HAppY~NEW~[COLLEGE]YeaR! SUBMIT TO THE KITE : firstname.lastname@example.org
dEAr reADers, The Kite wishes you a happy new college year!! There is now a society for The Kite now. Everyone’s invited to contact the magazine and join. We need all the people we can get to help with things like cake sales and PR! Please get involved! Hopefully as part of the narrative society, THE KITE SOCIETY will be involved in events in the college on a regular basis. The society’s officers are Ian Nolan, third year Paint and Jake Bourke, third year Sculpture. There will be regular society meetings and this magazine will be issued every 2 months. This issue’s packed with writing including poems, the second last instalment of Ian Nolan’s short story and a comic strip. the Editor, Roisin~Power~Hackett IN ISSUE FIVE
POETRY Rosa Devine Ncad, 3rd year Vis. Com. P.2 Jake Pezao Bourke Ncad, 3rd year Sculpture P.2 Roisin Power Hackett Ncad, 3rd year Paint P.3 COMIC Claire Duggan Ncad, 4th year Print P.4 SHORT STORY FRUITS OF PASSION Ian Nolan Ncad, 3rd year Paint P.12 2
Rosa~Devine Space The infinite reaches of space are considered the final frontier but the incalculable distances Between us seem a more alien place to me Now.
Jake~Pezao~Bourke Cooling Ouroboros Wispy wandering steam, strays up from the cup confirming that with everything else, we share a theme. Sitting on my table, the ever constant presence acting on all, and unavoidable. Gentle cooling, until all is cold.
Roisin~Power~Hackett On High It feels like you are walking on soft soft feathers. High in the sky. High. Airy. Light. Above everything, in a world made up by two people. Him. & You. It goes on forever. Stretching into whiteness, beauty, calm. Delicate moment of clarity. His eyes, the crevices of their irises and the way his lashes open and close are all that matter. Light laughter and chatter. Silence. Light Laughter. Chatter. Calm beautiful silence. Eyes staring into eyes. His hands in yours. Rooms open like the sky. The sky is your room. Lightness. Whiteness. It feels like soft soft feathers beneath your feet. That moment is the moment. The high.
FRUITS OF PASSION Have you ever eaten a fruit? As in have you ever stalked (pun) the aisles of a supermarket, fruitissery or zoo, picked out one succulent piece of a brightly coloured metaphor for all that is forbidden, taken from the monkeysâ€™ hands and paid for with your own money and lust, one fine piece of fruit? Silly question, Iâ€™m sure most of us, excepting the most ardent carnivorous types, have. We have all chiselled at least once upon the cheeky granny smith (apple), suckled greedily upon the tip of the sensuous (if suggestive) banana, discombobulated the dismantle able orange, the mandarin, gutted the juicy sweet kiwi (Chinese gooseberry for those less well informed), fiddled intimately with the avocado to an almost sexual degree. We all love fruit, all fruit, and always fruit... as for figs...well nobody really likes figs. Vile things. They are rejects of the fruit world, hidden upon the shelves of life. Figs, unfortunately, are also classified as fruit. However as the reading public would agree, particularly those who were privileged enough to get their naughty hands on the last edition of the Fruits of Passion, the issue of whether or not figs should indeed be allowed to continue living as fruit when they could better be used as cannon fodder in jungle warfare remains a hot topic in many circles of debate. Jerry Springer, in an attempt to sort out the issues between figs and the world, put his illustrious career at risk once again by inviting several well esteemed members of the fig community onto his show, controversial on all counts, as well as several well known celebrities, all of whom have played an active role in figpeople relations and trying in some small
way to come to terms with why exactly it is that makes figs remain possibly the most vile and hated miserable things on the planet. What resulted was a rather embarrassing display of contempt as an irate Helen Mirren lost all composure in the face of one particularly obnoxious fig and proceeded to pound the defenceless fruit into the ground with the very chair upon which it sat. Either way it can safely be said that fruit, even figs, as we know it, remain an integral part of the fruit eating humansâ€™ diet. But have you ever considered the potentially dire consequences of your actions when eating a piece of fruit? Have you ever considered what in reality you may actually be doing in putting a tantalisingly tender and deliciously delectable piece of wet, juicy fruit to your lips? What, indeed, would you say if the fruit were, per se, to be in fact, almost, human? Would you so readily eat it then? Cannot a fruit be considered a sentient being with real thoughts, anxieties and emotions? For to an extent the thing must be alive, for it grows and withers and dies like the confidence of a crashing comic or a readers interest in a long and rambling introduction. If a person can be a potato- potatoes being vegetables i.e. the boring fruit one does not invite to most parties- why cannot a fruit aspire to things greater in life than being delicious? ( except for figs, they are not delicious nor can they aspire to anything, pernicious little wastes of space). This, dear reader, is the fulcrum around which this great shmorgishborg of sinful delight doth swivel. What if there was more to fruit than merely meets the eye? ( or mouth,
depending on how good your hand eye coordination is). At this point I’m sure many of you are confused, not only at my seemingly sadistic and apparently undue hatred of the fig, and for the benefit of new readers I shall attempt to explain exactly what the fruits of passion is all about! This harrowing, twisting, turning and downright unnecessarily complicated collection of controversial statements tells the true to life story of a handful of fruit and the complex and twisted and twistedly complex relationships they share. First there is Apple, a rather self-centred, self obsessed and selfish fruit. (so vain he probably thinks this tale is about HIM!) At the start of this tale he had been considering leaving his girlfriend (Banana) of two years for none other than her best friend (orange), with whom he believed he had been in love since before he and his girlfriend had been going out (of date). In his desperate state of not knowing what to do about the whole situation he turned to the one fruit he felt in the whole world he could trust, Avocado. Apple tells him of how he wishes to leave his beloved Banana (girlfriend) for the feisty Orange (Bananas best friend). He trusts Avocado to help him and provide him with honest advice on the issue. But little does he know he has in fact made a great mistake: Avocado himself is in love with Orange and this news has not been well received and sparks off a series of events far more destructive than anyone could ever have imagined (even me, and I’m the one telling this story). Upon hearing of Apples desire to leave Banana for Orange, Avocado must act. He does not wish for Apple to leave his Banana, who truly loves him, and neither does Avocado wish for Apple to destroy all the good work which he has done thus far in his attempts to woo his beloved Orange. In his desperation, Avocado turns to his most trusted compatriot, Kiwi, for aid and assistance. Together they germinate a most fiendish plan. Enter Fig, a miserable and lowly
creature, Fig has spent years trying to win the heart of Mandarin, the twin sister of Orange, but to no avail. In his rejection he has become desperate and jealous of the apparent happiness shared by Apple and Banana. Avocado and Kiwi plan, in the name of love, to convince Fig that Banana wants to leave Apple for him. In this way Fig will desperately try and make a move on the fair fruit, only to instil a great jealousy and anger in Apple. The proud and possessive Apple will immediately drop all preoccupations with Orange and return to fight off the lowly Fig away from his beloved Banana. In this way the relationship between Apple and Banana will be restored, Avocado will be free to court Orange and Fig will get the bruisin’ all Figs so rightly deserve. YUK! (The author will never admit in writing that he has never eaten a fig. ever. signed: Ian Nolan.) This is in essence the point at which our story last left off. Avocado is running to tell Fig of Bananas “lust” for him, Apple shall be jealous fig pulverised, and balance restored. However there is but one more twist, one more spanner, one too many a seedless grape in the mix. Avocado firmly believes balance shall be restored once again to the happy world of fruit. There is mischief afoot. While Avocado is committing to instigating deeds of great treachery, he is doing so for what he feels is the greater good, for love. However there is one more motive that we thus far know of at play: revenge. Kiwi, none other than Avocado’s trusted confidante, having heard of Apple and Avocados situation and upon finding that Fig is the key to solving all their problems finds himself, within the plight of his friends, the key to all his problems, which all in turn revolve around the fig! Fig, for all his detestability is ironically the most important and influential factor in the lives of all those around him. Little does he know that Fig must die. Long has Kiwi waited for this opportunity and watched silently for his chance. Kiwi, out of all the fruit is 15
currently the only one in a safe stable and happy relationship with the sweet Strawberry. However of late he has noticed more and more and begun to increasingly suspect that Fig the shameless despicable, inedible fruit, has been trying subversively to steal his beloved Strawberry away from him. Wracked with doubt, Kiwi had decided long ago that Fig must die and now was his one opportunity to realise his dream and what was more, successfully pin it on Apple. While Avocado runs to convince Fig he ought to elope with the fair Banana, Kiwi runs off to find Apple with the intention of filling him with such a hideous and jealous rage that whereupon he witnesses the poor mislead Fig moving in on his fruit, he shall lose all control and surely kill the despicable thing. In this way Fig will be gone and Kiwi’s state of mind returned. Mandarin, for whom Kiwi himself may retain secret feelings, shall no longer have to endure Figs “romantic” surprises. Such as randomly appearing outside her window on cold moonlight nights clad in his mother’s fishnets and weeping vigorously as he attempts to blurt out the lyrics to Roy Orbison’s Pretty Woman. Avocado will be free to court Orange. Apple and Banana shall remain together. And Apple, who for so long vexed Kiwi himself with tales of his own anxieties and gravely mislead fantasies, will finally be given something real to moan about once the authorities (fruit police/common shopper) catch up on him. Nothing can stop Kiwi at this point. He is in complete control with the confidence of all those around him and now, with everything set in motion all he need do is watch and wait for it all to unfold. All seems lost and Fig seems doomed, his fate, Apple’s, Avocado’s, Banana’s and Oranges all intertwined. But just as this next instalment commences, the smoke swirling in the wake of one who holds within his grasp the power to stop it all begins to clear and there, silhouetted by the moon, the outline of what can only be a pinecone can be seen retreating amongst
the shadows. There is a fatal crack in the foundations of Kiwi’s superstructure of power and soon this crack shall grow and a torrent of destruction and devastation shall burst forth and his world shall crumble along with everyone and everything in it. The stage is set now for the final instalment(s) of our tale! Let us begin! Until next time!