aloud! family teens your teen, translated MASTERING YOUR EMOTIONS
So, how do you master that control? Here are a few suggestions:
HAVE YOU EVER SAID THAT? I know I have … many
times. “You made me _______” --fill in the blank. It could be happy, angry, sad, crazy, confused, feel ugly, feel pretty, feel smart or dumb; any and all of these and many more. You find yourself feeling that you can’t control the thoughts, feelings, and emotions swirling around in your brain, and you find yourself lashing out or maybe feeling helpless. But really, is that true? I’m sure, by this time in your life, you have been told a million times that you are responsible for your actions and the consequences of those actions. Read that again: You are responsible for YOUR actions. Just yours, that magnificent person you see in the mirror. Not those of anyone else. Hmmm… . What does that even mean? I believe that it means that no matter what anyone else says or does, you are responsible for only one thing—and that is your RESPONSE to that thing they do. Of course we all enjoy a compliment and love to get what we want. And, of course, we have all been in arguments or conflicts. We have all felt good, and felt bad, based on what someone else has done or said. But remember, even in situations where you are unhappy with what’s occurring, that you do not have to attend every exchange with another person you’re invited to, and you are the only one in control of you.
• Remember that your thoughts directly cause your feelings and behaviors, not what anyone else does or says. Negative thought patterns can distort your perception of reality, contributing to feelings of stress, anger, and helplessness. Regain your sense of calm by taking back control of your thought patterns. • Stay present. Today is truly all we have. We can never change things from the past or predict things in the future. Find a quiet space to think and focus on the present, become aware of your emotions, and decide the best response to make in stressful situations. • Be kind. Be kind to yourself. Sometimes we ﬁnd ourselves in situations where we make one of those terrible knee-jerk reactions. We have all done it. But give yourself grace. Grace to think it through so that the next time your brain will automatically go to the response you would prefer … the healthier, more positive, and productive response. w
Hilary Porta is the founder of R3 International, Inc. and is the Principal/CEO of H Porta Coaching based out of Mooresville with a satellite office in the UK. An international speaker and frequent contributor to numerous publications, Hilary works with teens in addition to professional athletes, the military, and anyone struggling with anxiety.
WRITER HILARY PORTA
January 2021 - Lake Norman Woman Magazine