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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★

CLIVE OWEN on fatherhood p 15

19 – 25 January 2010

FREE WEEKLY

HEATHER MILLS on Dancing On Ice BRIGHTON MARATHON Training tips for runners

WIN! Sci-fi festival tickets

Hot food A healthy twist at 9 Bar Hove’s coolest gastro café

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welcome

L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary The launch of Holiday On Ice: Spirit 5 City Speak Will on the dollar signs in doggy DNA; Columnist Idol 5 Competitions Win tickets to the SFX sci-fi festival 7 Heather Mills’ VBites “Ice skating is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done...” 8 News The big chill – local heroes; Councillor Mary Mears on how the council coped with the snow 8 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters, emails and web comments 9 Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s at number one this week? 9 Bookings Candi Staton, Louis Theroux, Autechre, Marlena Shaw, Ash 10 Snap Shots Songwriter Chris Difford 11 Celebcity Billie Piper, Davina McCall and Jamie Oliver 12 Bare Cheek Big In 2010: The Traveling Wilburys... 12 Astral Angi Your star sign’s key traits 13 Cover feature Nutritionally balanced food with flavour at 9 Bar Café

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15 L7 INTERVIEW Clive Owen talks fame, fatherhood and hanging out at fun fairs as his emotional new family drama The Boys Are Back hits the big screen

When Hitchcock said you should never act with children, he obviously wasn’t thinking laterally. If you’re Clive Owen, for instance, co-starring in new family drama The Boys Are Back with a six-year-old kid, then you get to hang out at wildlife parks and fun fairs and pass it off as vital preparatory bonding work. Find out more about how Owen approached playing a grief-stricken single parent – and how he tackles the real-life role of dad – in our L7 Interview with the Golden Globe-winning actor. We’ve managed to get thus far into the new year without banging on about diets because, frankly, they’re boring and depressing and as ineffectual as Irregular Choice shoe-boots in snow. If only there were a third way. Well fancy that, there is, and it’s called the 9 Bar Café, Hove’s new bastion of tasty nutritionally balanced dining and the subject of this week’s cover feature. If that doesn’t put pay to your January cravings, Andrew Kay has another idea: buy the new Terre à Terre cookbook, the long-awaited tome from Brighton’s titans of veggie cooking and “purple-sprouting prose”, and simply read your way through a gorgeous five-course meal. See our in-depth book review in Food & Drink. You’ll also find plenty to do for real this January – from getting serious about running (see Sport) or bagging a bargain at the Ink-d gallery’s new year sale (see Art) to bringing yourself up to date with supernatural comedydrama Being Human (see Telly Talk). The best thing about January so far, this very British take on the current screen trend for vamps and weres is penned by Brighton’s own Toby Whithouse and just featured a cameo from Terry Wogan as The Grim Reaper. Nuff said.

16 LIFESTYLE 16 Hotlist Every cuisine from budget Italian to gourmet Indian 17 Food & Drink Veggie heaven with Terre à Terre’s new cookbook 18 Health What effect is office work having on your health?

19 WHAT’S ON 19 Stage From Homer and Sartre to dark contemporary comedy, teensy theatre Upstairs At The Three And Ten has it all 20 Music & Clubs Why Sting’s producer paid Jo Harman a home visit 24 Art & Events Will Self on the most depressing day of the year 23 Film More post-apocalyptic Americana with The Book Of Eli 24 Comedy & Gay Jimmy Carr and Revenge’s Wild West Party 25 Reviews Take That musical Never Forget, Dancing In The Street 26 Sport Marathon Mary’s five golden training rules 26 TV Telly Talk; your seven-day guide to what’s on the box

20 Latest on You can now follow Latest 7 and Latest Homes on Twitter. Sign up to your favourite sections and columnists to keep up to date with local entertainments stories, restaurant openings, health and beauty offers, celebrity gossip, property news and more.

Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor

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Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Jaime Pettit (Clubs) Editorial Assistant Sian Disson

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Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless

01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.


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SOCIAL DIARY David Parr (4Digital), Sarah Jane Orchin (You Got Papped) Nick Harvey (Harvey Marketing Company)

Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps the Holiday On Ice launch and Business Show networking event Ice ice baby It may have taken place on one of the snowiest days of the big freeze, but that didn’t stop ice skating fans turning out for the Brighton launch of the new Holiday On Ice Show, Spirit. Ronald Fox, Mayor Ann Norman, Consort Ken Norman, Carole Fox

Andrew Kay (Latest Magazine) Frances Ford (The Brighton Centre)

Louie French, Steve Jones (Jonesy Juice 107.2)

Robert Nemeth, Mike Weatherley (Hove and Portslade Conservative Parliamentary Candidate)

Hannah Wheeler - H2OH! Entertainment Richard Pearson - Visit Brighton

Net gains The Sealife Centre was the venue for a special networking event in advance of The Brighton and Hove Business Show on 14 April 2010. CanapĂŠs were supplied by Sussex County Cricket Club, with a selection of beverages from Barefoot Wines. The evening was an opportunity to gather information on how to get involved in the next Business Show. For further information visit www.brightonandhovebusinessshow.co.uk

Brian Fitch (Honorary Olderman), Glynn Jones

Jill Cobley, Laura Bird


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CITY SPEAK 05

Will

L7 is searching for a new local voice – and it’s providing a fascinating opportunity to find out what’s on your minds. Over the next few weeks we’ll be printing some of the submissions. First out of the post bag this week... Andrea Fox, 24, Brighton

Will Harris on the stupidist $59.95 you could spend

I

’m standing in an airport in North their owner will be so busy jamming Carolina, waiting for a connecting fistfuls of dollar bills into the flight, when I happen across a shredder they’ll forget to feed it and Canine Genealogy Kit. After a late it will die. night and a long flight, my first Should I really be surprised thought is that I’m so deprived of though? America is, after all, the sleep I’m hallucinating, but no. There cradle of modern consumer culture, a on the shelf, defying belief, defying nation famed as much for its deals sanity, is a Canine Genealogy Kit. It as for its ideals. If the legends are exists, it costs $59.95, and – worse true, the early pioneers bought the still – a dough-faced woman in a island of Manhattan for sixty guilders Cincinnati Reds sweatshirt is gazing (that’s about $1,000 in today’s at the thing as if she’s finally found money, or 16.5 Canine Genealogy what’s been missing from the last Kits). You can’t help but admire their sixty-odd years of her life and now ingenuity, that optimism that, she can die happy, at peace and in whatever they create, there will be a no two minds about the pedigree of market for it, some idiot will buy it. her pinscher. Somewhere This will need out there, I a closer look. think, sitting “Somewhere out there According to the in a box at box, Canine an opera or a Canine Genealogy Genealogy is a on the deck Millionaire is grinning simple process; of a yacht, a you rub a cotton Canine swab against the as the dollar bills roll in” Genealogy inside of your millionaire is dog’s cheek and send it off to the lab grinning as the dollar bills roll in. in the envelope provided. Some men As I leave the store I notice a Voice in white coats then “provide scientific Recognition Grocery List Organizer, a confirmation of the physical cross between an iPod and Rosie the characteristics, personality traits, Robot Maid from The Jetsons. Its and potential health risks your main feature is a microphone into mixed-breed dog has inherited”. Now which Americans yell “Cheetos! maybe it’s my innate British Oreos! More Cheetos!” and then cynicism but – if someone is receive a wallet-sized print out of prepared to pay $59.95 to take home their shopping list. I lean in to the one what is essentially an envelope and a on display, clear my throat, and cotton swab – surely the main risk to croak: “Coffee”. It costs $99.95. And their mixed-breed dog’s health is that they call it the land of the free.

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S

ix happy years in Brighton and eight homes. Each move consisting of both packing up then unpacking my belongings. By my math that means I’ve moved my belongings in and out of a van 16 times. Parents, friends, friends of friends and van drivers have helped me move from pillar to pier. I have lived in most areas of our city. Studenty Lewes Road. Middle class Seven Dials. Vertically challenging Hanover. Lord knows how you would go about my credit history check. I actually detest moving with every pulled muscle in my body. What is the correct way to pick up a box of DVDs? Every time I swear on my life, and all the flat-packed boxes under the stairs, that my roots are officially put down! Estate agents won’t thank me for saying this but there’s a lot to be said for staying put. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I moved to a sixth floor flat in a building with no lift. I’ve tried to move to Hanover on Hanover Day, you know, when the roads are closed. The recent move, to a flat on the seafront, happened during the Labour party conference, when our removal van accidentally

scrapped one of Gordon Brown’s official cars. I implore you, stay put! Place too small? Knock a wall through. No windows? Get some exciting curtains and put them up anyway, people will think you’re eccentric. Rubbish view? There must be a strike on, put up with it. I bet you’re thinking, if I hate it so much, why not stay in one place? I think with each move I feel that I am somehow bettering myself. Nicer surroundings equal nicer life. Importantly, more grownup life! Picking a new pad and moving without my parents’ help, financial or otherwise, makes me feel like an adult. Especially when I manage it without crying when I realise I’ve forgotten to pack my pant and sock draw. But ‘nicer’ life? Some of the coldest, messiest, noisiest places I’ve lived have been the ones with the best memories. I guess the moves have taught me home isn’t walls but peace of mind. So I’m off to eat treacle pudding and listen to Billy Joel with my housemate who has her nose in Jilly Cooper. If I ever fancy a change I’ll swap houses with someone for a week.

Want to read more from Andrea? comment@thelatest.co.uk

latestwill

Local with lots to say for yourself? Fancy your chances in Latest 7’s Columnist Idol? Send a 450 word sample column to bella@thelatest.co.uk

COMPETITIONS A TRIP TO THE ULTIMATE SCI-FI FESTIVAL

MESRINE PARTS ONE AND TWO ON DVD

What better way to escape the winter blues than with a day of sci-fi and fantasy escapism at Camber Sands? Organised by the SF and fantasy mag, the SFX festival takes place at Pontins in Camber Sands from 5-6 February and will feature sci-fi legends John Barrowman (Dr Who, Torchwood) and James Marsters (Buffy, Angel) amongst other famous humanoids. Enjoy a day of interviews, Q&As, music, video gaming, funfairs and awards together with other like-minded enthusiasts. We have five pairs of tickets to give away for Saturday 6 February. Beam me up Scotty! Q What are the Daleks in Dr Who most famous for saying?

César Award-winner Vincent Cassel and Academy Award-nominee Gerard Depardieu star in lavish double feature, Mesrine. Directed by Jean Francois Richet, he gangster biopic has been placed in a league with the epics of Scorsese and Coppola and is out on 25 January. We have three copies up for grabs. Q Who directed Mesrine?

CREATIVE STITCHES AND HOBBYCRAFT TICKETS Knit one pearl one and get yourself involved in a crafty new hobby. We have ten pairs of tickets for the Creative Stitches And Hobbycraft event at the Brighton Centre from 5-7 February. The tickets can be used by the winners on any of the days. Q According to the saying, ‘a stitch in time’ saves what?

DANGER MAN ON DVD Patrick McGoohan stars as charming spy John Drake in the British ’60s classic Danger Man, released on 25 January. We have two copies of the complete first series on DVD to giveaway. Thrills, spills and espionage for any wannabe spy. High voltage. Q In which decade was Danger Man first broadcast?

WIN!

 TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 25 January 2010.


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VBITES 07

VBites of wisdom Heather Mills on re-entering the media spotlight for Dancing On Ice

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hy would someone with good reason to complain about media intrusion and harassment go on a show like Dancing On Ice? You may well be asking this since I’m taking part in the show and, over the past few months, I’ve written in this column about the negative sides of media attention and celebrity culture. But I have also always said that the media can be used for good when it is a platform for education and promoting worthy causes. Dancing On Ice is a fantastic opportunity for me to bring attention to the many charity campaigns I support. And this is why I am willing to expose myself once again to the media’s harsh glare. The attention my taking part receives really has a positive impact on charities that just can’t generate that kind of media coverage on their own. Taking part in Dancing On Ice shines the media spotlight on the many charities I support.

TOM KAI GAI SOUP WITH RICE NOODLES Serves 4

“Ice skating is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I couldn’t find any other amputees to advise me, and now I know why” Be honest, would you have been able to even say what continent Darfur is on if it wasn’t for George Clooney (let alone know about the slaughter of hundreds of thousands of innocent men, women and children)? My commitment to the charities I support is not about wanting to get attention for myself. I’ve been campaigning behind the scenes for animal rights, environmental issues and human rights for over 20 years now. These days the best way I have of generating charity income is by putting myself in front of the camera. And do you know why? Because this is what the public demands. Training over the past few months has been so hard. I can tell you, ice-skating is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Dancing and even skiing is a doddle in comparison! I couldn’t find any other amputees to advise me, and now I know why – techinically it is almost impossible when the ankle on my leg won’t bend. But I’m really determined, and I don’t care if I’m the worst skater there. It isn’t just my charities that benefit from my taking part. I am always looking to inspire other amputees to be brave and try new things. If I can encourage just one amputee to have a go at something they’ve never tried before, I will have been a success in my eyes. Every week I’m still in the show helps others less fortunate than you or me. If you can pick up the phone and vote for me each week, it’ll be very much appreciated, and not just by me. Have you been watching Heather on Dancing On Ice? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Heather’s

DIARY

S

o much of my time has been taken up by Dancing On Ice but this hasn’t stopped me from planning two great Valentine’s Day celebrations at VBites. The first, on 6 February, is for Brighton and Hove’s gay couples, and the second is a singles night on 13 February. Both are going to be so much fun. You may think I would be justified in not wanting anything to do with sport after all the exercise I’ve been having – but you’d be wrong! I’m already thinking ahead to the Brighton Half Marathon and we’re having a Pasta Party at VBites from 18 to 20 February to help the runners consume as many carbs as they can beforehand.

Sharing the VBites love

Kingsway, Hove Lagoon, Hove BN3 4LX 01273 933757 www.vbites.com See website for winter opening times

Book your table now for VBites LGBT Valentines on 6 February. It’ll be a night of soft music, candles, sparkling wines and fine cuisine, and an ambience to match. Book your table early to avoid disappointment. We aren’t forgetting those that aren’t celebrating the patron saint of love. Instead, we say show your friends how much you love them on 13 February at VBites. Bring them down for our singles night – avoid the smooching couples, and spread the love around! Single or in a couple, we’ll show you a good time!

Ingredients 1 packet rice noodles – follow instructions on packet 1 pint of button mushrooms sliced thick 1 pint of Shitake mushrooms sliced thick 2 whole jalepenos sliced long 4 stalks of green onions sliced long batch of fresh cilantro, leave a little for garnish 1 lemongrass cut to about 2-3 inches, bruised 5 kaffir lime leaves, sliced (remove middle stem) 2 cans of coconut milk 2 tbsp of sugar 1 tsp of salt 1 tbsp of boullion 3 tbsp of tamarind 3 cups of water 2 tbsp chilli paste Method: 1 Put the can of coconut milk in pan, wait for it to boil. 2 Add lemongrass, lime leaves, sugar, salt, boullion, tamarind. 3 Add the other can of coconut milk and the water. 4 Add sliced jalepenos and mushrooms. 5 Stir gently, add chilli paste. 6 Once boiled add onions and cilantro. 7 Serve over rice noodles and sprinkle with a little cilantro to garnish.

Love is in the air Book your table now for VBites LGBT Valentin es on 6 February.

see you – Heather


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08 LATEST NEWS

L7 News

7

days of headlines with Phil Mills

From milk marathons to donated four-wheel drives, the big chill brought acts of local heroism

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trange yet pleasing how adversity brings out our Sunday best. Arctic weather conditions not experienced in the Brighton area for nearly 50 years were warmed by remarkable acts of kindness and the showing of community spirit: neighbours shopping for neighbours, friends digging out friends’ cars. Parking enforcement officers, often the butt of insults, volunteered their time to help colleagues grit paths and roads. A policeman recovering from a broken foot walked to work in Brighton from Peacehaven to help maintain emergency services. A daughter carrying a carton of milk set off at 7am during the worst of the crisis and reached her infirm mother’s home two hours later to feed her breakfast. She shivered as she trudged passed this Latest 7 columnist: “I’m on my way back now to get the kids’ lunch – and I’ll be back at mum’s again later to get her some tea.” Doctors and nurses worked well beyond their shift times to treat the hundreds of extra patients injured by falls. Firefighters and ambulance crews acted above and beyond the call of duty. A woman on her way to hospital was helped out of her car after it became stuck in the snow and ice by an ambulance crew in Saltdean near Brighton (pictured right). Age Concern Brighton Hove and Portslade (www.ageconcernbrightonhove.org.uk) was under severe pressure to reach many isolated older people and were touched when Rod Lamont and Jean Hopkins (pictured above) rang in to offer their four-wheel drives.

Rod said: “I knew we wouldn’t get stuck in these vehicles so I just thought I would see if I could help in some way.” Several others called in to volunteer to deliver shopping. Crisis Service Manager Tracey Gumbrell called them “local angels”. She said: “The volunteer drivers came in the nick of time – our workers were beginning to get really exhausted. They were having to go out on foot.

Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on the council snow strategy The cold snap we have all been experiencing over the last couple of weeks has been quite unprecedented. I have lived in Brighton all my life and it is certainly amongst the worst prolonged periods of snow that I can remember. Hopefully the worst of it will have gone by the time you are reading this but I would just like to take this opportunity to publicly thank everyone who went beyond the call of duty to keep some of the city’s essential services going in the face of some pretty tough odds. I have been particularly impressed with the way that residents have mucked in and pulled

We are so grateful to all those who offered and are continuing to offer their help.” Police stories include a sergeant from Brighton who was unable to get home and slept in a cell and, despite being off the next day, worked another shift. Police in Worthing found housing for 14 homeless people who desperately needed food and warmth. Neighbourhood police provided lifts and did shopping for the vulnerable. Officers cleared the pathway outside the home of a 93year-old woman in Midhurst. In Hove, a member of the public called police as a last resort because she was unable to get to the Royal Sussex County Hospital to visit her dying father. Two officers made sure she made it. In Lewes, officers assisted a man who was unable to get some gas to the home of an elderly woman. They took it from him and personally delivered the gas. Assistant Chief Constable Olivia Pinkney said she felt proud and called their efforts “exceptional.” There are hundreds of other examples and Latest 7 would like to hear them so tell us about your winter heroes. Who’s your big chill champion? comment@thelatest.co.uk

latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk My 92-year-old Grandpa gave me for Christmas his wristwatch, which he bought in 1941 in Africa during his service in World War II. It was an Oyster Rolex Chronometer. It meant the world to him, and having kept it safe for more than 70 years I have lost it in less than two weeks. It was as I walked to the Odeon cinema from my house in Hanover as the first snows started to settle on 5 January. I can’t believe it’s happened and I am totally gutted. Has anyone seen it? Becky Blair, by email [Anyone with any information for Becky can contact her via Latest 7] Dear Latest 7, I just wanted to say I enjoyed reading Dee Linden's column [Columnist Idol: Dee Linden, L7 456], her style of writing had an easy flow to it. I found her observations entertaining and I liked her slant on life. Good work! Ali, Hove [Re Columnist Idol: Dee Linden, L7 456] Where do I go when I want to just be myself and watch the world go by (being themselves too?) Brighton! Captured it perfectly, well done! Janey, by email If the city of Brighton and Hove (Nation too) had a complete set of street name signs and a complete set of property numbers on display it might possibly create a bottom-up liberating effect on all human activity and reduce the carbon footprint. It would make a universal postal system more viable. Yours faithfully, Nicholas Dunn-Coleman, Hove You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

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together to look after each other. Many residents who do not usually need help can become particularly vulnerable in severe cold weather and so it was really heartening to see people checking in on neighbours – particularly the elderly and those with mobility problems – and making sure they were warm and had enough food. We also had a fantastic response to our appeal for volunteer 4x4 drivers. Thirty six people came forward to help ferry hospital staff to and from work and made vital home visits to vulnerable residents. I would also like to thank the Council staff who have helped to keep the city moving. The snow plough operators and gritters worked around the clock to try and keep as many of the city’s roads and pavements open as possible and I think that in the

circumstances, they did as well as they could have done. Other Council staff, including refuse and recycling officers, park rangers and parking attendants were all drafted in to help with the clearance work and I cannot thank them enough for their efforts. But I probably shouldn’t be surprised about the city’s response – it may be a cliché but it is very much the British spirit to come together in times of difficulty. As always, we will take stock and learn from the experience of the past few weeks but in truth, there is only so much that the Council can do when faced with such severe weather conditions. Without your help, common sense and the responsibility you showed to your communities and those around you, things could have been a lot worse.


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BOOKINGS | CHART

L7 Bookings

09

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

On sale this week…

Brighton Download Chart TOP 10  Latest 1 Clockworks – Fairytales 2 Tenek – State Of Mind

CANDI STATON Concorde 2, 9 April, £18, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 There’ll now be a generation for whom Florence Welch is the voice of ‘You Got The Love’. The rest of us know that, when it comes to soul-tugging ’90s dance anthems, Candi Staton is queen. She’s back on the road.

ERRORS

3 Panos Christofi – In My Mind

Freebutt, 1 March, £8-9, 01273 603974, www.thefreebutt.com Young post-electro rockers from Glasgow play from forthcoming second album Come Down With Me (out 15 February).

4 Chaos Borne– Watching

MARLENA SHAW

7 Surrender Monkeys – John Agar Was Right

Concorde 2, 22 March, £17, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 The voice of ‘California Soul’ (at least for the version used on that Kentucky Fried Chicken ad) and a host of other retro soul-pop classics, whose ample achievements include having been Blue Note’s first female artist back in ’72.

STIFF LITTLE FINGERS

Concorde 2, 8 April, £12, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 Pop-punks who gave the world, er, ‘Girl All The Bad Guys Want’ play an intimate acoustic showcase with stripped back takes on their hits. Ash

ASH Concorde 2, £15, 1 May, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk, Having sold out the C2 last year, the ‘90s punkpop trio return in support of brand new single ‘Space Shot’, representing ‘H’ in their downloadfriendly A–Z Singles series, which involves them releasing 26 individual songs over 12 months.

9 Panos Christofi – If You Do What You Always Do 10 Vortex Generator – Regenerate

12 tenek If I Should Fall

BOWLING FOR SOUP

Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 18 March, £15, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org More “sliced split folded selected fused mingled occult wordless music” (or, to put it more succinctly, “mental dance”) from Warp signings Seann Booth and Rob Brown, whose latest album of unsettlingly precise glitch-tronica, Oversteps, is out 22 March.

8 Swarf – Parlour Tricks

11 Panos Christofi Only The Night

Concorde 2, 3 March, £16, www.concorde2.co.uk, 01273 673311 Seventies punks, who were the first band on an indie to enter the top 20, continue to spit out articulate social commentary.

AUTECHRE

6 Freudstein – Sister Sleaze

We have a new number one this week as bass-heavy indie rockers Clockworks hit the top spot with the moody ‘Fairytales’. Meanwhile it’s business as normal in the top five as the usual suspects play their version of musical chairs. Dark electro-pop types Tenek move up from four to two with ‘State Of Mind’, leap-frogging pop singer-songwriter Panos Christofi’s ‘In My Mind’. Meanwhile, Christofi’s name comes up again at five with ‘I’ll Never Know’ as the darkwave stylings of Chaos Borne’s ‘Watching’ move up to four.

AN EVENING WITH LOUIS THEROUX Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 19 February, £10.50, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org Paedophiles, Nazis, antihomosexual Baptists and The Hamiltons – Theroux has gently interrogated them all. Listen to the deceptively gawky king of the modern gonzo documentary in this opening event for SEE, The Brighton Documentary Film Festival (19-21 Feb).

5 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know

22 Jaybee Brokeback Mountain 23 Hu Ha Freedom

13 No Sharp Objects Wrong Kind of Love 24 Kid Komas/Loc E Fidget Changed 14 Chaos Borne The Game I Will 25 Senior Service 15 Surrender K-mean Monkeys With Friends 26 lolatwist Like These? pretty 16 No Sharp Objects 27 Jaybee Home Cowboys Blues 17 Chaos Borne 28 The Adam Kidd The Moment Band Into The Night 18 Surrender Monkeys 29 Spitefire Go Now! Voices Of Reason 19 Spitefire Blissfully Unaware 30 Loc E Chemical 20 N-D-E Romance Bad Habit 21 Cayden Cole Dance With My Father

SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart


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10 SNAP SHOTS

Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: songwriter Chris Difford

Brighton may seem like a dead end at the end of the A23 but it's a cute place to live. I like to collect music from Resident, one of the last bastions of music in Brighton. Music today, it's all around me, it’s louder than seagulls and as wonderful as life itself

Chris Difford on his way to the studio where he is working on a new solo album. Together with Glenn Tilbrook, Chris wrote the timeless Squeeze classics, ‘Up The Junction’ and ‘Cool For Cats’. He and Glenn are just about to head off for a fortnight to write new songs together.

the place for parties atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all birthdays, weddings, civil partnerships, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights

call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk manchester street, brighton

tel. 01273 687171

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar


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CELEBCITY 11

SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks Billie Piper blushes over TV sex-scenes, Davina McCall rations kids’ TV and Jamie Oliver drops in

Call Girl’s not for ‘family’ viewing S

ussex-based actress and ex-star of Dr Who, Billie Piper, says she can’t watch raunchy love scenes from her hit show, Secret Diary Of A Call Girl, with her husband of two years, Laurence Fox. In a recent interview, the 27-year-old mother of one said, “I don’t stop him, but we don’t watch it together – that would just be weird. I wouldn't watch it with my dad or brother, either. I have selective memory loss when it’s on.” Billie’s character, Belle de Jour, has taken part in scenes of “sploshing” (the act of having sex with food), and pretended to be a farmyard animal while filming selected sexy scenes. She has also admitted her fears about what her 15-month-old son Winston will think of her when he is older, saying, “I just hope I raise my son as someone who’s really openminded. And forgiving. ‘Forgive me son, for I have sinned.'” Secret Diary Of A Call Girl will return to our screens in early 2010.

DAVINA’S TV BAN Davina McCall, who now lives in rural West Sussex, has been Everyone’s fave cheeky TV che voicing some quite outspoken Jamie Oliver, was spotted goin f, views of late. Davina, who has g undercover in his Recipease fronted some of the most store – wel l, I say addictive reality TV shows of undercover, he was hat! Jamie is a regular visitor wearing a the past decade, has now as his new Italian in Black Lionto the city declared that she is become a bit of a hit with Brig Street has extremely concerned about hto ove r the last few months. Follow nians kids watching too much telly. on Twitter at jamie_oliver – heJamie The presenter, currently on regularly post great recipes our screens for the final and twitpics of all his Celebrity Big Brother and with Sky 1’s talent show, Got To Dance, restaurant sites. has revealed that she restricts her own kids’ viewing time to a maximum of one hour and fifteen minutes per day. “I only let them watch 15 minutes in the morning, and an hour after dinner," said McCall, who has three children, Holly, eight, six-year-old Tilly and Chester, three. “If I'm honest, I feel bad about that hour. It's not good for kids to watch telly. It definitely affects their behaviour.” Big Brother was among programmes recently blamed by teachers for causing problem behaviour in schools. Two-thirds of nearly 800 staff surveyed last year by the Association of Teachers and Lecturers said Big Brother had caused the most bad behaviour among pupils.

SPOTTED!

KHAN COMES CLEAN We spotted songstress Natasha Khan of Bat For Lashes outside the Argos store in Western Road during the grip of the big freeze. The two-times Mercury Music Prize nominee was seen clutching a broom and a plethora of cleaning products – maybe her new year’s resolution was to have a good old clearout!

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

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ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Eco mania! Bare Cheek's expert on all matters Green, Samantha Greene, advises you on all your eco worries and woes

Dear Tim…In about twenty years the only illumination available will

BARE CHEEK PREDICTS WHAT'S GOING TO BE POPULAR IN THE COMING YEAR • Keelhauling • “Oh, Whistle And I'll Come To You, My Lad”

• Whitstable

In & Out

SPECIAL NON-APPEARING CHARACTERS EDITION

In • 'Er Indoors • Joe Maplin • Vera from Cheers • Godot • Sybil Fawlty’s friend Audrey

Out

• Accidentally typing “the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog” instead of “the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”

• Shirley Conran

be the flaming torches held by ravening bands of scavengers who roam the blasted surface of the earth in search of precious human flesh to consume, so you might as well use as many high-wattage light bulbs as you like. Hope this has been of help, Samantha

• The Traveling Wilburys • Digging your own grave • Marathon dancing

• Mrs Mainwaring • Rosaline (from Romeo And Juliet) • Maris Crane • Rebecca • Len Mangel



Dear Samantha… My wife and I are always careful to use energysaving light bulbs, but I'm afraid we are having a bit of a “discussion” as to which wattage is better for the environment. My wife maintains that higher wattage bulbs both use more energy and burn out more quickly than lower wattage ones, but I'm not sure this is the case. Please let us know as there's a box of chocs (organic of course!) riding on your answer! Tim, Freshfield Road

Big in 2010



12

1/15/10

What we used to say An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms. WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Going forward” Graceless, lumbering phrase used to indicate that one piece of business has been concluded and another can be moved onto – “...so we're all agreed that the takeover should go ahead. Right, going forward, I'd like to propose an increase in our advertising budget.” WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Next”

BARDSLEY’S

Astral Angi

Astral pins down your key traits

★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}

★CANCER {June 22–July 22}

★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}

★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}

★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}

★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}

★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}

★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}

★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}

★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}

★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}

★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}

Willful but honest Arians must be careful not to seem too bossy right now. A certain level of assertiveness is fine but be careful not to go too far. Bite your tongue and agree. Taureans can be affectionate but also possessive. Why not try embarking on a series of meaningless relationships that might break the habit? That or learn to live with it. Geminis are quick witted and spontaneous. That can also seem flippant and nobody likes flippant. This week, write down all your witty ideas and see if they are funny later.

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

Cancerians can be devious and manipulative. Why not channel that and exploit your caring side this week. Not as much fun for you as being nasty but think of the Brownie points. Leos can be stubborn and proud but they are usually sincere. Seize that sincerity when being both stubborn or proud and flaunt your innate arrogance too. Virgos are fussy and puritanical, there’s little getting away from those traits. Have you considered lying about your birthday and pretending to be a nicer star sign?

On the positive side, Librans are romantic. On the negative, they can be frivolous. Now if you put the two traits together I can see a little problem here but lots of fun. Go for it. Scorpios have great imaginations, a wonderful asset. They can also be controlling. Put the two together and you have a very dangerous mind that must be kept in check. Sagis are often seen as Utopian. They are also tactless. It’s not a pretty combo, is it. Why not settle into a nice comfy chair and keep your ideas to yourself. Okay? Good.

Capricorns are both patient and pessimistic. A fine recipe for simply waiting for the worst to happen. Pull yourself together, nothing’s that bad, surely? Chin up eh? Dear old Aquarians, cranky and fun and also great communicators. Which is why we all spend so long listening to so many of your whacky ideas and loony projects. Pisceans can be both sensitive and slippery. Sensitive is nice, slippery less so. At Bardsley’s slippery fish are dealt with with a good battering. Not recommended for humans!


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COVER FEATURE 13

FIVE STAR AT 9 BAR Great food that won’t break the bank – or bust your belt – at Hove’s hottest gastro café

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t’s the new year, and messages telling you to diet bombard and depress at every turn. The best advice? Ignore them and start listening to Richard Lattimer, food enthusiast and owner of 9 Bar Café on Church Street, Hove. The diet industry is big business, and Richard’s is a fairly lone voice with a refreshing approach: don’t diet; eat out and enjoy good food, and lose weight. If you’ve ever got an early morning train from Brighton or Hove station, you’ll most probably know Richard. “I used to commute every day from Hove and it really annoyed me that I couldn’t get a decent cup of coffee at the station,” he says. Dissatisfied with his job in television, Richard realised if nobody else was going to do it, he’d have to set up a stall selling coffee. But Richard’s vision wasn’t to give early morning commuters any old coffee. It is probably fair to say he has something of a fanatical streak: there can’t be many coffee sellers who research the science of making the perfect espresso and join the Speciality Coffee Association before launching their first cappuccino. It is this dedication that Richard has now brought to 9 Bar Café, with its menu of modern British food. In under a year, 9 Bar Café has firmly established itself as one of Brighton and Hove’s best places to dine. In fact, it has been so successful, the lunchtime menu has expanded to meet demand. Richard has now turned his attention to finding an answer to the perennial national obsession with dieting following the excesses of Christmas. “I’ll be blunt, diets don’t work, because most people lose some weight, then quickly put it all back on plus a bit more. So they go on another diet, and the cycle of dieting continues on, and on,” says Richard. “I want diners at 9 Bar Café to think about food and dieting differently.”

With this in mind, a third of 9 Bar Café’s dishes are now the ideal combination of 30 per cent protein, 50 per cent carbohydrate, 20 per cent good fats and a range of nutrients. And they taste fantastic! The winter-warming pearl barley, sweet potato and leek stew with chestnut dumpling is a heartening respite from this freezing weather (whether you’re a dieter or not). There’s plenty of evidence to back up Richard’s approach. The British Dietetic Association says: “When people are on a diet, they feel as if they are denying themselves things, so when they come off it, they think, ‘Oh, thank God, I can go back to eating’.” Advice from the NHS is body weight can be kept at an acceptable level through a balanced healthy diet. Richard agrees: “Fad diets make people fat. Eating properly and exercising regularly is the way to lose weight.”

In his methodical way, Richard went back to scratch with his menu. He contacted a renowned nutritionist, a writer for national magazines, who gave him recommendations about nutritional content. With her advice in hand, Richard summoned the courage to approach head chef Tony Burns with the simple request: how can we make our food taste good without lots of butter? The taste and flavour of the food at 9 Bar Café is the basis of its growing reputation. Determined that nutritionally-balancing dishes shouldn’t mean compromising on taste, Richard went back to the drawing board, finding alternative ways of flavouring the new dishes. “All our nutritionally-balanced dishes are as exciting and interesting to eat as everything else on our menu, and include favourites such as chicken superfood salad,”

“All our nutritionally-balanced dishes are as exciting and interesting to eat as everything else on our menu”

Latest 7’s Andrew Kay comments: Having been impressed by the CRITIC ’S cooking at 9 Bar Café VIEW on several occasions I was fascinated to hear about this new initiative to offer a selection of healthy and nutritionally balanced dishes. My first impression was good – even without tasting. Why? Well, the dishes are a decent size; there’s nothing more depressing than diet food that looks like half portions. It’s the sure fire road to failure. That said, they taste good too. The chef has put a great deal of effort into making these dishes appealing to the eye and the mouth. This is exactly what you want when dining out with friends. I suspect this concept will appeal to everyone and not just those of us who want to shed a few pounds.

he says. In fact, the salads at 9 Bar Café are very special. Whet your appetite with thoughts of smoked venison loin salad with turnip top and radish, pickled beetroot and pomegranate dressing. Richard’s philosophy about food is making an impression in Brighton and Hove. The professional athletes from Hove’s ZT Fight Skool regularly eat there. Sol Gilbert, owner of the club, explains: “Good nutrition is important for our athletes. I recommend 9 Bar Café because finally we can stay in shape without resorting to tasteless food.” 9 Bar Café’s approach to food and dieting is simple, and herein lies the café’s success. As Richard says: “If food doesn’t taste good then there’s no point making it.” The problem with dieting is it is so easy to become bored with a regime based on dull meals without flavour or variety. Get down to 9 Bar Café and find out how good a nutritionally balanced menu can taste – whether you’re dieting or not. The ceviche of tuna, spiced papaya salsa, pine nuts and coriander is a pretty good place to start. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2PG, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk


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L7 INTERVIEW 15

CLOSE TO HOME Glen Ferris talks to Golden Globe-winning actor and real-life dad Clive Owen about playing a struggling single parent in his emotional new film, The Boys Are Back

C

live Owen’s latest movie couldn’t be further removed from the suave, gun-happy action flicks he’s been churning out in the past few years. Based on the memoirs of Australian sports writer Simon Carr, The Boys Are Back is about an absent father, raising his young son alone after the death of his wife while also trying to reconnect with a child from a previous marriage. The struggles of single parenting and the debilitating effects of grief and loss are chronicled in a refreshingly unmawkish and realistic way, and Owen has rarely been on better form. We spoke to the star about portraying grief, doing groundwork at fun fairs, and his real-life parenting skills.

boy [played by Brit actor George McKay] is simply brilliant, he’s old beyond his years. I think he’s got a great career ahead of him. How did you go about building a relationship with the boys? I was quite nervous about going in actually, because I really thought I needed time for us to get to know each other. So I went to Australia early and took Nicholas for days out. Each day was Clive and Nicholas time. I took him to a wildlife park and a fun fair and we just hung out with each other. I needed to get to a place where he really trusted me. I was always interested in the tougher elements of the script where things went the wrong way, and I thought it was important that he could trust me when we were filming those scenes. How do your real-life parenting techniques compare with those in the film? I’m certainly not as loose as him but I’m not a particularly strict parent. That’s not to say that I’d drive around with my girls on the bonnet of my car like he does at the start of the movie but I’d say I run a pretty loose ship in real life.

The Boys Are Back is an emotionally draining film to watch – was it tough to film? It’s an emotional film and I found it very moving from the first time I read the script. I think especially with those scenes in which I have to tell my son [young Australian actor Nicholas McAnulty] that his mum might not be around for much longer, I found it deeply upsetting. I’m a father myself and that was a reason for wanting to make the film really. Integral to the success of the film is your relationship with your sons; was it difficult finding the right young actors? The first time I sat down with Scott [Hicks, the director], I said to him that getting the right kids was hugely important, especially the youngest. That role really demanded an abstractness and an inability to take on new information about the loss of his mother, and Nicholas really nailed it. He was six years old and he just stood out at the auditions because of all this unpredictable energy. The older

“I’m not a particularly strict parent. That’s not to say that I’d drive around with my girls on the bonnet of my car...”

Your character is a sports writer who spends a lot of time away from home; did you feel any parallels with your life as an actor? Kind of, yeah. I’m now lucky enough to be able to dictate the rhythm and if I go away for any length of time to make a film, I’m able to get plenty of downtime and put it back into the family. There was a time when I was running around from film to film and it was very difficult; I suddenly realised that if I didn’t slow down then my kids would be 16 and I’d have missed it all. I definitely related to the character and how he was confronted with this tragedy that meant he had to have a crash course in parenting. The Boys Are Back contains some pretty grim subject matter; were you ever worried that it might be something of a downer for viewers? Yes, but then I’ve always been into films that have been a bit of a downer because it’s the stuff of our lives. It’s a film about a boy and his father grieving and anybody who has ever gone through that will be able to relate to it. But then anybody who has ever been estranged from their kids and anyone who doesn’t hang out enough with their kids will be able to relate to it. I was more worried about it being sentimental than I was about it being too heavy. I knew there was enough spirit to keep it from being maudlin and we were very rigorous to keep it from becoming too treacly. It’s a terrible thing that happens to them but it’s full of life – as well as that huge loss it’s about the beginning of a new relationship. The Boys Are Back is in cinemas from 22 January, local screening times tbc. Glen Ferris is Managing Editor of Screenrush (www.screenrush.co.uk)


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16 HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk

Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!

Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk

The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423

Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059

Metrodeco Metrodeco is Brighton’s only 1930s tea salon and art deco furniture shop. One of Kemp Town's newest venues, this Parisian-style cafe has already gained a big reputation for its cream teas, home-baked cakes, sandwiches and bespoke blends. But the real gourmet treat is their delightful afternoon tea. Take time to browse the basement floor of beautiful furnishings and gifts. Party bookings taken and dogs welcome. Metrodeco, 38 Upper St James’s St. BN2 1JN. 07956 978115, www.metro-deco.com

Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix

in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk

The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Twocourse menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com

Chinese

The Chilli Pickle

Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

French Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412 The Dorset

New Steine Bistro

Fat Leo

This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

L’Église

Sabai Thai Gastrobar

Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk

Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk

Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Thai

Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk

To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105


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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 17

Food & Drink How do Terre à Terre manage to create veggie heaven on earth? Andrew Kay gets over-heated reading their long-awaited cookbook

Ciel sur terre A

few years ago I was sat out on the terrace at the back of Terre à Terre enjoying a delicious dinner with Amanda Powley, whom I had met many years before when she cooked at Billies. A few years later, I was one of the first through the door when she and Philip Taylor opened Terre à Terre in tiny premises in Pool Valley. I had a lunch that turned into a very long love affair – with Amanda, in one sense, yes, but definitely with Terre à Terre’s amazing approach to food. I know that I often take the rise out of vegetarians, especially the cranky ones, but I am full of admiration for what these two culinary giants stand for and have achieved. Anyway, back to that terrace and that delicious supper. We were tucking into a plate of “My mouth was what they called ‘Russian roulette peppers’. We later got watering – and so were to know them as Padrone my eyes from laughter – chillies but, as ever, they were ahead of the game. The conversation was foodie, at their simply delicious and I asked when Amanda was way with words” going to write a cookbook, and she said that she had already started. It was to take her quite a long time, but I should not have been surprised as I already knew how much of a perfectionist she is. All that was years ago, and finally, just before Christmas, the book arrived: a sexy volume that I could not wait to get home and pore over. I was not disappointed, as the book is written with Amanda’s inimitable style. I once described the menu as being written in purple sprouting prose. She certainly has a way with words and, just a few pages in, my mouth was watering – and so were my eyes from laughter – at their simply delicious way with words. It’s best not to take some of her dish names too seriously; I am sure they don’t. So how do you translate Terre à Terre’s often quite complex food to the page? Well, they have considered that, so although the dishes vary in complexity, the instructions appear to be very clear with a section of basics up the front. That said, I would say that it is not a book for absolute novices; a bit of experience might be necessary. It starts with some general notes and the basics and then heads into first courses. The Ruby Tang Thang looks challenging but Dunkin’ Doughnuts looks easier, as do Chilly Bristols, which I loved when they were on the menu. Presentation, of course, is key to the whole Terre à Terre thing, and the pictures needed to reflect that. Thankfully they are clear as a bell. Too many cookbooks have suffered at the hands of arty photographers. I like to see what Amanda Powley

the food is meant to look like and the photos here certainly show that clearly but with a great deal of style. The terrible thing about the book is that it makes me hungry, really hungry, and as I read it is way past 11pm and there is no chance of satisfying that culinary itch, either in my reasonably well-stocked kitchen or by haring down Marine parade in the hope that the kitchen at Terre à Terre is still open. Over the years I have eaten there on so many occasions that I cannot Chilly Bristols remember how many truly delicious things I have eaten. As I browse the book I keep seeing them, memories of gourmet moments that, even if I never ever try to do this at home, make this fine book a worthwhile addition to my ever-swelling library of cookbooks. Here’s another thing, I have yet to do the full three-course thing at Terre à Terre. But in the literary version I can – I can do three, four, maybe even five courses without feeling any pain. It’s my ultimate diet plan: I will simply look at the pictures and read the details and feel truly sated. I recently said in another of my columns that I read food books like other men read pornography. Well, with this book I have finally hit hardcore. By the way, did I mention that this is a vegetarian recipe book? No? Oh, well it is – but the meatiest one I have ever read. Terre à Terre: The Vegetarian Cookbook is published by Absolute Press and available from Terre à Terre 71 East Street, Brighton BN1 1HQ, 01273 729051, www.terreaterre.co.uk What’s your favourite recipe book? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

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018_LS458_Health

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HEALTH

STRAIGHT UP Are you sitting comfortably? Zara Baker ponders the health implications of the 9 to 5 When it comes to office work, it's not just travelling in the recent icy weather that can be hazardous to our health. The normal 9 to 5 routine can affect our health and wellbeing in more ways than one.

The short term Like a school, the office environment spreads germs quickly from person to person. To minimise the spread of viruses, keep your computer and desk space clean and tidy – this is especially important if you are a temp and sharing with lots of other people. The outbreak of swine flu last year made many of us a lot more aware of the spread of germs, which can linger on hard surfaces for a long period of time. Each day, wipe down your desk, phone and computer with antibacterial wipes as a matter of habit. Air conditioning and heating systems allow germs to move quickly and freely about the office space. While going without heating isn’t practical at this time of year, rethinking the ventilation and heating methods in your workspace may be worthwhile. If you’re sitting at a computer all day, try and take frequent, short breaks when you can. Stepping away from your desk to make a cup of tea, or even to take a trip to the printer, gives your eyes a rest from staring at the monitor, minimising tension headaches. Always try and get outside for a lunch break. A ten minute breather in the fresh (despite being cold!) air will do you a world of good. A short walk will stretch out your muscles and reinvigorate you for the afternoon ahead. We become so accustomed to the office temperature and artificial lighting that the outside world can seem a shock to the system. But natural light is important for keeping the mind alert and the immune system healthy.

The long term Those in physical jobs may long to be sitting ‘safe and warm’ at a desk, especially with the raging cold weather outside. But there are pros and cons to all work situations, all of which will have repercussions for your long-term health. OK, so there is no sure-fire solution. You can’t keep abandoning your desk every half hour in a quest for exercise or shut down your computer every time a headache comes on. Work needs to be done. But making subtle changes to your working day can have beneficial long-term effects. First and foremost, think ergonomically and consider your posture. Your chair should be comfortable, the back rest supporting your lower back. Right angles are key to your body shape: elbows and knees should be bent at 90 degrees as you are seated. Feet should be level on the ground and your wrists kept straight. Typing and using a mouse can lead to repetitive strain injury (RSI) over time. A padded rest for your wrists should only be used when taking a pause from typing. When using a keyboard, keep the wrists raised slightly in a neutral position, instead of down on the desk. If you are taking a break from typing or using the mouse, move your hands to your lap or even to your sides, instead of keeping them poised in the same position. If you’re using a mouse, keep your arm close to your body. When staring at the monitor, the top of your screen should be level or slightly lower than your eyeline. The screen should be approximately an arm’s length away from you – which is not always possible in the office environment with desks close together to utilise available space. Make sure you take stock of your working space and seating – it only takes five minutes, but can make a lifetime’s difference to your wellbeing.

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STAGE 19

L7 WHAT’S ON

> Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 January>

Stage

Magic numbers Brighton’s smallest theatre, Upstairs At Three And Ten, are squeezing in everything from a one-hour Odyssey to a millennium’s worth of Gypsy history this season

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t may well be the smallest theatre space in Brighton but it is certainly building a massive reputation – not only for outstanding comedy and cabaret but for theatre too. In a world seemingly obsessed with improv, stand up and sketch comedy, it is great to see Upsatirs At The Three And Ten programming so much new and classic drama. In the 2009 Brighton Fringe Festival, the venue made a great showing with a string of theatre successes both in-house and elsewhere. Despite size restrictions, the space was brought to life by sheer talent. 2010 sees a further commitment to theatre and the virtual curtain (there is no space for a real one) goes up on Katy And Rach, an hourlong improvised drama which exploits the random nature of our existence and the comedy that ensues. (Their next show is on 27 January – see www.katyandrach.com for subsequent dates at the venue.) Katy And Rach

On 2-3 February, catch Joe Merriman’s sharp, bitchy and funny monologue Mother’s Boy. Stella is a business woman on a mission – she’s ripped off her gangland boss but she certainly hadn’t planned on the family getting involved. Fancy a classic but don’t want to spend hours deciphering impenetrable ‘theatre’? Then look no further than Theatre Ad Infinitum, who have done all the hard work for us and boiled the Homer’s Odyssey down to a one hour one man show (9 February). Directed by Nir Paldi, George Mann’s performance won him the Stage Award for Best Solo Performer. Watch his quest to reunite with his family and seek bloody revenge. Brighton Young Actors Company are clearly not intimidated by anything and are presenting the Jean-Paul Sartre play Huis Clos (9-11 March). Three people locked in a windowless room have to face, for the first time, both each other and their own consciousnesses. Of course the room is in hell, but as Sartre says, “l'enfer, c'est les autres”. This promises to be a fascinating and claustrophobic performance. Also on the horizon is the return to the venue of Bruce Bane with Bane: II

Stagelistings > Tuesday 19 to Monday 1 February > BRIGHTON DOME, CONCERT HALL 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Walton: Suite from Henry V, Gordon Jacob: Trombone Concert, Dvorák: Symphony No 8 >31 Jan, 2.45pm, £8–£32 BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 390 004 www.the-little.co.uk A Murder is Announced Agatha Christie’s classic thriller, adapted by Lesley Darbon >1–6 February, 7.45pm, £7.50 CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE, MINERVA STUDIO 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Calendar Girls Back at Chichester Festival Theatre after a successful tour and West End run. Based on the true

story of the WI women who sparked a global phenomenon when they persuaded one another to pose naked for a charity calendar. Stars Lynda Bellingham and Hannah Waterman. >27 Jan–6 Feb, 7.30pm, 2pm matinee Saturday & Tuesday, £11.50–£32.50 BRIGHTON CENTRE 01273 290131 www.brightoncentre.co.uk Holiday On Ice: Spirit With awardwinning sets, dramatic scene changes and a dazzling collection of over 350 extravagant costumes, artistic director Robin Cousins combines the four elements with global traditions and modern rhythms. >7 –24 Jan, various times and prices, see website for details

Mother’s Boy

(6 March). His first one man noir-ish comedy of revenge was brilliantly recieved at the 2009 Brighton Fringe Festival and nominated for an award at Edinburgh. Part two will no doubt pack more of the same power, and Latest 7’s Victoria Nangle predicts another hit. Finally, King Of The Gypsies (24 April) is Verbatim Theatre’s brash and vibrant look at the world of Romanis. The company and the Romani community here collide in a unique theatrical experience that once again wowed the critics at Edinburgh in 2009. The success of the venue’s 2009 festival programme has clearly spurred the team. They continue to programme boldly and provide Brighton audiences with a vital alternative to commercial theatre. Upstairs At Three And Ten, Steine St, 07800 983 290 www.upstairsatthreeandten.co.uk

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk London Philharmonic Orchestra Debussy, La Mer, Saint-Saëns, Piano Concerto 2, Bizet Symphony in C. Fabien Gabel conductor, Bertrand Chamayou piano. >31 Jan, 3pm, £12–£28 NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk The Tragedian: Part III Final part of Prodigal’s award-winning Trilogy, revealing the last tragic chapters in the life of ‘the first trans-Atlantic superstar’, actor Edmund Kean. >4 Feb, 9.30pm, £8.50 Adolf Pip Utton’s one-man show, set in the Fuhrer’s bunker, Berlin 1945. >5 Feb, 7pm, £8.50 Bacon Pip Utton’s one-man show about controversial artist Francis Bacon. >5 Feb, 7pm, £8.50

Bane: II

Chaplin Pip Utton’s one-man show about the actor/comedian. >5 Feb, 7pm, £8.50 NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 702563 www.newventure.org.uk The Ugly Ones Sharp, bizarre comedy on themes of beauty and identity. >16–23 Jan, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Sun, £6–£9 THEATRE ROYAL BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Spike Milligan’s celebrated war memoirs, adapted for the stage. >18–23 Jan, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Sat, £13–£28 Present Laughter Noel Coward's classic comedy set in the glamourous world of theatre, starring Robert Bathhurst. >25–30 Jan, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee Thu and Sat, £13–£28


020_LS458_musiclist/clublist

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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS

Clublistings

Musiclistings

> Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 January >

> Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 January >

JAM Thursday Night Fish Fry. A sweat box of ’50s R’n’B and Jamaican ska. 10pm, £3 LIFE Club NME. Live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1

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PLAYGROUP: DEAD FAMOUS

FRIDAY 22

Our favourite festival-in-a-club brings us three floors of dead that made a difference in celebrity hell! Think ’50s Hollywood glamour and tragedy, superageing rockers, forever silent stars and great figures from the history books. Take Elvis for a bourbon and a vintage shop at the indoor market or see Princess Diana heckling champion beat-boxer and half-machine, Reeps One while the UK’s best tribute act brings the King Of Pop back to the main stage! Plus the usual foot-stompin and brass-blarin’ from Los Albertos, full-on tropical orchestra Kalakuta Millionaires and old school rock’n’roll, vintage soul and R’n’B from Derriere. Its a strange afterworld, but you'll love it. Friday 22 January, Komedia

TUESDAY 19 AUDIO New Slang. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS 11pm–3am, £3/2 DIGITAL Glitterati. FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE San Frandisco. Dust off your disco shoes and polish up your disco balls... 11pm–3am, free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 LIFE The Vice Social. Dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10pm–2.30am, free b4 11, £3/2 after PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free

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AUDIO Supercharged. Catch the six-deck, DMC Champions here. Bassmen and bassbirds, The Scratch Perverts. 11pm–2.30am, £7/5 BRIGHTON COALITION Robot Rock. ’80s synth, electro rock and indie pop. 11pm–3am, £1 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and a squeeze of chart tracks. 11pm–3am, £1 LIFE Let's Kill Disco. Filthy beats from indie and electro to D'n'B and breaks. 10.30pm–2.30am, £2/1

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WEDNESDAY 20 HTRK + Sways + Tea House + On Paper Or In Hearts Almost unbearably cool Aussie electronica with smooth shoegaze atmospherics and a thumping human pulse. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £5.50 adv The Offbeats + Sweet Addiction + The Montagues + Georgina Levey Ska covers, rock, an acoustic three-piece and a Brightonian singer-songwriter. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £1.50 Trousseaux + The Mekano Set Strangely bewitching blend of vaudeville, French lyrics (though the band are from Brighton), industrial rock beats and horror atmospherics. Classy. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc

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Vive La France!: Naive New Beaters + We Are Enfant Terrible + Fortune Quirky FrancoAmerican electroclash-rap hybrid. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6/5 Way To Blue: The Songs of Nick Drake: Vashti Bunyan + Teddy Thompson + Green Gartside + Robyn Hitchcock + more An evening dedicated to cult ‘70s folk singer-songwriter, Nick Drake. Also featuring Lisa Hannigan, Scott Matthews, Danny Thompson, Teddy Thompson and Krystle Warren. Brighton Dome, 7.15pm, £22.50–£27.50 Welfare Mothers + Small Gods + Occasionals Moody acoustic folk from Aberdeen; not dissimilar to the great Bonnie Prince Billy. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc

SUNDAY 24

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BRIGHTON COALITION Frequency. Delivering a range of house/breaks/electro. 10pm, free HONEY CLUB Sundelicious. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1

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rockers Bucket-Joy. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Vive La France!: Etienne Jaumet (Zombie Zombie) + Coming Soon + Minuscule Hey Headlined by Jaumet, of sleek ‘80s horror movie-loving Parisians Zombie Zombie. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6/5 Ska Bar 3: Los Albertos + Popes of Chillitown + Tin Roots + Truebeat Ska line-up, headlined by party-loving Brightonians Los Albertos. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4 The Rocket Dolls The Brighton based heavyriffing rockers fit in a set just before the Deviant alternative club night. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc

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SATURDAY 23 Marble Valley + The Pursuit + Wasp Factory + Doctor Pop Featuring the latest project from Steve West of US lo-fi heroes Pavement. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6/5 Vive La France!: Transformer + Marina Celeste Brightonian nu-rave types with the vocalist from sleek covers band Nouvelle Vague. Duke of York’s, 11pm, £6 Wanderdown + My Element + Tom And The Tides Brighton-based indie rockers aiming high with their blend of Radiohead moodiness and Coldplay's pop sensibility. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Willkommen Records Presents: Sixtoes + Laish + Kristin McClement + OCDC The Brighton-based collective host their own special night headlined by the haunting folk of Sixtoes. Komedia, 8pm, £5

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THURSDAY 21

AUDIO Summer Of Love. House, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Wired. A full blown visual production banging out pumping house and upfront electro beats. 11pm–4am, £10/8 CONCORDE 2 Black Box Techno. Orbital legend Phil Hartnoll spins some tech anarchy. 11pm-4am, £3 DIGITAL Shogun Audio. Back for the first bass bash of 20-10 with a line-up that'll melt your ears with D'n'B overlord Friction. 10pm–4am, £12.50/10 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 JAM Doctor’s Orders. Boom-bap, original soul and brand new bangers. 9pm, £8/5 LIFE Hold Up. Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 VOLKS Indepthaudio. Surging acid techno and hard trance through Funktion One sound. 11pm–6am, £8

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FRIDAY 22 Brighton Jazz Club: The John Law Trio, The Art Of Sound Weekly gathering of local musicans and jazz performers from further afield. Komedia, 8.30pm, £12–£15 Bucket-Joy + The Stars + Down to Earth + Fire Writers Headlined by young Brightonian grunge

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SUNDAY 24 3sum Sundays: Iris And The Wolves + Kiina + Phoenix Williams Local acts showcase. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £6/4 Pokey LaFarge And The South City Three Roots and country music from St Louis, Missouri. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Sudden Weather Change + Tall Ships + On Histories Of Rosenberg Headlined by Icelandic indie rockers with grungey tendencies. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £5/4

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MONDAY 25 Love Music Hate Racism: The Junk + The Sylence + Ru McLean Anti-racism show featuring local bands. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £tbc Nick Aldwinckle

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THURSDAY 21 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. Retro disco, ’80s pop, hair metal. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/2 DIGITAL Thursday Club. Raging bass heavy beats from Grime boss, Skepta. 10.30pm, £8 HONEY CLUB Fusion. Six DJs, three rooms of sexy R’n’B, indie and house, one place to be. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1

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Delphic + Mirrors Catch these big-hitting Manchester electro-rockers early: they're heading for big things. Support from decent Brightonian synth-lovers Mirrors. Audio, 7.30pm, £7 Donna Fullman + Illustrators + Remmy's Tab Headlined by decent Brighton-based acoustic folk singer-songwriter Fullman. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc

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BRIGHTON COALITION Burns. 10pm, £tbc DIGITAL Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll. 11pm–3am, £4 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Drink, Dance, Repeat. 11pm–4am, £5/3 HONEY CLUB Lollipop. A storming night of R'n'B, hip-hop, funky house, bashment, pop and more. 11pm–3.30am, £tbc JAM Broke. Wonky glitch-hop, cutting edge dubstep, jungle, breaks and splatterings of liquid D'n'B. 11pm–3am, free KOMEDIA Playgroup – Dead Famous. 11pm, £12/10 LIFE Daft Life. Alt.Dance. 8pm, £4/2 OCEAN ROOMS Freebass. All kindsa basses for all kindsa faces. 11pm–5am, free PAVILION TAVERN KOTJ. Loud, dirty rock n roll anthems! 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 VOLKS Wrong Music. The master of satanic sub frequencies, King Cannibal rises for his last UK gig before a huge USA tour. 10pm–6am, £8

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TUESDAY 19

MONDAY 25 AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Detention. Weekly student trash bash. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/free Jaime Pettit

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HTRK

Tuesday 19 January

Sunday 24 January

Wednesday 27 January

Café Scientifique Simon Goodwin of the University of Sheffield will be asking “Are We Alone?” 7.30pm, free/donations

Shiny Things Productions Present… 3sum Sundays: Iris & The Wolves + Kiina + Phoenix Williams 7.30pm, £6/4

Get Rhythm Live Presents… Rootie Tootie A night of Americana + country music featuring The Crucks + Danni Nicholls with Nick Funke + Amy Hill 8pm, £2

Wednesday 20 January

Monday 25 January

The Offbeats + Sweet Addiction + The Montagues + Georgina Levey 8pm, £1.50

Love Music Hate Racism Featuring The Junk + The Sylence + Ru McLean + open mic 7.30pm £tbc

Thursday 28 January 28th

Friday 22 January

Tuesday 26 January

Friday 29 January

Ska Bar: Los Albertos + Popes of Chillitown + Tin Roots + Truebeat + DJ 8pm, £4

Future Shorts Another exclusive selection of cutting edge short films from around the world courtesy of Future Shorts 7.30pm, £5

The Funky Buddha Band8pm, £5

The Jo Harman Project + Cordelia Fellowes + Bruise 8pm, £6

Saturday 23 January Closed for a private party

manchester street, brighton tel.

01273 687171

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar


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MUSIC 21

Musichighlights

Music

> Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 January >

PLAYGROUP: DEAD FAMOUS The whole of the Komedia will be co-opted for this ‘Dead Famous’ themed special from event organisers Playgroup. Live acts include swinghoppers The Correspondents, one of the UK's best Michael Jackson tribute acts, UK 2009 Beatbox Champion Reeps One, 14 piece Colombian samba carnival band Kalakuta Millionaires, festival legends Los Albertos, six-piece rockabilly and R’n’B act Derriere, and Samsara with dub and ska. The Blind Tiger Club, Brighton’s swinging occasional speakeasy, will take up residence in the studio bar. Friday 22 January, Komedia

With Jeff Hemmings

SKA BAR Third installment of the bi-monthly ska-flavoured night with a line-up that includes Tin Roots, The Popes Of Chillitown, Truebeat and Los Albertos. Ian Immediates spins the tunes... Friday 22 January, Latest Music Bar

NAIVE NEW BEATERS + WE ARE ENFANT TERRIBLE + FORTUNE Straight outta Paris come hotly tipped, punked-up pop and rapped-up electro-rockers Naive New Beaters, combining all things good from Daft Punk, Beastie Boys and Chromeo. Also on the bill of this Vive La France! event are equally hyped electro-pop trio We Are Enfant Terrible and the disco rhythms and spiky robotic rock of Fortune. France’s leading cultural magazine Les Inrocks provide the DJ action. Thursday 21 January, Freebutt

ERIN MCKEOWN + ANAIS MITCHELL The chameleon-like and talented multiinstrumentalist Erin McKeown is back in town in support of her latest album Hundreds Of Lions, which was released recently on Ani Di Franco’s Righteous Babes Records. Able to turn her hand to swing, jazz standards, pop, folk and rock, she’s supported by the incredible Anais Mitchell, a uniquely talented and intellectual storyteller in the folk tradition. Sunday 24 January, Hanbury Ballroom Erin McKeown

BUBBLEGUM POP With a great voice at their helm, the Jo Harman Project are taking retro soul in a poppier new direction

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n the wake of the live music boom and a renewed appreciation of some of the great female voices of the past – including the likes of Aretha Franklin and Dusty Springfield – a stream of new female singers is emerging, singers who can really deliver the goods. The name Jo Harman may not mean as much to you at the moment as that of Amy Winehouse, Adele, Florence Welch or Duffy. But she has an outstanding voice and a rich and evocative bluesy sound, full to the brim with soul. “I came to Brighton in 2007 to go to BIMM,” says Jo, who was brought up in rural Devon. “It was a Professional Diploma in Musicianship Specialising in Vocals. It aimed to give you the tools to be a professional musician. I had a great time at BIMM!” It certainly seemed to help. Shortly after graduating, Jo caught the ear of Mark Ede, the promoter and organiser of Soul Reality, a collective of highly regarded and skilled groove and soul musicians from London and Brighton. She’s been a regular fixture ever since, including appearing at the infamous 606 Club in Chelsea once a month. “I am a blues, soul, from the heart singer,” she says. “I like to improvise and freestyle. All the Soul Reality stuff is no rehearsal, and I really love

Friday 12th March £15

CONCORDE 2 Doors 7pm Show 7.30pm

www.concorde2.co.uk

01273 673311

that – it keeps me on my toes, and I get off on it... most of the time!” More recently, it’s the Jo Harman Project that has taken her in a new, more pop orientated direction. “Mark knew Pete Smith [Grammy winning producer of Sting]; he just sent out a recording of me. Pete phoned him up two minutes later and within half an hour was at my house playing me all his ideas. A week later I was in Denmark laying down some vocals at the MillFactory in Copenhagen with his co-producer, Boe Larsen.” The results of their collaboration can be heard on the Jo Harman Project’s debut EP, a richly produced, retro soul pop-inspired workout, which will be formally launched at gigs in London and Brighton. “My passion is ultimately for singers such as Ella Fitzgerald who I grew up listening to, singers like Jill Scott and dirty funk suff like Buddy Miles. But it’s gospel music that I find incredibly inspiring. I sit in my room and play gospel music really loudly and it brings tears to my eyes. I’m not religious, but I find the spirituality within it gives people something higher to aim for.” The Jo Harman Project, 28 January, Latest Music Bar

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022_LS458_Art/Events

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EVENTS | ART

Eventspreview

Arthighlights

> Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 January >

> Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 January >

Annett E Bank

WILL SELF Celebrate the most depressing day of the year (Blue Monday) in the company of Will Self, the esteemed novelist, social commentator and modern day ne’er do-weller. Psychologists have dubbed Monday 25 January ‘the most depressing day of the year’, when foul weather, debt, fading Christmas memories, failed resolutions and a lack of motivation conspire to depress. Writer Matthew De Abaitua will interview Self as to the significance of the day, as well as the value of free newspapers, the meaning of randomness and other topical poignant themes. Organised by New Writing South, the event is hosted by performance poet and storyteller Paul Lyalls, with support from stand-up poet, armchair revolutionary and recumbent rocker, Elvis McGonagall. Will Self: Lugubrious Monday, Komedia, 25 January, 7.30pm, £12, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton, www.newwritingsouth.com

Events highlights FRIDAY 22 The Stars This Month Uncover the mysteries of the night sky with this hour long presentation at Chichester's Planetarium. Advanced booking strongly advised. Kingsham Farm, Kingsham Road, Chichester, www.southdowns.org.uk, 01243 774400, 7.30pm, £6/£4

Working with an experimental focus on the concept of movement, dynamism and sensuality within the human figure, this Hove-based artist’s prints and paintings are colourful, energetic and elegant. The exhibition was set up in accordance with the manager Hervé Guyat’s special accommodation and art offer. Annett E Bank, New Steine Hotel,01273 681546. Until 15 February

350.0rg The international climate change campaign 350.0rg arrives in Brighton on 24 January, and Brighton-based artist and climate campaigner Cavan Rouse is taking over the Phoenix Gallery for the day to offer artists (alongside speakers, poets, musicians) an opportunity to show work relevant to climate change. Art For Climate Change Day, Phoenix Gallery, 10–14 Waterloo Place, Sunday 24 January, 11am–4pm. Those wishing to participate can call 01273 670723

Artist Studio Clear-Out Ink_d have asked all artists who have exhibited at the gallery to purge their studios for a January sale. There are bargains to be had from the likes of Graham Carter, Alex Binnie, Jim Sanders, Hutch, SNUB, Modern Toss, Ben Allen, Zachary Walsh, Imbue, Carrie Reichardt, Req, Andy Doig and many more. Artist Studio Clear-Out And January Sale, Ink_d Gallery, 96 North Road, brighton, 01273 645299. Until 21 February.

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The Dark Monarch

SATURDAY 23 Live And Unsigned Auditions 2010 Live and Unsigned is the largest national music competition for young artists. Their regional auditions come to Hove this week. Bands and solo artists are invited to apply online and in turn, perform at the live auditions at the Hove Centre in front of a panel of producers, label executives and promoters. Over £50 000 of rewards are on offer, including a recording and management contract with Future Music and a chance to go on the Live and Unsigned tour. The

BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989

Dine for

£10

2 courses & a glass of wine OR

25% off total food bill from A La Carte Menu Terms and conditions: Excludes Saturdays and Bank Holidays. 1 voucher for up to 6 people. BRING THIS VOUCHER. Please book in advance.

Live And Unsigned Festival plays host to the grand final at the 02 in London. Apply online at www.liveandunsigned.uk.com Hove Centre, Norton Road, Hove, 9.30am–3pm, last registration at 2pm.

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To advertise here costs only £20 Call Rachel Bryant now!

01273 818150 ext 102

© Damien Hirst/ DACS 2009 Photography by Prudence Cuming Associates Ltd

This touring exhibition takes its title from the infamous 1962 book by Sven Berlin, and explores how folklore, mysticism, mythology and the occult have influenced British art over the past 100 years. Originally curated for Tate St Ives, it features British artists such as Graham Sutherland, Barbara Hepworth, John Piper, Eva Rothschild and Damian Hirst. The Dark Monarch, Towner Gallery, Eastbourne, 01323 434670, 23 January –21 March


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Supported by

FILM 23

filmhighlight

L7 Film

Where The Wild Things Are (PG) Dir: Spike Jonze

A lonely young boy, Max, lands on an island entirely populated by mysterious, massive and very melancholy creatures – aka the Wild Things. They embrace Max into their community and, desperate for a leader, make him their new king. But ruling and keeping his subjects happy proves more of a challenge than he bargained for. Spike Jonze directs this screenplay of Maurice Sendak’s classic picture book. Showing at Odeon

Showing this week Daybreakers (15) Dir: Michael Spierig, Peter Spierig

It’s 2019. So, no flying cars, but there is a vampire plague. Sam Neill is a sun-shy, power-hungry corporate boss in the face of a blood shortage, out to set up a farm to keep the brood fed and paying through the vein. Benevolent vamp Ethan Hawke is Chief Blood Researcher, and finds a synthetic replacement for blood. Can he find the human rebellion in time? Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Up In The Air (15) Dir: Jason Reitman

The Book Of Eli (15) Dir: Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes

Sherlock Holmes

(12A)

Dir: Guy Ritchie

Expect mystery, action, adventure and a surprisingly adept English accent from Robert Downey Jnr as the eponymous Holmes. Ably assisted by Jude Law’s Doctor Watson, he meets a brand new nemesis. Yes, another one! This time it’s Mark Strong’s Lord Blackwood, out to bring down the entire country with elaborate plotting and new-fangled ideas. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Welcome to another post-apocalyptic landscape. America is a wasteland and Eli (Denzel Washington) is a loner surviving on his wits and his wicked shotgun and samurai sword. Doesn’t everybody have both of those? Anyway, before long he arrives at a ramshackle outpost in California ruled with an iron fist by Carnegie (Gary Oldman), who has more than a few aspirations for further greatness in the surrounding lands, and also a beautiful stepdaughter, Solara (Mila Kunis). Not so good for the surrounding lands it would seem. After befriending Solara, Eli escapes the encampment, only to discover he’s being followed by Solara. Now you know Carnegie wouldn’t let that lie, but together they fight through the wastelands, trouble hot on their tails, to reach San Francisco – and Eli’s destiny. Big plans in a barren wasteland. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Avatar 3D & 2D (12A) Dir: James Cameron A tale of a land inhabited by tall blue creatures called Na’vi, and some humans. Disabled human soldier Jake

(Sam Worthington) steps into his avatar resembling a Na’vi and meets a female of the species – Neytiri (Zoe

Saldana). Then it all kicks off with discovery and learning and the like. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

From the man who brought us Juno comes this quirky tale starring George Clooney as Ryan Bingham, a travelling management consultant – which means he goes around and makes folk redundant. Combining a romcom with a buddy movie, this is lovely – and tipped to collect big at the next round of award-giving. Showing at Duke of York’s, Cineworld and Odeon

A Prophet (18) Dir: Jacques Audiard

This French crime drama follows Malik (Tahar Rahim) from when he first enters prison at the age of 19, through his trial by fire introduction to the ways of the ruling gangs, his challenging of the prison ways, his lengthy sentence and ascension up the crime ranks. Showing at Duke of York’s

SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261

0871 224 4007

0871 200 2000

01903 206206

cineworld.co.uk

picturehouses.co.uk

odeon.co.uk

worthingtheatres.co.uk

TUESDAY 19

TUESDAY 19

TUESDAY 19

TUESDAY 19

Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 2.00, 4.10 Avatar 3D (12A) 4.00, 7.45 Avatar 2D (12A) 8.45 The Book Of Eli (15) 3.30, 6.30, 9.15 Bunny And The Bull (15) 8.45 Daybreakers (15) 1.45, 4.15, 7.00, 9.30 It’s Complicated (15) 2.30, 5.00, 8.00 Nine (12A) 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.15, 5.15, 8.30 St Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 6.10 Up In The Air (15) 2.45, 5.30, 8.15

Amelia (PG) 11.00am (Silver Screen) Nowhere Boy (15) 1.30 (Silver Screen) The Road (15) 6.30 Up In The Air (15) 4.00 (Silver Screen), 9.00

Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 11.50, 3.30, 4.25, 7.10, 8.00 Avatar 2D (12A) 1.10 The Book Of Eli (15) 12.10, 2.50, 5.30, 8.10 Daybreakers (15) 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50 It’s Complicated (15) 1.20, 6.00, 8.40 The Road (15) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 11.40, 2.40, 5.40, 8.30 Up In The Air (15) 12.50, 3.20, 5.50, 8.20

Nine (12A) 7.30 St Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 5.00

WEDNESDAY 20 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 12.30, 2.00, 4.10 Avatar 3D (12A) 4.00, 7.45 Avatar 2D (12A) 8.45 The Book Of Eli (15) 12.45, 3.30, 6.30, 9.15 Daybreakers (15) 1.45, 4.15, 7.00, 9.30 It’s Complicated (15) 11.50, 2.30, 5.00, 8.00 Nine (12A) 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.15, 5.15, 8.30 St Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 6.10 Up In The Air (15) 11.45, 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 Where TThe Wild Things Are (PG) 1.00

THURSDAY 21 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 12.30, 2.00, 4.10 Avatar 3D (12A) 4.00, 7.45 Avatar 2D (12A) 8.45 The Book Of Eli (15) 12.45, 3.30, 6.30, 9.15 Creation (PG) 10.30am Daybreakers (15) 1.45, 4.15, 7.00, 9.30 Did You Hear About The Morgans? (PG) 10.45am It’s Complicated (15) 11.50, 2.30, 5.00, 8.00 Nine (12A) 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 2.15, 5.15, 8.30 St Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 6.10 Up In The Air (15) 11.45, 2.45, 5.30, 8.15 Where The Wild Things Are (PG) 1.00

Films showing Friday 22–Monday 25 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times

WEDNESDAY 20 Amelia (PG) 11.00am (Silver Scream) Nowhere Boy (15) 6.30 The Road (15) 1.30 Up In The Air (15) 4.00, 9.00

WEDNESDAY 20

THURSDAY 21

Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 11.50, 3.30, 4.25, 7.10, 8.00 Avatar 2D (12A) 1.10 The Book Of Eli (15) 12.10, 2.50, 5.30, 8.10 Daybreakers (15) 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50 It’s Complicated (15) 1.20, 6.00, 8.40 The Road (15) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 11.40, 2.40, 5.40, 8.30 Up In The Air (15) 12.50, 3.20, 5.50, 8.20

The Road (15) 1.30, 6.30 Up In The Air (15) 4.00, 9.00

FRIDAY 22 A Prophet (18) 3.30, 9.00 Paranormal Activity (15)11.00 (Late Show)

SATURDAY 23 A Prophet (18) 4.00, 7.00 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2D (U) 11.00 (Kids’ Club)

SUNDAY 24 A Prophet (18) 3.30, 9.00

MONDAY 25 A Prophet (18) 3.30, 9.00

THURSDAY 21 Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (U) 4.00 Avatar 3D (12A) 11.50, 3.30, 4.25, 7.10, 8.00 Avatar 2D (12A) 1.10 The Book Of Eli (15) 12.10, 2.50, 5.30, 8.10 Daybreakers (15) 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50 It’s Complicated (15) 1.20, 6.00, 8.40 The Road (15) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 Sherlock Holmes (12A) 11.40, 2.40, 5.40, 8.30 Up In The Air (15) 12.50, 3.20, 5.50, 8.20

Avatar

Films showing Friday 22–Monday 25 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times

WEDNESDAY 20 Nine (12A) 7.30 St Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 5.00

THURSDAY 21 Nine (12A) 7.30 St Trinians 2: The Legend Of Frittons Gold (PG) 5.00

FRIDAY 22 Nothing listed for this date

SATURDAY 23 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (U) 10.15

SUNDAY 24 Nothing listed for this date

MONDAY 25 Wuthering Heights (1939) (U) 2.00

Sherlock Holmes


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COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS

Comedypreview

Gaylistings

> Tuesday 19 January to Monday 25 January >

> Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 January >

JIMMY CARR: RAPIER WIT

TUESDAY 19

H

e’s a clever lad, is Jimmy Carr. Carving a place for himself as a master gagsmith, Mr Carr has gigged and written nonstop – even when he was on the telly all the time! Actually, he still is, with a new series of 8 Out Of 10 Cats being chaired by the moon-faced comic, and various Top Ten countdowns being repeated over on E4 with Carr hosting the tension-building marathons. This is 2009’s sell out show, that appeared fast on the heels of the previous year’s sell out show which followed hot on the year before’s... you get the idea. Ever since he was nominated for the Perrier award in 2002, Carr has been collecting accolades for his sharp wit and cutting punchlines. From Best Stand-Up 2003 from Time Out, to awards at the Laftas in both 2004 and 2005, his determination to stay fresh and introduce a completely new show each year has stood him in good stead. This show is not one for the easily offended though, as recent controversy over one of his darker jokes about army amputees demonstrated. In fact, this is a strictly over 16s affair, as the tickets state clearly. There’s no soft soap humour here, and if you thought Jimmy Carr’s jokes were close to the bone on the telly, buckle up for the live show as this is without censor. Jimmy Carr: Rapier Wit, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, Friday 22 January, 8pm, £22.50

AMSTERDAM Karaoke with Ms Desdimona. Chase the Monday blues with some amazing Karaoke numbers for your delight! 9pm, free MARLBOROUGH Bring The Noise. Dare to share your own MP3 playlists and chill out with your own music. 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free R BAR Twisted Karaoke. With your host, Cat. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Deck Heroine LadyBex throws out ’80s, ’90s, ’00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. Plus a hefty raffle prize! 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free

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WEDNESDAY 20 AMSTERDAM The Piano Bar. Mark Russell woos the crowds with his special blend of music. 8pm, free LEGENDS Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Poker Night. Texas Hold’Em Poker tournament! Cash prizes and more up for grabs! 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Anything Goes. Karaoke, bingo and a music quiz all whizzed up by DJ Kamp Kevin. 12pm–1am, free R-BAR Midweek Mash Up. DJ Beast playing her finest mash ups from electro pop to darker shades of electric vibes! 12pm–2am THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free

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THURSDAY 21 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL: My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house and cheap as Primark pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Medication Thursday. After work drinks special plus a prescription free round of pool. 1pm, free LEGENDS Absolut Karaoke with Tammy Twinkle. 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls On Top Party. Richard Jones sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top Wild West Party. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free

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THURSDAY 21 Pappy’s Fresh from Channel 4 and a critically acclaimed, sell-out run at the 2009 Edinburgh Festival, “the funniest sketch troupe on the Fringe” (The Scotsman) continue to take the UK by storm. Komedia, 8pm, £12/10

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Prince Arthur Comedy Night Free comedy to help you laugh away those winter blues – and it doesn’t cost a penny. Prince Arthur Pub, 8pm, free

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FRIDAY 22 Jimmy Carr: Rapier Wit Another chance to catch Jimmy Carr’s Rapier Wit, as he returns to Brighton following his 2009 sell-out tour. Brighton Dome, Concert Hall, 8pm, £22.50.

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Krater Comedy Club Award-winning comedy every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Eat, drink, watch and laugh as three top stand-ups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit entertain you. Featuring Ian Stone, Paul F Taylor (Fri & Sat), Phil Nichol, Paul Redwood (Sun) and more! MC Stephen Grant. Komedia, 7.30pm, £14.50/10

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The Treason Show This satirical swipe at the world of politics, sport and popular culture is suitable for adults only; the more unscrupulous the adult, the better! Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 8pm, £12.50/10

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SATURDAY 23 Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 7pm, £17.50 & 10.30, £15

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Laugh Down Babylon Gerry Bernstein invites everyone to ‘Laugh Down Babylon’ with Johnny Armstrong, Elise Harris and Alex Marion. Caroline Of Brunswick, 8pm, £2

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Laughing Horse Comedy Stand-up comedy from some of the hottest-rising stars: Imran Yusuf, Canadian comedian Wade McElwain, Charlie Talbot, Tom Clutterbuck and Vicky Nangle. With resident compere Nigel Taylor. Late bar until 2am. Quadrant, 8pm, £6/5

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SUNDAY 24 Krater Comedy Club See Friday. Komedia, 8pm, £11/£6

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GIRLS ON TOP WILD WEST PARTY! Everyone’s favourite local deck Bandits, Lady Bex and Sheriff Smiffy are back with a rootin’ tootin’, gun slingin’, Tequila slammin’ night of debauchery! Take to the dancefloor for a midnight showdown, get filthy in the hay bales and have a wild night out west as Revenge transforms into the hottest saloon in town – complete with sexy Tequila ladies to keep you filled to the brim with moonshine. Expect all the usual melody mash-ups as the DJ heroines deal out fabulous chart, electro, house, garage, pop, old skool, rock, trash, dance, R’n’B and party tunes! There will also be a wily bucking bronco, so grab your boots, chaps and cowboy hats and get on down for GOT’s ultimate rhinestone-studded bash. Thursday 21 January, Revenge

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FRIDAY 22 CHARLES STREET BAR Candyfloss. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Dance & house. 9.30pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Q & A (Queer & Alternative). Playing indie, electro, soul, punk, and old school classics. 5pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag tunes with DJ Andy B. 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls On Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Lollipop. Chart remixes, dance anthems and commercial house. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop and handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free

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CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3 LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. Ignition DJ sounds from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Girls Rock On. Spinning their own selection of music by the women we love! 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Lorna & Friends + karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30-5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin ’til midnight! Bar open 12pm, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 6.5 hours of frolics! 10.30pm–5am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Viva La Divas + Booty Call. Live music followed by dancefloor sessions from DJ Rascal. 12pm, free THE ZONE Presents... Sally Vate. 9.30pm, free

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SUNDAY 24 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch + Connie's Karaoke. 12pm–1am, free DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Recovery Room + Electro Therapy. DJ D.A.B will be mixing a concoction of funky and dirty electro house on prescription! 8pm, free INK Pink. Future spaced out disco, nu electro pop GaGa, old skool Madonna. 8pm, £2/free LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret with All Mouth & No Trousers. 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Big Gay Quiz. With your host, Cat. 6pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Sandra + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays + Barmy Bingo. Relaxing acoustic sessions at 5pm followed by Miss Jason’s barmy bingo! 12pm–2am, free THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free

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MONDAY 25 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin party tracks spanning four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS DWNN Monday Gangbang. A night filled with song, sketches and chat. 11am–5am, free QUEENS ARMS Tammy Twinkle's Cabaret Karaoke Show. 8pm–1am, free R BAR Liz’s Quiz. 12pm–2am, £1 Entry THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free

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SATURDAY 23 AMSTERDAM A-List. Boutique clubbing with DJ Hollie spinning some fabulous soulful house sessions. 9pm, free

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025_LS458_reviews

1/15/10

2:58 PM

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REVIEWS

25

L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk CHARITY CHUCKLE

DANCING IN THE STREETS An evening of Tamla Motown music in the theatre could have all been so, so wrong. But it wasn’t; in fact, I would go as far as saying that, except for one weakness it was so, so right. Abandoning all thoughts of any drama and simply staging a tribute concert meant they could cast great singers. I knew and loved every song, as did most of the audience and, when it came time, I was up and dancing with the rest of them. A great band played the songs accurately and the cast did not indulge in the over-floreated, octave-jumping style of most contemporary soul singers but sang the songs as we know them. Theatre Royal Brighton, 11 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay

Those who made it through the arctic weather were rewarded with one of the best Charity Chuckles ever. Lee Hume compered, establishing an intimate rapport around the room – we were with trusted friends and in safe comedic hands. With the amiably cantankerous Wayne Connolly kicking off proceedings, Rue Barratt delivering an explosion of comedic energy, and Jim Holland bringing on a bumbling, likeable clown, the first section was great fun. The second half was equally invigorating with the hilariously enchanting Tash Dhanraj and Robin Buckland firing off gags with a pro’s timing. Headliner Julie Jepson was exceptional, as she practically improvised an entirely new headline set on the spot, specifically for the evening, which had us shrieking with laughter. Fantastic. Latest Music Bar, 8 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Anna DeAngelo Julie Jepson

NEVER FORGET: THE MUSICAL Theatre Royal Brighton, 8 January ✪✪✪✪✪

DAVE MCPHERSON The InMe frontman was suffering from a sore throat but still managed a full set of surprisingly folk and country-rock tinged numbers, often singing falsetto to save his voice. Gaz Marlowe of Dry Rise joined Dave on InMe’s ‘Turbulence’ and ‘All Terrain Vehicle’, adding intricate and complementary fills. A very accomplished guitarist, Dave also performed what may be the only song ever written in 17/32 time. Acoustic emo is not really my thing but support act Lost On Canvas played a selection of genuinely touching songs, particularly ‘Whisky’, a tribute to his late father. Latest Music Bar, 7 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Steve Clements

GUILTY PLEASURE

I VIVIAN GIRLS Brooklyn female pop-punks Vivian Girls’ debut LP was a mildly diverting lo-fi-ish jangly guitar jaunt; this show adopted the more mellow shoegaze sound of second album, Everything Goes Wrong. Retro-flavoured and reminiscent of the late ’80s/early ’90s indie rock of cult label 4AD and the gentle balladry of Mazzy Star, a sold-out Freebutt was seduced. Though largely atmospheric and occasionally enthralling – notably during the encore’s raucous take on ‘All The Time’ – unfortunately, this set lacked the energy to elevate the band from rock’s mid-leagues. This enjoyable romp through familiar territory was a pleasant musical draught for January’s gig-starved punter, though it ultimately offered little to remember. Freebutt, 14 January ✪✪✪✪✪ Nick Aldwinckle

’m not a fan of pop tribute shows. I hated Mamma Mia, and Thriller Live made my flesh creep – for all the wrong reasons. Never Forget I like – enough to have now seen it three times. By using a simple but effective story, this homage to Take That simply works. Very little suspension of belief is required when you find that the male members of the cast have entered a Take That tribute band competition. One of them is actually meant to have some talent and the rest are a bunch of misfits. What follows is their numerous comic attempts to try to make it as a band, meet girls, and guys, fend off avaricious managers, and try to save mum’s pub. Complicated? Not really, it’s all pretty lightweight. The songs are cleverly woven into the whole, not necessarily moving the narrative on in any

sense but never jarring. The company certainly gave it their all and, in this new and simpler staging, the story was smoother and the humour more readily accessible. And at the end of the day, this would be best described as a comedy. Philip Olivier, billed as a star, does not have the central role, but what he does have he milked for every comic opportunity – and he pulled it off. He certainly looked the part, too, with his rippling six pack on display for a good portion of the show, much to the audience’s delight. And, straight as Philip may be, he carried off the gay character very convincingly – too convincingly, I heard some members of the audience say. It could have been cheesy and mawkish, but somehow it’s not. I left singing the songs and with a smile on my face. Andrew Kay

>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk

...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk


026_LS458_Sports/TV_Column

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SPORT | TV

L7 Sport

L7 TV

YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE

19 –25 JANUARY

Marathon Mary

Telly Talk

Marathon Mary learns the golden rules of training

With Victoria Nangle

T

Blood, sweat and sequins

he biggest worry for me about running Brighton Marathon is the risk of getting injured. At the moment, I’m most concerned that an injury could halt my training or stop me from doing the race. I am also conscious of people I have known who trained badly for a marathon and ended up with a – perfectly preventable – long term ache or pain. So far I haven't had any major problems, except for slight pressure under my knees following my 13 mile runs. I’d rather be safe than sorry, so I went to see Dawn Leibe of Body Rehab Studios, an official Brighton Marathon physio. Dawn told me she has a set of golden rules which I could follow to do my best to protect my body. 1. Wear good trainers. Make sure they’re bought from a specialist running shop such as Run in Hove “Dawn told me or The Jog Shop in Brighton. Don't my knee ache put them in the washing machine, and change them regularly. was because my Although mine are less than 18 months old, she said the tiny feet move inwards cracks in the sides of the soles mean it’s time to get new ones. with each step” 2. Stretch properly. Before a run, warm up dynamically – with moving stretches – and cool down with careful exercises such as the ones in the videos at www.brightonmarathon.co.uk 3. If you’re not used to running, get fit with low impact exercise such as swimming and cycling. Going all out on running when your body’s not used to it can put you at risk. 4. Build your strength and make sure your muscles are balanced with core stability or pilates classes. Hot (bikram) yoga can also be good if your muscles are very tight. 5. See a physio before you have a serious injury. If there’s something bothering you or there are problems with your training, there’s still time to sort it out. If you ignore it and quell the pain with anti-inflammatories without dealing with the cause of the problem, there’s a chance you could not run the race. 6. Make sure you do regular strength training between runs to build muscles. 7. Always leave a day between runs – if you have injured yourself, you might not feel it until 24 hours later and running again will make it worse. 8. Mix up your runs with some on concrete and some on grass. 9. Three runs a week is plenty to start with, working up to four – there’s really no need to attempt five or even six! Dawn told me that my knee ache was because my feet pronate – move inwards with each step – but I can counter this with stretching and by getting good shoes. She is offering half price – £15 – assessments to all registered marathon runners. Call 01273 746898, email dawn@bodyrehabstudios.com or see www.bodyrehabstudios.com brightonmarathon.co.uk, www.beaconhalf.org.uk

Being Human, BBC3 Sunday, Material Girl, BBC1 Thursday, Dancing On Ice, ITV1 Sunday

W

hat with the dreaded snow playing havoc with the post, this year has started with me continually playing preview catch-up with some excellent new programmes. The first one to mention is Being Human, the highly addictive, top quality sci-fantasy drama about a vampire, ghost and werewolf flatsharing in Bristol – written and devised by Brightonian Toby Whithouse. A bit of local creative pride here. It’s back for a second series which, like the first, is being shown initially on Beeb 3 before heading over to the terrestrial channels for another run later. The cast is expanding and getting bolder. For one thing, everyone can see Annie the ghost, which makes her interaction a bit easier – and the big climactic death of vampire villain Herrick at the end of series one has not ended the intolerance amongst other supernaturals for their cosy keeping house arrangement. Cripes! Trouble on the horizon, and it’s going to be equipped with lots of quips and big teeth. Lenora Crichlow, who plays spectre Annie, is also popping up in a brand new drama series about the design industry. Really, it’s more exciting than I just made it sound. Just as the fashion industry has had it’s lid flipped by Gia and, more recently, The Devil Wears Prada, but fashion victims are not restricted to

journalists and models. Material Girl is Project Catwalk without the restraint, as Lenora’s aspiring designer is welcomed into the jungle, sans camouflage – it’s so ’98, Dahling! Then, of course, there’s the prime time beast that is Dancing On Ice. Yes, Latest 7 columnist Heather Mills is competing – and rather well if the judges are to be believed (read Heather’s own comments on the series in this week’s VBites, p7). But it’s also simply highly addictive and entertaining viewing. A bit like watching rugby crossed with gymnastics, all covered in sequins. This is a gruelling and graceful challenge for the signed-up celebrities. No matter how cool you think you are, your heart jumps into your mouth when a celeb stumbles and almost slices off a professional skater’s family jewels. These early days are when you really see the effort, before it all becomes seamless (yes, I have watched it before – viewing pleasure over coolness points every time in this house). Plus, there’s loads more. Happy 2010 viewing. It looks like it’s gonna be a good ’un.

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latestvicky


027_LS458_TV_Tues

1/14/10

4:59 PM

Page 1

tuesday 19 How To Look Good Naked... With A Difference Channel 4, 8pm We all know the format: find someone not happy with how they look and feel and let fashion guru Gok pizazz them into feeling bold as brass and ready to take their knickers off for a photoshoot. This (dubiously titled) special sees Gok hook up with unhappy disabled ladies.

How Earth Made Us BBC2, 9pm Not so much nature versus nurture, as nature and nurture ganging up and using the planet to shape the history of the human race. Professor Iain Stewart explores the relationship between the deep Earth and the development of human civilisation, exploring a crystal cave in Mexico and more.

Newswipe With Charlie Brooker BBC4, 10.30pm For those of us who like agendas to be out in the open when it comes to news reporting, it’s a treat to have Charlie Brooker back commenting on the big stories with his usual sarcasm and pith. Oh, how they’re told! This is one of the best ways of catching up with the news.

 terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Deadly 60 4.30 Street Monsters 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Geography 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Telling Tales 11.35 Telling Tales 11.40 Let’s Write A Story 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Bowls: World Championships 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00am Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Celebrity Big Brother 7.30 Celebrity Big Brother 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Back To You 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.35 FILM: The Enemy Below (1957) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.25 Come Dine With Me

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ian protests his innocence, while the police hunt for a vital piece of evidence. 8.00 Match Of The Day Live: Manchester City V Manchester United Live coverage of the first leg of the League Cup semi-final between Manchester City and Manchester United. This’ll be interesting, old rivals an’ all that. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Ali Abbas: Back To Baghdad Documentary. Ali Abbas became an icon of the Iraq War when he lost his arms after an American missile hit his home during the bombing of Baghdad. When images of him with arms amputated were beamed around the world, it sparked a tidal-wave of sympathy, and a charity fund was set up which brought him to Britain for treatment. Six years on, Ali is now 18, and he returns to Baghdad as Iraqi Forces regain control. 11.25 Film 2010 With Jonathan Ross New releases reviewed. 11.55 The Apprentice USA 12.40am The Apprentice USA 1.25 Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.00 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain 3.00 Wonderland: I Won University Challenge 3.40 Great British Railway Journeys 4.10 News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Documentary. Michael Portillo samples local Cheddar strawberries, explores Cheddar Gorge and the famous caves, and visits one of the oldest piers in the country at Weston Super Mare. 7.00 This World: Obama And Me This World has followed the lives of ordinary Americans who voted for Obama and had high hopes for his presidency. How have their lives been changed in Obama’s first year? 8.00 The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best Whether it’s fish and chips, salmon curry or meat and potato pie, Si and Dave explore why these have all made it into the hearts and recipe books of three mums with a story to tell and a family to feed. 9.00 How Earth Made Us See highlights. 10.00 Muslim Driving School Samiah has experienced life – married at 16, divorced at 18 – yet after 50 hours of lessons she’s not ready for her test. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of news. 11.20 An Island Parish A year in the life of the remote Isles of Scilly off the western coast of Cornwall. 11.50 An Island Parish 12.20am Bowls: World Championships – Extra 1.20 News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sally resorts to desperate measures in an attempt to stop Ashley leaving the village. 7.30 The Krypton Factor Today four more contestants battle it out for a place in the semi-finals, taking on challenges that will test their brains and bodies to the limit. 8.00 Send In The Dogs Series following the UK’s police dog squad and their handlers at work. The Met’s only father-and-son dog squad pairing are sent on a raid to a house suspected of being a cannabis factory. Know the one? 9.00 Piers Morgan On Shanghai Piers Morgan travels to Shanghai to meet the movers and shakers of a city which boasts 118,000 millionaires – and where the only thing communist appears to be the name of the government. Televised schmoozing. Nice. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Doctors And Nurses At War Series following volunteer doctors and nurses from the NHS and fulltime army surgeons in a front-line hospital in Afghanistan. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott. 1.25 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks In light of Hannah’s outburst, Zoe wonders whether she should continue filming the family. Not more pesky ethics, Zo! 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 How To Look Good Naked...With A Difference See highlights. 9.00 Gordon’s Great Escape Gordon Ramsay travels to India for the first time to experience the stunning diversity of its culinary traditions. Gordon ventures away from the tourist track and heads into northeast India. He immerses himself in the life of a meat-loving tribe in Nagaland, before travelling to Assam to enter a housewives competion to find the best Assamese dish. 10.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 11.15 The Big Bang Theory Comedy about a group of brainy but socially clueless scientists. Sheldon enters a competition but is annoyed when he discovers that Wil Wheaton, the only Star Trek actor he does not like, is also competing. 11.40 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the comedy panel show. 12.10am Full Tilt Poker Late Night Poker 1.10 Celebrity Big Brother Live 4.00 World Sport 4.30 Volvo Ocean Race 5.20 The Treacle People 5.30 Sali Mali 5.35 The Hoobs

6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.00 FILM: A Cooler Climate (1999) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away The truth about Riley Radcliffe emerges. His parents were compulsive alliteratives? 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Celebrity Quitters Series following Linda Robson, John Burton Race, Chloe Madeley, Paul Danan and Derek Acorah as they attempt to give up smoking. Linda panics when she loses her patches. Think there’s a song about that. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Alaska’s Dalton Highway. Look out for handy hints. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. The CSIs investigate the deaths of a porn producer and a drug dealer in a seemingly respectable neighbourhood. 10.00 CSI: Miami Drama. The CSIs are called to the murder of a man burned alive. Ow, ow ow! 11.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. The CSI team investigates the death of a professional diver in relation to a rumour of sunken treasure in the New York harbour. 11.55 The FBI Files Documentary. 12.55am SuperCasino 4.05 Divine Designs (x2) 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 SPL RoundUp 10.00 Football League: Championship 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30pm SPL Round-Up 1.00 Football League: Championship 2.30 SPL Round-Up 3.00 Netbusters 3.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.30 Football’s Next Star 5.30 Tour Down Under: Charity Classic 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.15 Revista De La Liga 11.15 Football Asia 11.45 Hyundai A League 12.15am Carling Cup Football 1.45 Revista De La Liga 2.45 Football Asia 3.15 Hyundai A League 3.45 Carling Cup Football 5.15 Football Asia 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 European Tour Golf: Joburg Open 10.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.00 PGA Tour Classic 12.00pm Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 Test Cricket 4.00 Women’s Pool 5.00 Sports Unlimited 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 Airsports World 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Poker 12.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 12.30 Sports Unlimited 1.30 World Cup Of Pool

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Poker: Million $ Cash Game 8.00 Test Cricket (x2) 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Golf - Profantastic Golf 8.00 World Cup Of Pool 9.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.30 Snow Ride 10.00 Golf - Profantastic Golf 11.00 World Cup Of Pool 12.00am UCI BMX Supercross Series 12.30 Golf – Profantastic Golf 1.30 Poker

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

1.30pm Models Of The Runway 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Stargate Continuum 10.50 Justin Lee Collins: The Wrestler 11.50 UK Border Force 12.50am Night Cops

7.00pm The Real Hustle Undercover 7.30 FILM: Ice Princess (2005) 9.00 I Believe In Ghosts: Joe Swash 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 IBelieve In Ghosts: Joe Swash 12.45am Coming Of Age 1.15 Almost Famous III 2.15 The Real Hustle Undercover

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Diary Of Anne Frank 8.00 Sahara With Michael Palin 9.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 9.50 Around The World In 80 Treasures Shorts 10.00 We Need Answers 10.30 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker. See highlights. 11.00 Dear Diary 12.00am Man Who Shot The 60s

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x2) 5.30 American Idol: Atlanta Auditions 7.00 Take Me Out 8.00 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 8.30 Grimefighters 9.00 FILM: Analyze That (2002) 11.05 FILM: Forget Paris (1995) 1.10am Emmerdale

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 Mr Bean 8.30 Mr Bean 9.00 Taggart 10.00 A Touch Of Frost 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.05 Inspector Morse 2.50 Film File 3.00 Teleshopping

1.15pm Celebrity Big Brother Live 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 90210 10.00 FILM: Planet Of The Apes (2001) 12.15am Celebrity Big Brother Live

4.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Country House Rescue 10.00 True Stories: Cowboys In India 11.40 FILM: The Last Thakur (2008) 1.20am Country House Rescue

11.00am Sailor Of The King (1953) 12.45pm Carrington VC (1954) 2.50 The Drum (1938) 4.45 Nowhere Boy Special 4.50 On Golden Pond (1981) 7.00 Son Of The Mask (2005) 8.50 Danny Boyle Special 9.00 Millions (2004) 10.55 The Wind That Shakes The Barley (2006) 1.25am Disco Pigs (2001)


028_LS458_TV_Wed

1/14/10

3:52 PM

Page 1

wednesday 20 The National Television Awards ITV1, 7.30pm Dermot O’Leary takes to the stage of the O2 Arena, as all of those celebrities sit on tenterhooks in the audience, waiting to see if their names are called and they get to say that it is the winning and not the taking part that counts. Who did you vote for? Will they win? .

Horizon: Pill Poppers BBC2, 9pm In one person’s life they are expected to take more than 14,000 pills. And that’s only the prescription ones. Since drug discoveries owe as much to blind chance as to diligent extreme hours at the bunsen burner, how much do we really know about what they do to us? Horizon asks the hard pill-popping questions.

Film: Flashdance ITV2, 11.05pm After Robert Webb’s phenomenal success at Comic Relief’s Let’s Dance competition, it only seems fair to make the effort to see the 1983 original that inspired such incredible legs to be unleashed. Stars Jennifer Beals as the young female welder who dreams of dance success and Michael Nouri as her love interest.

 terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.30 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 SMart 4.30 Street Monsters 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Tronji 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Deadly 60 8.00 Planet Ajay 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Nature’s Calendar 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Lifeline 2.10 Bowls: World Championships 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo finds out about Torquay’s micro climate, goes salmon fishing on the Dart estuary and spends some of Totnes’ new local currency. 7.00 Obama’s First Year: Reality Bites Gavin Esler presents a Newsnight special looking back at the drama and battles of Barack Obama’s first year in office. 7.30 James May At The Edge Of Space James always wanted to be an astronaut. Now, 40 years after the first Apollo landings, he gets a chance to fly to the edge of space in a U2 plane. He gets all the cool toys! 8.00 Natural World Jonathan Scott narrates the extraordinary story of the leopard – the one big cat that still survives across half the world while tigers, cheetahs and lions are all struggling. 9.00 Horizon: Pill Poppers See highlights. 10.00 The Persuasionists Sitcom. Billy and Keaton have fallen out, Greg has fallen in love, and Emma is more concerned about her new job – and with great responsibility comes great power. Can she handle it? Ad world. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 QI Comedy quiz show. 11.50 Nurse Jackie Dark comedy. 12.20am Bowls: World Championships – Extra 1.20 News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.50 Celebrity Big Brother 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Back To You 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.30 FILM: Guns At Batasi (1964) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.25 Come Dine With Me

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley is unnerved by Sally’s behaviour. Nicola is not impressed when Jimmy takes a driving job on the day before the christening. Val is determined to make the restaurant opening a success. All of this in loads of snow! Surely someone should just be thinking about getting the lambs in – or whatever livestock they may have. Or is this the future of farming, with weather-controlled conditions? Sci-fi spooky. 7.30 The National Television Awards See highlights. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Pelican Brief (1993) Starring Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington, Sam Shepard, John Heard, Tony Goldwyn and John Lithgow. Taut thriller based on the bestseller by John Grisham. Young law student Darby Shaw is forced to go on the run after a legal brief she writes about the assassination of two Supreme Court justices causes her to be targeted by killers. Her only aid comes from a journalist who helps her to uncover a conspiracy that reaches to the highest levels of goverment. 1.05am October Road 1.55 Loose Women 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Hannah is apprehensive about the possibility of leaving hospital. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Relocation, Relocation Kirstie and Phil meet Glasgow couple Inyang and Gregor Ross, who are risking everything to complete their dream move to Cornwall and have just three weeks to find a new home. It’s a fastpaced business this home-finding. 9.00 Gordon’s Great Escape The final part of Gordon’s journey begins with a trip to Kerala for the ultimate fish curry. He then travels to Tamil Nadu to stay in an ashram where the only options on the menu are vegetarian, and ends his Indian tour in the kitchen of Mumbai’s star-studded Taj Hotel. Puts your tikka masala in the shade proper. 10.20 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 11.35 My Daughter Amy Part of the First Cut documentary strand. Mitch Winehouse, father of ubiquitous singersongwriter Amy, talks openly about the effect of fame and tabloid scrutiny on his daughter and the rest of his family. 12.00am 4 Music: 360 Sessions 12.35 Celebrity Big Brother Live 2.50 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 4.40 Countdown 5.25 The Treacle People 5.35 The Hoobs

6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.05 FILM: Hard To Forget (1998) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Nicole deals with Liam’s declaration that he loves her. What does she do – put it in a drawer? How do you ‘deal’ with it? 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show.. 7.30 Celebrity Quitters Series following celebs as they struggle to quit smoking. Derek Acorah has to face his chain-smoking hairdresser. 8.00 Secrets Of Egypt: Pyramids Historical documentary series probing the secrets of Ancient Egypt. This film reveals the name of the man who designed the very first pyramid and shows how his ideas were refined and perfected, until pyramids eventually fell out of fashion altogether. So passé, dahling. 9.00 NCIS US drama series. The murder of a navy officer sparks a major security alert on board an aircraft carrier. 10.00 Numb3rs Detective drama series about a maths genius recruited by the FBI. The team investigates a shootout at a bank. It all adds up. Ha! 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. Logan and his new partner, Barek, investigate a series of increasingly violent robberies in jewellery stores. 11.55 PartyPoker.com World Open V 1.30am SuperCasino 4.05 Divine Designs (x2) 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Hyundai A League 10.00 Carling Cup Football 11.30 Revista De La Liga 12.30pm Hyundai A League 1.00 Carling Cup Football 2.30 Revista De La Liga 3.30 Hyundai A League 4.00 Carling Cup Football 5.25 Tour Down Under: Charity Classic 5.55 Football Asia 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.25 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.55 LIVE Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 11.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 1.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.30 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 3.30 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 5.30 European Tour Weekly

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Match Of The Day Live: Aston Villa V Blackburn Rovers Aston Villa host Blackburn Rovers at Villa Park in the second leg of the Carling Cup semi-final. How many legs does a cup need? No, really! It’s not like it needs to run anywhere, and it’s always being carried aloft. Obviously someone rushed into this leg thing. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws The midweek National Lottery draws including Thunderball and Lotto draws. Presented by Scott Mills. 10.45 FILM: Norbit (2007) Starring Eddie Murphy, Thandie Newton, Terry Crews, Clifton Powell, Marlon Wayans, Cuba Gooding Jr., Eddie Griffin, Katt Williams, Floyd Levine, Anthony Russell and Pat Crawford Brown. Romantic comedy. A put-upon husband sees an opportunity to free himself from his tyrannical wife when he is reunited with his childhood sweetheart. Firstly, however, he must foil the plans of his wife’s three brothers and a suave conman to turn an orphanage into a strip club. 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 1.25 Country Tracks 2.20 The Truth About Crime 3.20 Great British Railway Journeys 3.50 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Women’s Pool 10.00 World Cup Of Pool 11.00 Golf – Profantastic Golf 12.00pm Poker 2.00 Golf – Profantastic Golf 3.00 Poker 5.00 Watersports World 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 Inside The PGA Tour 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 PGA Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 11.00am Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 World Cup Of Pool 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Airsports World 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Women’s Pool 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Watersports World 8.00 Tenpin Bowling 9.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.30 LIVE Cricket

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Film4

12.30pm Project Runway 1.30 Models Of The Runway 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Fat Families 9.00 Got To Dance 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 Fat Families 12.00am Songbook: Duran Duran Special – Pt 2

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 FILM: Meet The Fockers (2004) 9.50 FILM: Pulp Fiction (1994) 12.20am Family Guy (x2) 1.05 Coming Of Age 1.35 Stag Weekends: The Dirty Secrets 2.35 Kill It, Cook It, Eat It: Fast Food 3.30 Coming Of Age 4.00 I Believe In Ghosts: Joe Swash

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Diary Of Anne Frank 8.00 The Children Who Fought Hitler 9.00 Shooting The War 10.00 Flight Of The Conchords 10.30 We Need Answers 11.00 FILM: Overlord (1975) 12.20am Shooting The War 1.20 We Need Answers 1.50 The Children Who Fought Hitler

4.40pm The Ricki Lake Show 5.30 Judge Judy (x2) 6.30 Popstar To Operastar 8.00 American Idol: Chicago Auditions 9.00 The BRIT Awards 2010 Launch Party 10.00 The National Television Awards Backstage Live 11.05 FILM: Flashdance (1983). See highlights. 1.00am The Kylie Show

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Wire In The Blood 11.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.55am Inspector Morse 2.35 Surgical Spirit 3.00 Teleshopping

1.20pm Celebrity Big Brother Live 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Van Wilder (2002) 10.50 Rude Tube 11.55 Celebrity Big Brother Live

2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.35 What Sank The Mary Rose? 11.40 Time Team 1.15am What Sank The Mary Rose?

11.00am Moulin Rouge (1952) 1.20pm Sailor Beware! (1956) 3.00 Captain Scarlett (1953) 4.30 The Tall Men (1955) 6.50 Save The Last Dance (2001) 9.00 Sunshine (2007) 11.10 The Ringer (2005) 1.00am Asylum (2005) 2.55 Danny Boyle Special


029_LS458_TV_Thurs

1/14/10

3:33 PM

Page 1

thursday 21 Slumdog Children Of Mumbai Channel 4, 9pm One of the things we must never stop thanking C4 for is its investment in provocative documentaries. This Dispatches Special, filmed over three months, chronicles the daily struggle of four impoverished young children living in the slums of Mumbai. Eye-widening stuff.

Rab C. Nesbitt BBC2, 9.30pm The string-vested Scotsman is back, giving all of his kinsmen a bad name. The new series kicks off with Rab and Mary welcoming their son Gash (yes, really) back to the family and becoming better acquainted with their granddaughter, Peaches. Bless. Then Jamesie goes to great lengths to get a lady into bed.

Big Brother’s Little Brother E4, 6pm Alright, so some of them have gone, some have stayed and some came in late – but which are which? If you’ve only caught snippets and need telling what’s what for your vital Celebrity Big Brother banter around the water cooler then here’s your chance to catch up, guided by the delightful George Lamb. That’s a relief.

 terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.30 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Gastronuts 4.35 Relic: Guardians Of The Museum 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary History 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Primary Literacy 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Bowls: World Championships 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.50 Celebrity Big Brother 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Science Scams 12.15 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.20 FILM: Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.25 Come Dine With Me

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Glenda is thrown when Ronnie turns up unexpectedly at her flat, but she has a bombshell of her own for her daughter. Bradley makes a sacrifice for Stacey. Is it a goat? Say it’s a goat. 8.00 Material Girl Drama about dreams, love and clothes. Will Ali ever be able to trust the two men in her life? Chris, who has been receiving mysterious texts in the middle of the night? Or Marco, who has agreed a deal with a new backer. See Telly Talk. 9.00 Silent Witness Drama about a team of forensic pathologists. Leo is concerned that the police are involved with a cover-up to protect a rogue undercover cop linked to the death of a young woman. Yeah, ‘cause his brain is so on the straight and narrow to be trsuted right now. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Topical debate with a panel of prominent public figures and an invited audience. 11.35 This Week 12.20am Skiing Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Countryfile 1.50 Great British Railway 2.20 Horizon: Why Do Viruses Kill? 3.20 Natural World 4.20 The Rat Pack 4.50 BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo visits the largest clay mine in the world near St Austell, goes pilchard fishing in Mevagissey and finds out how the estate of Heligan shaped British gardens. How did it?! 7.00 The Culture Show Verity Sharp presents from the Celtic Connections festival in Glasgow. This year the festival pays tribute to singersongwriter Nick Drake. 8.00 Jimmy’s Global Harvest Jimmy Doherty investigates new techniques and technologies that may help to meet the increased demand for food across the planet. 9.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and regulars Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons return for a new series with guests Milton Jones, Patrick Kielty and Mark Watson joining in the mocking. 9.30 Rab C Nesbitt See highlights. 10.00 Bellamy’s People Comedy. Award-winning radio phone-in host Gary Bellamy has been let out of the studio and given his own TV series in which he travels Britain to meet the British people. First episode. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Culture Show Repeat of earlier show. 12.20am Bowls: World Championships – Extra 1.20 News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley is appalled to discover the full extent of Sally’s lies. Soap rule no. 15: It all comes out in the end. 7.30 Can You Save A Grand In A Day?: Tonight Martin Lewis is set a challenge to do an extreme money makeover on a family to see how much he can save them in one day. 8.00 Emmerdale With Ashley suspended from duties, will the christening go ahead? 8.30 Coronation Street Tyrone has an idea who the other man in Molly’s life could be. That sly dog, Jack D. 9.00 The Bill DC Jo Masters believes that a man who broke into a couple’s flat is a stalker, but must find proof to back up her suspicions. That’s the way it usually works. You’d think she’d know, being a copper an that. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Rachel Nickell – Case Closed: Real Crime In 1992, Rachel Nickell was murdered in broad daylight on Wimbledon Common in front of her two-year-old son. This is the account of how it took 16 years to convict her killer. 11.35 The Krypton Factor 12.05am Nightwatch With Steve Scott. 1.00 Loose Women 1.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes fails to share Malachy’s enthusiasm when he suggests that they buy their own home. Is it in spin-off land? 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 My Dream Farm Experienced horticulturist Monty Don assists six familes as they try to realise their dream of quitting the rat race. Dick and Pauline Beijen seek Monty’s help as they relocate to a 44-acre property in Devon from the Netherlands. Dick’s arthritis is playing up and their savings are dwindling. Probably not the best suited to starting a farm from scratch, having the joint probs. 9.00 Slumdog Children Of Mumbai See highlights. 10.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 11.10 The World’s Biggest Family And Me Presenter Mark Dolan comes face to face with some of the world’s most incredible humans. Mark sets off on a global quest to learn the truth about families with ten or more children. What governs the need to breed? Mark learns how these parents survive what appears to many to be a logistical and financial nightmare. 12.10am Ashes To Diamonds 12.45 Celebrity Big Brother Live 3.55 St Elsewhere 4.40 Countdown 5.25 The Treacle People 5.35 The Hoobs

6.00 – 8.20am Chilsren’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.10 FILM: The Last Trimester (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Martha waits for Hugo to propose – only to receive a massive shock. Well, if you will go for a romantic picnic in an electric storm... 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Celebrity Quitters Following her visit from GP Ayan yesterday, Chloe Madeley is off to meet Linda and learn more about how skin is harmed by smoking. 8.00 Build A New Life In The Country David and Barbara attempt to renovate one of the country’s oldest lighthouses and turn it into a luxury B&B. Proper getway. 9.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green New series of the fishing adventure show with Robson Green. The journey begins in southern Africa, where Robson seeks the legendary Vundu catfish at Lake Kariba. 10.00 FILM: Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008) Starring Casper Van Dien, Jolene Blalock. Sci-fi second sequel. When a squad of troopers and their leader Sky Marshall Anoke are stranded on a planet in the Arachnid Quarantine Zone, trooper Johnny Rico leads a daring mission to rescue them from their bug-infested predicament. 12.05am SuperCasino 4.05 Divine Designs (x2) 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours

6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Trans World Sport 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 European Tour Golf: Abu Dhabi Golf Championship 1.00pm Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 3.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Tour Down Under: Charity Classic 6.00 Barclays Premier League World 6.30 Carling Cup Football 7.30 LIVE Scottish Cup Football 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Carling Cup Football 12.00am Barclays Premier League World 12.30 Scottish Cup Football 2.00 Carling Cup Football 3.00 Sky Sports Classics 3.15 LIVE International Cricket

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Women’s Pool 10.00 Cricket 10.30 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 12.30pm Cricket 1.00 Women’s Squash 2.00 European Tour Golf 4.00 Women’s Pool 5.00 Snow Ride 5.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 6.00 Cricket 6.30 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am ATP Tour Uncovered 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 European Tour Golf

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Tenpin Bowling 9.00 Snow Ride 9.30 Tracking Eero 10.00 Women’s Squash 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Tenpin Bowling 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Tracking Eero 3.00 Watersports World 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 FEI Equestrian World 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 Snow Ride 7.30 LIVE European Rugby: Challenge Cup 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 European Rugby: Challenge Cup 3.30 FEI Equestrian World Victoria Nangle

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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons...Access All Areas 9.00 Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 10.00 Bones 11.00 Fat Families 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Night Cops

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Cannabis: Britain’s Secret Farms 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle Undercover 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Cannabis: Britain’s Secret Farms 12.50am Material Girl 1.50 The Real Hustle Undercover

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 Time 9.00 Chemistry: A Volatile History 10.00 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 10.30 Aristotle’s Lagoon 11.30 My Family And Other Animals 1.00am Mark Lawson Talks To Imelda Staunton 2.00 Newswipe With Charlie Brooker 2.30 Time

3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 Take Me Out 7.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.30 Harry Hill’s The Best Of TV Burp 8.00 American Idol: Orlando Auditions 9.00 FILM: Flashdance (1983) 10.55 Coronation Street 11.25 FILM: The Grudge (2004) 1.20am Hell’s Kitchen USA 2.10 Emmerdale (x2)

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Darling Buds Of May 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Numb3rs 11.00 FILM: Murder By Numbers (2001) 1.20am Inspector Morse 3.00 Teleshopping

3.05pm Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother. See highlights. 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 10.00 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 11.00 Glee 11.55 Celebrity Big Brother Live

2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Brothers And Sisters (x2) 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Brothers And Sisters (x2)

11.00am Mirror (1976) 1.05pm The Malta Story (1953) 3.10 The History Of Mr Polly (1949) 5.00 My Darling Clementine (1946) 6.55 Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) 9.00 She’s The Man (2006) 11.00 The Beach (2000) 1.15am Danny Boyle Special 1.25 Waking Life (2001) 3.25 Avatar Special


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friday 22 Mastermind BBC2, 8pm After the flush of recent Celebrity Mastermind shows, it’s time for the real thing. John Humphreys has buffed up the big black chair and sharpened up his diction all ready for the public. Specialist subjects are; Lou Reed, Carl Gustav Mannerheim, Classical Greek Mythology and Martin Nadaud. See if you can do better.

Popstar To Operastar ITV1, 9pm Whose idea was it to have a gardener present a music show? Alan Titchmarsh aside, this is quite good fun. Teaching the technical ability to ne’er do well popstars like Alex James, Kym Marsh, Jimmy Osmond and their ilk and seeing if they can belt ‘em out with class. Don’t forget to vote for your favourite.

Film: American Gigolo ITV3, 11.05pm The 20-year-old film that set Richard Gere up as a sex symbol sees him playing the Beverly Hills gigolo, way before he snapped the jewellery case at Julia Robert’s working girl. This one’s less of a romcom though, as he’s set up as the scapegoat in a kinky sex murder. He best get away and prove his innocence.

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Horrible Histories 4.35 Prank Patrol 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Wibbly Pig 8.40 Get Squiggling 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Class Clips 11.15 Primary Geography 11.25 Something Special 11.40 Look And Read 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Bowls: World Championships 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo searches for the lost church of St Piran, explores the last working tin mine in Cornwall and harvests oysters on the Helford River. Multi-talented bloke. 7.00 Andrew Marr’s History Of Modern Britain Andrew Marr revisits Britain in 1945 and finds the country victorious but badly beaten up and nearly bankrupt. Like a Saturday morning if you’re not careful. 8.00 Mastermind See highlights. 8.30 An Island Parish Series charting a year in the life of the remote Isles of Scilly. 9.00 Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World In this episode historian Dan Snow charts the period from 1690 to 1759 and reveals how England and her Navy rose from the depths of military and economic disaster to achieve global supremacy. 10.00 Mock The Week Dara O Briain and regulars Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons return for a new series with guests Milton Jones, Patrick Kielty and Mark Watson joining in the mocking. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 The Review Show 12.05am Bowls: World Championships–Extra 1.05 Heroes 1.45 Medium 2.30 FILM:BlueCar(2002)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.50 Celebrity Big Brother 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.55 Deal Or No Deal 10.40 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 3 Minute Wonder: The Wall 12.10 How Clean Is Your House? 12.40 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.45 FILM: Destination Gobi (1953) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 4.55 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.25 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Steph panics about the wedding and tells Fernando she cannot marry him. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Ambreen: The Girl Boxer Documentary about Ambreen Sadiq, 15, the first Muslim female boxer in the UK. 8.00 Phil Down Under Phil Spencer helps British families as they relocate to Australia. Lee and Bronagh Davidson and their three daughters are looking for the perfect piece of Aussie real estate in Perth. G’day. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Live coverage from the Big Brother house, as Davina McCall reveals which celebrity has been evicted. Plus highlights from the previous day. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. 10.35 Celebrity Big Brother: Live The latest celebrity evictee chats to Davina McCall. 11.10 David Blaine: What Is Magic? Magician David Blaine travels across America performing a variety of stunts and tricks. 12.05am 4 Music: Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 12.20 4 Music: 360 Sessions 12.50 Celebrity Big Brother Live 4.00 FIVB Beach Volleyball World Tour 4.55 Grudge Match 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Hoobs

6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.05 FILM: A Child’s Cry For Help (1994) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Angelo’s obsession with Hugo reaches fever pitch. 6.25 Live From Studio Five 7.30 Celebrity Quitters The celebrities sample alternative therapies and techniques to keep them motivated not to smoke. For Paul, this means his very first experience of hypnosis. Chloe tries pole-dancing lessons. Probably a dim question, but how does that stop you smoking? Too much oil to hold one? 8.00 Knight Rider Updated version of the classic [80s series. Mike goes undercover in order to take out a money-laundering operation in Las Vegas. Gotta love America. 9.00 FILM: The Contractor (2007) Starring Wesley Snipes, Eliza Bennett, Lena Headey, Ralph Brown and Charles Dance. Action thriller in which a former CIA marksman is coaxed back in to service to assassinate a terrorist in London. Unfortunately, the ex-agent is framed for murder and is forced to go on the run. Bit of a bummer. 11.00 Paul Merton In Europe Paul visits an American Indian Club in the former GDR before exploring the Wunderland miniature railway in the affluent city of Hamburg. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.05 Motorsport Mundial 4.30 Divine Designs 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00pm Scottish Cup Football 1.30 Barclays Premier League World 2.00 International Cricket 4.00 Carling Cup Football 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Tour Down Under: Charity Classic 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night Live 12.00am Football League Weekend 1.00 World Sport 1.30 Spirit Of Yachting: Rolex Middle Seas Race 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 LIVE Cycling: Tour Down Under 5.00 World Sport 5.30 Spirit Of Yachting: Rolex Middle Seas Race

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz. 8.00 EastEnders Pat’s decision to deal with Janine has disastrous results for all concerned. Peggy is horrified by Roxy. She’s bang on. That dye job just ain’t right. 8.30 QI Quiz show where guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry gathers up a gallimaufrey of gingambobs, with Phill Jupitus, Hugh Dennis, Andy Hamilton and Alan Davies. 9.00 Silent Witness Drama. With Danielle missing and her lover on the run, Leo and the police struggle to unravel a complex web of deceit. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross In the second show of the series, Jonathan welcomes sizzling actress Billie Piper and top TV funnyman Alan Carr. Plus chat and performance from Alicia Keys. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Loadsa dosh! 11.45 FILM: Devil’s Advocate (1997) Starring Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves. Occult thriller. 2.00am Weatherview 2.05 Sign Zone: Lark Rise To Candleford 3.05 Great British Railway Journeys 3.35 An Island Parish 4.05 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley is in despair as he is labelled a cheat. 7.30 Coronation Street What are the results for Sally and Kevin? David is proud of sabotaging the house sale. Little git. 8.00 Dancing On Ice Friday Ben Shephard and Coleen Nolan present an exclusive preview of the performances for Sunday’s upcoming show which will see the girls and boys competing together for the first time. Knives on feet. Who thought that would be fun? 8.30 Coronation Street Sally’s cancer brings her and Kevin closer together – much to Molly’s envy. Can you actually see what’s happened Molly? Can you? Cliché mistress? 9.00 Popstar To Operastar See highlights. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 11.05 FILM: The Life Of David Gale (2003) Starring Kevin Spacey, Kate Winslet, Laura Linney. Crime thriller in which a member of an anti-capital punishment activist group is found guilty of the rape and murder of one of his close friends. With only a week to go before his execution, David Gale agrees to tell his story to journalist Bitsey Bloom. 1.25am Ladette To Lady 2.20 FILM: The Missouri Breaks (1976) 4.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am ATP Tour Uncovered 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 Carling Cup Semi-Final Special 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm FEI Equestrian World 1.30 Snow Ride 2.00 European Tour Golf 4.00 Trans World Sport 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 World Sport 6.30 European Tour Golf 8.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 11.00 European Tour Golf 12.30am Cycling: Tour Down Under 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 4.00 European Tour Golf 5.30 ATP Tour Uncovered

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Netball: Super League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm European Rugby: Challenge Cup 2.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 3.00 WWE Raw 5.00 Race World 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 Spirit Of Yachting: Rolex Middle Seas Race 7.30 International Cricket 9.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 11.30 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 12.30am European Rugby 3.00 Friday Fight Night 5.00 Football League Weekend Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm Sell Me The Answer 1.00 Project Runway 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.00 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 WWE Superstars 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Got To Dance 9.00 Fat Families 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Football’s Next Star 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Night Cops 1.50 Road Wars

7.00pm Top Gear 8.05 Wallace And Gromit’s Cracking Contraptions 8.10 Doctor Who 9.00 Being Human 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 I Believe In Ghosts: Joe Swash 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Coming Of Age 12.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.45 Being Human

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Jean Sibelius: The Early Years 8.30 Transatlantic Sessions 9.00 Arena: Brian Eno Another Green World 10.00 Brian Eno: Hits, Classics And Tracks 11.00 The Roxy Music Story 11.55 For All Mankind 1.10am Arena: Brian Eno Another Green World

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x2) 5.30 Creature Comforts 5.45 Dancing On Ice 7.30 Dancing On Ice - The Skate-Off 8.00 Grimefighters (x2) 9.00 FILM: Troy (2004) 12.10am FILM: The Last Kiss (2005) 2.15 Coronation Street (x2) 3.05 Emmerdale

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.05 Daily Cooks Challenge (x2) 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 Doc Martin 10.00 Kingdom 11.05 FILM: American Gigolo (1980) 1.25am Inspector Morse 3.00 On The Buses 3.30 Film File

2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.05 Wife Swap USA 11.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.05am Celebrity Big Brother Live

2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.20 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Collateral (2004) 11.20 The World’s Biggest Penis 12.20am FILM: Collateral (2004)

11.00am Operation Amsterdam (1959) 1.05pm The Gunfighter (1950) 2.45 Please Sir! (1971) 4.45 McLintock! (1963) 7.15 Nowhere Boy Special 7.20 Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) 9.00 The Wedding Date (2005) 10.40 Narc (2001) 12.45am Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ (2005) 3.00 Danny Boyle Special


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saturday 23 Total Wipeout BBC1, 6pm There’ll always be a part of you, when watching this elaborate obstacle race, that thinks: ‘folk’ll do anything to get on TV’. However, right behind that voice there’s another one whispering: ‘but it looks like great fun!’. Richard Hammond presents the obstacles that make The Krypton Factor look like hopscotch.

The BRITs Hits 30 ITV1, 10pm Who’d’ve thought that Newsnight and The BRITs started at the same time? Well, they did, as tonight’s programming testifies. Mel B hosts this celebration of 30 years of The BRIT Awards, featuring 15 of the most memorable performances as well as exclusive interviews with pop legends and the like. Pop on!

Nerdstock: 9 Lessons And Carols For Godless People BBC4, 9.45pm A chance to catch the sold out non-religious Christmas celebration of comedy, science and music recorded last month. Host Robin Ince is joined by Richard Dawkins, Brian Cox, Simon Singh and Ben Goldacre, as well as comics Mark Steel and Shappi Khorsandi.

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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.35 Rachel Allen: Home Cooking 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Tennis: Australian Open 2010 2.30 World Indoor Bowls Championships 4.30 Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.25 South East Today 5.30 Hole In The Wall

6.00am Big Cook Little Cook 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 7.00 Dennis & Gnasher 7.10 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 7.55 Leon 8.00 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.30 Jump Nation 9.30 Prank Patrol 10.00 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.30 Keep Your Enemies Close 11.00 The Slammer 11.30 Animals At Work 12.00pm Greek 12.45 The 5.19 Show 1.10 The Cut 1.40 Revealed 2.00 All Saints 2.45 FILM: Cromwell (1970) 5.00 A History Of Christianity 6.00 Empire Of The Seas: How The Navy Forged The Modern World In the second of a four part series, historian Dan Snow charts the defining role the Royal Navy played in Britain’s struggle for modernity. 7.00 The Legacy Of Lawrence Of Arabia Documentary. 8.00 Newsnight At 30 Jeremy Paxman presents a special programme to mark 30 years of Newsnight. What have been the big shifts in British politics and society over the last 30 years? Studio guests from the worlds of politics and culture debate. How history becomes current affairs. And vice versa. 9.00 QI XL Quiz show where guests get more points for being interesting. Stephen Fry gathers up a gallimaufrey of gingambobs in this extended show, with Phill Jupitus, Hugh Dennis, Andy Hamilton and Alan Davies. 9.45 Heroes Drama series about people around the world dealing with their newly discovered superpowers. 10.30 FILM: Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer (2006) Starring Ben Whishaw, Dustin Hoffman, Alan Rickman. Unsettling thriller. In eighteenth-century Paris, an invidious young man develops a heightened sense of smell, and becomes a skilled perfumier and a serial killer. 12.45am Bowls: World Championships – Extra 1.45 FILM: The Princess And The Warrior (2000)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.55 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.25 Popstar To Operastar 11.55 ITV News & Weather 12.00pm FA Cup Live: Preston North End V Chelsea 2.55 FILM: Police Academy 3: Back In Training (1986) 4.30 Meridian News And Weather 4.45 ITV News & Weather 5.00 FA Cup Live: Tottenham Hotspur V Leeds

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freesports On 4 7.30 World Sport 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 Glee 11.00 Glee 11.55 Celebrity Big Brother 12.55pm Celebrity Big Brother 1.30 Friends 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Three Hungry Boys 4.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 Barclays Premier League World 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Spanish Football (x3) 11.00 Ford Football Special 12.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 12.30 World Sport 1.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.30 Ford Football Special 2.30 LIVE Cycling: Tour Down Under 5.30 World Sport

7.15 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! A collection of hilarious clips from the archives. ‘Hilarious’ being a subjective term. 8.00 Take Me Out Matchmaker Paddy McGuinness continues trying to find love for 30 dateless divas. Hopeful fellas descending from the love lift today are Great Britain’s fitness trainer of the year, a male dinner lady, a Take That-loving builder and a rally-driving saxophone player. We’re sorry, but we can’t keep a straight face after that line-up. Is that really how people describe themselves? 9.00 All Star Mr & Mrs The pairs battling to raise cash for their chosen charities today are Lynda Bellingham and her husband Michael, EastEnders star Samantha Womack and her actor husband Mark Womack, and top chef Jean-Christophe Novelli and his fiancee Michelle. Smugness abounds. 10.00 BRITs Hits 30 See highlights. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 FA Cup Highlights Highlights from the Fourth Round as Ned Boulting presents the best action and the goals from all of today’s games with commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Peter Drury. Leeds provided the major upset in the last round knocking out Manchester United. 12.40am FILM: Spartan (2004) 2.30 FILM: Plain Truth (2004) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Cookery-based reality show in which chefs compete for the title of ultimate dinner host. Eccentric cafe owner Clive believes the key to hosting is to look presentable, so embarks on a trip to the beautician and hairdresser. No food, then? 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Kevin McCloud: Slumming It Kevin McCloud experiences first hand life in one of the most densely-populated places on Earth – the Indian slum of Dharavi. 8.00 Kevin McCloud: Slumming It Kevin’s journey continues as he explores the area’s recycling industry, which sees 80 per cent of plastic waste reused, and meets some of the locals who have made it big. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 10.00 FILM: Shooter (2007) Starring Mark Wahlberg, Michael Pena, Danny Glover, Kate Mara, Elias Koteas. Assassination thriller about a former Marine coaxed back into action to try to foil a hit on the President. However, the shooting goes ahead and he must fight to clear his name when he is implicated in the crime. They never have ugly heroes. Hmm. 12.25am Big Brother’s Big Mouth 1.25 Celebrity Big Brother Live 3.55 Scrapheap Challenge 4.50 Countdown 5.35 The Hoobs

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Hana’s Helpline 8.15 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.30 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.50 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green 12.00pm Build A New Life In The Country 1.00 Zoo Days 1.10 FILM: Christy: Return To Cutter Gap (2001) 3.00 FILM: Little Women (1994) 5.10 Five News 5.15 FILM: Patch Adams (1998) 7.20 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents. Tony and Ziva disappear while searching for smuggled weapons at a shipyard. When Abby tries tracking them via their GPS chips, she draws a blank. 8.15 NCIS US drama series. The wives of two marines are murdered and the team are desperate to find the killers before they attack another target. Not the wives. The wives are pretty inactive – not a zombie NCIS. 9.10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation US drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. A rock singer who had beaten a drug habit years ago is found to have overdosed while on tour. And a volunteer from the audience literally disappears during a magic act. Good show! 10.10 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. Two bodies are found at the north and south ends of the city. Mac and the team are soon on the trail of the ‘compass killer’ – but what is the motivation for his crimes? 11.10 Law And Order: SVU Drama series. The team tries to decipher a motive for the strangulation of an assistant DA in an area of town notorious for prostitution. 12.05am SuperCasino 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00 Total Wipeout See highlights. 7.00 So You Think You Can Dance The competition gets tougher as the search to find Britain’s favourite dancer continues. Who will stay in the competition, and who will be forced to dance for their lives? Well, not lives as such, but to stay on the telly and that. 8.00 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton hosts the quiz show where five contestants compete to be in the right place at the right time in a bid to win a big money jackpot. 8.50 So You Think You Can Dance Results The results are in for the ten remaining dancers as the competition continues. 9.20 Casualty Ruth and Jeff come to blows, while Dixie and Jeff try to persuade Polly to stay. Charlie strives to prove himself, but he receives some shocking news. 10.10 Live At The Apollo Stand-up comedy. BAFTA-nominated actor and comedian from the Valleys Rob Brydon hosts, and special guests are funny lady Sarah Millican and Ireland’s Jason Byrne. 10.55 BBC News 11.15 The Football League Show Highlights from the day’s Football League games. 12.15am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.15 Weatherview 1.20 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Friday Fight Night 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm LIVE European Rugby (x3) 8.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 12.00am European Tour Golf 1.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 2.00 NFL – Total Access 3.00 Sky Sports Classics 3.15 LIVE International Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Race World 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 NFL – America’s Game 9.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 1.30pm Cricket 2.00 Max Power 3.00 Cricket 3.30 Spirit Of Yachting: Rolex Middle Seas Race 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 European Tour Golf 6.30 Hopman Cup Tennis 7.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 8.00 Ford Football Special 9.00 Cricket 9.30 WWE Late Night Superstars 10.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.30 PGA Tour Golf 5.30 Spirit Of Yachting: Rolex Middle Seas Race

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12.00pm Football’s Next Star 1.00 Got To Dance (x5) 5.00 Got To Dance: The Semi-Finalists 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Oops TV 9.00 FILM: American Pie (1999) 10.50 Got To Dance: The Semi-Finalists 11.50 Bill Bailey’s Birdwatching Bonanza 12.50am NCIS: LA 1.50 Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Most Annoying People 2009 7.15 The Real Hustle Undercover (x2) 8.15 Top Gear 9.20 FILM: The Pacifier (2005) 10.55 Family Guy (x2) 11.40 FILM: Pulp Fiction (1994) 2.05am Being Human 3.05 I Believe In Ghosts: Joe Swash 4.05 The Real Hustle Undercover (x2) 5.05 Most Annoying People 2009

7.00pm Sight And Sound In Concert 7.40 The Scarlet Pimpernel 9.10 Dinner With Portillo 9.45 Nerdstock: 9 Lessons And Carols For Godless People. See highlights. 11.00 Nurse Jackie 11.30 The Armstrong & Miller Show 12.00am The Thick Of It 12.30 BBC Proms 2009: Lang Lang Plays Chopin

2.55pm Take That: Backstage At The Circus 3.55 The BRIT Awards 2010 Launch Party 4.55 American Idol: Chicago Auditions 5.55 American Idol: Orlando Auditions 6.55 FILM: Small Soldiers (1997) 9.00 FILM: The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) 11.25 FILM: Die Another Day (2002) 2.05am Teleshopping 4.05 Surface

9.35am Hornblower 11.45 The Darling Buds Of May 12.45pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.55 Pie In The Sky 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.55 Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Rebus 10.30 Trial And Retribution 12.40am A Is For Acid 2.25 On The Buses 2.50 Film File 3.00 Teleshopping

10.25am Celebrity Big Brother Live 11.50 How To Look Good Naked 12.55pm Wife Swap USA 1.50 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.20 Friends (x3) 6.00 90210 7.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 7.55 How I Met Your Mother(x2) 8.55 Friends (x3) 10.40 FILM: Planet Of The Apes (2001) 1.00am Celebrity Big Brother Live

12.05pm Time Team 1.05 Trains With Pete Waterman 2.10 FILM: The Sons Of Katie Elder (1965) 4.30 Grand Designs (x5) 10.00 Thriller In Manila 12.00am Sex In The 70s 1.00 Thriller In Manila 3.00 Sex In The 70s

12.55pm Nowhere Boy Special 1.00 James And The Giant Peach (1996) 2.35 The Four Feathers (1939) 4.50 Secondhand Lions (2003) 7.00 Danny Boyle Special 7.10 Millions (2004) 9.00 The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 11.45 28 Days Later (2001) 2.00am Asylum (2005)


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sunday 24 The Bible: A History Channel 4, 7pm A study of the Good Book, with seven people from around the world offering their interpretations. The series kicks off with Howard Jacobson, novelist and selfdescribed ‘non-practising Jew’. Travelling from the Dead Sea to the Natural History Museum, he gathers opinions and draws his own conclusions.

Film: Quadrophenia ITV1, 11.30pm A fun game for anyone familiar with the streets of Brighton: plot that geographically impossible mob dash! It’s the mid ‘60s and the Mods and Rockers are doing some clashing while tough lad Jimmy is falling in love and getting a little too fond of his drugs. Classic Brighton scenes you’ll love.

Being Human BBC3, 9pm The breakaway successful supernatural home-grown drama jumps from strength to strength as this week Mitchell gets closer to being the power centre of the vampires. No one wants vampires in chaos, obviously. Still, it’s a bit of a worrying development. Annie, meanwhile, decides to play Cupid. Ahh.

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6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 1.20 EastEnders 3.15 Only Fools And Horses 4.05 Only Fools And Horses 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00am Big Cook Little Cook 6.20 Clifford The Big Red Dog 6.35 Brum 6.45 Louie 7.00 Arthur 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Dennis & Gnasher 7.40 The Basil Brush Show 8.05 Jinx 8.25 Leon 8.30 Dani’s House 9.00 Tracy Beaker Returns 9.30 Spirit Warriors 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.15pm All Saints 1.00 European Figure Skating Championships – Highlights 2.30 World Indoor Bowls Championships 5.05 Ski Sunday 5.55 FILM: The Terminal (2004) 8.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine with Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond, including road tests, news and features. And lots of silliness. Boys with big toys. 9.00 The Great Rift: Africa’s Wild Heart Three-part series investigating the forces that have shaped the turbulent landscape and remarkable wildlife of Africa’s Great Rift Valley. 10.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa Art historian Gus Casely-Hayford explores the pre-colonial history of some of Africa’s most important kingdoms. When Emperor Haile Selassie was deposed by the Ethiopian military in 1974, an ancient kingdom came to an end. According to tradition, the imperial dynasty stretched back to 950 BC and its origins had links to King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. Casely-Hayford searches for the evidence and discovers why faith in the legend has lasted for centuries. 11.00 FILM: Five Minutes Of Heaven (2009) Starring Liam Neeson, James Nesbitt, Anamaria Marinca, Mark Davison, Kevin O’Neill, Noyes Diarmuid, Matthew McElhinney. Two men must come to terms with their past if they are to face the future in this tense and powerful award-winning drama that explores the legacy of violence in Northern Ireland. 12.25am The Persuasionists 12.55 FILM: Heaven (2002) 2.25 BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 FA Cup Highlights 10.50 Coronation Street Omnibus 1.05pm ITV News & Weather 1.15 FA Cup Live: Stoke City V Arsenal 3.30 Meridian News And Weather 3.45 FA Cup Live: Scunthorpe United V Manchester City (Followed By FA Cup 5th Round Draw)

6.00am The Hoobs 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 FIVB Beach Volleyball World Tour 7.55 Freesports On 4: Freeze 8.55 The Hills 9.20 Friends 9.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.25pm Celebrity Big Brother 1.35 Big Brother’s Little Brother 2.40 90210 3.40 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Glee

6.00 – 8.05am Chislren’s television 8.05 Hana’s Helpline 8.20 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.35 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.55 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.05 Olivia 9.20 The Mr. Men Show 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Hannah Montana 10.35 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.10 Rogue Raiders: Wild Boar 12.00pm Ice Road Truckers 1.00 FILM: Doctor Zhivago (1965) 4.40 Five News 4.45 FILM: Disney’s Atlantis – The Lost Empire (2001)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Spanish Football 8.30 Ford Football Special 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 LIVE Scottish Premier League (x2) 5.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 6.00 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE NFL: Conference Championship TBD 11.30 LIVE NFL: Conference Championship TBD 3.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 3.30 Wild Spirits 4.00 Spanish Football

6.10 ITV News; Weather 6.25 Dancing On Ice Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby host the ice dancing contest. The 12 remaining celebrities skate together for the first time, having undertaken their toughest training yet from Olympic legends Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean. After the performances, viewers have the chance to vote for their favourite couples. 8.45 Wild At Heart Drama series set on an African nature reserve. Alice becomes increasingly torn between helping Rowan to rehabilitate a tiger at Mara and her own responsibilities at Leopard’s Den. An everyday problem we can all identify with. 9.45 Dancing On Ice – The SkateOff Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby reveal the results of the public vote, as the two couples with the fewest votes battle it out in the skate-off. Who will be going home this week? Who has the most injuries? Who cried the most? 10.15 ITV News & Weather 10.30 FA Cup Highlights Highlights from the Fourth Round as Ned Boulting presents the best action and the goals. 11.30 FILM: Quadrophenia (1979) See highlights. 1.45am FILM: Charley Varrick (1973) 3.40 Dating The Enemy 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 The Bible: A History See highlights. 8.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. Has anyone snogged, thumped or bitched lately? This is the place to find out. 9.00 FILM: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) Starring Dev Patel, Mia Drake, Freida Pinto, Anil Kapoor and Irfan Khan. Danny Boyle’s multi-Oscarwinning blockbuster about a Mumbai teenager who is tortured by police after being accused of cheating on a popular TV game show. As the interrogation continues, the 18-yearold reveals his life story, from being orphaned at an early age to his crush on a parentless girl, and how he came to appear on a television quiz. 11.30 The World’s Smallest Man And Me Mark Dolan immerses himself in the remarkable worlds of some incredible people in a series exploring what it means to be anything but average. Mark travels through Nepal, Taiwan and Inner Mongolia to find out more about the contenders for the title of World’s Smallest Man. 12.35am Celebrity Big Brother Live 4.00 Slumdog Children Of Mumbai 5.00 Countdown 5.45 Hoobs

6.40 FILM: Force 10 From Navarone (1978) Starring Robert Shaw, Harrison Ford, Edward Fox, Barbara Bach, Franco Nero and Carl Weathers. Action-packed sequel to The Guns of Navarone as another motley crew of commandos are dropped behind enemy lines in the Balkans, attempting to blow up a bridge vital to the Nazi war effort. However, in their midst is a traitor who betrays them to the enemy and attempts to foil their plans. Cue the dramatic music. 9.00 FILM: Payback (1999) Starring Mel Gibson, Gregg Henry, Maria Bello, David Paymer, Deborah Unger, William Devane, Kris Kristofferson. Tough action thriller in which a man is persuaded by an old friend to take part in a $130,000 heist of laundered Triad drug money. But the friend and the man’s wife have carefully planned the whole caper in order to doublecross him, and leave him for dead. However, he survives and sets out to exact his revenge. Mwah ha ha. 11.05 FILM: Storm Catcher (1999) Starring Dolph Lundgren, Mystro Clark, Jong Pennell, Robert Miano. Thriller about a high-ranking test pilot who becomes an enemy of the state when he is framed for murder. 12.50am SuperCasino 4.05 House Doctor (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00am LIVE International Cricket 11.30 Seamaster Sailing 12.00pm Wild Spirits 12.30 LIVE European Rugby (x2) 5.30 Seamaster Sailing 6.00 World Sport 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 European Tour Golf 8.30 LIVE PGA Tour Golf 12.00am PGA Tour Golf 1.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 2.00 PGA Tour Golf

6.00 Countryfile Rural issues. Matt Baker and Julia Bradbury head for Jersey to lend a hand with potato planting and to find out how the island’s infamous war tunnels are being given a new lease of life. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow The team heads to Wales as Fiona Bruce and the experts arrive at Aberglasney Gardens in Carmarthenshire. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Costume drama. Alf throws a party to celebrate moving into a cottage of his own. He entertains his guests with a new song, and its haunting words have a profound effect on all of them. Edmund rebels against his parents, and Thomas and Margaret have their first marital tiff. 9.00 Rock And Chips Rock and Chips. Is it about dinner or is it about sculpture? Actually, it’s a drama. 10.30 BBC News 10.50 South East Today 10.55 FILM: Right At Your Door (2006) Starring Mary McCormack, Rory Cochrane, Tony Perez. Thriller about the aftermath of a terrorist attack on Los Angeles. A couple become separated when multiple biological weapons are detonated in the area around the Californian city. 12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: Hannah: The Girl Who Said No To A New Heart 1.25 Wonderland: Seven Pups For Seven People 2.05 The Choir: Unsung Town 3.05 News

Sky Sports 2

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Netball: Super League 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm World Sport 1.30 This Week In WWE 2.00 Spirit Of Yachting: Rolex Middle Seas Race 2.30 International Cricket 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 International Cricket 8.00 Scottish Premier League 9.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.30 This Week In WWE 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Scottish Premier League

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1.00pm Got To Dance 2.00 Fat Families 3.00 Fat And Proud 4.00 Got To Dance: The Semi-Finalists 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Got To Dance 7.00 Damian’s Are You Smarter Than Your Ten-Year-Old? 8.00 Football’s Next Star 9.00 24 10.00 24 11.00 Modern Family (x2) 12.00am Football’s Next Star

7.00pm FILM: National Treasure (2004) 9.00 Being Human. See highlights. 10.00 Heroes 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.35 Being Human 12.35am Harper’s Island 1.15 Coming Of Age 1.45 Cannabis: Britain’s Secret Farms 2.40 I Believe In Ghosts: Joe Swash 3.40 Coming Of Age 4.10 Kill It, Cook It, Eat It: Fast Food

7.00pm Dear Diary 8.00 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa 8.50 Around The World In 80 Treasures Shorts 9.00 Arena: Harold Pinter - A Celebration 10.35 Arena: Brian Eno - Another Green World 11.35 Brian Eno: Hits, Classics And Tracks 12.35am The Roxy Music Story 1.30 Dear Diary 2.30 Lost Kingdoms Of Africa

1.45pm American Idol: Orlando Auditions 2.45 The National Television Awards 5.25 Dancing On Ice - The Skate-Off 6.00 Dancing On Ice Friday 6.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.00 FILM: Twister (1996) 9.00 FILM: Die Another Day (2002) 11.45 FILM: Basic Instinct (1992) 2.15am Dancing On Ice

1.15pm FILM: Carry On Screaming (1966) 3.15 FILM: Batteries Not Included (1987) 5.20 Mr Bean (x2) 6.20 Rising Damp 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 8.00 Super Sleuths 9.00 Lewis 11.05 Cracker 12.15am Kavanagh QC 1.35 A Is For Acid 3.20 Drama Trails 3.30 Film File 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

12.00pm Dark Angel 12.55 Reaper 1.55 Celebrity Big Brother 2.55 Big Brother’s Little Brother 4.00 Celebrity Big Brother Live 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: I, Robot (2004) 11.15 FILM: Van Wilder (2002) 1.05am Celebrity Big Brother Live

12.45pm Scrapheap Challenge 1.50 How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 The TV Book Club 8.00 The River Cottage Treatment 9.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip 10.00 Captive For 18 Years: The Jaycee Lee Story 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Black Books 12.15am The IT Crowd

12.55pm Nowhere Boy Special 1.00 Secondhand Lions (2003) 3.15 The Drum (1938) 5.10 Panic In The Streets (1950) 7.00 Danny Boyle Special 7.10 Son Of The Mask (2005) 9.00 Employee Of The Month (2006) 11.05 The Ringer (2005) 12.55am Melinda And Melinda (2004) 2.50 Danny Boyle Special


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monday 25 Paul Merton In Europe Five, 9pm Paul’s European trip continues through Ireland, this week taking in the unusual sport of road bowling. Plus, a couple of enterprising folk selling Irish dirt to America. Gotta love it. There’s also Father Ted’s house, a remarkable Brazilian enclave and an artist living in a 1930s house. Loving the eccentricity.

Heidi Fleiss: Hollywood Madam Channel 4, 11pm Having seen her on Celebrity Big Brother for the last couple of weeks, here’s a gentle reminder as to what brought Heidi Fleiss fame in the first place. It’s another chance to see Nick Broomfield’s 1996 documentary on how a nice girl like her ended up in a place like that. Interesting.

Glee E4, 9pm The musical comedy comes bounding up once again, grinning from ear to ear in a post-ironic Labrador puppy kinda way, asking to be loved. And because the writing and performing is so good, it’s hard to refuse. Kurt tries to impress his father by joining the school football team. Didn’t someone only just leave it?

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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Wanted Down Under 11.00 Britain’s Empty Homes 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Tronji 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Louie 9.10 Finley The Fire Engine 9.25 Lunar Jim 9.35 Tommy Zoom 9.45 Our Planet 9.55 Tellytales 10.10 Waybuloo 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Victorian Scotland: Assessing The Evidence 11.20 The Maths Channel 11.30 Primary Geography: A Village In Bangladesh 11.40 See You, See Me 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys Michael Portillo visits an architectural wonder, the Duke of Devonshire’s stables in Buxton, helps to repair the ancient peat landscape of the Peak District and travels on the historic steam railway to Rowsley. 7.00 God Don’t Live Here Anymore? Does He give out change of address cards? 8.00 University Challenge In the first of their quarters, Jesus College Oxford play Emmanuel College Cambridge. Fight! Fight! Fight! 8.30 Delia Through The Decades Series celebrating Delia Smith’s career and the ways she has shaped what people eat and how they cook it. She revisits her favourite recipes and recreates some with a contemporary twist. 9.00 The British Family: Our History Kirsty Young presents a four-part history of how British families have changed since the Second World War. 10.00 Nurse Jackie Dark comedy drama series about Jackie Peyton, a no-nonsense emergency room nurse. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 NFL Highlights: Road To The Super Bowl Highlights from the two NFL Divisional Championship games. 12.20am An Island Parish 12.50 BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.30 Celebrity Big Brother 8.25 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 9.50 Deal Or No Deal 10.35 According To Jim 11.05 ER 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 The TV Book Club 12.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.35 FILM: The 39 Steps (1959) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Scottish Premier League 10.00 Spanish Football 12.00pm NFL: Conference Championship Finals 2.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 2.30 Scottish Premier League 3.30 Spanish Football 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Football League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL RoundUp 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Sky Sports Classics 3.15 LIVE International Cricket

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Edna is finally convinced that Ashley is telling the truth about Sally. 7.30 Coronation Street Will Rosie’s secret put pressure on Kevin and Sally? Steve shows off his new motorbike. Vroom. 8.00 The Lakes Observational documentary based in the Lake District, narrated by Rory McGrath. Today, Clare Noblett officiates at her 76th wedding of the year. 8.30 Coronation Street Rosie’s poster campaign does not go down well with Kevin. 9.00 Law & Order: UK Drama series. DS Ronnie Brooks, DS Matt Devlin and DI Natalie Chandler investigate when a homeless man is found beaten nearly to death in the park at the centre of a well-kept square. As they dig deeper, they discover that the man tormented some of the local residents, giving several people a motive for violence. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Assassins (1995) Starring Sylvester Stallone, Antonio Banderas, Julianne Moore. Action thriller about a top-class hit man whose retirement plans are scuppered by a younger rival. 12.55am Take Me Out 1.50 Loose Women 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Gilly feels terrible for the way he’s treated Cheryl. Zoe and Kris plan their travels but Hannah and Nancy are glad to be staying at home. Calvin can’t get Mercedes off his mind and arranges to meet her to tell her how he feels. She makes a habit of stealing sisters’ hubbies. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 Britain’s Big Freeze Documentary. The start of 2010 has been one of the coldest winters in Britain for decades. In this programme we meet experts who compare the freezes of 1947, 1963 and February 2009. More people complained about this one rather than ‘getting on with it’? Have you got circulation in your toes back yet? 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 10.00 The Good Wife Legal drama series about a woman who returns to her job as a defence attorney to support her family and rebuild her reputation after her husband is jailed for his involvement in a sex and corruption scandal. Alicia Florrick returns to work and is immediately given a tricky case. 11.00 Heidi Fleiss – Hollywood Madam See highlights. 1.20am Celebrity Big Brother Live 3.55 FILM: Fanny By Gaslight (1944) 5.40 The Hoobs

6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Megastructures: Built From Disaster 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visit 3.05 FILM: Avalon: Beyond The Abyss (1999) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Angelo is suspended from the force. Aden struggles with his feelings for Nicole. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 Celebrity Quitters Saturday sees some of the celebs having strange dreams about cigarettes and there is drama in store when Paul fails his CO2 test, which he blames on his passive smoking from the night before. Weren’t my fault, guv! 8.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. A look back at the highlights of the series, including the unit’s efforts to catch a stolen 4x4 that tries to run a police Evo off the road. 9.00 Paul Merton In Europe See highlights. 10.00 FILM: The Wicker Man (2006) Starring Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Frances Conroy. Remake of the cult British thriller. A police sergeant visits a remote island off the Washington coast to search for a missing girl, but begins to fear for her safety when he finds the local community in thrall to paganism and mysterious beliefs. 12.05am America’s Toughest Prisons 1.05 SuperCasino 4.00 Divine Designs (x2) 4.55 County Secrets 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Kaddy Lee-Preston helps solve the puzzle of seals settling round our shoreline. 8.00 EastEnders Alriiight there, geezer? Me ole china? Whatever happened to the EastEnders on the marketplace like old Pete Beale, eh? 8.30 Panorama One in five children starts school already overweight and, according to the latest research, children who are fat by five are likely to stay that way. Shelley Jofre investigates the food being dished up to pre-schoolers at nurseries and at home. 9.00 Hustle Drama serial about a team of con artists. Watch for pointers. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Britain’s Really Disgusting Food: Fish Investigation series. Alex Riley sets out to find the ultimate nasty fish dish and, amid the cheap, codless fish fingers and fake prawns, unearths a fishy world of waste. Ugh. 11.35 Late Kick Off Join Mark Chapman for a brand new series. 12.05am Weatherview 12.10 Sign Zone: Delia Through The Decades 12.40 The Man Who Can’t Stop Hiccupping 1.20 Horizon: Pill Poppers 2.20 Great British Railway Journeys 2.50 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 11.30 European Tour Golf 1.00pm Cricket 1.30 International Cricket 3.30 Cricket 4.00 Friday Fight Night 6.00 European Rugby Special 7.00 European Tour Golf 8.00 PGA Tour Golf 9.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 10.30 PGA Tour Classic 11.30 NFL 1.30am European Tour Golf 2.30 PGA Tour Golf 3.30 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 5.00 PGA Tour Classic

Sky Sports 3 9.00am European Rugby Special 10.00 Cricket 10.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Friday Fight Night 2.00 Seamaster Sailing 2.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 3.00 World Eightball Pool Championships 4.30 This Week In WWE 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Extra Time 7.30 Cricket 8.00 NFL 10.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 Live WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.45 Extra Time 5.15 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

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BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

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1.00pm Oops TV 1.30 The Simpsons 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Lost 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Football’s Next Star 9.00 Got To Dance: The SemiFinalists 10.00 24 11.00 24 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Night Cops 1.50 Road Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Doctor 7.40 Doctor Who 8.30 The Real Hustle Undercover 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Little Britain 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Being Human 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 Little Britain 1.15 I Believe In Ghosts: Joe Swash

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Shooting The War 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Mrs Mandela 10.30 The Real Winnie Mandela 11.30 Chemistry: A Volatile History 12.30am Only Connect 1.00 Mrs Mandela 2.35 The Real Winnie Mandela 3.35 Shooting The War

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 American Idol: Chicago Auditions 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 Grimefighters (x2) 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Billie And The Real Belle Bare All 10.30 FILM: Basic Instinct (1992) 1.00am Coronation Street

3.00pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Billy Connolly: Journey To The Edge Of The World 10.00 Murder In Suburbia 11.00 The Bill: Duty Calls 12.05am The Fixer 1.05 Inspector Morse

1.15pm Celebrity Big Brother Live 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends 9.00 Glee. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Bride And Prejudice (2004) 12.10am Celebrity Big Brother Live

3.20pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 The Secret Millionaire 11.05 Brothers And Sisters (x2) 1.00 Relocation, Relocation

11.00am Captain Scarlett (1953) 12.30pm Avatar Special 12.35 A Town Like Alice (1956) 2.50 The Day Will Dawn (1942) 4.45 The African Queen (1951) 6.50 Last Holiday (2006) 9.00 Sunshine (2007) 11.10 The Football Factory (2004) 12.55am Crimson Rivers (2000) 3.00 Danny Boyle Special

Latest Seven 458: 19 - 25 Jan  

Hot Food: A healthy twist at 9 Bar Hove's coolest gastro café. Heather Mills on Dancing On Ice and much moreŽ

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