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the city magazine for brighton & hove

Latest TV The stars of Brighton Comedy Festival, exclusive Shakedown Festival coverage with Example Razorlight and Ed Sheeran, plus a Cribs-style property special

H jobs H news H food H listings H tv guide H

18 – 24 October 2011


FESTIVE SHOWS From traditional pantos to classical ballet, our bumper guide to the best shows this Christmas

Let it snow

SELENA GOMEZ The Hollywood actress on her new film Monte Carlo

Put on your sparkling best for the Chestnut Tree House Snowman Spectacular Ball page 19

HOW GREEN ARE THE GREENS? Frank le Duc looks at housing, waste & the city’s park & ride scheme

Available for private parties with karaoke Now taking Christmas bookings 19 PRINCE ALBERT STREET, BRIGHTON

01273 321321

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003_LS548_contents _Contents 14/10/2011 17:05 Page 1


CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine



>on tv


Brighton Lights Ep.32

04 Latest People Winkworth, Mayo Wynne Baxter, Naked Eye Gallery, The Townhouse Kemp Town, Graham Fulford Charitable Trust and Brighton Dancing 06 Latest Brighton & Hove News & Jobs; Latest Inbox The Green Party and the City Plan; the Ropetackle Arts Centre; White Night Festival and letters 12 Sport: Brighton & Hove Albion Tony Bloom; Gary Dicker and Rebecca Thompson interviewed, plus a look at West Ham and Millwall 14 Bare Cheek Festivals you won’t see and Hove Factually 14 Mad Matt Matt Whistler enters the world of computer games 15 City Speak Ruby takes up cooking, Tasha is left behind, and Will recalls his first day in Brighton 16 Snapshots Hove business coach and author Nicola McHale 16 Competitions Bumper DVD giveaways and new Cliff Richard CDs! 17 Celebcity X Factor’s Frankie and Terry; Jordan’s identity crisis 31 Geeks on Wheels Jamie Shaw looks at the life of the late Steve Jobs

L7 INTERVIEW 18 Young US actress and singer Selena Gomez leaves her Disney days in her new film, romantic comedy Monte Carlo. ‘Mrs Bieber’ talks to Latest 7 about perfecting a bad British accent for her latest role

LIFESTYLE 19 Cover Feature: Chestnut Tree House A look ahead to the annual Snowman Spectacular ball in aid of Chestnut Tree House Children’s Hospice 20 Christmas shows special feature From traditional pantos to the West End hit Spamalot – must see shows for all the family this festive season 29 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink; Hotlist The winners of the Brighton & Hove Foodie Awards 2011 31 Health & Beauty Breast Cancer Awareness Month: fundraising ideas

18 20 If you’re selling your property with a local estate agent we have a great prize up for grabs courtesy of Latest TV: the chance to win a film promoting your property. We all love a good property show, and this time your home can be the star. To enter just watch Episode 32 of Brighton Lights featuring our Cribs-style show special, and answer the question in Latest Homes, p20. Watch it at

Comedy, music or clubs?


WHAT’S ON 32 Reviews & bookings; Latest Brighton Download Chart Brighton Comedy Festival gems; Steps 2012 tour 34 Latest Previews Early Music Festival; Contagion in cinemas 38 Stars; TV Highlights & Listings Horoscopes; BBC4’s The Slap; seven-day TV listings Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Accounts & administration Claire Peerless


Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Entertainment Editor & Production Editor Victoria Nangle Editor Zara Baker

It’s one of the most arty houses in Brighton. A veritable grand design with state of the art everything including a sound system that literally comes out of the walls and a home cinema. This is a house that a film director would feel great in. But it’s also a lovely family home as Val Aviv and Andrew Kay found when they visited the property, and interviewed the current owner and designer of this amazing house in Lloyd Road in Hove. It’s on sale now with Goldin Lemcke. (See Latest Homes p20.) This home also features on Brighton Lights, our online magazine TV show. Latest Homes/7 is famous for combining clubbing and property in one popular magazine. Now Brighton Lights does the same. We feature an exclusive look at the stars of Brighton’s new and so successful Shakedown Festival: Example, Ed Sheeran and Razorlight, then marvel at the Brando and Heath Ledger on the walls of Goldin Lemcke’s dream home. Then it’s on to Brighton Comedy Festival to meet the stars, namely Radio 1’s Chris Cox, Krater’s Stephen Grant and Universal Genius Mark Allen. Presented by Val Aviv. Watch Brighton Lights at Bill Smith

Find out what’s going on in Brighton while you’re on the move with comprehensive listings straight to your mobile phone Sub Editors Chris Dyer Glyn George Jamie Jolley Rachel Junior Editorial Assistant Laura Burgess

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Music Listings Nick Aldwinckle Design Anand Day Tom Scrace Andrew Wright

Illustrators Lili Bé Graham Clark Paul Lewis Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

Watch our shows at

latest brighton the digital capital of europe

01273 818150 Editorial: Advertising: Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

004_005_LS548_latest people_Social Diary 14/10/2011 15:16 Page 2




Naked Eye, Brighton Dancing, Winkworth, The Townhouse Kemp Town, Graham Fulford Charitable Trust, Mayo Wynn Baxter

Let’s get Naked

Dip into salsa

David Donno of Naked Eye Gallery has launched a new exhibition, ‘Erotica’, sponsored by Graze Restaurant. The exhibition comprises art work in different media, photography and sculpture. At the private viewing launch on Friday 8 October guests were treated to wine and canapés from Graze Restaurant and the chance to browse the exhibits. For details of opening times please call 01273 204800. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Carola Degener-Pereira established Brighton Dancing 20 years ago and celebrated in style with a day of dancing at The King Alfred, Kingsway in Hove. There were dance classes available all day finishing up with a Tea Dance involving all types of dancing. There are many events coming up in the future and if you have never danced before then waltz your way to the website and book some lessons. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

David Donno (centre, Naked Eye Gallery), Lucy Porter (exhibiting artist)

Jason Thomas (Ocean Wave Pilates), Kate Aleston, Dr Doreen Baxter, Paul McLinden (Ocean Wave Pilates)

Albert Andoh (teaches Le Roc Salsa), Theressa Holden (Le Roc) Luke Spadavecchia, Danielle Olbison Francesco Andreoli, Tanja Raaste

Stephen Jarvis (Swallow & Bone), Zoe & Holly Jarvis

Testing times

The Townhouse Kemp Town celebrates Toby White-Wren and Mike Benwell, the proprietors of The Townhouse Kemp Town Restaurant and Bar celebrated their 1st birthday with fizz, canapés and music from The Piano Man and So Trio. Following on from a rave review by Andrew Kay in Latest 7 (27 September), look out for their new autumn menu and events leading up to and including Christmas. The Townhouse Kemp Town can be found at 81–82 St James’s Street, Brighton, BN2 1PA, 01273 693216, Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Carola Degener-Pereira with the dance teachers

Kath Marlow, Franke Darling, Nikki Francis, Billy Mauseth (Regis Events)

Mike Benwell (Proprietor), Harry Woodhams (General Manager), Toby White-Wren (Proprietor)

Graham Fulford started the Graham Fulford Charitable Trust, having lost a friend and his brother-in-law to Prostate cancer, and has raised around £250,000 since 2004 and alongside the Prostate Cancer Support Organisation, who held a very informative and relaxed talk from David BaxterSmith a Consultant Urologist followed by the opportunity of having a simple blood test at the Brighthelm Church and Community Centre in North Road on Saturday 8 October which was very well attended. The blood test known as PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) is used to help detect prostate cancer and any man aged over 50 (or men over 45 with a family history of it) are entitled to an annual test. Consult with your GP with any concerns. More information can be seen at, and at Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

Trevor Edwards (Pride), Mike Cardome (Cardome Gifts), Santi Ventura, Mark Stacey (Auctioneer & Valuer) Mr David Baxter-Smith (consultant urologist), Graham Fulford, Roger Bacon (PCaSO), Barry Cokeham (group leader, Brighton), Margeret Ticehurst (volunteer)

Matt Fletcher (The Twenty One), Susie Brown (Marina House Hotel), Andy Cole (The Twenty One), Telly Govaart (Marina House Hotel)

Chris Storey, Nicola Thomas & Richard Zinzan (Archangels Architects)

Becky, John, Vicky Chandler

PSA blood testing

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First to celebrate

Under the sea

Winkworth, the Estate Agents in Lewes, celebrated its 1st Birthday with bubbles and canapés. Winkworth is part of the network which now has over 80 independently owned and operated offices. The office, situated at 23 High Street, specialises in the sale and letting of individual character properties in Lewes and its many surrounding villages. The Lewes office covers a wide area and includes the villages of Newick, Chailey and Barcombe to the north, Plumpton to the west, Isfield to the East and as far south as Newhaven. Winkworth, 23 High Street, Lewes. 01273 471471 Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

The region’s leading law firm Mayo Wynne Baxter and Brighton’s best loved radio station Juice FM teamed up with VnC Cocktails for an opportunity to try some of their range of naturally spirited cocktails at an underwater tasting and networking event at Brighton Sea Life Centre. Whilst the event was free, attendees were invited to make a donation to the Merlin’s Magic Wand children’s charity which Sealife supports.

James Pacey (Brighton office), Tom Coffey (Lewes office), Adam Hinchcliffe (Brighton office)


VnC are a New Zealand company who are launching their product in the UK. The only ingredients in VnC Cocktails are premium vodka and 100 per cent natural fruit juices, sourced from the world’s best suppliers. That’s it. Nothing else. No artificial preservatives or additives. Words and photos: Patrick Kneath

037 038 (he

Sam, Sarah, Shaun (VnC)

Mel Parker (Starr Trust), Becky Stevens (Brighton Half Marathon)

Daniels Lyons (Lyons Finance), Angela Ramsey (associate partner), Christopher Dorling (client)

Alex Standen (Tunbridge Wells office), Kathryn Wilson (Brighton office)


Declan Van Der Burgh (Lewes office), Emma Bailey (Hove office), Mike Sealey (Team Creative)

039 Dav 039 Cliv 039 fro Ass 039 (Br

Ed Wray (, Sue & Clive Bonny (Strategic Management Partners)

Micala Wilkins (SeeThat Media), Joe Davenport (B&Hv City Council)

Ryan Heal (MD, Juice FM), Jason Edge (head of marketing, MWB)

David Gordon, Amy Nicolls, Lara Squires (All from MWB), Ross Osborne (Smith Osborne Associates)

Over 70? Latest TV wants to hear from you! are putting a TV show together hosted by the incredibly talented performer and comedian Lynn Ruth Miller. Lynn broke into comedy aged 71! We are looking to feature interesting people aged 70+ who, like Lynn, have changed their life drastically and for the better since getting older. The show is about ageing and will cover issues including: new careers, what is beautiful, and keeping up with technology. When the BBC asked Lynn why she moved into comedy she replied: “Because I could”. Lynn thinks that too many of the elderly generation listen to younger people who tell them they cannot or are too old to do something they have always wanted to do. If you have an interesting and inspiring story or know of someone who has, please contact us today: to be involved with our new show.

006_LS548_newsphilmills_council_editorial 14/10/2011 12:07 Page 2


latest brighton & hove news

7 days of headlines with phil mills Residents march against traveller sites, new city recycling, and wife sinks husband’s prize yacht


t was a week dominated once again by the vexed subject of travellers and, for the first time, residents took to the streets – or the fields, at least. As many as 1,000 turned out to oppose Happy Valley in Woodingdean being considered for a permanent travellers site, in response to the City Council asking for people's views on travellers' facilities. Brighton Kemp Town MP Simon Kirby is urging the Council to rule out Happy Valley, while his colleague in Hove and Portslade Mike Weatherley is demanding tougher action including an end to tolerated sites. He joined residents in Hangleton after Greenleas Park was occupied by travellers and there were complaints of noise, damage and rubbish. He said similar problems have affected Stanmer Park,

Brighton & Hove City Council leader Bill Randall on White Night Festival


he time of year is approaching where we turn our clocks back an hour and feel that familiar shock of waking up to near-darkness in the mornings. In Brighton & Hove however, the onset of autumn means something different and exciting to residents of the city – the annual White Night festival. With its French sister festival, Nuit Blanche in Amiens, it forms a unique experience. The free all-night event takes full advantage of the extra hour of darkness to host arts events,

Withdean Park, Hollingbury Park, Ladies Mile Nature Reserve and the Old Steine. There were complaints of an uglier nature at the city's new football stadium. Let's Kick Racism Out and the Football Association launched an investigation into claims by Liverpool and Wales striker Craig Bellamy that he was called racist names by so-called fans while playing at The Amex. With 28 arrests mainly for violence after the club's home tie against Crystal Palace one wonders whether the shine of the new season is beginning to wear off. What do you think? Email In the courts, 47-year-old Mandy Fleming was jailed for 18 months for drilling holes in her estranged husband's yacht in Brighton Marina

installations, illuminations, tours and trails, all created for the night and themed around ‘Utopia’. This year there are 70 separate programme elements on offer celebrating the creativity of the city’s artists, venues and programmers. The commissioned works includes a soundscape designed to make West St happy, a digital installation that transmits live action from all over the festival and a re-imagined Village fete. The artists and venues in the city have a diverse take on their vision of Utopia – encompassing environment, digital technology, protest and collective action, retro,

and sinking it because she was angry he was spending money on the craft. And Joseph Smith, 33, from Pulborough, started a five-year stretch for fraud on an 80-year-old man by conning the victim into £25,000 roof repairs he didn't need and investing £460,000 in businesses which never existed. If you were in charge of Brighton and Hove, what would you do about alcohol? No silly answers please – it's a serious question posed by the police, NHS, City Council and others as part of The Big Alcohol Debate that lasts until the New Year. Council video pods will be out in the city between now and the New Year for people to have their say. For more go to Age Concern Brighton Hove & Portslade is holding its annual Will Writing Awareness Week until 21 October in partnership with local lawyers and they will be offering free will-writing appointments. Call 01273 720603 and ask for Information and Advice. Staff from Brighton College and other top schools including Eton are leading lessons at a new Sixth Form college being established in east London. The college will focus on tough A-Level subjects such as Maths, Science, History and Geography in an attempt to push more disadvantaged teenagers into top universities. Flags flew at half mast at West Hove Golf Course as a tribute to

sports writer John Vinicombe who died from cancer aged 82. A great writer, fiercely independent and a man I'm glad to have known. Services for homeless people in Brighton and Hove during freezing winter weather have been held up by a key national charity as an example to the rest of the country. Homeless Link, which represents and supports more than 500 organisations working with homeless people in the UK, has adopted Brighton & Hove’s Severe Weather Emergency Protocol as an example of good practice within their official guidance to other local authorities. Finally, recycling banks for small electrical items including irons are being set up in Upper Rock Gardens, The Level, Union Road, Little East Street, Whitecross Street, Kingswood Street, Norfolk Square, Regent Street, Tisbury Road, Davigdor Road, Wickes, King Alfred. Brighton City College students Lucy Byron and Clay Charman and Councillor Pete West helped unveil the Whitecross Street bank – but there have already been complaints the banks are not visible enough. Perhaps the banks could belt out music to help direct people to them. Would ‘Any Old Iron’ be a good theme tune?

personal and spiritual development. The emphasis is on getting involved and doing something different in the middle of the night. You can learn to take photos at night, run a midnight half marathon, seed-bomb the city, learn to draw in a church, listen to eclectic independent talks in independent coffee shops and learn about the links between turtles and anarchy. There is something for everyone in a night designed to attract all ages back into our city centre and provide an alternative to the dominant Saturday night drinking culture. One of the most fantastic parts about White Night is that it is completely free to all residents and visitors. For this we thank all the partners involved who have given their time, energy and

sponsorship to making this happen. The organisers explain that the festival “celebrates the cultural DNA of Brighton and Hove”. This is an opportunity to experience the best of the city’s arts and enjoy an unforgettable night in our vibrant city by the sea. The website is up and running, and keep an eye out for details of events here in Latest 7.

What do you think of the new recycling banks?

White Night 2011

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Digital Designer Edelman (Digital UK) (Brighton and Hove)

Excellent developer –3rd Eye Vision Ltd (London / Hove)

Online Marketing & Design Manager – Forecourt Fuels Ltd (Brighton and Hove)

Editorial Assistant - Oyster Healthcare Communications (Brighton and Hove)

Graphic Designer - Harrington McDermott Ltd (Brighton and Hove)

PHP Developer - Orbtalk Limited (Brighton and Hove)

JavaScript Developer - Stanton Consultancy Limited (Brighton and Hove)

Business Development Manager - F10 Studios Ltd (Brighton and Hove)

Junior Systems Administrator / Java Developer – Editure Education (Brighton and Hove)

Mobile App Developer – To collaborate on national app bid Freelance Developer – To migrate website from Zen Cart to Magento Commercial Artist/Illustrator – Required for public art commission Brighton & Hove Photo Marathon – Volunteers required

Brighton Farm – Weds 19 Oct, 8pm – 11pm. Venue: The Hampton Enterprise Thursdays – Thurs 20 Oct, 6pm – 8.00pm.  Venue: University of Sussex iphone Developers Meetup – Thurs 20 Oct, 7pm – 9pm.  Venue: The Quadrant Likemind Brighton – Fri 21 Oct, 8.230am – 10.30am.  Venue: Marwood Café

North Street – 2 desks available Brunswick Street East – Graphic/web/motion designers wanted North Street – Post-production suite available

008_009_LS548_newsnewsdps_editorial 14/10/2011 15:12 Page 2


latest brighton & hove news

the bigissue

Howgreen are theGreens? Political rivals say power has put paid to ideals that appealed to the voters. Frank le Duc reports


s the honeymoon over? Is the Green Party able to sustain its environmentally friendly credentials when faced with the tough task of governing? Is the process of exercising power crushing the hopes and dreams of the party’s supporters? Have they promised more than they can deliver? And are they now facing a sobering reality check? These are some of the questions being asked of the politicians who formed an administration – without the comfort of a majority – after the local elections in May. Careful targeting and precision campaigning, with a few lucky breaks, saw the Greens sweep from office the previous Conservative administration, which had also run Brighton and Hove City Council without a majority. • Plans for new housing on a greenfield site The election of the Greens was greeted with good-natured fascination in • A declaration on the principle of a park and ride some quarters. Those who had become disillusioned with the mainstream • The draft strategy for the way we deal with our waste parties welcomed the newcomers as a breath of fresh air. In turn, they basked in the warmth of this appreciation much as Tony The first two topics were each the subject of Blair did in that bright new dawn in 1997 when “The Greens have been portrayed as one of the four policy options papers published Labour came to office after 18 years in as the council prepares its new “City Plan”. anti-development and anti-business. opposition. And as David Cameron did briefly They represent a departure from the position after 13 years of Labour. The novelty of Greens The party regards these as myths that previously adopted by the council. As a result in control attracted outside interest too, just as the council yesterday started a period of public it is trying to dispel” the election of Caroline Lucas as the country’s consultation about these changes. A second first Green MP had done a year before. stage of consultation will take place on the There was something of a honeymoon period. This is not to say that their broader City Plan next year. The onus is on the public to make known its opponents were uncritical nor that everyone was cheering them on. Some of views. The third topic – what we do with our rubbish – will also be the subject those in the defeated parties seemed unsurprisingly deflated in the wake of of a consultation starting in just over a week’s time and lasting for six weeks. their polling day disappointments. But by the start of the summer holidays These strategic planning documents may sound rather dry, dusty and they were picking up the pace again. And since the start of last month it arcane. But they are crucially important as they dictate what sort of buildings would be fair to say that normal business has been resumed. we can expect developers to build in various locations around our city. And The hullabaloo over travellers began almost at once. Increasingly, it has where rubbish will be stored and processed and what will happen to it. They contributed to the feeling that the honeymoon is over although the fading set out the principles. When developers ask for detailed planning permission, glow is in part down to the passage of time. And in part it is down to the drip they will be judged against the City Plan. drip effect of a series of criticisms. When it comes to travellers, the Greens’ So just how did the Greens end up coming under fire? Some of it comes rivals have used the party’s perceived tolerance as a stick with which to beat down to our adversarial style of politics. One party rules. The rest oppose. But them. It has very much been about perceptions though as the council’s that’s just part of the answer. Whichever party runs the council, it has to do so approach to this issue has yet to change in any substantial or meaningful within all sorts of constraints – government policy, strict financial rules and, way. Given an overcrowded public meeting and a well attended protest in the of course, the law. And the law places all manner of duties on councils and past month, you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. councillors, often leaving them with surprisingly little room for manoeuvre. The difference is that the Greens are now the authority figures and, despite the populist refrain in the background, are keen to tackle a real and visible problem. Their opponents have engaged in mischief-making at times – a valid tactic in opposition – and even last week feelings on the subject were running high at a meeting of councillors. The Greens accept that the travellers issue is unlikely ever to be totally solved. But, as one cabinet member said recently, that doesn’t mean that they won’t try to do the right thing and look for a suitable site for travellers.


Then came country matters. Plans to employ in-house staff to manage the council’s downland estate in place of the contracted specialist land agents provoked a stir. The extra cost was a factor in the criticisms at this time of austerity. Perhaps more significantly, the Greens were accused of sacrificing an effective rural policy for a vanity project which would ultimately undermine environmentally sound achievements. The Greens, however, believed otherwise and stuck to their guns. In the past week three policy proposals have prompted their political opponents to accuse them of – at best – expediency. They relate to:

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This recognises the housing shortage in Brighton and Hove. The government is abolishing the regional housing targets – which included affordable homes as well as those which, for many of us, seem increasingly unaffordable. But the Greens don’t get off that lightly. The government now requires the council to assess and plan to meet the full range of current and future housing requirements in terms of need and demand. And to presume in favour of sustainable development.


Toad’s Hole Valley

How many homes do we need? Under the old system we were looking at a target of 11,200 homes by 2030 which would mean building more than 500 a year. The rules governing the new system seem to indicate a need to build between 16,000 and 19,000 new homes by 2030. An assessment of available land locally suggests a capacity for about 8,000 properties. A compromise being considered – the Greens’ preferred option – would keep the target at about 11,000. To reach that figure, one solution, say the Greens, is to build 750 homes on a greenfield site called Toad’s Hole Valley in Hangleton by the A27 Brighton bypass. The preferred option does not take into account proposals to build housing at Shoreham Harbour. This is where the party comes in for flak. Councillor Gill Mitchell, leader of the Labour group on the council, told a meeting of the Green cabinet: “We would prefer to look at the target of 400 to 2,000 overall at Shoreham Harbour, which is a brownfield site, rather than rushing to offer up Toad’s Hole Valley. This will not protect other greenfield sites on the urban fringe. I really do have to point out this spectacular U-turn on behalf of your party.” She quoted Councillor Pete West – now the council’s cabinet member for the environment – from a debate on the subject two years ago when he was in opposition. He spoke about the urban fringe, which includes sites like Toad’s Hole Valley, saying: “It should not be available to meet our housing targets even as a last resort. It would be a mark of our civilisation not to develop it.” Fellow Labour member, Councillor Brian Fitch, who represents Hangleton and Knoll, said: “Before you turn this green area into a grey area, let’s look at brownfield sites.” Councillor Mitchell castigated the cabinet, saying that at the local elections, “you trumpeted your green credentials and the voters took you at your word”. Now, she said, the Greens were siding with the Tory government to concrete over the urban fringe. The Greens said that their plans would enable them to protect other similar sites.


Councillor Mitchell also slated her political opponents for removing the prospect of a park and ride scheme from the draft City Plan. She pointed out the rise in traffic that might be expected if, say, Brighton and Hove Albion won planning permission to add 8,000 seats to their new stadium at Falmer. The Greens said that extensive searches had failed to find any suitable sites, the cost would be too much and that in any event two thirds of car journeys started and ended within Brighton and Hove. They said that the business community supported them on this subject. And a report has suggested that they are contemplating putting up car parking charges as one way of discouraging drivers.


Shoreham Harbour


Take housing. The council has for some years been subject to house-building targets set at regional level, that is, by an organisation planning for the whole of the South East. Since the credit crunch three years ago Brighton and Hove has fallen short of its targets. Besides, there is only so much land in our densely populated city between the Downs and the sea. One solution is to allow taller buildings. These don’t always prove popular, especially with people living near the chosen sites. And they’re not cheap. Schemes at Brighton Marina and the King Alfred are cases in point. Even though two of the three schemes were granted planning permission, one of those was subsequently scrapped and work on the other has been deferred. The Greens have been portrayed as anti-development and anti-business. The party regards these as myths that it is trying to dispel. The council’s deputy leader, Councillor Amy Kennedy, has spelt out the position on a number of occasions, most recently just two weeks ago. She said that her party wanted to create jobs and build homes and the option papers would provide a framework for doing so. Earlier this year she told fellow councillors: “The city is open for business.” And she tried to reassure investors that the Greens were keen to see development, subject to it being the right kind of development in the right place. And, of course, provided it meets increasingly stringent environmental conditions. The Greens’ local election manifesto committed the party to begin building at least a thousand new affordable homes by the next local elections in 2015.

And when it came to the draft waste plan, the Greens were again left with little wriggle-room. They appeared to have accepted the need for incineration. Councillor Mitchell was scathing: “When the Newhaven incinerator was being proposed you said if you had 100 per cent recycling you wouldn’t need an incinerator. This is another U-turn. You’re making so many you’re making the rest of us giddy. You had a chance to take out Hangleton Bottom (as a possible rubbish handling site) but you haven’t done. You campaigned vociferously against the use of (Hollingdean) for waste. That’s another policy that’s been binned.” In defence of the Greens, one council insider said that some of the questions posed to the cabinet had been disingenuous. Locations that had been earmarked previously were mentioned but choices about locations would be made at a later date. He added that the Greens had inherited a number of policies from the Conservatives and in some cases had been pragmatic and stuck with them. He said that the waste plan was a joint plan – and involved East Sussex County Council and West Sussex County Council. And he added that Brighton and Hove could expect to have its own more localised and ambitious waste plan in the near future.


After the cabinet meeting one local resident said: “Hubris comes in all shades including green.” But a Green campaigner defended the party’s record and the way in which it was trying to encourage sustainable living while helping the local economy grow and creating local jobs. Yes, the cabinet faced tough choices. Members were having to make decisions rather than just voice criticisms. Inevitably, after even a short while in office, some of the electorate would fall out of love with the party. But there was a confidence that the party would find a way to put into practice many of the policies in the local election manifesto even if it did suffer the occasional setback and pragmatically come up with the occasional compromise. “We’re listening to what people say and, when necessary, we’re adjusting our approach accordingly. We think that’s the democratic way to proceed.”

010_LS547_news Frank talking_editorial 14/10/2011 16:20 Page 2



latest brighton & hove news

still a big draw. And the smaller festivals throughout the year – Brighton Comedy Festival, Cine City, etc – help maintain Brighton’s arty and creative reputation. They also help fuel tourism, another of the drivers of Brighton and Hove’s economy. One of the difficulties for a secondary venue like the Ropetackle is that it can’t compete with, say, the Brighton Centre or Brighton Dome for the big crowd-pullers. Even Brighton’s biggest venues miss out at times. Insight, comment and analysis And squeezed between Brighton and Worthing, the people of Shoreham have a fairly decent from the editor of Brighton set of options for a night out. Let’s face it, & Hove News, Frank le Duc London’s near enough that we can make it home from a West End show without having to stump up for a hotel room. The RSA has given some thought to the question of whether we should appreciate art for art’s sake or whether it has a greater unquantifiable worth. It said: “A growing body of research suggests that the arts can be a valuable engine of civic renewal in nurturing social capital and trust by strengthening friendships, helping communities to understand and celebrate their heritage, and in providing a safe way to discuss and solve difficult social problems.” Sport produces a similar The Ropetackle is in financial trouble but can we result, with Brighton and Hove Albion and its new afford to lose a focal point of the community? stadium reckoned to have a valuable multiplier effect – financially and socially. Wide appeal and a critical mass would appear to o we value the arts? And how do we measure how much we value the be helpful in this respect. But just because the Ropetackle operates on a arts? What is an arts centre worth? Can we measure it only in smaller scale, it can still meet the kind of criteria outlined by the RSA. financial terms or does it have intangible benefits too? Who So if it’s worth saving, who should pay? Adur Council has contributed benefits? And haven’t we been here before? It may have opened as before and, like every local recently as 2007 but this is not the authority at the moment, it is first time that the Ropetackle’s trustees feeling the pinch. As is the Arts have had to shout out for funds. Council. Patronage and The Ropetackle has much to have been the commend it. About a hundred “The Ropetackle has much to commend it. sponsorship mainstay of some of our more volunteers and just a couple of paid successful venues such as staff keep the show on the road. And for About a hundred volunteers and just a Glyndebourne. Popular appeal some people in Shoreham it is one of never hurts financially even if it the focal points of the community. couple of paid staff keep the show on the offends some purists. There will be many people who would mourn the loss of the Ropetackle, road. And for some people in Shoreham it is What is the answer? Well, the Ropetackle’s latest initiative has especially as the Adur Festival marks one of the focal points of the community” been well reviewed. It has asked its 25th anniversary next year. for 200 people to donate £100 But in these austere times, do we each to raise the £20,000 that it have too many arts centres and similar needs to survive. And while it has venues? After all, it’s less than five some critics, there is an years since the Gardner Arts Centre extensive goodwill which I suspect will lead many people who cannot closed its doors at Sussex University’s campus in Falmer. And some of the afford £100 to make a more modest donation. It is not yet time for the temporary venues to have graced Brighton Festival Fringe over the past final curtain. n few years have fallen by the wayside. Yet the Festival and the Fringe are


The art of survival D

LATEST INBOX Coffee morning for The Martlet’s Mayberry Garden Centre on the Old Shoreham Road, Portslade has teamed up with The Martlet’s Hospice in Hove for a coffee morning on Friday 21st October, hoping to raise awareness and much needed funds for the great work carried out for the residents. We will be donating profits from all hot drinks sales between 9am and 1pm to The Martlet’s. We are hoping to raise a lot of money on the day so please make sure you come along and support us. Darren Clift , via email

Come Dine With Me comes to Brighton We are making a brand new, primetime series of the hit TV show – Come Dine With Me for Channel 4 and we are looking for people from Brighton to take part. The hugely successful, prime-time series Come Dine With Me follows four strangers, all budding chefs, as they take it in turns to try and prepare the best meal, be the best host and hold the best all-round dinner party for each other. The winner at the end of the competition wins £1,000 cash. We will soon be filming a show in Brighton so we’re looking for people over 18 years of age in and around the ‘city by the sea’ with a passion for cooking and who want to

> Have your say To comment on any of our news and features or to let us know what’s on your mind email You can also write to Letters, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH

demonstrate their skills. This is your chance to create the perfect dining experience! You also get to enjoy three nights dining out and a chance to win the prize. If you or anyone you know would

like to take part then please call 0871 200 3939 Tom Kent, Casting Researcher, via email Cute pets needed La Senza are on a nationwide hunt to find the cutest and most beloved British pets. If you think your pet fits the bill, upload a photo to us by 23 October. The winning entries will be featured on a cute and quirky pyjama set as part of our bestselling ‘Animal Pyjama’ collection (available to buy in store next year!). The comp is open to all pets – simply submit your pet’s picture onto the La Senza Pets on Pyjamas website La Senza team, via email

011_LS548_news profile nib_editorial 14/10/2011 16:14 Page 1


latest brighton & hove news


Lifting the fallen John Holmström was preparing to take holy orders when he ended up in Brighton and he’s been here ever since. Frank le Duc finds out why


ewer people are homeless in Brighton and Hove than would have been the case were it not for a series of twists of fate almost 30 years ago. John Holmström had just graduated with a degree in Theology from St John’s College, Oxford. He was in the process of applying for ordination college when the Church encouraged him to gain some experience of life. Around the same time his sister went travelling and Mr Holmström came to Brighton to look after her house. He took a job at St Dunstan’s where he met his friend and future boss Andy Winter, the chief executive of BHT. Perhaps it was Mr Holmström’s fate that was ordained instead. In 1984 he became a trainee housing adviser at Brighton Housing Trust, as BHT was known then. Mr Winter would later join the BHT board before taking over the top job.


costs for both organisations. In his spare time he practises the martial art of ki aikido and is a black belt 3rd dan. He also stays in touch with his roots by reading Swedish literature.


Thousands of people turn to BHT for help and advice each year. So it’s no surprise to learn that Mr Holmström has given a great deal of thought to how to improve their chances of finding a suitable place to live. And he has come up with an idea called transition housing. The social housing sector has standards setting out the minimum size and quality of houses and flats. Mr Holmström is mindful of the waiting lists, overcrowded homes, sofa surfers, the people who need somewhere to stay after a relationship breaks down. Transition housing is about offering a higher MAN ON A MISSION density solution – not unlike student halls of residence, with private bedrooms and bathrooms. Mr Holmström, 51, spent three years helping people Other things, like washing machines or study who had lost their home or who faced losing their space, can be shared. The communal set up would home before taking off to work as a musician for a be more environmentally friendly. And couple of years. But he returned to the aim would be to ensure transition his calling in 1988 and has been housing was genuinely temporary as on something of a mission with “Transition tenants get their lives back BHT ever since. He was promoted to his current role – assistant housing offers a on track. Mr Holmström said that changes to chief executive – eight years ago. higher density benefits would push more people, The father of four leads BHT’s particularly those under 35, into housing advisers and works solution – like shared housing from the new year. closely with private sector Transition housing could offer a way landlords as he steers the housing student halls” forward. The idea is still developing services provided by BHT. He also and seems likely to appeal to looks after the charity’s legal someone like Bill Randall, the leader of Brighton and services. This year he has been busy campaigning Hove City Council. Although Councillor Randall, a against changes to legal aid which, he says, will hurt journalist who specialises in housing, is keen to some of the poorest and most vulnerable in Brighton maintain and spread good standards, he is also keen and Hove. A cap on the number of cases is likely to to tackle the city’s acute housing shortage. Mr affect about 600 people in need of help and advice Holmström said: “There are issues that we need to at a desperate point in their lives. MPs are about to work through.” But he has great expectations and an send the draft law to the House of Lords so the impressive faith in a concept that could ensure BHT campaigning continues. lifts even more of those in Brighton and Hove who He has also built up the IT team at BHT to the have fallen on hard times. n point where it forms part of the charity’s trading arm. Sussex Central YMCA uses the service, reducing

IN BRIEF n HOSPITAL STAFF TO BE TOLD HOW TO CARE ABOUT THE OVERSPEND Four weeks after hospital chief executive Duncan Selbie wrote to his staff saying that savings had to be made, the overspending still hasn’t been curbed. Mr Selbie, who runs the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton, has warned medical and support staff that he will spell out emergency measures this week. He said that the pay bill had to be cut by £1 million a month and added: “Unsurprisingly, given the time it takes for action to have effect, September was not much better than the first five months of the year. Over the coming six months we need the savings to come through and progress so far is patchy.” He also explained: “All of this is about ensuring our long-term income and growth by taking short term action that neither harms this nor compromises the quality and safety of care we provide today. I promised tough times ahead, that this was nonetheless doable and that we had much to look forward to, and all of this remains true.” Separately, he said that the government watchdog had not visited the Royal Sussex when looking into the standard of nursing care across the country. He said that some of the ideas adopted at the hospital were now being treated as good practice and being adopted elsewhere.

n HUNDREDS OF ENTERPRISING MUMS GATHER UP ADVICE AND AWARDS More than 200 mums with businesses attended a conference and awards ceremony in Brighton. They heard ITV Breakfast show presenter Kate Garraway, 44, share her experiences of her first year in business. And they picked up tips and skills from a host of experts. Laura Tenison, the founder of JoJo Maman Bébé, explained how she built a business with a £30 million turnover. She credited a policy of slow organic growth, strong ethical policies and declining to rely on debt. Coach Karen Skidmore helped every woman who attended, however new to networking, to set and meet their goals for the day and to leave with a plan to improve their business. The conference, the Business Mums Summit, was held at the Thistle Hotel in Brighton last week and combined with the “mumandworking”awards.

n EMULSIONAL MOMENT AS RECYCLING CHIEF HAS BRUSH WITH SUCCESS The latest recycling scheme brought in across Brighton and Hove has led to a thousand litres of paint being reused – enough to paint the Royal Pavilion. Leftover paint can be left at the recycling centre off Old Shoreham Road in Hove. It is then given free to charities, community groups and people on low incomes. The organisers said that they were delighted by the popularity of the scheme which is run in partnership by Brighton and Hove City Council, Sussex Central YMCA and Veolia Environmental Services. Councillor Pete West, the council’s cabinet member for sustainability, said: “People are handing in leftover and partly used tins of paint that would otherwise be thrown out. It’s a really practical, straightforward way of cutting waste and benefiting the local community at the same time. “The paint is being put to good use for a range of different projects – from people painting their homes to the local Emmaus charity, which is using it to repaint old furniture to raise funds and support its work with the homeless.”

012_013_LS548_AlbionDPS_editorial 14/10/2011 13:11 Page 2



latest SEAGULLS Up the Albion!

drink lots of water and eat carbohydrate based meals on days I am training and playing; however the occasional unhealthy meal is always welcome on days I am not active.


Mark Brailsford on financial fair play

Rebecca Thompson, Brighton & Hove Albion women’s club (right back)


here is a new system being proposed by the Football League that will have far reaching consequences for all clubs in the Championship and could have a profound effect on the prospects of Brighton and Hove Albion. The Albion are rather fortunate in having Tony Bloom as chairman. His ability to fund the stadium means the club technically carry no debt and this is a definite advantage. Added to the fact that the club are not profligate spenders in the transfer market, this means the Seagulls should easily meet the fair play criteria.

How long have you been with the club? Four seasons – I joined after graduating from the BHAFC Girls’ Centre of Excellence where I spent four years.

The new rules of the game

What’s been the highlight of your career so far? Beating Portsmouth Ladies FC 5–1 season 10/11 and beating them again 1–0 season 11/12

The new fair play rules are intended to be a levelling of the financial playing field to prevent “The Albion are Championship clubs doing what the likes of West Ham and Leicester fortunate in having have done this season, namely, (allegedly) buying their way to Tony Bloom as promotion by spending beyond their chairman” financial means. The new rules (currently being drawn up by UEFA) are not being proposed for second tier clubs across Europe but The Football League has harnessed the enthusiasm of the clubs themselves and instigated a voluntary version of the plan at the behest of club chairmen, so our Mr Bloom must be quite content with the idea as it means he doesn't have to be an Abramovic or a wealthy oil Sheik to realise the club’s ambition. Some doubters have raised the spectre of what happened the last time the Albion were in the top flight, relegation struggles and poor football. However, once the club have met the Championship fair play criteria, and if they get to the Premier League in the next five years, then they will be much better placed to challenge for mid-table stability because the rest of the top division will have to play by the fair play rules. It is quite literally a more level playing field and that can only be good for football and the Albion.

Which team is going to be your biggest competition this season? Any of the teams in our league have the potential of being big competition. At the end of the day, we know we have the depth and ability to win all of our games; it all comes down to how we perform as a team on the day. What is your training regime out of season/in season? We currently train twice a week as a team. I also play for my university, giving me an additional two training sessions and a game each week, enabling me to stay fit outside of my Brighton regime.

What this means

Do you follow a strict diet? I always aim to

The principal objectives for financial fair play as outlined by UEFA: • To introduce more discipline and rationality in club football finances • To decrease pressure on salaries and transfer fees • To encourage clubs to compete with(in) their revenues • To encourage long-term investments in the youth sector • To protect the long-term viability of European club football • To ensure clubs settle their liabilities on a timely basis

What other sports do you enjoy aside from football? I would never shy away from the opportunity of playing other sports, however football has kind of taken over my life! What’s your favourite thing to do when you're off the pitch? As much as I love socialising with friends, if I’m totally honest, eating is probably my favourite past time [laughs]. Where do you love to shop in Brighton and Hove? I kind of have a thing for footwear, so you’re most likely to find me in Office, Vans shop and Offspring. Although being a student, I do quite like a window shop in River Island and Topshop. Do you have a favourite Brighton restaurant? I love Italian food, so it has to be places like Donatello, Jamie Oliver’s Italian and Fat Leo’s – the food is amazingly delicious! Do you follow the men’s team? I’ve never really followed the men’s team, but since moving to The Amex I have made an active effort to follow their results and catch highlights on MOTD, but I’m yet to see a live game. Coming up for Brighton & Hove Albion Women’s Football Club: Queens Park Rangers (H), Sunday 16 October.

Photo: Paul Hazlewood

blast from the past Stewart Weir on memorable moments from the Albion’s past. This week: West Ham & Millwall


illwall away tonight and West Ham next Monday: two of the most partisan football fans to be found anywhere on the planet. Millwall were first known as Millwall Rovers when they were formed in 1885 by workers at Morton's Jam Factory on the Isle of Dogs. Their first ever match at their old ground (The Den) was against the Albion on Saturday 22 October 1910. Costing a mere £10,000 to build the Albion ruined their day with a one-nil win. The match programme cost another mere 1p. Cold Blow Lane wasn’t ever a nice place to walk down with echoes of Millwall singing: “No one likes us, we don't care”. In 1993 Millwall moved to the New Den at a cost of £16 million. To date the Albion and Millwall have had 32 wins each and 16 draws. Thames Ironworks FC were formed in 1895 and became West Ham

012_013_LS548_AlbionDPS_editorial 14/10/2011 13:14 Page 3

L7SEAGULLS 13 Photo: Paul Hazlewood

HOME GAME Gary Dicker, central midfielder, Brighton & Hove Albion Who is your sporting hero? Roy Keane. He was just massive, he was at the top team at the time – he’s every Irish lad’s hero. What’s been your career highlight? Winning the league last year. And your worst career moment? The Crystal Palace loss. What other sports do you play or are you interested in? I'm interested in most sports on telly; I watch tennis and golf and I play a bit of golf. What's the best advice you've ever been given? Just listen really, always take in what people say and try and learn from it. If you could live anywhere in Sussex where would it be? Where I'm living now in Steyning; it’s only five/ten minutes away from the ground and there are some really nice houses out there. If your house was burning down, what one possession would you save? That’s got to be the mobile phone, there’s no way I could live without that. Where do you shop in Brighton & Hove? All Saints Bazaar and all the unusual shops around Brighton. What are the most listened to songs on your iPod? My Irish music. I get a lot of stick for that.

Do you have a favourite Brighton restaurant? There’s one in Brighton I like called Côte, it’s a French restaurant. How strict is your diet? I have quite a good diet, but that depends on my girlfriend. She cooks quite healthy food; she does a lot of veg so she’s quite good with that. It’s all down to her really. How do you relax when not at the club? Just chilling at home really and playing a bit of FIFA! A lot of the lads play so we have matches online, but I can’t really relax when I'm losing. What is your favourite holiday destination? Las Vegas, I've been there many times, Nav [Alan Navarro] got married there last year so we all went out there. In the film of your life, who would you like to play you? Who’s that one with the bad accent from P.S I Love You?... Gerard Butler, just because of his fake Irish accent. Tell us a secret... I’m a Liverpool fan. Coming up: BHAFC vs Millwall (A), Tue 18 Oct; BHAFC vs West Ham (H), Mon 24 Oct, (live on Sky Sports)

United in 1900. The club has seen quite a few glory years having won the FA Cup three times and the European Cup Winners Cup once. West Ham’s past list of players and managers is like reading a ‘who’s

“West Ham’s biggest rivals are Millwall” who’ of English football culture. The Albion haven’t played West Ham much with just five draws; West Ham winning eight matches to the Albion’s five. Ironically West Ham have an equally fearsome reputation and their biggest rivals both on and off the pitch are Millwall. There’s a possibility of hearing the irritating: “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles, Pretty Bubbles in the Air” song next Monday so earmuffs may be necessary.

014_LS548_barecheek-madmatt_Editorial 14/10/2011 15:46 Page 2


Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

MORE FESTIVALS ANNOUNCED After concerns that Brighton did not have quite enough festivals, the following have been announced... BRIGHTON BALLOON FESTIVAL (OCTOBER 17th, 1PM, JUBILEE SQUARE) Stalls selling party balloons, helium balloons, and water balloons, as well as ballon animal making lessons, hot air ballon rides, and a demonstration of angioplasty.

Who will win the wooden spoon for best spoon display? Find out at the world's premier spoon festival. BRIGHTON KOWLOON FESTIVAL (OCTOBER 20th–21st, 12PM, BRIGHTON CENTRE) Travel to the mysterious east with this fun-packed look at the customs, culture, and cuisine of the Kowloon Peninsula. Treat yourself to a Dai Pai Dong while playing Mahjong! Be there or be Mandarin square! BRIGHTON LEGUME FESTIVAL (OCTOBER 22nd–25th, 1PM, JUBILEE SQUARE) A celebration of the humble

BRIGHTON BLUE LAGOON FESTIVAL (OCTOBER 22nd, 11AM, RACECOURSE) The first ever UK festival to be entirely devoted to both the 1949 desert island film, and the 1980 Brooke Shields remake. Special appearance by Christopher Atkins.




The first cut of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 thriller Psycho contained a sub plot in which, after stealing $40,000 from her employer, Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) takes a jumbo jet to Hove, where she sets up a tea room in Selborne Road and has an abortive romantic entanglement with local councillor Joe Martin (Tommy Steele) before selling up and returning to the U.S. This footage was removed after the film tested badly in both Ohio and Alabama.


Edward Lear laboured for over 40 years to complete a limerick beginning “There was an old person from Hove...” but was unable to. It is one of only three unfinished Lear limericks, the other two being “There was an old woman from Cockermouth” and “There was an old man on a hunt.”


“Hove Tuesday” was a feast day that was the predecessor of Shrove Tuesday, and involved the preparation and eating of “pant-

Until 1951 the principal language of Hove was an old Sussex dialect called Wealdish, which had no words for “yes”, “no”, “please”, “thank you”, “hello” or “goodbye”.


In • Shaking it all about • Now ski-ing • Burying all your clothes • Making a “V” sign like you just don't care • Chug-a-chugging a motion like a railway train now


• Spreading your lovin' arms way out in space • Going down on your feet, up on your toes • Letting your backbone slip • Putting on your noseguard • Spraying


BRIGHTON SPOON FESTIVAL (OCTOBER 18th, 12PM, JUBILEE SQUARE) Spoons spoons spoons spoons spoons. And spoons. Teaspoons, soup spoons, and runcible spoons.

cakes”, comestibles made from eggs, flour, fat, milk, and old underwear.


Bare cheek

fabaceae pod, featuring more alfalfa, lentils, soy, lupin, and carob than anyone would wish to eat.

Mad Matt Matt Whistler enters a virtual world


riday night was an education: the droopy detective and psychotic rabbit Sam and Max were filling the flat screen TV at Brighton’s Convict Films HQ. It’s an animated computer game that freakishly goes beyond freakin’ randoms sake. Its a bit like Sudoku for the hard working brain dead. In other words it’s a replacement to going to a pub after a day’s work but also an edgy game that keeps the bonce ticking over. The game Sam And Max started out with the room ‘The Blister of Tranquility’, then somewhere in between myself arriving at Convict HQ and leaving, Cybil was trying to find a career path, Hugh Bliss took over the moon and shoots a ray of blissness to hypnotise everyone.

And Max made it to be the President of The United States, while giant space gorillas appeared with invisible brains. This tea and biscuits experience was far removed from wanting to gabber about making a new comedy viral. I felt like Uncle Retro sat in the corner staying stum because I couldn't keep up with the story. The last time I played a computer game was Pac Man and Space Invaders. In the same week a friend of mine, who is a Second Life obsessive, gathered his Second Life friends internationally to streak an International Second Life football game. I once had a go at Wii, well I say had a go, I had misread the sign and walked into a Women’s Institute tent at a festival. What ever happened to

those computer game tables with huge glass screens? Brighton needs an old school computer games café, Tetrus and a coffee followed by cake and Frogger Kick On! Oh ,did you hear the rumour Brighton was invaded by one of my escaped robots on the weekend? It

jumped out of my lap top and ate my Sugar Puffs then grew beyond proportion. I tried to chase it as a passenger in a Hymer with space age qualities, but the engine seized. Read Matt’s full blog at mattwhistlerbrighton

015_LS548_cityspeak_Editorial 13/10/2011 10:04 Page 1


Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw gets cooking for her book club


was so pleased to hear the book in food, and always keen on club I use to attend has been exchanging recipes for new resurrected. It was started up dishes – preparing and cooking several years ago, when Richard them – but mainly scoffing them. and Judy were at their literary peak They are never happier than when I guess, by a small group of local there is a celebration of some sort physiotherapists, covering at work: a promotion, retirement or Shoreham, Lewes and Rottingdean. anniversary, to which they are I think the group collapsed due to asked to bring something for a members taking time off to have festive meal. babies, fall ill, or, as in my case, So our old book club had, it has retire. (There’s so little time for to be said, turned into more of a things when you become a lady competition as to who could who lunches.) produce the best meal while So when murmurings began discussion of the book had slowly about starting it up again I was so become the least important part of grateful that I was the evening. still included as an This time honorary member. around, it was “Our book club This is wonderful decided, there because it means I are just going had turned into will be able to meet to be nibbles a competition” up with those and drinks physios with whom while the book I’ve lost contact and will be the catch up on all the gossip. main focus of the meeting. I am The protocol used to be that each not convinced that this is going to person took it in turn to host a be maintained, but we shall see. meeting and provide the meal, At least this first meeting enabled while members would bring the me to catch up with a lot of the drinks. Last month, at our inaugural news, learning exactly who had meeting arranged to set the aims got married, left or retired. I was and objects of our club, we had no amazed to find that our hostess book to discuss and we were now had three little boys instead therefore free to natter, chew over of one tiny baby. the fat and, more importantly, to So I will now read and give all eat. I have noticed over the years, my attention to Hotel World by Ali with much interest and Smith. Maybe I will just make a amusement, that physiotherapists small quiche though, just in case are always hungry and interested someone might be extra peckish.

William Tells Will Harris recalls his first day in Brighton

Teen Spirit Tasha Dhanraj plans to extend her social circle


ll my college and school They all seem to be having a friends have gone away to wonderful time and I’m really university. No longer can I happy for them. Heck, I know I walk through any supermarket in wouldn’t be going to the same the Mid Sussex area on a Saturday university as any of them, and afternoon and see one of my even if I was then we would contemporaries sitting at the till. probably be in different halls, They’ve all left. They’ve gone to find different classes and within weeks new supermarkets to work at in end up hanging out with different their spare time in places like people. And it’s not like I even Manchester, Southampton and hung out with them much while we Lancashire. Meanwhile, I’m still were in the same college. During shopping at these supermarkets. my last year of Sixth Form I barely Ambling around to buy sweet ever saw any of my fellow 18 year potatoes and blackcurrant olds outside of education. I was flavoured cider is too busy being far less exciting horribly ill, when you know seeing my “Even the comforting you’re not going boyfriend or to see your best cave of Facebook is working. friend from Year I am pining a cold reminder that after friends 9 in a uniform appearing from who I was one of the aisles I’ve been left behind” never really to say hello. that close to. I Even the comforting cave of seem to be getting nostalgic about Facebook is now just a cold times that never happened. I think reminder that I have been left what is most difficult for me to deal behind. Any profile pictures that with about my contemporaries once featured me have been settling into university and making deleted and replaced with pictures new friends is that at my very core of their new bezzies that they met I am terrified that it won’t happen at the Fresher’s party. Every time I that way for me. I’m going off to uni log on I am confronted with some next year. I am making sure I push news item of ‘Lucy has added Kings myself into making friends outside College London to her education’ or the comedy world that I have ‘Alex is attending York Fresher’s Ball immersed myself in at the expense 2011.’ My last Facebook status of getting close to college friends. update was ‘Tasha Dhanraj steamed Knowing what I did wrong is the some salmon.’ only way I can change the future.

all ’60s red-brick and grassy verges, was quietly awaiting our arrival. People-carriers and Volvo estates studded the campus car parks, boot doors thrown open to spew forth a thousand tributaries of rolled duvets and Athena photo frames, that flowed and converged up the hill to the halls of residence. The air over the Downs that day, if it had a smell, would have smelt of grass and possibility. “Now you’re sure you’ll be OK?” I remember my dad asking that from the doorway of my new room, a narrow, bunker-like space not improved by the fact its only window looked out on a near-vertical wall of soil. Strangers were hustling down the corridor outside, cardboard boxes scuffing the walls, voices a low murmur, and I wasn’t sure at all. Illustration: Graham Clark


oday is Sunday 2 October. This would be utterly unremarkable in every sense of the word, except for the fact that today also marks exactly ten years since I first came to Brighton for university. What can I remember about that day? I remember standing in my bedroom in Coventry (still an uneven terracotta from an ill-advised Changing Rooms fixation the summer before), and my mother having to run out of the room when she saw all my worldly possessions heaped in the middle of the carpet. My Destiny’s Child posters were rolled, my extensive collection of combat trousers had been packed away. I was ready. Then there was the anxious car journey with my dad, stopping off for breakfast en route and attempting a new Guinness World Record for ‘most dawdling consumption of a slice of fried bread in human history’. If I saw it up into very tiny bites, I thought, and eat each bite very slowly, then the probability of some devastating event befalling Oxford Services – earthquake, oil tanker overturning, etc – will increase, and then dad will have no choice but to turn the car around and drive me back home. In your face, university! Two hours later, we were nearing the end of the A23, passing signs for alien places with names like ‘Patcham’ and ‘Hollingbury’. Sussex University,


“Could I realistically spend the next three years hiding out inside my wardrobe?”

I had no way of knowing, of course, as my dad shut the door behind him and I was left alone, that that tiny room was my first flag in the board. That I was on a path that would change the way I saw the world – more than that, would change who I was – forever. As far as I was concerned, on 2 October ten years ago, my main preoccupation was whether I should venture to meet my new flatmates, or whether I could realistically spend the next three years hiding out inside my wardrobe. I took a deep breath and opened the door. follow me on twitter


016_LS548_snapshots-comps _Editorial 14/10/2011 11:53 Page 2


Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: business coach and author Nicola McHale

I came to Brighton 20 years ago and loved it so much I have been living here ever since. It has proved a great base for my business motivational work nationally and internationally, and now I would like to concentrate more on Brighton’s own thriving and diverse business community. My current project is to distill the secrets of business success I have learned into my new book, Transforming Teams.

Results focused business coach and Hove resident Nicola McHale started her business VI International in 1988. Over the years she has worked with the largest multi-nationals at a top level of leadership mentoring. Next month sees the launch of her book at Holborn Bars, London (3 Nov). Reader offer: three businesses can get two places to attend the launch and receive a signed copy the book. To apply call RSVPR on 07976 973 951.



Here at Competitions we love a fantastic DVD giveaway and this one is no exception. One lucky winner will receive six superb DVDs, all of which are a must-see. Charming French film Amelie stars Audrey Tatou as the girl with a sheltered upbringing discovering her vocation in life – helping others find love and happiness. Magical drama Lost In Translation has Scarlett Johansson and Bill Murray crossing paths at a bar in Tokyo. Academy Award winning film Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind takes us through a heartbreaking relationship featuring Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet. Hypnotic tale Requiem For A Dream follows four individuals pursuing their vision of happiness, directed by Darren Aronofsky

(Black Swan). Control tells the story of the late Joy Division singer Ian Curtis, from the band’s high success to his tragic suicide. All of these DVDs could be yours! Q. Which actress plays the part of Amelie?


We have five copies of romantic drama Late Night to give away to five lucky winners. A young married couple in New York find themselves encountering their own temptations. Joanna (Keira Knightley) faces the other great love of her life, while Michael (Sam Worthington) finds himself alone on a business trip with an attractive young colleague. They both have to make unexpected choices as they are confronted. Q. In which film series did Keira Knightley star alongside Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp?


And now one for the ladies! We’re delighted to be offering three copies of Cliff Richard's new album Soulicious to three lucky winners. The album includes mostly new and some classic soul songs, much of it produced by legendary Motown songwriter Lamont Dozier. This album is guaranteed to make any Cliff fan go weak at the knees. To get your hands on it, just answer this question... Q. What was the name of Cliff’s original backing band?

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to give your name, address and telephone number. Closing date for entries: Monday 31 October 2011.

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17 ITV Pictures

Celebcity with Jo Brooks X Factor Frankie’s love links, axed Terry’s new single, Jordan’s identity stolen, and Chris Addison

FRANKIE’S ADMIRERS S o our Frankie continues to hang onto his X Factor place as well as his many female admirers. Rumours were rife that he had a soft spot for fellow contestant Amelia, who got the boot last week after Kelly Rowland had to get rid of one of her final four. Other reports have linked him to Geordie Shore’s busty babe Holly Hagan, famed for her ability to down shots from her cleavage, among other winning attributes. But apparently Frankie has no time for the girls at the moment, preferring to concentrate on more musical pursuits. We’re sure he’ll more than make up for it once the show’s finished though – he might even give One Direction’s Lothario Harry a run for his money!

ITV Pictures

ADDISON’S NEW SHOW Certain members of the JBPR office like a bit of geek chic so we were excited to hear that Chris Addison, the thinking lady’s comedy crumpet, has announced Brighton dates next spring. The funnyman, of the BBC’s The Thick of It and the spin-off film In The Loop, brings his brand new show to the Theatre Royal next February. The Time Is Now, Again is set to be hilarious, bringing more of Addison’s lecture style comedy stand-up to the intimate venue.

JORDAN VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD Katie Price was out shopping in Brighton last weekend when she discovered she had been the victim of identity fraud. Reportedly an impostor had managed to disguise herself as our Brighton blonde, wearing a blonde wig and dark sunglasses, to withdraw money from Jordan’s account.

Have you spotted a celeb in the city?

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to

follow me on twitter


10% service will be added. Valid Sunday through to Thursday until 7th December 2011 excluding bank holidays.  Only one voucher per table.  Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.

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L7 INTERVIEW The internet is really bad here, which doesn’t help. I talked to my grandma on iChat once. She’s really tech savvy – my grandma has got it going on!”

I think you need to be prepared to push yourself out of your comfort zone and explore all your options if you’re going to achieve your dreams. I think that’s something that I share with Grace.”

Who are you closest to on set? “It’s impossible to pick just one person! The girls are amazing. Leighton and Katie are so sweet and affectionate. You know that they’ll always be there for you. Katie is really honest. She’s a big fan of tough love and she has lots of strong opinions that she’s happy to express. Leighton is a bit more romantic and dreamy. She’ll be the one saying ‘follow your heart’ when you need advice.”

“In a way I’m playing three characters. Because Grace is doing a bad impression of Cordelia, it’s me doing a bad British accent”

MISTAKEN IDENTITY Selena Gomez has grown up from her days as a child Disney Channel star. The 19-year old actress and singer – and girlfriend of Justin Bieber – talks about her new film Monte Carlo and perfecting the British accent


onte Carlo is a romantic comedy following three American girls (Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester and Katie Cassidy) who take a trip to Paris and get caught up in a case of mistaken identity. Based on the Jules Bass novel Headhunters, Gomez plays Grace, a young woman who uses her savings to go on the Parisian holiday of a lifetime, bringing along her best friend and her uptight big sister. When Grace is mistaken for Cordelia, a British heiress, the trio find themselves swept into a storybook world of romance, paparazzi and couture as their vacation takes them to Monte Carlo. Gomez is also a successful recording artist, reaching No. 4 in the Billboard album charts with her recent album A Year Without Rain. The young actress talks to Latest 7 about filming Monte Carlo, her co-stars Meester, Cassidy and Cory Monteith, pretending to be British, and singing on set... How did you prepare for the role of Grace? “To be honest I didn’t have to do much preparation – it was harder getting ready for Cordelia, because I had a vocal coach and I had to learn how to do a British accent! Grace is a romantic and an adventurer. Going to Paris is her biggest dream, and she’s heartbroken when it doesn’t turn out

the way she expects it to. Grace knows what she wants and she’s determined to make it happen.” Do you have anything in common with your character? “Like Grace, I grew up in a small town, and I was determined to branch out and do something that I love. Being at home is wonderful, but

What was the most challenging part of making the film? “This is by far the hardest job I’ve ever taken on. Because I graduated this year, this is the first project I’ve been able to work on as an adult. That means working 17 hour days, which can be quite intense! It’s also been one of the most fun projects I’ve ever worked on. Monte Carlo is a beautiful place to work, and I’ve got some amazing people around me – Cory’s so much fun, and Leighton is like a big sister! They bring out sides of me that I didn’t even know existed. They make me feel relaxed and carefree.” How long did it take you to perfect your British accent? “I trained for about a month, and then I had two and a half weeks of dialect coaching for the accent. Apparently there are over 20 different kinds of British accents – I had no idea! As well as playing Cordelia, I’m also in scenes as Grace pretending to be Cordelia, so in a way I’m playing three characters. We wanted to find the difference between Grace being Cordelia and the real Cordelia. My voice has a really low range, so Thomas [the director] and I tried to embrace that sound.” How did it turn out? “The real Cordelia’s voice is very proper. We made the accent extremely low and rich and thick, because she’s basically evil! When I’m playing Grace pretending to be Cordelia, my voice is much higher. Because Grace is doing a bad impression of Cordelia, it’s me doing a bad British accent!” Is it tough to be away from your family and friends during filming? “Well, I’ve got my mom with me, and my friend Ashely is here – she flew over from Texas. I’ve even got my cousin upstairs! But I miss my friends a lot.

Who makes you laugh the most? “Cory. He’s like a one man anecdote. He’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. Cory is really into taking lots of photos and videos and making memories – and he likes to freak us all out. In one scene, we three girls were coming down a staircase and I noticed Cory hiding in some bushes so he could jump out at us! He’s like a ball of sunshine, and even when we’re having a bad day and don’t want to laugh or smile, he somehow brings it out of us.” You, Corey and Leighton are all singers. Did you sing much on set? “We all goof around and sing when we’re on set. Sometimes we rap! Cory teases us and tells us to stop singing, but he loves it really. One day it would be great to record a song with Leighton” Has working on Monte Carlo inspired any of your songwriting? “We shot a lot of the movie in Budapest, and I recorded half of my album while I was there. I wrote a song called ‘Ready, Steady Go’, which is about how it feels to move to a different country and all the anxieties I had about going. I was terrified, but I was surrounded by people who helped and supported me. The whole theme is about following your heart and finding yourself.” Monte Carlo is in cinemas Friday 21 October. Read our film preview, p37

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WHITE CHRISTMAS Tickets are now on sale for the Snowman Spectacular Fundraising Ball in aid of Chestnut Tree House Children’s Hospice


simply get a few friends hestnut Tree House, in association with friend together and celebrate and patron, Raymond Briggs, proudly presents Christmas in style. Last the fourth annual Snowman Spectacular year, the Snowman Fundraising Ball, on Saturday 3 December 2011 at Spectacular Ball raised a the Brighton Hilton Metropole Hotel. fantastic £64,000, the The Snowman Spectacular is the place to be equivalent of paying for seen this December and provides all the glitz and all of the care services at glamour you need to get your Christmas Chestnut Tree House for 10 days, or giving celebrations under way, while raising money for 32 children a three-night break at the the only children’s hospice in Sussex. house, allowing them to enjoy the Join the amazing magician, Paul Zenon, for an hydrotherapy pool, relax in the multievening of sparkling entertainment, with sensory room and join in with a host of appearances by Mooky the Clown from Cirque du activities, while mum and dad got the chance Soleil and a daring fire performance from Royal to recharge their batteries. Variety performer, Alex Poulter.  Plus, there’s live Chestnut Tree House is music from Funkification, the only children’s hospice celebrity guests, including in Sussex and provides Chestnut Tree House patron practical and emotional Julie Graham, the Donatello “The ball is a fabulous support, expert advice and Christmas Giving Tree for all dedicated care for local your festive presents, silent way to entertain clients, families with children auction and, of course, the reward your staff or affected by cancer, spectacular ‘Money Can’t Buy’ auction with some simply get a few friends muscular dystrophy and other life-limiting or lifeamazing lots up for grabs. together and celebrate threatening illnesses. It is a fabulous way to Every year, the hospice entertain clients, reward Christmas in style” helps hundreds of families your staff, treat yourself or

to cope with awful sadness and suffering, giving them the support they need to face this most difficult of experiences with courage and confidence. All this care is provided absolutely free of charge. The hospice – and all its services – costs £2.5 million per year to run. Yet it receives less than nine per cent government funding, which means that it has to rely heavily on the generosity of the people of Sussex. So, why not enjoy a night of spectacular entertainment and fundraising in a Christmas winter wonderland, inspired by Raymond Briggs’ enchanting drawings and The Snowman story? The Snowman Spectacular Fundraising Ball, Saturday 3 December, 6.45pm, £95 each, £850 for table of ten. Call the events team on 01903 871817 or visit to book tickets and help your local children’s hospice.

Box Office 01293 553636

coming soon...

Dreamboats and Petticoats

The Jungle Book

Ed Byrne


The Night Before Christmas

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HA-HA-HAPPY CHRISTMAS From traditional pantomimes, Christmas shows and concerts, to sensational West End and Broadway hits and classical ballet, Andrew Kay finds that audiences have the widest choice of seasonal entertainment


anto fans don’t come much bigger than me, in both size and passion. I am seldom happier than when I am watching a good old fashioned pantomime. I love the cross dressing, the audience songs, the “It’s behind you” and “Oh, no it isn’t” silliness of the whole thing. I don’t even object to the odd soap star treading the festive boards to draw in an audience. I am also a fan of a good Christmas show – a seasonal entertainment that dispenses with the silliness of panto but still has fun and pure entertainment at its heart. Not everyone loves panto as I do and for them theatres offer up a fine selection of creative festive entertainment: classical ballet at one end of the spectrum, and the rip-roaring silliness of Monty Python humour at the other. Whatever your preference, the emphasis is on quality. The “Venues have created a theatres showing traditional pantos have built a marvellous following for their stylish reputation for delivering a quality show; a family interpretations of classic entertainment that keeps the Christmas tales” kids and adults happy. Other venues have created a following for their stylish interpretations of classic Christmas tales; productions that seamlessly bind quality drama with fun and entertainment. There are concerts too, of seasonal music, carols and ceilidhs, dances and classics for all tastes. And then there’s the silliness, the pure, unapologetic madness of a Monty Python musical, a show that has wowed audiences on both sides of the Atlantic. Some like their Christmas entertainment served with a huge slice of glitter and glamour, with sparkles and innuendo. Others will love the classic charms of a traditional ballet or an evening of festive music; some the warmth of a classic drama and others... well, others will revel in a medieval romp with knights, dragons and more silliness than you can wag a finger at. Enjoy!


Television and film actor and one of British theatre’s biggest stars, Nigel Havers, is heading to Crawley this Christmas to lead the cast in this year’s swashbuckling pantomime, Peter Pan, at The Hawth. Nigel, who will play the role of the villainous Captain Hook in Peter Pan, has appeared in countless television programmes including Lunch Monkeys, Little Britain, Brothers And Sisters and The Sarah Jane Adventures. His film roles include Empire Of The Sun, A Passage To India and Chariots Of Fire. Peter Pan is produced by Qdos Entertainment, the world’s largest pantomime producer, and staged by the same team behind the theatre’s recent recordbreaking pantomimes of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs and Cinderella. “We are thrilled to have such an icon of British theatre lead the cast of this year’s superb production at The Hawth,” says Jonathan Kiley, executive producer of the show. “Nigel is a highly-celebrated actor in the world of entertainment and he is relishing the chance to play Captain Hook and being as villainous as he can!” Featuring magnificent scenery, beautiful costumes, an abundance of comedy and stunning flying sequences, Peter Pan will have The Hawth’s hallmark of outstanding value-for-money and entertainment. Peter Pan, The Hawth, Crawley, Friday 9 December–Saturday 31 December 2011. Tickets from £12.75, box office: 01293 553636,


Eastbourne’s famous pantomime just got bigger and better with a brand new adventure at the Devonshire Park Theatre: The Adventures Of Robin Hood. This panto is on target to bring some festive fun to your Christmas celebrations, starring TV baddy John Altman – best known as EastEnders’ Nasty Nick Cotton – and West End star Tracey Penn (Love Never Dies) as the heroic Robin! This production also sees the return of comedy duo, Martyn Knight as Dame Double Top and Carl Patrick as Will Scarlett. With ticket prices that won’t leave your purse empty, your band of merry men will love this fun, family, feel-good show. The story follows Robin Hood and his motley crew who live in the enchanted Sherwood Forest, but the scheming Sheriff of Nottingham has the beautiful Maid Marion in his sights. Can Robin rescue her from his evil clutches? Will Eastbourne’s favourite Dame, Martyn Knight, ever find a man? Find out with this brand new pantomime, packed with all the trademark ingredients including live band, stunning costumes, comedy mayhem plus some new surprises for 2011 – and all without the cast laddering their tights! Be sure to book early as tickets are selling fast, priced from just £10.50. The Adventures of Robin Hood, Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne 9 December 2011–15 January 2013, box office: 01323 412000,

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe

There’s a classic Christmas show from the home of great theatre: Chichester Festival Theatre. Each year their youth group produce a stunning Christmas show that never fails to delight audiences and this year promises to be no exception with their production of the C. S. Lewis classic children’s fantasy, The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe. This spellbinding story of courage, treachery, hope and imagination is cherished by generations and is a perfect Christmas treat for all the family. Join the four young and heroic adventurers as they tumble through a wardrobe into a world frozen in a hundred year winter: the magnificent, mysterious land of deep magic... Narnia. The lovable Mr Tumnus and his fantastical friends will join forces to battle with bravery and honour against the White Witch, under the watchful eye of Aslan, the majestic King of the woods. With battles against good and evil and an abundance of mythical creatures – dwarves, giants, beavers, unicorns,



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naiads and dryads – there will be plenty of musicality and adventure to let your imagination take you to Narnia this Christmas. The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe has been lovingly adapted for the stage by Adrian Mitchell and faithfully recreated by the award-winning Chichester Festival Youth Theatre (CFYT), who have produced enthralling Christmas productions for the past eight years, under the consummate direction of Dale Rooks. All proceeds from the charity performance will be donated to Winston’s Wish. The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, Festival Theatre, Chichester, 17–31 December.

Snow Play

Over at The Minerva Theatre, younger audiences can immerse themselves in Snow Play. Imagine finding Winter had moved into your house while you’d been away on holiday. You’d have snow and icicles in the house. That’s what happens in this interactive show when Mr Green tries to keep Winter in the garden where he belongs! There’s a roll in the snow, a giant snowman, and a great snowball fight along the way! A fantastic show ideal for children aged 3–7 and their family. – “A fantastic, utterly enchanting show. Children and adults will be captivated.” Evening Standard Minerva Theatre, Chichester, 12–15 December.

Moscow City Ballet: The Nutcracker and Romeo And Juliet

After the holidays the resplendent Moscow City Ballet return to celebrate the New Year with two ballets showcasing its exquisite talents, lavish costumes and skilled movement from bravissimo dancers and accompanied by a full live orchestra. Founded by former Bolshoi Ballet soloist and choreographer Victor Smirnov-Golovanov, Moscow City Ballet are one of Russia’s most successful touring companies for the past 20 years. In the romantic, heartbreaking and unforgettable Romeo And Juliet, Moscow City Ballet showcases Shakespeare’s tragic tale of ‘star-crossed lovers’ to Prokofiev’s emotive score. This powerful production expresses true love striving against familial rivalry. Back by popular demand, you are invited to join them in the fairy-tale ballet, The Nutcracker, illuminated by Tchaikovsky’s magnificent score. The magical characters of the sweeties, the Mouse King, the Toy Soldier and the effervescent Sugar Plum Fairy are crafted with sparkling dances to entice you into this Christmas spectacle. The Nutcracker is a perfect introduction to ballet and a charming festive treat for all the family. Festival Theatre, Chichester, 5–8 January 2012 01243 781312,,


Waving the wand of goodwill and bringing comedy, glamour and a sprinkling of fairy dust to the production is former Bad Girls, Coronation Street and Carry On... comedian Amanda Barrie who will guide Cinderella towards Prince Charming when she plays Fairy Godmother. Amanda first became popular for her role in classic comedy Carry On Cleo but it is for her portrayal of Alma Baldwin, one of Coronation Street’s bestloved characters, that she is known to millions.


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Amanda spent 20 eventful years in ‘The Street’ before Alma died in an episode which was seen by over 15 million viewers and created a power surge on National Grid’s network when more than 400,000 kettles were switched on at the end of the show. She went on to appear in the ITV hit series Bad Girls as con-artist and fraudster Beverley Tull. Amanda is joined by stage and television actor John Lyons who appeared as loyal and steadfast Detective Sergeant Toolan alongside Sir David Jason’s Inspector Frost in ITV’s A Touch of Frost. John now breathes new life into Baron Hardup, the downtrodden, cash-strapped father of Cinderella in this sparkling production which promises all the traditional pantomime ingredients. “Cinderella is bursting with traditional comedy and slapstick for all the family,” says producer Paul Holman. “Ian Jones, who plays everyone’s best friend Buttons, will remind many of Lee Evans with his visual comedy. We have fabulous Ugly Sisters Darrock and Howe, while Cinderella is played by Worthing’s own Naomi Slater. “The sets and scenery are straight out of a magical fairy tale book and the costumes are stunning, especially in the ballroom scene and finale. We have local dancers from Glendale Theatre Arts throughout the show and Shetland Ponies also make an appearance in the transformation scene which promises to be breathtaking.” Cinderella, Connaught Theatre, Worthing, 2 December–31 December 2011, box offices at the Connaught and Pavilion Theatres, 01903 206206 ,


TV and West End star Darren Day will star as notorious pirate Captain Hook with children’s favourite, Rollo, as fun-loving pirate Smee in the Pavilion Theatre’s high energy production of Peter Pan. Heart trio Tom Evans, Lynsey Bartlett and Jack Hayes from the Sussex breakfast show will share the roles of Starkey the Pirate and Sarah the Cook. Peter Pan is played by dancer James Lyley while Worthing’s own Amber Pearce plays native of Neverland Tiger Lily. Featuring vibrant sets, sumptuous costumes, an ultra-violet spectacular and live band, Peter Pan tells the timeless tale of the boy who never grew up. During his 30th year of creating production shows, director, writer

and producer Paul Hammond will take audiences beyond imagination to meet all the characters from the famous book including feisty fairy Tinkerbell, the crew of the Jolly Roger, and Captain Hook’s nemesis the ticking crocodile. “It’s great to return to Worthing with our most exciting, fun-filled show yet,” says Paul Hammond. “There will be songs everyone recognises, from original tracks and festive favourites to some of the greatest hits from the last year plus all the traditional parts of panto including the songsheet, larger-than-life characters, transformation scene and lots of audience participation. Whether it’s groups of friends or the entire family, Peter Pan has plenty of Christmas sparkle for everyone.” Peter Pan, Pavilion Theatre, Worthing. 8 December 2011–1 January 2012, box offices at the Connaught and Pavilion Theatres, 01903 206206,


Brace yourselves for an evening of unbridled (well, let’s face it, there are no horses – just coconut shells) silliness. Yes, it’s the West End and Broadway hit comedy musical Spamalot. For those of you totally committed to pantomime you should know that no West End hit musical has ever been more inspired by the traditions of pantomime. This is classic fairy tale “No West End nonsense; the legend of King Arthur, musical has his knights and their search for the Holy Grail but with a difference. ever been more And that difference is the undeniable lunacy that comes with inspired by the anything touched by the hands of the Monty Python team, legendary traditions of in their own way. And make no pantomime” mistake, this is comedy theatre for the whole family. Packed to the brim with great songs, most specially written for the show but also including the classic Spam song, ‘Lumberjacks’ and their classic ‘Always Look On The Bright Side of Life’. Based on the hit film Monty Python And The Holy Grail, expect to meet the Knights who go Ni, Tim the Enchanter, Mrs Galahad and The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog. There is even the Black Knight, a psychotic,

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SPAMALOT COMPETITION Your chance to win one of three great family tickets to see Spamalot


pamalot will no doubt be one of the funniest shows this Christmas with something to tickle the old and the young alike. If you would like a chance to win one of three family tickets to see the show, then simply write a caption for this photograph and send it in to us! We are looking for something funny, silly or witty, in true Monty Python style. Send your caption to with Spamalot in the subject box. Closing date: 31 October 2011.

invincible knight who insists on fighting on, even after all his limbs have been cut off. Hot news is that Theatre Royal Brighton have just confirmed that the Lady of The Lake will once again be played by the irrepressible Jodie Prenger, who took the town by storm when she played the role on the first national tour. Jodie won hit BBC series I’d Do Anything and the starring role of Nancy in the West End revival of Oliver. The part of King Arthur will once again be played by Marcus Brigstocke who proves that he is not only one of the country’s funniest satirical comedians but he also has a pretty fine voice. Todd Carty returns as his sidekick Patsy in a role that saw him find his full comic potential. Suitable for children aged eight and over at parents’ discretion and particularly for teenagers who cringe at the idea of a traditional panto, this is the year’s alternative alternative and bound to be a hugely popular choice. Spamalot, Theatre Royal Brighton, 15 December 2011–14 January 2012, box office: 0844 871 7650 (bkg fee),

BRIGHTON DOME Royal Danish Ballet: Romeo & Juliet

The classic love story of Romeo and Juliet gets a modern makeover as Danish dance star Peter Schaufuss Ballet revives Frederick Ashton’s seminal production. Ashton, co-founder of Britain’s Royal Ballet, first staged his Romeo And Juliet for the Royal Danish Ballet in 1955. Since then it has graced the world’s premier stages from the New York Met to the London Coliseum with its fusion of Shakespeare’s text, Prokofiev’s music and Ashton’s intimate choreography. Now, the Olivier Award-winning Danish choreographer/director Peter Schaufuss brings this captivating production bang up-to-date. Romeo And Juliet, 28–30 December 2011,Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £10, £16, £22, £25.50, £28.50, (children go half price with adults paying the top three ticket prices), 01273 709709,

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PANTOS, CHRISTMAS SHOWS & CONCERTS Royal Danish Ballet: Romeo & Juliet

The Nutcracker

In the second of their two seasonal offerings Peter Schaufuss brings the wonder of classical ballet but with a modern twist to Brighton Dome this Christmas. Join Clara on her journey with the handsome Nutcracker Prince to the land of dreams and in her battle against growing up in Tchaikovsky’s spellbinding Christmas classic. This multi award-winning production of the magical traditional ballet set to the iconic Tchaikovsky score is brought to life in this 21st century staging. With contemporary characters and toys and games that today’s children will revel in, The Nutcracker is a magical festive treat for the whole family. “Schaufuss’s choreographic ability unfolds itself in a delicate blend of the traditional and the innovative,” – Danish Jutland Post The Nutcracker, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 22 December, (opening Gala performance in the presence of the Right Worshipful Mayor of the City of Brighton and Hove Councillor Anne Meadows), plus a collection in aid of the Mayor’s charities. Evening dress optional, 7.30pm; 22–23 Dec, 7.30pm; 24 December, 2.30pm; 26 December, 5pm; 27 December, 2.30pm and 7.30pm, £10, £16, £22, £25.50, £28.50 (children go half price with adults paying top three ticket prices), 01273 709709,

Robin and the Big Freeze

Also showing at the Brighton Dome complex this Christmas is Robin And The Big Freeze. With suitcases and Sat Navs, the birds are getting ready to leave town. Robin remains; he’s got lots to do like tweeting at anyone who comes near his patch and posing for Christmas cards. But the snow is on its way and lots of it... is everyone ready for the big freeze? This festive feast of a show breaks the ice and warms the heart with fantastic puppets, live music and bird-watching for all – whether you’re fleeing the nest or ruling the roost this Christmas! Ideal for children aged four plus. “Unpacked's new show for young children is a snowy delight.” – Total Theatre 8–11 December 2011, 01273 709709,

Snow Play

When Mr Green comes back from his Christmas holidays he finds that Mr White has moved into his house and covered everything in snow. All Mr White wants to do is sleep and have fun but Mr Green can’t stand the snow. Who gets to stay, and who has to go away? You decide, as you make a giant snowman, have a super snowball fight and help bring back spring in this delightfully festive, smash-hit interactive children’s show, ideal for youngsters aged three to seven. 3 December–4 December 2011, 1pm & 3pm, tickets £7/£5, £22 family ticket (two adults, two children), 01273 709709,

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Food & Drink Andrew Kay has been presenting the Brighton & Hove Foodie awards at Pub du Vin

Foodies final T

he winners of Brighton & Hove Foodie Awards 2011, chosen by 5,000 public votes, received their trophies from myself and Juice FM DJ Andrea Fox at the Dome Room at Pub du Vin, which was the grand finale of the city’s September Food Festival. Vegetarians won the day, with restaurant Terre à Terre in East Street retaining its position as the city’s favourite restaurant, taking first place as Best Restaurant 2011. The Chilli Pickle, which recently expanded into MyHotel overlooking Jubilee Square, came second, with another curry favourite, Indian Summer in East Street, claimed third. The Prince George in Trafalgar Street, another vegetarian winner, took Best Food Pub 2011 by just one vote. Last year’s winner, the Ginger Pig in Hove Street, took second place and The Foragers in Stirling Place in Hove was third. Cafés in The Lanes and North Laine jostled for the coveted Best Café 2011 award throughout the competition, with another vegetarian outlet, Iydea in Kensington Gardens, winning first place. Cloud 9 in Brighton Place took second and Metro Deco, in Kemp Town’s Upper St James’s Street, came in third. The Best Food Shop trophy was once again carried off by the much-loved Infinity Foods (also vegetarian) in Gardner Street, this year celebrating its 40th anniversary in the city. Real Patisserie came in second place after being on the leaderboard throughout the competition and The Brighton Sausage Company in Gloucester Road claimed third position.

Awards organisers Natural PR, Kat Ratcliffe, Paula Seager, Sandra Murphy

Foodies 2011 winners Steve Billam (Iydea), Jayne Williams (Infinity), Andrew Kay, Andrea Fox, Malcolm Ingram (Prince George), Philip Taylor (Terre à Terre)

“A superb and unique range of independent restaurants, food pubs, cafés and food shops”

Richmond Creperie ladies

Tony Leonard, Stephen Adams, Mayor Anne Meadows

“This year’s awards event was bigger and better than last year and there was a fantastic atmosphere – with a lot of camaraderie between the city’s favourite food places. I think we can safely say that the city’s vegetarian outlets have the most fervent and loyal customers, judging by the votes this year, showing just how important this market is in the city,” said Paula Seager, MD of Natural PR, that run the awards.

“The competition once again shows what a superb and unique range of independent restaurants, food pubs, cafés and food shops we have in the city and that there is huge support for them here, as the public came out in force to vote for their favourites again,” added Paula. “We want to thank everyone who took part, our sponsors ‘We Talk Law’ and ‘Gourmet Britain’, all the food outlets who joined the competition and the public who voted so enthusiastically – and we hope that they will all support us again when we launch the Brighton and Hove Foodie Awards 2012 at the city’s Spring Harvest Food and Drink Festival next April.” Find out more and keep up to date on the city’s foodie news at

Did your favourites win?

030_LS548_hotlist_Hotlist 13/10/2011 12:38 Page 2


L7 Hotlist Cafés & restaurants catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit British & modern European

The Loop Café-Bar & Coffee House

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Nestling on Kemp Town seafront is this contemporary Anglo-Brazilian café-bar with a menu that features traditional English fare as well as some tasty Brazilian dishes. Whether you choose one of the stylish red sofas, or the sunny south-facing front terrace, you can enjoy free Wi-Fi while you savour the homemade food and great selection of coffees. Open 11am–8pm Monday–Friday, 10am–7pm Saturday and Sunday. 16 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 677944,

Breeze Brasserie

The Medicine Chest


A bright, chilled restaurant, Breeze is situated on North Laine’s busy Trafalgar Street. Relaxed and upbeat, Breeze’s atmosphere matches its name, with friendly service and an informal, vintage style look combining exposed brick with reclaimed clocks and mirrors and modern café seating and comfy banquettes. Inspired by Modern European cuisine, Breeze serves brasserie style food, plus a good selection of heartier rustic dishes made with local produce, throughout the day – breakfast, lunch and dinner – as well as offering a well stocked bar for those lazy evenings enjoying cocktails and good food. A must after a day shopping at local boutiques or lazing on the beach, Breeze is the perfect addition to Brighton’s dining scene. Breeze, 98 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4ER, 01273 693377,

The Gallery Restaurant – The Lanes If you’re looking for an independent restaurant offering some of the very best steaks and British dishes then why not try The Gallery Restaurant? Located in an old fishing cottage in the very heart of Brighton’s Lanes, The Gallery Restaurant prides itself in offering the very best dishes, service and ambience – British style! In the summer they boast one of Brighton’s largest alfresco terraces with live jazz day and night, and in the winter the mood is relaxed and welcoming. Try their lunch set menu: one course for £7.95 or two courses for £10.95, and in the evenings two courses for £14.95 or three courses for £18.95. 28 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL 01273 773327,

Hove’s newest hidden treasure (previously The Sanctuary Café) offers their Express Working Lunch from 12pm–3pm Tuesdays to Fridays for £9.95 which includes tea or coffee. On Friday 7 October the quintessentially British tradition of taking afternoon tea launches (3–6pm) and will then be served every afternoon at £25 per person for a full tea and £15 per person for a mini tea. Bone china and delicious homemade sandwiches, scones and a selection of delicate cakes. The Medicine Chest, 51-55 Brunswick Street East, Hove, BN3 1AU, 01273 770002,

The Old Bank Steak & Ribs

Kemp Town’s friendly new steakhouse restaurant serves delicious food with great service in a warm and comfortable setting. Locally-owned and aiming to be the Cheers of the neighbourhood, The Old Bank offers quality steak and ribs, local catch of the day, grilled chicken and vegetarian dishes at great value prices. A fantastic wine list, selected mainly from local merchants by GQ wine columnist Jonathan Ray, compliments their wholesome and satisfying food. Kids’ menu great value. Open Mon–Thurs, 5pm–9.30pm; Fri–Sun, 12pm–10pm; live background Sunday jazz 6–8pm, and open all day bank holidays. Plus the garden is now open for summer! 120 St George’s Road, Kemp Town Village, BN1 1EA, 01273 682200,


Plateau is a unique bar à vin and restaurant. They have put a great deal of time and love

into selecting their wines. To soak up their wine they serve ‘bites’, small dishes that are perfect to share or great as a starter. Follow your ‘bites’ with a ‘plat’ or ‘plateau’ and that’s their dinner experience. But don’t forget to try their cocktails! Plateau, 1 Bartholomews, Brighton, BN1 1HG, 01273 733085

The Restaurant At Drakes

Awarded two AA Rosettes and having achieved the highest score in The Good Food Guide 2011 for the second consecutive year, The Restaurant At Drakes really has earned it’s reputation as Brighton’s finest restaurant. Using only premium quality seasonal produce, Head chef Andrew Mackenzie and his team create superb modern European cuisine. Regularly changing two or three course dinner and lunch menus available daily or for a true foodie experience, opt for the gourmet five course Chef’s Taster Menu. For an extra special touch, an elegant private dining room, with dedicated waiter is available for parties of up to 12 guests. The new summer terrace at Drakes is now open for informal alfresco lunches – perfect for well deserved sundowners after work. 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934,

The Townhouse Restaurant Kemp Town

The Townhouse is discovering itself as a home for all, with a dining area, lounge bar, private function suite and a piano room. The head chef brings all his prestige from The London Dorchester to create a menu specialising in locally sourced steaks, seafood and vegetarian dishes, that fits the Brighton way. Whether you want a quick lunch or wish to stay the evening, they promise you a warm welcome that will make you not want to leave! Enjoy the live pianist Wednesday and Friday nights, 8pm–10pm, or the resident jazz band for Sunday roasts, 5pm–7.30pm. Don't forget their great value lunch set menu (two courses £11.95, three courses £15.95 ) and evening (two courses £15.95, three courses £18.95 ), which runs Monday toThursday. For promotions visit their website or call them. 81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton BN2 1PA, 01273 693216,

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321,

French Cocoa Patisserie

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

Mange Tout

Mange Tout is an independent bistro that opened two years ago. Great French cooking and fresh, local, ethical produce has proved to be a success. Visit for breakfast for the acclaimed eggs Mange Tout, lunch for the daily specials or dinner for refined French classics. Local beers and carefully selected wines or just a freshly squeezed orange juice with your breakfast! Mange Tout, 81 Trafalgar street, BN1 4EB, 01273 607270

New Steine Bistro

Breeze Brasserie

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs. No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude: everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50

for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm. 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415

Indian Chaula’s

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,

Indian Summer

Nationally acclaimed and a favourite with locals, Indian Summer is celebrating its 10th anniversary. Serving favourites like masala dosa and bhel puri, the menu is influenced from genuine recipes covering south, north, and central india. For lunch you can choose two courses for £10 or a new tapas street menu with four choices for 11.95. An elegant evening set menu starts at £21.95. Booking is strongly advised. For offers and events find them on Facebook. 69 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ, 01273 711001,

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477,

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135,

Mediterraneo Deli

Mediterraneo Deli is indeed a family business, dedicated to serving you the best tasting, truly genuine and most authentic Sicilian food. The family-run deli offers mouth-watering daily specials, birthday cakes made to order and typical Sicilian products. They enjoy catering for all events from lunch meetings to dinner parties and weddings. Every dish is prepared daily and served fresh to order with ingredients genuinely sourced from Sicily. Open 9am–3pm Mon-Fri, 10am–3pm Sat, 2a Clyde Road, Brighton, BN1 4NP, 01273 674350,

Thai The Green Mango

The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at £4.95, and we’re open every day, so come down and “gin yur yur” (eat a lot!) 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226,

Wine bar Ten Green Bottles

Both a wine shop and bar, we offer an exclusive range of wines to take home or enjoy here by the glass or bottle, sourced direct from artisan producers across Europe. Private tasting events can be organised, and, because we charge just a small corkage on a bottle to drink in, avoiding the usual markup, they are certainly the best value in Brighton for good quality wine! 9 Jubilee Street, Brighton, BN1 1GE, 01273 567176,

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

031_LS548_health-geeks_editorial 14/10/2011 12:26 Page 1


Geeks-on-Wheels Jamie Shaw of Geeks-on-Wheels pays tribute to the late Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Inc Steve Jobs founded Apple in a garage and became the CEO of the world’s most powerful technology company, Apple Inc. Feb 1955 – Steve is born in California and adopted by Paul and Clara Jobs. April 1976 — Jobs starts Apple Computer with high-school buddy Steven Wozniak. April 1977 — The Apple II is unveiled, the first personal computer in a plastic case with colour graphics. Sept 1980 — Apple shares begin trading on Nasdaq. Jan 1983 — Apple starts selling the “Lisa,” a desktop computer for businesses with a graphical user interface. Jan 1984 — Apple debuts the Macintosh personal computer. Sep 1985 — Jobs is deposed as Apple’s chairman and leaves the company after a boardroom coup. Feb 1986 — Jobs founds computer company NeXT Inc. June 1986 — Jobs purchases computer graphics division of Lucasfilm Ltd for $10m US and cofounds Pixar Animation Studios with Lucasfilm’s Ed Catmull. Feb 1993 — NeXT gets out of the hardware business and focuses on its software. Dec 1996 — Apple announces it will buy NeXT for $400m US and Jobs will act as part-time product strategy adviser to CEO Gilbert Amelio. July 1997 — After losses totalling $1.5bn over six quarters, Amelio resigns as CEO and Jobs steps into the role on a de facto basis. Aug 1997 — Rival Microsoft Corp. invests $150m US in the struggling Apple. Sept 1997 — Apple formally names Jobs interim CEO. Nov 1997 — Jobs introduces a new line of Macintosh computers called G3 and a website that lets people order directly from Apple. Aug 1998 — Apple launches the colourful iMac all-in-one desktop personal computer. Oct 1998 — Apple reports its first profit since 1995. Jan 2000 — Jobs becomes permanent chief executive of Apple

and the company’s board votes to give him a Gulfstream V airplane and options to purchase 10 million shares in recognition of his service as interim CEO. During this time the company’s market cap went from less than $2 billion US to more than $16 billion US. Sept 2000 — Apple unveils nextgen. operating system Mac OS X. Oct 2001 — The iPod debuts. 2003 — The iTunes Store opens. 2003 — Jobs is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Aug 2004 — Jobs announces he underwent successful surgery to remove a cancerous tumour. June 2005 — Jobs delivers a commencement speech at Stanford University, telling the audience, “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” May 2006 — Walt Disney buys Pixar in an all-stock transaction worth $7.4bn. Jobs is appointed to Disney’s board of directors. Jan 2007 — Apple announces the original iPhone. 2008 — Apple opens its App Store. July 2008 — Apple releases the second generation iPhone 3G. Aug 2008 — Bloomberg Business News wire accidentally publishes an obituary of the still-alive Jobs before quickly deleting it. Jan 2009 — Jobs takes leave for health reasons. June 2009 — Jobs returns to the company after undergoing a liver transplant; Apple releases the iPhone 3GS. Nov 2009 — Fortune magazine names Jobs “CEO of the Decade.” April 2010 — Apple begins selling the iPad. June 2010 — Apple releases the first iPhone 4 model. 17 Jan, 2011 — Jobs says he will take another medical leave. 2 March, 2011 — Apple launches the iPad 2. Aug 2011 — Jobs steps down as CEO. Tim Cook takes the helm. 4 Oct, 2011 — Apple announces the iPhone 4S 5 Oct, 2011 — Apple releases a statement announcing Jobs’ death.

Geeks-on-Wheels Europe Ltd. won the PC Retail Awards 2010 ‘Service and Support’ category – our IT support services really are second to none for consumers and businesses. Try our managed cloud back-up service for small business customers – Geeks-on-Wheels Europe support home and small business customers across the south-east of England. Call free on 0800 107 4111 (outside the M25) or 0800 107 4110 (London – within the M25) to reserve your Geek.

Breast aware

Early detection signs and fundraising ideas for Breast Cancer Awareness Month


ctober is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Popular household brands, food and clothing items have turned pink to raise essential money for Breast Cancer charities. Businesses and families are invited to take part in fundraising events – the whole nation, it seems, has been ‘Tickled Pink.’ We must remember though, that breast cancer also affects men. While women over the age of 50 are the biggest risk factor, around three hundred men are diagnosed with breast cancer every year. Some may debate the sale of pink and feminine products to promote Breast Cancer Awareness, the problem being that said products don’t acknowledge men with breast cancer. But while ‘think pink’ remains a strong message, there are a number of fundraising events groups can hold to raise awareness and funds for breast cancer charities – with no lashings of ‘pink’ required.

Breast cancer in women

Changes The vital message is to examine your breasts regularly – male or female, young or old. Know what’s normal and report any changes to your GP. Try to get in the habit of doing a breast selfexamination. Use the flats of your fingers in small circular motions from the nipple to the armpit (using your fingertips means you will feel deeper into the tissue and may mistake tissue for lumps). Remember, not all lumps are cancerous – they may be benign cysts or overgrowth of tissue. Everyone’s breasts are different; altering with age and at different times of the month. Earlier detection and improved treatment means we are closer to beating breast cancer every year. Show your support for Breast Cancer Awarness month with the products you buy, or hold an event with friends.

Get involved

Breast Cancer Campaign identifies signs to watch out for: • Lumps or a thickening of breast tissue • Continuous pain in the breasts or armpits •One breast becoming larger or lower than normal •Puckering or dimpling on the surface of the skin • Nipples becoming inverted changing shape or position • Swelling under the armpit or around the collarbone

Breast cancer in men • Swelling or painless lumps in breast tissue, often towards the nipple • Nipples that are tender, turned in or producing discharge • Swelling underneath armpits

Breast Cancer Campaign’s Wear It Pink Day takes place 28 October 2011. Team up with colleagues, family or friends, wear something pink on the day and donate £2 to Breast Cancer Campaign. Have a ‘Pink Friday’ and support Breast Cancer Care. Either dress pink, eat and drink pink or party pink. It’s an easy and fun way to support this great cause. Donate £2 to Breast Cancer Care. follow me on twitter


Pink woolly hat, from Debenhams, supporting Breast Cancer Awareness month, £tbc,

Hot pink cardigan, from Marks & Spencer, supporting Breast Cancer Awareness month, £22,

Limited edition pink lace top, £30, from Warehouse, supporting Breast Cancer Awarness Month,

032_033_LS548_reviewsbookings _Reviews 14/10/2011 15:14 Page 2



L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at

FEELING FRISKY The number one party venue in Europe’s sexiest city – BRIGHTON! You make the booking, we make it happen. Tell us what you want, we’ll provide it all. A fabulous party and you have to do nothing!

NEW!! We can now film your party in high definition and give you a DVD to take away with you at amazing introductory prices. We are the first venue in the UK to offer this.

Birthdays Weddings Civil Partnerships Office Parties Hen and Stag Nights

FRISKY AND MANNISH – POP CENTRE PLUS Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 7 October JJJJJ


lowing the socks off the Corn Exchange from the off, Frisky & Mannish continued where their previous shows left off:assuming their audience as a roomful of wannabes hungry for their barbed advice as to how to progress in the world of pop. More interactive than ever before, peppered with brilliant and versatile vocals and fabulous dance moves, this wonderful cabaret couple continue to lampoon their musical icons and disposable musical fads with ostentacious aplomb. After their last show had begun to show cracks, it was great to see them back on biting form. Victoria Nangle


It takes a highly skilled comedian to make the half-full cavernous Corn Exchange buzz with electricity and Andrew Maxwell broke the meter. Unashamedly angry and political, Maxwell nonetheless brought a warmth and playfulness to proceedings; his piece on how the media treats the Middleton sisters was sharp, accurate and a brilliant bit of physical comedy. The routine on the riots was original and the funniest of its kind I’ve seen. I will also never look at Dougal from Father Ted in the same way. Maxwell should be selling out the Concert Hall rather than half filling the Corn Exchange. Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 8 October JJJJJ Simon Plotkin


Most reunion shows have a faint whiff of embarrassment, as if the band failed to successfully move on and begrudgingly had to fall back into old routines. This was never going to be a

problem for loveable nineties poprock favourites Terrorvision. Indeed, from vocalist Tony Wright’s brilliant dad-dancing to unashamed silly singalongs of “Doo-Wop” in biggest hit ‘Oblivion’, these unfashionable Bradford forty-somethings seemed incapable of awkwardness. The feeling of return for the sheer joy of performing was infectious, with a packed Concorde bouncing gleefully, lapping up this greatest hits set. With polished, pre-packaged pop dullards now the norm, one thing’s obvious: Britain needs Terrorvision. Concorde 2, 8 October JJJJJ Nick Aldwinckle

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This isn’t just a master class in percussion; it’s a theatrical experience not to be missed. These beautifully crafted instruments were played with the utmost respect to create the most wonderful sound imaginable. The drummers all played with precision, control and created a texture of noise that enriched your very being. Dressed in urban guerrilla warfare attire, take away the sticks and you could quite easily be in martial arts demonstration. When they played under U.V. lighting, the atmosphere turned from earthy and tribal to ephemeral and spiritual. It really got the juices going, a completely invigorating evening. Absolutely brilliant. Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 9 October JJJJJ Lee Stevens

L7 Bookings On sale this week…

STEPS – THE ULTIMATE TOUR Brighton Centre, 17 April 2012, £35, 0844 847 1515, Claire, ‘H’, Faye, Lisa and Lee have reunited for an explosive TV documentary series on SKY Living, a new album and now a huge return to the live circuit with ‘The Ultimate Tour’ set for April 2012. The album and the tour will celebrate their biggest chart topping hits.

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to

CHARLIE SIMPSON Concorde 2, 28 October, £12.50 + booking fee, 01273 673311 Following the Top Ten success of his debut album ‘Young Pilgrim’, Charlie Simpson has announced his next single will be ‘Cemetery’, which will be released as a digital download on October 31st. Only a few days after this gig. In case you were having difficulties placing him... Charlie used to be invloved in a little pop effort called Busted.


Latest Brighton Download Chart

TOP 10 1 BreakinBear Joe Cocker – Never Tear Us Apart (Remix) 2 North Laine So Slow Down 3 The Magik Word Break Free (Terrorvision) 4 Atom Grad In The Dead Of Night 5 Amongst The Pigeons Wings Wings BeAt 6 Stuart Newman The Head Hurts 7 BreakinBear Rebel In Cheif 8 Lolatwist Pretty

DOG IS DEAD Sticky Mike’s, 3 November, £6, 01273 749465, The Nottingham quintet have been supporting Bombay Bicycle Club on their UK tour before setting off for this small headline tour of their own. Garnering favourable reviews along the way.


Not so much stand-up as politics and philosophy, Hardy has the air of a rebel school teacher, the kind pupils love, the one that tells stories and politicizes when he should be discussing the sub-plot of Richard II. But Hardy is all about sub-plot, the machinations of the media, the government and of course his own mind. It’s a rich diet of angst and anger peppered with silliness and self-deprecation. Hardy is worried about everything and he wanted to share that burden in a sprawling set that lasted over two hours and with only a smattering of conventional gags, which he announced in advance. There’s nothing to dislike about the man, if you share his convictions that is, but it must be uncomfortable for any stray Tories who bought a ticket, and hoorah for that. Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 11 October JJJJJ Andrew Kay


Mike Bartlett’s epic play about climate change, corporate corruption, fathers and children sprawls across a long evening in the theatre that whilst fascinating had me confused and at times bored. Much as I wanted to enjoy it I found myself drifting or lost as the cast waded through what appeared to be a strangely apolitical rant about saving the planet. Even the clever set and the occasional musical number failed to engage me. In fact the musical numbers merely irritated me. Rupert Goold’s usual magic as director seemed to be missing and I

he told us why we should never buy a pizza from a sports shop. Fun, laid back and enjoyable. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 12 October JJJJJ Zara Baker

wanted to shout out ‘Get on with it’. In the second half the story became more cohesive, but by then I had lost the will to watch and what I had enjoyed faded away. Theatre Royal Brighton, 13 October JJJJJ Andrew Kay


James Acaster supporting Milton Jones proved to be a great comedy pairing. A partnership of sorts, their delivery, stage presence and style were similar – while their jokes were unique. James is young, but he took the packed Concert Hall audience in his stride, never faltering with his musings of every-day items and events from using a cheese grater to skydiving tandem. Milton was amazing; drôle, charming and king of the one-liners. A slideshow on an outdated OHP had us smiling ’til our cheeks ached, and his musings at turning road signs into orders (Winchester and Burnley) hit the mark. A brief appearance by Milton’s ‘grandfather’ was equally great, as


If a lifetime is on average 79 years, statistically seven of those years will be spent in the bathroom – so says Alex Horne at the start of his remarkable journey through one life, alphabetically, humorously and engagingly in a single hour. Using props, audience members, a Powerpoint presentation and his own soundscape combining music and pre-recordings of his own voice, Horne took us to the eccentric world of the average man, with each major activity lived in one solid sequential fraction of the whole. Highly enjoyable and just the ticket to enable your mind to escape to a Heath Robinson-style world of infinite possibilities and much mirth. Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 12 October JJJJJ Victoria Nangle Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows?

9 The Woo!worths When I Became a Tyger 10 Chaos Borne The Moment Well, after last week’s (number) one big step for dubstep kind, this time round Breakinbear’s bass-heavy take on Joe Cocker’s pop-rock favourite ‘Never Tear Us Apart’ again claims the chart’s top spot. Snapping at said bear’s heels, Brighton rapper North Laine makes a return to the top five rundown at two with ‘So Slow Down’. Climbing from number 14 last week to grab this week’s third place, we have those other rappers, The Magik Word, with ‘Break Free’ as the bossanova sounds of Atom Grad’s ‘In The Dead Of Night’ takes four and the atmospheric dance of Amongst The Pigeons’ ‘Wings Wings Beat’ takes fifth place.

11Osaro and RJ Shut Up and Dance 12 Stuart Newman 51st State 13 The Wolfgirl Liberation A Bus Ride Home 14 La Lunalight Hear No Evil 15 Fresh Like Dexie Step In The Sun (Slip Into Night) 16 Chaos Borne I Will 17 The Wolfgirl Liberation Theo Jasen’s Strandbeests 18 Chaos Borne Watching 19 Left Hand Red Rope Burn 20 Maria Mcateer – Her Night At Noon Drink The Pain Away SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos


The Fall

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L7 Previews STAGE: I WANT TO BOOGIE Boogaloo Stu’s Pop Magic! promises to be an evening of camp music mayhem and madness


f you ever hankered after a chart career then look no further than this. Devised and hosted by flamboyant part-time pop-star and musical alchemist Boogaloo Stu, Pop Magic! is a theatre show which combines cabaret, pop music and audience participation with cutting-edge recording technologies and social network platforms, to create a fresh new genre of work that is essentially ‘reality theatre’. In just over one hour, audience members are given the opportunity to collectively write, record and produce their very own pop single complete with an accompanying lip-synched video, additionally featuring an assembled cast of participants performing a flashmob dance routine. Along the way, Stu reveals the modest but glittering highs and barrel-scraping lows of his own pop career and how music shaped his future career and forged his own desire to perform. The finished video is the promptly edited and uploaded to the internet; within hours the audience can watch, download and share the results of the show across a multitude of social media platforms. The result is a hilarious and fast-paced D.I.Y. version of The X Factor! In addition to his musical director James Wood and his videographer Jasmine Johnson, Stu will also be joined onstage by legendary dance troupe the Sparklemotion Showponies. Boogaloo Stu's Pop Magic! Marlborough Theatre, 21 October, 8pm, £8/£5 You can also catch this show at White Night Festival where once again you can be the star of the show: The Alternative Village Fete, 29 October, 8.15pm latestandrew

Romany Magic Circle Stage Magician of the Year 2007, is an international magician performing beautiful visual magic, both charming and skilled in the marvellous art of prestidigitation. A fascinating razzle dazzle mix of magic, original comedy and intelligent glamour awaits and singer Jennifer Clarke’s voice will give you chills. The Amazing Variety Show Komedia, 20 November, 2.30pm, £16/10 Box office 0845 293 8480,

>THIS WEEK’S MUST SEES TARTUFFE Theatre Royal Brighton Tue 18–Sat 22 Oct Box office 08448 717 650 theatreroyal SWEENEY TODD – THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET In Repertory until 5 Nov Festival Theatre, Chichester Box office 01243 781312

DEATH BY FATAL MURDER Tues 18–Sat 22 October Connaught Theatre, Worthing Box office 01903 206 206

Sweeny Todd – The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

THE GLEE CLUB Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne Thur 20–Sat 22 October Box office 01323 412000

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

Pic: Catherine Ashmore

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STAGE: THE AMAZING VARIETY SHOW This November a legendary ventriloquist act will be educating a whole new audience in a family entertainment hosted by Steve Hewlett with famous doll, Archie Andrews, and a cast of great supporting acts. Steve Hewlett is a bright new innovator in the world of comedy ventriloquism and in 2006 he became the new voice of Archie Andrews, from Educating Archie fame. Since then he has gone on to receive massive acclaim. ‘What a wonderful act, I wish I was your agent’ said Bruce Forsyth, and The Stage declared – ‘Steve Hewlett: The sharpest knife in the Ventriloquist drawer’. Joining the cast will be Tucker, a former Pontin’s bluecoat, and a cheeky comic who has thrilled audiences on stage and on TV. He also has a powerful singing voice. The Guardian described him as ‘A new comedy sensation’. Also on the variety bill are Dame Lucy Bun & Reg with their unique take on married life, the act will take you on a whirlwind of fun and laughter.

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CLUBS: MARGOT’S BOLLYWOOD BOUDOIR Margot’s party returns, this time with an Indian theme and attendees are to dress as Maharajas or Bollywood babes with bindis, bangles and batik. The party features DJs, burlesque, cabaret, and pole dancing entertainment with the option of dining before the party starts. Proud Brighton Ballroom, 10pm–2am, 22 October, £10 CLUBS: FAMILY FUNKTUNES Family Funktunes joins with Vinyl Veterans to bring you a night of raw soul, funk, disco and old school hip hop to celebrate their tenth anniversary. On vinyl only, dance to Dante, Delv, SiSupahoop, Nick Mellor, Mac McRaw, Mr Krum and Scratchy Muffin. Latest Musicbar, 21 October, 9pm–late, £5 MUSIC: NOAH & THE WHALE Their third album, Last Night on Earth, saw Charlie Fink and Co enter a new era of maturity, Fink's songs growing in stature as little gems of storytelling nous. It was also more upbeat and poppier than their rather disappointing second album. One of the original gang members of the nu-folk scene, their certainly one of the more adventurous. Brighton Dome, 18 Oct, 7pm, £15.50

MUSIC: BAXTER DURY He appeared on the cover of his dad's New Boots and Panties album, as a five year old, but since the release of his debut album in ’05, and of course without his dad who died in 2000, Baxter has been carving out an identity that, although enjoys the benefit of association, has managed to stand on its merits. ‘Seaside psychedelia’ is how he describes the recently released Happy Soup – full of lyrical playfulness and acute character analysis. Komedia, 24 October, 7pm, £8


MUSIC: EARLY MUSIC FESTIVAL Embracing musical influences from all over


MUSIC: YANN TIERSEN The title of his new single ‘I'm Gonna Live Anyhow’ is inspired by Alan Lomax’s Southern Journey album, I'm Gonna Live Anyhow Until I Die, but this is a world away from the raw, scratchy, folk music that Lomax made and recorded for posterity via countless field recordings in the USA. It's taken from Tiersen’s seventh album, Skyline, is another atmospheric and euphoric work that in the 70s would have been labeled ‘progressive’, but is more often than not, simply gorgeous. Concorde 2, 21 October, 7pm, £16 Baxter Dury

oing from strength to strength, the Brighton Early Music Festival (BREMF) is known for doing things differently, and has somehow made mostly esoteric and very old music attractive not only to afficionados, but to music lovers in general. "With this year's festival theme of dance, those plans include persuading you to take centre-stage and even try your hand at belly-dancing," says co-artistic director and founder Deborah Roberts. Running from 21 October, but with many workshops already having taken place in the lead-up to the official festival proper, BREMF is always looking to engage with their audience rather than just putting on a series of concerts. “You can take to the stage with everything from belly-dancing workshops with Galit Mersand (leading to a performance in the festival), a workshop with Mary Collins and Robin Benie in preparation for a period masked ball, singing workshops leading to a performance alongside medieval ensemble Joglaresa, and a chance to sing Victoria’s Requiem,” says the other artistic director Clare Norburn. In all there are 24 events during the course of the festival including the Eclipse ensemble, who will be celebrating Celtic and English baroque music with dancer Steven Player; a semi-staged performance of Purcell's The Fairy Queen; and, a music drama based on the novel Sacred Hearts by Sarah Dunant, which features actors, as well as a music and vocal ensemble. BREMF will also be active again during White Nights, 29 October, providing an excellent opportunity to take the classical music format to new places. “Many of these people told us last year that they had never heard live classical music before, yet most were swept away by the power and quality of the music,” says Clare Norburn. This year sees 25 performers in five ensembles spread out over four hours in St. Bartholomew's Church, with the audience roaming around the building, they can stand, sit or even lie down as the performance moves with them. There's plenty for children too, including Strictly Carnival! – an hour of dance-inspired music via at least 25 instruments, and you can bring your own instrument too and play along... As Deborah Roberts says: “We hope that this year's vibrant celebration of dance and the variety of events on offer will encourage people to get involved in the festival.” BREMF, 21 October–6 November. follow me on twitter


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Nik Coppin



COMEDY: BEST OF THE CHORTLE AWARDS The sharpest comedy eyes picked out their favourites and brought them together for one night


he Chortle website ( is a bit of a comedy bible amongst the comedy trade. With the latest news stories, tour announcements and clips on board it has spent years building itself up to be the respected pillar of the comedy establishment Chortle has now become. Chortle’s annual awards recognise the great and the good, the next big things and the still going strong, from all mediums of comedy performance. Not everyone has the same experience, time or dedication to go around the country seeing umpteen comedy shows all year to carefully weigh up who’s the leader in their field and comparing them to the next and the last act on the bill. Luckily for us those lovely folk at Chortle have handpicked some of those Andrew Lawrence acts they recognised at this year’s awards ceremony, and booked them on to a single bill as part of the Brighton Comedy Festival. Making up the bill of stars from the present and the future you’ll find Diane Spencer (Chortle Award Best Newcomer 2011), sketch group Late Night Gimp Fight (Chortle Award Best Character Or Sketch Act 2011), plus this year’s Chortle Student Comedy Award and Brighton local Adam Hess. A diverse mixture of styles and funny bone ticklers, the first two of which have their own hour-long shows on during the Brighton Comedy Festival, in case you fancy a larger bite of their particular comedic pie. Headlining the evening is Andrew Lawrence, nominated for Chortle’s Best Headliner Award 2011 – and if you have a look at the incredible talent headlining shows around the country (or even just in Brighton on a weekend) you have to recognise the quality of performance necessary to be cited as one of the best in the UK. Hosting the entire evening and holding it all together will be CBBC’s Iain Sterling, himself a nominee for 2011’s Best Newcomer gong. It’s all top notch hand-picked quality comedy. See you there. Best Of The Chortle Awards, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 20 October, 9.30pm, £14/12, follow me on twitter


COMEDY: JIMEOIN – LOVELY! With all of these different kinds of comedy flying around it’s great to get hold of just a fabulous stand-up with great stand-up credentials. As seen on Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow, Jason Manford’s Comedy Rocks, Just For Laughs and Best Of Edinburgh Comedy Festival – it’s Jimeoin. Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 21 October, 9.30pm, £14/12

COMEDY: ANDREW O’NEILL – ALTERNATIVE Funny comedy show by the long-haired man (promising to include a short play about gravy), guaranteed to fill you with warmth and impart something you never knew or even thought to consider. Intelligent AND funny. The Old Market, 19 October, 9pm, £12/10 COMEDY: LIVE ’N’ LAUGHING Sketch group The Real MacGuffins are headlining, plus radio presenter and Comedian Max Dickens and more comic support to help celebrate Live ’n’ Laughing’s first birthday. The Brunswick, 19 October, 8pm, £10/6. EVENTS: BRIGHTON NATURAL HEALTH CENTRE BNHC celebrates 30 years of health and well-being with a free open day full of talks, demonstrations, taster

classes and the chance to talk to teachers. The centre holds lifestyle classes in yoga, tai chi, dance, massage and meditation. Brighton Natural Health Centre, 22 October, 2pm - 5pm, free EVENTS: ESTOMPIE! A thrilling blend of ancient, modern and medieval Arabic dance music with contemporary STOMP-style percussion. Join Aideen Gallagher, Emily Askew, Tim Garside and children from Whitehawk and Westdene primary schools as part of the BREMF education project. St George's Church, 18 October, 6pm, £3 EVENTS: RIPPLES SPONSORED WALK Ripples and Hurstpierpoint Colts football club are walking through the beautiful South Downs villages, Hassocks and Clayton for charity Wherever the Need. The funds raised will provide villages in India with Ecosan composting toilets and clean drinking water. Help sponsor the village of Arasur and the£22,000 project. Ripples Showroom, 23 October, 1pm, £5, pre-register by calling 01273 841228 Paradise 9

EVENTS: BRIGHTON BANDS FUNDRAISE TO HELP END CRUELTY TO CHILDREN Guns Akimbo Gandhi, Simonne Weeks and Paradise 9 team up to help raise funds for the NSPCC with a one-off gig. All three bands bring a mixture of influences ranging from Jimi Hendrix, Johnny Cash, Damien Rice, Nick Cave, Patti Smith to Joe Strummer. Brunswick Pub, 20 October, 8pm, £5

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Brighton Belles

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ART: SAM HEWITT Finding inspiration form normal street scenes and via photographs he takes, Hewitt then sets about painting the images he sees on film, but quietly imbues them with unconscious choices – the end result being a world filled with shadows, and plenty of light and shade. Sam Hewitt, Pelham House, St Andrews Lane, Lewes, 01273 488600. Until 15 November ART: EROTICA Sub-titled ‘A Sexual Adventure of Erotic Frivolity’, this exhibition features the work of Manuel Ortega, James Hunting, Lucy Porter, Peter Jarrette and the extraordinary work of Cornwall’s Swallow and Bone-Illuminating erotica!

Erotica, Naked Eye Gallery, 5 Farm Mews, Brighton, 01273 204000. Until 31 October


FILM: CONTAGION (12A) Director: Steven Soderbergh


FILM: MONTE CARLO (PG) Dir: Tom Bezucha Leighton Meester’s got an odd film career path – first award-fodder Country Strong and then this frothy teen comedy. Most eclectic. Anyway, she’s not the star here, Selena Gomez is, as she and her two pals are holidaying in Europe and discover an uncanny resemblance between our Disney queen and a spoilt British heiress. Cue life swap hilarity! Read our interview with Selena Gomez p18. Released 21 October Showing at Odeon and Cineworld For full details of film times:

ust what you need at the beginning of cold season; a starstudded blockbuster about a lethal airborne virus unleashed upon the world, virulently travelling at greater speed around the world than a travelling airplane salesman with a lusty greed for airmiles. Starring Gwyneth Paltrow as a lady with a bug, who hugs her child, who travels to school, who plays with friends, who go home to their parents... you get the gist. Also starring Kate Winslet and Laurence Fishburne as incredibly busy doctors, fighting against worldwide panic and a frantic response post horse-bolting time, they desperately try to find some kind of understanding of the biological attack they are under. So, you’ve got the bigger picture with the drama of government and medical responses, but parallel to this is also the depiction of how the devastation affects the regular people of the world. Bearing in mind that Steven Soderbergh was also responsible for the rather nifty multi-layered Traffic a few years ago, this ensemble piece has all the ingredients of a class cinematic treat. Also starring Jude Law and Matt Damon. Released 21 October Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Listings Send your stage listings to: Send your comedy listings to: Send your events listings to: Send your arts listings to: Send your music listings to: Send your club listings to: Send your gay listings to:

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STARS With Val Aviv

HARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20} You’re in the mood to push things forward and you’re comfortable to take the reigns so long as you stay true to your beliefs. Finances are on the up as others start to show support for your loyalty.

HTAURUS {Apr 21–May 21} While you may have negated your desires to obtain your true goals out of an obligation or cause, you may be feeling a little martyred out. Giving into one final push is fine but the real you will soon surface.

HGEMINI {May 22–June 21} The daily grind is taking on a special significance as your inquisitive ruler Mercury seeks to get to the bottom of every mystery while trailing through the obsessive waters of Scorpio. You’ll have a reasonable amount of fun with the best yet to come.

HCANCER {June 22–July 22} Midweek breakthroughs come with regards to finances and work. On the one hand you’re making excellent progress, but it could be thwarted because of your leaning towards taking something that’s a passing obsession too seriously.

HLEO {July 23–Aug 22} Your bravado may not have the same effect as it usually does this week with partners and colleagues being slightly under whelmed and hard to flatter; don’t take it personally. Think BIG at work to get the most out of your sharp cunning.

HVIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22} You may find yourself angry about things but not really know why. Is this a cosmic joke or a universal lesson in anger management? You have been quietly hoping for more than you appear to be receiving.

HLIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22} Why do your friends have to give you so much agro, when you’ve been nothing but kind, fair and patient? With your dislke of discordant rivalry you may not find it easy to resolve issues. Just be sure not to over react.

HSCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21} You’re not one to shy away from a confrontation, even though you loath to express your dark side. You are now have more than emotional intelligence. Logic and grace will get you out of tight corners without the need to upset anyone.

HSAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20} Bring all that sunshine to work and become the most precious asset. The only way to get through the throws of working life will be to keep your eye on the prize and remember why you are doing what you are.

HCAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19} Every Capricorn craves a certain level of material comfort. Is the present all you dreamed it would be? Perhaps it doesn’t quite hit the mark but you are closer than you think. How you value yourself can directly impact the way others value you.

HAQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19} You may consider yourself a deep brooding thinker, but the merit you receive will largely depend upon your attitude. It’s not mans intelligence which defines him, but rather what he intends to do with it.

HPISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20} You are beginning to notice the need for a more efficient system of organisation, of both your time and your work. You could be pushing yourself too hard, don’t try and get recognition for your work. Just do a good job then recognition will follow. Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at:

L7 TV Your weekly TV guide 818 – 24 OCTOBER I’m not going to say who is the perpetrator or receiver of the slap, as the drama progresses like a well-written episode of emotional Casualty. Potential personal explosions and land mines are scattered around the party like Fisher Price at a With Victoria Nangle toddler’s celebrations. It could be any one of a number of alliances and uneasy friendships that spark off The Slap. You may want to give one or two yourself. Which brings me back to Hector. Well acted, well drawn, flawed and familiar. It’s his tone that dips in with snippets of information from voiceoverhere’s something quite stomach-churning land. That intimacy with a man so cut off – an about watching a well-written drama, wellhonesty that he may not be happy with everyone acted and thought-provoking, as told in the knowing, sits uncomfortably with me as his eyes first person by a character that you don’t like. This cover the young girl, as he lashes out at his strong is what I found when I watched the first episode of wife, and acts out an awkward relationship with this eight-part adaptation of the bestselling novel his own children. This discomfort is possibly The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas. paramount to understanding An Australian adaptation the dynamics between the with a pretty star-studded characters, and promises “ mines are cast featuring Jonathan much for the next seven scattered around LaPaglia from Cold Case, episodes as the fallout Sophie Okonedo from Hotel progresses. These are not like Fisher Price at a Rwanda, Melissa George from perfect people. Grey’s Anatomy, and Alex Raising issues of race, toddler’s celebrations” Dimitriades from Neighbours class, sexuality, the rights of (plus Heartbreak High, which children, and the different was a distraction as I tried to place him), this initial perspectives of men and women – this drama has a opening episode sets the scene for the following lot on its shoulders. It doesn’t seem to flinch from seven and is told from the perspective of LaPaglia’s this though, if the opener is anything to go by. Hector. Hector is having a 40th birthday party and Understated, with a confidence in the skills of its is feeling old, spurred on by a kiss from his players and contributors, this doesn’t promise easy children’s confused babysitter, as well as weak in viewing but does offer a quiet quality and the face of his matriarchal Greek mother and nonbelievability not pandering to likeability. Interesting. Greek wife needing different things from him. The Intriguing. I must get past needing to like my key party is in the form of a daytime barbecue, with drama players. friends and family from different walks of life The Slap, BBC4, Coming Soon coming together and bringing their children to toast follow me on twitter latestvicky a slightly belligerent Hector.

Telly Talk

Smash hits T

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tuesday 18 The Kid’s Speech BBC1, 10.35pm One of those touching and uplifting documentaries that can set you up for the week well. It tells of three children who live with a stammer and their journey, along with their parents, when they embark upon an intensive course at the Michael Palin Centre For Stammering Children. Bless the kiddies.

True Blood Channel 4, 11.15pm Right, so Sookie’s now the prisoner of the King of Mississippi, which means he’s got no use for Bill now. Bye Bill! Yup, Lorena is ordered to kill Bill. It hasn’t happened in a while. Back in Bon Temps Sam is trying to help out his younger brother Tommy, but it’s not so easy to just pick the family you like. Folks, eh?

Models, Misfits & Mayhem ITV2, 10pm We all love watching beautiful people (or so commissioning editors would have us believe), so this concept following a fresh batch of hopefuls at London School of Modelling should be bang on the ratings mark. Will their posing be up to scratch? Will tantrums win the day? Will anyone learn anything?


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Dirty Tricks Of The Tradesmen 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Celebrity MasterChef 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Barney’s Latin America 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Hotel Trubble 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 – 8.50am Children’s television 8.50 Dirtgirlworld 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Charlie And Lola 9.45 Mister Maker 10.05 I Can Cook 10.25 Louie 10.30 Baby Jake 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The Pink Panther Show 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Diagnosis Murder 1.45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, with Zoe Bal. 7.00 Britain’s Biggest Book Prize: A Village Decides (Again) Tim Samuels visits the village of Comrie and asks the locals for their verdict on this year’s Booker Prize shortlist. 7.30 Escape To The Country Aled Jones is helping a couple from Wimbledon escape the suburbs for countryside living in East Sussex. 8.00 Coast Coast ventures to the storm-battered Atlantic shore of Ireland’s majestic northwest coast. 9.00 This World: Spain’s Stolen Babies International investigative documentary series. Spain is reeling from an avalanche of allegations of baby theft and baby trafficking. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Jools welcomes singersongwriter Feist, as well as Bon Iver, metal band Mastodon, Frenchman Ben L’Oncle Soul, lounge lizard Buddy Greco, and Lianne La Havas. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 RTS Huw Wheldon Lecture 2011 With Bettany Hughes: TV – Modern Father Of History Bettany Hughes uses the 2011 Huw Wheldon Memorial Lecture to argue that history on television is thriving and enjoying a new golden age. 12.00am Damages 12.45 BBC News 4.00 Class Clips (x2)

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 There’s No Taste Like Home 5.00 The Chase

6.20 – 7.00am Children’s telvision 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.00pm News 12.05 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 1.10 BT And Channel 4 Present: Nathan Stephens’ The Sharp End 1.15 Baking Mad With Eric Lanlard 1.45 FILM: Comanche Station (1960) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal Live 5.00 Celebrity Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me: Return Of The Worst 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The events of the wedding leave some of the guests riddled with guilt. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow: Get The Look For Less Gok helps three nurses in Southampton put together two fantastic looks, each one costing £50 and £250. The Roadtesters take to the river to sort out the best high street blazers. 9.00 Mary Queen Of Frocks As the doors finally open at Mary’s shop at House of Fraser, the saviour of service is all too aware that her critics are ready to pass judgement on every last detail. 10.00 Shameless Gritty comedy drama series set on a Manchester estate. Mimi might wear the trousers in the family, but it’s time Billy pulled his weight, so Mimi sets a profitable challenge to test his manhood. 11.10 Random Acts 11.15 True Blood See highlights. 12.30am UK And Ireland Poker Tour 1.25 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 1.50 FIVB World Beach Volleyball Championship 2.45 KOTV Boxing 3.10 Cooper Tyres British F3 International Series 3.40 FIM Superbike World Championship 4.05 That Paralympic Show 4.30 The British Gas Great Swim 5.25 Grudge Match 5.40 The TV Book Club

6.00 – 7.25am Children’s television 7.25 Thomas & Friends 7.40 Noddy In Toyland 7.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Miami 3.15 FILM: Picking Up And Dropping Off (2003) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Irene asks April to keep quiet when she finds out about her diagnosis. 6.25 OK! TV Lively mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Real Food Family Cook Off The search is on for the country’s best home cooks. In this semi-final in London’s Kensington Gardens, Siobhan’s ‘Box of Frogs’ team takes on Filipa’s ‘Gourmet K’ crew. Tasty! 8.00 Superior Interiors With Kelly Hoppen New makeover show featuring South African-born Kelly Hoppen. In north London, Kelly helps a sophisticated woman who has outgrown her flat’s colour scheme. 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. Things get personal for Caine as he confronts his old adversary Memmo Fierro - a heavily tattooed killer who murdered Caine’s wife. Testosterone! 10.00 Big Brother Coverage of all the latest goings-on from inside the Big Brother house. 11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brotherrelated news and debate. 12.00am Ultimate Police Interceptors 12.50 Inside Hollywood 1.00 SuperCasino 3.55 County Secrets 4.05 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2) 4.55 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 HouseBusters 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Barclays Premier League Review 10.00 Irish League Football 11.30 Soccer AM The Best Bits 12.30pm Netbusters 1.00 SPL RoundUp 1.30 Barclays Premier League Review 2.30 Irish League Football 4.00 Netbusters 4.30 Barclays Premier League Review 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Gilette Soccer Special 10.30 Football Asia 11.00 A League Of Their Own 12.00am Football’s Greatest 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Football’s Greatest 3.30 Champions League Goals 4.30 Revista De La Liga 5.30 Football Asia

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show. 7.30 EastEnders After hatching a plan to wind up Ian, Mandy takes great delight in punishing him for his paranoid accusations. 8.00 Holby City After the public exposure of the plastics scandal, Hanssen is faced with the consequences of Michael and Sunil’s actions. With his job on the line, can Hanssen prove to Sir Fraser that the hospital still has potential to achieve FT status? 9.00 The Body Farm Crime drama series. The team are called in to investigate the death of Ray Quinn, who was killed in what looks like a robbery at a classic car garage. Isn’t that the name of that kid off of X Factor a while back? Thought he was in Grease in the West End... 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Kid’s Speech See highlights. 11.25 Cherry’s Parenting Dilemmas Cherry Healey may be a proud new mum, but she is facing a battle of wills with her daughter. 12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: Village SOS 1.30 History Cold Case 2.30 Reel History Of Britain 3.00 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Zak is deeply ashamed of Cain’s actions. A Dingle knowing shame? Surely not! 7.30 Mayday Mayday Documentary series. A group watching the Bournemouth air show from a cruise boat gets into difficulties when the weather turns nasty, and the captain has to call in the local lifeboat crew. 8.00 High Stakes Jeremy Kyle presents the new game show in which contestants try to win money by successfully navigating the grid. 9.00 71 Degrees North Charlotte Jackson and Paddy McGuinness present the extreme celebrity adventure competition. In this episode, it is a case of the tortoise against the hare as the remaining celebrities race, one team on cross country skis and the other on snowmobiles. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 DCI Banks Detective drama series. DCI Banks is drawn into the criminal underworld of Soho when he reluctantly accepts an unofficial request from Chief Superintendent Rydell to find Rydell’s missing daughter. 11.35 Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey Another chance to catch the first episode. 12.30am The Zone 3.05 Heist 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Kings Of The Extreme 6.30 WWE Afterburn 7.30 Cricket Titans Of Cricket 9.00 India V England ODI Cricket 11.00 Trilby Golf Tour 12.30pm Cricket Titans Of Cricket 2.00 India V England ODI Cricket 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All - International Tries 4.30 Golf 5.30 European Seniors Tour Golf 6.30 Golf Challenge Series 2011 7.00 LIVE UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am International Bowls

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Golf Ryder Cup Legacy 7.00 Trilby Golf Tour 8.30 European Tour Golf 9.30 PGA Tour Golf 10.30 Golf Ryder Cup Legacy 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 1.00 Boots ‘n’ All – International Tries 1.30 Great Run Series 2.00 International Bowls 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 International Bowls 8.00 Golf 9.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 12.00am Golfing World 1.00 Golf Challenge Series 2011 1.30 Golf 2.30 Mixed Martial Arts Cage Contender

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm My Pet Shame 1.00 The Lion Man (x2) 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Road Wars 6.00 Airline 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Matthew Morrison Live At The Hammersmith Apollo 9.00 Inside Gatwick 10.00 FILM: Enemy Of The State (1998) 12.30am 35mm 1.00 Road Wars

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride (x2) 9.00 Up For Hire Live 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Wilfred 10.50 Family Guy (x2) 11.35 American Dad! (x2) 12.20am Up For Hire 1.20 Wilfred 1.40 Don’t Tell The Bride (x2) 3.40 Junior Doctors: One Year Check Up 4.40 The Real Hustle: New Recruits

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Return To Pembrokeshire Farm 8.00 Britain’s Best Drives 8.30 Regimental Stories 9.00 Kennedy Home Movies 10.00 The Kennedys: A Culture Show Special 11.00 JFK: The Making Of Modern Politics 12.00am Regimental Stories

4.35pm Loose Women 5.30 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 7.00 The X Factor Results 8.00 Minute To Win It 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 Models, Misfits & Mayhem. See highlights. 11.00 Celebrity Juice: Soap Special 11.45 FILM: Inside Man (2006) 2.10am Emmerdale

10.55am Murder, She Wrote: A Story To Die For 12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 The House Of Eliott 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Monk 5.00 On The Buses 5.35 Heartbeat 6.40 The House Of Eliott 7.50 Wycliffe 9.00 Taggart 10.00 The Jury 11.00 Trial And Retribution 12.40am Numb3rs (x2)

3.35pm Glee 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Made In Chelsea 9.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 10.00 The Cleveland Show (x2) 11.05 Shameless 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2) 1.05 Scrubs (x2)

4.40pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Come Dine With Me: Rugby World Cup Special 10.00 True Stories: Dolphin Boy 11.45 Come Dine With Me: Rugby World Cup Special 12.50am True Stories: Dolphin Boy

11.00am Blood Alley (1955) 1.15pm The Law And Jake Wade (1958) 3.00 Blithe Spirit (1945) 4.55 Operation Crossbow (1965) 7.10 Son Of The Mask (2005) 9.00 All About My Mother (1999) 11.00 Bad Education (2004) 1.05am Internal Affairs (1990)


.TV If you want to join us to make a TV channel for Brighton on terrestrial TV come to Latest Musicbar. 5.30pm Mondays

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wednesday 19 Britain’s Child Beggars BBC1, 9pm Lifting the lid on a horrible truth, Panorama investigates the truth about children begging in Britain’s streets. Kids as young as four are out begging for hours, earning hundreds of pounds a day. Reporter John Sweeney tracks down the gangs behind it all to their luxury homes in Romania to confront the adults.

Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman BBC1, 11.20pm It’s back, your weekly reminder as to what flicks are hitting the cineplexes this weekend, hosted by the kohl-rimmed smiler and co-host Danny Leigh. They kick off the new series with a look at Steven Soderbergh’s Contagion, plus We Need To Talk About Kevin and Tintin.

Film: Volver Film4, 9pm An Oscar-winning Spanishlanguage drama starring Penelope Cruz as a woman trying to hold her family together after the impact of her mother’s death is compounded when her abusive husband is killed by her daughter. There’s also the little fact that her aunt doesn’t believe in the first death. Beautifully played.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Dirty Tricks Of The Tradesmen 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Celebrity MasterChef 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Barney’s Latin America 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Hotel Trubble 4.30 Serious Explorers: Raleigh 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Trapped 8.30 Mr Bloom’s Nursery 8.50 Dirtgirlworld 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Charlie And Lola 9.45 Mister Maker 10.05 I Can Cook 10.20 Louie 10.25 Baby Jake 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Lifeline 1.40 Coast 1.45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, with Zoe Ball. 7.00 A History Of Ancient Britain Continuing his epic story, Neil Oliver explores the remains of brutal Iron Age battles and Celtic rebellion. 8.00 All Roads Lead Home Stephen Mangan, Sue Perkins and Alison Steadman ditch their maps and attempt to travel the UK using nature as their guide. 9.00 Faster Than The Speed Of Light? In September 2011, an international group of scientists made an astonishing claim – they had detected particles that seemed to travel faster than the speed of light. Way to rock the boat! 10.00 Rab C Nesbitt Comedy. Jamesie’s philandering has finally got him into big trouble and he’s about to become a father. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Lions – New Zealand 1971 In the year of the Rugby World Cup to be played on All Black territory, Eddie Butler tells the story of the victorious Lions tour of New Zealand in 1971. 12.20am Damages 1.00 BBC News 4.00 Bitesize: Art 4.30 Class Clips: Creative And Media – Art And Design 5.30 Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland: Behind The Scenes With The Royal Ballet

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 There’s No Taste Like Home 5.00 The Chase

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 1.05 River Cottage Bites 1.15 FILM: Panic In The Streets (1950) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal Live 5.00 Celebrity Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me: Return Of The Worst 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Amy decides to move to New York with Lee, but Ste presumes the kids will be staying in Hollyoaks - how can Amy break the news to him? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain Series in which Kirstie Allsopp travels Britain, visiting some of the finest county and agricultural fairs. She begins at the Devon County Show, where she creates baked goods for the Afternoon Tea competition. 9.00 Grand Designs Property series with Kevin McCloud. In Cornwall, stonemason Adam Purchase attempts to convert a historic Grade II listed engine house into a place to live. 10.00 Fresh Meat Comedy drama series about student life. Vod and Oregon’s friendship is threatened when Vod discovers Oregon is secretly having an affair with Shales. 10.50 Shameless Repeat of yesterday’s episode. 11.55 Random Acts 12.00am MUSIC ON 4: On Track With Seat 12.30 The Album Chart Show Spotlight 12.45 The Album Chart Show Introduces... Joe Jonas 1.00 4Play: Slow Club 1.15 Momma’s Boy 1.35 Without A Trace 2.20 Laid Off 2.35 FILM: The History Of Mr Polly (1949) 4.10 Catastrophe 5.05 Countdown 5.40 The TV Book Club

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.25 Thomas & Friends 7.40 Noddy In Toyland 7.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Miami 3.10 FILM: It Had To Be You (2000) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away As Sid prepares to meet his long-lost daughter Sasha, a call from the hospital means he has to reschedule, leaving her unimpressed. 6.25 OK! TV A lively mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series. A man is injured on a perilous ridge leading to Ben Nevis. 8.00 Dangerous Drivers’ School Documentary series following three driving instructors as they attempt to teach the rules of the road to novice drivers. 9.00 Paul Merton’s Adventures Documentary series. Paul jumps aboard the biggest cruise ship in the world for a tour of the Caribbean, where he hitches a ride with the Jamaican dogsled team, gets lost on a reef in Mexico and is attacked by a tiger. Say what?!! 10.00 Big Brother Coverage of all the latest goings-on from BB. 11.00 Impossible? Magic-themed gameshow fronted by illusionist Philip Escoffey. 12.00am Five VOD Pokerstars: The Big Game 12.55 SuperCasino 4.00 The Family Recipe 4.05 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2) 4.55 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 HouseBusters 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 9.00 Champions League Goals 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Champions League Goals 12.30pm Revista De La Liga 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Champions League Goals 3.00 Revista De La Liga 4.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 You’re On Sky Sports 2.30 Football’s Greatest 3.00 Champions League Goals 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 Football’s Greatest 5.00 Champions League Goals

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be here. 7.30 Waterloo Road School-based drama. Bad boy Tariq Siddiqui’s efforts to turn over a new leaf are short-lived when he discovers that his sister is secretly dating Finn Sharkey. 8.30 Planet Dinosaur The final episode of the documentary series explores dinosaurs’ extraordinary ability to survive. Featured dinosaurs include the bizarre magyarsaurus, which lived in the shadow of the biggest flying animal - hatzegopteryx - and showed an amazing adaptation to island life; and the weird nothronychus, a carnivore that gave up meat eating. Bizarre! 9.00 Britain’s Child Beggars See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 10.45 Ask Rhod Gilbert Angela Rippon, Amanda Byram and Sarah Millican join Rhod Gilbert, Greg Davies and Lloyd Langford in the comedic search for answers. 11.20 Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman See highlights. 12.00am FILM: Movern Callar (2002) 1.35 Weatherview 1.40 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.10 Watchdog 3.10 Made In Britain 4.10 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie tries to remain hopeful about Sarah’s results. Laurel is rocked when Sandy confronts her about Marlon. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Marseille V Arsenal Adrian Chiles presents Arsenal’s big Champions League test against Olympic Marseille at the Stade Velodrome. The loss of Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri in August as well as a run of four defeats in seven Premier League games has made this the toughest time for Arsene Wenger in his 15 years at the club. It promises to be another tricky night for the Gunners against a Marseille team that tops Group F and has won both its opening games in the Champions League. Analysis by Gareth Southgate with commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time Matt Smith rounds up all the Champions League action from Tuesday and Wednesday night. 11.35 Ladette To Lady The transformation of a group of raucous Aussie ladettes into demure ladies continues at the hands of the staff at Eggleston Hall. 12.30am The Zone 2.35 FILM: The Four Musketeers (1974) 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Surf 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 11.00 Golf Challenge Series 2011 11.30 Golf 12.30pm European Seniors Tour Golf 1.30 Golf Challenge Series 2011 2.00 Kings Of The Extreme 2.30 Golf 3.30 Golf Challenge Series 2011 4.00 Football Asia 4.30 NFL – Total Access 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 UEFA Champions League Pre-Game Show 7.30 LIVE UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 Watersports World 12.00am International Cricket 2.00 NFL – Total Access

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Cycling Sports World 9.00 International Bowls 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Cycling Sports World 1.30 LIVE International Cricket 9.30 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 1.00am Asian Tour Golf Show 1.30 Inside The PGA Tour 2.00 Champions Tour Golf 3.00 European Tour Weekly 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 Trans World Sport

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm My Pet Shame 1.00 The Lion Man (x2) 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Glee Project 6.00 Airline 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Middle 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Trollied (x2) 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Strike Back: Project Dawn 12.00am Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride (x2) 9.00 Up For Hire Live 10.00 The Fades 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Up For Hire 1.30 The Fades 2.30 Don’t Tell The Bride (x2) 4.25 Bizarre ER (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Modern Age Of Coach Travel 8.30 Timothy Spall: Somewhere At Sea 9.00 Holy Flying Circus 10.30 Friday Night, Saturday Morning 11.35 Dear Censor: The Secret Archive Of The British Board Of Film Classification Timeshift 12.35am FILM: Il Divo (2008)

4.40pm Loose Women 5.35 Judge Judy 6.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 6.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 Peter Andre: My Life 10.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.45 FILM: The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) 1.00am Emmerdale 1.30 The Vampire Diaries (x2)

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 The House Of Eliott 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Monk 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 The House Of Eliott 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 The Jury 11.00 Trial And Retribution 12.35am Ironside 1.25 Duty Free 1.55 Numb3rs 2.35 ITV3 Nightscreen

12.10pm Greek 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Glee 4.30 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 FILM: Independence Day (1996) 10.45 FILM: Run, Fat Boy, Run (2007) 12.45am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

3.05pm Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Time Team Special 11.05 Camelot 12.10am Time Team 1.10 Time Team Special

11.00am Warlock (1959) 1.20pm Operation Pacific (1951) 3.35 Doctor Dolittle (1967) 6.20 Phantom Of The Opera (2004) 9.00 Volver (2005). See highlights. 11.15 Talk To Her (2002) 1.30am Little Fish (2005)



Brighton Lights 31

Award-winning compere, heart of Krater Comedy and Brightonian Stephen Grant tells us all about his forthcoming show for the Brighton Comedy Festival

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thursday 20 Eddie Izzard – Didn’t We Fix Famine?: Tonight ITV1, 7.30pm Apparently 30,000 children are already dead in the Horn of Africa, and Eddie Izzard is coming face to face with the first famine in a generation. Yet Britons appear to be suffering from compassion fatigue as appeal targets are no longer being met and faith in aid is trickling away.

Hidden BBC1, 9pm The conspiracy thriller continues, and everyone is still dead chuffed to see Gene from Life On Mars back on the telly. Yay! But back to business, he’s now Harry and in deep doo-doo as he returns from Paris to try and work out who he can trust. So he heads back to where all the trouble started twenty years ago. Blimey.

Holy Flying Circus BBC4, 11.30pm This was actually premiered last night but in case you missed it, here is another hance to catch the much anticipated reimagining of the build up to the release of Monty Python’s Life Of Brian. Made quite a splash in 1979 and opened up all manner of discussions as to what was a matter for comedy. Coolio.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Dirty Tricks Of The Tradesmen 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Celebrity MasterChef 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Barney’s Latin America 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be talked about on the One Show. 7.30 EastEnders Pat encourages Whitney to face her fears and stand up for herself, but things take an unexpected twist when she takes Pat’s advice. 8.00 Watchdog How much does your bank account cost you? Watchdog takes a look at how you could be paying hundreds of pounds more than you should, for current account ‘extras’ you do not need. 9.00 Hidden Conspiracy thriller. See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the debate from Glasgow, with a panel including US film-maker Michael Moore, Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander and Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil, with Michael Portillo and guests. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: The Great Fuel Robbery – Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.55 Antiques Roadshow 2.55 Reel History Of Britain 3.25 BBC News

6.00 – 8.50am Children’s television 8.50 Dirtgirlworld 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Charlie And Lola 9.45 Mister Maker 10.05 I Can Cook 10.25 Louie 10.30 Baby Jake 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The Pink Panther Show 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Diagnosis Murder 1.45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, with Zoe Ball. 7.00 A History Of Ancient Britain Neil Oliver completes his epic journey through thousands of years of ancient history with the modern marvels of Rome. Digging beneath a London tower block, discovering building work from a massive stadium. Perhaps for some expensive Games? 8.00 The Great British Bake Off Revisited One year later, this programme reflects on the highlights from series one. 9.00 Mixed Britannia In the last of this three-part series, George Alagiah tells the story of couples facing violence on the streets during the 70s, how adoption became a battleground and how mixed race became one of Britain’s fastest growing ethnic groups. 10.00 Mock The Week Again Two teams of comedians taking a satirical swipe at the news and world events. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Burnistoun Sketch show set in a fictional Scottish location. 11.50 Women! French comedy sketch show. 12.15am Damages 12.55 BBC News 4.00 Art And Design 5.00 The Designed World

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 There’s No Taste Like Home 5.00 The Chase

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 The Hoobs 7.05 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 How To Look Good Naked 11.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The Restoration Man 1.05 BT And Channel 4 Present... 1.10 River Cottage Bites 1.25 FILM: The Hound Of The Baskervilles (1959) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal Live 5.00 Celebrity Coach Trip 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ash enjoys a quickie with an unlikely lothario. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare Series in which Sarah Beeny tries to save Yorkshire stately home Rise Hall. Her husband Graham creates a replacement for a stolen fire surround and uncovers some hidden decorative treasures. 9.00 Educating Essex Series following a group of GCSE students and the staff who teach them. Carrie and Ashleigh are at the heart of the biggest and loudest clique in school, and they love clothes, boys and parties. But teenage girls also love a drama and the best friends fall out. 10.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon travels to Newbury Park in Southern California to help Mexican restaurant Mama Ritas. 11.05 Random Acts 11.10 The Secret Millionaire Series in which millionaires go undercover in a deprived area. 12.10am BT And Channel 4 Present... 12.15 The Vue Film Show 12.45 MUSIC ON 4: Professor Green Unseen 1.15 4Play: T.E.E.D. 1.30 Embarrassing Bodies 2.25 Southland 3.10 Accidentally On Purpose 3.35 Unreported World 4.00 Catastrophe 4.55 Countdown 5.45 TV Book Club

6.00 – 6.35am Children’s television 6.35 Elmo’s World 6.50 Peppa Pig 6.55 Little Princess 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.25 Thomas & Friends 7.40 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Miami 3.15 FILM: Out Of The Woods (2005) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Xavier starts to think he might be missing home. Sasha goes looking for a job and flirts openly with Romeo when he mentions Marilyn might have some hairdressing work. But later she is devastated when he is properly introduced to her as Indi’s husband. ‘Devastrated’ is a strong response to social embarassment, really. 6.25 OK! TV A lively mix of celebrity gossip, big name interviews and features. Jeff Brazier and Jenny Frost bring you the latest Big Brother gossip and the best showbiz stories. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Europa League Football Europa League football action from the latest round of this year’s competition. 10.15 Big Brother Coverage of all the latest goings-on from inside the Big Brother house. 11.15 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brotherrelated news and debate, with special guests, exclusive footage and behind the scenes treats. 12.15am SuperCasino Live interactive gaming featuring roulette, blackjack and autowheel. For more information and to register visit 4.00 The Family Recipe 4.05 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.30 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 4.55 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 HouseBusters 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football’s Greatest 9.30 LIVE India V England ODI Cricket 6.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Premier League Snooker 11.00 The Rugby Club 12.00am India V England ODI Cricket 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 The Rugby Club 3.30 India V England ODI Cricket 5.30 Barclays Premier League World

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Laurel insists that Sandy has got the wrong idea. 7.30 Eddie Izzard - Didn’t We Fix Famine?: Tonight See highlights. 8.00 Emmerdale Cain decides to teach Amy a lesson. 8.30 Coronation Street Eileen’s anger turns to hurt when she is confronted with the truth. Sally refuses to listen to Carla’s warning about Frank. 9.00 Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey Joanna Lumley’s extraordinary journey continues with the second episode. She travels across the northernmost regions of the country, from Corfu to the turbulent eastern border Greece shares with Turkey and Bulgaria. This frontierland is a region in which foreign invasion and occupation have left a fascinating legacy. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan is joined by comedian David Walliams, crooner Michael Buble and Hollywood funnyman Seth Rogen. Repeat of last weekend’s show. 11.35 The Last Word A look at some of the big stories in the region with MPs and other prominent figures. 12.00am 71 Degrees North 12.55 The Zone 3.00 British Touring Car Championship Highlights 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Extreme 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 European Tour Weekly 8.30 Inside The PGA Tour 9.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Champions League Goals 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 7.00 Sailing America’s Cup Uncovered 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 India V England ODI Cricket 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 WWE Late Night Raw 1.00am WWE NXT 2.00 Racemax 3.00 Ringside

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Asian Tour Golf Show 7.00 International Cricket 9.00 Champions League Goals 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Aerobics Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm British Crown Green Bowls 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Champions Tour Golf 3.00 British Crown Green Bowls 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Ringside 7.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 10.00 European Tour Golf 12.00am Ringside 1.00 PGA Tour Golf Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








1.00pm The Lion Man (x2) 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Glee Project 6.00 Airline 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Diversity Live: The Diversitoys Tour 10.00 House 11.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 12.00am Law And Order

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride: The Vegas Wedding 9.00 Up For Hire Live 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Up For Hire Live 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Up For Hire (x2) 2.00 Don’t Tell The Bride: The Vegas Wedding 3.00 Wilfred 3.20 Jono: Finding My Family On Facebook

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Top Of The Pops: 1976 8.00 Kennedy Home Movies 9.00 Shock And Awe: The Story Of Electricity 10.00 The Secret Life Of The National Grid 11.00 Top Of The Pops: 1976 11.30 Holy Flying Circus. See highlights. 1.00am FILM: Wallander: One Step Behind (2008)

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of New York City 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Minute To Win It 8.00 Simon Cowell Uncut: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 9.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.45 FILM: Batman (1989) 1.20am Coronation Street

11.05am Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle 12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 The House Of Eliott 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Monk 5.05 On The Buses 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 The House Of Eliott 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 Taggart 10.00 The Jury 11.05 Trial And Retribution 12.40am FILM: Amazing Grace (2006)

6.00pm The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 Perfect Couples 9.00 How I Met Your Mother 9.30 Happy Endings 10.00 The Inbetweeners (x2) 11.10 Show And Tell 11.55 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night 12.50am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

1.30pm The Good Wife 2.30 Come Dine With Me 3.05 Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Southland 10.00 The Closer 11.00 The Killing 12.00am Southland 12.55 The Closer

11.00am L’Avventura (1960) 1.40pm The Lady Vanishes (1979) 3.35 Broken Arrow (1950) 5.20 The Colditz Story (1954) 7.10 Clueless (1995) 9.00 The Illusionist (2006) 11.05 Underworld: Evolution (2006) 1.05am The Libertine 2004)



Brighton Lights 31

Brighton’s full of amazing properties and this might just be the best one we’ve come across. Check it out on Brighton Lights

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friday 21 QI BBC2, 10pm It’s awfully clever this, and laugh out loud funny on occasion too. Tonight the brains that will be sharing their factual and humorous content are the current Radio 4 favourite for panel games Sue Perkins, abstract thinking folks’ favourite Ross Noble and that professional clever clogs Professor Brian Cox. Charming.

The Graham Norton Show BBC1, 10.35pm A brand new series – what fun! The sparky comic host returns with fabulous guests to start the new season – but of course! These are Oscar-winner Kate Winslet talking about her new flick Contagion, comedian Rob Brydon, Billy Elliott star Jamie Bell chatting about being Tintin, and Noah And The Whale. Lush.

Agatha Christie’s Poirot ITV3, 7.55pm The little grey cells... have run out. If you’ve got that Friday feeling where lifting a finger is a bit too challenging then sink into your favourite recliner and let Hercule Poirot put the world to rights in a simpler existence of right and wrong and the magic of moustache wax. Hastings looks for a car but finds murder. Blow!


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Dirty Tricks Of The Tradesmen 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Celebrity MasterChef 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Barney’s Latin America 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Dick & Dom Go Wild 4.30 Planet Dinosaur Files 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Cooking Nigel Slater unravels the magic behind the combination of sugar and spice. 8.00 EastEnders It is party time at the Moons’, but will Tyler’s efforts to attract Whitney’s attention work? 8.30 Celebrity MasterChef A chance to catch up with the final week of Celebrity MasterChef 2011. 9.00 Have I Got News For You Popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Alexander Armstrong and guest panellists including Louise Mench. 9.30 Would I Lie To You? Rob Brydon hosts the comedy panel show, with team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack joined by Mackenzie Crook and Chris Packham, Victoria Coren and Rhod Gilbert. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show See highlights. 11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 11.30 FILM: Fallen (1998) Starring Denzel Washington, John Goodman. Supernatural thriller. 1.30am Weatherview 1.35 Sign Zone: Question Time 2.35 TOWN With Nicholas Crane 3.35 News


6.00 – 8.50am Children’s television 8.50 Dirtgirlworld 9.05 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Charlie And Lola 9.45 Mister Maker 10.05 I Can Cook 10.25 Louie 10.30 Baby Jake 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The Pink Panther Show 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Diagnosis Murder 1.45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Live daily dose of backstage gossip, with Zoe Ball. 7.00 The Culture Show Andrew Graham-Dixon presents the weekly arts magazine show, including an interview with Sofie Grabol, star of cult Danish detective series The Killing. Where did she get those jumpers?! 8.00 Gardeners’ World With autumn well under way, some plants in the garden need to be brought in under cover. Monty Don makes a start by insulating his greenhouse. 8.30 Autumnwatch Live Michaela Strachan joins Chris Packham and Martin Hughes-Games for an eightweek celebration of the UK’s wildlife. 9.30 Autumnwatch Unsprung Audience-led informal live discussion and debate show after the main Autumnwatch programme. 10.00 QI See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.00 The Review Show A special Review Show covering all the hot tickets from this week’s London Film Festival. 11.50 Later... With Jools Holland Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.55am FILM: Mojo (1997) 2.20 The Culture Show


6.00am Daybreak 8.15 Rugby World Cup 2011: 3rd & 4th Place Play-Off 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 There’s No Taste Like Home 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cameron and Carl make amends with Ali. Ahh. 7.30 Coronation Street Eileen is left stunned by the reality of Paul’s life. Fiz contemplates life without Hope. 8.00 Wild Britain With Ray Mears Ray is off to the Pembrokeshire coast to visit the uninhabited island of Skomer. Because of the absence of mammal predators, this is a haven for thousands of seabirds. Send the seagulls there! 8.30 Coronation Street Rosie remains blissfully unaware of the danger lurking in the shadows. Rosie is blissfully unaware of most things. 9.00 DCI Banks Conclusion of a twopart story. With the discovery of the body in the nightclub, Banks finds himself at the heart of a murder investigation with any number of suspects - and many unanswered questions. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Rugby World Cup 2011: Highlights Highlights of the Bronze Final of the Rugby World Cup. 11.35 Send In The Dogs 12.35am The Zone 2.40 FILM: Tooth (2004) 4.10ITV Nightscreen 5.30News ***Alternative Schedule*** If Rugby World Cup is not shown 6.00 Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show

Channel 4

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 How To Look Good Naked 11.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.00pm Channel 4 News 12.05 The Restoration Man 1.05 River Cottage Bites 1.15 FILM: A Man Alone (1955) 3.05 BT And Channel 4 Present... 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal Live 5.00 Celebrity Coach Trip 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Lynsey is left cold as Silas warns her that he is planning something very dark for Halloween. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World Reporter Jenny Kleeman and producer Suemay Oram travel to Uganda to investigate the effects of hydrocephalus, or ‘water on the brain’. 7.55 8.00 Come Dine With Me Dinner party reality show. 9.00 Derren Brown: The Assassin In the first of The Experiments, a fourpart series looking at how our behaviour can be manipulated, Derren Brown investigates hypnosis and asks whether someone could be hypnotised into killing a celebrity. 10.00 Pete Versus Life Comedy drama about struggling sports journalist Pete. 10.35 8 Out Of 10 Cats The topical panel show presented by Jimmy Carr with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson, and guests Vernon Kay, Tim Minchin and Joe Wilkinson. 11.05 Tim Minchin: Ready For This? Piano-playing Australian comic. 12.40am Random Acts 12.45 FILM: All Tomorrow’s Parties (2003) 2.15 MUSIC ON 4: On Track With Seat 2.40 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 3.40 Accidentally On Purpose 4.05 Catastrophe 5.00 Countdown 5.45 The TV Book Club

Channel Five

6.00 – 6.35am Children’s tlevision 6.35 Elmo’s World 6.50 Peppa Pig 6.55 Little Princess 7.10 The Mr. Men Show 7.25 Thomas & Friends 7.40 Noddy In Toyland 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Miami 3.15 FILM: Two Against Time (2002) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away When Casey does not show up for school, and Gina finds out about him carrying a flick-knife, she expels him. 6.25 OK! TV Ahead of tonight’s Big Brother eviction, Brian Dowling guests. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show. Tiff meets British rally legend Mark Higgins, the team test out a new Mercedes convertible, and Vicki races a brand new Ford Mustang. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads Documentary series which sees three seasoned truckers tackle some of the most dangerous roads and driving conditions in the world. 9.00 Big Brother: Live Eviction Host Brian Dowling presents coverage of eviction night in the Big Brother house - who will go? 10.00 The Bachelor Reality series in which girls compete to win the hand of Gavin Henson. 11.00 Big Brother: The Eviction Interview More coverage of eviction night in the Big Brother house, including an in-depth interview with the latest evictee. 11.30 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brother-related news and debate. 12.15am SuperCasino 4.05 Motorsport Mundial 4.30 Fifth Gear 4.55 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 HouseBusters 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Ringside 10.00 The Rugby Club 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Barclays Premier League World 1.30 America’s Cup Uncovered 2.00 Ringside 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Football League Weekend 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Four Nations Rugby League 10.00 Take It Like A Fan 10.30 Barclays Premier League Review 11.00 Football League Weekend 12.00am Four Nations Rugby League 1.30 Take It Like A Fan 2.00 Barclays Premier League Preview

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Extreme 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 India V England ODI Cricket 1.00pm The Rugby Club 2.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 India V England ODI Cricket 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Aquabike 6.30 Road To London 7.00 Kings Of The Extreme 7.30 LIVE Championship Rugby Union 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Tight Lines 2.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 3.00 Trans World Sport

Sky Sports 3 7.00am India V England ODI Cricket 9.00 Racemax 10.00 Kings Of The Extreme 10.30 Sailing 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Racemax 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Kings Of The Extreme 2.30 Sailing 3.00 Racemax 4.00 Trans World Sport 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 10.00 European Tour Golf 12.00am PGA Tour Golf 3.00 Aquabike 3.30 Road To London 4.00 Horse Trials 5.00 Horse Trials Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








1.00pm The Lion Man (x2) 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Glee Project 6.00 Airline 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 The Middle 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 Spy 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 10.00 A League Of Their Own 11.00 Trollied 11.30 Trollied 12.00am Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK 1.00 Road Wars

7.00pm Top Gear USA 7.45 Merlin 8.30 E20 9.00 Little Britain (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.15 American Dad! (x2) 12.00am Top Gear USA 12.45 FILM: Road Trip (2000) 2.15 Little Britain 2.45 Little Britain 3.15 Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live 2011 4.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 4.45 E20

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Light Fantastic 9.10 Songwriters’ Circle 2: Neil Finn, Janis Ian, Ryan Adams 10.10 Singer-Songwriters At The BBC (2) 11.10 Neil Young: Don’t Be Denied 12.10am In Concert: Neil Young 12.40 Songwriters’ Circle 2: Neil Finn, Janis Ian, Ryan Adams 1.40 SingerSongwriters At The BBC (2)

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 The Real Housewives Of New York City 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The Cube 8.00 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 9.00 The X Factor USA: Judges’ Homes Part 3 10.30 The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 12.00am The Jonathan Ross Show

2.05pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Monk 5.05 On The Buses 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 On The Buses (x2) 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot. See highlights. 9.00 Ronnie Corbett’s Comedy Britain 10.00 The Jury 11.00 The Jury 12.05am FILM: The Witches Of Eastwick (1987)

2.05pm Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.35 Desperate Housewives 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 9.00 Embarrassing Fat Bodies 10.00 50 Greatest Wedding Shockers 12.10am The Big Bang Theory

3.05pm Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs Revisited 9.00 FILM: The Untouchables (1987) 11.15 Heroes Of Comedy (x2) 1.25am Come Dine With Me 2.30 Heroes Of Comedy

11.00am Heaven Can Wait (1943) 1.10pm How To Marry A Millionaire (1953) 3.00 The Sea Chase (1955) 5.15 Murder At The Gallop (1963) 6.55 That Thing You Do! (1996) 9.00 Definitely, Maybe (2008) 11.10 Night Watch (2004) 1.25am Day Watch (2006) 3.55 Close



Brighton Lights 31

Example, Razorlight and Ed Sheeran, all exclusively on Brighton Lights in our Shakedown Festival special

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saturday 22 Strictly Come Dancing BBC1, 6.25pm Tess Daly and SIR Bruce Forsyth host the dancing show in which celebrities pair up with professional ballroom dancers and compete to win the favour of the your votes at home. Like gladiators with a foxtrot or a quick step, but not clothed in much more when you get down to it. Hear the crowd roar!

The X Factor ITV1, 8pm It’s week three of the live shows and only eleven acts remain. After the initial mass cull when the judges were forced to turn on their own the odds to stay in got a little better, but as the numbers reduce the pressure increases. Will Gary put the boot in with his stern criticism? Will Tulisa and Kelly boost the fallen? Find out.

Russell Howard Live: Dingledodies BBC3, 10pm Taken from Russell Howard’s last tour, this takes Our Russ back into home territory of the standup show. It’s all very well being on panel quizzes or coming up with topical material each week but given the chance to pick out the best stuff and perform it in front of an audience... s’best.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Cooking 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 British Olympic Dreams 1.30 Don’t Scare The Hare 2.05 Wallace And Gromit: A Grand Day Out 2.30 Outtake TV 3.00 Total Wipeout: The Final 4.00 A Question Of Sport 4.30 Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.20 South East Today 5.25 Celebrity MasterChef

6.00am Zigby 6.10 Guess With Jess 6.20 The Pingu Show 6.35 Dipdap 6.40 Gigglebiz 7.00 Roar 7.30 Arthur 7.50 Dennis & Gnasher 8.05 Pixelface 8.35 Splatalot 9.00 Live ‘n’ Deadly 10.00 Who Let The Dogs Out? 10.30 I Want My Own Room 11.00 Deadly Art 11.15 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 11.40 MOTD Kickabout 12.00pm FILM: Follow The Fleet (1936) 1.50 FILM: The First Of The Few (1942) 3.45 The Great British Bake Off Revisited 4.45 Flog It! 5.30 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 6.00 James May’s Toy Stories James takes model aeroplanes to a new level when he tries to make a full-size Spitfire out of Airfix. Careful with that much glue, lad. 7.00 Spitfire Women During World War II, a remarkable band of female pilots fought against all odds for the right to aid the war effort. 8.00 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. The platoon is determined to do its bit at the Walmington-on-Sea Spitfire Fund Carnival, but is morris dancing a good idea? 8.30 The Spitfire: Britain’s Flying Past Passionate flying enthusiast and broadcaster John Sergeant celebrates the 75th anniversary of the Spitfire with a TV love letter to this most British triumph of design and endeavour. 9.30 QI XL Stephen Fry hosts the hilarious, mind-expanding quiz in which the aim is to be interesting. 10.15 First Light Dramadocumentary. At the age of just 18, Geoffrey Wellum was one of the youngest spitfire pilots to go into combat in the Battle of Britain. The price of victory was more than he could bear. Seventy years later, that same boy is still yearning to be free. 11.35 FILM: Things We Lost In The Fire (2007) Starring Halle Berry, Benicio Del Toro, David Duchovny. Poignant drama. 1.25am Later... With Jools Holland

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Vue Film Show 7.00 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 7.25 FIM Superbike World Championship 7.55 BT And Channel 4 Present... 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Smallville 9.50 Matt Cardle: Album Chart Show Special 10.20 The Big Bang Theory 10.50 SBTV: From Bedroom To Boardroom 11.15 Made In Chelsea 12.20pm Example: Video Exclusive 12.25 The Big Bang Theory 12.55 The Simpsons 1.25 Road To London 2012: That Paralympic Show 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 Come Dine With Me (x4) 6.00 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased reality show. 6.30 Channel 4 News 6.55 7.00 Boudica’s Lost Tribe: A Time Team Special Archaeological investigation. Tony Robinson traces the story of legendary female warrior Boudica by shadowing a major excavation in Norfolk. 8.00 World War II: The Last Heroes Documentary series in which World War II veterans tell their story. This episode looks at what happened when British and German tanks went head to head across northern France. The Allies soon discovered that the Sherman tank ‘brewed up’ when it was attacked, killing everyone inside, while the German Tiger tank seemed indestructible. Not really the levle playing field they were after. 9.00 FILM: The Hurt Locker (2008) Starring Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Guy Pearce and Ralph Fiennes. Tense war thriller following an elite US army bomb squad unit in Iraq, as they deal with a place full of potential enemies and booby traps. 11.30 8 Out Of 10 Cats Uncut Extended edition of the topical panel show. 12.20am Rude Tube 1.20 FILM: Julia (2008) 3.50 Catastrophe 4.45 Countdown 5.30 The TV Book Club

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.40 Rupert Bear 8.55 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Roary The Racing Car 9.45 Animal Families 10.00 Animal Rescue Squad 10.15 Real Food Family Cook Off 10.45 The Gadget Show 11.45 Big Brother: Live Eviction 12.45pm Big Brother: The Eviction Interview 1.15 Superior Interiors With Kelly Hoppen 2.10 The Hotel Inspector 3.15 FILM: Mary Higgins Clark: Try To Remember (2004) 5.05 FILM: How The West Was Won (1962) 8.00 5 News Weekend 8.05 NCIS Drama series following the work of the US navy’s dedicated federal agency. The team investigates the death of a sailor who might have been corrupt. 8.55 NCIS Drama series following the work of the US navy’s dedicated federal agency. The agents investigate the death of a seaman found at the bottom of the sea in his dress uniform. As they struggle to determine whether it was murder or suicide, they discover that the man was addicted to a roleplay game. 9.55 Big Brother Coverage of all the latest goings-on from inside the Big Brother house. 10.55 FILM: Just Married (2003) Starring Ashton Kutcher, Brittany Murphy, Christian Kane, David Moscow, Monet Mazur and George Gaynes. Romantic comedy in which a newlywed couple on honeymoon in Europe discover that the girl’s disapproving family and ex-boyfriend are following them in an attempt to sabotage their relationship. 12.55am SuperCasino Live interactive gaming featuring roulette, blackjack and autowheel. For more information and to register visit 4.00 The FBI Files 4.50 Animal Rescue Squad 5.05 Hana’s Helpline 5.15 The Milkshake! Show 5.40 Thomas & Friends 5.50 Roary The Racing Car

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Trans World Sport 7.30 Four Nations Rugby League 9.00 Ringside 10.00 Four Nations Rugby League 11.30 Ringside 12.30pm LIVE European Tour Golf 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 America’s Cup Uncovered 5.30 Live Rugby Union 8.00 LIVE Fight Night 10.00 Scottish Premier League 11.00 Rugby Union 12.00am NFL London - Wembley Preview 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Fight Night 4.30 Scottish Premier League 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

6.25 Strictly Come Dancing See highlights. 8.15 Merlin Fantasy drama series. The mysterious Julius Borden arrives in Camelot with news of a magical secret that threatens to change the landscape of the kingdom forever. He has located the final part of the key to the tomb of Ashkanar, an ancient mausoleum which holds a very special treasure: the last remaining dragon’s egg. Merlin is understandably drawn in by Borden’s news, and promises to help him. But just who is the enigmatic stranger and, more importantly, what does he really want with the egg? Breakfast? 9.00 Casualty Linda is faced with a moral dilemma: will she help a drugaddicted prostitute in a war against her abusive pimp, or should she simply walk away? 9.50 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws The National Lottery Saturday night draws presented by John Partridge. Includes Thunderball and Lotto draws, and Lotto Plus 5 results. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights from the day’s Barclays Premier League fixtures. 11.30 The Football League Show Highlights and analysis from the Football League. 12.45am Weatherview 12.50 News

6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Handy Manny 7.10 Tati’s Hotel 7.25 The Super Hero Squad Show 7.45 Horrid Henry 8.00 The Cool Stuff Collective 8.25 Monk 8.30 Phineas And Ferb 8.40 Phineas And Ferb 9.00 Sonny With A Chance 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.45 ITV News & Weather 11.50 FILM: Smokey And The Bandit II (1980) 1.40pm FILM: Babe (1995) 3.20 FILM: The Flintstones In Viva Rock Vegas (2000) 5.00 Meridian News And Weather 5.15 ITV News & Weather 5.30 100% You’ve Been Framed! 6.30 All Star Family Fortunes Queen of the jungle Stacey Solomon and her family compete against Emmerdale actor Danny Miller and his in a bid to win thousands of pounds for their chosen charities. Hosted by Vernon Kay. Big grin! 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry delves into the funniest moments from this week’s telly to present a packed half-hour of gags, clips and special guests. The week’s TV isn’t complete without the big collared comic’s hilarious spin on the big soap storylines, and with all the top documentaries, dramas and reality shows. And a fight. Of course. 8.00 The X Factor See highlights. 9.55 The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan Ross is joined by the funniest woman on TV Miranda Hart, the star of Frost/Nixon actor Michael Sheen, and Noel Gallagher who talks about life after Oasis, and performs his new single. 10.55 ITV News; Weather 11.10 FILM: Van Helsing (2004) Starring Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh and David Wenham. Special effects-laden fantasy adventure. Outcast Van Helsing is charged with a mission to go to the shadowy world of Transylvania and vanquish the evil Count Dracula. No pension plan in it. 1.35am The Zone 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Take It Like A Fan 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Take It Like A Fan 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.15 Take It Like A Fan 3.45 Sky Sports Classics 4.00 Max Power 5.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Sky Sports 3 6.00am NFL – America’s Game 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 WWE: Smackdown 11.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 12.00pm Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 12.30 NFL – America’s Game 1.25 LIVE Currie Cup Rugby Union 4.00 LIVE Currie Cup Rugby Union 6.00 NFL London – Wembley Preview 7.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 10.00 European Tour Golf 12.00am PGA Tour Golf 3.00 Rugby Union 4.00 NFL London – Wembley Preview 5.00 Sailing: America’s Cup Uncovered 5.30 BMX Supercross

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm 35mm 2011 12.30 Futurama (x2) 1.30 The Simpsons 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Showboaters 4.00 Emergency With Angela Griffin 5.00 Road Wars 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Futurama (x4) 9.00 FILM: Sphere (1998) 11.35 Cop Squad 12.35am Law And Order 1.35 Caprica 2.30 Fringe 3.20 The 4400

7.00pm The World’s Strictest Parents 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News (x2) 10.00 Russell Howard Live: Dingledodies. See highlights. 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Wilfred 12.50 How Not To Live Your Life (x2) 1.50 Russell Howard’s Good News

7.00pm Life 8.00 Agony & Ecstasy: A Year With English National Ballet 9.00 FILM: Monty Python’s Life Of Brian (1979) 10.30 Holy Flying Circus 12.00am Top Of The Pops: 1976 12.30 Singer-Songwriters At The BBC (2) 1.30 Songwriters’ Circle 2: Neil Finn, Janis Ian, Ryan Adams 2.40 Agony & Ecstasy

3.20pm The Only Way Is Essex (x2) 4.50 FILM: Back To The Future Part II (1989) 5.45 Fyi Daily 5.50 FILM: Back To The Future Part II (1989) 7.00 Homes From Hell 8.00 My Child Won’t Eat 9.00 Grimefighters (x2) 9.55 The Xtra Factor 10.55 Celebrity Juice 11.40 Peter Andre: My Life 12.40am Harry Hill’s TV Burp

1.10pm Wycliffe 2.15 Murder, She Wrote: A Story To Die For 4.05 Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle 5.55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.20 FILM: Hands Of A Murderer (1990) 1.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.00 Numb3rs

1.25pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.00 Made In Chelsea 5.00 One Tree Hill 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Happy Endings 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 9.00 FILM: Team America: World Police (2004) 10.50 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 11.45 The Cleveland Show (x2) 12.45am Show And Tell

9.00am Time Team (x4) 1.10pm FILM: Murphy’s War (1971) 3.20 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 3.35 Grand Designs Revisited (x5) 9.00 The Story Of Film: An Odyssey 10.25 FILM: The Untouchables (1987) 12.40am The Story Of Film: An Odyssey 2.05 Time Team (x2)

11.00am The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954) 1.00pm The Italian Job (1969) 3.00 The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) 5.05 The Lady Vanishes (1979) 7.00 Eragon (2006) 9.00 Cloverfield (2008) 10.35 Death Note (2006) 1.00am Death Note: The Last Name (2006) 3.50 Close



Brighton Lights 30

Pride 2011 Special: Val Aviv interviews Caroline Lucas MP, Peter Tatchell, Pride trustee Ryan Atkin, James Ledward of Gscene and Cllrs Geoffrey Bowden and Phelim MacCafferty.

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sunday 23 The X Factor Results ITV1, 8pm They all love each other really, even if they have been encouraged to want to win so badly they’d be prepared to sell their own grandmas for approval. And that’s just the judges! Boom Boom! Anyway, here’s a round up of the backstage drama, live performances from established music bods and the results.

Fry’s Planet Word BBC2, 9pm Are you sitting comfortably? Then Stephen will begin... because this episode of the language-loving series looks at storytelling. How utterly brilliant. Trying to find out what makes some writers better at telling stories that others Stephen examines prose as diverse as Shakespeare and Bob Dylan. Proper fascinating. (sic)

Family Guy BBC3, 11pm & 11.20pm Late night animation now has its own nice niche on BBC3, lead by Family Guy. It’s the story of an everyday family with a talking dog. Mind you, following on from this is American Dad – an everyday family with a talking alien. Ho hum. Anyway, James Woods steals Peter’s identity tonight and goes on a rampage.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.50 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Morning Live 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Reincarnation: You Only Live Twice? 1.30 EastEnders 3.25 Total Wipeout: The Awards 4.10 Planet Dinosaur 4.40 Planet Dinosaur 5.10 Points Of View 5.25 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Zigby 6.10 The Large Family 6.20 The Pingu Show 6.35 Dipdap 6.40 Gigglebiz 7.00 Roar 7.30 Arthur 7.50 Dennis & Gnasher 8.05 Wingin’ It 8.30 MotoGP 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Flog It! 12.00pm Escape To The Country 1.00 MotoGP 2.30 FILM: In Which We Serve (1942) 4.20 FILM: We Dive At Dawn (1943) 5.55 Timewatch: The Hunt For U-864

6.00am Signed Stories 6.10 Boblins 6.20 Chloe’s Closet 6.35 Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 7.00 Babar And The Adventures Of Badou 7.10 Annabel’s Kitchen 7.25 The Cool Stuff Collective 7.50 Horrid Henry 8.00 Phineas And Ferb 8.15 Phineas And Ferb 8.30 Rugby World Cup 2011: The Final 11.30 ITV News & Weather 11.45 FILM: Every Which Way But Loose (1978) 1.50pm The X Factor 3.45 Downton Abbey 5.00 Rugby World Cup 2011: Highlights

6.00am Sali Mali 6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 British Gas Great North Swim 7.25 BT And Channel 4 Present... 7.30 One Tree Hill 8.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus 10.50 Professor Green Unseen 11.05 Live And Lost With Blackberry: Chipmunk 11.40 The Simpsons 12.15pm Shipwrecked 1.15 Celebrity Coach Trip 1.45 Celebrity Coach Trip 2.20 Celebrity Coach Trip 2.50 Celebrity Coach Trip 3.25 Celebrity Coach Trip 3.55 The Simpsons 4.25 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain 5.25 Deal Or No Deal Live

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.55 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Football First: Match Choice 12.30am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 LIVE WWE: Vengeance 4.00 Football First: Match Choice 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

6.00 BBC News 6.15 South East Today 6.25 Countryfile The people and the stories at the heart of the British countryside. 7.25 Strictly Come Dancing It’s the results show! Will there be tears? will there be blisters on display? Will there be belly buttons on display? 8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the experts pay a return visit to Hever Castle, where more treasures come under scrutiny. 9.00 Spooks Drama series. As the man responsible for the kidnapping of their deputy-director, Harry is handed over to the CIA, ready for deportation to the US. But when fresh evidence surfaces that there are darker forces at work, his loyal team break Harry out of his enforced custody. Ye gads! 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the popular news quiz. 11.10 Ask Rhod Gilbert Repeat of Wednesday’s show. 11.45 American Football: Tampa Bay Buccaneers V Chicago Bears Mark Chapman presents all the American Football action as the NFL pays its visit to Wembley Stadium. 12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman 1.30 A Farmer’s Life For Me 2.30 Holby City 3.30 BBC News

6.45 Top Gear Motoring magazine with Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond, including road tests, news and features. 8.00 Operation Jericho Continuing the World War II season over the weekend, this highlights an audacious raid on a Getapo prison in France. 9.00 Fry’s Planet Word See highlights. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Colin Murray introduces all the goals, highlights and talking points from a busy day in the Premier League. The five games include the Manchester derby. Clashes between United and City are always eagerly anticipated, but even more so this year after the terrific starts both clubs have made to the season. Many observers believe the title will be fought out between these two sides. As ever, there is a full review of Saturday’s goals and incidents with expert analysis from Lee Dixon and Alan Hansen. 11.30 Fast And Loose Hugh Dennis presents a fast-moving and hilarious new series of improvised games and sketches with guests Greg Davies, Justin Edwards, Pippa Evans, Humphrey Ker, Marek Larwood and Laura Solon. 12.00am Never Mind The Buzzcocks 12.30 FILM: Miss Firecracker (1989) 2.10 BBC News

6.00 Meridian News; Weather 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Repeat of yesterday’s madcapped commentary. 7.00 Holding Out For A Hero Gethin Jones presents the quiz show in which contestants play to win a potentially life-changing sum of money for someone else. In this episode, contestants play for the FireFighters Charity, Freewheelers Disabled Sport Development, and Oxford Kidney Unit Trust Fund. 8.00 The X Factor Results See highlights. 9.00 Downton Abbey Wheelchair bound, Matthew is convalescing at Downton with Mary as his constant carer, and Robert is furious when Cora arranges for Lavinia to return. Carlisle announces his intention to buy neighbouring Haxby Park and threatens to ruin Mary if she jilts him. Cora has reason to thank Violet when Isobel jumps at the chance to help a charity that looks after displaced refugees. 10.15 That Sunday Night Show 10.45 ITV News; Weather 11.00 Someone’s Daughter, Someone’s Son Three-part documentary series exploring the impact of murder on families. 12.00am Rugby Highlights: LV= Cup 12.55 The Zone 2.00 Motorsport UK 2.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.25 Channel 4 News 6.55 7.00 The Political Slot 7.05 Grand Designs Property series with Kevin McCloud. In Cornwall, stonemason Adam Purchase attempts to convert a historic Grade II listed engine house into a place to live. 8.00 River Cottage Veg Every Day Chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall spends a summer as a vegetarian, sampling a variety of meat-free foodstuffs from around the world. Hugh and the team revel in the first sweet roots of summer. 9.00 The Secret Millionaire Multi-millionaire Ivan Massow goes undercover in the Pilton Estate on the outskirts of Edinburgh. 10.00 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night Comedy quiz with Chris Moyles. Hollywood comic Will Ferrell goes head-to-head with David Walliams and Louis Walsh. 10.55 Derren Brown: The Assassin The first of The Experiments, a series looking at how our behaviour can be manipulated. 11.55 Pete Versus Life Comedy. 12.30am Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds: Somewhere In Between 1.00 American Football Live 4.45 BT And Channel 4 Present... 4.50 Freesports On 4 5.20 Grudge Match 5.30 Brief Encounters Of The Sporting Mind: Harness Racing 5.35 The TV Book Club

6.00 – 6.55am Children’s television 6.55 Roobarb And Custard Too 7.00 The Save-Ums! 7.20 Make Way For Noddy 7.35 Hana’s Helpline 7.50 Little Princess 8.05 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Angelina Ballerina 8.40 Rupert Bear 8.55 Olivia 9.10 The Mr. Men Show 9.25 Roary The Racing Car 9.45 Bupa Great Birmingham Run 12.00pm Animal Rescue Squad 12.20 Big Brother 1.15 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 2.15 FILM: Only You (1994) 4.10 FILM: Daddy Day Camp (2007) 5.55 FILM: Toy Story 2 (1999) 8.05 5 News 8.10 Paul Merton’s Adventures Documentary series following Paul Merton as he embarks on a series of adventures. Paul jumps aboard the biggest cruise ship in the world for a tour of the Caribbean, where he hitches a ride with the Jamaican dogsled team, gets lost on a reef in Mexico and is attacked by a tiger. 9.00 Big Brother Coverage of all the latest goings-on from inside the Big Brother house. 10.00 FILM: Two Weeks Notice (2002) Starring Hugh Grant, Sandra Bullock, Alicia Witt, Mark Feuerstein, Dana Ivey and Heather Burns. Romantic comedy in which an ambitious law graduate decides to leave her job as she feels her skills are not appreciated by her boss, who treats her like his PA. Her boss agrees to let her go, only to realise that he may be in love with her. 12.00am Extraordinary People: Growing Up Without A Face Documentary series exploring remarkable stories of human experience from all over the world. 12.55 SuperCasino 4.00 The Family Recipe 4.05 Europa League Football Highlights 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.15 The Milkshake! Show 5.40 Thomas & Friends 5.50 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.00 Scottish Premier League 8.00 Spanish Football 9.30 LIVE India v England ODI Cricket 6.30pm Wild Spirits 7.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 10.00 European Tour Golf 12.00am International Cricket 1.00 India v England ODI Cricket 3.00 International Cricket 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Racemax 7.00 Road To London 7.30 This Week In WWE 8.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 9.00 WWE: Afterburn 10.00 Fight Night 12.00pm Road To London 12.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 4.30 WWE: Experience 5.30 LIVE NFL 9.15 LIVE NFL 12.30am PGA Tour Golf 3.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








1.00pm Emergency With Angela Griffin 2.00 Footloose Special 2.15 Lion King Special 2.30 Futurama (x3) 4.00 Showboaters 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Spy 6.00 Terra Nova 7.00 Inside Gatwick 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Strike Back: Project Dawn 10.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 11.00 Cop Squad 12.00am House

7.00pm Wallace And Gromit’s Cracking Contraptions 7.10 Wallace And Gromit: A Close Shave 7.40 FILM: Madagascar (2005) 9.00 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 10.00 The Fades 11.00 Family Guy (x2). See highlights. 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30am Gavin And Stacey (x2)

7.00pm Julia Bradbury’s Icelandic Walk 8.00 Britain’s Park Story 9.00 Tales From The National Parks 10.00 FILM: Katalin Varga (2009) 11.20 Tales From The National Parks 12.20am Britain’s Park Story 1.20 Light Fantastic 3.00 Tales From The National Parks

4.50pm All Star Family Fortunes 5.40 FILM: Back To The Future Part III (1990) 6.35 Fyi Daily 6.40 FILM: Back To The Future Part III (1990) 8.00 Grimefighters (x2) The Xtra Factor 10.15 The Only Way Is Essex 11.00 Models, Misfits & Mayhem 12.00am Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: David Hasselhoff

11.30am Murder, She Wrote: South By Southwest 1.20pm Foyle’s War 3.35 FILM: Batteries Not Included (1987) 5.40 Perspectives: Hugh Laurie Down By The River 6.45 The Darling Buds Of May (x2) 9.00 FILM: Air America (1990) 11.15 FILM: If Only (2004) 1.10am Prime Suspect 3.00 Nightscreen

3.40pm Supersize vs Superskinny 4.45 Make It Or Break It 5.40 Smallville 6.35 FILM: Angus, Thongs And Perfect Snogging (2008) 8.30 FILM: Zoolander (2001) 10.10 The Inbetweeners 10.45 The IT Crowd 11.15 Rhod Gilbert And The Cat That Looked Like Nicholas Lyndhurst 12.20am Derren Brown

10.00am Scrapheap Challenge (x4) 2.20pm Four In A Bed (x5) 5.05 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.55 Jamie At Home (x2) 9.00 Jamie’s American Food Revolution 10.00 Jackpots And Jinxes: Lottery Stories 11.05 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.40 Father Ted 12.15am The IT Crowd 12.45 Black Books 1.15 Deal Or No Deal

11.00am Blithe Spirit (1945) 1.00pm Taxi (2004) 2.55 Operation Crossbow (1965) 5.15 Guns Of The Magnificent Seven (1969) 7.20 Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) 9.00 Die Hard (1988) 11.35 Kama Sutra: A Tale Of Love (1996) 1.45am Bombon, El Perro (2004) 3.45 Close



Brighton Lights 31

Comedian and TV writer Mark Allen spills all about his fabulous show The Humble Quest For Universal Genius, as featured in the Brighton Comedy Festival Fringe

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045_LS548_TV_mon_L7wed14apr.qxd 13/10/2011 17:13 Page 1

monday 24 Brave New World With Stephen Hawking Channel 4, 8pm More scientific breakthroughs from the true king of science to the masses (remember that Dr Brian Cox). This week it’s an exploration into the research of diseases and the hunt for treatments and cures. From robots to the deepest jungles, with special envoys aplenty.

Young Apprentice BBC1, 9pm Lord Sugar is looking scowly, which means it’s time for business and no dilly dallying about. You get me? Twelve candidates aged between 16 and 17 will compete for a £25,000 fund that will be tailor-made to kickstart their business career. Week one and it’s boys versus girls on the frozen treats task.

The John Thaw Story ITV3, 9pm Family and friends play special tribute to John Thaw in a programme celebrating his life and career. Featuring interviews with his wife Sheila Hancock, his daughters and fellow actors, a profile of the gifted actor who brought such era-defining shows as The Sweeney and Inspector Morse to the small screen.


¸ terrestrial BBC1



Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 The Indian Doctor 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Barney’s Latin America 3.35 Prank Patrol Down Under 4.00 Deadly Top 10 4.30 Blue Peter 4.55 Shaun The Sheep 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Pointless

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s telvision 9.00 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 9.30 Charlie And Lola 9.45 Mister Maker 10.05 I Can Cook 10.25 Louie 10.30 Baby Jake 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 The Pink Panther Show 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Diagnosis Murder 1.45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 2.15 The Weakest Link 3.00 Wanted Down Under 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Flog It! 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two All the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip Celebrity Antiques Road Trip. 8.00 University Challenge In the first of the second round matches, the University of Leeds plays Clare College, Cambridge, for a place in the quarter-finals. 8.30 Baking Made Easy Chef, baker and patissier Lorraine Pascale shares her secrets, passion and knowledge on baking sweet and savoury recipes. 9.00 Origins Of Us Dr Alice Roberts reveals how your body tells the story of human evolution. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic music quiz. The third in the 25th anniversary series, with team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus, and guest host Adam Buxton. They are joined by DJ Reggie Yates, stand-up Margaret Cho, magician Dynamo, and singer Beverley Knight. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Faster Than The Speed Of Light? Repeat of Wednesday’s programme. 12.20am Fry’s Planet Word 1.20 BBC News 4.00 La Mappa Misteriosa 5.30 Talk Italian (x2)

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 There’s No Taste Like Home 5.00 The Chase

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Undercover Boss USA 9.55 How To Look Good Naked 10.55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Country House Rescue 1.00 River Cottage Bites 1.10 FILM: Paper Moon (1973) 3.10 Countdown 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Four In A Bed 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Gennie hands in her notice when Nikhil messes up again. 7.30 Coronation Street It is day one of the trial and the fight for Fiz’s freedom begins. A remorseful Sophie confides in Kevin. 8.00 Little England Documentary series looking at the lives of some of the British expats who have settled in the Dordogne region. Nick and Jackie Warner from Northamptonshire have bought a vineyard and are producing their first bottles of wine with the help of a mobile bottling plant. 8.30 Coronation Street The trial continues and the evidence against Fiz stacks up. 9.00 Doc Martin Bert Large’s restaurant is in financial trouble – and he is being chased by loan sharks. These vermin reach every picturesque corner. Grr. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Exposure: On The Run Former police detective Mark Williams-Thomas investigates why more than 100,000 criminals escape the criminal justice system every year. 11.35 That Sunday Night Show 12.05am Wildlife Patrol 12.35 The Zone 2.35 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks A friendless Lynsey cuts a lonely figure in the village, while Silas sets a terrifying game for her to work out. 6.55 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 BT And Channel 4 Present... 8.00 Brave New World With Stephen Hawking See highlights. 9.00 Mummifying Alan: Egypt’s Last Secret Documentary following a team of scientists as they mummify a specially-donated body in an attempt to work out how the ancient Egyptians preserved the pharaohs. 3000 years after the 18th Dynasty, a period which marked the pinnacle of Egyptian embalming techniques, a terminally ill British man called Alan has donated his body so that experts can create a 21stcentury mummy. Filmed inside one of the UK’s leading forensic pathology labs, the scientists try to unlock the preservation techniques used during the ‘Golden Age’ of Tutankhamen. 10.40 Rude Tube Alex Zane presents the funniest, strangest and most outrageous clips from the internet. 11.45 Fresh Meat Repeat of Wednesday’s episode. 12.35am Random Acts 12.40 Coral Late Night Poker 1.35 FILM: Ishqiya (2010) 3.35 Truel 3.50 FILM: Friday Night In (2003) 4.00 Catastrophe 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The TV Book Club

6.00 – 7.40am Children’s television 7.40 Noddy In Toyland 7.55 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.00 Mio Mao 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.35 Roary The Racing Car 8.45 Bananas In Pyjamas 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 LIVE With Gabby 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 Big Brother 1.15 Home And Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 3.15 FILM: A Time To Remember (2003) 5.00 5 News At 5 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away The beach is closed as a massive storm approaches Summer Bay. Irene tells Leah about her cancer diagnosis. Metaphors much? 6.25 OK! TV Upbeat mix of celebrity gossip and big name interviews. 7.00 5 News At 7 7.30 Celebrity Wish List Sheree Murphy goes on a musical treasure hunt for an East Sussex charity and Jeff Brazier has a personal reason for saying thank you to a special lady. 8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show. Jason and Suzi set their sights on taking gaming to next level, Jon checks out Virgin’s new TiVo box and Ortis searches for the five toughest USB sticks. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Awardwinning hotelier Alex Polizzi has 20 years’ experience of working in some of the most prestigious establishments in the world. This week, can Alex restore the shine to the dowdy inn in the Derbyshire Peak District? 10.00 Big Brother Coverage of all the latest goings-on from inside the Big Brother house. 11.00 Big Brother’s Bit On The Side A round-up of Big Brotherrelated news and debate. 12.00am Police Interceptors 12.55 SuperCasino 4.05 The Family Recipe 4.10 Grey’s Anatomy 4.55 Animal Rescue Squad 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football First: Match Choice 10.30 Spanish Football 12.00pm Scottish Premier League 1.00 Football First: Match Choice 2.30 Scottish Premier League 3.30 Spanish Football 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 Netbusters 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 10.00 Netbusters 10.30 SPL Round-Up 11.00 Barclays Premier League Review 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League: Championship 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show If it has Britain talking then it will be here. 7.30 Inside Out Former NUS President Aaron Porter asks the South East’s university vice chancellors whether there is any point in getting a degree considering the rise in tuition fees. 8.00 EastEnders Whitney finds herself with a new boyfriend, but she has to decide if he is the man she wants. A scheming Ben exposes Syed’s lies about Amira to an incredulous Christian. 8.30 Cops Behaving Badly – Panorama With allegations of police on the take and complicity to crimes comig to light, Panorama tries to get to the bottom of it all. 9.00 Young Apprentice See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker asks the questions as team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell lead their teams of sporting stars. 11.05 Spooks Repeat of yesterday’s episode. 12.05am The Graham Norton Show 12.55 Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: The Great British Bake Off 2.00 The Body Farm 3.00 Reel History Of Britain 3.30 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Extreme 7.00 International Polocrosse 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00pm NFL 3.00 Fight Night 5.00 India v England ODI Cricket 7.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 8.00 NFL 10.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 11.00 Great Run Series 11.30 Carp Academy 12.00am European Tour Golf 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 2.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 3.30 PGA Tour Classic 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am India v England ODI Cricket 8.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 9.00 International Polocrosse 10.00 Max Power 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm WWE: Afterburn 1.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 2.00 WWE: Experience 3.00 WWE: Afterburn 4.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 WWE: Smackdown 9.00 LIVE WWE: Vengeance 12.00am WWE: Vintage Collection 1.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 2.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series 5.15 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Raising Hope (x2) 1.00 Futurama (x2) 2.00 The Middle (x2) 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 The Glee Project 6.00 Glenn Martin, DDS 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Terra Nova 9.00 A League Of Their Own 10.00 An Idiot Abroad 2 11.00 The Jo Whiley Music Show 12.00am Fringe

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Planet Dinosaur 8.30 The Real Hustle: New Recruits 9.00 Young, Foreign And Over Here 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Top Gear USA 11.15 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am American Dad! (x2) 12.45 Young, Foreign And Over Here 1.45 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.45 The Real Hustle: New Recruits

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Perfume 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Ceramics: A Fragile History 10.00 Edward Burra 11.00 The Secret Life Of Waves 12.00am Ceramics: A Fragile History 1.00 Only Connect 1.30 Edward Burra 2.30 Perfume 3.30 Ceramics: A Fragile History

2.35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.40 The Real Housewives Of New York City 4.40 Loose Women 5.40 Judge Judy (x3) 7.05 The X Factor 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 FILM: The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) 12.15am Harry Hill’s TV Burp 12.45 100% You’ve Been Framed! 1.45 Coronation Street (x2)

12.05pm Kingdom 1.05 Heartbeat 2.10 Pie In The Sky 3.15 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Monk 5.05 On The Buses 5.40 Heartbeat 6.40 Pie In The Sky 7.50 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 The John Thaw Story. See highlights. 10.00 Lewis 12.05am Numb3rs 12.55 Cracker 1.45 Film File

2.40pm Gilmore Girls 3.35 Desperate Housewives 4.35 Rules Of Engagement 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 56.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 The Big Bang Theory 8.30 My Name Is Earl 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Made In Chelsea 11.00 Misfits 12.10am The Big Bang Theory (x2)

2.25pm Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Hospital 10.00 Country House Rescue 11.05 The Daily Show 11.40 Unreported World 12.05am The Hospital

11.00am Guns Of The Magnificent Seven (1969) 1.05pm Doctor Dolittle (1967) 4.00 Warlock (1959) 6.20 Phantom Of The Opera (2004) 9.00 Hitman (2007) 10.50 Le Dieu Noir Et Le Diable Blond (1963) 1.05am Hero (2002) 3.10 Close



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Latest 7: No. 548  
Latest 7: No. 548  

Let it snow Put on your sparkling best for the Chestnut Tree House Snowman Spectacular Ball