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(Without Manipulation)

ASKIA H. BASHIR

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CURRICULUM GUIDE • TEACHER’S EDITION

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR PARENTS


Askia H. Bashir

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR PARENTS (Without Manipulation)/Teacher’s Edition

Copyright 2013, by Askia H. Bashir Published by KYD Publishers Bilalian Productions Incorporation Atlanta, Georgia 30310 Library of Congress Catalog number 95-82178 ISBN 0-9650628-1-3 All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the Publisher

Printed in the United States of America For information on this book, write or call us at Bilalian Productions Incorporation, KYD Publishers, 401 Hillside Drive S. W., Atlanta, Georgia 30310 or contact: www.kydpublishers.com

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgements ........................................................................... Preface ........................................................................................ Notes To The Teacher ....................................................................... How To Manage Your Parents, Resources .................................... Character Education........................................................................... Content Summary .............................................................................. CHAPTER

1

vi vii viii xi xii xiv

The Concept of Upward Management............................................ 1

Corporate Management 5 Principles of Managing Your Parents A Win–Win Outcome

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers .................... 3 CHAPTER

2

Parent and Child ................................................................. 10

Defining Parent and Child Revealing Studies and Trends The Four Strategy Statements A Proactive Way Ways To Improve Rapport

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers .................... 12 CHAPTER

3

In the Beginning

Begin by Forgiving .................................................................. 21

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers .................... 23 CHAPTER

4

Accepting Total Responsibility ......................................................... 26

Stop Blaming Others CHAPTER

5

Communication ...................................................... 29

Sending Your Message General Rules for Listening Some Good Points to Remember Kinetics

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers .................... 31

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Table of Contents (con’t) CHAPTER

6

Managing ................................................................. 42

What is a Manager How to Begin Management Manager’s Role Characteristics of a Good Leader Change Disturbance Signals The Three Phases of Negotiation Overcoming Objections

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers .................... 44 CHAPTER

7

Understanding Your Parents ........................................................... 60

Identifying Behaviors Some Good Advice Parent Classification Ways to Help Your Parents The Three R’s Recognizing and Managing Stress

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers .................... 62 CHAPTER

8

Strategies for Managing.......................................................... 70

Learn From Mistakes Space Asking

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers .................... 71 CHAPTER

9

Personal Development ......................................... 78

Help Self First

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers .................... 80 CHAPTER

10

Goal Setting & Time Management ................................................ 86

How to Set Them, How to Achieve Them The Smart Formula Steps for a Plan of Action Time Management

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers .................... 88 CHAPTER

11

Becoming a Favorite Child ........................................................ 98

Being a Special Child The Polite Advantage Children and Phone Calls

Student Activity Workbook Questions & Answers ....................100

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Table of Contents (con’t)

CHAPTER

12

Maintaining a Good Relationship ................................................116

Know What to Do and How to Do It A Rule to Remember

Summary ..............................................................................................121 Epilogue ...............................................................................................122 Glossary ...............................................................................................123 Index .....................................................................................................128 General Bibliography........................................................................138

v


Acknowledgements

T

his book is the culmination of my learning experiences in working with chil dren through various organizations and programs sponsored by the City of Atlanta, Georgia, as well as my own experience as a parent of nine vibrant and challenging children. But first and foremost is my love and appreciation to my wife Deborah who has worked with me and many organizations and institutions in helping to develop young children both physically and mentally to becoming contributing members of the community. I will forever be indebted to Romulus Dorsey, B.S., Psychology, M.C.P. (Master of City Planning), and Fani Cahill, M.S. (Special Education) for their editorial work and helpful and useful suggestions to the textbook and to the “Curriculum Guide–Teachers Edition.”Many thanks to K. Anoa Munsho, Sonya Wyatt, and Kimberlyn Griffin for their editorial work in the first edition of this book. I am grateful to Abdul Hamid Bin-Asad for leading up this project of the 2nd edition, as well as developing, designing and preparing the “Curriculum Guide–Teacher’s Edition, Student Activity Workbook, Final Examination, and the Teachers Master Final Examination, as well as the Student Assessment forms, and to his wife, Sarah Hafeezah Ansari Bin-Asad for proof-reading all of the copy; John Glenn Omar, M.F.A. (Fine Arts) for the cover and books design, and his daughter Kilima Njaro Afi Glenn for the computer output and color separations of the books cover; James Wilson, M.S. (Math), and his wife Geraldine Wilson, M.S. (Ed., Elem. Ed.) for their useful suggestions and assistance in moving this project forward; Uthman Muhammad, M.A. and his wife, Anisah Muhammad, M.A. for their editorial comments and suggestions; and to Omar Rasheed for the graphics artwork to the 1st edition of this book. I would like to extend my gratitude to the many professional educators and scholars whose comments influenced me to develop this book into a textbook with a “Teacher’s Edition–Curriculum Guide,” for educational purposes. Such distinguished persons include Betty L. Strickland, former Deputy Superintendent, Atlanta Public Schools, Johnnetta B. Cole, President, Spelman College, Dr. Andrew Young, Former U.S. Abmassador, Maynard H. Jackson, former Mayor of Atlanta, Georgia, Dr. Gerald L. Durley, Director and Assistant Professor, Morehouse College, Dr. Alonzo A. Crim, Spelman College, Dr. Na’im Akbar, Ph.D, Clinical Psychologist, Joel S. Boykin, Jr., Economic Development Coordinator, DeKalb County Ed., Ollie I. Manley, Principal, W. L. Parks, Middle School, Atlanta, Georgia, Rebecca F. Adam, Professor, Spelman College, Mysteris H. Brown, Library Media Assistant, D. M. Therrell Comprehensive High School, Atlanta, Georgia, E. Letice Johnson, Ethnic Studies Coordinator, Morrow High School, Morrow, Georgia, Dr. Gloria Bromell-Tinubu, former council member, City of Atlanta, and others to whom we will be forever thankful.

vi


Preface

T

his curriculum guide is intended to provide teachers at the 5th grade level to the 12th grade level with an integrated plan for infusing a character education program into their language arts literacy curriculum. It will help their students develop strong character traits in the art of personal relationships. It is a tool designed to help the student to improve thinking skills and to understand concepts that will give him or her the ability to apply these relationship skills in a practical environment. The examples used throughout the book are based on a knowledge of the subject as well as the personal experiences of the author. As the student learns these lessons and applies them in his or her every day life, they are infused with moral and ethical values that will influence and help them throughout their lives. This interaction with their parents and family members will not only improve relationships with them, but will also impact on their behavior in school, on the job, in sports and in other areas where interaction with others is a part of their lives in a civilized social environment. Americans live in a culturally diverse society, therefore having an understanding of relationship concepts is important. If such concepts are learned at an early age, they can be applied throughout their lives in every area of endeavor where one has to deal with people, whether on the job, at home, in school or wherever interaction with people are involved. When learning the techniques of upward management in a classroom setting, students can apply what they learn when dealing with their parents, family members, relatives, friends and others. In the process of learning such techniques, the students are helped to view concepts and solve many relationship problems that confront them on a daily basis. For years, educators have acknowledged that character education is an important and relevant subject that should be taught in the classroom. By introducing personal relationship concepts in a classroom setting, activities can be used to allow the students to respond more positively when instructions are personalized and actively engaging through discussion of the students life experiences, especially when it come to family members. The principles and concepts learned through discussions of the subject matter and the role playing through practical class exercises will enhance the students capacity to reflect on what has been learned, thus making it a practical part of their relationship in dealing or working with others. This course helps the students develop their vocabularies through a comprehensive treatment that provides them with a knowledge of key terms to bring more understanding to their reading and discussion of character development. There are also skill building lessons that will enable the student to practice a variety of thinking and communication skills needed for resolving relationship problems, thus helping them implement the information learned from reading and class discussion of the text.

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Notes to the Teacher Lesson Plans 4 Step Lesson Plan with Student Activity Workbook Questions and Answers STEP 1, STARTING THE LESSON Identifies the main objective Provides a variety of before reading activities that involves the students in : • Motivation Activity: Activating prior knowledge. • Think About What You Know: Asks summary questions about what the students learned after reading the text. • Study the Vocabulary: Students look up new words and concepts using the text and glossary.

STEP 3, CLOSING THE LESSON Provides answers to textbook questions to check students’ comprehension • Think and Write: Elicits students’ response to what they have learned in an over-all perspective from the text. • Focus Your Reading: Lesson focus questions. • Optional Discussion Questions STEP 4, TESTING STUDENT LEVEL Examination assignments in the Student Activity Workbook Student Activity Workbook questions and answers provided for the teacher in the curriculum guide.

STEP 2, DEVELOPING THE LESSON Read and Think questions from the text to aid student comprehension through: • Reading • Discussing • Thinking

Lesson Plan Summaries The “Lesson Plans” in this curriculum guide should be used in class as much as possible. Using them as a guide will not only get greater student participation, but they will also give the student new ideas when taught from the teacher’s perspective and experience. As stated in the “Introduction,” this is not only a course on how to improve relationships, but it is also a good education in developing one’s character as well as teach good core values that can have a positive effect on the student. In introducing the student to the subject of “managing parents,” the positive and negative effects of manipulation should be explained to them. Manipulation can be used deviously to control or influence others or it can be used in a positive way to motivate or encourage others. These lesson plans should be used to discuss openly in class as much of the text material as possible. Using such a method not only get greater student participation, but it also give students new ideas and ways that will help them in their personal development. Not only will these lessons help the students improve their relations with their parents, family members and others, but they offer a good educational format for developing the students’ character. viii


Strong character traits which are taught throughout the text can be developed by studying these concepts and by applying them in a practical way through interacting with others socially or otherwise. The lessons contained within the text are based on widely accepted core ethical values, which include: truthfulness, trustworthiness, caring, responsibility, patience, respect, fairness, modesty, forgiveness, empathy and sensitivity for others and self-control. Emphasis should be on the “three ways” to communicate ideas (p. 30), and “Becoming Skilled in Communication,” (p. 31). After listing these points, the author spells out the many ways the student can successfully develop the skills of communication effectively.

Chapter 1, “The Concept of Upward Management,” (pp. 1-9), is a subject that every student taking this course should understand if they are to become successful in influencing others in a positive manner. The Concept of Upward Management introduces the student to a method that can be used to manage their parents in a constructive and positive manner. It also teaches the “5 Principles of Managing Your Parents,” (p. 5) and how to go about applying them. Learning and applying these principles will have a strong psychological impact on the student’s way of thinking as they go through this course. The principles and skills learned not only apply to “Upward Management,” but are also useful for “Downward Management,” when used in leadership roles, whether in the military, business, sports, group meetings, etc.

Chapter 6, “Managing.” (pp. 42-59) Once the student knows the role of a manager (p. 44), the process to develop management skills is more likely to be learned. Because a manager has a great deal of responsibility, reference should be made to Chapter 4 (Accepting Total Responsibility, p. 26), and how it relates to becoming effective as a manager. This chapter also deals with the important subject of “change” (pp. 50-53) which brings about an attitudinal way of thinking. Another important skill that is taught in this lesson is the “art of negotiation” (pp. 55-59) which is an invaluable tool for anyone who assumes any form of leadership role in life, whether it is a parent or otherwise.

Chapter 2, “Parent and Child” (pp. 10-20) explains the danger signals that can destroy the relationship between parent and child. It also addresses the negative influences that can affect relationships. “The Four Strategy Statements” that help to develop a proactive attitude and rapport with parents will be focused on in this chapter.

Chapter 7, “Understanding Your Parents (pp. 60-69).” In this lesson, students learn the different approaches parents take in directing the lives of their children. Whether it is autocratic, democratic or laissez-faire (pp. 64, 65), the student can identify which form their parents take in guiding and disciplining them. This lesson also teaches the student how to deal with difficult parents. Perhaps one of the most important lessons learned in this course is the problem of “stress” (pp. 68, 69), and how it can be of a positive nature when understood. Many children do not know how to deal with stress, and when this is so, it sometimes leads them into destructive habits, activities and sometimes suicide.

Chapter 3 & 4, “Begin By Forgiving,” and “Accepting Total Responsibility” (pp. 21-28) are combined and should be studied in conjunction with each other. The process of “forgiving” should be emphasized as well as the social and psychological benefits derived from doing so. In “Accepting Total Responsibility,” the emphasis should be on the term “responsibility,” and the need to be responsible. Chapter 5, “Communication” (pp. 29-41), is a skill that is a necessary tool the student must learn in order to be effective in every aspect of life.

Chapter 8, “Strategies for Managing” (pp. 7077). This section of the lesson teaches the student ix


the importance of being persistent, and being able to motivate self, their parents and others.

Sample Lesson Plan

Chapter 9, “Personal Development” (pp. 7885). This chapter gives the student several ways upon which to make improvements in their personal development, both mentally and physically, with emphasis on the importance of meditation and physical exercise (pp. 78-81). The importance of teaching the student how to maintain a positive state of mind about self is very important if there is to be an attitudinal change. (See p. 80, “As a man thinketh, so is he..., also pp. 81-82).

CHAPTER

2

Parent and Child Objectives

1.

Explain the parent’s role and responsibilities. 2. Give a detailed description of a dependent as a subordinate, relying on someone for help and support. 3. Explain the importance of showing respect for one’s parents

Chapter 10, “Goal Setting and Time Management” (pp. 86-97). The importance of goal setting and time management are explained in this chapter, as well as the specifics . The “SMART” formula which consists of five steps (pp. 88-90) gives the student the necessary tools to go about goal setting. The 10 steps (pp. 88-93) show the student how to achieve those goals. The subject of “Time Management” (pp. 94-97) is a prerequisite to the setting of goals and a necessary tool for conducting one’s life’s affairs.

1

STARTING THE LESSON

Motivation Activity

• Ask students to tell of their experiences

in which they observe their parents unselfishly providing help and assistance to them. • Ask students what impact has social relations with their peer group had as an influence in their way of acting and thinking. • Explain to the students several ways in which they can damage their relationship with their parents. pp. 12, 13 Ans: Hangi ng out and sociali zing with people who are a bad influence and always involved in some kind of trouble. Secretly hiding your activities and friends from your parents whom they do not approve. Drinking alcohol, possessing or using drugs. Having behavioral problems in school. Having

Chapter 11, “Become A Favorite Child” (pp. 98-115). This chapter focuses mainly on ways to do things that can bring about favoritism. One of the important factors is “The Polite Advantage” (p. 104), which is a lost factor among children today. The purpose of being “reliable, credible” and “responsive,” (pp. 106-107) are important lessons. Perhaps one of the most important rules in this lesson is on page 115 which states, “Your Parents Are Always Right.” Chapter 12, “Maintaining A Good Relationship With Parents” (pp. 116-120) is an extension of chapter 11, yet it gives some advice that will help the student in any relationship as stated on page 120, “A Rule To Remember.”

x


“How To Manage Your Parents” Resources

Chapter 1

– The Concept of Upward Management (pp. 1-9)

LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary

Chapter 2 – Parent and Child (pp. 10-20)

LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary

Chapter 3 – Begin by Forgiving (pp. 21-25)

LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary

Chapter 4 – Accepting Total Responsibility (pp. 26-28)

LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary

Chapter 5 – Communication (pp. 29-41)

LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary

Chapter 6 – Managing (pp. 42-59)

LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary

Chapter 7 – Understanding Your Parents (pp. 60-69)

LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary

Chapter 8 – Strategies for Managing (pp. 71-77)

LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary

Chapter 9 – Personal Development (pp. 78-85)

Chapter 10 – Goal Setting & Time Management (pp. 86-97)

LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary

Chapter 11 – Becoming a Favorite Child (pp. 98-115)

Chapter 12 – Maintaining a Good Relationship (pp. 116-120)

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LESSON RESOURCES Curriculum Guide-Lesson Plans Workbook-Teacher’s edition, Textbook & Glossary


Character Education “Shall we just carelessly allow our children to hear any casual tales (movies, rap, MTV, music, violent video games, etc.) which may be devised by casual persons, and to receive into their minds ideas for the most part the very opposite of those which we should wish them to have when they are grown up.” –Plato

Why Teach Character Education?

Importance of Character Education

Character education is much more than just learning ethical concepts. If it is to be effective, it must be put in a practical and useful environment such as the family and in the institutions of learning. It is the application of these concepts in the environments of family and school that it can have the greatest impact on the student. Of course there is no better place to learn these lessons than in the home. Unfortunately, in many homes such lessons are not taught. Since this is the reality, the school is the next best place to learn how to be courteous and respectful to other members of society. The teaching of character education inside an educational environment is a way for the teachers to share with the students stories of ethical dilemmas and the moral dilemmas of others. Through such interaction and discussions with their peers, parents and teachers, the students learn to apply and appreciate the values and obligations put upon them as they grow and develop.

Character education is especially important in this day and time because of the popular culture of movies, music and screen time which attack societal norms of right and wrong. If we fail in matters of character development, the values of the popular culture become the values of the students. And because character development has been lacking in the educational institutions, teen pregnancy, violence, drugs, hate crimes, bullying, gangs and even suicide has almost reached epidemic levels.

The Educational Environment There is no better environment for students to learn and practice such things as core ethical values and proper conduct than in school. Therefore, success of this curriculum depends on the cooperative efforts of the teachers, parents and the community. Once the material of character education is read, analyzed and actualized in practice, the student will develop the ability to identify and utilize the values learned within the classroom, and these values become useful tools throughout the rest of their lives whether at home, school, on the job or wherever they may be.

Purpose of Character Education The purpose of character education is to provide the student with the knowledge and skills that will stimulate or develop the mental and moral development of the student. It is through the educational process that the student receives the information on how to develop the emotional, intellectual, ethical, and moral qualities to become responsible and productive. Character education provides the student with the knowledge to have respect for those things beyond self. It helps the person to decide the best and proper way to live one’s life. It forms the total human being to be able to critically reflect on their life and actions. It raises the student’s consciousness as an individual to have respect for others as well as for their property.

Methodology in Teaching The method and strategies used to teach the students determine how the students respond to what they have learned from the text. For example, in the “Think and Write” sections, the students reflects on what they have read by answering critical questions given to them. Reading makes more sense when students know why they are reading, and especially when their reading has purpose. You can involve students in setting the purpose for their reading or you can provide the reason for reading by providing a question for them to keep in mind. xii


These lessons and strategies are structured on a sound literacy base that is designed to help the student to become a successful reader and writer as they progress in their development as an individual. Thus, it is important to know and understand how the teacher and their students interact with this curriculum, and the kind of impact these lessons have on the lives of the students, as well as on the teacher, both inside and outside of the classroom.

Thinking Skills

are sharpened when students use the pictorial graphic as it is related to the subject

ement

ard Manag

pt of Upw

The Conce

ement. It is ard manag w p u f o t ties across cep d universi ng the con are explori inars, workshops an onment, upward vir sem rporate en taught in e subordi. In the co that encourages th y tr n u co ss the telling the ce ss ro o p b ent is a d of the ea st In . lowed to managem ss al o b ordinate is anage the b m su to e e e. th , at n do to be don e what to hat needs w ss subordinat o b er his or h suggest to ren standring Child and under Empowe is concept with th t rk u o o w l ab ing rocess wil p After read is lling th te e v belie of parents namics, I . Instead ed to ts er w en ing its dy o ar p p r d thei ren are em o. That’s children an what to do, child d n d want to re d an il d ch ee r n thei ey e amazing h th T s t. g u o e thin t is all ab en suggest th agers and em an ag both m ard man at e w p th u is at h ss w ce ns are mad ut this pro ed when suggestio Figure ee thing abo ag (S . an ay m e to be ssive w parents lik and progre a positive in em th to 1.) rn taken g To Lea “Society is Be Willin son, said, er m E o d Ralph Wal ny new ex rise at a rp su .” If se by n se n o comm ample of th a t y o u to ld y o u I si m p ly tionship good rela needed a u would o y , ts paren er give with your ev n agree but ly ab b ro p as to how s thought Figure 1. y fa miany seriou ch a relationship. th parents mwian tions shgipreslain nkin su tiWoor od la o re g f a o g y to develop it in the qual develop m to o t fr h g g u in o g Jud ttle th ren give li ts. lies, child their paren h it w ip relationsh

How To Manage Your Parents (Without Manipulation)

makes it easy to use “Before-Reading Strategies.” •Carefully worded titles and headings provide a sense of the lesson content, prompting students to preview and make predictions. •A variety of highly appealing visuals and captions and thinking skill questions provide a highly motivating way to get all students, particularly reluctant readers, to preview and make predictions. •Think About What You Know questions and Motivation activities help students activate prior knowledge. •Key new vocabulary words are thoroughly developed: identified before each lesson, highlighted in some cases and defined in the Glossary, and assessed in tests.

for more READING STRATEGIES look for •Thinking Critically •Read and Think •Write and Think •Discussion Questions •Review Questions

•Focus Your Reading questions help students establish a reading purpose.

Thinking Skills To get students to think clearly, show them how to organize information. An easy way to do this is the use of the visual graphics in the text as it relates to the subject matter. Students who learn how to use graphic organizers become more aware of their own thinking processes. xiii


Content Summary Chapter 1 The Concept of Upward Management

Chapter 7 Understanding Your Parents

Introduces the students to a method that teaches them how to influence their parents in a positive and constructive way.

Focus is on how to deal with difficult parents and how to deal with the problem of stress.

Chapter 2 Parent and Child

Chapter 8 Strategies for Managing

Increases the students’ understanding of the negative and positive aspects that can improve or destroy relationships.

Encourages the student to be persistent and to be a motivator of self and others.

Chapter 3 Begin by Forgiving

Chapter 9 Personal Development

Deepens the students understanding of the process of forgiveness and its psychological benefits.

Shows students how to make improvements in their personal development, both physically and mentally.

Chapter 4 Accepting total Responsibility

Chapter 10 Goal Setting and Time Management

Encourages the student to become responsible and proactive rather than being passive when it comes to taking on new or old tasks.

Student learn the specifics of how to set goals and to manage their time using a formula and 10 steps on how to achieve their goals.

Chapter 5 Communication

Chapter 11 Become A Favorite Child

Stresses 3 ways to communicate and how to develop the skills of an effective communicator.

Focuses on ways to bring about favoritism by being polite, reliable, credible and responsive.

Chapter 6 Managing

Chapter 12 Maintaining A Good Relationahip

Focus the students’ attention on responsibility in order to become effective as a manager.

A summary of the previous chapters, giving the students’ advice that will help them in all relationships.

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CURRICULUM GUIDE Teacher’s Edition

Prepared by Abdul Hamid Bin-Asad

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Curriculum guide frt mat pp i xvi  
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