the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 18 – 24 August 2009
Dining deals Great savings at local restaurants
Man power Street dance explores the male psyche
Artwave 2009 Plan your visit to the open houses
Exquisite A stylish setting and sumptuous food at the restaurant at drakes page 11
Contents ★ latest upfront 4–10 5 City Speak Seann prepares for the psychological trauma of the Edinburgh Fringe; Will learns to dive
15 Food & Drink We announce the shortlist for the Sussex Young Chef of the Year award
16 Health & Beauty The latest products tried and tested
17 Art Lewes District gears up for Artwave
6 Competitions Win CDs and DVDs
★ latest listings 18–31
6 Latest Diary
The Dolphin House Charity bash
7 Dani Education, education, education
Street dance explores the male psyche
8 Bare Cheek Boat or plane? Norman Cook, Zoe Ball and Simon Fanshawe decide…
Catch Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds in preview
Family planning with the stars
The Arundel Festival kicks off
9 Celebcity Ladies Day, Patsy Palmer and a stag party of gossip columnists
10 News Local sisters scale Kilimanjaro
Edinburgh Fringe review
21 Music The Wedding Present curate a one-day Brighton festival; The Hat defy convention with a great debut album Latest Brighton Download Chart
★ latest lifestyle 11-17
11 Cover Feature Robust flavours at the restaurant at drakes
12 Dining Deals Our monthly smorgasbord of cut-outand-keep restaurant vouchers
14 Hot List Foot-long hotdogs to handmade sushi
24 Club Seven-day’s worth of drinking and dancing
24 Gay Quizzes, karaoke, kitsch clubbing and more
25 TV Your weekly guide to what’s on the box
01273 818150 Editorial: email@example.com Advertising: firstname.lastname@example.org Managing Editor Bill Smith
Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Business Director Angi Mariani
Editor Bella Todd
Creative Director Andrew Kay
Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker
Production Director Fiona McTernan
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings
Finance Manager Sharon Caple
Sub Editors Pearl Bates Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive
Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle Ralph Miller Dani Winch Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit Books Writer John O‘Donoghue
aving just returned to Brighton after a year and a half working for Time Out in London, I’ve spent the last week retuning my mindset to the quirks of my adopted hometown and its entertainments scene. It began, obviously, with sacking off the unpacking and heading to the pub – there’s nothing Brighton does better than the lost afternoon. The following morning I had an interesting encounter with a hippy pranging out in the spoken word section of the Jubilee Library. The next evening I was nearly run over by a 40-something commuter skateboarding home from the station. I spotted four former ‘90s indie singers in the same number of hours, performed the reintroductory rite of eating a Grubbs cheeseburger on the beach while listening to drum ‘n’ bass pounding out of the Volks, and was even served falafel in a North Laine café by a woman dressed, to all intents and purposes and for no discernible reason whatsoever, as a witch. But I didn’t feel wholly, and wholeheartedly, back in Brighton until Jo Brooks called to tell me that the best hats and frocks at this year’s Ladies Day had belonged entirely to the transvestites and cross-dressers. Read about Brighton Racecourse’s much more colourful answer to Ascot in Celebcity (p9). Elsewhere in Latest 7 this week, there’s a real feast for foodies as Andrew Kay announces the shortlist for Sussex Young Chef of the Year (p15); we offer up our monthly round-up of the best local restaurant deals with a spread of handy cut-out-and-keep vouchers (p12); and the restaurant at drakes do seasonal ingredients with impeccable style (p11). August may not conventionally be the hottest month when it comes to live arts, but you can look forward to an especially muscular display of urban dance when State of Emergency arrive with their new show in the autumn (p18). While columnist Seann and our resident comedy expert Vicky Nangle decamp to Edinburgh, those left behind can enjoy a mini-festival courtesy of indie heroes The Wedding Present (p21), and a cluster of previews across town for Tarantino’s new flick.
8 Astral Angi
Advertising Director Lynne Edward Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
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Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
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CITY SPEAK 05
Seann or the next three weeks, I live in Edinburgh. I’m not the only one. The population has trebled. Flyers line the streets; posters are everywhere; performers pack the pubs; the locals look on disapprovingly; there’s an enormous, upside-down purple cow-shaped tent in Bristo Square; and the Scottish accents are suddenly outnumbered by English or more exotic alternatives. 20,000 performers come from all over the world to be part of the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. And, let’s face it, many of them will find themselves showing off to a near-empty room containing one punter, a member of staff and a light technician thinking about tea and cigarettes. Sure, it’s early days now. The weather is unexpectedly hot. Smiles are easy to come by as the first-week optimism has not yet been washed away by rain and failure. But anyone who has ‘done the Fringe’ harbours the acute knowledge that this month will be hard. More than hard. In fact, I guarantee this: everybody who is up here for the entire three-and-a-half weeks will have some approximation of a breakdown, more than once. It doesn’t matter what their
Will t the dive centre only one of the instructors speaks English. Of course it’s the one with the sadistic streak. “Do not rise to the surface too quickly,” he is saying. “If you rise to the surface too quickly, each bubble of air in your body will expand to many, many times its original size. This will happen in your joints, your lungs, your spinal cord.” The Mediterranean sun beats down on our wetsuit-clad bodies. It glints off the weights round our waists and the tanks on our backs. Down below, the sea waits, pawing hungrily at the dock. If we’re sweating, it’s not just because of the heat. “Decompression sickness,” continues the Divemaster de Sade, “can cause dizziness, tingling in the extremities, chest pain, memory loss, and death.” He claps the puzzled-looking Spaniard beside him on the shoulder and smiles. “Chana will take it from here. Enjoy your dive.” Off he goes, still smiling, leaving us in the probably-capable hands of Chana, who doesn’t speak English and therefore doesn’t seem to grasp why my friend K and I have turned matching shades of puce. He indicates we should move down into the water, and so – with the Divemaster’s words ringing in our
Seann Walsh decamps to Edinburgh
“The first week optimism has not yet been washed away by rain and failure”
Photo: Stuart Bell.co.uk
involvement is. They could be performers, press or venue staff. Whoever they are, it will rain. The hangovers will grow stronger. Selfdoubt will visit uninvited. Tiredness will become the default setting, as walking everywhere, constantly, begins to feel less and less green and healthy, and more and more tiresome. So, why bother? Well, such social, physical and emotional exhaustion as an August in Edinburgh induces would not come without a pay-off. In the same city, you could watch Dylan Moran, Stewart Lee and Daniel Kitson on the same day. And, big names aside, there are always people whom none of us has heard of yet whose profiles will rise and rise as the Festival goes on. I know of nowhere else when so much can happen in so little time. In one afternoon, you can switch between excited, entertained, enthralled, jaded, depressed and, ultimately, drunk. The easiest in that list is drunk. All the others, which are inevitable, lead to drunk. And the venues provide all-night opportunities to get you into that familiar state. I’m pacing myself at the moment. We’ll see how that goes.
Will Harris hopes that’s not a tingle in his extremities
Photo: Konrad Mostert
“It’s always been a dream of mine to go scuba diving. I’d forgotten adventures can be scary”
ears like a nasty case of the Bends – we do. It’s always been a dream of mine to go scuba diving. A real adventure, exploring underwater landscapes, gliding through schools of fish and singing to crabs like a refugee from The Little Mermaid. I’d forgotten adventures can be scary too. K looks nervous. Actually, I can only see a few inches of skin around her mask and respirator, so it’s hard to tell. It’s more the fact she keeps paddling back towards the shore that gives the game away. Even through her mask though, I can see the struggle in her eyes: the prospect of spending the rest of her days in a decompression chamber slugging it out with the prospect of losing 75 euros. Down we go. The water closes around us. It’s cool, refreshing after the midday heat. Once I’ve established my tongue hasn’t clogged up my respirator and I’m not dying a slow, painful death of oxygen deprivation, it even feels quite pleasant. Chana swims ahead and we follow, our nerves instantly forgotten. Somewhere out there, I bet, there’s a crab dying to show me a calypso. Just goes to show, when it comes to adventures, sometimes it’s worth taking the plunge. www.twitter.com/william_tells
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06 LATEST DIARY Joel Hartman (reflexoligist)
In it to Latest diary win it Tim Richardson ▲
Win Massive R’n’B Classics CD This week we’re giving away a great R’n’B CD. ‘Massive R&B Classics’ is your usual compilation box set with one subtle difference – the songs were chosen by members of the general public. The people who helped select the tracks as part of a campaign with The Sun are even featured on the cover. As you’d expect from a classics CD, there are plenty of R’n’B hits from the past, including tracks from Lionel Richie, Boyz II Men and TLC. But it’s not all oldies, with songs from current superstars like Rihanna, Neyo and Timbaland included across the three CDs. To be in with a chance to win a copy of this box set, just answer this question: which newspaper collaborated with the general public to choose the tracks for ‘Massive R&B Classics’? See below for entry details.
Win Champions League final DVD After the Summer break the football season will be upon us again, and what better way to get yourself in the mood than by watching the climax of the last? We’re giving away three copies of last season’s Champions’ League Final on DVD. This match was a fine exemplar of the beautiful game, with Europe’s two best clubs – Barcelona and Man Utd – meeting in Rome. In the end, Barca gave their English opponents a beating, coming out 2-0 winners. To be in with a chance to win a copy, just answer this question: Where did the 2008/9 Champions League final take place? See below for entry details.
goes Barefoot and joins a pub quiz with a difference
A whale of a party for the Dolphin House Charity Dolphin House joined forces with two successful Brighton-based companies, renowned ‘100% natural’ luxury skincare company Barefoot Botanicals and Barefoot Wines, to host an exclusive promotional evening as part of their renewed campaign to raise awareness and funds for Dolphin House Charity. The event, on 22 July was held at the Dolphin House Shop, 15 New Road, Brighton, and was a fabulous
Dr Barbara Einhorn (Chair of Trustees, Dolphin House Charity), Jonathan Stallick (founder of Barefoot Botanicals)
opportunity to celebrate three Brighton-based companies, with complimentary taster sessions of reflexology (Dolphin House), an extensive range of 100% natural, luxury skincare products (Barefoot Botanicals), and complimentary wine (Barefoot Wines) all on offer. Dolphin
House Charity is the only clinic of its kind in the UK to offer complementary therapies, such as herbal medicine, homeopathy and creative arts therapy, to babies and children. For more information on Dolphin House Charity visit www.dolphinhouse.org.uk
Kim Protheroe (The Argus), Chloe Barker (Arts Council), Jill Cochrane (Trustee, Dolphin House Charity), Andrea Freeman (PR for Dolphin House Charity)
Raining cats and frogs Torrential rain did not stop play as award winning telemarketing company Nido Marketing held their annual Fun Day in aid of the Honeycroft Under Five’s Centre in Hove. The event usually takes place at Stanmer Park but due to rain was moved to The King & Queen. More than 80 people attended the day from companies including Leapfrogg, Qube Media, Fresh Egg, Fat Sand, Platform, SiteVisibility and Preview, with the event raising £450 to keep the centre running. The event featured giant versions of popular games including Jenga and Connect 4, and there was a raffle, to which many local businesses had donated some fantastic prizes. The ever popular rounders tournament was replaced by the “Battle of the Brains” pub quiz, with Qube Media emerging as the worthy winners. This year digital search agency iCrossing were event partners along with the Big Lemon Bus.
Jacky Misson (Nido Marketing)
Team Qube Media (Quiz Winning Team)
To win, email:
firstname.lastname@example.org with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. The closing date is Monday 31 August.
Colin Spicer (Baker Tilly) Raymondo Marcus (Professional Photographer)
DEFINITELY DANI 07
Dani y sister received her exam results a few weeks ago, passing with colours flying everywhere. Which is great – but every year, when results are handed out, the news is full of stories about how some people sitting in some office somewhere are claiming that exams have become far too easy. Is it not possible for one minute that so many more people are passing with higher grades because the people taking the exams are actually more intelligent? From my own experience, and from watching others, I can say hands down that exams are not easy. And most of the exams you will take throughout your education won’t all be on one subject either – you will have a number of things to remember on a number of subjects, which only adds to the stress of it all.
Dani celebrates exam results season by asking what Pythagoras has to do with real life
“Kids leave school with an intricate knowledge of the periodic table but unable to write a cheque”
If all the pupils were getting lower results, you can guarantee people would say it was because the education system was failing. It really seems that we can’t win. And, to top it all off, once students leave university the chances are (according to the press) that they won’t be able to get a job. Even if exams have become easier over the past 20 years, I’m sure each pupil now has to sit more of them – especially as people are staying in education for longer. And take the multiple choice GCSE papers which some consider to be particularly easy to pass – these exams are on subjects that a bunch of 15 and 16-year-olds really have very little interest in, or use for in later life. Kids might leave secondary school with an intricate knowledge of the periodic table, but they often lack such basic life skills as how to write a cheque out or pay a bill or put together a CV. It’s ridiculous: these exams assume that all 16-years-olds are completely the same, will have enough of an interest in dull subjects to try their hardest (although most do, making the revision period a nightmare time), and will already know what it is they want to be doing all the way up until they are 50. You bet there is a fault in the education system – I just don’t think it is with the exams. There are a number of important things a person needs to know before setting out into the big wide world, but I’m pretty sure that the exact dimensions of different types of triangle isn’t one of them.
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Now that’s taxing Coming soon Latest 7 Art feature Helping local artists… Advertise your Art to over 100,000 people in the local area. Free editorial with every booking | Prices from £80 To find out more please contact Rachel on 01273 818150 Ext 105
Talking of what people really could do with being taught, I reckon schools should run a whole class on how to understand the Inland Revenue. Does anyone else find everything they send you, and even their website, confusing? It’s almost as if they make it so difficult on purpose so you miss payments and then have to pay more. I am sure they could save themselves a bit of money by making the whole system simpler as they wouldn’t need to employ so many people to explain everything to anyone who isn’t an accountant!
08 ONLY JOKING!
In & Out
Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
SPECIAL ’CLICHES OF DOMESTICITY’ EDITION
• Putting the cat out • Mowing the lawn • Washing the car • Mixing a drink • Announcing your arrival home from work
Boat or Plane?
some minor local celebrities and here’s what we think they might have said. Jordan: Boat. Zoe Ball: Plane. Chris Ellison: Plane. Preston: Boat. Patsy Palmer: Motorboat. Norman Cook: Boatplane’ Luke Pritchard: Hovercraft. Simon Fanshawe: It’s funny you should ask because, although I am not over fond of travelling myself (even though I am often required to as part of my highpowered job), I am addicted to the exciting board game ‘Travel Go’. At dinner parties, I always whip out the board after dessert, and hand my guests appropriate hats to wear while we play – a pilot’s cap, a sailor’s hat, a train driver’s ‘Casey Jones’ – as well as little passports that I stamp with various ‘countries’ as they pass through their borders. And there's a surprise when my guests try to
leave at the end of the evening – as I, donning a Douanier’s ‘képi’ and a very poor French accent, search their luggage, plant contraband on them, and lock everyone in the cellar for the night. It really is a tremendous hoot. Steven Berkoff: In my youth I once visited a fortune teller – a noted gipsy clairvoyant clad all over in brightly-coloured silks and reputed to be over 200years-old. Gazing deep into her glowing crystal ball, she told me firstly that I would come to grief at sea, secondly that I would succumb to a terrible accident in an airborne vehicle, and thirdly that I would appear in Absolute Beginners, which would garner terrible reviews. Consequently, I have never set foot on either plane or boat, instead preferring to travel to Los Angeles by space rocket. I did, however, appear in Absolute Beginners. I needed the money.
• Taking the dog for a walk • Complaining about the neighbours • Talking to the child about the birds and the bees • Greeting the postman • Burning the dinner
“I’m leaving on a jet plane/Don’t know when I’ll be back again…” So sang ironic jet plane fatality John Denver. Conversely, “On the good ship lollipop” sang wrongly-accused-of-appealing-topaedophiles-by-Grahame-Green Republican Shirley Temple. But which is the best way to travel? Is it on a soaraway, streamlined, supersonic jet, where you’re quite likely to plummet to your death, or at the very least walk away with deep vein thrombosis? Or is it on a mighty ocean liner, where you're more likely to get cornered by a couple from Rhyl in the Neptune Bar who go on and on and on about his interest in JB Priestley and her problems with her womb, until you hope that some AK47-wielding modern day pirates board the ship to put you out of your misery? We pretended to ask
What we used to say... An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple and once commonly used terms which have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms. What we say now: ‘disconnect’ Although properly speaking a verb, this word has, in recent years, been used as a noun, as in “There is a disconnect between perception and reality.” What we used to say: ‘gap’
Astral divines the laws of procreation
Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!
ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)
CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)
LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)
CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).
Aries must think very carefully about starting a family this month. That is, of course, if you are the right age. Oh I know a 95-year-old Italian grandmother is up the duff but please.
Cancerians make good if strict parents which is excellent if you become godparent to a Cancerian’s child. Let them do the telling off while you buy the ice-cream.
Librans are very good at trying to solve everyone else’s problems and never look at their own. Maybe having a child would stop you sticking your nose in where it’s not wanted.
Capricorns do not make mistakes. Capricorns are never wrong, so no advice for you this week. However, if you must have children, avoid having them born Capricorns.
TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)
LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)
SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)
AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)
Taureans on the other hand should be considering down-sizing in the family department. Now is the time to disown your relatives and pretend that they never existed.
Leos may have a tendency to yearn for a large brood. Well stop it right now and think of the planet.. Show a little restraint and try for two point four at most please.
Scorpios make excellent firepersons, bakers, TV show hosts, long distance lorry drivers, cattle hands, chimney sweeps, embroiderers and police officers, but parents… ?
Aquarians are childlike and, as such, make fun parents with a sense of adventure. However, rules are rules and Aquarian mums and dads need to GROW UP!!!.
GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)
VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)
PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)
Geminis must consider the risk of having twins if they embark on the parenting journey. It’s not genetic, its astrological, believe me, I know. And do we really want more twins?
Virgos wishing to retain that all important Virgo stance should refrain from any thoughts of family. Sit tight and keep your hand on your halfpenny to achieve this, I do.
Sagis may have distant memories of parenting but they probably involve cod liver oil, ration books, national health orange juice and terry towelling nappies – the first time round .
Pisceans are family mad and very good at it. Pisceans are in fact as mad as fish and where better to see such madness than at Roy, Muriel and Neil’s delightful emporium in Baker Street.
BRIGHTON’S SEXIEST CHIPPY 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
AROUND TOWN 09
with Jo Brooks
Ladies Day is a ball, Patsy Palmer puts her house on the market and tabloid columnists party hard
Drag racing Last Thursday saw the highlight of the racing calendar in Brighton – Ladies Day at Brighton Racecourse. The event is our equivalent of Ascot and, judging by the number of giant hats on show, we more than gave the royals a run for their money. Judging this year's ‘Best in Show’ was renowned fashion designer and Kemp Town resident Andrew Fionda. Andrew awarded the best hat to a Marilyn Monroe lookey likey who had apparently made it only the night before. I joined Sue Addis, owner of D Production group of restaurants, on her table. Brilliantly positioned by the door of the huge marquee, it was great for people watching. As you can imagine, Brighton does afford a very colourful array of ladies – including some fantastic cross-dressers. In fact, one table was entirely made up of he-shes! Jockeys in colourful silks, Chelsea Pensioners, The Purple Ladies and a whole host of drag queens… it really was a sight to behold.
Patsy’s on the move EastEnders star Patsy Palmer has put her gorgeous Kemp Town house on the market. The actress, who has made Brighton her home for the last few years, has decided it’s time to sell her beautiful Victorian mansion. The house has six bedrooms, a whopping six bathrooms to match, plus two kitchens and landscaped gardens with decking. There’s also a huge games room complete with a giant wave mural, no doubt giving a real seaside feel. The price for all this is… well, it’s on application via estate agent Mishon Mackay in Kemp Town. Patsy has had enormous success after deciding to return to EastEnders as gritty character Bianca Jackson. The show is filmed in Elstree, which is a good two hours drive from Brighton. Let’s hope Patsy isn’t finding the commute too much, I’m sure we’d all miss her.
Showbiz stag night: an itinerary Brighton may be famous for attracting stag and hen parties – it’s even played host to the odd celeb one. But it’s rarely hosted such a bevy of bylines as it did on Saturday when it was the chosen venue for a stag attended by some of the top showbiz journalists in the UK. Organised by Daily Star showbiz writer Joe Mott (ex of Girls Aloud member Sarah Harding), the party included Gordon Smart, writer of The Sun’s daily ‘Bizarre’ column and the PR for Paul McCartney. The lads first enjoyed dinner in Donatello, to ‘line their stomachs’ according to Joe, before downing a few at trendy new Jubilee Street bar Bottle, then busting some moves at the Ocean Rooms. Owner Ben Gill pulled out all the stops and gave VIP treatment to the group.
Spotted! Spotted having lunch last Friday in Donatello restaurant was Katie Price, back from her trip to Marbella. Katie was taking kids Harvey, Junior and Princess for a spot of Italian, and they were joined by a film crew from ITV2 to boot. Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to firstname.lastname@example.org
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of November 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
10 LATEST NEWS
Teens go paint potty Teenagers attending a Switch On activity programme, aimed at encouraging 14 to 16-year-olds back into mainstream education or further training, have transformed a wall in Saunders Park, Brighton, into a colourful mural. The project was run by Nacro, the crime reduction charity, and Brighton and Hove City Council.
Phil Mills reports on two sisters planning an epic climb to help soldiers wounded in Afghanistan
Sister act ictures of coffins returning to the UK draped in the Union Flag and tragic tales of those horribly maimed in the conflict in Afghanistan have inspired two local sisters to climb the highest mountain in Africa. Natasha and Joanne Moses will fly to Tanzania on 9 October and scale the 5,900 metre Mount Kilimanjaro. They are hoping to raise more than £6,000 for the Help For Heroes charity, who provide rehabilitation for wounded service men and women. Joanne, a 27-year-old personal assistant who lives in Southwick, said she met some of the local Sussex troops serving in Afghanistan through a friend: “They are a lovely bunch of lads and it is so tragic to see some of their comrades coming home without limbs. “Natasha and I just felt we had to do something to help them.” Joanne and 28-year-old advertising worker Natasha from Portslade, are being joined in the climb by friends Claire, a 27-year-old nursery
nurse from Portslade and 24-year-old sales worker, Liz, from Hove. Current fund raising activities have included a curry night with neighbours and family and a pub quiz with work colleagues. Joanne says, “Training is well underway with 10-mile runs after work, and we did a practise climb up Mount Snowdon in April. “All this training is pretty hard work and the climb is going to be arduous, but it’s nothing in comparison to the sacrifice being made by the service men and women fighting in Afghanistan. This is the least we could do.” Help For Heroes was launched in October 2007 by a group of friends and service relations who wanted to do something to help the wounded coming back from Afghanistan and Iraq. So far, it has raised more than £1million. If you want to support the sisters’ Kilimanjaro climb go to www.justgiving.com/joannemoses
Take a stand Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on the success of the bandstand It really is great to see the newly-restored ‘Birdcage’ bandstand back in use again. Not only do we have the wonderful brass band concerts every Sunday afternoon, but salsa dancing is proving to be an incredibly popular, if unexpected, hit. Not only has the restoration given that whole area of seafront a real lift physically – it is also proving to be a fantastic new community facility, bringing people from different generations together.
“Next year it will even be licensed for wedding and civil patnership ceremonies!” Last weekend, a couple used the bandstand as the location for their wedding photos and, next year, it will even be licensed for wedding and civil
partnership ceremonies! If anyone is interested in using the bandstand, please contact the council’s events team on 01273 292712. Finally, I attended Ladies’ Day up at Brighton Racecourse last week and had the pleasure of meeting some ladies called the ‘Red Hats’. The Red Hats
are a society for women who ‘want to have fun but may have forgotten how to’ and the only rule is that they must wear a red hat with a purple outfit when out and about! If anyone is interested in joining, further details can be found at www.brightonbelles.co.uk
COVER STORY 11
Fine dining A first-class dining experience awaits at the elegant restaurant at drakes Nestled inside one of Brighton’s finest designer hotels, the restaurant at drakes is incomparably stylish and reflects an ambience of relaxed glamour. The exposed brickwork and subtle lighting create an elegant but unpretentious backdrop for intimate dinners or private parties. Through the skills and talents of renowned head chef Andrew MacKenzie, the restaurant was recently awarded two coveted AA Rosettes, the highest possible award for first time applicants. The restaurant at drakes offers exquisite cuisine, combining the highest quality seasonal ingredients complimented by clean, robust flavours, providing one of the finest dining experiences along the South Coast.
Starters on their current summer menu include Carlingford Lough oysters with Uig Lodge smoked salmon, crab ravioli with Swiss chard or free-range chicken terrine with fresh peas and broad beans. Their main courses feature 21 day aged Sussex beef rib eye with Girolle mushrooms, potato gallette and new season carrots or fillet of wild turbot with grilled violet artichokes, trumpet mushrooms, and spinach. A stunning choice of desserts include their signature soufflé made with fresh raspberries and served with raspberry ripple ice
Buy one get one FREE Soft drinks & Sunlik Beer From 16/08/09 -15/09/09 Evening Only NUS Card & VIP Get 10% Off We are one of the best leading buffet restaurants in Brighton, situated on the prominent London Road opposite St Peters Church, just 5 minutes walk from the railway station. With the most affordable and unbeatable prices, you'll enjoy plenty of dishes from the Orient, whose cuisine we have specialised in for over 10 years. We offer Seafood, Aromatic Crispy Duck, Japanese Sushi and Teppanyaki, Salad Bar and Ice Cream Corner. With over 50 items for lunch and 70 for dinner, and our attentive and friendly service at all times, we look forward to welcoming you in the near future.
Mon-Sat Lunch £5.99 NEW Mon-Thur Dinner £8.99 PRICES Fri-Sat Dinner £9.99 Sunday All Day £7.99
cream and coulis, chocolate brownie with passionfruit bavarois and chocolate sorbet or poached peaches with schnapps sabayon and peach ice cream. The restaurant at drakes offers a twocourse menu for £28 or three courses for a very reasonable £36. Their superb five-course chef’s menu is also available daily for £50, or with selected wines to complement the dishes at £85. This is a must for true foodies. Their private dining room is available for intimate dinner parties of up to 12 people. the restaurant at drakes, 43-44 Marine Parade, Brighton BN2 1PE, 01273 696934 www.drakesofbrighton.com, email@example.com
12 DINING DEALS
£10 for 3 courses • Diners must produce this voucher (4 persons max) • Includes Eat as much as you like hot buffet • Offer available Sunday to Wednesday inclusive • Lunch and Dinner untill the 31st of August
What more could a man ask for? Well I was tempted to ask for more. 9 Bar may well think it is a café by day or a bar even but with a chef as accomplished as this, by night it is a restaurant of note and I urge you to get down there pretty damn fast.
www.balibrasserie.co.uk Tel: 01273 323810 Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, BN3 2LR
Andrew Kay - food & wine critic
barneys @ home
Free bottle of wine with any delivery order over £20. Coming soon to Brighton: restaurant food delivered direct to you. Call now for info: 01273 720058 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
The Chilli Pickle £10 thali & a pint Every weekday lunch we are offering any thali plus a crisp pint of Kingfisher or a glass of house wine or soft drink for £10 Kathmandu Goat Curry, Paneer Tikka Masala, Bengali fish curry, Allepey Coconut & Vegetable Stew and Fragrant Chicken Korma all served with baby naan, dal, rice, veg and pickle The Chilli Pickle, 2 Meeting House Lane, Brighton House, BN11HB
tel: 01273 323 824
EAT OUT FOR £5 at gourmet three-course lunch on Saturday or Sunday and receive a complimentary bottle of our selected wine. Book a
Special 2 course menu for £5 with this voucher - please request this menu on arrival
The restaurant at drakes 43-44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE 01273 696934 www.therestaurantatdrakes.co.uk
One voucher per 2 people, Monday - Thursday inclusive.
Valid until end of August 2009. One bottle per table. Diners must bring this coupon. Menu prices £25.00 p.p. for 3 courses.
10% service will be added. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
We are doing a ‘Celebrate 25 years menu'
SPECIAL OFFER £25.00
2 courses for 2 for £ 25
and for £30 includes a bot tle of ho use wine
2 course meal for two with 1/2 LTR carafe of wine included
Available everyday til 7pm throughout August. Gars is located in the heart of The Lanes and although 25 years old the décor is very modern with bamboo flooring, bespoke silk shades and stylish leather wall panelling to compliment the modern and authentic mix of asian cuisine. Quick fried squid in salt and chilli, sesame prawns on toast, steamed seabass in ginger and spring onions and drunken chicken are just a few of the items on the ‘Celebrate 25 menu.’ Gars Restaurant, 19 Prince Albert Street, BN1 1HF
Tel:01273 321 321
(+10% optional service charge) Avail: Tues to Thurs 12 till 7pm & Friday and Saturday 12 till 6pm only Tel: 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk 196 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2DJ
Please bring this voucher with you
DINING DEALS 13
Combining locally sourced produce with French cuisine. Complimented by impeccable service at affordable prices.
SAMPLE DAILY MENU French onion soup * Fresh Salmon tartare Locally caught Pollok a la catalane Sussex lamb chops in Thyme jus tomate provencale Crème caramel * Chocolate mousse * Amaretto ice cream FRI & SAT: 2-course menu £14.50 * 3-course menu £16.50 SUN TO THURS: 2-course menu £10.50 * 3-course menu £12.50
t Discoun with this advert
SOME SIGNATURE DISHES FROM THE A LA CARTE MENU Fole gras de canard with warm toast £9.50 British porterhouse steak * Chips, Béarnaise or garlic butter: £12.95 Smoked Haddock fishcake & baby spinach: £10.50 Our famous Crème Brulée: £4.50 Tarte tatin & Calvados crème fraiche: £4.50
10/11 New Steine Hotel, Brighton BN2 1PB 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com email@example.com
£20 for 3
courses from the a la carte menu Sevendials Restaurant, 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk Sam’s of Brighton, 1 Paston Place, Kemp Town, Brighton 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk TERMS: *offer available until 31st August 2009 *offer entitles a starter, main and pudding per person from the a la carte menu *diners must bring in this voucher *not available Saturday nights or Sunday lunch or Sunday evening on 30 August 2009 *offer valid for tables of up to 9 people *small supplements may apply to a few dishes
01903 812347 23 High Street, Steyning, BN44 3YE
2 for 1 on our bar
Zamdani is rated as one of the best by the locals for its high quality of food, bright, modern surroundings and attentive staff. A starter of Murug 65 is excellent and unique to Zamdani. Special offer of £9.95 for a two course meal and 10% discount on takeaways.
home comforts menu Excludes main restaurant. Offer available until the end of September. Terms and conditions apply.
216 Church Road, Brighton, BN3 2DJ
14 HOT LIST Chimney House
LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS
Restaurants American JB’s Diner JB’s Diner is a quirky and cool nod to the classic American Diner, from the ‘50s rock’n’roll and the retro dining booths to the stars ‘n’ stripes flying proud as you eat your way through their delicious USA themed menu. The burgers are generous, fresh, tasty and available in many different varieties, the Texan BBQ and ‘Across The Border’ Mexican being firm favourites. Other top sellers include the foot-long hotdogs and rack of ribs. Add a thick dairy ice-cream shake in many flavours (including Oreo!) and we have an American diner perfect for kids and adults alike, looking out onto the very British Brighton beach. 31 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NR, 01273 771776, www.jbsdiner.co.uk
British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058 Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locallycaught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty threecourse dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best peoplewatching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie Now relocated in the heart of Brighton, on the seafront. The new menu offers brunch, lunch, tea and dinner from 11am to 11pm, seven days a week. They’ve gone more mainstream but some old favourites remain, along with the French specials. Pop in for a croque monsieur and coffee during the day, or treat yourself to a cocktail – they have over 30 on the menu. Parties of all sizes can be catered for. 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488
Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie just down from Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro
A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £10.50 for two courses, £12.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £14.50 for two courses, £16.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 & 11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/ restaurant.asp
the restaurant at drakes
Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel, the restaurant at drakes is the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Recently awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, the restaurant offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. the restaurant at drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Preston Park Tavern
Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu.
Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Japanese Moshi Moshi Described by The Times as having a “fanatical following,” Moshi Moshi has become one of the leading restaurants on the South Coast, popular for its fresh, handmade sushi. Become a Moshi member online at www.moshimoshi.co.uk and get special discounts. Follow them on Twitter and Facebook. Moshi Moshi, Opticon, The Lanes, Bartholomew Square, Brighton BN1 1JS, 01273 719195
Thai Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes and sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. “Sanuk!” 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabai.uk.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest hot list call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 15
Food & drink Sussex Food & Drink Awards are seeking the Young Chef of The Year email@example.com
Top of the pass N ominations for the hotly contended Sussex Young Chef of the Year award in the Sussex Food & Drink Awards 2009/10 have now closed and a shortlist of eight young chefs in Sussex are battling it out to reach the next level. Public voting will determine which four get selected to submit a menu plan based on local and seasonal ingredients and compete in a cook-off hosted by City College Brighton & Hove in November. Vote online at www.sussexfoodawards.com
Danilo Tavernini at Anise Felbridge Hotel & Spa, London Road, East Grinstead, West Sussex 25-year-old Danilo has been working at Anise for two years and has just finished his NVQ Level 3. Matthew Budden, executive chef, says: “Dan is hard working and dedicated to using local produce.”
David Brown at Ashdown Park Hotel Wych Cross near Forest Row, East Sussex 20-year-old David has been working in the kitchen for five years. Ben Booker, General Manager, says: “We are delighted that David has been nominated in these awards and the Ashdown Park Hotel is committed to supporting him through the selection process.”
Oliver Darby at Temptation Gardner Street, Brighton 21-year-old Oliver has been at Temptation since it opened just seven weeks ago. Peter Allinson, the owner says: “Oliver has a great awareness of food, flavours and combinations. I recruited him from his NVQ course and he has helped me produce our fabulous menu.”
Dan Hockaday at The Coach and Horses School Lane, Danehill, West Sussex 24-year-old Dan is a completely self-taught chef who works full-time and has been at the restaurant for one and a half years. Lee Cobb, head chef, says: “Dan is the most competent young chef I have worked with. I think great things can happen for him and I wish I was as good as him when I was his age.”
Jerri Wetherell at The Countryman Inn Countryman Lane, Shipley, West Sussex The only young female chef finalist! 22-year-old Jerri has just completed her NVQ Level 2 in catering and hospitality at Crawley College and has been at the restaurant for five years. Alan Vaughan, owner, says: “Jerri is a conscientious chef who is passionate about local food and using the Countryman Inn’s home- grown produce.”
Bradley Jordan at The Cowdray Pub and Dining London Road, Balcombe, West Sussex 22-year-old Bradley is about to embark on his NVQ Level 3 at Crawley College. He has worked at the pub since day one, a year and a half ago. Alex Owen, owner, says: “Bradley is a keen and hardworking chef and is currently interested in the science of food”.
Liam Fisher at The Meadow Western Road, Hove 21-year-old Liam has been at the restaurant for a year. He works predominately full-time, but he travels to different restaurants around the world to learn new skills. Will Murgatroyd, head chef, says: “Liam is an enthusiastic chef and passionate about the produce he uses.”
Peter Martin at The Tin Drum Victoria Grove, Second Avenue, Hove 25-year-old Peter started working at the restaurant in September and was promoted to head chef just one month later. Dave Radtke, owner, says: “The whole Tin Drum team is very proud that Peter has been nominated for this award, it is well deserved. We’ll be cheering him on the whole way!” Paula Seager, MD of Natural PR, who run the awards, says: “Over 2000 people have already voted in this year’s awards and we have an absolute wealth of fantastic food businesses and individuals to choose from, so we urge everyone in Sussex to get voting!” Other awards include best Sussex eating experience, food producer, drink producer, farmer, food shop, butcher and farmers market. Everyone who votes online at www.sussexfoodawards.com will automatically be entered into a prize draw to win two tickets to the ‘Sussex foodie event of the year’ – the Sussex Food & Drink Awards dinner held at the East Sussex National Golf Resort & Spa in January 2010. The deadline for votes is 16 October 2009.
“Over 2000 people have already voted in this year’s awards – we urge everyone in Sussex to get voting!”
16 HEALTH & BEAUTY
Go for gold From mellow yellows to citrus scents, Zara Baker roadtests the latest summer products Mavala nail polish, £3.66, available from top beauty salons, leading department stores and pharmacies, stockists: 01732 459 412. “This metallic gold varnish is bang on trend, without being overdramatic. A great look for both pale skin tones and those with a post-holiday tan.“ 4/5
Dr Organic Vitamin E body butter, £8.99, available at Holland and Barrett stores nationwide, www.hollandandbarrett.com, 0870 606 6605. “With its fabulous light scent of lemon meringue and a beautiful whipped cream texture, I wasn’t sure whether to pamper my skin with this product or eat it. Luxuriously rich and long lasting.“ 4/5
Estée Lauder, sumptuous bold volume lifting mascara, £17.50, available from www.esteelauder.co.uk and larger pharmacies/Boots stores nationwide. “This bold volume-lifting mascara is true to its word. Smooth to apply, it separates the lashes giving a natural, full-lash look.“ 4/5
Origins Gloomaway grapefruit body mist, £18, available from www.origins.co.uk, stockists: 0800 731 4039. “Great smell, long lasting, and it absorbed into the skin easily. This is a lovely way to freshen up.“ 5/5
Jemma Kidd illuminator in rose gold, £17, available at www.asos.com: “Perfect for those who don’t want to use a bronzer, this rosy gold illuminator gives skin an uplifting, healthy glow and comes complete with a compact mirror.“ 5/5
2true glossy wear nail polish in no. 26: neon yellow, £1.91, available exclusively at Superdrug. “The ‘80s neon trend continues, but even with a few coats, this varnish didn’t match the bright yellow shade in the bottle. A white base varnish will lift the yellow to its true potential, but this look is best suited for a night out clubbing. 3/5
Seaford Photographic Society, Seaford Beach Hut
Ride the Wave Local artists prepare to unveil their inspirational work in Artwave 2009 xcitement is building and preparations are under way for Artwave 2009. Artists and makers are busy completing inspirational pieces of art to exhibit as part of Artwave – the annual Lewes District open house festival. Running from Saturday 29 August until Sunday 13 September, Artwave 2009
showcases work by local artists, offering visitors the chance to view and buy pieces direct from the artists’ own homes or studios. This year’s Artwave covers the breadth of Lewes District, including venues in Ditchling, Firle and Chailey, as well as the larger towns of Seaford, Newhaven and Lewes. The Artwave open houses offer
Interview with Latest 7’s ‘Artwave Open House Winner 2008’, environmental sculptor and poet, Jo Allen from Seaford, www.jo2jo.com ‘I’ve been asked to say something about the experience of exhibiting at Artwave – but what? After much deliberation I’ve decided to leave it to those clever chaps who write dictionaries; open house (noun) a party or reception during which anyone who wishes may visit to share in a celebration… So there you are. Here’s to another fantastic year – Artwave 2009.’ Describe yourself in six words? JA: Opinionated – passionate – impulsive – a complete nightmare. Which artist’s work has influenced you the most? JA: Phil Kelly; he taught me sculpture at art college.
Jo Allen in her studio
visitors an extraordinary and creative experience Guardians of the Wo od, away from the North Chailey hustle and bustle of city life. There is something to satisfy every arty appetite, whether it’s a hidden art trail through an enchanting wood in North Chailey or a photography exhibition snuggled in a beach hut on Seaford Beach. The official brochures are out now. Simply pop into Lewes or Seaford tourist information centre, email firstname.lastname@example.org, or visit www.artwavefestival.org
When did you first realise that you had such artistic talent? JA: Talent, mmm? It still surprises me when people like what I do. What was the last book you read? JA: The Tibetan Book Of The Dead Describe your perfect day? JA: I’m lucky. Every day is wonderful. What is your perfect location? JA: For what? Oooo er! What is your most treasured possession? JA: My sense of humour. What famous person, dead or alive, do you admire? JA: Al Gore. What do you like about Sussex? JA: Many, many things, but especially that I met my husband here.
Street dancing man State Of Emergency explore modern masculinity with three urban-inspired dance pieces howcasing work by a trio of leading black choreographers and coming to both Brighton and Crawley this autumn, State Of Emergency’s Mission Possible: Dads And Lads Move! is a three-part street dance programme exploring that most mysterious of places – the male psyche. Jeanefer Jean-Charles, Kwesi Johnson and Colin Poole all make dance theatre that puts male relationships under the microscope. Here, five male dancers will explore different male roles and bonds, performing some fiercely athletic street dance feats to music from Curtis Mayfield to Amy Winehouse. State of Emergency has been in existence for over twenty years, producing acclaimed work that has helped to set a precedent, not just for black dance but for dance in general. And Mission Possible: Dads And Lads Move! is the fifth Mission National Showcase Tour – an established event that has launched the careers of many respected black British choreographers. Jean-Charles was joint director of Bullies Ballerinas Jazz Productions for ten years and in 2006 made the Guinness Book Of Records when she choreographed an eight-minute performance involving 752 dancers and 44 dance styles – the most styles ever performed simultaneously to a single music track. She’s even choreographed for the British Ski Ballet Team. On the urban dance front, Johnson started out B-boying before moving into contemporary jazz dance and training in capoeira and other urban forms. After graduating from the Northern School of Contemporary Dance, he worked with Lloyd Newson (director of Director of DV8 Physical Theatre),
Stage listings Tuesday 18 August to Monday 31 August Chichester Festival Theatre 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Oklahoma The story of an Oklahoma farm girl, Laurey, who is forced to choose between Curly, the happy-go-lucky cowboy she loves, and Judd, the mysterious loner she fears. • 18–29 August, Festival Theatre, 7.30pm please check with venue to confirm, £12–£36 The House Of Special Purpose The story of the deposed Russian Tsar and his family as they are held captive by communist soldiers in post-revolution Russia. • 18–22 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £26.50 Grapes of Wrath An adaptation of John Steinbeck’s epic novel about a family of Oklahomans who lose everything after a drought leads to their eviction and forces them to move west toward California in search of stability and a home.
• 18–28 August, Festival Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £10–£36. ENRON The World Premiere of Lucy Prebble’s play about one of corporate history’s most infamous scandals. • 18–29 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £26.50
Black Mime Theatre and Phoenix Dance Theatre, and in 1994 created Kompany Malakhi. His solo piece ‘Searching For A Shaman’ saw the emergence of a distinct style, synthesising vernacular and contemporary dance styles, spoken word and film. Former Rambert Dance Company member Poole, meanwhile, has danced for the likes of Merce Cunningham and Lucinda Childs, worked with British independents including Laurie Booth, Charles Linehan and Second Stride, and produced work exploring everything from ghettoisation and Blaxploitation to the writings of Jean Paul Sartre. Wednesday 30 September, Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, New Road, Brighton. 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Saturday 10 October, The Hawth, Hawth Avenue, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk
Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre
01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Gotta Sing Gotta Dance From Gershwin to Grease and Lloyd-Webber to Wicked, a cast of top West End performers take you on a ride through the world of musical theatre in this staged and choreographed show accompanied by the Gotta Sing Gotta Dance band. • 18 August–5 September, 7.45pm (no performances Sundays or Mondays) plus Wed & Sat 2.30pm (no Matinees Wed 12 & Sat 15), £13.50–£19.50
08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Annie The classic Broadway musical about an orphaned girl who is adopted into the luxurious home of wealthy businessman Oliver Warbucks comes to Brighton. • 18–22 August, 7.45pm plus Thurs & Sat 2.30pm, £13–£27 Tweenies Live Milo, Jake, Bella and Fizz will be performing Top Of The Tots, their new sing and dance-a-long music show. Songs will include old favourites and numbers from the TV show, such as ‘Gonna Build a House’, ‘Incy Wincy Spider’, ‘Wheels on the Bus’ and ‘Do the Lollipop’. • 24–26 August, Mon 4.30, Tues 11am & 2pm & Wed 11am, £16.50/14.50
Newhaven Fort Eastbourne: Congress Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Noddy In Toyland Its party time and Noddy, Tessie Bear and Bumpy Dog are planning a fantastic sing-a-long, dance-a-long party. But those two naughty Goblins, Sly and Gobbo, are out to spoil the fun! • 25 August, 2pm, £12/10
01273 517622 www.newhavenfort.org.uk Richard III Oddsocks theatre company deliver an open-air performance of Shakespeare’s Richard III. Whilst you watch the medieval treachery, the Fort Cafe will be serving light refreshments and alcoholic beverages. Visitors are invited to bring a picnic along with them. • 25 August, 7.30pm (Doors 6.45pm), £12.50/9
Worthing: Pavilion Theatre 01323 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk We’re Going On A Bear Hunt Children’s Laureate Michael Rosen’s popular story is brought to the stage by director Sally Cookson. You can’t go over it, you can’t go under it, you’ll have to go see it! • 18–19 August, Tues 2pm & 4pm, Wed 11am & 2pm, £10
0871 224 4007 Tuesday 18 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 4.30 BAND SLAM (PG) 11.15, 2.00, 5.00, 7.45 THE CLASS (15) 9.00pm NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 11.00am GI JOE (12A) 12.15, 3.00, 6.00, 8.45 G–FORCE 3D (PG) 1.00, 3.15, 5.30 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 1.15, 4.45, 8.15 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 10.OO, 10.45 (3D), 12.45, 3.30 MOON (15) 11.15, 9.15 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 6.15 THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3 (15) 8.00pm THE TIME TRAVELLERS WIFE (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.45 , 8.30 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 1.45, 4.15, 7.00, 9.30
Wednesday 19 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 4.30, 6.45 BAND SLAM (PG) 11.15, 2.00, 5.00, 7.45 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 11.00am GI JOE (12A) 12.15, 3.00, 6.00, 8.45 G–FORCE 3D (PG) 1.00, 3.15, 5.30 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 1.15, 4.45, 8.15 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 10.OO, 10.45 (3D), 12.45, 3.30
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 5.30, 8.45 MOON (15) 11.15am THE PROPOSAL (12A) 9.00pm THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3 (15) 8.00 THE TIME TRAVELLERS WIFE (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.45, 8.30 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 1.45, 4.15, 7.00, 9.30
Thursday 20 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 4.30, 6.45 BAND SLAM (PG) 11.15, 2.00, 5.00, 7.45 THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (15) 10.30am GI JOE (12A) 12.15, 3.00, 6.00, 8.45 G–FORCE 3D (PG) 1.00, 3.15, 5.30 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 1.15, 4.45, 8.15 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 10.OO, 10.45 (3D), 12.45, 3.30 INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 5.30, 8.45 MOON (15) 11.15am THE PROPOSAL (12A) 9.00pm THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3 (15) 8.00 THE TIME TRAVELLERS WIFE (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.45 , 8.30 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 1.45, 4.15, 7.00, 9.30 FALLEN (12A) 10.00, 12.25
Films showing Fri 21–Mon 24 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES
01273 626261 Tuesday 18 ACCIDENT (PG) 11.00am GREEK PETE (18) 6.30 MESSRINE: KILLER INSTINCT (15) 1.30 SIN NOMBRE (15) 4.00 SOI COWBOY (15) 9.00pm
ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 11.00am INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 11pm SIN NOMBRE (15) 4.00, 9.00 INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00, 11.59
ACCIDENT (PG) 11.00am BORN IN 68 (15) 6.30 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 1.30 INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 11.15pm SIN NOMBRE (15) 4.00, 9.30
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30, 10.30 JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH (U) 11.00am
COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 1.30 DREAM BOY (15) 6.30
Sunday 23 INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 SPARTACUS (PG) 11.00am
Monday 24 INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00,
0871 200 2000 Tuesday 18 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 10.55, 1.00, 3.05, 5.10, 7.20 BANDSLAM (PG) 11.00, 1.40, 4.15, 6.50, 9.20 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 9.10 G–FORCE 3D (PG) 10.20, 12.30, 2.40, 4.50, 7.00 GI JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA (12A) 10.10, 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 9.00 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.40, 2.00, 5.15, 8.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 10.30, 11.10 (2D), 12.40, 2.50, 5.00 ORPHAN (15) 9.30 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 7.10, 9.40 THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3 (15) 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.40 THE TIME TRAVELLERS WIFE (12A) 10.50, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
Wednesday 19 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 10.55, 1.00, 3.05, 5.10, 7.20 BANDSLAM (PG) 11.00, 1.40, 4.15, 6.50, 9.20 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 9.10 G–FORCE 3D (PG) 10.20, 12.30, 2.40, 4.50, 7.00 GI JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA (12A) 10.10, 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 8.50 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.40, 2.00, 5.15, 8.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U)
What’s on this week
Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince (12A) Dir: David Yates Teenage hormones are bubbling over along with the potions of Hogwarts as our leading trio find they’ve got more to battle with than Voldemort’s evergrowing presence in the world, although that is troubling them too. With star turns from Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Inglourious Basterds (18) Dir: Quentin Tarantino Brad Pitt heads up a raggle-taggle group of American-Jewish soldiers on the rampage to exact as much ass-kicking of Nazis as is feasibly possible. Which, with Tarantino at the wheel, you can be sure is quite a lot… Historical accuracy takes a backseat to ‘goodies vs baddies‘ in this blood-spattered wartime epic of a film. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Duke of York’s
Aliens In The Attic (PG) Dir: John Schultz You know the dilemma: family arrives at lovely holiday home only to find world-domination plotting aliens in the attic. It’s a pest-control issue we’ve all had to deal with at some point. Hardly. Anyway, the Pearson family show plucky ingenuity and togetherness to entertain and save us all. Led by High School Musical’s Ashley Tisdale. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught Coco Before Chanel (12A) Dir: Anne Fontaine Starring Amelie’s Audrey Tatout as the famous designer, this French language biography tells the tale of Coco Chanel before her designing high-life took off. Alongside stunning visuals and the sort of beautiful costumes and sets you’d expect, this struggling stroppy French girl shows us how it’s done. Showing at Duke Of York’s and Cineworld
10.30, 11.10 (2D), 12.40, 2.50, 5.00 INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 9.00 ORPHAN (15) 9.30 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 7.10, 9.40 THE TIME TRAVELLERS WIFE (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.40
Thursday 20 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 10.55, 1.00, 3.05, 5.10, 7.20 BANDSLAM (PG) 11.00, 1.40, 4.15, 6.50, 9.20 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 9.10 G–FORCE 3D (PG) 10.20, 12.30, 2.40, 4.50, 7.00 GI JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA (12A) 10.10, 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 8.50 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.40, 2.00, 5.15, 8.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 10.30, 11.10 (2D), 12.40, 2.50, 5.00 INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18) 9.30 ORPHAN (15) 9.30 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 7.10, 9.40 THE TIME TRAVELLERS WIFE (12A) 10.50, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.40
Films showing Friday 21–Monday 24 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES
01903 206206 Tues 18–Thurs 20
Tues 18– Mon 24
THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 8.30 THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 7.30 (Tues & Wed), 5.30 (Thurs)
Fri 21–Mon 24
ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 12.30, 2.45 (except Sat) 5.00 (Tue & Wed), 5.30 (Sun & Mon), 10.15am (Sat) INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (18), 5.00, 8.15,
The Ugly Truth (15) Dir: Robert Luketic Abby (Katherine Heigl) is an uptight TV producer; Mike (Gerard Butler) is her sexist presenter, who makes his fortune handing out his own brand of relationship advice. When Abby meets her ideal man, Mike bets his job that he can help her win this magic man round – if she follows his instructions to the letter. Except then – wouldn’t you know it – he starts to fall for her too. Showing at Odeon and Connaught The Time Traveler’s Wife (12A) Dir: Robert Schwentke A take on Audrey Niffenegger’s best-selling romantic novel, with Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams as a couple cursed by a rare genetic disorder that causes him to jump back and forth in time when stressed. Needless to say theirs is an unusual courtship, with more than its fair share of obstacles to overcome. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Inglourious Basterds
Sin Nombre (15) Dir: Cary Fukunaga Fukunaga won the Directing Award and Excellence in Cinematography Award at this year’s Sundance Film Festival with this, his feature debut. Both written and directed by Fukunaga, it tells the tale of immigrant teenagers travelling across from Central America to Mexico with their sights on the USA and the land of milk and honey. Showing at Duke Of York’s James And The Giant Peach (U) Dir: Henry Selick Like most of Roald Dahl’s stories, the grown-ups are horrible, the child is cleverer than them and the animals are magical and slightly uppity. James is the child who escapes from his terrible aunts in a giant peach. Joining him on his adventures are a grasshopper, a centipede and a ladybug – as you’d expect to find on any respectable piece of furry fruit. Showing at Duke of York’s
20 STAND-UP COMEDY | EVENTS
A laughing matter
Commuters Charity Fun Day
Victoria Nangle reports back from her Edinburgh Festival adventure up North
dinburgh Festival is like Supergran – is there nothing that she cannae do? It would seem not, as my crazed dash up to the Scottish capital saw me take in a mad musical involving a duchess, a lesbian pirate queen and a baby, several sketch shows – one of which accidentally got its audience to shout ‘Mohammed’ – and quite a bit of top class stand-up comedy. And I only went up for the weekend. The air fair crackled with creativity. The lunchtime comedy I caught had the triple advantage of being free, from Brighton, and very funny. Julie Jepson’s Inner Badger filled a refreshingly cool basement bar with likeable laughter and a good nature that set me up with a grin for the day. And Jim Holland’s Choose Your Own Edventure entertained every age group with comedic storytelling about a bloke actually at the festival that needed us – the audience – to tell him what to do next. With giant space monsters and sharp festival satire, it was a bang on start to the day.
“The air fair crackled with creativity” Sketch comedy attacked mid afternoon with the kind of top quality joy we’ve learned to expect from Pappy’s Fun Club – the kind of laugh you used to get when you were five and it was hilarious to fall into a beanbag headfirst. Classic joy. New sketch group Kiosk Of Champions, made up of pro circuiter Stuart Goldsmith and indie circuiter Richard Sandling, hinted at bright things to come with a combination of bang on and almost-there hilarity. Great hooks though, from Stu taking his shirt off near the end (he is the admittedly ‘pretty one’) to free badges quoting a previous reviewer’s comment: ‘unlikeably cocky’. Cocky, but certainly likeable. Character comedy from regular Brighton flyer Brian Gittins, whose frequently sold-out show was hilarious, culminated in a musical number the like of which I’ll never see again. Awkward and slick, scripted and off the cuff – Gittens finds the funny in every corner. For another character of a different but just as likeable ilk, Philberto’s Animal presented a show of ‘Portugal’s top reality star’, costarring sometime Krater compere Maff Brown as his overachieving deaf and dumb brother. This was an evening of leftfield giggles. And if it’s musical comedy you’re after, you can’t do better than Tom Basden. Comedy songs without any excess filler, just original funny thought. And that’s just the tip of my Edinburgh iceberg...
Events highlights If you thought commuting was all about antisocial, half asleep people riding on overpacked trains, think again. This Sunday, Brighton Line Commuters are holding a Charity Fun Day, in conjunction with Southern and First Capital Connect to raise money for the Rockinghorse Appeal. Craft and food stalls, face painters and entertainers will fill Brighton Station. There will also be music, games and competitions for adults and children, as well as a raffle and tombolas with over £1,600 worth of prizes, including a ride in the Southern Railway hot air balloon. Brighton Line Commuters Charity Fun Day, Sunday 23 August, 9am–5pm, Brighton Station, Free. For more info visit www.brightonlinecommuters.org
Arundel Festival The ten-day Arundel Festival begins this week with an eclectic mix of events planned throughout the town, all set against the dramatic backdrop of the medieval castle. The festivities begin at the castle with a parasol parade into town for the raising of the festival flag. This will be followed, in the evening, by music from Supergrass, The Lightning Seeds and Idlewild. Other highlights will include Saturday’s picnic concert with John Barrowman (Torchwood’s Captain Jack), who will be performing hits from Broadway and West End musicals; a performance in the Castle’s Baron’s Hall of Mozart’s Don Giovanni opera; and Castle Garden performances of Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing and A Midsummer Night’s Dream on the following Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The Festival culminates on bank holiday Monday with the Town Fair Day, which will include exhibitions, shows, workshops and an end of festival firework party. Arundel Festival, Friday 21 – Monday 31 August. Venues and prices vary. For more info go to www.arundeltownfestival.com
Stand-up wisdom: “I’ve got a leather jacket. Not a whole one, just the elbows.” Rich Heap
Comedy listings Wednesday 19
The Live Sex Show Fantastic comedy from the writers of Newsrevue and The Treason Show. See it here before it heads to London. The Brunswick, 7.30pm, £5
Krater Comedy Club Awardwinning comedy every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Eat, drink, watch and laugh as three top stand-ups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit entertain you. Featuring Ben Norris, George Egg and much more! See venue for times and prices for the rest of the weekend. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12.50/10
Jerry Sadowitz: Comedian, Magician, Psychopath Vicious humour and jawdropping magic as Jerry Sadowitz previews his new show. Be amused, be offended, be amazed. Edinburgh previews playing every night up to and including Thursday. Komedia, 8pm, £14.50/12.
Thursday 20 Prince Arthur Comedy Night A great night of free comedy in this cosy pub with great atmosphere. Prince Arthur Pub, 8.30pm, free.
Thursday 20 – Sunday 23
Friday 21 – Sunday 23
Wildlife In Colour A children’s workshop. Investigate colour in nature and make your own colourful creature. Stanmer Church, Stanmer Park, Brighton, 10.30am–2.30pm, £11.50/£8, Must book, 01273 497561
Tribal Earth Family-friendly folk and fusion festival. Highlights of this green event include: shamanic workshops, storytelling and a chance to meet kindred spirits. Use of Alcohol is discouraged. Pestalozzi International Village, Ladybird Lane, Seddlescombe, £1 membership fee (paid on entry) www.tribalearth.co.uk
Go Fast Speed days A major ‘Gravity Sports’ event in which riders race boards, bikes and luges down hill at over 60mph. Freeride sessions for non-racers and party on Saturday. Beachy Head Road, near Eastbourne, Fri 9am-11pm, Sat 9am-late and Sun 9am-4pm. Free. www.gofastspeeddays.com
MUSIC NEWS 21
with Jeff Hemmings
★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★
The gift that keeps giving
Push it Brighton’s musical community is set to unite for one of its own in The Big Push, an epic 300 mile charity bike ride taking place in September. Twelve musicians, from acts including eccentric folk-punks Piratechno, The G’s and Realms, will set off on 1 September from Brighton Pier for a 10 day expedition all the way to Land’s End in Cornwall. Piratechno’s Oscar Lotis and Roti Akinlade dreamt up this jaunt with the very serious aim of raising funds to help wheelchair-bound Oscar get back on his feet using a brainpower-harnessing technique at London’s Mind Clinic. Oscar, who has been unable to walk since an accident in May ‘08, is also taking part in the ride on a specially adapted Team Hybrid hand cycle. The tour, stopping at nine different locations on the way, has a website (www.thebigpush.co.uk) where you can sponsor its members.
Brunswick Festival Now in its 28th year, this Brighton institution is run by a voluntary organisation to celebrate the diverse community of Brunswick in Hove. From starting out as a low-key picnic on the green, it has grown to encompass two weekends of outdoor events. The weekend of the 21st and 22nd features live music, dance, street theatre, circus skills, healing area, arts crafts and bric-a-brac stalls, food from around the world and a beer tent. Among the live acts this year are Los Albertos.
Seminal indie band The Wedding Present curate a one-day festival at Concorde 2 this week ext year The Wedding Present, one of the best and most influential of the post new wave bands, will celebrate a quarter century in the business. Remarkably consistent and with a following many a band would kill for, they are still fronted by David Gedge, who now lives just a few miles along the coast in Alfriston, along with bassist Terri De Castro. “I lived in Los Angeles for about a year and a half, and instead of returning to my hometown of Leeds I thought I should try somewhere new,” says David. “I’ve always liked Brighton and know a few people there, but I was put off by things such as prices and logistics like waiting for car permit…” Alfriston via Leeds and Los Angeles… it’s not exactly a well-trodden path. But this is reflected in the career of The Wedding Present themselves, a band who have always done things a little bit differently. “When we first started, we tried to get a record deal but nobody was interested,” says David. “After George Best [their self-released debut album] they all started coming to us. At the time we were bloody minded… there seemed to be this kind of patronising attitude that, ‘yeah, you’ve made a good album, but come with us and we’ll take you to the next level’. If you are in an artistic field, the last thing you want is a businessman telling you what to do.” The Wedding Present released a number of critically acclaimed albums during the
Return of one of the best R’n’B/soul singers this country has produced in recent years. Thursday 12 November, Dome
‘80s and ‘90s and had a fair few hits in the then still relevant singles chart. But from ’97, Gedges’ Cinerama project took precedence. Now, following the release of superb album El Rey last year, David is curating a one-day festival, At The Edge Of The Sea, in Brighton’s Concorde 2. “I was at a service station in Yorkshire and we mulled over the idea of doing a one-day event. It’s also an excuse to get a few of my friends on the same bill!” Along with The Wedding Present, expect to see the likes of Frank Sidebottom, The Pipettes, Lucky Soul, Villareal, Astrid Williamson and Human. There will also be acoustic sets from Cinerama and Terri de Castro in the bar area. At The Edge Of The Sea, Concorde 2, 22 August
UPCOMING GIGS Sister Sledge 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Beachdown 28–31 August Average White Band 8 Sept, Concorde 2 Talvin Singh 23 Sept, Concorde 2 Kelly Joe Phelps 29 Sept, Komedia Brighton Live 30 Sept–3 Oct Hockey 1 October, Digital Bat For Lashes 2 Oct, Dome Joan Baez 5 Oct, Dome Zero 7 6 Oct, Dome Wilko Johnson 8 October, Old Market Rich Hawley 9 October, De La Warr Skindred 19 Oct, Concorde 2 Orquesta Buena Social Club 20 Oct, Dome Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre
Indigo Girls 26 October, Concorde 2 Dizzee Rascal 27 Oct, Dome Jimmy Webb 1 Nov, Dome Reverend & The Makers 2 Nov, Concorde 2 Seth Lakeman 6 Nov, Corn Exchange Beverly Knight 12 Nov, Dome The Specials 19 Nov, Brighton Centre Dreadzone 20 Nov, Komedia Ryuichi Sakamoto 27 Nov, Dome UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper 5 Dec, Brighton Centre James Morrison 8 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre Lily Allen 13 Dec, Brighton Centre
Tuesday 18 to Monday 24 August
Tuesday 18 to Monday 24 August
Tuesday 18 Bill Callahan (Smog) The mastermind behind the melancholy stylings of Smog tours under his real name. St George's Church, 8pm, £12.50 Mates Of Mine + Rothko + Luke Hyttner Featuring darkly experimental bass band Rothko. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Wooden Shjips At times awesome US psych rockers hit the Freebutt. Freebutt, 8pm, £7.50
bands perform live.Providence, 8pm, £1 Stay Sick: The Bluets + Penny Motel Featuring Brighton/Paris noise rockers Penny Motel. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Sunday Driver Refugee Radio benefit with the Cambridge-based outfit. The Jam, 8pm, £tbc William Fitzsimmons Acoustic singersongwriter whose songs have featured in TV’s Grey’s Anatomy. Freebutt, 8pm, £tbc
Fresh Acoustics Open mic night. The Black Lion, 8pm, free Open Mac Night Open mic for electronic music, so bring your laptops and samplers and join in! Sidewinder, 8pm, free Small Gods + The Long Goodbye Raucous rock and dark, brooding balladry inspired by Neil Young, Bob Dylan and Pearl Jam. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £3
Alice (formerly Blueprint) + Gentlemen’s Club We Were All Made In China + The World Big beat and ska-meisters Alice. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc At The Edge Of The Sea: The Wedding Present + The Pipettes + Lucky Soul + Frank Sidebottom + Terry De Castro + Human + Astrid Williamson Ex-Hove resident, Wedding Present main man David Gedge curates a quality all dayer with great support in the form of papier mâché crooner Frank Sidebottom! Plus acoustic sets from Gedge and others. Concorde 2, 3pm–10pm, £15 Jeffrey Lewis + The Junkyard Moldy Peaches associate, similar in style, accompanied for this early show by his band. Freebutt, 4pm, £8 ZU 2 U2 tribute act. Portland Rock Bar, 8pm, £tbc.
Thursday 20 Sound Factory: The Long Goodbye + Nick McKenna + Jake MacKay Unsigned local bands play live. The Providence, 8pm, £1 Dave Mcpherson Engine Rooms, 11pm, £tbc MSTRKRFT Former Death From Above 1979 men are master floor fillers. Ocean Rooms, 10.30pm, £8 Open Mic Night Marlborough Bar & Theatre, 8pm, free We Got Soul & Blues presents Itchy Fingers Rock’n’roll, pop and country covers plus original material and comedy sketch team Melons à Trois. Latest Music Bar,8pm, £6/5 Yakoko + El-Em-En-Oh-Pee + For Marla Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc
Friday 21 Alphabeat Irritating or brilliant(?!) chartconquering Danish pop kids. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £10 Dinosaur Jr The seminal, still pretty noisy, ‘90s grunge rockers return. Concorde 2, 7pm, £16 Mad Max Duo Rock, rhythm and blues and a dash of soul. The Neptune, 8pm, free Quadrophonia Mod tribute band. Portland Rock Bar, 8pm, £tbc Sound Factory: Shoot the Dead + Echo State + Livingston Freeman Unsigned local
Sunday 23 Acoustic Open Mic Night Portland Rock Bar, 8pm, free Dent May And His Magnificent Ukulele Indie tunes played with an uke! Just might work. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £tbc Gem’s Charity Gig Presumably a good cause, though who’s Gem? Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Monotonix Party-lovin’, highly enjoyable big riff rockers from Tel Aviv. Recommended. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £tbc Three Trapped Tigers + Gold Panda Not literally, of course. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £5
Monday 24 Breakthrough with Rough Trade Live and unsigned local bands come to the fore. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £5/4 H’Open Mic Open mic. The Hope, 8pm, free Open Mic The Railway, 8pm, free Nick Aldwinckle
Bill Callahan (Smog) Bill Callahan has released a mighty 13 albums – 11 as Smog, and two under his given name – over his 20-year career. His simple, beguiling and repetitive structures, striking baritone voice and epic lyrical imagery have all combined to make him one of the most treasured names in Americana. Drenched in wry humour and bewitchingly sung, his music resonates with true beauty. Latest album, Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle, has yet again wooed the press. Tuesday 18 August, St George’s Church Alphabeat A somewhat guilty pleasure, Alphabeat are actually a terrific pop band, at home with the timeless qualities of melody, upbeat grooves and colourful dress sense. At this pre-V Festival warm-up show, there’ll be no denying their infectious and warm vibes transfused through a love of all things new romantic and new wave. If you haven’t already, then please stop denying yourselves the odd guilty pleasure or two… Friday 21 August, Brighton Coalition Dinosaur Jr Pre-Nirvana grunge masters who literally exploded onto the scene back in ‘97 with the seminal You’re Living All Over Me. Featuring the trademark howling and rip-roarin’ guitar of J Mascis, the heavily rhythmic bass of Lou Barlow and the dynamic drumming of Murph, the band continue the formula to this day. Very much a
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‘slacker’ band of the time, they have the power and perseverance to continue enthralling live audiences with their wall of sound. Friday 21 August, Concorde 2 Jeffrey Lewis & The Junkyard + Jack Lewis & The Fishermen Three + The Hornblower Brothers Highly regarded Beatnik singer-songwriter who is a regular visitor to these shores. Slacker college drop-out vibes and a self-deprecating sense of humour permeate this comic-book nut’s work, but with the emphasis on a lo-fi approach. From anti-folk to punk-grunge, influences such as Jonathan Richman and Lou Reed are apparent. Recent releases have even included an album of Crass covers, which found the infectious beauty in the cult anarchists’ ravaged punk. Jeffrey’s brother Jack brings along his Three for a real family affair while Brighton’s Hornblower Brothers provide the anchorage. Saturday 22 August, Freebutt Sunday Driver Eclectic mash up of Indian sounds, cabaret, Kate Bush punk and humour from this multi-cultural Cambridge-based outfit, who have been embraced by both the folk and world music scenes. The band are performing in aid of Refugee Radio Orchestra. Refugee Radio are a local community arts group working with refugees and asylum seekers, who broadcast a weekly music show on Radio Reverb 97.2FM. Friday 21 August, The Jam
MUSIC REVIEWS | CHART 23
REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases urning convention on their head, The Hat are releasing their long promised debut album at the end of their life together as a band. Heart Strings And Headstories was released in conjunction with their final two gigs at Komedia last week. In response to sheer demand, the band spent much time recording and producing this document of their five-year career. And what a fine document it is, featuring many of their best known songs (some of which have seen the light of day already on seven inch singles) such as ‘Open Heart’. They’ve managed to translate some of the joyous celebration of their live shows. But the album also reveals those intricate subtleties that occasionally get lost in the live arena. With Dave Sanderson’s flexible voice (he’s equally adept at beat-boxing and singing with soul), excellent harmonies, Dave Stenhouse’s allround musicianship, Buster Cottam’s meaty double-bass playing and Dan Clark’s fantastic stories, it’s a glorious finalé. Ex-Cranberries singer Dolores O’Riordan claims No Baggage is her most heart-on-sleeve offering since The Cranberries’ 1994 album No Need To Argue. O’Riordan spends much of her time in the backwoods of Canada, a place that lends itself to itchy contemplation, and it’s certainly rather spiritual in tone. With rockier numbers mixed in with the plaintive balladry, No Baggage is nicely produced and nicely sung – nothing outstanding here, but then this sort of mediocrity unfortunately sells by the bucketload. I came to Kid British with a mission to destroy; what was an interesting band has been reduced to manufactured pop-ska – or so it seemed. On closer inspection they remain an interesting outfit, albeit one that is thriving in the manufactured ghetto of Manc Scallydom. Their love of Madness and pop ska emerges time and again, but there is a more visceral side to them; indie and rap come to the fore in places, and the production is just the right side of raw. And while their use of session musicians and lyricists to tidy up the original stories smacks of more manufacturedness, they seem like nice romanticists with a sense of humour. Brighton five-piece The Sly-Tones have got a five track EP. A live favourite led by the Jim Morrisonesque frontman Ashley Edwards, the band bring a late ‘60s psychedelic rock sound to the noughties. There’s plenty of madness going on here but it gels well, and Ashley Slater makes a guest appearance on trombone.
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10 ★ 1 Mike and Marge – Every Single Leaf ★ 2 Panos Christofi – My Imagination 3 White Star Liners – Tyre Pressure Was The Least Of His Worries 4 N-D-E – Bad Habit 5 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know 6 Clockworks – Fairytales 7 Jaybee – Brokeback Mountain 8 Chaos Borne – Watching 9 Pam Weekes – The Rhythm 10 Crosis+BOC – Texnology Something a little different at number one this week as the laid back, bossa nova-infused ‘Every Single Leaf‘ by Mike and Marge eases its way to the top spot. Kicking up the tempo, pop singer-songwriter Panos Christofi takes numbers two and five. Meanwhile, eccentric balladeers White Star Liners hit the number three slot as maverick electro crooner David Simnel dominates further down the chart. 11 Gordon’s Alive Taxi In 5 12 Portslade Waking Up 13 Breach Of Contact Patrick Smart 14 Rubber Johnny Fist 15 Surrender Monkeys John Agar Was Right 16 BoxBoy My Weekend 17 The Mojo Fins Always Now 18 Chaos Borne The Moment 19 Chaos Borne I Will 20 Drewvis Estoy Esperando
21 Jaybee Oskar And Eli 22 CoppaTop Cordial Sunshine 23 Lolatwist Pretty 24 Moranimal Strung Out 25 David Simnel and the Pimpernels I Hope We'll See The Bright Side 26 David Simnel and the Pimpernels Firebird 27 David Simnel and the Pimpernels How To Sink A Heart 28 David Simnel and the Pimpernels The Peccadillo Song 29 The Last Cry Rebekka 30 900 Spaces Shake It Up
Submit your music and videos www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart The Sly-Tones
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Bar & Club listings
Tuesday 18 to Monday 24 August
Tuesday 18 to Monday 24 August
delinquent rhythms,‘50s rock’n’roll, 6Ts garage and girl groups. 11pm, £6/5 Honey Club Kidology. Seriously unserious, flamboyant party ‘sphere! 11pm–4am, £5 Life (Previously Arc) Daft Life. Alt dance, indie-leaning house and firing electro. 10pm–3am, £2–4 New Hero Somewhere In The Universe. Leading alt electro dance party. 10pm, £5 Ocean Rooms Strobe. Strobe residents spinning an eclectic mash-up of styles plus pound drinks when the strobe strikes. 10.30pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams. Rock’n’roll mayhem sploshed together with beer, indie anthems and punk. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 The Hanbury Club Club Chat Noir. Time to get in your dancing shoes! 7pm–2am, £6/5
Amsterdam Student Karaoke. 8pm, free Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins rock, metal and ‘80s. 10pm, £2.50 Latest Music Bar Gay Tango. 7–8pm absolute beginners, 8–9.30pm improvers, 9.30–11pm practical/social dancing. From 7pm, £10 Legends Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm.11am–5am, free Queen’s Arms Anything Goes! Karaoke, bingo, a music quiz and more with DJ Kamp Kevin. 12pm–1am, free R-Bar Midweek Shuffle. DJ Zack Hadley plays cheesy pop, chart, ‘90s dance and club. 12pm. The Basement Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
Audio Bright Young Things. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, free Digital Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 NUS Funky Buddha Lounge Funky Disco. Classic tunes and disco beats. 11pm–5am, £3/free New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! 10pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal.10.30pm–3am, £3/1
Wednesday 19 Audio Supercharged. Underground bass heavy sickness from Metalheadz, Commix! 11pm– 2.30am, £5/3 NUS Brighton Coalition Club NME with live bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3.30am, free Digital Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics and chart tracks.11pm–3.30am, £1 Po Na Na Urban Chic. R’n’B, hip-hop, dance hall and funky house. 10pm, £2/free
Thursday 20 Audio Shameless presents Quids In. 11pm, £1 Funky Buddha Lounge Bang Bang. Playing the hippest hip-hop, the freshest dup step and the most banging D’n’B! 11pm–5am, £1 b4 12am Honey Club Contagious. House and dance anthems. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 Jam Thursday Night Fish Fry. ‘50s R’n’B and original Jamaican ska. 10pm–2am, £3 New Hero Pop Kraft. Primary pop overload with the fabulous Boogaloo Stu and The Size Zero Albino. 10pm–2am, £2 Ocean Rooms Our friends electric presents... MSTRKRFT. UK exclusive show from the electro, punk masterminds, MSTRKRFT. 10pm, £8 Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the ‘80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2
Friday 21 Audio Shogun. Ed Rush and MC Fearless will be spinning us into the darkside of D’n’B, plus High Rankin. 11pm–4am, £4 b4 12 Brighton Coalition Broken. Expect the filthiest electro tec, underground trance selections and progressive breaks.11pm, £10 Digital Stonelove. 100 per cent maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative for eyeliner-ed up boys and girls in PVC. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge Twisted Disco Love. Booty shaking, up-front, no nonsense parties! 10pm–6am, free b4 12am/£5 after Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, ‘60s and ‘70s tunes. 10pm-3am, £6/3.50. Jam Laugh Out Loud. An eclectic mix of electronica beats. 10pm–3am, free Komedia Born Bad. A wild and sexy night of
Audio Summer Of Love. Club, electro and techno with guests TBA. 11pm–4am, free Brighton Coalition Wired. Pumping house and upfront electro beats. 11pm–4am, £tbc Concorde 2 Devotion. Ram records honcho, Subfocus plus King of the Jungle, Shy FX and the mighty DJ Fresh smash up the decks! 11pm–4am, £10 Digital Kinky Malinki. Slamming out house and electronica summer rollers is the rather huge, Kid Massive. 11pm–4am, £5 adv Engine Rooms Snake Eyed Mama’s Club. Real deal psychobilly, rockabilly, surf, trash and sleaze. 11pm, £5 Jam EBoogie. E-lectronic Pop. 9pm–2am, free. Komedia DDRR Presents: Ronettes & ShangriLas Bad Girl Special. Spinning femme vox from the late ‘50s to early ‘70s. 11pm, £4 La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house music from all over the world. 8pm–4am, free b4 11/£6 after New Hero It Is Still 1985. An alternative ‘80s night full of adventurous tunes! 10pm, £3 Po Na Na Silk. R’n’B, funky house, commercial. 10pm–3am, £10/5 Volks Frequency. Massive D’n’B Sessions. Free party. 11pm–5am, free
Sunday 23 Life (Previously Arc) Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free The Open House We Change The Frequency Global tunes from across the genres. 8pm, free
Monday 24 Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free Honey Club Disco Babe.10.30pm–2.30am,£3/1 Jam Sessions. D’n’B, dub step, electro and house. 10pm–2am, £tbc Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. 10pm–2.30am, £3/1 Jaime Pettit
Brighton Tavern Games Galore. 12pm, free Charles Street Bar Two’s Company. Cabaret from Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free Ghetto Quiz Alicious and Twisted Karaoke. Hosted by Mistress Cat. 8pm, free Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Drag King Night. Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free Revenge Sound as a Pound. ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. 10.30pm, £1 The Basement Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
Thursday 20 Charles Street Bar & Club Mad Cow XXL – My Cow is on Fire. DJs Li’l Alex and LeeRoy spinning funky house across two floors 8pm–3am, £1 Ghetto Diirty. Miss Masters spins the best dirty electro-house. 10.30pm, free b4 11 Marlborough Bar and Theatre Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-Bar Pre-Girls on Top Party. Verity sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free Revenge Girls on Top. Trashy chart hits and pop remixes.10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30pm with passes, £4/5 after The Basement DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks for your dancing pleasure. 11pm–4am, free
Friday 21 Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Doctor Brightons Flauncy Friday. Filthy funky dance and house. 9.30pm–2am, free Ghetto Popstarz. Indie. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop Sounds. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girl’s Night. Two floors of mayhem with guest DJs.8pm, free
Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes. 9pm R-Bar Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Lollipop vs Altitude.Top pop tunes. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Girly pop and handbag. 11pm–4am, free The Zone Little Zoe. The new female vocalist on the Brighton scene. 9.30pm, free
Saturday 22 Amsterdam Sun Downers + Late Night Bar. The best beach house music in town. 8pm–5am, free Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Queen Jo at the Marly offers fab funky house. 9pm, free The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart remixes with DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury’s Out Viva Las Divas + Booty Call. Live music from 6pm, then guest DJs spin some body shakin’ summer rollers. 12pm, free The Zone Kitty Monroe 9.30pm, free
Sunday 23 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch and Connie’s Karaoke. Karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free Audio Sunday Sundae. Disco-tinged classic dance and funky vocal electro filth with Kate Wildblood and co. 6pm, £5/3 Charles Street Bar Showtime. All singing and all dancing duo of Connie Conway and Lady James! 7.15pm, free Ghetto Nervous Twitch. Fresh krunked up electro fashion party. 9pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Sunday Quiz. With Drag King, Jack Roquard. 7pm, £1 entry Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Candy The Slag + Betty’s Karaoke. (5.30pm). 12pm, free R-Bar Sublime Sundays and Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free Revenge Rainbow Beats. Funky house beats with a Spanish twist. 10.30pm–4am, £tbc The Basement Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
Monday 24 Amsterdam Funky Mondays. 12pm, free Charles Street Club Studio 150. 10pm–2am, £1.50 Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint + Karaoke. 12pm–1am The Basement Chic. Decades of disco. 11pm–4am, free
tuesday 18 The Duchess On The Estate ITV1, 9pm Following her last outing on our television screens, Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, stays on a Manchester council estate to really see how the other half live. The first in this two-parter documentary sees her discover a drug culture, crime culture and breakdown of community. Not happy people.
You Have Been Watching Channel 4, 10pm Charlie Brooker rocks, and anyone who disagrees can tell him to his face. He probably won’t mind, but are you willing to take the risk against his acid tongue? (Not a bizarre super power, he’s just good with words). CB’s comedy panel show welcomes David Mitchell and Ben Miller for clever quips.
True Stories: Deliver Us From Evil More4, 10pm It’s become a cliché in sitcoms but the Catholic church’s inability to deal with priests accused of paedophilia is no laughing matter. Focusing on Oliver O’Grady, a priest once based in California, this catalogues mistake after cover up to save the ‘name’ of the church. Disturbing material.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Saints And Scroungers 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Scoop 3.55 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.05 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.35 Beat The Boss 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 The Large Family 7.20 Tellytales 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 9.00 Athletics: World Championships 11.45 Castle In The Country 12.15pm Open Gardens 12.45 FILM: Beyond The Reef (1981) 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.45 Athletics: World Championships
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm For The Rest Of Your Life 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls
6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.15 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.45 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 Alesha Dixon’s Top 20 Bootyshakers 10.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.25 Channel 4 Racing 3.45 Jamie At Home 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Noel’s Hall Of Fame 5.00 Come Dine With Me
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Bianca realises how she feels about Ricky. But is she too late? Everybody – Rick-kay!! 8.00 Holby City Connie refuses to be managed by Ric - but could her risktaking be her downfall? And Ric’s bid to be reinstated as Director of Surgery looks to be a done deal, but Jac has other ideas. She’s a sly lady that one, with LOADS of make-up. 9.00 Crimewatch Solved With exclusive access and unseen footage, Crimewatch give you the inside story of three incredible cases and how detectives solved them. It’s two years since 11 year-old Rhys Jones was murdered in Liverpool as he made his way home from football. Also, the hunt for a former diplomat, convicted of a hit and run in Britain, but hiding out in Russia. Sounds like a Guy Ritchie film plot. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Neighbourhood Watched Life in the raw for Britain’s housing officers and their tenants. 11.15 FILM: Masquerade (1988) Starring Rob Lowe, Meg Tilly, Kim Catrall. Romantic suspense thriller. 12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Coast 1.50 Country Tracks 2.45 Jam And Jerusalem 3.45 Heir Hunters 4.30 BBC News
8.00 Coast Coast heads high into the wild Atlantic to the majestic Faroe Islands, where we find how romance blossomed for British soldiers and Faroese women in WWII. 9.00 Desperate Romantics Drama series set in 19th-century London, following the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. Rossetti and Lizzie revel in Ruskin’s patronage, enjoying parties and debauchery. Ruskin threatens to end his support unless they calm down and focus on art, and Lizzie responds swiftly. Not with a rude hand signal. Rossetti struggles, commencing an affair with street girl Fanny Cornforth, whose beauty inspires in him a more sensual style of painting. Tres passionate fellow here. Bound to break hearts. 10.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast Julia Bradbury follows in the footsteps of guidebook writer Alfred Wainwright by walking across northern England from west to east coast. Richmond is the starting point for the longest section of Julia’s adventure. Miles of flat walking awaits as Julia sets off across the broad vale between the Dales and her last National Park. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed Baltimore police drama. Bubbles’s big plan backfires and leaves him in big trouble. 12.35am BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Val stops pursuing Pollard. He may be grey but he’s spritely fast. 7.30 Grimefighters Following the daily lives of Britain’s clean up teams, including pest controllers, restaurant inspectors and litter pickers. Grossout telly at tea time. Yum. 8.00 Car Crime UK Today’s programme follows the police as they track down serial car criminals who will go to any length to avoid being identified. Copydex your fingterprints? 9.00 The Duchess On The Estate See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Police Camera Action! Footage of heart-stopping police videos spotlighting dangerous and reckless driving from forces across the UK, presented by Alastair Stewart and Adrian Simpson. Today, the latest hi-tech gadgets used by police to crack down on crooks and bad drivers. Not like Inspector Gadget at all, no matter how it sounds. 11.05 Supernatural While hunting a Djinn, Dean is attacked and taken to an alternate reality in which his mother hasn’t died and the brothers lead normal lives. 12.00am Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x3) 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Malachy tries to make amends to Kris for stealing money from the flat. Meanwhile, Michaela has a powerful and moving way of delivering her vows to Zak at their commitment ceremony. Cripes. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Property Snakes And Ladders Sarah Beeny revisits Patsy and John Parnell in Windsor, who plan to convert an old pub into a family home. She also lends her expertise to Andy and Amanda Tindall, who are looking to upgrade their threebedroom house. Will they listen? Will they to blazes! Curse of Cassandra. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. Someone stole someone else’s imaginary pink elephant. War! 10.00 You Have Been Watching See highlights. 10.50 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. 11.25 The Kevin Bishop Show The impressionist presents a fast-paced sketch shows. 11.55 V Festival: The Countdown 1.00am Big Brother: Live 4.00 The McCain Track And Field Show 4.30 MSA Formula Ford Championship 4.55 Gillette World Sport 5.20 Freesports On 4 5.50 Treacle People
6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Hana’s Helpline 9.25 Funky Valley 9.30 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.45 Property List: Top Spots 3.00 FILM: Breathing Lessons (1993) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Michaela visits Noah’s Ark Zoo Farm near Bristol where the staff are preparing for the arrival of two magnificent Bengal tigers. Call them Seigreied and Roy and get them to teach the keepers tricks. Go on. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Vets In Action Horse whisperer Sarah Kreutzer tries to help a racehorse called Pandora who has a terrible fear of the starting stalls. 8.00 Big, Bigger, Biggest This edition studies six developments that have made the construction of a giant floating oil rig possible. Water, for starters. 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. A baby is snatched from her mother’s arms by a professional kidnapper and the team races to find her. With ‘looking’ eyes and ‘smelling’ noses. 10.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. The CSIs find themselves faced with one of their most puzzling cases to date as a number of people called Mac Taylor turn up dead across the city. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama. Grissom fears there is a serial killer on the loose. The worst place for a serial killer. 12.00am The Guardian 1.00 Ironman Triathlon 1.30 ITU Triathlon (x2) 3.10 European Challenge Tour Golf T3.35 UEFA Cup Classics 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Great Artists
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 Elite League Speedway 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30pm Netbusters 1.00 Elite League Speedway 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 Netbusters 4.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 7.00 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football First: Match Choice 12.00am Football First: Match Choice 1.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 2.00 Football Asia 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 NFL: Total Access 4.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 5.00 Football Asia 5.30 Mountainbike World
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE: Afterburn 8.00 Spruce Meadows 9.00 British Basketball 11.00 Poker 12.30pm Bowls 2.30 British Basketball 4.30 NFL: Total Access 5.30 Pool: World Pool Masters 6.30 Holding Court 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 10.30 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 12.30am Holding Court 1.00 Bowls 3.00 Holding Court 3.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 8.00am Asian Tour Weekly 9.00 Bowls 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Spruce Meadows 1.00 Extra Time 1.30 Poker 3.00 Ocean Adventures 3.30 WWE: Smackdown 5.30 Asian Tour Weekly 6.30 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 7.00 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am World Tenpin Masters 1.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 1.30 Formula 3 Euroseries 2.30 Close
2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 House 10.00 House 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Street Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 9.00 Virgin Cooks 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Underage And Pregnant 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 12.45am Nip And Tuck: My Big Decision 1.40 Underage And Pregnant
7.00pm News 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 The Cell 9.00 We Need Answers 9.30 Cowards 10.00 The PreRaphaelites: Victorian Revolutionaries 10.30 Getting On 11.00 Early Doors 11.30 Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe 12.00am The Cinema Show: Trust Me I’m A Doctor Medics In The Movies
12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 The World’s Best Diet 9.00 FILM: The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005) 11.15 FILM: 8 Mile (2002) 1.15am Emmerdale
9.25am Quincy ME (x2) 11.25 Home To Roost 11.55 My Uncle Silas 12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 My Uncle Silas 5.05 Home To Roost 5.40 Heartbeat 6.40 Pie In The Sky 7.50 Poirot 10.00 Wire In The Blood 12.00am Poirot 1.55 Upstairs, Downstairs
3.00pm Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.55 Big Brother: Live
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 True Stories: Deliver Us From Evil. See highlights. 12.00am Location, Location, Location 1.05 True Stories
1.00pm 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Four Weddings 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Ghost Hunters
2.00pm Great Planes 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Extreme Engineering 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Swamp Loggers 10.00 Alaska’s Great Race 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How It’s Made (x2) 1.00 Swamp Loggers
6.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x4) 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Quantum Leap (x5) 4.00pm FILM: Fire From Below (2009) 6.10 FILM: Merlin And The Book Of Beasts (2009) 8.00 Knight Rider 9.00 Legend Of The Seeker (x2) 11.00 Medium (x2) 1.00am FILM: Hydra (2009) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel
8.10am Seven Days In May (1964) 10.20 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 12.50pm Sweet Charity (1969) 3.20 The Movie Geek 3.50 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 6.25 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 9.00 Seven Days In May (1964) 11.00 The Boston Strangler (1968) 1.00am Lover Come Back (1961)
1.35pm Juno (2007) 3.15 Cradle Will Rock (1999) 5.30 Clubland (2007) 7.20 The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007) 10.00 Juno (2007) 11.40 The Air I Breathe (2007) 1.20am Cradle Will Rock (1999) 3.35 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007)
11.00am The Human Jungle (1954) 12.40pm Green For Danger (1946) 2.40 Laura (1944) 4.25 A Letter To Three Wives (1949) 6.40 A River Runs Through It (1992) 9.00 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) 11.05 The Hills Have Eyes (2006) 1.10am One Missed Call (2003) 3.25 Close
9.20am Bye Bye Braverman (1968) 11.10 Code Name: Emerald (1985) 1.00pm The Double Man (1967) 3.00 The Abdication (1974) 5.00 She’s Back On Broadway (1953) 6.55 Rebel Without A Cause (1955) 9.00 Pretty In Pink (1986) 11.00 Scarecrow (1973) 1.15am Pretty In Pink (1986) 3.05 Scarecrow (1973)
5.40pm One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 The Story Of Only Fools And Horses 10.20 Never Mind The Horrocks 11.15 Fawlty Towers 11.55 Little Britain USA 12.30am Blackadder Goes Forth 1.10 Steptoe And Son
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men(x2) 10.00 South Park 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x3)
wednesday 19 Megastructures Five, 8pm What goes up must come down. So goes the proverb but it ain’t always that easy sister. Following this incredible engineering challenge to demolish a 40-yearold rocket launch tower, a third of the structure’s weight must be stripped out before imploding the thing. And high winds aren’t your friend in this enterprise.
Ugly Betty Channel 4, 10pm This drama comedy keeps on going, and finally it looks like Betty might be one step closer to her dream of becoming an editor. Everybody – Ahh! Our fashionchallenged heroine applies to YETI, the Young Editors Training Program, fresh-eyed and cottontailed. And so does Marc, but with more Wilhelmina attributes.
Numb3rs ITV3, 9pm The crime drama that makes maths more interesting than the time the teacher came in smelling weird continues as the FBI and maths genius combi tackle a link between the deaths of a Senator and a psychiatrist. Conspiracy theories abound, cool graphics create themselves across the screen and cops look cool.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Saints And Scroungers 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Scoop 3.55 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 The Large Family 7.20 Tellytales 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 9.00 Athletics: World Championships 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 FILM: The Spanish Main (1945) 2.05 Lifeline 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.45 Athletics: World Championships
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm For The Rest Of Your Life 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am Sali Mali 6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.20 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.50 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 Lily Allen Special: Under The Skin 10.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 3.45 Jamie At Home 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 9.30 Golf: Euro PGA Golf Tudor Park 11.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 12.00pm Football First: Match Choice (x3) 4.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 7.00 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football First: Match Choice 12.00am Football First: Match Choice 1.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 2.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 4.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 4.30 Boots ‘n’ All 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Wildest Dreams Nick Knowles presents as the budding wildlife filmmakers make their bid to win a job at the BBC’s Natural History Unit. They arrive at Mzima Springs in Kenya, which with its crystal clear water is normally the best place in the world to film hippos and crocodiles. 8.30 Seaside Rescue Documentary series following Britain’s maritime rescue services. Pugwash ahoy! 9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Martin Freeman’s father died when he was just 10 years old. His parents had divorced some years before and Martin knows virtually nothing about the paternal side of his family history. Now he wants to fill in the blanks. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Want. Want. Want. Want. Want. 10.40 Silverville Documentary following the lives and loves of residents in a new, purpose-built retirement village in Milton Keynes. 11.10 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from tonight’s Premier League matches. 12.15am FILM: The Anderson Tapes (1971) 1.50 Weatherview 1.55 Sign Zone: The Trouble With Girls 2.55 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey 3.55 Heir Hunters 4.40 BBC News
9.00 Dragons’ Den Another set of businessmen and -women pitch to the multimillionaire Dragons for that all-important financial backing. Samantha Gore returns with another addition to her crime prevention business and continued dreams of investment. Fellow Mancunian and classical pianist David Schofield is hoping his youthful take on the classics will get a Dragon to finance his future recordings. Also aiming to succeed is Ronan McCarthy from Surrey with his 21st century take on the shoe polish booth. 10.00 Taking The Flak Sitcom with Martin Jarvis and Doon Mackichan. It’s a new democratic dawn for a wartorn country as the exiled ‘Lion Queen of Karibu’ returns to a heroine’s welcome, a rally and an election. The war is over, and the world news spotlight is about to move on, but what does that mean for Harry, Grace, and Samantha? What does the future hold for them and for the country? 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark. 11.20 The Edinburgh Festival Show The Edinburgh Festival kicked off last week and is now in full swing – with the bizarre, the macabre and just oodles of creativity all round. 12.10am BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Pollard is saddened to learn that Val has left for Australia. Chas forgives Paddy for his lack of trust. Bob is keen for Gennie to visit her new boyfriend. Go away girlie, Bob wants Bob-time. 7.30 UEFA Champions League Steve Rider presents live coverage of the first leg of one of tonight’s playoffs to decide which teams qualify for the lucrative group stage of this season’s competition. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League Steve Rider presents highlights of the first leg of one of tonight’s play-offs to decide which teams qualify for the lucrative group stage of this season’s competition. 11.35 Benidorm Unpacked A look at the truly unique holiday phenomena that some Brits either call ‘Blackpool with sun‘ or their ‘spiritual home‘. In the heart of the town we meet Lisa, deputy manager of the Ambassador Hotel and Tony, who puts willing holidaymakers through his fun-packed water aerobic work-outs. But is exercise ever fun if it doesn’t involve the possibility of falling down in a heap? Consider. 12.05am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Action (x3) 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste is forced to decide whether to hand over Lucas to his new adoptive parents. Josh gets his exam results and discovers whether he can get into Kings College London. Life decisions all round. Quick, get a McQueen quip in. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location Two couples are looking for an opportunity to blend a commute into London with countryside living in Kent and Sussex. Army wife Charley and her husband Colonel Patrick Tomlinson are looking for a permanent place after so many years on manoeuvres. Meanwhile, Simon and Tina Haben have outgrown their trendy city apartment and want a more family-friendly home. Ahh. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 Ugly Betty See highlights. 11.00 Skins Drama series following the chaotic lives of a group of Bristol teenagers. Effy is at a low ebb and Katie makes the most of every opportunity to rub in the fact that she has replaced her as Queen Bee. On the way to a party in the woods, the car strains with tension. 12.00am Teachers 1.05 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Full Metal Challenge 4.55 Scrapheap Challenge 5.50 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Hana’s Helpline 9.25 Funky Valley 9.30 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.10 FILM: Columbo: Murder, A Self-Portrait (1989) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Mean Machines Documentary series showcasing technologically advanced machines. This instalment examines some of the most cutting edge bulldozers in the world, from tiny machines to massive six metrehigh monsters. Five-year-old you loves diggers. Find a sandpit now! 8.00 Megastructures See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Inferno (1999) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Niki Bokal, Larry Drake. Action drama about a loner whose suicide attempt is interrupted by a gang of local thugs. He decides to stamp out the warfare between two local gangs, and make his peace with the widow of his best friend in the process. 10.55 FILM: JCVD (2008) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Karim Belkhadra. Crime comedy starring Jean-Claude Van Damme as a fictional version of himself. With his career on the skids and having lost custody of his daughter, Van Damme returns to his native Belgium. But his hopes of starting afresh appear to be dashed when he is caught up in the middle of a bank heist. 12.45am PartyPoker.com European Open V 2.15 Rolex Grand Am 3.05 Cricket On Five 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Great Artists
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 8.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 9.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 10.00 Holding Court 10.30 Football Asia 11.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 1.00pm Golf: PGA Pro Tour - Marriott Park 3.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 10.30 Boots ‘n’ All 11.30 NFL: Total Access 12.30am FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 European Tour Weekly 1.30 Watersports World 2.30 Trans World Sport 3.30 DTM 4.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 8.00am Asian Tour Golf 9.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 9.30 Mountain Bike World 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 2.00 Mountain Bike World 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 WWE: The Bottom Line 4.30 WWE: Afterburn 5.30 Total Rugby 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Euro Pro Tour Golf 12.00am World Tenpin Masters 1.00 Max Power 2.00 Euro Pro Tour Golf 4.00 Close Victoria Nangle
2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Missing Children: Lorraine Kelly Investigates 10.00 FILM: Desperado (1995) 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50am Inside...
7.00pm Doctor Who (x2) 8.30 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 FILM: Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004) 10.35 Family Guy (x2) 11.20 Little Britain 11.50 We Are Klang 12.15am Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 1.15 Underage And Pregnant 1.45 The Real Hustle On Holiday 2.15 Virgin Cooks
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Once A Soldier 8.00 Casualty 1909 9.00 The Cell 10.00 Superfly 11.00 FILM: Gods And Monsters (1998) 12.40am The Cell 1.40 Superfly 2.40 The Cell 3.30 Close
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Animals Do The Funniest Things 9.00 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 11.10 FILM: The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) 1.30am Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show
12.00pm My Uncle Silas 1.00 Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs Downstairs 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 My Uncle Silas 5.15 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Life 11.00 FILM: The Life Of David Gale (2003) 1.30am Upstairs Downstairs
3.00pm Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell Of Fear (1991) 10.40 Rude Tube 11.10 You Have Been Watching 12.00am Big Brother: Live
3.00pm A Place In The Sun 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Time Team 10.00 The Scandalous Adventures Of Lord Byron 11.05 FILM: Enemy At The Gates (2001) 1.40am Time Team
11.00am Maury (x2) 12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed 5.00 Charmed 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Eleventh Hour 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed
1.00pm Mummy Autopsy 2.00 Great Planes 3.00 The Reich Underground 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Extreme Engineering 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Encounters At The End Of The World 11.00 Bear Grylls 12.00am How It’s Made (x2)
11.00am V (x5) 4.00pm FILM: Ground Zero (2000) 6.10 FILM: Hercules In The Underworld (1994) 8.00 FILM: Attack Of The Gryphon (2007) 9.50 FILM: Hydra (2009) 11.40 Medium 12.40am FILM: Descent (2005) 2.30 3rd Rock From The Sun 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho
10.25am Broken Arrow (1950) 12.00pm Rear Window (1954) 1.55 Sullivan’s Travels (1941) 3.30 The Great Man’s Lady (1942) 5.10 Twelve O’Clock High (1949) 7.25 Broken Arrow (1950) 9.00 Marnie (1964) 11.15 Rear Window (1954) 1.20am The Sand Pebbles (1966)
10.50am Tumbleweeds (1999) 12.35pm The Serpent (2006) 2.40 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) 4.25 The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 6.25 Days Of Glory (2005) 8.30 Tube Tales (1999) 10.00 In Bruges (2008) 11.50 Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 1.35am Mumford (1999)
11.00am Dragoon Wells Massacre (1957) 12.45pm Lisbon (1956) 2.30 I Was A Male War Bride (1949) 4.45 The Scarlet Pimpernel (1934) 6.40 Batman Forever (1995) 9.00 Hide (2008) 10.40 Silent Hill (2006) 1.00am The Cave (2005) 3.00 Close
7.20am The Abdication (1974) 9.10 She’s Back On Broadway (1953) 11.10 The Star (1952) 1.00pm Downhill Racer (1969) 3.00 Band Of Angels (1957) 5.25 The Big Trees (1952) 7.05 The Omega Man (1971) 9.00 The Story Of Us (1999) 10.50 The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing (1973) 1.05am The Story Of Us (1999)
5.35pm One Foot In The Grave 6.15 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 Fawlty Towers 9.40 Little Britain USA 10.15 Blackadder Goes Forth 10.55 Only Fools And Horses 12.00am Only Fools And Horses 1.10 French And Saunders
5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 The Office: An American Workplace 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x3)
thursday 20 New Tricks BBC1, 9pm There’s an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman, who all walked into a bar with my mother-in-law. B’boom! Yes, tonight’s old dogs investigate the disappearance of a couple of young political activists who’ve taken exception to a racist old-stylie comedian. Then things get even murkier than trying to define ‘bad taste’…
Benefit Busters Channel 4, 9pm A new series attempting to address the way our society is morphing into something new and not altogether desirable to the powers that be. As more cash goes out in benefits than comes into the coffers, Hayley Taylor tries to help ten single mums enter the workplace and show them that working works.
Judge Judy ITV2, 6pm If you‘ve got a problem, don’t know who else to turn to, then why not broadcast it on international television? Familyfriendly Judge Judy puts the world to rights by abandoning the pretense that this is normal behaviour and putting conflicts into a legal court room and going – ‘that’s wrong, mate!‘
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Saints And Scroungers 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Scoop 3.55 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.05 Roar 4.35 SMart 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 The Large Family 7.20 Tellytales 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 8.55 Wolverine And The XMen 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 League Of Super Evil 9.45 Athletics: World Championships 11.45 Castle In The Country 12.15pm Open Gardens 12.45 FILM: A Stitch In Time (1967) 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.45 Athletics: World Championships
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm For The Rest Of Your Life 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am Sali Mali 6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.50 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 Katy Perry’s Top 20 Girls You Don’t Wanna Mess With 10.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.25 Channel 4 Racing 3.45 Jamie At Home 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 Live Cricket: The Ashes 2009 7.00pm Barclays Premier League World 7.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 Golf Night 11.00 LIVE: Live Golf: Solheim Cup 2009 Opening Ceremony 1.00am Cricket: The Ashes 2009 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 Rallyzone 4.00 NFL - Total Access 5.00 Race World
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Dot battles her emotions as Jim returns to the Square. Looking somewhat different. 8.00 As Seen On TV Steve Jones hosts the celebrity TV quiz, with classic clips, hilarious outtakes and the best of the best of current television. Huzzah! 8.30 The Rat Pack Documentary following the work of pest controllers Jimmy and Ricky Clark. Doo be doo be doo. Different kind of Rat Pack. 9.00 New Tricks See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Being Human Comedy-drama series about three supernatural housemates trying to live normal lives. Mitchell, George and Annie have the house guest from hell – literally. When George meets another werewolf called Tully it seems that he wants to stay forever. Bad dog! 11.35 FILM: Keeping Up With The Steins (2006) Starring Daryl Sabara, Jami Gertz, Daryl Hannah. Comedy. While 13-year-old Benjamin’s wealthy Hollywood parents prepare an extravagant party for his Bar Mitzvah, he has other ideas. 12.55am Holiday Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.30 Fighting Passions 2.30 Countryfile 3.25 Heir Hunters 4.10 BBC News
8.00 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey Rick Stein takes the viewer on an epic culinary journey by sea, down rivers and overland to explore the Far East’s diverse food cultures. Rick ends his culinary tour in Bangladesh, the country that spawned thousands of ‘Indian’ restaurants in Britain years ago. Not surprisingly, curry is at the top of his list. Why is it called a ‘Ruby’ here? 9.00 Mock The Week At the halfway point, Dara O Briain presents a special show featuring unseen material and favourite bits from the series so far. All censored. 9.30 The Funny Side Of Animals Clive Anderson guides us through the history of television’s love affair with animals. Never work with children or animals is an old adage, but TV continues to ignore it. And so mistakes and mishaps are bound to happen. And outtake shows. Did Denis Norden not have a proper pension plan? 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed Baltimore police drama. McNulty and the detail continue to stake out Marlo’s crew. Carver has been promoted and has to deal with police unhappy about unpaid overtime. 12.20am Wine 1.20 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Bob gets a new job to avoid being in Brenda and Viv’s crossfire. That’s constructive dismissal that is! 7.30 Countrywise 8.00 Emmerdale Terry becomes Val’s village informant. It’s all gone very ‘Allo ‘Allo suddenly. 8.30 Coronation Street David warns Joe to leave Gail alone. Molly is hurt when she hears about Kevin’s plans with Sally. That’s why they call you the ‘other woman,‘ love. Not ‘first.‘ 9.00 The Bill Neil is convinced that someone has a vendetta against Julia Bickham. It emerges that Julia gave evidence at the inquest a couple of years before of a young woman’s suicide which meant that Fairfax lost an insurance claim and the custody of his daughter. So a very unhappy – but slow to act – camper. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The 30 Year Secret: Real Crime The murder of 11-year-old Lesley Molseed in West Yorkshire in 1975 led to a 16 year miscarriage of justice, and it took a further 15 years before the real killer was caught. This is that story. 11.35 Surface Fantasy adventure. 12.30am British Superbike Championship Highlights 1.40 Motorsport UK 2.30 Supernatural 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste is distraught to find that Daniel has taken baby Lucas. All that build up – now the mucky stuff hits the whizzing thing, and no mistake. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How Clean Is Your House? Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie visit Texan charity worker Melinda, whose dirty London home has created a rift with her grown-up daughter Natalie. Not a raft. That’d be if her flat was full of driftwood. 8.30 Dolce Vito – Dream Restaurant Entrepreneur Vito Cataffo sets out on an epic quest to prove that our food is the best in the world by running a restaurant serving British grub in Italy. Vito continues his search for the perfect restaurant location and submits offers on two properties. 9.00 Benefit Busters See highlights. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 11.10 The TNT Show Jack Whitehall and Holly Walsh present a weekly entertainment show. 11.40 You Have Been Watching Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.30am 4 Music: 4Play: Passion Pit 12.45 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Full Metal Challenge 4.55 Scrapheap Challenge 5.50 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Hana’s Helpline 9.25 Funky Valley 9.30 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 Zoo Days 3.15 FILM: The Staircase Murders (2007) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the fifth Test between England and Australia at the Brit Oval. 8.00 The Mentalist: Revealed Documentary celebrating the character of Patrick Jane, and Simon Baker, the actor who brings ‘The Mentalist’ to life. Baker discusses his feelings about the role that has taken him from relative obscurity to global superstardom. Cute guy in The Devil Wears Prada? Oh, clever sociopath dude who helps police. Yup. 8.30 Inside The Mentalist An exclusive look behind the scenes of the drama The Mentalist. 9.00 The Mentalist Drama series. The murder of a teenage boy leads to a dubious high school principal, a terrifying legend and a mysterious secret society. It’s non-stop Mental! 10.00 The Mentalist Drama series. Jane puts his life on the line in an attempt to catch Red John when the notorious serial killer strikes again. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Police drama. Detectives Goren and Eames come under pressure from Captain Deakins when a murder investigation leads them to a celebrated ex-police chief. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 NFL Classics 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 The Great Artists
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Trans World Sport 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 Live Euro Tour Golf 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 Football First: Match Choice 2.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 3.00 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 5.00 NFL Total Access 6.00 Race World 7.00 Rallyzone 7.30 LIVE: Greyhound Racing 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 LIVE: Sky Poker Five-OO 1.00am Time Of Our Lives 2.00 National Rugby League 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 9.00am DTM 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Football: UEFA Champions League 12.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Euro Tour Golf 3.00 DTM 4.00 World Tenpin Masters 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 WWE Special 7.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 7.30 LIVE: National Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am WWE Special 1.30 Rallyzone 2.00 Race World 3.00 Close
2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 Justin Lee Collins: West End Star 10.00 Bones 11.00 Fringe (x2) 1.20am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Doctor 9.00 Tough Guy Or Chicken? 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 We Are Klang 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Tough Guy Or Chicken? 12.50am Virgin Cooks 1.45 Underage And Pregnant 2.15 We Are Klang 2.45 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 BBC Proms 2009: Handel’s Samson 11.10 Wallander 12.40am BBC Proms 2009: Handel’s Samson 5.30 Close
12.30pm Nanny 911 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2). See highlights. 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Holiday Showdown 9.00 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 11.30 Entourage 12.05am FILM: Two Weeks Notice (2002)
2.35pm Pie In The Sky 3.40 My Uncle Silas (x2) 4.45 Monarch Of The Glen 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Greatest Cities Of The World With Griff Rhys Jones 10.00 The Forsyte Saga 11.40 Numb3rs 12.40am The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 1.30 Cracker
3.00pm Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Reaper 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Loop 11.00 Free Agents 11.30 King Of The Hill 12.00am Reno 911 12.30 Big Brother: Live
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Jamie At Home 9.30 Jamie At Home 10.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 11.10 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.10am Without A Trace
1.00pm 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Private Practice 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (X2) 1.00am Living With Kimberly Stewart
12.00pm Oil, Sweat And Rigs 1.00 Mummy Autopsy 2.00 Great Planes 3.00 The Reich Underground 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Extreme Engineering 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Mega Builders (x2) 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How It’s Made (x2)
11.00am Angel (x5) 4.00 FILM: The Celestine Prophecy (2006) 6.10 FILM: Odysseus And The Isle Of Mists (2007) 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker 9.00 Legend Of The Seeker 10.00 Knight Rider 11.00 Medium (x2) 1.50am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho
1.30pm The Movie Geek 2.00 Louisiana Purchase (1941) 3.50 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 5.40 The Wild One (1953) 7.10 The Devil And Miss Jones (1941) 9.00 East Of Eden (1955) 11.00 Coogan’s Bluff (1968) 12.40am Rooster Cogburn (1975) 2.35 Louisiana Purchase (1941)
10.40am The Savages (2007) 12.40pm Buffalo ‘66 (1998) 2.40 The Escapist (2001) 4.20 Detroit Rock City (1999) 6.00 The Diving Bell And The Butterfly (2007) 8.00 Buffalo ‘66 (1998) 10.00 The Savages (2007) 12.00am Magnolia (1999) 3.25 The Diving Bell And The Butterfly (2007)
11.00am Shakespeare Wallah (1965) 1.20pm The Good Die Young (1954) 3.10 Sailor Beware! (1956) 4.45 The Barbarian And The Geisha (1958) 6.50 Akeelah And The Bee (2006) 9.00 The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 11.45 The Breed (2006) 1.30am Wolf Creek (2004) 3.30 Close
9.30am The Big Trees (1952) 11.10 The Omega Man (1971) 1.00pm Drum Beat (1954) 3.00 Best Friends (1982) 5.10 Jailhouse Rock (1957) 7.05 Hooper (1978) 9.00 Any Given Sunday (1999) 12.00am The Big Red One (1980) 2.05 Any Given Sunday (1999) 5.00 Drum Beat (1954)
3.00pm Only Fools And Horses 3.40 Maid Marian And Her Merry Men 4.20 My Family 5.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Only Fools And Horses (x3) 11.15 FILM: Keeping The Faith (2000) 1.40am Steptoe And Son
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x3)
friday 21 Bus Pass Bullfighter Channel 4, 7.35pm Salford’s not the first place you think of when you think of bullfighting. Not normally. But Frank ‘El Inglis’ Evans resides there and is looking forward to his comeback into the arena. That’s now that he’s had knee replacement surgery and a quadruple heart bypass. Who said retirement was peaceful?
The Tudors BBC2, 9pm Back when 1536 was a year and not a train time, Henry VIII was married to Jane Seymour and hoping for political stability in his land, and a son for his throne. Little bit of a hiccup then when there’s an insurrection of commoners against the suppression of the Catholic church. Dang it. Top drama.
Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Doctor BBC3, 2.40am Truly an ‘up all night’ Friday night telly gem. Imagine you’re awake at this time and discovering this, the best Doctor Who moments since Russell T Davies took the helm of the sci-fi franchise. From twisted turmoil to a frisky twin, there are plenty of classic moments, so sit back and enjoy.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Saints And Scroungers 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Scoop 3.55 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.05 Basil’s Game Show 4.35 Hotel Trubble 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 8.55 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 League Of Super Evil 9.45 ChuckleVision 10.00 Horrible Histories 10.35 Deadly 60 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm FILM: McCinsey’s Island (1997) 1.30 Living In The Sun 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am Sali Mali 6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.20 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.45 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 V Festival: The Countdown 10.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 3.45 Jamie At Home 4.15 Deal Or No Deal: Noel’s Hall Of Fame 5.00 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 Rallyzone 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 7.00pm Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE: Super League 10.00 Football League Weekend 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 2009 2.00 Super League 4.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009
6.00 Athletics: World Championships Day seven of the World Championships from Berlin is expected to be dominated by the allAmerican showdown in the men’s 400m between Olympic champion LaShawn Merritt and world champion Jeremy Wariner. Current world record-holder Michael Johnson will be on hand to offer his expert opinion from the studio. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Gardeners’ World has been following the progress of Lynda Brown over two years, as she has been bringing the overgrown garden of Jessamine Cottage back to life. Ahh. 9.00 The Tudors See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.05 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars Marcus Brigstocke hosts a chat show in which he invites someone to step out of their comfort zone and try five new cultural experiences. Broadcaster Emily Maitlis listens to Dolly Parton, watches The Godfather and rides a motorbike for the first time. Way to go, girl! 11.35 Medium Supernatural drama series. Allison is called in to help investigate the death of a warmly regarded politician. 12.15am Medium 12.55 The Wire (x3)
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Aaron’s vendetta ruins the Barton family’s party plans. He steals all the ice cream and stops the jelly setting? The cad! 7.30 Coronation Street Lloyd makes a final attempt to win Liz back. Leaving a trail of leopard-skin stilettos to his door might help? 8.00 Airline A group of young carers en route to Disneyland Paris are stranded at Luton after a flight mixup. They won’t be happy. 8.30 Coronation Street David is brutally attacked by a mystery assailant. Eeeny meeny miny mo, pick a character with a motive – any character with a motive. 9.00 Kingdom Drama about a solicitor in a small town. When a fisherman’s trawler is wrecked in an explosion his insurance company refuses to pay up, so he turns to Peter for help. Lyle is despatched to investigate further – is there evidence of sabotage? Maybe. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Bill: Reaching Out Repeat of Thursday’s episode. 11.35 FILM: Family Plot (1976) Starring Karen Black, Bruce Dern. Tongue-in-cheek thriller about two greedy couples’ efforts to get their hands on a family fortune. 1.40am FILM: On The Edge (2001) 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.45 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Hana’s Helpline 9.20 Funky Valley 9.30 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.45 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 Zoo Days 3.10 FILM: Emma’s Wish (1998) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. Michaela visits Edinburgh Zoo, home to some of the world’s rarest animals – including the only koalas in Britain. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the fifth Test between England and Australia at the Brit Oval. 8.00 You’re Nicked Natalie Pinkham finds out the true stories behind dramatic crimes caught on camera. 9.00 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. Ducky must go undercover to stop the sale of the Navy’s new weapons system to an arms dealer. Yay! The Man From UNCLE’s Illya Kuryakin co-stars! 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series following New York’s Major Case Squad. A rapper is gunned down in the street and witnesses to the crime start to go missing. Logan and Wheeler must overcome a conspiracy of silence in the community and tangle with an unreliable undercover agent in a bid to find the killer. 11.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. A baby is snatched from her mother’s arms by a professional kidnapper. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The FBI Files 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 HouseBusters
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 My Family Domestic sitcom. Janey starts an affair with a dentist. 8.00 EastEnders Minty discovers the truth about Dawn from Phil, but will he tell Garry? She’s a handful. 8.30 Traffic Cops Documentary series following the traffic police. Like work experience when you were at school without leaving the sofa. 9.00 FILM: War Of The Worlds (2005) Starring Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Miranda Otto, Justin Chatwin, Tim Robbins. Science fiction remake of the 1953 adaptation of HG Wells’s classic novel, about a dock worker’s fight to get his children to safety when aliens attack Earth. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 FILM: War Of The Worlds (2005) (Continued). Great big tentacley things batle with small, well-groomed, perfect-toothed thing. 11.25 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Loadsa money! 11.30 FILM: California Man (1992) Starring Sean Astin, Brendan Fraser, Pauly Shore. Comedy about two Californian high-school students who discover a frozen Neolithic caveman. 12.55am Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: Rock ‘n’ Roll Hotel 1.40 Silverville 2.10 Economy Gastronomy 3.10 Heir Hunters 3.55 BBC News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Abi tells Ste that she is leaving with Daniel, but will she take baby Lucas or leave him with Ste? Um, what about baby Lucas’ other relatives? Get ‘em together and grapple Daniel to the ground! Yeah! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Bus Pass Bullfighter See highlights. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? The Watson family choose between Florida and Newcastle for their future home. 9.00 Big Brother Davina McCall announces the results of the latest eviction vote live into the Big Brother house. Plus highlights from the past 24 hours. Much screaming ensues. 10.00 The Kevin Bishop Show The impressionist presents a fast-paced sketch show featuring spoofs of celebrities. Like they’re not already spoofs themselves. 10.35 Big Brother The latest housemate to be evicted is interviewed by Davina McCall. 11.10 The Simpsons 11.35 Russell Brand’s Ponderland Comedian Russell Brand delivers his thoughts on the world around him. 12.10am 4Music Favourites: Calvin Harris 12.45 Inglourious Basterds: Movie Special 1.10 Big Brother: Live 3.55 Scrapheap Challenge 4.50 Freesports On 4 5.15 FIVB Beach Volleyball
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 Race World 10.00 Live Euro Tour Golf 12.00pm Rallyzone 12.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 LIVE Golf: Solheim Cup 2009 11.00 Golf Night 12.00am European Seniors Tour Golf 1.00 NFL - Total Access 2.00 Big League Weekend 3.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 NFL - Total Access 5.00 WWE Special
Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE Raw 9.00 WWE Special 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Race World 12.00pm WWE Special 1.00 WWE Raw 3.00 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 WWE Special 2.00 Tight Lines 3.00 Ocean Adventures 3.30 Gillette World Sport 4.00 Football League Weekend 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview
2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Brothers In Arms: Basra 10.30 FILM: Desperado (1995) 12.30am Road Wars (x2) 2.15 Inside... 3.05 Street Wars
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Real Hustle (x2) 8.30 Merlin (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Ideal (x2) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am We Are Klang 12.45 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 1.40 Ideal (x2) 2.40 Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Doctor. See highlights. 3.40 The Real Hustle (x2)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 BBC Proms 2009: Barenboim & West-Eastern Divan 9.45 Stiff At The BBC 10.45 If It Ain’t Stiff 12.15am Ian Dury: On My Life 1.15 Stiff At The BBC 2.15 BBC Proms 2009: Barenboim & West-Eastern Divan 5.30 Close
12.30pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 The Xtra Factor: Rewind 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) 11.25 Coronation Street (x2) 12.25am The Xtra Factor: Rewind
12.00pm My Uncle Silas (x2) 1.00 Heartbeat 2.05 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.10 Pie In The Sky 4.10 My Uncle Silas (x2) 5.15 Home To Roost 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Life 10.00 FILM: Crazy People (1990) 11.55 Flashpoint 12.50am Wycliffe
1.25pm Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.05 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Celebrity Wife Swap 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.10am Big Brother: Live
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: The Battle Of Britain (1969) 11.35 The Unseen Spike Milligan 12.40am FILM: The Battle Of Britain (1969)
2.00pm Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model: What The Divas Are Doing Now 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Army Wives 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 1.00am Living With Kimberly Stewart
1.00pm Mummy Autopsy 2.00 Great Planes 3.00 Hitler’s Gold 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Extreme Engineering 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 The Day After DDay 10.00 SAS: Special Forces Heroes 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How It’s Made (x2)
11.00am Mysterious Ways (x5) 4.00 FILM: Toxic Skies (2008) 6.00 FILM: The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad (1974) 8.00 FILM: Lost City Raiders (2008) 10.00 Medium 11.00 Heroes (x2) 1.00am FILM: Kaw (2007) 3.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho
8.45am The Producers (1968) 10.15 Giant (1956) 1.35pm Touch Of Evil (1958) 3.35 The War Lord (1965) 5.40 The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) 7.15 Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun (1969) 9.00 Shane (1953) 11.00 Giant (1956) 2.20am Touch Of Evil (1958)
10.40am Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 12.40pm The Movie Geek 1.10 Fire (1996) 3.10 Earth (1998) 5.00 Ride With The Devil (1999) 7.20 The Movie Geek 7.50 Control (2007) 10.00 American History X (1998) 12.00am Fargo (1996) 1.45 Control (2007) 3.50 Love Me If You Dare (2003)
11.00am Long Day’s Journey Into Night (1962) 2.20pm One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 4.20 Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) 6.10 Coach Carter (2005) 9.00 Kingdom Of Heaven (2005) 12.40am Cabin Fever (2002) 2.35 Close
7.20am Best Friends (1982) 9.15 Jailhouse Rock (1957) 11.05 Hooper (1978) 1.00pm The Gumball Rally (1976) 3.00 The Big Sleep (1946) 5.10 Funny Farm (1988) 7.05 Protocol (1984) 9.00 Manhunter (1986) 11.20 The Hand (1981) 1.20am Manhunter (1986) 3.20 The Hand (1981) 5.00 The Gumball Rally (1976)
3.40pm Maid Marian And Her Merry Men 4.20 My Family 5.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 FILM: Keeping The Faith (2000) 11.25 Jonathan Creek 12.45am The Vicar Of Dibley
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 South Park (x5) 11.30 The Sarah Silverman Programme 12.00am Edinburgh And Beyond
saturday 22 The X Factor ITV1, 7pm It’s back! And how better to make yourself stand out from the crowd baying for Simon, Cheryl, Dannii and Louis’ attention than to dress up as a chicken? Probably a bit muffled in there though; hadn’t really thought that one through, had you mister? Ho hum. Expect plenty of other zany bids for stardom, plus a bit of talent too.
The Cube ITV1, 8.30pm ITV1’s pulled out all the stops to embarrass the British public tonight. First The X Factor, now this new game show hosted by Pip Schofield. Contestants compete for £250,000; brave the Cube; a series of ‘deceptively simple’ tasks, yada yada. People will almost win – but not quite – and look bizarre on the way.
Wycliffe Day ITV3, 4.20pm It’s an entire day of non-stop Wycliffe! Whe-hey! The whitehaired stolid detective has staged a coup on ITV3 for the day, with eight hours of episodes only interrupted by that devil of an actor Jack Shepherd – Wycliffe himself – introducing each episode. It’s a rainy day bonanza gone mad.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Football Focus 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Formula 1: The European Grand Prix 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 FILM: Cool Runnings (1993) 4.35 Final Score 5.20 BBC News 5.30 Regional News And Weather 5.40 South East Today 5.50 As Seen On TV
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Animalia 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 Funky Fables 7.50 Eliot Kid 8.05 Wolverine And The X-Men 8.25 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 9.00 Skate Nation 10.00 Young Dracula 10.30 Athletics: World Championships 1.20pm FILM: Whale Rider (2002) 2.55 FILM: The Long Ships (1964) 5.00 Athletics: World Championships
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Countrywise 9.55 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.40 FILM: Cheyenne Autumn (1964) 1.35pm ITV News And Weather 1.40 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity 2.40 FILM: Smokey And The Bandit (1977) 4.25 Meridian News And Weather 4.40 ITV News And Weather 4.55 FILM: Back To The Future Part II (1989)
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 The Cooper Tyres British Formula 3 International Series 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Yo Gabba Gabba 9.25 Friends 10.00 V Festival: The Countdown 11.05 Friends 11.35 4Music Favourites: Calvin Harris 12.05pm Orange RockCorps 2009 With Sony Ericsson 12.25 Big Brother 1.25 Big Brother 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.05 Gok’s Fashion Fix 5.05 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Angels Of Jarm 7.10 Elmo’s World 7.35 Mio Mao 7.45 Hana’s Helpline 8.00 Olivia 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 What Makes Me Happy 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 10.30 The Gadget Show 11.30 Big, Bigger, Biggest 12.30pm FILM: Stacy’s Knights (1983) 2.20 FILM: 84 Charing Cross Road (1987) 4.10 Five News 4.20 FILM: Splash (1984) 6.20 The Guardian Drama. Nick is assigned to the case of a 15 year old who has accused her stepfather – a police officer – of rape. 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the fifth Ashes Test between England and Australia at the Brit Oval. 8.00 NCIS Drama series. During a training exercise, a marine’s parachute fails to open and he crashes into a parked car. The NCIS team heads to the scene and has to determine if the marine’s death was accidental or a murder. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. The killing of a teen singing sensation leads the CSIs to re-examine a 1950s murder case packed with scandal, mystery and intrigue. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. The team arrests a rapist who preys on women at speed-dating events. The case takes on a new complexity when the suspect’s newly wedded wife attempts suicide after testifying. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent American police drama. Goren and Eames suspect an imprisoned white supremacist is behind the shootings of a judge’s family. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The FBI Files 4.45 Rough Guide To Adventures 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.30 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.30 Gillette World Sport 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 7.00pm Gillette World Sport 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.45 Close
6.10 Walk On The Wild Side Series combining comedy with natural history footage. Meerkat Sir Alan looks for an apprentice, some Lizard Punks spend the bank holiday reliving their youth, and a Geordie anteater guides us through the complex world of ant cuisine. 6.40 Total Wipeout Richard Hammond hosts more crashes, smashes and hilarious mud splashes on the world’s most ridiculous and extreme obstacle course. 7.40 The National Lottery: Guesstimation Nick Knowles hosts as two families try to out-guess each other to win a dream holiday. So even though they both lose their pride, only one actually loses the game. 8.30 Outnumbered Semi-improvised sitcom. Chaos reigns in the Brockman household as six-year-old Karen denounces Satan and Ben gets on the wrong side of a no-nonsense referee. 9.00 Michael McIntyre: Live And Laughing Michael McIntyre performs his own stand-up show. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day All the goals and highlights from the day’s Premier League fixtures. 11.45 The Football League Show Extended highlights of the day’s best games from the Football League. 1.00am FILM: Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) 2.35 Weatherview 2.40 BBC News
8.10 BBC Proms 2009: Beethoven’s Fidelio A concert performance of Beethoven’s only opera, Fidelio, conducted by Daniel Barenboim, accompanied by a cast of international singers and the West-Eastern Divan Orchestra, formed of young Israeli and Arab musicians. The opera is a passionate protest against political injustice and a hymn of praise to the power of human love. Sung in German, this performance uses English narration written by the orchestra’s cofounder, the late Edward Said. Presenter and Beethoven enthusiast John Suchet is joined by some of the artists and special guests. 10.20 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the classic news quiz with Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. And some other people too. Not just them. 11.00 The Funny Side Of... Clive Anderson takes us through the evolution of a TV genre. Speaking in short sharp bursts. Much like this. You see what we mean? 12.00am The Edinburgh Festival Show Lauren Laverne presents from the Pleasance Courtyard in Edinburgh and takes a look at the pick of the Edinburgh Fringe and International Festival. 12.50 Inside F1 1.05 Season Ticket 1.35 FILM: Children Of The Revolution (1996) 3.10 FILM: Esma’s Secret
7.00 The X Factor See highlights. 8.30 The Cube See highlights. 9.30 FILM: The Constant Gardener (2005) Starring Ralph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz and Bill Nighy. Dramatic thriller. Quiet diplomat Justin Quayle finds his life turned upside down when his activist wife Tessa is murdered in Kenya. But as he starts to investigate her death, he finds himself drawn into the research she was working on before she was killed. Is her death linked to the underhand dealings of a giant pharmeceuticals company? And is Quayle putting himself in jeopardy by continuing his wife’s work? 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 FILM: The Constant Gardener (2005) Starring Ralph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz and Bill Nighy. Dramatic thriller. So dramatic it still manages to keep up the tension after the real news has just snapped you out of caring for fictional people. But – ho hum – it’s really that good. You’ll get straight back into the jeopardy and no mistake. And hopefully get some kind of resolution by the end. But we’re not making any promises. 12.05am FILM: The Pianist (2002) Oscar-winning World War II drama. 2.40 Holly & Fearne Go Dating 3.05 FILM: Imagining Argentina (2003) 4.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.10 V Festival 2009: Saturday Live Miquita Oliver and Steve Jones present live coverage of V Festival 2009 from Chelmsford. Performances come from Lily Allen and The Script. 6.40 Channel 4 News 7.10 ER Final series of the American drama set in the emergency room of Chicago’s busy General Hospital. Dr Carter makes a surprise visit to the ER in the hope of returning to work some shifts. Gates treats a patient who may have ingested a toxin while hunting for mushrooms. Listen up people! Pay attention to this one. 8.05 ER Final series of the American drama. Carter is confused by new procedures introduced since he last worked in the ER, but his experience and intution stand him in good stead. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 Jimmy Carr In Concert Award-winning comedian Jimmy Carr takes to the stage in front of a packed house at London’s Bloomsbury Theatre. Quips galore. 11.35 V Festival 2009: Saturday Highlights Miquita Oliver and Steve Jones present highlights of the first day of V Festival 2009. 1.15am Alan Carr: Chatty Man 2.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 2.55 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Postmodern Pastimes 4.15 Revelations: How Do You Know God Exists? 5.10 Scrapheap Challenge
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Race World 7.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 7.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.00 Football League Weekend 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 SummerSlam Preview 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.30 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 12.30am LIVE NASCAR 4.00 Max Power 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 SummerSlam Preview
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Super League 9.00 WWE Smackdown 11.00 WWE The Bottom Line 12.00pm WWE Special 1.00 Gillette World Sport 1.30 LIVE Golf: Solheim Cup 2009 11.00 Golf Night 12.00am European Seniors Tour Golf 1.00 SummerSlam Preview 1.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.30 WWE Smackdown 4.30 SummerSlam Preview 5.00 Rallyzone 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
2.00pm UK Border Force 3.00 WWE Smackdown 5.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Futurama (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 Justin Lee Collins: West End Star 10.00 Lie To Me (x2) 12.00am Antony Gormley’s One And Other 12.30 Bones
7.00pm Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Doctor 7.40 Merlin 8.30 Top Gear 9.30 FILM: Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement (2004) 11.15 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow 12.00am Family Guy 12.25 American Dad! 12.45 How Not To Live Your Life 1.15 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum
7.00pm Only Connect 7.30 FILM: Farewell, My Lovely (1945) 9.00 The Rules Of Film Noir 10.00 FILM: The Lady From Shanghai (1948) 11.25 FILM: The Big Combo (1955) 12.50am The Rules Of Film Noir 1.50 FILM: Force Of Evil (1948) 3.05 Only Connect
2.00pm The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2008 (x3) 5.00 The Xtra Factor: Winner’s Story 6.00 The Xtra Factor: Rewind 7.00 Superhuman: World’s Tallest Children 8.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 8.30 The Xtra Factor 9.30 Peter Andre: Going It Alone 11.05 FILM: The Pelican Brief (1993) 1.45am The X Factor
4.20pm Wycliffe 5.25 Jack Shepherd: Wycliffe And Me 5.30 Wycliffe 6.40 Jack Shepherd: Wycliffe And Me 6.45 Wycliffe 7.50 Jack Shepherd: Wycliffe And Me 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 Jack Shepherd: Wycliffe And Me 9.05 Wycliffe 10.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.15am Wycliffe 1.20 Upstairs, Downstairs
10.35am Heartland 11.35 Privileged 12.35pm Roswell 1.25 Young, Sexy And... Rich 2.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Reaper 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 The Loop 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Italian Job (2003) 11.10 Ricky Gervais: Fame 12.15am Big Brother: Live
12.35pm Grand Designs (x4) 4.45 Around The World In 80 Trades (x4) 9.00 Gerry’s Big Decision 10.00 Secret Millionaire Changed My Life 11.10 Undercover Boss 12.15am The World’s Greatest Stand-Up 1.20 Gerry’s Big Decision 2.15 Secret Millionaire Changed My Life 3.10 Undercover Boss 4.10 Close
12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 3.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 4.00 Nothing To Declare (x5) 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Medium (x4) 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 2.00 Boston Legal 3.00 Army Wives (x2)
12.00pm Time Warp (x12) 6.00 Mega Builders 7.00 Superships 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 Prison Boot Camp 10.00 Minutes From Disaster 11.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2) 12.00am How It’s Made (x2) 1.00 Prison Boot Camp 2.00 Minutes From Disaster 3.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2)
12.00pm Legend Of The Seeker 1.00 FILM: Hercules And The Lost Kingdom (1994) 3.00 FILM: The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad (1974) 5.00 Knight Rider 6.00 Legend Of The Seeker (x2) 8.00 Dollhouse (x4) 12.00am FILM: The Ferryman (2007) 2.00 FILM: Attack Of The Gryphon (2007)
10.30am The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 1.10pm Twelve O’Clock High (1949) 3.30 The Big Country (1958) 6.20 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 9.00 The Omen (1976) 11.00 Arabesque (1966) 12.50am The Man In The Gray Flannel Suit (1956) 3.30 The Movie Geek 4.00 Roman Holiday (1953)
9.00am Juno (2007) 10.45 The Air I Breathe (2007) 12.30pm Onegin (1999) 2.20 Mongol (2007) 4.30 Juno (2007) 6.10 The Air I Breathe (2007) 7.50 Shine A Light Special 10.00 Boys Don’t Cry (1999) 12.00am The Escapist (2001) 1.35 Onegin (1999) 3.25 Mongol (2007)
11.00am Green For Danger (1946) 1.00pm Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) 2.50 The Cat Returns (2002) 4.25 The Scarlet Pimpernel (1934) 6.20 The Core (2003) 9.00 The Full Monty (1997) 10.45 Donkey Punch (2008) 12.40am The House By The Cemetery (1981) 2.35 Close
9.10am Funny Farm (1988) 11.05 Protocol (1984) 1.00pm Marriage On The Rocks (1965) 3.00 Charro! (1969) 4.55 Mary Mary (1963) 7.25 Tall Man Riding (1955) 9.00 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 11.25 Diner (1982) 1.25am Cool Hand Luke (1967) 3.35 Superfly (1972) 5.00 Marriage On The Rocks (1965)
2.10pm The Vicar Of Dibley 3.00 Jam And Jerusalem 3.40 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 5.15 Jam And Jerusalem 5.55 The Vicar Of Dibley 6.50 Jam And Jerusalem 7.30 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.20 Victoria Wood Live At The Albert Hall 12.40am French And Saunders 1.20 Close Up
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Dara O’Briain Live At The Theatre Royal 10.15 Edinburgh And Beyond 11.15 Comedy Store (x2) 12.15am The World Stands Up
sunday 23 Top Gear BBC2, 7pm He’s all for the biking around London and getting rid of the bendy buses, but can Mayor Boris Johnson set a decent time as the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car? That’s the burning question. Along with whether Communists ever made a good car, which Jezza and co are looking into… Lucky you.
Gunrush ITV1, 9pm Timothy Spall stars in this drama about the shooting of a young girl by a teenage gang member. The grief eats into her parents, threatening to destroy their marriage to such an extent that her father decides to go undercover on the estate, hoping to find her killer. A drama full of desperation and brilliant acting.
Tough Guy Or Chicken? BBC3, 8pm It’s like a high school dare – if you don’t do these ridiculously hard things you’re a chicken. Is being called names really so bad? Apparently so, as five young Brit boys travel the world doing tough stuff. They start off in the Andes, becoming cowboys of Ecuador – fighting bulls who have those handy, horn things…
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 7.40 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Formula 1: The European Grand Prix 3.05 EastEnders 5.00 The Green Green Grass 5.30 Songs Of Praise
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 Thumb Wrestling Federation 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Gimme A Break 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.25 Diddy Dick And Dom 8.30 M.I. High 9.00 Undercover Dads 10.00 Athletics: World Championships 12.55pm FILM: Tara Road (2005) 2.30 Animal Park 3.00 Athletics: World Championships 5.35 Meerkat Manor
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Britain’s Favourite View 9.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.55 Wish You Were Here – Now And Then 12.25pm ITV News And Weather 12.30 Britain Does The Funniest Things 1.00 The X Factor 2.30 Columbo: Last Salute To The Commodore 4.30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 7.55 Brain Cell: BG Energy Challenge 8.25 The McCain Track And Field Show 8.55 Big Brother 10.00 Hollyoaks 12.35pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.40 Ugly Betty 2.35 V Festival 2009: T4 Highlights 3.55 Friends 4.30 The Simpsons 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 V Festival 2009: Sunday Live
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 What Makes Me Happy 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Snobs 10.30 Everybody Hates Chris 11.00 The Hotel Inspector 12.00pm RSPCA: On The Frontline 12.30 Animal Rescue Squad 12.45 FILM: Fun With Dick And Jane (1976) 2.35 FILM: Lord Jim (1965) 5.30 Five News 5.35 FILM: Police Academy 7: Mission To Moscow (1994)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Gillette World Sport 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 7.00pm Scottish Premier League 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 Scottish Premier League 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 2009 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009
6.05 Seaside Rescue Documentary series following the work of coastal rescue teams. 6.35 BBC News 6.50 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile Stuff that happens in the country and that. 8.00 Jam And Jerusalem Rural comedy set in the small town of Clatterford in Devon. Spike and Tash are finally ready to travel the world in their converted mobile library, but a confusion with the gears leads to a call-out for the emergency services, and Sal’s house ends up looking like a war zone. Full of BBC reporters? 9.00 Rivers With Griff Rhys Jones Griff Rhys Jones comes to the end of his adventure along the rivers which have influenced, nurtured and powered our lives. The last leg of his journey takes Griff to East Anglia. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 FILM: Stargate (1994) Starring Kurt Russell, James Spader, Jaye Davidson, Viveca Lindfors, Alexis Cruz, Mili Avital, John Diehl, Leon Rippy, Carlos Lauchu and Djimon Hounsou. Rousing sci-fi adventure about a portal that provides a gateway to a distant world. 12.15am Weatherview 12.20 Sign Zone: Seaside Rescue 12.50 Louis Theroux – The City Addicted To Crystal Meth 1.50 Holby City 2.50 The Great British Wedding 3.50 Monty Halls’ Great Escape 4.50 BBC News
6.00 Dragons’ Den Another set of businessmen and women pitch to the multimillionaire Dragons for that all-important financial backing. Samantha Gore returns with another addition to her crime prevention business and continued dreams of investment. Fellow Mancunian and classical pianist David Schofield is hoping his youthful take on the classics will get a Dragon to finance his future recordings. Also aiming to succeed is Ronan McCarthy from Surrey with his 21st-century take on the shoe polish booth. 7.00 Top Gear See highlights. 8.00 FILM: Catch Me If You Can (2002) Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen and Nathalie Baye. True crime story about teenage con man Frank Abagnale Jr – who cashed fake cheques worth over $2.5m while disguised as a pilot, a doctor and a lawyer – and the FBI agent who caught him. 10.15 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights of today’s matches. 11.05 FILM: Alpha Dog (2006) Starring Bruce Willis, Justin Timberlake, Emilie Hirsch, Jake Mazursky and Sharon Stone. Drug dealing, the FBI adn Holywood. 12.55am FILM: Searchers 2.0 (2007) 2.30 BBC News 4.50 The Super League Show
6.30 Meridian News; Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Lewis Lewis and Hathaway investigate the murder of a German history professor who had a fascination with local underworld boxing bouts. When they learn that one of his students was the latest winner of such a fight, they suspect the murder may have connections to the underworld. The underworlds of academia! Maybe, just maybe, other jealous students put the fella forward to knock some cleverness out so that they’d get better grades of the sliding scale. Could happen. Probably not. 9.00 Gunrush See highlights. 10.50 ITV News; Weather 11.05 Britain’s Love Story Second in a three-part series telling the story of the revolution in modern love, sex and marriage in Britain over the last 50 years. From the 1960s on, lovers openly defied restrictions of sex, class and race – but forbidden love could have dramatic consequences. Featuring the stories of Lord Brockett, whose family threatened to disown him for marrying a commoner, and Manchester housewife Josie Pickering, who left her husband for another woman. 12.05am Crossing Jordan 1.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.25 Kojak 2.20 Countrywise 2.45 Dog Rescue 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.35 Channel 4 News 7.05 Time Team The Time Team travel to the Cornish village of Padstow where locals have unearthed a wealth of discoveries hidden in a field overlooking a cove. Geophysics results suggest an Iron Age village may have once been located on the site, but archaeologists think the cove may have also been a port for Mediterranean traders. The team dig for evidence which will support the theory. Do they just dig in a port shape, maybe? 8.00 FILM: School Of Rock (2003) Starring Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White, Bertram Pascal, Lucas Papaelias and Chris Stack. Family comedy about a wannabe rock star in need of cash who poses as a supply teacher at an uptight private school and tries to form his class of preteens into a rock group. As a game, see who can do the best air guitar along with the soundtrack. 10.10 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 11.10 V Festival 2009: Sunday Highlights Miquita Oliver and Steve Jones present highlights of the second day of V Festival 2009. 1.00am 4 Music: 4Play: Steve Appleton 1.15 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Benefit Busters 4.55 Scrapheap Challenge 5.50 Sali Mali 5.55 Hoobs
7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the fifth and final Ashes Test between England and Australia at the Brit Oval. 8.00 FILM: North Sea Hijack (1980) Starring Roger Moore, James Mason, Anthony Perkins, Michael Parks, David Hedison and Jack Watson. Gripping adventure story about a group of terrorists who threaten to blow up two North Sea oil rigs by using a stolen ship as a floating bomb. A counter terrorist is hired by the British government to capture the vessel and bring the villains to justice. As a game, pick a lead foreign character each and count how many times their accent wavers. The one with the most variations wins. 10.05 FILM: Out For A Kill (2003) Starring Steven Seagal, Michelle Goh and Corey Johnson. Action thriller. When an archaeologist uncovers a drug-smuggling ring, he finds himself framed by the enraged Chinese mafia and ends up in prison. Upon his release, he has only one thing on his mind – revenge. And maybe beer. Mostly revenge though. 11.45 Lockdown Gritty documentary on America’s most dangerous prisons. 12.50am ITU Triathlon 1.45 Asian X Games 2.35 2008 Summer X Games 3.20 Boxing Classic 3.50 Boxing USA 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Cricket: The Ashes 2009 8.00 Tri-Nations Rugby Union 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Football League: Championship 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.30 SummerSlam Preview 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 SummerSlam Preview 10.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am SummerSlam Preview 1.00 Super League 3.00 Close
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 SummerSlam Preview 7.30 WWE Special 8.30 SummerSlam Preview 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 SummerSlam Preview 11.30 WWE Special 12.30pm LIVE Scottish Premier League 3.00 SummerSlam Preview 3.30 LIVE Golf: Solheim Cup 2009 11.30 Golf Night 12.30am European Seniors Tour Golf 1.30 Scottish Premier League 2.30 Close
12.00pm SummerSlam Preview 12.30 Oops TV 1.00 It’s Me Or The Dog USA 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x4) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons (x6) 9.00 House 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Justin Lee Collins: West End Star 12.00am Ross Kemp On Gangs: Liverpool
7.00pm Formula 1: The European Grand Prix 8.00 Tough Guy Or Chicken? See highlights. 9.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 10.00 Family Guy 10.20 American Dad! 10.45 My Big Decision 11.40 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 12.40am Tough Guy Or Chicken? 1.40 My Big Decision
7.00pm The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency 8.00 Wainwright’s Walks 8.30 Fossil Detectives 9.00 FILM: Build My Gallows High (1947) 10.35 The Rules Of Film Noir 11.30 FILM: Stranger On The Third Floor (1940) 12.35am Stiff At The BBC 1.35 If It Ain’t Stiff 3.05 The Rules Of Film Noir 5.30 Close
2.30pm The Xtra Factor 3.30 Coronation Street Uncut 4.00 Peter Andre: The Hot Desk 4.20 FILM: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (2005) 6.30 The X Factor 8.00 The Xtra Factor 9.00 FILM: Sister Act (1992) 11.00 FILM: Miss Congeniality 2: Armed And Fabulous (2005) 1.20am Entourage
4.20pm Wycliffe 5.25 Jack Shepherd: Wycliffe And Me 5.30 Wycliffe 6.35 Wycliffe 7.45 Jack Shepherd: Wycliffe And Me 7.50 Wycliffe 8.55 Jack Shepherd: Wycliffe And Me 9.00 Wycliffe 10.40 Jack Shepherd: Wycliffe And Me 10.45 Wycliffe 11.50 FILM: Damage (1992) 1.55am Days Of Majesty (x2)
8.40am Young, Sexy And... Cookin’ 9.40 Beauty And The Geek 10.35 Desperate Housewives (x5) 3.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 4.00 Heartland 5.00 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 Privileged 8.00 One Tree Hill 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 FILM: Shaft (2000) 12.05am Big Brother: Live
1.20pm Scrapheap Challenge 2.25 How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 5.15 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 Teenagers Fighting Cancer 11.10 Father Ted 11.40 Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.15am TV Heaven, Telly Hell 12.50 The Secret Millionaire
11.00am Will And Grace (x2) 12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Four Weddings 4.00 Ghost Whisperer (x5) 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 The Real Housewives Of Orange County
1.00pm Mega Builders 2.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 3.00 How It’s Made (x2) 4.00 Dinosaur Planet 5.00 Weird Creatures With Nick Baker 6.00 Mythbusters 7.00 Swamp Loggers 8.00 Time Warp (x2) 9.00 Extreme Bodies 10.00 I Was Bitten 11.00 SAS: Special Forces Heroes 12.00am How It’s Made (x2)
2.40pm Legend Of The Seeker: The Making Of A Legend 3.10 FILM: Odysseus And The Isle Of Mists (2007) 5.00 Legend Of The Seeker (x2) 7.00 Knight Rider 8.00 Medium 9.00 FILM: Flu Birds (2008) 10.40 FILM: Lost City Raiders (2008) 12.40am FILM: UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine (2006)
11.15am Rooster Cogburn (1975) 1.05pm Sweet Charity (1969) 3.30 Sink The Bismarck! (1960) 5.10 Father Goose (1964) 7.10 Les Miserables (1935) 9.00 Sink The Bismarck! (1960) 10.40 Bandolero! (1968) 12.40am The Collector (1965) 2.30 A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
11.15am The Top 10 Show 11.30 McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 1.35pm Girlfight (2000) 3.30 Sicko (2007) 5.40 Cradle Will Rock (1999) 8.00 Girlfight (2000) 10.00 The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007) 12.45am Girl 6 (1996)
11.00am A Kid For Two Farthings (1955) 1.00pm Catch That Kid (2004) 2.45 Laura (1944) 4.30 Tales From Earthsea (2007) 6.40 Batman Forever (1995) 9.00 Domino (2005) 11.25 Isolation (2005) 1.15am The Hills Have Eyes (2006) Freaky hills.
9.00am Mary Mary (1963) 11.25 Tall Man Riding (1955) 1.00pm Adam’s Rib (1949) 3.00 The Five Pennies (1959) 5.20 Which Way To The Front? (1970) 7.10 Crazy In Love (1992) 9.00 Private Benjamin (1980) 11.15 The Roman Spring Of Mrs Stone (1961) 1.20am Private Benjamin (1980)
1.25pm Jam And Jerusalem 2.05 The Vicar Of Dibley 3.20 Jam And Jerusalem 4.00 The Vicar Of Dibley 5.15 Jam And Jerusalem 5.55 The Vicar Of Dibley 7.10 Jam And Jerusalem 7.50 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.00 Victoria Wood Live At The Albert Hall 11.20 Only Fools And Horses 1.00am French And Saunders
12.00pm Two And A Half Men (x18) 9.00 South Park: The Seven Deadly Sins (x4) 11.00 Dara O’Briain Live At The Theatre Royal 12.15am Scrubs 12.45 Rules Of Engagement 1.15 The Office: An American Workplace 1.45 South Park: The Seven Deadly Sins (x4) 3.45 Two And A Half Men
monday 24 The Gadget Show Five, 8pm It’s all about ecological transport tonight, with Jason and Suzi going head to head in a dash across London on the latest in cycling technology. Wonder what that is? Plus – it’s gotta be from the future – Ortis test drives a French car that runs on air. Can you hear Jeremy Clarkson’s head exploding at the very concept?
Future Of Food BBC2, 9pm George Alagiah travels the world, from struggling farmers in Kent to dieticians in India to find out what it is we’re all doing to put the world in food peril. Why are people still dying after decades of food aid? Why are Kenyan farmers shipping tonnes of veg to the UK? And what are Oxfam and Sainsbury’s gonna do about it?
Rain BBC4, 10.30pm It’s a national cliché but true – we do like to talk about the rain. So there’s a lot to cover in this one hour weather indulgence, from the true shape of a raindrop through to the Victorians’ belief they could control the rain. Includes a look to the future and the wild rain we’re all heading towards. Yikes.
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Saints And Scroungers 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Scoop 3.55 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Bang Goes The Theory Jem Stansfield attempts to defeat the US Navy’s latest weapon with no more than some foam and a crash helmet. 8.00 EastEnders Can Minty tell Garry the truth about Dawn? 8.30 Panorama Panorama reports on the frail and elderly people living in sheltered housing with a residential warden, but the warden is being taken away. Up and down the country, old people have been taking to the streets in protest. 9.00 Can You Bank On Me? Documentary thingy. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Would I Lie To You? Host Rob Brydon joins captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack for the comedy panel show all about truths and lies 11.05 FILM: The Life And Death Of Peter Sellers (2004) Starring Geoffrey Rush, Charlize Theron, John Lithgow. Award-winning film documenting Peter Sellers’ rise from popular BBC radio performer to one of the most gifted comedic actors. 1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: Bang Goes The Theory 1.35 Desperate Romantics 2.35 Gonzo: The Life And Work Of Dr Hunter S Thompson 4.05 Taking The Flak 4.35 BBC News
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 The Large Family 7.20 Tellytales 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Eliot Kid 9.35 League Of Super Evil 9.45 ChuckleVision 10.00 Horrible Histories 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 The Flintstones 11.25 FILM: Bell Bottom George (1943) 1.00pm Living In The Sun 2.30 Animal Park 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Trust Me I’m A Dealer Antiques expert Paul Martin helps members of the public make a decent return on their savings. Brother and sister Shazia Rahman and Kash Masood hope Paul can double their savings of £1,500 to pay for a surpise holiday for their parents. 7.00 A Garden In Snowdonia A year in the life of Bodnant Garden in Wales. With visitor numbers in decline, those who live and work at the property are on a mission to transform this spectacular garden. Make it an adventure playground. Please. Everyone’s made them ‘safe’ and taken them away elsewhere. 7.30 Saving The Decade Money stuff. 8.00 University Challenge Jeremy Paxman asks the questions as two teams of students battle it out. 8.30 Caribbean Food Made Easy Yummy scrummy recipes that’ll make you wish you could afford a holiday. 9.00 Future Of Food See highlights. 10.00 Mock The Week At the halfway point, Dara O Briain presents a special show featuring unseen material and favourite bits. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed police drama. At the newspaper, Gus has suspicions about Scott’s story. 12.20am BBC News
6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.45 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 The Inbetweeners’ Postcard From T4 On The Beach 10.15 4Music Favourites: Black Eyed Peas 10.45 Diversity’s Postcard From T4 On The Beach 10.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Proud Parents 12.45 10 Years Younger: The Challenge 1.40 FILM: Trouble In The Glen (1954) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Lydia finds her relationship with Sarah is getting harder. Darren and Cindy plot to take over The Dog. Mwa-ha-ha. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Prince John: The Windsors’ Tragic Secret Documentary about Prince John, one of the most mysterious members of the Royal Family. John was born in 1904, the youngest of George V’s children. Diagnosed as epileptic, he died in 1919 after a particularly severe seizure. Had he lived he would have been the present Queen’s uncle. 9.00 On Tour With The Queen On the 60th anniversary of the Commonwealth, actor, playwright and second generation immigrant Kwame Kwei-Armah retraces the Queen’s 1953 journey around the Colonies. In this episode, Kwame visits Fiji, Sri Lanka and Uganda. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the last 24 hours in the BB house. 11.10 Wife Swap USA US version of the series in which families swap matriarchs for two weeks. The Myers, a family of ghost hunters, exchange mothers with traditional Kentucky family the Suttons. 12.10am Wakestock Sports Show 12.45 Big Brother: Live 4.00 FILM: Incident In A Small Town (1993) 5.30 The Hoobs (x2)
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Lemur Island 3.10 Zoo Days 3.15 FILM: Love Finds A Home (2009) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 7.00pm Netbusters 7.30 LIVE: Carling Cup Football 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30am Carling Cup Football 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series in which Michaela Strachan scours the country to find Britain’s most devoted animal guardians. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the fifth and final Ashes Test between England and Australia at the Brit Oval. 8.00 The Gadget Show See highlights. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi transforms failing hotels across the UK. The hotel inspector checks in to Liz and Michael’s guesthouse in the Swiss Alps. Okay, not the UK. The British couple emigrated a year ago – but their hopes of a restful retirement have been destroyed by an avalanche of work. A retirement business? That’s gotta be work. The clue’s in the name. 10.00 FILM: The Reaping (2007) Starring Hilary Swank, Stephen Rea, David Morrissey. Chiller about an investigator with a specialisation in debunking religious phenomena who is sent to look into reports that a small town in Louisiana is suffering the effects of the biblical plagues. 12.05am Most Evil 1.05 NASCAR Sprint Cup 2.00 Race And Rally UK 2.50 Motorsport Mundial 3.15 IndyCar 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 HouseBusters
6.00am Super League 8.00 Ford Football Special 9.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 10.00 Scottish Premier League 11.00 Golf: Solheim Cup 2009 2.00pm Golf Night 3.00 Scottish Premier League 4.00 Ford Football Special 5.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 6.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 Motor Sport 7.30 LIVE: Elite League Speedway 9.30 Indy Car Series 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 2009 2.00 Poker 3.30 Showjumping 4.30 Close
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Val’s plan to win back Pollard gathers pace. 7.30 Coronation Street David takes his revenge upon Jason. Rita has a proposition for Ramsay. Eileen makes an enemy of Jesse’s parrot. Don’t go crossing parrots – they’ll never tell ye where the gold is then. 8.00 Airline Docusoap. An irate passenger threatens to call Tony Blair when she is asked to pay an excess baggage charge. What year is she in? 8.30 Coronation Street David is shocked by Gary’s return. Claire’s plans for a seductive evening are thwarted by Graeme. Nice one. 9.00 Monday Monday Comedy drama set in the head office of a struggling supermarket chain. Sally and Steven’s new relationship is threatened both by the unexpected arrival of Sally’s ex-fiance and some shocking news from Alyson. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Rambo: First Blood (1982) Starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Brian Dennehy, David Caruso. Fast-paced action adventure. Brooding Vietnam veteran John Rambo is pushed too far by the sheriff of a small American town. Grr. 12.20am Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x2) 2.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3 8.00am WWE The Bottom Line 9.00 Tennis: ATP Masters Cincinnati 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Super League 2.00 Tennis: ATP Masters Cincinnati 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 Showjumping 7.00 Polo 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
2.00pm UK Border Force 3.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Mario And Nini: A Childhood Under Threat 11.00 Serial Killers On The Loose 12.30am Road Wars
7.00pm Merlin 7.45 The Real Hustle 8.00 Bizarre ER 8.30 Underage And Pregnant 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 We Are Klang 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Underage And Pregnant 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 My Big Decision 1.40 The Autistic Me 2.40 Bizarre ER
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Legends: Roy Orbison – The ‘Big O’ In Britain 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Wallander 10.30 Rain. See highlights. 11.30 Snow 12.30am Winds 1.30 Only Connect 2.00 Style On Trial 3.00 Style On Trial
12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 The Cube 9.00 FILM: The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) 11.25 Coronation Street (x2) 12.25am Celebrity Juice (x2) 1.30 Emmerdale
12.00pm My Uncle Silas (x2) 1.00 Heartbeat 2.05 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 My Uncle Silas (x2) 5.15 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 Super Sleuths 10.00 Taggart 11.00 The Bill: Reaching Out 12.05am FILM: Damage (1992)
1.55pm Big Brother 3.05 Desperate Housewives 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Shameless 11.05 FILM: Shaft (2000) 1.10am Big Brother: Live
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Property Snakes And Ladders 10.00 The Home Show 11.10 A Million Pound Place In The Sun 12.15am Property Snakes And Ladders
12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 9.00 Four Weddings 10.00 Criminal Minds (x2) 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
3.00pm Al Murray’s Road To Berlin (x2) 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Extreme Engineering 6.00 Deadliest Catch: Lobstermen 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Mythbusters 10.00 American Chopper 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How It’s Made (x2) 1.00 Mythbusters
11.00am Thunderbirds (x5) 4.30 FILM: Swarm (2007) 6.20 FILM: Bone Eater (2007) 8.00 FILM: Komodo Vs Cobra (2005) 9.50 Medium 10.50 FILM: Street Fighter (1994) 12.50am FILM: Abominable (2006) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho
10.10am Broken Lance (1954) 11.50 Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 2.00pm Stalag 17 (1953) 4.05 Notorious (1946) 5.50 War Of The Worlds (1953) 7.20 Broken Lance (1954) 9.00 Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 11.10 The Lost Weekend (1945) 1.00am Notorious (1946)
12.00pm The Kite Runner (2007) 2.10 Tube Tales (1999) 3.40 Mumford (1999) 5.40 Year Of The Dog (2007) 7.20 There Will Be Blood (2007) 10.00 Ten Canoes (2006) 11.35 American History X (1998) 1.35am Breathtaking (2000) 3.25 Tube Tales (1999)
11.00am The Man In Grey (1943) 12.50pm The Human Jungle (1954) 3.00 The Good Die Young (1954) 4.50 Above Us The Waves (1956) 6.55 Guess Who (2005) 9.00 How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days (2003) 11.10 Lake Placid (1999) 12.50am Silent Hill (2006)
7.15am The Five Pennies (1959) 9.20 Which Way To The Front? (1970) 11.10 Crazy In Love (1992) 1.00pm Easter Parade (1948) 3.00 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 5.00 Five Days One Summer (1983) 6.55 My Giant (1998) 9.00 Mad City (1997) 11.20 Fathers’ Day (1997) 1.15am Mad City (1997)
2.20pm Yes, Prime Minister 3.00 Only Fools And Horses 3.40 Sorry! 4.20 My Family 5.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.40 One Foot In The Algarve 12.40am French And Saunders
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x3)
Published on Aug 18, 2009
Published on Aug 18, 2009
Exquisite: A stylish and sumptuous food at the restaurant at drakes. Artwave 2009: Plane your visits to the open houses & much more…