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LAGNIAPPE MAGAZINE • MAY 2, 2013 • VOLUME 31 NUMBER 9

24 24 THE GRAND DESIGN • Lagniappe tells the story of the long journey of the marble altar of the Cathedral Of The Immaculate Conception — an altar masons once felt was so large it couldn’t be installed. 30 MOTHER’S DAY • Karla Wall relates the tale of a local bride who responded to her mother’s unexpected death by following through with the bridal plans she and her mother had made. 36 GRADUATION SPECIAL • Have you heard of the “Graduate Mindset List”? We’ll tell you more about it than you’ll ever want to know. Also, learn some secrets about Kurt Vonnegut’s graduation speech about the virtues of sunscreen. 40 BANKING • What can you do to teach your children financial awareness? Also, we look at methods you can use to protect your assets. 44 DENTAL • Topics include myths about root canals, the nature of the dental exam and the effects of gum disease on health.

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48 CONTRABAND DAYS • Get your pullout schedule of all the events for the big weekend.

Lagniappe Magazine Serving SWLA Since 1983 Publishers Bob Hartnett Greg Pavlovich Editor Brad Goins Associate Editor Karla Wall Assistant Laura Landry Layout & Design Mike Manis Advertising Sales Tanya Alsobrook Patty Hebert Chester Rogers Classified Manager Kenny Pierce Distribution Manager Edward Frazer Contributing Writers Jeremy Alford Dr. Dale Archer Duane Bergeron Angie Dilmore Todd Elliott Rocke Fournet Arthur Hebert John Maginnis Nola Mae Ross Rick Sarro Chuck Shepherd Vic Wukovits Office Phone (337) 433-8502 Office Fax (337) 433-8964 Mailing Address PO Box 3292 Lake Charles, LA 70602 Shipping Address 2906 Deaton Street Lake Charles, LA 70601 Editorial e-mail edit@thelanyap.com Advertising e-mail ads@thelanyap.com Classified e-mail class@thelanyap.com Lagniappe Magazine is published the first and third Thursday of each month. Manuscripts, photographs, comments and queries are invited. Return postage must accompany all materials submitted if return is requested. Publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials. Opinions presented by the columnists in this publication do not necessarily express the views ofLagniappe Magazine.

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departments 6 9 10 12 14 16

Up Front News Roundup Pierre Sez Out & About Weird News Tech Bytes

17 18 20 59 60 63

LA Politics Taking Charge File 13 Lake Area People What's Happening Band Schedule

64 65 66 68

Reel Talk Mounted Memories Sarro On Sports Classified

COVER PHOTO BY VICTOR MONSOUR May 2, 2013

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front Nola Mae Ross Update Most Lagniappe readers will know that Lagniappe contributor and local historian Nola Mae Ross passed away recently. Folks have been wondering how to get her books. You can call 564-5859 or email Susancastleberry@yahoo.com for copies of books. You may also want to stop by the Louisiana Market, which always has a good stock of Ross books on hand.

Our Public Service As you might imagine, we get a lot of Public Service Announcements, or PSAs, here in the Up Front offices. We must pick and choose amongst them. To do so, we ask questions: Does the information tend toward the general good of the public? Is the information unlikely to be found in venues other than Lagniappe? There’s also the matter of how much creativity went into the PSA. There was plenty in the headline of one we got recently: “TOILETS ARE NOT TRASH CANS.” It has a nice ring to it, and it also has the strength of novelty: it’s not something you hear every day. The creative headline was followed by the subhead “LET’S TALK.” “Let’s talk” is a phrase that’s used by bureaucrats when they don’t want to talk to you but do want you to pay attention while they give you orders. Among the things the citizens are told not to flush down the toilets are diapers, rags, toddler toys and motor oil. I’m naïve in respect to this matter. You see, I would have thought that adults know that one doesn’t flush diapers or toddler toys down the toilet. But is it really so? I know that many people here become mothers when they’re 17, 18, 19. If they’ve had a child, they must be adults, no? And perhaps, at their young age and preliminary level of education, they feel that flushing a diaper down a toilet is every bit as adult as not knowing how to make toast, not covering their mouths when they cough and calling mammaw to ask why the cable isn’t working. Anyway, those who consider themselves really unusually grown-up adults, please remember: no diapers down the toilet, even if you’ve passed your 18th birthday. And while we’re at it, keep bowling balls, fishing rods, oil drums, welding masks, refrigerators and M-34 tanks out of the toilet. Thank you.

FEMA Death Cathedrals If you’re familiar with The Independent magazine of Lafayette, which is now a print monthly, you know the magazine has a regular column that runs three headlines: “Bon,” “Pas Bon” and “Couillon.” Of course, these French terms mean good, not good and crazy. For the crazy, or “Couillon,” section, The Independent sometimes turns to conspiracy theorists, who often produce Grade A crazy. In the latest issue, the conspiracy theorists in question were members of a Lafayette group called SOAR: Save Our American Republic. The Independent alleges that SOAR runs ads in Lafayette that advocate “legislation” that would allow Louisiana to “ignore” federal law. As is sometimes the case, it’s not the craziness itself that’s the funny part; it’s the

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May 2, 2013

way the magazine writes about it. Take for instance that notion of ignoring federal law. The Independent wrote that one might want to ignore federal law “because, you know, guns, and FEMA Death Cathedrals and stuff.” When SOAR paid to publish a letter by one Louis Ackal in which Ackal stated he would “defend the citizens of my parish from unconstitutional abuse or harassment by federal agents.” The Independent wrote, “We wish him well in that noble endeavor. By noble endeavor we mean paranoia.” I find that funny (notwithstanding the fact that I do have to get Dept. of Justice approval of every column I write). Of course, The Independent pointed out the old problem: no state gets more money per capita from the federal government than Louisiana.

Houma Catches Up The international press seemed more confused than repulsed by Louisiana’s latest law against droopy drawers. “Saggy Pants To Be Banned in U.S. Town” read one overseas headline. The news stories kept mentioning “the town” where the ordinance would apply, but never the name of the town. Since this trendsetting law was the work of the Terrebonne Parish Police Jury, and Houma is in Terrebonne Parish, the Up Fronter concludes that the town is Houma. A few years ago, I read that Houma had a performance art space, which is something Lake Charles certainly didn’t have. But in terms of droopy drawers legislature, Houma was obviously years behind Lake Charles. But it’s caught up. Sometimes droopy drawer laws are considered violations of the 14th Amendment of the Constitution; you know, the pesky one with that part that goes “All persons born … in the United States … are citizens of the United States …” (Back when people used to tell me they were “Constitutionalists,” there was some devilish part of me that wanted to ask, “Oh, do you like the 14th Amendment?” But I never actually asked that. I’m still around, aren’t I?) Anyway, some are also concerned that these ordinances cause racial profiling. This concern may have been behind a Yahoo story for April 14 that mentioned a “town in Louisiana” and “racial profiling” in the headline. Yahoo is the most read news source in the U.S. Louisiana always manages to get the big publicity. Because Louisiana gets so much of this sort of publicity, there may be some overseas newspaper readers who think Louisiana is a country that’s entirely separate from the United States. And they may be right.

Keep The Bad Ones Off The Street On April 14, the organization PINAC (Photography Is Not A Crime) reported that Lafayette Parish police arrested a man who was standing 50 feet from a traffic stop, recording it with his phone. A tape of Alexander John Lege’s phone video shows a Lafayette officer threatening to confiscate Lege’s phone as “evidence.” In response, Lege says he routinely pulls over and videos traffic stops as a matter of course. Police then ask for his ID, but Lege says he wasn’t driving and hadn’t committed a crime. He hands over the ID “under duress.”


Police then threaten him with loitering and say his presence “unsettled them.” At this point, Lege says he’s “simply an activist.” That was a mistake. Police arrested him, only to release him the next day. For a good laugh, look up Lege’s mug shot on the Internet. You’ll never see a less threatening-looking human being. Lege looks like the brainy kid in high school who can’t get any dates because he’s too skinny and has too many pimples. PINAC says the U.S. Dept. of Justice is on record as having warned officers not to arrest people just because they videotape the scene of an accident. We here at the Up Front offices will keep getting all sorts of interesting stories until people in public figure out that anything that is said or done in public can be now recorded in public by anyone with a cellphone in public.

Muck Around When Times Are Good Now that Gov. Bobby Jindal’s withdrawn his tax plan, I don’t see a great deal of value in belaboring the weak points of the plan. However, I will note that a few days ago, the Daily Advocate reported that “Jindal is still prodding lawmakers to eliminate the individual income tax. He just isn’t offering any advice as to how to do it.” Well, if that’s true, it’s just more dirty pool by Jindal. Let’s move on to real people who are interested in doing more than prodding. New Orleans’ Gambit reported that Dan Juneau, president of the Louisiana Assoc. of Business and Industry, which is said by some to be the biggest lobbyist in Baton Rouge, offered some “unsolicited advice” about taxation to Louisiana lawmakers. Consider these words from Juneau: “Do not attempt tax reform in times of uncertain revenues or budget crises. Tax reform is best done when budget surpluses are occurring and revenues are on a sustained growth curve.” I don’t know what shocks me more – that the words make sense to me or that they come from a lobbyist. Would you do me a favor? I know you like me; you read my column and everything. Please, indulge me and read those words one more time: “Do not attempt tax reform in times of uncertain revenues or budget crises. Tax reform is best done when budget surpluses are occurring and revenues are on a sustained growth curve.” Is Juneau, who, I guess, is considered the state’s top business rep, a conservative or liberal? Who cares? Apparently he understands how government works and — more to the point — he’s not afraid to say how it works. As a little Lagniappe, or a little desert, enjoy some more of Juneau’s comments. “Before embarking on a tax reform mission, gather hard, verifiable data about the current tax system and any variants that may be proposed. Share that information with potential proponents and opponents of the reforms. Be totally transparent and honest about the numbers at every step of the process. …” Well, if a guy this clear-headed is in a position of economic power, it can’t be all bad. Juneau was quoted in Clancy Dubos’ April 12 blog for New Orleans’ Gambit. My only concern is that Juneau’s comments may not be consistent with the Goins Doctrine. In case you’ve forgotten the Doctrine, I repeat it here: “Everything will be OK if we just don’t raise taxes on rich people.”

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The Kardashian Diaries — The Shocking Missing Page The prestigious periodical inTouch has just published a “bookazine” titled The Complete Kardashian Diaries. And it only costs $10! I was astonished that someone could condense the Kardashian diaries into 224 pages without leaving out some of the substantial material. That’s like turning The Brothers Karazmozov into a tract. I figured something important must surely have been left out. I was right. Using all my best investigative journalism skills, I was, after long, arduous and dangerous endeavor, able to uncover the missing page of the Kardashian diaries. Reader, I present it to you now: KARDASHIAN DIARIES The Missing Page Dear diary well taylor at the cma yesterday she just keep talkin and she sayin she wonder does kanye really luv me. don’t dat hater know aint nobody got back like me. people sayin Im fat. guess day dont unnerstan havin a baby. im eatin for 2 now. dat means 2 whoppers. den i go to mikky Ds cuz I like there frys better so dats 2 frys biggee size or whatever an 2 of them hot fugg sundays I like so much. anyway days just haters cuz day know all dat just makes my back bigger. aint nobody got back like me. i wonder why i cant get dat lenny kravitz 2 call me. i guess he marry or somethin. anyway he old. daddy always axin why i dont talk like Rmenian an of course I say daddy here we all mericans an freedom aint free. dat hater journalist axin me well what do you actually do. what do I do???? i take care of business wit my girls all day dats what I do. you think dat aint no fulltime job hater???? den he ax me how do I got so famous. how many times I have to say it hater AINT NOBODY GOT BACK LIKE ME. hate to haters an hate to all haters i hate them. o an diary miley wuz at guccis yesterday an snikker at me cause I like gang em style. she say dat old skool an she dont like nuthin but harlem shuffle. dat haters got white girl problems. kanye ask me why i aint finish twilite an i say i cant keep up wit what all them people R doin. how i can keep all dat stuff in my head for weeks at a time. sides I dont wanna tell him but i dont really believe theirs any such thing as werewolves. anyway i told him i dont like to read. people dont listen. an de haters are worse. aint nobody got back like me. one day kanye gone see dat. more later diary. yurs truly K

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LOCAL NEWS STORIES OF THE PAST TWO WEEKS Chennault Awards Contract For New Hangar

CPSB Faces $13 Million Budget Deficit

The Chennault International Airport Authority has awarded the contract for construction of its new hangar To Alfred Palma Construction for about $10.3 million. The project, which should be completed by June 2014, will create about 500 permanent jobs. The new hangar will be 112,000 square feet, and will also have 6,000 sq. ft. of office space. It’s designed to hold four planes and will be able to house larger aircraft.

The Calcasieu Parish School Board will face a $13 million deficit for the 2013-2014 fiscal year, officials said at a recent committee meeting. The school system is expecting a reduction of $3.6 million in state funding, an increase of $2.9 million in retirement costs, an increase of $1.5 million in health insurance, and $2.2 million in local funding transfers to charter schools. These major changes total nearly $11 million. A hiring freeze has been suggested as a way to alleviate the deficit, along with consolidating schools with low enrollment. The school board will make official recommendations on May 21.

SPAR Waterpark Expansion Underway Work is underway on a $1.7 million expansion of the Sulphur Parks and Recreation water park. The expansion will include a lazy river, and a larger pool area for children. The project should be completed by midto late summer.

Port To Build Employee Housing Facility The Port of Lake Charles will build a $70 million industrial employee housing facility which will house up to 4,000 workers.

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Pinnacle Purchase Of Ameristar Approved The sale of Ameristar Casinos to Pinnacle Entertainment was recently approved by Ameristar’s stockholders. “Approximately 99.8 percent of the shares voting at today’s meeting voted in favor of the agreement and plan of merger. These shares represented approximately 81.6 percent of the total outstanding shares of Ameristar common stock as of the March 22, 2013 record date for the meeting,” according to a statement from Ameristar.Pinnacle will take over all of Ameristar’s eight casino properties, including the Lake Charles project that is under construction.

The City Council recently passed a resolution authorizing Mayor Chris Duncan to submit a request to DOTD to four- or five-lane La. 1256 (Ruth Street) — the strip of highway from Interstate 10 to Walker Road — and La. 27 from Patton Street to Ellender Bridge on the Intracoastal Waterway. The request is being made, according to city officials, because of expected traffic increases associated with upcoming industrial expansion. The city’s resolution was forwarded to Grant Bush, Imperial Calcasieu Regional Planning and Development Commission director, and Dennis Decker, DOTD assistant secretary for multimodal planning, for review and to address funding and prioritization for the recommended expansion.

Boys, Girls Village Opens New Admin. Building Boys and Girls Village officials recently celebrated the grand opening of its new and improved administration building on U.S. 90, more than two years after a fire destroyed the old facility. The 3,800-square-foot facility has eight offices, compared to the four offices in the old building. Most of the funding for the new building came from donations to a Boys Village Fire Recovery Fund set up at Cameron State Bank. The November 2010 fire destroyed the Old Bell Mansion — which served as the administration building for nearly 60 years — and damaged two neighboring buildings. A training center was modified to accommodate administrative staff until the new facility was finished.

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If you’re like me and udder ol’ folks, you watch a lot uf de History Channel and its udder networks de Discovery Channel an’ Nat Geo. One uf de programs dat caught my attention a coupla monts ago wuz about de natural gaz drillin’ operations in South Dakota. It wuz pointed out dem small towns couldn’t handle de huge migration uf workers in dar town, so de drillin’ companies contracted wit’ outfits dat came in an’ built what amounted to dormitories to provide rest, food and medical attention. Dat same housin’ idea iz comin’ to SWLA thanks to de Port uf Lake Charles an’ Greenfield Logistics Solutions. Ian Foster, wit’ GLS, sez hiz company haz operated such compounds in de Middle East, Africa and Canada. De GLS operation here will take care uf 4,000 workers. De compound will be built on 200 acres of Port property off La 397. Dis iz jus’ some uf de changes you gonna see az a result uf $47 billion dollars uf construction, mostly in natural gas, comin’ to our area. Like it wuz explained on de History Channel, companies want healthy, well-rested, well-fed workers. GLS iz experienced in dis line uf work. We know we’ll have success wit’ dis project. De $70 million project will require some local workers to build, an’ dat means mo jobs. Den dars de problem uf gettin’ workers from de GLS site to Sasol or whatever udder project day’ll be workin’ at. Now iz de time for improvements to roads an’ infrastructure to make dis growth happen without messin’ up traffic flow.

Mo Good News De udder night, my stockbroker fran, Max, made de observation dat every hotel in de area wuz full. Dat wuz de weekend uf de Fast Pitch 56 Softball Tournament at Frasch Park in Sulphur. I pointed out to him dat dis would be a familiar sight in our area for some times to come az de Southwest Louisiana Convention and Visitors Bureau continues to submit winnin’ bids for state ball tournaments and events for our area. Az u read dis, de Louisiana High School Assoc. baseball championships are being helt in Sulphur for several classes. Udders are goin’ on in Monroe an’ New Awlins. Anudder big event comin’ dat will require mucho hotel rooms is de Louisiana Soccer Assoc. State Cup, which will bring 1,000 participants to our area. By de way, de Fast Pitch 56 tournament, now in its 13th year, set new records for attendance. Mo folks comin’ to de area means mo hotel space, food an’ gas bein’ sold to visitors. We would like to congratulate de Sam Houston an’ Hackberry girls for winnin’ state championships in de Fast Pitch 56 Championship tournament. Both de Lady Broncos an’ de Lady Mustangs are repeat champions, an’ dat speaks volumes for de kind uf athletic programs we have in de Lake Area.

Sulphur Wants To Be Ready For Growth If you travel on Highway 27 South near Stine Lumber and beyond at any time, you’d swear you were on Canal Street in New Awlins at 5 pm. It’s a very busy twolane road, an’ it’s gonna get busier. Now de City Council an’ mayor are tryin’ to make travel on dat section uf Highway 27 a little easier for locals an’ de industries to de south uf dat area. De City uf Sulphur has written to de Dept. uf Transportation an’ Development axin’ for de four-lanin’ uf Highway 27 all de way to de Ellender Bridge. Expansions at Chenier and Sempra an’ de expansion uf de West Cal Arena will mean mo traffic yet on dat stretch uf highway. Again, de time iz now for our legislators to get crackin’ on de DOTD to move de four- or five-lanin’ uf dat important stretch uf highway. As we often say, better roads


an’ infrastructure leads to economic growth. An’ dis area iz poised for de growth. So let’s get de ball rollin’ on improvin’ de roads and bridges to make dis happen.

Smokin’ Taxes Killed For Now Lots uf retailers in our area wuz a bit nervous recently when House Bill 110 came before a committee uf de Legislature. It would have increased de cost uf a pack uf cigarettes by more dan a dollar. An’ udder tobacco products like ceegars would have seen a 68 percent increase in taxes. Retailers talked some sense into de legislators, tellin’ dem where de taxes had been jacked up in udder states, retailers had gone out uf bidness an’ dar wuz now moves on to reverse de taxes. When de dust settled, none uf de tobacco tax bills made it out uf committee an’ retailers wuz safe for now. Gov. Bobby Jindal vowed to veto any such tax increase if it came to hiz desk. But it didn’t come to dat. Meanwhile, Jindal made brownie points wit’ smokers an’ retailers .

Money-Hungry Legislators Now dat de cigarette tax wuz kilt in, legislators are lookin at taxin’ internet sales. It’s no secret dat all de big chains have realized de future doesn’t involve sales at brick and mortar stores, but online. An’ in mos’ cases, folks who buy stuff online don’t pay sales tax. Legislators don’t like dat because day’re tryin’ to get every penny day can. You can bet de online stores are gonna gather in Baton Rouge to fight dat tax when it comes up. Now dem legislators wouldn’t tink uf rollin’ back spendin’. Dat wouldn’t look good on dar campaign ads when day come up for reelection. De problem isn’t a revenue problem … it’s a spendin’ problem.

Carbon Problem Won’t Go Away A buncha folks who live near Industrial Carbon Services on Industrial Avenue have been complainin’ to de media an de City uf Lake Charles for months now about havin’ black dust all ova dar homes an’ cars etc. Dept uf Environmental Quality, City uf Lake Charles officials and residents uf de area plan on meetin’ soon to see what can be done to get rid uf de black dust. Just imagine dis in your neighborhood. An’ if we let dis continue in dat Industrial Road area, it could very well happen in your area. We urge de City uf Lake Charles to take any action necessary to stop whatever is goin’ on at dis location to cause dis black dust in de neighborhood.

Boy Scouts Fundin’ Causin’ Brew Ha Ha Supporters uf Boy Scouts in our area wuz shocked to learn recently dat new national United Way policy could affect fundin’ uf de local Boy Scouts Troops by de United Way. One feller indicated on his United Way pledge card he wanted his pledge to go to de Boy Scouts and questioned what would happen to de money if de Allocations and Review Committee refuses to fund Boy Scouts. Folks, we can tell you a buncha folks wit’ deep pockets have been payin’ attention to dis brew ha ha. It ain’t settled yet. We tink it would be a shame not to fund de local Boy Scouts. If dat happens, it may affect de local United Way big-time down de road.

Medicaid Expansion Killed Supporters uf Medicaid expansion in our state wuz disappointed when a House committee killed an expansion bill. A group called Together Negotiate is urgin’ Jindal to do what other states have done and negotiate with Medicaid. But Jindal will have none uf it. An’ dat means a lot uf po folks in de state won’t get de kinda medical attention day deserve. Together Negotiate, a group dat represents a cross-section uf our state, says 400,000 people are affected by dis bill. Jindal’s motive appears to be political in nature, as de Republicans and Democrats mostly vote down party lines on dis one. We ax, why not take de money? It’s our federal tax dollars payin’ for it. Just look at your next check pay stub and you’ll see a Medicare deduction. In udder words, we givin’ but we ain’t gettin’.

Deep Taughts While Watchin’ De History Channel 10) What udder tricks do de legislators have up dar sleeve? 9) Why does ammo go up every time I go to buy a box or two? 8) Why don’t Lake Charles have a real music festival like Lafayette and New Orleans? 7) Can McNeese salvage de baseball season? 6) Why did de umpires make so many bad calls in dat LSU-South Carolina Series? 5) How much longer before dar are new lights on de I-10 bridge? 4) Why won’t day let me change de music on de jukebox at KD’s? 3) Why don’t de Astros reduce de price uf dar tickets? 2) Why do my maids keep quittin’? 1) Will we really get our share uf de $50 billion costal restoration project?

Final Shot Sawed Lefty at de John DeRossier crawfish boil. He sed he wuz on tray number 4 an’ had tickets for 2 more. It’s a wonder Lefty don’t walk backwards. ‘Til next time, lache pas la patate. May 2, 2013

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OUT & ABOUT

arthur hebert

Lake Area Burgers I thought I would do a themed column this issue. I have been eating burgers recently at several places, some new and some well-established in the area. So here are my impressions of them. All are in Lake Charles, and run between $7 and $10. While I no longer do lettuce, tomato and pickles, all of the burgers I tried normally come with veggies. As most know, my standard is a bacon cheeseburger.

ANNA’S KITCHEN 3607 Legion St.

A burger from OB's

This establishment has taken over the space that Jackson Deli occupied in the Shell station. The menu offers several types of hamburgers. I got a Bacon Attack Cheeseburger. While not spectacular, it was decent. The bacon turned out to a precooked bacon product. The patty was tasty and juicy, and the cheese American. It came out on a regular bun. As I said before, it was good, but not spectacular. It was nice that you could see the sandwich being made before you.

OB’S BAR AND GRILL 1301 Ryan St. The menu here has changed considerably since my last visit. It offers several burgers, but the one that caught my eye was the one with a fried egg. I ordered it with bacon and cheese. It comes out on a white sourdough bun that seems sturdier than the jalapeno cheese bun. The patty was topped with really nice bacon, cheese and the hard-fried egg. I’ve always liked this combo, which another burger place also offers. I was happy to see it on the menu, and very happy to eat it.

JIMBO’S QUICK STOP 5402 Common St.

JAG’S BISTRO 425 7th St. This menu offers several interesting burgers. I recently tried the LBJ, which I thought was named for the ex-president but found out was named for the owner’s mother. The patty here is seasoned before

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forming and cooking. It weighs 8 ounces. Served on a bun baked in-house, the burger is stacked with sautéed onions and peppers, bacon, and fried onion rings. It comes with a Coney Island sauce (tomato-based, with

vegetables in it), which you can get on the side. It stands tall, and was a treat to eat. It had flavor, juiciness, and a lot of crunch. I love onions, and I loved this burger.

I have heard about this establishment’s burgers for ages, and I finally got one. It was worth the wait. I ordered a halfpound cheeseburger with bacon and jalapenos. I like a little spice sometimes. It came out on a standard large bun stacked with a thick juicy patty (hand formed, I think), excellent bacon and, of course, American cheese topped with pickled jalapeno slices. While it pretty much fell apart, it was worth it all the way. It’s an old-fashioned burger of superb quality. Arthur Hebert’s food and restaurant blog is www.swlaeats.blogspot.com


Healthy Image Named Small Business Of Year Healthy Image was recently named Small Business of the Year by the Small Business Committee of the Chamber Southwest Louisiana. Healthy Image was formed in 2002, providing full-service marketing and communication services to businesses of all sizes in Southwest Louisiana. The busi-

ness is owned by Kristy Armand, Christine Fisher and Barbara VanGossen, and has six employees. The agency has over 100 local, regional and national clients in a variety of business sectors, including health care, industry, finance,

realty and development, tourism, arts, education, non-profit agencies, insurance, politics, extermination, tourism and many others. Healthy Image was awarded the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Blue Ribbon

Small Business Award in February 2013, and was named the 2012 Southwest Louisiana District Small Business of the Year by the Louisiana Economic Development and the Small Business Administration. The company has also received several hundred Addy awards for advertising, design and copywriting, as well as awards from the Louisiana Press Association for copywriting and design work. Pictured at left are Cheyenne Boudreaux of Southern Solid Waste and the 2013 Chair Elect for the Small Business Committee; Katie Harrington, marketing specialist with Healthy Image; and Jim Giffin of Southwest Louisiana Credit Union and the 2013 Chair of the Small Business Committee.

Do You Have What It Takes? Do you have what it takes to be part of Lagniappe’s Top 50? Are you a business mover and shaker? A primary force in the Lake Area business world? Is your business locally owned? Is it headquartered in the 5-parish Greater Calcasieu region? Is your business revenue sound? Has business been good? If the answers to these questions are Yes, you may well have what it takes. The Top 50 businesses are ranked entirely in terms of their revenues from the preceding year. Why not see whether you have what it takes? Submit your nomination today. Lagniappe and First Federal are seeking the prestigious businesses that will be featured in the 2013 Top 50 issue that appears on June 6. To find out more, visit bestofswla.com today.

Boating Education Lagniappe Day The third annual Boating Education Lagniappe Day is slated for May 11 from 9 am to 5 pm at the Civic Center. During Boating Education Lagniappe Day, the Louisiana Dept. of Wildlife and Fisheries will provide instructors for the National Assoc. of State Boating Law Administrators (NASBLA) boating education course and NASBLA boating education certification. Other features will include food, drinks, giveaways and door prizes. The event is free of charge to the public. Anybody born after Jan. 1, 1984 must complete a NASBLA-approved boating education course and carry proof of completion to operate a motorboat in excess of 10 horsepower. The course includes information on the choice of a boat, classification, hulls, motors, legal and equipment requirements. The course covers navigation rules, charts, trailering, sailboats, canoeing, personal watercraft and more. With completion of the course, the student will be issued a vessel operators certification card. To register, visit wlf.louisiana.gov/ lagniappeday and call the contact number listed for the area you choose. For more information, call Adam Einck at 225-765-2465. LDWF initiated the state’s boating education program in 2003 and has certified over 50,000 boaters since then. May 2, 2013

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WEIRD NEWS

chuck shepherd • illustrations by felix falgoust

Undocumented Living Undocumented immigrant Jose Munoz, 25, believed himself an ideal candidate for President Obama’s 2012 safe-harbor initiative for children who entered the country illegally. He had been brought to the U.S. by his undocumented parents before he was 16. He had no criminal record and had graduated from high school (with honors). Since then, he had remained at home in Sheboygan, Wis., helping his family, doing odd jobs and playing video games. He said that as he was living “in the shadows.” He found it almost impossible to prove that he had lived continuously in the U.S. since graduation. After he failed to convince immigration officials, his lawyer succeeded by submitting Munoz’s Xbox Live records, which documented that his computer had been accessing video games, day after day, for years, from Wisconsin.

Government In Action — Among the lingering costs of U.S. wars are disability payments and compensation to veterans’ families, which can go on decades after hostilities end. An Associated Press analysis of federal payment records found two current recipients of Civil War benefits. Vietnam war payments still amount to $22 billion

a year; World War II, $5 billion; World War I, $20 million, and the 1898 Spanish-American war, $1,700. — Each year, Oklahoma receives $150,000 in federal grants to operate small, isolated airfields. One in the southern part of the state is so seldom used it is primarily a restroom stop for passing pilots. The payments are from a 13-year-old congressional fund for 80 similar airfields that have no traffic, no planes kept on site. A February Washington Post investigation describes the airports as “ATMs shaped like airports.” Congress no longer even requires that the annual grants be spent on the airports drawing the grants. — During the massive February Southern California manhunt for former Los Angeles cop Christopher Dorner, LAPD officers riddled an SUV with bullets because they mistakenly believed Dorner was inside. Inside the vehicle were two women on their early-morning job as newspaper carriers. LAPD Chief Charlie Beck promised them a new truck and arranged with a local dealership for a 2013 Ford F-150 at a cost of $32,560. The deal fell through in March when the women discovered that Beck’s “free” truck wasn’t really free. Rather. It would be taxable as a “donation” that was

reported on IRS Form 1099 and could cost them thousands of dollars.

Great Art — Sculptor Richard Jackson introduced “Bad Dog” as part of his “Ain’t Painting a Pain?” installation at California’s Orange County Museum in February. Outside, Jackson’s Bad Dog’s hind leg is cocked and gallons of yellow paint are being pumped onto the building. “We’ll see how long it lasts,” he told the Los Angeles Times, “but you never know how people will react.” “Sometimes, people feel they should protect their children from such things, then the kids go home and watch South Park.” — Australian dilettante David Walsh’s 2-year-old Museum of Old and New Art in Hobart is acquiring a reputation for irreverence. Among the exhibits is Greg Taylor’s “My Beautiful Chair,” which invites a visitor to lie next to a lethal injection chair and experience a countdown for the amount of time it takes for execution drugs to kill. The visitor then sees a flashing sing that reads “You Are Dead.” Also, at 2 pm each day, a “fresh fecal masterpiece” is created by artist Wim Delvoye. A meal from the museum’s restaurant is placed into a

transparent grinder that creates slush, turns it brown and adds an overpowering odor. The resulting art work is channeled into transparent vats. — British “design engineer” Jess Eaton introduced her second high-fashion collection at London’s White Gallery. It consisted of elegant bridal wear made in part with roadkill, cat and alpaca fur, seagull wings and human bones.

Democracy In Action In India, political consultants create suggestive names for candidates on official ballots. Among those running for office this year: Frankenstein Momin, Hamletson Dohling, Boldness Nongum, Bombersing Hynniewta, Billykid Sangma, Mafiara Sangma, Rightious Sangma and Winnerson Sangma. More confusing were Hilarius Dkhar and Hilarius Pohchen and Adolf Lu Hitler Marak.

Perspective Some Third World citizens eat dirt because they’re mentally ill or have no food. But at Tokyo’s upscale Ne Quittez Pas diners eat dirt because it’s part of trendy dishes prepared by prominent chef Toshio Tanabe. Among his courses

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2917 Ryan St. • Lake Charles (337) 433-8504 • Fax (337) 433-3196


are soil soup served with a flake of dirty truffle, soil sorbet and the “soil surprise” (a dirt-covered potato ball). Tanabe lightly precooks his dirt and runs it through a sieve to eliminate crunchiness.

Police Report — In some jurisdictions, a driver can be presumed to be impaired when he has a blood alcohol reading as low as .07. According to a WMAQ-TV investigation in February, some suburban Chicago police forces allow officers to work when their personal readings are as high as .05. While officers may be barred from driving at that level, union regulations stipulate that they may not face any discipline. — Arlington County, Va., police reported in February that a resident of Carlin Springs Road told officers that someone entered her home and stole chicken from her simmering crock pot. The report noted that there were no suspects. — Prison guard Alfredo Malespini III, 31, faces several charges in Bradford, Pa., resulting from a marital dispute in which he tried to remove his wedding ring by shooting it off. The ring remained in place; his finger was mangled.

for each 10 minutes of fondling and kissing young women’s feet. She said the men wore business suits, which they kept on the whole time. The dressed-up women had to pass a strict foot examination by the “pimp,” who sought candidates with “high arches and small feet.” She guessed that more than two dozen men patronized the spa during her shift and that she earned $200, including tips.

Readers’ Choice — In March, Jose Martinez pocketed an $8,000 settlement with California’s Disneyland after he was stranded on a broken It’s a Small World ride for a half-hour in 2009. Because Martinez is disabled, he couldn’t easily be rescued. He was forced, he said, to listen to the “It’s a Small World” song on an endless loop until help arrived. — A woman and her son who were doing yard work at their home in Texarkana, Texas, in March dealt with a menacing snake by dousing it with gasoline and setting it afire. Of course the snake slithered away, moving under brush next to the house. Moments later, the home caught fire and burned down. Their neighbor’s house was heavily damaged.

Fetishes On Parade In March, a 19-year-old New York University student described to the New York Post her one-night experience as a foot-fetish prostitute at a spa in which men paid a $100 entrance fee plus $20

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TECH BYTES

vic wukovits

Protect Your Brain Like most people nowadays, I use a cellular phone daily. This magical device has infiltrated nearly all our lives, and the usage of cellphones is still on the rise. As the size of these devices gets smaller, the technology that keeps us connected becomes stronger. When you stop to think about it, how do those magical wireless signals get to where they’re going, enabling you to communicate with your friends and loved ones? The answer to that is simple: they emit radiofrequency energy, which is non-ionizing radiation.

This electromagnetic radiation is capable of heating substances through the absorption of energy by water, fat, and other elements, which can cause biological effects. This absorption can be measured as the Specific Absorption Rate (SAR) — an important rate for measuring the effects of radiation on human tissues.

Considering that your brain is made up of water, fat, and other elements, it seems that holding an electromagnetic emitting device next to it might lead to some absorption of radiation.

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If you ask most people what they know about radiation, chances are you’ll get a somewhat negative reaction. Over the past 60 or so years, radiation has become quite a hot topic (no pun intended). With the advent of nuclear technology, radiation became known as bad stuff, with severe exposure leading to extreme sickness and potential death. However, there are different types of radiation, and the kind that accompanies nuclear reactors, radiation therapy for cancer patients,

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and x-rays — ionizing radiation — can increase the risk of cancer. Non-ionizing radiation, such as that from cell phones, televisions, computers, and many other electronic devices, hasn’t shown a consistent link with cancer. But it should be said that testing in these areas is fairly limited. Increased exposure levels is a reason for concern. As a society, we certainly expose ourselves to extreme quantities of non-ionizing radiation, especially from cell phone usage. With cell phone usage showing no sign of decreasing, Lake Charles neurosurgeon Dr. Erich Wolf developed a solution: alleviate these levels of radiation with a type of protection for the cell phone. His creation, the Cellushield, is an inline protection shield that puts itself in between your phone and your brain. Considering that your brain is made up of water, fat, and other elements, it seems that holding an electromagnetic emitting device next to it might lead to some absorption of radiation. The Cellushield can be best described as a screen protector, but it protects your cellular phone screen and your brain. After initially hearing about this invention in the pages of Lagniappe, I reached out to Wolf to find out as much as I could about his invention. He was able to explain to me how the product works and

had me convinced within minutes. To find out more about how his creation can help protect you against cell phone radiation, visit the website (braincellular.com). It’s chock full of great information and the science behind this technology. You can even buy a Cellushield online through the website, although I should mention that my business, Bayou Technologies, is proud to feature the Cellushield at our location at 3026 Ryan St. The Cellushield is available for the iPhone 3, 4, and 5 series as well as the HTC Evo. For $29.99, it is quite the bargain, considering the level of protection it provides. As a screen protector, it goes on smoothly and is a pleasure to use. My iPhone 5 enjoys an additional level of security thanks to the high-quality protection the Cellushield offers. I enjoy the peace of mind that comes from knowing that my Cellushield blocks radiation up to 97 percent below the FCC limits. If you have an iPhone or HTC Evo and you use it daily, the Cellushield is a great investment. Not only does it keep your phone scratch-free, it also protects the most valuable asset you own: your brain.


LA POLITICS

john maginnis

Federal Probe Looming Large The Baton Rouge offices of CNSI, in a non-descript two-story building behind a beauty salon on Florida Boulevard, look like a neutron bomb went off there. Room after room of neat rows of desks sit ready and waiting for 100 or so employees, who likely won’t be coming back. The place bustled with activity until a month ago, when it emptied thanks to the cancellation of the firm’s huge state Medicaid claims processing contract, after it attracted the interest of a federal grand jury. The laid off employees, many of whom had uprooted their lives and moved to Louisiana to work on setting up the new online system, are the first victims of a federal investigation that could claim more, within both CNSI and state government. The only other casualty so far is Department of Health and Hospitals Secretary Bruce Greenstein, himself a former CNSI executive, who announced his resignation the week after a federal subpoena was made public. The subpoena ordered the Division of Administration to hand over all documents submitted by CNSI and three other companies that competed for the $185 million contract in 2011. Beyond that, the U.S. attorney’s office in Baton Rouge has not

indicated where its probe is headed. In the CNSI conference room, company president Adnan Ahmed and senior account executive Larry Iverson said in an interview that they, too, are waiting for someone to tell them what this is all about, as they have not been contacted by the U.S. attorney or the FBI. “There is a lot of misinformation floating around out there,” said Ahmed,

The laid off employees, many of whom had uprooted their lives and moved to Louisiana to work on setting up the new online system, are the first victims of a federal investigation that could claim more.

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who speculates that the Jindal administration over-reacted in abruptly canceling the contract, citing an anti-fraud provision in state law. CNSI denies wrong-doing, and will challenge the cancellation administratively and, if necessary, in court. A potential investigative focus is a proposed $40 million contract amendment to strengthen, of all things, anti-fraud pro-

tection. The planned expansion piqued interest because when CNSI won the contract, its competitors charged the company had “low-balled” its bid to get the business. CNSI asserts that DHH brought the contract expansion to it after current contractor Molina, whose work is winding down, passed on the addition. Commissioner of Administration Kristy Nichols rejected the expansion in mid-March after she got a heads-up from the state attorney general’s office, which told her to beware of CNSI contract amendments. That’s also when she learned about the federal subpoena, two weeks before nixing the whole deal. A recent Baton Rouge Advocate story revealed that DHH has put the chief of the agency’s program integrity section on paid administrative leave while it reviews her dealings with the CNSI contract and the proposed $40 million amendment. The official, Jina Hughes, is married to Robert Hughes, a CNSI data manager and analyst. DHH received a 2012 ethics opinion stating it was not a conflict for the husband of a department official to work for a company holding a DHH contract, with the qualification that the opinion is “based solely on the facts as set forth herein.” Also floating are strong rumors about a whistleblower in DHH, which could be what started the feds looking. This leads to

speculation that the FBI has taped conversations between involved parties, which is in line with how the agency investigates. This all could go away without another peep from the feds, but an informationgathering subpoena suggests that some significant information already has been gathered. One imagines that the proceedings are being watched with keen interest in the White House, which is already at odds with Gov. Bobby Jindal over his refusal to accept the expansion of Medicaid and his invectives against the Affordable Care Act. A scandal within the state Medicaid program would not reflect well on his national reputation as a health care expert. The question is: How high up the ladder of the state health agency does the probe go? If it is confined to possible midlevel wrongdoing, Jindal could get past that. But the closer it gets to the top, possibly to the former secretary, the more damaging would be the impact on an administration that claims to be first in ethics. With the governor pressing his argument that the income tax is the greatest impediment to the state’s economic progress, what a bummer it would be for him — for all of us — to have that old impediment to doing business in Louisiana — political corruption — rear its ugly head again.

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TAKING CHARGE

dale archer, MD

Ditch Him! Dear Dr. Archer, I’m a 21-year-old female. I dated a guy, and we ended up having sex. Although I truly liked him, I had sex with someone else. He found out and broke up with me. I will forever regret what I did, because he is now happily married. I started dating a guy, and he is always abusing me for not being a virgin. He calls me terrible names, bites me and threatens to tell everyone I’m a slut. All he wants to do is have sex, and I desperately want to get away from him. Please help! Anu Dear Anu, Emotional abuse involves controlling the victim via snide comments, critical looks, sexual demands, making fun and name calling. Physical abuse involves physical assault. Face it, you’re in an abusive, destructive and toxic relationship. He threatens to tell everyone you’re a slut? So what? Let him! You’re done with him, as of now. Get rid of this guy by getting tough. First, go to the police and get a restraining order. The moment he breaks it, call the police. The longer you let this go, the longer you will remain in a toxic relationship, and the harder it will be to get out. Surround yourself with family and friends, and get your life back in order. This man is using your fear to allow him to abuse you. You stay with him, like you have no say in the matter, when in fact you actually do have a say. Get out! It’s sad when you’ve gotten hurt so much in the past that you can finally say, “I’m used to it.” Quit playing the victim, and get tough. Learn from your past mistakes, and create a new and better life. Slap a restraining order on this guy and never allow yourself to be bullied by him or anyone else again. Good luck. Dear Dr. Archer, Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I’m 39 and living with my husband and 10 year-old-son. I have a sister who is five years younger than me. We lost our mom three years ago.

I love my sister, and she is very important to me. I’ve always struggled to keep her on track, and keep her away from bad influences. My sister has been married for seven years, and I always assumed the relationship with her husband was going to be a great one. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. I recently visited my sister, only to find she’s just a roommate in her own home. I grew anxious, sensing something was very, very wrong. I keep advising her to have children to save her marriage. She doesn’t like her husband. She was in love with him initially, and I convinced my parents to get her married in a rush because I sensed there was a man who was not right for her who was trying to break her up and have her for himself. She often blames me, saying she didn’t like her husband, and that I forced her to get married. She decided not to divorce him because Dad is against it. I guess I’m against it, too. He is as perfect a husband a girl could hope to have, and my sister knows this. When mom died, my sister clung to him, and didn’t share her grief with anyone else. They have now decided to divorce, which greatly upsets me, because I know she’s still in touch with that other guy from the past. I never wanted him in our family, which is why I wanted her to marry her husband. I confronted her, and told her if she divorces her husband and marries this guy, I will not have any relationship with her. I know he is not right for my sister. He’s a womanizer and wants her money. I don’t want her to ruin her life. I will help her and be there for her always, but she won’t listen to reason. I had to yell at her out of love and concern. Now, she is not answering my calls, and I’m sure she hates me. Please help me get my sister back. I love her so much. Saritha Dear Saritha, You cannot live your sister’s life. She’s 34, and a grown woman. You’ve

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confronted her and said she must do as you say or else. As I see it, you want to control her, and she’s finally put a stop to it. Good for her. Butt out of her life, already. If you do not stop this destructive behavior, you will lose her for good, and you will have no one but yourself to blame. Being part of a rushed marriage didn’t work for your sister. Enough said. Who to marry or when to have a child is a personal decision that should be made by a loving couple alone without influence from anyone else. Adding a child to a troubled marriage will only bring a divorce sooner rather than later. Face it — your advice is not working. If you want your sister back, since she’s ignoring your phone calls, write a letter of apology. Make it sincere, and tell her you love her. Also tell her that from now on you will do the right thing and support her decisions. You may voice your opinion, but she has the final say. Your sister is 34, she’s an adult, and she’s capable of making her own decisions. You cannot control her actions without pushing her further away, and this is approaching a dangerous zone, where she may choose to cut all ties. Lisa See said “Sisters, as you know, also have a unique relationship. This is the person who has known you your entire life, who should love you and stand by you no matter what, and yet it’s your sister who knows exactly where to drive the knife to hurt you the most.” You have to live your life, and your sister has to be allowed to live hers. Be loving and supportive, and stop driving a knife into the relationship. If you can do this, the bond will have a chance to not only heal, but to become stronger than ever. Good luck. Dear Dr. Archer, I’ve been married for over 20 years. For most of that time, I thought my husband and I had a great marriage. I knew my husband has lied in the past, but it was never a big issue. There was an issue in our third year of marriage where I thought he was having an affair. He adamantly denied it, and I believed him. Out in public, we have been stopped by women, and he would either pretend like he didn’t know them or tell me they worked with him. Recently, I had the feeling something was going on. I asked him repeatedly about other women, and he finally admitted to having an affair during the marriage. He said that it was just one time, and that it’s over.

I searched for and found the woman, contacted her, and found out everything. Now I’m wondering what has gone on during our years of marriage. I asked him how many women he has actually slept with, and he told me nine. I asked him about names, but he said he couldn’t remember names. In fact, “I don’t remember” and “I’m not dealing with this” is his response to everything I ask. He refuses to help me straighten out all these lies, and there are other incidents, as well. Now he’s trying to make me feel like there’s something wrong with me because I don’t trust him. He’s using guilt trips, saying I should be a Christian, and the Bible says we need to forgive. I’m presently seeing a doctor because my nerves are shot. I’ve lost weight, I’m miserable, and he will not accept that I plan on getting a divorce. He keeps saying we will be fine, and that we have to work through this. I think he has psychological problems. Now to my point: I’m afraid to leave, because he has threatened to kill me and kill himself if I leave. I live in hell. Help! Ivy Dear Ivy, Enough already! You’ve been in a destructive marriage for over 20 years, and it has torn you apart. Love should be calm, peaceful and comforting — everything you’re not feeling in this marriage. You want a divorce. Good! It’s time to call it quits. Don’t let him use guilt or fear as a weapon. As Melissa Edwards said, “Once a cheater, always a repeater.” He’s threatened to kill you if you leave, and that is the classic move of an abuser. Needless to say, it’s working, because you’re terrified, you are not leaving, and it’s ruining your physical and mental health. You’re slowly killing yourself by remaining in this toxic environment. My advice is to find the best divorce attorney you can. Tell him your story, and follow his advice. If your lawyer doesn’t suggest a restraining order, then bring the subject up and get one. And if your husband breaks it, even once, immediately call the police. If you need a place to stay, then contact the local women’s shelter. It’s time you start enjoying your life. Learn from this experience, and make every day count. I promise, as time passes things will get easier, and you’ll wonder what took you so long to take charge of your life. I wish you much success.

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FILE 13

brad goins

World History In 10 Books The first half of our history excursion explored the havoc that’s always been created by corrupt political leaders and inept business leaders and military strategists. The stories are fascinating, but tend to be a bit grim and may strike some as discouraging. In this half, we focus on the creative accomplishments of humankind, and thus, it is hoped, present material that’s somewhat more encouraging. So, without any further unnecessary introduction, let’s get to it.

Edison sent groups of thugs around New York City, attacking any filmmakers who didn’t sign over their film work and rights to him.

6. Hollywood East: Louis B. Mayer and the origins of the studio system by Diana Altman (reprinted by Tapley Cove Press, 2010)

One of the greatest and most exciting of creative deeds is to do something for the first time. This book explains how creative risk-takers created not just the Hollywood film, but also films in general, and did so without any models of a similar artistic product to draw from. We learn here that the Hollywood film actually began in New York City, where the first filmmakers tried to make a new art and earn a living at the same time. One problem they faced was that Thomas Edison desperately wanted a monopoly on film and filmmaking. From the beginning,

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Thus it was that many filmmakers escaped to Hollywood so that they could escape a beating. Once filmmakers discovered Hollywood, they were drawn to its nearly ideal filming conditions: lots of sun and only occasional rain.

Hollywood East goes on at length about the challenges faced by any creator of a type of art work that’s entirely new. New art that gets public attention is always a target for self-appointed moral arbiters and sanctimonious politicians. When film began to be shown in public, the mayor of Chicago established a board to censor it. The mayor of New York City declared that all film was “evil,” and, for a time, banned all films from nickelodeons. And this was at a time when films were five or six minutes long and depicted something such as a man getting a shave or walking in and out of a door. As each new artistic innovation comes into existence, experts and authority figures denounce it. In the case of film, multi-reel, or feature-length films, were condemned on the grounds that people didn’t have the intellectual capability to follow a “long” story. Sound in film was denounced on the grounds that it was a gimmick the public didn’t want. There’s a certain sort of creative figure who always wants to develop the next new thing. In the story of Hollywood, the next new thing often coincided with widespread criticism and immense financial success. The most consistently successful early filmmakers were those who were tenacious and followed failures with the swift creation of new plans.

(Part II)

7. Selected Letters by Madame de Sevigne (Penguin Classics, 1982). (Originally written in the 17th century.)

What is the greatest instance of the creation of an entirely new thing of unprecedented scope, import and beauty? Could it be the creation of a society where everyone was polite all the time?


This creative coup was pulled off by one person and one person only — Louis XIV. In the court of Louis the XIV, there was no rudeness because the penalty for being rude was just too harsh. The rules of politeness were enforced by absolute conformity and the unanimous peer pressure that came with it. Was the politeness suspect because it was the result of coercion? If people can only be made polite by fear, is it worth the cost to frighten them into it? These questions will always be asked about the Sun King’s court. Madame de Sevigne didn’t dwell on them much. She was convinced of the absolute good of politeness. One of her letters describes the terrible cost of being impolite in Louis’ court. A young woman who was in court for the first time was well aware of her beauty and expected to be accorded great attention because of it. As she spoke with Sevigne for the first time, she looked away during Sevigne’s reply to see which men were ogling her. Suddenly the attractive young newcomer noticed the court had gone quiet. All talking had ceased. And then she noticed something vastly more unsettling: everyone was looking at her. The young beauty had looked away while someone was speaking to her. She had been rude. In her letter about the incident, Sevigne guesses the woman won’t make the mistake a second time. Sevigne’s letters shed light on Louis XIV’s decision-making process, and in particular, on his ways of dealing with those who disagreed with him. Louis rarely did anything he didn’t want to. Learn here how his near-dictatorial

approach worked (and see whether you think it was all bad). If this book of letters leaves you curious about Louis’ unique court, you can read more about how people live a polite life in the Maxims of La Rochefoucauld, another leader of Louis XIV’s court. The maxims are also available in an economical Penguin Classics edition.

8. Born Under Saturn: The Character And Conduct Of Artists: Documented History From Antiquity To The French Revolution by Rudolf and Margot Wittkower (Norton, 1969) Although this book covers art up

through the Romantic period, it devotes more space to artists in the years around the Renaissance than to those in more modern times. The book shows that the Renaissance was the time when some artists gained enough power that they were no longer considered mere craftsmen, and instead became powerful figures who could set their own price. Some of them also began to think of themselves as important personalities. Renaissance artists often conformed with contemporary trends in temperament, such as the popular model of melancholy. That gets us to the real story of this book, which is the vast array of eccentricities of the artists, some of whom are still quite well known. This book will give you a portrait of the artist that’s much more extreme than anything you’ll read in Hollywood East or Mme. de Sevigne’s letters. We’re told in detail of Michelangelo’s fears that his deviations from the norm would consign him to damnation. Other extremely talented artists found themselves paralyzed when it came to everyday life because of personal obsessions with miserliness, dirtiness, greed, hypochondria, bizarre sensual indulgences and a host of other vices, fixations and quirks. Naturally, for some of the most tortured figures, the creation of art was the only relief they experienced. 9. The Twelve Caesars by Seutonius (translated by Robert Graves) (Penguin Classics, revised 2007) (Originally written about 100 AD.)

role of creativity in crime. And we can turn to the classics to do it. Although Seutonius’ history covered 12 Caesars — or emperors — of ancient Rome, if you’re the sort of person who likes to skip to the naughty bits, you’ll go straight to the stories of Tiberius and Caligula. In these two figures, we see the contrast between the clever and sometimes creative criminal (Caligula) and the oafish criminal who uses brute force indiscriminately (Tiberius). Caligula often committed crimes or even atrocities because he was working out a complex or ironic scenario. Many of his crimes were more about the idea of being outlandish, com-

We should at least give a nod to the

continued

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FILE 13 World History In 10 Books

plex or tricky than they were about deriving any sort of physical pleasure or gain for the act. Caligula liked to put one over on people, and had a real talent for doing it. On the other hand, Tiberius, who was just as shocking a criminal, made mischief solely to satisfy his very most worldly desires. There’s never any finesse to Tiberius’ selfish, boorish crimes. Fortunately for the reader, there is often a great deal of extremity to them. The stories are all the more interesting because Seutonius wasn’t averse to mixing gossip with his carefully documented history. Political leaders are often criminals. Seutonius emphasizes the contrast between Caligula’s smart politics and Tiberius’ difficulties in grasping political realities. Caligula understood that everyday people wanted to indulge their desires just as much as he enjoyed indulging his. He was beloved by the Romans for his practice of giving the people holidays, parties and other celebrations. He learned too late that parades and parties offer no protection from assassins. To see how Roman criminality in high places flourished during later stages in the Roman empire, read Procopius’ The Secret Histories. And if you simply want to take a dirt bath, try Colin Wilson’s encyclopedic A Criminal History of Mankind or Robert Jay Nash’s exhaustive Bloodletters and Bad Men, a three-volume work that deals solely with American criminals.

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The eccentricities of artists change less than the art forms they create. And the eccentricities are what make the interesting stories (and, often, what make the history interesting). Even if you don’t care for the modern artistic experiments of Eric Satie or Alfred Jarry, you’ll find it hard to stop reading the catalogue of curious incidents in the vital lives they led.

10. The Banquet Years: The Origins Of The Avant-Garde In France — 1885 To World War I by Roger Shattuck (Vintage, 1968)

Is there a kind of creativity that should be called “modern” because it’s fundamentally different from what came before? If you think the answer is yes, The Banquet Years should be in your “books read” column. The Banquet Years covers creative figures who came before what critic Arthur Danto has called “the age of manifestos.” The painters, composers and writers of The Banquet Years flourished before the time of the isms — Dadaism, surrealism, expressionism and so forth. But they had the sensibility, daring, exploratory inclinations and don’t-give-adamn attitudes that would make the isms possible. Take the case of Erik Satie. He began what would one day be called “minimalism.” In fact, some consider his piece Gymnopedie No. 1 (published in 1988) the greatest minimalist work ever composed. Yet he dressed each day in an entirely respectable and conservative way. His grooming was immaculate, as was his posture. He was so well-respected, he managed to run a campaign to be mayor of his hometown. Satie called his approach to life “ironic conformity.” He felt that as long as he was doing his experimental composition in private, it made no difference what he did in public. It was of no consequence to the true creative figure whether he did or didn’t conform to social conven-

For those who missed or have misplaced the first part (from the April 18 issue), here’s a list of the books covered: 1. Japan at War: An Oral History by Haruku Taya and Theodore F. Cook (The New Press, 1993)

2. The Teapot Dome Scandal: How Big Oil Bought the Harding White House and Tried To Steal The Country by Laton McCartney (Random House, 2008)

tion. Life had nothing to do with social status. The sole value of life was in artistic creation. Satie clearly influenced the great Dadaist Marcel Duchamp, who always looked as if he were dressed for dinner and who eventually gave up art for chess. Satie did, in fact, work with the Dadaists in his old age. Most readers of The Banquet Years are less interested in Satie’s tale than in the flamboyant, reckless and relentlessly odd life of Alfred Jarry, who was clearly an early model for the more familiar wild side of Dadaism.

3. Conspiracy of Fools: A True Story by Kurt Eichenwald (Broadway, 2005) The story of the collapse of Enron’s business empire.

4. The History of the Franks by Gregory of Tours (Penguin Classics, 1976; originally written in the 6th century AD) The story of a society and way of life fundamentally different from our own.

5. Nothing To Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick (Speigel & Grau, 2010)


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here was a time — long ago — when it was feared that the large marble altar in the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in downtown Lake Charles would never be complete. At the time, in the 1920s, those best qualified to work on the altar thought it was just too big and too complex to be assembled in the place of worship. The altar had taken the long way around to Lake Charles. First it was built in Carrara, Italy, with the pure marble of that city — the sort of pure marble said to be used for the statues of Michelangelo.

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The altar then traveled to Salt Lake City, Utah. That city’s Cathedral of the Madelaine had bought the altar from the marble masons of Carrara for $9,000. It was installed in the Salt Lake cathedral in 1909. What is now the Lake Charles Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, and was then the Church of the Immaculate Conception, bought the altar from the Diocese of Salt Lake City in 1922. Before this purchase, the huge altar had been sitting unused in Salt Lake for years. The altar enjoyed an extremely short period of usage in Utah because the bishop who had it installed was very soon succeeded by another bishop


whose vision of the appearance of the cathedral didn’t accommodate the altar. This successor, Bishop Joseph S. Glass, wanted an altar that was much less ornate than the one from Carrara. He placed the elaborate marble altar in storage in 1917. Parishioners who worshipped at the Lake Charles Cathedral at the time, Mr. and Mrs. Paul Zimmerman, happened to be friends of Bishop Glass. (In fact, Mrs. Zimmerman was the bishop’s cousin.) The couple learned of the enormous marble altar that was collecting dust in Utah. They agreed to pay for the cost of transporting it to Lake Charles if it could be obtained. Immaculate Conception was a church in search of an altar. The Great Fire of 1910 had destroyed the earlier church, which had been built in 1881. (The Lake Charles church had begun as a chapel dedicated to St. Francis de Sales in 1858. Damage from an 1879 hurricane resulted in the construction of a new church, the Church of the Immaculate conception, in 1881.) The new Church of the Immaculate Conception was constructed in 1913. Four years later, when Immaculate Conception put out feelers about purchasing the marble altar from the Salt Lake Cathedral, it may not have been known that there was a bargain to be had. Lake Charles managed to obtain the altar for almost half of its original price. The Lake Charles representatives paid a total of only $5,000; of that, only $2,500 was made as a down payment; the remainder went to Salt Lake City in yearly installments.

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ack in 1917, when Immaculate Conception put out feelers about purchasing the marble altar from the Salt Lake Cathedral, it may not have been known that there was a bargain to be had. Lake Charles managed to obtain the altar for almost half of its original price. The Lake Charles representatives paid a total of only $5,000.

‘ONE GIGANTIC JIGSAW PUZZLE’ Immaculate Conception had the good fortune to have a parishioner whose father had worked in marble in Carrara — Floyd Solari. When he was first approached about the job of installing the altar, Solari balked. He felt the job was just too complex and large in scope for his resources. But with some strong encouragement from the priest, Monsignor continued May 2, 2013

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Hubert Cramers, Solari and his brother Sherman eventually undertook the work. It was a task that would take a year to complete. When the marble pieces of the altar were transported to Lake Charles by train, they filled two box cars. Initially the Solari brothers were overwhelmed by the sight of the pieces spread out on the floor of Immaculate Conception. “Some of the pieces weighed a ton,” said Floyd. (Although there is probably no one alive today who remembers, it was once said that children at the time were let out of school to see railroad tracks laid to the site of Immaculate Conception and the mighty marble parts transported by train to the site and laid out on the building floor. One does wonder how parts weighing a ton or more would have been transported from the railroad station to the building site in 1913.) The Solaris were marble workers. They weren’t used to moving around pieces of this weight by themselves. Msgr. Cramers hired local contractor Signey J. Ory to do the heavy lifting. The Solaris spent the entire year of 1923 working on the altar project. The records of Immaculate Conception show that the Solaris were paid $646 for their labor. From the start, there were major challenges in addition to the extreme weight of the pieces. For one thing, the parts had come with no labels to explain what went where. Someone

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would have to figure out how to put the altar together. “There was no blueprint, no pattern, no photographs. It was just one gigantic jigsaw puzzle,” said Floyd. Just the assembling of the pieces took two months.

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hen the marble pieces of the altar were transported to Lake Charles by train, they filled two box cars. Initially the Solari brothers were overwhelmed by the sight of the pieces spread out on the floor of Immaculate Conception. Some of the pieces weighed a ton.

To give an instance of the assembly problems that had to be dealt with, it was clear that two panels were to go on the sides of the altar. One panel portrayed lilies and the other the Sacred Heart. The question, of course, was which panel was supposed to go on which side of the altar? Had these design elements been specifically placed in order to communicate some specific aesthetic and spiritual message? Or was it really not a crucial matter which panel was played on which side? The work included not just assembly, but remodeling as well. Some of the pieces of the altar had been damaged in transit and had to be reworked.


GOTHIC, GREEK AND ROMAN STYLES Whatever decisions the Solari brothers reached over the course of a year, the parishioners seemed to have been pleased with them. Today the altar is a great draw — to parishioners, other locals and tourists. Altar expert, and Cathedral of Immaculate Conception parishioner, Ann Romero, says “our marble altars are the true aesthetic centerpieces of the church.” The altar is considered to be in somewhat of a Gothic style. Perhaps this is due to the fact that the structure is extremely detailed and ornate. Also, the vertical nature of the center of the altar — with its miniature tower topped by a cross — may be considered a strongly Gothic element. (And it certainly makes for an interesting comparison with the 5story bell tower of the Cathedral.) Finally, the prominence of sculptures and scenes depicted in bas-relief in the altar are Gothic features.

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hatever decisions the Solari brothers reached over the course of a year, the parishioners seemed to have been pleased with them. Today the altar is a great draw — to parishioners, other locals and tourists. Altar expert, and Cathedral of Immaculate Conception parishioner, Ann Romero, says “our marble altars are the true aesthetic centerpieces of the church.”

However, it should be emphasized that parts of the altar don’t quite correspond to the popular notion of Gothic. For instance, the prominent arches in the altar aren’t in the pointed arch form of the Gothic. They’re in the circular form of the arches one finds all over the Cathedral. (More on this below.) Furthermore, the large dome-like structure that’s near the top of the center of the altar indicates a Mediterranean or Eastern influence. Similar design elements are prominent in the floor of Immaculate Conception, whose diamonds and circles were meant to suggest Greek (Byzantine) art. The way in which the dome-like structure in the altar echoes those of Greek Orthodox churches may have pleased church leaders, as the overall layout of Immaculate Conception is meant to resemble a Greek cross in a general way. The dome-like structure in the altar, and the round arches built atop continued May 2, 2013

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The circular rows of bricks over the arch above the Rectory entrance are called “brick semi-circular compound arches.” They are remarkably similar in shape to the arches above the niches in the altar.

the niches that house the altar’s statues, clearly resonate with the many circular arches over windows and doors in Immaculate Conception, as well as the Cathedral’s dome-like vaulted ceiling and the arches in the building’s five-story bell tower. In Religious Architecture in Louisiana (LSU Press, 1995), Robert W. Heck writes that the Cathedrals’ “Semicircular-arch windows and doors … typify the Italian

Romanesque.” (The layers of circular rows of bricks that rise up impressively over the arches above the exterior doors of Immaculate Conception are called “brick semi-circular compound arches” by the National Historical Society.) Heck says the entire building is designed in “the North Italian Romanesque vein.” As is characteristic of Italian Romanesque architecture, the main design elements of the interior of the building are echoed by structures on the exterior. Romanesque architecture always reflects the part of Europe where it developed. In the case of the Cathedral, the Romanesque style that was desired was that of Northern Italy, and especially of the Lombard area. Morris J. LeBleu, director of communications of the Lake Charles Diocese, has written that the Cathedral is “considered one of the finest examples of Lombardy Romanesque architecture in the United States.”

S

o great is the amount of detail in this altar that it’s hard to imagine taking it in in one viewing. Repeated viewings of the altar are sure to be rewarding. They can easily be arranged by inquiring at the office across the street from the Cathedral. This year marks the 100th anniversary of the red brick Cathedral that was built in the aftermath of the Great Fire.

The Lombard influence is what accounts for the cathedral’s red tile roof (which many consider its most distinctive feature). Also indicative of the Northern Italian style is the roof of the bell tower with its overhanging eaves. (Note that the top of the tower is the only exterior part of the building that uses multiple colors in its architecture; at the top of the tower, the bricks are red, black and white.) People instinctively feel that Immaculate Cathedral has a unique look to it. And it is a unique structure. Immaculate Conception is the only example of Romanesque Revival architecture in Southwest Louisiana.

THE ROLE OF MARBLE The architectural plan for the Immaculate Conception church completed in 1913 was conceived by the firm of Favrot and Livaudais in New Orleans — the same firm that 28

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designed such area buildings as the Calcasieu Parish Courthouse, the Lake Charles City Hall and the Calcasieu Marine Bank at about the same time. While the design of the altar may have been thought to reflect some design elements of the Cathedral, the altar’s distinctive material — the pure Carrara marble — may have had some direct influence on the Cathedral. Roughly 30 years after the altar was installed, the Cathedral’s wooden pulpit was replaced by a marble one. And the columns in the nave were covered with marble.

Greek design elements in the floor of the Cathedral

THE BASIC DESIGN The major design elements of the altar are quickly and easily grasped. A large statue of each of the four Evangelists is included in the altar. There is a niche for each Evangelist; they appear from left to right in the same order in which their Gospels appear in the Bible. This use of a row of sculpted figures in niches is a common feature of Gothic altars. The central portion of the altar features a statue of the Blessed Virgin. (This statue was completed and added after the altar was installed.) It bears the title “Immaculate Conception.” Each of the niches is topped by a circular arch which is a near match for those over the Cathedral doors. If you look at the altar carefully, you’ll see that the arch over the niche for the statue of Mary incorporates five smaller circular arches. Careful observation will reveal that this exact same arrangement of arches within arches is repeated right behind the statue. Again, these circular designs make a stunning match with the many circular Romanesque elements that figure so prominently in the Cathedral. At the bottom of the central section of the altar is a bas-relief of the Last Supper. So great is the amount of detail in this altar that it’s hard to imagine taking it in in one viewing. Repeated viewings of the altar are sure to be rewarding. They can easily be arranged by inquiring at the office across the street from the Cathedral. Just look for the entrance with the sign that says “Office.” Let’s round out the story of this altar that was once thought to be too big to build by mentioning a few pertinent historical factors about Immaculate Conception. The Church of the Immaculate Conception became the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in 1980. This change reflected the creation of the Diocese of Lake Charles. In 1994, the Cathedral was added to the U.S. National Register of Historic Places. And finally, of course, this year marks the 100th anniversary of the red brick Cathedral that was built in the aftermath of the Great Fire.

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F

or newlywed Candace Stracner-Anderson, the evening of her wedding, this past Nov. 10, was bittersweet, to say the least — far from the day of unadulterated joy most young brides experience. For while she was celebrating love and the start of a new life with her husband, she was doing so while still reeling from the death of her mother, Cindy Stracner, who had passed away just the previous August. “My mom was always my biggest cheerleader, my support system, my partner in crime and my best friend,” says Stracner-Anderson. “And from the moment my husband, Jon, proposed, she dove full-force into helping me plan my wedding.” The two went to bridal events in the Superdome, interviewed vendors, caterers and photographers, and looked for and chose the perfect wedding cake. And, of course, they shopped all over New Orleans searching for the perfect wedding dress. “I will never forget the look on

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Mom’s face when I walked out of the dressing room wearing ‘the’ dress,” Stracner-Anderson says. “I didn’t know it was the only time she would ever see me in it, and to this day I am so thankful that God allowed that moment to happen.” Unlike most mother/daughter duos planning a wedding, says StracnerAnderson, she and her mother never argued about the details. “We agreed on everything. We pretty much had the same taste in everything. Her opinion was so important to me ... it’s one of the things I miss most,” says Stracner-Anderson.

A Shock In early August, just three months before the wedding, as the final details were being ironed out, Stracner began

experiencing “random pains” throughout her body. “First, they told her it was a pulled muscle in her back,” says StracnerAnderson. “When that pain didn’t subside, they did x-rays.” Stracner’s primary care physician suspected tuberculosis, and began treatment. The pain worsened. “Mom had to miss my last trip to New Orleans for my final wedding dress fitting,” says Stracner-Anderson. “I was on my way home from that trip on Sunday, June 29, when my mom called and told me she was going to the hospital because she was experiencing shortness of breath. By the time I got home, they had admitted her and set her up to see the pulmonologist the next day.” Numerous tests were run, and the news was not good. Stracner had stage 4 lung cancer of an extremely aggressive

form. “We were shocked,” says StracnerAnderson. “Mom had always been healthy, and had never smoked.” Chemotherapy was started on a Thursday, and the physicians told the family that Stracner could possibly return home on Sunday. “That night, her oxygen saturation levels dropped, and Mom was moved to the ICU,” Stracner-Anderson says. “She was on a ventilator for the next six days. The cancer continued to spread, and on Thursday, Aug. 9, we turned the machines off, and my family had to say goodbye.”

Keep Trucking Along The next three months, says Stracner-Anderson, were a nightmare. And most would have understood if she had simply opted for elopement and a private ceremony. But, she says, that was never a consideration. continued


BEST FRIEND continued

“I had planned the wedding with my mom, and every single detail had her imprint on it,” she says. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, to keep on trucking along without her support, but I never considered canceling the wedding. I knew in my heart that Mom would have wanted me to move on and carry out the beautiful day we had planned together.

Love, Support, And An Angel Watching Over “My wedding weekend was, in fact, full of love and support from all of the people I loved the most, including an angel from above,” says StracnerAnderson, who says that the support of

her father, sister, brother, new husband and friends saw her through it. “Mom may not have been there to hug me and tell me how proud she was of me, but I felt her arms wrapped around me all night,” Stracner-Anderson says. “She filled my heart with a sense of strength and love that I had never felt before. Of course, Stracner-Anderson says, she made sure that her mother was represented in a tangible way, as well. “Our priest said wonderful words about Mom during the ceremony, and white roses were on the altar in her honor,” she says. “And at the reception, we had pictures of Mom all over our welcome table. And she was there in all of the tiny details she helped me pick out for my special day. My mom was such an important part of the preparation process. When I say that her touch was on everything that we had on the night of our wedding, I’m being honest. Her vision was everywhere that night. It was perfect, beautiful, and exactly what my mom had dreamed of for me.”

Continuing The Struggle Getting through the wedding, of course, was just the beginning, and Stracner-Anderson says she still struggles with the loss, and always will. She says that her husband has played a big part in helping her cope, as has her need to be strong for her father and her sib-

your children, because I now understand how much Mom loved me. I’ve had to be strong for Hudson, and I want to be the best mother possible for him, and that keeps me strong.”

Appreciate Every Moment

lings. “I’ve become so protective of my dad, brother and sister that my will to be strong for them has helped me cope,” she says. But perhaps the greatest help in dealing with her mother’s loss has come from her own child, 2-year-old Hudson. “I feel so lucky to have my own child, and to feel the love you have for

Stracner-Anderson says the events of the last several months have shown her that nothing and no one should be taken for granted. “If I could give any advice to daughters and sons out there, it would be to appreciate each and every single moment with your mother. Hug her, tell her how important she is, and show her how thankful you are for her. You never know when the opportunity will be ripped away.”

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Appreciate Being A Parent As we go about our very busy schedules, we often overlook the tiny moments — the small, unnoticed delights of being a parent. Here are some ways to appreciate the joys of being a mom or a dad. Stay in the right mindset. We spend too much time regretting the past and worrying about the future. We over-think what might have been and try to control what could be. This over-thinking saps the joy of having children around. You can’t smell the sweetness of a baby right after her bath if you’re worrying about getting the kitchen cleaned up. You can’t delight in the sweet song of a first grade choir if you’re focused on the work on your desk. Be present. “Could have” and “should have” and “if only” are thoughts that take away from the happiness that comes with being a parent. Children are lively. They live in the moment. We can learn something from watching how easily they skip, run and play. There’s never a dull hour when a child is around. Be present. Watch your child wiggle; notice innocence. Clear your schedule, your mind and your “to-do list,” and really be present. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Children grow quickly, and they leave home soon enough. The wet towels on the bathroom floor may be annoying; the toys on the floor may get in the way; but there will be plenty of time for cleaning the house when the kids are grown up and have moved away. If you must clean the house, ask them to pitch in, and be sure to make the cleaning fun. Accept innocent love. Your child loves you unconditionally. Even when you

let them down, which you probably will, they’ll forgive you quickly. They see your mistakes and they let them go. Children are very trusting. They depend on you. They want your approval and acceptance more than you know. Say “I love you” daily. Never, ever leave your child angry or upset. Make the generous gesture and put aside the lecture. Comfort willingly when they’re troubled. Admit when you’re wrong. Notice the look on their face that says they’re having a bad day. Put down your newspaper, shut down the computer and ask what you can do. Acknowledge the sacrifice. There are many sacrifices that come with being a parent. Most parents put the child’s needs above their own, and this is as it should be. Once you have a child, you’re changed; you are no longer the same person. Now everything you do is done with your child in mind. This is difficult. The rewards are bigger. Acknowledge to yourself and your partner the sacrifices made. Feel good about doing a good job of parenting. Believe. A child who has the backing of a parent will have what it takes to meet life’s challenges. Think of the power you have. You’ve created a person who hopefully will take the best of you, improve on it and become better. The legacy you leave will be reflected in the life of your child. Believe in your child completely. Tell your child often, “I believe in you.” Ask yourself: “What’s better than being a parent?” Parenting is not always fun, but children are a joy. When you are old and gray, consider what will matter most.

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For Marie By E.J. Gaspard She was the oldest in a family of three girls and three boys. And though she never learned to read or write, she was intelligent and educated in what it took to survive on the ridge, the marsh and the bayou of Little Chenier. Her first tongue was French, and almost as soon as she learned to speak it, she went to work in the kitchen and the fields, picking cotton by day until her little fingers bled from the pointed husks. She plucked the seeds out by the light of kerosene lamps in the evening. At night, she slept on the cotton sacks stuffed with the fruits of her day’s labor. The burlap was scratchy but plump with soft cotton. In the heat, the sacks were preferable to her feather mattress, whose engulfing embrace was comfortable in winter, but unbearable in the heart of summer. She milked the cows twice a day because her father preferred fresh milk, even to the milk hung in the well from the morning’s milking. There was no refrigeration, so that well cooled many a bottle of milk, and should one ever break, it took nearly a half day of pumping to clear the cloudy water. At least once a week, she gathered wood to build a fire under the large cast iron cauldron near the river to boil the family’s white clothes, and, of course, the

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diapers of her new siblings: siblings who would soon join her in the fields and in filling the smudge pots and building the smoking fires at night to give their few cattle relief from mosquitoes and biting flies. She took the dyed clothing to the edge of the bayou, where she scrubbed it with lye soap, homemade from fat and a tea made from pouring water through oak ashes. She rinsed the clothing and beat it with a thick, flat piece of wood with a handle on it. She then hung everything on a line lowered especially for her. Then she went inside to help with dinner, chopping onions and other vegetables with knives too big for her hands. When she wasn’t changing one of the little ones, she was standing at her mother’s elbow, eyes open and learning. It is in this way she learned to make a roux; to cut corn for maque choux; to make tender biscuits and cook down okra and tomatoes. She learned and learned well — how to turn a whole catfish into delicious garlicky white gravy; how to make gumbo with whatever was available — duck, poule deaux and even blackbirds.

The men would be in from the marsh at noon as measured by the pause of the rising sun. After a quick wash in an outside basin using collected rainwater from the cistern, they came in to eat. The men ate first: her father, his brother and her cousin. When they were done, her mother and her aunt ate. Then, finally, Marie was allowed to eat in the company of the other children. She wished for the day she would be allowed to eat second, with the women. She learned more as she grew older and was allowed to accompany her father to Lake Arthur to barter goods. She learned how to get an honest measure of sugar or flour by watching for the merchant’s thumb on the scale. She learned how many nutria and muskrat pelts it took to buy a bolt of cloth. And she learned that the ugly old-fashioned button-hook shoes were better than the pretty ones she wanted because they would last twice as long. She learned that even penny candy is sometimes too expensive, and she learned to sacrifice her happiness and education for the good of the family. She learned other things too. She

learned of loyalty and how a good dog will crack pecans with his teeth all morning for you to eat them. She learned of sadness and loss when her oldest brother was killed accidentally by a shotgun blast in the corn field. She learned of love from her father, who ruled the house in every way, yet each day of her life, brought a pan of warm water to his wife in the evening and washed her feet. Through these lessons, lessons she would never have learned in the school her brothers and sisters attended, she grew to be a woman, a wife, the best mother she could be and, most of all, a friend. Though her siblings went out into the world, able to read and write and pursue careers, they all held a special place in their hearts for the one left behind. First born and the last to die, yet not to die. She lives in the hearts of everyone who knew her. And each time I forgive a wrong; every time I make a friend of a stranger or offer a kindness to someone who cannot repay me; she lives in my heart too. Marie Gaspard July, 1921-July, 2005 I love you, mom.


Ways To Celebrate Mother's Day You love your wife, the mother of your children, the light o’ your life. You appreciate everything she does, from organizing the family’s tight schedule to effortlessly diffusing temper tantrums to running board meetings. But you’re not sure how to honor her on Mother’s Day. Don’t fret. The ideas below will help you plan a meaningful Mother’s Day that shows her how much she’s appreciated.

Involve The Kids This holiday should really be about the kids finding ways to celebrate Mom, but sometimes they need a little guidance. If the kids are very young, have them make a card or choose a small gift. Even if it’s a box of cereal or a stick-figure drawing, they’ll feel proud knowing they’re part of the holiday. If your kids are older, start planning Mother’s Day with them at least a few weeks in advance. Let them lead the discussion and generate the ideas, then support them and gear them toward the gifts or activities you can actually accomplish. Not everyone can give their Francophile moms a trip to Paris, but how about a homemade dinner of French food with French music playing in the background?

Keep The Cost Down Here are some ways to celebrate Mother’s Day without breaking the bank: • make the gifts by hand • serve breakfast in bed • complete the tasks on her honeydo list • pamper her with a day at the “home spa,” using store-bought lotions and scrubs, or making them yourself following online instructions. • give an “experience” gift, such as a day of gardening together as a family, an afternoon in the park, or an agreement to listen to her favorite music, even if that means subjecting everyone to 1980s hair

bands for the day.

Give The Gift Of Nothing When asked what they want for Mother’s Day, many women simply say they’d like the day off. That might mean no laundry, no making lunches for school the next day, and no nagging kids to brush their teeth or clean their rooms. To accomplish this, you might have breakfast together as a family and then take the kids somewhere for the day. Mothers of young children, especially, rarely get a few quiet hours at home alone. Or, send Mom somewhere else, such as to a day spa, a bookstore, a shopping mall or a coffee shop, depending on her interests.

Give To Her Favorite Charity If she has a favorite charity or cause, spend the day contributing to it, either through monetary donations, or by giving of your family’s time.

Write A Letter Include funny memories, messages of appreciation, and recollections of her first days as a mom. These days, many moms have all their family photos stored digitally on their computers. Print out a few and include them with the letter so she has something to touch and treasure for years to come.

Record Her Stories Interview the mom in your life about what it means to be a mother. Ask her about her memories of when her children were first born. Have your kids come up with some of the questions. Record your conversation digitally or on tape. Secretly record an interview with her mom, too, then edit and present both recordings to her on Mother’s Day. Just imagine how much the family will appreciate having that decades down the road.

Mother's Day Gift Certificates New Location 513 Alamo Street For an appointment call 337-304-2453

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Research Reveals Today's Graduates Are Almost Entirely Ignorant of Saved By The Bell By Brad Goins

A MINDEST IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE FOR YEARS NOW, one of the big “memes” of cyber culture and American popular culture in general has been the “College Mindset List.” The basic idea is simple. The list informs teachers of all sorts of things from recent history that current students almost certainly won’t know about. For instance, students probably won’t know what the KGB was or why people were so scared of it. They can’t remember a time when California’s economy was stable. They may not know that until recently, tattoos were recently taboo. They think of Mike Tyson as a felon, not a great athlete. The College Mindset List was first prepared by a professor and administrator at Beloit College in 1998. It’s been updated every year since. The web site for the list — beloit.edu/mindset — gets 300,000 hits a year. That’s not a phenomenal amount for the cyber age, but it’s enough to keep the idea on the cultural map. This list makes for amusing entertainment. But it’s more entertaining than informative. It works best if readers don’t take it too seriously. If anyone subjected the list to serious scrutiny, he’d be sure to start wondering whether the authors put it together priToday’s graduates know about Shrek and not about the Green Giant. But do students really need to know how frozen peas were marketed?

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marily as a humorous way to get attention and move a product. One wonders how any teacher could take seriously such items on the list as these: Do you “43. Kevin Uzbekistan: know a single thing Costner has about this place? always been Does your graduate? Dancing with Wolves, especially on cable. “52. They [students] have never been Saved by the Bell. “60. Agent Starling has always feared the Silence of the Lambs.” How do teachers gain any insights into American education by knowing

that students haven’t watched one of the many 1980s sitcoms or that Silence of the Lambs continues to be a popular movie? I’m guessing that Nos. 43, 52 and 60 (and many others) are written as cheap shots at easy jokes. They are things that have much more to say about the writers than any students. Some items assume much more knowledge than one would expect from students. For instance, No. 39 reads “It’s always been official: President Zachary Taylor did not die of arsenic poisoning.” Since when did students know even the name of Zachary Taylor, much less the cause of his death? Similar questions could be asked about item no. 38: “Belarus, Moldova, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Armenia, Latvia, Georgia, Lithuania and Estonia have always been independent nations.” Did the students of 30 or 40 years ago know that Uzbekistan was not an independent nation? On what planet? Some items are bizarre. No. 46 reads “It’s A Wonderful Life has always been on Moscow television.” Such a thing is absolutely unknown to me and I can’t

imagine why any American student could or should know it. As for No. 45 — “They have always eaten Berry Berry Kix” — the most enthusiastic response I can muster is a not very enthusiastic “So?” I wonder whether I should be feeling some sort of overwhelming moral imperative to travel through Calcasieu Parish, speaking to the students about my childhood experiences of eating Count Chocula. Why Teachers Know About This List So, if the College Mindset List is taken as a light, self-promoting, slightly informative piece of humor, it works well enough. Anyone misguided enough to take it seriously might ponder a serious question: Why would we expect students to know much about the history of the country in the decades before they were born? When I was in school, I’m certain no teacher ever expected me to come to the first day of classes knowing about the music of Glenn Miller, the role of Kruschev in World War II or the morals and behaviors of the Flappers. It would have been considered bizarre for teachers to expect such things of students. Is it, then, reasonable to assume that today’s students would know about the music of Bruce Springsteen, the role Ho Chi Minh played in the Southeast Asia conflict or the behavior of the Black Panthers? The popularity of the College Mindset List may be a factor of the legendary selfcenteredness of the Baby Boomer. Could it


be the Baby Boomer simply expects that young people will appreciate the music, the culture and the key events of his own youth? Such a phenomenon would explain the fact that to this day it’s common for automobile commercials to feature popular tunes from the 1960s and 1970s, even though the models in the commercials are obviously in their 20s. It would hardly be surprising if young students were confused when they’re on the receiving end of cultural phenomena with such mixed messages. Well, see for yourself what you think of the College Mindset List. At worst, it will give you some light amusement and a little break from the day. Will you be shocked by what students don’t know? You’ll have to read the list to find out. Here are the first 75 items in the list: The List The Beloit College Mindset List for the Class of 2013 Most students entering college for the first time were born in 1991. 1. For these students, Martha Graham, Pan American Airways, Michael Landon, Dr. Seuss, Miles Davis, The Dallas Times Herald, Gene Roddenberry and Freddie Mercury have always been dead. 2. Dan Rostenkowski, Jack Kevorkian and Mike Tyson have always been felons. 3. The Green Giant has always been Shrek, not the big guy picking vegetables. 4. They have never used a card catalog to find a book. 5. Margaret Thatcher has always been a former prime minister. 6. Salsa has always outsold ketchup.

7. Earvin “Magic” Johnson has always have never had periods. 23. The European Union has always been HIV-positive. 8. Tattoos have always been very chic existed. 24. McDonald’s has always been servand highly visible. 9. They have been preparing for the ing Happy Meals in China. 25. Condoms have always been adverarrival of HDTV all their lives. tised on television. 10. Rap music has always 26. Cable television systems have been mainstream. always offered telephone service and 11. Chocolate chip cookie vice versa. dough ice cream has always 27. Christopher Columbus has been a flavor choice. always been get12. Someone has ting a bad rap. always been building 28. The something taller than the American health Willis (née Sears) Tower care system has in Chicago. always been in 13. The KGB has never critical condition. officially existed. 29. Bobby 14. Text has always Cox has always been hyper. managed the 15. They never Atlanta Braves. saw the “Scud Stud” 30. Desperate (but there have always smokers have always been able been electromagnetic to turn to Nicoderm skin patchstud finders.) es. 16. Babies have 31. There has always been a always had a Social Cartoon Network. Security Number. Count Chocula: Do today’s 32. The nation’s key 17. They have never had graduates even know economic indicator has to “shake down” an oral ther- who this guy is? Just what do they know? always been the Gross mometer. Domestic Product (GDP). 18. Bungee jumping has 33. Their folks could always reach for always been socially acceptable. 19. They have never understood the a Zoloft. 34. They have always been able to meaning of RSVP. 20. American students have always read books on an electronic screen. 35. Women have always outnumbered lived anxiously with high-stakes educationmen in college. al testing. 36. We have always watched wars, 21. Except for the present incumbent, coups and police arrests unfold on televithe President has never inhaled. 22. State abbreviations in addresses sion in real time.

37. Amateur radio operators have never needed to know Morse code. 38. Belarus, Moldova, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Armenia, Latvia, Georgia, Lithuania and Estonia have always been independent nations. 39. It’s always been official: President Zachary Taylor did not die of arsenic poisoning. 40. Madonna’s perspective on Sex has always been well documented. 41. Phil Jackson has always been coaching championship basketball. 42. Ozzy Osbourne has always been coming back. 43. Kevin Costner has always been Dancing with Wolves, especially on cable. 44. There have always been flat screen televisions. 45. They have always eaten Berry Berry Kix. 46. Disney’s Fantasia has always been available on video, and It’s a Wonderful Life has always been on Moscow television. 47. Smokers have never been promoted as an economic force that deserves respect. 48. Elite American colleges have never been able to fix the price of tuition. 49. Nobody has been able to make a deposit in the Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI). 50. Everyone has always known what the evening news was before the Evening News came on. 51. Britney Spears has always been heard on classic rock stations. 52. They have never been Saved by the Bell. continued

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53. Someone has always been ask- cardboard packaging. ing: “Was Iraq worth a war?” 65. Avon has always been “calling” 54. Most communities have always in a catalog. had a mega-church. 66. NATO has always been looking 55. Natalie Cole has always been for a role. singing with her father. 67. Two Koreas have always been 56. The status members of the UN. of gays in the mili68. Official tary has always been racial classifications a topic of political in South Africa debate. have always been 57. Elizabeth outlawed. Taylor has always 69. The NBC reeked of White Today Show has Diamonds. always been seen on 58. There has weekends. always been a Planet 70. Vice presiHollywood. dents of the United 59. For one reaStates have always son or another, had real power. California’s future 71. Conflict in has always been in Northern Ireland has doubt. always been slowly 60. Agent winding down. Starling has always 72. Migration feared the Silence of of once independent the Lambs. media like radio, 61. “Womyn” TV, videos and and “waitperson” compact discs to the have always been in computer has never the dictionary. amazed them. 62. Members of 73. Nobody has Congress have ever responded to always had to keep “Help, I’ve fallen Saved By The Bell: their checkbooks and I can’t get up.” This has nothing to do balanced since the 74. Congress with anything. closing of the House could never give Bank. itself a mid-term raise. 63. There has always been a comput75. Blue Jell-O has always existed. er in the Oval Office. 64. CDs have never been sold in

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THE SPEECH THAT WAS NEVER DELIVERED In Which We Solve A Graduation Speech Mystery And Learn About The Importance Of Sunscreen By Brad Goins MANY A YOUNG GRADUATE has been told about the time the great American writer and iconoclast Kurt Vonnegut addressed the graduating class of MIT. With his wild hair, walrus mustache and rumpled suit, Vonnegut took the stage and began in just the sort of unexpected way one expected him to begin anything: “Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘97: Wear sunscreen.” It’s a typical, great Vonnegut story.

The irreverent man of letters takes a momentous occasion and turns it into an opportunity for provocation, laughter and a healthy exploration of the ridiculous. It’s a great story. And it’s just that — a story. Vonnegut never gave a speech about sunscreen. He never gave the graduation speech in question, period. The story of Vonnegut’s legendary graduation speech is one of the thousands of urban myths that circulate


throughout the United States at any given time. This urban myth apparently began as many do. An individual found a piece of writing he or she liked and made up a larger than life story that would give the previously unknown writing a great impact (assuming the story were believed). The writing was taken out of its original context and circulated with the new, exciting story. And another legend was born. The not-so-exciting origin of the speech Vonnegut never gave was a deadline faced years ago by Chicago Tribune writer Mary Schmich. Schmich decided to compose the graduation speech she’d like to give if she were ever to give a graduation speech. And her Tribune piece began with those words that have now become part and parcel of American lore: “Wear sunscreen.” Although Schmich never gave her speech, it’s worth the 10 minutes it takes to read it. It will almost certainly be of greater interest and variety than whatever graduation speeches you have to sit through this spring. Here it is, then, word for word, exactly as Kurt Vonnegut never said it:

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents. You never

know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable,

politicians were noble, and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘97: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone. May 2, 2013

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Protecting Your Finances Challenging circumstances always bring about plenty of uncertainties, but you may be better able to weather a storm if you have certain financial safeguards in place. Here are some suggestions that may help you maintain a solid financial footing. Pay off debt. As challenging as it may be, make debt reduction one of your top priorities‚ particularly credit card balances with high interest rates.

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Consider refinancing your home. While mortgage interest rates are still low, you may want to lock into a fixed rate loan. Look for ways to scale back. Consider moving to a smaller, more affordable home or apartment. At the same time, sell possessions that you no longer use‚ such as an exercise bike or collections of items that no longer interest you — and save the money you get

for those items. Try to live on one salary. If you and your partner are both employed, strive to live on one income, and put some or all of the rest in savings. Be sure some of that money is deposited into accounts that are accessible for emergencies. Negotiate. Ask for lower rates on credit cards and for discounts on merchandise. If there are sign-up fees for a

particular service, see if that fee can be waived. In lean times, some retailers will agree, just to keep you as a customer. Pay cash for purchases. Spend only what you have in hand right now; put off purchases that require you to add to a credit card balance. Enrich your salary potential. Learn new skills, take on some different responsibilities at work, or even start a continued opposing page


Variable Annuities A variable annuity is an annuity with exposure to investments. If a fixed annuity pays a fixed rate of return, a variable annuity pays a variable rate of return. Before making a final decision for or against a variable annuity, you should understand how they work.

THE VARIABLE IN VARIABLE ANNUITY A variable annuity is similar to plainvanilla fixed annuities. You get some of the same features, like tax-deferral, guarantees and potential for lifetime payouts. What makes the variable annuity unique is the investments inside the annuity. You’ll often have a choice of stock and bond mutual funds to put your money in. This is where the term variable comes in (as in, “your returns will vary with the returns of the investments”). Fixed annuities offer a predetermined return. There’s no way of knowing for sure what a variable annuity will return.

expensive. At this point, I should point out that there is only one reason you should ever pay these charges: because you need to. I cannot overemphasize this. If you don’t need the benefits unique to a variable annuity, don’t use one. You can invest in mutual funds and pay a lot less. However, if you want the guarantees, for example, then the additional cost may be worth it.

WHY USE ONE? You need to pick between a fixed annuity and a variable annuity. There are some cases where you might pick the vari-

able annuity. For example: • You want the potential for more growth than a fixed annuity offers • You can afford increased risk with your money • You want some of the flexibility that newer variable annuity products offer.

BEFORE YOU BUY A VARIABLE ANNUITY Before you buy a variable annuity, you should make sure it’s the right thing for you. Know what you’re getting into. In particular, find out why an advisor is recommending a variable annuity as opposed to

mutual funds. Sometimes there’s a good reason, sometimes not. Take the prospectus home and read it carefully. This is the best source of important information about a variable annuity. It should detail all of the expenses, riders and surrender features of the contract. If you don’t know how the product works, ask somebody you trust. A variable annuity is a lot like a Rube Goldberg machine. Several moving parts have to work together for a successful outcome. If one of them fails, the whole thing fails.

FEES There’s no such thing as a free lunch. You get some standard features, and you might add some bells and whistles (or “riders”), but there’s a cost. A variable annuity has the following costs: • Mortality and Expense charges • Administration charges • Underlying investment charges • Rider charges (if you select any optional riders). Depending on the features of the annuity you’re looking at, these charges will vary. A basic annuity will have lower fees and expenses, and a fully loaded variable annuity with every possible option will be

Protecting Your Finances continued small part-time business. In a downturn, the expertise you bring to a position may help make you invaluable to your company — or give you options should you be downsized. Don’t raid your retirement account. You’ll typically pay a 10-percent federal income-tax penalty for removing the funds early, and you’ll shortchange your future. Don’t let your insurance lapse. Keep your home, disability, life and car insurance coverage current. If something happens to you during a down time, you’ll need that protection. Don’t co-sign a loan. It’s risky unless you’re sure you can shoulder the entire burden yourself. Even if the co-signer is trustworthy, there’s no guarantee he or she won’t default. Don’t take on additional debt. Thoroughly evaluate any outlay that results in debt. A student loan for your child may be a reasonable debt — but a big credit card expense is not.

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Teaching Children Financial Awareness “Dad, I really need that new baseball glove. My old one is just not working any more, and the team is counting on me in the outfield. Can’t you get me a new glove? I will pay you back.” Such was the plea made by Stephen to his dad. Dad wasn’t planning on a buying a new baseball glove with this paycheck, and the utility bill was higher than he expected. Dad decided he needed to help his children learn more about money, so he devised a plan. “Stephen, we are not going to get a baseball glove today, and this evening we are going to have a family night where we talk about the family budget and how we all need to be more aware of our resources.” That evening, Greg and Pam called the kids together and got out the play money from the Monopoly game. “OK, kids. Tonight we are going to learn about our family budget. Every two weeks, from Dad’s full-time job and Mom’s part-time job, we bring home about $3,000. So, we have put in this pile of Monopoly money $6,000. That seems like a lot, doesn’t it? But then we have to take $1,900 for our mortgage payment. Do you know what a mortgage is?” And on the evening went. At the end of the evening, the kids had a greater appreciation for the family’s budget and a better understanding of why so many things they

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wanted had to be put off for another time. Parents have a big responsibility to help their children learn to be aware of the value of money and teaching them the importance of financial awareness. Neglecting this important teaching responsibility can cause children to find themselves in debt and in trouble, even as early as their teenage years. Here are some ideas about how parents can help their children become more financially aware and prepare them to manage their own money. Discuss finances at home. Like Greg did with his kids, take the time to explain where the money comes from to support the family, and where it all goes each month. As the children learn to appreciate the family’s budgetary limits, they will also learn the importance of staying financially solvent in their own lives. As our children watch parents come up with ways to save money for a big family vacation or a major purchase, they learn what it means to be financially disciplined. Help children set financial goals. Most often, financial goals start when the kids want something and need to save for it. For our children, it was most often a bicycle that was the first savings target. For others,

it may be the latest designer jeans or a cell phone. Take them shopping to compare prices, and then help them use their math skills to figure out how much they have to save and how often in order to buy the item. As they get older, you can talk to your children about saving for college expenses, for school fees for the extracurricular activities they want to do, for a car or other larger ticket items. Helping them set goals and come up with a plan, and then tracking their progress, can really help children learn to appreciate money and the need to save. Develop an allowance system. When kids have access to money they’ve earned, they tend to appreciate it more, and they learn hard lessons about money while there’s still not much at stake. A good allowance system is a good place to start teaching money management. Keeping track of what’s earned, saved and spent will be an important lesson. Get your children a bank account. About the time your children hit second grade or so, you should head down to your bank or credit union and set up a savings account. Getting their saved money out of the home makes them less tempted to spend it on the latest craving. And as children watch the balance grow and see those few

pennies of interest added, they will become more excited about saving. Just make sure you’re also a signatory on the account so you can keep control of their assets if needed. Don’t give into financial demands. Children are notorious for going to the store with you and wanting a candy bar, a toy or something that attracts their attention. Be firm, and don’t give in. Those are moments when they learn the need for delayed gratification and how to make choices for longterm gain, even if it results in short-term pain. Teach children the need to avoid impulse buying by setting the example yourself in their presence. Share the pain of setbacks. When you experience a financial setback due to job loss, the need to replace a major appliance or another financial reverse, don’t protect them from the consequences. Whether fair or not, life hands us financial reversals from time to time, and it’s good for kids to get a dose of reality. So you may have to put off a family vacation or a major purchase that they were looking forward to — they will learn the need for good planning and for adapting to changes in life. Helping your children learn about money and how to be aware of financial situations that may confront you now and then will help them learn to make good financial choices in their lives.


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Borrowing Basics Borrowing money can help you do things, but it can be a complicated process. If you need money, find out how to get loans and how they work. Learn the process so you know what to expect, and what you can do ahead of time.

UNDERSTAND YOUR LOAN Before you get a loan, make sure you know what you’re getting into. Borrowing may make your life easier, but you can also get into trouble. Learn how loans work, and figure out if you can afford the payments before you buy. Remember that the money you spend on interest is gone for good.

CHOOSE A LENDER You’ll need to decide who to get a loan from. In some cases, you don’t have much choice — the loan may be part of whatever you’re buying. Otherwise, you can visit with a variety of lenders — banks, credit unions, online lenders, mortgage brokers and so on. The type of loan will also affect who you borrow from. Not everybody offers home loans or RV loans, for example. Whatever your choice, ask a lender how to get a loan and what your options are. They’ll provide paperwork and let you know what it takes to qualify. Credit unions are generally a good place to start, and banks may advertise some great deals to drum up business. Cover all the bases by comparing their rates to online lenders.

SUBMIT AN APPLICATION You’ll have to apply for a loan by providing information about yourself and agreeing to certain rules. Lenders want to know who you are and where to find you. They’ll ask about your finances in order to decide whether or not you can afford the payments. They’ll also need your Social Security Number to check your credit.

GO THROUGH UNDERWRITING After you submit your application, the lender will evaluate you as a potential borrower. This process may be instant, or it may take a few weeks; home loans take longer than credit card offers because there’s more at stake. The lender will pull your credit (or just use a credit score in some cases) and review your application. Lenders may ask you to clarify or prove something; that’s generally a good sign. It means they take underwriting seriously and are more likely to offer competitive rates.

GET AN ANSWER Eventually, you’ll find out if you qualify for the loan. If you do, the lender will send money to you or whoever you’re buying from, and you’ll start repaying the loan. If you don’t get the loan, you should get an answer as to why. Ask the lender how to get loans from them if you decide to try again. This information is useful because you can try to fix things. If your credit was not good enough, work on building credit and review your credit reports for errors.

HOW TO REPAY LOANS As you’re figuring out how to get loans, keep repayment in mind. Some loans are a one-time deal — you borrow money to buy something and repay it over several years. A portion of each payment is your interest cost, and the rest is used to reduce your loan balance. This process is called amortization. Other loans are revolving loans; you can borrow multiple times as long as you make periodic payments. For example, you can use a credit card month after month. You might pay the entire balance every month, but you can continue borrowing until you reach your credit limit.

Debit Or Credit? When you purchase with plastic you’re often asked if you’d like to make it a debit or credit transaction. What’s the difference? The choice you make determines how your purchase is processed, who pays the bill for that processing, how long it takes, and what your rights are. It’s important to know how interchange fees work and just how important your choice is. When you use a debit card, you can sometimes choose how the purchase is processed. It can either be an online transaction or an offline transaction. If you punch in your personal identification number (PIN), it’s an online transaction — it gets completed electronically, and 44

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it’s done pretty quickly. If you don’t use your PIN and you sign a charge slip instead, it’s an offline transaction. Offline transactions are processed much like plain-vanilla credit card purchases. Even though you use a debit card, offline transactions are very much like credit card transactions. Your debit card might have a Visa logo on it, for example, so it runs through the Visa network. It’s not a credit transaction, but it uses the same infrastructure. So, when you’re using a debit card, choosing “credit” makes it an offline transaction; choosing “debit” makes it an online transaction.


Along with having your teeth cleaned by a dental hygienist, your dental health routine should include having a complete dental exam performed by your dentist. It’s important to be checked regularly by your dentist (at least every year, or whatever is recommended based on the health of your mouth).

The Periodic Oral Exam At each dental visit, the dental technician will review your medical history to see if there are any changes that need to be updated. It’s important to let the technician know if you’re on any new medications, or if you were diagnosed with any medical conditions since your last dental visit. Once you’ve discussed any medical changes you may have, the dentist will perform a visual exam of your mouth, which includes your teeth and surrounding soft tissue. The dentist will check each individual tooth with an instrument called the explorer. This instrument helps the dentist detect any areas of concern on each tooth. The dentist checks for decay, stains and

gum recession, and also examines the margins around any existing fillings or crowns.

Dental X-rays In order to help find problems in the mouth, your dentist may have dental x-rays taken. These pictures of your mouth and teeth will help your dentist diagnose any conditions or potential problem areas that require attention.

Diagnosing Problems Your dentist uses a variety of methods to help diagnose any problems you may have. This may include a visual oral exam, dental x-rays, intra-oral pictures and oral cancer screenings. Your dentist will also ask you about any changes you have noticed since your last visit.

Discussing Concerns One way to help your dentist uncover any potential issues is to discuss any con-

cerns you may have or problems you have experienced since your last dental visit. A review of symptoms can help the dentist tremendously in diagnosing a dental condition. There is no concern too small to discuss.

Cancer Screening Exam Most dentists conduct an oral cancer screening exam. This may include a simple visual exam of the soft tissue to check for any apparent lesions, lumps, discolorations or other areas of concerns. An oral exam alone cannot tell your dentist whether any area is cancerous or not. If your dentist finds an unusual spot that he wishes to investigate further, he may refer you to an oral surgeon for a second opinion, or obtain a biopsy of the area to send off to a lab for further review. Your dentist may also offer a special cancer screening that includes rinsing the mouth with dye and shining a special light

inside the mouth to detect any unhealthy areas on the tissue that aren’t visible during a standard oral exam. You may want to consider specialized cancer screenings if you have any of the following factors that may put you at an increased risk for oral cancer: • Tobacco use of any kind, including cigarettes, pipes, chewing tobacco, cigars (even if you are not inhaling) and dip. • Alcohol use • Previous history of oral cancer. Ask your dentist if he thinks you are a candidate for special oral cancer screenings.

Dental Insurance Typically, dental insurance plans cover routine dental maintenance, which includes periodic oral examinations. They may not include oral cancer screenings, so check on that ahead of time. It’s always advisable to have a detailed list of what your individual plan covers for your own information.

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Root canal therapy is one of the most feared dental procedures. A survey conducted by the American Association of Endodontists reveals that most people with a fear of the dentist base their fear on someone else’s experiences, not their own. The inaccurate information about root canal therapy prevents patients from making an informed decision regarding their teeth. There are many patients who go as far as requesting that a tooth is extracted rather than saving it with a root canal. Before you believe the hype, take a look at the top root canal myths. Myth 1: Root Canal Therapy Is Painful. Root canal therapy is almost always performed because a tooth is causing pain from an irreversible condition. Pulpitis, an infected pulp, a broken tooth, or a slowly dying nerve are all common reasons for root canal therapy. Root canal therapy is used to alleviate pain. Most people who have root canal therapy admit they did not experience any pain during the appointment, and felt better afterward.

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According to the American Association of Endodontists, the perception that root canal therapy is painful stems from early treatment methods used to perform the procedure. In addition, if you are suffering from pain on the day of your appointment, your apprehension and fear may heighten the sensations you feel during the procedure. Myth 2: Completing a Root Canal Requires Several Appointments. Root canal therapy may be completed in one to two appointments. Factors that determine the number of appointments necessary to complete a root canal include the extent of the infection, the difficulty of the procedure, and whether a referral to a root canal specialist, known as an endodontist, becomes necessary. Restoring the tooth after root canal therapy is necessary in order to ensure that the tooth functions properly. The appoint-

ments necessary to completely restore the tooth, in essence, should not be considered part of the root canal process. Myth 3: Root Canal Therapy Causes Illness. The idea that bacteria trapped inside an endodontically-treated tooth will cause illness, such as heart disease, kidney disease or arthritis, stems from research conducted by Dr. Weston Price from 1910 to 1930 — almost 100 years ago. Recent attempts to confirm Price’s research have been unsuccessful. Bacteria can be found in the mouth at any time. Even teeth which are free of decay and gum disease have tested positive for bacteria. Myth 4: Root Canal Therapy Is Performed Only When A Tooth Hurts. Teeth that require root canal therapy are not always painful. In fact, teeth that

are already dead may require root canal therapy to prevent the tooth from becoming infected. Your dentist will examine your teeth thoroughly during your regular check-up. It is usually during this routine checkup that your dentist will discover a tooth that has died or is dying. Tests used to confirm a dead tooth include temperature testing, percussion testing, and use of a pulp vitality machine. Myth 5: The Benefits of Root Canal Therapy Don’t Last Very Long. This myth originated after patients experienced tooth breakage months after a root canal was performed on the tooth. When the nerve is removed from the inside of the tooth, blood supply is eliminated. The tooth eventually becomes brittle, and the forces generated by grinding, eating and even talking may cause the tooth to break. Failing to have a crown placed on the tooth may cause this to happen. Technically, it is not the root canal that has failed; it is the restoration on the tooth that has failed.


The monotonous task of brushing and flossing your teeth daily can help you avoid gum disease and its effect on your overall health. It has been estimated that 75 percent of Americans have some form of gum disease, which has been linked not only to dental problems but to serious health complications.

What is Gum Disease? Periodontal disease, also called gum disease, is mainly caused by bacteria from plaque and tartar build-up. Other factors that have the potential to cause gum disease may include tobacco use, clenching or grinding your teeth, certain medications and genetics. Types of Gum Disease Include: • Gingivitis. This is the beginning stage of gum disease that often goes undetected. This stage of the disease is reversible. • Periodontitis. Untreated gingivitis may lead to this next stage of gum disease. With many levels of periodontitis, the common outcome is chronic inflammatory response, a condition when the body breaks

down the bone and tissue in the infected area of the mouth, ultimately resulting in tooth and bone loss. Signs of Gum Disease Include: • red, bleeding, and swollen gums • bad breath • mobility of the teeth • tooth sensitivity caused by receding gums • abscessed teeth • tooth loss. Recent studies suggest that gum disease may contribute to or be a warning sign of potentially life threatening conditions such as: • Heart Disease and Stroke. Studies suggest gingivitis may increase the risk of heart disease and stroke because of the high levels of bacteria found in infected areas of the mouth. As the level of periodontal disease increases, the risk of cardiovascular disease may increase with it. Other studies have suggested that the inflammation in the gums may create a chronic inflammation response in other parts of the body, which

has also been implicated in increasing the risk of heart disease and stroke. • Diabetes. People with diabetes often have some form of gum disease, likely caused by high blood glucose, according to the CDC. People with diabetes need to take extra care to ensure proper brushing and flossing techniques are used to prevent the advancement of the gum disease. Regular checkups and cleanings with your dental hygienist should be followed. • Chronic Kidney Disease. A study, conducted by Case Western Reserve University, suggests that people without any natural teeth, known as edentulous, are more likely to have chronic kidney disease (CDK), than people with natural teeth. CDK affects blood pressure, and can cause heart disease and possibly kidney failure. It also affects bone health. • Pre-term Birth. Babies that are born premature — before 37 weeks of gestation — may face numerous health complica-

tions. Research indicates that women with periodontal disease are three to five times more likely to have a baby born pre-term, compared to women without any form of gum disease. Women are more susceptible to gingivitis when pregnant, and should follow their regular brushing habits, and continue with dental cleanings and examinations.

Treatments Depending on the type of gum disease, some of the available treatment options are: • removal of plaque and calculus by way of scaling, done by your dental hygienist or dentist. • medications such as chlorhexidine gluconate, a mouth rinse prescribed by your dentist or hygienist to help kill the bacteria in your mouth, along with frequent cleanings. • surgery, necessary in certain cases to stop, halt or minimize the progression of periodontal disease. Surgery is also used to replace bone that was lost in advanced stages of the disease.

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CONTRABAND DAYS SCHEDULE OF EVENTS Note: Concerts and events are free with $5 gate admission. *indicates additional cost for special attractions.

THURSDAY, MAY 2 Family Day - National Day of Prayer (Alcohol-Free Evening) - Nancy Melton And Friends For the latest, log on to contra- Watercolor Show banddays.com or call 436- - Aussie Kingdom 5508. For daily carnival ride • 8 am: Louisiana Music specials, call Todd Armstrong Educators’ Association — Shows at 702-350-1850. Choral State Competition • 11:30 am: Profit and Loss Association Luncheon, with speaker Dennis Swanberg — LCCC Coliseum • 4 pm: Festival Gates Open * Todd Armstrong Carnival Rides - Galley Alley Food Booths - Galley Alley Dining Area, Sponsored by Lloyd Lauw

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Collision Center - Pirate Marketplace * Emerson Pony Rides Lake Charles Civic Center Coliseum: • 6:30 pm: Audio Adrenaline Kings & Queens Tour Kid’s World Stage: • 5 pm: Steve Gryb: “The Pied Piper Of Percussion” • 6 pm: Power Church • 8 pm: Steve Gryb: “The Pied Piper Of Percussion” • 9:30 pm: Steve Gryb: “The Pied Piper Of Percussion” FRIDAY, MAY 3 • 8 am: Louisiana Music Educators’ Association — Choir State Festival

- Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show - Aussie Kingdom - Redfish Tournament • 3 pm: Spike And Splash Volleyball — Corporate Four On Four — I-10 Beach • 4 pm: Festival Gates Open - Galley Alley Food Booths - Galley Alley Dining Area, Sponsored by Lloyd Lauw Collision Center Pirate Marketplace • 5 pm: Spike And Splash Jet Ski Arrival At Seawall *Todd Armstrong Carnival Rides • 8 pm: Spike And Splash Athletes - Social — VIP Tent Activities:


CONTRABAND DAYS SCHEDULE OF EVENTS • 5 pm: Lake Charles Cannon Firing To Protect The City — Seawall • 6 pm: Buccaneers Begin Shore Landing — Seawall • 7 pm: Jean Lafitte and Buccaneers Force City Mayors To “Walk the Plank” — Seawall • 7:30 pm: Contraband Days/Banner Series Presents Lynn Trefzger, Ventriloquist — Rosa Hart Theatre Outdoor Stage: • 7 pm: Ronnie “Rude” Perkins • 9 pm: Midnight Star

Contest On Center Court • 1 pm: 25th Annual Contraband Days Armwrestling Tournament • 2 pm: Spike And Splash — Freestyle Watercross • 3 pm: Spike And Splash — Pro Volleyball Semifinals

• 4 pm: Spike And Splash — Amateur Team Finals - Spike And Splash — Athletes Meet and Greet Social • 5 pm: Spike And Splash — 30-Minute Autograph Session • 6 pm: Spike And Splash — Amateur Awards Ceremony

• 7 pm: Spike And Splash — Athlete Social, VIP Tent Outdoor Stage: • 3-4:30 pm: Matt McElveen And The Kids • 5-6:30 pm: Mark Reeves and Twisted X • 7-8:30 pm: Shailee Cole

SATURDAY, MAY 4 - Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show - Aussie Kingdom - Redfish Tournament - Spike N Splash Volleyball — I-10 Beach • 10 am: Festival Gates Open - Galley Alley Food Booths - Galley Alley Dining Area, Sponsored by Lloyd Lauw Collision Center Pirate Marketplace • Noon: *Todd Armstrong Carnival Rides Activities: • 6 am: “Tour Lafitte 2013” Registration and Packet Pick-Up — LCCC Grounds • 7:30 am: “Tour Lafitte 2012” Start — LCCC Grounds • 8:30 am: Spike And Splash Volleyball — Player Check-in • 9 am: Jet Ski Motos Begin • Spike And Splash Volleyball — Professional Play Begins • 9 am-noon: Registration and Weigh-Ins for the 25th Annual Contraband Days Armwrestling Tournament • 11 am: Spike And Splash Volleyball — Special

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CONTRABAND DAYS SCHEDULE OF EVENTS • 9-11 pm: Larry Tillery SUNDAY, MAY 5 - Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show - Aussie Kingdom • Noon: Festival Gates Open * Todd Armstrong Carnival Rides Galley Alley Food Booths Galley Alley Dining Area, Sponsored by Lloyd Lauw Collision Center - Pirate Marketplace Activities: • 10 am: Spike And Splash Volleyball — Co-Ed Amateur Team Contests Begin • 10 am: Contraband Days Pirogue Building Contest — Pirogue Building And Launch Begins — LCCC Grounds • 11 am: Spike And Splash — Pro Beach Volleyball Finals

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• 11 am: Spike And Splash — Pro Watercross Racing Championships • 3 pm: Awards Ceremony For Watercross And Volleyball — Pit Row • 3 pm: Bed Races Start — LCCC Grounds • 4:30 pm: Pirougue Race Starts — Seawall • 5:30 pm: “Show Me Your Dinghy” Contest and Parade — Seawall Outdoor Stage: • 4-5 pm: Rusty Metoyer Zydeco Krush • 5-8 pm: Chris Ardoin MONDAY, MAY 5 - Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show • 6 pm: *Todd Armstrong Carnival

TUESDAY, MAY 7 - Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show • 6 pm: *Todd Armstrong Carnival WEDNESDAY, MAY 8 - Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show • 6 pm: * Todd Armstrong Carnival THURSDAY, MAY 9 - Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show - Rock The Dock Finals - Aussie Kingdom • 4 pm: Festival Gates Open Galley Alley Food Booths - Galley Alley Dining Area, Sponsored by Lloyd Lauw Collision Center - Pirate Marketplace *Todd Armstrong Carnival

Rides Activities: • 7 pm: Rock the Dock Finals FRIDAY, MAY 10 - Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show - Scott Firefighter Challenge • 4 pm: Festival Gates Open - Galley Alley Food Booths - Galley Alley Dining Area, Sponsored By Lloyd Lauw Collision Center - Pirate Marketplace • 5 pm: *Todd Armstrong Carnival Rides Outdoor Stage: • 6-6:45pm: Jo-El Sonnier • 6:45 pm: T Graham Brown • 8:15-9:15 pm: Charlie Worsham • 10-11:15 pm: Kentucky Headhunters


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CONTRABAND DAYS SCHEDULE OF EVENTS SATURDAY, MAY 11 - Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show - Aussie Kingdom - Firefighters Challenge • 10 am: Festival Gates Open - Galley Alley Food Booths - Galley Alley Dining Area, Sponsored by Lloyd Lauw Collision Center - Pirate Marketplace • Noon: *Todd Armstrong Carnival Rides Activities: • 8 am: Contraband Days 5Miler, Presented by The Lake Area Runners — Capital One Building, Downtown Lake Charles • 10 am: 15th Annual Contraband Days Car Show, Sponsored by O’Reilly Auto Parts • 2-5 pm: Strut Your Stuff Power Boat Exhibition • 5:30-7 pm: Contraband Days Boat Parade • 9 pm: 56th Annual Fireworks Party (Invitation Required) — LCCC Buccaneer Room And Third Floor Balcony • 10:15 pm: Contraband Days Annual Fireworks Spectacular Ninth Annual Bar-B-Que Cookoff: • 7 am: Check-in • 9 am: Chief Cook Meeting • 11 am: Judging of Seafood

• Noon: Judging of Chicken • 1 pm: Judging of Ribs • 2 pm: Judging of Boston Butt • 4 pm: Award Presentation Outdoor Stage: • 1:30- 2:30 pm: Ganey Arsement And The Lakeside Gamblers • 3-4 pm: Ivy Dugas And The Cajun Cousins • 4:30-5:30 pm: Jamie Bergeron And The Kickin’ Cajuns • 6-7 pm: High Performance • 7:30-8:30 pm: Damon Troy • 9-9:45 pm: Jo-El Sonnier • 3-10 pm: Tiki Island Radio — Renn Loren And Tiki Town Castaways, Dani Hoy, Matt Haggatt, Davis McKenney Kid’s World Stage: • 10 am: Registration for Children’s Pirate Costume Contest • 11 am: The Buccaneer’s Pirate Costume Contest for Children SUNDAY, MAY 12 - Nancy Melton And Friends Watercolor Show • Noon-8 pm: *Todd Armstrong Carnival Rides (Mother’s Days Special — TBA)

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CONTRABAND DAYS HAPPENINGS FESTIVAL ADMISSION & PARKING

PIROGUE CONTEST The Contraband Days Pirogue Contest will take place May 6. Pirogue construction will be from 9 am-4 pm, and the pirogue race will begin at 4:30 pm. Teams must be registered by Wednesday, April 25.

One-day admission is $5, children 5 and younger are free. Gate passes (available for a limited time) are $13 for the entire festival ($10 for pass, $1 processing fee and $2 ticket leap fee; passes available online at contrabanddays.com). Presale gate pass for the entire festival are $10. General parking is $2 per day.

AUSSIE KINGDOM Aussie Kingdom is bringing the Australian outback to Contraband Days. There will be three educational and entertaining stage shows per day. You’ll see, touch and hold kangaroos, wallabies, walleroos and other native Australian wildlife.

BARBECUE COOK-OFF The Contraband Days Barbecue Cook-Off will take place Saturday, May 11. Teams will be submitting delicious entries in four categories, including chicken, ribs, Boston butt and seafood. There will be a $250 prize for the first place winner in each category, and a $750 prize for the overall winner, who must have competed in all four categories to qualify. Prize amounts are subject to change according to number of entries. Proceeds will benefit the Ulster Project. Entry forms are available on the

Contraband Days website’s event application page.

ARM-WRESTLING TOURNAMENT The Contraband Days Arm Wrestling Tournament will take place Saturday, May 4. The tournament is hosted by The Compassionate Friends of SWLA, a grief support group for families who have lost a child.

CELEBRATE CONTRABAND DAYS AT

CONTRABAND DRINK SPECIALS!

LARGE - $7.00 GALLON - $22.00 THURSDAY-FRIDAY-SATURDAY

Our Famous Karaoke! • FROZEN DRINKS • SHUFFLE BOARD • POOL TABLES • WATCH YOUR FAVORITE SPORT ON THE BIG SCREENS! • MEET YOUR FRIENDS HERE FOR A GREAT PARTY! • FOOSBALL • PINBALL • CONVENIENT DRIVE-THRU!

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CONTRABAND DAYS FIVE-MILER The Lake Area Runners will host the annual Contraband Days Five-Miler Saturday, May 11, 7:30 am, starting at the Capital One Building. Pre-Packet pickup is at Tri-Running during normal business hours on the Thursday and Friday before the race.

SPIKE AND SPLASH VOLLEYBALL TOURNEY The EVP Beach Volleyball Tour presents the Spike and Splash Volleyball tournament, to take place Friday, May 3 through Sunday, May 5.


CONTRABAND DAYS HAPPENINGS NANCY MELTON AND FRIENDS WATERCOLOR SHOW The Nancy Melton and Friends Spring Watercolor Show will run April 19-May 12, 7 am-10 pm weekdays, on Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings, at Our Lady of Good Counsel Catholic Church Student Center, 221 Aqua Drive in Lake Charles, just off the McNeese campus. The event will help raise funds for a youth mission trip by holding a silent auction of original paintings. All proceeds will be donated for mission trips. For more information, email Nancy Melt at nmelton@suddenlink.net.

TOUR LAFITTE The annual Contraband Days Tour Lafitte bike race will take place May 4. Registration packet pick-up will be at 6 am; the race will start at 7:30 am. Riders will have a choice of five routes (60 miles, 50 miles, 40 miles, 27 miles and 10 miles) with fully stocked breakpoints along the way. For registration forms or more information, visit tourlafitte.com.

information, contact Ship to Shore at 474-0730.

RULES & REGULATIONS The following rules will be enforced during Contraband Days: 1. No open fires, barbecue pits or cooking units of any kind (exception: barbecue contest, May 12) 2. The following items are not to be brought onto festival grounds: • ice chests or beverage coolers • tents, canopies or awnings • pets of any kind • weapons of any kind • bicycles, skates, skateboards, scooters, roller blades (exception: Tour Lafitte participants, May 5) • private golf carts • glass containers • alcoholic beverages (alcoholic beverages will be sold on festival grounds) 3. Anyone consuming alcoholic beverages on the L.C. Civic Center grounds must have a valid state driver’s license, ID or military ID with photo and must be at least 21 years of age. 4. All events take place on the Lake Charles Civic Center grounds, unless otherwise noted. 5. All events are subject to change. 6. All events will take place rain or shine. For more information on these and other festival events, call the Contraband Days office at 436-5508, or visit contrabanddays.com.

CHILDREN’S PIRATE COSTUME CONTEST The Buccaneers of Lake Charles will host a children’s pirate costume contest Saturday, May 11, at the LCCC Amphitheatre. Registration will begin at 10 am, with the contest starting at 11 am. The contest is open to the public. Prizes will be awarded for the top three entrants in each division. Entry is free. For more information, contact Dawn McDonough at 853-3588.

CONTRABAND REGATTA There will be a Contraband Regatta held May 11 at 1305 N. Lakeshore Dr. Registration will be from 89:30 am. Two races will be held; at 10:30 am and 1:30 pm. Registration is $25. For more

Mark Your Calendar Now!!!

$30 Entry Fee*

16TH ANNUAL

CONTRABAND DAYS CAR SHOW Hosted By Stuart Daigle • 337-329-3959

ALL CARS, TRUCKS, MOTORCYCLES AND ATVS ARE WELCOME!

Entry Fee Payable At Registration!

SATURDAY, MAY 11, 2013 ~ GATES OPEN AT 10AM LOCATION WEST CIVIC CENTER BOARDWALK - USE KIRBY STREET ENTRANCE!

Entry forms can be picked up at any O'Reilly store or visit www.contrabanddays.com May 2, 2013

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ake Charles crowned a historic achievement in welcoming to the stage for the first time a Grammy-award winner and Lake Charles native, Queen Ida, 84, the "First Lady of Zydeco" on April 27 — a day which, by proclamation, is now and forever Queen Ida Day. Queen Ida, who holds such distinctions as having been the first female Zydeco band leader and first recipient of the

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Grammy Award for Best Zydeco and Cajun, was granted ambassadorship of the state by the lieutenant governor on a Louisiana Saturday night at Central School in Lake Charles. The day before her big night, Queen Ida found herself fresh off the stage at the New Orleans Jazz Fest, where she performed for the first time in many years. She was backed by Terrance Simien and The Zydeco Experience.

"We have many traditions in the Creole culture, and one of the greatest traditions is that Creole artists who play the Creole music are not afraid to be artists. They express themselves in their own way and make new music," said Simien before a packed house at the Central School Arts & Humanities Center. "If the music ever stops at some point and it's not connecting with the audience of the day, then the music ... no longer exists. And Queen Ida

taught me that." It took her her whole life to grace a stage in the city of her birth. In the meantime, her life and music took her around the world: Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Japan, Africa, Europe and all over the United States. Queen Ida was welcomed home like some conquering cultural heroine as she graciously and humbly accepted the applause.


Everyone paid homage. Queen Ida received a commendation honoring her musical career by official decree of the board of directors for the Lake Charles Southwest Louisiana Convention & Visitors Bureau. It was her token of appreciation for being an inspiration. James Mayo, vice president of the Calcasieu Parish Police Jury, made the proclamation that the day belonged to Queen Ida. As "Queen Ida Day" was announced, the audience responded with cheers and clapping. Mayor Randy Roach presented the Queen with two proclamations: one from the city of Lake Charles and one from the lieutenant governor. Queen Ida was designated an ambassador of her home state and given the key to Lake Charles. "This key is a key to the heart,” said Roach as he presented it. "It's the key to heart of Southwest Louisiana." The stage at Central School was set for Ida Lee Lewis, who was once an accordionist known as Queen Ida. Time stripped the accordion from her hands, as if it were storing it away in some safe place as she reclaimed her throne and her musical glory. For a short time, she was back in her rightful place in the universe: on stage. Queen Ida welcomed her daughter to the stage, playing the spoons and washboard, as Simien & The Zydeco Experience fired up the music.

didn’t come into being until she was in her forties. Queen Ida was truly born when she performed at the San Francisco Blues Festival in 1975. "It was difficult at first," she told the audience during a question-and-answer session on the stage, "because I had stage fright. When I was first performing, I thought this was a man's world. So that was in the back of my mind when I was performing on stage until finally I said, 'Forget it! This is anybody's world." For Terrance Simien, the first night he saw Queen Ida perform was on NBC's Saturday Night Live in 1985, when Paul "Pee Wee Herman" Reubens was guest host. For many in Lake Charles, the night of April 27, 2013, was the first time. And hopefully, it will not be the last.

It took her her whole life to grace a stage in the city of her birth. In the meantime, her life and music took her around the world: Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Japan, Africa, Europe and all over the United States. "It feels good, doesn't it?" she asked the audience after her first number. " I used to tell the people when I would go to Europe, or places that have never heard this music, that you don't have to know what we're saying. Just enjoy the rhythm." With Zydeco music, some part of the body has to move. Queen Ida said that at her age, it's still easy for her to move her feet. With Simien grinding out Queen Ida's jubilee of Zydeco, it was hard not to notice that the event marked the first time that two Grammy Award winners from Lake Charles were on stage together for the first time. It was a momentous occasion in Lake Charles' musical history. Ida shared some of her personal history and earliest memories of Lake Charles, recalling how her school teachers used disciplinary measures to deter her use of the French language, her native tongue. Born in 1929 in Lake Charles, Queen Ida Lewis learned to play the accordion and piano at a very early age. The family moved her to Beaumont and then ultimately to San Francisco, where she felt comfortable in a diverse culture where many knew English as a second language. For half her life, Queen Ida wasn’t the Queen. It's hard to imagine her as a bus driver, living in San Francisco or being a homemaker. The persona of Queen Ida May 2, 2013

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After “Parking” His Tax Swap Package, Jindal Finds His Budget May Be Stalled BY JEREMY ALFORD

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ver the past several weeks, conservative lawmakers on the House Appropriations Committee have been asking if — not when — the budget will be passed during the ongoing session, which adjourns June 6. Recently, a few have looked farther down the road in case there’s a head-on collision. “There’s more talk in the hallways about coming back for a special session on the budget than anything else,” says Rep. Brett Geymann, R-Lake Charles, chairman of the Budget Reform Coalition and a founding “fiscal hawk.” It wouldn’t be unprecedented. In 2000, as former Gov. Mike Foster was getting into his second term, the budget bill stalled in conference committee, where key House and Senate members are supposed to hammer out differences. A special session ensued. At the time, Jindal had just been pulled back into state government by Foster as the youngest-ever president of the University of Louisiana System. He turned 29 just three days after the Legislature adjourned without a budget. Now 41 and approaching the midpoint of his own second term, Jindal’s use of nearly $500 million in one-time money to underwrite higher education has both Democrats and Republicans uneasy. That most of the

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non-recurring money is linked to contingencies such as legal settlements, fund transfers, land sales and privatization contracts — none of which are guaranteed to come through — only makes matters worse. “It’s reached a different level,” says House Democratic Caucus Chairman John Bel Edwards of Amite. “There are scores of members here who are Republicans and Democrats who are concerned about the same things, perhaps for slightly different reasons, but there is a broad area of agreement.” The numbers on the House Appropriations Committee appear stacked against Jindal — more than ever before. But that may have less to do with money for the operating budget than with the lack of funding available in the capital outlay program, which the administration can use to place construction projects in lawmakers’ districts. The borrowing cap is $500 million away from being breached, which isn’t much, says Sen. J.P. Morrell, D-New Orleans. That means arm-twisting will prove difficult for Jindal, who’s already suffering from sagging poll numbers and poor showings on the national presidential circuit. “It’s taken away Jindal’s sway,” Morrell says. If the administration manages to move

the budget out of the Appropriations Committee, it will be due to a crafty amendment that hadn’t been introduced as of deadline. As rumored, it would back out the one-time money from the budget during committee debate to temporarily remove objections from lawmakers. Geymann says the administration will probably put the money back into the budget somewhere along the process to keep it in balance. “No one wants a bogus amendment just to move the budget forward,” he said. “That’s ridiculous.” One senator, on hearing the news, says it’s an easy fix once and if the bill makes it to the opposite chamber. “We’ll do it,” the lawmaker adds. The amendment is needed to avoid the triggering of the Geymann Rule, named for its author, on the House floor. The rule requires a two-thirds vote from the Lower Chamber just to debate a budget if it surpasses the allowable limit of one-time money. Jindal’s budget does. “We’re in real jeopardy of being at a stalemate,” Geymann says — that is, unless the planned amendment does the trick. Allowing for political miracles and keeping in mind the sheer power of the office of governor, if the budget does hobble over to the Senate, Morrell predicts it will arrive during the session’s final days. Moreover, if it goes all the way and Jindal vetoes the

compromises reached by the Legislature, Morrell says the political will is strong enough to hold an override session. “I could see that coming into play,” says Morrell, a member of the Revenue and Fiscal Affairs Committee. At the end of the second week of the regular session, Geymann and Morrell were among the panelists invited to speak at the annual conference of the Public Affairs Research Council (PAR). As they laid out the possible scenarios, they were grimfaced. They explained how Jindal’s highly touted tax-swap plan, which he pulled from consideration on the first day of session, shrouded the budget. On the surface, many lawmakers aren’t particularly offended by Jindal’s use of one-time money and contingencies. If the state faces fiscal exigencies, using such temporary or “bridge” funding can be acceptable — depending on the circumstances — even for some conservatives. The problem is that reliance on one-time funds and contingencies, along with midyear budget cuts rendered after lawmakers go home, have become staples of Jindal’s budget process, dating back to his first days in office. If it’s ever going to end, this could be the year it all comes to a head. “I think we’re on the verge of history here,” says Geymann.


lake area

people

Webb Named FNB Market President First National Bank (FNB) of Louisiana — a local community bank with locations in Lake Charles, Sulphur, Crowley and Lafayette — recently named 30-year banking veteran Greg Webb its market president of Southwest Louisiana. Prior to joining FNB, Webb served seven years as Capital One’s Southwest Louisiana market president. A Lake Charles native, Webb began his career with Calcasieu Marine National Bank, which was later acquired by Hibernia National Bank and, ultimately, Capital One Bank. He has decades of experience in serving customers and business owners. Webb, a Louisiana Tech graduate was named 2009 Southwest Louisiana Chamber of Commerce Volunteer of the Year. He’s served on the Profit and Loss Association’s board of directors for the past decade.

Gawlik Earns SLC Honors McNeese freshman Klaudia Gawlik was recently named the Southland Conference women’s tennis player of the year and freshman of the year. Gawlik, a native of Nowy Sacz, Poland, ended the regular season with a perfect 21-0 record. She is also the

Webb

Churchman

Southland’s no. 1 singles champion, with an 8-0 conference record, and was also named to the first team. She is the second player in Southland Conference history to earn both awards in the same year. Gawlik is the first McNeese tennis player, male or female, to win both honors, and is the fourth McNeese tennis player to win the no. 1 singles title.

Manuel Promoted At Healthy Image Shonda Manuel has recently been promoted to associate creative director at Healthy Image. A graphic designer with 12 years of experience, Manuel joined Healthy Image two years ago. She earned a bachelor’s in visual arts from McNeese State University, and worked as a graphic designer with several area businesses, including L’Auberge Casino Resort, O’Carroll Group, Grand Casino Coushatta, and the Lake Charles/Southwest Louisiana Convention and Visitors Bureau. She has won numerous awards for graphic design and photography.

Churchman Receives Award Dr. James Richard Churchman, DDS, recently received the Rotary Club’s highest

CARLETON DESTROYS LSU 5K RECORD A 28-year-old LSU school record fell on the Hilmer Lodge Stadium track in Walnut, California on Friday, April 19. When LSU senior (and St. Louis Catholic alum) Laura Carleton finished the invitational elite 5,000-meter race at the 55thannual Mt. Sac Relays in 15 minutes, 44.41 seconds, she cracked the Top 10 of the NCAA rankings in the women’s event for the 2013 outdoor season. Carleton took down Muffy McLeod’s school 5k record of 16:18.89 that stood for 28 years after McLeod became the fastest Lady Tiger at the distance during the 1985 season. Carleton finished in 13th place overall in a field featuring many of the nation’s elite collegiate and professional runners. She also finished in sixth place among collegiate runners in the invitational elite race. With her performance, Carleton takes over the No. 1 ranking in the Southeastern Conference as she looks to complete the sweep of conference titles outdoors as the 2013 SEC Indoor Champion at 5,000 meters. She is also the No. 8-ranked 5,000-meter runner in the NCAA for 2013 with her school-record run on April 20. In addition, her time on April 20 ranks 19th nationally over the past four years. individual service award for exemplary service within and beyond District 6200. He is the second Rotarian in the district to receive the recognition. Churchman was nominated for the award by two past Rotary International presidents.

Churchman joined the Greater Lake Charles Rotary Club in 1984. He has served as the District 6200 governor, local and district foundation chair, and club president. He has been recognized twice by the GLC club as Rotarian of the Year.

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Wrath Ceasar LaBauve, Medium: Linocut

MSU SENIOR EXHIBIT The McNeese Department of Visual Arts will host the Spring Senior Exhibition April 25-May 16 in the Abercrombie Gallery, located in room 125 in the Shearman Fine Arts Center. A public reception for the graduating seniors featured in the exhibit will be held Thursday, April 25, 6-8 pm, in Abercrombie. Participating seniors include Karlee Broussard, Lake Charles; Kathleen Chene, Westlake; Illya Cotten, Lake Charles; Aleshia R. Cox, Vinton; David D. Doucet, Lake Charles; Jessica A. Falke, Pitkin; Ceasar LaBauve, Lake Charles; Emily M. Lewis, Lake Charles; Hunter Loupe, Lake Charles; Nikole A. Madigan, DeRidder; Nicholas K. Marnich, Lake Charles; Kelli C. McDaniel, Lake Charles; John Metoyer, Lake Charles; Brooke A. Patin, Vinton; Misti L. Perkins, Sulphur; Adrienne D. Romero, Sulphur; William D. Stout, Ragley; and Alex K. Warnken, Lake Charles. The Abercrombie Gallery is open Monday through Friday, 9 am-4 pm. For more information, call the McNeese Visual Arts Department at 475-5060.

ACTS TO STAGE ‘SEUSSICAL’ Tickets are now available for Artists Civic Theatre and Studio’s upcoming production of Seussical the Musical. Performances are scheduled for May 10-12 and 1-19. Seussical the Musical is a whimsical mash-up of several beloved Dr. Seuss tales. The show debuted on Broadway in 2000 and was written by Steven Flaherty and Lynn Ahrens, who, along with Eric Idle of Monty Python fame, conceived the musical based on the works of Dr. Seuss. Reserved seating tickets are $25 for adults and $10 for youths younger than 18 and students with school issued ID. Tickets are available at Lakeshore Medic Pharmacy, Moss Bluff Florist and Gift, Lake Charles Civic Center, or by calling 433-ACTS. For more information, visit actstheatre.com.

TOUR DU ROUGE BIKE EVENT The fifth annual Tour du Rouge cycling adventure will take place May 5-10, and will include a pit stop in Sulphur on May 6. More than 100 cyclists will leave Houston for a 533-mile ride to New Orleans to raise awareness and money for American Red Cross services along the Gulf Coast. The event benefits seven Red Cross chapters, which provide support for communities in need. Volunteers will be needed Monday-Tuesday, May 6-7, to ensure a successful event and showcase southern hospitality during the Sulphur pit stop. There will be a variety of duties needed in the hospitality area, from set-up to serving refreshments to cheering on the participants. Volunteer times will be available in increments of 3-4 hours to allow for a steady stream of at least a dozen volunteers at any given time. To sign up to be a volunteer, go to visitlakecharles.org/volunteer. For more information, to visitlakecharles.org/tourdurouge.

CVB SEEKS RECIPES The Southwest Louisiana Convention & Visitors bureau is seeking recipes from local residents. The recipes will be included in a “virtual cookbook” on the Bureau’s Web site (visitlakecharles.org). To submit your recipe, go to visitlakecharles.org/yum. When you see the headline “TASTEBUDS ON TOUR,” scroll down under the headline until you see the link that reads “Click Here To Submit Your Recipes.” Click the link, then fill out the form and type out your recipe. The form provides a few pointers for how to write the recipe. 60

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LCLT TO STAGE ‘HOT L BALTIMORE’ The Lake Charles Little Theatre will stage Hot L Baltimore at 813 Enterprise Blvd. Performances are scheduled for 7:30 pm May 3, 4, 10 and 11; and 2 pm May 5 and 12. Admission is $20 for adults, $15 for seniors, and $10 for students with ID. Season memberships are available for $75 for adults and $60 for seniors. For more information, call 433-7988.

TOP 20 RESTAURANTS Lake Area residents can vote for the Southwest Louisiana Convention & Visitors Bureau’s Top 20 Restaurant list through May 12.To vote, search for “Visit Lake Charles” on Facebook. This will take you to the page of the Convention and Visitors Bureau. Then click on the “Top 20 Voting” icon near the top of the page. Your ballot will appear. Just fill it out and vote for your favorite restaurants. Residents can vote for their Top 3 favorites. The restaurants with the most votes will be listed on SWLA’s Top 20 and featured on the Bureau’s Web site at visitlakecharles.org.

LC BALLET SPRING PERFORMANCE The Lake Charles Civic Ballet will present its spring performance Sunday, May 19, 3 pm, at the Rosa Hart Theatre. Students of Lady Leah Lafargue School of the Dance will perform ballet, tap and jazz. Among the featured pieces will be L’Academie du Monsieur Dubriovsky, New York in June, and Monkeysines.

SHANGRI LA ADVENTURE SERIES Shangri La Botanical Gardens and Nature Center in Orange will continue its Spring Saturday Adventure Series through May 18. These hands-on programs give visitors an opportunity to explore the natural world through informative lessons and activities presented by Shangri La educators. Programs begin at 9:30 am and last about an hour. The following programs are scheduled for May: • May 4: Secrets of the Trees. This family program will teach participants how to distinguish one tree from another, about the internal processes of trees that are native to this area, and about the environmental needs of trees and how they grow. • May 11: Caffeinated Plants. Participants will explore the caffeinated plants that grow in Shangri La. The program will include a scavenger hunt that will teach participants about coffee-alternatives. Participants will walk about one mile during this informative, outdoor program. • May 18: Flying Dinosaurs. In this hands-on family program, attendees will dig in the mud and search the air for ancient dragonflies, delve into the life cycle of dragonflies, and explore their habitats, which include Shangri La’s gardens. Attendance is free with paid admission to Shangri La. Participants are asked to meet at the admissions window at the scheduled event time. An RSVP is required, as space is limited. For more information or to reserve a space, call 409-670-9799. Located at 2111 West Park Ave in Orange, Shangri La is open to the public Tuesday-Saturday, 9 am-5 pm. For more information, visit www.shangrilagardens.org. Admission is free.

MAY BANNERS EVENTS Lynn Trefzger will perform on Friday, May 3, 7:30 pm, at the Rosa Hart Theatre. Trefzger is a ventriloquist and comedian. Audiences are treated to Lynn’s vocal illusion talents when they meet a drunken and lovable camel, a grumpy old man, and a feisty little girl; and may even see some other audience members who are brought up for the action. Her off-the-wall audience interplay makes every show different. The McNeese Jazz Festival will feature Wycliffe Gordon Saturday, May 4, 7:30 pm, at the F.G. Bulber Auditorium at Mcneese. A trombonist and composer, Wycliffe Gordon was handpicked right out of college to join the original Wynton Marsalis Septet. He’s been making a name for himself ever since. General admission is $20 for adults, $5 for children 18 and younger, and free for Mcneese and Sowela students with ID. All online ticket sales are for pickup at will-call at the event. For more information, visit banners.org.


Kyle Hebert

COX COUNSELING CENTER BENEFIT Friends of Shannon Cox are hosting the Derby for Dollars fundraiser for Family and Youth’s Shannon Cox Counseling Center Saturday, May 4, 2 pm, at The Stables of Le Bocage. The event will include food from the Lake Area’s finest restaurants, spirits, couchon de lait, live music by Andrew Bateman, televised Kentucky Derby action, an equestrian jumping exhibition, and contests for the best ladies’ hat and gent’s best derby duds. The Shannon Cox Counseling Center provides counseling, consultation and education to benefit individuals and families in Southwest Louisiana. Tickets are $75, and only 200 are available. For tickets, visit fyca.org or call Roxanne at 436-9533. Ginny Henning, Jane Baggett, and Candis Carr are pictured at left modeling Kentucky Derby hats.

CARE HELP LIFE SKILLS CLASS Care Help of Sulphur will hold a free life skills class on basic hand sewing and fabric repairs May 8, 1011 am, in the assistance waiting room at 200 N. Huntington St. April Nunally will teach basic skills such as threading a sewing needle, making a running stitch, performing the back stick, fixing a seam, fixing a button hole, sewing on a button and tying off the thread. The class is open to all regardless of income. For more information, “friend” Care Help on Facebook, or visit care-help.org.

LA SOCCER ASSOC. STATE CUP The Louisiana Soccer Assoc. State Cup will begin May 4, recurring daily, at Ward 3 Power Centre Complex, located at 3210 Power Centre Pkwy. in Lake Charles. Games start at 8 am. For more info, contact Charles Stewart at Charles.stewart@cscsoccer club.org.

HUMAN RESOURCES CONFERENCE ICHRMA’s 20th annual Human Resources Conference will take place May 10, 8 am-5 pm, at L’Auberge du Lac at 777 Ave Lauberge. Admission is $100-125. For more information, contact Christina Joyce Wilson at 721-3520 or ichrma@yahoo.com.

CITY OF REFUGE JAMBALAYA COOK-OFF A Jambalaya Cook-off will be hosted by the City of Sulphur and Business Health Partners on Friday, May 3 at the Business Health Partners parking lot at 299B Cities Service Highway in Sulphur. Team set-up will begin at 8 am, with judging starting at 11:30 and serving beginning at noon. A lunch is $10 per person. There will be a raffle and a vote for crowd favorite. Prizes will be given to first, second and third place winners. All proceeds will benefit the City of Refuge, which is a homeless veteran’s home. May 2, 2013

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JAZZ WORKSHOP

A BLACK TIE AFFAIR Tickets are now on sale for A Black Tie Affair, the annual fundraiser of the Calcasieu Medical Society Foundation. The event will take place Saturday, May 11, 6 pm, at at L’Auberge Casino Resort. The Motown-themed event will feature a dinner performance by local vocalist Lauren David Dunn. Attendees will have the opportunity to bid on trips, artwork, fine dining and other packages at the silent auction. Following dinner, The Tip Tops will provide live music. Proceeds from the event benefit the Calcasieu Community Clinic, which serves more than 2,000 patients in the community and provides hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical services and pharmaceuticals to underinsured citizens in the Lake Area. For more information, to purchase tickets or to become a sponsor, call 4783780 or visit ablacktieaffair.org. Pictured above, from front to back, left to right are Cyrena Hight, Calcasieu Medical Society Foundation, Kayla Rigney, director of the Calcasieu Community Clinic, Linda Wronosky, Dorothy McDaniel and Dr. Yoko Broussard, Calcasieu Medical Society Foundation, go over final plans for A Black Tie Affair. L’Auberge Room Chef Robert Phillips is on hand to showcase the meal planned for the event.

CALCASIEU DEM. DISCUSSION SERIES The Calcasieu Parish Democrats will host a free panel discussion series, In Search of Dialogue, throughout the remainder of the year. The first portion of the series, to take place May 2-July 11, concerns immigration in SWLA. All discussions will take place at 6:30-7:30 pm at Stellar Beans, 319 Broad St. The first discussion will take place Thursday, May 2. Panelists will include attorneys Dahlia Mathis and Beth Zilbert, both specialists in immigration law; and Quang D. Nguyen, senior patrol agent with the U.S. Border Patrol. Part two of the Immigration series will take place Thursday, June 4. The discussion, “In Their Own Words,” will feature the testimonies of local immigrants and immigrant families. Immigration in SWLA concludes on Thursday, July 11, with “New Legislation and Policy.” The discussion will feature a panel of elected officials or their representatives. Other topics to be explored in later discussions include gun policy and health care coverage. For more info, visit caldpec.org

EPPS LIBRARY READING The Calcasieu Parish Public Library will host an appearance by New York Times Best-selling Author Eric Jerome Dickey Thursday, May 2, 6-8 pm, at Epps Memorial Library, 1320 N. Simmons St. in Lake Charles. Dickey will introduce his new book, Decadence, and will sign copies for those in attendance. Copies of his book will also be available for purchase at the program. Dickey has been nominated several times for the NAACP’s Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work. He won awards for Best Contemporary Fiction and Male Author of the Year at the 2006 African American Literary Award Show. In 2008, he was nominated for Storyteller of the Year at the first annual ESSENCE Literary Awards. His books have held high positions on various bestsellers lists, including The New York Times, USA Today and ESSENCE. The program is free and open to the public. For more information, contact Epps Memorial Library at 721-7090, or visit calcasieulibrary.org.

STARKS MAYHAW FESTIVAL The Starks Mayhaw Festival will take place Thursday-Saturday, May 16-18. The event will include carnival rides, a bike parade, a queen’s pageant, a talent show, food and craft booths, a mayhaw jelly contest, jelly making demonstrations, an auction, and live entertainment by Glen Berry, Alaina LeLeux, Arlene Comeaux, Tracey Craft, Trey Smith, Jimmy Foster, Kortney Broussard, Norma Hopkins, Mark Reeves and Twisted X, Clayton Rougeou and the Wild West Band, and more. Hot biscuits with mayhaw jelly and fresh churned butter will be served Saturday morning. For more information, call 337-743-6297. 62

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Jazz In The Arts will host a youth summer jazz workshop May 29-June 2 at Central School. The workshop, led by Jay Ecker and Rick Condit, will be a hands-on performance clinic for aspiring middle and high school jazz musicians. The workshop will emphasize practical playing experience through a variety of classes, clinics and performance activities for the jazz musician. All participants will be placed in performance ensembles that stress a combination of reading music, improvising and collaborative music-making. Participants will leave the program with a greater understanding of harmony, melody and jazz styles. Students will have the opportunity to participate in two public jazz concerts with the workshop faculty. Applications are available online at jazzinthearts.org or artsandhumanitiesswla.org, or by calling Pat and Chester Daigle at 794-5744.

SAFE SITTER CLASSES West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital will hold two Safe Sitter babysitting classes this summer for girls and boys ages 11-13. Classes are scheduled for Tuesday, June 11, and Thursday, July 18. The class is a medically accurate program that teaches young adolescents how to handle emergencies when caring for younger children. During the course, students will get hands-on practice in basic life-saving techniques, and will also get tips on understanding children of different ages, and the business aspects of babysitting. Cost is $35. Interested students are encouraged to sign up early, due to limited class size. To register, call 527-4361.

MDA LOCK-UP FUNDRAISER The Muscular Dystrophy Association will hold its Strike Out ALS lock-up fundraiser Thursday, May 9, 11 am-3 pm, at Coyote Blues. Community leaders will be brought to “jail” and will be required to raise $1,200 in “bail money” in order to get out of jail. The funds will be used to benefit local residents and families living with neuromuscular diseases such as Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and other forms of Muscular Dystrophy, Spinal Muscular Atrophy, and ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease). To register to be locked up, visit mdalockup.org/CoyoteBlues. For more information, call the MDA office at 234-0088.

DERIDDER CONCERT SERIES The City of DeRidder will continue its Downtown at Sundown concert series with a performance by Grabow Riot on May 2, 5:30-7 pm, at the Amerisafe Pavilion. On May 9, Beauregard’s Courtesy will perform at the same time and place. The event will include free food, and drinks will be available for $1. Downtown merchants and the art gallery will have extended hours. For more information, call 337-462-8900.

WCH HEALTHY WOMAN EVENT Women and Children’s Hospital will host its next Healthy Woman event Saturday, May 11, 10 am-2 pm, at the Lake Charles Country Club, located at 3350 Country Club Road. The theme for the event is “Healthy Woman Derby Party — Heels, Hats and Horses.” Women are encouraged to wear their best hats and heels. Author and cooking expert Liz Edmunds, aka The Food Nanny, will give tips and recipes for quick, easy and healthy meals. An expo featuring Healthy Woman partners will take place from 10 am-noon on the front lawn and in the main foyer of the Country Club. Attendees can enjoy mint juleps, mimosas and light hors d’oeuvres during the expo. The program and lunch will begin at noon. Door prizes will follow the program, and participants will have an opportunity to purchase The Food Nanny’s book and have it autographed. Tickets are $20. Registration ends May 4. To register, visit women-childrens.com/healthywoman, or call the Healthy Woman coordinator at 475-4064.

ST. LOUIS ALUMNI SOFTBALL TOURNEY St. Louis Catholic High School will host an alumni softball tournament Saturday, June 8, at the Enos Derbonne Sports Complex on Lake Street. Information on team formation and tournament rules can be found on the school website at slchs.org. Info is also available by contacting Geneva Breaux, alumni director, at 436-7275, ext. 244, or gbreaux@slchs.org.


THURSDAY, MAY 2 Coushatta Cypress Dharma Open mic w DJ Choke Deezy Isle of Capri Brad Brinkley & Comfort Zone L’Auberge Jack After Dark DJ Sno Luna Live TBA

THURSDAY, MAY 9 Coushatta Leroy Thomas & Zydeco Roadrunners Dharma Open mic w DJ Choke Deezy Isle of Capri Park Avenue L’Auberge Jack After Dark DJ Mata Luna Live Gabriel’s Last Breath

karaoke Annie's 9pm Friday; Saturday Bourbonz 8pm Tuesdays Chicageaux Bar 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Club 90 8pm Saturday Coolers Thursday Crickets 8:30pm Friday DeQuincy VFW 7-11pm Friday; 6-10pm Sunday

FRIDAY, MAY 3 Cigar Club Paul Gonsoulin Coushatta Broadband Cowboys Club 7 Radio Delta Downs Reluctant Saints Dharma The Ramblin’ Boys, We Are Wombat, Thee Andys Isle of Capri Johnny Guinn & Rue Louisiane L’Auberge Robert Frith wDJ Eric Scott Luna Live TBA Yesterdays The Molly Ringwalds

FRIDAY, MAY 10 Cigar Club Second Nature Coushatta No Idea Delta Downs BB & Company Dharma DJ Show w Herban Cat, Danny SPB Brown, Dubl Trubl Isle of Capri Herbie Stutes & The Grand Shins L’Auberge Granger Smith w DJ Eric Scott Yesterdays Leroy Thomas & Zydeco Roadrunners

Dirty Rice Saloon 7pm Thursday Frosty Factory 9pm Thurs thru Sat Handlebars Club Tuesdays & Thursdays Huddle Up Thursdays Isle Of Capri 8pm-Midnight Wednesday Kaw-Ligas Tuesday thru Saturday Mike's Place 8pm-until M,W,F Linda's Lounge 8:30-11:30 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday; 9-1 Saturday Neighborhood Bar 7pm Thursday No Name Lounge 8-Mid Friday, 7-11pm Sunday Old Town Tavern Fri/Sat Nights

SATURDAY, MAY 4 Cigar Club Wayne Dylan Coushatta Broadband Delta Downs Reluctant Saints Dharma Foxy & The Highhats Isle of Capri Da Classics L'Auberge Jack After Dark DJ Sno Luna Live Spoonfed Tribe Yesterdays Todd O’Neill Band

SATURDAY, MAY 11 Cigar Club Street Side Jazz Coushatta No Idea Delta Downs BB & Company Dharma Dolo Jazz Suite Houston Edition we AF The Naysayer Isle of Capri Bandit L’Auberge Jack After Dark DJ Mata Yesterdays Joel Martin Project

R-Bar 8pm Friday Sam's Cove 9pm Thursday Shorty's Ice House 9pm Friday Slim's Yesteryears 9pm Thursday Spot Bar & Grill Fridays Sports Pitt 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Sulphur VFW 9pm-Mid Saturday Tiki Bar 8pm Friday Texas Longhorn Club 9pm Thursdays, 1am Fridays Fax listings to 433-8964 or edit@thelanyap.com

U-Save Car & Truck Rental 3431 5th Ave • Lake Charles

479-1333 2002 GMC ENVOY

2006 CHEVY COBALT

$7,500 CASH

$7,500 CASH

2004 FORD EXPLORER

2010 HYUNDAI SONATA

$7,300 CASH

$11,400 CASH

We Offer "Rent To Own" For Select Vehicles May 2, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

63


REEL TALK

duane bergeron

Oblivion Though he’s had major success with action films over the years, Tom Cruise has not had much luck with science fiction films. He partnered with Steven Spielberg for the horrible War of the Worlds remake (2005) and the somewhat better Minority Report (2002), neither of which did well from a box office perspective. Now, Cruise has found his longawaited science fiction breakthrough in Oblivion. In the year 2077, the human race is recovering from a major attack by an alien race known as the Scavengers. Though humans won the war, the planet was devastated horribly. A group of technicians such as Jack Harper (Cruise) maintain the defense drones that protect the humans still on Earth. (The others have fled to the moon of Titan.) Harper also keeps a watch on the devices that absorb seawater, which is purified and brought to Titan. Harper goes through the daily motions of maintaining the machinery, with the help of his supervisor and lover Victoria (Andrea Riseborough). While on a routine maintenance patrol one day, Harper discovers the remains of a spaceship that crashed. Within the wreckage is a woman who is in a stasis pod. After Harper revives her, she identifies herself

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Universal Pictures, Rated PG-13

as Julia (Olga Kurylenko). Harper finds himself at odds with the survivor because she triggers long-buried memories in him. As Harper attempts to get Julia back to headquarters, he is ambushed by a group of refugees hiding in a large underground structure. The leader, Malcolm Beach (Morgan Freeman), informs Harper that his life and situation is not what it appears to be. After they are released by the refugee group, Harper and Julia set out to solve the mystery.

But they discover that doing so can get them killed. Oblivion may contain some elements seen in other science fiction pictures, but it manages to carve a niche of its own. And that is a good thing, considering science fiction productions have poured out of Hollywood like a waterfall since Star Wars back in 1977. Cruise’s character is more multidimensional here than in his last release, Jack Reacher. His supporting cast balances out his presence in the film rather

nicely. The gritty effects shots are on an even keel with the plot and story; there is no style-over-substance problem in this feature. It’s a nice change of pace. The story and effects create a state of confusion, leaving the viewer to determine for himself what exactly is happening on the screen. That kind of plot gimmick makes an audience think. Coming up next issue, the 2013 summer movie season. The lineup promises to have some surprises.


MOUNTED MEMORIES

rocke "soybean" fournet

The Cajun Mambo They don’t call Louisiana the Sportsman’s Paradise for nothing. It is truly a paradise if you are into hunting and fishing. Southwest Louisiana in the spring is not the place and time to be caught wishing you were fishing. The water is warming as spring sets in, providing a great opportunity to spend some quality time on the water. Ray Stehm recently had a bad case of cabin fever, but knew just how to cure it. He and his best friend Judy loaded up the fishing equipment and set sail. They landed near the Civic Center on beautiful Lake Charles for a lazy afternoon of bank fishing. Ray was equipped with the biggest, baddest whole shrimp he could find, and life was good. Ray’s timing couldn’t have been better — he was fishing right before a thunderstorm moved in. The barometric pressure was moving, and the fish were active. Ray warmed up with a variety of black drum, sheephead and small catfish, and then, suddenly, things got serious. The light tap, indicative of a big fish bite, put Ray on point. He set the hook hard, and a giant fish headed south, peeling drag on the way. Ray was spooled up with a 17-lb. test line that was up to the task. He set his drag just right, and let the big fish eat. Ray was just enjoying the dance as the big fish took the lead. He dutifully followed

It's Time For The

Harry Burt with the trout of the day, topping nine pounds.

the fish up and down the bank as onlookers respectfully cleared out of the way. What was amazing was the nimble footwork that Ray displayed as the fish maneuvered him around. These were quality moves worthy of Dancing with the Stars status. Locally, this dance is known as the Cajun Mambo. After an exhausting fight, the monster 30-lb. drum rolled over. The big fish didn’t even come close to being able to fit in the landing net. Ray finally beached his fish, and took off his dancing shoes. One of the witnesses to this fishing

spectacle had a hungry eye on Ray’s big drum. Ray and Judy had fish in the freezer, so why not share the wealth? It had been a great trip, and sharing the fish was a fitting end. A very happy spectator couldn’t wipe away the smile as he lugged away the giant drum, where it would eventually find its rightful place on his dinner table. No waste, no want. As for Ray and Judy — no boat, no problem! Big speckled trout have been lighting it up lately. Harry Burt and crew have been all over big specks from 3 to 9 pounds. The

Ray Stehm with his Dancing with the Stars partner, a thirty pound red drum.

old adage of big bait, big fish holds true, with the biggest shrimp scoring the biggest trout. Harry recently topped off a super day with several fighting machines, better known as redfish, and, for dessert, flounder. It just doesn’t get much better. This is the essence of the c’est bon life in Louisiana. As I write this, a late April cool front has just pushed through, with lows in the 50s and a brisk north wind. Be happy, go fishing!

LUNKERS If you catch and release come by and see our life-like creative poses on reproductive mounts.

433-7981 • 2719 KIRKMAN STREET May 2, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

65


SARRO ON SPORTS

rick sarro

Reality TV The NFL’s annual April soap opera may not have had red carpet stars, but what the college draft lacked in high profile names, it easily made up for with drama and unpredictability. There were no Andrew Luck or RG-3s in this year’s NFL Draft. Heck, there was only one quarterback taken in the first round, and he was the little known but highly thought of E.J. Manuel from Florida State. These same Seminoles sent an equally unflashy Christian Ponder in the first round a couple of seasons ago to Minnesota. The guessing game and camera closeups began with the first two picks. The talking head draftniks from ESPN couldn’t decide whether it was Eric Fisher or Luke Joeckel from Texas A&M going to Kansas City with the overall top pick. More predicted it would be Joeckel, but the vibe was established early when the Chiefs opted for Fisher from Central Michigan. This had to be the first draft ever, and could be the last, in which offensive tackles occupied everyone’s attention with the top two picks. Offensive tackles are a valuable commodity, as they protect the back side and every other body part of those highpaid, face-of-the-team quarterbacks. But two right out of the gate, and the No. 1 not even from the Big House in Michigan? Not even from the guest house of Michigan State? I’ll stop here, because I think you know what might be coming next. I’ve got nothing against offensive tackles. They’re a critical piece in any team’s success and a difficult hole to fill with all pro type talent. Heck, the Saints used a first-round pick on Louisiana Tech’s Willie Roaf many years ago, and he’s now sporting a yellow jacket from the NFL Hall of Fame in Canton. There are more than a few very smart football people who believe you find a big, strong offensive lineman and teach him proper techniques of playing tackle, but by no means do you use the No. 1 or 2 pick overall on the position. Sean Payton found a free agent left tackle in Jermon Bushrod from little Towson State and made him into a Pro Bowl player. That was the uniqueness and head

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Mingo to Cleveland

scratching tone of this year’s draft. A bevy of big bodies, a draft light on star quarterbacks and running backs, and a slew of nifty safeties and defensive backs. It was practical, with a huge buffet for those who had to draft for need and numbers, but not very sexy for television. America sees the jubilation and commissioner bear hugs that go with the first round announcements, but there’s the other side of the emotional coin that’s flipped when a player’s name isn’t called when expected. The TV cameras had the heartache and disappointment on display back in 2005 when then California quarterback Aaron Rogers was the last man in the green room and had to wait to the 24th pick before Green Bay found their eventual franchise leader. That draft day slight has since turned into a Super Bowl title, All Pro honors and a new five-year, $110-million contract extension with a reported $40 million guaranteed.

New Saint Jenkins

This year’s Mr. Rogers was West Virginia quarterback Geno Smith. He was hyped and paraded as a first-round pick and tabbed to be the first QB taken. He wasn’t. When Smith didn’t go inside the first 10 picks, that was OK, because the quarterback-starved New York Jets still had a selection. When that slot came and went, and then 10 more selections, and still no Smith, it got really uncomfortable. The ESPN close-ups were coming way too often, capturing Smith’s puppy dog looks and obvious helplessness. Thank goodness for I-Phones and touch screens, as they gave Smith something to do and look down upon with every TV iso shot. You not only saw his despair, but sensed his vulnerability. I felt bad for the young man, and muttered toward the TV that he should just leave the building. He hung in there, though, through 32 picks, and came back Friday night when Smith was finally drafted with the 7th selection of the second round by, yes, those same New York Jets.

“It felt like forever in there,” said a much happier Smith. When it came to NFL reality TV, there was no bigger star than former Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o. Ever since the tabloid story broke earlier this year about the online girlfriend whom he never met; who supposedly died but didn’t; who was not actually a girl, but really a guy with a high voice; who fell in love with Te’o, who at some point knew it was a hoax, but didn’t set the record straight with the media or Notre Dame; Manti has been in the crosshairs of late night comedians, sports talk show hosts and NFL general managers. The Te’o story was a salacious soap opera in real life, and it was played out to a lesser degree over two nights of the draft. Te’o has faced the criticism and questions with various national interviews and TV shows. Despite the controversy, his lousy performance in the loss to Alabama in the BCS title game and a lackluster showing at the NFL combine, he was still labeled a mid- to late- first round pick. Manti, a native of Hawaii, was right there with Smith in the waiting room, waiting for his name to be called. He too had to come back for a second night before being drafted 38th overall by the San Diego Chargers.


Ironically, Te’o is headed to San Diego, where he will undoubtedly face comparisons with another linebacker of Hawaiian descent — that being former Chargers All Pro Junior Seau. Sadly, real life and depression caught up with Seau a few months ago when he committed suicide. As I expected, there were a lot of deals and trades in the early going. There were three moves in the first nine picks to be exact, as teams moved up and down depending on need. The first pick that really registered on the “really, are you kidding?” scale was Buffalo’s pick of the Florida State quarterback with the 14th spot. That one got a double take from me. The Bills always seem to be in need of a quarterback, but this may be a first round reach. The next made-for-TV story line hit closer to home in the third round when Arizona pushed aside all the troubles and scandals and decided the Honey Badger would look good in Cardinal red. Former LSU star defensive back Tyrann Mathieu will join his one-time mentor and former Tigers teammate in Cardinals safety Patrick Peterson. We went from Te’o’s “All My Children” to the Honey Badger’s “Law and Order.” Mathieu’s story of being an undersized Heisman Trophy finalist and his abrupt fall from grace at LSU is well known. The story includes his dismissal from the Tigers prior to the start of last season, his in and out visit to McNeese, his equally speedy in and out time in a Houston drug rehab center, and then his embarrassing arrest for marijuana possession in Baton Rouge.

It wasn’t just one thing, but the rapid fire accumulation of his off-the-field issues, that seemed to push Mathieu off many teams’ draft boards. He went from being a surefire draft pick (despite his smallish stature as a defensive back) to possibly having to go the free agent route. The Honey Badger can thank the NFL combine for his football resurrection of sorts. An impressive 40 time, eye-popping agility drills and mending of NFL fences put Mathieu back on the draft map. New Cardinals coach Bruce Arians will entrust Mathieu’s development on and off the field to Peterson, who never saw a line he couldn’t walk straight. Arizona is now LSU-West with Peterson; and now Mathieu is with former Tigers linebacker Kevin Minter, who was selected in the second round. Two other LSU defensive stars went in the first round, with KeKe Mingo going 6th overall to Cleveland and safety Eric Reid taken 18th in the first round by the NFC Champion 49ers. McNeese was shut out of this year’s draft, but two former Cowboys did sign free agent deals. Offensive tackle Alec Savoie signed with the Atlanta Falcons, while cornerback Seth Thomas is headed to the Washington Redskins. Besides the expected coverage and commentary on Sean Payton’s return to New Orleans, the Saints had another fundamentally strong draft with little to no fanfare. The team’s needs and goals were obvious: address the defense with new, young talent and get bigger. Payton painfully watched last year’s defense surrender an NFL single season

Former Saint hero Gleason

record 7,042 yards of offense. There were games when a flicker of light could be seen in the defensive abyss, but then came another 480-yard defensive debacle. As I noted a few weeks ago, Payton’s biggest off-season move was the signing of new defensive coordinator Rob Ryan, who was let go by the Dallas Cowboys. The Saints’ next big defensive shakeup was the switch to the 3-4 scheme favored by Ryan. Chess move No. 3 was the 1st round selection of Texas safety Kenny Vaccaro, a versatile, hard-hitting safety who will most assuredly push veteran Roman Harper for the starting position. Defensive upgrade No. 4 was the acquisition of Georgia nose tackle John Jenkins in the 3rd round. Payton had to let go of a player he “valued” in order to secure that 3rd round spot to nab Jenkins. The Saints had been talking for weeks with the New York Jets about a player-for-draftpick deal involving running back Chris Ivory.

With the clock ticking, GM Mickey Loomis pulled the trigger and sent the popular Ivory to the Jets for a 4th round pick. He then bundled that 4th round pick with their own 4th round spot to Miami for the 82nd selection, which they used to grab the 6-foot, 4-inch, 346-pound Jenkins. The trade isn’t without critics, as many, including yours truly, felt Ivory was a more productive and bigger play running back than former first rounder Mark Ingram. Payton says he weighed the “depth at running back” against the greater good of the team and extreme needs of the defense. Once that was put on the blackboard in the Saints’ draft war room in Metarie, the deal was a go. The draft proceedings couldn’t have gotten more real life when former Saints special teams star Steve Gleason appeared on the New York stage in a wheelchair, still battling ALS. Gleason, who has lost all muscle movement and his ability to speak, used a computer voice to announce the Saints 3rd round pick of offensive tackle Terron Armstead from little known Arkansas-Pine Bluff. Gleason, the man who helped usher the Saints back from Katrina oblivion and back to the SuperDome with his now famous blocked punt against the Falcons, was the last of the tearful, emotional moments that made up this unspectacular but special draft event. The league honored military service men and women, a young cancer patient from St. Jude’s Hospital and the first responders and victims of the recent bombings at the Boston Marathon. It was life and death. Heroes and sadness. It was reality TV worth watching.

BASEBALL HEADQUARTERS Southwest Louisiana's First Choice is Athlete's Corner!

All The Equipment You Need For A Winning Season!

 Pants, Belts & Socks  Batting Gloves  Large Selection of Baseball & Softball Cleats  Hi-Tech Bats by Easton, DeMarini, Worth and Louisville Slugger  Large Selection of Baseball & Softball Gloves by Rawlings, Nokona, Wilson and Mizuno  Team Discounts on equipment, uniforms and screen printing for T-Ballers on up!

1737 W. SALE ROAD • 479-1920 May 2, 2013

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LEGEND

LANDSCAPES Licensed & Insured

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help wanted NOW HIRING! HELP WANTEDSALES AGENTS needed for new company! 50% commission. Call or e-mail Mrs. Travis Perkins for details at 866-6916499 ext. 902 or travislperkins@ gmail.com k0816 _________________

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GREAT DEALS ON WHEELS 2001 Mitsu Galant loaded, like new.......$2595 2001 Saturn L200 loaded, 70k miles ......$3595 1998 Buick Regal extra nice clean.........$3595 1997 Ford Escort 4 door, loaded ...........$1995 1997 Buick LeSabre V6, super clean ...$2595 1996 Lincoln Town Car loaded, nice ..$1995 2002 Dodge Caravan loaded, 3rd row..$2595 2001 Chevy Tahoe loaded, nice ............$2995 2001 Honda Passport SUV, loaded.....$2595 2000 Ford Ranger ext cab, auto ............$2995 1999 Chevy Silverado ext cab.............$3595 1995 Chevy Silverado ext cab.............$2595 1993 Ford F150 ext cab, clean................$1995

1997 MUSTANG V6 CUSTOM PAINT! Loaded, automatic, from California! $5000 negotiable. 337-515-6945 _________________

PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

help wanted

help wanted

BARTENDER NEEDED! Apply in person between 11am and 6pm. Previous experience required. Must be personable and easy going. No phone inquiries. 1700 E. Prien Lake Road, Suite 5, Lake Charles.

PARTIN JEWELRY REPAIR 34 Years Experience Jewelry Repair & Custom Jewelry Work

QUICK SERVICE All work is done in store by me Located inside Bodin Jewelers 3133 Ernest Street (East of JCPenney) OPEN: Tues, Wed, Fri, Sat.

436-6535

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439-8899 • Oil changes, tire rotations, 15k service, belts, hoses, coolant service, power steering flush,brake flush, light engine repair, tune ups, check engine light on, air conditioning service, disc and drum brakes. • Engine Performance • Engine Repair • Brakes • Steering And Suspension • Manual Drive Train • Heating And AC • Electrical Repair And Diagnosis • DEQ Emissions Safety Inspections • State Inspections

Info or Estimates: 526.2533 68

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May 2, 2013

NEW TO LAKE CHARLES! "Your Honest Hometown Family Owned Repair Shop" We offer fair labor rates, honest diagnosis and service. We don't just want your business, we want to earn it along with your trust. Complete Automotive Repair and Maintenance on cars and light trucks, with specialization on Domestic. Small or Large Repairs and Service.

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announcements

services

stuff 4 sale

stuff 4 sale

announcements

ELECTRICIAN

GET REULTS

LANDSCAPING

GARAGE SALE

SALVAGE

SEAWARD ELECTRIC, LLC-Licensed, bonded, and insured. "Our prices won't shock you, but our quality will" Call 337249-6443 k0906 _________________

ADVERTISE NOW IN LAGNIAPPE CLASSIFIEDS .. 433-8502 _________________

RESTAURANT LOCATION!

services

DOMESTIC AND COMMERCIAL HELP

Gaspard's Cleaning We do cleaning and run errands, i.e. grocery shopping, doctor's visits. etc. Insured & Bonded

433-2867 302-2949 g0613

services BOAT & RV STORAGE BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

announcements DJ SERVICE N O N - S T O P MUSIQUE- DJ for weddings, birthdays, clubs, reunions. New Year's and Mardi Gras parties, large or small venue. Old/new school, R&B, rap, blues, zydeco, and karaoke, ADJA certified, competitive rates. Call Ron at 337-3091412 k1004

pets DOG GROOMING NOW AVAILABLE AT BARK PARK Two professional groomers are here to serve you. Boarding and day care are also available. Ask about our other wonderful services to pamper your pooch . Located at 4121 Nelson Rd. or call 478-4300 k0816

SHEAR PAWFECTION PET GROOMING 2924 Summer Place Drive, Sulphur, off Houston River Road, call 337-528-5910. Appointment only. "Where All The Pampered Pets Go!"

services CONTRACTORS

services CONTRACTORS HOUSE LEVELING, HOUSE LIFTING. CALL ONE STOP CONSTRUCTION. Sill and truss replacement, foundation repair, general remodeling, etc. References available, free estimates, licensed and insured. All work is warrantied. Call us at 337-309-7301. k0920

services UPHOLSTERY BOAT UPHOLSTERY and top repairs, motorcycles, convertible and more. AAA Glass & Upholstery, 1810 E. Prien Lake Road or CALL 337-564-4125 k0816

services SALES RED & BLEACH STAIN REMOVERS, CARPET DYES, CERAMIC TILE CLEANERS. Powerful truck mounts and portables. We manufacture all. NAMCO. Call Ron or Brian. 1800-634-5816 ph _________________

announcements

J O S E P H ’ S LIMESTONE Limestone or Calbase $160 for 2 tons; $250 for 4 tons; and $350 for 6 tons. Also 4 yards of sand or topsoil for only $125, or 14 tons of bottom ash for $300. Ponds dug and excavation work completed. We do dozer, tractor, and concrete work as well as house pads, culvert installation and even demolition. Best prices, hauling available every single day. Free estimates! Call 437.1143. n0816

announcements RV PARK/LAKE SPRING IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, that means camping season in SWLA! 25 minutes north of Lake Charles, Longville Lake Park110 acre scenic stocked pond with boat launch. Full RV hookups available. Call or come by for your campground reservations! 337-725-3395 7115 Hwy 110 East, Longville, LA. k1220

_________________

HAIR SALON COUNTRY CLUB HAIR - Where a haircut still comes with a lollipop and a smile. Over 25 years in business. Walk-ins welcome. Located on 1214 Country Club Rd. Open Tuesday-Friday 8:30-5:30, Saturdays 8am-2pm. Call 4744722 k0906 _________________

services BOAT & RV STORAGE BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

services A/C & HEATING CONTACT ALL SEASONS AIR & HEAT in Lake Charles. We offer sales and service for all makes and models of heaters and air conditioners. Our team of contractors provides residential and commercial heating and cooling services. Call today! 337855-1446 k1220

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PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

FALL LANDSCAPE PACKAGES for every budget! We use state of the art software to show you what your landscape can look like. $100 OFF any new landscape project when you mention Lagniappe! SWLA Lawn and Landscape Licensed, Bonded, Insured 337-625-5625 K1018

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services ELECTRONIC E X C A L I B U R INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY SYSTEMS - "If it's electronic, I can fix it"Excellent service at an exceptional cost. Full on-site services for all your technology needs! Excalibur ITS.com or call Ivan at 337-912-1490 k1220 _________________

stuff 4 sale TRAILERS

Trailers Aluminum, Steel, Horse, Stock Motorcycle, Cargo, Gooseneck, Bumper, Lowboy, Equipment

GARAGE SALE! Saturday, March 16th from 7am-2pm Appliances, Baby items, books, mens & womens clothing/accessories, scrapbook items, shoes, miscellaneous 2703 Bank St. Lake Charles

OVERKILL SALVAGE "If it's sunk, we can get it up!"

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VERY HIGH TRAFFIC LOCATION ON HWY 171 IN MOSS BLUFF! Adjacent to Bronco Stop. Full kitchen, dining area, tables, drink machines & more. Call Wali today and open your dream restaurant! 337-244-4423 gp _________________

services ELECTRONIC E X C A L I B U R INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY Systems-"If it's electronic, I can fix it"Excellent service at an exceptional cost. Full on-site services for all your technology needs! Excalibur ITS.com or call Ivan at 337-912-1490 k1220

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services LAWN & GARDEN S&S LAWN CARE for your mowing and trimming needs call David at 337-884-0342 or 337-588-4000 k0517 _________________

services FENCING FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

services HOME REPAIR ALL TYPES OF ROOFING, siding, mobile home skirting, licensed and bonded. Call Jimmy today at 337-499-7807. ph _________________

Mark Pedersen Equipment Co. 337-436-2497 an

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Southwest SW Manufactured HOMES & RV'S Housing, Inc. NEW • USED • REPOS • SALES & SERVICE

LAND/HOME PACKAGES

ZERO DOWN TO QUALIFIED BUYERS Corner of Hwy 90 and Hwy 171

www.swhomeslc.com 436-5593

services LAWN & GARDEN HINTON AND MOSS LAWN SERVICELicensed, bonded, and insured. Residential and commercial. Free estimates, call 337515-5255 k1004 _________________

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Demolition, Crane Work, Debris Hauling. Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881

PERSONAL TRAINING Erick FranklinHead Trainer at The Gym. Offering customized workout plans for Jr. High to College aged athletes looking to improve. Strength & Conditioning, Wide Receiver Training, Agility & Conditioning classes available, including many more! AFFORDABLE RATES. 337-660-5717

g0502-2012

k0816

services

stuff 4 sale

LAWN SERVICE S & S Lawn Service ~ For mowing and trimming, and all your lawn and garden needs; both commercial and residential. We are licensed and insured, and welcome free estimates. For a yard your neighbors will envy, call David at 884.0342 or 588.4000 k1018 _________________

WOW! 2004 HARLEY DAVIDSON SOFTAIL FATBOY 9000 miles, garage kept, lots of custom and chrome, only $8500. CALL 337302-0016 _________________

Start an Exciting Career in Emergency Communications Entry Level $24,900 year w/benefits Apply at 911 Hodges Street, 2nd floor. Equal Opportunity Employer May 2, 2013

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services

announcements

MISC. SERVICES

HAIR SALON

Sell that Junk Car for Cash! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed. Call now at 526.9533. k1018

NEW! CUSTOM Your friends will be talking about it for years to come ...

MAGICIAN HARRY JOSEPH Interactive magician Harry Joseph will perform a variety of magical entertainment for your Birthday Party, Special Event and Church Actvities. Professional and lots of fun!

713-540-3938 harryjoseph@gmail.com

CABINET SHOP Custom Countertops Affordable Pricing Professional Custom Woodwork Entire Lake Charles Area

302-6903 PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

COUNTRY CLUB HAIR - Where a haircut still comes with a lollipop and a smile. Over 25 years in business. Walk-ins welcome. Located on 1214 Country Club Rd. Open Tuesday-Friday 8:30-5:30, Saturdays 8am-2pm. Call 4744722 k0816 _________________

3 ACRES ELEVATED LAND

DOWN ON THE BAYOU

RARE COINS Gold & Silver Coins Currency Mint & Proof Sets All Coins Graded w/Photograde I BUY COLLECTIONS

GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD $37,500 PER ACRE OR MAKE OFFER

KEMBLE GUILLORY CALL 802-5402

SOUTH LAKE CHARLES 478-2386 884-2386

PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

services FENCING FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881 g0502-2012

real estate MOBILE HOMES

services PLUMBING RAPHAEL BENOIT CUSTOM HOME BUILDERS - Home improvements, Remodeling & Additions. New Home Construction. Serving SWLA since 1993. Call Raphael Benoit at 337-802-6522 k0816 _________________

MOBILE HOME TO BE MOVED. 3/2, BO over $8,000. Camper for rent. All bills paid. 2 acre lot south of Lake Charles. 477-6243 or 564-5859 gpnmr _________________ PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY class@thelanyap.com _________________

PAPER HEROES Buying U.S. Coins & Currency

Gold, Silver, Coins & Sets

MAGIC THE GATHERING TOURNAMENTS HELD WEEKLY

services CONSTRUCTION

BOUCHER & SON'S CONSTRUCTION ~ YOU’VE FOUND THE RIGHT COMPANY! Give us call for all your construction, carpentry, painting, and damage repairs. Licensed, Bonded, and Insured. Member of the Better Business Bureau. Give Tom a call at 337-474-2844 (office) or 337-842-1455 (cell) AND SEE HOW AFFORDABLE UPGRADING YOUR HOME CAN BE! 474.2844. k0313 _________________

real estate CORPORATE LEASE Approx 3500 sf, 4BR, 3 BA, minutes from beach, L'Auberge and boat launch. Fully furnished, turnkey, large patio, bbq pit, fenced yard, $2750 per month. 713-829-2974, ask for Ron Wiggins.

478-2143 3941 Ryan Street, Lake Charles

ph

_________________

Larry A. Roach, Inc. A PROFESSIONAL LAW CORPORATION

Accidents • Wrongful Death Serious Personal Injury Criminal, Domestic Law Cases

k1220

Laundry W rld Larry A. Roach (1932-2003) Barry A. Roach • Larry A. Roach, Jr. Fred C. "Bubba" LeBleu • David M. Hudson

2917 Ryan St. • Lake Charles (337) 433-8504 • Fax (337) 433-3196 70

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Do Your Laundry in 4 Minutes! 2 minutes to drop off 2 minutes to pick up 4319 Common St. • 474-8748 2501 Hwy 14 • 433-7503

Professional Wash, Dry, Fold/Hang Service Dry Cleaning Available PUT US TO WORK FOR YOU TODAY!

announcements WE WILL BUY! SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed.Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

services AUTO REPAIR

YOUR SOURCE LAWN & GARDEN TIRES 477-9850 478-6565 527-6355 "People you trust, products you depend on"


services KNOX FENCE

PERSONAL TRAINING Erick FranklinHead Trainer at The Gym. Offering customized workout plans for Jr. High to College aged athletes looking to improve. Strength & Conditioning, Wide Receiver Training, Agility & Conditioning classes available, including many more! AFFORDABLE RATES. 337-660-5717

FLIGHT TRAINING! VISION AVIATION, LLC; LICENSED INSTRUCTOR(S). Fly to new heights with our one of a kind “Discovery Flight” to see the sights for only $65! Makes a unique and adventurous gift. Gift Certificates available now. Call and reserve your fun at 478.7722. k2013apr

Don’t blend in, make your home stand out with a customized fence. Choose your own design or one of ours. We also do chainlink, ornamental, aluminum and iron fencing. Can install electric or solar gate operators. Call for a free estimate. Licensed and insured, 20+ years of experience. Ask for Steve at 337.540.6973 k0621

JUNK CARS SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

classified FULL-TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED for well-established company. Paid training, $500 sign on bonus, paid weekly. Call Josh @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@satcountry.com

PLACE YOUR AD HERE! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

services DOORS

FINANCING AVAILABLE!

WHY PAY MORE FOR DOORS 800 instock Doors Windows & More. 489-4313 csta15 _________________

2002 1999 2004 2004 2005

Cash for Junk Cars Need Extra Cash? WE ARE NOW BUYING CARS • TRUCKS VANS • ATV’S • MOTORCYCLES

services BOAT & RV STORAGE BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

CHEVY SUBURBAN Pewter, 3rd row, runs great, financing available! GMC YUKON Silver, come see it, financing available, call Luke Papania 302-2912 OLDS ALERO Silver, 97k, runs great, come drive it! PONTIAC GRAND AM Pewter, 101k, come drive it today! SUZUKI FOREANZA Silver, 124k, great gas saver, come drive it today!

These & more quality vehicles... Call Luke Papania today at 302-2912! 803 E. McNeese • 337-562-9211

Also Motor Homes, Trailers and Farm Equipment. Not running? You can still make $400 and up! Get your yard cleaned up while deciding how you’ll spend your extra money!

CALL 526-9533

classified k0621

HWY 90 CONSIGNMENT STORAGE Cars • Trucks • Boats • RV's Mobile Homes • Vans Safe and Secure Storage forThose Big Items in Your Way! CONSIGNMENT: Your items can be put up for consignment to make that extra money when you decide you no longer need storage for you item. Good prices, and large customer base to purchase any items you store with us.

Call now and make some room OR some cash for your items: 337.526.2533

FULL TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED for well-established company. Paid Training, $500 sign on bonus, paid weekly. Call Josh @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@satcountry.com May 2, 2013

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HOUSE LEVELING

classified

LIFTING AND MOVING GUARANTEED 2-YEAR WARRANTY FOR ALL LABOR AND MATERIALS! Foundation Repair • Concrete Slab Stabilization Licensed, Bonded and Insured • References

CALL ONE STOP www.onestophouseleveling.com

337-309-7301

LEGEND LANDSCAPES Licensed & Insured For ALL your landscaping needs!

Call 337-499-4664 announcements

real estate

DINING OUT

MOBILE HOMES

SHOP A-LOT DELI NOW SERVING OYSTERS! Drive-Thru Daiquiri Window Longer Dining Hours M-F 10AM-6PM SAT 10AM-4PM

2707 HAZEL 433-2135

MOBILE HOME TO BE MOVED. 3/2, BO over $8,000. Camper for rent. All bills paid. 2 acre lot south of Lake Charles. 477-6243 or 564-5859 gpnmr _________________

services SALES NEED PART-TIME, NEAT, AGGRESSIVE SALESPERSON. Draw plus commission, plus gas. Flexible working hours. Call today 1-800-6345816, ask for Ron Wiggins. ph _________________

THE

TRANSMISSION SHOP We work on all transmissions!

5817 Common Street Lake Charles 337-540-3795 337-540-6908 C. Scot LaFargue Owner

announcements RESTAURANT LOCATION! VERY HIGH TRAFFIC LOCATION ON HWY 171 IN MOSS BLUFF! Adjacent to Bronco Stop. Full kitchen, dining area, tables, drink machines & more. Call Wali today and open your dream restaurant! 337-244-4423 gp _________________

classified

Call Samantha @ Rhino Real Estate

337-304-6686 337-433-9434 Our Address: 1027 Enterprise Lake Charles, LA 70601 1010 Enterprise Blvd.-$179,000 3 bed/2 bath. Wood floors, fireplaces, sits on four lots. Great commercial potential with plenty of parking, updated electrical and plumbing. 2 New Lots For Sale-Drive by 709 16th Street for the low price of $9,000 or see the Dovick Rd. lot with more space, only $19,000. Charming Home In Sulphur-$55,000. 3 bed/1 bath located on close to a full acre. Go by and have a look at this ideal family home at 1301 Sherwood, call for appointment viewing. 738 Kirkman St.-4 bed/3.5 bath around 3500 sq. feet, Bonus 1000 sq. feet on 3rd floor ready to finish out. Features FOUR fireplaces! Wood floors, updated kitchen and baths, pocket doors, walk-in closets, new paint, electrical and plumbing for $269,500. 759 Louisiana Ave-House with 4 apartments which bring in $1600 income sitting on an acre downtown. House has lots of potential, negotiable $249,900. OWNER FINANCING AVAILABLE. 2203 Walker St. Westlake. 3/2 1650 living, 2 big living areas. New paint throughout, new carpet in bedrooms and wood vinyl in living areas. $145,000 115 Orchard 2/2 1750 living, 1/2 acre in the middle of town. 2 car garage, crown molding, ceramic throughout. Everything remodeled! This one will go FAST, A MUST SEE! $164,500

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cinco

de

mayo

fiesta!

Friday and Saturday May 3 & 4, 2013 8:00pm to Midnight Sit at your favorite slot machine or table and you could walk away with $300 in CASH! Winners will be randomly selected so make sure you’re ready.

Sunday, May 5, 2013 Registration & Tournament: 10:00am – 2:00pm Top prize is $5,000 in cash and $5,000 in FanPlay™ for a total of $10,000! Top 20 places will receive a prize. Space is limited, so get here early. Registration and tournament will take place on the first floor of the casino.

To celebrate Cinco de Mayo, enjoy a complimentary Coronita® on the casino floor, May 5. Plus, enjoy Free live entertainment Wednesdays through Saturdays in Caribbean Cove. Ladies drink for free in Caribbean Cove every Wednesday.

connect with us

I-10, Exit 27 Lake Charles, LA • 1-800-THE-ISLE (843-4753) www.isleofcapricasinos.com © 2013 Isle of Capri Casinos, Inc. Coronita is a registered trademark of Modelo. All promotions subject to change without notice. Must be 21 or older. FanPlay is a registered trademark of Isle of Capri Casinos, Inc. Disregard if prohibited from visiting Louisiana casinos. Compulsive or problem gambling? Call 1-877-770-STOP(7867).


Grand Design  

Lagniappe Magazine - Volume 31, Number 9

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