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001_LS509_cover_editorial cover 14/01/2011 12:17 Page 1

the city magazine for brighton & hove

H jobs H news H food H listings H tv guide H 18 – 24 January 2011

STAY YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL Win Korres anti-ageing regiment kit


BARRY AT THE TUREEN Andrew Kay returns to a favourite haunt

Run for your money Raising money and hope with Brighton Half Marathon in aid of The Sussex Beacon page 19 See in 2011 in style

HAVIT ALL Excercise tailored to suit you – and your attention span

2 course lunch £10

Available through to Easter, every day 12 – 4pm 19 PRINCE ALBERT STREET, BRIGHTON

01273 321321

002_LS509_Cuts_000_LH480_Sussex Blinds 12/01/2011 17:23 Page 1

004_005_LS509_Latest People_Social Diary 14/01/2011 14:35 Page 2



latest PEOPLE

The launch of Holiday On Ice show Energia, Brighton Marathon Mini Mile & a new office for Fox & Sons

Fox & Sons celebrate new office Fox & Sons have moved their Rottingdean Office to the High Street, Rottingdean on the corner of the main A259, giving them a higher profile in the village. The office covers the areas of Rottingdean, Ovingdean and Saltdean. Grant Clarke, the manager, along with his team of Richard Motley, negotiator, Julie Stevens, administrator and negotiator, and weekend assistant Judith Chandler welcome all enquires from clients in these areas. 50 High Street, Rottingdean, 01273 309968 Photos: Patrick Kneath

Mick Besley (Arty Pharty), Grant Clarke (Rottingdean manager). Chris Still (area director), Mark Lawson (Peacehaven manager), Amanda Davidson (Arty Pharty, New local Business)

Cool runnings Brighton Marathon race director Tim Hutchings and Grand Hotel general manager, Andrew Mosley, joined former Olympic hurdler Sally Gunnell for the official launch of the Brighton Grand Hotel Mini Mile at Balfour Junior School in Balfour Road. Children from the school were given T-shirts and shown a video about the Mini Mile and the Marathon together with highlights of Sally Gunnell winning the 400m hurdles at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Sally then showed her gold medal to the children. Entries are now open for the 2,000 places available for the Grand Hotel Mini Mile races on the seafront. The races are held before the marathon itself on 10 April and open to youngsters aged between eight and 17. It will start on Hove Lawns and run for a mile along the seafront to Madeira Drive. For more details and to sign up for a mini mile race, visit

Ian Horner (Gully), Steph Boyce, Laura Davis, Billie Trubridge (Gully’s Girls) Andrew Mosley, Sally Gunnell, Tim Hutchings, Gully and Gully’s Girls, with children from Balfour School

Tim Hutchings (Brighton Marathon race director) addressing the children from Balfour School

Photos: Patrick Kneath

Andrew Mosley (general manager Grand Hotel), Sally Gunnell, Tim Hutchings (Brighton Marathon race director), Gully

Tim Hutchings (Brighton Marathon race director) addressing the children from Balfour School

Sally Gunnell

Gully, Andrew Mosley (general manager Grand Hotel), Sally Gunnell, Tim Hutchings (Brighton Children from Balfour School wearing the Mini Mile T-shirts Marathon race director) and Gully’s Girls

004_005_LS509_Latest People_Social Diary 14/01/2011 14:36 Page 3


Mr & Mrs Geoff Wells – Mayor of Brighton & Hove, & Energia Skaters

The team from 'The family Grape Vine': Gill Evaroa, Katherine Daniel, Nicola Coughlin and guest

James Ledward & guests

Mr & Mrs Charlie Stewart, Strategic Director Resources, B&HCC

Holiday On Ice charity gala launch The great and the good were on hand to celebrate the launch of Holiday On Ice: Energia at the Brighton Centre on Tuesday 11 January. Raising money for the Have A Heart charity on the opening night, Holiday On Ice also presented the cause with a massive cheque at a ceremony before the show, where VIPs mingled and enjoyed the delicious canapés on hand in the first official use of the refurbished function room at The Brighton Centre. With a Heart FM DJ on hand and the breathtaking spectacle of the inaugural show to look forward to, this was a delight for all.

Emma Bleach, Agnes Bleach, Adrian Bleach, Liz Cook, Phoebe Cook

Holiday On Ice: Energia, Brighton Centre, runs until 31 January 2011. Tickets start at £24 for adults and are fixed at £12 for children. Photos: Brighton Centre

006_LS509_news_council_PhilMills_editorial 14/01/2011 11:36 Page 2


L7 News


days of headlines with Phil Mills

Unsung hero Rita Jackson is remembered; seafront tragedy for Brighton dog walker


t’s an overused phrase “unsung hero” but in many people’s books it’s the appropriate accolade for Rita Jackson. The retired nurse (above left) threatened to barricade herself in and campaigned relentlessly through the local and national media to fight the threatened redevelopment of the row of John Howard Cottages in Roedean Road, Brighton, where she and fellow former nurses resided. They were facing eviction until the local St George’s Church heard of their plight and came to the rescue, taking over responsibility for the homes from the Royal College of Nursing. It wasn’t just Rita who fought the good fight, of course. Others took up the challenge and changed the course of events to allow the retired nurses to spend their last days in peace. But she was one of the most outspoken. Rita, 80 and a member of one of Brighton’s oldest fishing families, the Gillams, died on New Year’s day, only months after the good news came through, and her funeral was held last week (13 January). Many sympathy cards received by her children thanked Rita for her efforts.

In other news, the City Council won a cluster of appeals to keep city buildings in keeping: a notice was upheld to remove uPVC windows from the front of house in Walpole Terrace where sash windows are the tradition; it won the right to force the removal of three sets of French windows installed without permission in Western Road; and in Benfield Close, Portslade, a homeowner will have to remove a chimney built without permission. Is the council too fussy with its planning laws? Email There was tragedy on the shore when a dog owner died after trying to rescue his pet terriers from rough seas near Brighton Pier. Kevin Reynolds, 52, died in hospital three hours after being pulled from the waves. Passers by saved the man’s daughter after she went in to help. One of the two dogs drowned. Chief Inspector Helen West, said: “This is a truly tragic event and my sympathies go to the family. Members of the public bravely entered the sea to try to rescue the father and daughter. The man was difficult to reach and was eventually pulled from the water by the lifeboat and airlifted to hospital. “Generally dogs eventually return to their owners after entering water and it is certainly not worth the risk for individuals to go into the sea especially during adverse water conditions.” Police are also asking people to be on the lookout for Brighton man, 21-year old Lloyd Trill, who is

Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on Holocaust Memorial Day


ast week we opened a special photographic exhibition at the Jubilee Library, by award-winning photographer Marion Davies, to mark Holocaust Memorial Day which takes place on 27 January. Holocaust Memorial Day has been held in the UK since 2001 – 27 January being chosen as the date because it was on this date in 1945 that the largest Nazi killing camp – Auschwitz – was liberated. The theme of this year’s day is ‘Untold Stories’, which has been chosen in order to try

wanted for breach of the terms of his release from prison. He was freed part way through a twoyear sentence for GBH. Call police on 0845 6070 999 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111. On a lighter note, Brighton’s Katie Price, aka glamour model Jordan, dressed to the nines and slapped on the lippy when she launched her new clothing range at a shopping mall – and then a few days later she announced she preferred the “natural look” first thing in the mornings. Hmm. And lastly, hats off to the mobility scooter rider for his unique number plate “Old Git 3”, spotted by photographer Stephen Lawrence. Thanks for the laugh, Mister!

latest inbox (RE: Christian Vila’s Weightloss Programme, LS505) I took part in Christian Vila’s boot camp a few months back. It was amazing – I lost almost 8kg of body weight in the 28 days. The diet works really well and it’s not as hard as people will think with the training. You will see a new you and feel so much better. I was sleeping better, my body felt fresh, I had loads more energy and was lots more chilled out. It just goes to show what eating the right food does to you. It’s changed the way I buy food and eat out for the better. Now I go to Christian’s Kettlebell class at ZT Gym every week. Christian Vila knows his stuff. FACT! Nick Hillier, via And more praise... I’ve done this bootcamp, it’s brilliant: two inches lost! I’ll be coming back for more in the future! Steve Richards, via This [commemorative mosaic] is a BRILLIANT idea. I have submitted three pics from the play-off final in Cardiff! Well done all concerned. Dan, via

(RE: Teen Spirit: Tasha is very, very bad at bowling) Don’t feel so bad. I went bowling a while back with my friend’s family. My friend’s youngest sister is seven, so we had the bumpers up so she wouldn’t get the gutter every single time. Yet brilliant me actually managed to bounce my ball OVER the bumper and get it stuck in the gutter! I have no idea how I managed it. I am so talented... Do you agree with the City Council’s planning laws? follow me on twitter

and personalise the tragic events of some 70 years ago. It is sometimes all too easy to talk about the numbers murdered and persecuted during the Holocaust and to lose sight of the fact that these were all individuals with families and friends, each with their own moving and often traumatic story to tell. It is only by uncovering and re-telling these stories that we can appreciate the sheer magnitude and horror of what happened, and to enable us to fully recognise the consequences of persecution and hatred. Marion’s exhibition also seeks to highlight some of the other groups who suffered at the hands of the Nazis. 20,000 black people were persecuted and an estimated 500,000 Sinti and Roma died between 1933 and 1945 in Auschwitz and other concentration camps. 50,000 LGBT people were imprisoned.


Tally, via

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

Also remembered is the bravery of thousands of anonymous people who helped and saved the persecuted. One in particular, British spy Frank Foley, has a particularly remarkable untold story. He worked in the British embassy in Berlin during the 1930s as a passport control officer as a cover for his work for MI6. It is estimated that he saved at least 10,000 lives by issuing visas, forging passports and papers, thus enabling Jews to escape to Britain and Palestine. 70 years on, it is incumbent upon us all to continue to highlight the atrocities of the Holocaust so that future generations of young people never forget those famous words of Edmund Burke –“all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”. Holocaust Memorial Day is a vital part of that process and we are proud to continue to support it.

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008_LS509_citycollegenews_editorial 14/01/2011 11:25 Page 2


L7 NEWS in brief >Flooding in the county

>New on the music scene

After months of rumours, the Green Door Store finally opened its doors to the city’s music fans with a packed party on 7 January. A riotous midnight show from noise trio Cold Pumas topped a sweltering evening’s entertainment, as hundreds of clubbers welcomed the new addition to Brighton’s music scene.

>City discounts

worth sharing We all hunt for the best deals online and now there’s a new website to enjoy entertainment in Brighton – for less. launched last week offering the best deals, discounts and offers from local businesses to people in Brighton and the surrounding area. Categories include beauty, entertainment, family, eating out, nightlife, travel and shopping. The site has a team of local experts with personal knowledge of businesses in the region. Sign up for free online and enjoy up to 90 per cent off! was founded by entrepreneurs and local Brighton residents, Alex Preece and Gareth Gillatt

>Curfew for beneift cheat

A Brighton man has been given a four-month community order with a 7pm to 7am curfew after pleading guilty to housing benefit fraud worth more than £5,000. Colin Roy Priske, of George Street, Brighton, was also ordered by Brighton magistrates to pay £500 costs. The case follows a council investigation that showed that Mr Priske had fraudulently received £5,053 in housing benefit on a flat in Hove that had been repossessed and left vacant in 2008. He had also fraudulently received £272 in council tax benefit. Mr Priske is having to repay this money by instalments.


Residents and businesses are being asked to share their experiences of flooding in the county. East Sussex County Council is holding a series of drop-in sessions to gather people’s memories of flood events, in order to improve its knowledge of how localised flooding affects communities. The sessions take place 3pm–7.30pm at Eastbourne Town Hall (18 January), Hastings Town Hall (21 January) and Lewes District Council’s offices in Southover Street, Lewes (25 January). An online survey gathering people’s experiences can be completed until 31 March in the Current Consultations section of ESCC’s website


KEEP-FIT KING A new £450,000 gym is set to open at King Alfred Leisure Centre in Hove


he gym at Hove’s King Alfred Leisure Centre has been turned into a state-of-the-art facility by a £450,000 investment from the council. The old café has been transformed, with over 40 stations of brand new Life Fitness cardiovascular and resistance training equipment. A dedicated spinning studio adjoins the gym area with 12 Star Trac spinning cycles. New equipment includes six treadmills, five cross trainers, four upright bikes and three recumbent bikes. Other machines include three stair climbers, four rowing machines and 17 new pieces of resistance training equipment. Male and female changing rooms, toilets and showers have been revamped, along with new, efficient air conditioning and a modern audio-visual system. Cabinet councillor for recreation David Smith said: “We promised to

improve the King Alfred in the current building and this is what we’re delivering. This will become the biggest and best public leisure centre in the city, encouraging local people to get fit as the nation turns its attention to sports and the London Olympics. “It will offer the best possible value in these hard-pressed times with no need for expensive memberships.” The new gym is due to open on Monday 24 January. A special celebration weekend will take place on Saturday 29 and Sunday 30 January. The first 50 people through the door on each day will get a free Life Fitness goody bag. No annual contract or joining fees are guaranteed until 1 April. Joining simply involves a short induction course with one of the centre’s qualified fitness instructors. Details are online at and a computer-generated video of the facilities can be found on YouTube.

Aviva forever A Brighton pupil has been selected from hundreds to appear in national TV adverts with Paul Whitehouse. Amy Seymour, aged 13, from Roedean girls’ boarding school in Brighton, will be appearing on TV screens across the country later this month with one of Britain’s top comedians, Paul Whitehouse, in a new Aviva advert produced by a Bafta award-winning director. Amy was selected from hundreds of other children during days of auditions. She plays the daughter of Paul Whitehouse in an advert for Aviva to promote the importance of life insurance. “I was ecstatic when I found out I had been chosen, as I had worked so hard in all the auditions,” Amy says. “I have appeared in a few children’s television programmes in the past

and hopefully this will open more doors in acting.” The advert, which was directed by Declan Lowney (Father Ted, Little Britain and Cold Feet), took two days to film and involved 20 people on the shoot. It is set in a family home with a son, daughter and their parents. Amy says that Paul Whitehouse was great to act with.

Strictly Loco Toledo Anton Du Beke, the star of Strictly Come Dancing has joined forces with the face of Southern Railway, Loco Toledo, to get everyone moving and get fit. Mexican wrestler Loco Toledo has set up a dance competition with Southern Railway to get people up and about in 2011. The loveable train devotee has recorded a cover of his favourite song, ‘Loco In Acapulco’, and enlisted the help of his dance hero Anton to teach him a dance routine to the track. Anton and Loco will be at Victoria Station from 8am on Monday 24 January, moving on to Brighton Station at 11am on the same day. Check out their dance online and show up with your dancing shoes on to help the guys as they try and get passengers moving! Enter the dance competition by logging on to: locotoledo. Watch the pair’s dance video and send in photos or videos of your attempts to recreate the dance via the website.

“He was really encouraging. We worked as a team on the set and he gave me lots of advice to achieve the best possible results.” Amy, who has appeared in many shows at Roedean, says that she gets lots of encouragement from the school and her classmates. “My approach was that if I get the role then that is great, and if I don’t get the part I just think, oh well at least I tried. But my friends at school were so supportive and were really pleased for me when they heard I had been selected.” This may be the beginning of a career in television and film for Amy as she is also preparing for other auditions. She still finds time to prepare for all her drama exams as well as concentrate on her academic studies at Roedean.


News contributors: Chris Dyer, Sarah Stovell

009_LS509_sports-Geeks _024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 14/01/2011 12:03 Page 1


Up the Albion!


Mark Brailsford weighs up the Seagulls’ season prospects

Jamie Shaw of Geeks-on-Wheels knows what’s new in computerland


3D Hobbits

So are we going to do a Leeds United or will a little run in the cup lead to glory? Last season Leeds United were in exactly the same position as the Albion are now, top of the table with a few points over their nearest rivals. Then Leeds staged a classic FA Cup shock by knocking Manchester United out of the FA Cup at Old Trafford. At the same stage of the season, Leeds were dominating League One and sweeping all before them, and then, in the post cup euphoria, the wheels came off. They didn’t win a match for weeks and only just scraped into the automatic promotion spot by a single point. Their charge to the Championship resembled a marathon runner who only just manages to stagger over the line, all bandy-legged and breathless. Still, they got there in the end. Was it the cup run that almost stopped them going up? Could this happen to the Seagulls? Well, here are three reasons why I think it may hopefully be different for Gus Poyet and his team One: We’re not playing a massive club, with all due respect to a fine Watford team. Two: Our way of playing is designed to maximise pass and move football, which isn’t as draining as the more direct approach Leeds used to batter their way through last season. Three: We’ve got Gus Poyet. By the third point I mean this: he won’t let the cup run distract him from the priority, which is to get the Albion promoted. However, if we do beat Watford then my money’s on Arsenal in the fifth round! Either way it’s clear that Gus will put out a team to attack Watford, he doesn’t want or need a replay so the surprising choice of three strikers up front against an easily beaten Portsmouth may well be repeated. If we do get knocked out then most fans will shrug it off and look forward to some big battles in League One as the race hots up. Southampton are looking very dangerous now that Nigel Adkins has got hold of them and Huddersfield are looking good too. Peterborough can only benefit from the likely return of Darren Ferguson; Charlton once they get a new manager in, and who thinks it might be a big name? And Sheffield Weds are starting to show themselves as a threat. So all in all, the table is beginning to shake down to the real contenders, and we’ve got games against some of them soon, all six pointers. Up for the cup? Up for the league more like.


When the Albion were drawn to play Watford in the 4th round FA Cup, it did remind me of a memorable example of one of my favourite terrace chants. Albion were playing Watford away in the late ‘80s and Gary Nelson had scored a goal after around 20 minutes to make the score 1-0 to the Albion. It was at this gleeful point that the Albion fans created one of those magical moments of osmosis that you just cannot rehearse. The atmosphere, at an aptly named Vicarage Road, was as quiet as a church on Sunday. All the Albion fans in the away end, with our traditional large and vocal support, all started chanting the time honoured “You’re not singing anymore” in celebration of the goal. Half-way through the chant, the whole away-end seemed to collectively realise that the home fans hadn’t made a sound up to then. Almost instantly the chant changed from “You’re not singing anymore” to “You weren’t singing any way, you weren’t singing any way.” Great fun.


So our ageing right back/left back/ can now put his feet up and let Calderon reclaim his place. ‘Tanno’ as Gus Poyet affectionately calls him, has done a magnificent job since coming into the team. How wonderful it is to have someone with his Premier League experience to step in and, as the football parlance goes, ‘do a job’. He may be getting on a tad and not as quick as he was (was he ever that quick in the first place?) but you cannot buy that calm authority at the back when you are on a promotion run in. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Taricco play a very important role steadying nerves in a crunch game later in the season, just when we need some Premier League class. A sign of things to come?

JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit (prequel to the Lord Of The Rings) will be filmed entirely in 3D on 30 specially designed cameras. The cameras used, called the RED ONE, are manufactured by The Red Digital Cinema Camera Company and are perfect for 3D work where two cameras are mounted on each 3D rig. The EPIC camera has a 5k resolution and can shoot up to 120 frames per second.

What drives 3D?

Well, it’s a curious fact that the adult entertainment industry drives many new technological breakthroughs. One good example is the fact that the porn-biz was instrumental in the VHS victory over rival tape format Betamax.

Mac apps store hacked Some software for sale in the Mac App Store can easily be downloaded for free, according to reports. Copies of popular apps, notably Angry Birds, are already circulating the web, soon after the launch of Apple's desktop app store. The trick apparently only works on some apps, those that do not validate receipts from the store, letting multiple users run the same version of the software. What does this mean? It allows people to reconfigure a paid application to run on other people’s Apple IDs without requiring them to purchase the app. That could lead to those too "thrifty" to pay for apps to head over to Google to search for free, pirated versions that could easily be tweaked to include malware.

Computer Electronics 2011 Show (CES) snippets: Get Zapped – Taser International were demonstrating their new technology and offering to zap

anyone crazy enough to volunteer. The highlight of its new range is a shotgun with self-contained bullets of electrical agony. Most incredible is the Taser X12 shotgun, which can fire a projectile up to 82 feet (most Tasers can only be used from about 48 feet away) and doesn't have wires attached to the gun itself. The cartridge is entirely selfcontained, has little fold-out wings that keep it stable in flight, and is designed to puncture the target’s skin to deliver its electrical punch... ouch. 3D Sound – LG announced a 5.2 home theatre system touting its 3D sound with its HX996TS speakers. The system includes two subwoofers, a feature rarely seen on all-in-one package systems. LG also touted its ‘Cinema Dome Effect,’ which is a digital sound processing mode designed to create a more immersive sound. LG has not announced a release date or pricing yet. Samsung Cube – Samsung showcased many new products including their HT-D7100 home-ina-box home theatre. The 2.1 audio system fits into a cube that includes a subwoofer and Blu-Ray player. The unit looks good, can be used to stream media and, being modular, the speakers can be separated from the Cube for better stereo. No pricing as yet. HD Media Streaming – D-Link announced a new HD media router family of units that it claims offer much better audio and video streaming. These routers are all DLNA certified and use technology that prioritises high-definition video streaming with services like YouTube HD. The new HD media routers all come with an SD card slot, Wireless-N and Gigabit Ethernet. Two of them come with a USB 3.0 port, which is a first among routers.

Geeks-on-Wheels Europe Ltd. won the PC Retail Awards 2010 ‘Service and Support’ category – our IT support services really are second to none for consumers and businesses. Try our managed cloud back-up service for small business customers – Geeks-on-Wheels Europe support home and small business customers across the south-east of England. Call free on 0800 107 4111 (outside the M25) or 0800 107 4110 (London - within the M25) to reserve your Geek.

010_LS509_Bare Cheek/comps_000_LS467_cheeky/stars 14/01/2011 14:25 Page 2


Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Quotation corner Another selection of choice quotations to enliven your day and astound you with their wit and pith. THIS WEEK’S TOPIC: Love “Life is, or at any rate ought to be, mainly an affair of loving and of fighting for the things one loves. Everything else is bunk, and dangerous bunk at that.” – George Orwell “I tried to fall in love with my wife, but missed and fell in love with a traffic lamp. We celebrate our 20th anniversary next year, and it doesn’t seem a year over 75.” – Groucho Marx “A fellow who has a double helping of love for his vittles will have a triple helping of misery for his puddin’.” – Henry David Thoreau “A woman who has reached the age of nine-and-twenty and experienced neither the attentions of a man, nor the curiosity of her family, must find herself either an occupation or a cause.” – Jane Austen

“Though your hands are pale and soft/Though your talk is warm and funny/Though you hold my heart aloft/I would rather have the money.” – Dorothy Parker “Love is a drop of rain that falls from a forest leaf onto the nose of the child who will one day grow up and cut down the tree. Or something.” – Kahlil Gibran “A man whose heart sings with the eternal song of love is probably an easy mark for an insurance salesman.” – Woody Allen

What’s out DVD BOX SETS TROUSER (20TH CENTURY FOX) £29.99 Meet Leonard Trouser, a detective with a difference: he doesn’t have an arse. Each episode sees the understandably short-tempered lawman investigating a baffling case in downtown Milwaukee, aided by Chico, his wisecracking Puerto Rican sidekick. THE AVENGERS VS. THE NEW AVENGERS VOLUME 1 (WORKNET) £19.99 The characters from series one of The New Avengers (1976) seamlessly edited, using state-ofthe-art digital effects, into the action of series one of the original The Avengers (1961). An act of technical virtuosity so staggeringly pointless it would make a grown man weep tears of blood. GAMES SHADOW CASTLE: ODYSSEY OF THE DRONE LORDS (PS3/XBOX 360) £39.99 Fantasy RPG following the life of Moran, a “storm wizard”, from birth to death, which takes over 4,000 days to complete, even if you literally don’t do anything else (which seems a fair bet.) TORTURE CIRCUS AGONY III: SCREAM YOUR FORGIVENESS (PS3) £34.99 Brazen attempt to gets lots of publicity by being banned for including extreme violence, nudity, and actual footage of genuine murder cases, leading to questions in the House, and a tongue-tied, confused condemnation by Sir Menzies Campbell on Question Time.

GRAND THEFT AUTO: WORKSOP WARS (DS/DSI) £29.99 The sandbox behemoth finally tackles car crime in the eastmidlands town. Contains scenes of cut and shutting, mileometer fraud, and intentional misrepresentation of repair needs. ONLINE LIFEPLACE Yes, it’s the brand new socialmedia phenomenon that’s about to take over the globe and be endlessly debated in the broadsheets, despite the fact that it’s the same as all the other social media sites but with a slight twist, like you can send someone a virtual wedgie or something. HOWLIKELYAREYOUTOSLEEPWITH WILLIAMHMACY.COM Self-explanatory waste of everybody’s time. THE MEET JOE BLACK ONLINE RESOURCE Worryingly-thorough fan site dedicated to the underwhelming 1998 Brad Pitt supernatural drama, run by a mentally-suspect man from Iowa who doesn’t get out much. Features include a 29 page interview with director Martin Brest, a tribute to cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki, and a recording of Anthony Hopkins swearing and saying “Who are you? How did you get this number?”

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! With over 120 exhibitors showcasing the latest products in the world of creative crafts, you will find all the inspiration, supplies and advice you could ever need. Featuring stunning displays including; ‘Undoing Of The Corset’ and ‘Glimpses Of The Swinging Sixties’ you can also take advice from the experts at the show and try your hand at a new craft by taking part in one of the many mini-workshops, talks and on-stand demonstrations. Win one of 10 pairs of tickets! (visit for more details). Q In what kind of ovens do potters ‘fire’ the clay?

COMPETITIONS BUDDY – THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY Fifty years ago, the man who changed the face of music died in a plane crash aged just 22. Buddy tells the story of the three years in which he became the world’s top recording artist. The show includes his greatest hits including; ‘Peggy Sue’, ‘That’ll Be The Day’, ‘Oh Boy’, ‘Rave On’, ‘Heartbeat’ and ‘Raining In My Heart’. Win one of three pairs of tickets for the opening show on 7 February at Ashcroft Theatre, Croydon. Buddy-esque specs optional. Q How old was Buddy when he died?


Materia Herba by Korres (stockists 0870 850 3868) includes the 3-in-1 cleansing emulsion, anti-ageing favourites – the recharging organic Beech tree extract day cream, the green tea distillate infused eye cream and the intense nourishing night cream. These gorgeous products have been developed based on highly efficacious actives, oils, extracts, distillates and concentrates of natural origin, that are also organic certified. Beautiful. Q What is the epidermis commonly known as?


Creative Stitches And Hobbycraft at The Brighton Centre (11–13 February) is a must for the seasoned craft fan or complete beginners.

Ó TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 31 January.

011_LS509_cityspeak_Editorial 14/01/2011 15:05 Page 1


Teen Spirit

Life begins at 70 Ruby Grimshaw plans Christmas Day 2011


hat has my big mouth let spectator sport it sounded great fun. me in for now? I blame it We joined several hundred onlookers on the mulled wine, but the and cheered and whistled as around promise – which I’m going to 100 people clambered over the regret for the rest of the year – stones to enter the sea to the east of won’t go away... Brighton Pier. Afterwards, I was My approach to Christmas had congratulating the father of one of been progressing quite normally. I C’s friends. We were knocking back had dutifully trotted along to a paper cups of champagne and production of The Nutcracker at the mulled wine and he proudly told me Duke of York’s (this delightful ballet how old he was. has become as traditional as a carol “Oh, only a few years younger service). It was beautifully danced than me, then,” I replied. by the Bolshoi, beamed in live from I looked at the sun sparkling on Moscow, but I found the the calm sea and the Father choreography Christmas not as warm or Lifesavers cosy as the one I waving at us as saw in London a they sped niftily “No sooner were the few years ago. up and down on There was too words out my mouth their surfboards. much snowy Around me than a photo was waste and not people laughed enough warm and patted each taken to formalise fireside for me, other on the but that might back. It all my intention” have been a seemed so reaction to the attractive. I awful weather. wanted to be I also attended a magical part of it. “I’m sure I could do that performance of Handel’s Messiah at next year.” Brighton Dome. As always, it uplifted No sooner were the words out of me and reminded me that the my mouth than a photo was taken festive holiday is not just about to formalise my intention. presents and eating. Daughter C was not impressed. Then, on Christmas Day, Daughter “I suppose that means I’ll have to C asked if I wanted to go and watch as well.” She glared at me. “Do you the daring people who were taking to realise the water is four degrees?!” the sea at 11am. Some of her friends But it’s not the cold that is were joining the members of the terrifying me. It’s the thought of Brighton Swimming Club – who have everyone staring at the state of my a dip in the sea every day! As a stringy arms and scraggy legs.

Tasha Dhanraj is not a die-hard Bruce Willis fan


’ve crossed the first barrier in allow me to pretend that you’ve my relationship. I knew this been reading my column for long was coming. I’ve been waiting enough and studiously enough to for something to come up that remember that I hate films. I don’t would test the oceans of our see the point in them; they last attraction. I thought it would be too long and are generally dull. By something to do with our families, far the worst of all films are the or perhaps his distaste of vile and dreaded action genre. mushrooms, but no, it is ‘Ooh look he’s getting punched, oh something far more irreparable he’s been punched again. He fell and serious than that... His over. He’s got back up again. He’s favourite film is Die Hard. punching someone else. Oh, it is He made me watch Die Hard on so thrilling.’ Why would I want to New Year’s Eve. He keeps talking watch that for over 90 minutes? about Die Hard. The few films He loves Die I enjoy are Hard. I was ones like The “My boyfriend’s planning on Rocky Horror Die Hard obsession Show – (sexy having a romantic transvestites evening, just the highlights a key flaw singing) or two of us, a Willard (creepy in our relationship: bottle of wine loner man has and, for the first I am clearly his pet rats). My time in my life, boyfriend’s Die having someone intellectual superior” Hard obsession to kiss when the highlights a clock struck key flaw in our midnight. Instead, I got Die Hard, relationship: I am clearly his Bruce Willis’ least interesting and intellectual superior. He may have least appealing role. I say that, taken a GCSE when he was 10 like but the only other role I have seen some freaky child prodigy, but he is him playing was Rachel’s no match for me and my love of boyfriend in Friends and he disturbing cult films; films that annoyed me then. I understand obviously need a higher brain level why Rachel would go for the older to appreciate. He was doing ever so gentleman, but him, with all the well in all other aspects of our muscles and a face that looks like relationship that it seems a shame it had been crafted out of a melted to let him go. I’ll forgive him for this brick of Lego? Really? and get rid of him if he makes Please pander to my selfanother fatal blunder, like enjoying absorption for a moment and Lethal Weapon.

The strange thing is, I think I did. Not out of malice (I get on well with my colleague, even since the recent turbulence), or even through a very real desire to keep my job. I think, more than anything, some dark part of me wanted approval. Now, with not only the goalposts moved but the match called off entirely, it feels like I’ve been robbed of the endorsement being appointed on merit would have brought me. “When did I get so damaged?” I groan. “Of course I’m relieved. This is a win-win situation. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” “Not only have the “Hold that thought!” says Helen (also trained for goalposts been moved two decades in how to spot a brewing maelstrom of and start erecting emotional umbrellas like but the match has been self-pity her life depends on it). “Do you happen to have a of today’s Sun lying around?” called off entirely. It feels copy I wheel my chair over to the nearest pile. That’s the like I’ve been robbed” good thing about working in the media; you never have to buy newspapers. “Turn to page 19.” “What?” I squint down at the blurry picture before me. “Why are you in The Sun? No, wait... why are you attacking Prince Charles’ car?!” “Don’t! I’ve had it all morning. The police have released an image of some girl who has apparently stolen my face. She poked Camilla with a stick. It’s like I have an evil twin and she likes starting riots.” I cut out the picture and stick it on the wall above my desk. This, I think, laughing, is the best thing to happen to me all day.

William Tells Will Harris wins by default


h dear,” says Helen, demonstrating yet again the uncanny prescience that comes with speaking to someone on the phone every day for 20 years. “How are you feeling?” “It’s an odd one,” I say. “I keep waiting for an overwhelming feeling of joy to rush over me, but so far... nothing. It’s like my HR advisor has removed my heart and replaced it with a dead crow.” I should be happy. Really I should. After a month working under threat of redundancy and worrying about the future of my job, I arrived at the office all geared up for my redeployment interview. This was it. The final showdown. The main event. Me and my colleague were to go up against each other for the one remaining post in the department – not so much a fight to the death as a fight to the dole – and only one of us would emerge victorious. Then, my colleague announced she’d been offered a better job elsewhere, and the whole process was called off. Helen was the only one who would possibly understand. “Well, it’s no fun to win by default, is it?” she says. “Just look at Nick Clegg. Do you think that secretly you wanted to wipe the floor with her?”

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012_LS509_snapshots_Editorial 13/01/2011 14:03 Page 2


Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Chief Superintendent Graham Bartlett, Brighton & Hove Division

I am committed to understanding what crimes matter most to the public. This year I am determined to meet people’s expectations on neighbourhood policing with a greater presence on the street and a reduction of paperwork to release more officers for that work. People need to feel secure in their homes, at their leisure, and in the streets. They also need to have confidence in the police, so we can really work in partnership to make our city safe. I have worked in Brighton on and off for 22 years, and it is a privilege to have served this wonderful city in many roles over those years. I understand the city and am hugely passionate about it. I would like to keep it a safe place to live, work and visit.

Graham Bartlett has been a police officer in Sussex since 1983. Most of this time has been spent policing Brighton and Hove as both a patrol officer and a detective. Highlights of Graham's career include working with the Association of Chief Police Officers and the Home Office in bringing about the Protection from Harassment Act 1997. Chief Superintendent Graham Bartlett specialises in family violence and child detection. He was born and brought up in Shoreham-by-Sea.














FOR THE BEST TV, FILM AND VIDEO AT THE MOST AFFORDABLE PRICES LATEST TV 01273 687171 (Angi) or 07834 222342 (Bill) Check out to see the quality of our work

013_LS509_celebcity_Celebcity 14/01/2011 14:59 Page 1



Celebcity with Jo Brooks X-Factor’s Rachel & Rebecca’s Revenge; tailor to the stars Gresham Blake; marriage crisis for Katie Price

X Factor stars get Revenge


Top celebrity tailor Gresham Blake is celebrating 10 years in the business in 2011 by hosting an all singing and all dancing bash at the Hove Engineerium later this month. Gresham is no stranger to kitting out the odd celebrity with their whistles – having dressed Steve Coogan, Channel 4 newsreader Krishnan Guru-Murthy and hard man actor Ray Winstone to name but a few. The party will be hosted by the effervescent Gresham and will feature DJ sets from Fat Boy Slim, Orbital and live sets from Phats And Small and Amy Winehouse’s dad Mitch.


his month Revenge welcomes X-Factor finalists and superstars Rachel Adedeji and Rebecca Ferguson. Rachel, who appeared on the show in 2009 alongside Joe McElderry and Olly Murs, is tipped for the same success, becoming the first female of the 2009 competition to release a single. Her club smash ‘Follow The DJ’ is set to be a massive hit and is receiving impressive feedback from critics. Rachel will be performing her debut single at Revenge on 21 January 2011 from 10.30pm. The following week brings Rebecca Ferguson to the Revenge stage, Rebecca where she will perform a few of our favourite songs from her X-Factor shows including dance hit ‘Show Me Love’ and my favourite – the classic Eurhythmics track ‘Sweet Dreams’. Rebecca remained top of the votes throughout last year’s show, never Rachel appearing in the bottom two in any week and then beating off stiff competition from One Direction and Cher Lloyd, resulting in a place in the final with winner, Matt Cardle. See Rebecca’s live set on 28 January 2011, doors open from 10.30pm. For further information visit

KATIE’S FAVOURITE BOXER (AND IT’S NOT ALEX) Katie Price and Alex Reid are said to be announcing their separation any day now. It has been no secret that the couple’s relationship has been in turmoil for months, despite Katie and Alex’s denial that the relationship is still going strong. The couple, who have not yet been married for a year, have been hitting the tabloid headlines after Katie was pictured with boxing champ, Amir Khan, in both London and Las Vegas. It has also been reported that Katie has moved her sister into her Surrey mansion and that Alex is moving back to his mother’s house. Katie provoked more questions when, following a news report in a Sunday paper about the marrage split, Katie tweeted: ‘To answer my fans’ questions – News Of The World did a accurate story sunday about our marriage in crises [sic]. Always look on bright side xx’. Let’s hope there is less drama for Katie in 2011.

Have you spotted a celeb in the city?

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to

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019_LH509_Sussex Beacon_Seven Editorial 13/01/2011 16:13 Page 1


DOING THINGS BY HALVES Get complete satisfaction by taking part in Brighton Half Marathon 2011 in aid of The Sussex Beacon


righton Half Marathon takes place on Sunday 20 February. General public entries are sold out but the organising charity, The Sussex Beacon, has limited Sussex Beacon VIP Bond Places available at £75 per person. Visit or call 01737 814844 to secure your place and be part of the big day. The Sussex Beacon VIP Bond Runner exclusive package guarantees you a place in this year’s 21st anniversary race. You also receive a Brighton Half Marathon technical running T-shirt, discount vouchers from selected Brighton Half Marathon partners, an invite to the Brighton Half Marathon runners advice and gait analysis day with Brooks at Sweatshop in Brighton on Friday 28 January, and a 10 per cent discount on the exclusive Brighton Half Marathon Training Day on Saturday 22 January (subject to availability). A new flatter, faster route was announced for the 2011 Brighton Half Marathon, taking in many of Brighton’s iconic sights. The main race starts at 9am, with both the start and finish line on Madeira Drive at Brighton’s seafront. The number of places is limited to 8,000. As one of the longest established and most popular seafront races, the timing of the Brighton Half Marathon is perfectly suited as a warm-up race for all the major spring marathons, plus it is the first major city half marathon of the new year. Two, one-mile Youth Races will take place for young runners of all levels aged 8 to 11 and 12 to 16, giving them the chance to be chip timed, feel the race-day buzz and experience the crossing of a big finish line. Entries to the Youth Races are still open and cost £3/£2. The Co-operative Group is the headline sponsor

for the Youth Races, providing juice, water, fair-trade bananas and cotton bags on race day. ZT Kids Fit Skool support the Youth Races with dedicated kids’ training sessions open to all young runners registered. They will also be on site to help them warm up for the mile-long run along Madeira Drive. Passing It On, who organise the Heroes Run each May, have been chosen as the official partner charity for the Youth Races. There are various ways to get involved in the Brighton Half Marathon. Even if you are not a runner you can still actively contribute towards the success of the race and raising valuable funds for The Sussex Beacon. If one of your new year’s resolutions is to ‘do your bit for charity’ in 2011 then here is your chance. Call Lisette Glanvill on 01273 694222 for further details or check out the ‘How to get involved’ section on the website. There are various roles available to suit your lifestyle and the amount of time you can commit. Even just a couple of hours of your time can make a difference! Partners for the Brighton Half Marathon main race include Sweatshop, Brooks, Lucozade Sport, The Co-operative Group, VisitBrighton, Brighton & Hove City Council, Juice

107.2 FM and The Argus. Supporters of the Brighton Half Marathon include Studio57, ZT Fitness, ZT Kids Fit Skool, Sport Systems, NGP Events, Event Medic Services, SportCam, Breathe Unity PR, Door 22 Creative, Thistle, East Media Services, BN1, Passing It On, the AA, Sussex Police, GScene, Booker and Euroshopper. Brighton Half Marathon is organised by and is the main fundraiser for Brighton-based charity The Sussex Beacon. It is one of only two care centres of its kind in England providing innovative services to meet the changing needs of people living with HIV. For details about the Brighton Half Marathon, registration, route maps, runners’ info, training plans and how to join the volunteering team, visit Join the Facebook page or follow ‘BrightonHalf’ on Twitter. Brighton Half Marathon, Sunday 20 February.

020_LS509_Health_Seven Editorial 13/01/2011 15:52 Page 2


Something to smile about Zara Baker looks at ways cosmetic dentistry can transform lives & smiles


great smile is strived for and a lot easier to achieve thanks to advances in cosmetic dentistry. One of our first attractions to someone is a feature like their smile and while Hollywood films stereotype the British as having bad teeth – Austin Powers anyone? – the Hollywood 100KW brilliant white smile has crossed the pond and it seems there’s no excuse for a bad smile (except money, perhaps?). We may not have the funds of Simon Cowell or the nation’s favourite sweetheart Cheryl Cole, but with dentists offering finance options and interest-free packages, it’s worth looking into if you seek the perfect smile. The X-Factor judges are leading the way when it comes to sought-after health and beauty treatments: botox, veneers, teeth whitening, hairstyles – it seems if there’s a look worth striving for then Mr Cowell or Ms Cole have it covered. In the early days of Girls Aloud, Cheryl didn’t have the superstar smile she has today. Her perfect smile was achieved through veneers – thin porcelain, ceramic or composite bonding material cemented to the front surface of teeth to improve their cosmetic appearance. Think about false nails over your original misshaped and discoloured nails. Stained teeth that cannot be improved by teeth whitening, and chipped or broken teeth can benefit from veneers. Gaps between your teeth can also be closed with veneers for an even smile. Invisalign (invisible) braces are the latest craze among men and women wanting perfect teeth. Research by The Hospital Group has shown that men are also seeking the perfect smile, meaning it’s not just women who are leading the way with cosmetic dentistry. With Invisalign braces, a virtual 3D treatment plan shows the series of movements of your teeth over the course of the treatment. A series of nearly invisible, removable aligners are changed every fortnight. Each aligner is individually manufactured for your teeth. As you replace each aligner, your teeth will move – little by little – until they have straightened to the final position prescribed by your dental practitioner. Invisalign braces are the popular option for adults. Forget the image of ‘traintrack’ metal braces, today’s braces are comfortable and virtually invisible. Teeth whitening (forget the nightmare results of the teeth whitening treatment Ross received in Friends – along with his fake tan nightmare... why did it always happen to him?) teeth whitening can transform discoloured teeth. Laser/in-surgery teeth whitening with a proper consultation is recommended. It’s a bleaching process that uses a peroxide-based bleaching gel of varying strength (3–30 per cent peroxide). Laser teeth whitening or insurgery whitening takes one to two hours and produces instant whitening results. A consultation with your dentist beforehand will check you are suitable for the process. (Deciding factors include gum disease and other dental health problems.) The bleaching compound usually contains a high concentration of peroxide (15–30 percent) so your dentist will isolate your gums and lips with a protective material to avoid any potential damage or burning. Home whitening kits usually have a low concentration of peroxide so there is less chance of any damage, but stay safe and have your teeth whitened under the supervision of a dentist. Professional home whitening kits provide more permanent results over a longer period of time. Laser tooth whitening offers immediate results. A trip to the dentist’s chair is beneficial to maintain optimum oral health so don’t discard your regular treatment in place of a whitening (it’s only disguising the problem!). Cosmetic dentistry, however, is a great way to boost your self esteem. Always get a thorough consultation first on any procedure you are thinking of having done. You don’t need an entire makeover, 10 Years Younger style (unless that’s what you want). Gradual changes – Invisalign, whitening, veneers – can occur over time with results that will give you something to smile about.

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021_LS509_HAVIT_Editorial 14/01/2011 14:16 Page 1



Have it all! Si Beales takes a look at a successful Brighton & Hove business, HAVIT Fitness, and finds that a personal approach to fitness can really pay dividends


ike many people at this time of year I’ve been thinking about my personal fitness lately. For a number of years I have wanted to lose weight and feel fitter and more energetic. I’ve tried jogging and joined numerous gyms but always found that my discipline waned pretty quickly. Rather than getting fitter, I ended up sitting around, feeling guilty and reaching for just one more slice of cake to make me feel better. That was until I met Rob Callow from HAVIT, who launched his successful personal training company three years ago – and it’s going from strength to strength. HAVIT stands for Health & Vitality Individual Training, and Rob is committed to providing personal fitness and training services which encourage health and vitality for everyone. Rob believes that fitness, exercise and good nutrition are the key to health and happiness. He likes to take an holistic approach that focuses on his client’s individual requirements – but also takes account of their busy schedules. Over the few weeks that I have been training with Rob, I’ve found that my attitude to fitness, motivation and nutrition has totally changed. Initially, he used my one hour free consultation to find out a lot about my present state of health, past exercise experiences, and take a series of body measurements to

act as a benchmark for my current fitness level. We now meet for an hour, three times a week – either at my house, in a park or at a gym – and this variety and flexibility means that I actively look forward to my sessions. The combination of aerobic, free weight and boxing training means that I never get bored. And I’m looking forward to the end consultation where we retake my body measurements to see what progress I have made. It’s early days but I think that it will make a genuine difference. And when I compare the benefits to the cost of not going to the gym, it’s excellent value. Some of Rob’s other clients clearly feel the same. For example, Claire from Henfield who says: “Rob provided me with an excellent programme of exercise to strengthen and tone my muscles. His nutritional advice has also been invaluable. I have lost weight, toned up and feel fantastic!” Alongside nutritional advice, Rob also offers sports massage, bootcamps and a jog club in the local area. More details are available on his website and on Facebook under HAVIT Fitness. So if, like me, you feel that a more personal approach to fitness might be just the ticket, then HAVIT Fitness is just what you’re looking for. They’re a healthy business helping people get fitter and healthier. A great example of what Success & The City is all about. HAVIT Fitness: 07729 899 625,

If you would like to be considered for Success and the City please contact Si Beales at

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is neither a creature of whim or a victim of fashion. He has created a list of dishes that he can pull off with style and minimum fuss. He’s a stickler for quality, too. Once you know him don’t be surprised to see him in Waitrose picking up the smoked salmon. So what about the food? Well it’s rich, classic bistro fare with starters like stuffed mushrooms and main courses like calves liver. It’s all generous portions, well cooked and very tasty. Really, it’s hard to fault the menu despite it being what I would politely define as ‘retro’. The fact that it is a tad old fashioned is t’s coming up to 15 years since I first started writing a food column here in probably why I love it so much. That and Brighton. Back then, it was in our grandparent mag, The Punter, on a Barry himself. monthly basis. I remember my first one published was about a trip to You see, the thing about this place is Donatello with teen fiction author Louise Rennison, that you come as much for the man as for before she invented Georgia and became the menu. Every guest is greeted with internationally famous. Donatello was as good then “At the helm of the Tureen both charm. Barry clearly weighs up who is in as it remains today. the room and judges how to deal with them. It wasn’t long before I paid a visit to another long- then and now was a man called From then on it’s as much a cabaret as a time favourite restaurant in Upper North Street dinner. Don’t get me wrong, Barry is never Barry. Everyone knew Barry called The Tureen. 20 years ago, Mr L and I dined rude – far from it, he is totally charming. there when we returned from a heavy day at the coal But he does have an acid wit and a sharp because Barry was The Tureen” face of modern publishing in London. The food was tongue and the better you get to know him always good, the room always smart and the price the sharper that tongue can become. was sensibly affordable. Late last year we went along as a large group for At the helm of The Tureen both then and now was a man dinner with visiting friends from America. Barry set called Barry. Everyone knew Barry because Barry was The a great big table for us and proceeded to make Tureen. He did everything from meet and greet to seat everyone, including the Americans, feel totally at and finally sweet. If he had a large number of bookings home. The Yankee boys are big guys and big eaters then he would have some help but on the whole, Barry so Barry’s style of food suited them well, but they was in charge of the entire process. And, to this day, he too were equally bowled over by the entire still is. He’s priceless too; a real Brighton jewel, which is experience. “Unique and delicious,” they cried and I no doubt why, at some point along the way, the name totally agree. became Barry At The Tureen. We dined well and drank plenty and, still, the bill Over the years I have eaten there on many occasions, was modest. The wine list, small as it is, is very well simply because the food is good and the experience priced and the set price for dinner at £22 for three brilliant. The menu remains virtually unchanged – Barry courses is pretty unbeatable.

Food & Drink

Andrew Kay on the Brighton legend that is Barry At The Tureen

A class act I

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light bites Jeremy’s

Fans of Jeremy’s fine restaurant at Borde Hill will be pleased to hear they have introduced a new menu of the day. Priced at £15 for two courses and £18 for three, it promises to be an absolute hit. Available Tuesday to Saturday lunchtimes and Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings, this is the ideal way of getting to experience the quality of the cuisine at the well respected Sussex favourite. Jeremy Ashpool and his wife

Barry is a legend and so is his restaurant. An ideal place for a quiet supper – well quiet-ish, Barry does have a rather waspish sense of how to to make everyone’s evening fun. It is also great for larger parties and can be booked for private dinners. Booking is essential as the restaurant does opens when there are tables reserved. If you are passing by and they are open, it is worth popping in on the off chance that there is space. There you have it, Barry is the Peter Pan of Brighton’s restaurant scene. I know, I sort of wanted the title for myself but this man beats me hands down. Barry At The Tureen, 31 Upper North Street, Brighton, BN1 3FG, 01273 328939 Where do you go for great food and great value?

Elvira have been delighting diners for many years. The mere mention of the place sends Mr R into a state of revery as he remembers what has to be the best sticky toffee pudding in the world and my memory of creamy mashed


potato dotted with wild garlic flowers has a similar effect. Jeremy’s, Borde Hill Garden, Borde Hill Lane, Haywards Heath, West Sussex RH16 1XP, 01444 441102,


The Kemp Brasserie in St George’s Road has re-opened as 24 St George’s Road under completely new management. A quick glimpse at the menu looks very tempting, and I will certainly be going along in the very near future to give it a try.

Salt caramel

I further expanded my study of salt caramel chocolate truffles over the holidays and I am delighted to confirm that those made by Terre à Terre remain at the top of my list. In second place came Artisan du Chocolat, which are extremely good and a close runner up. In third place are Waitrose’s own label, which were good but not good enough to knock the city’s own off the top placing. Audrey’s Violet and Rose Creams remain my top choccie choice but I have developed a passion for Marks & Spencer’s salt caramel bottled sauce, which is very dangerous stuff indeed – beware! follow me on twitter


024_LS509_Hotlist_Hotlist 14/01/2011 13:26 Page 2



L7 Hotlist Eateries and bars catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit American Rock & Roller

Enjoy fabulous American-inspired food – including mammoth home-made burgers (beef, chicken and vegetarian), locally smoked ribs and sizzling steaks – at Rock & Roller. Upstairs you’ll find an entire floor dedicated to pool, with five tables to choose from. Join the Pool Loyalty Scheme – play nine hours and get a tenth hour free. 95 Western Rd, Brighton, BN1 2LB, 01273 710014,

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321,

French Cocoa Patisserie

British & modern European

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412


New Steine Bistro

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

The Dyke

Superb rustic Tuscan menu mingled with English classics. Locally sourced or organic ingredients and rapidly gaining a reputation as one of Brighton’s most stylish eateries. One side is a proper pub with excellent real ales and log fire; the other a very grown-up stylish restaurant. It’s very child (and dog!) friendly too, and has a big garden for those late summer evenings. Lunch 12pm–3pm; dinner 6.30pm–9.45pm. 218 Dyke Road, Brighton, 01273 555672,

The Gallery Restaurant

If you’re looking for an independent restaurant offering some of the very best steaks and British dishes then why not try The Gallery Restaurant? Located in an old fishing cottage in the very heart of Brighton's Lanes The Gallery Restaurant prides itself in offering the very best dishes, service and ambience – British style! In the summer they boast one one Brighton’s largest alfresco terraces but in the winter the mood is relaxed and welcoming. Try the lunch two-course menu for just £9.95 and the evening menu two-course menu for £13.95. 28 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL 01273 773327,

The Restaurant At Drakes

With an air of relaxed glamour, exemplary service and the finest modern European cuisine in town, the 2AA Rosette fine-dining restaurant provides the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Two courses for £29; three courses for £39; fivecourse Gourmet Chef’s Taster Menu for £50. Private dining room with designated waiter for up to 12 people. 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934,

The Townhouse Restaurant

Located in the vibrant Kemp Town area of Brighton, The Townhouse provides a welcome change from stuffy restaurant dining, offering relaxed service and unpretentious food. Utterly chilled out, The Townhouse not only has a dining room and bar in which to enjoy the company of friends, but a piano room too. With a head chef all the way from London’s Dorchester Hotel, The Townhouse’s food is truly delicious. Fabulous dishes, staff and ambience – British style!  81–82 St James’s Street, Kemp Town, Brighton BN2 1PA 01273 693216,

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs. No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude: everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm. 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415


The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135,

Thai The Green Mango


Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707,

The Chilli Pickle

Winner of two AA Rosette awards, The Chilli Pickle is an Indian bistro in the heart of the North Lanes. The food is regional Indian cuisine executed at the highest level. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food as well as a good selection of Thalis, Kathi Kebabs and the ever popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian Beers, Original IPA, luxury loose teas and a well thought out wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824,

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477,

Chinese Gars Restaurant

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10.

Fat Leo


The Green Mango has arrived to spice up Brighton and Hove! This modern Thai restaurant is committed to giving you the complete Thai experience, with the most authentic food possible. Lunch starts at

£4.95, and we're open every day, so come down and “gin yur yur” (eat a lot!) 8 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL, 01273 327226,


Sawadee Thai Restaurant has been offering a warm welcome on St James’s Street to regular customers and new visitors to Brighton for nearly 10 years. Their experienced Thai chefs cook to order, so every dish is freshly made and comes to your table straight from wok or grill. The menu features plenty of seafood, simple grilled meats, traditional thai curries and tasty stirfry dishes. Their set menus and lunch platters are a great way to try lots of different Thai tastes. 87 St James’s Street, Brighton, BN2 1TP, 01273 624233,

025_LS509_bookingschart_011_LS466_interview 14/01/2011 11:41 Page 1


L7 Bookings

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to

On sale this week…

Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 8 Latest 1 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know 2 Panos Christofi – Sunshine 3 The Fooley Mantras – Best In People 4 The Last Cry – Rebekka 5 Hold Fire – Emma-Louise 6 Left Hand Red – Transition 7 ULTRALITES – Mucho Peso Ft. Mo 8 Duke Monorail – Monorail 9 The Fooley Mantras – Break Away

Craig Campbell


Ropetackle Centre, 8pm, 25 February, £13, 01273 464440, The misanthropic award-winning comic brings his successful 2010 Edinburgh show to Shoreham.


Komedia, 14 April, £12/10, 0845 293 8480, Internationally acclaimed stand-up Craig Campbell – currently supporting Frankie Boyle on his record breaking 120-date tour and recently seen on Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow (BBC1) and Russell Howard’s Good News (BBC3) – embarks on his first UK tour.

Elaine Paige


Brighton Centre, 2 July, 7.30pm, £36.50 01273 290131, Marking the 10th anniversary of the Here And Now tour, this line-up is bigger than any mere blast from the past. Check out Boy George, Jason Donovan, Jimmy Somerville, Belinda Carlisle, Midge Ure, A Flock Of Seagulls and Pepsi & Shirlie.

10 Jim Guittard – The Sun Shines Today 2011 is continuing to look like a good a year for Panos Christofi after his Christmas Number One. The electro-pop singer-songwriter this week takes both the Number One and two slots with ‘I’ll Never Know’ and ‘Sunshine’ respectively as the mod-influenced rockers The Fooley Mantras take this chart’s bronze medal with the laid-back ‘Best In People’. Meanwhile, the decent shoegaze-influenced rockers The Last Cry claim the number four position with ‘Rebekka’ as Brighton-based indie rockers Hold Fire take five with ‘Emma Louise’, a rare top five appearance for the local youngsters who have supported the likes of Toploader, One Night Only and Cage The Elephant.

11 Millsy Slug Music 22 The Magik Word Spooky Common Enemies 12 Red Sea Sharks

23 Afterspark Little Glow

13 Fooley Mantras

24 Alexxa B

14 Millsy Slug Music

25 Jaybee

Eastbourne Congress, 3 March, £27.50–£35, 01323 412000, Star of stage for long enough to make her a bit of a legend, Elaine Paige is the voice to make ‘Memories’ a classic and many more besides.

15 Red Sea Sharks

26 Hollywood


17 Millsy Slug Music


All I Wanna Be

Komedia, 31 March, £12/22, 0845 293 8480, Musical comedy that’s both intelligent and good natured from this Komedia favourite. Glad to see him back!

Our Time Zippit


Komedia, 2 February, £7.50/5, 0845 293 8480, The media meet up is all ready to be enthralled by exclusive interviews with BBC Four Controller Richard Klein, and actress and singer Clare Grogan, best known for the 1981 film Gregory's Girl and for ‘80s pop group Altered Images.

The Circle

16 Millsy Slug Music

Sky Blue Pink

My Giddy Aunt

18 Mara Project

The Path You Take

19 Slipp Electro


Concorde 2, 16 February, £12, 01273 673311, Locally born band The Go! Team push musical boundaries of indie and garage rock with their unique set up and attitude. Rumours of new material being showcased here abound.


Jon Richardson

Duke of York’s Picturehouse, 6 March, £10 adv, 8.30pm 0871 902 5728, Aidan Moffat from Arab Strap performs a solo show, plus very special guest Human Don't Be Angry (aka Malcolm Middleton) supports. So that’s Arab Strap’s solo projects then.

ft Osaro It’s Lifting Me

20 White Star Liners

Anak Krakatau Sinner

Assassins Swithblade

27 Harper Ash

China Girl

28 Dance Paris

Dance These Games

29 Automatic Shoes

Your Father

30 Joe Woodham

Girl At The Circus

Tyre Pressure Was The Least Of His Worries

21 Jamie Smith

Wheels Upon Wheels



026_029_LS509_previews_editorial 14/01/2011 15:22 Page 2



L7 Previews STAGE: ALIVE & SWINGING Spend a night with Marilyn Monroe


h for those heady days of cabaret bars and dinner theatre, a relaxed atmosphere, a few drinks, a bite to eat, dancing and some great acts... hang on, what’s this, Komedia are doing it now? Yes it’s true and following the success of Faulty Towers (sic) and Krater Christmas, Komedia now host Alive And Swinging – an evening spent with some of the most iconic performers of the last century, or at least their very best tribute acts, although we hesitate to use the term as this Marilyn is far sexier than the original. So what’s the scene? Well, Marilyn Monroe is finding Heaven a bore, no drinking smoking or sex, and worst of all, no swinging music. She returns to Earth for one more night of fun, bringing old showbiz fling Frank Sinatra, and Las Vegas legend Elvis Presley. You can join these three superstars, special guests and plenty of swing as they sing and dance away their final night on Earth, until the voice of god finds them missing and demands they return to Heaven. Including Laura Nixon, the UK’s number one Marilyn Monroe tribute act, Paul Roberts, formerly of The Stranglers, as Frank Sinatra and Ivor Potter (Suspiciously Elvis) as the King Elvis Presley. Alive & Swinging, Komedia, 22 January, 9pm and 27 February, 8pm, £22/15, 0845 293 8480,

Sleeping beauty

THEATRE: MOSCOW CITY BALLET A chance to see two fine productions from leading exponents of the classical dance form and one of Russia’s leading touring ballet companies. Sleeping Beauty on nights one and two followed by Swan Lake in all it tutued glory.A huge hit when they came last year and bound to delight once again. Theatre Royal Brighton, 26–29 January, 08448 717 650

THEATRE : A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM Young theatre-lovers in Crawley can look forward to a taste of the Bard’s work from award-winning Shakespeare 4 Kidz in February. The company has revived its hit musical adaptation of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Fairies and fun, royalty and romance, magic and misunderstandings: A Midsummer Night’s Dream has them all and more. So, little wonder this enchanting play is one of the most popular ever written. The Hawth, 7 February 10.30am & 1.30pm, £16/£8, 01293 553636,

follow me on twitter latestandrew

A MIdsummer Night’s Dream

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

026_029_LS509_previews_editorial 14/01/2011 15:23 Page 3 xxx

LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 27 CLUBS: BORN BAD A wild and sexy night of delinquent rhythms with red hot rockabilly, ‘50s rock'n'roll, ‘60s garage and girl groups, surf, sleaze, bop and exotica for discerning hep cats and kittens. Komedia, 21 January, 11pm–3am, £6/5 CLUBS: THE DOCTOR'S ORDERS PRESENTS JAZZIE B Original funky dread, Soul II Soul legend Jazzie B joins us for the first party of 2011, and oh what a party it will be. With an OBE, an Ivor Novello, two Grammys, the freedom of five US Cities and 6.8 million album sales across 35 territories, clearly the only thing missing from Jazzie’s CV is a knighthood. Jam, 22 January, 11pm–4am, £7/5 CLUBS: YE YE FEVER Watch out, Ye Ye Fever is contagious. With Afro beats that get you up on the dancefloor to joyous sounds of a continent fuelled with atmosphere and passion, from Afrobeat to Mbaqanga and OK Jazz to funky highlife. Boys and girls, I think it's time to tie your dancing shoe laces. Komedia, 22 January, 10.30pm–3am, £5/4 MUSIC: FLASH BANG BAND + STARS AND SONS Local bands Flash Bang Band and Stars and Sons have been allowed to use a Brighton and Hove double decker bus for an evening of live music whilst travelling the streets of

the city. Flash Bang's American style indie-psychedelia is a perfect complement to Stars and Sons melodic, Beach Boysesque flamboyance. It's in aid of Martlets Hospice. Only 60 tickets are available. There's an after party at Northern Lights on Little East Street. Details are a little bit sketchy at the moment but check them out on Facebook for the lowdown... Various locations, 24 January, 7pm, £5, MUSIC: PRJCT MYHM Part filthy dubstep basslines, part electroclash, part hip-hop, part punk, this three piece don’t take themselves too seriously what with their monikers being Captain Clamp, Princess Sections and Troystick. Their sexy grooves will be supported by the live drums/sample pad combo of ...& i, the complex rhythms of Dalla Russia, and the 8bit experimental blue-chip madness of Terror8ITe. Latest Musicbar, 19 January, 8pm, £6/5 MUSIC: CITIZEN FISH Veteran ska punk band, a long-term project of The Subhumans. Still uncompromising, still railing against the forces of evil (albeit in a rather amusing way), still sounding good. They are headlining as part of a Schnews benefit. Schnews being a locally produced direct-action newsletter that attempts to provide the ‘real’ news... Not for the faint-hearted. Support comes from Rita Lynch. Hector’s House, 22 January, 8pm, £5

Citizen fish

MUSIC: LET’S BE FRANK Jeff Hemmings talks to folky maverick Ani DiFranco


ince Ani bucked the major label system back in the early ‘90s, opting to release her music on her own terms, the self-styled Little Folksinger has been the subject of all kinds of hyperbole. As the cracks in the music industry get larger and more big name artists follow this ultimate DIY artist (Radiohead, Madonna, Nine Inch Nails etc), she continues to plough her own maverick course. Relentlessly touring for the last 20 years, she's released nearly an album a year since her 1990 debut. In 2006 she received the Woman Of Courage Award, awarded to women for their contributions to the feminist movement. Through her Righteous Babe Foundation, DiFranco has backed various grassroots cultural and political organisations, supporting causes ranging from abortion rights to gay visibility (she herself is a self-proclaimed bisexual). A sophisticated lyricist, her folk-rock stylings have reached a crossover audience over the years and has collaborated with the likes of Prince and Maceo Parker. "Folk music is not an acoustic guitar... I use the word 'folk' in reference to punk music and rap music. it's an attitude, it's an awareness of one's heritage, and it's a community. It's sub-corporate music that gives voice to different communities and their struggle against authority," she says. Autobiographical and political, many of her songs are concerned with contemporary social issues and it's this combination of the personal and political that initially helped her popularity especially amongst politically active students. Ownership of her own label has allowed DiFranco a great deal of artistic freedom, and references to her independence from major labels abound in her work such as ‘The Million You Never Made’, ‘The Next Big Thing’ and ‘Napoleon’, a song that sympathises sarcastically with an unnamed friend who did sign with a label. And her friendship with Prince extends to the fact that she often appears with him in discussing publicly the problems associated with major record labels. More recently she has released a collection of poems called Verses and an album Red Letter Year. "When I listen to my new record, I hear a very relaxed me.... my baby, she teaches me how to just be in my skin, to do less and be more." Ani DiFranco, Tuesday 18 January, Komedia. 7.30pm, SOLD OUT follow me on twitter


TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

Komedia Brighton Thurs 3rd Feb // 7.30pm // £15

01892 557333 or

026_029_LS509_previews_editorial 14/01/2011 15:23 Page 4



Nick Helm

Sajeela Kershi

COMEDY: LAST LAUGHS Victoria Nangle kicks off the comedy competition season with some heats close to home


eciding what is funny has been an age old argument not made any clearer by the introduction of competitions to declare who is funniest. But if aspiring comics are putting themselves forward in a bid to say that the winner should be them they’ve generally had a good shot at getting their material the sharpest and most original they can, as well as gigging it around the new-act circuit for a while to work on their audience rapport and gag delivery. In short, comedy competitions may not be good for clearing up ancient arguments but they’re generally quite good for any audience who happens along. With 15 acts a night putting on their best game for what they hope will be a career-making mile stone, variety in styles, attitudes and humour are a guarantee as everyone jostles to stand out above the rest. Plus, this is one of the best competitions in the country and the first to start its heats. The Laughing Horse New Act Of The Year competition has got good form, with previous winners and finalist including Russell Kane (2010’s Edinburgh Award winner), Carl Donnelly, Nina Conti, Jack Whitehall, Greg Davies, Andi Osho, Imran Yusuf, Henning Wehn and the fabulous Rhod Gilbert. These three heat’s represent fabulous Brighton’s offerings and is hosted by the delectable Sajeela Kershi, Laughing Horse Comedy’s regular Brighton compere every Saturday night of the year. So, support your local comedy champions and catch the next big thing at the same time, all on top form and wanting your love and laughter. There will be more competitions as the year progresses but this one is the only one filled with New Year cheer. Heat Of Laughing Horse New Act Of The Year 2011, The Quadrant Pub, 23–25 January, 8.30pm, £6/5 follow me on twitter


COMEDY: IOU COMEDY Brilliant Monday comedy with Chortle Award nominee 2011 Nick Helm (results pending – see if you want to vote for him when you go along tonight) headlining a night of excellent acts. Catch Mr Helm at these intimate venues and affordable prices while you can. Jam, 24 January, 8pm, £3 COMEDY: PUNT AND DENNIS Stars of Radio 4's The Now Show, remembered for revolutionary The Mary Whitehouse Experience on BBC2 along with David Baddiel and Rob Newman, and now both successful actors and writers, enjoy the calibre of the material as they return to touring after a four year break. Only a few tickets left. Theatre Royal, Brighton, 21 January, 7.30pm, £24

Punt and Dennis

COMEDY: THE TREASON SHOW Mark Brailsford and his infamous Treason Show gang of satirists bring you a brand new show of songs and sketches based on all the news that’s worth reporting in 2011. Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 21–22 January, 8pm, £12.50/10 EVENTS: WILL SELF IN: WHAT’S NEW ABOUT THE NEW YEAR? What exactly is new about the New Year? Do Cameron and Clegg share the same photocopier user number? To discuss the answers to serious questions, and other burning issues, join Will Self, author and also panel star of Shooting Stars, in conversation with Matthew De Abaitua. Komedia, 24 January, 7.30pm, £12 EVENTS: A LOOK AT BRIGHTON LIFE 1914 – 1930 An interesting and informal talk by Paul Jordan, Senior History Centre Officer. Find out the way in which the lives of the people of Brighton were affected by events and developments that took place in the 20th century. Brighton History Centre, Brighton Museum, Royal Pavilion Gardens, 20 January, 2.30pm, free EVENTS: DOODLE DATE – CREATIVE SPEED DATING If you're getting bored of cruising bars and waiting for so called 'Mr or Ms Right' to turn up, then come along to a speed-dating session with a twist. Meet other likeminded creative people and let your inner self do the talking. No three minute interviews and no artistic talent required. Phew. The Quadrant Pub, 18 January, 7.30pm, £10, 25–35 year olds, pre booking essential. To book visit or call 07854 115 403

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

0844 504 0004

Employment opportunities. Due to our organic expansion we are looking for experienced security staff for both retail & licensed venues. If you hold an SIA Security or Door Supervision license please email with your full CV & photo. You’ll be a valued member of our team! – security you can depend on! Enquiries:

026_029_LS509_previews_editorial 14/01/2011 15:31 Page 5

Supported by

LATEST PREVIEWS ART&FILM ART: THE END OF LISTENING On 20 April 1914, immediately before the outbreak of the First World War, Futurist artist Luigi Russolo, premiered a performance of a revolutionary noise symphony Awakening Of A City. Almost a century later, a group of artists, led by Brighton-based Sound Artist, Joseph Young, have come together to respond to the surviving seven bars of the printed score in a series of 'ReAwakenings'. The sound files are available online at The End of Listening (ReAwakening of a City no.5), a&e Gallery, 38a Cheltenham Place, until 23 January


ART: PIGMENT & LIGHT The exhibition showcases the work of three painters from the Phoenix Art Gallery in June Frickleton Brighton. Andrew Gifford creates luminous installations made from pure pigment, perspex, neon and tungsten light which reflect the colour harmonies found in his figurative landscapes. June Frickleton’s abstract paintings deal with pure colour and form – an intensity that is heightened by the use of a reduced palette. And, Julian Vilarrubi is inspired by the views from around his studio. There is a free Meet The Artists event on Saturday 5 February at 2pm. Phoenix Art Gallery, Waterloo Place, 01273 603700, until 20 February

FILM: BLACK SWAN(15) Director: Darren Aronofsky

FILM: THE DILEMMA (12A) Dir: Ron Howard Starring Vince Vaughan and Kevin James. You’ve seen a Judd Apatow movie so you’re familiar with the concept. Ronny and Nick are bestest buddies, not only are they mates, they work together and are about to go for a businesschanging pitch when Ronny spots Nick’s wife out with another man. What’s going on? That’s what he’s going to find out, putting his pal first and mayhem a close second. Released 21 January. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld


arren Aronofsky is a director with form for good dark movies. With Pi, The Wrestler and Requiem For A Dream (screening after the evening show of Black Swan at the Duke Of York’s Picturehouse on Friday 21 January) under his belt already, when his latest offering is described as ‘a psychological thriller’, you can be sure this will go deeper than the usual pap scares. The story focuses on Nina, played by Natalie Portman, a feature dancer with the New York City ballet vying for the lead role in Swan Lake. With pressure from her former dancer mother (Barbara Hershey), and new rival Lily (Mila Kunis) apparently perfect for the role already, Nina reaches further into herself to discover a darker side to help her play the duplicitous swan queen, unearthing more than she ever realised could be there. Addressing fragile balances, friendships and already nominated for four Golden Globes citing Best Picture as well as gongs for the director and two young leads, this certainly looks likely to be impacting the Oscars later in the year. Released 21 January. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Duke Of York’s Picturehouse

For full details of film times:

Listings Send your stage listings to: Send your comedy listings to: Send your events listings to: Send your arts listings to: Send your music listings to: Send your club listings to: Send your gay listings to:

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: On your mobile:

tue jan 18

thu jan 20

sat jan 22

sue richardson trio

cafe bar:

sue’s musical journey has seen her gigging in over 50 countries, she was chosen as a finalist both in the marion montgomery awards at the jazz divas festival, and the jazz services promoters’ choice awards. doors 7pm, show 8pm, price: £6

cafe scientifique

to book your private party, wedding or anniversary call 01273 687171 or email

cabaret bar:

wed jan 19

prjct myhm + …& i + dalla russia + terror8ite part filthy dubstep basslines, part electroclash, part hip-hop, part punk part tons-of-other-genres. doors: 7pm show:8pm price: £5 adv/ £6

allergies, wheezes and sneezes, itches and rashes. this talk will discusses the causes of allergies in more detail and the development of methods for their treatment. doors: 7pm, show: 7.30pm, £free (collection made to cover costs)

fri jan 21 to book your private party, wedding or anniversary contact emma on 01273 687171 or email

sun jan 23

see website for details mon jan 24 cafe bar:

t.u.r.d.s. this month the ukulele research & development society will be celebrating burns night. expect the usual filth and innuendo from glaswegian compere jimmy mcgee. doors: 7.30pm, show: 8pm price: £2 or free to perform

030_LS509_Stars-TV column _024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 14/01/2011 13:05 Page 2






818 – 24 JANUARY8

With Val Aviv

Telly Talk

HARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

Impulsive urges for forceful self expression may be hard to keep under control. Communications with important people should give you indications of changes to come. You are now officially the luckiest sign in the zodiac.

HTAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

If you’re feeling adventurous and braver than usual, what would normally seem like an uncalculated gamble now feels more appealing. It could be a good time to take a leap of faith into the discovery of the unknown.

HGEMINI {May 22–June 21}

A message you receive at the start of the week is going to hold a lot of weight. While you have piercing concentration, look deeper for an answer to a nagging question. Love is lucky this week.

HCANCER {June 22–July 22}

The full moon in your sign is your yearly opportunity to be honest with yourself about your emotional needs. If an important relationship cannot offer security, you might want to move on. Trust your intuition.

HLEO {July 23–Aug 22}

You’re more gregarious than usual but you may find that on every corner you turn someone’s talking about it. There’s only one thing worse than being talked about and that’s NOT being talked about. Take it in your stride.

HVIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

It’s fortuitous that you will have the right words, at the right time and in the right place. You have the kind of authority that cannot be ignored. Use it wisely and some positive changes can be made.

HLIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

While you may have been spending more time at home lately, opportunities for fun and romance will soon be spring-boarded into your life. A significant turn around in love should soon ensure your hands are full.

With Victoria Nangle

The fat lady sings H

attie Jacques, Carry On icon and Eric Sykes’ comic foil for many years, famously said that if you’re fat you’re funny. In these days of an obese society you can do so much more if you’re fat than make people laugh. You’ve got to. There are so many more talented fat people. And Ruth Jones, who plays Hattie in this biopic based upon Andy Merriman's book Hattie Jacques, The Authorised Biography, agrees. Handy that. This 90 minute one-off Hattie, takes a slice of the comic actress’ life and focusses, specifically, on the time surrounding her marriage to Dad’s Army actor John Le Mesurier and her affair with John Schofield during that marriage. I’ve got to say, as hot as Aidan Turner (he of the fangs from Being Human) is, his John Schofield is all passion and no compassion. Maybe that’s how John Schofield was, or maybe I’m just getting old in prefering the understated devotion of Robert

HSCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

While you’re keen to exercise the use of your emotional intelligence, you may find you’re feeling rather rational and level headed. This cool objective stance can really help important communications flow with ease.

HSAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

This week as Venus is giving you lashings of charm, let us hope you play fair in matters of the heart. And bring your extraordinary gift for expansive ideas into work. Both will be well received.

HCAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

You are the channel for a strong force for better or worse. Powerful energies give you the gift of poignant communication and insightful thoughts. Stay positive to ensure you get the best from yourself and others.

HAQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

Fancy a boost or a soothing ego rub? I hope so, because that’s what you’ll get. With a powerful visit from Mar, it’s going to be easy to clear away the cobwebs and launch yourself into the future with vigour.

HPISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

While you are looking so charming and rising naturally into the favour of the public eye, finances are soon to reflect this and fortuitous opportunities to increase your bank balance will soon become glaringly apparent. Val Aviv is the presenter for Brighton Lights on Latest TV For more astrological insights and monthly horoscopes visit or for a personal astrological reading contact Val Aviv at:

Brighton Lights

“Ruth Jones’ portrayal of Hattie as a woman torn between her heart and her love is heartwarming” Bathurst (David off Cold Feet)’s John Le Mes. Ruth Jones’ portrayal of Hattie as a woman torn between her heart and her love is heartwarming and engaging. The many layers of the accomplished actress, her insecurities about her size and age and her flawed loveliness is charmingly brought to us on a silver platter by Jones. As a sidebar, Ruth Jones’ clipped English accent is flawless. Used to seeing her as Nessa in Gavin And Stacey, I don’t know why I expected her Hattie Jacques to come from the Valleys but I did. However, Jones’ English accent is so good I actually forgot what her Welsh vowels sounded like altogether within 10 minutes of play. Not quite the case with Aidan Turner’s Celtic brogue, which translated into Schofield’s rougher side of the tracks English speech – although that could just be that his accent went well with him in jarring with everything else in Hattie’s middle class London Bohemian life. We’ve all had that one lover we knew was no good from the offset. Sometimes they’ve turned out to be the one, sometimes they’ve been the one that got away, and sometimes they were the one you needed to get away from. Maybe John Schofield was all of these to Hattie Jacques. What’s clear is that Ruth Jones and Andy Merriman have made sure the waters stay muddied, staunchly preventing a complex relationship from falling neatly into a black and white anecdote in British celebrity history. Hattie, Wednesday 19 January, BBC4. follow me on twitter

If you want to join us in creating a TV channel for Brighton on terrestrial TV come to Latest MusicBar. 5.30pm Tuesdays


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tuesday 18 Holby City BBC1, 8pm Ooh la la, a sexy dalliance with Mary-Claire lands Greg in trouble with Elliot. With Keiran gone, Donna throws herself into work. But her kamikaze actions alienate her staff, and drive Mark to distraction. Plus, Chrissie realises that Sacha still holds a torch for her. Someone couldn’t afford to pay the leccy bill then.

Big Fat Gypsy Weddings Channel 4, 9pm Docu series looking at 21stcentury gypsies and travellers through the prism of weddings, christenings and celebratory events. So what happens during the various milestones in a gypsy girl’s life, including her wedding day? Well you could either cross our palms with silver, or watch this programme. You decide.

The Biggest Loser ITV2, 8pm How many New Year’s resolutions have you broken? Well, this lot are still going strong in their battle of the bulge. Divisions emerge over what people eat and the pink team, who cannot swim, run into probs with the water challenge. At the weigh-in, there are some dramatic results and surprises.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Land Girls 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Me And My Monsters 4.00 My Almost Famous Family 4.30 Blue Peter 4.55 Shaun The Sheep 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 7.45am Children’s television 7.45 Eliot Kid 8.00 Mission: 2110 8.30 LazyTown 8.55 Numberjacks 9.10 The Koala Brothers 9.25 Sesame Tree 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Chuggington: Badge Quest 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Ready Steady Cook 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Bowls: World Championships 3.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 EastEnders Carol’s shocking confession to Bianca sets in motion a chain of events that lead to tragedy for the family. 8.00 Holby City See highlights. 9.00 Silent Witness Having established that Lieutenant Lockford was murdered, Leo makes a startling breakthrough, and the investigation begins to unmask a dark secret at Hillsdon Army Base. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Kara Tointon: Don’t Call Me Stupid Actress Kara Tointon confronts how dyslexia is defining her and how different her condition makes her life from those of her friends and family. As she sets out to be tested and undergo specialist help, she asks whether she can ever stop dyslexia holding her back. 11.35 FILM: Trust The Man (2005) Starring David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Billy Crudup, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Glenn Fitzgerald. Romantic comedy about two couples fighting to save their relationships. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.45 Alan Titchmarsh’s Garden Secrets 2.45 Climbing Great Buildings 3.15 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 4.00 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Don’t be a chicken – give this quiz a shot. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo takes to the tracks with a copy of George Bradshaw’s Victorian Railway Guidebook. 7.00 Simon King’s Shetland Diaries Spring arrives in Shetland, bringing with it an influx of wildlife from all over the world. 8.00 Natural World Special It’s the largest and most ambitious habitat recreation project ever known: to bring back to life one of the world’s greatest marshlands. And it’s happening in Iraq. 9.00 Britain’s Banks: Too Big To Save? The BBC’s business editor Robert Peston looks at how the international regulators, a little-known and secretive committee that sits in the Swiss city of Basel, have consistently failed to curb the excesses of the giant banks and how new proposals fall short of the root-and-branch reform promised after the crash. 10.00 Have I Got News For You News quiz. 10.30 Newsnight With Kirsty Wark. 11.20 The Planets Documentary series tracing mankind’s exploration of our solar system. 12.10am Bowls: World Championships Bowls 1.10 BBC News


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Doc Martin 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Andy feels the pressure as the investigation continues. Charity enjoys making Cain jealous. Brenda struggles to cope with her grief. 7.30 Grimefighters An abandoned house in Reading reveals some horrors. 8.00 The Secret Mediterranean With Trevor McDonald Trevor McDonald’s Mediterranean journey continues. In this episode, he goes to the west coast of Italy. 9.00 Taggart When shipworkers’ union leader Will Ramsey is shot dead in the middle of a labour dispute, corporate killing seems the most likely cause. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Highlander (1986) Starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown, Roxanne Hart, Beatie Edney and Alan North. Action. When a young warrior in sixteenth-century Scotland fails to die from a fatal wound, he is banished from his clan, but later learns that he is part of an immortal race. Centuries later in New York he must fight his ultimate enemy to become the last of his kind. 12.40am The Zone 2.45 Crossing Jordan 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 8.55 Supernanny US 9.50 Desperate Housewives 10.50 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 11.55 Jamie’s Fish Supper 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Jamie’s Fish Supper 12.10 Three In A Bed 12.40 Great British Brands 12.55 FILM: The Password Is Courage (1962) 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 6.00 The Simpsons The Simpsons travel through Africa, encountering jungle animals, tribesmen and a chimp-refuge owner with a secret. 6.30 Hollyoaks Mitzeee sneakily organises a photo shoot at Chez Chez, but she is grateful for Brendan when a sleazy photographer crosses the line. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Religious and ethical issues. 8.00 The Year Britain Froze Documentary on the extreme weather experienced in Britain throughout 2010, exploring the science of why the nation came to a frozen halt. 9.00 Big Fat Gypsy Weddings See highlights. 10.00 Shameless Carl tries to raise funds ahead of his 21st birthday by starting his own valet service. 11.10 The Comics Choice Awards: Jo Brand Jo Brand reveals her alltime fantasy nominations, from past comedic greats to present day comedy icons. 12.10am European Poker Tour 1.10 Freesports On 4: Oakley 1.35 Sony Ericsson B-Boy World Series 2.05 FIVB Beach Volleyball World Tour 2.55 KOTV Boxing Weekly 3.25 Challenger World London Triathlon 4.15 Dextro Energy Triathlon 5.10 Bear Grylls: Born Survivor

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 The Business Inspector 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: A Risk Worth Taking (2008) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Home And Away Despite their best efforts, Bianca and Nina become friends when they are forced together during April’s recycling event. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.00 Five News At 7 National and international news. 7.30 Zoo Days A hot-headed crocodile shows his displeasure when he is transferred to a new compound. 8.00 The True Story This documentary explores the true story behind the fantastic tale of Jurassic Park. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation When a cocktail waitress is killed by a shark at a Vegas pool party, the CSIs suspect that a bitter rivalry between two casino moguls might be to blame. 10.00 CSI: Miami A man storms the crime lab and takes new recruit Jesse Cardoza hostage. 10.55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Grissom investigates the brutal death of a jogger apparently killed by a large animal. 11.55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation A high-speed police chase ends with the discovery of a severed head in a stolen car. 12.55am SuperCasino Visit 3.55 The Business Inspector 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 The Sky Sports Years 10.00 Netbusters 10.30 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 12.00pm SPL Round-Up 12.30 LIVE International Cricket 9.00 The Sky Sports Years 10.00 LIVE Test Cricket 5.00am Football Asia 5.30 Hyundai A League

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE: Afterburn 8.00 Test Cricket 9.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 10.30 PGA Tour Classic 11.30 Test Cricket 12.30pm Barclays Premier League Review 1.30 The Sky Sports Years 2.30 Netbusters 3.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Barclays Premier League Review 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Poker: Full Tilt Million Dollar Cash Game 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am Hyundai A League 12.30 Revista De La Liga Special 3.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Extreme Carp 7.00 PGA Tour Golf 8.00 Barclays Premier League Review 9.00 Netball 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Showjumping 1.00 Wild Spirits 1.30 Extreme Carp 2.00 Netball 4.00 PGA Tour Golf 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 Bowls 8.00 British Basketball League 10.00 World Cup Of Pool 11.00 Golfing World 12.00am Golf 3.00 Poker: Full Tilt Million Dollar Cash Game 4.30 Close

Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1








11.00am Medical Emergency (x2) 12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 XWeighted 2.00 Stargate SG1 (x2) 4.00 Cold Case 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Got To Dance (x2) 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Mental 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Ross Kemp On Gangs 2.40 Oops TV (x2)

7.00pm Michel Roux’s Service 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 8.30 Hotter Than My Daughter 9.00 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Snog Marry Avoid? 12.20am Hotter Than My Daughter 12.50 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Beauty Of Maps 8.00 Baroque! - From St Peter’s To St Paul’s 9.00 Secret Lives Of The Artists 10.00 Sectioned 11.00 The Brain: A Secret History 12.00am The Search For Life: The Drake Equation 1.00 Secret Lives Of The Artists 2.00 Baroque! From St Peter’s To St Paul’s

1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 8.00 The Biggest Loser See highlights 9.00 FILM: Knocked Up (2007) 11.35 FILM: The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) 1.50am Emmerdale

10.40am Inspector Morse 12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Born And Bred 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Terry And June 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Super Sleuths 10.00 The Sculptress 12.00am Numb3rs 12.55 Life 1.40 Home To Roost

11.10am Smallville: Superman The Early Years 12.05pm Everwood 1.00 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.30 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 90210 10.00 The Cleveland Show 11.05 Shameless 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Dirty Sexy Money

3.35pm Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 9.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 10.00 True Stories: The Nurture Room 12.00am Come Dine With Me 1.10 True Stories

11.00am King Of Kings (1961) 2.05pm The Robe (1953) 4.40 The Cassandra Crossing (1977) 7.10 4Films For Throwing A Party 7.15 The Perfect Score (2003) 9.00 27 Dresses (2008) 11.10 Black Snake Moan (2006) 1.20am Breakfast On Pluto (2005) 3.45 4Films For Throwing A Party 3.50 Close

Brighton Lights

The Brighton Lights they make me feel so free I’m driving down the London Road To where I want to be In Party Town From Brighton Lights (200,000 people but a million dreams) Theme tune by Eminemmylou

S Ja 6. Sp pr pa w Sp re lo an 8. Sp pr pa w Sp 20 m fo Fo bl Fo Th Ar Ex Ro fro Cl 12 Af N ha gr bo Ye bi m fo Te Pa se in

032_LS509_TV_Weds_L7wed14apr.qxd 14/01/2011 15:46 Page 1

wednesday 19 Michel Roux’s Service BBC2, 8pm Michel Roux is on a mission; to take eight youngsters who have never considered a career in fronting a restaurant, and prove to them that it is an industry that is life changing. The team have to run a brasserie for a day, but with awkward customers and tricky menus, how will they cope? Not by sneezing in the soup.

NCIS Channel Five, 9pm Gibbs and the team come under scrutiny when a blogger with a reputation for exposing government cover-ups is murdered. Owing to the blogger’s recent online activity, state police suspect that NCIS may have been involved in the murder and take control. However, Ziva has other theories. Call the Feds!

Hattie BBC4, 9pm Drama, based on true events. This is the scandalous story of how Carry On actress Hattie Jacques’s home life was blown apart by a secret sexual liaison with her handsome young driver. And all this shocking carry on happened while she was married to Dad’s Army star, John Le Mesurier. See Telly Talk for more.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Land Girls 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Me And My Monsters 4.00 Copycats 4.30 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.10am Children’s television 9.10 The Koala Brothers 9.25 Sesame Tree 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Waybuloo 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Lifeline 1.40 Bowls: World Championships 3.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 Rip Off Britain Angela Rippon, Gloria Hunniford and Jennie Bond tackle the sharp practices making viewers hot under the collar. 8.00 FILM: Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade (1989) Starring Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Denholm Elliott, Julian Glover, River Phoenix and Michael Byrne. Action adventure in which the intrepid explorer Indiana Jones sets out to rescue his father, a medievalist who has vanished while searching for the Holy Grail. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws Presented by Scott Mills. 10.45 Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman Harrison Ford and Diana Keaton team up for comedy Morning Glory and Natalie Portman reveals her dark side in Black Swan. 11.25 FILM: Amistad (1997) Starring Morgan Freeman, Pete Postlethwaite, Anthony Hopkins and David Paymer. Epic historical drama. 1.50am Weatherview 1.55 Sign Zone: Country Tracks 2.50 Ian Hislop’s Age Of The DoGooders 3.50 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 4.35 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Heads on Eggs, Eggs on Heads. Quizzy stuff. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys In this episode, Michael takes a Turkish bath in the famous spa town of Harrogate, explores the exemplary Victorian village of Saltaire, and rubs noses with some friendly alpacas, whose fleeces made fortunes in Bradshaw’s day. 7.00 Simon King’s Shetland Diaries Simon’s visit ends with a sighting of a pod of killer whales, just metres away from where he is standing. 8.00 Michel Roux’s Service See highlights. 9.00 Edwardian Farm August brings the climax of the farming year – and the end of 12 months on the Edwardian Farm for archaeologists Alex Langlands, Peter Ginn and historian Ruth Goodman. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Guests include Rachel Stevens, Sway and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. 10.30 Newsnight With Matt Frei. 11.20 The Planets This programme investigates geological activity, looking at the discovery of frozen lava plains on Venus, and a volcano on Mars that would dwarf Mount Everest. 12.10am Bowls: World Championships Highlights of the day’s action. 1.10 BBC News


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Doc Martin 5.00 The Chase

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 8.50 Supernanny US 9.45 Desperate Housewives 10.50 Country House Rescue 11.55 Jamie’s Fish Supper 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Jamie’s Fish Supper 12.10 Three In A Bed 12.35 Great British Brands 12.55 FILM: Scaramouche (1952) 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain has a warning for Jai. Katie turns to Henshall for comfort. Diane hides her disappointment about Doug’s relationship. 7.30 FA Cup 3rd Round Replay Live Adrian Chiles introduces live coverage of an FA Cup third-round replay. At this stage last year Liverpool suffered a shock 2-1 defeat at home to Championship side Reading. All Premier League big guns will be hoping to avoid a similar fate tonight. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Police, Camera, Action Special programme investigating the behaviour of boy racers. 11.35 FA Cup 3rd Round Replay Highlights Mark Pougatch introduces highlights of tonight’s FA Cup third-round replays. A place in the last 32 of the world’s oldest knockout competition beckons for the winners of tonight’s ties. There will also be a review of all last night’s FA Cup action. 12.30am The Zone ITV1’s place to shop and play. 2.35 FILM: The Sting (1973) Oscarwinning drama set in 1930s Illinois. 4.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons A day in the life of the Simpson family. 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste is gobsmacked by Brendan’s new ‘girlfriend’. Anita is shaken when Gaz shows up and angrily threatens her. Is the lid on Theresa’s secret about to be lifted? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Series of brief documentaries on religious and ethical issues. 8.00 Will My Crash Diet Kill Me? Two-part series in which diet doctor Anu Bhatia demonstrates the potentially deadly effects on the human body of a range of extreme weight loss regimes. 9.00 Mary Portas: Secret Shopper Mary meets Chris George, director of fast expanding fashion chain Pilot, and tries to transform his worst performing store in Essex into a shopper’s paradise. 10.00 The Joy Of Teen Sex Series exploring the sex lives of today’s teenagers. 11.05 The Comics Choice Awards: Jessica Hynes Jessica Hynes reveals her all-time fantasy nominations, favourite shows and comedy inspirations. 12.10am Shameless 1.10 My Family’s Crazy Gap Year 2.05 Who Do You Think You Were? 2.30 Dispatches: Fish Unwrapped 3.20 Food 4.15 Brothers And Sisters 5.00 ER 5.45 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 The Business Inspector 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Mary Higgins Clark’s Let Me Call You Sweetheart (1997) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Dex makes a fool of himself when Graves arrives at his house to interview Sid. Roo becomes suspicious when she discovers Alf behaving strangely. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Monkey Life Series about Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. The chimps have a bachelor party, and pregnant gibbon Peanut faces a dangerous operation. 8.00 Cowboy Builders The dynamic duo arrive in Dorset to meet a grandmother who was ripped-off while she recovered from cancer. 9.00 NCIS See highlights. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Goren and Eames investigate after a fellow officer’s teenaged stepdaughter is found dead in her car after a night of partying. 10.55 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit A boy who raped a young TV star claims he was urged to commit the crime by a controversial radio DJ. Matters take a further twist when the boy’s mother attempts to shoot the DJ dead. 11.55 World Open VI Poker action. 12.55am SuperCasino 3.55 The Business Inspector 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Revista De La Liga Special 12.00pm Football Asia 12.30 Hyundai A League 1.00 Test Cricket 2.00 Revista De La Liga Special 5.00 Test Cricket 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am Scottish Cup Football 1.30 Spanish Football 3.30 You’re On Sky Sports 5.00 Football’s Greatest 5.30 European Tour Weekly

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 8.00 Test Cricket 9.00 Bowls 10.00 British Basketball League 12.00pm Kings Of The Snow 12.30 PGA Golf 3.00 Netball 5.00 Watersports World 6.00 Sports Adventure 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 Inside The PGA Tour 7.30 LIVE Scottish Cup Football 10.00 LIVE Spanish Football 12.00am Test Cricket 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Sports Adventure 2.30 Test Cricket 3.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.30am Golf 9.30 Poker: Full Tilt Million Dollar Cash Game 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 World Cup Of Pool 5.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE: Afterburn 7.00 Test Cricket 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Golfing World 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Cage Fighter 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 Close

Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 X-Weighted 2.00 Stargate SG-1 3.00 Best Of Stargate SG-1 4.00 Cold Case 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Dream Lives For Sale 9.00 Louie Spence’s Showbusiness 10.00 Raising Hope (x2) 11.00 Lie To Me 12.00am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Most Annoying People 2010 8.00 Wait Till Your Teacher Gets Home! 9.00 Is Oral Sex Safe? 10.00 FILM: Pulp Fiction (1994) 12.25am Family Guy (x2) 1.15 Most Annoying People 2010 2.10 Is Oral Sex Safe? 3.10 Wait Till Your Teacher Gets Home! 4.05 How Drugs Work: Ecstasy

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Boats That Built Britain 8.00 Sykes And A Haunting 8.30 Sykes 9.00 Hattie. See highlights 10.25 This Is Your Life 10.55 More Dawn French’s Girls Who Do: Comedy (x2) 11.55 Hattie 1.25am This Is Your Life 1.55 Sykes And A Haunting 2.25 Sykes 2.55 Hattie

12.30pm Nanny 911 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 Harry Hill’s Best Of TV Burp 7.30 Life’s Funniest Moments 8.00 Primeval 9.00 FILM: I Am Legend (2007) 11.00 FILM: Analyze This (1999) 1.15am Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen USA

10.40am Inspector Morse 12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Born And Bred 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Terry And June 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 8.00 Mr Bean (x2) 9.00 Touched By Frost: Goodbye Jack 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.05am Inspector Morse

12.05pm Everwood 1.00 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.30 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 FILM: She’s All That (1999) 11.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 Dirty Sexy Money 1.55 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

3.35pm Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Time Team 10.00 The Secrets Of Westminster Abbey: A Time Team Special 11.05 Engineering Britain’s Superweapons 12.10am Time Team

11.00am Niagara (1952) 12.50pm The Undefeated (1969) 3.05 An Affair To Remember (1957) 5.15 Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1956) 6.50 Waitress (2007) 9.00 Drillbit Taylor (2008) 11.00 My Name Is Joe (1997) 1.05am Neds Special 1.15 If... (1968) 3.25 Black Swan Special

Brighton Lights

Invite Val Aviv to cover your event

S Ja 6. Sp pr pa w Sp re lo an 8. Sp pr pa w Li fin Re of Fo ac Le Le Au Ze fiv W Bl Ze ca Sp se 5. Pa se in ne en Hy Hy so Eu

033_LS509_TV_Thurs_L7wed14apr.qxd 14/01/2011 09:58 Page 1

thursday 20 EastEnders BBC1, 7.30pm Desperately seeking Bianca. The police question Ricky and Carol about last night’s terrible events while the family up the ante to track down the missing Butcher. Zainab and Masood are horror-struck by Tamwar’s bold declaration at the grand opening of Argee Bhajee. Poor Tanwar, he never did curry favour.

10 O’Clock Live Channel 4, 10pm It’s a brand spankin’ new live comedy and current affairs show hosted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne. Expect intelligent, informative and funny takes on world news, via a mix of debates, interviews, topical comedy, investigations and opinion pieces. Information and comedy? Brill.

How Drugs Work: Cocaine BBC3, 9pm Docu combining real life stories and computer graphics to explore inside the brain and the body to find out how cocaine works. Plus, the man that needed a pacemaker fitted at just 17 after cocaine gave him a heart attack, and a patient undergoing surgery to repair a nose torn apart by coke. Not to be sniffed at.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Land Girls 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Me And My Monsters 4.00 Copycats 4.30 Horrible Histories 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 EastEnders See highlights. 8.00 Human Planet In the second episode of Human Planet, they discover how the eternal quest for water brings huge challenges – and ingenious solutions – in the driest places on Earth. 9.00 Come Fly With Me Immigration Officer Ian Foot pulls in Taaj for questioning as part of a random security check, and discover exactly how far Fearghal is prepared to go to get nominated for Steward of the Year. 9.30 Not Going Out Sitcom. Lee promises to stop treating Lucy’s flat as if he owns it– but not before he has hired it out to a film director. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Topical debate with a panel of prominent public figures and an invited audience, chaired by David Dimbleby. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil, with Michael Portillo. 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Where’s Dad? – Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.55 Antiques Roadshow 2.55 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 3.40 BBC News


6.00 – 8.55am Children’s television 8.55 Numberjacks 9.10 The Koala Brothers 9.25 Sesame Tree 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Ready Steady Cook 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Bowls: World Championships 3.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip 6.00 Eggheads Smashing quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys In this episode, Michael finds out about shoddy, a successful 19th-century recycling industry in the textile town of Batley and discovers how the railways boosted Yorkshire’s forced rhubarb trade. 7.00 Who Does What? In this new series, six couples undergo the most probing and thorough relationship audit imaginable. Undergoing 24-hour filmed surveillance, statistics reveal the percentage of who really does what in the couples’ relationships. 8.00 Michel Roux’s Service Michel takes his trainees out of the restaurant, and into the world of 5star hotel service. 9.00 Men Of Rock Geologist Iain Stewart retraces the steps of a band of maverick pioneers who made ground-breaking discoveries in the landscape of Scotland about how our planet works. 10.00 The Great Outdoors Christine is now deputy leader of the club and is soon winning the hearts and minds of the group, especially Bob’s best friend Tom. 10.30 Newsnight With Matt Frei. 11.20 The Planets Documentary series tracing our exploration of the solar system. 12.10am Bowls: World Championships Highlights. 1.10 BBC News


Channel 4

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Doc Martin 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Brenda is incensed to see Andy at the funeral. Charity is unimpressed by Cain’s meddling. 7.30 Daylight Robbery: Tonight With the Daylight Saving Bill going through Parliament, the programme looks at the impact that moving the UK’s clocks forward by an hour would have on the British way of life. 8.00 Emmerdale Andy is furious to find himself made the scapegoat for the fire. 8.30 Coronation Street One resident receives an unexpected offer at singles night in the Rovers. Gary reveals the truth about his time in the army. 9.00 Kidnap And Ransom With Naomi still a hostage, the stakes are raised and Dominic must up his game as he negotiates with the mysterious Willard. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Odd One In Today the regular home team of Jason Manford and Peter Andre take on Joe Swash and Katy Brand. 11.20 Send In The Dogs Series following the work of police dogs. 12.20am The Zone ITV1’s place to shop and play. 2.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.15 Daylight Robbery: Tonight 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.30am Sali Mali 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 8.55 Wife Swap USA 9.50 Desperate Housewives 10.50 Help! My House Is Falling Down 11.55 Jamie’s Fish Supper 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Jamie’s Fish Supper 12.10 Three In A Bed 12.40 River Cottage Bites 12.50 River Cottage Bites 1.00 FILM: The Halls Of Montezuma (1950) 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 6.00 The Simpsons Homer helps Ned build a tribute to the late Maude Flanders – the ultimate Bible-themed amusement park. 6.30 Hollyoaks Rhys cannot believe his mum is pregnant with Darren’s twins. Is Theresa about to confess? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Religious and ethical issues. 8.00 Relocation, Relocation In Manchester, the duo help civil servant Pav and partner Mikael hunt for their first and second property purchases at the same time. But the search is hampered by extreme firsttime buyer’s nerves. 9.00 Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day Series where six skilled builders try to construct the first authentic Roman villa in Britain in 1,600 years, using only tools and materials that were available to the Romans. 10.00 10 O’Clock Live See highlights. 11.05 The Comics Choice Awards: Sean Lock Sean Lock reveals his alltime fantasy nominations, from past comedic greats to present day comedy icons. 12.10am FILM: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004) Romantic drama. 2.05 FILM: Crimson Rivers (2000) 3.55 Brothers And Sisters 4.40 ER 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 The Business Inspector 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Hard To Forget (1998) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Home And Away Still convinced that her death is imminent, Marilyn decides to start giving away her possessions. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Enlightening documentary series investigating the wonders of modern science and technology. 8.00 Secrets Of The Blitz: Revealed The story of the life and death struggle in Britain’s blitzed cities is revealed using the reports of the secret Home Intelligence Department, set up to monitor the public’s morale. 9.00 Jack The Ripper: The Definitive Story Second instalment of a two-part docudrama which examines the witness statements of the Ripper case to intricately recreate the famous police investigation as it unfolded. 10.00 FILM: From Hell (2001) Starring Johnny Depp, Heather Graham, Ian Holm, Robbie Coltrane and Ian Richardson. Atmospheric crime thriller about a clairvoyant policeman’s efforts to apprehend notorious serial killer Jack the Ripper in fogbound Victorian London. 12.20am SuperCasino Visit 3.55 The Business Inspector 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 1 6.00am Live European Tour Golf 9.00 Sports Adventures 9.30 Inside The PGA Tour 10.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Scottish Cup Football 2.30 LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 LIVE European Rugby Special 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Ringside 12.00am European Rugby Special 3.00 Live ODI Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Scottish Cup Football 10.30 Football’s Greatest 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm World Matchplay Bowls 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 6.00 F1 Powerboats 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 To be announced 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 F1 Powerboats 8.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.00 Ringside 10.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 2.00 Time Of Our Lives 3.00 Racemax 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 World Matchplay Bowls 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Showjumping 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 Sports Adventure 3.00 Showjumping 4.00 Netball 6.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am Golfing World 2.00 PGA Tour Golf 5.00 Close

Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 X-Weighted 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Cold Case 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 House 9.00 Thorne: Scaredycat 10.00 A League Of Their Own: Unseen 11.00 Inside: America’s Toughest Jail 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Ross Kemp

8.00 Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 9.00 How Drugs Work: Cocaine See highlights 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Ready Steady Drink 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am How Drugs Work: Cocaine 1.15 Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 2.15 Ready Steady Drink 3.15 Hotter Than My Daughter

7.00pm News 7.30 Barbados At The Races: Storyville 8.00 Beautiful Equations 9.00 The Brain: A Secret History 10.00 Five Daughters 11.00 FILM: Le Diner De Cons (1998) 12.15am The Brain: A Secret History 1.15 Sectioned 2.15 Barbados At The Races: Storyville 2.45 The Brain: A Secret History

12.00pm Emmerdale 12.30 Nanny 911 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 American Idol 10.00 Keith Lemon’s Very Brilliant World Tour (x2) 11.05 FILM: Deep Blue Sea (1999) 1.10am Coronation Street

10.40am Inspector Morse 12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Born And Bred 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Terry And June 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 8.00 Monk 9.00 Billy Connolly: Journey To The Edge Of The World 10.00 Lewis 12.00am Inspector Morse 1.45 My Uncle Silas

12.05pm Everwood 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Hollyoaks 2.35 Gilmore Girls 3.30 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 How I Met Your Mother 10.00 FILM: Without A Paddle (2004) 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 12.55 RuPaul’s Drag Race (x2)

3.05pm Coach Trip 3.35 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Good Wife 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 10.55 The Closer 11.55 The Good Wife 12.50am Brothers And Sisters 1.45 The Closer

11.00am In Custody (1993) 1.20pm Sailor Beware! (1956) 2.55 Lifeboat (1944) 4.45 I Was A Male War Bride (1949) 6.50 Explorers (1985) 9.00 The Magdalene Sisters (2002) 11.15 Neds Special 11.25 Orphans (1997) 1.25am Next Friday (1999) 3.20 4Films For... Getting A New Look 3.25 Black Swan Special

Brighton Lights

The Brighton Lights they make me feel so free I’m driving down the London Road To where I want to be In Party Town From Brighton Lights (200,000 people but a million dreams) Theme tune by Eminemmylou

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034_LS509_TV_Fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 14/01/2011 10:00 Page 1

friday 21 Can’t Take It With You BBC2, 9pm Sir Gerry Robinson helps families torn over what to write in their wills. Mother of five Brenda wants to leave more to youngest daughter Kerrie to make up for childcare she has given her other daughters. Sir Gerry is assisted by top lawyer, Sue Medder, who sets out the legal options in each case, and writes the final wills.

The Graham Norton Show BBC1, 10.35pm You can’t deny it, Mr N does pull in some great guests. Billing tonight is Vince Vaughn chatting about his new movie The Dilemma, hot comic Sarah Millican gives us a laugh and actor, designer and mega music maestro Diddy performs live. See, even superstars drop their peas occasionally. Butterfingers!

Iron Maiden: Flight 666 BBC4, 10pm This film documents the first leg of Iron Maiden’s Somewhere Back In Time tour, which took them 50,000 miles around the world playing 23 concerts on five continents in 45 days. One of the stars of the movie is the soupedup Boeing 757, Ed Force One, which Maiden’s lead warbler Bruce Dickinson happens to pilot.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Land Girls 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Scoop 3.55 The Owl 4.00 Dani’s House 4.30 Tracy Beaker Returns 4.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Copycats 8.30 LazyTown 8.55 Numberjacks 9.10 The Koala Brothers 9.25 Sesame Tree 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Ready Steady Cook 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Bowls: World Championships 3.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sports quiz. 8.00 EastEnders A familiar face returns to Albert Square – but does she hold the key to Bianca’s whereabouts? 8.30 QI Stephen Fry hosts the hilarious, mind-expanding quiz in which the aim is to be interesting. 9.00 Hustle American casino owner and infamous grifter-buster Marcus Wendell is in town, and Albert has an old family score to settle. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show See highlights. 11.20 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws Presented by OJ Borg. 11.30 FILM: Point Break (1991) Starring Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves, Gary Busey, Lori Petty, John C McGinley, James LeGros, John Philbin, Bojesse Christopher, Julian Reyes, Daniel Beer, Chris Pedersen and Vincent Klyn. Action adventure. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: James May’s Man Lab 2.30 Horizon: Asteroids - The Good, The Bad And The Ugly 3.30 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 4.15 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads High protein quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael learns the secrets of stilton cheese and finds out how trains transformed the traditional British sport of fox hunting. 7.00 Julia Bradbury’s German Wanderlust Julia Bradbury takes her boots and backpack to the Continent to explore the landscape of Germany. 7.30 Island Parish Series following a year in the life of the most southerly islands of the Outer Hebrides, off the north-west coast of Scotland. 8.00 Mastermind Topics are: the life and works of Armistead Maupin, prehistoric Orkney, the films of Michael Mann, and the Finnish Winter War. 8.30 Life In A Cottage Garden With Carol Klein Carol Klein shares with us a year in her garden. 9.00 Can’t Take It With You See highlights. 10.00 Fast And Loose Improvised games and sketches. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis. 11.00 The Review Show Guests include Rhona Cameron and Professor John Carey. 11.50 The Planets Documentary. 12.40am Bowls: World Championships Bowls 1.40 BBC News


6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Doc Martin 5.00 The Chase

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Katie agrees to be discreet about her relationship with Henshall. Bob is upset to be saying goodbye to TJ. Jackson worries that he is holding Aaron back. 7.30 Coronation Street Eileen deceives Owen and succumbs to temptation. Will Anna’s worst fears become a reality as Gary is given the all-clear to return to the army? 8.00 Children’s Hospital Lorraine Kelly presents the observational documentary series set in the Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital. 8.30 Coronation Street Michelle’s business dinner leads to problems with Ciaran. Janice is left shaken by an intruder. 9.00 Comedy Rocks With Jason Manford Jason Manford will be joined once again by Russell Kane, Alistair McGowan, Jenny Eclair, Olly Murs and Eliza Doolittle. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Take Me Out Dating programme. 11.50 30 Years Of An Audience With... This episode looks back at unforgettable appearances by Ken Dodd, Lionel Richie, Brian Conley, Lulu and Victoria Wood. 12.40am The Zone Features from QVC and Challenge Jackpot. 2.40 FILM: Pieces Of April (2003) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 8.55 Wife Swap USA 9.55 Desperate Housewives 10.50 Will My Crash Diet Kill Me? 11.55 Jamie’s Fish Supper 12.00pm Channel 4 News 12.05 Jamie’s Fish Supper 12.10 Three In A Bed 12.40 Jamie At Home 1.05 FILM: Heaven Knows, Mr Allison (1957) 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 6.00 The Simpsons A successful stint as a babysitter prompts Homer to open a full-time daycare service, leaving Bart and Lisa feeling neglected. 6.30 Hollyoaks The 3000th Hollyoaks episode marks an extraordinary event for the teen drama. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.25 Religious and ethical issues. 7.30 First Cut: Planning Outlaws Showcase of bold and original documentaries from up-and-coming filmmakers. 8.00 Relocation: Phil Down Under Phil Spencer helps British families as they relocate to Australia. 9.00 50 Funniest Moments Of 2010 Celebrities look back at 2010’s most funny and outrageous moments. 11.10 British Comedy Awards: The Nominations A look at all the official nominees in each category of this year’s British Comedy Awards. 12.10am 10 O’Clock Live Repeat. 1.10 Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 1.25 My Name Is Earl (x2) 2.15 King Of The Hill 2.35 Comedy Lab: Jack Whitehall Secret Census 3.05 FILM: Monkey Business (1952) 4.40 Brothers And Sisters 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Roary The Racing Car 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 The WotWots 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 The Business Inspector 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 2.55 Animal Rescue Squad 3.10 FILM: Acceptance (2009) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Home And Away Indi starts to have reservations about living with Marilyn. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Michaela’s Zoo Babies At Cotswold Wildlife Park in Oxfordshire, Friday the Bactrian camel is the last of the females to have her baby, but her behaviour is worrying. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Alaska’s Dalton Highway. 9.00 The Mentalist When a woman is shot dead at an upmarket resort, suspects include the woman’s wealthy husband, her libertine lover, a former assistant and a jealous waitress. 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The CSI team investigates when a man’s body is reduced to ash and dumped in a shallow grave. 10.55 NCIS US drama about the navy’s dedicated federal agency. 11.55 Cops In Crisis Documentary series. 12.15am SuperCasino 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 The Business Inspector 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE ODI Cricket 12.00pm Cricket World Cup - I Captured The Cup 12.30 Ringside 1.30 Football’s Greatest 2.00 Football’s Greatest 3.00 Cricket World Cup – I Captured The Cup 3.30 Cricket 5.30 Football League Weekend 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 Take It Like A Fan 10.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.00 Football League Weekend 12.00am Take It Like A Fan 12.30 Cricket World Cup – I Captured The Cup 1.00 LIVE ODI Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Rugby Club Special 12.00pm F1 Powerboats 12.25 LIVE International Cricket 8.30 Cricket 10.30 Cricket World Cup – I Captured The Cup 11.30 Tight Lines 12.30am NFL – Total Access 1.30 European Rugby 4.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 4.30 Football League Weekend 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 Ringside 10.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Racemax 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 International Judo World Circuit 3.00 WWE: Raw 5.00 Kings Of The Snow 5.30 International Judo World Circuit 6.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 1.00am Golfing World 2.00 PGA Tour Golf 5.00 Tight Lines

Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 X-Weighted: Families 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Cold Case 5.00 WWE: Superstars 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 A League Of Their Own: Unseen 10.00 Got To Dance (x2) 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Ross Kemp: In Search Of Pirates

7.00pm Most Annoying People 2010 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 Come Fly With Me 9.30 Him & Her 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Coming Of Age 12.45 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.15 Hotter Than My Daughter

7.30 Mozart Uncovered 8.30 Transatlantic Sessions 9.00 Legends: Thin Lizzy – Bad Reputation 10.00 Iron Maiden: Flight 666 See highlights 11.55 Classic Albums 12.50am Bruce Springsteen: The Promise– The Making Of Darkness On The Edge Of Town 2.20 Bruce Springsteen: Darkness Live

1.30pm Jeremy Kyle: Morning Surgery 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 6.50 Take Me Out 8.00 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 8.30 Grimefighters 9.00 American Idol 10.00 FILM: The Whole Ten Yards (2004) 12.00am Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale

10.40am Inspector Morse 12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Born And Bred 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Terry And June 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Lost For Words 10.45 A Touch Of Frost 12.55am Monk 1.40 FILM: The Triumph (2006)

12.00pm Everwood 1.00 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.30 Gilmore Girls 3.25 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Supernanny US 10.00 Wife Swap 11.00 Tool Academy 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.10 RuPaul’s Drag Race 1.55 Supernanny US 2.35 Wife Swap

1.30pm Deal Or No Deal 2.35 Come Dine With Me Down Under 3.05 Coach Trip 3.40 Location, Location, Location (x2) 4.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 FILM: Babel (2006) 11.45 Heroes Of Comedy 12.50am FILM: Babel (2006)

11.00am Santa Fe Passage (1954) 12.45pm The Desert Fox (1951) 2.30 The Silent Enemy (1958) 4.40 How To Steal A Million (1966) 7.00 4Films For...Getting A New Look 7.05 How She Move (2007) 8.50 Black Swan Special 9.00 Clear And Present Danger (1994) 11.40 The Fountain (2006) 1.30am Garden State (2004)

Brighton Lights

Invite Val Aviv to cover your event

S Ja 6. OD at te OD Ja Cu th Cu Ba ea W Co Br Gr st go Pu Re Eu Gr st pl Be w Eu Cu th Cu Ba ea W OD at te OD Ja W ne Ch Tw

035_LS509_TV_Sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 14/01/2011 10:03 Page 1

saturday 22 Primeval ITV1, 7pm We all know it’s not proper Saturday night telly unless there’s something supernatural on. Ta da! Connor and Abby are sent to investigate an odd anomaly – surely that goes against the very definition of anomalies? If it’s not odd then it’s not an anomaly! Pedantry aside, they discover the mythical Labyrinthodont is here.

British Comedy Awards Channel 4, 9pm In their new home on Channel 4, filmed at IndigO2 in London’s O2 Arena, and for the first time open to the public who want to buy tickets – this is set to be an all new kind of British Comedy Awards. Not too new though as Jonathan Ross is still presenting them; there are 13 categories and all the comics want ‘em. Cool.

Live At The Apollo BBC3, 10.15pm Fancy the entertainment value of a night out but really love your sofa? Here’s the perfect answer – Live At The Apollo, but on the telly! Hosted by Al Murray aka The Pub Landlord, he waxes lyrical at the famous Hammersmith venue and introduces Shappi Khorsandi and Russell Kane to the stage.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Baking Made Easy 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Tennis: Australian Open 2011 2.30 Bowls: World Championships 4.30 Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.20 South East Today 5.30 Hole In The Wall

6.00 Total Wipeout The biggest and brashest game show on television is back. Hosted by Richard Hammond and Amanda Byram, the show welcomes a set of contestants to take on the wrath of some seriously hard obstacles in the hope of bagging £10,000 and the magnificent trophy. 7.00 The Magicians Lenny Henry hosts. Illusionist of the decade Luis de Matos is partnered by N’Dubz; the dark and twisted Barry and Stuart team up with Martin Kemp; and the king of close up magic, Chris Korn, is joined by Rolf Harris. 8.00 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton hosts the quiz show. Includes the lottery draws live. 8.50 Casualty Medical drama series. Ruth’s recent manic behaviour is exacerbated by the arrival of Katy, a mentally-ill patient. Will the gang be able to stop Ruth from taking drastic measures to cure her? 9.40 Come Fly With Me Comedy series set in a busy airport featuring characters played by Matt Lucas and David Walliams. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights of the day’s eight matches in the Barclays Premier League. 11.50 The Football League Show Highlights from the pitch. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 News


6.0 – 7.000am Children’s television 7.00 Basil And Barney’s Game Show 7.30 Arthur 7.55 Leon 8.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.30 Project Parent 9.00 Dick And Dom’s Funny Business 10.00 Trapped: Ever After 10.25 Diddy Dick And Dom 10.30 OOglies 10.45 The Slammer 11.15 My Life: Karate Kids 11.40 MOTD Kickabout 12.00pm Murder, She Wrote 12.45 FILM: The Musketeer (2001) 2.20 FILM: The Kid () 4.00 Flog It! 4.45 Escape To The Country 5.45 The Bear Family And Me 6.45 Dad’s Army Classic comedy about the Home Guard unit of Walmington-on-Sea. 7.15 The Return Of ‘Allo ‘Allo The cast and characters of the classic sitcom return with brand new scenes specially written by Jeremy Lloyd and a documentary revealing the history behind the show. The comic adventure set amonst the German occupation of France had regular audiences of over 15 million viewers and ran for nine years. In this programme, in front of a studio audience, Rene is back in his cafe writing his war diaries, with a little ‘elp from ‘is friends. 9.00 QI XL Stephen Fry considers some hypothetical questions with panellists Sandi Toksvig, John Lloyd, Johnny Vegas and Alan Davies. 9.45 The Tudors Historical drama series about the royal house of Tudor. 10.40 Nurse Jackie Drama series about Jackie Peyton, a no-nonsense emergency room nurse based in New York who has to balance her frenzied job with a complicated home life. Really rather darkly good. 11.10 Fast And Loose Hugh Dennis presents a fast moving and hilarious new series of improvised games and sketches. Hold your sides! 11.40 Bowls: World Championships 12.40am FILM: The Big Heat (1953)


6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Babar And The Adventures Of Badou 7.10 The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About Tha 7.25 Monk 7.30 Kung Fu Dino Posse 7.55 Spiderman 8.20 Horrid Henry 8.30 The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody 9.00 Hannah Montana 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.45 This Morning: Saturday/sunday 12.45pm Monk 1.40 ITV News & Weather 1.45 FILM: Honey (2003) 3.30 FILM: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge Of The Sith (2005) 6.05 Meridian News; Weather 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp Strap in for another rollicking ride through Burp’s past, as bigcollared telly critic Harry Hill presents more of the funniest moments from previous series. 7.00 Primeval See highlights. 8.00 Take Me Out Matchmaker Paddy McGuinness tries to find dates for his army of single ladies. All the single ladies? All the single ladies! Well they all get to choose. Not all of them go on the final date. Bah. 9.15 Benidorm On a trip to the waterfalls of Callosa, Mick upsets Janice and it looks like their relationship might not survive this time. Brandy plays a practical joke on Martin which results in him running through the water naked. Noreen becomes convinced that her son, The Oracle, is gay. Why?! 10.15 ITV News; Weather 10.30 FILM: The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) Starring Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen and Romany Malco. Comedy. When a 40-year-old electronics store worker’s colleagues find out that he has never had a girlfriend and is still a virgin, they set about helping him meet that special someone – by any means necessary. 12.40am The Zone 2.45 The Starter Wife 3.30 Nightscreen 5.30 News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 GT Academy 7.25 GT Academy 7.55 The Morning Line 8.50 Friends 9.20 Olly Murs’ Hot List 2010 10.25 Glee 11.25 The Album Chart Show Introduces... 11.40 Friends 12.10pm Friends 12.45 The Big Bang Theory 1.15 The Big Bang Theory 1.45 Channel 4 Racing 3.50 Come Dine With Me 4.20 Come Dine With Me 4.50 Come Dine With Me 5.25 Come Dine With Me 5.55 Come Dine With Me

6.25 Channel 4 News 6.50 6.55 FILM: Night At The Museum (2006) Starring Ben Stiller, Ricky Gervais, Steve Coogan, Carla Gugino, Robin Williams, Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney and Bill Cobbs. Comedy about a security guard who takes the role of nightwatchman at a New York museum, unaware that an ancient curse causes the exhibits come to life after dark. However, the enchanted stone that brings the antiquities to life is coveted by his three elderly predecessors who see it as the key to their eternal youth. Wonder how they came to that conclusion? 9.00 British Comedy Awards See highlights. 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. Alan’s guests include Jonathan Ross, Kevin Bridges, Jack Whitehall and Adele, who also performs a song from her new album. Wouldn’t it be great if she also performed a song from someone’s else’s new album and you had to guess who it was. Just us on that one? Oh. 12.10am FILM: Withnail & I (1987) 2.05 Old Street 2.20 Dirty Sexy Money (x2) 3.50 Beauty And The Geek (x2) 5.25 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Little Princess 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Play! 8.45 Rupert Bear 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 Animal Rescue Squad 10.20 The True Story 11.20 Secrets Of The Blitz: Revealed 12.20pm Emergency Bikers 1.20 FILM: Logan’s Run (1976) 3.35 FILM: Chisum (1970) 5.50 Five News 5.55 FILM: McQ (1974) 7.50 NCIS US drama about the navy’s dedicated federal agency. The investigation into the death of a marine at a high-profile function leads to the discovery of a dead young girl and a sex-trafficking ring. 8.45 CSI: Miami Crime drama series based on the work of forensic investigators. Horatio’s son goes missing after a prison van is attacked. Ryan causes tension with his former colleagues when he is hired as a witness for the defence. 9.40 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. A woman identifies her son as the culprit responsible for a brutal assault that left her husband dead. However, another man soon confesses to the murder. 10.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation American drama series centring on a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. Vegas is on Amber Alert as the CSI team races to find a missing 12-year-old girl. 11.40 Forensic Files Documentary series examining the application of modern technological advances in crime-fighting. 12.10am SuperCasino 4.00 Emergency Bikers 4.50 Meals In Moments 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE ODI Cricket 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm LIVE European Rugby (x3) 8.00 LIVE Saturday Fight Night 10.00 The Sky Sports Years 11.00 Scottish Premier League 11.30 Football’s Greatest 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Scottish Premier League 3.00 LIVE Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 The Sky Sports Years 8.00 Football League Weekend 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Take It Like A Fan 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.15 Cricket World Cup – I Captured The Cup 4.15 Sky Sports Classics 4.30 Take It Like A Fan 5.00 Live Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x4) 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Time Of Our Lives 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 The Sky Sports Years 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 ODI Cricket 3.00 WWE Smackdown 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Sports Adventure 6.30 Scottish Premier League 7.00 European Tour Golf 9.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 12.00am European Tour Golf 2.00 Saturday Fight Night 4.00 Scottish Premier League 4.30 The Sky Sports Years 5.30 Scottish Premier League

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








3.00pm FILM: Journey To The Centre Of The Earth (2008) 4.45 Futurama: Welcome To The World Of Tomorrow 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 FILM: Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000) 10.40 Road Wars (x2) 12.40am Martina Cole: Girls In Gangs London

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 FILM: The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008) 10.15 Live At The Apollo. See highlights 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 American Dad! (x2) 12.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.00 Live At The Apollo 1.45 Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 2.45 How Drugs Work: Cocaine

7.00pm South Pacific 8.00 The Glasgow Boys 9.00 The Killing 9.55 The Killing 10.50 Rich Hall’s ‘How The West Was Lost’ 12.20am Hattie 1.50 This Is Your Life 2.20 More Dawn French’s Girls Who Do: Comedy 2.50 More Dawn French’s Girls Who Do: Comedy 3.20 The Glasgow Boys 5.30 Close

12.10pm FILM: The Neverending Story (1984) 2.05 Take Me Out 3.20 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 3.50 American Idol 5.45 American Idol 6.45 FILM: Twister (1996) 9.00 FILM: The Break-Up (2006) 11.15 FILM: The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) 1.20am Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp

10.55am The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 12.00pm Agatha Christie’s Marple 2.10 FILM: Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle (2003) 3.55 Foyle’s War 6.00 Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Midsomer Murders 11.05 Murder In Suburbia 12.10am Inspector Morse 2.05 ITV3 Nightscreen

12.30pm Supernanny US 1.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.00 Make It Or Break It 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Glee 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Cleveland Show 10.00 Rude Tube: Total Stunts 11.00 The British Comedy Awards: Live LockIn 12.05am Wife Swap

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x5) 2.45 FILM: Broken Lance (1954) 4.35 Grand Designs (x5) 10.00 To Be Announced 12.00am To Be Announced 1.00 To Be Announced 4.00 Close

11.00am Millions Like Us (1943) 1.00pm The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008) 2.50 Above Us The Waves (1956) 4.45 An Affair To Remember (1957) 6.55 127 Hours Special 7.00 Drillbit Taylor (2008) 9.00 Predator (1987) 11.05 End Of Days (1999) 1.25am Neds Special 1.35 The Seventh Seal (1957)

Brighton Lights

Football Fans, a brand new show on Latest TV. Hosted byThe Treason Show’s Mark Brailsford. This is a brand new show that no Albion fan should miss.

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sunday 23 Dancing On Ice ITV1, 6.10pm So with two celebs already down the remaining 12 from both shows are brought together to compete all out for the first time. Eek! Who will be wobbling and who glides fit to slide right off into the judges? Join Philip and Holly as we empathise with all that hard work and training from the safety of the sofa. Another biccie?

Top Gear BBC2, 8pm The first of six brand new episodes and to be honest, who cares about the evolution of the Porsche 911 or the Aerial Atom V8? We want gimmicky testing! Well, with Jeremy given the Skoda Yeti to ‘thoroughly’ road test, rest assured. Also, more Cool Wall and Star In A Reasonably Priced Car. Hamster!

Being Human BBC3, 9pm It’s started! It’s started! It’s started! Series 3 of Being Human starts right here, with the gang upping sticks and moving to Wales. However, that doesn’t seem to stop the vamps closing in on Mitchell, Annie still being stuck in purgatory, and George and Nina – well, bickering. Top writing, top acting and top fun.


¸ terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Bargain Hunt 1.30 Escape To The Country 2.30 EastEnders 4.25 My Family 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team return in a new series, with more fascinating stories and bombshell valuations. 7.00 Countryfile Julia Bradbury and Adam Henson head to Somerset. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Costume drama. Thomas is euphoric when he lands the job of organising the church bazaar. But his joy soon evaporates when the vicar falls ill, and the controversial and freethinking curate Reverend Marley takes charge. Gadzooks! Surely not! 9.00 Terry Wogan’s Ireland In the wake of his retirement from BBC Radio 2, Sir Terry Wogan returns to Ireland in the autobiographical journey of a lifetime. This’ll be grand. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 Gavin And Stacey Pam and Mick are having second thoughts about the conservatory. 10.55 Gavin And Stacey Gavin is uncomfortable with Gwen and Bryn knowing the ins and outs of his and Stacey’s sex life. 11.25 FILM: Sirens (1994) Starring Hugh Grant, Tara Fitzgerald, Sam Neill, Elle Macphersonr. Sensuous drama about an English vicar and his wife who visit an Australian artist. 12.55am Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: Making Scotland’s Landscape 2.00 Holby City 3.00 Climbing Great Buildings 3.30 BBC News


6.00am Harry And Toto 6.10 Everything’s Rosie 6.20 Dirtgirlworld 6.35 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 7.00 Basil And Barney’s Game Show 7.30 Arthur 7.55 Leon 8.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.30 Deadly 60 8.55 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Barney’s Latin America 9.30 Roar 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Film 2011 With Claudia Winkleman 12.00pm Diagnosis Murder 12.45 FILM: Jubal (1956) 2.25 Bowls: World Championships 5.15 Ski Sunday 6.00 Ray Mears’s Northern Wilderness Ray Mears journeys into Canada’s unforgiving wilderness. 7.00 Clive Anderson’s The Funny Side Of... Clive Anderson has a chuckle at things that make him chuckle. Stands to reason really. 8.00 Top Gear See highlights. 9.00 Arctic With Bruce Parry Bruce travels to Alaska, America’s last great wilderness, where modernday pioneers are harvesting the vast natural wealth of the seas. Bruce learns the ropes onboard a salmonfishing boat, and dives to the bottom of the Bering Sea to look for gold. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights of the day’s matches. 10.50 Never Mind The Buzzcocks The anarchic, award-winning pop quiz with host Simon Amstell, regular team captain Phill Jupitus, and a special guest team captain Russell Brand. Guests include Rachel Stevens, Sway and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. 11.25 FILM: Pulp Fiction (1994) Starring John Travolta, Samuel L Jackson, Uma Thurman, Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Amanda Plummer, Maria de Medeiros, Ving Rhames, Eric Stoltz, Rosanna Arquette, Christopher Walken and Bruce Willis. Oscar-winning black comedy about the activities of a disparate group of LA lowlifes. Hunny bunny. 1.50am BBC News


6.00 –7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Handy Manny 7.10 Bookaboo 7.25 Monk 7.30 My Goldfish Is Evil 7.55 X-men 8.20 Horrid Henry 8.30 Horrid Henry 8.40 Spongebob Squarepants (year 7) 9.00 Wizards Of Waverley Place 9.25 May The Best House Win 10.25 The Biggest Loser 11.30 This Morning: Saturday/sunday 12.30pm Dinner Date 1.25 ITV News & Weather 1.35 Columbo: Swan Song 3.35 Midsomer Murders 5.35 Regional News And Weather 5.40 Meridian News And Weather 5.55 ITV News & Weather 6.10 Dancing On Ice See highlights. 8.30 Wild At Heart Danny faces a tough choice when his investigation into an animal smuggling ring leads him closer to home than he thought. Meanwhile, Du Plessis tries to help Thabo, but his allegiance is tested when he finds himself on the wrong side of the law. 9.30 Dancing On Ice: The SkateOff Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby reveal the results of the public vote. The two couples with the fewest votes must battle it out in the skate-off before one pair leaves the ice for good. Gotta say, battle with ice skates sounds particularly dangerous. You could have someone’s eye out with that. 10.00 That Sunday Night Show Adrian Chiles is joined by awardwinning actress, writer and comic Catherine Tate and former Deputy Prime Minister Lord Prescott to discuss the biggest events of the week and uncover the more bizarre news stories of the last seven days. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 Comedy Rocks With Jason Manford Repeat of Friday’s show. Don’t miss Daniel Sloss’ bit! 11.45 Cops With Cameras Programme taking the viewer right up to the front lines of police work. 12.35am The Zone 2.00 FILM: The Day Of The Jackal (1973) 4.30 Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The British Gas Great Swim Series 7.30 That Paralympic Show 7.55 Battlefront 8.10 Friends 8.40 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.10 Glee 12.15pm The Simpsons 12.50 The Simpsons 1.20 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 1.55 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 2.25 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 2.55 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 3.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.10 FILM: Stardust (2007)

7.30 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.55 Series of brief documentaries on religious and ethical issues. 8.00 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased reality show. In East Lancashire the hosts are mayoress Carol Stinton, hairdresser Jonny Kemp, spiritualist Sue Hartley and plumber Nick Holt. 9.00 FILM: What Happens In Vegas (2008) Starring Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Rob Corddry, Lake Bell, Jason Sudeikis and Treat Williams. Romantic comedy. A drunken impromptu wedding between two strangers in the Nevada city ends up in court when one of them wins a $3 million jackpot on a slot machine. However, the judge will only grant them a divorce – and their share of the winnings – if they make a go of the marriage by living together for six months. 11.00 British Comedy Awards Did you miss it last night? Shame. Alright, here’s your chance to see it agian, but you really should be more careful. 1.05am FILM: Bright Young Things (2003) Witty comedy drama adapted from a novel by Evelyn Waugh. 2.50 Wedding House 3.45 Brothers And Sisters 4.30 ER 5.15 Countdown

Channel Five

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 How Do They Do It? 10.30 How Do They Do It? 11.00 Cowboy Builders 12.00pm FILM: Mickey Mouse: Lonesome Ghosts (1937) 12.10 FILM: 3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain (1998) 1.50 FILM: See Spot Run (2001) 3.40 FILM: Disney’s Aladdin (1992) 5.30 Five News 5.35 FILM: The Fifth Element (1997)

Sky Sports 1 6.00am LIVE Cricket 11.30 Cricket World Cup – Capturing The World Cup 12.30pm Football’s Greatest 1.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 LIVE Spanish Football (x2) 10.00 Ford Super Sunday 11.30 European Rugby Special 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Spanish Football 5.30 European Rugby Special

Sky Sports 2 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Alaska’s Dalton Highway. The truck drivers gear up for another season on the icy roads. Greg and Lisa both have points to prove, Alex faces trouble on a mountain and rookie Ray makes a potentially lethal mistake. 9.00 FILM: The Transporter (2002) Starring Jason Statham, Qi Shu, Matt Schulze, Ric Young, Francois Berleand and Doug Rand. High-octane action thriller in which a former Special Forces operative, now working as a mercenary package deliverer, finds his life in great danger when he breaks the golden rule of his ask-noquestions job. 10.50 FILM: True Romance (1993) Starring Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Dennis Hopper, Val Kilmer, Gary Oldman and Brad Pitt. Actionpacked thriller about an unassuming Detroit comic-shop assistant who stumbles into a dangerously exciting underworld after accidentally coming into possession of a huge stash of cocaine. He and his new wife head for Los Angeles to make a sale - but both the Detroit mob and the LAPD are hot on his trail. 1.05am SuperCasino 4.00 Cowboy Builders 4.50 Meals In Moments 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 12.55pm LIVE European Rugby (x2) 5.30 Cricket 7.30 LIVE NFL (x2) 3.30am Cricket World Cup – Capturing The World Cup 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 This Week In WWE 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Cricket World Cup – Capturing The World Cup 2.00 Cricket 4.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 6.00 Airsports World 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 European Tour Golf 9.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 12.00am European Tour Golf 2.00 PGA Tour Golf 5.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

kextraterrestrial Sky1








12.00pm The Real A & E 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Real Filth Fighters 2.30 The Middle (x2) 3.30 The Simpsons (x5) 6.00 Got To Dance (x2) 8.00 Got To Dance: The Call-Backs 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 FILM: Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) 11.10 Best Of House 12.10am Martina Cole: Girls In Gangs London

7.00pm Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel 7.05 FILM: National Treasure: Book Of Secrets (2007) 9.00 Being Human. See highlights. 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 Being Human 12.30am Sun, Sex And Suspicious Parents 1.30 Coming Of Age

7.00pm The Normans 8.00 Dan Snow’s Norman Walks 8.30 Johnny Kingdom’s Year With The Birds 9.00 Justice: Fairness And Big Society Debate 10.00 FILM: My Best Friend (2006) 11.30 Legends: Thin Lizzy Bad Reputation 12.30am Iron Maiden: Flight 666 2.25 Dan Snow’s Norman Walks 2.55 The Normans

4.35pm Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.55 The Cube: Celebrity Special 5.55 Take Me Out 7.05 FILM: K-9 (1989) 8.00 Fyi Daily 8.05 FILM: K-9 (1989) 9.00 Benidorm 10.00 FILM: American Pie (1999) 10.55 Fyi Daily 11.00 FILM: American Pie (1999) 11.55 American Idol 12.55am Dancing On Ice

11.40am A Touch Of Frost 1.55pm Inspector Morse 3.55 FILM: Smokey And The Bandit II (1980) 5.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.05 Agatha Christie’s Marple 1.15am A Touch Of Frost 3.00 Film File 3.10 ITV3 Nightscreen 3.35 Emmerdale Omnibus

11.40am Supernanny US (x2) 1.25pm Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 2.30 How To Look Good Naked 3.00 Make It Or Break It 3.55 FILM: Project X (1987) 6.00 Friends (x3) 7.35 90210 8.25 Friends (x3) 10.00 FILM: Under Siege (1992) 12.05am Wife Swap USA (x2) 2.00 How To Look Good Naked

10.00am Scrapheap Challenge (x4) 2.15pm The Coach Trip (x5) 5.05 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 To Be Announced 8.30 My Place In The Sun 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 To Be Announced 11.00 Father Ted 11.30 The IT Crowd 12.00am Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.30 Deal Or No Deal 4.00 Close

11.00am Niagara (1952) 12.50pm Star Trek Special 1.00 Star Trek: First Contact (1996) 3.05 Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1956) 4.40 The Battle Of Britain (1969) 7.15 The Honeymooners (2005) 9.00 What Lies Beneath (2000) 11.25 The Commitments (1991) 1.40am American Splendor (2003) 3.45 Close

Brighton Lights

If you want to join us to make a TV channel for Brighton on terrestrial TV come to Latest MusicBar. 5.30pm Tuesdays

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monday 24 Silent Witness BBC1, 9pm Part one in this week’s doublebiller gives Nikki a break from the constant trauma and lets Harry have it full guns. Forensically speaking, that is. Human rights lawyer Anna Sandor gives Harry a bell and beckons him over to Budapest to investigate the death of a client. Conspiracies in human rights law? Surely not!

Episodes BBC2, 10pm The comedy continues and Sean and Beverly try to settle into LaLa Land to adapt their hit Brit comedy. It doesn’t help that Beverly can’t stand their new star Matt LeBlanc, and he’s not to keen on her either. Good thing Sean and Matt are okay, except that means an adventure in Las Vegas for the boys. Hmm.

Hotter Than My Daughter BBC3, 8pm Need a palette cleanser from the first day of the working week? Then tuck into this bizarre but fun series hosted by Liz McClarnon about mothers and daughters who row over their wardrobes. Tonight Scottish mum Zoe and daughter Nadia feel the other dresses inappropriately for their age. Makeover time! Love it.


¸ terrestrial BBC1


6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Saints And Scroungers 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Escape To The Country 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Deadly 60 3.35 Scoop 3.55 The Owl 4.00 The Big Performance 4.30 Blue Peter 4.55 Shaun The Sheep 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.10am Children’s television 9.10 The Koala Brothers 9.23 Dipdap 9.25 Sesame Tree 9.40 Big And Small 9.55 Guess With Jess 10.05 Postman Pat 10.20 Pingu 10.25 64 Zoo Lane 10.40 Chuggington: Badge Quest 10.45 Waybuloo 11.05 In The Night Garden 11.35 Ready Steady Cook 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 Climbing Great Buildings 2.15 Instant Restaurant 3.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Perfection 5.15 Antiques Road Trip

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show The stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 Inside Out John Warnett finds out why foraging for wild food is threatening the region’s woodlands. 8.00 EastEnders Whitney and Carol’s relationship is damaged further in the aftermath of Bianca’s imprisonment – but does Ricky have the strength to end their feud? 8.30 Stop Stalking Me: Panorama With stalking affecting an estimated two million people in Britain each year, most of them women, Panorama tells the extraordinary story of one woman who has been recording years of abuse – as it takes away her job, her home and her child. Panorama investigates how the UK laws are letting us down. 9.00 Silent Witness See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker asks the questions in the entertaining sports quiz. 11.05 Late Kick Off Mark Chapman presents the football magazine show. 11.35 The Graham Norton Show Repeat of Friday’s show. 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Giles And Sue Live The Good Life 1.25 Ancient Worlds 2.25 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 3.10 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads General knowledge quiz show. Eggs-citing. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Portillo travels the length and breadth of the country to see how the railways changed us. 7.00 Escape To The Country A series in which experts help prospective buyers to find their dream home in the country. 8.00 University Challenge In the first of their quarter-finals, Sheffield University plays Magdalen College, Oxford. Teams must win two quarterfinals to get through to the semis. 8.30 Baking Made Easy Chef, baker and patissier Lorraine Pascale shares her secrets, passion and knowledge on baking sweet and savoury recipes. Featuring old favourites and new twists on modern classics, as well as tips on helpful shortcuts, techniques and kitchen secrets for baking. 9.00 Horizon Series exploring topical scientific issues. 10.00 Episodes See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark. 11.20 Island Parish Chronicle of life in the parish of the Isles of Scilly. 11.50 The Planets Documentary series tracing the exploration of our solar system. 12.40am BBC News


6.00am Daybreak 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.29 Regional Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 1.51 ITV Weather 1.55 Regional News 1.58 Regional Weather 2.00 May The Best House Win 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.58 Regional Weather 4.00 To Be Announced 5.00 The Chase 6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 6.53 ITV Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl is arrested after lashing out when he is accused of starting the fire. They’re having a go at everyone with this fire. 7.30 Coronation Street Fiz panics when John crumbles under the weight of his guilt. 8.00 The Lakes Observational documentary set in the Lake District. 8.30 Coronation Street Anna and Eddie are introduced to their new foster daughter. Ah, good news somewhere on the cobbles then. 9.00 The Biggest Loser Davina McCall hosts week three of the weight-loss competition. Nine contestants remain, and this week they must work together as a team. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.28 ITV Weather 10.30 Regional News 10.34 Regional Weather 10.35 The Zoo Last in the documentary series focusing on London Zoo in Regent’s Park and its countryside sister zoo, Whipsnade. 11.35 That Sunday Night Show Possibly a repeat. Who knows. 12.05am Grimefighters 12.30 The Zone: Challenge Jackpot 1.30 QVC 2.00 Challenge Jackpot 2.33 ITV News Headlines 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Channel 4

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 According To Jim 9.00 Wife Swap USA 9.55 Desperate Housewives 10.55 Relocation: Phil Down Under 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Three In A Bed 12.35 The TV Book Club 1.05 FILM: Murphy’s War (1971) 3.10 Countdown 3.55 Deal Or No Deal? 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren’s good news is overshadowed when Jack reveals the intruder he hit is still unconscious. Oops. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 8.00 Birth Of Britain With Tony Robinson Actor Tony Robinson looks at the deep freezes over the last two and a half million years that have shaped the landscape of Britain. He visits the Lake District and the Scottish Highlands, before heading to London to unearth the bones of monkeys, rhinos and lions that many years ago lived by the Thames. 9.00 One Born Every Minute Fly-on-the-wall documentary series filmed in a busy maternity ward in Southampton. Two couples deal with long and difficult labours in very different ways. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own light-hearted chat show. Alan’s guests include Andrew Flintoff, Benedict Cumberbatch, Kerry Katona and Jamiroquai, who perform a song from their new album. Fancy. 11.05 The Joy Of Teen Sex Series exploring the sex lives of today’s teenagers. 12.10am Party Poker: Premier League Poker 1.10 Mosley 2.15 The Genius Of British Art 3.10 Titanic: The Mission 4.05 The Untold Battle Of Britain 5.00 ER 5.45 Yo Gabba Gabba

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Vanessa Show 11.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.40pm Five News 12.45 Rory And Paddy’s Even Greater British Adventure 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 2.55 Animal Rescue Squad 3.10 FILM: Murder At The Presidio (2005) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Cricket World Cup – Capturing The World Cup 11.30 Spanish Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Spanish Football 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Netbusters 6.00 The Sky Sports Years 7.00 LIVE Ford Monday Night Football 10.30 The Sky Sports Years 11.30 Netbusters 12.00am SPL Round-Up 12.30 Ford Monday Night Football 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 Netbusters

6.00 Home And Away Certain her end date is nigh, Marilyn attempts to say goodbye to the people of Summer Bay - but everyone is too busy to give her their attention. They’ll regret that. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Kate Walsh and Jayne Middlemiss. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert asks how the power of the sun is harnessed to generate electricity, how colour-changing lenses are manufactured, and how a falling plane can be caught with a parachute. 8.00 Emergency Bikers Actionpacked documentary series following the work of emergency bike crews. 9.00 FILM: Layer Cake (2004) Starring Daniel Craig, Michael Gambon, Tom Hardy, Jamie Foreman, Burn Gorman, Sally Hawkins and Sienna Miller. Sharp-edged crime thriller in which a London cocaine dealer wants to retire with his millions and his skin intact, but a mob boss has other ideas. 11.10 FILM: Death Wish II (1982) Starring Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland. Violent action sequel. 12.55am SuperCasino 4.05 Rory And Paddy’s Even Greater British Adventure 4.55 Rough Guide To Beaches 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Kings Of The Snow 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 European Rugby Special 8.30 Kings Of The Snow 9.00 PGA Tour Golf 12.00pm European Tour Golf 2.00 Saturday Fight Night 4.00 NFL 6.00 European Rugby Special 6.30 Extreme Carp 7.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 8.00 NFL 10.00 Extreme Carp 10.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.30 Fishing: Bass Fishing 12.30am European Tour Golf 1.30 PGA Tour Golf 2.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 4.00 PGA Tour Classic 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 10.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NFL 2.00 Kings Of The Snow 2.30 European Rugby Special 3.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 4.00 European Rugby Special 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Showjumping: Spruce Meadows Presents 8.00 Extra Time 8.30 Wild Spirits 9.00 Squash 10.00 WWE NXT 11.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am WWE Late Night Afterburn 1.00 WWE NXT 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Squash 5.15 Close

Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 X-Weighted: Families 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Cold Case 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 Dream Lives For Sale 10.00 Mental 11.00 Inside: The Prison Code 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Miami SWAT 2.40 99 Most Bizarre...

7.00pm Michel Roux’s Service 8.00 Hotter Than My Daughter. See highlights. 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Laura Hall: My Battle With Booze 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Being Human 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Laura Hall: My Battle With Booze 1.20 Hotter Than My Daughter 1.50 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Hop, Skip And Jump: The Story Of Children’s Play 8.30 This Is Your Life 9.00 Justice: A Citizen’s Guide To The 21st Century 10.00 Sex, Death And The Gods: Storyville 11.00 Justice: Fairness And Big Society Debate 12.00am Justice: A Citizen’s Guide To The 21st Century

2.35pm To Be Announced 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The Cube 8.00 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 8.30 Grimefighters 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 FILM: I Am Legend (2007) 10.55 Fyi Daily 11.00 FILM: I Am Legend (2007) 12.00am Coronation Street

12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 Born And Bred 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.05 Terry And June 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Born And Bred 8.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Rebus 10.00 Inspector Wexford: Road Rage 12.10am Numb3rs 1.05 Life 1.50 Drama Trails

12.05pm Everwood 1.00 Scrubs (x2) 2.00 Hollyoaks 2.30 Gilmore Girls 3.25 Life Unexpected 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Glee 10.00 Tool Academy 11.05 Rude Tube 2010 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 RuPaul’s Drag Race 1.50 Rude Tube 2010 2.45 Beauty And The Geek

4.40pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 5.45 Relocation, Relocation 6.50 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.05 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 11.10 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 11.40 Unreported World 12.15am Relocation, Relocation

11.00am The Battle Of Britain (1969) 1.35pm King Of Kings (1961) 4.40 The North Star (1943) 6.45 Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) 8.50 Black Swan Special 9.00 27 Dresses (2008) 11.10 Dog Soldiers (2001) 1.15am The Eye (2002) 3.10 Neds Special 3.20 Black Swan Special 3.40 Close

Brighton Lights

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Latest Seven 509: 18 - 24 Jan  

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