Pops: 1977 2.25 Sicily Unpacked 3.25 Decisive Weapons (x2)

1.00pm Love In The Wild 2.00 The Biggest Loser 3.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 3.25 American Idol: Semi-Finalists Perform (x2) 7.10 FILM: Batteries Not Included (1987) 9.20 Take Me Out – The Gossip 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.45 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 1.20am Harry Hill’s TV Burp

10.35am Goodnight Mister Tom 12.40pm Hidden Treasure 2.45 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 Life With Judy Garland – Me And My Shadows 7.00 Rosemary And Thyme. See highlights. 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.00 Those Who Kill 12.55am Wycliffe 1.50 Drama Trails

12.00pm Supernanny US (x2) 1.50 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.25 Perfect Couples 4.50 Scrubs (x2) 5.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 6.45 Happy Endings 7.10 How I Met Your Mother 7.40 Rules Of Engagement (x2) 8.40 The Big Bang Theory 9.10 FILM: Independence Day (1996) 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

12.10pm FILM: Carry On Spying (1964) 1.55 River Cottage Bites 2.05 Coach Trip (x5) 4.50 Grand Designs (x2) 7.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain 8.05 Location, Location, Location (x2) 10.15 FILM: Elizabeth (1998) 12.40am The Real King’s Speech 1.45 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain

11.00am Broken Lance (1954) 1.00pm One Fine Day (1996) 3.10 Son Of The Mask (2005) 5.00 Cutthroat Island (1995) 7.20 Hot Shots! (1991) 9.00 Adrift (2006) 10.45 F (2010) 12.20am The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) 2.15 Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

“There was a great gig last night.” “No, it was rubbish!” The verdict’s out at

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sunday 4 Dancing On Ice ITV1, 6.35pm Alright, so they’ve gotten pretty good now on the old slippy cold stuff and there’s only six stars left making thier bid for national adoration and a grace that would make a swan green with envy. So, of course, this week there has to be an extra challenge. Torvill and Dean do their best to guide them through the turmoil.

Homeland Channel 4, 9pm Carrie Mathison, aka Claire Danes, is what you might call ‘single-minded’. Well, she has to be to get past that icky feeling when watching the Brody couple’s awkward intimacies. Ick. Meanwhile, her mole in the Prince’s entourage is assassinated, again avoiding any feelgood on Carrie’s part.

Being Human BBC3, 9pm It’s easy to think that just because you’re a vampire, a werewolf or a ghost that regular everyday problems don’t ever raise their heads. Wrong! Teenage vampire Adam is back, this time with his schoolmistress lover, and they’re on the run from a scandalised press. He’s only a hundred and something, really!


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Bargain Hunt 11.30 Sunday Politics 12.30pm Match Of The Day Live: Cardiff City V West Ham United 2.45 Six Nations: France V Ireland 5.10 Songs Of Praise 5.45 Land Girls

6.35 BBC News 6.50 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile 8.00 Antiques Roadshow A return visit to Lulworth Castle in Dorset finds Fiona Bruce and the experts on another busy day of valuations. 9.00 Upstairs Downstairs Period drama series. Blanche comes face to face with her former lover when a scandalous novel is published and, when the passion between the pair reignites, begins to consider a life away from Eaton Place. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Room 101 – Extra Storage Extended edition of Room 101. Frank Skinner invites actor Larry Lamb, presenter Lauren Laverne and comedian David O’Doherty to the show ito reveal their pet hates. 11.05 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon returns to the host’s chair for the fourth series of the comedy panel show. David Mitchell is joined by Keeley Hawes and Stephen Mangan, while Lee Mack is joined by Kevin Bridges and Professor Brian Cox OBE. 11.35 The Sky At Night Amateur astronomers are scanning the night skies. 12.15am The Celebrity Apprentice USA 1.40 Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: Film 2012 With Claudia Winkleman 2.25 Holby City 3.25 The Borrowers 4.55 BBC News


6.00am Little Robots 6.10 Zigby 6.20 Garth And Bev 6.35 Octonauts 6.45 Pinky Dinky Doo 7.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 7.30 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Scooby-Doo Show 8.05 Paradise Cafe 8.30 Wingin’ It 9.00 Friday Download 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.30pm EastEnders 2.20 FILM: Hidalgo (2004) 4.25 FILM: Death Defying Acts (2007)

6.00 I’m In A Girl Group! Another chance to catch yesterday’s documentary. 7.00 World’s Most Dangerous Roads World’s Most Dangerous Roads. They jump out and pounce. A bit like trolls. That may be a lie. 8.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine with Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond, including road tests, news and features. Anda lot of bravado and sweeping statements. Pots of those. 9.00 Orbit: Earth’s Extraordinary Journey Orbit: Earth’s Extraordinary Journey. How do we go around without getting dizzy? Where exactly do we go? Do we travel the precise same path each time? Lots really. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Colin Murray presents highlights of the day’s three Premier League games, including the crucial match between Tottenham and Manchester United at White Hart Lane. The reigning champions beat Spurs 3-0 back in August, but Harry Redknapp’s side have recovered to mount a sustained title challenge. Wolves head south to face Fulham at Craven Cottage, where they have not won a top-flight fixture since 1967, and the day’s early kick-off sees high-flying Newcastle play in-form Sunderland. 11.15 QPR: The Four Year Plan QPR: The Four Year Plan. 12.45am BBC News


6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Olly The Little White Van 7.05 Olly The Little White Van 7.10 Tati’s Hotel 7.25 Monk 7.30 Spider-Man 7.50 Fleabag Monkeyface 8.05 Horrid Henry 8.20 Horrid Henry 8.30 Big Time Rush 9.00 My Phone Genie 9.25 ITV News 9.30 Ade In Britain 10.30 May The Best House Win 11.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 12.30pm ITV News & Weather 12.35 Murder, She Wrote 1.40 Columbo Cries Wolf 3.40 Midsomer Murders 5.35 Meridian News And Weather 5.50 ITV News & Weather 6.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Another chance to catch yesterday show. 6.35 Dancing On Ice See highlights. 8.30 Wild At Heart Drama series set on a South African nature reserve. The family are in financial trouble after the loss of their funding, and Ed comes up with a plan to secure the vet contract for a horse-breeding stable. After a trial, they are offered a contract, but it is not long before disaster strikes. 9.30 Dancing On Ice: The SkateOff Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley reveal which two celebrities must perform again in the skate-off. 10.00 That Sunday Night Show Last in series. Adrian Chiles rounds up the big events and news stories of the week alongside regular panellist Frank Skinner and guests Denise Van Outen and Des O’Connor. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 Whitechapel The detective drama set in London’s East End continues with the first of a two-part story. When a babysitter is murdered and a dangerous patient and former Whitechapel resident escapes from a psychiatric unit, the area is hit by a series of terrifying events. 11.45 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership Craig Doyle and Martin Bayfield present a weekend’s action. 12.35am The Zone: Jackpot247 2.35 River Monsters 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.05am Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... 2012: Helen Turner 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 That Paralympic Show 7.30 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 7.55 Sainsbury’s And Channel 4 Present... Hannah Cockroft 2012 Pt II 8.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 10.35 The Big Bang Theory 11.10 The Simpsons 11.45 The Simpsons 12.20pm FILM: Alaska (1996) 2.35 FILM: Alvin And The Chipmunks (2007) 4.20 Deal Or No Deal 5.20 Time Team 6.25 Channel 4 News 6.55 7.00 The Political Slot 7.05 Home Of The Future Reality series with a twist, as an ordinary family from Sheffield have their home gutted and remade as a home of the future. The Pereras face up to the food of the future, with mum Michele tackling the latest gadgets which are making the move from restaurants to home kitchens. 8.00 Warhorse: The Real Story Documentary telling the story of the million British horses that served in World War I, beginning with the mass call-up of horses from every farm and estate in the country. 9.00 Homeland See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Inglourious Basterds (2009) Starring Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, Diane Kruger, Melanie Laurent, Eli Roth, Michael Fassbender, Mike Myers, Daniel Bruhl and Melanie Laurent. World War II thriller set in Nazi-occupied France, where a US lieutenant leads the Basterds, a notorious gang of cutthroat Jewish soldiers, in a brutal vendetta mission against the Nazis. Meanwhile, a young Jewish refugee plans her own vengeance against the Nazis after the murder of her family. 1.00am FILM: The Machinist (2004) 2.45 The Astronomer’s Sun 2.55 The Big Bang Theory (x3) 4.00 Reaper 4.40 90210 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.25am Children’s television 7.25 Family! 7.35 Make Way For Noddy 7.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.00 Little Princess 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 Animal Rescue Squad 10.15 Grey’s Anatomy 11.15 Cowboy Builders 12.15pm FILM: D.A.R.Y.L. (1985) 2.10 FILM: Dragonslayer (1981) 4.15 FILM: Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) 6.10 FILM: The Da Vinci Code (2006) Starring Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Alfred Molina, Jean Reno and Paul Bettany. Drama based on the bestselling novel by Dan Brown. An American researcher and a beautiful French cryptologist unravel clues hidden in famous works of art and mythical locations to reveal one of Christianity’s darkest secrets. At the same time, they must avoid the police and escape the clutches of the secretive upper echelons of the Church. 8.55 5 News 9.00 Ultimate Police Interceptors Highlights of the documentary series following expert high-speed police chase teams. 10.00 FILM: The Exorcism Of Emily Rose (2005) Starring Laura Linney, Tom Wilkinson, Campbell Scott, Jennifer Carpenter and Colm Feore. Supernatural thriller. A priest is accused of manslaughter after performing an exorcism which results in the death of a disturbed young woman. The battle between science and religion is played out in the ensuing court case. 12.15am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.15 SuperCasino 3.50 County Secrets 4.05 The FBI Files 4.50 County Secrets 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Football First Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.30 Ford Football Special 12.00am Football’s Greatest Managers 12.30 Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 4.00 Spanish Football 5.30 Football’s Greatest Managers

Sky Sports 2 11.30am Ashes Memories Waugh Time 12.00pm Seamaster Sailing 12.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby 3.00 International Cricket 5.00 Seamaster Sailing 5.30 WWE Experience 6.30 Premiership Rugby 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Super League Full Time 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00am This Week In WWE 12.30 WWE Vintage Collection 1.30 Premiership Rugby

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Road To London 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE Vintage Collection 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 Fight Night International 1.30pm This Week In WWE 2.00 Seamaster Sailing 2.30 Fight Night International 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 International Cricket 1.00am Watersports World 2.00 Seamaster Sailing

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm The Simpsons 12.30 Got To Dance: Live Semi-Finals (x2) 3.30 Got To Dance: Meet The Finalists (x5) 6.00 Got To Dance: Live Final (x2) 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Hawaii Five-0 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 House 12.00am Spartacus: Vengeance 1.15 Road Wars 1.45 The Real A&E 2.40 Ultimate Road Wars

7.00pm Let’s Dance For Sport Relief 8.00 The Secrets Of Everything (x2) 9.00 Being Human. See highlights. 10.00 Pramface 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 American Dad! (x2) 12.00am White Van Man 12.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 1.30 Being Human 2.25 The Secrets Of Everything (x2)

7.00pm Doris Day: A Sentimental Journey 8.00 One Man And His Dog 9.00 The Golden Age Of Canals 10.00 FILM: Rapt (2008) 12.00am The Joy Of Disco 1.00 Disco At The BBC 2.00 Bee Gees: In Our Own Time

12.50pm American Idol: Results And Wild Card 2.40 All Star Family Fortunes 3.20 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 4.50 FILM: The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (2008) 7.00 FILM: Richie Rich (1994) 9.00 Benidorm 10.00 FILM: Ocean’s Twelve (2004) 12.30am American Idol: Semi-Finalists Perform (x2)

9.00am Heartbeat (x2) 11.05 Life With Judy Garland - Me And My Shadows 1.05pm Jane Eyre 3.15 On The Buses (x2) 4.20 FILM: March Of The Penguins (2005) 6.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.05 Cracker 12.15am Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 2.55 Drama Trails

9.55am Supersize Vs Superskinny (x2) 12.00pm Supernanny US (x2) 1.50 Privileged 2.40 Make It Or Break It (x2) 4.35 Samantha Who? 5.05 Being Erica 6.05 90210 7.00 FILM: The Golden Child (1986) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Skins 12.00am Facejacker 12.35 Friday Night Dinner

8.55am Scrapheap Challenge (x2) 11.05 Four In A Bed (x5) 1.55pm Jamie’s 30-Minute Meals (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.20 The TV Book Club 7.55 River Cottage Spring (x2) 10.00 Heston’s Mission Impossible 11.05 River Cottage Spring (x2) 1.20am Heston’s Mission Impossible

11.00am Baby’s Day Out (1994) 1.00pm California Man (1992) 2.40 That Thing You Do! (1996) 4.50 Home Alone 3 (1997) 6.50 The Devil Wears Prada (2006) 9.00 G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009) 11.15 Wicker Park (2004) 1.30am Portrait Chinois (1996)



Brighton Lights 37

The weird and wonderful world of art is explored with Mackenzie Thorpe, Jiri Pelcl & Jonathan Woodham

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047_LS566_TV_Mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 24/02/2012 12:59 Page 1

monday 5 Embarrassing Bodies Channel 4, 9pm The team is back for a fifth series to answer all those questions you were afraid to ask. Now they have a tropical disease specialist, Dr Logan, who intentionally infests himself with a hookworm (nothing like hazing the new guy) and Dr Dawn heads to Thailand to see the ‘souvenirs’ Brits can bring back. Can’t wait.

Piers Morgan’s Life Stories; Boris Becker ITV1, 11.40pm Piers Morgan continues to chat to high profile celebrities to try and get them to spill the beans about their private lives. Well, it beats hacking their phone. Tonight, it’s Boris Becker’s turn – he reveals what it was like to win Wimbledon at 17 and also some of the sordid details off the court.

Storyville: Knuckle – Bare-Fist Fighting BBC4, 10pm This latest Storyville film (there have been some good ones of late) charts the 12-year journey into the brutal and secretive world of Irish traveller bareknuckle fighting. It follows the intense ritual and codes that go into a fight a well as the history of feuding between rival clans.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Postcode Lottery 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 I Want My Own Room 3.30 Wingin’ It 3.55 OOglies 4.15 Deadly Art 4.30 Helen’s Polar Challenge For Sport Relief 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex Jones present the stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 Inside Out Emma Thomas reports on new research into the dangers of smart phone use in cars. 8.00 EastEnders Lauren’s behaviour spirals out of control on a night out with Lucy and Whitney, leaving her friends to take desperate action. 8.30 The Money Farmers – Panorama Samantha Poling reveals how millions of pounds of public money are being paid out to businessmen and millionaire farmers in an abuse of the farming subsidy system. 9.00 Empire Jeremy Paxman looks at how the British Empire has shaped the world. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz. 11.05 Late Kick Off Dan Walker presents the Football League action 11.35 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host continues his anarchic talk show with Kasabian, performing the single ‘Goodbye Kiss’. 12.20am The Celebrity Apprentice USA 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: Great British Food Revival 2.50 Accused 3.50 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.35 BBC News


6.00am – 9.20am Children’s television 9.20 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Guess With Jess 9.40 Harry And Toto’s World Of Opposites 9.45 Small Potatoes 9.50 Louie 9.55 Same Smile 10.10 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.15 64 Zoo Lane 10.30 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 BBC World News 12.00pm Daily Politics 1.00 Coast 1.20 FILM: Press For Time (1966) 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads General knowledge quiz show. 6.30 My Life In Books Anne Robinson invites well-known personalities to discuss their favourite books. 7.00 This World: The Fastest Changing Place On Earth White Horse Village is a tiny farming community deep in rural China. A decade ago, it became part of the biggest urbanisation project in human history, as the Chinese government decided to take half a billion farmers and turn them into city-dwelling consumers. Filmed over six years, Carrie Gracie follows their lives. 8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions. 8.30 Bleak Old Shop Of Stuff The Dickensian satire continues. 9.00 The Tube Going behind the scenes of the world’s oldest, largest and busiest underground train network as it undergoes the biggest overhaul in its history. 10.00 Watson & Oliver Sketch comedy starring Lorna Watson and Ingrid Oliver. 10.30 Newsnight Investigation and analysis with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 Three Men Go To Ireland Comedic travels on the Irish waterways with Griff Rhys Jones, Dara O Briain and Rory McGrath. 12.05am BBC News 3.15 The Super


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Aaron finds that Ed does not give up easily. 7.30 Coronation Street Can Michelle stop Carla before she loses everything? 8.00 The Dales Adrian Edmondson presents the documentary series about life in the Yorkshire Dales. In this episode, he fulfils a childhood dream as he rides on the footplate of the steam train on the Settle to Carlisle line. 8.30 Coronation Street Frank’s triumph is cut short by a deadly confrontation. 9.00 Whitechapel With the body count rising, Miles and Chandler clash over the direction of the investigation. 10.00 ITV News At Ten & Weather 10.35 The Agenda ITV News political editor Tom Bradby hosts a series of talk shows looking at the talking points of the week ahead. 11.05 That Sunday Night Show Adrian Chiles rounds up the big events and news stories of the week alongside his regular panellists. 11.40 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Boris Becker See highlights 12.35am The Zone: Jackpot247 2.40 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 According To Jim 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 11.00 You Deserve This House 12.00pm Channel 4 News Midday Summary 12.05 Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard 12.35 River Cottage Bites 12.45 FILM: The Cowboys (1972) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Coach Trip 6.00 The Simpsons Lisa sheds her bookish image in to make friends. 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren privately worries about Riley’s threat to sell the pub and is sent reeling. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 SuperScrimpers Barbara gives student scrimpers a lecture in springcleaning dirty digs on a budget. 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies See highlights. 10.00 Out On A Limo Documentary following the work of drivers for the largest limousine hire company in Lancashire as they provide a service for everyday folk marking a significant moment in their lives. 11.05 Keith Allen Meets Nick Griffin Broadcaster, actor and comedian Keith Allen meets MEP and leader of the BNP, Nick Griffin to penetrate the headlines and discover what really lies behind this extremely controversial figure. He travels to Brussels to see Griffin at work in the European Parliament and attempts a rare interview – but is Griffin prepared to be challenged? 12.10am Random Acts 12.15 Homeland US 1.10 Shameless 2.05 A1 Cabs 2.30 Home Road Movies 2.45 Home Of The Future 3.40 Reasons To Be Cheerful 3.50 Chrono-Perambulator 4.00 Birth Of Britain With Tony Robinson 4.55 Time Team 5.55 Close

Channel Five

6.00am – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Removal Men: Pickfords 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 The Mentalist 3.10 FILM: The Boy She Met Online (2010) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away On the eve of Bianca and Liam’s wedding, a paparazzo shows up. 6.30 5 News 7.00 Stansted: The Inside Story The baggage handlers, rangers and air operations team battle ice and snow to keep Stansted’s runway open in the big freeze. 8.00 Police Interceptors Scott and Dave track a pair of mobile phone thieves with the help of GPS technology, Nick pushes his motor to the limit as he pursues a criminal gang and Jason has to deal with his own personal traffic nightmare. 9.00 Royal Marines: Mission Afghanistan Chris Terrill follows some of the marines injured whilst serving their country as they make the return back home. 10.00 FILM: Untraceable (2008) Starring Diane Lane, Joseph Cross, Colin Hanks and Billy Burke. Crime thriller. A female detective races to find the man responsible for a website which offers live video of grisly acts of torture. The films become ever more violent as more people visit the site, and her battle with the seemingly untraceable webmaster takes on an increasingly personal dimension. 12.00am Soho Blues 12.55 SuperCasino Live 4.00 House Doctor 4.20 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 11.00 Spanish Football 12.30pm Ford Football Special 2.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 3.00 Spanish Football 4.30 Football’s Greatest Managers 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Soccer AM The Best Bits 6.30 Netbusters 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Barclays Premier League Review 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM The Best Bits 1.00 Football League 2.30 Netbusters 3.00 Live International Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Premiership Rugby 9.30 PGA Tour Golf 2.30pm Fight Night International 6.00 Water Polo 7.00 Nascar 8.00 Super League Full Time 9.00 Water Polo 10.00 Nascar 11.00 Warren Miller’s Children Of Winter 12.30am Nascar 1.30 PGA Tour Golf 2.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 4.00 PGA Tour Classic

Sky Sports 3 8.00am Super League Full Time 9.00 Super League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 International Cricket 1.30pm Tennis 3.00 Dubai Tennis Championship 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Warren Miller’s Children Of Winter 8.30 Tennis 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Nascar

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Emergency With Angela Griffin 1.00 Lie To Me (x2) 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 6.00 Airline (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Gadget Geeks 9.00 Obese: A Year To Save My Life US 10.00 Spartacus: Vengeance 11.15 An Idiot Abroad 2 12.15am Dog The Bounty Hunter (x2)

7.00pm The Real Hustle: Celebrity Chancers 7.30 World’s Craziest Fools 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Riots And Revolutions: My Arab Journey 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Being Human 12.45am Riots And Revolutions: My Arab Journey

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Great British Railway Journeys 8.00 Ice Dogs 9.00 Dirk Gently 10.00 Knuckle: Bare Fist Fighting – Storyville 11.30 Ice Dogs 12.25am Dirk Gently 1.25 Knuckle: Bare Fist Fighting – Storyville 2.55 Dirk Gently

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The Biggest Loser 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: The Nutty Professor (1996) 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.45 The Vampire Diaries 12.45am Coronation Street (x2) 1.40 Emmerdale

11.00am Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 Murder, She Wrote 3.15 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 George And Mildred 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Murder, She Wrote 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Martin Clunes: Islands Of Britain 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.15am Numb3rs

2.20pm Hollyoaks 2.50 90210 3.45 Glee 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.05 Desperate Housewives 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Skins 11.00 Fresh Meat 11.55 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.50am Scrubs

4.40pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Grand Designs Australia 11.10 The Daily Show Global Edition 11.40 Kevin McCloud: Slumming It 12.50am Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

11.00am Millions Like Us (1943) 1.00pm The Yangtse Incident (1957) 2.50 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) 4.40 The Belles Of St Trinian’s (1955) 6.25 Dreamgirls (2006) 9.00 Kiss The Girls (1997) 11.15 Deep End (1970) 1.00am Hallam Foe (2007)



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