Girl 1 Uhm…I am a failure. Root canal and a car crash in one day. Fuck my life. Girl 2 Ahh!? No way, where?! Well not the root canal… the accident. Girl 1 Well, first of all, I wake up this morning in the in the worst pain of my life. Awesome. Call my dentist; he says I might have to have a root canal. Even better. Whatever, so I go to a random dentist here, they send me to some, I don’t know…root canal doctor. I back into some old fucker cause I was distraught‐ Girl 2 (laughing, interrupting) No fucking way…their car right? Your not running over senior citizens, I would imagine. Did the cops come? By the way, I have a one Monster maximum tonight, I decided. Girl 1 Leslie, that’s not going to limit the amount you drink, lets be serious. Lets be serious… that is only gonna make you ration the amount you chase with. Anyway, no, cops didn’t come. I was just like, ‘uhmm… here is my information… I have to go get a root canal, I’ll have my dad call you. I don’t know.’ This lady is literally looking at me like I am crazy. Girl 2 Which you are. Perfect. Maybe I need one. Girl 1 A car accident? Girl 2 A root canal, idiot. My tooth has hurt so bad lately. Remember when you gave me your car to go to the dentist? I slept through my appointment and… Girl 1 Uhm, wait what? I gave you my car? Oh and my tail light is shattered, no worries. Add it to my awesome list. Girl 2 Aww… yea dude. You gave me your car at like 3 in the morning, after you ordered Papa Johns (laughs). So, apparently that’s the best time to ask for things!
Girl 1 My life is a joke. By the way, do you want to go Saki bombing before the crush thing next weekend? HEY! We can take my car, I already crashed it. Girl 2 Im not going to that… I had Heather take my name off the list this morning. I officially am the saddest person and I’m convinced guys don’t like me. Girl 1 Shut up, you’re annoying. Take Lucas. Pretty sure he is obsessed with you. Girl 2 He is too shy, too nice. Okay…I have never not had a date to a dance ever...this is my nightmare. CONVERSATION TWO Girl 1 Yea! I didn’t have fun at all there and some guy was real creepy to me. Girl 2 That’s funny. Well, that’s how it would be all week then. Ya and then it‐ Girl 1 You just reminded me of Scrubs when that girl is like ‘that’s funnnyyy’. Girl 3 I just wouldn’t put it past them if they got kicked off again… I mean. Especially since they pull so much shit. Girl 1 For some reason I feel like that whole thing has blown over, we need to… I don’t know… just important to remember like, the rep of it all‐ Not that I care about that stuff, JUST something to think about.
Girl 3 I just want it to be done so she isn’t stressed anymore. Getting ridic. Girl 1 Okay, so option A (holds up a shirt). Who’s wearing a dress? Wear a dress with me Girl 2 I need to wear a dress
This is for my pre‐game
Girl 4 Pre‐game? What… where are you going? Girl 1 This kid in my class invited me over to _____, so I am just gonna start drinking there‐ Girl 4 Oh…woooo! Girl 1 (laughing) well that was rude! Girl 2 She thinks she is really cool and has friends that arn’t us, but‐ AH! Can I barrow this? Girl 1 That was her new years dress, uhm‐ Girl 4 Why doesn’t she wear that? Girl 1 She is trying to wear it sometime this weekend, but‐ Girl 2 Do you have a… turn around. Girl 3 She has a tattoo on her ass, how does no one know this? Girl 2 (Gasp) SO CUTE! Girl 3 Did it hurt? Girl 1 Do you have a‐‐, no, I don’t think it did. Do you have a necklace I could wear with this?
Were you drunk?
Girl 4 Girl 1
Am I drunk?
Girl 3 I think you should wear this one, but not… yea. Lose the belt. Girl 4 No, when you got the tattoo… Girl 1 No, your not allowed to get tattoos when your drunk. Girl 4 Really? I feel like‐ Girl 2 How come everyone always has mistakenly drunk tattos? Girl 4 Yea, right? That was I was thinking Girl 3 Kate has that new one‐ Girl 1 I don’t want to wear something she’s never worn though Girl 4 She has been like, pushing people to wear it. Girl 4 Elle, you have a really nice ass. Girl 1 Yea, its kind of a black girl ass… BUT I’m definitely not wearing this. Ah! My guy friends in high school literally called me an upside‐down light bulb. Girl 4 But I like it.
Published on Feb 3, 2011