This publication is intended for people that had encounters regarding people with unskilled superiority complex. The philosophy is that the mentioned cases are based from what I have experienced and how to handle the given ordeals. I know some of you might have better solutions but then again it is how I was able to handle it. I am not really a psychology major but I cited some notable psychological disorders to strengthen the facts and for you readers to be aware if in case you have gone through the same case. This publication is written in a nutshell to keep it short and simple. Just so you know, Iâ€™m still residing as a student and to state the reason of why I wrote this is because for us people to be aware of this kinds of attitude towards ourselves and others. Tendency is we become too stereotype which misleads us to false understandings. Hopefully, my publication will give light to some instances to handling people and to give them more patience.
The Professional Beginner: How Your Ego is Eating You Alive
Probably, you have experienced being with people that thinks they’re so superior in what they do but the truth is their unskilled. In fact, rubbing it in makes it go into their head. We know people that keeps on saying that he/she is good at a certain thing but when you ask something about it, that person can’t answer it. It’s the uncontrollable ego that makes it happen. We know it’s quite annoying if they keep on selling themselves with no proof. It just turns out that their good in making up stories and brag for the rest of their life.
Let’s admit it. We’ve all been through this phase of our lives especially during our childhood days when we rock as a gamer. It comes to a point that due to our happiness and the motive to impress our listeners, we tend to make up stories that will keep you dominant from the discussion. This makes a big psychological impact to your personality if you tend to do this quite often. The more people will tolerate it, the more it boosts your ego and it’s quite hard to revert your pride again. I’ll be showing some instances on how we tend to feel this prideful feeling.
1.) Lack of control On discussions that you tend to know well, if a person makes a mistake, you automatically correct them in a boastful manner. In fact, you never let them finish their statements. You just interrupt right in the middle of the topic and tell some stuff that the people actually don’t care about. Sometimes you even make irrelevant statements that doesn’t even have to do with the topic in which, the purpose was to brag rather than to tell the story. It’s fine to correct their mistakes but say it in a nice way that you don’t rub the mistakes into the person. Calm down. Don’t get too pushed by yourself.
Psychological study involved: Obsessive-compulsive Personality Disorder - a chronic non-adaptive pattern of extreme perfectionism, preoccupation with neatness and detail, and a need for control or power over one’s environment that causes major suffering and stress, especially in areas of personal relationships. – Wikipedia
How to deal with it: Simple, learn to control your ego. Don’t let yourself get overly-hyped that you brag stuffs that are non-sense. Also, if someone is talking, try letting him/her finish expressing themselves before you say something.
2.) Lack of attention It’s nice to be the center of attraction but sometimes it comes to the point where we want people to recognize all the things that we do in which showing-off has become your new hobby. We tend to post some stuffs in Facebook like “I just won first place in <insert competition here>” or “I’m here at <insert a good place here> and having an awesome time!” but in fact, nobody cares. Being an attention-seeker can be really unhealthy especially if you go out with a group of stereotypes.
Psychological study involved:
Histrionic Personality Disorder – a People with HPD have a high need for attention, make loud and inappropriate appearances, exaggerate their behaviors and emotions, and crave stimulation – Wikipedia
How to deal with it: First of all, try not to show-off to everyone. There are some things that you don’t need to say to everyone. Your Facebook account is not your LinkedIn account, in a sense that you don’t need to showcase every single skillsets you have to your friends because Facebook is not your professional social networking site considering a lot of people are posting more about their life that their work.
Secondly, you’re not the only one who seeks attention. Give them a chance to express themselves but if they tend to cross the line, try telling it to them. An open talk would usually solve the problem. It’s better to prevent things from happening worse rather than resolving it. Similar to the first problem, control yourself. It’s you who can only control you not your ego.
3.) Self-Dominance and Self-Proclaimed Enthusiasm Sometimes we tend to be prideful. So prideful that we forgot that there are people that are better than us. I’ve been seeing people proclaiming that they are good in this/that, knows how to this/that, when in fact they cannot prove themselves on what they are saying. They cannot even eat their own words. You just studied a certain topic for a short while then you call yourself an automatically an expert? When in fact professionals even studied the field in years before they were even called a professional then an ego-dominated person claims that he/she is good by just simply reading the tutorial. I’ve been seeing a lot people with this kind of personality and they tend to have this kind of logic:
“I am a computer science student, therefore I’m a software engineer” “I have a MacBook, therefore I’m an apple developer” “I read about programming, therefore I’m good at it” “I use the internet, therefore I know all about hacking”
Sure, you may have did something about it but is it really enough? As in REALLY ENOUGH? For the first example, software engineering is usually taught on the higher years of college. If you’re a first year student (Not to underestimate freshmen’s), it’s likely that you don’t know software engineering but because of your ego, you pushed yourself to claim yourself to have that title. Eventually, you placed in the jobs section in your Facebook account “Software Engineer in <Inert company/institution here>”. It’s really annoying. The y tend to overestimate themselves without having to realize their genuine skill. Words don’t really denote somebody’s skills. You can already sense if a person is lying or not.
Psychological study involved: The Dunning-Kruger Effect – is a cognitive bias in which unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly rating their ability much higher than is accurate. -Wikipedia
How to deal with it: I know you have encountered a lot of people having a very huge amount of vitamin E-go in their heads so one of the greatest way to prevent it is never tolerate them. The more you tolerate them, the more they would be more confident with their unskillfulness and never to strive for further improvement. Technically, they are just digging up their own graves with their incompetence as a result, they would lose self-confidence.
Another way is do not acknowledge their incompetence. Never say anything like “Master”, “You’re so good” or “You’re the greatest person to ever do that”. Then again, it will just boost their ego and will be more blinded by their skill.
In conclusion, we can never blame them for being like that. Sometimes it could be their culture or how they adapted to the environment. Letâ€™s just be considerate but not too considerate. The next time you see those people, at least you know what to do.
Published on Feb 2, 2014