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the city & news magazine for brighton & hove

Brighton Lights Climate change is the hot topic with Lizzie Gillett, producer of The Age Of Stupid. Andrew Kay and Andrea Fox present The Foodie Awards, and Andrew interviews chef Antonio Carluccio. It’s all on Brighton Lights 33 at:

H jobs H news H food H listings H tv guide H

29 Nov – 5 Dec 2011


STEVE COOGAN On the eagerly awaited return of Alan Partridge WIN! Family tickets to Christmas pantos

Monkey business

Is it a bar? Is it a jazz club? Is it a cabaret? Yes, it’s The Jive Monkey, Brighton’s best new reason to stay out late page 19

PERFECT PRESENTS Gift ideas to take the stress out of Xmas shopping

w ave Your monthly

guide to hea lt living p20 hy

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003_LS554_contents _Contents 25/11/2011 15:17 Page 1


CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

29 NOV– 6 DEC


>on tv


Brighton Lights Ep. 33

04 Latest People CineCity launch, Rockinghorse Cool Britannia ball, MADE 11, Engineerium open day and Matt Whistler! 06 Latest Brighton & Hove News; Latest Inbox City parking fares on the rise, new cycle lane, plus City Council leader Bill Randall on the Green’s budget 12 Sport: Brighton & Hove Albion Neil Smillie interviewed, racism in football row, and England hopefuls at the BHAFC Centre of Excellence 14 Bare Cheek Mike Hunter answers your burning questions 14 Mad Matt Matt Whistler’s chef smells cheese 15 City Speak Ruby invites the TV cameras in, Tasha loses control, and Will raises a few eyebrows 16 Snapshots Brighton & Hove Gay Men’s Chorus 16 Competitions Win tickets to top Christmas pantos! 17 Celebcity Mitch Winehouse, The Kooks, Preston and Peter Andre

Everything happens in Brighton. Just ask Frankie Cocozza! And Brighton Lights 33 has more variety than a whole series of The X Factor! The world’s best cook (in my opinion!) and mushroom champ Antonio Carluccio tells our resident foodie Andrew Kay his secret vice. You will never guess! Andrew and Andrea Fox then present The Foodie Awards and Jenni Davidson talks to the winners, The Prince George, Idea, Infinity Foods and Terre a Terre. Meanwhile, Guy Lloyd gets his bits waxed for Oxjam, well maybe I should say legs but look and see all in ‘Guy Does...’ Then it’s two major Brighton festivals in the spotlight as we meet climate change campaigner and producer of hit movie The Age Of Stupid, Lizzie Gillett at Brighton Digital Festival. Here’s someone who has made a difference and who loves Brighton University. Jamie King explains why copyright should be for sharing as in his controversial movie Steal This Film. Feel free to embed Brighton Lights anywhere Jamie! Lastly, if you haven’t seen it already – and so many of you have – a final chance to see William Ranieri's extraordinary film on Declan and Phil’s Playgroup Festival starring Trans Siberian March Band, Derrière, Boycom, The Correspondents, Quantic Y Su Combo Barbaro, but mainly yourselves – the extraordinarily showy audience! Audience not! I’m tempted to say it could only have happened in Brighton but it was in Eridge near Tunbridge Wells. Val Aviv presents and what’s that huge thing next to her? Never seen that in Brighton before, which is where I came in... Watch Brighton Lights at Bill Smith



L7 INTERVIEW 18 Steve Coogan on the upcoming charity screening of The Trip, his new film projects, and why the time is right for Alan Partridge’s return

LIFESTYLE 19 Cover Feature: The Jive Monkey Brighton’s hottest new venue opens its doors


20 Wave: Health & Beauty Wellbeing and beauty gifts; perfect presents for babies and toddlers; dieting advice, NHR Organics, relationship advice and Revitalise therapy centre opens in Brighton 28 The X Factor See the latest acts to leave the show at Revenge! 24 Latest Extreme Winter sports and news from London’s Freeze Festival 29 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink; Hotlist Dinner with a difference at The Swan in Kemp Town

Enter our competitions online to win the latest show tickets, new DVDs, CDs and more. Find out what’s happening in the city this week with our listings covering music, theatre, comedy and events. Read all the latest news and reviews, and download tracks in the Latest Brighton Download Chart. It’s all online:

Comedy, music or clubs?


WHAT’S ON 32 Reviews & bookings; Latest Brighton Download Chart Stephen Merchant, Axis Of Awesome and Diversity 34 Latest Previews The Pajama Men; Christmas Artists Open Houses 38 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Horoscopes; a look at Xmas DVDs; 7-day TV listings Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless


Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Entertainment Editor & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Website & IT Tom Scrace Lisa Yousefi

Find out what’s going on in Brighton while you’re on the move with comprehensive listings straight to your mobile phone Editor Zara Baker Editorial Assistant Laura Burgess Sub Editors Chris Dyer Glyn George Jamie Jolley Rachel Junior

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Music Listings Nick Aldwinckle Design Anand Day Andrew Wright

Illustrators Lili Bé Graham Clark Paul Lewis Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

Watch our shows at

latest brighton the digital capital of europe

01273 818150 Editorial: Advertising: Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

004_005_LS554_latest people_Social Diary 25/11/2011 16:28 Page 2




The Rockinghorse Cool Britannia Ball, MADE 11, CineCity, The British Engineerium, and a cheesy promo for Matt’s Whistler

Cool Britannia rules Rockinghorse Children’s Charity painted the town red, white and blue on Saturday night (19 November) and raised an astounding £63,000 at its Cool Britannia themed ball, which was held at the Hilton Brighton Metropole. The evening was sponsored by Hove-based company and long standing supporter Skerritts Wealth Management and hosted by the fantastic presenter/journalist Marcella Whittingdale and Juice 107.2’s Guy Lloyd. Over 300 guests enjoyed a fun and frivolous night of fundraising in true British style. Claire Ross-Baker, Rockinghorse Chief Executive, said: “We’re so grateful to everyone for coming along and supporting the charity and to all the companies and individuals who made the event possible, especially our wonderful sponsors, Skerritts Wealth Management. We’ve had some great feedback and can’t wait to see everyone again next year!” All money raised on the evening will ensure the charity can continue its work supporting sick and disabled children across Sussex and Surrey. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Richard Skerritt, Heidi Edwards, Guy Lloyd, Marcella Whittingdale, Claire Ross-Baker

Mark & Jane Belton, Tom Huntingdon

Louise Hearn, Heidi Edwards

Mike Routledge, Richard Skerritt, Shirley & Malcolm Diamond, Mark Waters

Bernard Burns, Shirley Diamond, Tom Diamond, Mark Cardy

Sam & Ian Howell, Zoe Ealey (Skerritts)

Lee & Nicola Tunmore, Richard Pollins

Jenny Green, Amy Carter (Skerritts)

Making it up

The Engineerium

MADE 11, Brighton’s Design and Craft Fair, now in it's 5th year returned to the Corn Exchange from 18-20 November and is supported by Latest 7 magazine. The Fair showcases over 100 contemporary and highly original makers and designers across all media. With jewellery, furniture, ceramics, textiles, clothing and the odd quirky pieces thrown in – the fair offers beautiful handcrafted objects to suit everyone’s taste and budget and attracting over 5,000 visitors each year. MADE, together with Brighton & Hove Museums, presented awards to outstanding makers known as The Brighton & Hove Collects Awards which are used to purchase or commission pieces for the museum's craft collections. The award winners are pictured with their piece. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Brighton's own British Engineerium saw the last open day on 20 November before it starts the last phase of restoration. All proceeds from the fun afternoon went to the Chestnut Tree House Children's Hospice. The old Goldstone water pumping station, which was rescued by Mike Holland from closure in 2006, is an industrial museum in Hove. The Engineerium holds some lovely pieces of history and the new restoration will turn it into one the city's main attractions. Words and photos: Diana Frangi

Holly Berry (Recipient of The Brighton & Hove Collects Awards Peer Prize) Hand woven "Morse Code - LOVE” scarves & wraps.

Rob Marks, Mike Holland, Jack Pinsent

Becky Crow (Recipient of The Brighton & Hove Collects Awards)

Chestnut Tree House: Dave Malone, Carolyn Robinson, Maurice Grey, Sarah Arnolds

Louise Hibbert (Recipient of The Brighton & Hove Collects Awards)

Louise Hibbert’s hand made Sycamore turned, in silver and resin

004_005_LS554_latest people_Social Diary 25/11/2011 16:45 Page 3


Say cheese!


Matt Whistler – daredevil, Latest 7 columnist and YouTube phenonemon – promoted his Christmas single in the cheesiest way possible: at Bookers cheese department in Brighton on Saturday 19 November. Last year Matt reached number three in the charts with his cover of ‘Surfin’ Bird.’ This year’s Christmas single is a cover of Shakin’ Stevens’ ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’ (the polkadot mix), engineered by Julian Tardo. The track will soon be available for download on iTunes and Amazon. A cheesy promo never hurt anyone. Let’s get Matt to Christmas Number One! With thanks to Bookers, Moulsecoomb Way regarding permissions for the cheese display. Photo: Patrick Kneath

CineCity Brighton Film Festival opened at The Duke of York’s Cinema on 17 November and runs until 4 December 2011 at venues across the city, sponsored by Jameson Irish Whiskey. CineCity give you a first sight of award-winning and highly anticipated films ahead of release and showcase many others from around the world. The opening night featured a walk on the wild side with Steve McQueen’s Shame, (starring Michael Fassbender) which will be on general release from 13 January 2011. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath


Paul Dutnall (Board Member CineCity)

Gary Barber (Brighton Film School), Debbie Plentie (Chichester Festival Theatre Press/PR)

ci 2; 3; 4; ** 6; 7; 8; Co 9; Pr 10

Jameson Irish Whiskey (Sponsors)

Tara Barnett & Emily Compton (Momentum Pictures Distribution Co)

Rosalind Galt (University of Sussex), Frank Gray (CineCity)

Vincent Gandy, Claire Hughes-King. Latest 7 Competition Winners

007_LS554_newsphilmills_council_editorial 25/11/2011 12:41 Page 2


latest brighton & hove news

7 days of headlines with phil mills Flood warnings & Sussex cliff erosion, parking fees on the rise, a new cycle route & charitable work


hat was the week that was, when Sussex was warned “your coast is going to be swallowed by the sea” and two caretakers swallowed sheeps’ eyes for charity. The Environment Agency brought Christmas cheer to an economicallydepressed populous by announcing that 10 miles of our coastline will crumble or wash away within 15 years due to erosion, with Newhaven, Seaford and Birling Gap being the most vulnerable, and properties from Brighton to Littlehampton will be at risk from flooding. But before we all start filling sandbags, there are plans to spend millions “holding the line” and protecting the coast. The agency has a map for residents to study – Floods may be heading our way but, ironically, our reservoirs are half empty due to lack of rain. And just to add to the festive cheer, the winter vomitting bug, norovirus, hit the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton and had to close wards after both nurses and patients fell victim. The city council joined the fun by announcing it is considering raising some on and off-street parking charges in, what it claims, is a “bid to improve traffic flow, reduce congestion and cut down on pollution”. The city, exposed by the BBC as one that charges motorists more in fees and fines than most others in

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Bill Randall on the first Green budget


he UK’s first ever Green local authority budget will be published in the next few days, almost three months before the budget must be finally set. The budget has never been published this early in the council before. We are going early to provide time for wide-ranging, transparent and unprecedented consultation with city residents and other affected stakeholders. It is part of our commitment to making the first Green budget as transparent and accessible as

the South, is going for “selective increases as one way to manage demand, help cut down on traffic volumes in the city, and encourage residents and visitors to consider sustainable transport options such as walking, cycling and public transport”. Latest 7 reader Christine Robertson said: “It's just a cash cow. We are all for fighting pollution and congestion but many new cars these days emit cleaner air than goes in them, and we're already being hit with higher fuel charges.” Parking fees in the city have gone up every year and this time the council reckons the combined effect of raising some tariffs for on and offstreet parking will bring in an extra £1.3m. The council, determined to combat “serious pollution and congestion”, says any surplus

possible. More information about council spending is available on the website than ever before, and our ‘open book’ approach to the budget is unprecedented in this city. From very early on, we involved councillors from all parties in looking frankly at the options we faced and we have met regularly with union, community and voluntary sector representatives. Three budget workshops for the public have already been held around the city, about 500 people have so far used the online budget simulator to set their own budget and another 1,900 have completed

collected from the increases would be reinvested into transport schemes such as free bus travel for over 60s, better transport links, school travel planning and highways maintenance. And motorists who park illegally but drive off as an enforcement officer approaches could soon find a parking ticket dropping on their doorstep. The council is considering allowing enforcement officers to use CCTV footage and hand held cameras to gather evidence and issue tickets for ‘drive-aways.’ The council has always had the power to use CCTV evidence and issue tickets by post,

(under the Traffic Management Act 2004) but until now has not done so. Currently, drivers can avoid a ticket if they drive away while the officer is processing the information, which takes around two minutes. This gives enough time for a driver to dash out of nearby shop and drive away. Cyclists, meanwhile, are being given more of their own space on the local roads – Councillor Ian Davey was photographed cycling along Old Shoreham Road where a new cycle route is being built. In other news, Sussex’s former stunt rider, brave Eddie Kidd, brain damaged when he crashed, has announced he is planning to renew his vows with his wife Sami. He spends much of his time in a wheelchair but he's hoping to walk down the aisle to join his bride. Eddie has raised tens of thousands of pounds for charity. While on the subject of charity, spare a thought for Steve Chapman and David Rhoden, caretakers at the University of Brighton, who ate pigs’ snouts, locusts and sheeps’ eyes to raise cash for BBC’s Children in Need. What do you think of the new cycle route?

part of it. Budget options were also debated at the recent ‘City Assembly’ event for council tenants.

“Our first priority is to protect vulnerable people of all ages from the cuts” This is in stark contrast to a year ago, when proposals were published without consultation and fewer than four days before the crunch meeting where the budget had to be decided. Brighton & Hove City Council is facing unprecedented and above-

average cuts in public spending, and there is widespread public concern about the effect these cuts will have on local services. Our first priority is to protect vulnerable people of all ages from the cuts imposed on the city by the government. Every option is being pursued. Rather than cuts vital services or jobs for example, we will co-locate services and reduce the number of buildings the council uses. This initiative will also help us cut the council’s carbon footprint and improve customer access to services. It’s a hard time to set a budget, and Greens believe it is absolutely essential to consult with residents and all interested sectors to mitigate the worst of the cuts and protect the most vulnerable people in the city.

007_LS554_Wired Sussex_Layout 1 24/11/2011 17:04 Page 1

Junior Sales Support Assistant Mason IT (Brighton and Hove)

Marketing Assistant/Executive Martin Searle Solicitors (Brighton and Hove)

Customer Service Team Leader WPM Education (Burgess Hill)

PHP Developer Orbtalk Ltd (Brighton and Hove)

PHP Developer Bozboz Ltd (Brighton & Hove)

Digital Account Director Fortune Cookie (Brighton & Hove)

Digital Designer Edelman (Digital UK) (Brighton and Hove)

PA to the Managing Director GBC PR Ltd

Web developer – Required for corporate CMS driven site Ipad/iphone/android/VOIP App – Developer needed Website revamp – Required for Brighton-based retail company Freelance web designers – Required for ongoing work

Wired Sussex Members’ Meetup –Tues 29 Nov, 5.30pm – 10pm. Venue: The Victory Brighton Drupal – Mon 5 Dec, 7pm – 10pm.  Venue: The Skiff Digitisation of Archival Content – Weds 7 Dec, 1pm – 4pm.  Venue: Uni of Brighton Argus Journalism Workshop –Fri 9 Dec, 2pm – 5pm.  Venue: The Argus

North Laines – 2nd floor desk space available Kemp Town – 3rd person to share studio space

008_009_LS554_newsnewsdps_editorial 25/11/2011 14:36 Page 2


latest brighton & hove news

the bigissue

Paying up for parking A rise in prices is expected to be agreed today. Frank le Duc reports on the ramifications


arking charges are likely to be put up today (Tuesday), with the new prices taking effect, no later than the start of next May. A few of the proposals have made headlines already. The doubling cost of trader permits, for example, and the weekend premium prices in city centre car parks when shoppers and tourists pour in. The man responsible for making the decision this afternoon is Ian Davey, the council’s cabinet member for transport and the public realm. If, as some suggest, the Green Party is a mixture of environmentalists and disaffected Labour supporters, few can doubt Councillor Davey’s environmental credentials. He has long favoured sustainable buildings as a member of the planning committee. And he has long lobbied for more sustainable transport. As an avowed cyclist, he practises what he preaches. He is not the first politician in Brighton and Hove to put up parking prices although he is the first Green politician to do so. And some prices are actually being reduced as part of an attempt to simplify what has evolved into a complicated menu of charges. There is a level of sophistication in the review of parking charges that belies the easy headlines. It suggests that officials and politicians have picked up on some of the concerns raised by residents’ groups and at the city’s Transport Partnership. And there have been more than a few glances at the pricing structures set in other areas. But in the tribal world of politics, it is easy to characterise the Conservatives as the motorists’ friend and the Greens as the ideological enemy of the car. While this “There are too many analysis is rather too simplistic, it is not hard to believe that the Tories might have a modicum more sympathy to cars looking for too the plight of the white van man. Some critics have suggested that the proposals being decided today, perhaps few spaces” more than usual, play to these stereotypes.


The changes are expected to raise £18 million – or £1.3 million more next year. The council is always quick to point out that any surplus is reinvested in transport or environmental projects. These include subsidised bus routes, concessionary fares, bus and cycle lanes and other traffic management schemes. Those who squeal loudest at parting with their pennies – these days, make that pounds – are the first to point out that revenue is revenue. Even if the way it can be spent is restricted. But, important though it is, it’s not only about the money. There’s one thing that Ian Davey is keen to drive and that’s modal shift – the transport insiders’ term for persuading us to stop driving and start walking, cycling or taking the bus. Even national policy had an element of trying to price people out of their cars – hence the fuel duty escalator which meant pump prices for petrol and diesel rose faster than inflation. The revised parking charges in Brighton and Hove are intended to be simpler, fairer and more consistent for residents, visitors and businesses. Not everyone agrees that they are fairer. At the same time they are aimed at

reducing demand for spaces at the busiest car parks, cutting congestion and improving the environment. Councillor Davey said: “Parking charges are reviewed every year and generally charges have been raised. This has helped with parking management and has contributed to the reduction in the number of vehicles driving into the city. “There are too many cars looking for too few spaces and nobody benefits when people are forced to sit and queue in their vehicles. We also have serious problems with traffic-related air pollution in the city. Far from improving, air quality in some areas is getting worse. Air pollution can aggravate respiratory illness and we have to tackle problems being experienced by residents living near congested roads.” He said that the highest proposed price rises, for example, in the centre of Brighton, reflected demand for spaces and were designed to encourage people to think about alternatives. And he added: “Two thirds of journeys start and end within the city. We hope that people will choose other forms of transport for at least some of their journeys and therefore will not incur parking charges.”


With a by-election pending in Hove, it’s little surprise that the Greens’ political rivals are talking about the rising price of parking. Former police chief Graham Cox is defending the Westbourne ward seat for the Conservatives after former council leader Brian Oxley resigned for personal reasons (he is moving to Derby to care for his elderly father).

008_009_LS554_newsnewsdps_editorial 25/11/2011 13:54 Page 3



Sometimes when prices rise, there is talk of shoppers heading to Crawley or Eastbourne, to Worthing or even Bluewater and Lakeside. More locally, Holmbush in Shoreham might benefit, Asda in Hollingbury too and Sainsbury’s in Benfield Valley. Councillor Davey is unconvinced that the numbers or effect will be significant.


There are no easy answers and our problems are not unique to Brighton and Hove. Defenders of the price increases say that the Greens are not in principle acting in a radically different way to the previous Conservative regime. They also cite targeted reductions in some charges while putting up others and point to a broadly similar approach from Labour before 2007. No one has solved the park and ride issue and the Greens have actively ruled out trying to set up a park and ride for now. Each party has its own priorities within the bigger picture. Locally elected politicians can hardly be blamed for having their voters in mind. Councillor Davey’s electors in St Peter’s and North Laine are less likely to be drivers than those voting for Conservative opposition leader Geoffrey Theobald in Patcham. But the overarching problems remain. The challenge is to come up with a strategic vision that balances public transport with the needs of pedestrians, cyclists and drivers. This solution would also need to provide the right amount of parking for the people who live, work and come to stay here, whilst still at a price that commands broad support. Maybe there is no right answer but the price of getting it wrong is too great for us to stop looking. n Mr Cox said the increases – more than 100 per cent in some instances – were a “hammer blow” to residents and local businesses. He said: “It is irresponsible for the Greens to be imposing these eye-watering increases at a time when local businesses and families across the city are struggling to make ends meet. “They should be encouraging people to come into Brighton and Hove to spend their money in local shops and restaurants. If people are put off visiting the city, these extra taxes will not even raise more money for the council. These short-sighted proposals will have the exact opposite effect. “These are extra taxes in everything but name. To expect a local tradesman to find an extra £400 simply to be able to carry on his or her business is preposterous.” Councillor Davey pointed out that the price of a trader permit had not gone up for ten years and would still be cheaper than in many comparable areas. They would cost about £3 a working day. Councillor Gill Mitchell, the Labour leader in Brighton and Hove, said: “The Greens are not only trying to price people out of their cars but are damaging the city’s economy with these eye-watering increases for local trader and business permits. Traders will have no option but to pass these huge increases on to their customers so residents are being hit twice. “By refusing to progress plans for a park and ride scheme that would enable visitors to come into the city comfortably and without their cars, the Greens’ parking increases will simply send people away to other towns that will benefit at our expense. This is a congestion charge in all but name.” Steve Percy, who founded the People’s Parking Protest ten years ago, says that he campaigns for common sense on parking. He is a member of the city’s Transport Partnership along with Councillor Davey and Brighton and Hove Buses managing director Roger French. Mr Percy said: “There needs to be a carrot and a stick. Park and ride should be the carrot. But there is no carrot. Putting prices up is the stick. “I want to see trade in Brighton increase and prices decrease to encourage the public to come here. If you come down to Brighton and you pay £15 a day that’s money that won’t be spent with traders. The Greens are being very greedy.”


He refuted the Greens’ suggestion that the long queues for some of the car parks in Brighton were a sign that prices were too low. He said that they showed clearly that were too few parking spaces. He said that people would avoid the most expensive car parks and said that the solution wasn’t to charge more but to build more. And ensure that cars could drive in and out of the town centre with fewer hold ups. Critics have suggested that weekend tariffs smack of milking motorists, in particular the visitors who come to shop, eat, see a show and stay in our hotels, reducing the likelihood that they will return. Another criticism was that the rise in parking prices favoured the rich and hit the poorest hardest, like the poll tax. It was a fact of life that more people had cars and wanted to drive and some cases genuinely needed to drive. Travel to work distances have grown. And given the local school admissions policy, travel to school distances had also grown. Most of the extra cars on the roads are cleaner and greener than a generation ago. And the next generation will emit even less pollution. Of course they still pollute, especially if journeys are slower and longer in duration. Mr Percy said: “People just want to get around Brighton from one place to another with as little fuss as possible.” But he said that traffic had not been allowed to flow more easily in and out of the central areas. And even in outlying areas rat runs had been systematically closed off, removing the relief valves in many areas and forcing all traffic on to main roads adding to congestion and pollution. Concerns that built out bus stops have added to delays, engine idling and pollution have not been answered with evidence.

THE KEY CHANGES • Trader permits will go up from £350 to £750 a year • Resident and school permits will go up from £108 to £115 a year • Business permits will go up from £175 to £400 a year • Visitor permits will go up from £2 to £2.50 a day • Hotel guest permits in zone C (the western end of Kemp Town) will go up from £5.50 to £7.50 and in zone N (in Hove) from £2 to £3 • One-day waivers for traders to park on yellow lines will go up from £4 to £10 • NCP controls some of the town centre car parks, such as those behind Churchill Square and the one in Church Street. The council controls, among others, the car parks in The Lanes, London Road, Regency Square and Trafalgar Street. All four will charge £1 for an hour on a weekday – this will be cheaper than the present cost at three of the four car parks. At weekends an hour will cost between £2 and £4 depending on the car park. The review will cut the number of price bands but most prices will rise or stay the same. Four hours at weekends in The Lanes car park will go up from £9.50 to £15 • On street parking will be classed as high zone or low zone with the seafront being classed as a high zone during the summer and low zone during the winter. The number of price bands will be cut with the basic minimum price in the high zone – the Brighton town centre – rising from £1.70 for half an hour to £3.50 for an hour. In the low zone – or outer areas – the minimum price will be £1 for an hour. Greater consistency will see all pay and display areas extended to seven days a week where they aren’t already and the hours will be 9am to 8pm everywhere. Some bays are currently 9am to 6pm

010_LS554_news Frank talking_editorial 25/11/2011 14:24 Page 2



latest brighton & hove news

FRANKTALKING Insight, comment and analysis from the editor of Brighton & Hove News, Frank le Duc

Needled by our doubts

having had the relevant inoculation. And of course there’s the sheer time it takes – for clinicians and parents. It’s inefficient. But maybe it’s time to think again. Take-up rates are not as The measles outbreak is evidence of a loss of good as health chiefs want. And if single jabs were to be offered, trust which is still far from having been resolved not everyone would opt for them. It could well prove more effective than the present all or nothing choice facing all but the wealthiest or most determined parents. It would go some he outbreak of measles at two Hove schools has reignited the way to restoring confidence in the medical profession and policy-makers too. debate about the safety of vaccines in general and the MMR vaccine This could prove important as the first reports of side-effects from the HPV specifically. The triple vaccine for measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine begin to appear. The Daily Mail – required was called into question by research that has since reading for anyone with even mild hypochondria – has been discredited. But for many parents, doubts remain. reported cases of blackouts, convulsions and partial Take-up rates have fallen. And this year dozens have “We should find better paralysis. It can be far from easy to establish whether contracted measles, notably at Davigdor Infant School the vaccine, which protects against cervical cancer, is and Somerhill Junior. ways to communicate the cause of a condition or whether it is coincidence. Many of us had measles as children and survived We journalists tend not to be terribly good at unscathed. Some don’t. Some suffer terrible risks and uncertainties reporting the complexities and nuances of science complications. But the prevailing medical opinion is that without losing sight of and medicine and statistics. But for all the media inoculation is the healthy way to keep the most introspection about the phone-hacking scandal, it is vulnerable among us safe. Some will suffer side-effects the bigger picture” worth reminding ourselves that, at its best, from the vaccine and occasionally those side-effects journalism has challenged the medical fashions that, will be serious. We have no way of knowing at present for example, inflicted thalidomide on a generation. And just as journalists which of us is most at risk of an adverse reaction to the triple jab. uncovered phone-hacking, so a dogged Sunday Times reporter assembled The falling take-up reflects a wider loss of trust in authority – doctors as the evidence that cast doubt on Dr Andrew Wakefield’s flawed research into well as politicians and officials. It hasn’t helped that some doubting parents the MMR vaccine. have learnt that family doctors’ practices are paid a bonus if they give enough Many of us crave certainty. But scientists – including doctors – ought to children the triple jab. It is one of many factors affecting surgeries’ incomes. It question received wisdom just as journalists also should. And perhaps we is intended to achieve what is known as herd immunity. should find better ways to communicate risks and uncertainties without Some would prefer to have the choice of single jabs. They are not available losing sight of the bigger picture. Better informed readers and patients might through the NHS. Not surprisingly, parents bringing children for six separate then have genuine trust when they decide whether to bring their vulnerable injections are more likely to miss appointments – temporarily or permanently – children in for a jab. Because when it comes to healthy doubt, none of us and put herd immunity at risk. The inevitable extra time required to give six jabs should be immune. n also makes it more likely that children are ill with one of the conditions before


LATEST INBOX Earthquakes In London review I understand you completely, however I feel obliged put forward one argument. Considering that Rupert Goold employs a number of Brechtian techniques to disengage the audience from the narrative, do you not think that the play was successful? Personally, I am a huge fan of Earthquakes In London and feel that the play has changed my life in a small way so perhaps I am biased. Admittedly there were several points during the play that felt disjointed, the rants often left

my head spinning and as a result my mind wandered too so maybe you are right but as a Drama and Theatre Studies student I can only appreciate the performance for its effective Brechtian style. Poppy, via Latest Extreme LS554 Awesome articles, I can’t believe there hasn’t been anything like this before which seems ridiculous as Brighton has such a massive extreme sports community. I surf on Brighton coast regularly and would love to read about other people who do the same – maybe even their tips on where else in the UK would be good to surf!? Keep it up! JD, via

> Have your say To comment on any of our news and features or to let us know what’s on your mind email You can also write to Letters, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH Charity features LS551 Dear Latest, I was so pleased to see your piece last week about supporting charities this Christmas. Just a quick note to say that Charity Chuckle is putting on two comedy shows this

The Santa Dash (charity feature, LS551)

December too, the first on 6 December at Komedia with Zoe Lyons headlining for Rise and Survivors Network, the second on 13 December at Latest Musicbar with headliner Pat Cahill. Without the Christmas goodwill supporting these and other charity events it would be quite a depressing season of goodwill. Well done to everyone for putting on such enjoyable and worthwhile fundraisers. Ho! Ho! Ho! Amy Goodchild, via email

011_LS554_news profile nib_editorial 25/11/2011 15:18 Page 1


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Man of letters


Andrew Kay remembers Peter Burton, writer, journalist and publisher

Self-made businessman Mike Holland is the Secret Millionaire in the episode to be shown on Sunday (4 December). The Brighton-based property tycoon is transported to Grimsby where the organisations that he works with help him deal with tragedy from his own family past. Mr Holland, who restored Stanmer House and owns the British Engineerium in Hove, was amazed by how charities ran on just a shoestring and said: “I was very impressed with the resourcefulness of the people involved in organising and running the various charities that I discovered in the Grimsby area. “It made me realise that while it is extremely difficult for charities in Southern England to make ends meet and survive, at least we have businesses here we can approach for funds. Some areas in the North East did not look as though there was any money, anywhere, to ask for. “Despite the difficulties, through sheer determination some of these organisations manage to survive and I am full of admiration for the individuals concerned. People such as these are the real backbone of our country and give best value for money. This needs to be realised by government because if cuts are to be made anywhere, only a fool would apply those cuts to the voluntary sector.”




Very recently, Latest MD Bill Smith has been looking through archive copies of The Punter and was surprised to see how much Peter had contributed in those early days. ‘As well as writing a regular restaurant column Peter was writing about gay issues here in Brighton and Hove and started our regular ‘Out’ section of the magazine. It was great re-visiting his work and being reminded what a great journalist he really was’. Peter wrote several books of his own but for many he will be remembered as an inspiration to writers, championing writing from young gay men and women, as well as from older writers who discovered a talent later in life, and over the years he edited many collections of new works. In recent years he took on the role of literary consultant for the local Clifton Montpelier Powis Festival and at the time of his death he was already working on the next festival programme.


I went to interview Peter a few years ago about his involvement with that festival and about his career and his passion for books. That passion was evident from the moment you arrived at his home on the


Pic: Mark Vessey

In 1973 he started to write for Gay News and by 1976, as well as acting as the paper’s literary editor, he was PA to the editor Denis Lemon . It was in that year that Mary Whitehouse and the National Viewers' and Listeners' Association brought her private prosecution of blasphemous libel against Denis Lemon and Gay News after Gay News had published the poem ‘The Love That Dares To Speak Its Name’ by James Kirkup. The jury found in favour of Whitehouse and Lemon was fined and received a suspended prison sentence. They were different times with different issues and Peter Burton was at the forefront of those issues writing about them and campaigning. Denis Lemon later went on to describe Peter Burton as the godfather of gay journalism and it was a role that he maintained until his very untimely end.

“For those whose lives Peter Burton touched, he will be greatly missed but his influence will be felt even by those who had never met him” edges of Kemp Town. The rooms were lined with shelves and the shelves lined with books but between the shelves were stacks of books that towered and divided the spaces even further into a labyrinthine biobliophile’s heaven. I gingerly eased my way through to the tiny kitchen at the rear of his home, which appeared to be in a perilous state of disrepair, and there he made me a cup of earl grey tea. I chose earl grey because the milk on the table looked a bit iffy. We chatted for several hours about books and about life in general. To be honest, I think we both forgot what the brief might have been, but it was certainly one of the most fascinating and educational afternoons I have ever spent. Peter’s unexpected death will leave an enormous hole in the city’s literary scene, in its gay scene and in the lives of his friends. For those whose lives he touched, of whom there are many, he will be greatly missed but his influence will be felt even by those who may never have met or indeed heard of him. Peter William Burton, journalist, publisher and author, born 29 April 1945; died 7 November 2011. n

Weeks after appealing for £20,000 to keep the Ropetackle Arts Centre open in Shoreham, the trustees have raised the money. Hundreds of people made a donation or attended a fundraising event, culminating in the Save Ropetackle All Dayer, with live performances from several Sussex acts. Ropetackle chairman Martin Allan said: “We are extremely grateful to everyone who donated to the Save Ropetackle fund or attended fundraising events. To have been gifted £20,000 in the current financial climate is nothing short of astonishing. We are hugely grateful to everyone who has helped us.” Mr Allan paid a particular tribute to John Baine, also known as Attila the Stockbroker. He was instrumental in organising the Save Ropetackle All Dayer as the finale to the arts centre’s fundraising efforts. He added that the Ropetackle was secure for this financial year and was working on a review of its finances with Adur Council.

n BUSINESS MINISTER TO PAY VISIT TO ENTERPRISING BRIGHTON ACADEMY Business and Enterprise Minister Mark Prisk is due to visit a Brighton school on Thursday. Mr Prisk, the Conservative MP for Hertford and Stortford, has been invited to the Brighton Aldridge Community Academy in Falmer. He will meet staff and students at the academy as well as principal Philomena Hogg and Aldridge Foundation chief executive Honor Wilson-Fletcher. The foundation sponsors the £28 million academy which specialises in entrepreneurship. Mr Prisk is to be given a tour of the newly opened building including the “Brighton Creates” business centre, which is at the heart of the academy. His tour comes shortly after Honor Wilson-Fletcher spoke on ‘Wake Up To Money’ on BBC Radio Five Live and the Today programme on Radio Four, criticising the Young Apprentice. She said: “Many parents hear words like entrepreneurial and risk and don’t know how to help children develop these qualities. Unfortunately programmes such as Young Apprentice or Dragons’ Den may give the impression that successful entrepreneurs are ruthless wheeler-dealers, simply in it for personal enrichment, and with little desire to work as a team, when the reality is quite different.”

Pic: Diana Frangi


t came as a great shock to hear of the recent and unexpected death of writer and journalist Peter Burton. I first heard of Peter almost 20 years ago when I moved to Brighton. As a newcomer to the town I would regularly pick up a copy of a free listings magazine called The Punter. The Punter was the listings magazine for Brighton and Hove and had been started by our Managing Director Bill Smith with Tony Miller and Fiona McTernan, and in those days was edited by Kathryn Holliday. Peter wrote features for The Punter and a regular restaurant column, a job which I was later to take over from him. But he was already a well respected journalist who had first written for Spartacus, a gay magazine published from Brighton that later went on to become the international gay travel guide.


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latest SEAGULLS Up the Albion!

The fact that the media wanted to make hay with Poyet’s remarks at this time is perhaps a clue as to why it received such prominence. But the part of this to remember when weighing up whether Gus was being racist or not is to put it into context with Luis Suarez’s situation. Gus Poyet has befriended Suarez since he came over from Ajax and as a fellow Uruguayan wanted to show his support for a fellow countryman in a foreign land. Yes, the comment wasn’t helpful, but the way some publications interlinked this support for Suarez with Blatter’s clearly barmy ideas on racism, could be construed as unfair on someone trying to show support for a misunderstood fellow countryman, however misguided. Does this make Gus a racist? Whatever your opinion, when you start bracketing Gus Poyet’s defence of a fellow foreigner who may or may not have misjudged a cultural nuance, with an octogenarian plutocrat, who presides over an allegedly corrupt organisation (FIFA) then perhaps some perspective should be called for.

The FA investigate Gus was speaking about his experience of being on the end of some awful abuse himself while playing in Spain. Herr Blatter presides over an organisation who fined the Spanish FA €65,000 for their fans racist chanting in the game against England a few years ago, yet fined Cameroon a whopping €400,000 for wearing the wrong kind of shirt during the last World Cup. Poyet equals Blatter? I don’t think so. It’s good that racism is debated, it’s good that the FA are investigating the claims against both Suarez and John Terry. One thing is certain, with Gus you get a plain speaking man who, when he speaks his mind, people take note and it certainly keeps the spotlight off his players, something Alex Ferguson knows all about.

Photo: Paul Hazlewood

A fellow Uruguayan


Mark Brailsford steps into a media minefield You know you have a high profile manager when his name is mentioned on the back pages of the national newspapers and Sir Alex Ferguson is addressing his comments in his Premier League press conferences. For those who may not be aware of the recent interjection of Gus Poyet on the racism row between Manchester United’s Patrice Evra and Luis Suarez of Liverpool, here’s a very scant précis. Luis Suarez who is Uruguayan, and Patrice Evra, Manchester United’s left back had a contretemps in their recent match at Anfield. Evra accused “Racism in any Suarez of being racist. Now the ins and outs of the race issue are far too walk of life is complex for this column and way above my pay grade, suffice to say, unacceptable” racism in any walk of life is unacceptable wherever it is found. In this case (which is still being investigated by the FA) there is no clear proof that Suarez was aware of the potential offence he was causing by referring to Evra with a pejorative word (and I must use the word “allegedly”) used freely in Uruguay without offence being caused, I may be wrong on this; I have never been to Uruguay. So, what has Gus done to get embroiled in the issue? He said many things on the subject but the words that seemed to cause offence were that Evra was a “cry baby”. The fact that Gus was relating his own experience is relevant here, as he has certainly been on the receiving end of some quite offensive abuse himself. Unfortunately this all came about at the time Sepp Blatter was tying himself up in knots over the “There is no racism in football” remark and “if there is a problem on the pitch, then just shake hands after the match” comment.

official sponsor of

Latest 7 on the England hopefuls at the Girls’ Centre of Excellence The Brighton & Hove Albion FC Girls’ Centre of Excellence has been running for over 12 years, providing football coaching and training opportunities to girls aged 8-16 years. The Centre has teams at Under 11, Under 13, Under 15 and Under 17 level that compete in the London and South East Centre of Excellence fixture programme, which includes Chelsea, Arsenal, Colchester, Millwall and Norwich. The strength of talent produced by the Centre can be seen in the number of girls selected for England training camps and youth teams. One of these is Paula Howells, 14, who recently attended the England Women’s U15 training camp at Lancaster FA, where she took part in an International Friendly against Norway. Paula said: “When I heard I had been selected for the England Squad, I was very shocked and happy as it was such a massive achievement and there were so many girls they could choose from.”

Four other girls from the Centre have just been selected to attend an U15 Elite Player Camp in Bristol, which provides top class training and support to players, and from where the National team coaches select girls for International duty. The U17s are now competing in the Girls Centre of Excellence U17 Cup, which is a new national competition designed to increase matchplay experience at a higher competitive level. The

team managed to secure victory in their opening round, beating Somerset FA 2-1 in extra time, and face Norwich in the next round. As Centre Manager, Michelle Lawrence is proud of all the girls’ achievements, she added: “We’re delighted that so many of our girls are selected for the England Women’s training camps. It’s a testament to the high level of coaching we provide here at Brighton that we continue to deliver England hopefuls.” Coming up for Brighton & Hove Albion Women’s Football Club: Portsmouth (A), Sunday 4 December.

blast from the past Stewart Weir on Brian Clough & Peter Ward’s time at the Albion


ottingham Forest this Saturday. “We all live Remember Peter Ward and Brian Clough? Clough was less than in a Wardy successful at the Albion winning just 12 out of 32 matches. The 4-0 loss to non-league Wonderland” Walton & Hersham and then an 8-2 loss to Bristol Rovers would suggest Clough had lost the plot. He left Brighton less than a year after being appointed and went onto manage Leeds United and left there as their least successful manager, winning just one match in six. The Clough magic worked at Forest though. Clough spent 18 seasons as manager of Forest winning nine trophies and is one of the greatest English managers of all time.

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HOME GAME Mark Brailsford puts the questions to former BHA player Neil Smillie When did you play for the Albion? 1982-1985 What’s your most memorable match? The 1983 Cup final at Wembley What do you do now? Head of Talent ID at Nike. Identifying new football talent and signing them for Nike. Jack Wilshire is a recent player signed. Worst moment in football? Relegation in '83, then getting old and no longer playing. Do you still watch games? Yes, my son just signed for Everton and I go and watch him when I can. Is Gus Poyet a good manager? Yes, he's doing a fantastic job, playing football the right way.

Who had the biggest effect on your career? Not the biggest but certainly the most relevant: Former Albion boss Alan Mullery selling me to Brighton when he was manager at Crystal Palace. Did you enjoy coaching? I was at Gillingham with Mike Flannagan and then took over as caretaker but there is no substitute for playing. Will the Albion do well this season? Yes! Is promotion to the Premier League achievable? One day yes, but it might be best not to rush it. Gus is doing a great job, so why not? Coming up for BHAFC: Saturday 3 December: Nottingham Forest (H) Saturday 10 December: Middlesbrough (A) Saturday 17 December: Burnley (H) Monday 26 December: Reading (A) Saturday 31 December: Coventry City (A) Photo: Paul Hazlewood

Richard Reynolds with Neil Smillie at The Amex

Peter Ward became an Albion legend during his 179 matches, scoring 79 goals, 32 of which were in the ‘76/’77 season earning him the Golden Boot. In 1979 Ward put in a transfer request and Clough offered £400k which was then withdrawn. In October 1980 Ward did move to Forest but it never really worked out for him as he make just 28 appearances and scored seven goals. I can’t help but think he never should have moved... Photo: © 1990-2011 Stewart Weir


Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

WHAT WAS THAT? Can’t remember the name of a film, book, person or thing? Mike Hunter is the man with the answers.

Every week, we pick an overworked, on-theedge American police captain, in the midst of a violent and politically-sensitive case, and get one of our readers to attempt to cheer him up. This week 11-year-old Martin Towers of Portslade will attempt to win a Bare Cheek T-Shirt by amusing Captain Keynard “Keys” Graham of the Columbus, Ohio PD (currently embroiled in an extremely sensitive case involving the murder of seven Roman Catholic priests) with the following joke. Q: “What stays in the corner yet travels all around the world?” A: “A stamp.”


In • Cobbler’s Awls • Doctor's Orders • Tailor's Dummy • Postman's Bag • Bricklayer's Arms

Dear Ian, Don't worry! “It's not unusual” to have sudden lapses of memory. ‘Why why why’ they happen nobody has been able to answer. Nonetheless you'll kick yourself in the green green grass of home when you realise the name of this particular ‘Sex Bomb’. But your dear wife, if ‘She's a Lady’, which I'm sure she is, will certainly ‘Kiss’ you when you hand over the tickets to see none other than, ‘the voice’ himself, Cliff Richard. Please keep the letters coming in, Mike X


JOKE CORNER Laugh yourself hoarse with these rational funnies A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Irish Stew. B: Irish Stew who? A: Irish Stewart O'Flaherty. Q: Where do policeman live? A: In undisclosed addresses. Q: Why are pirates called pirates?

w a “ r “

Out • Bishop’s Finger • Writer's Cramp • Philosopher's Stone • Banker's Draft • Pheasant Plucker’s Son

CAPTAIN GRAHAM SAYS: “That’d be real funny if we had any better leads.”

A: It derives from the Greek word peirates – to attack. PATIENT: Doctor doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. DOCTOR: I'm afraid it is not within my professional capacity to advise you on issues of mental health. Please allow me to refer you to a psychiatrist. Q: How do you get four elephants into a Mini? Use female baby Bornean Pygmy Elephant calfs, one at a time. And make sure the car is a convertible.

Photos: MCP

Mad Matt Matt Whistler’s chef smells cheese...


his week’s exclusive is with Monsieur Pierre Blanc, Matt Whistler’s chef while out on his yatch in the Pier park paddling pool. “I do not believe this mad Englishman. Eee as the audacity to stand in the cheese store in the basement of the yatch and make me stock rotate all the cheeses into date order and yet place them in order of country from left to right while at the same time trying to have the lighter colour cheeses in chronological order.  “I only popped down into the cheese store to make a quick baguette and there he was standing there like a cheese king making his demands. He forced me to undertake a Stilton test and timed how long it would take

before I found the taste disgusting, I ate five huge pieces, he could eat two slivers of strong Stilton, before gurning. He was outraged at my determination and started throwing big packs of cheese at me. Because I have worked in all the top Paris kitchens, ducking a flying knife is very easy. This annoyed him more.  “I cannot take anymore cheese especially when I get a strong sniff of his latest Christmas song which he buys all day on iTunes. “I QUIT!”

F a

i r t h f f g e G


Dear Mike, My wife and I will soon be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary, I thought I might treat her to a concert by her favourite singer. Now I seem to remember she's especially fond on one particular artiste – a very rugged, masculine fellow, noted for his vibrant and resonant voice, who was certainly a hit with the ladies! I've a feeling this chap, possibly of Welsh origin, has, since coming to prominence in the 1960s, enjoyed remarkable longevity in his career – a career which has included such highlights as several seasons at Caesar's Palace in Vegas, collaborating with the Art of Noise and Stereophonics, and covering songs by Randy Newman and Prince. Indeed, so whipped up into a frenzy are his (mainly female) audience that he is showered with articles of undergarment at every performance. But beyond that I can recall nothing of him. Please help! Obviously I can't ask the wife because it'll spoil the surprise! Yours hopefully, Ian (SURNAME WITHELD FOR OBVIOUS REASONS) Hove.



014_LS554_barecheek-madmatt_Editorial 25/11/2011 15:46 Page 2

Read Matt’s full blog at mattwhistlerbrighton

e “ “ C s s i b

015_LS554_cityspeak_Editorial 24/11/2011 16:29 Page 1


Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw invites TV cameras into her home


had thought that the first was a bit earnest at first because public use of my beautiful new it takes a long time and several loft space would be a yoga or classes to understand the meditation class with a few principles of this type of exercise. friends, but it was much more At last a frustrated G remembered exciting than that. It was filmed! an idea to help women who find it I had offered to be interviewed difficult to locate their pelvic by Lynn Ruth Miller, a rather crazy floors (Lynn assured us with a elderly (even older than me) lady smirk that she had lost contact comedian. She was from San with hers years ago) G explained Francisco. Naturally. Where else that sucking your thumb can could she be from? sometimes help to Normal ladies in pull in this forgotten “The morning their seventies muscle. Needless to might join health say our lady from was spent clubs or even try California found this golf or gentle hilarious and the with breaks for jogging, but a stand whole morning was up comedian? thumb sucking” spent with breaks I’d rather join the for thumb sucking. street cleaners in Meanwhile I was Brighton town centre on a more worried about my beautiful Sunday morning. new thick-pile cream carpet Anyway, Latest TV is aiming to having coffee or tea spilt on it. win the race to become Channel 6 Also poor W, one of the camera and LLTV–Latest Local team, looked very unhappy. His Television–is making a pilot eyes were starting to run and he programme for this new TV was having trouble breathing. It channel from Brighton. The idea was a reaction to Bella my cat, behind the small bit I was to be in even though she is not allowed in was about was making the most the loft. His troubles increased of life and attempting new things when we went downstairs for my as one gets older. I suggested interview, and we had to open the bringing in my friend G who had windows for the poor chap before just celebrated her 80th and is a he passed out altogether. whiz at Pilates. She is easily top I am assured the take was of her weekly class in Patcham. very good and I look forward to The TV crew were delighted with seeing it. G said she will never use my light, airy loft space and thumb sucking again to teach quickly began G’s bit of filming. It pelvic floor exercises.

Will Harris raises a few eyebrows


had my eyebrows threaded once,”says M. “It hurt like hell and I looked permanently startled.” It is just another Friday evening at M’s, which – let’s face it – is ground zero for all the best material. ‘What hurt like hell?’ asks C, wandering into the lounge. “Threading,” says M. “The first few days I looked like David Gest, but it was totally worth it.’ “Don’t be so ridiculous!’ C strides over to the mirror above the fireplace. “Why would you want to mess around with your eyebrows? I can’t think of anything more narcissistic...” “––– does it,’ interrupts M. “––– has peck implants.” I shake my head at him. “Very bad example.” “Well,” says C, “I don’t think I need to.” “Then why do you keep looking in that mirror?” I ask. The door slams. Footsteps pound upstairs. M and I look at each other. “I didn’t think we’d get that strong a reaction,” I say. Eyebrows. Nowhere in the field of male grooming have so many been so divided over how to manage so few hairs. If you buy into the hype, you’ll know beauty experts have come to regard eyebrow maintenance as the key to total facial transformation. Just a few sweeps of the tweezers, they say, and you too might look like Brad Pitt. Only younger. And minus the bitch wife. Intrigued, I make an appointment at a threading salon near my home; a concession in a hairdresser’s. By which I mean a chair in a hairdresser’s.

Teen Spirit Tasha Dhanraj toes the line of good taste


am going to admit to doing chocolate that tastes like passion something that most of you will fruit! It sounds incredible. find irritating at best... I read Andy and I then spent the rest what the man sitting on the train of the journey exchanging texts next to me was typing on his about the chocolate man. The laptop. I think it’s only natural to more we found out about him, the glance over at someone’s more in awe we were. I computer for just a second and I desperately wanted to talk to know actually reading what him... I say talk to him... that’s they’ve put is a bit wrong, but I slightly misleading. I didn’t want couldn’t help myself. I saw that he to ask any questions about how typed the word he made the ‘chocolate’. I was on chocolate. All I the train with my wanted to know was boyfriend and we whether he had any were heading back to “I was hungry in his bag and if so, his place in whether I could and weak. I Wadhurst and all have some for free. he’d packed for us to had no power Trouble is, there eat was a plum. I was no way to was hungry and introduce myself over myself” weak. I had no power without the awkward over myself. conversation about And so yes, I kept how I not only know reading. Get over it. Everything he exactly what he was writing on his was writing was about chocolate. laptop, but also having to explain It was like the cruel gods had sent why I’ve researched his entire him to my carriage just to taunt curriculum vitae. me. He was writing about the The point of telling you all this quality of chocolate, how to taste is that we should all change our it, how to make it. It was magical. views on privacy. I want everyone I texted Andy who was sitting to start being less precious about opposite me. I told him what I had what they’re doing on the train. seen and instructed him to Google If you’re writing something the man’s name. He was a ridiculously awesome and I Michelin starred chocolate wizard! want to ask you about it, I (I don’t know the official term... should be able to do so without Chocolatier? Chocolate chef? feeling like either an evil spy or a Chocolista?) He runs his own creepy stalker. Especially if it’s chocolate factory and makes about food.

“What, here?” I ask, staring at the chair. (This is not really what I mean. What I really mean is: ‘What, two feet away from this middle-aged woman in foils, who is clearly only pretending to read Grazia and wearing an expression usually seen in the front row at public executions?’) “Yes,” says the therapist, gently. The chair is lowered backwards, dentiststyle, and she looms over me, winding a thin length of cotton between steady hands. “Do you get many male clients?”’ I ask, trying my best to relax into the sensation of line after line of tiny blond hairs being ripped from my face. “Yes, many men,” smiles the therapist. Around us, the salon is a buzz of activity. Women chatter. Hairdryers roar. The sound of turning magazine pages is conspicuous by its absence. “How many men would you say? An equal 50/50, or...?” “Yes, 50/50,” soothes the therapist. “I give up on my It is around now that I realise she isn’t really questioning and listening. I give up on my questioning, and concentrate on concentrate on trying trying not to cry” not to cry. “See,” she says, after approximately four and a half minutes of torture. “Much better. You want tissue?” That’s amazing, I think, turning the mirror to get a better view. I’d always assumed my eyebrows were fine, but I hadn’t realised how much difference a bit of careful shaping could make. I purposely raise one of my new pets, to see if I can bend it like Beckham. Nope. Elvira. follow me on twitter


Illustration: Graham Clark

William Tells


016_LS554_snapshots-comps _Editorial 25/11/2011 10:04 Page 2


Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Brighton & Hove Gay Men’s Chorus

Brighton has a real sense of community – it’s a city with a village atmosphere. We thrive on the fact that it’s full of so many different people, and what we see in the city never ceases to amaze us. Where else would you find a guy with a skate board walking down the street, next to a nun and a drag queen? Our songs tap into the feeling of growing up as gay men. There is one original song in the album, the rest are covers. the arrangements have a reflective quality of hope and love.

Chris Jessop, John Hamilton and Mark Hyndman of the Brighton & Hove Gay Men’s Chorus grabbed global attention when they announced a £1 million record deal with Universal (the label Lady Gaga is signed to). Their debut album is out Monday 5 December, capturing the more unusual repertoire of UK and American alternative rock and indie folk songs. The album features versions of songs by Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails and David Bowie. The Chorus formed six years ago and now has 30 members.



TV, film and stage star Nigel Havers leads the cast in this year’s swashbuckling pantomime, Peter Pan, at The Hawth, playing the villainous Captain Hook in Peter Pan. Crawley favourite Jon Clegg is back by popular demand and Kerris Peeling joins the cast as the perfect Peter Pan. Completing the cast are BBC Over The Rainbow finalist Sarah Middleton as Wendy, Lucy St Louis as Tigerlily and Isobel Hathaway as the rollerskating Tinkerbell.

The Hawth, Crawley, 9 to 31 December, visit or call 01293 553636 Win a family ticket to this brilliant Hawth panto! Q. What role is Nigel Havers playing in Peter Pan?


Robin Hood and his motley crew live in the enchanted Sherwood Forest, but the scheming Sheriff of Nottingham has the beautiful Maid Marion in his sights, can Robin save her? Will Eastbourne’s favourite Dame, Martyn Knight, ever find a man? What makes Will Scarlett? Starring TV baddy John Altman, (EastEnders’ Nasty Nick Cotton), and West End star Tracey Penn (Love Never Dies), your band of merry men will love this fun, family, feel-good pantomime. Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne, 9 December to 15 January. Visit or call 01323 412000 We have two family tickets for the 7pm performance on Thursday 15 December. Q. Where is Sherwood Forest?


Sing along with your favourite carols and Christmas songs at the first ever Martlet’s Christmas Musical Spectacular at Hove Town Hall on 18 December with performances from guest choirs from Brighton Theatre Group, Shine Theatre Company and Brighton Rock Choir. We have 10 pairs of tickets worth £10 each for lucky readers. Hove Centre, Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove, 18 December, or call 01273 709709 Q. Where is The Martlet’s Hospice?



with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 5 December 2011.

017_LS554_celebcity_Celebcity 25/11/2011 12:27 Page 1




Celebcity with Jo Brooks Amy Winehouse tribute, Peter Andre opens a coffee shop and The Kooks change direction

Back to black W

e’re still saddened by the untimely death of singing legend Amy Winehouse this year, but her legacy has touched Brighton in a multitude of ways. Mitch Winehouse, the singer’s beloved father, launched the Amy Winehouse Foundation following her passing and has since pledged £10,000 to Brighton’s children’s charity Chestnut Tree House. That’s not all though, after being blown away by a visit to the hospice, Mitch decided he would perform in honour of them for their fourth annual Snowball Spectacular Fundraising Ball. Mitch’s love of music was a great influence on Amy in her younger years and continued to play out within all of her work. Guests can expect some old time favourites and perhaps maybe a tribute to his remarkable daughter – it promises to be a special night all round. The Snowman Spectacular Ball takes place on Saturday 3 December at the Hilton Brighton Metropole but sadly tickets are already sold out!

PETER ANDRE’S CENTRAL PERK So Peter Andre has finally turned to his other love, besides singing and his kids, to open a coffee shop in East Grinstead. The New York Coffee Club sees Peter’s first venture into the catering industry, which he hopes to eventually go national with. Amy Childs has already stopped by for a hot chocolate and Aldo Zilli and Gino D’Acampo also popped in for a quick caffeine-fix. The hordes of screaming girls made sure that the cupcakes sold out within the first couple of hours and no doubt it’ll be generating quite a buzz for some time. We’re yet to visit but it promises real coffee and ‘great service’; we will resist any jokes about him liking his coffee like his women then.



Norman Cook Stephen Merwatching wife-hunting chant current ‘Hel on his lo La stand-up tourdies’ .

Have you spotted a celeb in the city?

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to

follow me on twitter


10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday until 7th December 2011 excluding bank holidays.  Only one voucher per table.  Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.

018_LS554_interview_Steve_Coogan_011_LS466_interview 23/11/2011 16:43 Page 2


L7 INTERVIEW and he’s right-wing and I’m not right-wing and I hate the Daily Mail. My feelings for Alan have changed up and down. Absence makes the heart grow fonder There was a break between the last series and when we brought him back for a tour a couple of years ago, and then we did these Mid-Morning Matters online...” You got a nomination for that, congratulations.... Thank you. And also the book. So we’re writing some more stuff now. We’ve come back to the character and it's fun. If I didn’t do other things I wouldn't like it but I do it infrequently enough. We only did two series. If I’d done the same thing every year for the last ten years, there’d be a lot less in it for me, it would just be a job, but I still like doing it; actually I've been writing Alan Partridge today in the office and I laugh, you know? I still find it funny. If I didn't enjoy it I wouldn't do it. Simple as that.” So you're going to do What Maisie Knew next... “I just finished that. That was in New York. That was an American feature film. See, because what I do is I either write, act and produce or I’m signed as an actor. So it’s quite a schizophrenic life. Certain things are my pet projects and other things I’m just a gun for hire. “What Maisie Knew was a drama in New York with Julianne Moore and me and Alexander Skarsgård, who er, I've never heard of before, but he's in a thing called True Blood... So there’s that and working on a couple of other films that I’m going to shoot next year, as well as Partridge. But I’m doing a few films next year that I’m quite excited about.” What did you want to be when you grew up? “I think I wanted to be an actor... yeah I wanted to do what I am doing.”

Steve Coogan is a very busy man, what with the return of Alan Partridge, his charity work with Amaze, and new film projects. Victoria Nangle grabs a chat with the star


teve Coogan is a movie star, a writer, a comedian, a producer and the reason a generation giggle themselves silly at two seemingly meaningless syllables: “Ah-ha!” He may be a son of Manchester but he’s got strong ties to Brighton, not least to local charity Amaze, which works with parents of children with special needs and is the cause for next week’s special screening of The Trip, which includes Q&As with its stars Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon. As he says politely when we thank him for the interview: “Well thank you, Amaze is something that I very much support.” Steve Coogan may be working on new eagerly-awaited Alan Partridge material, having just finished filming with True Blood hottie Alexander Skarsgård and four time Oscar-nominee Julianne Moore, but he’s got time for his second home town. “I do like Brighton. I’ve lived there for 12 years and I've adopted it you know.” And we’re very grateful for it. Victoria Nangle talks to the man behind Alan Partridge and so much more. Are you looking forward to the screening of The Trip for Amaze? “Yes, I am I suppose. I mean, when you’re in my line of work, once you’ve finished a film you see it a couple of times, sometimes it’s nice to revisit it and you read a few reviews and you might have a few screenings but then you don't really get much of an audience response...unless you're in one of these events.” Do you feel a connection with Brighton? “Of course I do. I chose to live here. I have some family here, but most of my family’s in Manchester. My home, I have to say, is Manchester. I'm a

northerner first, I’m a Brightoner second, but I do like Brighton. I’ve got affection for it and I like its tolerant nature. It's progressive, a little eccentric... I could never live somewhere like the Cotswolds or, God forbid, Chipping Norton where David Cameron lives, in a place that’s very conservative – I just couldn’t live there. You know, Brighton, it has its faults; it’s a bit cool and trendy or whacky and all the rest of it, and a bit self-conciously hip but I think it’s a wonderful town. It’s a great place to be, a great atmosphere and you feel safe. It feels friendly. You know when they do those surveys, Brighton always comes out really high as the happiest people and the happiest town.”

“I've been writing Alan Partridge today in the office and I laugh” Alan Partridge has become a huge brand. How have your feelings changed towards your creation over the years? “It’s like when you’re married and it’s for better for worse. The secret for me is I revisit Alan periodically. I don’t have to spend my whole life with him. If I did I’d go insane, but it's like an old school friend or something. He’s someone you see a couple times a year. He’s like family. He’s like your sibling or something – you don't want to live with him anymore but it's nice to see them. “Alan’s got aspects of me but there’s parts of Alan that are certainly not me. He’s a Daily Mail reader

Is there a hat you've yet to try? “I’ve never directed something, so that's the one hat I haven't tried on... and more dramatic roles, laced with humour rather then comedy with tiny little serious bits.” What Maisie Knew isn’t a comedy... “That's not funny at all... It’s pretty bleak. The problem, as you look forward to your career, is if you want to advance you have to do the same thing over and over again because then you’re saying one big idea and that's easier for the audience – they can latch on to create an image. But if you try to do lots of different things then it can be that they don’t know what it is you're supposed to be. But most actors don’t want to do the same thing over and over. I want to try and keep changing. I’m enjoying writing a lot, I like writing and I want to do some more of that.” What’s the best piece of advice you could give to people wanting to follow in your footsteps? [pause] “Don’t think that ordinariness or modesty of background is uninteresting, because if you're creative the things around you in you're environment, even if your views on lives might be perceived as boring or unremarkable, are actually very rich. You can find creativity on your doorstep; it's not something you have to go out and find. People say to me ‘where do you get your ideas from?’ as if they're somehow magic, but to me it's all around you. And I also think not being worried, not being frightened of using your own personality and not being worried about your weaknesses. For me it was not being bothered about trying to be cool and using things about your own personality and yeah, it’s comedy; it's not about worrying about being seen as foolish, because that can be a very reliable resource.” Screening in Aid of Amaze: The Trip, includes Q&A with Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon, Duke Of York’s Picturehouse, Thursday 8 December, 6–9pm, £16.50,,

019_LS554_JIVEmonkey__food 25/11/2011 15:33 Page 1


on the


MONKEY MAGIC The Jive Monkey is Brighton’s newest and most unique theatre & bar venue situated right in the heart of the city


ucked discreetly away at 5 Steine Street, The already receiving from those in the know. Jive Monkey is the brainchild of photographer A diverse roster of entertainment is booked, and producer Sam Eddison and Brighton which will treat audiences to live music, cabaret, actress Laura Nixon. Laura is famed for her and performance art from the unusual and tongue uncannily accurate onstage portrayal of Marilyn in cheek to the downright bizarre including Monroe as seen in the hit show Alive & Swinging screenings of cult movies with a heavy smattering With Marilyn Monroe which has been wowing of authentic live jazz. audiences at Brighton’s Komedia. Both Sam and Laura have a long history in the Sam and Laura’s vision of an intimate, entertainment business and so are looking forward adaptable performance space and laid back bar to being able to bring something totally new and has come to life in this venue which is set to be unique to the scene catering for those who like one of the city’s most loved venues. their entertainment a little more grown up. Two floors of monkey magic Open seven nights a week, are on offer. A luxurious ground The Jive Monkey is set to be “Imagine a dark floor bar with comfortable sofa a focus for performers and seating plus an upper floor the first port of call for featuring an intimate and multi- 1920s speakeasy those who want to see functional theatre space with quality entertainment or with the discretion of tables, chairs and bar, all fully just have a relaxed drink air conditioned as well as state in a non-pretentious but a gentlemen’s club of the art sound and lighting. glamourous setting. The upper theatre lends itself plus the excitement The Jive Monkey is a to a much more personal genuinely exciting addition of a Berlin cabaret” to Brighton’s infamous entertainment experience and many renowned performers performance scene and and jazz musicians are now compliments the lining up to take their place on a stage that allows entertainment already available in the city, them to truly connect with their audience. offering a warm welcome courtesy of Sam and Imagine a dark 1920s speakeasy with the Laura who never forget to put their audiences discretion of a gentlemen’s club plus the and customers first. excitement of a Berlin cabaret and you’ll have “We know exactly what it’s like to be both a some idea of the special atmosphere created in performer and a customer, and we wanted to this hidden gem of a venue and the attention it is create a genuinely friendly space that caters for


both,” says Laura. “We’re passionate about performance too and we were determined to be able to present top quality entertainment in an atmosphere that is conducive to that special audience/artist relationship. We’re thrilled that this is now happening and can’t wait to open to the public”. A full menu of wines, beers, ales, spirits and cocktails are on offer making this a great place to meet for pre or post theatre drinks and cabaret or just the most decadent place to meet with friends. Open from 5.30pm to midnight weekdays and 12pm to 2am weekends The Jive Monkey also plans regular happy hours from 5.30pm until 7pm. After a glittering launch party for friends and supporters The Jive Monkey opens its doors to the public on 2 December just in time to be part of the city’s Christmas party season. Two special dates in The Jive Monkey’s festive calendar are already setting tongues wagging when on Christmas Eve the magic starts with ‘The Masters Blues Brothers Christmas Show’. Whether you’re after Blues, Soul, Comedy or good old Rock ‘n’ Roll, this tribute show can bring any party to its feet and leave you shouting for MORE! What better way to ring in the new year than the ‘This Is Elvis’ spectacular, which comes to The Jive Monkey for this eagerly awaited date? Championed far and wide by international agencies, pop stars and the Edinburgh festival performer Jim Devereaux, this is about as close to the King of Rock ’n’ Roll as you’ll ever get. Don’t miss this rare chance to see one of the most amazing tributes ever! The Jive Monkey, 5 Steine Street, Brighton, BN2 1TE

020_LS554_W113_revitalise_Revitalise 25/11/2011 11:08 Page 2

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Double act Hove’s popular therapy centre Revitalise opens a second premises in Brighton


evitalise has just opened a second therapy centre on Western Road, Brighton. Their first centre out in Hove remains open, offering the same extensive classs and therapy list as before. It’s an exciting time for the owners, husband and wife team Clare and Richard Brown. They have nurtured Revitalise from a small business to a thriving city establishment offering a plethora of classes and a growth in loyal clientele. The second Revitalise therapy centre opened its doors to the public just last week. Situated at the Brighton end of Western Road, the new premises is convenient for those living in and visiting the city centre.

Clinic of the year


First 10 classes half price: pay just £75 (1 month expiry)

86 Church Road, Hove BN3 2EB 01273 738389 123A Western Rd (between Cambridge Rd and Brunswick Rd), Brighton 01273 710855

“The new centre is more of the same,” Clare tells Wave ahead of the opening. Well, if it ain’t broke, why fix it? It’s a winning formula – as proven in Revitalise’s recent win in the UK’s only dedicated complementary healthcare event: Camexpo. Clare and Richard took away the ‘Clinic of the Year’ award, having impressed the judges. “The winning clinic not only offers a wide range of therapies, it also has a great eco-friendly ethic using solar power and 100 per cent recycled paper in their marketing material,” the judges said. “They also have a health food store alongside the clinic selling health foods, ecover refills and vegan organic supplements.”

What’s new? 123A Western Rd, Brighton 01273 710855

6 week course for the price of 5 weeks, just quote ref: wave

Try any pilates or yoga class for only £5 before Christmas

Beginner, improver, intermediate, back care, pregnancy and post natal Pilates classes, daytime or evenings

• Free Power Plate class For new clients only. Following classes from £7.50 each • First 10 Power Plate classes 1/2 price Pay £75, save £75 (1 month expiry) • Yoga & Pilates classes only £5 Try any class for only £5 before Xmas • 6 weeks Pilates course for the price of 5 weeks Starting in January 2012 • 2 for the price of 1 On deep tissue massage, swedish massage & reflexology

• Low cost acupuncture clinic It’s business as usual over at Only £20 for a full treatment Revitalise in Hove. No classes have been stopped and all the To take advantage of these therapies on offer remain the special offers quote Latest 7 same. At the Brighton premises, when booking. a low cost acupuncture clinic is the new addition to Revitalise’s Book now on 01273 710855 business, with drop-in and prebooked sessions available. The popular Power Plate classes can also be enjoyed in the new centre; there are four plates in a spacious, air conditioned room filled with natural light. For the ultimate workout, Power Circuits can be tried (classes at peak times). Beginner, intermediate and massage Power Plate sessions are also offered. The second floor is home to two studios where Pilates and yoga classes are held. Pilates classes include back care and pregnancy Pilates. There are also four treatment rooms for therapies including massage (deep tissue, Swedish, aromatherapy etc) and reflexology. You could quite easily spend a whole day there! Don’t just take our word for it; check it out... Revitalise, 86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389,, and 123A Western Road, Brighton, 01273 710855,, Visit the website for more special offers. Low cost acupuncture is offered at the newly opened Revitalise Therapy Centre in Brighton

Small group, progressive courses and one on one tuition

Special reader offers at Revitalise

021_LS554_W113_waveworld_CNM 25/11/2011 14:55 Page 3

wave 21

It’s not you... Dating coach Tammy James answers your relationship questions My friend has recently split up with her boyfriend and now she wants us to go out every weekend like we did when we were both single. The problem is, I'm in a fairly new relationship. What do I do? When a relationship ends, it’s common to want to pick up the social life you had before and go places where you might meet a new partner. Your friend isn’t wrong in expecting you to do this but she needs to understand that your circumstances have changed. The key to this is balance; you should be there to support your friend but you can’t be her only means of support. Ultimately your friend is responsible for making her social life what she needs it to be, therefore you mustn’t feel guilty about not being able to see her every weekend. In the initial stages of a break up you should be there to offer tea and sympathy and check in with her to make sure she’s OK. In terms of your weekends, you should consider how frequently you

WAVE WORLD Health & beauty news & reviews WINTER SKIN CARE

The new Origins Youthtopia Lift collection is out 26 December exclusively at John Lewis, Arnotts and Voisins so start saving those Christmas pennies now! Youthtopia Firming Cream (£45) is the perfect skin rescue – perfect for prepping the skin ready for the new year. With orange blossom, cardamom seed and geranium essential oils and wonderful, natural ingredients, this is the perfect indulgent treat for smoother, younger looking skin. The science behind it: new findings show that age, stress, fatigue and the loss of hyaluronic acid can cause skin to lose its volume and contours. The key ingredient here is Commiphora Mukul – which is

can go out with her and still see your new boyfriend. Don’t feel bad about saying no – it’s easy to over commit in an effort to please everyone, but you have to accept that you can’t always do that. Ultimately, this is a great opportunity for your friend to go out and meet new friends that are in a similar situation to her and want to socialise more frequently. Check out and who both offer opportunities to socialise. I am five months pregnant. My boyfriend and I had planned this baby but as soon as I fell pregnant his attitude has changed: he goes out with his friends all the time, he’s been more argumentative and he’s stopped helping around the house. I’m worried he’s not going to do his share when the baby comes. Having a baby means big changes to your relationship and lifestyle. Everyone comes to terms with change at different rates, so despite

extracted from the root of a tree indigenous to India. It has been used in traditional Ayurvedic medicine for over 3,000 years and helps volumise and re-densify the skin’s appearance. Gentle, nourishing and revitalising without being greasy and gloopy!


The Flower In The Desert by Neil del Strother is one of those books selling fast, merely by ‘word of mouth’ recommendation. Even readers who are not interested in morality tales and simplistic fables portraying human qualities are recommending this book. The Flower In The Desert by Neil del Strother, a journalist and writer, now based in East Sussex outlines the life of Sati, an orphan child. We learn of Sati's early life, living alone after the death of his father. We walk with Sati into adolescence, manhood, marriage, community life and human responsibilities. Without religion, parents or schooling, Sati learns to follow his heart with truth and integrity. The Flower In The Desert is available from £5.50. Reviewed by Katharine O'Sullivan.


There are times when we all need an energy boost, especially in winter. But the caffeine packed energy drinks we often choose are chock full of chemicals. A natural alternative is

both wanting to have the baby, your partner may still be coming to terms with becoming a father and thinking about how a baby is going to impact on you both. I’m not excusing his behaviour – it doesn’t sound like he’s been supporting you through your pregnancy as you’d have hoped. You’ve got to have a discussion with him about how you’re both coping with the pregnancy and the support you’d like from him. I suspect that once the baby arrives, he’ll be there for you both as you expected. If he isn’t, then you need to consider what’s best for you and the baby. But I’d certainly urge you to wait until you’re settled into a routine with the new baby before making any big decisions. This is my last column for wave, however I can still be contacted at if you wish to get in touch, and you can read my relationship advice online at

Scheckter's OrganicEnergy. The blend of 100 per cent natural ingredients releases energy slowly over a longer period of time, creating a sustainable energy lift that avoids the short lift and sudden ‘crash’ of other energy drinks. All energy drinks have ‘effective ingredients’. Scheckter's OrganicEnergy drink is no different – except that all the ingredients are 100 per cent natural and organic. Extracts from organic raw green coffee beans and organic Guarana give the physical and mental boost from caffeine, Ginseng helps relieve stress and Gingko Biloba helps boost mental focus. Scheckter’s OrganicEnergy is available from Waitrose, Holland & Barrett and at health food stores nationwide and costs £1.45 for a 250ml can.


Protecting yourself against the flu virus is vital. Simple things like washing your hands thoroughly to stop the spread of germs are key. The seasonal flu jab is another preventative meassure and is particularly recommended to the elderly, women who are pregnant, and people with a long term illness. Boost your immune

Tammy James Msc, is director of, a coaching practice specialising in dating and relationships. Using a combination of coaching techniques and good old fashioned advice, provides one-to-ones and group workshops. Email: Web: Twitter: @itsnotyouitsme_

system as well with natural health supplement Immulina this winter. It works effectively to support the immune system, maintaining cells and safe-guarding you against illness and virus. Available from Revital, Nutri Centre, pharmacies and health food stores,£25.50 for 30 capsules.


A staggering 8.5 million people in Britain suffer from back pain, caused by arthritis (a topic explored in detail in Latest 7 last issue). To help ease arthritic pain, Power Health has launched a new Green Lipped Mussel tablets, to soothe swollen joints and arthritic pains. Carefully selected active ingredients, Hyaluronic Acid, Turmeric and collagen, help maintain flexible and healthy joints. Ideal for arthritis sufferers – those with back or neck pain; people who experience stiff or swollen joints; and athletes who need to maintain good joint health to prevent injury. £6.25 for 20 capsules from follow me on twitter


022_LS554_W113_CNM_CNM 24/11/2011 11:37 Page 2

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Dear Jacquie Your queries about natural health answered by Jacquie Lane from the College of Naturopathic Medicine Dear Jacquie Help! The party dress season is looming and I can’t fit into anything I like! Any tips on dropping a dress size in the next three weeks? OP, Hove Quick weight loss and fad diets are not healthy; a continuous healthy lifestyle and food plan is best. However, if you are healthy you might be able to follow this plan for two- to three-weeks maximum. (You are advised to see your doctor before embarking on a restrictive weight loss diet.) Weight loss and dress size reduction will depend on your metabolism and your size at the start. A personalised plan from a nutritional therapist is best as this takes into account your preferences, medical history and lifestyle. Eat on a small plate and chew food properly. Relax and reduce stress which hinders proper digestion and makes your body hang onto fat.

Lunch: 120g portion of either grilled meat, fish, poultry (remove any skin or fat), or prawns, low fat cottage cheese or two hard boiled eggs. Eat with lots of salad greens, tossed in two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar with one tablespoon of flax, hemp or olive oil. Dinner: 120g of either Tofu, fish, chicken or lean beef (grilled or cooked without fat) with two portions of steamed green vegetables. Drizzle a dressing of apple cider vinegar and a tablespoon of good oil. Tip: Don’t cook with oils or fat, add them raw to food afterwards especially flax oil and hemp oils. Snacks: Celery sticks, cucumber sticks, pepper sticks, green olives (12 small ones a day max) gherkins (6 small ones a day max).

Breakfast: Two eggs, poached or boiled, with steamed spinach or 100g of mackerel, kippers, smoked salmon or haddock with one poached egg or 1 x 120g portion of 0% fat Greek plain yoghurt (add a pinch of cinnamon if you wish) and one boiled egg.

Drinks: Try and have five cups of green tea, limit the amount of other tea and coffee and drink two litres of water each day. Exercise: Pilates and yoga two–three times a week; walk fast for 30 minutes every day, and avoid tough cardiovascular workouts. See your health professional for advice.

Jacquie Lane is a lecturer at the College of Naturopathic Medicine (CNM) and the Director of Studies at CNM in Brighton. Jacquie also runs her own nutrition clinic in Brighton and manages a biological testing lab specialising in digestive issues.

CNM open evening If you would like to train to become a nutritional therapist, please book to attend CNM’s next open evening in Brighton. 01342 410505,

023_LS554_W113_kidsgifts_editorial 25/11/2011 14:44 Page 2


The magic of Christmas Latest 7 finds the perfect gifts for youngsters to guarantee a memorable Christmas time


Mothercare offers practical products and lovely gifts from pregnancy and birth through to school-age children. We love this First Christmas Bear (£10–£15) – a wonderful, cuddly keepsake for a baby. Available from Mothercare, Churchill Square, Brighton,


hopping for babies or young children this Christmas? Seeing youngsters’ faces light up with excitement is surely what Christmas is all about. If you’re stuck for gift ideas stick to wonderful keepsakes – especially for a baby’s first Christmas. If you want to buy something that’s fun but helps their development too, then Early Learning Centre is always a popular choice. Find cute outfits from high street favourite Next and George at Asda, and if you’re looking for something unique, check out what’s on offer at the gorgeous Bluebelle & Co right here in Brighton. At Bluebelle & Co presents can be themed from pirates and racing to fairies and farmyard animals. After shopping for all this lot, make sure you don’t forget the wrapping paper!

My First Christmas snow globe, £8 from Mothercare.

My First Christmas fabric photo album, £10 from Mothercare.

Mamas & Papas

Cheeky little monkeys will love this equally cheeky Reindeer Giggle Toy, £8. Mamas & Papas is available from Frills All Round, Uckfield and from

Bluebelle & Co Gorgeous children’s clothing, babywear, toys, gifts, women’s accessories, homeware and sleepware. Bluebelle and Co is a beautiful one stop shop a stone’s throw from Brighton Station. For a baby’s nursery we love the pirate bunting, £14.99; pirate knitted jumpsuit, £19.99; and pirate cot quilt, £42.99. Bluebelle & Co, 80 Trafalgar street, Brighton BN1 3JA,

Early Learning Centre

Racing fun for boys and girls with this Whizz Around Garage, ideal for ages 12 months+. £40 Early Learning Centre, Churchill Square, Brighton,

Mamas & Papas Promise Collection includes silver gifts from a money box to egg cups. Keepsakes children can cherish. £25–£55, from Mamas & Papas.


Little girls can be a Christmas fairy this year with this adorable tutu from high street favourite Next. From £14. Next at Hollingbury and Shoreham,

It’s back to nature for little boys with this perfect ensemble: print jacket, £15; animal T-shirt and trousers set, £15; fleece shoes from £6, from Next.

George at Asda

These colourful Alphabet Blocks make for fun learning and interactive play. For ages 12 months+, £10, from Early Learning Centre.

Lightning McQueen fans will love this Cars hat, scarf and gloves set. The best bit for parents: it’s a practical present too! £7. From George at Asda, Hollingbury and Brighton Marina.

024_LS554_W113_xmas beauty spa_editorial 25/11/2011 15:05 Page 1



SLEIGH BELLES Shine like a star with these must-have beauty buys MAC For a perfect, flawless finish try MAC Satin Finish SPF 15 Foundation (£22.50) – great for dry, winter skin, this is wonderfully moisturising. Finish the look with Mac Mineralize Blush in ‘gentle’ (£19) for a healthy winter glow.

The Perfume Shop If you want to watch the wasitline this Christmas, indulge in this sweet treat from Prada instead: Candy (£39.50–£69.50) is the ultimate Xmas fragrance – flirty, fun and delicious. Want Candy? Now we do!

2True Add some sparkle and change your look with 2True cosmetics. We love the new Fast Dry Nail Polish in Shade 5 – a hot pink hue perfect for parties. New Incredilash Mascara is a lipgloss size so is ideal to keep in your handbag. The wand gently separates lashes for a full, flirty finish. Finish the look with Glossywear Lipstick in Shade 3 (psst: it looks great with MAC’s blush). Available exclusively from Superdrug

Benefit To really glow this festive season try Benefit High Beam (£18.50). Only a small amount is needed for a radiant complexion and it suits all skin tones. It’s called the ‘supermodel in a bottle’ for a good reason. Turn heads.

Time to unwind

A relaxing haven awaits down Brighton Marina at the newly opened Spa Tara


pa Tara is now open down Brighton Marina, joining the ever expanding parade of boutique shops, restaurants and range of leisure activities on offer. Situated by Brighton’s very own Walk Of Fame, next to outlet clothes store Pilot, Spa Tara is a welcome addition to the Brighton Marina landscape, offering a relaxing haven away from the hustle and bustle of the city centre. People choose Brighton Marina as a shopping destination because of the free parking, laid-back atmosphere and outlet store prices. It’s so easy to grab a bite to eat at one of the number of restaurants and cafés, browse the shops and art gallery, or go and see a film at the nearby cinema. And now, with the addition of Spa Tara, Brighton Marina is a place for health, beauty, rejuvenation and relaxation.

Inside Spa Tara Spa Tara covers huge ground floor premises next to the Seattle Hotel, so what could be better than a weekend away, enjoying a relaxing therapy at Spa Tara before heading to your room at the hotel next door? With its space and convenient location, Spa Tara is perfect to unwind with friends in the

run up to Christmas parties, or enjoy a relaxing hen day. There is even a double therapy room, which is perfect for couples. The oriental décor, low lighting, dark wood, and comfortable reception area is welcoming. The premises has been transformed from its original incarnation as a clothes store. It’s been painstakingly and stylishly refurbished over the last four months to create the ultimate spa haven, fulfilling the vision of Kai, the owner. The therapy rooms are beautiful, the treatments are of high quality and the team are polite, friendly and professional. What more could you want from a spa visit?

Foot notes For the Christmas party season ahead, The Ultimate Manicure and Pedicure are the perfect treatments. If you have a hectic month ahead of Christmas shopping, entertaining and partying, an hour of having your feet pampered is definitely in order. After a five minute consultation for new clients, the

Lush Sparkle and smell gorgeous with Lush Lustre Body Powder (£10). Simply dust onto the skin for a wonderful healthy glow this Christmas.

Highlights of Spa Tara treatments • Spa Tara Massage 60 minutes, £70 • Hydrotherapy 25 minutes, £25 • Skin Smoothing Indulgence treatment begins: Wellness ritual, feet are washed in 2 hours, £120 gold bowls (with the surrounding décor, • The Ultimate Manicure you will feel like 55 minutes, £42 royalty). Nail polish colour is chosen • The Ultimate Pedicure before a warm eye 55 minutes, £42 mask, scented with relaxing lavender, lets • Waxing From £12 you tune out. Feet are scrubbed, and nails • Eyebrow & are filed and shaped eyelash tint £28 in a wonderful routine that you don’t want to end. Dry skin is moisturised, tired heels are massaged, and then nail colour is applied (that will look perfect with those peep-toe heels this Christmas). While the colour dries, a head and shoulder massage provides the perfect end to a relaxing therapy. It’s only when you stop and put your feet up you realise the stress and strain you put your feet through. Stop and unwind at Spa Tara and avoid a burnout this Christmas. Spa Tara, 12–13 The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, BN2 5WA, 01273 683351,

025_LS554_W113_H&B gifts_editorial 25/11/2011 15:17 Page 2


SHOW YOUR BEST SIDE Wave finds health and beauty gifts that will go down a treat this Christmas from organic oils to aqua therapy and make-up parties! Watsu Aqua Therapy Treat your loved one to a Watsu Aqua Therapy Voucher this Christmas. Experience the incredible therapeutic benefits of total weightless in warm water; gentle glides, stretches and fluid movements free your spine and joints from the compression of gravity. Physical pain eases away, muscles relax and as the journey unfolds your mind and body travel to a place of deep relaxation. Watsu is ideal for pain relief, stress and anxiety, and is perfect for use during pregnancy. Vouchers available for one hour treatments (£60) and half hour treatments (£40). Sessions for couples/groups also available. “By far and away the most amazing treatment I have ever had – utter peace and tranquility.” – Kate, mother and osteopath. Contact Judy at Watsu Aqua Therapy on 07776 161 547,, You Tube – Watsu Brighton

Lush The perfect stocking fillers and secret Santa gifts can be found at Lush. Get the star treatment with the lovely, strawberry fragranced Superstar Bubble Bar (£2.25) or Magic Wand Bubble Bar (£4.95). Bumper gift sets packed with Lush products are also available. These will leave you smelling gorgeous into the new year. Available from Lush, East Street, Brighton and online at

NHR Organic Oils Our favourite oils this month include essential oils of Frankincense, Myrrh, Camelina ‘Gold of pleasure’ massage oil, and, of course, the Christmas Spice blend. Deliciously divine organic gifts fit for a King! NHR Organic Oils, 24 Chatham Place, Brighton, BN1 3TN,’

Tom Ford The new Violet Blonde fragrance from Tom Ford follows in the footsteps of previous favourites White Patchouli and Grey Vetiver. Time and care goes into every ingredient sourced for Tom Ford’s fragrances. This new fragrance connotes elegance, which is reflected in the stylish, ribbed bottle with the Tom Ford golden stamped plaque. Musky and woody, with Violets, Jasmine Sambac and Orris (root of the Iris), this rich fragrance is distinct, longlasting and warm – making it perfect for winter. Tom Ford – Violet Blonde, £45–£85. For stockists call 0870 034 2566

Golden Girl Step out and turn heads! Whether it's a girls’ night in, or a girls’ night out, Golden Girl will offer you an individual beauty service like no other, tailored to meet your needs. Siobhan Regan of Golden Girl is a professional make-up artist and also offers facials, Swedish body massage and full body spray tans. Book a Christmas make-up party to learn how to create smouldering, evening looks. Christmas make-up special offer: two people for the price of one. Please call for more details. Contact Siobhan Regan on 07947 402 645.


079747 402645

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Dear guest NHR Organic Oils SHOP OPENING PARTY 15% OFF DELICIOUSLY DIVINE GIFTS Bring this advert to our Shop Opening Party at 24 Chatham Place, Brighton BN1 3TN, (just off the 7dials round-about) during the first 12 days of Christmas to claim your discount. From the 1st -12th December, enjoy our FREE samples, PRIZE DRAW (win up to £50 in vouchers), FREE hand massages, sample our tea, Aromatherapychocolates and try home-made treats made with our food grade organic essential oils.  For more details please see our website:, or contact us on 01273 746505. Sign up to our NEW blog to keep updated and share yummy recipes:

*Discount excludes books, teas, and healing eye pillows.



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FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION Brighton, Hove, East Sussex & London Practices

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NHR Organics cordially invites you to their opening party celebrations on the first 12 days of December When: Thursday 1 –Monday 12 December From: 10am–4pm Where: NHR Organics, 24 Chatham Place, Brighton, BN1 3TN – just off the Seven Dials roundabout. Come along to the opening and enjoy free samples, free hand massages, enter the prize draw, sample tea, aromatherapy chocolates and try home-made treats made with food grade organic essential oils. At last, the NHR Organics Brighton shop has been redecorated and is looking lovely! It is now a bright, nurturing space in which to experience wonderful organic products. On offer is a delightful selection of organic essential oils, organic aromatherapy chocolates, healing eye pillows and other goodies for you to sample. Experienced staff will be more than happy to share their enthusiasm for the oils and help you choose. The shop is already open for business but to celebrate, you are invited to visit during the first twelve days of Christmas when they have a grand opening planned. It’s the perfect antidote to hectic Christmas shopping. Come by and experience all the lovely products for yourself. Plus, if you leave your contact details you will be entered into the Grand Prize draw to win one of the following gifts: 1st prize: £50 gift voucher, 2nd prize: £25 gift voucher and 3rd prize: £15 gift voucher. Bring along this invite to receive a 15% discount* off any in-store purchase! For more details call 08453 108066, or sign up to the blog to keep updated and share delicious recipes: Don’t miss their official opening party on Monday 5 December, 5pm–7pm. NHR Organics, 24 Chatham Place, Brighton, BN1 3TN, *Discount excludes books, teas, and healing eye pillows.

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st ed Ju rd A a A tte aw an se Ro

finalist in the


THE STARS COME OUT Revenge plays host to the latest act to leave the X Factor every Friday night


Pics: Patrick Kneath

2011 has seen the most controversial X Factor season to date with the contestants grabbing more front-page headlines than ever before. After Amelia Lilly wowed the crowds in the very first ‘X Factor Fridays’ event at Revenge, she is now back in the game and looks set to go straight to the finals. With so many exclusive acts going straight to Revenge just five days after leaving the show, Revenge is the first club in the UK to see the acts live, so the next few weeks look very exciting as the very best of the talent is still left. Revenge is rounding off the ‘X Factor Fridays’ season on 16 December with a huge homecoming for the show’s most controversial act, Brighton boy Frankie Cocozza. Don’t miss ‘X Factor Fridays’ every week for a chance to see the very best acts still left in the show, with a guaranteed meet and great with the stars, which could include Misha B, Marcus, Little Mux and many more. Brighton, it’s time to face the music! For up to the minute information ‘like’ them on or call the club direct for group bookings 01273 606064.

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Food & Drink Andrew Kay gets a good talking to at The Swan in Kemp Town

Sussex Squared A

s a new resident of Sussex Square Mr R and I are gradually getting our bearings and finding where and where not to go. Lidl is up there and unlike some I shop there without wearing a Hermés headscarf and Jackie O’s. I also like Mama’s Café in Whitehawk where the breakfasts are excellent. But top of our list right now are Hudson and Bridges at 237 Eastern Road which we gravitated to whilst moving for coffees and light lunches and The Swan which is owned and run by the same team. You might remember that I reviewed the Swan a while back and gave it top marks for simple food served well in stylish surroundings for an affordable price. And since then we have returned and had equally good food, still sensibly affordable and great wine at decent prices too. They seem to have grasped the fact that in times of recession we are all tightening our belts, well at least those of us who can tighten our belts, I have run out of belt to tighten of late. Last week we went along to a special event at The Swan, the sixth in a series of supper talks aptly titled Up Your Street, hosted by Chris and Gary and delivered by the lovely Rose Collis, she of The New “A very good deal Encyclopaedia Of Brighton, an excellent tome on the history of our indeed, food, drink, great city full of facts and fun too. That indeed is the Collis way, loads of education and info delivered with charming entertainment” informality and with plenty of anecdotal chuckles along the way. If you want your history dry, in every sense, then try elsewhere but for me the combination of humour, good food, wine and an excellent speaker made for a great night out. We shared our table with two very nice ladies and chose our food from a special menu which had been created for the evening. Mr R had a honeyroast carrot and butternut squash soup with light rye bread and I had the rarebit bites, a rich mix of cheese and Arundel ale toasted on sourdough bread. Both were excellent and warming too, as it was the first really cold evening so far this winter. To follow we both chose the chicken and chestnut mushroom casserole with rustic mash and steamed autumn greens. The casserole was good, the chicken falling apart and deep red with wine, the mash well seasoned and creamy and the kale and broccoli perfect. One of the ladies had the asparagus, broad bean and roasted garlic risotto and salad and declared that it too was good. Conversation by this point filled the busy room as people chattered away and it was with difficulty that Mr Gull managed to quieten us for the main event. For her final talk in the series Rose was tackling Sussex Square and Sussex Mews. We settled back and listened whilst she delivered her talk. It


could have been dull, I mean really dull, leaden and fact filled with dates. It was not. It was funny, informative and entertaining. Sussex Square has had more than its fair share of rich and famous residents, and an endless list of hilariously named girls schools and girls school mistresses and more than its fair share of nobility. Our own home was once destined to be home to Queen Victoria’s mother but it fell through. I hasten to add that we live in what was the pantry and the boot boy’s cupboard and not in one of the grand apartments. Desserts arrived during the latter part of the talk, good old fashioned trifle and a hot fruit salad both of which went down very well. Having arrived at just after 6.30 I finally left at 10.45, very happy indeed to have heard the talk, eaten so well and met some very nice new people. In response to a call from a regular reader I will try to include an indication of prices where I can in future and no better way to start than here. The event cost £22 a head which included three courses, the talk and a half bottle of house wine. Now in today’s difficult financial times that has to be seen as a very good deal indeed; food, drink, education and entertainment. Hats off to Chris, Gary and the lovely Rose Collis. We have already booked for their next event, an evening in celebration of Charles Dickens in Brighton on Tuesday 20 December at 7pm, a collaboration between Rose Collis, Gary Blair and Emma Kilbey with dramatic readings of his work. The Swan, 9 Rock Street, Brighton, BN2 1NF, 01273 606138 The Lovely Rose Collis

Do you like a bit of talk with your supper?

Light Bites What the Dickens! DICKENS, BRIGHTON AND CHRISTMAS If you are tempted by the above then here are the details of the forthcoming Dickens event at The Swan: Rose Collis is joining forces with the Swan Players (Gary Blair and Emma Kilbey) in a fabulously festive evening, to bring Dickens, his works and numerous connections to

Brighton, to an appreciative audience as they enjoy a four course meal. Rose has spent the last year researching Dickens/Brighton

links, ahead of the bicentennial of his birth in February 2012, and this ‘Super Supper Club’ will be the first opportunity to hear the results of that research – presented with a lot of candlelight, in the spirit of those dramatic readings Dickens excelled in. Tickets, to include both the performance, four course festive supper and half a bottle of wine per head – £37.50. Call 01273 606138 to book. Tuesday 20 December. Doors open 6:30pm Meal orders taken from 7pm. The Swan Bar and Bistro, 9 Rock Street, Brighton, BN2 1NF

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HOTLIST The Townhouse Restaurant Kemp Town

L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit British & modern European Bardsley’s

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Breeze Brasserie

A bright, chilled restaurant, Breeze is situated on North Laine’s busy Trafalgar Street. Relaxed and upbeat, Breeze’s atmosphere matches its name, with friendly service and an informal, vintage style look combining exposed brick with reclaimed clocks and mirrors and modern café seating and comfy banquettes. Inspired by Modern European cuisine, Breeze serves brasserie style food, plus a good selection of heartier rustic dishes made with local produce, throughout the day – breakfast, lunch and dinner – as well as offering a well stocked bar for those lazy evenings enjoying cocktails and good food. Breeze is the perfect addition to Brighton’s dining scene. Breeze, 98 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4ER, 01273 693377,

The Foragers

The team behind this multi award-winning Hove institution have come up with an inspired Christmas menu and are offering a complimentary bottle of Prosecco to all festive bookings of 10 or more. Which all sounds a bit too good to be true, but it is, so pick up the phone and get yourselves a lovely bottle of bubbly! Great news: The Foragers has another award under their belt, having just been awarded an AA rosette! The Foragers, 3 Stirling Place, Hove, BN3 3YU 01273 733134,

The Gallery Restaurant – The Lanes If you’re looking for an independent restaurant offering some of the very best steaks and British dishes then why not try The Gallery Restaurant? Located in an old fishing cottage in the very heart of Brighton’s Lanes, The Gallery Restaurant prides itself in offering the very best dishes, service and ambience – British style! In the summer they boast one of Brighton’s largest alfresco terraces with live jazz day and night, and in the winter the mood is relaxed and welcoming. Try their lunch set

menu: one course for £7.95 or two courses for £10.95, and in the evenings two courses for £14.95 or three courses for £18.95. 28 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL 01273 773327,

The Loop Café-Bar & Coffee House

Nestling on Kemp Town seafront is this contemporary Anglo-Brazilian café-bar with a menu that features traditional English fare as well as some tasty Brazilian dishes. Whether you choose one of the stylish red sofas, or the sunny south-facing front terrace, you can enjoy free Wi-Fi while you savour the homemade food and great selection of coffees. Open 11am–8pm Monday–Friday, 10am–7pm Saturday and Sunday. 16 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 677944,

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting. Locally-owned and aiming to be the Cheers of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A fantastic wine list, selected mainly from local merchants by GQ wine columnist Jonathan Ray, compliments their wholesome and satisfying food. Kids’ menu great value. Open Mon–Thurs, 5pm–9.30pm; Fri–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm, and open all day bank holidays. Plus the garden is now open for summer! 120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200,

The Restaurant At Drakes

Awarded two AA Rosettes and having achieved the highest score in The Good Food Guide 2011 for the second consecutive year, The Restaurant At Drakes really has earned it’s reputation as Brighton’s finest restaurant. Using only premium quality seasonal produce, Head chef Andrew Mackenzie and his team create superb modern European cuisine. Regularly changing two or three course dinner and lunch menus available daily or for a true foodie experience, opt for the gourmet five course Chef’s Taster Menu. For an extra special touch, an elegant private dining room, with dedicated waiter is available for parties of up to 12 guests. The new summer terrace at Drakes is now open for informal alfresco lunches – perfect for well deserved sundowners after work. 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934,

The Townhouse is discovering itself as a home for all, with a dining area, lounge bar, private function suite and a piano room. The head chef brings all his prestige from The London Dorchester to create a menu specialising in locally sourced steaks, seafood and vegetarian dishes, that fits the Brighton way. Whether you want a quick lunch or wish to stay the evening, they promise you a warm welcome that will make you not want to leave! Enjoy the live pianist Wednesday and Friday nights, 8pm–10pm, or the resident jazz band for Sunday roasts, 5pm–7.30pm. Don't forget their great value lunch set menu (two courses £11.95, three courses £15.95 ) and evening (two courses £15.95, three courses £18.95 ), which runs Monday toThursday. For promotions visit their website or call them. 81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton BN2 1PA, 01273 693216,

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321,

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

Mange Tout

Mange Tout is an independent bistro that opened two years ago. Great French cooking and fresh, local, ethical produce has proved to be a success. Visit for breakfast for the acclaimed eggs Mange Tout, lunch for the daily specials or dinner for refined French classics. Local beers and carefully selected wines or just a freshly squeezed orange juice with your breakfast! Mange Tout, 81 Trafalgar street, BN1 4EB, 01273 607270

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs. No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude: everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm. 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415

Indian Chaula’s

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,

The Chilli Pickle

The Green Mango

Local champion of regional Indian cuisine using seasonal, Sussex produce. For lunch you can feast upon a selection of awardwinning King Thalis, street snacks, dosas, Romali Roti wraps and Kathi Kebabs. There’s plenty of choice for vegetarian gourmands to enjoy too.The Chilli Pickle has been


recognised with a Michelin Bib, 2 AA rosettes, voted Top 100 UK Restaurant in The National Restaurant Awards and runners up in this year’s Brighton Foodie Awards.Lunch is served 12pm–3pm; Dinner 6pm–10.30pm Closed Tuesdays. Booking essential. 17 Jubilee Street, Brighton BN1 1GE, 01273 900383,

Indian Summer

Nationally acclaimed and a favourite with locals, Indian Summer is celebrating its 10th anniversary. Serving favourites like masala dosa and bhel puri, the menu is influenced from genuine recipes covering south, north, and central india. For lunch you can choose two courses for £10 or a new tapas street menu with four choices for 11.95. An elegant evening set menu starts at £21.95. Booking is strongly advised. For offers and events find them on Facebook. 69 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ, 01273 711001,

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477,

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135,

Mediterraneo Deli

Mediterraneo Deli is indeed a family business, dedicated to serving you the best tasting, truly genuine and most authentic Sicilian food. The family-run deli offers mouth-watering daily specials, birthday cakes made to order and typical Sicilian products. They enjoy catering for all events from lunch meetings to dinner parties and weddings. Every dish is prepared daily and served fresh to order with ingredients genuinely sourced from Sicily. Open 9am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10am–3pm Sat, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton, BN1 4NP, 01273 674350,

Thai The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we’re open every day, so come down and “gin yur yur” (eat a lot!) 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226,

Wine bar Plateau

Plateau is a unique bar à vin and restaurant. They have put a great deal of time and love into selecting their wines. To soak up their wine they serve ‘bites’, small dishes that are perfect to share or great as a starter. Follow your ‘bites’ with a ‘plat’ or ‘plateau’ and that’s their dinner experience. But don’t forget to try their cocktails! Plateau, 1 Bartholomews, Brighton, BN1 1HG, 01273 733085

Ten Green Bottles

Both a wine shop and bar, we offer an exclusive range of wines to take home or enjoy here by the glass or bottle, sourced direct from artisan producers across Europe. Private tasting events can be organised, and, because we charge just a small corkage on a bottle to drink in, avoiding the usual markup, they are certainly the best value in Brighton for good quality wine! 9 Jubilee Street, Brighton, BN1 1GE, 01273 567176,

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

032_033_LS554_reviewsbookings_Reviews 25/11/2011 12:37 Page 2



L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at

The number one party venue in Europe’s sexiest city – BRIGHTON!



You make the booking, we make it happen. Tell us what you want, we’ll provide it all. A fabulous party and you have to do nothing!

NEW!! We can now film your party in high definition and give you a DVD to take away with you at amazing introductory prices. We are the first venue in the UK to offer this.

CALL JENNI OR RUTH ON 01273 687171 OR EMAIL BOOKINGS@THELATEST.CO.UK Birthdays Weddings Civil Partnerships Office Parties Hen and Stag Nights

tephen Merchant is the first solo act I have ever seen that fits the Brighton Centre stage beautifully. By that I mean there is no rigmarole of massive sets, just a stripped back, black background, three video screens and all six foot nine of Merchant putting the usually large stage into glorious perspective. Moving with a gangly grace to exploit the physical comedy, from demonstrating the logistics of wooing at such a great stature to dancing abilities, Merchant’s height was the elephant in the room that was invited to come and join the party. Comparisons to Ricky Gervais, his writing partner from The Office, Extras and more recently Life’s Too Short, will be inevitable, and although there is that element of arrogance Merchant plays around with, it’s not central to his on stage persona in the way Gervais adopts his strutting. Merchant’s background and experience in stand up (something Gervais came to his touring without) delivered an easy rapport with his audience around the large room, prompting huge laughs and a real fondness for the star. The slight jarring of his BAFTA bragging and penny-pinching anecdotes aside, the set flowed well in a low key personal manner, with a fabulous surprise encore comprising of a re-enactment of a GCSE playlet Marchant had rediscovered. It’s authenticity may be in question but it elicited laughs of honest recognition for a time of different buzzwords from today’s grownup business. Merchant’s support act Josh Widdicombe may be recognised by regulars of the live comedy circuit and his burgeoning TV appearances, but it was good to see his good-natured indignation getting this wider live audience on an arena tour. Victoria Nangle


The sparse stage was easily filled by Matthew Houghton’s assured performance as the bad boy made good, whose fall from grace was as quick and complete as his rise to infamy. Beginning by reminiscing in a pub, Franklyn McCabe’s piece cherry-picked key points from Bindon’s life, including working for the Krays and Ken Loach, dalliances with Princess Margaret, instigated by her interest in his supersized ‘advantage in life’ and being embraced and then shunned by the fickle world of celebrity. Houghton played Bindon like a Keith Moon gangster – a cheeky

chappie with an undercurrent of extreme menace and violence. The Old Market, 18 November JJJJJ Steve Clements


Axis Of Awesome are quite the internet phenomenon, with their massively successful YouTube hit ‘Four Chords’ attributed to filling the entire downstairs at Komedia (and closing the set to an appreciative crowd); it was quietly satisfying to find they were no one-trick comedic musical ponies. Opening with stadium prog rock, shaking their thangs in a tightly melodic boy band pastiche and simply embracing the

032_033_LS554_reviewsbookings_Reviews 25/11/2011 12:38 Page 3

BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART 33 absurd with their favourite, ‘Birdplane’, the versatility was great fun. At times a little too reminiscent of their fellow Antipodeans Flight Of The Conchords, specifically with the breathy ‘Sexual Harassment’, the set was over too fast despite the entertaining filler banter. These guys have a good show, a fun journey, but never quite reached the crescendo their joint talent musically and comedically promises. Komedia, 21 November JJJJJ Victoria Nangle

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On sale this week…



TOP 10

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 12 December 2011, £18, 01273 709709, A last minute announcement and tickets are selling faster than any hot cakes from any abstract baker could. It’s a special charity gig to raise funds and awareness for the Burma Campaign.

1 The Magik Word Break Free (Terrorvision) 2 Nick Conroy Better Days 3 Nick Conroy Forever



In a programme that included Schumann, Chopin, Schoenberg and Schubert, Uchida not only proved her versatility and technique but also her extraordinary sense of style and interpretive skills. One moment she is teasing the gentlest murmurings from the piano, the next commanding great waves of near orchestral sound, delicate then gigantically forceful. Her playing is a richly textured aural experience that extracts from both the instrument and the written works the most extraordinarily moving experience. Her playing of Chopin highlighting how innovative his writing was, her rendering of the Schoenberg making ‘difficult’ work fascinatingly approachable. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 21 November JJJJJ Andrew Kay


Whilst the talent of the former Rolling Stones’ rhythm and blues supergroup is clearly undeniable, tonight’s show was disappointingly underwhelming. There’s something strangely tragic about watching musical pioneers who have survived the hedonistic world of rock and roll running through a wellrehearsed set, complete with the occasional old man dance move. Their performance was almost too clinical, lacking the wicked, fiery spark that rhythm and blues originally had at its core. A guest appearance by Mary Wilson added some welcome variety, but it only momentarily lifted the show out of a wave of blandness that overshadowed the band’s obvious skills. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome 23 November JJJJJ Adam Lindsay Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows?

Latest Brighton Download Chart

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 11 December 2011, £7.50, 01273 709709, Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus are excited to announce that they will be joined on stage by wonderful June Brown, iconic Dot Cotton in BBC1’s EastEnders. Also joining the boys on stage will be the award-winning comedienne Zoe Lyons, cabaret artiste Lorraine Bowen and talented vocalist Jodie Spencer. Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus has announced it will be working with the Sussex Beacon Emergency Appeal to help them raise £150,000.

Eddie Izzard

After the success of two sell out tours, Diversity have announced their biggest UK Arena tour to date with a brand new show for 2012. Since winning Britain’s Got Talent in 2009, they have performed in front of H.M. The Queen on The Royal Variety Show, been the first act to perform outside No. 10 Downing Street, in front of the Prime Minister, and they starred in British smashhit film StreetDance 3D.


Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 23 February 2012, £19.10, 01273 709709, The NME Awards Tour is back for 2012 and ready to showcase the year's most exciting emerging music talent. Renowned for giving the freshest new acts including Two Door Cinema Club their first taste of national notoriety – past alumni include Florence & The Machine, Arctic Monkeys and The Killers. Two Door Cinema Club headline.



Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 7 December 2012, £tbc, 01273 709709, Following their acclaimed sold-out autumn 2011 tour The Overtones announce a brand new tour next year. A unique sound, blending the essence of vocal groups of yesteryear with the best of classic, present-day British pop.

Windmill Theatre, 15 January 2012, £12.50, 1.30pm & 4pm 01260 288690, With music and costumes galore, Circus Starr will entertain all the family with their sensational international artistes and fun filled show in support of The Martlet’s Hospice.


Brighton Centre, 1 April 2012, £29.50/21.50, 0870 900 190,

Two Door Cinema Club Diversity

4 Osaro and RJ Shut Up and Dance 5 The Woo!worths When I Became a Tyger 6 Chaos Borne The Moment 7 Jaybee Cowboys Blues 8 BreakinBear Joe Cocker – Never Tear Us Apart 9 La Lunalight Hear No Evil 10 Chaos Borne Watching Well, after last week’s impressive return to the top of the chart, this week’s Number One goes once again to Brighton-based hip-hop collective The Magik Word, with their hit, ‘Break Free’. Pushing the other usual suspects back down the charts, we have the indie-pop singer-songwriter, Nick Conroy, with ‘Better Days’ taking this week’s number two and ‘Forever’ taking third place. Meanwhile, we go back to that former Number One, flamboyant house duo Osaro and RJ’s ‘Shut Up And Dance’, dropping from two to take this week’s number four.

11 Moonlighter Every Time I Fall 12 Maria McAteer-Her Night At Noon Take The Blame 13 The Lounge Crusade Beck & Call 14 Red Sea Sharks KiaOra 15 Maria Mcateer – Her Night At Noon Drink The Pain Away 16 The Wolfgirl Liberation Theo Jasen’s Strandbeest 17 Slipp Electro ft Osaro It’s Lifting Me (Remix) 18 Hollywood Assassins Swithblade 19 Frunt, Bak & Nutz The Rites Of Wolf 20 EVOH I Love Brighton SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos


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L7 Previews STAGE: HONEY BEES – THE MUSICAL Will this be the must see musical of the season?


ow can we possibly resist a press release that opens with the words ‘The First (possibly) and Best (certainly) Field Hockey Musical Ever!’? Life and love, winning and losing, lesbians and drama queens – all wrapped up in the hilarious harmonious adventure that is: Honeybees – The Musical! They promise we will enjoy rock, pop, hip-hop and musical favourites with a twist, from Hockey Horror to Lady Lager as the Brighton Honeybees take on the Hove Hornets. Who will be queen of the hive? They go on to offer this; “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry (in a good way) but

whatever happens you won’t be disappointed! If you see just one Lesbian Field Hockey Musical this year it’s got to be this one!” This Brighton-made production is a fundraiser for Allsorts Youth Project, a Brighton-based charity supporting young people under 26 who are Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Trans or unsure of their sexual identity, Honey Bees–The Musical, Sallis Benney Theatre, Sat 3 Dec 7.30pm and Sun 4 Dec 7.30pm, £10/£7.50, box office 01273 709709,, all profits to Allsorts Youth Project

STAGE: TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS On Thursday 22 December, Actually Gay Men’s Chorus look forward to welcoming back friends and family to St Andrew’s Church for ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas – a festive highlight in the Brighton and Hove Christmas calendar. This year’s event will feature the first public performance from the new and long awaited Actually Gay Women’s Chorus, which in the short time it has been formed, has generated phenomenal interest. A magical evening of seasonal songs, and traditional carols, sung in harmony and guaranteed to capture both the wonder and celebration of Christmas. As ever there is plenty of opportunity for the audience to join in with both the singing and the celebration. The performance will be conducted by musical director Jason Pimblett. This Christmas will be especially busy for the chorus, as many of its members are also signed to Universal Records and perform as Brighton & Hove Gay Men’s Chorus. They will be involved in national publicity to promote their historic first album, which is released on 5 December. ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas will be the only opportunity to hear them sing as part of Actually Gay Men’s Chorus and St Andrew’s Church will be the only venue in Brighton and Hove to see them perform this Christmas. Twas The Night Before Christmas, St Andrews Church Hove, Thurs 22 Dec, 7.30pm, £10, tickets available from The Iron Duke Hotel on Waterloo St and Prowler on St James Street or at STAGE: “SEASONS OF LOVE’’ – A CHRISTMAS CABARET For something different this Christmas, Resound, Brighton and Hove’s new and exciting singing

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES BASKET CASE Festival Theatre, Chichester Sat 3 Dec Box office 01243 781312 HURRIED STEPS Concert Hall, Brighton Dome Weds 30 Nov Box office 01273 709709 THE NUTCRACKER (SOUTHERN YOUTH BALLET) Congress Theatre, Eastbourne Sun 4 Dec Box office 01323 412000 SEASON’S GREETINGS Theatre Royal, Brighton Sat 3 Dec Box office 08448 717 650 theatre-royal-brighton

group, led by Swedish opera singer Stefan Holmström, will be staging a rather different and innovative twist to Christmas with their ‘Seasons of Love’ Christmas cabaret. This is their first public performance featuring a wild mix of repertoire and moods. They will be singing some Christmas classics along with readings and lesser known music interposed with solos from guest soprano Yvonne Patrick. It promises to be an evening of fun and reflection. Seasons Of Love, St Andrews Church, Hove, Sat 10 Dec, 7.30pm, £8.50/7.50, tickets available from the Iron Duke Pub or box office 01273 709709 follow me on twitter


TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile: tues 29 november

fri 2 december

sun 4 december

see website for details

cabaret bar

bark like a dog blues jam

frockabilly wed 30 november

songwriter sessions featuring: james elder, sam flynn, dan powell, mark m thompson and mark wright. doors 7.30pm show: 8.30pm £5

thurs 1 december

cabaret bar start dancing stop aids sussex university stop aids campaign gig for world aids day. doors 9pm show 9.30pm £3

there's a chill in the air and the soft jingling of sleigh bells on the breeze... It must be nearly time for the frockabilly Holiday Special - rockabilly shenanigans, steamy rhythm & blues and kicking rock'n'roll with live music from Bad Bad Whiskey Skifflebilly Trio. You'll be sure to get your chestnuts roasted! doors 9pm £7/6

sat 3 december

see website for details

musicians of all abilities are welcome to join in an open blues jam. doors 7pm show 8pm £free

mon 5 december

mode music presents: alice ella, hayley mckay, melinda ortner, half crown, childbrain, string of colonies, club promise. doors 7.30pm show: 8.00pm £4

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LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 35 CLUBS: FROCKABILLY HOLIDAY SPECIAL Festive rockabilly, vintage rhythm and blues, and rock 'n' roll that will roast your chestnuts good and proper. With live music from Bad Bad Whiskey and Skifflebilly Trio, seasonal glamour, and mince pies at midnight. Latest Music Bar, 2 December, 9pm2am, £7/6 CLUBS: THE POP KRAFT CHRISTMAS CRACKER A naughty celebration of all things festive with Boogaloo Stu, Dolly Rocket, The Size Zero Albino and Darran Duran. Pop party anthems all night long from Slade, Mariah Carey, The Waitresses and Lady Gaga. Make your own Santa sock puppet, rummage in Santa's sack, play party games and bring a present and exchange it! Proud Brighton Ballroom, 3 December, 7pm–2am, £8/6 MUSIC: DURAN DURAN Third time lucky (their previous two Brighton shows were cancelled) for these giants of new romanticism? For £50 you can re-live the hedonistic glories of ‘Girls On Film’, ‘Rio’, ‘The Reflex’, ‘Wild Boys’ and ‘Save A Prayer’. Not surprisingly, their recent videos for tracks off their latest album features a bevvy of famous supermodels. Brighton Centre, 30 November, 7pm, £50 MUSIC: LARKIN POE Named after their great-great-great grandfather (and previously known simply as The Lovell Sisters) siblings Rebecca and Megan make up this sparkling roots-pop outfit

from the USA, and touring the UK in support of their recently released four CD box set Band For All Seasons, which comprises four mini-albums depicting each season. Combining superb musicianship (mandolin, piano, violin, dobro, guitars etc), accomplished storytelling lyrics, and unfussy harmonies, these girls are being spoken of as successors to bands such as The Dixie Chicks. Prince Albert, 1 December, 8pm, £10 MUSIC: LITTLE DRAGON Popular Swedish chilled indie electronica outfit who formed back in 1996 but only released their first album in 2006. Three albums later, they are a rare example of a slow burner in today's fast-paced disposable environment. Little Dragon's defrosted grandeur is fronted by Swedish-Japanese singer Yukimi Nagano, who possesses a neo-soul voice that is not a million miles away from the likes of Eyrkah Badu. Concorde 2, 3 December, 7.30pm. SOLD OUT

Little Dragon

MUSIC: MARIACHI EL BRONX The punk rock spirit lives on with a South American twist


unk rock and mariachi, eh? It’s been a long standing secret of sorts that much of traditional Central American and Caribbean (including Cuban) music is really a kind of punk in terms of attitude, its social connotations (generally working class roots), and above all volume – these guys play loud – as do The Bronx, a Los Angeles based group of punks who were making a name for themselves in the US and Europe for their hardcore rifferamas that included plenty of melody enticing fans from outside the punk ghetto. It was in 2006 that The Bronx showed up to play on a television show, and the show's producers requested they play an acoustic version of Dirty Leaves from the band’s second, self-titled album – a request that didn’t sit well. “Going ‘unplugged’ was a ’90s fad that I had a knee-jerk reaction to dislike,” notes guitarist Joby J. Ford. “We wanted to do something a little bit different.” So The Bronx donned sombreros and arranged the song as a mariachi lament. “We never wanted The Bronx to be a soft, quiet band,” says frontman Matt Caughthran, “but this freed up a whole new realm. Sometimes you don’t realise the barriers around yourself until you step outside them. It was a big moment in our career, breathing new life into the band.” And thus Mariachi El Bronx was born. Caughthran, Ford and their bandmates – Jorma Vik (drums) Brad Magers (trumpet), Ken Horne (jarana/guitar), and Vincent Hidalgo (guitarrón) – relentlessly studied instructional videos on YouTube to master the various mariachi styles.“Mariachi has rules,” Caughthran explains. “We learned everything we could out of respect, especially as we’re a bunch of white guys – well, except for Ken, who’s Japanese.” The sonic merger of the two cultures wasn’t so surprising considering the band’s evolution out of California’s ethnic melting pot. Caughthran grew up in Pico Riviera, on the outskirts of East L.A., where he was definitely in the gringo minority. “I know people are like, ‘Where the f*** does this come from?’ but growing up in Mexican neighbourhoods, it feels automatic,” says Caughthran. “My two favourite bands were always Black Flag and Los Lobos, so it all makes sense. Black Flag was all about aggression, no rules, no dress code, while Los Lobos opened me up to Neil Young, the Carpenters and Sonic Youth.” More currently, Mariachi El Bronx found kinship with the Gypsy punk of Gogol Bordello, with whom they toured Europe in 2010. “We’re doing some weird-ass shows,” Caughthran laughs. “The experiment of El Bronx was a disguise to get us into parties where we didn’t belong – and it worked! Mariachi El Bronx, Concorde 2, Tues 29 Nov, 7.30pm, £12, follow me on twitter


Larkin Poe

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Nik Coppin


COMEDY: THE PAJAMA MEN Critically accalimed and with a new show featuring love, alien abduction and more. Victoria Nangle find out more Hello there. Your new show sounds incredible... space men, time travel, sea monsters... what does it feel like from your end? Like a really boring roller coaster, wait no, that's what a train feels like... What’s your favourite bit in the show? When we f*** up. The best bits come when we make a mistake and have to find a clever way to get out of it.

What is your least favourite aspect of each other? Neither of us is very organised so it can be hard to keep track of what we hate about each other. It’s not like a normal job where you can say, “Damn this f***ing printer is a wrecking my head!” It can get personal, but luckily we love each other like brothers who are in love with each other.

You have won more than a few awards from around the world. How much pressure does this put on you when you’re creating? There is some pressure, I guess. It’s important that the audience keep their expectations extremely low! If you’re expecting a half bagel and weak green tea, you might be pretty thrilled by a casserole. What makes each of you laugh lots? We’ve been working together for 12 years, so we're really in each other’s heads. We laugh when we're both thinking the same stupid thing and both know it – it makes it extremely difficult to get through anything boring that’s supposed to be serious. We get the giggles.

How did the two of you meet and decide to perform in attire usually associated with sleep over activity? We wanted to be business men, but couldn't afford suits. PJs were the next best thing. Which are your favourite pyjamas? You need to find a good fit. Pyjamas can make even the most anorexic of us look rotund.

Who is the funniest? Mark. The Pajama Men – In The Middle Of No One, Komedia, Thurs 1 Dec, 8pm, £16.50, box office 0845 293 8480,

What is your favourite aspects of each other? I like Mark's nostrils – entire worlds live inside them. He likes that I like them.

COMEDY: COMEDY AT THE CON Featuring the comedic talents of David Ward, Suzi Ruffel and Chris McCausland, this is a strong cast of laughter-makers strung together by your host and all round entertainer David Mountfield. The Constitutional Club, Lewes, 1 December, 8.30pm, £9/7

What do you make of Brit audiences compared to your native US crowd? Honestly Brits take comedy seriously. It's a real art form over here. We love that about the UK.

follow me on twitter

David Ward


coming comedians whilst eating from the superb menu. The Forager, Hove, 29 November, 8pm, £4/3 EVENTS: ARTISTS OPEN HOUSES AT CHRISTMAS Back for the festive winter period, and having already started, there’s still two weekends left for visitors to explore 100 houses across the city. With an array of work from contemporary and original artists, find unique gifts for loved ones. Enjoy a mince pie and mulled wine

COMEDY: CULT COMEDY C.U.L.T. Comedy features the best of Brighton's burgeoning new act standup scene. Watch seven great up and

Suzi Ruffell

at the houses featured on the trail. Various venues, 4–5 December and 11–12 December, for a full list of venues visit EVENTS: CINECITY FILM FESTIVAL 2011 PRESENTS SEAMONSTERS AND Q&A Seamonsters is a warm, truthful and often very funny story of two bored teenage best friends at the seaside, entranced by the same girl.The feature is shot in Worthing and among the houseboats of Shoreham. Brighton-based director Julian Kerridge is holding a question and answer session afterwards. Duke of York's Picturehouse, 1 December, 6.30pm, £7.50/8.50 student/adult EVENTS: COACHWERKS WINTER FAIR 2011 There's plenty of Christmassy things to do for the Coachwerks Winter Fair. Watch the Nomadic Academy of Fools take on A Fool’s Nativity, enjoy a spoon carving workshop, make Xmas decorations, knit, create and design your own festive gifts and jewellery. It's a festival full of mulled wine and mince pies! Brighton Studios, 19 Hollingdean Terrace, 3–11 December. For a full list of events and ticket prices visit

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

0844 504 0004

Established since May 2009, our Kemp Town-based security services have flourished due to our customer service approach to licensed venue security. If you're looking for SIA licensed Door Supervisors and/or 24hr mobile response call us for a free quotation and free security advice. – security you can depend on! Enquiries:

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Supported by

LATEST PREVIEWS ART&FILM ART: LINDA BOUCHER Brighton based artist (based in Brighton's Artist Quarter since 1991) who uses oil paints in creating her images of glamorous women, and plenty of objects of desire including disco balls, lipsticks and Russian Dolls. her contemporary paintings exude the fashions and styles of the ’40s and ’50s. Linda Boucher, New Steine Hotel, Brighton, 01273 681546. 2 December–19 February 2012

ART: JOLLY GORGEOUS Full of eclectic gifts and jewellery and the most amazing original art pieces from local and international artists. Incredible sculptures in bronze and stainless steel make an impression; mixed techniques on canvas, lusciously cool terra cotta lips and busts. There’s nothing quite like it in the whole of Brighton! Open weekends in December as part of Jolly Gorgeous is part of the Kemp Town trail in the Christmas Artists Open Houses. Jolly Gorgeous Gallery, Kemp Town


FILM: HAPPY FEET 2 3D (U) Director: George Miller


ver get the feeling that Happy Feet – the tale of a dancing penguin who was at first ostracised and then embraced by his community for his differences – has a bit of a celeb fanbase? Just saying, it’s not every film that gets Brad Pitt and Matt Damon to pair up to voice a couple of Krill. Anyway, this is the sequel and Mumble the dancing penguin has a bit of a problem arising when his own young son Erik turns out to have two left feet. Who’d’ve thought it? Erik’s a bit upset by this too and runs away in shame to be taken under the wing of The Mighty Sven, a flying penguin. We know! Another utterly unique penguin doing a very un-penguin-like activity! What are the chances? Difficulty is, as well as missing the mite this defection of affection has left Mumble slipping down the pecking order or penguins. Is he turning into his own penguin-leader and just not understanding somebody a little bit different? It’s probable that love and some help from good friends may just push this dilemma into alignment. No promises, mind. Starring the voices of Elijah Wood, Robin Williams, Hank Azaria, Hugo Weaving, Pink, Ava Acres and Sofia Vergara. Released 2 December Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

FILM: THE THING (15) Dir: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. Bit of prequel magic here as the Norwegian Arctic excursion that left Kurt Russell and co in the doo-doo in the 1982 version have suspiciously become an international group, allowing them to all speak English. Except probably the ones that turned up to confuse Kurt. That aside, this tells of a team of scientists who discover a previously undiscovered organism imprisoned in ice. What to do? Surely not un-freeze it... Released 2 December Showing at Odeon and Cineworld For full details of film times:

Listings Send your stage listings to: Send your comedy listings to: Send your events listings to: Send your arts listings to: Send your music listings to: Send your club listings to: Send your gay listings to:

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038_LS554_stars-TV column_024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 25/11/2011 10:47 Page 2



STARS With Val Aviv

HARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

A sexy new you can emerge, more powerful, more mysterious and totally seductive. Don’t go getting righteous or you may be drawn into disputes. If your beliefs and your reality clash remember the big picture is made up of a collection of finer details.

HTAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

Love is adventurous, exotic and thrilling. Striking beauty inspires your creativity; you can achieve artistic highs through muse-like imagery. The more you go with the flow, the more synchronicity you can sense as the world unfolds magically - just for you.

HGEMINI {May 22–June 21}

If on occasions you have been known to choose a side of the fence, you struggle to stay there for long, just like a nosey neighbour you easily get drawn back to the fence to hear what others have to say. Before siding with your self, listen to the other side.

HCANCER {June 22–July 22}

The heat is on and the temperature is rising. Real love can charm you with it’s intensity, the likes of which you’ve not felt in a long time. You’ll get a real kick out of working with someone closely, doing this can restore faith and trust; deepening a bond.

HLEO {July 23–Aug 22}

You may have conflicting urges to contend with this week as you want to progress at work and ensure a tidy income but what is this desire that gives unbridled reign to your wild side? Bring play and smiles to work and get noticed for the right reasons.

HVIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

You’ve really got your wriggle on this week as you’ve turned up the charms while the steamy art of subtle seduction is yours to play with, master and own. What a lucky zodiac sign you are indeed having the best weapon in the world in your toolbox!

HLIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

While you swoon over the past and indulge in things that were, deep down you can know it’s made you! It’s right that you should feel made up, as there’s no need to struggle to move mountains. With your magnetism, they’ll simply come to you.

HSCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

It’s unlike you to say the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person, and that’s another reason why you wont! Communications are glazed in a sweetness that’s reserved for only the smoothest of talkers. This week, that’ll be you!

HSAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

Your energies have been pooled tirelessly into your work. The material plane of existence has been very lucky to have the likes of you getting stuck into making things happen. A token financial pay off is likely but watch out as your tastes are expensive.

HCAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

Make that plan, dream that dream but most of all look in the mirror; you’re simply gorgeous! Who can say they carry the weight of the world with as much dignity as you do? Lighten the load and soak up the adoration because you deserve every bit of it and more.

HAQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

What happens in public has little to do with what’s happening behind your closed doors. While the world continues it’s daily grind and ambitious climb towards pies in skies, you’re eating Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at:

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 829 NOVEMBER – 5 DECEMBER the world; One the epitome of the English bulldog with topical news and his weekly gristle on Mock The Week – that’s Andy Parsons. The other, Tommy T, is one of Ireland’s brightest comedy stars, recently co-headlined Laughs In The Park With Victoria Nangle with Eddie Izzard and Ross Noble and mixes the broad attacks against Ireland’s government articulately with familial panic and almost situational slapstick. Hide in your room with these 18 certificate bad boys. In terms of presents that will be prized to give, one of my favourites from last year’s Edinburgh Festival – and nominated for the big Edinburgh VDs are big business this Christmas. Comedy Award – is Greg Davies’ Firing Whether it’s the box set of Frozen Planet or Cheeseballs At A Dog. Best known on TV for his spreading the word of The Wire (again), turns as the bombastic teacher in The they have always been a source of big presentInbetweeners and as current sidekick on Rhod buying and gathering around the goggle box as a Gilbert’s Ask Rhod, Davies’ show is hilarious, family, friendship group or touching and utterly unique. simply random Boxing Day Other stalwart successes gathering. This year, more than from the comedy festivals ever before, there is a barrage “...Davies’ show is this year come in the form of of stand-up comedy DVDs. Solo Richard Herring’s Christ On A shows, more club sets than Bike and Adam Hills’ live hilarious, touching you’d catch on the Michael show. Herring’s no holds and utterly unique” McIntyre Roadshow, but barred mix of intellect with carefully crafted shows teenage boy’s sniggers has around a theme or singular won many fans, and Hills’ sense of humour. To be shared. laid back Australian with It’s a cliché for a reason – there really is sharp comedic instincts have wowed critics in something for everyone. Are you sitting recent years. comfortably? Then let us begin... Of course, there are also the big shows that Right, let’s kick off against the myth that there have already toured here, playing the Brighton could not possibly be a DVD you could give to Centre. Lee Evans is popular for a reason – he Granny that you’ll find funny, will not offend the delivers his mugging everyman every time, which in-laws and is still suitable for the toddlers is what you get from Roadrunner. Alan Carr is running around and won’t teach them any bad equally mainstream but in his own way, sticking words. Let me introduce you to Milton Jones. His with personal anecdotes and oozing best mate show, Lion Whisperer Live, incorporates all of the appeal ans feelgood factor in Spexy Beast. surreal travels from his many Radio 4 shows, the It could be that you want all of these, or that fabulous creativity of a mind that would explode you think one of these will suit a pal or relative. As Douglas Adams’ hitch-hikers’ mind, and that rarest live comedy has grown in popularity on the TV so of comedy commodities – a ‘U’ certificate. has everyone become more receptive to watching Conversely, if the last thing you want is to it and keeping their best and favouritist in a spend time with the brood (nothing personal, I drawer to be brought out in times of dire need. To don’t know you, but you might just have one of be honest, however your Christmas goes, an those families) and the turkey debacle just about antidote to the come down that follows could be sent you spare, you may find that requesting the best pressie ever. Andy Parsons’ Gruntled DVD or Tommy Tiernan’s All DVDs available now. Crooked Man disc was one of the best Christmas follow me on twitter latestvicky decisions you ever made. Both rail well against

Telly Talk

Ho! Ho! Ho! D

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tuesday 29 Money BBC2, 9pm The first in a three-part documentary series exploring personal attitudes to money. Here’s the big secret – if you really, really want to it’s possible to get rich. This looks at the people who dedicate their lives to this goal, including renowned US wealth gurus Robert Kiyosaki and T. Harv Eker.

Jamie’s Great Britain Channel 4, 9pm We’ve got some classic Brit grub around the country, and it only seems fair to share the secrets with the nation. Like Jamie’s discovery of haggis with a West Indian twist in Glasgow. Ooh, what a brilliant meeting of cuisines! Then on to seared venison loin, Scottish risotto and golden pheasant hash. Peckish?

The Vampire Diaries ITV2, 9pm Why are young pretty vampires so full of conflict? Why can’t they live and let drink? Damon’s trying to make a breakthrough with Stefan and tries a reckless new approach. Not that he was ever Mr Cautious in the first place. Anyway, both of them are a tad startled by the arrival of an unlikely ally. Santa Claus?


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Noise Squad 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.40 Doctors 2.10 Only Fools And Horses 3.05 Driving Academy 3.35 Splatalot 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show. 7.30 EastEnders The Brannings go head-to-head with the Mitchells as Jack and Roxy attend court to secure custody of Amy. This will be a quiet and civilised affair. Right! 8.00 Holby City When an emergency trauma case is admitted, Sahira needs Hanssen’s help. Does he still have the ability to save the patient’s life and himself? 9.00 Death In Paradise Detective drama series. With Richard struck down by a tropical disease and Camille in Paris, it is left to Dwayne and Fidel to solve the apparently impossible murder of a local diver. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Vox Pop: How Dartford Powered The British Beat Boom Iain Lee recounts how an unlikely small company in Dartford manufacturing Vox amplifiers came to define the sound of the 60s. 11.05 The League Cup Show Action from the quarter finals of the 2011 Carling Cup tournament. 12.05am FILM: Dragonfly (2002) 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: Frozen Planet 2.50 Mixed Britannia 3.50 Natural World - Heligan: Secrets Of The Lost Gardens 4.50 BBC News


6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Project Parent 7.25 Trust Me I’m A Genie 7.40 Leon 7.45 Pet Squad 7.55 Newsround 8.00 Copycats 8.25 Iconicles 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Something Special 9.40 Charlie And Lola 9.55 ZingZillas 10.15 Big Barn Farm 10.25 Louie 10.35 Octonauts 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Coast 11.45 FILM: Lost Horizon (1937) 1.45pm To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 The Autumn Statement 5.30 Flog It! 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, training action and exclusive news from Strictly Come Dancing, with Zoe Ball. 7.00 Heir Hunters Following the work of probate researchers as they look for heirs of people who have died without leaving a will. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals In this show, five of the ten chefs from the previous day’s heat return to face Monica and Gregg in a skills test: Monica asks them to tunnel bone a leg of lamb and tie it ready for roasting. With only ten minutes in hand, the chefs have to work fast using their finest knife skills if they are to deliver. 9.00 Money See highlights. 10.00 Life’s Too Short After complaints that he takes all the best roles for himself, Warwick launches a website and creates showreels for his clients. But he still takes on a role opposite Helena Bonham Carter. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 The Choir: Unsung Town Revisited Gareth returns to South Oxhey to catch up with the choir members, past and present. 12.20am BBC News


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Ade In Britain 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jai snaps when he cannot get through to Priya. Katie decides that it is time she finished things with Declan. 7.30 The Adventurer’s Guide To Britain Series in which presenter Gethin Jones and naturalist Charlotte Uhlenbroek explore Britain. In this episode, they head to North Yorkshire to discover just how far a spirit of adventure will get them along this famous crumbling coastline. 8.00 Coronation Street Becky is shocked as an emotional Kylie lays down the law. Nick and Eva cosy up as they hide from security. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Ant and Dec reveal who will be next to leave as the celebrities continue to battle the jungle and each other. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Witches Of Eastwick (1987) Starring Jack Nicholson, Cher, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer. Offbeat comedy in which three frustrated female divorcees living in a quiet town wish for the perfect man to enter their lives. When a mysterious, rich and charming stranger arrives it looks like their prayers have been answered – but he’s more than a little devilish. 12.45am The Zone 3.15 Kojak 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 The Secret Millionaire USA 9.55 Relocation, Relocation 10.55 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 1.05 BT And Channel 4 Present... 1.10 FILM: A Matter Of Life And Death (1946) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Warren is tortured as he tries to come to terms with Joel’s presence in the village. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 The Food Hospital Health series examining the science behind using food as medicine. 42-year-old Ellie has a rare and traumatising condition called Fish Odour Syndrome. By taking her treatment into her own hands her health has been put at risk. Lucy and Gio look at hangover cures with three students. 9.00 Jamie’s Great Britain See highlights. 10.00 My Transsexual Summer Documentary series. Sarah is looking for a place to live. Will she find suitable flatmates in free-thinking Brighton? 11.05 Random Acts 11.10 True Blood Fantasy adventure series. Season finale. Eric has second thoughts about killing Russell. 12.25am UK And Ireland Poker Tour 1.20 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 1.50 FIVB World Beach Volleyball Championship 2.45 Extreme Sailing Series 2011 3.15 KOTV Boxing Weekly 3.45 Lloyds TSB Cardiff Half Marathon 4.10 Freesports On 4 4.40 Road To London 2012: That Paralympic Show 5.10 Scrapheap Challenge

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s televisions 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.25 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Law And Order 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Meerkat Manor 2.45 Meals In Moments 3.00 FILM: The Incident (1990) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away After the trial, Charlie has questions to answer about her relationship with Brax. 6.25 OK! TV Jeff Brazier and Jenny Frost present a lively mix of celebrity gossip. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 How To Take Stunning Pictures Photography masterclass presented by Suzi Perry. 8.00 London: The Inside Story Documentary series. Westminster wardens Ian and Martin are accosted by drunken girls, an irate bongo player and a travelling poet. 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. A cage fighter sent to prison for murder seeks revenge against the rival who he blames for his jail sentence and the loss of his career. 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. The discovery of a girl’s body in a dumpster leads the CSIs to a powerful drug lord. 11.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. As soon as a country club employee is convicted of murdering a female member, new evidence appears that may prove his innocence. Not a bounder then? 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.50 SuperCasino 4.00 Chinese Food In Minutes 4.10 The Gadget Show 5.00 County Secrets 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 8.55 LIVE International Cricket 5.30pm Football Asia 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football’s Greatest (x2) 12.00am Football Asia 12.30 Extra Time 1.00 Carling Cup Football 2.30 Revista De La Liga 3.30 Football’s Greatest 4.00 Carling Cup Football 5.30 Football Asia

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 European Tour Golf 9.00 Football League 10.30 Netbusters 10.55 Live Cricket 2.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 Netbusters 3.30 SPL RoundUp 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Netbusters 5.30 Fishing Gurus 6.00 Golf 6.30 Golf: PGA Cup 2011 7.30 LIVE Carling Cup Football 11.00 Golfing World 12.00am PSA World Series Squash 1.00 BWF Badminton Super Series 2.00 Golf: PGA Cup 2011 3.00 Golf 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 9.00am Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 10.30 European Tour Golf 11.30 PGA Tour Classic 12.30pm Fishing Gurus 1.00 European Tour Golf 2.00 P1 Superstock Powerboating 3.00 Extra Time 3.30 Fishing Gurus 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 LIVE British Basketball League 9.30 International Bowls: World Cup 11.30 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 12.30am Fishing Gurus 1.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 3.00 International Bowls: World Cup 5.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Modern Family (x2) 1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 Inside Gatwick 10.00 FILM: Shaft (2000) 11.55 35mm 12.25am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Night Cops 2.40 The Chicago Code (x2) 4.20 Verminators

7.00pm Hot Like Us 8.00 Love On The Transplant List 9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Him & Her 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Don’t Tell The Bride 1.30 Him & Her 2.00 Hot Like Us 3.00 Britain’s Youngest Undertaker 4.00 Skin Deep: The Business Of Beauty

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Time To Remember 8.00 Stephen Fry In America 9.00 America On A Plate: The Story Of The Diner 10.00 FILM: Diner (1982) 11.45 Stephen Fry In America 12.45am FILM: Purple Rain (1984) 2.35 America On A Plate: The Story Of The Diner 5.30 Close

3.40pm Beauty And The Geek 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The X Factor Results 8.00 My Child Won’t Eat 9.00 The Vampire Diaries. See highlights. 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: The Astronaut’s Wife (1999) 1.15am Coronation Street

12.50pm Heartbeat 1.50 Pie In The Sky 2.55 The Father Dowling Mysteries 4.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 5.10 On The Buses 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Pie In The Sky 7.50 Wycliffe 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.05 Prime Suspect 1.20am Numb3rs 2.00 On The Buses 2.25 ITV3 Nightscreen

3.35pm Desperate Housewives 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Shipwrecked: The Island 9.00 Sorority Girls 10.00 Tool Academy 11.05 Phoneshop 11.40 The IT Crowd 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.05pm Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x4) 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 FILM: True Stories: Wikileaks: Secrets And Lies () 12.05am FILM: Internal Affairs (1990) 2.15 Come Dine With Me

11.00am Battle Of The River Plate (1956) 1.20pm Cloak And Dagger (1946) 3.25 The Woodlanders (1997) 5.15 23 Paces To Baker Street (1956) 7.15 Stormbreaker (2006) 9.00 Max Payne (2008) 10.55 Feast Of Love (2007) 12.50am Basic Instinct 2 (2006) 3.05 Close


.TV If you want to join us to make a TV channel for Brighton on terrestrial TV come to Latest Musicbar. 5.30pm Mondays

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wednesday 30 Frozen Planet BBC1, 9pm This week the clever and stunning images cover the people in the Arctic regions. From those that live in the city of Norlisk – the coldest city on Earth – to tribes like the Dogan who herd reindeer, dragging their homes around. There’s even Captain’s Scott’s hut in Antarctica. What did he build it of though?

Grand Designs Channel 4, 9pm Our Kev is back revisiting the home of Mimi de Costa and her family in the heart of Kent. All rural right? Of course not! Well the giant two storey house is made of timber, but it’s heated by state-of-the-art glass panels and is hardly the simplest of structures. Is Mimi finally finished and happy?

Charlie’s Angels E4, 8pm Woo hoo! All new Charlie’s Angels with brand new angels and even a friendly Bosley on hand. Kate Price and Abby Sampson team up with Eve French to find the ruthless child sex trafficker responsible for the death of their former partner, Gloria. Miami will feel so much safer with these Angels about.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Noise Squad 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.40 Doctors 2.10 Only Fools And Horses 3.05 Driving Academy 3.35 Splatalot 4.00 ROY 4.30 Serious Explorers: Raleigh 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 That’s Britain! Ade Edmondson unplugs the National Grid, Grainne Seoige takes on overcrowded trains, and Stanley Johnson finds more good Samaritans amongst the public. 8.30 The Impressions Show Impressions from Jon Culshaw and Debra Stephenson and their vast array of characters. 9.00 Frozen Planet See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10.45 Who Do You Think You Are? Vanessa Williams Actress Vanessa L Williams, who faced racial prejudice when she became the first black woman to be crowned Miss America, goes on the trail of two of her ancestors who fought courageously to extend the rights and freedoms of black people in the USA. 11.15 Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman Film news, reviews and interviews with Claudia Winkleman. 11.55 FILM: Right At Your Door (2006) Starring Mary McCormack, Rory Cochrane. Thriller about the aftermath of a terrorist attack on LA. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.00 Planet Dinosaur 2.30 Country Tracks 3.25 Hairy Bikers’ Meals On Wheels 4.25 BBC News


6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Pet Squad 7.55 Newsround 8.00 Copycats 8.25 Iconicles 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Something Special 9.40 Charlie And Lola 9.55 ZingZillas 10.15 Big Barn Farm 10.25 Octonauts 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 To Buy Or Not To Buy 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, training action and exclusive news from Strictly Come Dancing, with Zoe Ball. 7.00 Heir Hunters Series dedicated to finding the heirs of people who have died without leaving a will. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals The remaining five chefs from Monday’s heat return to face Monica and Gregg in a skills test: Monica asks them to make a swiss meringue to pipe on a lemon tart, before glazing and serving it with a sauce.Yum! 9.00 Your Money And How They Spend It In the second of a two-part series, Nick Robinson shows how hard it is for politicians to raise the taxes needed to pay for all the things we want. 10.00 Mock The Week Again Dara O Briain and regulars Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons are joined by guests Milton Jones, Patrick Kielty and Mark Watson. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 Frontline Medicine Michael Mosley travels from the frontline of war to the frontline of research. 12.20am BBC News


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Ade In Britain 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain encourages Priya to teach Jai a lesson. Amy goes into labour alone. 7.30 Super Tiny Animals Documentary about the current craze for tiny animals, from Paris Hilton’s small pet dogs to miniature horses. Irene and Mo run a miniature horse farm and hold pony parties for children. Their tiniest foal, Acer, measured just over 14 inches at birth. In Devon, the show travels to the farm which played a part in starting the recent craze for micro pigs. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The celebrities nervously wait for the results of the next viewer vote. Who will be staying and who will be leaving the jungle forever? Presented by Ant and Dec. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Cops With Cameras More life on the frontline with police forces across the UK. In this edition, Grampian police in Scotland are targeting drunk and dangerous young drivers, and officers in South London have to race to stop a confrontation spiralling out of control. 11.35 Homes From Hell Stories from the people whose lives have been ruined by property adventures. 12.30am The Zone 2.35 Columbo: Uneasy Lies The Crown 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 The Secret Millionaire USA 9.55 Relocation, Relocation 10.55 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 1.10 FILM: That Touch Of Mink (1962) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Joel is concerned when he sees a side of Warren that he does not like, while Warren fears that he may have made a costly mistake. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain Kirstie visits the Nidderdale agricultural show in the Yorkshire Dales and enters into the ‘produce’ competition, trying her hand at a Yorkshire pork pie, sausages and brawn. 9.00 Grand Designs See highlights. 10.00 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night Comedy quiz with Chris Moyles, who is joined by celebrities from the UK and America for an array of challenges. With guests Frank Skinner, Alesha Dixon and Jeff Stelling. 10.50 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Comedy chat show with Alan Carr. Alan is joined by comedian Lee Evans and boy band One Direction. 11.55 Random Acts 12.00am MUSIC ON 4: Live From Abbey Road 12.50 The Album Chart Show Introduces...Emeli Sande 1.05 4Play: Charlene Soraia 1.20 4Play: Ben Howard 1.35 The Album Chart Show 1.50 FILM: Holy Smoke (1999) 3.45 Meeting Helen 4.00 Amelia And Michael 4.10 Happy Endings 4.35 St Elsewhere 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.25 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Law And Order 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Meerkat Manor 2.50 Meals In Moments 3.00 FILM: The Long Shot (2004) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away After the whole town gets wind of Brax and Charlie’s relationship, just as they might reunite, she finds Hayley’s earring in his car and the reconciliation is called off. Leah reveals to Miles she blames him for going ahead with the pregnancy. Thanks to Lily, Gypsy’s plans to patch things up with Mark go astray. 6.25 OK! TV Jeff Brazier and Jenny Frost present a lively mix of celebrity gossip. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Europa League Football Live Europa League football action from the latest round of this year’s competition. Really there’s just a lot of kicking invloving balls, nets and white lines. Nothing to see. 10.15 FILM: Second In Command (2006) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Julie Cox, Alan McKenna, Ian Virgo, Razaaq Adoti, William Tapley and Velibor Topic. Action thriller. An uprising in a small eastern European country leads insurgents to attack the US embassy. The ambassador is killed, forcing his right-hand man to lead a small group of marines in a bid to defend the building from the heavily armed mob. 12.05am Pokerstars: The Big Game 1.05 SuperCasino 4.00 Animal Rescue Squad 4.15 Wildlife SOS (x2) 5.00 County Secrets 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Carling Cup Football 10.30 British Basketball League 1.00pm Revista De La Liga 2.00 Carling Cup Football 3.30 Football Asia 4.00 Revista De La Liga 5.00 Football’s Greatest 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.30 Spanish Football 3.00 Football’s Greatest 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 10.00 PSA World Series Squash 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Cricket 12.30pm Cricket 1.30 Golf 2.00 Golf: PGA Cup 2011 3.00 Golf 4.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Kings Of The Snow 6.30 British Rallyzone 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.30 European Tour Weekly 11.00 NFL - Total Access 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 3 12.00pm Golf: PGA Cup 2011 1.00 BWF Badminton Super Series 2.30 British Basketball League 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Cage Fighter 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 Cage Fighter 12.00am Bowls 1.00 Angling: British Carp Angling Championships 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Middle 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 The Cafe 9.30 Victoria Wood’s Angina Monologues 10.30 Emergency With Angela Griffin 11.30 Brit Cops 12.30am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Hotter Than My Daughter 7.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Hot Like Us 10.00 FILM: Meet The Parents (2000) 11.40 Family Guy (x2) 12.25am Russell Howard’s Good News 12.55 Hot Like Us 1.55 The World’s Strictest Parents 2.55 Hotter Than My Daughter

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Churches: How To Read Them 8.00 Abraham Lincoln: Saint Or Sinner? 9.00 Bobby Fischer: Genius And Madman - Storyville 10.30 The Killing II (x2) 12.30am Churches: How To Read Them 1.00 American Nomads 2.30 Bobby Fischer: Genius And Madman - Storyville

3.40pm Beauty And The Geek 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 You’ve Been Framed! 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 Sextuplets - The Little Lambs 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: Three Kings (1999) 1.20am Emmerdale 1.45 The Vampire Diaries

12.50pm Heartbeat 1.50 Pie In The Sky 2.55 The Father Dowling Mysteries 4.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 Blue Murder 12.35am Numb3rs (x2) 2.00 On The Buses 2.25 ITV3 Nightscreen

2.35pm Gilmore Girls 3.35 Desperate Housewives 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Charlie’s Angels. See highlights. 9.00 FILM: I, Robot (2004) 11.10 Misfits 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.10 Scrubs (x2)

3.05pm Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x4) 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Time Team Special 11.10 The Great Inca Rebellion 12.10am Camelot 1.20 Time Team Special 2.20 The Great Inca Rebellion

11.00am Conspiracy Of Hearts (1959) 1.10pm The Black Tent (1956) 3.00 King Solomon’s Mines (1950) 5.00 Jump Tomorrow (2001) 6.50 Entrapment (1999) 9.00 Brick (2005) 11.10 The 51st State (2001) 12.55am Couscous (2007) 3.55 Close



Brighton Lights 33

It’s a great meeting of food-loving minds as Latest 7’s resident food writer Andrew Kay meets top Italian chef Antonio Carluccio

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041_LS554_TV_Thurs_L7wed14apr.qxd 24/11/2011 11:34 Page 1

thursday 1 december The Ultimate Guide To Penny Pinching Channel 4, 8pm Rightey-o! Time to buckle down and get those frugal Crimbo schemes up and running. Need any tips? Funny that, because Cutting Edge is just about ready to serve some up, talking to some of the thriftiest people in the country about how they save every penny they can.

Rev BBC2, 9pm A vicar’s life is not an easy one, which is why it’s rather fine fodder for a sitcom. This week the church school is up for religious inspection and headteacher Ellie is pretty certain they’ll pass thanks to inspirational new teacher Mr Feld. Yay! Only one small prob – he’s an atheist. Whoops!

Phoneshop E4, 10pm It’s a sitcom, like, innit? And this week there’s all this moolah everybody’s after, like. Christopher comes into some dosh, which is well wicked, and skint Lance is so chuffed but soon finds he’s been strong-armed into having a bash as Jez’s latest charity scam. That’s well bad! Word.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Noise Squad 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.40 Doctors 2.10 Only Fools And Horses 3.05 Driving Academy 3.35 Splatalot 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Dani’s House 4.55 The Owl 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Zainab is left in turmoil when she discovers the truth about Masood and Jane, but will a proposition from Yusef help her forge a new life abroad? 8.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Nick Knowles and the team recruit extra help from the local community to build an extension that will transform a home and bring a family back together. 9.00 The Manor Reborn Penelope Keith and Paul Martin present the series following the reinvention of Avebury Manor. Work at the manor finally gets under way, but will the National Trust accept the outlandish colour scheme being proposed for the Queen’s bedroom? Gotta love that. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs Question Time from Dagenham, with panellists including justice secretary Ken Clarke and David Frum, former speechwriter to President George W Bush. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Who’s Getting Rich On Your Money? – Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.55 Antiques Roadshow 2.55 Digging For Britain 3.55 News


6.00 – 9.05am Children’s television 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Something Special 9.40 Charlie And Lola 9.55 ZingZillas – A Christmas Special 10.15 Big Barn Farm 10.25 Louie 10.35 Octonauts 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The Pink Panther Show 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Coast 1.15 Trash To Cash 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, training action and exclusive news from Strictly Come Dancing, with Zoe Ball. 7.00 Heir Hunters Once again the Heir Hunters attempt to link people with money they stand to inherit from long-forgotten relations. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals It is quarter-final day and for the week’s six best chefs, this is where the battle really begins. First they must prove to Michel and Gregg they have what it takes with a dish of their own invention. 9.00 Rev. See highlights. 9.30 Life’s Too Short During messy divorce negotiations, Warwick asks Ricky and Stephen for personal advice. Meanwhile, he moves into a new apartment and seeks election as chairman of the Society of People of Small Stature. 10.00 Frank Skinner’s Opinionated Comedian Frank Skinner is joined in Norwich by Chris Addison and Katy Brand. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark. 11.20 Pan Am Drama series about a 1960s airline. 12.00am Pan Am 12.45 BBC News


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Ade In Britain 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A terrified Amy gives birth alone. Moira realises that it is time she moved out of the farm. 8.00 Coronation Street Sophie confesses her feelings to Amber. The nativity auditions begin with Simon’s Cilla Black rendition. Becky takes a step back as Max bonds with his family. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The celebrities face another day of hunger and hardship in the jungle before one of them must leave the camp for good. Hosted by Ant and Dec. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Des O’Connor Showbiz legend Des O’Connor, whose television career spans nearly half a century, talks candidly to Piers about his life on and off the screen. He chats about becoming a dad at the age of 72, opens up about the gambling that cost him his family home and reveals how he really felt about his singing becoming a national joke at the hands of Morecambe and Wise. 11.35 Matt Cardle: Into The Light Special programme about pop star Matt Cardle, who won The X Factor in 2010. 12.30am The Zone 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.55 The Secret Millionaire USA 9.55 Relocation, Relocation 10.55 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 12.55 FILM: Knights Of The Round Table (1953) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes anxiously waits to find out who the father of her child is. Dum dum DUM! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 The Ultimate Guide To Penny Pinching See highlights. 9.00 Living With The Amish The notoriously private Amish community opens its doors to a group of British teenagers in a six-part series, allowing a view of the Amish way of life. Jordan, George and James learn the joy of physical labour as they help raise a barn, while the girls, Charlotte, Siana and Hannah, experience life as Amish women as they prepare food for the men of the community. 10.00 The Joy Of Teen Sex Series exploring the sex lives of today’s teenagers. Billie JD Porter investigates why so many girls hate their vaginas. 11.05 Random Acts 11.10 Random Acts 11.15 The Secret Millionaire Repeat of Sunday’s show. 12.20am MUSIC ON 4: The Prodigy: World’s On Fire 1.15 360 Sessions: The Vaccines 1.40 InputOutput 1.55 360 Sessions: The Wombats 2.25 Shameless 3.20 Southland 4.05 The British Woman On Death Row 5.00 Unreported World 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.25 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Law And Order 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Meerkat Manor 2.50 Chinese Food In Minutes 2.55 FILM: The Race To The Pole (1983) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Mark goes on the war path after discovering that Liam slept with Gypsy. 6.30 Home And Away: Bay Reporter Joanna Adeyinka-Burford, the British winner of the ‘Bay Reporter’ competion, gets the lowdown on all things Home and Away on location in Sydney. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series. 8.00 Fairground Attractions Documentary. Look into the steamy world of love and sex on the fair and meet young lovers Matt and Georgina, who struggle to keep their romance secret. 9.00 The Mentalist Crime drama. When Lisbon and the team come across a dead body while on protection duty for the mayor, Jane discovers a suspect for a crime that has yet to be committed. 10.00 It’s All About Amy Documentary series. Amy unveils her salon plans and begins the exciting process of designing the interior. Just how much pink is too pink? Ugh. 11.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 Animal Rescue Squad 4.10 Wildlife SOS (x2) 4.55 Rough Guide To Beaches 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 9.00 LIVE Nedbank Golf Challenge 2.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Hyundai A League 3.00 Carling Cup Football 4.30 Football’s Greatest 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Carling Cup Football 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Carling Cup Football 11.00 Time Of Our Lives 12.00am The Rugby Club 1.00 LIVE NFL 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open

Sky Sports 2 7.25am Cricket 3.30pm Test Cricket 4.30 Golf 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Cricket 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Spanish Football 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Carling Cup Football 1.30 Spanish Football 3.00 Fishing Gurus 3.30 British Rallyzone 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Ringside 7.00 Test Cricket 8.00 Cricket 9.00 WWE Late Night Raw 11.00 WWE NXT 12.00am Ringside 1.00 Carling Cup Football 2.00 Racemax 3.00 Close Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Modern Family (x2) 1.00 House (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Futurama (x2) 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Glee 10.00 House 11.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 12.00am Brit Cops 1.00 Law And Order 1.50 Hawaii Five-0

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am The World’s Strictest Parents 1.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 3.00 Fast Food Baby

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1976 8.00 Knocking On Heaven’s Door - Space Race: Storyville 9.00 America In Pictures: The Story Of Life Magazine 10.00 The Slap 10.55 Top Of The Pops: 1976 11.25 Arena 1.00am Bobby Fischer: Genius And Madman - Storyville

3.40pm Beauty And The Geek 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The X Factor USA: Performance Show 8.30 You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 Supersize Kids: Britain’s Tallest Teens 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: Inside Man (2006) 1.35am Coronation Street

12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 Pie In The Sky 3.00 The Father Dowling Mysteries 4.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 5.15 On The Buses 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 Law & Order: UK 12.05am Numb3rs 12.55 Wycliffe 1.45 On The Buses 2.10 Film File

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 Perfect Couples 9.00 How I Met Your Mother 9.30 Happy Endings 10.00 Phoneshop. See highlights. 10.35 Facejacker 11.05 Dirty Digest 11.55 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 12.55am Scrubs (x2)

1.40pm The Good Wife 2.35 Come Dine With Me 3.05 Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me (x4) 9.00 Southland 10.00 The Closer 11.00 The Killing 12.00am Southland 12.55 The Closer 1.50 The Killing

11.00am The House Of Mirth (2000) 1.55pm None But The Brave (1965) 4.00 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 6.50 Crocodile Dundee II (1988) 9.00 Transformers (2007) 11.45 Heartbeats (2010) 1.40am I Killed My Mother (2009) 3.50 Close



Brighton Lights 33

Juice FM’s Andrea Fox and Latest 7’s Andrew Kay present The Foodie Awards. Top winners include Terre a Terre, who were named Best Restaurant in Brighton & Hove

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042_LS554_TV_Fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 24/11/2011 11:40 Page 1

friday 2 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! ITV1, 9pm See those tumbleweeds milling around the camp? Means it’s almost time for a winner to be declared. Only a few have survived and the race is on to claim that crown as king or queen of the jungle (and possibly a major supermarket endorsement). Bubbly ready?

Peter Kay’s Top 43 Greatest Comedy Moments Channel 4, 9pm Peter Kay’s done rather a lot of television. From Phoenix Nights to a special singing competition pastiche and a duet with Susan Boyle. This takes some of the highlights, classic clips, unseen out-takes and rare archive footage and helps you redevelop that fondness for garlic bread.

Him & Her BBC3, 9pm It’s everybody’s favourite layabout couple: Steve and Becky. Generally ‘trouble’ means trying to get someone else to buy the milk and bring it around, but today delivers a few more niggles than normal. Steve’s ex-girlfriend has organised job interviews for Laura and Shelley, and Paul turns to Steve for medical advice.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Noise Squad 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.40 Doctors 2.10 Only Fools And Horses 3.05 Driving Academy 3.35 Splatalot 4.00 Stuck On Sheep Mountain 4.30 Dani’s House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders Yusef faces another obstacle with the arrival of his cousin Tariq, who warns him off reuniting with Zainab. 8.30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook Reunited before Ronnie Barker passed away, the comedy legends reunite behind their famous desk. It’s goodnight from him... 9.00 Have I Got News For You Popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 9.30 Live At The Apollo Mock the Week star Andy Parsons hosts, with special guests including Andrew Lawrence, and Milton Jones. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Joining Graham on his sofa are Hollywood actress Jessica Biel, The Hangover star Bradley Cooper, top comic Sarah Millican, Gavin and Stacey star James Corden and rock legend Lenny Kravitz. 11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.30 FILM: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (1992) Starring Annabella Sciorra, Rebecca De Mornay, Matt McCoy. Thriller. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Question Time 2.20 Fry’s Planet Word 3.20 BBC News


6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Copycats 8.25 Iconicles 8.50 Lulu Zipadoo 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.20 Something Special 9.40 Charlie And Lola 9.55 ZingZillas 10.15 Big Barn Farm 10.25 Louie 10.35 Octonauts 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The Pink Panther Show 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Coast 1.15 Trash To Cash 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Escape To The Country 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, with Zoe Ball. 7.00 Heir Hunters Series following the work of probate researchers. 8.00 Mastermind Subjects are: The Richard Hannay novels of John Buchan; the Peak District; aircraft of World War II; Billboard no 1 singles, 1955-1994. 8.30 FILM: The Accidental Husband (2008) Starring Uma Thurman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Colin Firth, Sam Shepard. Romantic comedy. When an agony aunt advises one of her female listeners to break off her engagement, the jilted fiance decides to get his revenge on her. 9.50 Coast Series exploring Britain’s coastline. 10.00 QI Stephen Fry asks some intelligent questions. With Jo Brand, David Mitchell, Phill Jupitus and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.00 The Book Review Show Kirsty Wark is joined by guests including Marcel Theroux, Kate Mosse and Mark Ravenhill. 11.50 FILM: The Crossing Guard (1995) Starring Jack Nicholson, Angelica Huston. Drama. 1.35am BBC News


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Ade In Britain 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Amy is furious with David for revealing her secret. 7.30 Coronation Street Sian is taken aback by Sophie’s suggestion. Faye quietly fumes as Owen replaces her shed with a pond. 8.00 Wild Britain With Ray Mears Ray Mears heads to East Anglia to explore a beautiful area which is also one of the wildest and wettest parts of Britain. The Norfolk and Suffolk Broads are a vast low-lying wetland of fens and reed beds that are home to one of our largest spiders as well as the stunning swallowtail butterfly and the common crane. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Sally make it in time to stop Sophie and Sian eloping? After a tough few weeks Lloyd breaks down in Stella’s arms. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! See highlights. 10.30 ITV News At Ten; Weather 11.05 FILM: Jet Li’s Fearless (2006) Starring Jet Li, Betty Sun, Shido Nakamura and Nathan Jones. Martial arts action based on the true story of the legendary Chinese hero Huo Yuan Jia, who seeks to rebuild his reputation after an error of judgment leads to his master’s death. 12.55am The Zone 3.15 Columbo: A Bird In The Hand 4.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.55 The Secret Millionaire Australia 9.55 Relocation, Relocation 10.55 The Renovation Game 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 1.05 BT And Channel 4 Present... 1.10 FILM: Campbell’s Kingdom (1958) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes tries to come to terms with the results of the paternity test, while Ash wants to figure out exactly what’s going on with Scott and Annalise. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World Reporter Jenny Kleeman and director Daniel Bogado travel to the Mosquito Coast in Honduras, where indigenous people are risking their lives diving for lobsters destined for North American and European diners. Overfishing means they must now dive as deep as 150ft to land their catch. 7.55 8.00 Come Dine With Me Reality series. In Dundee and Lothian, super serious science student Ben Skerry takes on celebrity-obsessed school teacher Jessica McLaren, fun-loving prison manager Derek Taylor and uber-competitive office manager Cara-Anne Marshall. 9.00 Peter Kay’s Top 43 Greatest Comedy Moments See highlights. 11.05 Peter Kay Live At The Bolton Albert Halls Stand-up comedy from Peter Kay in front of a hometown audience. 12.10am Stand Up For The Week 1.00 FILM: Franklyn (2008) 2.40 Random Acts 2.45 Shameless 3.40 My Name Is Earl (x2) 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.20 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.05am Children’s television 7.05 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.25 Thomas & Friends 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Law And Order 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Meerkat Manor 2.45 FILM: Last Of The Dogmen (1995) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Sasha is elated after Stu tells her that he loves her. 6.30 Home And Away: Bay Reporter Joanna Adeyinka-Burford, the British winner of the ‘Bay Reporter’ competion, gets the lowdown on all things Home and Away on location in Sydney. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show with Tiff Needell, Vicki ButlerHenderson and Jonny Smith. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads Documentary. After a severe storm strands Rick, Lisa, and Dave in Keylong, Rick leads the charge back over the Rohtang Pass in the dark, pitting his driving skills against Mother Nature. 9.00 FILM: Black Hawk Down (2001) Starring Josh Hartnett, Ewan McGregor, Tom Sizemore, Jason Isaacs and Eric Bana. Gritty war drama based on the true story of a botched US Army mission in Somalia during the early 1990s. US Army Rangers parachute into Mogadishu in an attempt to capture a warlord’s two top lieutenants, but the operation goes disastrously wrong. 11.50 Inside Hollywood The latest film and TV news from the USA. 12.05am SuperCasino 4.05 Motorsport Mundial 4.30 Fifth Gear 4.55 Rough Guide To Cities 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 9.00 LIVE Nedbank Golf Challenge 2.00pm Carling Cup Football 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 Ringside 4.30 Carling Cup Football 5.30 Football League Weekend 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 9.45 LIVE Fight Night 12.00am Take It Like A Fan 12.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 1.00 European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 2.30 Fight Night 4.45 Sky Sports Classics 5.00 Football League Weekend

Sky Sports 2 7.30am Carling Cup Football 8.30 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 8.55 LIVE Cricket 5.30pm Test Cricket 6.30 European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Cricket 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE IRB Sevens Rugby 5.00pm WWE Raw 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 NFL 10.00 Take It Like A Fan 10.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.00 Football League Weekend 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 Tight Lines 2.00 Take It Like A Fan 2.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 3.00 Football League Weekend 4.00 Tight Lines 5.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open

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kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Modern Family (x2) 1.00 House (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Futurama (x2) 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 10.00 A League Of Their Own 11.00 The Cafe 11.30 Brit Cops 12.30am Road Wars 1.00 Big Trouble In Thailand

7.00pm Top Gear USA 7.45 Merlin 8.30 World’s Craziest Fools 9.00 Him & Her. See highlights. 9.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 American Dad! (x2) 12.00am Mongrels 12.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.00 Him & Her 1.30 World’s Craziest Fools

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Sacred Music: The Story Of Allegri’s Miserere 8.00 God’s Composer 9.00 Lionel Richie: Dancing On The Ceiling 10.00 Lionel Richie At The BBC 11.00 Motor City’s Burning: Detroit From Motown To The Stooges 12.00am Lionel Richie: Dancing On The Ceiling

3.40pm Beauty And The Geek 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The Cube 8.00 The X Factor USA: Results 9.00 Super Tiny Animals 10.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 10.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.30 FILM: Miss Congeniality 2: Armed And Fabulous (2005) 1.50am Coronation Street (x2)

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.05 The Father Dowling Mysteries 4.05 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 5.20 On The Buses 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 A Is For Acid 1.05am FILM: Nora Roberts: Northern Lights (2008) 2.45 Ironside

2.35pm Gilmore Girls 3.35 Desperate Housewives 4.30 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Desperate Scousewives 9.00 FILM: Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998) 11.20 Made In Chelsea 12.25am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

2.35pm Come Dine With Me 3.05 Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 River Cottage Best Bites 9.00 FILM: The Sixth Sense (1999) 11.05 FILM: World Trade Center (2006) 1.30am Come Dine With Me

11.00am Blowing Wild (1953) 12.45pm Broken Arrow (1950) 2.35 Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines (1965) 5.10 Murphy’s War (1971) 7.15 The Perfect Score (2003) 9.00 Brazil (1985) 11.45 Time Bandits (1981) 2.00am Cronos (1992) 3.55 Close



Brighton Lights 33

Guy Lloyd bares his legs for Oxjam, with help from a waxing session at Beautique Brighton in ‘Guy Does...’ Looking good, Guy!

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043_LS554_TV_Sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 25/11/2011 11:00 Page 1

saturday 3 Strictly Come Dancing BBC1, 7pm It’s film night. This does not mean skipping around a potter’s wheel to the tune of ‘Unchained Melody’ but that it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty of looking effortlessly graceful, ragdarnit! There are only six remaining couples and the judges have their favourites. Votes are cast, phone lines announced, yadda yadda.

I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! ITV1, 9.30pm Alright, so it’s actual winner time – when one person will be looking stunned and dishevelled and another thrilled for the recognition their new best friend has got. Ahhh. Best make sure they’re strong enough to walk over that rickety bridge to the champers though, Ant and Dec.

The Killing II BBC4, 9pm It’s all about Raben’s army squad! Did you know that? It is though. And Lund and Strange are racing across Sweden to try to question, as well as protect, the only other surviving member of the squad. Thing is, Raben’s doing exactly the same thing. Buch is pushed into passing the draconian antiterrorist bill. Can he live with it?


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Home Cooking Made Easy 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Snooker: UK Championships 2.00 Rugby Union: Wales V Australia 4.30 Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.20 South East Today 5.30 A Question Of Sport

6.00 Tonight’s The Night John Barrowman chooses some of his most memorable moments from the series, as well as making some brand new dreams come true. Teary tear tears. 7.00 Strictly Come Dancing See highlights. 8.00 Merlin Fantasy drama series. The Camelot Knights stumble across an eerie shrine deep in the forest, its chilling atmosphere betraying a dark history best left undisturbed. But when Elyan ignores Merlin’s warning, his actions spark a chain of events more frightening than anyone could possibly have imagined. Can a grievous wrong be put right? 8.45 Casualty Hospital drama. Ruth finishes with Jay just as they are looking forward to having a baby, Linda comes face to face with an old adversary who threatens her job and the ED catches fire. Whoosh! 9.35 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 9.45 BBC News 10.05 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights of all of the day’s Premier League fixtures. 11.30 The Football League Show The npower Championship takes centre stage in the Football League as many of the teams from Leagues One and Two turn their thoughts to round two of the FA Cup. 12.15am FILM: Mimic (1997) 1.55 Weatherview 2.00 BBC News


6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Roar 7.30 Arthur 7.50 Dennis & Gnasher 8.05 Pixelface 8.35 Splatalot 9.00 Live ‘n’ Deadly 10.00 Who Let The Dogs Out? 10.30 I Want My Own Room 11.00 Deadly Art 11.15 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 11.40 MOTD Kickabout 12.00pm FILM: Primrose Path (1940) 1.30 FILM: The Master Of Ballantrae (1953) 3.00 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 3.45 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 4.30 Snooker: UK Championship 5.30 Escape To The Country 6.30 Flog It! Paul Martin and the team visit the Isle of Wight. 7.30 Dad’s Army Classic comedy. In the very first episode of the series, Captain Mainwaring assumes command of the Local Defence Volunteers, an assumption others are not so eager to make. 8.00 100 Years Of The Palladium Cliff Richard, Bruce Forsyth, Michael Crawford and Andrew Lloyd Webber are among the stars sharing the gossip, glamour and behind-thescenes shenanigans of the world’s most famous theatre as it celebrates its 100th birthday. 9.00 QI XL Stephen Fry asks some intelligent questions. With Jo Brand, David Mitchell, Phill Jupitus and Alan Davies. 9.45 Pan Am Drama series about a 1960s airline. The Clipper Majestic is chartered by the US Navy to fly a planeload of rowdy sailors home. 10.25 Pan Am Drama series about a 1960s airline. When a passenger has a heart attack on board, the Clipper Majestic needs to make an emergency landing. 11.10 Rev. Sitcom. Repeat of Thursday’s show. 11.40 Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from day one’s first round matches. 12.30am Snooker: UK Championship – Extra


6.00am Signed Stories 6.10 Boblins 6.20 The Hive 6.30 The Hive 6.35 Handy Manny 6.50 Handy Manny 7.00 Tati’s Hotel 7.15 Monk 7.20 Super Hero Squad Show 7.45 Horrid Henry 8.00 The Cool Stuff Collective 8.25 Phineas And Ferb 8.40 Phineas And Ferb 9.00 Sonny With A Chance 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.45 This Morning: Saturday 12.45pm ITV News & Weather 12.50 You’ve Been Framed! 1.20 FILM: Small Soldiers (1998) 3.20 FILM: The Mummy (1999) 5.30 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News 6.00 The Chase Bradley Walsh presents a celebrity edition of the game show. Alex James, Ann Widdecombe, Sara Cox and Eamonn Holmes put their knowledge to the test against one of Britain’s finest quiz brains. 7.00 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill showcases more of viewers’ funniest home videos. 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Strap in for a rollicking ride through past Burps, as big-collared telly critic Harry Hill presents more of the funniest moments from past series. 8.00 The X Factor Dermot O’Leary presents the semi-final as the battle to win the biggest prize in pop moves a step closer to the end. The remaining acts will each be singing two songs live to win viewers’ votes and to impress judges Gary Barlow, Louis Walsh, Tulisa Contostavlos and Kelly Rowland. Watch those tears, those nerves and those bitten fingernails. 9.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! See highlights. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 FA Cup Highlights Matt Smith presents a round-up of all today’s action from the second round of the FA Cup. 11.45 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the tense game show. 12.45am The Zone 3.00 Kojak 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 Extreme Sailing Series 2011 7.00 CBE Great Ethiopian Run 7.55 The Morning Line 8.50 Smallville 9.50 Made In Chelsea 10.50 4Music Video Honours: Top 20 11.50 Pixie Lott: The Album Chart Show Special 12.20pm The Big Bang Theory 12.50 The Big Bang Theory 1.20 The Simpsons 1.50 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 Come Dine With Me 4.25 Come Dine With Me 4.55 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 Come Dine With Me Cookery-based reality series. 6.30 Jamie’s Great Britain Repeat of Tuesday’s episode. 7.30 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Tony Robinson’s Gods And Monsters Documentary series. In this episode, Tony Robinson examines ideas that today seem unbelievable, but were previously seen as uncontroversial and hugely influential, with some having shaped our history as much as mainstream religion. 9.00 FILM: Taken (2008) Starring Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen. Action thriller. Ex-CIA agent Bryan Mills leaves the service to spend more time with his daughter in California, but she is kidnapped by human traffickers while on holiday. Mills travels to Europe and uses his old skills to try and track her down. 10.50 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut The topical panel show presented by Jimmy Carr with captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson. Guests are Jack Dee, Stacey Solomon, David O’Doherty and Alex James. 11.40 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night Comedy quiz with Chris Moyles, who is joined by celebrities. 12.30am FILM: Waltz With Bashir (2008) 2.10 Shameless (x2) 3.45 Happy Endings 4.10 St Elsewhere 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Hoobs

Channel Five

6.00 – 7.50am Children’s television 7.50 Little Princess 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Funky Valley 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.50 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.45 Animal Families 10.00 The Gadget Show 11.00 London: The Inside Story 12.00pm FILM: The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 2.05 FILM: My Spy (2008) 3.50 FILM: Sleepless In Seattle (1993) 5.55 FILM: Ghostbusters II (1989) 8.10 5 News Weekend 8.15 NCIS Drama series about the US navy’s dedicated federal agency. When a sniper kills two marine recruiters, the agents must find the culprit before he strikes again. 9.00 An Audience With Bob Monkhouse Bob Monkhouse entertains an audience of celebrities including Michael Ball, Gaby Roslin, Stephen Fry, Jeremy Beadle, Phil Cool, Barbara Knox and Mandy Smith. These celebs dates the show! 10.05 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Police drama series about an elite sex crime unit based in New York. The team starts to fall apart. Tutuola requests a transfer, Lake shoots a suspect in cold blood and ADA Novak is caught trying to pervert the course of justice. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Crime drama series. When two people who were thought to be dead come back to life, the evidence leads the CSIs back to a discredited ex-professor who conducted bizarre death-related experiments in the 1970s. 11.55 Inside Hollywood The latest film and TV news from the USA. 12.00am SuperCasino 3.55 The Great Artists 4.25 Divine Designs 4.50 Rough Guide To Eco Escapes 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Take It Like A Fan 6.30 LIVE IRB Sevens Rugby 4.00pm LIVE International Rugby Union 6.30 Fight Night 8.00 LIVE Fight Night Live 10.00 International Rugby Union 11.00 European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 1.00am Spanish Football 2.30 Fight Night 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open

Sky Sports 2 7.30am NFL - America’s Game 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Ford Football Special 3.15 Sky Sports Classics 3.30 NFL – Total Access 4.30 World Sailing Championships 5.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x4) 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 9.00 LIVE Nedbank Golf Challenge 2.00pm Max Power 3.00 LIVE Davis Cup Tennis 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Cricket 11.55 LIVE Test Cricket

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm 35mm 2011 12.30 Glenn Martin, DDS (x2) 1.30 Road Wars 2.00 WWE Smackdown 4.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 5.00 Inside Gatwick 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Futurama (x4) 9.00 FILM: Multiplicity (1996) 11.15 Law And Order 12.15am Road Wars (x2) 1.45 Caprica 2.40 BNP Wives

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 9.45 FILM: Meet The Parents (2000) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am American Dad! (x2) 1.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 1.45 Great Movie Mistakes 2.40 Love On The Transplant List

7.00pm Yellowstone 8.00 Art Of America 9.00 The Killing II (x2). See highlights. 11.00 The Slap 11.55 Top Of The Pops: 1976 12.25am Big Hits: TOTP 1964 To 1975 1.55 Art Of America 2.55 Yellowstone 5.30 Close

2.50pm Holiday Showdown 3.50 All Star Family Fortunes 4.50 The Cube 5.50 FILM: Catwoman (2004) 8.00 Homes From Hell 9.00 Grimefighters 9.30 The Xtra Factor 10.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 12.00am New You’ve Been Framed! 12.30 The X Factor

9.50am FILM: The Secret Garden (1993) 11.50 Foyle’s War 1.55pm Foyle’s War 4.05 Foyle’s War 6.05 Agatha Christie’s Marple 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.00 Murder In Suburbia 12.05am Blue Murder 1.25 Duty Free 1.50 On The Buses 2.20 Film File 2.25 ITV3 Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping

1.05pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 3.40 Desperate Scousewives 4.45 FILM: Deck The Halls (2005) 6.35 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.30 Happy Endings 8.00 How I Met Your Mother 8.30 The Big Bang Theory 9.00 Rude Tube 10.00 FILM: 28 Weeks Later (2007) 12.00am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.35 Time Team (x2) 11.40 100 Greatest Christmas Moments 3.35pm Grand Designs (x5) 9.00 The Story Of Film: An Odyssey 10.25 FILM: The Sixth Sense (1999) 12.30am The Story Of Film: An Odyssey 1.55 Grand Designs (x2) 4.00 Close

11.00am The Yangtse Incident (1957) 1.00pm Cheaper By The Dozen 2 (2005) 2.50 Hombre (1967) 5.00 Little Manhattan (2005) 6.50 Silver Streak (1976) 9.00 Vanilla Sky (2001) 11.40 The Host (2006) 1.55am King Of The Hill (2007) 3.50 Close



Brighton Lights 33

Lizzie Gillett, producer of The Age Of Stupid – the film that inspired the 10:10 campaign – talks about the wonders Brighton University are doing to combat climate change

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044_LS554_TV_Sun_L7wed14apr.qxd 24/11/2011 11:35 Page 1

sunday 4 The Party’s Over: How The West Went Bust BBC2, 7pm BBC Business Editor Robert Peston takes a look at how we go into the current difficulties, going back 30 years to the root of it all when Thatcher and Reagan unleashed the free market revolution and in China Deng Xiao Ping opened the country to foreign capitalists. Informative.

The X Factor Results ITV1, 8pm So, the final’s at Wembley – that’s next week – so anyone who gets knocked out at this stage is going to be kicking themselves in the larynx for such a very near miss with such a huge live gig. It’s to 10,000 in case you didn’t know. No pressure then. Louis, Gary, Tulisa and Kelly will be hoping their acts get through.

Misfits E4, 10pm That Rudy! He’s a bit of goer, isn’t he? Well, he’d like to be and this week he gets his chance. Whe-hey! And ends up with a superpower STD. Only in Misfits would such a thing happen. With only 24 hours to undo the curse Rudy asks Simon to help him track down the mystery lady who gave him the mega lurghy.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.30 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Fern Britton Meets... 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.15 EastEnders 3.10 Frozen Planet 4.10 Frozen Planet 5.10 Points Of View 5.25 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Little Robots 6.10 The Large Family 6.20 Finley The Fire Engine 6.35 Little Charley Bear 6.45 Mike The Knight 7.00 Roar 7.30 Arthur 7.50 Dennis & Gnasher 8.05 League Of Super Evil 8.15 Jinx 8.35 Wingin’ It 9.00 Sam & Mark’s Big Friday Wind Up 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 12.15pm Escape To The Country 1.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 2.00 Snooker: UK Championship 5.30 FILM: Easy Virtue (2008)

6.00 – 6.45am Children’s television 6.45 Special Agent Oso 7.00 Sooty 7.10 Olly The Little White Van 7.15 Monk 7.20 The Cool Stuff Collective 7.45 Horrid Henry 8.00 Generator Rex 8.30 Victorious 9.00 Wizards Of Waverly Place 9.25 Monk 9.30 Horrid Henry 9.45 Horrid Henry 10.00 Finger Tips 10.15 Tricky TV 10.40 New You’ve Been Framed! 11.10 ITV News & Weather 11.15 All Star Family Fortunes 12.00pm FA Cup 2nd Round: AFC Totton V Bristol Rovers 3.05 The X Factor 4.35 Midsomer Murders

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 BT And Channel 4 Present... 6.35 Ironman UK 7.30 GE Blenheim Triathlon 7.55 One Tree Hill 8.50 Battlefront 9.05 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.40 Olly Murs: The Album Chart Show Special 12.10pm The Simpsons 12.45 Shipwrecked: The Island 1.45 The Simpsons 2.15 FILM: Turner And Hooch (1989) 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.20 Channel 4 News 5.45 The Political Slot 5.50 5.55 FILM: The Golden Compass (2007)

6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 9.00 Sunday Supplement 10.30 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm LIVE Scottish Premier League 3.00 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.25 Scottish Premier League 6.55 LIVE Spanish Football (x2) 10.30 Ford Football Special 12.00am Scottish Premier League 12.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Ford Football Special 4.00 Scottish Premier League 4.30 Spanish Football

7.00 The Party’s Over: How The West Went Bust See highlights. 8.00 How To Build A Jumbo Jet Engine The story of the thousands of people who design, build and test engines in manufacturing plants in Derby and across the UK for RollsRoyce, the world leaders in the market for jumbo jet engines. 9.00 Mark Zuckerberg: Inside Facebook In just seven years, Mark Zuckerberg has gone from his Harvard college dorm to running a business with 800 million users, and a possible value of $100 billion. His idea to “make the world more open and connected” has sparked a revolution in communication, and now looks set to have a huge impact on business too. Featuring a rare interview with Zuckerberg himself, Emily Maitlis reports on life inside Facebook. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Colin Murray introduces full highlights from the day’s two Barclays Premier League matches. 11.00 Fast And Loose Hugh Dennis presents improvised comedy with guests Ruth Bratt, Justin Edwards, Pippa Evans, Humphrey Ker, Tom Parry and David Reed. 11.30 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Repeat of Monday’s show. 12.00am Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights 12.50 Snooker: UK Championship – Extra 2.50 BBC News

6.35 Meridian News; Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the tense game show. Theresa from Tottenham and retired grandfather Lenny are both confident that they can beat the Cube – but will they be able to keep their cool? Ridiculously rivetting. 8.00 The X Factor Results See highlights. 9.00 A Night With Beyonce Steve Jones presents a one-off musical spectacular in which global superstar Beyonce performs some of her best-known hits as well as tracks from her chart-topping album 4 in front of an audience of her biggest fans. She will also take questions from the crowd. Most likely the questions will be more relevent to her life than say, further maths Alevel or Physics HCSE. Just saying. 10.15 ITV News; Weather 10.30 FA Cup Highlights Matt Smith presents a round-up of the day’s FA Cup action plus news and reaction from the third round draw. 11.30 Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership Craig Doyle and Martin Bayfield present highlights coverage of round 10, as Harlequins look to continue their unbeaten run at the top of the Aviva Premiership. 12.30am The Zone 2.00 Motorsport UK 2.55 Kojak 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

8.00 The Secret Millionaire Series in which millionaires go undercover in a deprived area. Mike Holland, who owns a property portfolio around Brighton, visits Grimsby. There he volunteers at a club that takes care of children with additional needs and meets a couple who’ve recently set up a charity. 9.00 Black Mirror Series of dramas produced by Charlie Brooker. The first episode is a political thriller in which a fictional Prime Minister faces a dilemma when a much-loved member of the Royal Family is kidnapped. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Comedy chat show with Alan Carr. Alan is joined by the stars of Life’s Too Short, Ricky Gervais and Warwick Davis, and presenter Vernon Kay, while Ed Sheeran perfoms his latest single, Lego. 11.05 FILM: Escape From Alcatraz (1979) Starring Clint Eastwood, Patrick McGoohan, Roberts Blossom, Jack Thibeau, Fred Ward and Paul Benjamin. Fact-based story set in America’s former maximum-security prison, from which escape was supposed to be impossible. But for habitual jailbreaker Frank Morris, Alcatraz is just another set of bars and walls that will never hold him. Won’t be easy though. 1.15am American Football Live 4.45 Postmodern Pastimes 5.00 Freesports On 4 5.25 Countdown

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Angelina Ballerina 8.45 Mio Mao 8.50 Rupert Bear 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.10 The Mr. Men Show 9.25 Funky Valley 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.40 Animal Families 10.00 Inside Hollywood 10.05 Andre Rieu At The Albert Hall 11.05 Highland Emergency 11.35 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 12.35pm FILM: What About Bob? (1991) 2.30 FILM: The Fifth Element (1997) 5.00 FILM: Click (2006) 7.10 5 News 7.15 FILM: XXx2: The Next Level (2005) Starring Ice Cube, Samuel L Jackson, Willem Dafoe, Peter Strauss and Xzibit. Action movie sequel. An internal military threat to overthrow the government leads US intelligence to recruit a dangerous renegade from the ghetto to be the new secret agent XXX. 9.00 FILM: Pineapple Express (2008) Starring Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride, Kevin Corrigan, Craig Robinson, Gary Cole, Rosie Perez, Ed Begley Jr, Nora Dunn and Amber Heard. Comedy. A hapless stoner witnesses a murder and goes on the run with his dealer when he realises he has accidentally dropped incriminating evidence at the crime scene. 11.15 FILM: Harold And Kumar Get The Munchies (2004) Starring John Cho, Kal Penn, Ethan Embry, Paula Garces and David Krumholtz. Comic road movie in which two roommates get stoned and drive through the night to satisfy their longing for their favourite burger. From the director of Dude, Where’s My Car? Remarkable cameo from Neil Patrick Harris. 1.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Animal Rescue Squad 4.10 Nick’s Quest 4.35 Divine Designs 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00 BBC News 6.15 South East Today 6.25 Countryfile Ellie Harrison explores the literary landscape of the Vale of Aylesbury. 7.25 Strictly Come Dancing Results Join Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman for another exciting results show. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the experts visit Layer Marney Tower near Colchester. 9.00 Garrow’s Law Legal drama set in the late 18th century. A vicious riot erupts on polling day in the Westminster constituency. As the crowd parts, an old man lies on the ground, brutally clubbed to death. Garrow, alone and grieving, gets pulled into a complex web of conspiracy and cover-up. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the popular news quiz. 11.10 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon returns to the host’s chair for the fourth series of the comedy show. 11.40 The Sky At Night Sir Patrick Moore discusses the ice giants Uranus and Neptune. 12.00am FILM: Amityville III: The Demon (1983) 1.25 Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman 2.10 Holby City 3.10A Farmer’s Life For Me 4.10News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Football First: Match Choice 7.30 Football First: Match Choice 9.00 LIVE Nedbank Golf Challenge 2.00pm Max Power 3.00 Spirit Of Yachting 3.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby 6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 1.00am Davis Cup Tennis 3.00 IRB Sevens Rugby 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.30am Spanish Football 9.00 Fight Night 11.00 Max Power 12.00pm Test Cricket 1.00 World Sailing Championships 1.30 Spirit Of Yachting 2.00 Fight Night 4.00 This Week In WWE 4.30 WWE Experience 5.30 LIVE NFL (x2) 12.30am Road To London 1.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 2.00 WWE Vintage Collection 3.00 Spirit Of Yachting 3.30 World Sailing Championships 4.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm UK Border Force 1.00 Dinolab 2.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 3.00 Futurama (x2) 4.00 Glee 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Simpsons (x3) 7.00 Terra Nova 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 Ross Kemp Back On The Frontline 11.00 UK Border Force 12.00am House

7.00pm Great TV Mistakes 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special 10.00 American Dad! (x2) 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.30 Him & Her 12.00am Mongrels 12.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.00 Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special 2.00 The World’s Strictest Parents

7.00pm Hidcote: A Garden For All Seasons 8.00 America On A Plate: The Story Of The Diner 9.00 The Interrupters - How To Stop A Riot: Storyville 11.00 FILM: Diner (1982) 12.45am Lionel Richie: Dancing On The Ceiling 1.45 Lionel Richie At The BBC 2.45 Motor City’s Burning: Detroit From Motown To The Stooges

1.30pm FILM: Bean (1997) 3.15 Holiday Showdown 4.15 Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.35 The Xtra Factor 5.35 FILM: Wild Wild West (1999) 7.45 Planet’s Funniest Animals 8.00 Grimefighters (x2) 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.15 FILM: Duplicity (2009) 12.45am Harry Hill’s TV Burp 1.20 Planet’s Funniest Animals

9.25am Heartbeat 10.30 Foyle’s War (x3) 4.30 FILM: Arthur (1981) 6.25 Mr Bean 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Hornblower 1.10am FILM: If Only (2004) 2.45 Duty Free 3.10 ITV3 Nightscreen 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

1.40pm FILM: Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998) 4.00 Make It Or Break It (x2) 5.55 Sorority Girls 6.55 Scrubs (x2) 7.55 FILM: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) 10.00 Misfits. See highlights. 11.05 Tool Academy 12.05am Dirty Digest 12.55 Rhod Gilbert And The Award-Winning Mince Pie 2.00 The War At Home

1.50pm Four In A Bed (x5) 4.35 Rob Brydon Booked: Stars Of The Galaxy National Book Awards 5.05 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 A River Cottage Christmas Feast 9.00 Heston’s Christmas Feast 10.00 Father Ted Christmas Special 11.15 Vic Reeves’ Turner Prize Moments 12.15am Father Ted

11.00am 23 Paces To Baker Street (1956) 1.00pm Nacho Libre (2006) 2.45 McLintock! (1963) 5.10 The African Queen (1951) 7.15 Jingle All The Way (1996) 9.00 The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008) 11.00 The Page Turner (2006) 12.40am In The Cut (2003) 3.10 Close



Brighton Lights 33

In the Playgroup Festival, it’s not just the performers on stage who are the stars, it’s the audience. William Ranieri dresses up and joins in the fun

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045_LS554_TV_Mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 25/11/2011 09:16 Page 1

monday 5 The Great Bread Experiment BBC 2, 7pm Curtate Cath Vickers tries to reunite the town of Bedale in the Yorkshire Dales through homebaked bread in the first of a three part series. With the help of artisan bakers Patrick Ryan and Duncan Glendinning, it is dubbed as a social experiment, with the hope it will inspire the rest of the community to get involved.

The Great British Property Scandal Channel 4, 9pm George Clarke investigates how much public money is invested in the one million empty homes in Britain at a time when two million families are on the housing list. He aims to prove that refurbishment is quicker then building from scratch and tries to house a family by Christmas.

Family Guy BBC 3, 11pm It took years to become a regular on our TV screens after being largely ignored by mainstream channels, now we can’t get away from it. Fans of the show have probably already seen this double bill a number of times, but no doubt will watch it anyway. And the people that haven’t got it by now probably never will.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Noise Squad 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.40 Doctors 2.10 Only Fools And Horses 3.05 Driving Academy 3.35 Splatalot 4.00 Alesha’s Street Dance Stars 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00am – 12.00 Children’s television 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Snooker: UK Championship 3.45 Hairy Bikers’ Best Of British 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Murder, She Wrote 5.00 Best Dish: The Chefs

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 The Secret Millionaire USA 9.55 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 10.55 Sealed Bid 12.00pm Drop Down Menu 1.20 FILM: Seven Days To Noon (1950) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Date With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00am – 9.15am Children’s television 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Law And Order 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.15 FILM: Jesse Stone: Night Passage (2006) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 8.00 Spirit Of Yachting 8.30 World Sailing Championships 8.55 LIVE International Cricket 5.30pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 Netbusters 7.00 LIVE Ford Monday Night Football 10.30 Netbusters 11.00 SPL Round-Up 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30am Ford Monday Night Football 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Amy has some shocking news for Val and Pollard. 7.30 Coronation Street The lure of the casino proves too much for Karl and Tina gets in trouble with the law. 8.00 Little England Last in the documentary series following British expats in the Dordogne. 8.30 Coronation Street The memorial for the tram crash weighs on Peter’s mind and Tommy thinks Tina is plotting revenge. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!: Coming Out Ant and Dec present the show revealing what it is like for I’m a Celebrity contestants when they leave camp. 10.00 ITV News At Ten and Weather 10.35 The Fight Of Their Lives The 1995 world title fight boxing match between Nigel Benn and Gerald McClellan ended in tragically and has never been broadcast since. This documentary reunites the two fighters after years of bitterness. 11.50 David Jason’s Greatest Escapes David Jason investigates the amazing real-life wartime escape stories that were the inspiration for iconic dramas such as Colditz and The Great Escape. 12.40am The Zone 2.45 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons Homer finds himself in deep trouble after taking credit for Marge’s carpentry skills. 6.30 Hollyoaks Brendan gets his claws into Joel and Warren sees red. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Turner Prize 2011 Lauren Laverne hosts live coverage of the Turner Prize from the Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art in Gateshead. 8.30 Landlords From Hell: Dispatches In this undercover investigation, Jon Snow reports on the return of the slum landlord in 21st-century Britain. 9.00 The Great British Property Scandal See highlights. 10.00 The Million Pound Drop Live Davina McCall hosts as contestants are given a million pounds at the start of the show but face tough questions to hold on to the cash. 11.30 Random Acts Series of threeminute films. 11.35 My Transsexual Summer The group meet up at the retreat to work together in an attempt to build up their confidence. Lewis tries to raise funds for his mastectomy whilst reconnecting with his father. 12.40am Coral Late Night Poker 1.35 Confessions Of An Undercover Cop 2.30 Shameless US 3.25 Happy Endings 3.50 Momma’s Boy 4.15 I Hate That Smile 4.20 St Elsewhere 5.10 The Untold Invasion Of Britain

6.00 Home And Away After being given an award at school, and then hearing Sid went to the police over the stolen pad, April becomes paranoid. 6.25 OK! TV Jeff Brazier and Jenny Frost host a mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn examines the feats of science and engineering behind everyday life. 8.00 The Gadget Show This Christmas special reveals exactly what Christmas presents should be at the top of your list this year. Polly and Suzi enlist the help of singing service men The Soldiers. 9.00 Charley Boorman’s Extreme Frontiers Charley gets on his bike and heads for the Big Muddy Badlands on his way to this week’s first stop. 10.00 FILM: Shadow Man (2006) An ex-CIA operative is on a trip to Romania to rescue his daughter, but along the way he discovers a sinister plot is at work. Staring Steven Seagal of course. 12.00am UFC: Ultimate Fighting Championship 12.50 Inside Hollywood 1.00 SuperCasino Live 4.00 Animal Rescue Squad 4.10 Five VOD Grey’s Anatomy 4.55 Rough Guide To Weekend Breaks 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

Sky Sports 2 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex Jones present the stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 Inside Out Was the Southeastern High Speed rail link a good idea for Kent? Is Polegate the best place to trial badger-culling? 8.00 EastEnders As Yusef and Zainab get ready to move to Pakistan, a secret threatens to ruin their plans. 8.30 The Truth About Supermarket Price Wars – Panorama Our leading supermarkets are doing battle for our cash. They claim their price war is good news for shoppers in these tough times, but are their money-saving offers all they seem? 9.00 Young Apprentice With the final looming, Lord Sugar makes a surprise call to the house to deliver some dramatic news. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today . 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz. 11.05 John Bishop’s Britain John Bishop presents viewers with a mix of stand-up and sketches. 11.50 The Graham Norton Show Repeat of Friday’s show. 12.40am Weatherview 12.45 Sign Zone: Who Do You Think You Are? 1.45 Natural World: Komodo – Secrets Of The Dragon 2.45 Dragons’ Den. 3.45 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, training action and exclusive news with Zoe Ball at the helm. 7.00 The Big Bread Experiment See Highlights. 8.00 University Challenge Quiz. hosted by Jeremy Paxman. 8.30 MasterChef: The Professionals It is the semi-finals and double Michelin-starred chef Michel Roux Jnr and MasterChef dining expert Gregg Wallace now crank up the heat as they hunt for Britain’s next culinary superstar. 9.00 RBS: Inside The Bank That Ran Out Of Money Documentary charting how The Royal Bank of Scotland came near to collapse in 2008. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Cilla Black guest hosts the music quiz show. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 Snooker: UK Championship – Highlights Rishi Persad introduces highlights from tonight’s first-round match. 12.10am Snooker: UK Championship – Extra 2.10 BBC News BBC

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 WWE The Bottom Line 7.30 Davis Cup Tennis 9.30 Ford Football Special 11.00 Spanish Football 12.30pm Scottish Premier League 1.00 Ford Football Special 2.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 Spanish Football 4.30 Scottish Premier League 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Wild Spirits 6.00 Fishing Gurus 6.30 World Sailing Championships 7.00 Showjumping 8.00 NFL 10.00 Test Cricket 11.00 International Cricket 12.00am European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 1.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 2.30 PGA Tour Classic 3.30 Showjumping 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Fight Night 7.30 Kings Of The Snow 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 1.00pm European Tour Golf: UBS Hong Kong Open 3.00 Fight Night 4.30 Kings Of The Snow 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Table Tennis 8.00 Test Cricket 9.00 International Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

Chris Dyer

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Modern Family (x2) 1.00 House (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Terra Nova 9.00 Ross Kemp Back On The Frontline 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 11.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 12.00am Brit Cops 1.00 Big Trouble In Tourist Thailand

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 8.30 Skin Deep: The Business Of Beauty 9.00 Exposed: Groomed For Sex 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Mongrels 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Skin Deep: The Business Of Beauty 1.00 Exposed: Groomed For Sex 2.00 Mongrels

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Jimmy And The Wild Honey Hunters 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 The Golden Age Of Trams: A Streetcar Named Desire 10.00 The Story Of Light Entertainment 11.30 Blackpool Tram 12.00am Only Connect 12.30 The Golden Age Of Trams: A Streetcar Named Desire

12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Beauty And The Geek 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The X Factor 8.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 FILM: Duplicity (2009) 11.30 FILM: Three Kings (1999) 1.40am Coronation Street (x2) 2.30 Emmerdale

12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Pie In The Sky 3.00 The Father Dowling Mysteries 4.00 The Lakes 4.35 On The Buses (x2) 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Pie In The Sky 7.50 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 A Touch Of Frost 11.00 Prime Suspect 1.10am Cracker 2.00 On The Buses 2.30 ITV3 Nightscreen

2.35pm Gilmore Girls 3.30 Desperate Housewives 4.30 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 9.00 Rude Tube 10.00 Desperate Scousewives 11.00 Sorority Girls 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.05 Scrubs

4.40pm A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x4) 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 Undercover Boss USA 11.00 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 11.30 Unreported World 12.00am The Secret Millionaire 1.00 Undercover Boss USA

11.00am Cloak And Dagger (1946) 1.05pm Battle Of The River Plate (1956) 3.25 Carry On Constable (1960) 5.10 Brief Encounter (1945) 6.50 Entrapment (1999) 9.00 Cypher (2002) 10.50 William Shakespeare’s Romeo And Juliet (1996) 1.10am Late Spring (1949) 3.30 Close



Invite Val Aviv to cover your event

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Latest 7: No. 554  

Monkey Business Is it a bar? Is it a jazz club? Is it a cabaret? Yes, it’s The Jive Monkey, Brighton’s best new reason to stay out late

Latest 7: No. 554  

Monkey Business Is it a bar? Is it a jazz club? Is it a cabaret? Yes, it’s The Jive Monkey, Brighton’s best new reason to stay out late