Get Self Help… Is It At All Really Helpful?
Get Self Help… Is It At All Really Helpful? Essentially… What are you taking on? Today there is a plethora of advice on how to “grow and personally transform your life”. You know what I mean, the “think positive”, or just “make steps to change your life”, do “one thing in your life that you love”, “ do this, do that”, is the baseline of how the get self help movement sells in mantras.
Here is another perspective which is often totally overlooked by the get self help movement. What about actually “not doing”, and actually “undoing” your life? This takes more courage. It means not covering up anymore, or trying to fill the empty nagging feeling that keeps plaguing you. Know what I mean? The essence of this comes down to this. First we must see what we are actually doing, what we really aren’t, before we can even begin to rebuild our lives more organically. Otherwise all this “doing” will just put another layer on top of your “confusion” and the story of your life continues. No wonder we get more lost. Then we wonder how to fix it. Then in comes into your email box another “self help group think opinion” on how to change your life. Bingo! Back into the loop of doing and actually creating more of the lostness that you are actually trying to “fix”.Do you know what you need to be your guide?You need to listen to yourself. Not someone else. This is the first essential realisation we all need connect with. That inside of you is your own guidance and wisdom, your own 24/7 inner compass that is there in support of you, the real you. However are you willing, let go of the outside; and come in and listen. This is the undoing, the not covering up with more stuff. This will simplify you, not complicate and create a more confused you. What is possible is that when we first listen, from within that space arises the flow of energy that naturally and organically inspires you to move and enter into new phases in your life. Connecting you to more of what is truly authentic for you, rather than what you “self help group think” you should “do”.
Whenever the thought “I should”, or “I have to”, “I must” arises I guarantee you this is your mind, taking you on another detour. The old patterns arising, scrambling desperately for more control in the hope that it fixes your reality into to more of what you think you want. However you must ask, “Is what you want really who you are?” What we want is often very distorted based mostly on what you have been told is “good”. Basically you are living an idea of life, not actual life itself as it truly arises in every moment. As this moment is all there ever is. You are either here and with what is and who you are in the moment, or you are not. If you are not here then you are on automatic pilot and not aware to your life. Just going through the motions as you have been told to. Perhaps it is time to wake up. What self help group think are you taking on? Who are giving your power and authority to? If you believe an other knows you better, then you need to reassess. Here is Alan Watts talking on the pitfalls of success we are programmed to believe in:
You are the closest intimate confidant to you. Others may be able to guide you however in the end you are the one who truly knows if what is shared by another, connects for you in that moment or not. If you try to make the shoe fit, then it will not work. What may have worked for someone else may not work for you. Trying to be someone else will not work either. You are you. So be aware that your own intrinsic sense will be your guide as to what you truly flow with. It is not about trying, it is about being honest enough to discover the real authenticity of your experience in each moment. Totally available to whatever is arising, not your idea of what should be there. There is a huge difference. One you choose, the other is choice-less. It just is, a no-brainer, you are with the moment, and when really with the moment, your life is seen with such clarity that you see there is no choice. The river of life just takes you… Most of what we want is created by more of our ideas, than what is actually real to our true nature. First we must let go, to see we are actually holding on to is no longer who we actually are. So what are you taking on, more stuff, more ideas, more doing, is it working yet? If not then maybe the real doing for your self right now is the undoing, and just being finally honest with yourself. Right down to experiencing your confusion, fears, insecurities, and seeing right through what you are trying to avoid, and what you don’t want to feel or be with. When we really see within our own self you will discover what is actually already there. There is nothing to work out. You just discover who you really are. Where your authentic energy is already flowing. No choice is necessary. From there its just about allowing. Not doing. Essentially this makes life a lot simpler. No hard work necessary. It is that easy. Doesn’t that make everything else that we take on seem like a redundant process? You do not need more.
You need less. Most of what we take on in life is actually to be discarded, this is the real awakening. Don’t wear yourself out trying to work yourself out. It is the long and hard path and very profitable for others mind you, who make money off of the cultural addiction to “helping you find yourself” by taking you through layer upon layer of things to do. Exhausting, more confusion, only to collapse again back to your default. Still lost and basically disconnected from who you really are, which by the way is never fixed. You are always changing, there is no end, you will never be able to say “there, that’s it, I’m done”. The whole notion that there is an end to work towards is a myth. Again, take that on and you are surely to be experiencing disappointment eventually. The journey of life itself if the experience we are having here and now. If you are willing to live it as simply and honestly and openly as possible you are then able to appreciate your “life” and experience it without holding judgement in turn allowing happiness. Happiness is the absence of holding. No holding, no problem. So are you chasing your tail, running around trying to find yourself in doing more stuff? If you are enjoying yourself then great. This is a sign that it is working for you right now. However if you feel you are losing your direction and starting to get a sense of “what is going on here?”, “this is getting too much”. Then take heart, you are ready to let go and flow to a whole other reality. It will come to you. The good news is there is no more hard work required. Just a willingness to be your true self. Be you, really, speak, walk, move, touch, eat, interact, as you really are. It is an experiment. Do it as honestly as possible and you may be surprised what really comes out. Take your time, first as you may see that you do not know, aha… good, then you realise that you haven’t been you, that’s a good place to start. Eventually you won’t even be able to find a “you” as there really isn’t one except for the one you created for yourself. In the undoing, you let go and eventually you just are… Life without a story, taking nothing, really is bliss. You are not you, just space, flowing, experiencing, free. Freedom is the absence of any resistance… that includes you. It is totally fine to let go, even though your mind will tell you otherwise. Why? Because you were told to “do”. Ask yourself the deepest question around doing, “Why am I doing what I am doing?” 99% will be contrived as a result of what you think is right. Thinking is not the essence, take a step deeper, the undoing will allow you expand beyond what you can imagine… It is much more fun. Quote
“And as you take the jump the first experience is that you are disappearing. The last experience is that you have become the whole” - Osho – inspired by Bodhidharma – Zen Master Are you reading this offline? click here to visit my site for more great articles
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Published on Jul 13, 2012
Published on Jul 13, 2012
Get Self Help… Is It At All Really Helpful? What about actually “not doing”, and actually “undoing” your life? This takes more courage. It m...