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7/11/08

8:26 AM

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the city magazine for brighton www.latest7.co.uk

★ jobs ★ cars ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 15–21 July 2008

FREE WEEKLY

late night tales director chris waitt on the making of a sexual failure

ready for a fight? math-rock heroes battles at concorde 2 seafront salivation santiago serves up a tongue-tastic treat

beach boy win tickets to see norman cook blast the beat into brighton page 9

THAI GASTROBAR

My back feels so much better after visiting Revitalise

Brighton & Hove Food & Drink Festival 2008

Amanda Neil, Paramedic

More than 50 top acts confirmed, including New Young Pony Club and Four Tet. Tickets are available now via www.loopbrighton.com and Resident and Rounder record shops.

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at

Tel: 01273 738389 86 Church Rd, Hove BN3 2EB

www.revitalise-u.com health@revitalise-u.com

Supported by Latest 7 call Marie on 01273 818150 for more details


002_LS381_TreatmentRooms

7/8/08

3:19 PM

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003_LS381_contents

7/11/08

12:57 PM

Page 1

Contents

Welcome

★ latest jobs 4

★ latest listings 19–40

4 Time to take on a new challenge?

19 Reviews and listings index

It's going to be one of the best gigs of the (Indian) summer – and we are offering the chance to win tickets. Big Beach Boutique 4, Fatboy Slim's homecoming gig for his Brighton and Hove fans, takes place on Saturday 27 September. Find out if his live act is as good as ever in Jo Brooks' review in Celeb City (p9), where you can learn how to enter our competition. Things are happening at Komedia – the much-loved venue has a new chief executive, new ticketing system and is getting ready to open a new venue. Andrew has the lowdown on page 21. Nick Aldwinckle learned why math-rock band Battles hate being called that – so watch your tongue at their gig tonight (Tues 15 July) at the Concorde 2 (p25). We've heard about some developments that might not be going ahead, such as the King Alfred – but there are stacks of other fantastic schemes still moving on in the city. Hear the latest on the i360, London Road development and others in news (p11). What do Jordan and Boris Johnson have in common? Find out on Phil Mills' news page (p13). Victoria Nangle has been tasting a selection of Edinburgh previews for your delectation – turn to her comedy column on page 20 if you want to know who's going to be hot this year and who needs a bit more preparation. Andrew Kay has discovered a great new Spanish restaurant on the seafront (p16), where he enjoyed mouth-watering Spanish black pudding followed by Catalan cream. You can bet Sandra won't be going there; in this week's column about life as a model she describes how she's on a permanent diet (p15). On the same page, Zara Baker looks at healthy ways to improve your eating patterns and lose weight. What kind of lover are you? Astral Angi can tell you (p10) – is it true that Geminis are ambidextrous? Maybe film director Chris Waitt could do with the advice; he talks about his sexual failures in film (p23). In their Cheeky column, also on page 10, Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon delve into the legend of the Grawlock beast of Hove. Poor Dani's been having panic attacks again but has drawn some comfort from watching the tennis (p8) and Katie is finding it hard to beat the inexorable attraction of letting YouTube keep her up all night. Music editor Jeff Hemmings gives his views on news offerings from Primal Scream, Seth Lakeman and Dirty Pretty Things on page 27. Portslade are still hogging the top of the music chart with their take on Blur's Girls and Boys (p27) – visit our website www.latest7.co.uk to hear it or to help get your favourite local song into the top ten.

★ latest upfront 6–10

Reviews of all the best and not-so-best entertainment offerings

20 Comedy 6 Social diary: Velvet opens up a new store and Champneys unveil a new pamper palace, plus lots of chances to win stuff!

7 Katie abandons sleep for obsession

It’s Edinburgh preview time

20 Books A review of non-fiction works

21 Stage

13

06

Three Tall Women by Edward Albee at the New Venture, plus listings

8 Eminemmylou and Dani 9 Celeb city: win tickets to Norm’s party 10 Bare cheek: Mike has all the answers

22 Film Chris Waitt discusses airing his sexual failures on film. Listings and reviews

★ latest news 11–14

24 Art

11 Big story: why developers continue to

24 Kids and Events

invest in Brighton as plans continue for the i360 and Open Market

12 News round up of the week 13 Phil Mills celebrates the successes of the local police, while Jordan is discovering her artistic talent

Impure Art, the art of erotica, plus all the listings Get yourself down to Kemp Town Village for some late night shopping, and Eastbourne is getting extreme Brighton  Latest Download Chart

TOP

40

25 Music

14 Letters and sport

★ latest lifestyle 15–17 15 Health: how to eat for energy and lose weight in the process

15 Model City: we’re all on a diet, but is it the right one?

Battles talk maths ahead of their Concorde 2 gig, plus all the news, previews and reviews

29 Clubs and music listings Here’s where the weekend begins, well any night of the week really – what with you living in Brighton like…

30 Gay

16 Food: Andrew Kay gets a taste of hot Mexican perfection at Santiago

17 Hot list: your guide to the tastiest eating places in the city

Will Tells, news and all the listings

32 Television Welcome back Smallville, plus Dani’s take on the Cheeky Girls’ new show. Why, oh why?

23

31

16 26  01273

818150

 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Editor Rachel Pegg

Business Director Angi Mariani

Assistant Editor Zara Baker

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Website Manager Paul Burgess

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Art Director Stephen King

Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle

Production Manager Neil Ive

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Dani Winch

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards

Designers Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Faye Perriam Steve Sawyer

Administration Claire Peerless Sara Henfridsson

Sub Editors Joe Curtin Melina Greenfield Tristan Parker

Advertising Sales Lucy Kamper Marie Viviani

33

Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor latest 7 3


004_LS381_jobads

7/9/08

11:42 AM

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latest

jobs

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

Property Recruitment Specialists

Your business is only as good as the staff you employ… Let us help your business succeed

“Cannot fault! Fully aware of my needs and understanding of my wants in a candidate. Efficient and effective” Gail Scannell

(Branch Manager, Leaders)

“Excellent understanding of our company and role” Charles Thacker

CAD Draughtsperson, CAD Designer An exciting career opportunity has arisen at the UK’s most adventurous and cutting edge staircase company for an experienced CAD draughtsperson / designer. The successful applicant will join our small team in our friendly office in Glynde (15mins train from Brighton) We are looking for someone who: • Can work from our estimating design team’s information and surveys to produce accurate working drawings of High Quality Internal Spiral, Helical, and straight staircases • Has the ability to work on several projects at any one time • Is a competent user of Bentley Microstation or can adapt to this drawing programme • Is able to develop concepts into drawing details • Is a confident pro active character with good communication skills • 3D visualisation experience an advantage

(Director, Batchellor Thacker)

Please send CV to Lewes Design Contracts Ltd, The Mill, Glynde, Lewes, BN8 6SS and mark it Draughtsperson.

to maximize your business call us now on:

www.spiralstairs.co.uk

0845 130 1188 fax 0845 130 1189

4 latest jobs

email enquiries@lca-jobs.com

web www.lca-jobs.com

hundreds of jobs every week


005_LS381_Tempest

11/7/08

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006_LS381_Diary/Comps

7/10/08

1:48 PM

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LATESTDIARY

COMPETITIONS

latestdiary

IN IT TO WIN IT

With Tim Richardson

Elvis and the circus are in town!

New Velvet store in Hove

Buswell, son

On Thursday 3 July, Brighton success story Velvet opened their fourth shop, a new furniture and home accessories showroom on Church Road, Hove in the old Gamleys toy shop. Velvet, Brighton and Hove Independent Retailer of the Year 2007, are very excited about the new store. The old Gamleys is one of the best-sized stores in Hove and enables them to show a huge range of furniture from their website. With two existing stores in Brighton and a clothing and gift store in Hove, Velvet are already renowned for their extensive range of furniture, lighting, mirrors and accessories for the home. At the new shop you will find everything you would expect from a lifestyle boutique as diverse as Velvet. You will find the new store at 66-68 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FP.

Back row: Mike Harrop, Lorna Draper, Nick Harrop, Emma Harrop and Iris Draper. Front row: Iris Draper and George Draper

Be a clown for a day at Zippos Circus, plus VIP show tickets Calling all children aged five to 14! Fancy being a clown for a day? Well now you can with Zippos Circus, which comes to Hove Lawns in August for two weeks only. All you have to do is enter our simple competition. The winner’s family will watch as he or she takes part in the performance with Zippos’ own troupe of hilarious circus buffoons. It’s a unique prize from Zippos Circus, open to ages five to 14. The winner gets: An appearance in clown make-up (provided by the circus) in the circus ring at Zippos during a performance, coaching from members of Zippos’ professional clown group, a clown’s red nose to keep, five VIP seats for Zippos Circus and candy floss and popcorn for all five guests! But be warned: if you’re the winner, dress for mess! There are five second prizes of family tickets (each for two adults and two children) for Zippos Circus up for grabs. Just tell us: What colour is a traditional clown nose? a. Pink b. Red c. Orange. See below for entry details.

Elvis is in the Building show tickets

Vicky Horrocks, Emma Faupel, Jenni Buswell, Frances Roughton and Katherine Wilson

James Wiltshire (Freemasons) and Aysha Maybury (Clinic Nine)

New Town & City Spa On Thursday 3 July, Champneys opened their sixth Town & City Spa, following the success of existing locations in Tunbridge Wells, Enfield, St Albans, Chichester and Guildford. With increased demand for spa treatments to help relax and de-stress, Brighton is the perfect spot and was an ideal opportunity for Champneys to bring their spa philosophy and expertise to the high street. With seven luxury treatment rooms there’s plenty on the spa menu to pamper mind and body. Champneys provide the perfect environment whether you have a moment in your lunch hour, an hour to de-stress or perhaps an afternoon to completely relax. Visit www.champneys.com for everything that Champneys have to offer. Ted Maybank and Ray Williams

Karen Bingham (Champneys Area Sales Manager), Jayne Ralph and Rebecca Healey (Champneys Marketing Manager)

Elvis lives and is in the building for a special new show at the Theatre Royal on 7 August and we have a pair of tickets to give away to a lucky reader. Elvis is in the Building has it all – a score that includes all of Elvis’ millionselling hits, Paul Lillie “the UK’s number one Elvis impersonator” according to the Guardian newspaper, an 11-piece band, dancing girls and costumes which dazzle as brightly as one of the King’s famed Vegas stage shows. Like Elvis, the star of this new show is a singer and guitarist. And, with guitar slung over his cat-suited shoulder, goes where the audience of Elvis devotees take him. A repertoire of approaching 150 Elvis songs means the King’s famed on-stage spontaneity is recaptured in Elvis is in the Building. The spectacular stage show is a Mike Taylor production, who also produces Thank You for the Music and the Magic of Motown. To win a pair of tickets to this exciting new production, simply answer the following question: Elvis is in the Building draws from a repertoire of how many hit songs? See below for entry details.

NUMB DVD Scanbox Entertainment release the surprisingly funny and uplifting NUMB on DVD next Monday and we have two copies up for grabs. Matthew Perry proves there’s more to him than Chandler in Friends (who’d have thought it?) and stars alongside Lynn Collins (The Number 23). The film follows the life of a love-struck Hollywood screenwriter who suffers from an disorder that makes chronic depression look like a weekend in Disneyland. Don’t miss out on this independent black comedy that has plenty of romance thrown into the mix! For a chance to win, just tell us: Which Friends character did Chandler marry in the hit show? a. Janice b. Monica c. Rachel See below for entry details. Entrants must be aged 15 or over.

To be in with a chance of winning, email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the title of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email, along with your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 28 July 2008. Champneys staff 6 latest 7


007_LS381_Katie/xword

7/9/08

12:22 PM

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KATIE’SCOLUMN

See more at latest7.co.uk

What Katie did Katie is getting drawn into a night-time cult via an addiction to YouTube

Lady midnight I am just going to watch just one last YouTube video of Chris Fountain in Dancing on Ice, and then I’ll go to sleep. ‘Time Warp‘ it is. “It’s astounding, time is fleeting/madness takes its toll.“ Chris curves his body into a ‘Time Warp‘ boogie, his shiny polyester shirt glinting as he shimmys his hips across the frozen lake. As my watch glides towards 4am he lifts his partner off the ice, her legs split open, his head between them. I would love to meet that boy.

“Johnny Depp’s saying he met him once, as he smoked a roll-up from his kitchen window” I click down the other ‘related’ offerings until my mouse hovers over a Chris Fountain tribute video. Images of Chris, in Tshirts, in vests, in bed, in love. There’s Chris on a beach in sunglasses, in a suit and tie holding a

microphone stand, on a blue sunlounger with his top off. Again. All sexy and blonde and young and muscled. Now I’m bored. 5am has passed, it would be nice to be asleep. I remember Leonard Cohen’s ‘Lady Midnight‘ and tap it into the search box, rifling through the videos to find it. From Cohen to Dylan – flicking through his cards for ‘Subterranean Homesick Blues‘ – until I’m watching Hendrix via ‘Like a Rolling Stone‘. Ginsberg’s reading Howl on some scratchy recording, and Johnny Depp’s saying he met him once, a dream come true, as he smoked a roll-up from his kitchen window. Johnny on Ginsberg. Johnny on Kate. Kate pictured with Johnny, then Doherty, then Jamie. Johnny on Paradis. Johnny in Vanessa on Ginsberg up Kate via Jamie. Paradis is singing ‘Joe Le taxi‘ as the eighties start to take their turn. The videos follow one another in an endless stream of time wasting. There will never be sleep. The insomniac vision continues as the clock hits 6am. I reach for the keyboard again and again and I can’t turn it off. The YouTube drug. The quality gets worse as I get more desperate for a fix. Soon I’ll watch anything just to keep my eyes stimulated with the continuous flicker. I can’t resist it. Although I’m doomed to go on consuming it until the sun starts to rise; I call in sick, I lose my friends, turn up to my job looking drawn and pasty. An underground cult is slowly consuming me. Just one last video of Chris Fountain – then I promise I will sleep.

 Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: letters@thelatest.co.uk

latestcrossword Cryptic 152 ACROSS 1 Business with land split by severe dismay (13) 7 Criminal hides in Hamburg larder (7) 9 It's left to bird and river animal (5) 10 Royal Highness with erotic form of expression (8) 11 Start to regret being faithful (4) 13 East African tribal leaders in attempt at agreement (6) 15 Company parrot turned into meat slice (6) 18 Thick string makes eggs soft inside (4) 19 Substance Michael makes with carbon (8) 22 A bit of quiet, you hear! (5) 23 Blotchy model crazy about the races (7) 24 Irreverent spectres in fluid arrangement (13)

solutions on page 30

Quick 152 DOWN 1 Animal with naked middle in performance (7) 2 Patient girl from Kent area holds up railmen (5) 3 Odd lot covering Salvationist payment office (8) 4 Pivot to make crude signature in beer (4) 5 I am ethical? Not at all (7) 6 Cool courage at no time disturbed (5) 8 Downfall of one in hurry (4) 12 Dog and cat I'm overbearing about (8) 14 Newspaper's former journalists? (7) 16 Marshy? Pull Ada out (7) 17 Pretend to be quiet in the morning (4) 18 Be swift and quiet during break-in (5) 20 Creature one carves open for Mohammedan follower (5) 21 Valley garden redesigned (4)

ACROSS 1 Sausages in batter (4-2-3-4) 7 Gush back (7) 9 Come in (5) 10 Overbearing (8) 11 Over-hasty (4) 13 Octave (6) 15 Attending servant (6) 18 Make reservation (4) 19 Geniality (8) 22 Moulded unwrought metal (5) 23 Long wooden pin (7) 24 Wickedness (13)

DOWN 1 Raised level bank (7) 2 Rage (5) 3 Water (8) 4 Level (4) 5 Reject (7) 6 Soil (5) 8 Eagle (4) 12 Hairlessness (8) 14 American state (7) 16 Consequences (7) 17 Filth (4) 18 Existence (5) 20 Raise (5) 21 Eye infection (4)

latest 7 7


008_LS381_angi/dani

7/10/08

2:25 PM

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RHYME

EMOTIONS

Eminemmylou Hi, I’m Eminemmylou, throwin’ lyrics at you. This week with Dolly Parton I'll Oil Wells Love You I met a man in Texas and oh, he was so fine And I said to myself, self, I’m gonna make him mine He owned a lot of oil wells and his bank roll sure was healthy And I knew if I married him I’d suddenly be wealthy Oh I’ll oil wells love you I’ll oil wells care I’ll oil wells need you I want you oil wells dear Well I never had no money, not a penny to my name And I said I’d find a rich man, and I’d love my way to fame So he took me in his arms and I cuddled up real near The money bug then bit me and I whispered in his ear

Oh, I’ll oil wells love you I’ll oil wells care I’ll oil wells need you I want you oil wells dear He looked in to my eyes and thought he saw a love light shine Nearly did he know that that light was dollar signs Now that we are married there ain’t nothin’ left to tell We’ll live happily ever after because all is well that ends well Oh, I’ll oil wells love you I’ll oil wells care I’ll oil wells need you I want you oil wells dear

 Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

Dani’s diary Dani finds that watching tennis has a surprisingly therapeutic effect on the anxious mind of a troubled girl... I haven’t been feeling great recently. I am having quite a few panic attacks, and when I am not feeling like that I am absolutely exhausted. I am so bored of spending all day pretending that I feel fine that cracks are starting to appear in my façade. But it’s okay because I bought myself a sun lounger and I don’t have much of a garden! I had thought of something to say in this space earlier today, but that idea disappeared along with a small amount of sanity. There is a slight delay between me writing this and it then appearing in the magazine. I am currently watching tennis. Murray vs Gasquet. I want Murray to win because it would be good to have a Brit win Wimbledon and also because if my kitten was a person he would look like Andy Murray. It’s a bit of a wrong reason to be watching tennis but... Well actually there’s no but – I am just weird. I have no idea how the scoring works and I generally have to wait for the other people in the room to answer my irritating questions and then look at me strangely because when (or at least when it looks like) it’s getting close, I feel the need to grab my chest! I don’t know why so don’t ask. At the time of writing this I have no idea who will win. I want Murray to win. The more I watch this the more I like it. I do not want to be looking at the computer screen. I want to shout at the TV (because that’s what sane people do!).

“I want Andy Murray to win because if my kitten was a person he would look like Murray”

For more rhymes check out myspace.com/eminemmylou I can’t bear it, I have to move away from the television. At the time you are reading this you will know how it all ends. I only know how it begins. I have never been a sports fan. But perhaps I can say now that I like at least one sport. Well if anything is going to pull me out of this worrying slump, then tennis might be a good thing. It’s better than perhaps sitting in a dark room and eating shredded wheat and potato croquettes which is what happened last time. I hate the summer because I had a nervous breakdown during this season two years ago (can you believe it has been two years?), and like any other person with an anxiety disorder I associate certain places and things with panic attacks and generally feeling so rubbish that I forget to care. So perhaps I can associate summer with Murray (the kitten lookalike) winning Wimbledon and making us all proud to be British again (not that I am not proud to be British, except when the football is on). Or perhaps not because nothing seems to be able to stop the crappy feeling that creeps and, more often then not, pounces on me and drags me to the floor. I need to sort something out because this is no way to live. But I put on my clothes, buy a new pair of shoes, slap on a smile and get on with the day. Because I really have no other option. Which in turn makes me feel crappy. Grrrrrrrr!

 For comments and chit chat email letters@thelatest.co.uk Collection/delivery ordering service for

IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that. No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

FEARLESS MIKE 01273 711166 As seen on TV

admin@fearlessmike.com

www.fearlessmike.com

Ask about our flatpack assembly service We are an independent limited company and not part of the Ikea group

8

latest 7


009_LS381_celebcity

7/9/08

5:18 PM

Page 1

AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Party people Win tickets to Fatboy’s Big Beach Boutique 4, which promises to be the best beach party ever How many 44-year-olds do you know that can still party like they just don’t care? Not many I’m sure, but that is exactly what our very own Fatboy Slim did in London’s Hyde Park last weekend. I watched the show in good company, having spotted various celebs backstage, including Sir Bob Geldof, Johnny Ball, Steve Jones, Miquita Oliver, Charlize Theron and Miss Universe Australia Laura Dundovic. Norman was headlining the main stage at the O2 Wireless Saturday night gig, also playing was funk-master bassist Bootsy Collins, Audio Bullys, The Whip, Brighton’s Cagedbaby and Swedish raver Robyn. Fatboy certainly didn’t disappoint, walking on stage barefoot and in cropped trousers and now trademark loud print shirt, to the soundtrack of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Opening with a heavily remixed version of ‘Praise You’, the superstar DJ never stopped smiling throughout the show – I have never seen anyone looked more at home on stage. The set contained tracks including samples from Michael Jackson’s Thriller, House of Pain’s ‘Jump Around’ (my personal favourite), Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip’s ‘Thou Shalt Always Kill’, plus an amazing remixed version of the Rolling Stones track (‘I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’ and his 1998 hit ‘The Rockafeller Skank’ from the now classic album, You've Come a Long Way, Baby. If you got bored of looking at Norman’s beaming face then you could watch in awe at the amazing video screen action. A twelve foot tall video of Iggy Pop singing along to ‘He’s Frank’ – one of the new tunes by Brighton Port Authority (Norman’s new music project) was one of the highlights. I am told we can expect much more in the forthcoming Brighton show, Big Beach Boutique 4 on 27 September. Tickets are still available and you can get the latest news on the gig by logging onto www.myspace.com/fatboyslim

I managed to grab a few words with Norman, standing on the side of the stage watching Bootsy Collins. I asked him about his forthcoming hometown gig: “The thing is, it’s a labour of love and it’s so close to my heart being my home town. Yeah, it’s more work, but it feels like its our baby. And what a beautiful baby it is. “The show will obviously be; bigger, better, harder, faster, louder, more fun, more tunes. Just More! More! More! “We have a new visual show which will knock your socks off. Apart from that it is the same beach party frolics, which has worked so well the last three times. “After Hyde Park we are looking to my home town to really raise the bar on how much fun there is to be had.” Tickets for Big Beach Boutique 4 are £35 and only available to those with a BN postcode. Buyers are limited to six each.

Competition Latest 7 has three pairs of tickets to Big Beach Boutique 4 to give away, plus three limited edition Fatboy Slim shirts. Simply answer this question: What was the name of Norman Cook’s 1998 album? Entrants must be 18 or over. Normal Latest competition rules apply. Email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with your answer together with your name, address, age, and phone number or write to the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries is Tuesday 29 July.

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

latest 7 9


010_LS381_cheeky/stars

7/9/08

1:23 PM

Page 2

ONLY JOKING!

See more at latest7.co.uk

Bare cheek What was that? Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Hove factually Five facts you never knew about fantabulous Hove 1) According to legend, the people of Hove are protected by a monster - the Grawlock – a nine-foot-tall beast with the body of a chimp, the tail of a zebra, the legs of a chicken and the head of Stanley Tucci, which turns its victims to stone by singing the theme tune to Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence. 2) Celebrated playwright and Hove resident, Sir Arnold Wesker, was voted number six in FHM‘s 2007 100 Sexiest Women poll. 3) Neville Playing Fields in Blatchington are named after Hove’s great general, Sir Neville Playing Fields, who invented playing fields and the name Neville. 4) Events planned for Hove Town Hall this summer include a Potty Time convention, a cartoon dog show (boasting such entrants as Huckleberry Hound, Fred Bassett and Boot from The Perishers), and a slave market. 5) Cowper Street in Poets Corner lies on a geological fault line and experiences an earthquake of magnitude 6.2 on the Richter scale approximately once every 11 minutes.

In & Out IN

OUT

• Mr Vain

• Mr Raider

• ‘A major contribution to road safety’

• ‘A heartbreaking work of staggering genius’

• Death cigarettes

• Jez Butterworth

• Those pale pink, striped, thin, easily tearable plastic bags you get from newsagents and cheap off-licences

• Those pale blue, striped, thin, easily tearable plastic bags you get from newsagents and cheap off-licences

• Millet

• Lockjaw

Astral Angi ★Finding truth in the stars★

Can’t remember the name of an obscure film, book, TV show, or whatever? Ask Mike Hunter, the man with all the answers Dear Mike, Listen mate – I’m desperate, and you’re my last hope. It’s my grandma’s 90th birthday next week and the family have organised a fantastic surprise party for her. We’ve hired a posh conference room at the Grand, invited all her surviving friends and relatives, booked a band to play her favourite Cole Porter numbers, and stuff. The icing on the cake was going to be my plan to project her favourite film onto the wall as she entered the party, but I’ve forgotten what the blooming thing’s called! As far as I remember it’s a Hollywood epic, set in the Deep South of America during the Civil War, and concerns the travails of a Southern belle. She hankers after a refined and handsome neighbour, but – after a number of romantic and financial misadventures – ends up hitched to an irrepressible, moustachioed rogue. At the end of the film she realises she’s always loved him, but – traumatised by the death of their daughter in a riding accident – he spurns her, and goes off. The film ends with her saying tomorrow’s just another day or something like that. Oh – and there’s a bit where she has a dress made out of some curtains, if that helps. My grandma’s nuts about this film – she’s always going on about it, and it would make her day to think so much thought had gone into her party, so please, please, please get this one right. Cheers in advance. Martin Herbert, Hangleton. Dear Martin, Frankly, my dear, I’m surprised you didn’t remember the name of this one! The film your grandmother is so fond of is, of course, Crash, which was directed by David Cronenberg in 1996. Glad to have been of help. Keep those letters flooding in!

Mike X Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

BARDSLEY’S

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

Fiery Aries is a passionate beast, but not always as giving as one might hope in romantic situations. Hot, hot, hot is all very well but you may end up poking your own fire.

Cancer is the sign of the homemaker, the nest builder, the carer… Yes you got it, be careful not to go to far with the doilies and cushions and keep a spark in your heart for some loving.

Librans are the great lovers of harmony and light and like to see things in twos. One and two makes three and if that’s what floats your boat then who are we to criticise.

Busy little Capricorn is attracted to the strong-willed and domineering type. Drawn by power and social climbing you need to be careful not to get bitten on the bum by a rampant Scorpio.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Grounded and rock solid, Taurus can often be mistaken for boring, but that’s not true. Deep down the bull seeks a passionate relationship and surprisingly adores pretty things.

Leo rules the zodiac’s house of passion. Now that can be taken two ways. You either dominate the action, or you take the money and hold the coats – your choice, pussy.

Rulers of the house of sex, Scorpio will harness celestial powers and use them to great erotic effect. What a burden, eh? All eyes on Scorpio now to see if they measure up.

The water carrier is a flirtatious charmer who is at home with many but also appreciates the pleasures created by two. An erotic opportunist in other words, good luck to you.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Geminis make fickle lovers, flitting from liaison to liaison feeling like a butterfly but leaving behind a mothlike detritus. Many Geminis are also ambidextrous. Think what you will.

Steeped in servitude Virgo needs to be careful not to be taken advantage of. Unless of course you enjoy being taken advantage of. Use your skills to give pleasure wherever you can.

Philosophical Sagis are so bound up in the whys and the wherefores that they are likely not to get round to the action. Put those thoughts to one side and get it on for once.

Passive Pisces is so laid-back that you might not even know they are awake. Come on Pisces, put down your mushy peas and pick up your codpiece from Bardsley’s.

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To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk


011_LS381_newsbigstory

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5:07 PM

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latest news No nonsense, just news. Send your stories to: news@thelatest.co.uk

Rachel Pegg reports on the local development projects that are on course to beat the credit crunch

Steady development You could be forgiven for thinking there is not much happening in development in Brighton and Hove and that most major projects are on freeze. You’d be wrong. Many of the city’s most ambitious schemes – including the i360 tower and regeneration of London Road – are moving ahead with speed. Work is due to start on the i360, the viewing tower dubbed the ‘Brighton Eye’, later this year. This week a public exhibition will reveal more about St James’s Investments’ ambitious plans for London Road. i360

Meanwhile, it is hoped a planning application for the redevelopment of City College Brighton and Hove will be made at the end of this month and Explore Living is hoping for a decision on its application to build nearly 1,300 apartments, a transport interchange, shops and community buildings at Brighton Marina in the autumn. Construction is expected to start on Brighton and Hove Albion’s new Falmer Stadium in December and on the £11million revamped Open Market in the spring. All of which seem to point to a city still committed to regeneration and change. Ted Kemble, council cabinet member for major projects, said: “Brighton and Hove has a very progressive and economic future. Developers have still got confidence in the town and I don’t think we will suffer as much as other parts of the country. There is obviously going to be the odd hiccup. Given the enthusiasm and support of this administration for the economic wellbeing and growth of the city, I am very confident that most if not all of our major projects will go ahead.” It is hoped that the i360 will open in time for summer, 2010. A spokeswoman for architects Marks Barfield said the project had not been affected by the credit crunch. She said: “It is still moving on so it hasn’t had an impact. We are still quite confident. We are just trying to work out contractual details.” St James’s Investments first revealed their proposals for London Road in April and asked for ideas from the public. Now architects Wilkinson Eyre and Scott Brownrigg have drawn up designs which will be unveiled this week. They include homes, commercial space, new shopping unit and a Tesco store.

Project leader James Hepburn said: “More than 700 people visited our first exhibition in April where we asked for ideas from the public on how they would like to see the area improved. Ninety per cent are in favour of regenerating the area, and the top issues seen by the public as most in need of addressing are run-down shops, derelict and vacant buildings, lack of green and amenity space, traffic congestion and lack of shopping choice. Other key issues raised included addressing traffic congestion and creating good pedestrian and cycle connections around the area.” City College is due to apply for planning permission this month to totally redesign its Pelham Street site in the south of the city and build a north site at the new community stadium at Falmer. This first phase of the redevelopment, costing £95million, is due to open in September 2011. Later this summer the college will submit a request for most of the funding to the Learning and Skills Council. The Brighton Marina Regeneration Project submitted its planning application for the western quarter last September after two years of public consultation. The council is now undertaking its own consultation and the scheme is expected to go to committee for a decision this autumn. Project leader Jim Dennis said the project remained financially stable. He said: “As a privately and family run business we remain protected against variations in the stock market, allowing us to drive the business forward in a market that is currently consumed with uncertainty.” Albion chief executive Martin Perry said last month when the project was put out to tender that he fully expected work to begin in December. The club will announce which of the three building firms has won the contract in September. At the time Mr Perry said the project should be protected from the credit crunch, saying: “Working closely with our financial advisors PriceWaterhouseCoopers, we are confident of securing the necessary funding for our new home and hope to announce a preferred funding partner before the end of this year.” In the next few weeks a building firm is expected to be appointed for the Open Market scheme. Construction will begin in the spring and is expected to last nine months. Paul Reynolds, one of the traders leading the scheme together with the city council and Hyde Housing, said: “The credit crunch hasn’t helped but it is a community project that is considered quite highly by the council. It will be a kick-start for the London Road regeneration.” St James’s Investments London Road public exhibition, 11 Vantage Point, Circus Parade, Thurs 17 July, 11am-7pm, Fri and Sat 18 and 19 July, 11am-4pm.

“I am very confident that most of our major projects will go ahead”

City College

Falmer Stadium

Brighton Marina Regeneration Project

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012_LS381_newssummary

7/11/08

12:52 PM

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LATESTNEWS

news summary

7 days of headlines



Brighton and Hove City Council has announced a formal consultation for turning Falmer High School into a city academy. The council will publish a statement of its intention on Monday 1 September. There will be a six-week period in which people can make representations to the council. Hundreds of people queued around the block in an attempt to pick up an iPhone 3G. The phones went on sale at O2 and Carphone Warehouse stores on Friday (11 July) at 8.02am. About 200 people queued for hours at O2 in Western Road. O2 said there was unprecedented demand for the new model and it would be getting weekly supplies.

Beyond confusion A student whose family is affected by Alzheimer’s has won an award for her portrayal of the illness. Lucy Irving produced a series of images depicting a hat in a fridge, a jumper in the oven and a family photograph labelled with children’s names. Lucy, a digital media design student at City College Brighton and Hove, won an In Book Award at the D&D Student Awards. She said: “I wanted to portray Alzheimers in a different way and not make it all doom and gloom. I

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There will soon be an unusual way to propose to your loved one – by doing it live on a late night love radio show. DJ Ambrose Harcourt, aka Mr Lurve, is going to offer listeners to his Juice 107.2 FM show the chance to surprise their girlfriend or boyfriend with a very public display of affection. Station manager Cheryl Harcourt said the new feature would be introduced as part of the Love Inn show, on Monday to Thursdays from 10pm to midnight. She said listeners were enjoying going to bed with Ambrose and waking up with Guy and Andrea. “He is getting lots of calls, emails and letters. People send in requests for songs for themselves or their loved ones. Sometimes they have questions, if they are going on a first date or if they have any problems.“ Call 01273 387107 or text Juice followed by your message to 80006 or email ambrose@juicebrighton.com

summer.” The exhibition is open Monday to Saturday from 10:30am to 3pm. The Brighton and Hove Drug and Alcohol Action Team (DAAT) is made up of a wide range of services and agencies all working together in partnership. These include the Sussex Partnership

NHS Trust, Brighton and Hove Primary Care Trust, Brighton and Hove police, Brighton and Hove City Council, voluntary sector organisations, such as Crime Reduction Initiatives and St John Ambulance, and the probation service.

NEWS

Essential services in Brighton and Hove will not be affected by strikes on Wednesday 16 and Thursday 17 July. The city council has negotiated for exemptions for home care, children’s and older people’s residential services, care link, lifeguards, community mental health teams, and the children's safe guarding team.

Love on the air

think it’s important to show different sides to the subject that people maybe haven’t thought of before. I think I’ve pushed my experiences to one side in order to look at it objectively.“ In her photographs, Lucy aims to show objects from the point of view of the person with dementia. She said: “People with dementia often get confused and put objects in the wrong places. There’s an image of fruit in a bowl with pins in, which represents a common delusion with dementia sufferers that their food is being poisoned so they end up losing a lot of weight and can be hospitalised. There’s some that are labelled with their names if you go into a care home everything has to be labelled. I hope people will look at the images and question what they know about dementia and see it from a different perspective.“

Art after addiction The art work created by people recovering from drug and alcohol problems goes on show An art exhibition with a difference is running in Brighton this summer. ‘Temporarily Now’, being staged at St Paul’s Church in West Street, Brighton, showcases a range of artwork and photography created by people recovering from drug and alcohol problems. Art therapy is used by a number of local organisations in their work with people getting over substance misuse problems and the exhibition is an opportunity for the artists to display their work. The exhibition has been organised by Brighton and Hove City Council’s Communities Against Drugs team – part of the city’s Drug and Alcohol Action Team. It was opened last month by Councillor Dee Simson, the council’s cabinet member for community affairs and inclusion. The exhibition runs until August 30 and, being in a central location close to Brighton seafront, it is 12 latest 7

expected to be visited by thousands of people over the course of the summer. It will move on to other venues in the autumn. Organisations taking part include: ru-ok?, the young people’s substance misuse service; Equinox Alcohol Outreach Service; the Youth Offending Team; Foyer Sanctuary Housing; Recovery On/Off Addictive Drugs, a voluntary service user group; and Creative Futures. Councillor Simson said: “People taking part in art therapy at drug and alcohol projects in the city have produced some really creative work. The exhibition will help to bring their art to the attention of a wider audience and highlight the work of organisations working with people recovering from substance misuse. “We hope as many people as possible will take the time to visit the exhibition during the

If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk


013_LS381_newsphil

7/9/08

12:10 PM

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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills investigates a string of high profile local cases recently solved by Sussex police Andre Genestin

Rich harvest There was a time not so long ago when a secret drawer would slide open in a police station office to celebrate the conviction of a major criminal. It wasn’t supposed to happen, of course, but it did. Out would come a bottle of Scotch and all those detectives and uniform officers involved in the case would raise a glass and down a wee dram. The ritual was a quiet affair, deliberately so to avoid the wrath of the top brass and it was done as much in salute to the victim as it was to hail the judge and jury. Political correctness has long put paid to the practice, of course, and it is probably all to the good: if it was called upon to register recent successes then officers would be bending their arms so much they’d be rolling around totally incapable. Sussex police are currently bringing home a rich summer harvest of highprofile convictions, and while they are only supposed to say they are “satisfied” with court successes, there are probably quite a few yippees being shouted behind closed doors in coppers’ homes. Police have not known a busier time. A life sentence for body-in-the-box murderer Andre Genestin was among the string of jobs for the Major Crime Branch (MCB), which normally handles an average 20 homicides in a year. After a two-week trial, Genestin, 49, was found guilty of beating to death his Russian-born wife and hiding her body in a car roof box in the garden of their home in Whitehawk, Brighton. Days earlier, an inmate at Lewes Prison was convicted of strangling his cellmate, not the toughest of nuts to crack, one would think. Some cases

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NEWS

Aymer

do appear open and shut and wouldn’t need a Sherlock Holmes or an army of sleuths to solve, but in this age, there are no simple cases and every ‘T’ needs crossing and ‘I’ dotting. It is painstakingly slow, often laborious and sometime fraught with legal minefields that, if strayed into, could see a guilty Det Supt person walk free. Steve Fowler Several concluded cases related to crimes committed years earlier. A Littlehampton man was killed in his flat two years ago. His neighbour received an indeterminate sentence. Two offenders, 26 and 32, were jailed for 20 years for a murder in Hurstpierpoint, while another offender was sent to prison for 12 years for robbery and aggravated burglary in the Chinese community in Horsham. Aaron Aymer, 18, from London, who stabbed a 22year-old Brighton man at Seven Dials, was found guilty of murder, and five defendants were sentenced to a total of 20 years for false imprisonment, theft and assaults involving the Polish community in Hove. The MCB currently have two retrials, including a manslaughter case involving a fatal road crash at Fontwell. Head of the MCB is Detective Superintendent Steve Fowler, who personally led a high-profile case which led to the conviction and jailing for three years of one of his own officers for theft and obtaining property by deception. He said the recent workload had come at a time when the branch was actively investigating five other cases, including murder. There was no sign of a drawer sliding open but he did concede: “It’s been a hectic period with so many trials running but they have yielded some excellent results.”

“Sussex police have not known a busier time“

Jordan – artist? Glamour model Jordan dreams of being crowned Princess Katie Price if her artwork is anything to go by. She put paint to canvas and came up with a pink crown decorated with Swarovski crystals and carrying the message “Everyone’s a princess” when she popped into a Brighton studio with husband Peter Andre and brother Danny. Their three pieces of work, along with 200 other celebrity canvases, will be auctioned in London later this year for the Willow Foundation, founded by

Arsenal and England goalkeeper Bob Wilson and his wife Megs in memory of their daughter, who died of cancer aged 31. The charity provides quality of life and quality of time for seriously ill young adults, aged 16 to 40, throughout the UK, through the provision of special days. One onlooker at Julie-Anne Gilburt’s seafront studios said: “Katie was very enthusiastic with her art but she couldn’t keep her eyes or hands off Peter. It was really quite sweet.” Ms Gilburt said: “They made the journey to the studio specifically to

get involved and really threw themselves into the project.” Other celebrities taking part in the Stars on Canvas auction include Sir Bob Geldof, Matt Lucas, Matt Damon, Catherine Tate, Gary Rhodes, Gordon Ramsay, Boris Johnson and Jude Law. latest 7 13


014_LS381_letters/sport

7/10/08

7:38 PM

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LATESTSPORT

Letters 

 Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk

Latest Sport Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker

Get stuck in Latest Sport rounds up a few of the activities on offer to children and adults this summer

Thanks from Macmillan We at Macmillan Cancer Support would like to say a big thank you to all those who took part in, and sponsored, the Windmill Walk on Sunday 11 May. It was a great success and so far has raised over £10,000 to help people in Sussex affected by cancer, and we still hope to reach our target of £15,000. In particular we would like to thank Café Nia, Graze, Donatello, Usual Suspects, Bowlplex, Montezuma’s, Millie’s Cookies, Thorntons, Marks and Spencer (by Brighton Station), Rondo the Clown, NamNam’s face painting, Brighton and Hove Bus Company, Wenban Smith, Parker Pen, Rottingdean Preservation Society, Seaford Lions Club and David Boys Photography, all of whom helped make this event such a huge success. Macmillan’s ambition is to provide everyone affected by cancer with medical, emotional, practical and financial support. One in three people are affected by cancer and more than 6,200 people are diagnosed with cancer in Sussex each year, so the need for our support services just keeps growing. Macmillan does not receive regular government funding so we rely on supporters and sponsors to allow us to continue providing our vital services. We do need help to raise more funds. It can be great fun organising your own fundraising event such as a coffee morning, pub quiz, barbecue or summer fete in aid of Macmillan. Or turning an interest or hobby into a fundraiser, by setting yourself a personal challenge such as a sponsored cycle or putting on a gig with friends. It’s a really enjoyable and easy way to raise money. For further advice and to get you started call the Macmillan Cancer Support in Sussex fundraising office on 01273 746601. If you would prefer to join one of our organised events why not take part in the Peacehaven Abseil on 9 August. To find out more details and to register visit www.macmillan.org.uk/eastsussex Once again, we want to thank all our supporters and sponsors without whom we couldn’t continue to help make a difference to the lives of people living with cancer in Sussex. Jane Eaton, Macmillan Sussex community fundraiser

Food for thought Dear Andrew, I recently read a letter by a guy called John who wanted more reviews of restaurants in Hove and Brighton. What utter rubbish this man talks: if he reads your column regularly he will clearly see that you review Brighton and Hove on a regular basis along with other restaurants across the coast and London. As a resident living in Brighton who commutes on a daily basis to London I find your reviews refreshing and thoroughly interesting. On a regular basis I find myself following in your reviewing footsteps, whether it’s the Rain Forest Café, One Aldwych, both in London, or L’Eglise in Hove, The Foragers in Brighton or the River Spice in Hove. Long may you continue to review food as your articles are just what I and many others look forward to on a weekly basis. I cannot wait for your review of Santiago as I had an excellent night there recently with friends. The food and service were just great and the views from the window seat breathtaking. I am sure you will have a good time. Kevin Evans

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

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Forget the national and international arena for a minute – there are hundreds of sports going on right here on our doorstep. If you fancy having a go at windsurfing or sailing, Lagoon Watersports can offer lessons in the safety of Hove Lagoon. The company recently raised £500 for the RNLI by holding trial sessions for 200 adults and children on 5 and 6 July, the dates of the Paddle Round the Pier festival. Many signed up immediately for more lessons. For more details about any of the lessons or courses Lagoon Watersports offer, call them on 01273 424842, visit www.lagoonwaterports.co.uk or email info@lagoonwatersports.co.uk The Paddle Round the Pier festival has taken place, but Sunday’s free-for-all fun paddle had to be postponed due to bad weather. It will now take place this Saturday, 19 July. Meet at the Peace Statue at 5.30pm. Wimbledon might be over, but that just makes it time for Wii-mbledon. Brighton Diabetes UK is holding a charity Wii tennis tournament to raise money for its support group. The second heat is held this Sunday (20 July) at the Providence Pub in Western Road, Brighton, at 7pm, with a final on 27 July. Find out more at www.diabetes-brighton.co.uk Matt Fiddes Martial Arts School, run by Ben Fullick, offers children the chance to keep fit with regular exercise while learning self defence. Ben has already given a taster session to more than 60 children at the city's TakePart event in Preston Park on 28 June. Classes are run at a variety of locations in Brighton, Hove, Portslade and Saltdean. There are also sessions for adults and women-only. Anyone interested in signing up can call 0800 612 7385 or email office@mattfiddes-sussex.co.uk Brighton and Hove’s family information service has produced a summer fun booklet with details about the summer fun sports programme, plus childminding, entertainments in the park, community activities and play projects. There are still places on courses including badminton, cricket, netball, hockey, girls’ rugby, football, bikeability, teen tennis, beach volleyball, basketball, fixed wheel track cycling and street dance, all of which offer a professionally coached introduction to skills and techniques. The programme runs for five weeks from 28 July. The booklet can be found in libraries, council buildings and at www.brightonhove.gov/summerfun where you can book places online. Alternatively, call 01273 292721. Finally, Brighton and Hove Albion, the city’s sports development team and police community support officers are running free football sessions for 12 to 19-year-olds in Easthill Park on Friday nights. The sessions run from 7.30pm to 9pm until 8 August. All abilities are welcome, just come along, or for more information call Julie on 07795 336150. Don’t forget to email news of your own sporting events to editorial@thelatest.co.uk


015_LS381_health/model city

7/11/08

8:16 AM

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HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Think before you eat

Model city

Zara Baker says forget the crash diet for summer and think about nutrition and energy intake first

Sandra Omo points out that there’s more to dieting than simply shedding pounds

As we focus on reaching an ideal weight for baring skin in the summer, nutrition can take a backseat. Weight loss becomes the goal and the side effects of eating an unbalanced diet begin to show. Energy levels are affected, along with our mood. Good nutrition needs to be in our mind, but how do we ensure we are getting enough nutrition? And just how much is enough? I set out to find some answers. The nutrition in our diet and energy needed differs between each individual. The amount is based on our BMI (Body Mass Index) which calculates if we are a healthy weight for our height. Visit nhsdirect.nhs.uk to calculate your BMI. As I tentatively entered my weight and height on to the site, I was pleased to see the results load up and say my BMI is healthy, despite any body issues one may have. A diet high in fat and low in protein can contribute to health factors later on in life including coronary heart disease, type two diabetes and some cancers. A healthy nutritional plan of a balanced diet, which includes some fat (unsaturated), is key. Five-a-day of fruit and vegetables has become a popular slogan in society, used in advertising and by health care professionals. If we aim to get our ‘five-a-day,’ though, it is probably more difficult than you think. A medium sized piece of fruit, such as an apple, is one portion. A fruit smoothie also counts as one, as does a slice of large fruit such as pineapple or melon. For variety, try a handful of grapes, cherries or dried fruit (tinned fruit counts too) and a side salad. The British Nutrition Foundation (www.nutrition.org.uk) carried out a national data survey and found from those asked that children eat less then half the recommended five a day. In an average week, one in five children aged four to 18 ate no fruit at all. Try the nutrition quiz at bupa.co.uk and see how much you know – It may be an eye opener. If you want nutrition advice, a nutritionist can help you manage your weight and take a positive and happier outlook.

al Season0% 1 : r offe t on all discouns booked sessionfore 30 be August

London, Brighton, Hove & Forest Row Practices

If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

I, like every other model, have become a victim of the word ‘diet’. It has become a word we dare not use outside our clique, otherwise the stare we get is the type that can cause the ground to open and swallow us. Why? Because this word has become such a misunderstood cliché, so that when a model, especially a slim person, says he/she is on a diet, the first thought that runs through people’s minds is usually cynical. Then they begin to ask questions like: “What’s wrong with you?”, “Are you serious or joking?”, “What on earth do you need to diet for?”, “Can’t you see you are skinny already?”, etc. Yeah all these may be true but has it ever occurred to anyone that they are exactly the reasons why that person should be on a diet? Firstly, I would like to point out that a diet is a good thing and something that everyone needs, including models. The truth is that we are all on a diet whether we like it or not. If you disagree, it is because you do not know what ‘diet’ means. In fact, the majority of us do not know. We think that a diet is a range of food, which a person limits his/herself to in order to lose weight. You are wrong because although the definition of the word ‘diet’ includes the above, it is not limited to it. This is like saying that the United Kingdom is England – see how wrong you are? To be complete, the word diet means a range of food habitually eaten by a person, or that which a person is limited to, in order to affect one’s weight and/or health. This effect can be a positive or negative one. So you see, as long as you eat food, you are on a diet. The question now is, are you on a good or bad diet?

“As long as you eat food, you are on a diet. The question is, are you on a good or bad diet?” I say a good diet is the balance between not eating enough and eating too much, and we – models – need this because we are usually at risk of not eating enough. The competition in the modelling industry makes it very easy for us to concentrate on our physical appearance so much that we sometimes, if not all the time, forget about being healthy. We must always remember that modelling is not all about the way one looks today; rather it takes maintaining that look or quality for one to be a success, and eating a good diet is the best way to keep a healthy and glowing physical appearance. Thus, the popular saying that: “You are what you eat” can never be over emphasised. Funnily enough, I have been told so many times that I am lucky that I do not need to diet in gatherings where dieting is talked about. Each time I hear this, I wonder what the criteria for these people’s assumption is. If it is based on the fact that I am a model and a size eight, then I dare say that this is the reason I need to live on a diet all my life, because the industry that I work in demands that I maintain this standard, if not improve it. Therefore, it is funny when people assume that models do not need to go on a diet when we are actually the ones who should not go through a day without being conscious of a good diet. So when we say we are on a diet, it is, more often than not, to maintain or improve, not necessarily to lose weight. latest 7 15


016_LS381_food

10/7/08

9:49 AM

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

Fish on the beach Andrew Kay’s tongue goes dancing at Santiago on Brighton seafront Of all the cuisines in the world my least favourite has always been Mexican. Oh I can cook a mean Texan chilli for sure but most of what is presented on a plate under the name of Mexico looks like it has been reheated if not regurgitated several times. I did however have a real soft spot for El Taco Way on the lower promenade on Brighton’s seafront. Here, in the summer months only, I would happily sit down to a Dos Equis and a plate of tortilla chips with splodges of ‘stuff’. It wasn’t great food but it had the best atmosphere. Now El Taco Way has been replaced by Santiago, and the Mexicana replaced by a far more sophisticated menu of modern cooking. There is also indoor seating which I am sure I never saw in the former incarnation, so the plan is to stay open all year. I arrived with Mr E, unsure of what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised to find an old foodie friend waiting table and a chef who I have praised before rattling the pots and pans. We went inside – there was a heck of a wind blowing – and took a seat upstairs. What a view; waves crashing on pebble, the stripped carcass of the once proud West Pier stooped and forlorn. I reckon the only worthwhile sea views in Brighton are from the beach. Regulars might by now be worrying that the detailed environmental report is here to diffuse a disappointing meal. None of it. The meal was first class. I know that I can waffle about wallpaper when the nosh is below par, but not this time, it’s just that the location is worth a mention.

“I was lured by the promise of morcilla – Spanish black pudding served with scallops and minted pea puree”

thus forming a heat impervious barrier. I have suffered too often from raw lamb fat on crusted racks. Get it right though and it‘s heaven, which is exactly what this was. The crumb mix was as light as fairy dust, the seasoning quite brilliant, with a perfect balance of sweet and salt that had my tongue dancing. It was crisp too and in a fine layer that had not denied the fish inside some proper heat. I hope the chef will forgive me for copying the dish at home, or at least trying to. To drink I chose a bottle of rioja that was as smooth as a red coat’s patter and far more entertaining. Spanish tempranillo works excellently well with white fish and with pork – it works brilliantly with chorizo and morcilla too. Too full for dessert really, but ever watchful of the needs of my readers we took a look at the menu and piled in. Mr E having failed to finish his main could not resist a dish of eggy bread made with brioche and served with red fruits and ice cream. I chose Catalan cream which is closer to our own creme bruleè than to Spain’s other notorious pudding flan. Flan in Spain (unlike the sponge jobs our mothers bought and filled with tinned mandarins under a jelly glaze with whipped cream. What do you mean your mother didn’t make fruit flans?) is a custard affair often thickened with cornflour as well as eggs and as a consequence it is truly dismal. Here the Catalan cream was a perfect eggy custard flavoured with orange flower water with a crisp sugar topping. If I have one criticism of the entire meal it would be the sugar topping which was a tad gritty and not caramelised enough for my taste. A tiny complaint and one that I hope does not offend. Coffee was good, piping hot espresso always makes me smile and yes I do dip sugar cubes in it and crunch them as they melt. Maybe the memory of El Taco Way is seen through the rose-tinted spectacles of lost romance. Santiago is much, much better and certainly makes better use of the location and for longer each year. Santiago, King’s Road Arches, Brighton. 01273 710031.

memories of Indian Cuisine

A New Experience

So on to the food. Mr E started with a massive plate of fried chorizo with white beans, a sturdy dish indeed and one that he made rapid inroads into. I was lured by the promise of morcilla – Spanish black pudding served with scallops and minted pea puree. I prayed it was Spanish because they have a soft, creamy texture, far less firm than a Bury berry. I am pleased to report that it was really smashing. Mr E moved on to slow-cooked belly of pork with a bean stew. Not exactly well-planned on his part – two portions of beans – but another impressive and robust dish, the size of which actually defeated him. I chose haddock in a pink peppercorn crust with a warm potato salad. I love haddock, more character than cod by a long chalk and as yet not endangered I hope. I also love pink pepper berries, as I think they are called. This was a great dish and reminded my why I had enjoyed this chef’s work in the past. The fish to start with was a thick slice of fillet, cooked to perfection; flaky but still moist. The potato salad was good too and pleasantly restrained in its seasoning. I mention this because it provided a perfect background against which to enjoy the crust. Now crusts on food can turn me on or make me sick. Nothing is worse than a slab of compacted breadcrumb baked on to the surface of food and 16 latest 7

Open 12 noon - 11.30pm 7 days a week including Bank Holidays

Sunday buffet 12 noon - 5pm Eat to your hearts content Adults £9.95 Child £5.95 Mon - Sat Special Lunch Offer Dine from 12 noon to 4pm 25% off food from the a la carte menu

memories of

INDIA . . .

An Indian but not as you know it

9B Waterfront, Brighton Marina, Brighton BN2 5WA

Te l : 0 1 2 7 3 6 0 0 0 8 8 / 6 0 0 6 4 4 w w w. m e m o r i e s o f i n d i a b r i g h t o n . c o m If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk


017_018_LS381_hotlist

11/7/08

1:06 PM

Page 1

LATESTHOTLIST

See more at latest7.co.uk

latest hot

atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian. For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.” 48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412

LIST

New Steine Bistro

RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials. They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty home-cooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive. Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

Fat Leo

Santiago Restaurant Nestled between the two piers, Santiago Restaurant offers quality food and friendly service in this fantastic location on Brighton beach. Occupying former fisherman’s arches and boasting three of the historic, original arched windows, the first floor indoor restaurant gives a cosy and intimate dining experience. Now serving an exciting new menu of modern European dishes with a Hispanic influence and delicious homemade desserts. On sunny days, enjoy watching the world go by while dining on their sun terrace overlooking the beach, or in the evening come and relax in the indoor restaurant where every table has a sea view. 143-144 Kings Road Arches, Brighton Beach 01273 710031 www.santiagorestaurant.biz

CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk

Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank. Relaxed alfresco dining is available in the garden; a sunny afternoon could not be better spent. Enjoy the ‘Early Frog’ from 6-7pm; a threecourse meal at £13.95 is really the best value for your money! The true character of this delightful restaurant comes hopping to life in the evenings, and the mouthwatering menu is a comprehensive choice of the finest French cuisine. Children and families always welcome. 119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com

Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new french patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart. Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an

L’Église L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic à la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like coq au vin and côte de bœuf for two. Locally sourced produce includes freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive Anglo-French farmhouse cheeseboard. There is also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as tarte aux pommes and crème brulée. Enjoy the south-facing sun terrace with the brasserie lunch menu, Tuesday-Sunday 12-6pm, including croque madame, tarte a l’ognion, moules marinières and more. And with a delicious French Sunday roast, this is true entente cordiale. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk

INDIAN Chaula’s “The food of India, not just Indian food.” New on the scene in Lewes and unlike other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes! Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Sam’s of Brighton A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

FRENCH The Arrogant Frog

Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders. 10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415

Fat Leo Sevendials restaurant

Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family

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LATESTHOTLIST dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

THAI Chokdee A premium takeaway and informal eaterie next to Hove Station where you can enjoy real Thai cooking. Chokdee serves a variety of popular Thai dishes, including tom yum soup, pad thai (stir-fried noodles) favourite red and green curries and a range of freshly stir-fried dishes, with vegetarian options. There’s a selection of home-made starters priced from £3.95. A plate of mixed starters is good value at £8.95 and includes chicken satay, Thai fishcakes, mini spring rolls and mee krob noodles. Main courses include a good selection of vegetarian, duck and seafood dishes, and are made to each individual order using authentic Thai ingredients such as holy basil, kaffir lime leaves and galangal, coconut milk and chillis. Chokdee is licensed, with wines, saké and Thai beers. Open Monday to Saturday, for lunch and in the evening. 98 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 720370 www.chokdeethai.co.uk

Sabai The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us. Filled with stylish, genuine Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners back in Thailand. Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”! 165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love for parties and celebrations because they always give the best of times. And why not, as this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad. 87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

18 latest 7

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COFFEE SHOPS Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries. A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax. Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. MonFri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent coffee shop, with great coffee made by highly trained baristas. They also have a fantastic range of fresh fruit smoothies, sandwiches, quiches and cakes all freshly made in store. Favourites include chocolate brownies, battenburg cake, pistachio and orange biscotti (gluten free) and spinach and sun dried tomato quiche with salad. Moksha is definitely not your usual high street café. Its spacious interior is decorated with the work of local artists and photographers and the specially placed lighting offers an ambience not found elsewhere. Moksha has easy access for disabled customers, is child friendly and with free Wi-Fi, it’s a must for anyone who wants the best that Brighton has to offer. Located opposite St Peter’s Church, only a five minute walk from Brighton Station. Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton , 01273 248890 www.mokshacaffe.com

BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. To book your private party, reserve your guestlist or to run through some ideas please contact... Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

is producing a special Gay Pride issue on 29 July. If you would like to advertise your business in this issue and reach over 120,000 readers, call Marie NOW on 01273 818150


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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on

15 – 21 July

Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.latest7.co.uk

Kaki King

Kaki King After the Godspeed-meets-Tetley chic of openers My Little Problem, Kaki King hopped onto the Duke’s stage almost unnoticed to begin what was to be a captivating display of musical mastery. Utilising acoustic, electric and lap steel guitar, she hypnotised all present with a selection of beautifully undulating soundscapes, accompanying them with her own sweet and delicate vocals. In between bursts of deadpan banter and despite having to cut her set short, tracks from her back catalogue and latest release Dreaming of Revenge clearly demonstrated just why she is held in such high regard. Duke of Yorks Picturehouse, 3 July ✌✌✌✌✌ Jody White

The Catfish Kings Rock ‘n’ roll zeitgeist tunes from the 50s gathered progressive popularity among a strong crowd at the Joogleberry. Led by suave vocalist Harry Lang, the five-piece band performed a surprisingly slow-tempo version of Chuck Berry’s ‘You Never Can Tell’ (as featured in Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction) alongside others. Saxophonist Geoff Hearn arrived on stage fashionably late after the second song. Though he held the night together in admirably well seasoned style, in lieu of a missing keyboard player. Towards the end, this retro boy band (all aged over 30) had women on stage shouting for more. You gotta hand it to ‘em. Joogleberry Playhouse, 4 July ✌✌✌ Mark David

Comedy @ The Brighton Coalition As if someone had transplanted a rowdy Saturday night comedy club to a Thursday night on the seafront, MC Rufus Hound knocked the crowd in line as he prepared them for the night’s comics. The raucousness was in part due to half of the audience being out for one company’s works do, but with a ‘rock karaoke’ after it was the classic company night out, so who could blame them. First comic Amadeus was quiet and seemed

HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Pentangle For a band whose original line-up split in 1973, Pentangle show remarkable resilience. I mean drummer Terry Cox has been running a restaurant in the Balearics for the last 20 years – and yet here they are still one of English folk’s finest proponents. At the start of tonight’s Dome show, Jacqui McShee’s fluted vocals seemed muddy as if the Royal Festival Hall and Cardiff gigs have taken their toll. Fortunately not and the vocal challenge of 27-verse standards are taken in her increasingly, assured stride. With Bert Jansch and John Renbourn, as the ablest acoustic accompaniment you’re ever likely to see and Danny Thompson’s virtuoso double bass, no wonder the hubbub surrounding this tour has brought everyone from Madonna’s producer to Devendra Banhart out of the woodwork. Concert Hall, The Dome, 2 July

✌✌✌✌✌

Jan Goodey

slightly intimidated by the crowd, although his material worked. Susan Murray knocked their socks off with her bawdy set about sex and getting older, and headliner Addy Van Der Borgh was loved, although slightly lost whenever this boisterous crowd tried to join in with heckles. Good, but with a more mixed audience is bound to be better. The Brighton Coalition, 3 July ✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

The Music Man Meredith Wilson’s greatest achievement proves to be timeless in this latest hit for CFT. Simplicity of setting allowed the cast, choreographer, costumes and score to shine. Trivial in content maybe, the music is thrillingly complex with tight harmonies, complex rhythms and stark orchestrations thrown into contrast with the rich oompapa of the Souza inspired big numbers. Sentimental yes, but witty and entertaining. Brian Conley is the perfect cheeky chancer and more than holds his own vocally, his dancing is less convincing. Jenny Galloway steals all the best comedy moment as mayoress and Scarlett Strallen has a voice of gold. I came away singing and with a smile on my face. Chichester Festival Theatre 3 July ✌✌✌✌ Jody White

Pablo Francisco He has his fans. He has a dedication to the performance and a rapid-fire show that demands your full concentration. He even tried to localise a bit of his act with some references to Spearmint Rhino early on. But Pablo Francisco was not in Brighton for his gig, he was back in LA and he brought us all with him with his American Idol references and repeated callbacks to a life insurance ad from US TV. This, and his distinctly dodgy topics, that were in part a unique perspective and another part offensively prejudiced explains why his following is described as ‘cult’. Professional in his performance and a talented mimic, it was such a shame that his material was lazy when there were glimpses of a clever, unique mind. Just because you’re saying something no one else would say, doesn’t make it worth saying. Komedia, 1 July ✌ Victoria Nangle

 For complete and comprehensive listings go to latest7.co.uk

Chuck Berry, p29

20 Comedy Edinburgh previews

20 Books Non-fiction reviewed

21 Stage Albee’s Three Tall Women, listings

22 Film Chris Waitt on his past relationship mistakes, plus reviews & listings

24 Kids & Events Night-time shopping in Kemp Town

24 Art Nude to rude at Impure

26 Music Battle add it up, listings and reviews

29 Music & Club All the listings to get you out of it – the house that is...

30 Gay Will Tells baby love, news and listings

32 Television Dani’s going to be drawn in by the Cheeky Girls new show, plus 7days of lovely listings

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STAND-UP COMEDY&BOOKS

A laughing matter

Write club

For Victoria Nangle, Edinburgh preview shows give a special insight into the workings of the comedian’s craft There are a couple more weeks of Edinburgh previews doing the rounds down here, but to me what’s most interesting about them is that most are in a state of ‘work in progress’. Quite how much is ‘work’ and how much is ‘in progress’ will differ from performance to performance but to see the comic mind exposed – trying out a few risqué topics here, a few wild gestures and brand new interactions there – is worth all the rough edges. Catching Ed Aczel’s earlier preview show (see him this Friday, 8pm, Upstairs at Three and Ten, £7/5 for a more recent incarnation) was great as he tried out three different introductions for himself from off-stage to see which one got the biggest laughs. Stephen Grant first released a version of his Edinburgh show Second (latest incarnation this Wednesday at Komedia, 9pm, £5), back in May for the Brighton Fringe Festival, with a tailored interactive introduction that’s really quite unique. I won’t give the game away, but one of the fun things about Stephen is his wealth of experience as a compere, and as such his ability to simply interact on an ad hoc basis with any front row and still be funny – with a gag just for them.

“This is when you really start to get to know the inside of a comedian’s brain – a dangerous place indeed” The ‘in progress’ part is a very exciting time. It’s when you really start to get to know the inside of a comedian’s brain – a dangerous place indeed – and hear the gags that got away, whether that’s due to quality or personal sensitivity only the comedian can say. With new local comics coming up the ranks with their own shows and warped minds (among these are The Umbrella Show, this Thursday and Friday at Upstairs at Three and Ten, and Holland, Hume And Someone Else, Sunday 27 July Upstairs at Three and Ten), it’s my plan to catch them now and then see them again once they’ve done the whole Edinburgh experience. Check the difference. See how they’ve sharpened up and flown right from quivering ingenue to jaded circuit player. Or not as the case may be. All I’m saying is that a festival preview is so much more than a regular show. It’s a mark on the landscape, a turning on a comedic journey and a before-and-after snapshot that’d make Gok Wan gasp in amazement. And a chance to catch some real funnies just as they’re realised and before the glaze of practice wipes the glisten of spontaneity off them. Oh, and they’re dead cheap. Let’s not forget the most important qualifier in booking any ticket in this post-holiday-booking summer.

Stand-up wisdom: “I don’t get thatched roofs. I don’t like anything that gives arsonists a head start” Richard Heap

COMEDYLISTINGS



Tuesday 15

Friday 18

Roy Chubby Brown The extreme, controversial comedian is back with his well-known brand of adult comedy. Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 7:45pm, £19

International Stand-Up Nick Rado (New Zealand), Richard Brophy (Australia) and Matt Rudge (UK). Upstairs at Three and Ten, 9:30pm, £7/5

Wednesday 16

Saturday 19

Stephen Grant – Second Our awardwinning and much-loved regular Krater compere on what it means to come second. Komedia, 9pm, £5

Rob Heeney "Buzzing with enthusiastic energy", says Chortle. Very likeable, says us. Edinburgh show. Komedia, 9:30pm, £5

Sunday 20 Thursday 17 The Umbrella Show Dan Allen, Paul McCaffrey and Sam Stone preview their Edinburgh show. Cella, 8pm, £5

20 latest 7

Sarah Millican's Not Nice A modernday Joyce Grenfell, she explores the other side of the tracks. Komedia, 7:30pm, £5.

➧ For full listings go to latest7.co.uk/listings

John Davies looks at non-fiction. New books featuring cycling mums, the French and alcohol dependency Based in Chichester, Summersdale Publishing is one of the UK’s top independent non-fiction publishers. It’s also an integrated media group offering books, DVDs, audio books and podcasts. They publish over 700 books including titles such as Voices from the Front Line, Love Puppies and a Dictionary and Phrase Book of French Medical Terms. It’s a vibrant and eclectic list, promoted on a website that’s easy to use, informative and makes the most of online video. Recently released is a humorous look at the French from Mimi Malone, Ooh la la! How to be Infuriatingly French. It appears to be the kind of book you buy for your Francophile aunt for her 80th, but on closer look this is one of those little gems that becomes a cult classic in the loo. For a start it’s beautifully produced and the illustrations by Kath Walker are pungent and apt. The book is divided into eight short sections with topics like Food and Drink, Out and About, Commerce, Rules and Bureaucracy and Attracting the Opposite Sex. The approach is light-hearted but you can still glean plenty of cultural detail. If you’ve already said hello to someone “you can greet them with a ‘Re-bonjour’, or simply growl ‘Re’ at them.” When posing for a photograph the French don’t say ‘cheese’ but “prefer instead to say ‘ouistiti’. It means ‘marmoset’.” The cover illustration of Ooh la la! features a lady on a bike and Cycling in Sussex features two local cycling mums from Hassocks, Deidre Huston and Marina Bullivant, who must be very chuffed with their first publication, the third title in Vertebrate Publishing’s very worthwhile Off-Road Trails and Quiet Lanes series of family and leisure cycling guidebooks. Deidre’s a teacher and photographer and both talents come through in this well laid-out, wellillustrated, easy-to-follow guide. All the routes are very understandable. It’s the ideal book for cycling families wanting to explore West and East Sussex over the summer holidays. I’m looking forward to trying some of the High Weald routes in September but there are coastal paths, disused railways and cross country routes with information about where to stay, local amenities (like the pubs) and the really important information about how hilly the route is! My final choice this week reminds us of the tremendous damage alcohol can cause. Alcoholism: The Family Guide has a powerful cover with the title in very big letters, which may put some people off. But this is a book everyone who enjoys a glass or two should read. Interestingly, it’s published by an imprint of poetry publisher Forward Press, who are presumably doing penance for all those drunken bards. It’s written by Samantha Harrington-Lowe, a journalist specialised in lifestyle issues. Samantha’s mother, an alcoholic, died when she was 18, so she has personal experience of the issues she writes about. Samantha quotes the BMJ in her introduction: “Between 1991 and 2005, deaths attributable to alcohol almost doubled.” “There are hundreds of thousands of people in the UK today who have a serious drink problem.” It’s often difficult to face up to, but she urges all of us to look at our drinking habits and face facts. “The biggest hurdle when tackling an alcohol issue is coming to terms with the fact that you have a problem.” This is an important and timely book. The drinks companies always rabbit on about responsible drinking as if the constant increase in the amount of alcohol in a bottle has nothing to do with it. If they really wanted to encourage responsible drinking they would give this book away free at supermarkets, pubs and off-licences. And perhaps instead of persecuting our young people and herding them from park to park across Brighton, the boys in blue could offer some friendly advice and pass on a copy to kids who need help.

Coming up… Just announced from Brighton-based author Anna Rushton, How To Kill Procrastination – must read that next week. See www.catalystonline.co.uk Horseplay, open mic – music and poetry, writing and mayhem. Tuesday 29 July, 7:30, The Mad Hatter, Western Road, Hove Writing Room – Creating Time and Space for Your Writing, Saturday 26 July, Brighton Writers’ Centre, 49 Grand Parade, Brighton 01273 571700 Let me know of any new books or events you’re planning for the autumn. Email writeclub@thelatest.co.uk


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STAGE



STAGELISTINGS

From Tuesday 15 July to Monday 11 August Barney Live! The Let’s Go Tour, Wed 23 July Connaught Theatre, Worthing

BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org The Dying Song Dramatised concert exploring the dying art of Baithak Thumri. • Fri 18 July, 8pm, £12.50/10 The Sun Dragon • Sat 26 July, 11am and 3pm, £tbc

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Meredith Willson’s The Music Man American musical classic starring Brian Conley. • Tue 15 July-30 August, please call venue for show times, £12–£36 Six Characters in Search of an Author Luigi Pirandello’s probing drama that blurs the border between fiction and life. • Tue 15 July–23 August, please call for show times, £25 Collaboration A composer and writer embark on an artistic partnership. Minerva Theatre. • Wed 16 July-Sat 30 August. Please call for show times and prices. Taking Sides By Ronald Harwood – to complement Collaboration. • Mon 21 July–Sat 30 August. Please call for show times and prices. The Circle • Tue 22 July–29 August, please call for show times and prices

• Wed 6–Thu 7 August, please check with venue for show times/prices.

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE

NIGHTINGALE THEATRE

01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk The No 1 70s Show Fashion and music from the decade that invented disco. • Wed 16 July, 7.30pm, £14.50–£15 Copacabana The Rattonians’ feel-good musical of boy-meets-girl and a budding star. • Wed 23 July–Sat 2 August, 8pm, Thu and Sat mat 2.30pm, £10–£14

01273 709709 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk Loveplay Historical comedy exploring the many sexual encounters on the same London location over 2000 years. • Tue 15–Fri 18 July, 7.30pm, £8/6.50

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Come on, Jeeves. Victor Spinetti and Anita Harris star in this spiffing Wodehouse comedy. • Tue 15–Sat 19 July, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Run For Your Wife Hilarious farce about a London cabbie with a wife in Streatham and one in Wimbledon! • Mon 21–Sat 26 July, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Relatively Speaking • Mon 28 July–Sat 2 August, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Don’t Look Now • Mon 4–Sat 9 August, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 See How They Run • Mon 11–Sat 16 August, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50

THE OLD MARKET, HOVE 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk She Stoops to Conquer • This show takes place at St Ann’s Well Garden. Book through the Old Market box office. Wed 16–Sun 20 July and Wed 23–Sun 25 July, 7pm, £10/6 Streetfunk: Straight Up A spotlight for the raw hip hop talent of Brighton and Hove. • Sun 20 July, 2pm and 6pm, £7/5

NEW VENTURE THEATRE 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Three Tall Women Exploring the life and experiences of three unnamed title women. • Sat 19–Sat 26 July, please call for show times, £8.50/7

THEATRE ROYAL 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroya Crown Matrimonial The crisis of when Edward VIII insisted he would marry the woman he loved. Patricia Routledge stars. • Mon 14–Sat 19 July, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm mat Thu and Sat, £17-£27 Slapstix – Cirque Hilarious Surreal comedy meets acrobatic mayhem. • Mon 21–Sat 26 July, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm mat Thu and Sat, £14–£24 Eurobeat: Almost Eurovision (Sarajevo) . • Mon 28 July–Sat 2 August, contact venue for show times, £15.50–£25.50 Elvis is in the Building • Thu 7 August, 7.30pm, £18–£23

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Barney Live! The Let’s Go Tour • Wed 23 July 4.30pm, and Thu 24 July at 11am and 2pm, £12/10

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE EASTBOURNE: WINTER GARDEN 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk In Dreams • Sun 3 August, 7.30pm, £16.50

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Lazy Town Live! Live show based on the hit children’s series. Moves, music and fun!

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Ice Times with Nicky Slater An evening with the popular judge from Dancing On Ice. •Fri 18 July, 7.45pm, £16.50/14.50 Glen Miller Orchestra •Sun 3 August, 7.45pm, £14.50–£16.50 Secret Love: The Amazing Kathy Kirby Story •Thu 7 August, 7.45pm, £14.50/12.50 That’ll Be The Day •Fri 8 August, 7.45pm, £18–£20

If you would like to comment on these stories please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

Just the ticket New venue, new CEO and a new ticketing system for Brighton-based Komedia Expansion is top of the list for Komedia this summer as the awardwinning live entertainment company in Brighton announces a new venue, a new CEO and a new ticket system. At the end of June, Komedia signed and exchanged lease papers with Bath and northeast Somerset Council, granting the company permission to begin building works and refurbishment in the former Beau Nash cinema. Komedia directors, along with architects Stubbs Rich and builders Sturland, expect to open the new venue in November 2008. Komedia Bath was set to open in late 2007, but delays in planning meant the project was put back. Colin Granger, co-founder of Komedia, is delighted: “We’re over the moon Komedia Bath is now but a few months away from completion. We’ve got a superb design from our Bath architects, Stubbs Rich, to convert the former ABC cinema into a live arts venue and have already started work with Sturland Builders on transforming this wonderful building into a fully working space once again.” Following this news Komedia have also announced they have appointed a new CEO to oversee the operation of their venues. Ranjit Singh took over as CEO at the beginning of July. The role was initially held by Colin Granger, and has most recently been in the stewardship of Chairman Richard Smith. Ranjit has previously worked for The Body Shop, with responsibility for

opening outlets throughout the United States and a spell at the innovative Yo! Sushi restaurant. Ranjit previously worked with Komedia director Richard Daws at Brighton-based production company Victoria Real. During their tenure Victoria Real became one of the fastest growing private companies, ranked 4th in The Sunday Times Fasttrack. Post Victoria Real, Ranjit returned to the States to work for Virgin Drinks, heading up a joint venture with The Firm, Hollywood's largest music and film talent management company. In order to streamline the two venue’s websites and ticket booking processes, Komedia have launched a brand new ticketing system in partnership with Dublin-based TicketSolve. Over recent months, events, venues and festivals have been the subject of increasingly negative ticket talk, with major ticketing systems crashing due to high demand or technical faults. The perceived dominance of a select few ticketing agencies fuelled discontent over a number of matters, affecting both consumer and venue alike. TicketSolve aim to eradicate this discontent by providing a system that allows venues to ticket their own events through an online complete ticketing solution. Tim Hawkins, Komedia General Manager states, “It’s exactly what we, as a growing group of live entertainment venues, need from a ticketing system. It has the potential to revolutionise the market.”

Abc Edward Albee’s classic Three Tall Women at the New Venture Edward Albee’s modern classic Three Tall Women will end the NVT’s diamond season in style this July. The 1994 Pulitzer Prize-winning play is a profound meditation on personal identity and memory, exploring life and experience through the eyes of the three unnamed title characters. An elderly woman, known simply as A, reflects on her life and relationships, accompanied by her carer, B, and is visited by her solicitor, C. Timeless, eloquent and perceptive, Albee’s masterful exploration of the arc of a life is shot through with great humour, subtlety and sadness. 19–26 July, preview performance at 7.45pm on Friday 18 July. Performances start at 7.45pm, except Sunday and Monday evening. Sunday matinee performance at 2.30pm. Tickets cost £7 (£8.50 Friday and closing Saturday night) and can be reserved online at: www.newventure.org.uk or by calling 01273 746118. latest 7 21


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FILM 1himself. Following the recent death of his own daughter www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 15

Thursday 17

FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) 11.35, 4.30 HANCOCK (12A) 11.30, 12.30, 2.00, 3.00, 4.30, 5.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.30, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY (15) 8.45 JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 6.30 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.45, 1.15, 2.00, 3.30, 4.15, 6.00, 8.15 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 12.15, 2.00, 3.00, 4.45, 5.45, 7.30, 8.30 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 1.45, 5.00, 8.15 WANTED (18) 9.15

FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) 11.35, 4.30 HANCOCK (12A) 11.30, 12.30, 2.00, 3.00, 4.30, 5.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.30, JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH (PG) 11.45, 2.15, 6.30 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.45, 1.15, 2.00, 3.30, 4.15, 6.00, 8.15 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 12.15, 2.00, 3.00, 4.45, 5.45, 7.30, 8.30 SEX AND THE CITY (15) 8.45 SOON OF RAMBOW (12A) 10.30 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 1.45, 5.00, 8.15 WANTED (18) 6.45, 9.15

Wednesday 16 FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) 11.35, 4.30 HANCOCK (12A) 11.30, 12.30, 2.00, 3.00, 4.30, 5.30, 7.00, 8.00, 9.30, JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH (PG) 11.45, 2.15 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.45, 1.15, 2.00, 3.30, 4.15, 6.00, 8.15 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 12.15, 2.00, 3.00, 4.45, 5.45, 7.30, 8.30 SEX AND THE CITY (15) 8.45 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 1.45, 5.00, 8.15 WANTED (18) 6.45, 9.15

L7 lowdown  New releases reviewed

Films showing Friday 18–Monday 21 CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) FORMULA ONE GERMAN GRAND PRIX (U) HANCOCK (12A) KUNG FU PANDA (PG) MAMMA MIA! (PG) WANTED (18) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 15

Saturday 19

SAVAGE GRACE (15) 1.30 SFO. DON GIOVANNI (U/C) 6.00 THE VISITOR (15) 4.00

NANNY MCPHEE (U) 11.00 SUMMER HOURS (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

Wednesday 16 SAVAGE GRACE (15) 1.30, 6.30 THE VISITOR (15) 11.00, 4.00, 9.00

MAN ON WIRE (15) 11.00 ROH. SYLVIA (TBC) 4.00 SUMMER HOURS (12A) 1.00, 6.30, 9.00

Thursday 17

Monday 21

SAVAGE GRACE (15) 1.30, 6.30 THE VISITOR (15) 4.00, 9.00

SUMMER HOURS (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

Wall-E (U)  Director: Andrew Stanton Pixar blitz the opposition in this animated masterpiece. The story follows itty-bitty robot Wall-E (short for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class) who discovers a new purpose in life when he meets a sleek search robot named EVE. With a host of superbly imagined characters and a lead character who

utters no more than three words throughout, this is classic Pixar tomfoolery. Chuck in a whole bucket of cuddles, a refreshing dose of surreal humour, a touching environmental message and a race across space and you have pure, unadulterated cinematic pleasure. Showing at Cineworld and Worthing Craig Driver

Sunday 20

disagree how to share it. With a suitably Gallic cast including Juliette Binoche, Jérémie Renier, and Edith Scob, this is an intelligent account of the power of family. It’s defiantly French, but this is classy work in spite of the intellectual posturing. Showing at Duke of York’s

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Friday 18 SUMMER HOURS (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

www.cineworld.co.uk

Man on Wire (15) 

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 15

Thursday 17

HANCOCK (12A) 11.40, 1.00, 2.00, 3.35, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH 3D (PG) 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.45 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 12.50, 1.50, 3.15, 4.20, 5.40, 6.50, 8.10 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 12.30, 2.20, 3.25, 5.10, 6.10, 8.00, 9.00 SLEUTH (15) 11.00 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 11.10, 2.30, 5.50, 9.10 WANTED (18) 9.20

HANCOCK (12A) 11.40, 1.00, 2.00, 3.35, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH 3D (PG) 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.45 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.20, 12.50, 1.50, 3.15, 4.20, 5.40, 6.50, 8.10 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 12.30, 2.20, 3.25, 5.10, 6.10, 8.00, 9.00 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 11.10, 2.30, 5.50, 9.10 WANTED (18) 9.20

Wednesday 16

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) HANCOCK (12A) JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH 3D (PG) KUNG FU PANDA (PG) MAMMA MIA! (PG) WALL-E (U)

HANCOCK (12A) 11.40, 1.00, 2.00, 3.35, 4.30, 6.00, 7.00, 8.30, 9.30 JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH 3D (PG) 1.20, 3.50, 6.20, 8.45 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.20, 12.50, 1.50, 3.15, 4.20, 5.40, 6.50, 8.10 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 12.30, 2.20, 3.25, 5.10, 6.10, 8.00, 9.00 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 11.10, 2.30, 5.50, 9.10 WANTED (18) 9.20

Films showing Friday 18–Monday 21

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

WORTHING CINEMA 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Tues 15- Thurs 17 July

Tues 15 – Mon 21 July

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 5.15

MAMMA MIA! (PG) 2.00 (Thurs, Sat, Sun), 5.00 (Tues-Thurs), 8.00 (Tues-Thurs), 8.15 (Fri-Mon)

Tues 15- Mon 21 July

Fri 18 – Mon 21 July

HANCOCK (12A) 3.00 (Thurs only), (not Fri-Mon), 5.00 (Fri-Mon), 8.30 (Tues-Thurs)

WALL-E (U) 2.30 (Sat,Sun), 5.00, 7.15

22 latest 7

7 Selects

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Journey to the Centre of the Earth 3D (PG) Dir: Eric Brevig This new adaptation of Jules Verne’s classic tale of adventure is a somewhat hammy affair. Brendan Fraser, occasionally good when seen opposite a Mummy but usually as interesting as a pebble, takes the lead alongside a collection of misfits. Together they embark on a quest to find out what happened to Fraser’s missing brother, only to discover a fantastic but – oh, what a surprise – dangerous world in the centre of the Earth. The effects may be 3D but the characters and plot remain entirely two dimensional. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Summer Hours (12A) 

Dir: Olivier Assayas This latest French drama from Assayas (Irma Vep, Demonlover, Boarding Gate) follows the fate of a priceless private art collection, as family members

Dir: James Marsh This documentary takes a look at what is considered by some to be the artistic crime of the century, tightrope walker Philippe Petit’s daring, but illegal, high-wire routine performed between New York’s World Trade Centre’s twin towers in 1974. Marsh is better known for keenly observed efforts such as The King but this sees him finding a subject who is as much muse as he is acrobat. With an array of original footage this is right up there with Touching the Void for adrenaline-drenched nostalgia. Showing at Duke of York’s Craig Driver


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FILM

Let’s talk about sex Chris Waitt talks to Latest 7 on his confessional film A Complete History of My Sexual Failures How did you think this would work out as film project? I expected it to be really, pretty simple, that's probably because I’m stupidly naïve in these things, just as I am in relationships as well. Did the reality of making the film match your expectations? I thought it would be simple. Speaking to ex-girlfriends, finding out what was wrong. I thought they'd be pleased. It was way, way more difficult. Is it one big ego trip? I thought, ‘What the hell am I making this for?’ I either thought it was deeply self-indulgent or it must be some absurd ego trip, or it was just a bad idea. Although I think there may be elements of that in the film, in

the end it turned out to go way beyond what I expected. It did end up being very important in my personal life, it was cathartic. Was it difficult persuading people to invest in this as an idea let alone a film? Both me and the people putting the money into it thought it was an absolute disaster. The funding was withdrawn twice. And you know, what you see in the film is a call from the head of the film company, which was an actual call, you actually hear him saying he was going to shut the film down. How did your family respond? They laughed at some sections, but it’s not a normal family movie. The trouble was, a lot of the material in it was a lot of stuff they didn’t know. It turned out to be kind of like a huge convention; my aunts were there, my uncles, my cousins – they were all there. Why do you think the relationships you’ve had end up so extreme? I’m very good at the beginning of a relationship, I start off with big visions. I’m going to be a film-maker, and you’re going to be married to the hotshot film guy! And I’m going to cast you in a film! But pretty soon all that stuff loses its edge and they find out that I’m unreliable and useless. What new perspectives have you gained from the experience? I think I have enormously improved on a practical level. A number of things the ex-girlfriends talked about, you know my tidiness, my lateness, my personal hygiene, even my sexual performance, they’re things, you know, I’ve addressed quite a lot since the making of the film. And I think I’ve improved massively.

Also showing… A quick look at what’s on this week Hancock (12A) Dir: Peter Berg Will Smith plays alcoholic anti-hero Hancock, who, after a series of high profile embarrassments, hires Jason Bateman’s PR person to help improve his public image. With Charlize Theron as the woman both men want to be with, this is a fresh, funny send-up with Smith looking like a memorable anti-hero. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon & Worthing

Dancing Queen, Mamma Mia and other pop hits by the Swedish super-group. Meryl Streep plays the kookie mum while Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgård and Pierce Brosnan play the potential fathers. The music and the film itself a guilty, not so subtle treat. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon & Worthing

Kung Fu Panda (PG) Dir: Mark Osborne, John Stevenson When Po (Jack Black) appears to have all the markings of ‘The Chosen One’, the Kung Fu masters must train him before it is too late. Dustin Hoffman plays Po’s reluctant teacher, Angelina Jolie as Master Tigress and Jackie Chan as Master Monkey. Ian McShane is the voice of the villainous Tai Lung. Showing at Odeon

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (PG) Dir: Andrew Adamson The Pevensie children return to Narnia one earth year and hundreds of Narnian years later to join Prince Caspian’s fight to regain his throne. The animals, dwarves and mythical beasties steal the show. Eddie Izzard voices valiant mouseketeer Reepicheep, The Station Agent‘s Peter Dinklage and Warwick Davis turn up as dwarves Trumpkin and Nikabrik and Liam Neeson returns as good old Aslan. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing

Mamma Mia! (PG) Dir: Phyllida Lloyd A young girl spends 90 minutes trying to find her real father whilst singing along to

Sex and the City (15) Dir: Michael Patrick King The true chick-flick blockbuster. Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda’s

long-awaited big screen debut picks up where the series ended, with Carrie engaged to her Mr Big. Needless to say there’ll be complications on the way to Carrie’s big day. Expect everything from the series, plus all the best summer fashions. Showing at Odeon Wanted (18) Dir: Timur Bekmambetov Wanted is the story of 25-year-old nobody,

Wes (James McAvoy) whose life changes when he meets a woman named Fox (Angelina Jolie). After his father is murdered, the deadly sexy Fox recruits Wes into The Fraternity, a secret society that trains Wes to avenge his father’s death by unlocking his dormant powers. Showing at Odeon

Nick Aldwinckle

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

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For complete listings go to latest7.co.uk

Kemp Town late night shopping

ART

For complete listings go to latest7.co.uk

‘Untitled’ – Romany Mark Bruce

Word to the wise. Follow the discerning bunch heading for Kemp Town Village for a spot of late night shopping this Tuesday 15 July. You’ll find small, independent stores rammed to the rafters with goodies that you won’t find anywhere else in the city. Locals rarely stray further than this slice of retail heaven. They know they can find special, covetable treasures on their doorstep delivered with top customer service. There are delis, cafés and bars to loll in and places to have your locks tended and your back rubbed. A place to be nourished and nurtured rather than buffeted and budged. Potter about for your groceries, filling your basket with delights from the award-winning butcher, the greengrocer and the deli. Nip in and out of the shops to gather up vintage delights, traditional toys, irresistible clothes and gifts for all ages. On Tuesday 15 July there are sales previews, enticing offers just for this night only and even taster massages at the Pummel Store if all that bag carrying gets too much. Kemp Town Village. St George’s Road. Tuesday 15 July from 6-9pm

EVENTSLISTINGS Tuesday 15 Brighton Treasure Hunt Use the clues and work your way from the Pavilion to the pier. 4-5 Pavilion Buildings, call Louise on 07791 298097. www.treasuredays.com Kemp Town Village late night shopping Browse popular independent chains including Cupcake. St George’s Road, 6-9pm Local Produce Market Fresh Sussex produce including egg, pies, fruit and veg. Paradise Park, Avis Way,Newhaven, from 9am

Saturday 19 Eastbourne Extreme Free two day event of

air, land and water outdoor pursuits offering taster sessions, plus fairground rides. Also Sunday 20 July. Eastbourne Extreme, free. Eastern end of Eastbourne seafront. Tel 0871 663 0031

Sunday 20 NSPCC’s Sussex Big Bike Ride Come along and take part or lend your support. Christ’s Hospital, from 9am, info: 0207 825 2691 Rare and Traditional Breeds Show Over 500 cattle, sheep, pigs, goats and poultry. Weald and Downland Open Air Museum, 01243 811363. £tbc.

Nude to rude Impure Art gallery deals in art broadly described as ‘anything from nude to rude’. From sensual feminine paintings, through to humorous illustrations, sculptures and saucy neon signs, to fetish photography and fine erotic jewellery. The gallery’s self-imposed brief is to sell top quality art which fits the ‘impure’ remit, along with a range of erotic books, gifts and cards. Established names such as Ray Leaning, Jamie McCartney, Romany Mark Bruce and Eve Poland rub shoulders with rising stars like Robert Babylon, Sara Abbott, Pearl Bates and Vassoss Shirialis. Future exhibitions will see new artists being regularly introduced and new artworks added every week. IMPURE ART will also have a tent at Pride this August and welcomes artists from the LGBT community to submit their work. Impure Art, 13 Ship Street Gardens, Brighton

ARTLISTINGS 6 BRISTOL STREET Bird Lofts and Bird Hubs Chris Murphy showing and selling his work in the garden. 13 & 20 July, 11am–6pm

IMPURE 13 Ship Street Gardens New ‘erotic’ gallery next to erotic boutique Until 31 August, Mon–Sat, 10am-6pm

ARTISTS AND MAKERS FESTIVAL Various venues 01903 219116 Artists and Makers Festival . Until 20 July

Q 15 St John Street, Lewes, 01273 487849 Summer Show Featuring Susan Ashworth, John Skinner, Emma Wilson. 12 July – 10 August, Tues–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 1–5pm

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Chinoiserie in Britain 1650–1930 Until 2 Nov Stephen Creffield: Along the Shore . Until 10 Aug Forests of Gold: Kingdom of the Asante Marking 50 years of Ghana’s independence: Until 3 Aug, Tue 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm CRANE KALMAN 38 Kensington Gdns, 01273 697096 Karine Laval: Leisure Photographer on the notion of ‘leisure’. Until 20 July Jeff Divine: Surfing’s Golden Age: The 70s Kodachromes Until 29 July, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10:30am–4:30pm

ST PAUL’S CHURCH West Street, Brighton Temporarily Now Artwork and photography created by people recovering from drug and alcohol problems. Until 10 August, Tues–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 1–5pm UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON Grand Parade, Brighton, 01273 643010 3rd Dimension Until 3 September, Mon–Sat 10am–5pm Chinoiserie in Britain 1650–1930 @ Brighton Museum and Art Gallery

INK_D GALLERY 96 North Road, 01273 645299 Pure Evil This show looks at what lurks around the corner on the secret streets of London. Until 2 August, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm

24 latest 7

 To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk


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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

NEWS Digital music Wired Sussex, the digital support outfit for Sussex has just launched this year’s Brighton Internship Programme. This initiative provides opportunities for graduates to get involved in grant-supported training with one of 22 digital media companies, including web, games, TV and music businesses, all based in Brighton. Interested applicants should visit www.wiredsussex.com

Hove, actually Several Brighton bands played Norway’s Hove Festival in late June. Read a full report on http://latest7.co.uk/articles, which includes reviews of Brighton acts The Kooks, Foals, and Blood Red Shoes plus many more. Battles

The good fight Reluctant ‘math-rock’ scene leaders, Battles, return to the Concorde 2 this week. Nick Aldwinckle spoke to drummer John Stanier Foals

‘I’m on the beach!’ N*E*R*D, The Streets and McFly form the lineup for Vodaphone TBA, held on Brighton beach on 10 August. N*E*R*D will be premiering tracks from their new album. Vodaphone customers will have the opportunity to win tickets to this year’s event by texting ACTS to 61500. Otherwise, the event will be televised on T4. The event will be hosted by TV presenter and radio DJ Dave Berry. N*E*R*D

Ready steady glow Eastbourne seafront is home to some raw musical talent at this year’s Eastbourne Festival on the weekend of 19 to 20 July. Accompanying the adrenaline-fuelled weekend of extreme sporting activity (powerboating, windsurfing, free-running, biking etc) are ten local bands performing on the bandstand including To The Moon Alice, Blah Blah Blah and Your Friends Are Architects. www.eastbourneextreme.co.uk

To feature in music email music@thelatest.co.uk

‘Math-rock’ is a term bandied about a lot at the moment with the underground gone over-ground success of Brighton-based quintet Foals. They were influenced by a group of older American musicians formed by ex-members of some of the first wave of US bands given that tag in the nineties. Battles (good friends with Foals) came together when former Helmet and current Tomahawk drummer John Stanier joined with math-rock stalwarts Ian Williams on guitar (from Don Caballero) and fellow guitarist Dave Konopka (from Lynx). They met Tyondai Braxton, son of avant-jazz man Anthony Braxton, providing vocals and keyboard parts, and the band responsible for one of last year’s most acclaimed albums, Mirrored, was born. Mirrored is a fusion of jazzy guitar, distorted samples and the most distinctive dance floor ethic around. Playing with themes of light, symmetry and the ‘machine sound‘ – compared to the early EPs’ ‘nature sound‘. Drummer John Stanier is keen to point out the band has lost none of its passion. “We wrote these songs fully aware we’d be playing them for the next two years, so we made sure they were songs we liked.“ The band begin the songwriting process for their long awaited second album proper in October, as they are “not the kind of band that can write on tour“. Stanier’s other band, Tomahawk, are also due to start recording a fourth album soon, so his last few busy years show no sign of letting up. Stanier may not hate his songs, but he and the rest of the band do hate the term ‘math-rock’. They repeatedly dismiss it when told that’s what they are, and to read it so often in this article will irritate the hell out of them. “It’s so inaccurate and such an old term. I don’t think any of us sit around listening to math bands. It’s got negative connotations, sounding boring – prog-rock, lame.

I hate it when people call us ‘math-rock’ but on the other hand I can see people’s need to categorise.” It’s surely understandable, then, that ‘math’ gets applied to the band’s work as they employ a technique pioneered by vocalist Ty’s father using geometrical diagrams when writing songs. Stanier sees it as a necessary part of making their complex songwriting process easier. “We work on one song for a bit, then another, then back to that one. At first we tried to record our rehearsals but that became a pain in the ass. It’s easier writing it down. It’s a very mathematical process. We give specific parts weird, memorable names, making it easier to remember. There are so many parts; you can’t just put ‘bass part’ or something. You have to name it, so that’s what we do.” Though a ‘super-group’ of sorts, Battles is a band for which the music itself is key to their image. Unlike other high-profile collaborations, where band members’ personalities are almost more important than the music, Stanier explains this band is different. “We didn’t want to emphasise what bands we were in. I wouldn’t say we’re imageless. We’re not a boy band, but it’s more just about Battles and something new and fresh. We didn’t want to imply it was a sideproject. We wanted it more real than that.“ Battles last played Brighton a year ago, at the Concorde 2. Stanier remembers it as a ‘cool place’ and is a big fan of Quadrophenia – filmed in the area. After playing a storming Glastonbury set where they ‘destroyed the place’, the band are on good form, despite the cancelled Wild In The Country festival they were due to play, which he describes as ‘totally f**ked up’. Ready to conquer a sold out Concorde once again, Battles should be one of the best gigs of the summer. Battles, 15 July, Concorde 2

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MUSIC

MUSIC Jeremy Warmsley

Cut Off Your Hands Anglo-Kiwi indie hopefuls with a crazy name. Epic, post punk in places, emo-esque in others, these Auckland/London boys are making waves here in the UK and beyond and recently appeared here in Brighton as part of The Great Escape festival. Tuesday 15 July, Freebutt Rumberos de Cuba Features some of the finest musicians and dancers from the barrios of Havana, many of them past members of the acclaimed Conjunto Folklorico Nacional de Cuba, performing Cuban rumba. With nine musicians/singers and two dancers. Wednesday 16 July, Komedia Jeremy Warmsley + Liam Finn + Esser + Absentee + So So Modern A Transgressive Records night featuring the ultra intelligent quirky pop of Mr Warmsley and the similarly upbeat piano pop of new signing Liam Finn, son of one of the Crowded House Finn brothers. Real songs, with real stories from both as well as others on this impressive bill. Thursday 17 July, Audio Elliot Minor Blink 182 and Queen are influences in the classically-minded sound from this popular UK emo band. Friday 18 July, Concorde 2

Playgroup Fantastic late night party romp with live bands including Brighton’s eight-piece dub and reggae band Dub Octopus, funky hip hop outfit Ruderalis, Gogol Bordello influenced gypsy folk band Deathray Debauchery and Sheffield’s carnivalesque ska band Bison. Plus DJs in all three rooms of the venue. Always a blast. Friday 18 July, Concorde 2 Incognito Quick follow-up to their sell-out show last January, Bluey Maunick and band were at the forefront of the jazz funk scene back in the 80s. R’n’B, jazz and Latin flavours continue to inform their groove-laden songs, as evidenced by their new album Tales From The Beach. Saturday 19 July, Concorde 2 Lyrics Born Tokyo-born and American residing rapper; a whirlwind of activity including releasing his fourth album, heading up Quannum Projects and gigging all over the world. Minimalist groves, punk-funk and futurist electro informs his work that ranks him up there with the likes of MIA, Gnarls Barkley and Kanye West. He’s also one of the most licensed hip hop artists around; you can hear his work via corporate behemoths such as Diet Coke, Motorola and Nokia, as well as on loads of TV programmes and film. Monday 21 July, Komedia

Elliot Minor

SEX & THE CITY NIGHT

with this is

Elvis

the best girl’s night out ever!

Friday 25 July 01273 687171 form joogleebrly erry brighton’s sexiest music

Steel City Tour Three giants of Sheffield pop on one bill: The Human League, ABC and Heaven 17. Friday 5 December Brighton Centre, 01273 290131

UPCOMING GIGS Easy Star All Stars 22 July, Komedia Lightspeed Champion 23 July, Concorde 2 Hot 8 Brass Band 30 July, Digital Black Seeds 1 August, Komedia Judy Collins 2 August, Komedia kd Lang 3 August, Dome Henry Rollins 13 August, Komedia Loop Festival 16 August, Victoria Gardens Martha Reeves 18 August, Concorde 2 Beachdown Festival 22-25 August, Brighton Van Morrison 19 Sept, Dome British Sea Power 2 October, Corn Exchange Sam Sparro 3 October, Corn Exchange Art Garfunkel 6 October, Dome Seasick Steve 7 October, Dome Michael Bolton 6 October, Brighton Centre Stephen Stills 10 October, Brighton Centre Moody Blues 11 October, Brighton Centre

Cajun Dance Party 13 October, Concorde 2 Dr John 21 October, Dome The Hoosiers 25 October, Brighton Centre Level 42 30 October, Dome Hot Chip 5 November, Dome Motorhead 6 November, Dome Scouting For Girls 3 Nov, Brighton Centre Alphabeat 3 November, Concorde 2 Mercury Rev 11 Nov, Dome Katie Melua 11 November, Brighton Centre Cardiacs 17 November, Komedia Will Young 4 December, Dome Human League 5 December, Brighton Centre Neville Staple 6 December, Concorde 2 Jools Holland 6 December, Brighton Centre Status Quo 12 December, Brighton Centre Katherine Jenkins 15 December,B’ton Centre Maddy Prior 15 December, Hove Centre

Want to sing? Explore your vocal potential and develop your natural ability to sing in any style. Gain confidence and control with professional singer/songwriter/teacher and performer.

Contact Hanna on 01273 731643 / 07814 711531 e: hanna@hannaburchell.co.uk Reasonable rates

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If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk


027_LS381 music_reviews jeff

7/10/08

3:03 PM

Page 1

MUSIC

MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases Gentle, harmony-rich, string-laden and time-worn country flavours permeate the new album by Micah P. Hinson and The Red Empire Orchestra. There’s an upbeat skip to the music, counteracted by Hinson’s weary, gravelly voice that belies his 27 years. Young folkie Seth Lakeman is a hard-working fellow, constantly gigging and playing the festival circuit, crossing over into non-folk terrain and Micah P. Hinson and The winning hearts and minds with his Red Empire Orchestra energetic live shows. Although lyrically he’s sometimes bogged down in the fogs of his Dartmoor past, Poor Man’s Heaven is really a rather groovy, dancey album – big on rhythm, and small on fiddle-dee-dee. Still going strong after over 20 years in the physically-sapping world of hioctane rock’n’roll, Primal Scream deliver another superb album Beautiful Future. Another heady mix of Philly soul, dark electro, rock’n’roll riffing, and pop, guests include CSS’s Lovefoxx, folk singer Linda Thompson and Queens of the Stone Age Josh Homme. The first half is classic Scream, the second half drifts somewhat down narcotic avenues. Brighton’s Drookit Dogs have their debut album out now, a collection of some of their live favourites over the last couple of years mixed in with some newer tunes. Gypsy punk/folk mixed in with rockier 70s style sounds and new wave-esque tunes. Matt White sneers and sarcasts his way beautifully throughout this dynamic album. Fat Cat label artist Max Richter is embracing the 21st century with 24 Postcards in Full Colour, an exploration of the ringtone as a vehicle for music performance. Hence, these short vignettes are simple compositions, often repetitive or with a simple melody attached. Nevertheless there is a heavyweight intellectualism at work here, with premieres planned for art galleries via the use of SMS messaging. Music as art… Carl Barat and Dirty Pretty Things continue to operate in the shadow of Pete Doherty – despite Barat being closer to the musical template of The Libertines than his former colleague. Romance at Short Notice may have sad and overly angst-ridden teenage overtones, but musically it’s still raw and rocking stuff, complete with unpredictable song structures. A grower. If waltzing, boogaloo ska, carnivalesque beats, fairground jazz, voodoo vibes are your jivebag then look no further than the awesome Bristol band Zen Hussies, a favourite on the festival circuit and always guaranteed to make you smile. New album Continental Adaptor is out now, and it swings and swaggers throughout. Strokes geetarist Albert Hammond Junior continues to make excellent music on the side via his solo moniker. Second album Como Te Llama is Strokesque (with little hints of Big Star/Alex Chilton), and with those typical Television/New York new wave motifs, but Hammond is a very talented songwriter, and quality song craft shines throughout.

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.latest7.co.uk/chart Or hear the full chart with Jeff on Radio Reverb, 97.2fm every Tuesday 4-6pm/12-2am Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10

★ 1 Portslade – Girls and Boys ★ 2 Dates – Thief 3 Cakeboy – Damage featuring Frances Law 4 Jonny Loves House – Not Just In My Head 5 Electralounge – South Of Normal 6 Mean Poppa Lean – Ain’t Nobody 7 Django Spears – No Limit 8 Leo Altarelli – See It Now 9 The Eric Experiment – I Think It's Impossible 10 Cath O’Drae – Mugged by the System Portslade’s radical take on Blur’s ‘Girls and Boys’ still looks insurmountable at the top of the chart. Likewise, retro rockers Dates remain at number two, the nu-rave(ish) Cakeboy moves up to three and country types Electralounge move down to five. The only new addition to the top five is the does-what-it-says-on-the-tin Jonny Love House. 11 Kiyomori None of the Above 12 Hatchdown Come Down Easy 13 Caramel Jack We Could Build Skyscrapers 14 XamXam Bu Ngen Munt 15 Digitalis No Control 16 Friday Night Hero Our Time 17 Little Black Number Who is Number One 18 Cath O’Drae Sofageddon 19 Tractor Countdown Love’s Elusions 20 The Mighty Rivals Arise 21 Bastion Trust Me 22 Eminemmylou The Way I Am 23 Bucket-Joy Jaded 24 My Fabric Changes 25 Chris T-T A-Z

26 Loc E Chemical Romance 27 Project Lumino Sun 28 Damn Dirty Humans You’re So Retro 29 The Pulse Used In Part 30 sMs I’m Sorry Dave 31 Without Warrant Stop the Machine 32 She Said 200 Years 33 ThePrjctMyhm FreeForAll 34 Millsy Poop Song 35 The Miserable Rich Over and Over (Hot Chip cover) 36 Thoughts Collide I’ll Buy You a Megaphone 37 Villareal We Must Stop Meeting Like This 38 Afterspark Little Glow 39 Dan Sumner Glitterball 40 Hold Fire Emma-Louise

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2 COURSES AND A GLASS OF WINE THE BRASSERIE LATIN IN THE LANE FISH & GRILL 10–11 Kings Road, Brighton, 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina East Sussex BN1 1NE Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 328672 01273 698989 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking. Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people. Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.

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joogle week two

7/11/08

11:05 AM

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former joogleb ly erry brighton’s sexiest music bar

PARTIES

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EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY FROM 10.30PM

BOOM BOOM SALOON WHERE ANYTHING GOES!

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wednesday world music Spanish week with flamenco band The Guiris and dancers wednesdays 16 th

£8/£6 – 8pm 17 th

thursday The Reckless Sons

Coolest American rock band of the moment are in Brighton for an industry showcase gig – open to the public – plus the splendour £free – 8pm 18 th

friday the weekend starts here

Live acoustic lounge with Nashville’s Suzahn Fiering £free – 7.30pm Downstairs Boom Boom Saloon £free – 10.30pm till late

19 th

saturday soul & swing

OTB Soul for classic Motown and soul, guaranteed sellout book now! £12.50 8pm downstairs Too Darn Hot with Rockin’ & Rhythm - 30s/40s swing band party like it’s 1939! £5 8pm upstairs followed by Boom Boom Saloon £free – 10.30pm till late

sunday roast ’n jazz 20 th

new summer roast menu

with guitarist Luke Rattenbury £10 incl sunday roast served 12.30 to 3.30pm

argentine tango

With Guillermo Rozenthuler from Argentina, dance or just listen and soak up the atmosphere £8 8.30pm to 1pm workshop 6.30pm £15

monday magic with the great lycra plus guests 21 st

FREE LATE NIGHT LIQUOR LOUNGE

Fast paced magic , card tricks, rabbits… and humorous banter £6 – 9pm

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029_LS381_music_listings

7/10/08

1:04 PM

Page 1

MUSIC

For complete listings go to latest7.co.uk

MUSIC&CLUBLISTINGS 15 – 21 July Tuesday 15 Live Music BandBazi: A Place For Us Music, poetry and discussion event to mark the start of Refugee Week 08. Pavilion Theatre, 7:30pm, £3–£7 Battles Musical pioneers featuring former members of Helmet and Don Caballero, and one of the best live bands around. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £10 Cut Off Your Hands London/New Zealand indie pop guitar gang. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £tbc Escape to Victory Open Mic Open mic goodness. The Victory, 8pm, free Live Acoustic Lounge Acoustic showcase. Joogleberry Playhouse, 7:30pm, free Open Mic Duke of Norfolk, 9pm, free Take Note Live band showcase. The World’s End, 9pm, free Trosseaux Interesting, accomplished mix of dark electro, prog and trip-hop. Prince Albert, 8pm, free Bars and clubs Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 Digital Glitterati. A classy night for students and their friends. 11pm–3am, £4/3 Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and emo mash-up. 10:30pm–2am, £2/1 Po Na Na Tap. Go urban with bassline, hip hop and R’n’B. 11pm–4am, £5/4 NUS Tru Cherry Drop. Student night with club anthems, classic house, R’n’B and drinks promos. 10:30pm–2:30am, £2/1 Water Margin International student party. Student exclusive. Drinks deals all night. 10pm–5am, £5/3/free b4 10:30

Wednesday 16 Live Music Breakthrough with Rough Trade: Bands TBC Weekly unsigned music night. Brighton Coalition, 7:30pm, £4/3 Buskin’ Band Night New bands’ showcase. Thomas Kemp Pub, 8:30pm, free Gimp Country-tinged rockers from Belgrade (kind of). Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc The Guiris ‘World Music Wednesday’ Flamenco event. Joogleberry Playhouse, 7:30pm, £6–8 The LayLana’s + The Beautiful Word + Luke Hyttner A somewhat mellower night than normal. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £tbc Les Enfants de L’Espoir Children’s choir from Besancon, France. St Mary de Haura, 7:30pm, free Live Music TBC The Fiddler’s Elbow, 8pm, free OK Acoustic Live acoustic showcase. Western Front, 8pm, free Rumberos de Cuba Cuban rumba from Havana. Komedia, 9pm, £10 The Ryes Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £tbc Bars and clubs Audio Supercharged. Mid-week breaks session with Lady Waks, Rico Tubbs, and Atomic Hooligan. 10pm-2:30am, £3–£5 Funky Buddha Lounge We love 90s. A dose of 90s nostalgia with all the chart smashing classics. Plus 90p drink promos. 90p. Contact venue for details

Thursday 17 Live Music Absentee Mark Lanegan, playing brass with Roxy Music, perhaps. Or a distinctive London four-piece. Audio, 8pm, £7 All Turn Native: By Definition + Thieves By The Code Alternative live music and DJs night. Prince Albert, 8pm, £3 Artrocker Night: Live Music TBC The popular music mag’s club night with live indie action. Water Margin, 8pm, £3–£5 Eve Selis Acclaimed Americana siren. Ravenswood, Sharpthorne, 8:30pm, £9–£11 Jeremy Warmsley Catchy singer-songwriter who’s worked with Beirut, The Shins and Regina Spektor. Audio, 7:30pm, £tbc Live Music TBC Duke of Norfolk, 9pm, free



Chuck Berry, Camp Bestival, Lulworth Castle, Dorset, Friday 18th

Live Music TBC Fiddler’s Elbow, 8pm, free Reckless Sons Classic-influenced modern rock. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £tbc Sofa Sessions Open mic. Juggler, 9pm, free The Winchell Riots + -a+m + Everyone to the Anderson + 129 Die in Jet New and innovative music night. The Hope, 8pm, £5 Bars and clubs Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Cabaret Capers and outrageous stage games. 10pm–3am, £1.50 NUS, £3 others Audio Mad for it. Brighton’s legendary indie night. 10:30pm–2am, £1.50 NUS, 3 others Funky Buddha Lounge Back to ours. An eclectic mix of funk, hip hop and rare groove. Free before 12, £2 after Honey Club Contagious. Southern FM’s Paul Hillyer joins Howie, Ben and guests to break out the classic house and dance anthems. 10:30pm–3am, £1–£3 Po Na Na Off the Wall. Funk, soul and Motown from the 50s to present day. 10pm–3am, £2 Volks Totally Underground. Old Skool, Jungle, hardcore and dubstep. 11pm–4am, £tbc Water Margin Artrocker. Experimental electro & indie. 8pm–3am, £5/3 before 12

Friday 18 Live Music Andrew Ballantyne Baroque, classical and romantic pieces played on golden harp. St Lukes Church, 7:30pm, £4-£6 Babies: Flashguns + The Crane Brothers A night of screamy new music. The Hope, 9pm, £5/4 Camp Bestival Kate Nash, The Flaming Lips and Chuck Berry headline the debut sister event to Rob Da Bank’s sold out Bestival. Also featuring the likes of Billy Bragg, Hercules and Love Affair, Black Kids, Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong and The Wurzels! Lulworth Castle, Dorset, 12pm, £120 Captcha First Birthday Party: My Tiger My Timing + Alex Gigante + The Lazy Bullets + The Woo!worths + Left Hand Red + Transformer The indie club night celebrates its birthday. Brighton Coalition, 7:30pm, £4/3 Elliott Minor + The Days Brit emo upstarts du jour. Concorde 2, 7pm, £10 Live Acoustic Lounge with Suzahn Fiering Acoustic showcase with a special guest from Nashville. Joogleberry Playhouse, 7:30pm, free The Mad Max Duo Rock, r’n’b and blues. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free Outhouse Brighton Jazz Club event. Komedia, 8pm, £8/6 Soul Sisters Amateur divas showcase. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Sweet Hove Chicago Seven-piece blues band. Joogleberry Playhouse, 7:30pm, £5 Wooden Shjips + The Heads Great oldfashioned US psychedelia. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £5 Bars and clubs Arc Sweet & Dandy. 60s night. 11pm–3am, £3 Audio Battlejam. Legendary improvised hip-hop, jungle, D’n’B and breaks night with live battles, guests tbc. 11pm–3am, £tbc Digital Stone Love. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll with regular live DJ guest and NMEfriendly bands. 11pm–3am, £6/5 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock, alternative and indie night for eyeliner’d up boys and girls in PVC. 11pm–2am, £5/4/3 Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk it’s Friday. Start the weekend with Sean Quinn’s party tunes. Feel the Magic! 10pm–3am, £7/5/Free before 11:30pm The Funkyfish club. Soul, funk, old skool breaks, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £3.50/5 Honey Club Pukka up. Take a big spoon to the week’s dessert with Manifesto party, ‘demonstrate your right to party!’ Playing house til dawn. 10pm–4am, £10 Komedia Born Bad. Red hot rockabilly, greasy R’n’B, 60s garage, surf, sleaze, exotica and girl groups. 11pm–3am, £6/5 Ocean Rooms Somewhere in the Universe.

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details

Henron launches his usual frenzy of new music with added brow sweat. 10pm, £8/7 Pavilion Tavern Kick out the Jams. Rock’n’roll mayhem with indie anthems, punk and alternative. 10.30pm–3am, £4/3 NUS Po Na Na Ice Box. Cool funky house night for a dressed-up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4 NUS Tru Club Generation. Mainstream dance, R’n’B, cheesey 70s and 80s hits. 10pm–3am, £10/8 Volks Dubpressure. Serious dubpressure spun out through a 16k funktion one soundsystem for unadulterated ear-bleedin’ rhythms. Guests tbc. 11pm–4am, £5 before 12 more after

Saturday 19 Live Music Incognito Genre-fusing veterans, blending funk, jazz and latin flavours. Concorde 2, 8:30pm, £tbc Kroon Kat Lounge: The Hepkat Huzzahs and Nicky Mitchell Popular big band jazz night. Komedia, 9pm, £14–17.50 Los Fantasticos Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc OTB Soul Club Classic soul and motown. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £12.50 Patchfest 08 Community festival featuring live bands, family activities and even a beer tent! William Clarke Park, off Lewes Road, 2pm, £tbc Perry Stone Live music and audience participation. Geminis, 8pm, free Stay Sick Club night with live music and DJs playing rock and roll. Hector’s House, 8pm, free Supper Club: Alison David Red Snapper collaborator. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £7–£10 The Alter Eagles Eagles tribute band. Worthing Assembly Hall, 8pm, £12.50–£14 Bars and clubs Audio Summer of love. Free party with CagedBaby. 10pm–3am, Free Brighton Coalition Pop Musik. Launch night fiesta with unadulterated pop pleasures, wonky one-hit wonders and classic hits from the 60s to now. Time to stop repressing your pop fantasies and get off the bandwagon. 10pm–4am, £10/8, £12/6 in adv Digital Junkbox presents. With De Puta Madre. 11pm–4am, £12/10/8 Engine Rooms Classic rock. Classic Rock and metal night from AC/DC to Zeppelin. 11pm–3am, £5 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco. funk, house and rare groove from Juice FM’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Funky Fish The Funkyfish club. Soul, funk, oldskool breaks, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £3.50–£5 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house with very special guests. 10:30pm–5am, £12–£5 NUS Ocean Rooms Electro-sexual. The launch party. More details tbc. Followed by Blow the elektro after party. For the rhythm induced insomniacs, £tbc. Contact venue for details. Pavilion Tavern Mod for it. Park up your vespa and slick your hair for mod tunes from The Who, Kinks and more. 10pm–2am, £5/4 Tru Glitterbaby. Grab your ‘smart jeans and fashion trainers’ for commercial chart tunes played across three rooms. 10pm–3am, £10/7 Volks Darklight. Returning after escaping for winter, Darklight presents DJs Randall, D-Bridge

and Break hamming up some uber drum’n’bass with hip hop and breaks in room two. 10pm–5am, £6 before 10.30 pm, £8 after Water Margin Throw Up and Die. Two of the UK’s finest electronic/hardcore party starters play the launch night of new avanty-pop-indienoise-disco. 9pm–2am, £6/5 Water Margin Logo. Future heroes to world famous DJs spin all things house for those still refusing to go to bed. 2am, £7/5 b4 2:30

Sunday 20 Live Music Are You Experienced? Hendrix tribute show. Komedia, 8:30pm, £12 Cat Dog Alternative music night. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free Free Range Open mic. The Fiddler’s Elbow, 8pm, free Guillermo Rozenthuler Argentine tango singer. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8:30pm, £10 Liza is Divalicious Catty vocalist rips all asunder. Marlborough Bar and Theatre, 9pm, free Roast ‘n’ Jazz: Luke Rattenbury Lunchtime with jazz guitarist Rattenbury. Joogleberry Playhouse, 12:30pm, £10 inc full roast dinner Runaway Free live music. Geminis, 8pm, free Sunday Roasts and Live Music TBC Duke of Norfolk, 12pm, £tbc Sunday Sessions: Live and Unplugged Live acoustic showcase. Western Front, 7:30pm, free Sundays Espanola Live jazz and paella-a-gogo. Brighton Coalition, 12pm, free The Sunday Post Prince Albert, 5pm, £tbc T-Rextasy Acclaimed Marc Bolan and T-Rex tribute. Worthing Assembly Hall, 7:45pm, £14–£15.50 Bars and clubs Honey Club Sundelicious. DJs Salerno and Lee Garrett play soulful beats followed by jackin’ house and electro. How sinful. 10pm–3am, £2/1

Monday 21 Live Music Lyrics Born Rock, soul and funk influenced Tokyo rapper. Komedia, 8:30pm, £12 World/Inferno Friendship Society + Sweet Sweet Lies + Crazy Arm Brooklyn jazz/soul punks, supported by country-tinged Brighton mavericks. Prince Albert, 7:30pm, £tbc Bars and clubs Audio Audio’s fourth Birthday party. Decked out in retro-Olympic decor. DJs James Zabiela and Funk D’void plus favourite robodisco live act, Transformer upstairs. 10pm–2am, £5/4 NUS, Free with Audio Headband Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco/indie with most drinks £1.50 all night long. 10.30pm–2:30am, £3/2 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. Student friendly cocktail of funk, reggae, D’n’B, indie and pop. 10pm–2:30am, £3/2 NUS/£1 members Volks Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, basement, roots and revival plus drinks promos. 10pm, £3.50 b4 11, £4.50 after Music by Nick Aldwinckle Clubs and Bars by Jaime Pettit latest 7 29


030_LS381 gay news/will

7/10/08

1:36 PM

Page 2

LATESTGAY

See more at latest7.co.uk

Brighton’s only weekly gay guide

William Tells

NEWS

Will Harris ponders the whys and wants of gay parenting

Education to stop bullying Brighton and Hove City Council has been urged to make a commitment to stamp out homophobia in schools. The Green Group has called for the council to sign up to Stonewall's Education Champions Programme. Cllr Bill Randall, Green council spokesman on LGBT issues, presented a petition at a council cabinet meeting last week. He decided to put together the petition after Latest Gay told him about the national campaign. Cllr Randall said: “Green Party councillors wholeheartedly support this important initiative. Children who learn in schools that homophobic bullying is unacceptable and can destroy lives will carry that message into their adult life in the work place and the wider community. “We presented a petition to the Brighton and Hove City Council cabinet meeting urging the council to sign up to the programme. We are confident this will be done at the earliest opportunity.“ Education cabinet member Vanessa Brown said she would look closely at the idea. She added that the authority was already working hard to combat homophobic bullying. She said: “We work closely with schools in trying to eradicate it. We have anonymous surveys every year about bullying and we take it very seriously.“ Stonewall staff and the charity’s co-founder Ian McKellen met with Gordon Brown recently to discuss projects such as their ‘Education for All‘ programme. Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall, said: “The Prime Minister offered his full support to the work we’ve been doing in tackling homophobic bullying in Britain’s schools. He promised that the Government wanted to do more in this area. He clearly had a really good understanding of the damage that bullying can do.“ The first members of the Education Champions Programme are Birmingham City Council, Wigan Metropolitan Borough and the London Boroughs of Waltham Forest, Brent and Southwark. Stonewall's recent School Report found two thirds of LGBT pupils were regularly victims of homophobic bullying and 98 per cent regularly heard insults such as “bender“, “queer“ and “dyke“.

Pride access for all Pride and the Brighton & Hove Federation of Disabled People are working together to improve accessibility to this year’s parade and park event on Saturday 2 August. These include a pre-booked park-and-ride service, accessible toilets and a viewing platform to watch the parade. These options will need to be booked through the Federation of Disabled People at www.bhfederation.org.uk These new facilities are in addition to the access tent run by Spectrum and Brighton & Hove Federation of Disabled People, signers and support on access needs from Pride organisers. Pride trustee Kath Browne said: “LGBT people who have access issues can experience exclusion both from LGBT activities, 30 latest 7

communities, venues and events as well as from disabled activities, venues and events. We are building each year to make the full breadth of Pride’s activities accessible. We hope this year’s improvements will enable more LGBT people to come to Pride and celebrate their lives.” Geraldine DesMoulins, chief officer of Brighton & Hove Federation of Disabled People said: “As part of our commitment to improve accessibility in the city, we are delighted to be working with Pride to improve accessibility to this important event.”

I have a confession to make, and I really hope you won’t think any less of me for it: children frighten me. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not scared of them in the same way I’m scared of spiders or the sight of denim jackets on anyone over 35, but there’s something about kids that always puts me on edge. Of course it’s a totally irrational fear, this sense of supreme awkwardness whenever I see a little face staring up at me, and I’ve never quite been able to put my finger on the cause of it. Could it be that children make me nervous because of what they represent: that white-bread idea of the traditional family unit? Something which, deep down, I’ve always presumed I’ll never have? Since civil partnerships were introduced, increasing numbers of gay couples have been trading in the parties and poppers of their singledom for a life of smug married bliss, with everything that entails. And by everything that entails, I don’t just mean hers and hers matching pyjamas and Sunday afternoons spent tinkering with the lawnmower. I’m talking kids. The gays want to raise a family! Obviously, I don’t have a problem with this (I’m all for it, so long as my ex doesn’t settle down before me). I’m just not sure if it’s for me.

“Did anyone call my mother an unfit parent because she couldn’t prise the custard creams from my grubby little paws?” Leaving aside the fact that my friends have pretty much unanimously vetoed the idea of me ever breeding (“You’d leave it in a shop!”), I don’t know that I’d ever have the energy to raise a child, much less to deal with all the obstacles and criticisms that I’m told raising a child in a gay family would invite. I barely have the energy to finish this column, and I’m being paid for this! The problem is that there’s something about the idea of gay parents that sends a shiver down the spine of middle England. Some argue that same-sex parents will naturally – or rather, unnaturally – threaten the sexual identities of their progeny; others that gay couples lack the long-term stability of straight marriages. Perhaps most worrying of all is the notion that these kids will inevitably be bullied because of their parents’ sexuality. Children get bullied for a whole range of reasons. I was bullied for being fat, but did anyone call my mother an unfit parent because she couldn’t prise the custard creams from my grubby little paws? Aren’t they missing the bigger picture here? Which is that the real root of the problem is homophobia from the kids’ peers, not anything lacking in gay parents themselves, or their children; and that their misplaced concern for the future of the nation is actually contributing to that homophobia, and making life more difficult for those they’re seeking to ‘protect’. Maybe then, as a gay man the thing that scares me most about children isn’t that I might not have them. Maybe, just maybe, it’s that I might.

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 152 ACROSS: 1 Consternation 7 Burglar 9 Lemur 10 Rhetoric 11 True 13 Treaty 15 Collop 18 Rope 19 Chemical 22 Piece 23 Mottled 24 Disrespectful. DOWN: 1 Cabaret 2 Nurse 3 Tolbooth 4 Axle 5 Immoral 6 Nerve 8 Ruin 12 Dogmatic 14 Express 16 Paludal 17 Sham 18 Rapid 20 Calif 21 Dene. Solution to Quick 152 ACROSS: 1 Toad-in-the-hole 7 Regorge 9 Enter 10 Arrogant 11 Rash 13 Eighth 15 Waiter 18 Book 19 Kindness 22 Ingot 23 Trenail 24 Gracelessness. DOWN: 1 Terrace 2 Anger 3 Irrigate 4 Even 5 Outcast 6 Earth 8 Erne 12 Baldness 14 Georgia 16 Results 17 Dirt 18 Being 20 Elate 21 Stye. © Crossword Shop

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031_LS381_gay listings

7/9/08

3:33 PM

Page 1

GAY

For full listings & venues go to latest7.co.uk

GAYLISTINGS 15–21 July Tuesday 15 Brighton Tavern Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus. 12pm, free. Amsterdam Curry Spice. Enjoy a curry, rice, poppadom and a Cobra beer for only £6.99. With the backdrop of a Bollywood movie! Bar open from 11am–11pm. Revenge Flashback. DJ’s Two-Foot and Lady P incite a little nostalgia with smash hit tracks from the 80s. 10:30pm–3am, £2/free NUS. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mill’s Music night. Music night from 9pm, free. Queen’s Arms Karaoke. Betty Swollocks. 9pm, free. Candy Bar Twisted Karaoke. Hosted by mistress of mic, Cat. DJ Rocket. 9pm–2am, free.

Wednesday 16 Candy Bar Featuring new nights on rotation. Check venue. 9pm, free. Queen’s Arms Mr Gay QA 2008. £100 to the winner and the Mr Gay QA Trophy. Bar open 12pm–12:30am. 9pm, free. Prince Regent Swimming Pool Out to Swim South. Swim Training session for the LGBT Community. 8:30pm, £4 per session or £20 annual membership. The Basement Play. With DJ Alex Baker. House. 11pm–4am, free.

Thursday 17 Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Cabaret capers with Dolly Rocket and Boogaloo Stu, fused with top rock ‘n’ pop tunes from Dynamite Sal. 9pm–3am, £5/3. Revenge Girls on Top. Brighton’s popular and fabulously trashy weekly lesbian night reigns supreme. With DJ Smiffy dolling out chart/pop/trash/r’n’b and party tunes. 10:30pm– 4am, free with passes from pre-bars or £4/5. Queen’s Arms Pride’s Got Talent. Heat seven of the talent show with the eventual winner getting to perform at Pride. 12pm–11:30pm. Star Inn Quiz Night. Food 12–3pm and 6pm– 9pm.



Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of anthems and funky house, hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with DJ Tony B. Plus uber drinks promos. 10pm, £4/3. The Basement Sessions. with DJ Eddie K. 11pm–3:30am, free.

Friday 18 Legends Terrace and bar open all day. 11am–5am, free. Revenge 18th Birthday Spectacular. Revenge is coming of age, so join the lollipop girls for a very special birthday bash, with an exciting PA joining Stewart T and two floors of house delights. 10:30pm–5am, free before 11pm. £7/5 after. Queen’s Arms Andy B’s Camp Attack. From 9pm get nostalgic with Andy B’s tunes spanning the decades. Plus an opportunity to win some lemonade cash with Open the Box. 12pm–1am, Candy Bar Booty Call. DJ Rocket plays a mix of urban grinds and pop anthems. 9pm, free. The Basement Celebration. Miss Dolly Rocket presides over the ultimate gay party. DJs Steve Lush and Alex Baker play girly pop and handbag tracks. 11pm–4am, free before midnight, £4 after. R-Bar Ssh...They are having a Secret Disco. Warm up to the weekend with Kate Wildblood and Queen Josephine spinning their unique blend of soulful funky house. 9:30pm, free. Star Inn The Return of Friday Bears Inc. Guest DJs, playing uplifting funky house and pop remixes from 8pm–1am. Food Served daily from midday till 3pm. 9pm, free.

dolling out dangerous house upstairs. 10:30pm, £5 before midnight, £7 after. R-Bar Kinky. The early session. A pre-clubbing crowd stretch out ready for Kinky Dangerous with new boy on the block, Jozzie O playing some seriously funky house. 9pm, free. The PV at The Jury’s Out Matty Eeles and Saturday Madness. Matty Eeles returns to the PV with her blend of blues and jazz from 4.30pm. Taking over is one of the PV’s resident DJs to keep you bumping ‘til late. Queen’s Arms Saturday Afternoon Live. Vocalists, comedians, drag (3:30–5:30pm) and Karaoke with Kamp Kevin. Expect to be entertained! 12pm–12:30am, free. Candy Bar Sugar. Brighton’s best girl DJs. Including Golden Handbag Award winning best female DJ Queen Josephine. 10pm, £5.

Sunday 20 Po Na Na Cash Queen. The glam yet affordable night with DJs Mick Fuller and Freddie Thomas. 11pm, £7. The Basement Embrace. With G.A.Y DJ Nick

Shepherdson. 11pm–3:30am, free. R-Bar Lazy Sundays. Rose Garden Live from 7pm. Followed by RUSH149 til midnight with funky house DJs and drinks promos. 12pm–2am. Audio Sunday Sundae. Get whipped up in the weekends flirty dessert, with an eclectic mishmash of old skool and club favourites. All served up by DJs Richard Jones, Diablo and Kate Wildblood. 6pm, £3/4/5.

Monday 21 Queen’s Arms Cherry Poppin’s Karaoke Show. Showtime is 9pm, free. R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. Regular Monday night cabaret show with Miss Jason, showtime from 10pm. Bar 12pm–2am, free. Candy Bar Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix. 10pm–2am, £3/2. Amsterdam The Monday Musical. Join the staff at the Amsterdam for a screening of a classic musical, teamed with some fresh popcorn and late night bar. 8pm, free. Dynamite Boogaloo, Arc, Thursday 17

Saturday 19 Star Inn Bear Essentials. Resident DJ Charlie spinning his usual blend of funky house tunes. Food 12–4pm. Bar open 12pm–1am, free. The Basement Ignition. Ignite your life at Brighton’s latest gay popular saturday nighter with the cool dance sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free before midnight, £5 after. Revenge Kinky Dangerous. Party tunes downstairs with Dulcie Danger and cohorts © Chris Jepson/LondonClubland.com

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details

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6:42 PM

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latestTV  Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Living With... The Cheeky Girls Wednesday 9 July, 9pm. Living TV The Cheeky Girls have a show of their own. And if I am to be completely honest, I will probably watch it out of sheer curiosity, but I won’t tell anyone I have so I’m trusting you to keep that quiet!? I have never fully understood the point of these two girls but I have always been slightly curious about how they keep their confidence up so high! They clearly think very highly of themselves – even on the adverts for the show there are quite a few images of them sitting randomly in bikinis taking pictures of themselves. And then there is the relationship between Gabriela and the MP Lembit Opik! Which, let’s face it, is a bit weird. Although they both have wonky mouths so quite potentially match very well. And there is the rumour that they all live together in one big happy house – that’s Gabriela, Monica their mum and the MP. What more could you want from a reality TV series?

“Being Transylvania’s second best export is a weird title to give yourselves but they seem happy with it” I am kind of surprised this hasn’t happened before. We have either used up all our reality TV resources or the rumours that the Cheeky Girls are going bankrupt is true! Either way it will give us something odd to look at. Being Transylvania’s second best export is a weird title to give yourselves but they seem happy with it – and let’s face it, they have got to make the most of things haven’t they? There are also rumours that their younger niece will be releasing a single, no doubt managed by the mother who helped come up with such classics as ‘The Cheeky Song (Touch my Bum)’, ‘Take Your Shoes Off’ and ‘Have a Cheeky Christmas’. Perhaps a drinking game could come of this – every time they say “Cheeky cheeky” in that irritating and upbeat way they do, you should down a shot of whatever it is that takes your fancy (not that I am condoning Cheeky Girl-influenced drinking, but it may make the show even more fun!). Perhaps they have a new single they want to release, or perhaps the mum is trying to set up her own clothing line, full of tiny sparkly shorts and cut-off T-shirts with “Cheeky” written across the front. Believe it or not I have run out of things to say about the Cheeky Girls. Which to be frank says everything about the Cheeky Girls. I am sad and therefore I will probably watch this. It is in no way something I would cancel plans for, or, come to think of it, move across the room to fetch the remote control for. But it will be entertaining in the same way Jordan and Peter are! 32 latest 7

Films on TV

15 – 21 July

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 15 25th Hour ★★★★✩ (2002, BBC1, 11.25pm. Dir Spike Lee) Spike Lee caught the post-9/11 American mood with this classy drama about a drug dealer (Edward Norton) drinking and scheming through the last 24 hours before he goes in the slammer. So does he stay and face the music, or do a runner? Watch and find out…

WEDNESDAY 16 What’s Love Got To Do With It

★★★★✩ (1993, BBC1, 11.10pm. Dir Brian Gibson) Angela Bassett channels Tina Turner in this barn-storming adaptation of her warts ‘n all autobiography, I, Tina. The scenes of one-time hubbie Ike (played by Laurence Fishburne) beating her up are understandably vicious, but the mood is lightened by plenty of polished dance numbers.

SATURDAY 19 Derailed ★★✩✩✩

THURSDAY 17

(2005, BBC1, 10pm. Dir Mikael Håfström) Chicago family man Clive Owen falls for femme fatale (no, really) Jennifer Aniston in a tepid thriller that nevertheless has a fantastic cast. When the couple check into a seedy motel, an intruder means it’ll be a night they both remember for all the wrong reasons.

The Conversation ★★★★✩

Jackass: The Movie ★✩✩✩✩

(1974, Sky Movies Indie, 2.20pm. Dir Francis Ford Coppola) This paranoid remake of sixties art house classic Blow Up finds Gene Hackman as a geeky surveillance agent obsessed with a snippet of recorded conversation. His life slowly falls apart as he discovers the shadowy organisation he spies for might just be spying on him.

(2002, Channel 4, 10.10pm. Dir Jeff Tremaine) Johnny Knoxville and co took their distinctive brand of lowest common denominator TV stunts straight to the big screen in this bewilderingly successful flick. If watching rednecks and assorted freaks clamp baby alligators to their nipples is your bag, then please – have it.

FRIDAY 18

SUNDAY 20

Lolita ★★★✩✩

The Lonely Guy ★★★★✩ (1984, BBC1, 11.05pm. Dir Arthur Hiller) Comedy writer Neil Simon scored an uncharacteristic miss when he helped pen the script for this early80s turkey. Steve Martin tries to play it straight as a melancholy New Yorker who’s just been dumped by his girlfriend, but you get tired waiting for the laughs to arrive.

(1962, More 4, 9pm. Dir Stanley Kubrick) Stanley Kubrick attempts to film the unfilmable in this controversial adaptation of Vladimir Nabakov’s infamous semi-pornographic novel. James Mason plays the tortured anti-hero Humbert Humbert, a man who develops a rather unhealthy (and maybe murderous) obsession with his landlady’s little girl.

Weird Science ★★✩✩✩ (1985, Sci-Fi, 10pm. Dir John Hughes) A couple of friendless nerds manage to conjure the perfect pixillated hottie (Kelly LeBrock) out of their computer in this none-more-1980s teen flick. Average vintage yuks are there for the taking, but some of the dialogue (and most of the sexual politics) look as rickety as their ancient computer.

MONDAY 21 True Lies ★★★✩✩ (1994, ITV1, 10.40pm. Dir James Cameron) Arnold Schwarzenegger is as good as he ever gets in this entertaining action comedy in which he plays a special agent who has to fight terrorists while hiding his chosen profession from her indoors (Jamie Lee Curtis). He can’t do comedy, but Jamie more than makes up for it.


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tuesday 15 10 Years Younger Channel 4, 8pm Nicky Hambleton Jones and her team have got their work cut out – keeping a straight face. Lovely Marilyn Cooke has backcombed her 80s hair and attacked it with giant hairspray cans for decades, and her orange complexion and ill-fitting dentures don’t help matters. Can the gang help. Or is it The Time Warp again?

Olympic Dreams: The Class of 2012 BBC1, 10.35pm We’ve spent all the dosh, we’d better have some hope of scooping up some of the sparkly things they hang around necks at the end of each event. This is the first in a four-part series looking at the youngsters of now we’re hoping will be the winners of 2012. Time to feel inadaquate.

Smallville: Superman The Early Years E4, 9pm & 10pm It’s a new series – yay! And Kara’s here – yay! And Clark starts hearing his mother’s voice from Kara’s crystal – eh? Yes, parental communication has always been what Krypton crystals have been about. Then, a fella plants a bomb on Chloe to force her to find out about 33.1.

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BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash in the Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 ChuckleVision 4.05 Prank Patrol 4.10 Dinosapien 4.33 The Owl 4.35 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Bianca realises where Whitney’s money has come from, but will she do the right thing? Or will she just sing it accompanied by the rest of her brood – stage school, lovey. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Linden treats the conjoined twins’ mother. Back from South Africa, Faye finds herself faceto-face with another member of the Byrne family. More Dallas than Holby here. Paging Doctor Drake Romoray... 9.00 Bonekickers The discovery of 18th century bones in the Bristol Channel brings to light an extraordinary conspiracy – anyone who has investigated the final journey of the Somerset ship in the last 200 years has died in suspicious circumstances. So they’re going to stop, right? Right? Anyone? 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Olympic Dreams: The Class of 2012 See highlights. 11.25 FILM: 25th Hour (2002) Starring Edward Norton, Philip Seymour Hoffman. Crime drama. 1.30am Weatherview 1.35 Sign Zone: Springwatch 2.35 A Taste of My Life 3.05 Bargain Hunt 3.50 Joins BBC News

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 9.10 Charlie and Lola 9.25 Fimbles Songtimes 9.30 Big Barn Farm 9.45 Nina and the Neurons 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 FILM: Father Came Too (1964) 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living in the Sun 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News and Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier (x2) 10.00 ER 11.00 Without a Trace 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 The Class 1.00 Will and Grace 1.25 Supporting Acts 1.40 Desperate Housewives 2.35 Desperate Housewives 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Love’s Unending Legacy (2007) 5.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Test Cricket 11.00 World Motor Sport 1.30pm Speedway: World Cup 4.30 Live Pro40 League 10.00 Countdown to the Ryder Cup 2008 10.30 Poker 11.30 Countdown to the Ryder Cup 2008 12.00am Football Asia 12.30 Golf Night 1.30 Countdown to the Ryder Cup 2008 2.00 Poker 3.00 Countdown to the Ryder Cup 2008 3.30 World Motor Sport

6.00 Eggheads Go quiz-lightening! 6.30 Animal Park The safari park vet has come to perform an essential procedure on two female lions. 7.00 Return to... Airport Jeremy Spake and his fellow Heathrow residents take us back to the early days of the ‘fly on the tarmac’ series about the world’s busiest airport. 7.30 Return to... Airport ...And there’s more – Jimmy Cricket. 8.00 Sport Mastermind Des Lynam hosts a spin off series of the classic quiz. It’s a cracker! 8.30 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage Francesco da Mosto continues his journey, sailing from Venice to Istanbul. The coastline is stunning but he cannot avoid the scars of war that followed the collapse of Yugoslavia. 9.00 Jimmy Doherty’s Farming Heroes Jimmy’s travelling the country to meet the people shaping the future of British farming. He starts his journey in the East, where the farming’s about big machines and large-scale production. 10.00 The Culture Show Lauren Laverne gets an exclusive TV interview with David Simon creator, executive producer and lead writer of HBO’s cult TV series The Wire. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Reputations Frankie Howerd. 12.20am Sport Mastermind 12.50 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Andy’s jealousy escalates as Jo starts work at the Woolpack. Are you lookin’ at ma woman?! 8.00 Send in the Dogs A look at the work of the Metropolitan Police dog unit. During the day, spaniels are sniffing out drugs on the streets of Camden, while in the dead of the night, German shepherd dogs will ‘track and attack’ armed robbers. Bonza rhyming, coppers. 9.00 Doc Martin The Doc is having trouble with one of his elderly patients – who smells so bad that no one can bear to be in the same room. The Doc has the task of trying to discover the cause. Tricky. 10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Kingdom Lyle helps local horse trainer Herb, who wants to lease a nearby field for his prize racer. When he visits the field he is horrified to discover a group of travellers have set up camp, and demands that Lyle gets rid of them. 11.40 Confessions Holiday reps lift the lid on their working lives. 12.10am Bingo Night 1.15 Hack 2.05 Loose Women 2.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.50 Moving Day (x2) 4.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Life at the McQueens is awkward with the overnight arrival of John Paul. Niall’s determined to stop Kieron catching up with JP and encourages him to concentrate on a new life in Aberdeen. He’s the designated baddie, don’t listen to a word! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.50 The Seven Wonders of the Muslim World 8.00 10 Years Younger See highlights. 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Janet S-P faces the emotional prospect of sending her veal calves for slaughter. The recipe challenge sees Jessica Hynes cooking macaroni cheese. Someone not feeling well? Oh, not just comfort food then. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house. 11.05 Reaper Sam must deal with a toxic revenger when the escaped soul of a chemical company’s CEO starts taking human lives. The Devil delivers Sam’s contract as promised. 12.05am Shariah TV 1.05 The Artemis Transat Race 1.30 KOTV 1.55 FIA GT Championship 2008 2.20 Big Brother Live 4.20 Adrenalin Rush 4.45 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 5.10 Shariah TV

6.00 Home and Away Annie confronts Melody about her strange behaviour around Axel. Geoff vows to punish Axel for what he did. Took your time beefcake boy. 6.30 Wild Animal ER Les performs a dramatic rescue when a deer falls down a ten-foot well. Did Lassie tell him about it? 7.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 Extraordinary Animals A raven in Austria has astounded scientists with his amazing intelligence and creativity. 8.00 Hitler’s Secret Bunkers: Revealed Historical documentary exploring a vast network of Nazi bunkers in Berlin. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation A man incriminates himself when he falls in cement while trying to transport his wife’s dead body. D’oh! 10.00 CSI: NY The CSIs investigate the murder of a scientist and probe the death of a college student. 11.00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit When a young boy is kidnapped by a schizophrenic, Stabler and Huang uncover further crimes at an adult group home. 12.00am The FBI Files 1.05 Major League Baseball 4.20 Motocross of Nations 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Showjumping 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Speedway World Cup 12.30pm Bowls 1.30 Bowls 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 7.00 Countdown to the Ryder Cup 2008 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Bowls 1.00 Bowls

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Wild Spirits 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Bowls 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Showjumping 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Bowls 4.00 Bowls 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Football Asia 7.30 Motor Racing: Heritage Grand Touring Cars 8.00 Bowls 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 11.30 Pool: World Cup of Pool 12.30am Ironman Triathlon 1.30 NFL: Total Access

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Wonderfalls 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm in the Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Road Wars (x2) 10.00 Street Wars 11.00 FILM: Saving Private Ryan (1998) 2.15am Road Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle (x2) 9.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Summer Heights High 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Britain’s Missing Top Model 12.45am Sasha: Beauty Queen at 11 1.40 The Real Hustle (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Voyages of Discovery 9.00 What Happened Next? 10.00 The Armstrong and Miller Show 10.30 Beau Brummell This Charming Man 11.50 The Twenties in Colour: The Wonderful World of Albert Kahn 12.50am What Happened Next?

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.00 Coleen’s Real Women 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Streetmate 9.00 FILM: The Saint (1997) 11.20 FILM: Nick Of Time (1995) 1.10am ITunes Festival 2008

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Pie in the Sky 3.05 On the Buses 3.35 On the Buses 4.05 Great Garden Detectives 5.10 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 7.55 Pie in the Sky 9.00 Clocking Off 10.00 Taggart 11.35 Robin of Sherwood 12.45am Maigret 1.40 P D James: Black Tower

12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x2) 8.30 Friends 9.00 Smallville (x2). See highlights. 11.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.30 Big Brother: Live

6.05pm Deal or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 River Cottage: Gone Fishing 10.00 True Stories: Stanley Kubrick’s Boxes 11.05 FILM: The Day Of The Fight (1951) 11.25 Father Ted Christmas Special 12.35am The Closer 1.35 True Stories

11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed 5.00 Charmed 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Make Me A Supermodel US (x2) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Private Practice 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

6.20pm Last of the Summer Wine 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 The Vicar of Dibley 10.20 The Worst Week of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 The Vicar of Dibley 12.20am The Worst Week of My Life

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.15 Coupling 11.55 South Park 12.25am South Park 12.55 Sex and the City

4.00pm Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How Do They Do it? 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Survivorman 10.00 Alaska: Surviving the Last Frontier 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 Most Evil 2.00 Forensic Detectives

1.00pm Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Force of Impact (2005) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Bedazzled (2000) 11.50 FILM: Hercules and the Amazon Women (1994) 1.40am The Lost World 3.00 Angel

2.45pm White Savage (1943) 4.15 Three Faces West (1940) 5.50 The Disorderly Orderly (1964) 7.25 A Touch of Larceny (1959) 9.00 I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969) 10.45 The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner (1962) 12.40am Look Back in Anger (1958)

12.35pm Letters From Iwo Jima (2006) 3.00 Best (1999) 4.50 The Tango Lesson (1997) 6.35 Neil Young: Heart of Gold 8.25 Factotum (2005) 10.00 Suicide Kings (1997) 11.50 Cinema Paradiso (1988) 2.45am Indie Close-Up 3.10 Remnants of Everest: The 1996 Tragedy (2007)

1.00pm Johnny O’Clock (1947) 3.00 Appointment in London (1953) 4.50 Carrington VC (1954) 7.00 The First Wives Club (1996) 9.00 The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Give yourself nightmares with the big tsunami effects – THAT’S why you live by the sea. 11.20 Taxi Driver (1976) 1.30am L.I.E (2001)

9.00am Penelope (1966) 10.50 Scaramouche (1952) 1.00pm Wives and Daughters 3.00 The Sandpiper (1965) 5.05 The VIPs (1963) 7.15 Code Name: Emerald (1985) 9.00 Fame (1980) 11.30 Cannery Row (1982) 1.40am The Liquidator (1966) 3.25 Tribute to a Bad Man (1956)

Classics

Indie


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wednesday 16 Room 101 BBC2, 10pm It’s the time of the self-deprecating celebrity as Sheila Hancock tries to put herself in Room 101. Could this be because of all the fun things she’s seen go in there over the years? Things look even more suss when she adds ‘men like David Beckham’. Paul Merton wrestles with the canny clever lady.

Wife Swap USA Channel 4, 11.05pm What do you do when you really are married to a cowboy (no plumbing involved)? Apparently you swap families with a lady who claims to be supervisor, manager and CEO of her family – but doesn’t like to get her hands dirty on a day-to-day basis. Can the cowboy learn to cook? Will the boss try out the factory floor?

Snog Marry Avoid? BBC3, 12.15am Claiming to be the world’s first make-under show, the magic is taking a semi-naked orange harpy and turning her into a presentable young lady you’d feel safe taking home to mother. With a dead sarky computer – wonderful use of anonymity here – and a little commentary from Jenny Frost, we’re all set.

 terrestrial

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BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash in the Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 ChuckleVision 4.05 Young Dracula 4.30 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.35 Serious Ocean 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Heir Hunters Series which follows the work of teams of probate detectives, who track down missing family members of people who have died without making a will. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef In the first of the semi-finals, the four best celebrity cooks cater en masse for 600 brickies. 9.00 Cars, Cops and Criminals Three-part series examining the changing face of car theft. It shows the devastating effects of number plate cloning, and how one MP even managed to clone Gordon Brown’s official number plate. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.40 The Visit A sheep has mysteriously got into Radford’s visiting room and Bamford has taken drastic action to solve the problem. 11.10 FILM: What’s Love Got To Do With It? (1993) Starring Angela Bassett. Tina Turner biopic. 1.05am Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: Mary, Queen of Shops 2.10 The Man with 20 Kids 3.00 A Taste of My Life 3.30 Bargain Hunt 4.15 Joins BBC News

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Bob the Builder: Project Build It 9.10 Charlie and Lola 9.25 Fimbles Songtimes 9.30 Big Barn Farm 9.45 Nina and the Neurons 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 Earth: The Power of the Planet 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Open Gardens 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News and Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier (x2) 10.00 ER 11.00 Without a Trace 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 The Class 1.00 Will and Grace 1.25 Supporting Acts 1.45 Desperate Housewives (x2) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy

6.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.10 FILM: Time To Say Goodbye? (1997) 5.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Eggheads Quiz-a-lickin’ good! 6.30 Animal Park Love is in the air at Longleat safari park today, or so Deputy Head Warden Ian Turner hopes, as a couple of rhinos go on a date. Feelin’ horny? 7.00 Timewatch: Hadrian’s Wall Hadrian’s Wall has stood as the Roman Empire’s most imposing frontier and one of the unsung wonders of the ancient world. Almost 2,000 years after it was built, it is proving to be a magical time capsule – a window into the human past. 7.50 Coast 8.00 Sport Mastermind Des Lynam hosts a spin off of the classic quiz. 8.30 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage Francesco is sailing into the Bay of Kotor where Venetian sailors knew they were leaving safe waters for the dangers of pirates and the ships of rival powers. 9.00 Tribal Wives The Maasai are one of the world’s most famous tribes. They are polygamous and women are expected to marry at the age of 14. Living with them for the next month is teacher and life coach Dionne Braham. Life coach?! 10.00 Room 101 See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Golf: The Open Preview 12.00am Sport Mastermind 12.30 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Terry regrets allowing the factory to relocate to the B&B. Whose numbskulled idea was that anyway? 7.30 Coronation Street Michelle sets Steve up for a fall. S’easy. 8.00 The Bill Smithy is still undercover, working for arms dealer Darren Cutler. Stevie is posing as Smithy’s girlfriend and surprises him with a passionate kiss – but is it just for Cutler’s benefit? Smithy is left confused. So are the rest of us. 9.00 Marco’s Great British Feast In this edition, he’s looking at ideas for appetisers. In Lymington in the New Forest he collects gulls eggs for a dish with celery salt. Then it’s smoked eel at the Severn and Wye Smokery, and that old classic, potted shrimp from Morecombe. 10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Six Degrees Whitney and Carlos are on the hunt for new apartments, and Carlos, Anya and Caseman’s lives change when a friend from the past returns. 11.40 ITunes Festival 12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.10 Quincy, ME 2.00 Hack 2.55 Loose Women 3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks John Paul and Kieron begin their first day as a proper couple, and as Kieron packs away his past they decide to celebrate with a day in town, finished off with a few pints in the Dog. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Seven Wonders of the Muslim World 8.00 Location, Location, Location A catch-up with lottery winners Roger and Lara Griffiths and with Anjie Tilley, an ex-army major who, having travelled the world, was ready to settle down. 9.00 Personal Services Required Working single mum AJ depends on au pairs to help look after her daughters, Virginie and Jocelyn. Karen and Joel Balducci are hairdressers who want an au pair to help look after their two-year-old daughter Sasha in their Essex home. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house. 11.05 Wife Swap USA See highlights. 12.05am Shariah TV 1.05 4 Music: Road to V 2008 1.20 4 Music: Gaymers Grassroots Gigs 1.30 4 Music: The Nokia Green Room 1.55 Stargate SG-1 2.40 Big Brother Live 4.25 Shariah TV 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away Geoff flies into a rage. Belle comes across a beaten and bruised Axel. Could the two be connected? Hmmm. 6.25 Football Live football action from Switzerland as FC Lucerne play host to the Premier League’s own Liverpool. Presented by Mark Chapman with commentary from Dave Woods. Kick-off is at 18.35. 8.45 Greatest Ever Disaster Movies Giles Coren presents a rundown of 40 of the world’s best disaster movies, as voted for in an exclusive poll of Five’s viewers and readers of The Times. Not Jimmy Carr?! How could this atrocity come to pass? A disaster in itself. 11.30 Lockdown Gritty documentary series plunging head-first into the world of America’s most dangerous prisons. The final programme of the series examines North Carolina’s Alexander Correctional Institution – a facility with a reputation for ultra-tough security and fearsomely strict rules and regulations. 12.30am PartyPoker.com European Open IV 2.00 European Drag Racing Championships 2.25 IndyCar 3.15 Rolex Grand Am 3.55 Race and Rally UK 4.15 UEFA Cup Classics 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Countdown to the Ryder Cup 2008 9.30 Golf’s Longest Day 10.30 Countdown to the Ryder Cup 2008 11.00 Golf: AIB Ladies Irish Open 12.00pm UIM F1 Powerboats World Championship 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 Countdown to the Ryder Cup 2008 1.30 Golf: AIB Ladies Irish Open 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Poker 4.00 Countdown to the Ryder Cup 2008 4.30 Live Pro40 League 7.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00am Football: UEFA Champions League 1.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Boots ‘n’ All 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 Soccer AM

Sky Sports 2 6.30am Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE 8.00 Golf’s Longest Day 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Football Asia 10.00 Pool 11.00 Poker 12.00pm Golf’s Longest Day 1.00 Pipeline Adventures 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Max Power 3.00 Golf’s Longest Day 4.00 Pipeline Adventures 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 LIVE Pro40 League 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Golf’s Longest Day 1.30 European Tour Weekly 2.00 Golf

Sky Sports 3 10.30am UIM F1 Powerboating 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Motor Racing: Heritage Grand Touring Cars 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Pool: World Cup of Pool 5.00 WW 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 Golf’s Longest Day 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 12.00am Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Rallyzone

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Wonderfalls 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm in the Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 9.00 FILM: Saving Private Ryan (1998) 12.15am Road Wars (x2) 1.40 Street Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 FILM: Tombstone (1993) 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Summer Heights High 12.15am Snog Marry Avoid? See highlight 12.45 Make My Body Younger 1.40 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 2.10 The Real Hustle

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Sahara with Michael Palin 9.00 The Thirties in Colour 10.00 FILM: The Bothersome Man (2007) 11.30 The Thirties in Colour 12.30am What Happened Next? 1.30 Samuel Johnson Prize 2008: The Contenders 2.30 The Thirties in Colour

6.05pm Judge Judy 6.35 Judge Judy 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Homes from Hell 2008 9.00 FILM: Open Water (2003) 10.40 ITunes Festival 2008 11.10 Coronation Street 11.40 Ghosthunting with... Radio One 1.40am Teleshopping 4.40 ITV2 Nightscreen

3.05pm On the Buses (x2) 4.05 Great Garden Detectives 5.05 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.40 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Drama Trails: Doc Martin To Foyles War 10.00 Lewis: Whom the Gods Would Destroy 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 Friends (x3) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Shameless 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother: Live 12.30am Big Brother: Live

5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 Kirstie and Phil’s Property Guide 9.35 Back to You 10.05 Father Ted 10.35 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 11.10 Dispatches: A Widow’s War on Yobs 12.10am The Closer

12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Diet on the Dancefloor

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.20 The Worst Week of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 Fawlty Towers 12.20am The Worst Week of My Life

3.00pm Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 The Sarah Silverman Programme (x2) 12.50 Sex and the City (x2) 2.00 Linc’s

3.00pm Deadliest Catch: Lobstermen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 The Elite Forces 10.00 Rome: Power and Glory 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Big (1988) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Daredevil (2003) 12.00am FILM: Total Recall (1990) 2.10 Ghost Stories 3.00 Flash Gordon 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 Angel

12.50pm The Old Dark House (1963) 2.20 The Desperate Hours (1955) 4.15 12 Angry Men (1957) 5.55 Forty Guns (1957) 7.20 California (1946) 9.00 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 10.50 Torn Curtain (1966) 1.00am Topaz (1969) 3.30 Forty Guns (1957) 4.55 The Desperate Hours (1955)

12.10pm Still Crazy (1998) 1.50 Days Of Glory (2005) 4.00 Syriana (2005) 6.10 Indie Close-Up 6.40 The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005) 8.25 The Escapist (2001) 10.00 Nil By Mouth (1997) 12.10am Still Crazy (1998) 1.50 35mm

1.00pm Millions Like Us (1943) 3.10 The Raid (1954) 4.45 Call Me Madam (1953) 6.55 Explorers (1985) 9.00 Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) The first in the spoof spy series as the 60s secret agent gets groovy in the 21st century. 10.45 The Libertine (2004) 1.00am The Trench (1999)

1.00pm Wives and Daughters 3.00 All The Fine Young Cannibals (1960) 5.30 The Law And Jake Wade (1958) 7.00 The Sunshine Boys (1975) 9.00 Ordinary People (1980) 11.15 The Carey Treatment (1972) 1.05am The Formula (1980) 3.10 San Antonio (1945) 5.00 The High Wall (1947)

Classics

Indie


035_LS381_TV_Thu

7/8/08

3:28 PM

Page 1

thursday 17 Top Gear BBC2, 8pm The boys are back in crazy-town as Jeremy gets to do what he loves best and put the pedal to the metal and race the new Nissan GT-R across Japan faster than the other two can traverse it in the legendary bullet train. Plus, the boys are in pig heaven testing the Alfa Romeo 8C and there are newsreaders racing.

Harley Street ITV1, 9pm Ooh! Could it be a posh and citified Doc Martin? Or maybe a contemporary twist on doctors doing what lawyers did in This Life? There’s only one way to find out and that’s to watch this new medical drama about three GPs in private practice. Expect ethical dilemmas to be coming out of their ears. There’s a gel for that.

Sasha: Beauty Queen at 11 BBC3, 9pm Not an American ‘look at the barmy Yanks’ show, but the tale of an 11-year-old Lancashire schoolgirl who has been taught by her parents that looks and money are the most important things in life. The TV crew follow the family as they travel to Dallas to become the first British folk in a kids’ beauty pageant. Chilling.

 terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 ChuckleVision 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Hider In The House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Pitt And Kantrop 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Secret Show 7.45 Secret Show 7.55 Bernard 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 Get Squiggling 8.45 Something Special 9.00 Golf: The Open. Gary Lineker is at Royal Birkdale as the 137th Open Championship gets under way.

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier (x2) 9.55 ER 10.55 Without A Trace 11.55 3 Minute Wonder: Private Eyes 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 The Class 1.00 Will And Grace 1.25 Supporting Acts 1.45 Desperate Housewives 2.30 Desperate Housewives 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Richard And Judy

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Guilt By Association (2002) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Football 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Boots ‘n’ All 12.00pm Football: UEFA Champions League 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 4.30 LIVE Pro40 League 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 Speedway: World Cup Race-Off 1.30am Barclays Premier League World 2.00 Class 1 Powerboating 2.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 3.00 Race World 4.00 Barclays Premier League World 4.30 Trans World Sport 5.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley present a magazine series featuring a mix of interviews, topical reports and features from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders A killer spider is on the loose and Dawn is torn over whether to accept Jase’s money. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef The four best celebrity cooks cater for a dinner party at Penshurst Place. 9.00 On the Fiddle? Documentary series following the work of benefit fraud investigators. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather The latest news, sport, weather and features from the south of England. 10.33 BBC Weather The latest weather forecast. 10.35 A Question of Sport: Uncensored A chance to see the moments that were deemed too rude and racy for the normal show. 11.15 This Week With Andrew Neil, Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. 12.00am Weatherview Detailed weather forecast. 12.05 Sign Zone: Panorama Current affairs programme. 12.35 Sign Zone: Festival Fever! 1.05 Sign Zone: Countryfile. 2.00 Sign Zone: A Taste of My Life. 2.30 Sign Zone: Bargain Hunt. 3.15 Joins BBC News

7.15pm Today at the Open Hazel Irvine introduces a chance to catch up on the main action and talking points from the opening day of the Open Championship at Royal Birkdale. Tiger Woods has been forced out of this year’s tournament with a knee injury, with others such as defending champion Padraig Harrington and Lee Westwood hoping to profit from his absence. 8.00 Top Gear See highlights. 9.00 Mock the Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. Host Dara O’Briain is joined by regulars Hugh Dennis, Frankie Boyle, Andy Parsons and Russell Howard. With guests Stphen K. Amos and Ed Byrne. 9.30 Lab Rats Comedy. Why is there an annoying man in pink mohair in the pink freezer? Will the Prof make it on to The Hundred Greatest Nobel Prize Winners of All Time? And can Alex help the Dean guard the lab’s dark secret? Only in the dark. 10.00 Still Game Sitcom featuring Jack and Victor, two irrepressible pensioners. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Culture Show Uncut In this edition, The Charlatans take the busking challenge in Manchester. 12.05am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12.35 Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 1.20 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nicola plans to publish Rodney’s book secretly. How surprisingly sneaky. Oh no, it’s Nicola. 7.30 By Royal Appointment 8.00 The Bill Jack enjoys a game of poker with his oldest friends Keith Jordan, Geoff Porter and Mickey. Keith’s son, Kieran, arrives to drive his father home. But as the group is leaving Jack’s flat, a speeding car accelerates and knocks Kieran down. Can of worms. Open. Wa-ay open. 9.00 Harley Street See highlights. 10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 The Way We Were Incredible footage remembering how we were supposed to survive a nuclear blast. Hiding under tables may have been involved. Cunning. 11.10 Inside Crime John Stapleton and the team go behind the scenes to reveal the stories and key issues in the continuing fight against crime. 11.40 Bouncers Grub Smith narrates a series following nightclub bouncers, as they open their doors to reveal how they police badly behaved, boozed-up Brits. Alliterative madness! 12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.10 Motorsport UK 1.40 Hack 2.30 Loose Women 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren is horrified to discover Jack in a suicidal state and demands to know how many tablets he has taken. Nancy and Russ realise they can’t go out partying and leave Newt alone. Get him alcopopped up instead, you responsible adults. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.50 The Seven Wonders of the Muslim World 8.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix Gok reveals the secrets to beach holiday glamour on a high street budget, while Alexa heads to Italy to meet the woman behind the multi-coloured knits of Missoni. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 The Charlotte Church Show Guests include violinist Nigel Kennedy, who will be performing with Charlotte, and Katie Price. 10.45 My Name is Earl Randy decides to take care of Earl when the hospital attempts to discharge him and, in an effort to help him recover, he tries to continue crossing misdemeanours from his list. 11.15 Sunday Night Project Barbara Windsor joins the team. 12.20am Shariah TV 1.20 4 Music: Road To V 2008 1.30 Big Brother Live 2.55 FILM: Ministry of Fear (1944) 4.25 Shariah TV 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away Morag runs into a mysterious young lady. Axel is hospitalised. Christine does not believe that Melody was attacked. 6.30 Wild Animal ER Some orphaned ducks are given their first swimming lesson. Kenneth Grahame ‘Wind in the Willows’ poetry not included. 7.00 Five News 7.30 Rough Guide to Bang For Your Buck Julia and Toby show how to get the best value out of a holiday. Toby enjoys an adventure in the wild west of Arizona. And Julia comes up with some clever ways to make the most of her money in Venice by hiring a boat that serves as both accommodation and transport. 8.00 How to Build a New Life in the Country Property series giving practical advice on how to create the perfect rural lifestyle. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi inspects an inn on the banks of the River Severn in Worcestershire. 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy Cristina has an unwelcome blast from the past. Izzie treats a battle-scarred Korean war veteran. George’s marriage to Callie starts to unravel. 11.00 Cathouse 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Major League Soccer 4.45 Nick’s Quest Naturalist 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 11.00 Rallyzone 11.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 2.00 Total Rugby 2.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 3.00 Rallyzone 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 LIVE Speedway World Cup 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 10.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five O 12.00am NFL 1.00 Race World 2.00 Poker

Sky Sports 3 10.30am Clipper Around The World Yacht Race 11.00 Aerobics 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Pipeline Adventures 12.30 Clipper Around The World Yacht Race 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 5.00 WWE 6.00 ATP Tennis Magazine 6.30 Powerboating 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am Rugby League

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm In The Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Bones 11.00 Empire 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Street Wars 2.40 Airline 3.05 Airline 3.30 Cruise With Stelios (x2) 4.20 Rescue Me

7.00pm Greek 7.45 Greek Uncovered 8.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model 9.00 Sasha: Beauty Queen At 11. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Greek 12.30am Summer Heights High 1.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model 1.55 Sasha: Beauty Queen At 11

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Born To Be Wild 8.00 Alistair Cooke: Postcards From America 9.00 The Unseen Alistair Cooke 10.00 Journeys Into The Ring Of Fire 11.00 Session: Ray LaMontagne 12.00am Born To Be Wild 12.30 The Unseen Alistair Cooke 1.30 Journeys Into The Ring Of Fire 2.30 Born To Be Wild

7.00pm ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 My Child Won’t Eat 9.00 Bionic Woman 10.00 Gossip Girl 11.00 The Feeling Live At IndigO2 11.30 ITunes Festival 2008 12.00am The Office: An American Workplace 12.30 101 Sexiest Celebrity Bodies 1.30 Teleshopping

3.05pm On The Buses 3.35 On The Buses 4.10 Great Garden Detectives 5.10 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 8.00 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Kavanagh QC 11.35 FILM: Mr Jones (1994) 1.40am P D James: Black Tower

2.20pm Big Brother: Live 4.20 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 My Name Is Earl 10.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 10.35 The Inbetweeners 11.05 8 Out Of 10 Cats 11.35 Big Brother: Live 12.00am Big Brother: Live

4.00pm A Place In The Sun Revisited (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Tony Robinson’s Crime And Punishment 10.05 Without A Trace (x2) 11.50 FILM: Paths Of Glory (1957) 1.30am The Closer 2.30 Countdown 3.20 Close

1.45pm The Fix 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Men In Trees 9.00 Private Practice 10.00 Ibiza 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Porridge 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.20 The Worst Week Of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 Fawlty Towers 12.20am The Worst Week Of My Life

1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x4) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Two And A Half Men 12.20am Two And A Half Men

4.00pm Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How Do They Do It? 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 10.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 Most Evil 2.00 Forensic Detectives

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: The Phantom (1996) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Total Recall (1990) 12.10am FILM: Bordello Of Blood (1996) 1.50 The Lost World 3.00 Angel

12.35pm The Gold Rush (1925) 1.50 The Men (1950) 3.20 The Far Country (1955) 5.00 Rio Grande (1950) 6.50 True Grit (1969) 9.00 Funeral In Berlin (1966) 10.45 Billion Dollar Brain (1967) 12.45am The Far Country (1955) 2.35 The Kid (1921) 3.40 Pay Day (1922)

10.45am Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 12.25pm Shooting Fish (1997) 2.20 The Conversation (1974) 4.20 Cache (2005) 6.20 On A Clear Day (2005) 8.05 Shooting Fish (1997) 10.00 The Horseman On The Roof (1995) 12.20am Running With Scissors (2006)

1.00pm Chance Of A Lifetime (1950) 2.45 Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 4.50 Storm Over The Nile (1955) 6.55 One Fine Day (1996) 9.00 The Fifth Element (1997) Bruce Willis battles through a futuristic world to help a lost girl save the universe. 11.25 Hustle And Flow (2005) 1.35am Keane (2004)

11.25am Seven Women (1966) 1.00pm Wives And Daughters 3.00 Lady L (1965) 4.55 Boys’ Night Out (1962) 6.55 The 25th Hour (1967) 9.00 The Exorcist (1973) 11.15 The Gypsy Moths (1969) 1.10am The Girl And The General (1967) 3.05 Bachelor In Paradise (1961) 5.00 Blackboard Jungle (1955)

Classics

Indie


036_LS381_TV_Fri

7/8/08

3:27 PM

Page 1

friday 18 BBC Proms 2008: First Night of the Proms BBC2, 8pm The original and still the best summer music festival kicks off at The Albert Hall today, with the BBC Symphony Orchestra performing Strauss’ Last Four Songs, Mozart’s Oboe Concerto and organist Wayne Marshall launching the proceedings. Paint your face and sing along.

Comedy Connections BBC1, 10.35pm The series that does the whole family tree of one show is back, kicking off with the controversial show Till Death Us Do Part. With Peter Sellars originally pencilled in to play Alf, and tensions rising between eventual Alf, Warren Mitchell, and his co-star Anthony Booth being exposed, this is well worth checking out.

Sophiatown BBC4, 9pm This documentary looks back at a vanishing era in South Africa. In the 1940s and 50s Sophiatown was a haven of tolerance in the middle of the oppression of apartheid. Surrounded by whitesonly suburbs, this urban centre became a mixing pot of music, literature and politics, along with gangsters and jazz singers.

 terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not to Buy 11.30 Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting 12.15pm Cash in the Attic 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Uncle Max 4.05 Best of Friends 4.35 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Pitt and Kantrop 7.25 Newsround 7.30 Secret Show 7.45 Secret Show 7.55 Bernard 8.00 Prank Patrol 8.30 Get Squiggling 8.45 Something Special 9.00 Golf: The Open. Live coverage from day two of the Open Championship at Royal Birkdale. With no Tiger Woods this year, many of his rivals will be harbouring realistic hopes of victory.

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News and Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Diamond Girl (1998) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 Class 1 Powerboating 10.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 2.00pm LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Test Cricket 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Test Cricket

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Sky Cops Jamie Theakston narrates a series about Britain’s helicopter police. Wurrur, wurrur. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Mo’s attempt to capitalise on Charlie’s spider bite has terrible consequences for Billy. Does he grow six more legs? Or develop a Spidey-sense? 8.30 Celebrity MasterChef The four semi-finalists have to cook a meal for three of the country’s most respected restuarant critics, Charles Campion, Kate Spicer and Jay Rayner. 9.00 Would I Lie to You? Comedy panel show, hosted by Angus Deayton. 9.30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook Classic comedy. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Comedy Connections See highlights. 11.15 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.20 FILM: Rumble in the Bronx (1996) Starring Jackie Chan. Sizzling action thriller about a Hong Kong cop. 12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Top Gear 1.50 Paradise Or Bust 2.50 The Supersizers Go... Regency 3.50 Joins BBC News

7.15pm Today at the Open Hazel Irvine presents highlights and reaction from today’s second round at Royal Birkdale, including details of which players will be returning for the weekend and which have fallen victim to the dreaded halfway cut. 8.00 BBC Proms 2008: First Night of the Proms The world’s greatest music festival gets under way with Charles Hazlewood and Suzy Klein presenting live from the Royal Albert Hall. See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis. Any American election left to discuss? 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme presented by John Wilson. 11.35 T in the Park: Highlights REM, Kaiser Chiefs, The Verve and Chemical Brothers headline the 15th annual T in the Park festival from Kinross, Scotland. Edith Bowman presents extended highlights of the whole weekend including performances from Stereophonics, Amy Winehouse, The Kooks, Pendulum, Kings of Leon, The Fratellis and The Raconteurs. 1.35am Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2) 3.05 Malcolm in the Middle (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Louise shops the factory to Health and Safety. Jamie is appalled to learn that Louise tried to blackmail Viv. Crafty older lady there. 7.30 Coronation Street Michelle demands the truth from Steve. Best come clean, lad, your lying face could be spotted by a blind man. 8.00 Tiger Island A tigress is unwell and the vet has to be called. And there’s a new arrival for one of the rare primate species. And how is the zoo’s only white tiger since she had an eye removed? Having problems with distance probably. 8.30 Coronation Street There’s no way back for Steve and Michelle. We take it this means that a new crockery set is on order from the cash and carry. Shards everywhere we’re sure. 9.00 A Touch of Frost When a man’s body is found in Denton canal, the ageing detective unravels the mystery of a missing dance partner and a web of intrigue involving blackmail, envy and murder. 11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.45 Bingo Night Live 12.50am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 Hack 2.35 FILM: Possession (2002) 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.00 Frasier (x2) 9.55 ER 10.55 Without a Trace 11.55 3 Minute Wonder: Private Eyes 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 The Class 1.00 Will and Grace 1.25 Supporting Acts 1.40 Desperate Housewives 2.35 Desperate Housewives 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks A panicked Russ wakes up to find Newt missing from the flat. During a frantic call to Darren, they realise he is safe and well. However, the mood is cut short when they hear of Jack’s death. There’s a lot of it about in Chester. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.50 The Seven Wonders of the Muslim World 8.00 A Place in the Sun: Home Or Away Paul and Caroline Feinson are keen to vacate London but will it be the Chilterns or Umbria in Italy that represents their destination? 9.00 Big Brother Davina McCall announces the results live and direct into the house in a special eviction night show. 10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Guest panellists tonight in the last show of the current series are David Baddiel and Michael McIntyre. 10.35 Big Brother The evicted housemate leaves the house and is interviewed by Davina McCall. 11.05 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 12.10am 4Music: Chemical Brothers Video Exclusive 12.15 Smirnoff Experience: Paris 1.05 4 Music: 4Play: Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip 1.15 Goalissimo! 2.10 Big Brother Live 4.25 Trans World Sport 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away How far will Kane go to keep Larry and Ric quiet? He’s not really the shy hope-for-thebest type. 6.30 Wild Animal ER Webster the swan gives nurses Clare and Nicola the run-around near a motorway. 7.00 Five News 7.15 Cricket on Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from day one of the second npower Test match between England and South Africa. 8.00 Superstars Athletes from a range of disciplines compete against each other in a series of sporting challenges. 9.00 NCIS The team investigates a marine’s wife who has killed an intruder that tried to rape her. However, all is not as it first seems, and they learn that a serial rapist may be on the loose. 10.00 Shark A Las Vegas-based businessman once represented by Stark offers the lawyer big money to defend him against a murder charge. Surprise! He does. 11.00 Law and Order When a skeleton with a $40,000 diamond ring is found, the team discover that the victim was thought to have died during the September 11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.45 Out of Practice 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Speedway World Cup 12.00pm Rugby League 2.00 Speedway World Cup 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Pipeline Adventures 6.30 Sailing 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Tight Lines 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Super League 2.00 Tight Lines 3.00 NFL: Total Access 4.00 Super League

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Race World 8.00 Rugby League 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Race World 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Powerboating 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Race World 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Beach Volleyball: Spanish Masters 8.00 NFL: Total Access 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Gillette World Sport 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Beach Volleyball: Spanish Masters 2.00 Motor Racing 2.30 Race World 3.30 Fishing: Bass Fishing 4.30 Tight Lines 5.30 Pipeline Adventures

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Wonderfalls 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm In The Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 10.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 11.00 Gladiators 12.00am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 FILM: The Haunted Mansion (2003) 9.55 Three’s Outtakes: Little Britain 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 12.45 Trexx And Flipside 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A Seaside Parish 8.00 Soweto Strings 9.00 Sophiatown. See highlights. 10.25 Arena 11.55 The Avengers 12.45am The Avengers 1.35 Sophiatown 3.00 Soweto Strings 4.00 Close

4.30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Pushing Daisies 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.20 Bionic Woman 11.20 Coronation Street (x2) 12.20am ITunes Festival 2008

3.35pm On The Buses 4.10 Great Garden Detectives 5.10 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.40 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 FILM: Mr Jones (1994) 11.15 Cracker... Behind The Scenes 12.15am Wycliffe 1.15 P D James: Black Tower (x2) 3.10 Only When I Laugh

12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.20 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 How To Look Good Naked 10.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother: Live 12.00am Big Brother

2.00pm ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place In The Sun Revisited 4.30 A Place In The Sun 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Lolita (1962) 11.50 Live From Abbey Road 12.55am All You Need Is Love

12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 Private Practice 12.00am Criminal Minds

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.40pm My Family Christmas Special 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.20 The Worst Week Of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 Fawlty Towers 12.20am The Worst Week Of My Life

1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Coupling 12.20am Kitchen Confidential (x2) 1.20 Sex And The City

3.00pm Deadliest Catch: Lobstermen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How Do They Do It? 8.00 Crime Scene Australia 9.00 Crimes That Shook The World 10.00 A Haunting 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Coneheads (1993) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Weird Science (1985) 11.50 FILM: Candy Stripers (2006) 1.30am The Lost World 2.30 Ghost Stories

1.30pm City Lights (1931) 3.05 Hondo (1953) 4.40 Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 6.40 Modern Greats And Classics Close Up 7.10 Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 9.00 Emperor Of The North (1973) 11.05 Cahill, United States Marshal (1973) 12.50am The Killers (1964)

1.05pm Rushmore (1998) 2.40 Better Luck Tomorrow (2003) 4.20 Love Me If You Dare (2003) 6.00 Indie Close-Up 6.30 Shakes The Clown (1992) 8.00 Stranger Than Fiction (2006) 10.00 Rushmore (1998) 11.35 The Big Lebowski (1998) 1.35am Remnants Of Everest: The 1996 Tragedy (2007)

1.00pm Appointment In London (1953) 2.50 Boomerang (1947) 4.35 North To Alaska (1960) 7.15 The Nutty Professor (1996) 9.00 In Her Shoes (2005) Toni Collette and Cameron Diaz explore sisterly rivally in this ‘learning’ romcom. 11.35 Porky’s (1982) 1.25am One Hour Photo (2002)

1.00pm The Prince And The Pauper 3.00 The Ice Pirates (1984) 4.45 It’s Always Fair Weather (1955) 6.40 Hearts Of The West (1975) 8.30 The Screening Room 9.00 BlowUp (1966) 11.00 Hit Man (1972) 12.45am Period Of Adjustment (1962) 2.50 Operation Crossbow (1965)

Classics

Indie


037_LS381_TV_sat

7/10/08

7:11 PM

Page 1

saturday 19 Comics Britannia BBC 2, 9.30pm Armando Iannucci (left) presents a welcome look back at the time before Bebo and iPods, when comics ruled British kids’ imaginations. Oscar-winning animator Nick Park, political cartoonist Steve Bell, writer Jacqueline Wilson, and children’s laureate Michael Rosen recall their favourite strips.

Live from Abbey Road Channel 4, 11.50pm Channel 4 continues its Laterstyle music strand showcasing acts both old and new performing live at the legendary recording studios. Hoping some Beatles brilliance will rub off on them tonight are resilient folkie Suzanne Vega, indie upstarts Panic at the Disco and wobblyheaded troubadour David Gray.

Drama Trails: Doc Martin to Foyles War ITV3, 11.10pm James Nesbitt (left) narrates a join-the-dots documentary revealing the connecting strands between Martin Clunes’ moody doc and the popular war-time ‘tec. Including contribution from the stars themselves, plus the researchers who work to retain historical accuracy.

 terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Golf: The Open 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Golf: The Open 5.35 BBC News 5.55 The Green Green Grass

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 Tikkabilla 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Watch My Chops 7.15 Trollz 7.35 Zombie Hotel 8.00 Only in America 8.30 Secret Show 8.45 Secret Show 8.55 Bernard 9.00 Help Teacher is Coming to Stay 10.00 50/50 10.30 The Slammer 10.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 11.00 The Story of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Eliot Kid 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 Celebrity MasterChef 1.30 FILM: The Red Shoes (1948) 3.40 Flog It! 4.40 Coast 4.50 Murder, She Wrote 5.35 Golf: The Open 7.30 Dad’s Army Walmington-OnSea’s Home Guard attempt to bring ashore a German Luftwaffe aircraft crew who have bailed out into a nearby lake and intend to stay in their dinghy until nightfall. 8.00 Hadrian As the British Museum prepares to launch its spectacular exhibition on the emperor Hadrian, Dan Snow takes us on a journey around Hadrian’s vast empire. 9.00 Have I Got Old News for You Comedy quiz show with Stephen Frost and Labour MP Stephen Pound. 9.30 Comics Britannia See highlights. 10.30 Mock the Week Comedy show combining the best elements of panel show, stand-up and improvised games with two teams of comedians taking a satirical swipe at the news and world events. 11.00 Today at the Open Hazel Irvine presents highlights of today’s third round at Royal Birkdale. 12.00am Comedy Connections Series charting the history of some of our best comedy shows, and finding out what the teams who made them have gone on to do. 12.40 FILM: Girl From Rio (2003) 2.20 Arrested Development (x2)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Jim Jam and Sunny 9.40 Captain Mack 9.55 Captain Mack 10.10 Supernormal 10.25 Drake and Josh 10.55 Art Attack 11.15 Finger Tips 11.35 Prove It! 12.00pm ITV News and Weather 12.05 Meridian News and Weather 12.10 F1: German Grand Prix Qualifying 2.40 FILM: Mystery Men (1999) 4.45 Meridian News and Weather 5.00 ITV News and Weather 5.15 FILM: Junior (1994)

8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Big Brother 9.55 Six on the Beach: McFly 10.00 Big Brother 10.30 Six on the Beach: Alexa Chung 10.35 Friends 11.05 Six on the Beach: Hollyoaks and Skins 11.10 Shipwrecked 2008: The Hutcam Diaries 11.40 Six on the Beach: The Hoosiers 11.45 Friends 12.15pm Six on the Beach: Alesha Dixon 12.20 Wall.E: T4 Movie Special 12.50 Six on the Beach: Steve and Miquita 12.55 Red Bull Air Race 2008 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Deal or No Deal 4.45 Supernanny US 5.40 Gok’s Fashion Fix 6.40 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.00 The Seven Wonders of the Muslim World Series exploring Islam as it is lived and practised and following six pilgrims from different countries, including a young Spanish pizza chef and a newspaper boy from Jerusalem, who want to visit Mecca. 7.10 Who Downed Douglas Bader? Documentary examining the mystery surrounding the last flight of Douglas Bader, an RAF hero from WWII who claimed he was forced to bail out over France after a collision. 9.10 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 10.10 FILM: Jackass: The Movie (2002) Feature-length version of the TV series in which Johnny Knoxville and friends push the limits of safety and taste in performing mad pranks and dangerous stunts. Along the way, they wander around Japan in panda outfits, wreak havoc on a once civilised golf course, place a live alligator in a kitchen, and give themselves paper cuts. 11.50 Live from Abbey Road See highlights. 1.00am Big Brother Live 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.20 Countdown

7.15am Little Princess 7.35 The Beeps 7.50 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his Best Friend Corky 8.05 The Save-Ums! 8.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.35 The Mr. Men Show 8.55 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Rupert Bear 9.20 Animal Families 9.35 The Secret of Eel Island 9.50 Look 10.00 Britain’s Strongest Man 11.00 Britain’s Strongest Man 12.00pm Warship 1.00 Fifth Gear Short Cuts 1.10 FILM: The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969) 3.00 FILM: Jane Doe – The Harder They Fall (2006) 4.45 Football on Five 7.00 Five News and Sport The latest national and international headlines. 7.15 Cricket on Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from day two of the second npower Test match between England and South Africa at Headingley Carnegie. 8.00 Superstars In the first round of the Superstars mini-league, Steve Redgrave’s White Team takes on Kelly Holmes’s Reds. Will it be the knight or the dame to take first blood? 9.10 NCIS The team work on an assignment against a terrorist group without Gibbs, who is still recovering, but he may be the only person who can help. 10.10 CSI: NY When a woman dressed from head-to-toe in blue is found dead after a rave party, Mac is summoned from a night at the opera to process the scene. 11.10 Law and Order: Criminal Intent Goren pursues a serial killer who preys on beautiful women. 12.10am Quiz Call 4.45 Out of Practice 5.10 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 2.00pm LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE Masters Football: London Masters 10.30 Test Cricket 12.30am Masters Football: London Masters 3.30 The Premiership Years 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.25 Last Choir Standing Myleene Klass and Nick Knowles host the search for Britain’s best choir. Five of the final 15 choirs battle it out in the first studio heat. 7.30 The National Lottery: This Time Tomorrow Tess Daly hosts the National Lottery show where being a winner tonight means being somewhere fabulous tomorrow. Includes the Thunderball and Lotto draws live from Lottery HQ. 8.20 Casualty 9.10 Last Choir Standing Results Judges Russell Watson, Sharon D. Clarke and Suzi Digby decide which of the two remaining choirs will sing again to convince them they deserve their place in the knockout shows. 9.35 BBC News National and international BBC News, followed by Weather. 10.00 FILM: Derailed (2005) Tense thriller starring Clive Owen, Jennifer Aniston and Vincent Cassel. 11.35 FILM: The Relic (1996) Suspense thriller about a deadly creature at large in the Chicago Field Museum. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Joins BBC News

7.10 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill delves into the archive to present a collection of the funniest home videos from 18 years of the show. 8.10 Who Dares Sings! Denise Van Outen and Ben Shephard host the ultimate singing gameshow. 9.10 Foyle’s War A murdered farmer, a past love affair, a mysterious land girl and the crash landing of a German plane present an unsettling case for Foyle. 11.10 ITV News and Weather 11.25 Benidorm Everybody’s back at the Solanas for more sun, sangria and swinging – including Madge’s new boyfriend Mel, Didsbury’s answer to Julio Iglesias. 11.55 Benidorm Instead of escaping from the resort, Martin and Kate find themselves babysitting Telle’s baby, Coolio. Mel abandons the idea of having a go at ‘Wuthering Heights’ at the karaoke night, and asks a question that shocks everyone‚ especially Madge. 12.25am Bingo Night Live 1.30 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 2.25 FILM: Quatermass And The Pit (1967) 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 CITV: Jim Jam and Sunny (x6)

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Race World 7.00 Super League 9.00 WWE Smackdown 11.00 WWE The Bottom Line 12.00pm LIVE Fishing 5.30 Gillette World Sport 6.00 LIVE Speedway World Cup 9.00 Max Power 10.00 NFL: Total Access 11.00 Speedway World Cup 2.00am Test Cricket 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Sports Adventure

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Test Cricket 9.00 America’s Game 10.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.30 LIVE Tri-Nations Rugby Union 1.00pm Motor Racing 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 LIVE Rugby Union: Currie Cup 4.00 LIVE Rugby Union: Currie Cup 6.00 LIVE Super League 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 America’s Game 3.00 Super League 5.00 NFL: Total Access

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Don’t Forget the Lyrics (x3) 4.00 Futurama 4.30 Malcolm in the Middle (x3) 6.00 Gladiators 7.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Road Wars (x2) 11.00 Inside: Gangs Behind Bars 12.00am Street Wars 1.00 Road Wars 1.50 The Villa 2.40 Mile High

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 8.00 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 8.10 Top Gear 9.10 FILM: Tombstone (1993) 11.10 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 12.30 Britain’s Missing Top Model 1.30 Sasha: Beauty Queen at 11 2.25 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2)

8.00pm Sykes 8.25 Perpetual Motion: The Routemaster Bus 9.00 Arena: Little Platform, Big Stage 9.55 To the World’s End: Scenes and Characters on a London Bus Route 10.45 A Day off The Buses 11.20 Mark Lawson Talks to Liz Smith 12.20am The Unseen Alistair Cooke

3.40pm All Star Family Fortunes 4.20 Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.50 Animals do the Funniest Things 5.50 Gossip Girl 6.50 America’s Got Talent 8.10 FILM: Free Willy 3: The Rescue (1997) 9.50 FILM: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004) 12.00am America’s Got Talent 1.20 The Fratellis Live at IndigO2

1.45pm The Railway Children 3.50 Kavanagh QC 5.25 Inspector Morse 7.25 Cadfael 9.00 Decoding Cadfael 10.00 PD James: Devices and Desires 11.00 Film File 11.10 Drama Trails: Doc Martin to Foyles War. See highlights. 12.10am FILM: The Mission (1986) 2.30 Bramwell 3.50 Film File

8.55am Roswell 9.50 Kevin Hill 10.40 Dark Angel 11.35 Roswell 12.25pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 12.55 Big Brother: Live 2.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.25 Friends (x2) 6.25 Big Brother (x2) 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Crocodile Dundee II (1988) 11.05 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 12.10am Big Brother: Live

9.30am Time Team (x3) 1.10 FILM: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 3.45 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2007 3.50 3 Minute Wonder: My Music (x2) 4.00 Grand Designs (x5) 9.30 Britain’s Drowned World: Time Team Special 11.10 The Camomile Lawn 12.15am The West Wing 1.10 Deal or No Deal

2.00pm The Steve Wilkos Show 2.55 The Fix 3.00 The Jerry Springer Show (x6) 6.00 Make Me a Supermodel US (x2) 8.00 Outrageous Home Videos: Holiday Blunders 9.00 Ibiza 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Charmed 1.00 Outrageous Home Videos: Holiday Blunders 2.00 Maury

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.20pm Victoria Wood as Seen on TV 5.00 Dinnerladies 5.40 Victoria Wood as Seen on TV 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 When Were We Funniest? 8.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.00 New Tricks 10.00 FILM: Sleepers (1996) 12.45am New Tricks 1.55 My Hero 2.25 Murder, She Wrote 3.10 The Blue Planet

4.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 6.30 Scrubs 7.00 Last Comic Standing 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 Everybody Hates Chris 10.00 Harry Hill in Hooves 11.30 Shortcuts Shuffle 11.40 Lee Evans at Her Majesty’s Theatre 1.00am Shortcuts Shuffle

6.00pm Building the Biggest 7.00 How do They do It? (x2) 8.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Crime Museum UK with Martin Kemp (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body of Evidence 12.30 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.00 Psychic Witness

1.00pm FILM: Journey To The Centre Of The Earth (1999) (Parts 1 and 2) 4.40 FILM: Weird Science (1985) 6.30 FILM: Flash Gordon (1980) 8.40 FILM: Daredevil (2003) 10.40 FILM: Dead End (2003) 12.20am FILM: Bloodsuckers (2005) 2.30 Ghost Stories 3.00 Medium 4.00 FILM: Cheating Fate (2007)

1.00pm Anna And The King Of Siam (1946) 3.15 Mr Hobbs Takes A Vacation (1962) 5.20 Island In The Sky (1953) 7.20 The Lady Eve (1941) 9.00 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 11.10 The Grissom Gang (1971) 1.20am Curse Of The Werewolf (1961) 3.05 Three Faces West (1940)

9.00am Offside (2006) 10.40 Indie Close-Up 11.10 Wilde (1997) 1.10pm Annie Hall (1977) 2.50 Tube Tales (1999) 4.20 Indie Close-Up 4.50 Them (2005) 6.10 Still Crazy (1998) 7.50 Syriana (2005) 10.00 Ong-Bak (2004) 11.50 Them (2005) 1.10am Mulholland Falls (1996) 3.00 Wilde (1997)

1.00pm The Nutty Professor (1996) 2.50 There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954) 5.15 The Raid (1954) 6.55 Timeline (2003) 9.00 The Day After Tomorrow (2004) 11.20 Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1992) The movie that inspired the superior telly spin-off.1.00am The Proposition (2005)

10.45am The Yearling (1946) 1.00pm Young Bess (1953) 3.00 Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 4.25 The Shoes Of The Fisherman (1968) 7.05 In The Good Old Summertime (1949) 9.00 Plenty (1985) 11.15 The Screening Room 11.45 Shoot The Moon (1982) 1.55am Spinout (1966) 3.25 A Very Private Affair (1962)

Classics

Indie


000_LS381_TV_sun

7/10/08

6:43 PM

Page 1

sunday 20 The Seven Wonders of the Muslim World Channel 4, 7.30pm Channel 4 gets unprecedented access to the holy city of Mecca and meets some of the devotees who flock to the place every day. The programme meets the muezzin who makes the call to prayer, as well as the chap who has the unenviable task of washing the faithfuls’ feet.

Midsomer Murders ITV1, 8pm More soporific Sunday night carnage as the village of Dunstan is shocked by a botched burglary which results in the death of a reclusive couple. When a guest is murdered at the wedding of Jones’ oldest friends there’s suspicion that the killings are linked to the disappearance of a teenager twenty years’ ago.

Arena: Salman Rushdie and the Ground Beneath His Feet BBC4, 9.15pm In a bit of a coup for the documentary strand; Francine Stock talks exclusively to Salman Rushdie about his new novel, which deals with the worlds of music and celebrity. Bono and The Edge also chip in with some tunes they’ve written to accompany the book.

 terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Life 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 12.25 EastEnders 2.20 Lifeline 2.30 Golf: The Open

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 Tikkabilla 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Legend of the Dragon 7.25 Watch My Chops 7.35 The Batman 7.55 Bernard 8.00 Raven – The Secret Temple 8.30 SMart 9.30 Something for the Weekend 11.00 Golf: The Open 2.30pm FILM: The War Bride (2001) 4.15 Wild 4.25 Songs of Praise 5.00 Coast 5.15 FILM: The Great Escape (1963)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Meg and Mog 9.35 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.50 ITV News and Weather 11.55 Meridian News and Weather 12.00pm F1: German Grand Prix Live 3.00 FILM: Dr No (1962) 5.00 Robbie Coltrane: B-Road Britain

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 Trans World Sport 7.50 The British Formula 3 International Series 8.20 Relentless Wakestock Festival: Sport 8.50 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.20 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle of the Islands 12.45pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.50 T4 on the Beach

7.00am Little Princess 7.15 Fireman Sam 7.25 The Beeps 7.40 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his Best Friend Corky 7.50 The SaveUms! 8.05 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.35 The Mr. Men Show 8.40 The Mr. Men Show 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.05 Sailor Sid 9.10 Animal Families 9.25 George Shrinks 10.00 The Gadget Show 11.00 Monster Moves 12.00pm Ice Road Truckers 1.00 Zoo Days 1.30 FILM: On The Town (1949) 3.20 FILM: Captain Ron (1992) 5.15 FILM: The Secret Garden (1993)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Where are they Now? 9.30 Cricket Writers on TV 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 2.00pm LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Where are they Now? 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00am WWE Vintage Collection 1.00 LIVE WWE Great American Bash 4.00 Where are they Now? 4.30 Wild Spirits 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Class 1 Powerboating

7.10 Last of the Summer Wine When Alvin and Entwistle see Lance trying to convince his wife that Elvis is still alive, they feel a duty to help the King make an appearance. 7.40 BBC News National and international news, followed by Weather. 8.00 George Gently Crime drama series set in Northumberland in the mid-1960s, based on the Inspector Gently novels by Alan Hunter. 9.30 The Vicar of Dibley The local elections are looming and David is confident of victory. His new plans include twinning Dibley with every country in Europe – except Belgium. 10.00 BBC News National and international news, followed by Weather. 10.25 Commercial Breakdown with Jimmy Carr Jimmy Carr presents a collection of the funniest, wildest and weirdest television commercials from across the globe, as well as delivering his own incisive view on the advertising industry. 11.05 FILM: The Lonely Guy (1984) A young man meets a melancholy soulmate who befriends him and shows him how to survive bachelorhood. 12.30am Sign Zone: Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 1.35 Holby City 2.35 A Taste of My Life 3.05 Bargain Hunt

8.00 Top Gear 9.00 Long Way Round Documentary showing the preparation and planning of Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman’s famous motorbike journey. 9.40 Moto GP Motor sport. 11.00 Today at the Open Hazel Irvine brings the curtain down on the 137th Open Championship with highlights of the action. Relive the thrills and spills of the final round from Royal Birkdale and see who succeeds Padraig Harrington as the new Open Champion. 12.00am FILM: The Wraith (1986) Supernatural horror about a highschool hero who returns from the dead to take revenge on the psychotic drag racer who killed him. 1.30 Joins BBC News 3.45 Super League Show

6.00 Country Lives Chris Beardshaw visits East Bergholt to explore a littleknown arboretum, then travels to the chalk downs of Sussex to discover a unique display of 20th-century art. 6.30 Meridian News and Weather A round-up of all the latest news from across the region. Includes Meridian weather. 6.45 ITV News and Weather Latest headlines from around the world presented by Nina Hossain, followed by the national weather forecast. 7.00 The Royal Matron takes decisive action to deal with her troublesome porter. 8.00 Midsomer Murders See highlights. 10.00 ITV News and Weather News headlines from around the world presented by Nina Hossain. 10.15 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Neil Morrissey presents more risque outtakes and unbleeped bloopers, featuring foul-ups and colourful language from famous faces. 10.45 F1: German Grand Prix Highlights Steve Rider presents the best of the action from Hockenheim. 11.45 A Match Made in Heaven t 12.15am The Way We Worshipped 12.45 60 Minute Makeover 1.35 Vanessa’s Real Lives 2.25 Fat Chance (x2) 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 CITV: Jim Jam and Sunny (x6)

6.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 6.25 3 Minute Wonder: Stanley Kubrick’s Small Boxes The first of four short films concerning the late director. Members of Kubrick’s audience relate their fondest memories of his films. 6.30 Empire’s Children Six-part series examining how the legacy of imperialism has impacted on modern Britain and shaped national identity. 7.30 The Seven Wonders of the Muslim World See highlights. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 10.00 Sunday Night Project Will Young joins presenters Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carr for the usual mix of sketches, news and audience interaction. 11.10 8 Out of 10 Cats Guest panellists tonight in the last show of the current series are David Baddiel and Michael McIntyre. 11.40 Back to You The staff at WURG prepare for Gracie’s class to make a field trip to the station. 12.10am The Charlotte Church Show This week’s guests include violinist Nigel Kennedy and Katie Price. 12.55 Big Brother Live 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.15 Countdown

7.05 Five News and Sport The latest national and international headlines. 7.15 Cricket on Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from day three of the second npower Test match between England and South Africa at Headingley Carnegie. 8.00 Hitler’s Secret Bunkers: Revealed Historical documentary exploring a vast network of Nazi bunkers in Berlin. 9.00 FILM: Anger Management (2003) Comedy starring Adam Sandler as a mild-mannered man caught up in an incident aboard a plane who ends up being sent to anger management classes to avoid going to jail. 11.00 Banged Up Documentary series presented by David Blunkett MP in which ten youths spend ten days in prison. 12.00am Disorderly Conduct US documentary series featuring footage of real-life car crashes, drug busts, high-speed pursuits and more. 1.05 Major League Baseball 4.20 ITU Triathlon 5.10 Wildlife SOS

6.00am Masters Football: London Masters 9.00 Speedway World Cup 12.00pm Super League 2.00 Speedway World Cup 5.00 The Premiership Years 7.00 Watersports World 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Max Power 11.00 Test Cricket 1.00am The Premiership Years

Sky Sports 2

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Test Cricket 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Sailing: Med Cup 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football: London Masters 3.00 Tri-Nations Rugby Union 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 Sailing: Med Cup 6.30 LIVE IndyCar Motor Racing 9.00 Where are they Now? 9.30 Sailing: Med Cup 10.00 WWE Experience 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00am Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 1.00 Darts: World Matchplay

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

2.00pm Sea Monster: Search for Giant Squid 3.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 4.00 The Dark Knight Special 4.30 Futurama (x2)5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Gladiators 7.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 FILM: Batman Begins (2005) 11.40 Gladiators 12.40am Road Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Greek 8.45 Greek Uncovered 9.00 Jamelia: Whose Hair is it Anyway? 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 Trexx and Flipside 11.15 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 11.45 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 12.45 Jamelia: Whose Hair is it Anyway?

7.00pm Coal House 7.30 Proms on Four 2008: Folk Day 9.15 Arena: Salman Rushdie and the Ground Beneath His Feet. See highlights. 10.00 Samuel Johnson Prize 2008 11.00 Arena: The Strange Luck of V.S. Naipaul. Documentary. 12.00am Born to be Wild 12.30 Samuel Johnson Prize 2008

10.50am Gossip Girl 11.50 FILM: Free Willy 3: The Rescue (1997) 1.25pm Emmerdale Omnibus 4.20 Coronation Street Omnibus 6.40 An Audience with Neil Diamond 7.40 America’s Got Talent 9.00 FILM: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004) 11.10 FILM: 48 Hrs (1982) 1.10am Supermodels: Gone Bad

2.10pm Inspector Morse 4.15 FILM: Shadowlands (1993) 6.50 Film File 7.00 Dempsey and Makepeace 8.00 Those were the Days: ‘81 Charles and Diana’s Wedding 9.00 FILM: The Mission (1986) 11.30 PD James: Cover Her Face (x2) 1.40am PD James: A Mind to Murder 3.30 Film File 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

12.25pm Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 1.25 Big Brother: Live 3.35 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle of the Islands 4.55 Friends (x2) 5.55 Big Brother 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny US 10.00 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 11.00 Shameless 12.10am Big Brother: Live

1.55pm Coach Trip (x5) 4.35 Come Dine with Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie at Home 7.55 Hugh’s Chicken Run 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Sleeping with My Sister 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 Father Ted 12.10am Brass Eye 12.40 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 1.40 Sleeping with My Sister

12.00pm Make Me a Supermodel US (x2) 2.00pm Maury (x4) 5.30 The Jerry Springer Show 6.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2) 7.00 Private Practice 8.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 Ibiza 12.00am Charmed 1.00 Criminal Minds 2.00 Maury

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.40pm Victoria Wood as Seen on TV 5.20 Dinnerladies 6.00 Victoria Wood as Seen on TV 6.40 Dinnerladies 7.20 Victoria Wood as Seen on TV 8.20 Dinnerladies 9.00 Victoria Wood Live 11.00 Dinnerladies (x2) 12.20am My Family 1.00 Victoria Wood Live 2.45 The Blue Planet 3.35 Columbo

9.00am Everybody Loves Raymond (x24) 9.00pm Scrubs 9.30 Everybody Hates Chris 10.00 Lee Evans Live from the West End 11.30 Last Comic Standing 1.30am Everybody Loves Raymond (x7) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2) 5.10 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2)

6.00pm How do They do It? (x2) 7.00 Survivorman 8.00 Alaska: Surviving the Last Frontier 9.00 Unsolved Murders (x2) 10.00 A Haunting 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body Of Evidence 12.30 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.00 Psychic Witness 2.00 Forensic Detectives

1.20pm FILM: Coneheads (1993) 3.00 FILM: Flash Gordon (1980) 5.10 FILM: Bedazzled (2000) 7.00 Flash Gordon 8.00 FILM: Tremors (1990) 9.50 FILM: Highlander (1986) 12.00am FILM: Mary Reilly (1996) 2.00 Flash Gordon 3.00 Peter Benchley’s Creature 4.00 FILM: Coneheads (1993)

12.30pm The Palm Beach Story (1942) 2.00 Barefoot In The Park (1967) 3.50 The Comancheros (1961) 5.45 The Disorderly Orderly (1964) 7.20 Steptoe And Son (1972) 9.00 Broken Arrow (1950) 10.40 The Comancheros (1961) 12.30am Barefoot In The Park (1967)

10.00am Cinema Paradiso (1988) 1.00pm Factotum (2005) 2.40 Cache (2005) 4.45 The Page Turner (2006) 6.15 New Police Story (2004) 8.20 The Fountain (2006) 10.00 Hard Candy (2006) 11.50 Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession (2004) 1.55am Indie Close-Up

1.00pm Timeline (2003) 3.15 Call Me Madam (1953) 5.30 The Mark Of Zorro (1974). Swashbuckling adventure. 7.00 The First Wives Club (1996) 9.00 Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) Sixties comedy spoof. 10.45 The Machinist (2004) 12.45am Surviving The Game (1994)

11.00am Sweethearts (1938) 1.00pm The Private Lives Of Elizabeth And Essex (1939) 3.00 Gone With The Wind (1939) 6.55 Please Don’t Eat The Daisies (1960) 9.00 Reckless (1984) 10.40 Westworld (1973) 12.20am Eye Of The Devil (1967) 1.55 Mutiny On The Bounty (1962)

Classics

Indie


039_LS381_TV_mon

7/11/08

10:37 AM

Page 1

monday 21 The Gadget Show Five, 8pm Getting ready for your hols? Can’t wait until your break starts, in fact it starts at the airport before you’ve even taken off? Then make sure that when you buy that thing you never knew you needed but is vital at the electrical shop five minutes before take-off you have a bit of education.

Panorama BBC1, 8.30pm Jeremy Vine (left) asks how the British government can be seen to be green when they’re championing the cause of a third runway at Heathrow which will dramatically increase air travel in the UK. Critics claim the government has cynically twisted the science around air pollution to further its own cause.

Jonathan Meades: Magnetic North BBC4, 11.30pm Viewers either love or loathe Jonathan’s slightly pretentious presenting style – but at least he’s offering intelligent telly. Tonight he travels to Germany’s coast to decipher exactly what ‘northerness’ is. Is it to be found in gothic spires, fantastical skylines, or all the above?

 terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Step up to the Plate 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.05 Roar 4.30 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.35 Grange Hill 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News The latest national and international news stories from the BBC, followed by Weather. 6.30 South East Today; Weather The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South of England. 7.00 The One Show Mix of interviews, topical reports and features from around the UK. 7.30 After You’ve Gone Jimmy is short of cash, so Diana hatches a plan that will help them both. 7.57 BBC News and Regional News National and regional news bulletin from the BBC. 8.00 EastEnders Max attempts to bond with his children. 8.30 Panorama See highlights. 9.00 New Tricks The team reinvestigate the murder of a popular DJ who died live on air after an arson attack at an 80s music station. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather The latest news, sport, weather and features from the South of England. 10.33 BBC Weather The latest weather forecast. 10.35 River Police Documentary about the police officers who patrol the capital’s waterways. 11.05 FILM: Where The Heart Is (2000) Drama. 1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: Cars, Cops and Criminals 2.05 A Taste of My Life 2.35 Bargain Hunt

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Bob the Builder 7.10 Lunar Jim 7.20 Little Robots 7.30 Louie 7.40 Pingu 7.45 Sesame Tree 8.00 Secret Show 8.15 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.35 Freefonix 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 The Flintstones 10.55 FILM: The Three Lives Of Thomasina (1964) 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living in the Sun 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the ultimate quiz show. 6.30 Animal Park Ben Fogle and Kate Humble take a peek behind the scenes at Longleat Safari Park. 7.00 Battle of the Bishops 8.00 University Challenge Students from the Royal Veterinary College, London take on the team representing the University of York for a place in the second round. 8.30 Chinese Food Made Easy Ching-He Huang continues her mission to bring fresh, easy and healthy Chinese food to the UK. 9.00 Dragons’ Den The Dragons chat with a talking tree, there’s a machine that turns air into water, a non-slip travel cushion and a company that’s aiming to transform the nation’s gardens by brightening up the tired old garden fence. 10.00 Would I Lie to You? Comedy panel show hosted by Angus Deayton in which teams must sort the truth from the fiction. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis. 11.20 Tribal Wives 12.20am Ellery Queen 1.10 Joins BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 ER 10.55 Without a Trace 11.50 Supporting Acts 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 The Class 1.00 Will and Grace 1.30 Small Railway Journeys 1.40 Desperate Housewives (x2) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy

7.25 Mio Mao 7.30 Roary the Racing Car 7.40 The Mr. Men Show 7.50 Make Way for Noddy 8.05 Fifi and the Flowertots 8.15 Sailor Sid 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Funky Town 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Milkshake! Music Box 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put your Money Where your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home 3.05 News 3.10 FILM: Bermuda Triangle (1996) 5.00 News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home and Away Kane is caught red-handed. Larry is admitted to hospital. Irene goes to the authorities. 6.30 Wild Animal ER Les rescues a badger who responds by giving him a nasty bite and sending him to casualty. 7.00 Five News National and international news. 7.15 Cricket on Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from day four of the second npower Test match between England and South Africa at Headingley Carnegie. 8.00 The Gadget Show See highlights. 9.00 Banged Up Documentary series presented by David Blunkett in which ten youths spend ten days in prison. 10.00 CCTV Cities Series revealing real life footage of urban crime, presented by Donal MacIntyre. 11.05 FILM: Lords Of Dogtown (2005) Dramatised account of the rise and fall of the skateboarding craze in 70s California. 1.10am USPGA Golf 2.05 Golf – The Challenge 2.55 NHRA Drag Racing 3.45 UEFA Cup Classics 4.05 Boxing: Fight of the Week 5.10 House Doctor

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Where Are They Now? 9.30 Sky Sports Classics 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket (x2) 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Where Are They Now? 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30am Test Cricket 2.30 Where Are They Now? 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 British Rally Championships 2008 5.00 Where Are They Now? 5.30 Pipeline Adventures

6.00 Meridian Tonight All the latest news, sport and breaking stories from across the region. Including Meridian weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Paul’s torn when Jonny reveals Katie’s plan. 7.30 Coronation Street Will Steve manage a reconciliation with Michelle? 8.00 Desperately Seeking Mortgages: Tonight A look at the current housing economy. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Fiz accept John back in her life? 9.00 Police, Camera, Action Special programme investigating the behaviour of boy-racers, looking at what makes them tick and whether anything can be done to curb their behaviour. 10.00 News at Ten and Weather 10.40 FILM: True Lies (1994) Explosive comedy thriller starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis and Tom Arnold. 1.15am Wright Across America 2.05 Hack 2.55 Loose Women 3.40 Moving Day 4.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons While under hypnosis, Homer recalls finding a dead body at the age of 12, which he never reported. 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren finds the repercussions of his lie are weighing heavily on him, as the rest of the family fall apart. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.55 3 Minute Wonder The Natural History Museum explores the history of evolution. 8.00 Dispatches In the next few weeks every girl aged 12 to 13 in Britain will be offered a vaccination to help protect them against cervical cancer. Journalist Jane Moore, who has two daughters, explores the issues involved. 9.00 I’m 46: Help Me to Read Three-part documentary series revealing the reality of Britain’s adult literacy crisis. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the Big Brother house. 11.05 Sacha Baron Cohen: New Heroes of Comedy A profile of the comedian behind Ali G and Borat. 12.10am 4Music on the Beach 1.10 Big Brother Live 4.15 St Elsewhere 5.05 Richard and Judy

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Fishing: Bass Fishing 1.00 Live Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 Sports Adventure 5.30 Wild Spirits 6.00 British Rally Championships 2008 7.00 Where Are They Now? 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 Test Cricket 11.30 World Motor Sport 2.00am British Rally Championships 2008 3.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Test Cricket 9.00 WWE Vintage Collection 10.00 WWE The Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00pm WWE Vintage Collection 1.00 WWE Experience 2.00 WWE Afterburn 3.00 WWE Vintage Collection 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 WWE Smackdown 9.00 WWE Great American Bash 12.00am Speedway 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Gladiators 6.00 Malcolm in the Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Night Cops 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Inside: Miami Vice 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Stargate Atlantis 2.40 Airline (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Trexx and Flipside 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Addicted to Boob Jobs 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Mighty Boosh 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Addicted to Boob Jobs 12.45am Snog Marry Avoid? 1.15 Trexx and Flipside

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Proms on Four 2008: Messiaen and Saint-Saens 9.30 The Unseen Alistair Cooke 10.30 Mark Lawson Talks to Jonathan Meades 11.30 Jonathan Meades: Magnetic North. See highlights. 12.30am Proms on Four 2008: Messiaen and Saint-Saens 2.30 Mark Lawson

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: 48 Hrs (1982) 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am ITunes Festival 2008

3.30pm Those Were the Days: ‘81 Charles and Diana’s Wedding 4.35 P D James: Black Tower 5.40 Heartbeat 6.40 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 7.55 P D James: Black Tower 9.00 Drama Trails: Doc Martin to Foyles War 10.00 Numb3rs 11.00 Clocking Off 12.00am Robin of Sherwood

12.25pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live. The house action continues. 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.05 FILM: Crocodile Dundee II (1988) 12.10am Big Brother: Live

6.05pm Deal or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 Kirstie and Phil’s Property Guide 10.35 Without a Trace 11.30 FILM: Killer’s Kiss (1955) 12.45am The Closer 1.50 Location, Location, Location

4.00pm Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Make Me a Supermodel US 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.05am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Make Me a Supermodel

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.00pm Doctor Who 5.00 Porridge 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.20 The Worst Week of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 Fawlty Towers 12.20am The Worst Week of My Life

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x4) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Two and a Half Men (x2) 12.50 The Frank Skinner Show 1.50 Sexy Cam

3.00pm Deadliest Catch: Lobstermen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 10.00 Custom My Ride 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA

1.00pm Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Bedazzled (2000) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Flash Gordon 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Event Horizon (1997) 11.50 Heroes 1.00am FILM: Coneheads (1993) 3.00 Angel 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World

3.10pm Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 4.45 Hail The Conquering Hero (1944) 6.30 Modern Greats and Classics Close Up 7.00 Sink The Bismarck! (1960) 8.40 D-Day The Sixth Of June (1956) War yarn. 10.30 Rio Grande (1950) 12.15am Kiss Of The Vampire (1963)

11.45am A Scanner Darkly (2006) 1.30pm Indie CloseUp 2.00 The Tango Lesson (1997) 3.45 Schultze Gets The Blues (2003) 5.45 The World’s Fastest Indian (2005) 8.00 This Boy’s Life (1993) 10.00 Warrior King (2005) 11.55 The Escapist (2001) 1.30am A Scanner Darkly (2006)

1.00pm Boomerang (1947) Courtroom drama. 2.50 The Whole Town’s Talking (1935) 4.45 Carrington VC (1954) War drama starring that old smoothie David Niven 6.55 Explorers (1985) 9.00 Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) Sports spoof comedy. 10.45 Hustle And Flow (2005) 12.55am Keane (2004)

2.00pm Mark Of The Vampire (1935) 3.00 The Yellow Rolls-Royce (1965) 5.20 Across The Wide Missouri (1951) 6.50 2010 (1984) 9.00 Ryan’s Daughter (1970) 12.20am Where The Boys Are (1960) 2.10 Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse (1961) 5.00 The Two Mrs Carrolls (1947)

Classics

Indie


Latest 7 magazine: Issue 381 15-21 July 2008