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Feel Guide

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3– AGES

written by Ellen Pritchard Dodge, M.Ed., CCC-SLP and Diann Grimm, M.A. CCC-SLP, Ed.S.


All text, illustrations, and photographs copyright © 2014 Plushy Feely Corp. All rights reserved. Published by Plushy Feely Corp. This book may not be reproduced in whole or part without the publisher’s written permission. The reproducibles in this volume may be reproduced for use with individual students. These pages, however, may not be reproduced for general distribution to an entire school, school district, clinic, or group of professionals. Design by: Susan Schroeder Copyediting and Proofreading by: Cindy Nixon, Bookmarker Editorial Services and Judith Allen Photographs by: Nina Rappaport-Rowan, ND Koster, Julian Kwasneski, Marisa Melgarejo, and Eileen Cristobal Illustrations by: Hanako Wakiyama, Daniel Root, Sergio Pablos, and Santiago Piles Kimochis, Kimochis Toys With Feelings Inside, Cloud, Huggtopus, Lovey Dove are registered trademarks of Plushy Feely Corp. All rights reserved. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Plushy Feely Corp. 2100 Fourth Street, C-286, San Rafael, CA 94901 415.578.1100 • kimochime@kimochis.com www.kimochis.com


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Kimochi (KEY•MO•CHEE) Means “Feeling” in Japanese We are excited that you have joined the world of Kimochis®! We hope that you will have as much fun with the Kimochis® Characters and Feelings as we have had designing this program. The Kimochis® Feel Guide: Early Childhood Edition is designed to give children the knowledge, skills, and attitudes they need to recognize and manage their emotions, demonstrate caring and concern for others, establish positive relationships, make responsible decisions, and handle challenging situations constructively. These skills have been identified by leading researchers in the field of social and emotional learning as necessary for school success, academic achievement, positive social relationships, and the development of emotional intelligence. WHAT’S INSIDE 1. Guiding Principles: The principles behind the Kimochis® Way, to help you understand

the philosophy behind the lessons and activities.

2. Getting Started with the Kimochis® Lessons: Tips to get you started and help you

schedule, set up, and implement the lessons.

3. Kimochis® Classroom: How to set up a social-emotional classroom and learning environment. 4. Strategies and Enhancements for Children with Social-Emotional Challenges:

Suggestions for accommodations and modifications that can help children with special

needs be successful with the Kimochis® Lessons.

5. Homelinks: How you can make a connection between the Kimochis® Lessons and the

home environment of children.

6. The Kimochis® Lessons: Twenty-five weeks of lessons! 7. The Research Behind It All: The important research and evidence base behind the

Kimochis® early childhood curriculum.

8. Appendix: Additional fun and important documents. www.kimochis.com

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Contents Kimochis® Feelings Chart • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 10 Kimochis® Early Childhood Curriculum •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 11 The Kimochis® Early Childhood Curriculum Guiding Principles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

Getting Started With the Kimochis® Early Lessons •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 13 Understanding the Kimochis® Lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Scheduling the Kimochis® Lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Setting Up the Kimochis® Lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Implementing Lessons Successfully .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Promoting Collaboration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Documenting Children’s Social-Emotional and Behavioral Skills . .

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Creating a Kimochis® Classroom• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 17 Kimochis® Corner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis® Classroom Jobs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Good Morning, Kimochis®! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Calming Kimochis® .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis® Puppet Play . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis® Check-In . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis® Recess Check-In .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis® Wingman .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis® for Good-Byes and Separation Anxiety . . Using the Kimochis® Bag of Feelings .. . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis® Sleepover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Strategies and Enhancements for Children with Social-Emotional Challenges• • • • • • • • • 29 Strategies and Enhancements Within the Lessons . Behavioral Strategies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Adjust Sitting Requirements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Visual Supports .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Social Narratives . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Homelinks: Building a School-to-Home Connection• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 33 Homelinks Letter / Handouts •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kimochis® Parent Education Event •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kimochis® Cell Phone Challenge • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Friendly Families •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kimochis® Family Gathering • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Using Kimochis® in Parent-Teacher Conferences •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

www.kimochis.com

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The Kimochis® Lessons • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 37 UNIT 1: Meet the Kimochis® Characters and Feelings• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 39

Week 1: Lovey Dove: Proud, Kind, Friendly Feelings• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Communication Tool: Friendly Signals Week 2: Cloud: Happy, Sad, Mad Feelings • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Communication Tool: Calm-Down Breath Week 3: Huggtopus: Excited, Frustrated, Silly, Proud Feelings • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Communication Tool: “Not now” signal Week 4: Bug: Shy, Brave, Left Out Feelings• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Communication Tool: Try New Things Week 5: Cat: Curious, Cranky, Sorry, Scared Feelings •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Communication Tool: Talk Nicely

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UNIT 2: Kimochis® Keys to Communication •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 93

Week 6: Key 1• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 96 Communication Tools: Use Name; Eye Contact; Communication Tap Week 7: Key 2• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 104 Communication Tools: Talking and Fighting Voice; In My Way! Week 8: Key 3• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 112 Communication Tools: Talking Face; Talking Body; Talking Hand Week 9: Key 4• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 120 Communication Tools: Helping and Hurtful Words; Ouch, That Hurt Week 10: Key 5• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 128 Communication Tool: Re-Do Hurtful Moments

UNIT 3: Kimochis® Feeling Lessons •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 137 viii

Week 11: Kind Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Take the Time To Be Kind Communication Tool: Kindness Habits Week 12: Happy Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Have a Happy Heart! Communication Tool: Remember, We Share! Week 13: Happy Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Have a Happy Heart! Communication Tool: My Turn, Your Turn Week 14: Excited Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Fun Has To Be Fun For Everyone Communication Tool: Stop Hands Week 15: Friendly Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Friendly Faces Create Friendly Places Communication Tool: Friendly Habits Week 16: Left Out Feeling•• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Make Room for Everyone Communication Tool: Joining In Week 17: Left Out Feeling•• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Make Room for Everyone Communication Tools: Use Your Eyes and Ears to Be Kind; Include Others Week 18: Mad Feeling•• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: It’s Okay to Be Mad, But It’s Not Okay to Be Mean Communication Tool: Serious Face and Voice www.kimochis.com

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Week 19: Disappointed Feeling•• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Maybe Next Time Communication Tool: Disappointed Snap Week 20: Brave Feeling•• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: You Can’t Be Brave Without Being Afraid Communication Tool: Enjoy Being a Beginner Week 21: Silly Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Know When to Be Silly and When to Be Serious Communication Tool: Silly/Serious Chart; Settle Down Week 22: Frustrated Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Bounce Back Communication Tool: I Can Stick With It!; Ask for Help Week 23: Sad Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Sad Feelings Come and Go Communication Tools: Making Sad Feelings Smaller; Showing Compassion Week 24: Curious Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: When Curious, Be Safe and Kind Communication Tools: Curious, But Respectful; Encouraging Creativity Week 25: Proud Feeling• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Kotowaza: Proud of Me…Proud of You! Communication Tools: Name It!

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The Research Behind It All•• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 256 Research on Social-Emotional Learning in the Early Childhood Years•• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 257 The Development of the Kimochis® Early Childhood Curriculum• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 259 Research and Resources• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 259 The Young Child’s Brain and Social-Emotional Development• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 260 Emotional Intelligence (Emotional Competence)• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 261 The Five Core Social-Emotional Competencies (CASEL)• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 261 Development of Emotional Literacy•• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 263 Instructional Design in Social-Emotional Learning Programs•• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 264 Character Education Principles• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 265 Positive Behavior Support Through the Teaching Pyramid Model• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 266 Gender Differences• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 268 Cultural Considerations• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 268 Alignment to Early Childhood Standards• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 269

Appendix• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 271 A. More Feelings• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • B. Introduction to Kimochis® Homelinks: Building a School-to-Home Connection • • • • • • • • • • • • • • C. Glossary of Kimochis® Vocabulary • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • D. Kimochis® Keys to Communication • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • E. Kimochis® Parent Education Event • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • F. Examples of Social Narratives •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • G. Templates •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • H. Kimochis® Tool Kit Checklist for Educators / Professionals • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • I. Kimochis® Classroom Climate Survey • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • J. Kimochis® Communication Scale for Parents • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • K. References • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • L. Behaviors at a Glance • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • www.kimochis.com

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How Are You Feeling? The Kimochis速 Corner Helper (page 18) can use this chart to return all of the Feelings to the canvas bag after playtime and/or lessons.

BRAVE

CRANKY

CURIOUS

DISAPPOINTED

EMBARRASSED

EXCITED

FRIENDLY

FRUSTRATED

GRATEFUL

GUILTY

HAPPY

HOPEFUL

HURT

INSECURE

JEALOUS

KIND

LEFT OUT

LOVED

MAD

OPTIMISTIC

PROUD

SAD

SCARED

SENSITIVE

SHY

SILLY

SLEEPY

SORRY

SURPRISED

UNCOMFORTABLE


The Kimochis Early Childhood Curriculum ®

Research has unequivocally documented that early experiences have a significant effect on the development of children’s brains and cognitive, social, physical, and emotional underpinnings. Actually, 85% of a person’s brain development occurs before the age of 5. These first years of life set the stage for lifelong development (Shonkoff and Phillips 2000, Shonkoff and Levitt, 2010). The Kimochis® Lessons are structured to be taught weekly—three lessons per week that each take 5–10 minutes. The activities in the Kimochis® Feel Guide: Early Childhood Edition align with the Head Start Framework, NAEYC guidelines, and state early learning standards. Activities also fit into the tiers of the Teaching Pyramid Model for Positive Behavior Support (Fox et al. 2003; see also pp. 266 herein). The Kimochis® early childhood curriculum is based on sound theories of child development and social-emotional learning (SEL), which are explained in more detail in the section “The Research Behind It All” (pp. 256). THE KIMOCHIS® EARLY CHILDHOOD CURRICULUM GUIDING PRINCIPLES • Excellent communication skills are at the heart of social-emotional competence. • Feelings fuel behavior. Children can learn to use tools to help themselves in difficult emotional moments. These social-emotional communication tools can support positive behavior. • Six principles of character education guide the Kimochis® philosophy, which advocates that children can learn to be respectful, responsible, resilient, compassionate, kind, and brave. • The five core social-emotional competencies as defined by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) inform the Kimochis® philosophy: (1) self-awareness; (2) self-management; (3) social awareness; (4) relationship skills; and (5) responsible decision making. • Each child is an individual. Differentiated instruction and assistance can help children who are more challenged to develop their social-emotional competence. • Inclusive education (education that includes all children, regardless of their differences) is imperative to social-emotional development. • Social-emotional instruction goes hand in hand with academic instruction. • Social-emotional learning takes place throughout the school day in many different learning situations and natural environments. • Children need opportunities to practice newly learned skills in order to internalize them. • Adults in the early childhood school community can have a significant influence on children’s social-emotional development through intentional teaching, guidance, coaching, and acknowledgement. • Early childhood educators have an opportunity to contribute to powerful and socially meaningful change with young children and their parents/caregivers.

www.kimochis.com

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Getting Started With the Kimochis Lessons ®

UNDERSTANDING THE KIMOCHIS® LESSONS 1. The Kimochis® Lessons have been created to be taught weekly. Each week maps out three lessons. Each of these lessons should take from 5 to10 minutes. The lessons can be taught to an entire class, or you can rotate children through in small groups first, and then repeat the lesson together as a whole class. These lessons can be taught on three different days and include specific scripts and instructions to guide you. 2. You are encouraged to follow the sequence of the lessons provided, as this sequence has been found to be the most effective and successful in supporting learning and encouraging positive behavior. The first step is introducing the Kimochis® Characters and Feelings (Unit 1). Next come the Kimochis® Keys to Communication (Unit 2), which form the foundation of the Kimochis® social-emotional learning program. Unit 3 includes 15 weekly groupings of lessons that teach children how to understand and manage both positive and negative feelings by integrating what they have learned in Units 1 and 2. However, the authors have provided a few exceptions to the sequence. In these cases, a note is provided to lead you to other tools further along in the curriculum that your class may require earlier than where it appears in the sequence of lessons. 3. Each lesson includes a Coach Key that explains how you can coach the skill being taught throughout the day. The goal is for children to generalize their learning from the Kimochis® Lessons to situations that occur during daily activities. These tips will help you guide, prompt, and reinforce children to make good social-emotional choices. 4. Lessons also contain information on Cultural Considerations and Gender Differences, when relevant, to help you navigate differences in social-emotional functioning skills in various cultures and between genders. 5. Each week incorporates three Extension Activities, to help extend the learning during the week. These activities are based on the Early Childhood Program Standards and Accreditation Criteria of the National Association for the Education of Young Children and align with the NAEYC’s curriculum for the preschool age group, which includes the following areas of focus (NAEYC 2014): • Social-Emotional Development • Physical Development • Language Development • Cognitive Development: Early Literacy • Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts • Cognitive Development: Social Studies 6. This curriculum is developmentally appropriate for preschoolers, pre-k, transitional kindergarten, and kindergarten.

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7.

Additional activities are included for several feeling pillows that are included in the Kimochis® Tool Kit but for which there are no specific accompanying Feeling Lessons in this guide (i.e., Hopeful, Grateful, Embarrassed, Sleepy, Guilty, Uncomfortable, and Jealous; see Appendix A: More Feelings). These feeling words can be more difficult for young children to understand. However, children acquire words by understanding their meaning (receptive language) before they are able to use the words in their own speech (expressive language). Therefore, using these more complicated feeling words (and other emotion words) when talking with children will help to develop the foundation of an emotional vocabulary. Explain what the words mean in context (“I think the character in the book feels guilty because he knows he should not steal”). As you do this, children build their emotional vocabularies until one day you hear them use the word correctly! You can also use these additional activities with older children who have more developed emotional vocabularies.

SCHEDULING THE KIMOCHIS® LESSONS 1. The three units are set up on a weekly basis and include three lessons per week, for a total of 25 weeks. It is suggested that you schedule three short lessons per week. 2. The lesson plan works best when you commit to a schedule and stick with it. You may need to do a number of lessons before you see children start to use the skills and modify some of their social and emotional behavior. 3. Keep the lessons at a consistent and regular time, so children know when to expect a Kimochis® Lesson. (Otherwise, they may ask you over and over again!) Predictability and routine help young children organize themselves because they know what to expect next. If you need to cancel or reschedule a lesson, let children know the day before or at the beginning of the day as you review the daily schedule. 4. Consider doing your Kimochis® Lesson as the first activity of the day. • This helps children make positive social-emotional connections with their classmates at the beginning of the day. Remember that you are providing the intentional instruction of new positive social-emotional habits for school and life success! • After you have taught the Kimochis® Keys to Communication, you might consider doing a quick review of the keys each morning. (The keys can be found on pages 92 and 277.) 5. Another good time to implement the Kimochis® Lessons is right before recess or free-play time. This will provide children an immediate opportunity to use the new communication skills as they engage in play and social interaction. 6. You can also teach each lesson in small groups and then repeat the lesson in the large group. This helps give children more repetition with the learning. SETTING UP THE KIMOCHIS® LESSONS 1. Sitting on the floor in a circle is ideal for young children. This will make passing the Kimochis® Characters and Feelings around easier and will encourage all children to participate. 2. In many lessons, you will find that you are asked to “pull a name stick.” You may already be using name sticks as a way to “call on” children for turns in a fair and equitable way. Some educators have name sticks they use for other activities. It is suggested that you make Kimochis® name sticks that

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you use only for the Kimochis® Lessons. This way, if you do not use all the name sticks in one lesson, those still in the cup would be picked first for the next lesson. Children like things to be fair! It helps to organize the Kimochis® Characters and Feelings before starting the lesson. Sometimes it’s hard to find the right feeling pillow at the right time! Your Kimochis® Corner Helper (see “Creating a Kimochis® Classroom,” page 18) can assist you in getting organized and bringing the materials to the lesson. Use the Kimochis® Feeling Chart on page 10 to ensure you have all the Feelings needed.

IMPLEMENTING LESSONS SUCCESSFULLY 1. Young children benefit from a high level of repetition. The repeated experience of hearing the Kimochis® language and practicing the newly learned skills in role-plays (or “shows”) will help children use these strategies when needed in real-life situations. You may notice that some concepts are repeated in lessons. Research actually shows that for children’s brains to become developed for learning, they need repeated experiences to practice newly learned information. 2. Young children need assistance to generalize the skills they have learned in everyday life. Therefore, they will require frequent and gentle reminders to guide their behavior. 3. When children make positive choices, they need to be acknowledged. Some children may struggle with self-confidence and may be quick to give up when trying their newly learned skills. Recognize that they will need acknowledgement when they “get it right.” It is important to remember the following when giving positive verbal acknowledgement: • When you observe a child practicing a new habit, acknowledge the child by name. • State the specific behavior. For example, “You used your Talking Voice. That’s great.” • Move beyond “Good job” or “Good work.” These statements are not specific enough to let the child know what was positive. Instead, state the behavior you observed that was positive. For example, “I saw you go down the big slide all by yourself. I bet it was fun!” • Give immediate acknowledgement as soon as possible after the child’s behavior. Children need to make the connection between their behavior and what you say. • Be sincere and enthusiastic. Remember that many of the skills you are teaching in this program are not easy for young children. Any attempt they make to use the new skills needs to be recognized and acknowledged! • Focus your acknowledgement and encouragement on effort. Early childhood educators can encourage children who have worked hard or shown how much they have improved. This helps build children’s pride in their effort and attempts. For example, “You practiced using your Talking Hand, and I noticed it worked!” • Children also need to learn to evaluate themselves on their own merits. When adults provide children with feedback about what they are doing, children learn to look at themselves without comparing their efforts and successes to those of others. Teach children to celebrate their accomplishments so that they do not become dependent upon the recognition of others, but feel good internally about making positive choices.

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PROMOTING COLLABORATION 1. If you work with a speech-language pathologist, social worker, counselor, or psychologist, consider working together to implement the Kimochis® Lessons. You will each bring unique and specialized knowledge to the lessons. 2. Be sure to include your teaching assistants in the lessons, so they will know the strategies and can help prompt the children using the same common vocabulary. 3. Parents also enjoy being a part of their child’s school day. Invite parents to participate in the Kimochis® Lessons, and they can help in some of the role-plays or shows. Fostering a connection and common language between home and school can have a powerful impact. See Appendix E, page 278. 4. Developing positive well-being in children happens effectively when a daily communal conversation between school, home, and the wider community occurs. When families learn together and fruitful relationships are developed with parents, everyone benefits. The Wellbeing Classroom project in Adelaide, South Australia, models this and has published an evaluation completed by the University of South Australia. More information can be found at www.thewellbeingclassroom.com.au. DOCUMENTING CHILDREN’S SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL AND BEHAVIORAL SKILLS It is important to document change when providing intervention for social-emotional development. There are a number of standardized, commercial assessment tools that can be used to document social-emotional and behavioral change. The Kimochis® Feel Guide: Early Education Edition includes three nonstandardized checklists: the Kimochis® Tool Kit Checklist for Educators/Professionals (Appendix H), the Kimochis® Classroom Climate Survey (Appendix I), and the Kimochis® Communication Scale for Parents (Appendix J). These are informal means to track and record frequency of behaviors.

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Creating a Kimochis Classroom ®

The 25 weeks of Kimochis® Lessons and 75 Extension Activities in this curriculum will give children the communication tools they need to do well in life. In addition to the weekly lessons, there are many ways to infuse social-emotional learning into your classroom throughout the day. Here are some of our Kimochis® home runs. KIMOCHIS® CORNER 1. Set up a special spot or “home” in your classroom with comfortable pillows or chairs for the Kimochis® Characters and Feelings. When individual children or small groups are having emotional moments, they can go the Kimochis® Corner to take a moment to regroup. The Kimochis® Corner is not a time-out spot or place where a child has to go for misbehaving. It is a place to promote self-regulation, reflection, relaxation, gentle play, emotional literacy, quiet time, rethinking choices and behaviors, and conflict resolution. 2. Brainstorm with your children about how a Kimochis® Corner might help. Show children the items in the corner and have children share fun, helpful ways to use them. 3. Suggested materials for the Kimochis® Corner: • Kimochis® Characters: Bug, Cat, Cloud, Lovey Dove, and Huggtopus • Kimochis® Feelings in a bowl, basket, or bucket • Pillows, beanbags, stress balls • Kimochis® picture books and other books focused on social-emotional learning (suggested books are listed with the lessons) • Sensory tools: sand tray and dragging tools, squeeze balls, molding clay, pipe cleaners • Drawing materials • CD player, headphones, and music for different moods

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KIMOCHIS® CLASSROOM JOBS Many early education classrooms have jobs for each child. Two Kimochis®-related jobs are described below. You may think of others! 1. Kimochis® Corner Helper: • Cleans up and puts away items in the Kimochis® Corner at the end of the day. 2. Kimochis® Class Communicator: • Pulls name sticks during Kimochis® Lessons to help with turn-taking. • Brings the Kimochis® Characters and Feelings to the Kimochis® Lessons. • Sits next to the teacher during the lesson and gets the first turn. • Takes the Kimochis® Challenge: Ask the Class Communicator to choose a feeling from the list below and do the challenge. The child can carry the selected feeling pillow and report to you how the challenge went at the end of the school day (or anytime that fits into your schedule). FEELING CHALLENGE Kind Perform one act of kindness on the playground. Left Out Look for a child who might be feeling left out and invite this peer to join in play. Grateful Report grateful feelings about the school day. Friendly Send a friendly sign to children who are less familiar. Brave Try something new on the playground or in the classroom; seek out and play with a child with whom you do not typically play. Proud Share what you’re proud of at calendar time. Shy Look for a child who may be feeling shy and ask if they want to play. Excited Choose one fun activity that everyone gets to enjoy for10 minutes. Happy Do something you think will create happy feelings on the playground. 3. Kimochis Feeling Detective: Put Feelings in Kimochis® Bag and have Kimochis® Feeling Detective pull a Feeling during calendar or weather time (observe the emotional weather). Invite this child to: • Say the feeling • Show the feeling on his/her face • Make a sound that could be related to the feeling. • Ponder where in the classroom might we see this feeling. • Ponder where on the playground might we see this feeling. • Provide all the supports a child needs to be successful answering the above. • Challenge the child to be a Kimochis Feeling Detective during the day and notice the day’s feeling. If it is a positive feeling have this child notice what created this desirable feeling. • If the child pulled a negative feeling, have them notice what they admire about the way people handle or manage this upset feeling and problem. For example, if the child notices someone was feeling left out, what did the person say or do to get included? • At the end of the day, have the Feeling Detective share their observations with the class.

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Kimochis® Storybook Feeling Helpers Give a few children Feelings to hold that will come up in the story you are reading aloud. For example, in the Kimochis® story, Bug Makes a Splash, Bug feels scared to join his friends and a bit left out. However, at the end of the story, Bug feels brave because he got himself to join his friends and swim! Choose three children. Give each child a feeling pillow that represents a feeling that will arise in the story. When the child hears the feeling they are listening for, they can stand up with the feeling pillow. (Many children will need you to prompt and say things like, “I think we are about to learn that Bug is going to feel scared. Where is my scared feeling helper?”) At the end of the story have these children re-tell the story (with your help) using the feeling pillows to guide them.

GOOD MORNING, KIMOCHIS®! 1. Create a morning greeting routine for your class if you don’t already have one. • Use each child’s name as you give a friendly sign (“Hi,” “Hello,” “Great to see you!”). • Communicate at the child’s eye level by bending down and making gentle eye contact. 2. This simple, yet meaningful routine will teach children how to greet adults and peers and let them know that they matter. It will also give you a chance to quickly assess the emotional state of each child that day. You can then intervene appropriately if a problem or concern arises later in the day. 3. Bring a Kimochis® Character or Feeling to join you at the door to welcome each child. Be creative and make up your own greeting routine. Remember, a feeling of belonging is critical to one’s emotional well-being CALMING KIMOCHIS® Redirecting Behavior and Settling the Group Teachers benefit from having an understood signal that alerts all children to quickly settle down and refocus their attention on the task at hand. Hold up the Silly and Excited feeling pillows and tell the children that sometimes when the class feels silly and excited, it can get too loud. Tell them that when you say, “KEY-MO-CHEEEEEE” (hold the last syllable for a few seconds while putting your index finger to your lips), this is your cue to them to settle down. Invite them to imitate you, explaining that this is how they can settle themselves down when things get too loud or wild in the classroom. Requesting Time Alone Explain to the children that sometimes the best thing to do in an emotional moment is to take a break rather than talk. Show the children how they can use both hands to make a T-shape, for “time out.” This is a way to tell their friends that they need time to be alone with their feelings so they can regroup and come back and do and say the right thing to make things a bit better. Requesting a Redo “Everybody makes mistakes, and everybody gets a redo”—this message lies at the heart of Kimochis® communication. Telling children that everybody makes mistakes is one thing. Making mistakes in front of children and showing them how to “bounce back” is even more powerful. Early on in the school year, make many silly mistakes the children will remember. For example, preschool teacher Mrs. Dulik would have her children bake a cake … then Mrs. Dulik would accidentally sit on it! (Of course she had a backup cake to eat later.) All year long, she could use this as an example by saying, www.kimochis.com

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“Remember, everybody makes mistakes. Even Mrs. Dulik—I sat on a cake!” When you meet adults who had Mrs. Dulik as a teacher, they all remember the day she sat on the cake. Even more importantly, she gave her students the gift of bouncing back by showing them that no one is or has to be perfect. Thank you, Mrs. Dulik! There are many resilient children because of your wise and fun lesson. Prompting the Use of the Calm-Down Breath The calm-down breath is taught throughout this curriculum as one effective way to help children get oxygen to the brain in the heat of the moment. Hold up the Mad Feeling and say, “Sometimes when we feel really, really mad, we can say and do the wrong thing. It can help us to make our mad feelings smaller or better by taking in a deep breath.” Make a point of not only taking cool-down breaths yourself, but naming this practice when you do. “I just took a calm-down breath so I can manage my frustration better.” Or, “I am going to take a calm-down breath so I don’t say and do the wrong thing because I am really frustrated.” Likewise, tell the children you will say, “Take a calm-down breath” when you think it will help them manage their upset feelings in more positive ways. KIMOCHIS® PUPPET PLAY MATERIALS: Kimochis® Characters, all Feelings 1. Introduce the concept of Kimochis® Puppet Play as a way to spend free-choice time and/or as a way to create “puppet shows” to help us learn what to say and do when we feel upset with one another. 2. Hold up the relevant feeling pillow(s) and ask, “What can make us feel sad or mad in the block area?” 3. Create the puppet show at the exact location where feelings are being hurt (when possible). 4. Name the puppet show something simple that communicates a common situation, like the “Please Don’t Grab from Me” show. Pull name sticks so children can choose which Kimochis® Characters should star in the puppet show. 5. Have the children choose which Feelings this situation might create: “How might someone feel if a friend grabbed their block?” 6. Decide as a group which Character will be the one to forget to play kindly (grab) and which Character will use helping words, then tuck the appropriate feeling pillows into those Characters’ pouches. 7. Do the puppet show first yourself to create the upsetting scenario and to model what to say and do to make things better. Keep the words short and simple. 8. Call “Freeze!” at the end of the puppet show to debrief the show: • Have the children pull the Feelings from the pouches and allow them to share why the Characters might have had these feelings. • Ask, “What did the Character [for example, Bug] say and do to make things better when he felt sad and mad?” 9. Allow children to take turns using the puppets to imitate the communication script just modeled for as long as time and/or attention permits. 10. Remove the Characters from the scene and have the children interact directly with you rather than using puppets as props to practice the newly learned script. (For example, “Please don’t grab.”) 20

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11. Wrap up puppet time by letting children know that the Kimochis® Characters are available for free-choice time to create shows. Occasionally, you may enjoy asking children to perform the shows they create for the class. Some teachers incorporate Kimochis® Puppet Play at: • Calendar time • Before free-choice time • Before and/or after recess • At the end of the day KIMOCHIS® CHECK-IN Do a Kimochis® Check-in once a week or once a day. You can do this in a large or small group or with one child. Consider allowing children to call for a Kimochis® Check-in at any time! When upset feelings are present, learning is less likely to happen. You can also call a check-in for a happy reason. 1. Sit children in a circle and spread a few of the feeling pillows in the center of the circle. Read the name of each Feeling aloud as you set it in the circle. 2. Invite one child at a time to go into the circle and choose a feeling they’ve experienced on the playground, in the classroom, or as a result of an incident in school or in their outside world. You can make it even safer by depersonalizing this prompt: “Pick a feeling pillow that shows how you think some of your friends felt in the sandbox when …” 3. Ask the child to show the chosen feeling pillow. Speak the name of the feeling and have the children repeat it. Ask them to express this feeling on their faces, then talk about what everyone notices: “Beth’s and Joseph’s faces are saying, ‘I feel scared.’ ” 4. Ask the child holding the pillow if they are willing to begin the conversation by sharing when they had this feeling. Give the child this communication prompt to complete: “I felt [name feeling] when …” Or, “I think some of my friends feel [name feeling] because …” 5. Ask other children who have also experienced this feeling recently to put their hands out.The child who just spoke will pass the feeling pillow to a classmate who is then prompted with: “I felt [name feeling] when …” 6. Talk with the children about things they could say or do to make the feelings smaller or better. Create shows or role-plays where the children can put you in this situation so you can model positive words and ways to make things better. Then reverse roles and have the children practice. 7. Let the children know that you are available for a Kimochis® Check-in whenever feelings get complicated and/or challenging. Reassure the children that it is okay and normal to have upset feelings and that there are things they can learn to do to make things better. KIMOCHIS® RECESS CHECK-IN Once a week (or even daily), it’s a good idea to do a check-in to see if there is a pattern with a child feeling excluded. Remember that some people feel excluded even when no one is actually excluding them intentionally. 1. After recess, ask children to close their eyes and raise their hand if they felt left out today. Ask these children to keep their hand up if they knew what to do to make things better for themselves. Have children open their eyes, then hold up the Left Out and Brave feeling pillows and allow children to share their strategies for dealing with left-out feelings.

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2. 3. 4.

Ask the children to close their eyes again and put their head down. Ask them to raise their hand if they noticed someone else feeling left out at recess. Ask the children to keep their hand up if they tried to include this classmate. Tell the children that if they ever see anyone who looks like they want to play, simply ask, “Do you want to play?” Likewise, tell the children that when they feel left out, they can simply go to any child in the class and say, “That looks fun. Can I play?” Take the Lovey Dove Challenge on pp. 172 for another way to create a positive recess experience. Read through Week 15 and make friendliness the way of your classroom.

KIMOCHIS® WINGMAN Some children are slow to make decisions on where to play or are less confident joining new friends or trying novel play areas. This check-in tool is a tangible way for children to navigate their social world at school. 1. Lovey Dove and Turtle Dove can help you teach the concept of “taking others under your wing.” Bring out Lovey with her baby, Turtle Dove, tucked in the pocket under her wing. Lift the wing so Turtle Dove is visible and ask, “Why do mommy and daddy birds tuck their babies under their wing?” Children will talk about keeping the baby safe or protected. Explain that at school, we can take our friends under our wing to help them feel included, safe, and protected. 2. Ask the children: “What do you like to do at recess?” “Raise your hand if you like to play …” Name an area or game a child just named. “Can anyone who wants to play in the sandbox join you?” Prompt children to say, “Yes.” “Raise your hand if you would like to play in the sandbox too.” “Who would like to take Sadie under your wing and bring her with you to the sandbox?” 3. Now create a role-play or show so the children can practice going up to the friend and saying it is time to go to the sandbox, do they want to come along? 4. Remind the children that when we take someone under our wing: • We invite them to play. • We play. • We walk back to the classroom together. 5. Once you have done the first lesson on “taking others under your wing,” all you have to do before recess is say: “Where is everyone playing? Anyone need to be taken under a wing?” 6. It is a nice touch to occasionally ask the children to share how it felt to be both the wing and the one taken under a wing. Don’t be surprised if you hear one of them say, “I need a wing.” KIMOCHIS® FOR GOOD-BYES AND SEPARATION ANXIETY It’s natural for a young child to feel anxious when saying good-bye to a parent. Explain that although it can be difficult on parents and children, separation anxiety is a normal stage of development. Reassure parents that in early childhood, crying, tantrums, and clinginess are healthy reactions to separation. A little worry over leaving Mom or Dad is normal, even when children are older.

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Let parents know they can ease their child’s separation anxiety by staying patient and consistent, and by gently, but firmly, setting limits. However, if anxieties intensify or are persistent enough to get in the way of school or other activities, a child may have separation anxiety disorder. The early childhood educator is not qualified to diagnose this condition, but can be instrumental in leading parent(s) to a professional who can help. Parents, too, can experience their own form of separation angst as they begin to allow others to be in their child’s life and to have some time without their child. These are complicated and personal feelings and are an important dynamic for the early childhood educator to not only understand, but also to assist with through emotion coaching. When parents can better manage their own feelings, they provide a healthy model for their children so they can be aware of what they are feeling and learn to use positive communication tools to practice resiliency. Developing a “good-bye ritual” can help all children separate with more ease. Rituals are comforting and can be as simple as a special wave through the window or a good-bye kiss. The Kimochis® Nesting Heart can become part of the ritual by having the parent and child create a simple routine of separating the heart and reassuring each other that when they reunite later, they can put their hearts together again! Now when the child is without his/her parent, he/she has a visual and tangible reminder that Mommy and Daddy always come back. The Kimochis® Nesting Heart can also serve as a comforting tool to help a child who is having a particularly hard time functioning at school once his/her parent has gone. Here is a simple, effective lesson to encourage self-soothing, compassion, and kindness to others amid sad feelings over saying good-bye. Communicating from the Heart MATERIALS: Bug; Nesting Heart; Shy, Excited, Happy, and Sad Feelings 1. Tuck Bug’s wings in the pocket in his back and fill his front pouch with the Shy, Excited, and Sad feeling pillows. 2. Begin the lesson by inviting a child to pull a Feeling, one at time, from Bug’s pouch. The order in which the Feelings are pulled doesn’t matter, because this is a way to visually show children that people can have multiple feelings at one time and that they can be mixed. For example, a child can feel excited to see friends, but sad to say good-bye to Mommy or Daddy. You can tell the children that both of these feelings are valid or true and can happen at the same time.The very young child will not completely understand, but it will begin to give the child comfort and understanding about what feelings are and how they work. Put Happy and Excited Feelings on top of Sad Feeling and say, “Sometimes our happy and excited feelings can make our sad feelings smaller.” When Child Pulls the Excited Feeling: 1. Ask all the children to show how their faces can say, “I feel excited.” 2. Say, “Bug feels excited when he gets to go to school.” Ask the children to put their hand out if they want to hold the Excited feeling pillow and share why they feel excited when it is time to go to school. They may need you to say, “I feel excited when it is time for school because …”

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When Child Pulls the Shy Feeling: 1. Again, ask the children to show this feeling on their faces. 2. Say, “Bug feels shy when he goes to new places like school.” Ask the children to put their hand out if they want to hold the Shy feeling pillow and share why they feel shy in new places. They may need you to say, “I feel shy at school when …” Children may be able to participate more if given nonverbal ways to share. Ask the children to clap their hands if they can feel shy when: • Meeting new friends • Learning new games • Using new school materials • Trying something new When Child Pulls the Sad Feeling: 1. Explain that Bug feels sad when he has to say good-bye to his friends and go back to his swimming hole. Ask the children to nod their head if they sometimes feel sad when they say good-bye to people they love. 2. Pass the Sad Feeling to children to finish these prompts. “I feel sad when I say good-bye to my …” Ask if the child has a way to comfort or soothe sad feelings. Explain that these words mean to make the sad feelings smaller or better. Allow children to share ideas. You can demonstrate how Bug talks inside his head (“self-talk”), saying, “My mommy/daddy comes back” to help make his sad feelings smaller. Introducing the Kimochis® Nesting Heart: 1. Share that all people have shy, excited, happy,. and sad feelings. Explain that because school is new and is not home, many children can feel sad when they have to say good-bye to their parent, but they might also feel happy and excited to be at school. Tuck all three of these feeling pillows in Bug’s pouch so you can show that feelings can all happen at the same time. 2. Let the children know that Bug has learned ways to make his sad feelings smaller or better. Reassure the children that they can learn these same tools. 3. Unveil the Kimochis® Nesting Heart and explain that this is a classroom tool that children can use on days when it is especially hard to say good-bye to a parent. Children can ask for the Nesting Heart for their own use or for a friend. 4. Show the children how the heart comes apart and goes back together. Ask the children how they think the Nesting Heart works and how it might make sad feelings a little better. (If necessary, you can show the children how the parent gets one part of the heart and the child keeps the other, to remind them that Mommy and Daddy always come back.) Wrap-Up: 1. Share your confidence in the children. “All of you have learned and practiced ways to comfort or soothe your own sad feelings. You have also learned to be kind and compassionate by offering comfort to our friends when they feel sad. I’m also here to offer comfort or help.”

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USING THE KIMOCHIS® BAG OF FEELINGS Guiding One Child Through Upset Feelings 1. Take only two to three feeling pillows from the Kimochis® Bag of Feelings to put into a bowl or basket. Let one be an emotion the child is obviously not feeling, and choose the others on the basis of what the child appears to be feeling. 2. Describe what you’re observing (as opposed to asking “Wh” questions, like “What happened?”). • “I see a girl who looks upset. Let’s use our Kimochis® to make things better.” 3. Ask the child to identify his/her feeling(s). • “I have three Feelings here—Mad, Disappointed, and Happy.” (Touch each feeling pillow as you say the word so the child can see and hear new vocabulary.) • Ask: “How were you feeling when you grabbed the toy from your friend?” • The child can select a Kimochis® Feeling rather than telling you with words. Children who are scared or sad may find it easier to nonverbally communicate their feeling(s), especially boys. 4. Connect by acknowledging the feeling(s) that fueled the negative behavior. • “Yes, Amy, I would feel mad too if my friend did not share. Peter is still learning how to share.” • Remind the child of the behavior boundary: “Amy, you can never let yourself grab [push, kick, yell, etc.] when you are feeling mad.” 5. Teach new skills with a role-play or show that encourages problem-solving and practice of a new positive communication skill. • Play the role of the child in the upsetting situation so you can model helpful words and actions. Reverse roles so the child can imitate your communication model. “I will pretend to be you, and you pretend to be a boy who forgets to share.” 6. Show pride and admiration for effort and resiliency (holding the Proud feeling pillow). • “Amy, you can feel proud of yourself for practicing helpful, kind ways to communicate with your friends when you feel mad. Because, remember, it is okay to feel mad, but it is never okay to be mean with our eyes, voice, words, or bodies.” Guiding Two Children Through Upset Feelings 1. Invite the children to join you at the Feelings Bowl. Limit the number of pillows in the bowl to no more than five. Remember you can also invite children to the bowl for happy reasons. Two children who can pull positive feelings that arose as they played in the art center. You don’t want children to get the idea that we only talk about feelings when things go wrong. We talk about feelings when things go right too, as we want to encourage these positive play habits that create wondrous feelings! 2. Read the word aloud as you touch each Feeling in the bowl. “Let’s see, we have Happy, Proud, Sad, Sorry, and Frustrated.” 3. Explain that nobody will have to talk, but that this is a time to learn how to say and do the right thing when we feel upset. 4. Ask each child to choose a Feeling(s) from the bowl as a response to this kind of prompt: “Bradley, pull out the Feelings you were having when you and Cobey were playing in the LEGO station.” • Acknowledge feelings. “So you were feeling sad and frustrated. Did I get that right?” • Invite this child to toss those Feelings back into the bowl. • Repeat the above with the second child.

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5. Use active listening, empathy, and curiosity with both children. • “I can see you are both feeling upset.” • Pull out the Sorry feeling pillow and say: “If you wish you had not [describe upsetting behavior], nod your head.” Encourage making things better by passing the Sorry pillow to the child and saying, “You can tell Cobey, either with your eyes or with words, that you wish you hadn’t grabbed when you were feeling sad.” 6. Show pride and admiration for effort and resiliency (holding the Proud pillow). • “Bradley, I admire how brave you are for saying you made a mistake.” • “Cobey, I admire how you listened to why Bradley was feeling mad. That takes courage.” 7. Teach new tools with a role-play or show that encourages problem-solving. • Play the role of the child in the upsetting situation so you can model helpful words and actions. Reverse roles so the children can imitate your communication model. “I would like you both to grab from me so I can show you a kind way to communicate if this happens to you.” 8. Positive deviation to the above steps to use the Kimochis Bowl to teach compassion • You can ask children to “pull” and “show” the feelings they think their friend is having. • Have the other child nod their head if this child got what they are feeling correct. • Ask, “Does it help a little bit to know that your friend understands what you are feeling? This is called compassion.” • If the child did not guess their peer’s feelings correctly, you can invite the child to go into the bowl and pull out and show what they are in fact feeling. Let the children know this is called communication. Reassure, we don’t always know what our friends are feeling, so it helps to tell what you are feeling and/or ask our friends, “What are you feeling?” Kimochis® Soup for Guiding a Group to Problem-Solve or Celebrate 1. Sprinkle all the feeling pillows around an empty bowl, naming each one as you go. “Let’s make a Kimochis® soup!” 2. Select a positive or negative situation, for example, “How are people treating each other on the playground?” Ask children to pick up whatever Feelings represent that situation to them, then toss them in the bowl, to make the soup. This requires no talking, just choosing and tossing. 3. When the bowl is full, pass it around for the children to stir, smell, and pretend to taste. It can be fun to put the soup atop a toy stove if you have one in your classroom. 4. Pull a Feeling from the soup. Have the children respond to this communication prompt: “When [name a situation], someone could feel [name the Feeling pulled].” 5. Pass that feeling pillow around for children to share their best tips and tricks to make upset feelings in the chosen situation smaller or better. For example, “What I do to make things better when I feel sad is …” Then pass positive Feelings around for children to share how to create more of these feelings at school and/or at home. 6. You can also make Kimochis® soup for joyful reasons! For instance, brainstorm all the positive feelings an experience might bring or did bring. For example, “Let’s make a Kimochis® soup about all the feelings we hope to have at the pumpkin patch.”

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KIMOCHIS® SLEEPOVER Marty Ross, kindergarten teacher at Bacich Elementary School in Kentfield, California, created a way for her Kimochis® Characters to have a sleepover at each child’s house. MATERIALS: Tote bag or basket, Kimochis® Characters and Feelings, mini Feel Guide, journal (optional) 1. Each child gets to choose a Kimochis® Character to “invite over” when it’s their turn for a Kimochis® Sleepover. It is interesting to see which Kimochis® Character a child chooses depending on his/her personality. Clearly, though, some children choose a Character just because it is purple, has wings, or its head turns! 2. Together, pack up the sleepover friend and invite the child to choose three feeling pillows to tuck into the Kimochis® Character. Suggest to the child that they help the Kimochis® Character notice these feelings while they are away from school and teach their family about each feeling. 3. On the following page is a simple note you can include in the tote bag so families will know why they have a new visitor for the night. Likewise, include the mini Feel Guide so parents have access to more information about how Kimochis® facilitate good communication.

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Hello, I am happy and excited to be a part of your family tonight for a Kimochis Sleepover! My name is ___________________ and I help children understand and express feelings in positive ways. Kimochi (KEY-MO-CHEE) means “feeling” in Japanese. I am a toy, but really, I am a tool to teach children how to put their feelings into words so they can learn positive ways to resolve conflicts and become healthy, compassionate, confident, happy people! ®

There are five Kimochis Characters, and your child got to choose one to invite over for this sleepover. It might be interesting to ask why your child selected me. The teacher also allowed your child to tuck three feeling pillows of their choice into my pouch. Invite your child to “show and tell” you what they know about each feeling. There are also some playful ideas in the enclosed mini Feel Guide. ®

Most importantly, enjoy the fun and playfulness that we Kimochis can bring to a family. Everyone has feelings. Sometimes they are happy and sometimes not. But when we learn that we can share our feelings and support one another, we give children the gift of connection. ®

Oh … and please remember to send everything back to school on ________________! Thanks for letting me visit your home!


Strategies and Enhancements for Children with Social-Emotional Challenges The Kimochis® Feel Guide: Early Childhood Edition can give children who experience significant challenges in social-emotional development an opportunity to learn the essential skills needed to navigate a complex, and sometimes very difficult, social world. At all ages (preschool through secondary), these are the children who stand out as not “fitting in” with their peers (Klass 2004). They don’t seem to understand their own feelings and are often confused about the emotions of others. Their difficulties with interpersonal skills, emotional regulation, flexibility, perspective-taking, and communication competence can lead to problems forming and maintaining relationships with peers, teachers, and parents. Some children in your classroom who struggle with social-emotional development may have a special education diagnosis. Others may not. Some children may have a diagnosed handicapping condition such as: • Autism Spectrum Disorder • Learning Disability • Pragmatic Language Disorder • Specific Language Disorder • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder • Intellectual Disability A child with social-emotional challenges in the early childhood years may not have a special education diagnostic label unless he/she shows clear physical characteristics or indicators of a specific disability (e.g., cerebral palsy, visual disabilities, hearing impairments, severe intellectual disabilities, or multiple disabilities). However, the child may struggle to use language to express his/her feelings and may have difficulty regulating emotions, resulting in behavioral difficulties. All young children, whether they have a diagnosis or not, can benefit from the skills learned in the Kimochis® early childhood program.

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STRATEGIES AND ENHANCEMENTS WITHIN THE LESSONS Children with significant social-emotional challenges learn and acquire social-emotional skills differently than their typically developing peers. Therefore, included below are strategies and enhancements that can help you adjust the Kimochis® Lessons so they are easily accessible to all children. Application of these strategies and enhancements can be found throughout this curriculum (set off in boxes for ease of location). Behavioral Strategies Children with more intense social-emotional challenges may need active engagement to keep them on-task and interested. For these children, try the following strategies: • Child stands at the front of the room and holds the Kimochis® Character during the lesson • Child hands out the Kimochis® Feelings • Child is involved in the role-play • Child sits near the teacher for more direct prompting • Teacher prompts all of the children to respond chorally These children may have language skills that are delayed or underdeveloped. Be sure to use language and communication strategies that will be understandable to them. These tips might help: • Slow down the rate of your speech to improve comprehension • Use vocabulary that children can understand and explain new vocabulary words well • Repeat words or phrases when necessary • Pause to allow children time to think, especially when asking questions, because they may need more time to process the words • Check to be sure they understand Adjust Sitting Requirements Some children might struggle to sit still and keep their bodies quiet. Try one of these suggestions to help them stay seated on the floor during the Kimochis® Lessons: • Provide individualized carpet squares for each child • Allow child to sit in a chair or stand at the back of the circle • Allow especially active children to hold or squeeze a large pillow in their lap Visual Supports There are many visuals that can help children understand words, language, and communication better. Visual supports facilitate the comprehension and learning of new concepts. They can be tools to give information, manage behavior, provide communication choices, or prompt children to do the right thing. Visual supports are powerful learning tools because they: • Help children to understand what they hear • Support verbal explanations by staying stable over time • Make abstract verbal concepts more concrete • Engage attention • Help children remember what they have learned

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Visual supports can be objects, pictures, icons, photos, schedules, printed routines, reminder cards, highlighted words, labels, and more. Kimochis® Characters and plush Feelings can be considered visual supports. An example of a visual support in the curriculum is the “Wait” card in Week 13, page 157. Social Narratives Social narratives can teach new social skills and encourage children with social-emotional challenges to regulate their behavior through simple stories. Involve the child in writing the narrative and use the first-person voice. Include a sentence that describes the feelings and thoughts of others to help the child learn perspective-taking. You can include the names of important people in a child’s life, describe specific behaviors the child does, and describe particular settings or situations. Be sure to read the social narrative to the child right before the child might need the skill described in the story. For example, a child who hits when others grab in the block area might benefit from a simple narrative about how to use a Talking Hand, page 113. While reading the story, role-play each step with the child to give him/her practice doing the behaviors described in the narrative. Coach and prompt the child to use the positive behaviors suggested in the narrative in situations where needed. Verbally reinforce the child when he/she demonstrates the ability to change behavior. Although you will find examples of social narratives in Appendix F, remember that it is best to individualize the narrative for each child’s age, developmental level, situation, and experience. An example of a social narrative: My Calm-Down Breath “Sometimes I can get really mad. Then I might yell and say hurting words. When I do this, it hurts the feelings of other kids and my teacher. Cloud taught me to use a calm-down breath when I get mad. I can smell a flower and blow out a candle to make my mad feelings smaller. I will try to use my calm-down breath when I get mad.” Social narratives can also be drawings or actual photos (rather than words). Draw pictures or take photos of the child doing the desired behavior in several steps. For example, if you are focusing on getting a child to use the Talking Hand consistently, take three simulated photos: 1. Another child grabbing a toy from the child 2. The child with social-emotional challenges using his/her Talking Hand. For a video example of the Talking Hand, visit the videos section of the Kimochis Educator’s Portal online. 3. The other child giving back the toy Review the “photo story” before an activity where grabbing might happen. If this child struggles with grabbing in certain play areas or at certain times of the day, keep the picture story handy so you can show it to the child as a reminder to use a Talking Hand.

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Homelinks: Building a School-to-Home Connection The Kimochis® Feel Guide: Early Childhood Edition includes a number of ways to support positive parenting and to create strong school-to-home connections. Parents and caregivers are a child’s first and most important teachers. When parents (or caregivers) and early childhood educators are “on the same page,” children receive a consistent message that promotes learning and supports a positive connection. The more communication and teamwork that can occur between parents and early childhood educators, the more children will benefit. HOMELINKS LETTER/HANDOUTS • There are a number of ways for early childhood educators to involve parents in the Kimochis® fun and learning! It is ideal to have a parent meeting that explains the new Kimochis® curriculum (outlined in the rest of this section and detailed in Kimochis® Parent Education Event in Appendix E, page 278). However, some teachers have found it best to keep it simple the first year and hold off on a formal launching event, until they become more familiar with the program and comfortable using the concepts and tools. You’ll also feel more confident introducing the materials to parents once you have personal success stories from your teaching experiences to report. • If you do not plan to have a parent meeting, you can send home the letter titled Introduction to Kimochis® Homelinks: Building a School-to-Home Connection (see Appendix B, page 274). This letter introduces the basic principles behind the Kimochis® curriculum and informs parents about what to expect throughout the school year. • Let families know that you will be sending home a Homelinks handout each week, informing them about the skill or communication habit their child has learned that week. Common vocabulary will be explained and defined so parents and caregivers can use the same words at home. In addition, there will be suggestions for fun ways to reinforce and extend the skills and concepts that their child learned in school that week. • In Appendix C, page275, you will also find a Glossary of Kimochis® Vocabulary, which is a helpful tool to send home to parents so all of the Kimochis® vocabulary is defined in one place. • At the beginning of Unit 2, send home a copy of the Kimochis® Keys to Communication (pages 92 and 277) with the Homelinks handout for Week 6. You can also send this attached to the Introduction Letter (Appendix B, page 274). • In your second year of using the Kimochis® curriculum, you are encouraged to bravely host a Parent Education Event (Appendix E, page 278). Research shows that parent involvement is a critical positive factor in children’s social and emotional growth, and you can help promote this!

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KIMOCHIS® PARENT EDUCATION EVENT If you decide to kick off your Kimochis® curriculum with a Parent Education Event (see Appendix E, page 278 for a comprehensive description of this event), here are some suggestions. Allow 75 minutes for this meeting, which can be held in the evening, after school, or at whatever time works best for you and your families. The intention of this meeting is to: • Gather families together • Educate parents about the importance of social-emotional learning • Introduce the Kimochis® Characters to parents so they can begin to understand how personality and temperament can influence communication style • Explain the Kimochis® Keys to Communication and the Feelings Lessons • Ask parents to fill out the Kimochis® Communication Scale for Parents (see Appendix J) and let them know you will ask them to fill it out again at the end of the school year • Offer parents the opportunity to take the Kimochis® Cell Phone Challenge (see below) KIMOCHIS® CELL PHONE CHALLENGE Cell phones were intended to connect people, but most of us would agree that they have become more of a distraction and a disconnector! Without realizing it, people are looking at their cell phones more and more and looking at one another less and less. Many people use their cell phones, in fact, to hide from shy and awkward feelings. Everyone wants to feel like they matter and count, but some people aren’t as comfortable as others making eye contact and greeting or meeting new people in their efforts to be friendly and inclusive. Likewise, all parents would say they want their child to feel connected and close to them. Yet, unintentionally, many parents have gotten into cell phone habits that are doing quite the opposite. Here is a simple, but profound, activity you can do with parents or your whole school community to help create a campus where everyone feels like they matter and belong. 1. At Family Orientation, Back to School Night, or your Kimochis® Parent Education Event, ask everyone to take out their cell phones as you do the same. 2. Tell parents to pretend to text and then call “Freeze!” to get them to return their attention to you. 3. Ask for a head nod or show of hands from parents who are concerned about what cell phones are doing to our world. 4. Look at your cell phone and pretend to text. Ask parents what it would communicate to them if you were texting or talking on your phone when they arrived for parent meetings or dropped their children off at school. 5. Share observations. Highlight how grown-ups are not only losing opportunities to make eye contact with our children when we’re on the phone, but we are also missing opportunities to acknowledge and engage with others on campus. 6. Clarify that you do not mean to blame or shame anyone, only to encourage a close look at cell phone habits. If you have unhealthy cell phone habits of your own, share them with the group. 7. Ask your families to take this voluntary “Cell Phone Challenge”: When picking up and dropping off children at school, stay off the phone. And suggest that they talk to their children about the challenge, so their kids can see the effort they’re making and remind them to honor their commitment.

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8. 9.

Wrap up by reassuring parents that this challenge is purely voluntary. Acknowledge that there are often valid reasons adults need to be on their phone while on campus. Opting to take the challenge is simply a conscious way to stay emotionally connected to our children and school community. If you work on a school campus, see if your principal is open to designating all or parts of your campus a “No Cell Phone Zone.”

FRIENDLY FAMILIES • At the beginning of the year, ask families to bring in a family photo that can be posted in the classroom. Label the photo with each family member’s first name and the family name. It can be challenging for parents to learn the names of every child and parent in your classroom. This visual aid will give parents an easy and shame-free way to remember names. • Make your classroom a friendly place. You will be teaching your children how to give “Friendly Signals” in Week 1 of the Kimochis® Lessons. Be sure to use positive Friendly Signals with your parents and caregivers. Greet each parent by name and share specific qualities you enjoy about their child. For some parents, this may be their first experience leaving their child with other adults, and that can be emotional. Remember: “Friendly faces create friendly places!” • Invite parents to observe and participate in the Kimochis® Lessons. This will give them an idea of what the lessons are all about and how they might reinforce the learning at home. KIMOCHIS® FAMILY GATHERING • Choose one day of the week when you end the school day with a Kimochis® Family Gathering. • Ask parents to pick up their child 15 minutes early so you can have a Kimochis® Family Gathering. • Invite parents and children to sit in a circle (the child can sit on parent’s lap). • Put all the positive Kimochis® Feelings in the center of your circle, word side up (Happy, Grateful, Proud, Kind, Excited, Loved, Hopeful, Friendly). • Ask all participants to do a drumroll on the floor as you pull a name stick. The chosen child picks a Kimochis® Feeling from the center of the circle and gives it to you. • Show the Feeling. Make a comment about it that is pertinent to the children. If the Excited feeling pillow was picked, for example: • “Yesterday, I saw children feeling excited when we discovered that our tadpole grew legs.” • “If you felt excited today, clap your hands.” (Or another action.) • “Show me your excited face.” • “Make an excited noise.” • “Who wants to share what made you feel excited this week?” Use the prompt, “I felt excited this week when …” (Allow child or parent to hold the feeling pillow while they speak.) • Remind the children that sometimes we have feelings that don’t make us feel good inside. And we use the Kimochis® communication tools to interact with each other in kind, helpful ways. • Pull another name stick. This child takes a Feeling from the Kimochis® Bowl (containing Mad, Sad, Frustrated, Left Out, and Cranky). The child exhibits the emotion on his/her face and everyone imitates. Say, “When we feel [name the feeling], clap your hands if you have a tool to make things better for yourself and others.” • Stand by the classroom door as families leave. Model positive communication behaviors by making eye contact, saying the name of each child and parent, paired with, “Good-bye.” www.kimochis.com

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USE KIMOCHIS® IN PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES • Most parents are very interested to learn how their child is behaving and getting along with other children at school. Consider including the Kimochis® Characters and Feelings in your parent-teacher conferences as a tool to talk about a child’s strengths and challenges. • Open your conference by describing things you enjoy about the child. Choose several positive feeling pillows, such as Happy, Proud, Excited. Share how you have observed their child experiencing these feelings. For example, “Pierre is always happy to play outside in the sandbox. He gets excited when it is music time. I can see Pierre is feeling proud of the way he is learning to …” • Ask parents, “What positive feelings do you notice your child has at school?” Parents can pull feeling pillows from a bowl or basket. Acknowledge that you have seen these feelings too and give specific examples of times you’ve noticed them. • Invite parents to pull any upset Feelings their child is having at school. If you can acknowledge their experience, great. If you have not witnessed these emotions, let them know you will keep on the lookout for them. • Choose two upset Feelings. Describe some scenarios that have created these feelings for this child, along with positive ways you have observed the child working through these feelings. For example, “Kendra can get frustrated when her friends don’t share. But I see her using her words to remind her friends, ‘Remember we share.’ ” Invite parents to respond. Ask, “Do you see Kendra managing her frustration in positive ways at home too? What does she do when she is frustrated that seems to help her?” • Select one upset Feeling that you think this child could readily learn to regulate. For example, “Right now, Phillip can get very mad when waiting for a turn, and he will grab. We are working on helping him practice patience and waiting his turn.” Invite the parents to respond: “Does this sound similar to the way Phillip manages his mad feelings at home? Do you have any helpful hints that seem to make things better when he gets mad?” • Explain that it is expected for a child this age to learn how to manage upset feelings. Reassure parents that these experiences help a child learn the communication tools necessary for managing upset feelings as they grow. These experiences and tools help to build character and resiliency. • Share the temperaments and personalities of the Kimochis® Characters and have parents identify which Character they think their child is most like. Then share with them which Kimochis® Character you think their child is most like at school. Children often show different sides of themselves in different environments. Ask the parents if they can add helpful observations about the nature of their child. Discuss the innate talents and easy-to-manage parts of this child’s temperament and which parts can be tricky. Share any insights you have discovered that honor the child’s temperament and seem to encourage open and positive communication. • Remind parents that you are using the Kimochis® program as a tool to help children learn how to manage and express feelings in ways that will help them make friends and be ready to learn. Share how each child participates in the Kimochis® Lessons. Is the child willing to engage in role-plays? Do you notice the child trying to use the habits learned in the lessons throughout the school day? • Wrap up the Kimochis® part of your conference by reminding parents that they are welcome to join you for Kimochis® Lessons. Remind them that you want to hear how and when their child feels happy or unhappy at school. Let them know that this valuable information can help you make these early learning years a positive experience for their child.

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THE KIMOCHIS LESSONS 速

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UNIT 1

Meet the Kimochis Characters and Feelings ®

Welcome to Kimochis® Way! Kimochis® Way is a place where everyone belongs. It is a place where everyone works together to work out differences. At times, we might have different moods, opinions, ideas, likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams. Because we are different, we have to learn how to work together, express ourselves as individuals and as a group, and communicate as best we can with lovingness and kindness. When we get emotional, sometimes we can slip up. We might react in a way that may upset someone else or cause a misunderstanding. This is always okay on Kimochis® Way. On Kimochis® Way, you always get a do-over! THIS UNIT FOCUSES ON… Introducing the Kimochis® Characters to children. You will tell the story of each Kimochis® Character. Each Character has a favorite food, number, color, and special place where they live on Kimochis® Way. Each Character has a unique temperament and personality. Understanding temperament can help educators understand each child’s individual disposition and style. When children learn about the temperaments and personalities of the Kimochis® Characters, they can begin to understand one another and develop loving kindness and tolerance for differences. Introducing the Feelings for each Kimochis® Character. Each Kimochis® Character has three plush Feelings that help children build their emotional vocabulary, express themselves, and understand others. Just like us, the Kimochis® Characters have communication challenges they are working on. When children understand that we all have unique personalities and communication challenges to improve (including adults!), changes are easier to accept and can be discussed in a shame-free, playful way. Teaching children new communication tools. Each Kimochis® Character will teach children strategies and communication tools fostering positive communication habits which develop their social-emotional skills and emotional intelligence.

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TEMPERAMENT AND PERSONALITY Our personality is what makes us unique. Temperament is the part of our personality we are born with. Temperament refers to how we respond emotionally to people and the environment. It includes characteristics such as activity level, adaptability to new situations, www.kimochis m mood, distractibility, persistence and attentiveness, reactions to events, and how introverted or extraverted we are. These characteristics interact with a child’s environment (home life, culture, parenting styles, early attachments, and school experiences) to shape a child’s personality. For example, a child with an energetic, adventuresome temperament will engage in different social interactions than a child who is more quiet and restrained. © 2011 Plushy Feely Corp.

Each Kimochis® Character has a distinct temperament and personality, just like the children in your classroom. You probably figured out each child’s unique personality in the first few weeks of school! As you introduce the Kimochis®, you may begin to associate certain children with specific Characters. Remember that although we may have predominant characteristics of one temperament, we all share traits from others. You can help guide children to develop their gifts, skills, and talents, as well as help them learn how to manage their temperamental challenges. By creating a classroom environment where all temperaments are valued and supported, you are helping children develop and reach their full potential. It is also important for you to reflect on your own temperament and consider how this might affect your reactions to the children in your classroom. This takes self-reflection and courage! The Kimochis® Lessons will help children understand their own strengths and will provide them with tools to cope with their challenges. As children develop this selfawareness, they will also begin to expand their awareness of others. They can then learn to appreciate the contributions of their peers and understand that differences need to be honored. This awareness will help them show caring and concern for others, establish positive relationships, and handle challenging situations in constructive and ethical ways as they discover their own passion and worth.

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YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO REPRODUCE AND SHARE THIS PAGE © 2014 Kimochis – Plushy Feely Corp. • www.kimochis.com


WEEK 1 LOVEY DOVE PROUD

KIND

FRIENDLY

Lovey Dove is sweet and nurturing and, like all doves, tries to keep the peace. Because she’s a mom, she tends to worry. Lovey keeps her baby, Turtle Dove, tucked gently under her wing. Lovey’s favorite number is 11, and her favorite color is lemon yellow. Lovey feels kind when she helps her friends. Lovey feels happy when she’s helpful. Lovey feels proud when she treats people the way she wants to be treated—kindly and with friendliness! (Hold up each feeling pillow as you share Lovey’s feelings.) LOVEY DOVE IS A GREAT TEACHER! Lovey is the Kimochis® Character who helps children become friendly, proud, and kind. Lovey’s communication challenge is that sometimes she can worry too much. Lovey Dove teaches about proud, friendly, and kind feelings. She also teaches children to: Be Respectful • Feel and share pride • Celebrate others’ feelings of pride Be Responsible • Stay calm when others are upset Be Resilient • Choose positive thoughts • Remind others to redo hurtful interactions Be Compassionate and Kind • Be friendly to everyone at school (not just close friends) • Encourage others to play in fair and fun ways • Be compassionate and kind when you see or hear upset feelings • Act and speak in compassionate and kind ways • Take others under your wing when they need a friend Be Brave • Do the right thing when others are doing the wrong thing • Give and receive compliments

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WEEK 1: MEET LOVEY DOVE THE “LOVEY DOVES” IN YOUR CLASSROOM Every class has children like Lovey Dove. Children who are like Lovey Dove are adaptable, flexible, and generally happy.They are task-oriented and are not easily distracted by others.They are able to cope with new situations and unexpected changes to the routine because their natural tendency is to “go with the flow.” They are naturally nurturing and will offer comfort to those who need it. However, because of their sensitivity, they may become worried, anxious, and concerned when others don’t get along. Children who have a temperament like Lovey Dove’s can be overlooked by educators because they tend to “blend into the background” of a busy school day. Remind yourself to check in with your “Loveys” periodically to be sure their needs are being met and they are getting enough feedback and attention.

Setting the Stage: How Feelings Work OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding of feelings they like having and don’t like having. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Resilient SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Awareness MATERIALS: Two bags: one bag has a smiley face drawn on it and contains Happy, Loved, Excited, Proud Feelings; the other bag has a sad face drawn on it and contains Sad, Mad, Left-Out, Scared Feelings 1. Pre-stuff the bag with the smiley face on it with the following Feelings: Happy, Loved, Excited, Proud. Pre-stuff the bag with the sad face on it with the following Feelings: with: Sad, Mad, Left Out, Scared. 2. Sit in a circle. Explain to your students that everyone has feelings and today you are going to teach them how feelings work. Have children shout out feelings they already know. Confirm that they already know a lot about feelings! 3. Hold both bags so the children can see the faces. Explain that some feelings our bodies like having (hold up the bag with the smiley face) and some feelings our bodies do not like having (hold up the bag with the sad face). Explain, “Everyday, we will have feelings we like and don’t like.” 4. Ask if any student would like to name a feeling their body likes having. If they select a feeling you have in the smiley face bag, pull it out and acknowledge that most people would agree that they like feeling (happy). Share that both grown-ups and children like to have this feeling. 5. Ask if any students would like to name a feeling their body does not like having. Again, if they name a feeling in the bag with the sad face, pull it out and acknowledge that it is true that most people do not like to feel (sad). Share that both grown-ups and children do not like to have this feeling. And, both grown-ups and children will have sad feelings from time to time. 6. Share with your students that feelings come and go. Explain that when we have a feeling our bodies do not like having, we can use a tool to make that feeling a little smaller or a little better. These are called our communication tools. 7. Pull a name stick and have children take turns pulling Feelings from each bag. Have students finish this prompt, “A student in our class could feel left-out when…A student in our class could feel happy when…” Place the Feeling in the center of your circle after it has been discussed. 8. Wrap up this lesson by re-sorting the Feelings back into the two bags. Tell children you are excited to show them fun ways to talk about feelings. 44

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Introduction to the Kimochis

®

OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding that “tools” can help communication. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Respectful SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Awareness VOCABULARY: Kimochis®, Feelings MATERIALS: Kimochis® Bag of Feelings 1. Holding the big, black Kimochis® bag, say, “I brought some toys to share with all of you. Raise your hand if you like toys. My toys are called Kimochis®. Say ‘Key-MO-chee.’ You just spoke Japanese! Kimochi means ‘feeling’ in Japanese.” 2. Say, “We all have feelings inside of us. Today, I feel excited.” Ask, “What are you feeling now?” 3. Say, “These Kimochis® toys are tools. Clap your hands if you have tools at home.” 4. Pull name sticks for children to name tools at home (for instance, hammer or saw). After each, ask all children to pretend to use each tool (hammer motion, etc.). Ask, “How do these tools help us?” 5. Say, “Our Kimochis® tools are going to help us make friends, do our best in school, and know what to say and do when we have feelings our body does not like having. Are you ready to meet our first Kimochis® friend?” Unzip the black bag in a way that gets your children excited and curious to discover who or what is going to come out of the bag. You can make bird noises for Lovey or say, “I think our new friend flys.”

Lesson 1: Meet Lovey Dove and Her Feelings OBJECTIVE: Children will identify Lovey Dove by name and describe her personality and characteristics. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Respectful SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Awareness VOCABULARY: Lovey Dove, Turtle Dove MATERIALS: Lovey Dove, Turtle Dove 1. Introduce Lovey Dove and her baby, Turtle Dove, by sharing Lovey’s story on the previous page. Feel free to share the highlights in a developmentally appropriate way. 2. Describe how Lovey loves to eat healthy snacks and that her favorites are carrot sticks and yogurt-covered raisins. Ask children, “Can you name some other healthy snacks?” 3. Explain that Turtle Dove is adopted and lives safely under Lovey’s wing. 4. Ask children why a mother or father bird keeps its baby under its wing. Explain that at school, we can be kind and take our friends under our wing so that everyone at school feels like they are safe and have kind friends. (See Kimochis® Wingman, page 22.) 5. Tell children that Lovey will help them remember that one of the most important things they will learn at school is how to be kind. Lovey is kind and friendly to all her Kimochis® friends. 6. Pass Lovey around the circle for the children to hug. Chanting “One, two, hug, pass” gives the children structure to keep Lovey moving around the circle. See Week 15 (page 171) if you wish to accelerate the understanding and use of friendliness. See Week 11 (page 141) if you wish to “showcase” kindness as the foundation of your SEL teaching.

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Lesson 2: Lovey Dove’s Proud and Kind Feelings OBJECTIVE: Children will identify proud and kind feelings and describe situations that create those feelings. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Awareness VOCABULARY: Kind, proud MATERIALS: Lovey Dove with Kind and Proud Feelings tucked in her pouch 1. Ask the children what they remember about Lovey Dove. 2. Pull a name stick. If the child takes out the Kind Feeling from Lovey’s pouch, say, “Lovey feels kind when she helps her friends. Clap your hands if you like being kind.” Give an example of a kind act. “Here’s what my face and body look like when I am kind. Show me what your face and body look like when you are kind.” 3. Ask, “Who can come up and share a story with Lovey of when you were kind?” Give the prompt, “I was kind when I …” Child can hold Lovey Dove and the Kind Feeling while sharing. 4. Pull a name stick. If the child takes out the Proud Feeling from Lovey’s pouch, explain what proud means. “Proud is when we do something we feel really good about.” Give an example: “Lovey feels proud when she is helpful to her friends.” 5. Give an example from your life. “I was proud when I …” Show a proud face and body. 6. Say, “Clap if you’ve ever felt proud. Show me your proud face and body.” 7. Ask, “Let’s think of some things we are proud of as a class.” Say, “We are proud because …” Child holds Lovey Dove and Proud Feeling while sharing what they are proud of as a class. Looking into Lovey’s eyes and having something to hold are techniques that encourage talking.

Lesson 3: Lovey Dove Is Friendly! OBJECTIVE: Children will use Friendly Signals, when appropriate, in social situations. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Friendly Signals, friendly, head nod, high five MATERIALS: Lovey Dove with Friendly Feeling tucked in pouch 1. Say, “Last time, Lovey taught us about proud and kind feelings. Today, she will teach us how to be friendly.” 2. Pull a name stick. Child pulls the Friendly Feeling from Lovey’s pouch. Say, “Lovey feels friendly when she meets new people. People feel happy when we send them Friendly Signals.” Explain Kimochis Friendly Signals, demonstrating them one at a time, then have the children imitate each: smile, wave, head nod, high five, “Hello,” and “Hi.” 3. Use Lovey Dove to show Friendly Signals: Wave her wing, nod her head, use her wing to give a high five. Show the Friendly Feeling and remind children that Lovey Dove is kind and friendly. 4. Children can show and create new Friendly Signals for the classroom. 5. Pull two name sticks and ask the children to change seats. Instruct each child to use a Friendly Signal as they pass. For example, “Pass each other and give a high five.” Some children may need prompting or you may need to repeat the model. Continue until all children have had a turn. 6. Wrap up by saying, “Lovey Dove will be watching for children using Friendly Signals!” 7. Invite children to take the Lovey Dove Challenge on page 172. 8. See Week 11: Lesson 1 (page 141) if you wish to solidify the concept that kindness is important for managing emotions. The Kimochis Way is to be kind when others are unkind. 46

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COACH CHILDREN TO USE FRIENDLY SIGNALS DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • •

When children are in new situations (visiting new places at school, meeting a new person), guide them to use Kimochis® Friendly Signals. “Remember, we can smile and wave when we pass by someone.Try to send a Friendly Signal to someone from Ms. Simon’s class.” Prompt the children to use Friendly Signals with children from other classes when on the playground. Say, “We can be friendly to all the kids at our school.” Allow a child to bring the Friendly Feeling to recess and report back on Friendly Signals they experienced, saw, or sent.

• •

When you observe a child using a Friendly Signal, acknowledge their choice by saying, “John, I can see why kids want to play with you.You are so friendly.” At circle time, ask children if they have special Friendly Signals they use in their culture or family. Ask parents and/or caregivers if they have a Friendly Signal that is special in their culture or family. Parents could come to circle time to demonstrate or explain the Friendly Signal to the class.

FRIENDLY SIGNALS AND CHILDREN WITH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES Take a photo of the child doing his/her favorite Friendly Signal. Put the photo in a place that will remind him/her to use the Friendly Signal throughout the day. For example, place it near his/her cubby, at eye level on the door out to the playground, or in view during transition times.

CULTURAL CONSIDERATIONS People from Western cultures tend to be friendly and informal in many social interactions. They may use only first names in greetings and may not use what are considered “titles” (Mr., Dr., etc.), even if the person is older or highly educated. This practice may be considered “discourteous” or “uncultured” by some people in other cultures who have high regard for elders and learned figures (Roseberry-McKibbin 2008).

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WEEK 1: MEET LOVEY DOVE EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Color Lovey Dove and Turtle Dove OBJECTIVE: Children will color and decorate a picture. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (develop and widen repertoire of skills that support artistic expression) MATERIALS: Lovey Dove coloring template, markers or crayons • Copy one Lovey Dove template (see page 42) for each child. Children can color and decorate Lovey Dove and Turtle Dove. Hang the pictures as a reminder for the children to use Friendly Signals. • Children can describe proud, kind, and/or friendly moments for an adult to write on their picture. “I was proud because I …” “I was kind when I …” “I was friendly when I …”

Activity 2: The Friendly Signals Ripple Game OBJECTIVE: Children will use Friendly Signals with peers in a game. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (interact positively with others) MATERIALS: Lovey Dove with Friendly Feeling tucked in pouch • Ask a child to pull the Friendly feeling from Lovey’s pouch. Tell children, “Lovey is very friendly! She likes to wave and give high fives.” • Remind children how a Friendly Signal makes you want to be friendly back. • Tell children this is a no-talking-allowed game. Start by making Lovey Dove wave to the child on your left. Prompt child to wave back. This child then uses Lovey to wave to the child on his/her left. Continue to pass Lovey Dove and the friendly ripple around the circle. • Now send a smile and a wave to the child on your right. Pass this Friendly Signal around the circle. This can be a quick game to do before playground time or anytime to spark friendliness!

Activity 3: Make a Friendly Nest for Lovey Dove OBJECTIVE: Children will practice friendly signals while playing a cooperative game. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Physical Development: Gross Motor Experiences (learn physical games with rules and structure) MATERIALS: Ball of string or yarn, Lovey Dove and Turtle Dove • Have children sit in a circle, either on chairs or on the floor. • Start to make Lovey’s nest by saying, “Hi, Andrew” and using one of the Friendly Signals the children learned in Lesson 3. Hold the end of the yarn and toss the ball to Andrew. • Andrew holds the string, says another child’s name accompanied by a Friendly Signal, and then tosses the ball of yarn to that child. (Help younger children hold on to one part of the yarn/string while they throw the rest of the ball.) • This continues until a nest is made for Lovey. Make the nest strong enough to hold Lovey Dove and her baby, Turtle Dove. Undo Lovey’s nest by throwing the yarn in reverse.

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building a school-to-home connec tion

HOME L I N KS W E E K 1 ®

building a school-to-home connec tion

Meet Lovey Dove ®

building a school-to-home connec tion

This week, the Kimochis® Character named Lovey Dove joined our classroom to teach your child about the feelings proud, kind, and friendly. Lovey is the Character who is sweet and nurturing. She is very wise and calm. She likes to cuddle and make everyone feel better when they are upset. But sometimes Lovey Dove worries. Children who have a temperament like Lovey’s can benefit from staying compassionate and learning to worry less. Lovey taught your child how important it is to greet people using their name and a “Friendly Signal.” Friendly Signals are communication tools, such as a smile, wave, head nod, or saying hello. Being friendly is a rewarding habit that children can learn to develop and use throughout their lifetime. See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

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Common Language Eye contact: Looking at the eyes of others when listening and speaking Friendly Signals: Using gestures and words to convey friendliness: eye contact, head nod, smile, wave, high five, pat on the back

Coach Friendly Signals During Daily Activities • • • • •

When you and your child are in new situations, decide that you both will make a point of making eye contact, smiling, and being friendly to people you don’t know well. Afterward, talk about how people responded and how you felt about being friendly. Give your child a reminder: “I see kids at the park we don’t know. How about giving a Friendly Signal when your eyes meet?” Acknowledge your child when he/she is friendly to others: “Your smile and eye contact let people know you are friendly.” Share how you push yourself to be friendly in new situations: “Today at school, I’m going to be friendly to a few parents I have not met yet.” Afterward, share your experience. You can also encourage eye contact by having your child “talk” to your eyes rather than saying, “Look at me when we are talking.” You can prompt your child by saying, “Tell Mommy’s eyes what happened on the playground.”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • FIND THE FEELINGS. Proud, kind, and friendly are this week’s feelings. Build your child’s emotional vocabulary and awareness by: • Noticing facial expressions and sounds that match these feelings. “Dad’s face is saying he is feeling proud of your generosity.” “That salesperson was friendly with her cheerful voice.” • Talk about when you have these feelings and how to express them. “I like to do kind things and not tell anyone. Today, I took in Mr. Tobin’s garbage can. I bet he will feel happy.” • SHARE PRIDE FOR WHAT YOU VALUE. Share your pride when you observe your child being generous, respectful, responsible, fair, compassionate, patient, kind, resilient, creative. • CREATE A FRIENDLY SIGNALS WEEK. Decide as a family to pay attention to friendliness this week. At meals, bedtime, or when in the car, talk about people who have a “way” of being friendly. How does it feel to be around this person?

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YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO REPRODUCE AND SHARE THIS PAGE © 2014 Kimochis – Plushy Feely Corp. • www.kimochis.com


WEEK 2 CLOUD SAD

HAPPY

MAD

Cloud is a bit moody and unpredictable, just like the weather. When Cloud is happy, he spreads sunshine, but when you turn his head, his sad face signals that he might rain on your parade! Cloud’s favorite number is 9. His favorite color is gray because there are so many shades of it—just like his personality. Cloud feels happy when all of his Kimochis® friends are together. Cloud feels sad when he’s not included. Cloud feels mad when someone takes his toy. (Hold up each feeling pillow as you share Cloud’s feelings.) CLOUD IS A GREAT TEACHER! Cloud is the mood-regulating Kimochis® Character. He helps children learn to use a Talking Face, Voice, and Body and practice keeping a positive connection amid upset feelings. His communication challenge is that he does the wrong thing when he feels mad. He forgets that you can feel mad, but you can’t be mean. Cloud teaches about happy, sad, and mad feelings. Cloud also teaches children how to: Be Respectful • Choose a Talking Face, Voice, and Words, instead of a Fighting Face, Voice, and Words Be Responsible • Use self-soothing strategies to comfort and regulate upset feelings • Choose helping words instead of mean or hurtful words • Redo a moment after using hurtful words and actions • Use helpful actions rather than hurtful actions such as grabbing and pushing Be Resilient • Bounce back when feeling upset • Ask for what you want to resolve upset feelings and solve problems Be Compassionate and Kind • Use eyes and ears to notice others’ upset feelings Be Brave • Do the right thing when having upset feelings • Share sad feelings which can feel vulnerable

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WEEK 2: MEET CLOUD THE “CLOUDS” IN YOUR CLASSROOM Children who have a temperament like Cloud’s can be intense, feisty, and moody. They can respond to their environment and what happens to them in a positive way (very happy) or in a negative way (excessively angry). Children like Cloud can be great to have in your classroom when they are in a “good mood” because they are playful and fun-loving. However, children like Cloud can be challenging. They need to learn that we all experience mad feelings, but we do not have the right to do or say mean things to others. With adult instruction and guidance, children like Cloud can learn strategies to cope with their moods and upset emotions. As they grow and develop, the “Clouds” in your classroom can become leaders and good friends to all!

Lesson 1: Meet Cloud OBJECTIVE: Children will identify Cloud by name and describe his personality and characteristics. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Respectful SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Awareness VOCABULARY: Happy, mad, upset, mean MATERIALS: Cloud 1. Introduce Cloud by reading his story on the previous page. Feel free to share the highlights in a developmentally appropriate way. 2. Tell children that Cloud’s favorite color is gray. Ask children to put their hands on their head if they like gray. Ask children to look around the circle to see if everyone likes gray. Ask, “Is it okay if we all don’t like the same color? Can we still be friends?” Tell children that it is okay to have different ideas or feelings. Being a friend does not mean we always think or feel the same. 3. Show children how Cloud’s head turns when he has happy or upset feelings. Tell children that everyone has happy and upset feelings. (Refer back to the concept of feelings our bodies like having and don’t like having.) Begin to call upset feelings “hard to have” feelings. 4. Tell children that Cloud will help us learn that when we feel mad, it is not okay to be mean. 5. Pass Cloud for the children to hug. Use the “One, two, hug, pass” chant if it seems to help.

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Lesson 2: Cloud’s Happy and Sad Feelings OBJECTIVE: Children will identify the feelings of happy and sad and describe situations that create those feelings. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Awareness VOCABULARY: Happy, sad MATERIALS: Cloud with Happy and Sad Feelings tucked in pouch 1. Show Cloud’s happy face. Pull a name stick. Ask that child to take out the Happy feeling pillow. • Say, “Cloud feels happy when he is with his Kimochis® friends. Raise your hand if you ever feel happy. Everyone show me your happy face. Show me a happy body, hands, feet. Look at all your friends’ happy faces and bodies.” • Ask, “Cloud feels happy when he is with his friends. Who can share a story with Cloud about something that makes you feel happy?” Give the child the prompt, “I feel happy when I …” Child can hold Cloud while sharing the story. 2. Turn Cloud’s face to sad. Say, “Cloud feels sad when he is not included.” Pull a name stick. Have the child take out the Sad feeling pillow from Cloud’s pouch. • Say, “Everyone gets sad once in a while. Look at my sad face and body. Show me your sad face. Look at how everyone looks. Everyone make a sad sound.” • Ask, “Who can share a story of something that makes you feel sad?” • Give the child the prompt, “I feel sad when I …” Child can hold Cloud while sharing the story. • It can help if the child literally tells Cloud’s eyes. This is especially true for shy children.

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Lesson 3: Cloud Calms Downs Mad Feelings OBJECTIVE: Children will use a calm-down strategy when feeling mad. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Resilient SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Management VOCABULARY: Calm-down breath MATERIALS: Cloud with Mad Feeling tucked in pouch 1. Remind children that Cloud is happy and sad. Say, “He can get mad too.” Turn his head. 2. Pull a name stick. Child pulls Mad feeling pillow from his pouch. Show Cloud and the Mad pillow. • Ask, “What is Cloud feeling? Stand up if you have ever felt mad.” (Children stay standing.) • Say, “Cloud feels mad when someone takes his toy.” • “Everyone show me your mad face. Look at all the mad faces.” • “Everyone show me your mad feet, mad hands, mad hair. Make a mad sound.” • Ask children to sit down. 3. Ask, “Who can share a story with Cloud of a time you felt mad?” Use the prompt, “I felt mad when I …” Child can hold Cloud while sharing the story. 4. Tell children that when Cloud feels mad, he has to remember to be kind. Ask, “What can you never do when you get mad [yell, hit, say hurtful words, etc.]? We all need to remember that it is okay to be mad, but it is not okay to be mean.” 5. Say (demonstrating with your body), “It is not okay for us to be mean with our eyes [show Fighting Eyes], our voice [said in a Fighting Voice], our hands [show punching hands], our feet [show kicking feet], or our words [use your fingers to ‘shoot’ words from your mouth]. Cloud will teach us a tool called the calm-down breath, which helps us feel better so we won’t hurt others.” 6. Demonstrate the calm-down breath. Hold your pointer finger under your nose. Say, “Smell the flower [breathe in through your nose] … and blow out the candle [blow out through your mouth]. Look, Cloud feels better already! Let’s practice together.” 7. Pull name sticks for children to practice the calm-down breath. Model so children can imitate.

Calm-down breath

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COACH THE CALM-DOWN BREATH DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • • • •

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Prompt children to use the calm-down breath when needed in social situations. Remind children to use the calm-down breath at difficult times, like recess or free-choice time. Guide children to follow the flower/candle prompt described earlier. Acknowledge children when they use the calm-down breath. At the end of the day, recognize children. “Today, I saw Joe use his calm-down breath. It helped his mad feelings get smaller.” © 2014 Kimochis-Plushy Feely Corp.

CALMING STRATEGIES FOR CHILDREN WITH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES Children with challenging behaviors may need different strategies, such as: • • • • •

Invite them to go to the Kimochis® Corner and hug Cloud or squeeze the Mad Feeling. Say, “Take a big breath, squeeze your whole body (every part!), hold it, then let out a huge breath.” Suggest that they knead clay or Theraputty® (a special putty for hand-strengthening). Allow them to do a physical movement, such as walking/running (safely), bouncing on a therapy ball, swinging. Write a social narrative that explains how the child can use a calm-down strategy (see Appendix F, page 283 for sample social narratives).

CALMING IS AN IMPORTANT LEARNING STRATEGY One of the most difficult tasks of emotional literacy is controlling anger and impulses (Joseph and Strain 2010). It requires a child to remain calm in addition to recognizing the arousal that is occurring in his/her body and activating the cognitive process of thinking: “I need to take a calm-down breath.” However, children who are able to cope with their emotions in a positive way not only have an easier time with disappointments, frustrations, and hurt feelings that occur so frequently in the lives of preschoolers, but they also have an easier time relating to other children and adults at home, in school or child care, and on the playground (National Research Council and Institutes of Medicine 2000).

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WEEK 2: MEET CLOUD EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Color Cloud OBJECTIVE: Children will color and decorate a picture. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (develop and widen repertoire of skills that support artistic expression) MATERIALS: Cloud coloring template, markers or crayons • Copy one Cloud template for each child (see page 52). Children can color and decorate. Hang the pictures as a reminder for the children to be kind and use their calm-down breath. • Children can describe happy, mad, or sad moments for an adult to write on their picture. “I was happy because I …” “I was mad when …” “I was sad when I …”

Activity 2: Book Appreciation OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (read books in an engaging manner) Recommended Books: • Cloud’s Best Worst Day Ever by Kimochis® (ages 3–6). Cloud’s day begins as the best ever until a problem arises and he gets mad. Can Cloud cope with mad feelings and be kind? • Cool Down and Work Through Anger (Learning to Get Along series) by Cheri J. Meiners (ages 4–6). This book helps children build skills for coping with anger in helpful, appropriate ways. • I’m in Charge of Me! (The Best Me I Can Be series) by David Parker (ages 3–5). This book helps children to see the positive effect their choices have on others and how they see themselves in the world.

Activity 3: Mad Animals OBJECTIVE: Children will participate in pretend play. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (learn new concepts and vocabulary related to drama) • Play this game outside so children can move around without too many bumps. • Name an animal. Pretend to be that animal and to be mad. Show what the animal might look and sound like if it was mad: “I am a mad lion.” Roar and move your head like an angry lion. • Now ask children to be a mad lion. Ask children to pretend to be other animals—a dog, cat, snake, bear, tiger, elephant, shark, and gorilla. • Ask children to think of other animals. Tell them to keep the animal a secret. Have them act out the mad animal as the others try to guess the animal.

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building a school-to-home connec tion

HOME L I N KS W E E K 2

Meet Cloud ®

building a school-to-home connec tion

®

building a school-to-home connec tion

This week, the Kimochis® Character named Cloud joined our classroom to teach your child about the feelings happy, sad, and mad. Cloud is the Kimochis® Character who can be moody, so sometimes it is hard for him to get along with his friends. When Cloud is happy, he spreads sunshine everywhere, which makes everyone feel fantastic! But when Cloud feels mad or sad, he might snap or yell. Because he has a hard time controlling his anger, he might do things that hurt feelings, even though he doesn’t mean to. Cloud helps children develop patience, tolerance, and understanding for friends who are still learning how to express upset feelings in positive, healthy ways. Children who have a temperament like Cloud’s can benefit from learning how to manage upset feelings. This week, your child learned to do the “calm-down breath”: Put your finger to your nose and say, “Smell a flower [breathe in through nose] and blow out the candle [blow out through mouth].” This can help upset feelings get smaller and raise the odds that your child will speak and act in ways that will communicate anger without being hurtful.

See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

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Common Language Calm-down breath: Strategy of taking a deep breath to calm feelings before speaking or acting

Coach the Calm-Down Breath During Daily Activities • • •

Remind your child to take a calm-down breath when needed. “Stephen, let’s take a calm-down breath.” (Take one yourself so you are doing this together.) Model and tell your child when you need to take a calm-down breath. “Daddy is going to take a calm-down breath so I can make sure I can talk calmly because I feel mad.” Acknowledge when you see your child use a calm-down breath. “Did you take a calm-down breath? I notice you are feeling mad, and you are talking to me so calmly!”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • • •

BLOW OUT THE CANDLES. Children love blowing out birthday candles.This is the same action as using the calm-down breath. For fun, light as many candles as you can find, or bake a cake and add many candles. Take turns with your family using your calm-down breath to blow out the candles! MARCHING MADNESS. With your family, describe things that can make you feel mad. Show your child how you can use your body in positive ways to shift the madness to a smaller place. March in place and say, “I feel so mad because …” (name something that can make you mad). Let your child march out madness by imitating your marching model. BASKET OF COMFORT. Talk to your child about sad feelings. Explain that everybody feels sad sometimes, so we need to learn ways to soothe or comfort those sad feelings. Share what you say and do to feel comforted when you feel sad. Ask your child to describe what he/she does. Use a basket to collect things from around your home that might comfort feelings of sadness. Some suggestions: happy pictures, bandages, comfort toys, a favorite storybook, a stuffed animal, music. Now you have this “go to” basket of comfort next time your child needs soothing and comfort for sad feelings.

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Keys to Communication for Early Childhood

GET SOMEONE’S ATTENTION

USE A TALKING VOICE

USE A TALKING FACE AND BODY

CHOOSE HELPING WORDS

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UNIT 2

Kimochis Keys to Communication ®

THIS UNIT FOCUSES ON … Introducing the Kimochis® Keys to Communication. These keys, though simple, will provide children the skills to have a lifetime of positive relationships and connections. Even small improvements can provide powerful, positive changes in a child’s life. Introducing the common vocabulary and communication strategies built into the keys. The keys provide a concrete vocabulary that everyone can understand and use. Young children are developing language and are learning to use communication to build relationships, resolve conflicts, and negotiate. When children begin to have control over their communication, they understand that positive language and communication can bring them positive outcomes. Building character and social-emotional learning. The keys are the communication tools that provide the “vehicle” to build social-emotional skills and to develop emotional intelligence. Helping children learn how to use the keys in everyday communication. When children can become fluent in using the keys, they can listen openly, make positive choices, be willing to speak in respectful and responsible ways, and be open to negotiating problems. This is peace in action.

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THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN COMMUNICATION AND SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL SKILLS Children in early childhood are rapidly developing language, communication, social, and emotional skills, as well as other important developmental skills. Lois Bloom, a well-respected m researcherwww.kimochis in the field of language development, states, “The acquisition of language is, itself, embedded in other cognitive, social and emotional developments that occur at the same time” (Bloom 2000). Language is the foundation of communication because we send many messages through spoken words. However, much of our communication is nonverbal, such as tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, body language, and even the way we dress! Because the ability to interpret and effectively use all these communication channels is learned by young children within a social context, communication and social-emotional development are inextricably linked (Pruden, 2006). © 2011 Plushy Feely Corp.

As children acquire language, they develop the communication skills to interact with others. To gain acceptance and join in peer play, a child needs to have the ability to communicate the right words (verbal communication) in the right way (nonverbal communication). In fact, research has shown that the communication skills of young children are directly related to their popularity and acceptance by other children (Landy 2009). In addition, researchers have found that children who make nonverbal mistakes (i.e., poor eye contact, standing too close, using confusing facial expressions or an unfriendly tone of voice) don’t fit in with peers and are rejected more frequently (Torppa 2009). Children learn about the power of words in communication as their vocabulary grows. With a wider choice of words, they are able to more effectively express their anger and frustration. As a result, tantrums decrease, behavior improves, and peer interactions become easier. Children are learning to think before they speak by choosing what to say and how to say it. Caregivers and educators must teach young children positive communication strategies. Research has shown that a child’s social reputation is typically established by 4–5 years of age and can be difficult to change later (Landy 2009).

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WEEK 6: KEY 1 HUGGTOPUS TEACHES HOW TO GET SOMEONE’S ATTENTION WHY KEY I IS IMPORTANT Belonging is a human desire and the foundation for confidence and well-being. Hearing our name gives us a sense of belonging and alerts us to look at the speaker. Eye contact engages the listener and speaker and helps to make a communication connection. Friendly eye contact will increase the odds that children and adults will listen to each other during challenging social moments. Sometimes calling someone’s name is not enough to get their attention. When children learn how to use a gentle tap on the shoulder to get the attention of peers, teachers, and parents in an appropriate way, they are developing positive, relationship-building communication strategies. A helpful way to encourage eye contact when a child speaks without it is to have the child tell the story to your eyes. For example, “Tell my eyes the story of what happened on the playground.”

Lesson 1: Use Names and Eye Contact OBJECTIVE: Children will call a person’s name and wait for eye contact before speaking. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Respectful SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Attention, name, eye contact MATERIALS: Huggtopus, Lovey Dove 1. Say, “Sometimes Huggtopus talks without getting the attention of her friends. Watch.” 2. Turn Lovey Dove away from Huggs. Make Huggtopus say, “ ‘Hey, do you want to go play with the blocks with me?’ Uh-oh … Lovey didn’t know that Huggs was talking to her. Why?” (Because Huggs didn’t call her name and wait for eye contact before speaking.) 3. Make Huggtopus call Lovey’s name. Make Huggs wait for Lovey to turn and make eye contact before she asks if she wants to play. 4. Tell the children, “It is important to get someone’s attention before we speak. When we call someone’s name and then they look you in the eye in response, it is called eye contact.” Ask children to imitate the following: Put your right pointer and middle finger to your eyes (in a V shape) and then turn them so they are pointing at the children. At the same time, say, “Eye contact.” 5. Say, “Huggtopus is going to say your name, and you can practice saying ‘Hi, Huggtopus’ and making eye contact.” Walk around the circle with Huggtopus and make her say hello to each child by name. Give the children a chance to practice saying Huggs’s name in return and making eye contact with Huggs. 6. Pull two name sticks. Give Huggtopus to one child. Prompt that child to go to the other and have Huggs say, “Hello, [child’s name]” and make eye contact. Pull name sticks until each child has a turn using a peer’s name and making eye contact. Allow children to pass if they are not ready to try. 96

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Lesson 2: The Communication Tap OBJECTIVE: Children will use a Communication Tap, if needed, to get someone’s attention. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Respectful SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Communication Tap, attention MATERIALS: Huggtopus 1. Say, “Last time, we practiced calling someone’s name and making eye contact. Now we will practice making sure we have someone’s attention before we talk. That helps that person listen.” 2. Teach the children to do three gentle taps on the person’s shoulder. Ask children to show their pointer finger and tap three times on their own shoulder first. Start the Communication Tap game by using one of Huggs’s legs to get the attention of the person on your right. 3. Have children pass the tap around the circle first with Huggtopus and then without. 4. If you can predict that a child might not like a Communication Tap because of sensory sensitivities, say, “Some kids might not like to be touched when someone wants their attention. Raise your hand if you would like your friends to get your attention another way.” Show other ways to get another’s attention, such as standing in front of them or calling their name again.

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Lesson 3: Let’s Practice Getting Attention OBJECTIVE: Children will use the “getting attention” tool in predictable situations. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Respectful SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: “Sorry,” “Thanks,” eye contact MATERIALS: Huggtopus 1. Explain to the children that sometimes friends feel excited like Huggtopus, and they accidentally cut in front of you in line. This is a good time to use our Communication Tap, call the friend’s name, and wait for eye contact. Demonstrate by having Huggs cut in front of you so you can model the strategy. 2. Pull two name sticks and ask the children to get in a line. Use Huggtopus to cut in the line. Prompt the child that Huggs cut in front of to: use the Communication Tap, call name, use eye contact, and say, “Huggs, I was here.” Have Huggs make eye contact, say, “Sorry,” and then move to the back of the line. Prompt the child to maintain eye contact with Huggs and say, “Thanks.” This keeps a positive connection. 3. Ask, “What did Huggs do? What did [name of child in line] do?” Have them name each step. 4. Give others the opportunity to practice using the Communication Tap in lines when they are cut. 5. Practice the Communication Tap in other situations, like washing hands at the sink or finding seats.

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COACH KEY 1 DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • •

Transitions are times when children might get too close to each other or need to get another’s attention. Practice Key 1 several times with some simple role-plays before making a difficult transition. When children start to use the Communication Tap, acknowledge them directly: “I just noticed that you used the Communication Tap when someone cut in line.That worked!”

SENSITIVITY TO TOUCH Some teachers prefer that children do not touch each other or them. If this is your preference, tell children to wait to get eye contact before speaking. When children come to you for questions or requests, say, “Say my name and wait for me to look at you before you speak.” You may have a child who does not like touch.Tell the other children, “Juan does not like the Communication Tap.” Children need to call his name and wait for eye contact before talking.

EYE CONTACT FOR CHILDREN WITH AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER Eye contact may be hard for these children. Forcing a child with ASD to make eye contact will not be successful, as many adults with ASD report that eye contact is actually uncomfortable. Children may learn to look at someone who calls their name, but they may be so focused on the eye contact (because it does not come naturally to them) that they miss what the person is saying. If a child is able to attend and respond to a request for attention without giving eye contact, understand that that child has a different way to communicate attention.

CULTURAL CONSIDERATIONS Different cultures interpret direct eye contact in different ways. In Western cultures, children are expected to look at teachers during conversation and instruction. In Asian and Native American cultures, direct eye contact may be considered rude or challenging. In Pacific Island cultures, prolonged eye contact can be interpreted as a sign of disrespect. In Arab cultures, direct eye contact shows truthfulness and an interest in what is being said (Roseberry-McKibbin 2008). Names: The pronunciation of a child’s name may be difficult. Be sure to learn how to correctly pronounce a name that might have a unique pronunciation (Roseberry-McKibbin 2008).

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WEEK 6: KEY 1 EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Which Kimochis Character Do I Like? ®

OBJECTIVE: Children will become familiar with print concepts. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (become familiar with print throughout the classroom) MATERIALS: Poster board, small pictures of each Kimochis® Character, marker • This activity will help children recognize their own and their classmates’ names in print. • Make an Our Kimochis® Friends chart with a column for each Kimochis® Character. Glue a picture of each Character atop each column. Ask children who their favorite Character is and place their name in that column. • Talk about how we all have preferences and that we all may not like a certain Character best. • Prompt children to try to read their own and others’ names on the chart (give them the sound of the first letter as a clue). • You can revisit the chart periodically to see if the children have a new favorite Kimochis® Character.

Activity 2: Pass the Feelings OBJECTIVE: Children will make a face and sound that depicts a feeling. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (regulate emotions and behaviors) MATERIALS: Music and Proud, Hopeful, Happy, Mad, Sad, Silly, Frustrated, Brave, Left Out, Cranky, and Curious Feelings • Arrange children in a circle. • Pass a Feeling around the circle as music plays. Laughing and giggling are encouraged! • Stop the music. Go to the child holding the Feeling. Read the name of it out loud and have everyone repeat it. Demonstrate the emotion with your facial expression. Have the children imitate you. • Child then tosses that feeling pillow in the center of the circle. • Keep playing until all the Feelings have been passed and are in the center of the circle.

Activity 3: Tap, Tap, Tap OBJECTIVE: Children will identify peers only by listening to their voices. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Social Studies (foster sense of self and others) MATERIALS: Blindfold (optional) • Arrange children in a circle. • Pull a name stick. That child comes to the center of the circle. Put the blindfold on that child, as long as they’re comfortable with that (if not, that child can just close his/her eyes). • Pull another name stick, but don’t announce the second child’s name. Instead, point to the second child to indicate that they should also come to the center of the circle, behind the blindfolded child. The second child is to say the blindfolded child’s name followed by a Communication Tap. • The blindfolded child guesses who it is! Continue to pull name sticks until everyone has had a turn.

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building a school-to-home connec tion

HOME L I N KS W E E K 6

Key 1 ®

building a school-to-home connec tion

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building a school-to-home connec tion

This week, your child learned the first Kimochis® Key to Communication: Get someone’s attention. Your child learned that when we want to get someone’s attention, it is important to call that person’s name.This alerts the person to look. If your child waits for the person to look or make eye contact before speaking, it increases the odds that the people communicating will really listen to each other. Sometimes calling someone’s name is not enough.Your child learned to use a gentle tap on the shoulder to get attention. When your child knows that the listener is ready to listen, the likelihood of having a positive connection is increased. These are the three communication habits your child learned: 1. Call the person by name. 2. Wait for eye contact before speaking. 3. Use a Communication Tap (a gentle tap on the shoulder two or three times) to gain attention or eye contact. Now it’s time to speak because we are both focused on the communication interaction.

See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

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Common Language Eye contact: Looking at others’ eyes when listening and talking Communication Tap: A light, gentle tap on the shoulder of another as a way to get their attention

Coach Key 1 During Daily Activities • • • • • •

Practice with your child. Don’t make eye contact when your child speaks until he/she calls your name. Say, “Oops, you forgot to call my name to get my attention.” Turn and make eye contact when your child calls your name. Show your child that you will use these communication habits by being in the same room as your child, calling his/her name, and waiting for eye contact before speaking. Show respect by waiting to get your child’s attention if they are speaking to someone and/or focused on something. Stand near so your child notices you and say, “Jamal, I see you are coloring. Is this a good time to talk about our day?” Clearly, if you need your child’s attention, get it. But children learn by observing, so modeling respect through the use of these communication habits is an indirect way to teach your child to use them. When children start to use the Communication Tap, acknowledge them directly: “I just noticed that you used the Communication Tap when someone cut in line. That worked nicely!” Smile and compliment your child when he/she uses the new communication habits effectively. You can also encourage eye contact by having your child tell their story to your eyes. You can prompt your child by saying, “Tell Mommy’s/Daddy’s eyes what happened on the playground.”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • • •

SHARE THE STORY OF ONE’S NAME. Children love to hear stories. Share with your child how you came up with his/her name. Tell the story of where your name came from. TAKE THE NAME CHALLENGE. Family members learn the names of people at school. Each week, have your child share the name of one person from school you don’t know, then say, “Hello, [person’s name].” In turn, tell your family members the names of people you met that week and how you enjoy meeting new people. FACE TO FACE. Tell your child that you will make sure you are in the same room and only speak when you have eye contact and attention. Say, “I might forget because this is something new.” Your child can compliment you when you remember or say, “Oops, you forgot eye contact.” Smile, say “Thanks,” and start over!

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GET SOMEONE’S ATTENTION


WEEK 7: KEY 2 CAT TEACHES HOW TO USE A TALKING VOICE WHY KEY 2 IS IMPORTANT Research tells us that 30% of our communication is sent through our tone of voice. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. When we speak, other people “read” our voices in addition to listening to our words. Young children learn how their tone of voice can make a social challenge bigger or smaller. They can also learn to listen for the “real” message that another’s tone of voice conveys. Young children are learning to regulate their behaviors (and emotions) by using cognitive strategies to control their impulses and to act according to moral standards. With adult guidance, most 4-year-olds can learn to regulate the volume and the tone of their voice in uncomplicated and non-challenging social situations. This regulation may be difficult in situations that are highly charged or emotionally loaded.

Lesson 1: Talking Voice vs. Fighting Voice OBJECTIVE: Children will identify the difference between a Talking Voice and a Fighting Voice. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Respectful SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Awareness VOCABULARY: Fighting Voice, Talking Voice MATERIALS: Cat, Cloud, Bug, Huggtopus, Lovey Dove 1. Say, “Last week, we learned how to get someone’s attention. This week, Cat will teach us how to use a Talking Voice.” 2. Have Cat say a few different short phrases alternating between a Talking and a Fighting Voice. After each demonstration, ask the children to identify what kind of voice Cat used by responding to, “Did Cat use a Talking Voice or a Fighting Voice?” Confirm which kind of voice Cat used so the children hear the two new vocabulary terms frequently. 3. Ask, “How do you feel when Cat chooses a Fighting Voice?” Tell children that it is kind to use our Talking Voice even when we feel upset. Explain that a Talking Voice makes it easier for people to listen to us. Say, “Clap your hands if you like it when people listen to you.” 4. Continue to practice having Cat say phrases commonly used by the children. Again, alternate for children to identify between a Talking and a Fighting Voice. (For example, “Please move.” “That’s mine.” “It’s my turn.” 5. Wrap up by saying, “When we use a Fighting Voice, it’s hard for people to listen, and it can hurt feelings.”

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Lesson 2: Pass the Kimochis

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OBJECTIVE: Children will use a Talking Voice when requested in practice situations. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Responsible SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Management VOCABULARY: Fighting Voice, Talking Voice MATERIALS: Music and Cat, Cloud, Huggtopus, Bug, and Lovey Dove 1. Say, “We learned about the Talking Voice. Now we will see if Cat can use her Talking Voice.” 2. Children sit in a circle. Start to pass Cat around the circle while music is playing. When the music stops, the child holding Cat stands up (if you don’t have music, just say, “Stop”). 3. Ask, “What do you like to eat, Cat?” Instruct the child holding Cat to have Cat answer in a Talking Voice. Always acknowledge the child by saying, “Thanks for using your Talking Voice, Cat,” so that children get to hear the new communication vocabulary multiple times. 4. Use another Kimochis® Character to pass around the circle and let others have a turn. 5. Note: Some children will require you to whisper things Cat would say in response to your questions. Give them the words!

Lesson 3: In My Way! OBJECTIVE: Children will use a Talking Voice in predictable situations. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Responsible SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Management VOCABULARY: Talking Voice, kind MATERIALS: Cat 1. Sit the children on the floor in rows, rather than in a circle. Sit toward the back of the group. Place Cat in front of your face so you can’t see (you are looking at Cat’s back). 2. Say to Cat in a Fighting Voice, “I can’t see!” Then say to the children, “What did I do?” 3. Have Cat get in your way again. This time, say, “Cat” in a Talking Voice, give a Communication Tap, and turn her to make eye contact. Use a hand gesture (place flat hand at about eye level and slowly bring it down) to indicate, “Sit down,” but do not say the words. When Cat sits down, softly whisper “Thanks.” Ask the children what you did this time. Ask the class to imitate the hand gesture. 4. Pull a name stick and place Cat in front of the child. Prompt him/her to use the Communication Tap, call Cat’s name, wait for eye contact, and use the hand gesture to get Cat to sit down. Pull additional name sticks so other children have the chance to practice. See Week 18, Lesson 2 (page 194) to teach Serious Voice as the next advanced step to control tone of voice.

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COACH KEY 2 DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • • •

Tell the children each morning that we will be practicing using our Talking Voices when we are playing and working with our friends. Guide children to use a Talking Voice. When you hear a Fighting Voice, name it by saying, “Oops, use a Talking Voice. Thanks.” When you hear a child using a Talking Voice, acknowledge their effort by saying, “I can see you are feeling mad, and I admire how you are using your Talking Voice!”

TEACHER TIP: INDOOR VOICE Many educators teach children to use an “indoor voice” as a way to regulate volume. The Talking Voice is about tone of voice and how to make the tone of your voice sound patient, accepting and friendly. Children can learn to discriminate between tone and volume. If you use the term “indoor voice,” continue to use the prompt when children use a loud voice. When children use a tone of voice that is not kind, prompt them to change by saying, “Remember, we use our Talking Voices.”

TONE OF VOICE AND CHILDREN WITH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES Children with special needs may have difficulty monitoring their tone of voice because this can take a high level of awareness. Draw a simple picture of a happy face with a “calm” talking bubble above the head. Make another next to it that shows an angry talking bubble. You can put a few simple words in the bubbles or leave them blank. Show this reminder card to the child before difficult times when he/she might accidentally use a Fighting Voice.

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WEEK 7: KEY 2 EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: My Talking Voice, My Fighting Voice OBJECTIVE: Children will differentiate between a Talking Voice and a Fighting Voice. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (creative expression through drama) MATERIALS: Any type of recording device (smartphone, tape recorder, etc.) • Record children using their Talking Voice and their Fighting Voice. Give each a phrase to say, such as, “That’s mine,” “My turn,” “Move over,” or “I can’t see.” • Play the voices back for the group. Ask children if they can identify who was talking. Then ask the children if they heard a Talking Voice or a Fighting Voice. Ask which feels better to hear. • Also videotape children using the Characters in a show using their Talking or Fighting Voices.

Activity 2: The Feeling Train OBJECTIVE: Children will match facial expressions and body language to emotions. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (recognize and name feelings) MATERIALS: Cat with Happy, Mad, Sad, Silly, Scared, and Frustrated Feelings • Ask children if they would like to board the Kimochis® Feeling Train. Instruct the children to line up behind you. You and Cat (with Feelings tucked in her pouch) are the conductors. • Say, “All aboard” and prompt children to say, “Chug-a-chug-a, chug-a-chug-a …” as they start moving along behind you, making arm movements to match the train noises. • Pull the whistle to stop the train: “Whoo-whoo.” Reach inside Cat’s pouch and pull out a Feeling. • Read the Feeling and have the children repeat it. Make a facial expression and have the children imitate you. Invite them to go on the [name Feeling] Train. For example, “All aboard the Silly Train.” • Start moving and make the same noises, but this time, show the feeling with your facial expression. • Pull the whistle to stop the train again, pick a new Feeling, and repeat!

Activity 3: I’m a Kimochis Kid ®

OBJECTIVE: Children will identify emotions in peers. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (develop a sense of curiosity) MATERIALS: All Kimochis® Characters, Sorry Feeling, music • Children stand in a circle with the Kimochis® Characters in the center. • Explain that you have put the Sorry Feeling in one Character’s pouch. Say, “The Kimochis® Characters feel sorry when they accidentally use a Fighting Voice because it hurts feelings.” • Pull five name sticks. These children choose a Kimochis® Character to hold. Each looks in the Characters’ pouches to see if they have the Sorry Feeling. Other children close their eyes. Be sure to tell the children with Characters not to say anything if they find the Sorry Feeling in their pouch! • Turn on music. Children march in a fighting way with their legs (not arms). Stop the music, and each child with a Character says, “I’m a Kimochis® Kid.” Only, the child with the Sorry Feeling says it in a Fighting Voice, not a Talking Voice. The others guess who has the Sorry Feeling. Continue playing until all children have a chance to be a Kimochis® Kid! 108

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building a school-to-home connec tion

HOME L I N KS W E E K 7

Key 2 ®

building a school-to-home connec tion

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building a school-to-home connec tion

This week, your child learned the second Kimochis® Key to Communication: Use a Talking Voice. This key helps children stay aware of how they use the tone and volume of their voice. Sometimes when we have upset feelings, it is easy to yell or use a tone of voice that makes the situation worse instead of better. The lesson this week taught your child how to use a Talking Voice rather than a defensive, aggressive, or Fighting Voice (see definitions on back). When we feel upset and are able to use a Talking Voice, we raise the odds that others will want to understand our feelings and resolve conflicts. Your child also learned how to pay attention to the tone of voice of others as a way to understand the emotion behind the words.

See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

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Common Language Talking Voice: A calm tone of voice, slightly slowed down with appropriate volume that conveys respect and problem-solving Fighting Voice: A loud, hurtful tone of voice that conveys aggressiveness

Coach Key 2 During Daily Activities • • • •

Before play, remind your child to use a Talking Voice. “When Jane comes to play, remember to use a Talking Voice when you choose toys.” Guide children to use a Talking Voice. When you hear a Fighting Voice, name it by saying, “Oops, use a Talking Voice. Thanks.” Tell your child how you keep a Talking Voice when you feel upset. “Right now, I had to remind myself to use my Talking Voice because I am frustrated.” When you hear a child using a Talking Voice, acknowledge the effort by saying, “I can see that you are feeling mad. I admire how you are using your Talking Voice!” Admire people who use a Talking Voice regularly. “I appreciate the way Daddy is patient with me by using a Talking Voice when I make mistakes.”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • PLEASE PASS THE TALKING VOICE. Be playful at dinner to help your child tune in to the difference between a Talking Voice and a Fighting Voice. When a family member requests something at the table, they can use a Talking or a Fighting Voice. If a Fighting Voice is used, every one can scrunch up their face and say, “Fighting Voice.” • I HEAR A FIGHTING VOICE. From time to time, challenge your family to hear and notice Fighting Voices in the world. When you hear a Fighting Voice, make eye contact with each other and whisper, “Fighting Voice.” Later, discuss what this person might have been feeling to use their Fighting Voice in public. Discuss what happens when we forget our Talking Voice. • QUIET AS A MOUSE MEAL. Decide to make a family meal the “Quiet as a Mouse Meal.” Everyone has to whisper the entire time. Whispering gives your child the experience of changing and controlling his/her voice, which is necessary when trying to use a Talking Voice when feeling upset.You can change the game (and its name!) for different meals—use cranky voices at a “Cranky as a Crab Meal” or whining voices at a “Squeaky as a Wheel Meal.” This may sound silly, but it will give your child practice changing and controlling the tone and volume of his/her voice.

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USE A TALKING VOICE


How Are You Feeling? BRAVE

CRANKY

CURIOUS

DISAPPOINTED

EMBARRASSED

EXCITED

FRIENDLY

FRUSTRATED

GRATEFUL

GUILTY

HAPPY

HOPEFUL

HURT

INSECURE

JEALOUS

KIND

LEFT OUT

LOVED

MAD

OPTIMISTIC

PROUD

SAD

SCARED

SENSITIVE

SHY

SILLY

SLEEPY

SORRY

SURPRISED

UNCOMFORTABLE


UNIT 3

Kimochis Feeling Lessons ®

THIS UNIT FOCUSES ON … Teaching the meaning of the Kimochis® kotowaza. Each Kimochis® Feeling is accompanied by a kotowaza, a Japanese proverb or saying. These sayings remind children (and adults!) how to handle emotional moments in positive ways, prompting them what to do and say in challenging social situations. Kimochis® kotowaza are used as self-talk statements to raise the odds of a positive behavior choice during times of emotional upset. In addition, you can create your own kotowazas to teach and guide positive behaviors that lead to positive new habits! Teaching children how to identify and understand their own feelings. Children will continue to develop their understanding of how emotions “feel” in their bodies, what emotions look like on their faces and bodies, and how emotions sound. “I can see, hear, and feel that I have a feeling. I can see, hear, and feel that someone else has a feeling, and there is something I can do to make things better.” Teaching children to manage their own feelings. Children will learn how to monitor and regulate their feelings, a key factor essential to school readiness. As they develop competence in feeling regulation, they gain confidence and show more success in school. “I feel confident about myself when I can count on myself to do the right thing in an emotional moment.” Teaching children how to identify and understand feelings in others. Children will learn how to take the perspective of and empathize with others and recognize and appreciate individual and group similarities and differences. “I work to notice what you are feeling and practice acting in ways that show compassion, kindness, patience, generosity, resiliency, understanding, and tolerance.” Teaching children how to use communication and social-emotional tools to build positive relationships. When children can use positive communication skills and demonstrate social-emotional competence, they are on the path to strong relationships and school success. “I use communication tools that help me resolve upset feelings and solve problems so we can work and play together more peacefully.” Peace in action!

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FEELINGS ARE IMPORTANT! When children are able to understand and regulate their emotions and when they know how to cope with the emotions of others, they are building a strong foundation for a successful school experience (Denham and Brown 2010). The development of a feeling vocabulary is considered to be of critical importance in a child’s emotional development because it helps them understand their emotional experiences (Joseph and Strain 2010). Researchers have found that children who can discuss emotions and follow rules around emotional regulation are more popular (Hubbard and Coie 1994). Susanne Denham (1986) determined that when early childhood educators devote specific time to developing a rich emotional vocabulary with children, they have fewer challenging behaviors and more sophisticated, positive peer relationships. Educators and parents also need to spend quality time developing positive relationships with children (Joseph and Strain 2003b). Research also shows that children who are adept at understanding others’ feelings tend to have more academic success at the primary level (Izard 2002; Dowsett and Huston 2005). This emotional competence also promotes social development because children are able to cultivate successful interactions that involve listening, cooperating, and negotiating (Epstein 2009). Helping young children to develop and master the vocabulary of feelings sets them up for success in school, relationships, and life.

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KIND TAKE THE TIME TO BE KIND.


WEEK 11: KIND FEELING TAKE THE TIME TO BE KIND DEVELOPMENT OF EMPATHY AND PROSOCIAL BEHAVIOR Empathy is the ability to feel or imagine another person’s emotional experience. The ability to show empathy is an important part of social development that allows us to form relationships with others. From birth, infants show interest in others.Young babies may cry if other babies are crying. A 1-year-old child will respond to and copy the emotions of others. Between ages 2 and 3, a child may try to “help” their parent at home or “take care” of a younger sibling. Between ages 3 and 4, a child is developing and beginning to integrate mixed emotions and can respond to others’ emotions in effective ways. These older children can even begin to show concern for the future welfare of others (McDonald and Messinger, n.d.).

Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Take the Time to Be Kind OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate how to use the Kind kotowaza to encourage kind, caring behavior. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Management VOCABULARY: “Take the time to be kind,” kotowaza, kind, caring MATERIALS: Hand mirror, Lovey Dove with Kind Feeling tucked in her pouch 1. Share with children that one of the most important things they will learn at school is to be kind. 2. Pull a name stick. Ask that child to pull the Kind Feeling from Lovey’s pouch. Say, “Lovey teaches us to look for ways to be kind.” 3. Children can hold Lovey to share how someone can be kind. Use the prompt, “It is kind to …” 4. Introduce the children to the meaning of the word kotowaza. “Kotowaza is a Japanese word. A Kimochis® kotowaza helps us remember what to do when we have feelings.” 5. Introduce children to the Kind kotowaza. Say, “The kotowaza for the Kind Feeling is: ‘Take the time to be kind.’ That means that everyone in this class can be kind.” Pass Lovey Dove to each child, call each child by name, and say, “[Name], you are kind.” 6. After you have approached each child, take the hand mirror, look into it, and say, “I am kind.” 7. Pass the mirror around the circle for each child to give the self-affirmation, “I am kind.” (Ask before using the mirror as some children may not feel comfortable with it.) 8. Wrap up by saying, “Just like Lovey Dove, we are going to practice being kind. We can use our eyes to see a chance to be kind.” Have the children watch you carry a big load of books and ask, “Can anyone see a way you could be kind?” Ask the children to use their ears to be kind. Pretend to get hurt and say, “Ouch.” Ask the children if they can hear and see a way to be kind.

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Lesson 2: If It’s Kind, Say It! OBJECTIVE: Children will say kind and caring comments to others. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Social Awareness VOCABULARY: “Say it,” habits, kindness MATERIALS: All of the Kimochis® Characters, Lovey Dove with Kind Feeling tucked in pouch 1. Say, “Last time, we learned the Kind kotowaza. Let’s say it together: ‘Take the time to be kind.’ ” 2. “Today, we will talk about habits. Let’s name some positive habits.” (For example, washing hands, brushing teeth, saying please and thank you.) “Today, Lovey Dove is going to teach us a kindness habit called ‘Say it.’ The ‘Say it’ habit means that when you think something nice, you shouldn’t keep it inside— you should say it out loud! Lovey Dove is going to show us how to ‘Say it’!” 3. Pull a name stick. Have this child choose a Kimochis® Character. Tell the child to make the Character do the following action: Cloud: Do flips Bug: Fly in the air Cat: Clap her hands Huggs: Dance 4. Hold Lovey Dove, pull out the Kind Feeling from Lovey’s pouch, and model the “Say it” habit after the Character does the action: “Wow, Cloud, that was a great flip! Can you teach me how to do a flip?” 5. Pull another name stick. That child holds Lovey Dove. Make a Character do an action. Prompt the child to compliment it afterward: “Say it!” 6. Continue the activity by pulling two more name sticks. Have one child choose a Character and do the action. Have the other child practice the “Say it” tool. Continue to give children turns. 7. Wrap up this lesson by reminding that it is kind to “Say it” when you think something nice.

Lesson 3: If It’s Kind, Do It! OBJECTIVE: Children will seek ways to be kind and caring to others. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Responsible Decision-Making VOCABULARY: “Do it,” kindness, kind deeds, helpful MATERIALS: Kind Feeling 1. Say, “What was the kindness habit Lovey taught us when we think a kind thought?” (Remind them: “Say it.”) “Today, Lovey is going to teach us about the kindness habit called ‘Do it.’ ” 2. “The ‘Do it’ habit means that if you think of something you could do that would be kind and helpful, then you should do it!” 3. Give an example: “If I see that Tom needs help at the sink, I will help him.” 4. Pass the Kind Feeling to children who can think of other examples of kind actions. 5. Practice kind deeds in short role-plays. Invite children to do something kind each day.

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COACH KINDNESS DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • • • •

Prompt children to access their kindness by giving them the Kind Feeling when they are being unkind. Say, “Remember, we take the time to be kind.” Acknowledge when you observe kindness. “Saul, you helped Chen on your own.That is kind.” At the end of a day or week, bring Lovey Dove to circle time. She can share observations of kind children who noticed upset friends. For example, “Cooper was kind when he saw that Jeff didn’t have a snack.” Children put the Happy Feeling in Lovey’s pouch as they share how it felt to be kind or receive kindness from a friend.You can also pass the Kind Feeling and do the same. If you have visitors in your classroom, invite them to join in the Kimochis® activities. Ask them

for examples of kindness they have seen in their lives. Let them give an example of a big or a small kindness—it’s all fun to hear about!

WHAT RESEARCH TELLS US ABOUT KINDNESS Research has shown that there is a close association between kindness and happiness. Kind people experience more happiness and have happier memories (Otake et al. 2006). Performing acts of kindness actually results in an increase in life satisfaction and fulfillment (Buchanana and Bardib 2010). Scientific research shows that being kind not only makes you feel good, but also provides a significant health benefit, both physically and mentally. Acts of kindness have been shown to reduce stress and can actually boost immunity. Many people notice feelings of pleasure and well-being when helping others. Research has also found that helping others can provide an increase in energy, a feeling of “being healthy,” increased longevity, improvements in insomnia, a stronger immune system, and decreased feelings of loneliness, depression, and helplessness (Luks and Payne 1991).

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WEEK 11: KIND FEELING EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Book Appreciation OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (read books in an engaging manner) Recommended Books: • Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud (ages 4–6). This book encourages positive behavior as children see it is rewarding to express kindness, love, and appreciation. • Koi and the Kola Nuts: A Tale from Liberia by Verna Aardema (ages 3–6). An African folktale in which Koi has nothing but kola nuts, but gives them away and receives generosity in return. • Be Polite and Kind (Learning to Get Along series) by Cheri J. Meiners (ages 4–6). This book helps children understand the importance of showing politeness and speaking kindly. • Ordinary Mary’s Extraordinary Deed by Emily Pearson (ages 4–8). This book inspires and celebrates a world full of ordinary deeds!

Activity 2: The Kindness Quilt OBJECTIVE: Children will develop and widen their repertoire of skills that support artistic expression. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (develop and widen repertoire of skills that support artistic expression) MATERIALS: Real quilt or photo of quilt, 8” x 8” squares of paper, crayons, markers, colored pencils, paint, other decorations (glitter, sequins, etc.) • Tell children that they will make a “kindness quilt.” Bring in a fabric quilt or a picture of a quilt to show them what a quilt looks like. Explain that their kindness quilt will be made out of their drawings. • Give each child an 8” x 8” square of paper. Write on each square of paper: “I was kind when I …” Ask each child to finish the sentence and then help them write it on their squares. Children can then decorate their quilt squares. • Assemble the squares together to create the class kindness quilt. It can be showcased in your classroom or school hallway. Write the Kind kotowaza at the top: “Take the Time to Be Kind.”

Activity 3: “Let’s Be Kind” Song OBJECTIVE: Children will express themselves creatively through music. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (varied opportunities for creative expression through music) • Sing this song together to the tune of “Frère Jacques”1 Let’s be kind, Let’s be kind To our friends, To our friends In our hearts and minds , We like to be kind To our friends , To our friends.

1 From Activities for Preschool, Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/lesson-plans)

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building a school-to-home connec tion

HOME L I N KS W E E K 1 1

Kind Feeling ®

building a school-to-home connec tion

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building a school-to-home connec tion

This week, your child learned about kindness and the Kimochis® kotowaza—or Japanese proverb—that accompanies this feeling. “Take the time to be kind” is this week’s kotowaza to encourage kindness. This kotowaza inspires people to say and do kind things. Research has shown that there is a close association between kindness and happiness. Kind people experience more happiness and have happier memories.1 Kindness also helps children make and keep friends. Kindness builds patience and tolerance because we can learn to think kind thoughts when others make mistakes or hurt feelings. This week, we talked about how children can use their eyes and ears to look for opportunities to be kind. For example, a child might see that a teacher has dropped something and pick it up without being asked. Your child learned two new communication habits: “Say it” and “Do it.”

See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

1 Otake, K., S. Shimai, J. Tanaka-Matsumi, K. Otsui, and B. Frederickson. 2006. “Happy People Become Happier Through Kindness: A Counting Kindnesses Intervention.” Journal of Happiness Studies 7(3): 361–375. YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO REPRODUCE AND SHARE THIS PAGE © 2014 Kimochis – Plushy Feely Corp. • www.kimochis.com


Common Language “Say it”: If you think of something kind to say, say it! “Do it”: If you think of something kind to do, do it!

Coach Kindness During Daily Activities • • •

Acknowledge kind words and actions that do not come naturally or easily for your child. For example, “I admire how you were kind and let your baby brother go first. It’s hard for him to wait because he’s so little.” Admire people who are kind: “It is so nice to be around Aunt Florence. She always notices when I need help.” Ask your child to think of someone who is kind. Ask them to share their observations about this kind person and how their kindness makes them feel. Notice kindness in the world: “That was kind of that driver to let me go in front of him.”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • • •

THANKS AGAIN. As a family, talk about people you appreciate who have been kind to you recently or in the past. Make a point to call or send this person a note. Help your child make a call or send a note or picture. Appreciating kindness creates and sustains positive connections! SECRET KINDNESS. Choose a week for your family to do acts of kindness that are kept secret. This is when you do something for the world or others and don’t tell anyone except your family. For example, pick up litter, bring in a neighbor’s garbage cans, leave a flower for someone, talk with someone who looks lonely. When discussing your secret acts of kindness, take the time to share how being kind made you feel. This activity just might become a tradition. Traditions are known to create strong family bonds and connections. BE KIND. Decide as a family to sprinkle kindness everywhere and on everyone. At dinner or in the car, share how being kind makes you feel. Talk about what happens as a result of kindness. Do you see a kindness ripple? A kindness ripple is when one act of kindness inspires an act of kindness by the next person.

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HAPPY HAV E A HAPPY HEART!


WEEK 12: HAPPY FEELING (SHARING) HAVE A HAPPY HEART! THE DEVELOPMENT OF SHARING SKILLS Children who are 3 to 4 years old are developing an understanding of the concept of sharing. However, because they are still figuring out how to get their own needs met, they will struggle to share with others and will need adult coaching and guidance. Children who are 4 to 5 years old will be able to share more easily. There may be some minor arguments that occur over possessions, especially favorites. It is best to have adults guide the children through these conflicts. Sharing is an important pro-social skill. In one study, the ability to share predicted positive social behavior later in adolescence (Eisenberg et al. 1999).

Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Have a Happy Heart! OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate how to use the Happy kotowaza as a tool to be resilient and compassionate amid unhappy feelings. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Resilient SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Management VOCABULARY: Share, happy MATERIALS: Hand mirror, Huggtopus, and Happy Feeling 1. Show the Happy Feeling and share what creates happy feelings for you. Model by saying, “I feel happy when …” 2. Put the Happy Feeling in Huggs’s pouch and pass to children who wish to share what makes them feel happy. Each pulls out the Happy Feeling. Prompt them to say, “I feel happy when …” 3. Introduce children to the Happy kotowaza: “Have a happy heart!” Say, “This means we can choose to say and do kind things that fill hearts with happy feelings. Clap your hands if you like to have happy feelings.” Point out that everyone in your classroom likes to have happy feelings. 4. Hold the hand mirror in front of each child. Say, “Show me what your face looks like when you feel happy.” Use the kotowaza during the lesson: “Darla feels happy and has a happy heart.” (Ask before using the mirror as some children may not feel comfortable with it.) 5. Say, “We won’t always feel happy. Kimochis® will help us learn how to make ourselves and others feel better when we don’t feel happy.” 6. Ask, “How could you use the Happy Feeling when you feel unhappy or see a friend who is feeling unhappy?” Examples: “I could hold Happy until I feel better”; “I could give Happy to a friend who looks sad.”

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Lesson 2: I’m Happy to Share! OBJECTIVE: Children will share toys and other materials in developmentally appropriate ways. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Happy, share, “I’m happy to share” MATERIALS: Huggtopus with Happy Feeling tucked in pouch, Bug, Kind Feeling, 6–8 blocks 1. Show Huggtopus and ask, “What feeling did Huggtopus help us learn about in our last lesson?” 2. Say, “Clap if you feel happy when your friends share. Watch how Huggtopus will share with Bug.” 3. Place the blocks on the floor. Use Huggtopus and Bug in a show to model sharing. Have Huggs hand some blocks to Bug and say, “I’m happy to share with you.” Pull the Happy Feeling from Huggs’s pouch. Make Bug say, “Thanks, Huggs. That makes me feel happy.” Pass the Happy Feeling to Bug and put it in Bug’s pouch. Switch roles, using Bug to model this same communication script. 4. Pull two name sticks. Have one child hold Huggtopus and the other hold Bug. Prompt the children to help Bug and Huggtopus share the blocks. • Prompt by saying, “Huggs, can you give a block to Bug?” • Have child holding Huggs say, “Bug, I’m happy to share.” • Have child holding Bug say, “Thanks, Huggs. That makes me feel happy.” 5. Pull more name sticks for additional turns. 6. After each show, ask children how sharing made them feel. Prompt with, “I felt …” 7. Wrap up by inviting children to hold the Happy Feeling and name times when they can practice sharing (at the block center, on the playground, at the art table, at home).

Lesson 3: Remember, We Share OBJECTIVE: Children will act out and solve a conflict during dramatic play. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Resilient SEL COMPETENCY: Responsible Decision-Making VOCABULARY: “Remember, we share” MATERIALS: Cloud, Cat, small toy 1. Say, “In the last lesson, we watched Bug and Huggtopus share blocks. Clap if you feel mad or sad when someone forgets to share with you. Cat is going to pretend to forget to share with Cloud. Then Cloud can teach us to say, ‘Remember, we share’ when our friends forget.” 2. Have Cat play with the small toy. • Have Cloud approach and say, “May I see the toy?” • Have Cat yell at Cloud, “No, it’s mine!” • Turn Cloud’s head to his sad face. Have Cloud say, “Remember, we share.” • Have Cat say, “Sorry” and share the toy. • Turn Cloud’s head to his happy face. Have Cloud say, “Thanks.” • Have Cat say, “You’re welcome.” 3. Ask, “What was Cloud feeling when Cat forgot to share? What did Cloud say when Cat forgot to share?” (“Remember, we share.”) 4. Say, “Now it is your turn to help Cloud remind Cat to share.” 5. Pull a name stick. Give Cloud (with the sad face in front) to the child. Hide the toy behind your back or pulled close to you so it looks like you are not willing to share. 150

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6. 7. 8.

Prompt child to say, “Remember, we share.” Give Cloud the toy. Prompt child to turn Cloud’s head to happy and say, “Thanks.” Pull more name sticks to give children opportunities to take turns helping Cloud say, “Remember, we share” and turning Cloud’s head from sad to happy. Wrap up by saying, “We are all learning how to share. When our friends forget to share, what are we going to say?” Prompt children to say together, “Remember, we share.”

COACH SHARING DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • • • •

Prompt children to use the script, “I’m happy to share.” When you see two children going for the same toy, say, “Use eye contact with your friend and say, ‘I’m happy to share.’ ” Acknowledge when you observe a child willingly sharing with a peer. “Josh, I saw you share your favorite car with Daniel! That makes everyone feel happy. That was very friendly, generous and kind.” Before playtime, show the Happy Feeling and remind children how sharing creates happy feelings. Place the Happy Feeling in an area where sharing can be challenging. After play, invite children to hold the Happy Feeling to describe how sharing created happy feelings. When you observe positive sharing behaviors in children, let them carry the Happy and Friendly Feelings for a while. Celebrate their success!

SHARING AND CHILDREN WITH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES Sharing for children with special needs can be challenging because it requires attention to another and understanding the needs of others. Research suggests that children with special needs require assistance in learning to share both physically (offering an object) and verbally (saying, “Can I have … ?”) (McCann et al. 2005). Try these suggestions: • Practice sharing with only one child for a few minutes before a group sharing activity. • Sit near the child and prompt with a whisper, “You can share that block with Joey.” • Reinforce verbally: “That’s kind how you let Joey have the block.” • If the child is on a behavior plan, reinforce him/her with a sticker or point when he/she shares.

MODEL SHARING BEHAVIOR Children learn by observing and imitating adult behavior. They will watch to see how you share in the classroom. Make an effort to share with everyone in the classroom by saying things like, “Let’s share this chair,” “I can share my pen with Mrs. Ng,” and “We can all share this great book.”

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WEEK 12: HAPPY FEELING (SHARING) EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Book Appreciation OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (read books in an engaging manner) Recommended Books: • I Can Share (A Lift-the-Flap Book) by Karen Katz (ages 2–4). Sharing can be a hard concept to grasp, but with the help of this book, children can learn that sharing can be fun! Featuring simple, repetitive text, this playful book is the perfect way to introduce the magic of sharing. • Sharing Time by Elizabeth Verdick (ages 3–4). This book can be read before (or during) sharing times or whenever preschoolers need encouragement with routines. • It’s Mine! by Leo Lionni (ages 4–8). Three frogs don’t want to share their pond. But when a big storm comes, they learn that “It’s mine” is not very friendly or peaceful. • Mine! Mine! Mine! by Shelly Becker (ages 4–7). Gail can’t cope when her “greedy” cousin Claire comes to visit. The illustrations of the children’s facial expressions convey their feelings.

Activity 2: The Sharing Song OBJECTIVE: Children will express themselves creatively through music. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (varied opportunities for creative expression through music) • Sing this simple song to the tune of “This Is the Way We …” (or “Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush”): This is the way we share our toys, share our toys, share our toys. This is the way we share our toys, all day long. • Change the word “toys” depending on the situation: “blocks,” “cars,” “books,” “glue,” etc.

Activity 3: Fill Up Your Heart OBJECTIVE: Children will practice how to remind others to play kindly when they forget. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (varied opportunities to share and interact with others) MATERIALS: Nesting Heart, feeling pillows • Have children clap hands, stomp feet, snap fingers if they have been sharing and taking turns in the classroom and on the playground. For example, “Stomp your feet if you shared while playing in the sandbox.” • Ask children how sharing and taking turns make them feel. Tuck the Happy Feeling inside the Kimochis® Nesting Heart while acknowledging that sharing and taking turns create happy feelings. (Have other feeling pillows on hand because children now have a larger feeling vocabulary and might notice they feel proud, grateful, excited, loved, etc.) • Change the conversation and ask children to consider the feelings that are created when our friends “forget” to share. Tuck these Feelings inside the Nesting Heart. • Ask the children to share what they can say and do when a friend forgets to share or take turns. (“Remember, we share” and “Remember, we take turns.”) 152

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building a school-to-home connec tion

HOME L I N KS W E E K 1 2

Happy: Sharing ®

building a school-to-home connec tion

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building a school-to-home connec tion

This week, your child learned about happiness and the Kimochis® kotowaza—or Japanese proverb—that accompanies this feeling: “Have a happy heart!” This means we can say and do kind things that fill hearts with happy feelings. Sharing makes everyone feel happy, but young children are just learning how to share. Children who are 3 to 4 years old are developing the skills of sharing. However, because they are still figuring how to get their own needs met, they will struggle to share with others and will need adult guidance. Children who are 4 to 5 years old are able to share more easily. There may be some minor arguments that occur over possessions, especially favorites. It is best to guide children through these conflicts. Sharing is an important pro-social skill. In one study, the ability to share appropriately predicted positive social behavior later in adolescence.1 Your child was given the tool to say, “Remember, we share” when someone does not share. We also like to use the phrase, “He/she forgot to share.”This helps remind everyone that young children are practicing skills in sharing and have not quite mastered them yet!

See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

1 Eisenberg, N., J. K. Guthrie, B. C. Murphy, S. A. Shepard, A. Cumberland, and G. Carlo. 1999. “Consistency and Development of Prosocial Dispositions: A Longitudinal Study.” Child Development 70: 1360–1372.

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Common Language “Remember, we share”: A saying that gently helps children remember to share with each other

Coach Sharing During Daily Activities • • •

Make an effort to talk about how you share every day. When your child asks you for something of yours and you can say yes, respond in a cheerful way: “I am happy to share.” Acknowledge when your child shares in an especially difficult situation. “That was the last piece of your cookie. That was generous and kind of you to share with your sister.” Using a friendly face and voice, remind your child when he/she forgets to share by saying, “Remember, we share.” Give these same words to your child when other children forget to share with them. You can say, “Tell Franklin, ‘Remember, we share.’ ”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • • •

SHARE BEAR. Designate a stuffed bear or other plush animal as the “Family Share Bear.” Before a playdate or sibling play, give your child the “Share Bear” and ask why sharing is necessary. Practice what he/she will say and do if the friend or sibling forgets to share. Remind your child to say, “Remember, we share.” Put the Share Bear near the play area. After play, ask your child to tell you and Share Bear how the sharing went. HAPPY HEART. Make a heart out of red or pink construction paper or use a heart-shaped object if you have one. Pass the heart to family members at dinnertime: • Ask, “What made your heart feel happy today?” • Then, “How did you make someone else’s heart happy?” • Have each family member say something kind and loving to someone else at the table while holding the heart. FAMILY DANCE. Music creates positive feelings and may help family members get out of upset moods. With your family, choose a “Family Song” that makes everyone feel happy. Play the song and drop everything to sing and dance. Turn it up and feel happy doing the Family Dance! Again, you may well be creating another family tradition.

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WEEK 13: HAPPY FEELING (TAKING TURNS) HAVE A HAPPY HEART! YOUNG CHILDREN AND TAKING TURNS Taking turns can be difficult for young children. In order to take turns, children need to regulate their impulses and show patience. This is a skill that young children are just learning to master as they move from the egocentric “me” stage to a more group-conscious “us” stage. At 3 years old, children seem to understand the concept of taking turns, but they will need adult guidance to take turns successfully. At 4–5 years old, they understand the concept and can take turns, especially if the item is not a highly valued one. At times, children may become the “peer enforcers” of the turn-taking principle, saying, “You had your turn. Now it’s mine.” Gentle reminders in the moment and acknowledgement when children take turns will help them learn about this democratic principle.

Lesson 1: My Turn,Your Turn OBJECTIVE: Children will take turns in simple play. CHARACTER PRINCIPLES: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Take turns MATERIALS: Objects that require turn-taking, such as blocks, balls, toy cars; Kimochis® Characters; Kind, Happy, and Sad Feelings 1. Say, “Last week, we learned about sharing. Wiggle your hands if you have been practicing sharing.” 2. Show the “turn-taking objects.” Ask children to clap if they like playing with each item. 3. Say, “It is kind [show Kind feeling pillow] to take turns. When we take turns, then everyone has fun.” Hold up Happy and Sad pillows. Ask, “Do you feel happy or sad when your friends take turns?” Invite the children to make a happy face and notice facial expressions. For example, “Fred’s face shows me that he feels happy when friends take turns.” 4. Say, “This week, our Kimochis® friends are going to teach us the communication tools that will help us to be kind and take turns. Then everyone will be happy when we play.” 5. Pull a name stick. Ask that child to choose a Kimochis® Character. Use another Character and role-play taking turns. Roll a ball back and forth between the two Characters that you and the child are holding. Say, “My turn … Your turn.” 6. Pull another name stick. Without the Characters this time, model this same activity. Add the following hand gestures: When you say, “My turn,” tap your chest; when you say, “Your turn,” point to the child. Ask children to say the words in unison. Use a singsong pattern to help children say the words. 7. Pull name sticks so all children can practice following the pattern. Change the object periodically (stacking blocks, rolling toy car to each other). 8. Children can pair up to practice taking turns with one another. Point out the children’s happy facial expressions. Ask children what feelings they have when they take turns together. www.kimochis.com

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Lesson 2: Do You Want to Go First? OBJECTIVE: Children will use words that contribute to positive turn-taking. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Scared, first, kind, friendly MATERIALS: Kind, Friendly, and Happy Feelings; Bug with Scared and Brave Feelings tucked in pouch (tuck Brave in first so Scared is on top) 1. Pull a name stick. Have child pull Scared Feeling from Bug’s pouch. Say, “Remember how Bug was scared to fly? Everyone make a scared face. But Bug was brave and got himself to try anyway.” 2. Ask, “Who wants to help Bug fly?” (Most will want to!) Say, “Everybody wants a turn! So we have to practice taking turns helping Bug fly.” 3. Ask, “Can we all go first?” Children will properly answer, “No.” 4. Say, “Today, we will practice being kind and friendly by asking our friends who wants to be first.” Show the Kind and Friendly Feelings. Hold Bug (wings out) and say, “We are going to help Bug fly.” 5. Pull another name stick. Ask child, “Do you want to go first?” Prompt child to say, “Yes.” Ask, “Can I go first next time?” Prompt child to say, “Sure.” 6. The child helps Bug fly while you say, “Your turn.” (Gesture to the child as in Lesson 1.) 7. Prompt the child to give Bug back to you. Say, “Now it’s my turn.” (Gesture to self as in Lesson 1.) 8. Pull two more name sticks and invite the children to help Bug fly. Prompt child 1 to ask, “Do you want to go first?” Prompt child 2 to say, “Yes.” Prompt child 1 to say, “Can I go first next time?” Prompt child 2 to respond, “Sure.” 9. Children say, “My turn … Your turn” while helping Bug fly. Whisper the words to remind them. 10. Ask children to name places they can practice taking turns (classroom, playground, home). Ask, “How does it feel when our friends take turns?” Show the Happy Feeling.

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Lesson 3: Kimochis Characters Take Turns ®

OBJECTIVE: Children will play cooperatively with a peer. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Take turns MATERIALS: All of the Kimochis® Characters, Happy Feeling 1. Say, “Last time, we practiced taking turns with Bug. Now let’s practice with the other Kimochis®.” 2. Ask, “How does it feel when friends take turns?” Invite children to share a time they took turns or when a friend took turns. Let them hold the Happy Feeling while they are speaking. 3. Pull two name sticks and ask the two children to sit in the middle of the circle. Place a Kimochis® Character on the floor between them. Say, “I know you are kind and can take turns.” 4. Invite the children to each take a turn holding the Character and doing an action. For example, make Bug fly, turn Cloud’s head, make Cat meow, make Huggs be silly, flap Lovey’s wings. 5. After each pair takes turns with a Character, point out their facial expressions. Ask what they are feeling because they were kind and took turns. Remind all children that when we take turns, we feel happy. By now, your children have gone beyond simple feeling words such as happy, mad, sad. Enjoy this big emotional development as you witness your tiny children using words such as grateful and loved. COACH TURN-TAKING DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • • •

When children are beginning play, prompt them to use turn-taking words: “Do you want to go first?” “Can I go first next time?” When they have begun play, prompt them to use “My turn … Your turn.” Remind them to use a Talking Voice and Face when they use turn-taking language. Acknowledge children when they actively take turns. Explicitly name the skill: “I see Robbie and Luiz taking turns with the blue marker. I see that their faces look happy!” Set up activities where children can practice turn-taking, such as doing a puzzle as a pair, stacking blocks, or making a simple art project. Younger children will need adult guidance, prompts, and acknowledgement, but the practice will be worth it.

TURN-TAKING AND CHILDREN WITH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES Children with special needs will struggle with turn-taking. The inability to read social cues and wait for a turn can be frustrating to them and their peers. Draw and laminate a simple index card that says “Wait” in red. Compare it to a red light that tells cars to wait until it’s their turn to go. In turn-taking situations, give the child the “Wait” card to hold while waiting for a turn. This will reassure the child that their turn is coming and they have not been forgotten. You can use the card in small or large groups. This strategy is helpful for all young children who need more supports to take turns. www.kimochis.com

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WEEK 13: HAPPY FEELING (TAKING TURNS) EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Book Appreciation OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (read books in an engaging manner) Recommended Books: • Share and Take Turns (Learning to Get Along series) by Cheri J. Meiners (ages 3–8). A girl learns techniques for sharing. She then shows how she shares and takes turns when playing with her sister and friend. • I Can Share! (The Best Me I Can Be series) by David Parker (ages 3–5). A small, wonderful book about sharing.

Activity 2: Make a Happy Poster! OBJECTIVE: Children will use fine motor skills to make a poster. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Physical Development (varied opportunities and materials that support fine motor development) MATERIALS: Enlarged copies of Happy Feeling template (see page 288), scissors, crayons or markers, glue, poster board • Give each child a copy of the Happy Feeling and ask each to color it. • Help them cut it out and glue it on the poster. • Write the child’s name under the cutout, ask what makes him/her feel happy, then add the comment to the poster, maybe even drawing a simple picture to illustrate the comment. • Ask children throughout the day if they would like to add more to the Happy Poster as they think of happy moments!

Activity 3: Duck, Duck, Huggtopus OBJECTIVE: Children will cooperate with others during a physical group game. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Physical Development (varied opportunities to engage in gross motor experiences that develop controlled movement) MATERIALS: Huggtopus, Happy Feeling • Ask children to sit in a circle. Tuck the Happy Feeling in Huggtopus’s pouch. • Model how to walk around the circle, tapping each child’s head gently with Huggtopus, saying, “Duck … duck … duck …” When you say, “Huggtopus!” the child who was tapped gets up and carefully chases you (or walks quickly) around the circle back to his/her space. • When you sit down in the empty space, pull the Happy Feeling from Huggs’s pouch. Model how to say something that makes you feel happy. Prompt, “I feel happy when …” • Continue to play the game. When the child sits down, prompt him/her to pull out the Happy Feeling and say one thing that makes him/her feel happy. Have fun and change the game by adding different feeling pillows to Huggs’s pouch!

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Happy: Taking Turns ®

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This week, we talked about how the feeling “happy” helps children remember to take turns. When children take turns, everyone feels happy.Taking turns can be difficult for young children because they need to regulate their impulses and have patience. Young children are just learning to master this as they move from the egocentric “me” stage to the more group-conscious “us” stage. Gentle reminders in the moment and acknowledgement when children take turns will help them learn about this democratic principle. Your child has learned that taking turns works best when we each name our turn. For example, when it’s your child’s turn, they can say, “My turn” and pat their hand on their chest to indicate this. You can do the same for your turn. This can also work with a sibling or friend. The hand movements (patting your own chest and pointing to your play partner) help to guide the back-and-forth action of taking turns. Your child also learned some communication scripts that can help decide who will go first during play. We practiced being kind and saying, “Would you like to go first?” and “Can I please go first next time?”

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Coach Turn-Taking During Daily Activities • • •

Acknowledge your child when he/she actively takes turns. Explicitly name the skill: “I see Huang and you taking turns. I see two happy faces.” Set up activities where your child can practice turn-taking with you, a sibling, or a playmate. Activities could include doing a puzzle as a pair, stacking blocks, or making a simple art project. Younger children will need prompts and acknowledgement, but the practice will be worth it. Practice taking turns with your child by saying, “Would you like to go first? Can I go first next time?”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • • •

THE TALKING STICK. Find a nice stick and decorate it with your child. Keep the stick nearby and use it as a way to make sure that every family member gets a turn to talk during conversation times. The family member holding the stick is the speaker. The rest of the family listens respectfully with good eye contact. Some families have used a river rock, painted it, and called it the Talking Stone. A “talking” object allows family members to hold something that shows everyone whose turn it is. Make up a fun, nonverbal family signal that would prompt a family member to stop if they talk too long (the time-out signal, the cutting motion, etc.). Reassure all that the reason we sometimes need to have someone stop talking is because others also need and want a turn. BOARD GAMES. Simple board games are a great way to practice turn-taking. Kids love to have their parents’ attention too! Use the words (“My turn … Your turn”) and motions (hand movements) to keep track of each other’s turns. Tell your child that every once in a while, you will pretend to take two turns. Your child’s job is to kindly remind you, “Remember, we take turns.” HIDE-AND-SEEK. Children love this game, and it is a great way to create happy feelings while you and your child take turns. Make a big deal about whose turn it is to hide and whose turn it is to seek. Occasionally, be sure to go first so your child gets practice not always being first.

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FRIENDLY FRIENDLY FACES CREATE FRIENDLY PLACES.


WEEK 15: FRIENDLY FEELING FRIENDLY FACES CREATE FRIENDLY PLACES FRIENDLINESS AND TEMPERAMENTS Humans are naturally attracted to other humans. By 3 months old, infants respond to and are soothed by a familiar caregiver. At approximately 7 months, an infant will have a “special greeting” when a familiar caregiver approaches. However, as we learned in Unit 1, children are born with different personal styles and temperaments. Some children will be naturally outgoing and friendly, while others will be shy and need more time to feel comfortable in your classroom. School and social interactions can be especially stressful for slow-to-warm children as they are faced with new people and new demands. It is important to remember that each child’s behavior reflects individual differences in temperament. It may be harder for shy children to practice friendliness at first. Go slow and let these children practice being friendly at their own pace. A warm, accepting environment paired with gentle instruction will give these children the support they need to learn how to be friendly.

Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Friendly Faces Create Friendly Places OBJECTIVE: Children will use the Friendly kotowaza as a tool to demonstrate polite, respectful, and inclusive interactions. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Awareness VOCABULARY: “Friendly faces create friendly places,” friendly MATERIALS: Hand mirror, Lovey Dove with Friendly Feeling tucked in pouch 1. Pull a name stick. Have that child pull the Friendly Feeling from Lovey’s pouch. Ask children, “Who remembers what Lovey Dove taught us about Friendly Signals?” 2. Introduce children to the Friendly kotowaza: “Friendly faces create friendly places.” Say, “Everyone in our class can be friendly.” 3. Hold the mirror up to each child so they can look at their friendly face as you say, “Duncan’s friendly face creates a friendly place.” (Ask before using the mirror because some children may not feel comfortable with it.) 4. Remind children that Lovey Dove is our Kimochis® Character who teaches us to never miss a chance to be friendly. Say, “We can be friendly to everyone at school, not just our friends.” 5. Tell children that Lovey Dove is going to live by the door to the classroom as a reminder for everyone to practice sending Friendly Signals in class and on the playground.

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Lesson 2: Let’s Be Friendly! OBJECTIVE: Children will recognize times to be friendly. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind CORE SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: No room, join MATERIALS: Left Out and Happy Feelings, Lovey Dove with Friendly Feeling tucked in pouch 1. Place Lovey Dove in the center of the circle to remind children about being friendly. 2. Pull a name stick. Have that child pretend he/she is just arriving at school and all the children are already in the circle. Tell this child to stand outside the circle. Ask, “How does it feel when you see the circle and there is no room for you to sit?” Give this child the Left Out feeling pillow. 3. Say to the children, “Watch me be friendly so our friend can join our circle.” Model how to move over, make eye contact with the left-out child, smile, and use your hand to communicate, “There is room next to me.” Do not say anything, as this is a “no-talking tool.” Prompt the left-out child to join the circle, make eye contact with you, smile, and say a soft “Thank you.” 4. Ask children, “How were my eyes friendly? How was my hand friendly?” Ask the left-out child, “How did that make you feel?” Trade the Left Out Feeling for the Happy Feeling. 5. Put all of the name sticks in Lovey’s pouch and pull the names of two children to repeat this friendly routine. Remind children that this is a no-talking game—all the communication is through Friendly Signals. Prompt children by saying, “You can make eye contact, smile, and show a place to sit with your hand.” 6. Give a smile and thumbs-up as children practice being friendly and including the excluded child. 7. Wrap up by saying, “We are all friendly and kind. When we see that someone does not have a place in the group, we make room.”

Lesson 3: The Lovey Dove Challenge OBJECTIVE: Children will participate in a group activity in a cooperative and friendly way. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Friendly MATERIALS: Friendly Feeling 1. Give the children the “Lovey Dove Challenge.” Review the Friendly Signals (smile, wave, head nod, high five). Ask children to imitate them. Say, “Let’s practice how and where you can use Friendly Signals on the playground.” 2. Pull two name sticks. Ask children to pretend they are on the playground at the slide, play structure, grass area, or elsewhere. Say, “Give each other Friendly Signals.” 3. Pull more name sticks to give other children practice. Say, “I will remind you right before recess to take the Lovey Dove Challenge to give Friendly Signals.” 4. Put Lovey by the door as children go out to recess. Wave her wing as a reminder.

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If you are able, ask children to sit in a circle when they return from the playground. Pass the Friendly Feeling to children who would like to share their experience. Ask: “What Friendly Signals did you give?” “What Friendly Signals did you receive from others?” “When you sent a Friendly Signal to a classmate, did you get one back?” “How did it make you feel?”

COACH FRIENDLINESS DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • • • •

Periodically bring Lovey Dove out at the end of the day to share Friendly Signals you observed. Pass Lovey to children who wish to share stories of being friendly and experiencing friendliness. Right before recess, remind children to use Friendly Signals with all the boys and girls— and adults! Acknowledge children when you observe them using a Friendly Signal, especially if a child makes an effort with a student from another class or a new student. Notice the slow-to-warm children as they make progress being friendlier. Give them a prompt and then stand back to watch what happens.

CULTURAL CONSIDERATIONS The smile is the near-universal gesture of friendliness. In Western cultures, a smile usually means the person is happy, amused, or feeling friendly. In other cultures, a smile may have a different meaning. In some Latin cultures, for example, a smile may say, “Excuse me” or “Please.” In some Asian cultures, smiling can signify joy. It can also mask embarrassment, hide displeasure, or suppress anger. Ask your students’ parents and caregivers from various cultures about the messages a smile might send in certain social situations.

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WEEK 15: FRIENDLY FEELING EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Book Appreciation OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (read books in an engaging manner) Recommended Books: • The Friendly Book by Margaret Wise Brown (ages 3–5). This collection of poems and stories is back in the Little Golden Book format with the friendliest bunnies, dogs, and people ever! • Friendliness by Lucia Raatma (ages 4–6). This book helps children consider the right way to behave in everyday situations by exploring the important value of friendliness.

Activity 2:You’re Invited to a “Friendly Fest” OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate skills to enter into social groups. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development MATERIALS: Lovey Dove with Friendly Feeling tucked in pouch • Invite another classroom of children to join Lovey Dove for a “Friendly Fest.” • Ask a child to introduce Lovey Dove. Pull the Friendly Feeling from her pouch and tell everyone how the class has been practicing sending Friendly Signals. • Together, demonstrate the various Friendly Signals you have practiced (wave, smile, etc.). • Pull two name sticks, one from each classroom. Those two children will be partners. Tell the children, “Your job is to find your partner, use eye contact, walk toward each other, give a Friendly Signal, and sit down together.” • Continue to pull pairs of name sticks, one from each class, until everyone has a partner. • Tell children to walk around the room sending Friendly Signals to someone new. After several minutes, say, “Freeze!” Everyone sits where they are. Pass Lovey to children who want to share how they sent Friendly Signals.

Activity 3: Friendly Paper Chain OBJECTIVE: Children will convey thoughts and experiences through verbal communication. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (recognize and name feelings) MATERIALS: Friendly Feeling, strips of colored paper (to make a paper chain) • Show the Friendly Feeling at the art table. Say, “We are going to make a Friendly Signals paper chain.” • Show children several sample paper links you’ve already made with Friendly Signal experiences written on them (e.g., “Mrs. Smith gave me big smile on Monday!” “I gave a high five to Leticia”). • Say, “When you give or get a Friendly Signal, find an adult to write it down for you on one of these paper strips so you can add it to the chain.” Read the Friendly Signal experience aloud at that time (if appropriate). Notice the pride in the facial expressions of the children. • Read the Friendly Signal “links” at the end of the day or as a brain break during the day. • String these Friendly Signals together and showcase them in your classroom or a high-traffic area in your school community!

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Friendly ®

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This week, your child learned about friendliness and the Kimochis® kotowaza— or Japanese proverb—that accompanies this feeling: “Friendly faces create friendly places.” This kotowaza inspires and encourages children to be friendly to people beyond those we are comfortable with or know well. When children are friendly, it helps to create a positive climate and culture in our schools, homes, and communities. Children who have friendly facial expressions and body language are invited to play more frequently because other children are attracted to their openness. Your child learned how to acknowledge people when they enter a room or meet for the first time. They also were encouraged to think of other ways to be friendly, such as making room for a peer to sit next to them or giving what we call “Friendly Signals” to classmates on the playground. As children practice friendliness, they will see how friendly acts can create positive ripples in the world.

See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

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Common Language Friendly places: Places where people are friendly, inclusive, and kind to one another Friendly Signals: Gestures and words that convey friendliness such as eye contact, head nods, smiles, waves, pat on the back

Coach Friendly Signals During Daily Activities • • •

Acknowledge your child when he/she is friendly. Explicitly name what you observed: “I admire how you smile at everyone and say hi when we walk to school.” Review with your child how he/she can greet people who come to your home. Say, “Mrs. Rodriguez is coming for lunch. Remember to make eye contact and say, ‘Hello, Mrs. Rodriguez.’ ” Share how you are working hard to be friendly to teachers and parents at your child’s school whom you do not know well. “Today, I am going to practice making eye contact, smiling, and being friendly to some new parents at your school.”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • • •

SWEET AND SOUR. This is a fun and playful game that families can enjoy in the car. Explain that while you are driving, you will send Friendly Signals to people in other cars or to those on the sidewalk. If the person sends a Friendly Signal back, you say, “Sweet.” If you do not get a Friendly Signal, you say, “Sour.” Hopefully, you will get more people who send a Friendly Signal back! This is at the heart of the game and can help young children begin to understand that we often get what we give. When we are friendly, most people are friendly back! Remind children that if people do not send Friendly Signals, it does not mean they are unkind. Rather, cultures can make people express friendliness differently. Also, some people are more shy or have not been taught how to send Friendly Signals. We want to practice patience, understanding, and compassion. FRIENDLY FIVE. This is a fun, interactive way to acknowledge friendliness you observe in others. When you see someone with a friendly face (perhaps in the grocery store), give your child a high five and say, “Friendly five!” Gradually, your child will start to recognize friendliness and start to give you high fives or “friendly fives.” Once you teach your family this game, it might get started when you least expect it! FRIENDLY COLLAGE. Use old photos that show friendly faces of people you love. With your child’s help, cut out the faces and glue them on poster board. Put this poster in an area where all family members can see it as a reminder of all the friendly faces you have in your life.

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LEFT OUT MAKE ROOM FOR EVERYONE. 178

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WEEK 16: LEFT OUT FEELING (JOINING IN) MAKE ROOM FOR EVERYONE ENTERING INTO PLAY Children between the ages of 3 and 4 are becoming more interested in socializing and will engage in “associative play” where there is loose organization with no rules. An older child may be the leader of this play, and younger children will seldom question this authority. Between the ages of 4 and 5, children will begin to engage in “cooperative play,” which is organized around group goals with simple rules. It can be difficult for children to enter this play because interactions in preschool are often brief, so there is constant change in play partners. Working on inclusion skills is important because research has shown that children who stop to observe play and are confident and positive when making a bid for entry are more likely to be accepted into the play (Landy 2009).

Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Make Room for Everyone OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate how to use the Left Out kotowaza as a tool to seek out play and companionship with others. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Left out, make room MATERIALS: Bug, Shy, and Left Out Feelings 1. Remind children that Bug feels left out because he is shy and isn’t always brave enough to ask others to play. Tuck Shy and Left Out feeling pillows in his pouch. 2. Share what creates feelings of being left out for you. Model, “I feel left out when …” 3. Pass Bug to children to share when they feel left out. Prompt with, “I feel left out when …” They can tell Bug’s eyes which helps to make it safe! 4. Introduce children to the Left Out kotowaza: “Make room for everyone.” Say, “This means we use our eyes and ears to notice if children want to play. At our school, we make room for everyone.” 5. Wrap up by saying, “If you see someone feeling left out and looking like they want a friend, ask them to play. Then say, ‘Make room for everyone,’ just like we did today for our friend Bug.”

Lesson 2: Help Bug Play OBJECTIVES: Children will demonstrate positive ways to get themselves included in play. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Resilient SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: Shy, scared, included MATERIALS: Several blocks, Bug with Scared, Shy, and Left Out Feelings tucked in pouch 1. Remind children of the Left Out kotowaza: “Make room for everyone.” 2. Show Bug with his wings tucked in his back. Say, “Bug loves to play with his friends, but sometimes he feels shy [pull out Shy Feeling] and scared [pull out Scared Feeling]. Clap if you ever feel shy or scared to ask to play.” www.kimochis.com

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3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

Say, “We are going to teach Bug a communication tool so he can play even when he feels shy or scared.” Pull two name sticks. Have those two children pretend to play with the blocks in the middle of the circle. Demonstrate the following with Bug: • Call one child’s name. • Give a Communication Tap. • Wait for eye contact before speaking. • Smile and make Bug say, “Can I play too?” • Prompt the other child to say, “Sure.” • Have Bug respond with, “Thanks.” When repeating the above, model how to observe play first, offer a good idea to the group, and then ask to join. For instance, a group could be cooking in dramatic play and you could offer to bake a cake for dessert (or other ideas, such as set the table), and then ask to play. Ask children, “What did Bug do and say to get included in play?” Prompt children to name each step: • Called name. • Gave a Communication Tap. • Waited for eye contact. • Smiled and asked to play. Ask, “Would you like to help Bug learn to be brave and ask to play?” Pull another name stick. That child uses Bug to enter play using the steps above. You may need to help this child remember what to do and say. Also prompt the children in the center to respond with “Sure” or “Yes.” Pull another name stick so another child can join the play with Bug. Continue with more turns. When finished, thank all the children for teaching Bug how to “ask to play” when he felt shy and scared.

Lesson 3: Bug Wants to Play OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate positive ways to respond when other children ask to join play. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Social Awareness VOCABULARY: “Can I play?” MATERIALS: All of the Kimochis® Characters 1. Say, “Last time, we helped Bug play with others. Today, we will learn how to make room for everyone.” 2. Ask children to name favorite toys or games. Say, “Clap if you like [toy or game] too.” 3. Start by saying, “I’d like you all to ask me, ‘Do you want to play?’ ” Answer with a cheerful, inclusive response, such as, “Sure,” “Yes,” or “Of course.” 4. Say, “Bug is shy, so we are going to help him practice being brave.” 5. Pull four name sticks and give Cloud, Cat, Huggtopus, and Lovey Dove to each child. 6. Model the skill first. Hold Bug and walk to a child holding a Character. Ask, “Can I play?” Child responds, “Yes” or “Sure” or “Of course.” (Whisper the words in child’s ear, if needed.) 7. Sit down and exchange Bug for the Character that child was holding. This child now takes Bug to another Character to ask, “Can I play?” Be sure everyone gets a turn! 8. Say, “We can ask to play and also make room for all of our friends when they ask to play.”

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COACH INCLUSION DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • • • •

Guide a reluctant child to a group of children who will be most likely to accept him/her. Join the group yourself as a model and then move away as the children include the newcomer. Sometimes encouraging a child to do something concrete can help a child gain entry. For example, if peers are having a tea party, a child could bring over a cup and ask for some tea. Send Bug outside with a helpful child who is confident, friendly, and inclusive. That child can help Bug look for friends who may be feeling left out and ask them if they want to play. After recess, invite this child to have Bug share how he helped friends feel included and happy! Shy children can take the Brave Feeling to recess or center time as a tangible reminder that it takes courage to ask to play when feeling shy. Make a point of checking in with this child

to see how it went. Allow the child to share with the class if they are willing. • Acknowledge children who make an effort to join games. Give that child the Brave Feeling to hold.

CULTURAL CONSIDERATIONS In Western cultures, shyness is not typically seen as a positive quality because these cultures tend to encourage assertiveness. Eastern cultures tend to focus on group cohesiveness (which requires behavioral restraint and compliance), so silence and inhibited behavior are often encouraged and valued. A shy child may be described by parents and teachers as “well-behaved.” Talk to parents to ensure you are reinforcing what is important for their culture.

BUG TO THE RESCUE! Bug has helped a number of shy, reluctant children feel more comfortable with others. Give Bug to the child as he/she enters the room and allow him/her to hold Bug. If other children ask why he/she has Bug, explain to the children that we all learn differently and need special kinds of help. As the child gains confidence, Bug can be on the table while coloring or next to him/her at floor time. Give support and opportunities for social interaction, but don’t force interactions.Typically, a shy, reluctant child will need Bug’s support less and less as skills and confidence develop.

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WEEK 16: LEFT OUT FEELING (JOINING IN) EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Book Appreciation OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (read books in an engaging manner) Recommended Books: • The Very Lonely Firefly by Eric Carle (ages 2–4). The lonely firefly is searching for other fireflies. His search leads him to other sources of light, such as a candle and a flashlight, until he finally finds the friends he was looking for. • The Lonely Scarecrow by Tim Preston (ages 4–7). A lonely scarecrow is ignored by everyone because he is covered by a thick blanket of snow. Before long, he is transformed into a jolly snow man and is welcomed for the first time into the animals’ games. • Two by Kathryn Otoshi (ages 4 and up). This book is a powerful story about friendship, loss, letting go, and self-discovery.

Activity 2: Teach Common Playground Games OBJECTIVE: Children will learn how to play common playground games. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Physical Development (gross motor experiences that help children learn physical games with rules and structure) • Sometimes when children don’t know how to play common games, they don’t try to join. • Watch for children who seem confused or unsure how to play games that are commonly played by the rest of the children. • Teach and practice these games so the left-out children feel more comfortable and willing to join in the fun!

Activity 3: The Sorting Game OBJECTIVE: Children will notice how people are similar and different. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (develop sense of competence and curiosity) • Children like to feel that they are part of a group, so sorting by different features can be fun. • This game will be easier to play if children have room to move around freely, outside or in a large space or multipurpose room. • Start with children in a circle and give them an easy sorting task, such as: “Everyone with red on, stand here … Everyone with blue on, stand here.” • Vary the sorting categories as children develop skills. Here are some examples, but feel free to create more of your own: • Number of siblings (those who have no siblings, those with one brother or sister, those with more than two, etc.) • Pets (those who have a dog, cat, bird, fish) • Favorites (colors, foods, games, animals)

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Left Out: Joining In ®

building a school-to-home connec tion

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building a school-to-home connec tion

This week, we talked about feeling left out and the Kimochis® kotowaza that accompanies this emotion: “Make room for everyone.” This Japanese saying inspires children to push themselves to get included and to seek to include everyone in play. Children between the ages of 3 and 4 are becoming more interested in socializing and will engage in “associative play” with little organization and no rules. An older child may be the leader, and younger children will seldom question this authority. Between the ages of 4 and 5, children begin to engage in “cooperative play,” which is organized around group goals with simple rules. It can be difficult for children to enter this play as there can be constant changes in play partners. Working on inclusion skills is important. Research has shown that children who stop to observe play and are confident when making a bid for entry are more likely to be accepted into play. These are the steps your child learned that can help him/her get included in play: • Choose a person who looks friendly or who you know and stand where they can see you. • Call this child’s name. • Give a Communication Tap and wait for eye contact. • Smile and ask, “Can I play?” • Respond with a friendly-sounding “Thank you” and a smile.

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Coach Inclusion During Daily Activities • • •

Guide your child to a group of children who will be most likely to accept him/her. Join the group yourself as a model and then move away as the children include your child. Encouraging your child to do something concrete may help him/her gain entry. For example, if peers are having a tea party, your child could bring a cup and ask for tea. Acknowledge when your child is inclusive and friendly. “I admire how you always say yes when people ask you if they can play with you.”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • • •

WHEN I WAS LITTLE. Recall times when you were young and felt left out. Say, “When I was little, I felt left out when …” Share what you did to make it better and who was kind and included you. GETTING TO KNOW YOU. Playdates are a good way for your child to enjoy one peer at a time. Playdates can be difficult to schedule, but try to invite each child in your child’s classroom for a playdate. Keep it to an hour. Young children can only handle the excitement and interaction for a short time. You want the playdate to be a positive experience for both children. HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME? Tell your child that sometimes kids are having so much fun that they might not see or hear others who want to play too. One way to join in is to say in a friendly way, “Hey, what about me? Can I play too?” Practice with family members. Say it in a friendly way and an unfriendly way. Discuss how voices and faces can make a difference. Make this a family activity by having two family members play together somewhere in the house. Others go on a hunt for them, one at a time. When they find them, they practice getting included by saying, “Hey, what about me? Can I play too?”

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WEEK 17: LEFT OUT FEELING (INCLUDING OTHERS) MAKE ROOM FOR EVERYONE INCLUDING OTHERS IN PLAY At 3 years old, children may not even recognize that peers are feeling left out of play because they are just developing the ability to notice others’ feelings and interests. These children will need adult prompting and guidance to help them understand how and when to include others in their play. By 4 years old, children are beginning to tune in to important features of a social interaction, such as another child’s preferences or desires. They may, however, exclude some children from play if that peer is not a compatible friend. Helping children to understand that everyone can play together is an important part of the early childhood experience.

Lesson 1: Take the Time to Include Others OBJECTIVE: Children will include others in play by asking them to join a playgroup. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Social Awareness VOCABULARY: “Take the time to be kind,” include others MATERIALS: All Kimochis® Characters, Kind Feeling 1. Tell children, “We take the time to be kind and include others. We include others by making eye contact, smiling, and asking them to join.” 2. Pull a name stick and give Cat to that child. Make Bug and Lovey play together near Cat.Turn Lovey to make eye contact with Cat. Have Lovey say, “Hi, Cat. Do you want to play with us?” 3. Pull another name stick. Give Cloud to that child and have them stand close to Cat, Bug, and Lovey. Prompt the child holding Cat to say, “Hi, Cloud. Do you want to play with us?” 4. Pull name sticks to give all the children a chance to hold a Character and invite someone who is standing close by to play. 5. Wrap up by showing the Kind Feeling and saying, “It is kind to take the time to include others.”

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Lesson 2: Use Your Eyes and Ears to Be Kind OBJECTIVE: Children will use their eyes and ears to see and hear when others need help getting included. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Social Awareness MATERIALS: Ball, Bug with wings tucked in back and with Happy, Scared, Shy, and Left Out Feelings tucked in pouch 1. Tell the children that Bug likes it when his Kimochis® friends say, “Hi, Bug. Do you want to play with us?” 2. Ask children to say in unison, “Hi, Bug. Do you want to play?” 3. Pull Bug’s wings out. Make him say, “Sure, I’d love to play.” Have a child pull the Happy Feeling from Bug’s pouch. Ask children, “Why does Bug feel happy?” 4. Tell children, “Today, we are going to learn how to be kind. We can use our eyes to see and our ears to hear when someone wants to play. It makes our friends feel happy when we ask them to play.” 5. Pull three name sticks. Ask these three children to stand in a circle and pass a ball to one another. Pull another name stick. Have the fourth child hold Bug, approach the group, and stand nearby. 6. Show how to use your eyes and ears to notice others and how to use your body to welcome others to join. Turn your body toward the child holding Bug, make eye contact, and say, “Hi, Bug. Do you want to play?” Prompt the child to say, “Sure.” 7. Pull a name stick and have this child hold Bug and stand outside the circle. Have the child who just joined the circle turn and invite the child holding Bug to play: “Hi, Bug. Do you want to play?” Continue adding this way until all children are included in the play circle.

Lesson 3: Joining and Including Others—Puppet Shows OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate the ability to include others who are feeling left out. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Social Awareness MATERIALS: Cat with Shy Feeling tucked in pouch, Bug with Kind Feeling tucked in pouch, Cloud with Friendly Feeling tucked in pouch 1. Say, “Today, we are going to create Kimochis® puppet shows to practice taking the time to be kind and friendly and to include others in play.” Show the Kind and Friendly Feelings. 2. With the children, select a play station in the room, such as the playhouse, toy area, book section, art station. 3. Pull two name sticks. Send those two children with Bug (Kind Feeling tucked in pouch) and Cloud (Friendly Feeling tucked in pouch) to the selected play area. 4. Pull another name stick. Have that child take Cat (Shy Feeling tucked in pouch) and stand near Bug and Cloud. Prompt the children holding Bug and Cloud to be kind and inclusive by saying, “Hi, Cat. Do you want to play?” Ask each child to pull the Feelings from the Characters and tell why the Characters feel that way. Ask the other children to cheer for the Kimochis® Characters who included Cat. 5. Continue pulling name sticks to give different children turns playing the different roles.You can vary the Characters (add Lovey Dove and Huggtopus, so they don’t feel left out!) and the stations around the room if there is time. 186

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COACH INCLUSION DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • • • •

Plan activities that promote interactive and cooperative play. When possible, have enough toys and materials available so several children can play together without conflict. Set up an especially shy child for success by recruiting a more socially confident child to notice a child standing back. Coach the confident child to ask the shy one to join the play. Acknowledge children when they notice and include others who do not yet have the skills to join play on their own. Before recess or free play, hold up the Kind Feeling. Remind children to use their eyes and ears to be kind and notice if children look like they want to be included. If time permits,

when children return, they can hold the Kind Feeling and share how they were included or included others.

PLAY AND CHILDREN WITH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES Children with special needs are particularly vulnerable to difficulties with social relationships. They often have difficulty making friends and are excluded because of their delayed socialemotional development. As a result, they miss out on opportunities to practice socialization with their peers and learn important social skills. Research shows that young children with these challenges can experience feelings of loneliness, sadness, and alienation. Use these ideas to help include a child with special needs: • Encourage parallel or proximity play. The child can play independently beside (rather than engaging with) other children. The children may be in the same play space or may exchange • • •

materials. Coach the child to engage peers with simple comments. For example, “That looks fun.” Do some “social engineering” so that the children with special needs are playing with children who will be accepting and willing to play at their level. Model play schemes, such as feeding/dressing/washing a baby doll, a tea party, or toy car races. Play games with children and model the skills needed for success. For example, in a game of Go Fish, use the “My turn … Your turn” script from the lessons in Week 13, page 155.

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WEEK 17: LEFT OUT FEELING (INCLUDING OTHERS) EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Book Appreciation OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (read books in an engaging manner) Recommended Books: • Alfie Gives a Hand by Shirley Hughes (ages 3–6). Alfie is scared to go to a birthday party, but when there is a little girl who is even more scared than he is, Alfie makes a brave and kind choice. • Fox Makes Friends by Adam Relf (ages 3–5). Little Fox is all alone in his room, with no friends. When Mama suggests he make some, Fox sets out and discovers what pals are really all about. • One by Kathryn Otoshi (ages 4 and up). Learn about numbers, counting, colors, and also about accepting differences. Sometimes it takes just one voice to make everyone count.

Activity 2: Make Room for Everyone Mural OBJECTIVE: Children will express themselves creatively through art. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (open-ended opportunities for creative expression) MATERIALS: Poster paint, butcher or poster paper, markers • Write “Make Room for Everyone!” at the top of a large piece of butcher or poster paper. • Using different colors of poster paint, have children make personal handprints on the mural. • Children can write their name with markers on or under their handprint (or get help from adults in the classroom). Be sure to include everyone (even teachers!) on the mural. Talk about how this mural reminds us to include everyone, all day long. • Hang this in a place as a reminder that everyone wants to matter, count, and be included.

Activity 3: Make Room for Everyone Musical Chairs OBJECTIVE: Children will work together in a cooperative way to make room for everyone. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (interact cooperatively with others) MATERIALS: One chair for each child in a circle facing out, music • Play music as children walk around the outside of the circle. When the music stops, children find a chair to sit in. • Tell children that everyone must be in a seat, even though there will be one fewer chair next time. Remind this because everyone will want to know for certain that they matter and count. We make room for everyone. • Ask children for solutions (for example, two kids sit in one chair). • Play music as children walk around the chairs. Remove one chair and then stop the music. • Prompt children to share a chair if they are unable to cooperate. • This will be difficult at first, but they will learn to make it work and feel happy that everyone has a place to sit! Remind again and again. Make room for everyone. 188

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HOME L I N KS W E E K 1 7

Left Out: Including Others ®

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This week, your child learned how to use their eyes and ears to notice that another child might be feeling left out. We taught children how important it is to take the time to be kind and include everyone. At 3 years of age, youngsters may struggle with this, as they may not recognize that peers are left out of play. They are just developing the ability to notice others’ feelings. A 3-year-old will need prompting and guidance from you to help them know how and when to include others in play. By 4 years of age, children are beginning to tune in to important features of a social interaction, such as another child’s preferences or desires. They may, however, exclude some children from play if that peer is not a compatible friend. Children who are 5 and 6 years of age who are not yet able to include others will benefit from the Kimochis® lessons. Helping children understand that everyone can play together is an important part of the early childhood experience. Join us in helping your child develop the communication habit of including others!

See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

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Common Language “Take the time to be kind”: Never miss a chance to include and be kind to others Use your eyes and ears to be kind: Look and listen for signs that someone is feeling left out and take the time to be kind and include them

Coach Inclusion During Daily Activities • • •

Acknowledge your child when they use their eyes and ears to notice that another child might not have the skills to join play on their own yet. Before playtime with siblings or peers, remind your child, “Remember to use your eyes and ears to be kind and notice if kids look like they want to be included.” Try to notice a parent at school who is outside a conversation and bring them in. If your child notices your kindness, say how good it made you feel to include someone who was left out. And, if they did not witness this interaction, share this story with your child.

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • • •

WHAT’S MISSING? Help your child notice things that are missing as a playful way to improve observation skills to use when noticing others’ feelings. Together, collect items around the house (shoe, plate, magazine, block, pen, spoon). Place three items on the floor in front of you. Close your eyes. Tell your child to take an item and hide it behind him/her. Prompt him/her to say, “Open your eyes. What’s missing?” After you guess, ask your child to close his/her eyes and do the same. Continue to play by increasing the number of items. Observation skills help one have good timing and read social cues. WHO IS LEFT OUT? Collect stuffed animals, action figures, or dolls. Close your eyes while your child hides all the toys except one. Tell your child to put the leftover toy in a designated place where you can’t look. After you have found all the toys, try to remember which one was left out (the one you didn’t find). Do the same with your child. FRIEND SWEEP. Encourage your child to use his/her eyes and ears to get as many children together at recess to play as possible. Have your child think of a game before school. Challenge him/her to invite a few kids and then notice anyone who is left out and invite them too.

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MAD IT’S OKAY TO BE MAD, BUT IT’S NOT OKAY TO BE MEAN.


WEEK 18: MAD FEELING IT’S OKAY TO BE MAD, BUT IT’S NOT OKAY TO BE MEAN YOUNG CHILDREN AND ANGER MANAGEMENT At 3 years old, children are moving away from the physical expression of anger, like hitting, throwing, and kicking. However, they may resort to toddler behavior if unhappy with the outcome of a social situation. They will need guidance to remember to use their newfound words to express their anger more positively. By 4 years old, children increasingly know that self-regulation is expected and that angry outbursts will bring negative results. Nevertheless, they will still have outbursts of anger and will need adults to help them express those intense feelings in a more positive way.

Lesson 1: Kotowaza: It’s Okay to Be Mad, But It’s Not Okay to Be Mean OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate how to use the Mad kotowaza as a tool to manage feelings of anger. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Responsible SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Management VOCABULARY: Mad, angry, mean MATERIALS: Cloud with Mad Feeling tucked in pouch 1. Turn Cloud’s head to his mad side. Pull a name stick. Have child pull the Mad Feeling from Cloud’s pouch. Remind children that Cloud can get really mad and talk about what that feels and sounds like. Ask: • “Show me your mad face. Look at Jillian’s mad face.” • “Show me your mad feet, your mad hands, your mad hair …” • “Make a mad sound.” 2. Tell children that Cloud works hard to remember the Mad kotowaza: “It’s okay to be mad, but it’s not okay to be mean.” Reassure them by saying, “Cloud is here to teach us that it is helpful to tell our friends what makes us feel mad. Let’s practice.” 3. Hold Cloud with his mad face. Share what can create mad feelings for you. Model by saying, “Sometimes I feel mad when …” 4. Pass Cloud to children who wish to share what makes them feel mad. Prompt them with, “Sometimes I feel mad when …” 5. Say, “I am going to keep Cloud [name place where he is stored] so that when you feel mad, you can get Cloud and his Mad Feeling to hold. Some of you might like to come to me and tell me why you are feeling mad. Together, you and Cloud can feel better.”

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Lesson 2: Help Cloud Use a Serious Face and Voice OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate how to use a Serious Face and Voice to express mad feelings in a positive, helpful way. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Respectful SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Management VOCABULARY: Serious Face and Voice, serious MATERIALS: Cloud with Mad Feeling tucked in pouch, all the Kimochis® Characters 1. Show Cloud’s mad face. Pull the Mad Feeling from his pouch. Say, “Remember how Cloud taught us to use a calm-down breath when we feel mad so we are not unkind? Let’s all practice the calm-down breath.” 2. Say, “Cloud is going to teach us another tool to help us have mad feelings without being mean. It’s called Serious Face and Voice. This tool tells people that what we are saying is very important.” 3. Demonstrate a Serious Face (wide eyes that communicate what you are saying is important). Say, “We make a Serious Face by making our eyes big and wide. Look at me. You try it.” 4. Say, “Now listen to my Serious Voice.” Use slow, stretched speech that communicates that your message is important as you say, “I feel so mad.” 5. Say, “Now you say it with me, ‘I feel so mad.’ ” Practice other sentences with a Serious Face and Voice: “I feel mad because I ripped my picture.” “I feel mad because I couldn’t go on the swing.” 6. Put all the Kimochis® Characters in the center of the circle. Say, “Now you can help Cloud use his Serious Face and Voice with his friends.” 7. Say, “When you know what Cloud could say to his friend, raise your hand.” Act out the following: • Huggs keeps tickling Cloud and Cloud nicely asks him to stop, but Huggs doesn’t. • Cat is bossing Cloud. • Bug invites all the Kimochis® to play, but he forgets to include Cloud. 8. Call on a child with a raised hand. Have that child hold Cloud and answer, “I feel so mad …” 9. Tell children that when you see they need help expressing mad feelings, you will give them the Mad feeling pillow as a reminder to use a Serious Face and Voice.

Lesson 3: Plan for Mad Moments OBJECTIVE: Children will negotiate conflicts using words before seeking help. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Responsible SEL COMPETENCY: Self-Management VOCABULARY: Express MATERIALS: Mad Feeling 1. Do this lesson on the playground or near a play area that frequently creates mad feelings. You can also do this at a central learning area in the classroom. 2. Show the Mad Feeling and say, “Remember that it is okay if you feel mad, but it is not okay to be mean. We’re going to make a plan to help you express mad feelings wherever they happen, like on the playground.” 3. Pass the Mad Feeling to a child who can name something that creates mad feelings. For example, “In the dress-up area, I feel mad when I always have to be the baby.” 194

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4. 5. 6. 7.

Together, brainstorm helpful words the child can say next time this happens in real life: “I feel mad because I want to be the daddy or mommy sometimes.” Create a role-play and have the child put you in this situation so you can model how to: • Call name and wait for eye contact. • Use Serious Face and Voice. • Use helpful words in this upsetting moment. Reverse roles so children can practice this communication tool you modeled. You may need to give them the words. Remind children that mad feelings do happen. But now they have a helpful tool to make their mad feelings smaller or go away. As a result, they won’t accidentally hurt others’ feelings. COACH HOW TO MANAGE MAD FEELINGS DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • • • •

Prompt children to use the calm-down breath when needed in social situations. Guide children to remember to use the calm-down breath and their Serious Face and Voice at recess and at other times of the day when anger frequently flares. Ask them what could happen that might create mad feelings. Brainstorm helpful words to use in these moments to de-escalate the situation. Set up a role-play or show to practice for these predictable moments. Some children might benefit from tucking the Mad Feeling in their pocket. They could hold it when they feel mad to be reminded to use their Serious Face and Voice. Acknowledge children when you observe them using the calm-down breath. At the end of the day, recognize children you noticed using this tool: “Today, I saw Adam and Tammy using the calm-down breath, and it really helped! Stomp your feet if you also used this communication tool.”

MELTDOWNS AND CHILDREN WITH SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES If you have a child who is prone to meltdowns, create a special calm-down spot. If possible, enlist the help of the child. It might be a corner of the room furnished with a beanbag, big pillows to squeeze, a fuzzy blanket, and a favorite book. Refer to Creating a Kimochis Classroom, page 17. Rather than waiting for a meltdown, make it routine for the child to visit the spot throughout the day for enjoyable breaks.This will get him/her used to going there for a calm moment.When you see warning signs of a meltdown, ask the child to go to the spot and practice calm-down strategies. Be sure to reinforce this child with lots of positive feedback for using the calm-down spot and strategies!

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WEEK 18: MAD FEELING EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Book Appreciation OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (read books in an engaging manner) • When I Feel Angry (The Way I Feel Books) by Cornelia Maude Spelman (ages 3–6). A bunny experiences things that make her angry, but she learns ways to behave that won’t hurt others. • When I’m Feeling Angry by Tracy Moroney (ages 3–5). This story explains that feeling angry is okay, but letting angry feelings hurt other people is not okay. • Chocolate-Covered-Cookie Tantrum by Deborah Blumenthal and Harvey Stevenson (ages 3–5). Sophie sees a child with a cookie. She really wants one, but her mom says no. Sophie has a tantrum! This book shows that adults don’t have to give children whatever they want or try to reason with them.

Activity 2: Mad-o-Meter OBJECTIVE: Children will understand that there are different levels of “mad.” AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (learn skills needed to regulate emotions) MATERIALS: Poster board, markers, paper crayons • Explain to children that sometimes we get a little mad, medium mad, or really, really mad. Remind them that it is okay to be mad, but it is not okay to be mean. • Make a giant thermometer to measure feelings showing the different levels of mad listed above. • Copy the faces from the feeling pillows or draw your own to depict the different levels. Children can color them and cut them out to glue on the big thermometer. • Remind children how we can take a calm-down breath (or use other strategies) to cool off. • Hang the Mad-o-Meter in the Kimochis® Corner or somewhere in the classroom where children can see it. Prompt children to look at it when needed.

Activity 3: Shake It Off! OBJECTIVE: Children will use expressive drama skills to imitate mad animals. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (open-ended opportunities for creative expression through drama) • Explain to the children that sometimes animals shake their bodies to get rid of fear or stress. • Ask children to think of an animal and then pretend to be that animal and be mad. • Then say, “Okay, all the [name an animal], shake it off.” Prompt them to shake their whole bodies and stop being mad. Name other animals until everyone has “shaken it off.” • Tell children when you see upset feelings that you might ask them to “Shake it off!”

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HOME L I N KS W E E K 1 8 ®

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Mad

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This week, your child learned about feeling mad and the Kimochis® kotowaza—or Japanese proverb—that accompanies this emotion: “It’s okay to be mad, but it is not okay to be mean.” This kotowaza validates that it is acceptable to have angry or mad feelings (all humans experience them); however, it is not okay for anyone to express those feelings by being mean or unkind to others. We all know how easy it is to use our eyes, face, voice, body language, words, and actions to express anger. Your child learned a communication tool to express mad feelings in an effective way—namely, to use a Serious Face and Voice to help send a message that is strong and clear, but not hurtful. Your child will need guidance and patience to remember how to use these newfound tools when expressing intense feelings. See next page to review the key concepts: Serious Face and Voice.

See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

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Common Language Serious Voice: Slow, stretched speech that communicates that the message is important Serious Face: Wide eyes and raised eyebrows that communicate that what is being said is important

Coach Managing Mad Feelings During Daily Activities • • • •

Guide your child to use the calm-down breath: Put your finger to your nose and say, “Smell a flower …” (breathe in through nose), then, “Blow out a candle” (blow out through mouth). Right before situations that predictably cause mad feelings, remind your child to use a Serious Face and Voice if needed. Role-play and practice together. Model using a Serious Face and Voice when you are feeling mad. Limit your words whenever possible. Acknowledge your child when he/she remembers to express mad feelings in constructive ways. “Kate, I bet your brother will leave your football alone because you told him how you felt in such a kind way.”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • •

MAD WARNING. It helps to give a warning when feelings get charged with anger. When your family is in a good mood, devise a way to let everyone know you are “red hot” with mad feelings, like: “I’m so mad, I don’t want to talk.” Each family member can share what they would like everyone to say and do when they give this signal. Some may prefer to talk, while others may prefer space and privacy to work through mad feelings. MAD PRETENDING. Anger can feel scary because sometimes people do hurtful things with their face, voice, words, and actions when they’re mad. This game can help children see how we can and cannot use our body when we get mad. Take turns pretending to feel mad. This can be fun and playful when each family member gets to role-play BIG mad feelings with their voice and body (stomping feet, making fists, yelling, rolling on the ground). However, no unkind words about others are allowed. One family member is “It.” Family members give “It” a situation that would make him/her feel really mad. This family member pretends to feel really, really mad. Think of other situations that could create mad feelings for each family member. After each turn, share what it feels like when someone is feeling mad and communicates in an upsetting way. Decide that when family members forget to express upset feelings in positive ways, you will gently remind each other of the kotowaza “It’s okay to be mad, but it’s not okay to be mean.”

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PROUD PROUD OF ME… PROUD OF YOU. 248

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WEEK 25: PROUD FEELING PROUD OF ME … PROUD OF YOU PROUD FEELINGS Young children want to be recognized and acknowledged for their accomplishments.The emotion of pride develops as children develop a clearer sense of self. This occurs over time between the ages of 3 and 5. During this stage, children begin to evaluate themselves against others and become more interested in how they are evaluated by others.They may watch other children and try tasks they see others doing. Children love to have their teachers and parents “watch” them do what seems like a big accomplishment for them! In doing that, they are showing their pride and are looking for acknowledgement from the important adults in their lives.

Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Proud of Me … Proud of You OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate how to use the Proud kotowaza to express and share pride in self and others. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Social Awareness VOCABULARY: Proud, celebrate MATERIALS: Lovey Dove with Proud Feeling tucked in pouch 1. Hold Lovey Dove while you say, “Lovey teaches us to look for ways to feel good about ourselves and others. Let’s stand up and put on a proud face. Show me your proud body. Make a proud sound.” 2. Pull a name stick. Have that child pull out the Proud Feeling from Lovey’s pouch. Say, “When we feel proud, we feel good about ourselves.” 3. Hold Lovey Dove and share what makes you feel proud: “I feel proud of me because …” (Name an accomplishment or act that makes you feel proud.) 4. Pass Lovey Dove to children who wish to share why they feel proud: “I feel proud of me because …” Point out the child’s proud facial expression. “Look at Dylan’s proud face.” 5. Introduce children to the Proud kotowaza: “Proud of me … proud of you.” 6. Say, “Everyone here has reasons to feel good inside or proud of themselves. Lovey Dove will teach us how to celebrate ourselves and one another. When we celebrate, we are happy for ourselves and others.” 7. Wrap up by saying, “I am going to put Lovey Dove with her Proud Feeling [name location in class room]. At the end of each day, we can take turns sharing why we feel proud of ourselves and others.” Prompt with, “I feel proud of me because …” and “I am proud of …” (Name what they admire in others.)

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Lesson 2: Lovey Dove’s Proud Nest OBJECTIVE: Children will respond graciously to others’ appreciation of their abilities and accomplishments. CHARACTER PRINCIPLE: Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCY: Relationship Skills VOCABULARY: “Thank you” MATERIALS: Lovey Dove with Proud Feeling tucked in pouch 1. Say, “Today, we are going to learn to say thank you and feel good about ourselves when someone gives us a compliment. A compliment is when someone says something nice about you. A compliment is something you can feel proud about. When we hear a compliment, it is polite to say, ‘Thank you.’ ” 2. Put Lovey Dove with Proud Feeling tucked in pouch in the middle of the circle. Tell the children that the circle is Lovey’s make-believe nest. 3. Pull a name stick for a child to join Lovey Dove in her nest, then say a positive statement about that child’s values (such as patience, perseverance, tolerance, kindness, resiliency): “I notice how kind you are when you share toys with your friends.” 4. Prompt the child to make eye contact with you and reply, “Thank you.” 5. Pull more name sticks to give every child a turn. Compliment them on such values as patience, perseverance, tolerance, compassion, kindness, and resiliency. Children can also give compliments to each other. 6. Wrap up by sharing that everyone has important reasons to feel proud inside. Recognize their ability to thank someone who gives them a compliment that makes them feel proud.

Lesson 3: Name It! OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate appreciation, pride, and respect for differences. CHARACTER PRINCIPLES: Be Respectful, Be Compassionate and Kind SEL COMPETENCIES: Self-Management, Social Awareness VOCABULARY: “Name it,” unique MATERIALS: Huggtopus with Proud and Shy Feelings tucked in pouch. 1. Count Huggtopus’s legs with the children. Ask, “Is Huggtopus different from other octopuses?” 2. Say, “Huggs knows it is okay to be different from other octopuses.” Ask, “How does she feel about being different?” Pull a name stick. Have that child pull the Proud Feeling from Huggs’s pouch. Say, “She feels proud as that is the way she was born. She was born with six legs, and she feels good inside about being different from other octopuses. That is what makes her unique. Being unique is a good thing!” 3. Pull another name stick. Have that child pull the Shy Feeling from Huggs’s pouch. Say, “Huggs is proud she is unique or different, but she also feels shy. You can feel proud and shy at the same time.” (Put the feeling pillows together to show this concept.) Ask, “Why might Huggs feel shy that she is different?” The children will talk about how people may say something. 4. Say, “Today, Huggtopus is going to teach us a tool called ‘Name it,’ which means telling people how you are different, so we can feel proud of who we are and know what to say and do with our shy feelings.” 5. Have Huggtopus tell you or another grown-up, “I have six legs.” Respond with a friendly voice and face and say, “Oh, that’s cool. Want to go play?”

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6. Call “Freeze” and ask the students to describe what they saw happen when Huggs simply “Named it.” Ask children, “Was I kind to Huggs? When you tell people how you are, people are kind. People like to learn about you and understand you.” 7. Ask children to put their legs out in front of them if they want Huggs to “Name it” with them. Go around the circle and have Huggs say to the children with their legs out, “I have six legs.” Prompt children to reply with, “Okay” or “That’s nice” or “Yeah.” 8. Ask children to put their legs out in front of them if they wish to hold Huggtopus and name something unique about themselves. Model first by holding Huggs, looking at her eyes and sharing something that is hard for you, something you are afraid of, or something about yourself that makes you unique. For example, “I’m allergic to eggs.” Often, children with special needs will be the first to take a turn. Remind them to tell Huggs’ eyes. This prompt can make it easier for children to get the words out. Have the children hold Huggs as they take their turn: “I wear glasses” … “I’m not good at cutting with scissors yet” … “I can’t hear out of my left ear.” 9. If a child shares a special need or difference, you will want to say, “Thanks for sharing. You can feel proud of being just the way you are!” One student told Huggs’ eyes that he had an underbite. An other boy told her that he had a webbed toe. You could see and feel the relief these children felt when they were simply able to “Name it.” You can have Huggs respond to children with friendly words such as, “I’m glad you told me.” You can also add, “Is there anything that your friends need to know that would make things better or easier for you?” 10. When a child shares what they need from classmates, you might want to create a role-play so the children can practice acting it out. For example, if a child cannot hear out of their right ear, create a skit in which a friend speaks into their left ear. 11. Wrap up by saying, “Today, Huggtopus taught us how to ‘Name it,’ or tell others unique things about ourselves. We can feel proud and happy to be exactly the way we are.”

COACH PROUD FEELINGS DURING DAILY ACTIVITIES • Give the Proud Feeling to a child when you see an opportunity for them to give a compliment to a peer. Say, “I see Carla practicing patience and waiting for a turn with the glue. You can say, • • •

‘Thank you for waiting, Carla.’ ” Acknowledge your pride in the children. “Mario, I saw you let your friend Liam go first. I call that kind.” Acknowledge children when you observe them practicing “Name it” by stating something that is different about them, their family, their family customs or traditions. Pass around the Proud Feeling at the end of the day or at calendar time for children to share pride in themselves and others.

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WEEK 25: PROUD FEELING EXTENSION ACTIVITIES Activity 1: Book Appreciation OBJECTIVE: Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Early Literacy (read books in an engaging manner) Recommended Books: • I Like Me by Nancy Carlson (ages 3–5). An exuberant pig proclaims, “I like me!” She likes the way she looks and all of her activities. When she makes a mistake, she picks herself up and tries again. • What I Like About Me! by Allia Zobel Nolan (ages 3–5). The kids in this book are as different as night and day, and they love it! A Mylar mirror activity is included on the last page. • Zero by Kathryn Otoshi (ages 3 and up). Learn about numbers, counting, accepting differences, and what it means to find value in yourself and others.

Activity 2: Who Is Proud? OBJECTIVE: Children will identify the peer who is feeling proud. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Social-Emotional Development (name others’ feelings) MATERIALS: Lovey Dove, Proud Feeling • Pick a name stick to choose one child to be “It.” That child gets to hold Lovey Dove and leave the room (with an adult). • Then choose another child to secretly hold the Proud Feeling and make a proud face. • Invite the first child and Lovey Dove back into the classroom, standing in the center of the circle. • Prompt children to say in unison, “Lovey Dove, who is feeling proud?” • The child (with Lovey) tries to find the classmate who is feeling proud. When ready to guess, prompt the child to say, “I think [peer’s name] is feeling proud.” • The child can make as many guesses as needed. When the right child is identified, point out the facial expression: “You read Laura’s facial expression. Her face is saying she feels proud.” • Play several rounds to give children opportunities to be the one who is pretending to feel proud and the one who is looking for pride.

Activity 3: My Proud Picture! OBJECTIVE: Children will decorate a picture using artistic expresssion. AREA OF DEVELOPMENT: Cognitive Development: Creative Expression and Appreciation for the Arts (develop and widen repertoire of skills that support artistic expression) MATERIALS: Camera, cardboard, construction paper, white paper, markers, decorations (glitter, sequins, small shells, fun stickers, buttons, etc.) • Take a happy picture of each child (face only). • Use the cardboard stock to cut out a picture frame to fit the picture. Make it any size you wish. • Let children choose the construction paper to glue to the frame. Put the photo in the frame. • Make a speaking bubble that says, “I feel proud of me because …” Ask each child what they feel proud of and fill in the speaking bubble. Glue the speaking bubble over the child’s head in the photo. • The children can then decorate their frames. • Send home the photo frames to show families how proud their children are! 252

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This week, your child learned about feeling proud and the Kimochis® kotowaza that accompanies pride: “Proud of me … proud of you.” This saying inspires and encourages children to feel pride in themselves as well as others. Young children want to be recognized and acknowledged for their accomplishments. The emotion of pride develops as children develop a clearer sense of self. This occurs over time between the ages of 3 and 5. Children will watch others and try tasks they see them doing. Children also begin to evaluate themselves against others and become more interested in how they are evaluated by others.1 Your child learned communication tools to both give and receive compliments as a way to feel pride and to celebrate the successes of others.

See reverse for ways your entire family can learn from this week’s lesson!

1 Landy, A. 2009. Pathways to Competence: Encouraging Healthy Social and Emotional Development in Young Children. 2nd ed. Baltimore: Brookes Publishing.

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Coach Proud Feelings During Daily Activities • • •

Teach your child to give compliments. Prompt your child by saying, “I see your sister is practicing patience with you while she waited to have a turn. You can say to her, ‘I like how you wait for me.’ ” Acknowledge your pride in your child. Focus on what you value, such as kindness, respect, responsibility, fairness, manners, patience, generosity, perseverance, resiliency, creativity. “Max, I saw that you let your friend Carol go first. That was kind.” Whenever you are given a compliment, reply with, “Thank you.” Give compliments to others, making them specific. For example, instead of saying just, “Good job,” identify exactly what you appreciate or admire: “Good job setting the table so neatly! That was helpful.”

Family Fun: Playful Ways to Practice • • •

PLEASE PASS THE PRIDE. Dinnertime is an ideal time to share your appreciation for one another. Listening to compliments can feel overwhelming for some, so when you make this a tradition at mealtime, everyone can get more comfortable making eye contact, listening, and responding with “Thank you” when given a compliment. You can also respond with, “That was nice of you to say.” PROUDEST MOMENTS. Help your child see that deep pride comes from accomplishments that did not come easily, but rather took effort, patience, and perseverance. Share a story with your child about something in your life that you are proud of that did not come easily. Share a story about something you watched your child accomplish that also did not come easily. Explain it is nice when things come easily, but when things take hard work and you do the work, this is something to feel deep pride in. COMPLIMENTS OF THE FAMILY. Get in the habit of giving specific compliments for things you value. Most people like to feel appreciated, and compliments are one powerful way to show appreciation. Likewise, what we get complimented for helps to develop our sense of pride. Even though your child is young, it is okay to use big words such as “generosity,” “patience,” “compassion.” When you use these words over and over in context, your child will learn what they mean and grow in these important areas.

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The Research Behind It All

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Research on Social-Emotional Learning in the Early Childhood Years The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning defines “social-emotional development” as “the developing capacity of the child from birth through 5 years of age to form close and secure adult and peer relationships; to experience, regulate, and express emotions in socially and culturally appropriate ways; and to explore the environment and learn—all in the context of family, community, and culture” (CSEFEL 2008). Below is an evidence-based case for why children should be intentional taught SEL skills in the early years. • Preschool programs can produce positive effects on children’s behavior and later reductions in crime and delinquency when designed to develop the whole child, including social and emotional development and self-regulation (Barnett 2008). • Children who enter kindergarten with positive emotional competence, developed social skills and self-regulation have improved attitudes about school and improved grades and achievement (Spodek and Saracho, 2013). • A convincing body of evidence has been accumulated to indicate that unless children achieve minimal social competence by about the age of 6 years, they have a high probability of being at risk for social-emotional difficulties as adults (Ladd 2000; Parker and Asher 1987). • Strong evidence links social-emotional health in the early childhood years (birth to 6) to: • Subsequent school success and health in preteen/teen years • Long-term health and well-being in adulthood • Promotion of resilience • Prevention of later mental health problems (Durlak et al. 2011) • Research suggests that a child’s social and emotional adaptation and academic and cognitive development are enhanced by frequent opportunities to strengthen social competence during early childhood (Hartup and Moore 1990; McClellan and Kinsey 1999). • Research stresses that promoting young children’s social-emotional competencies significantly enhances school readiness and success (Denham and Weissberg 2004; Freedman 2003). • A landmark review recently found that students who receive SEL instruction improved an average of 11 percentile points on standardized achievement tests (Durlak et al. 2011). • Research by the Child Mental Health Foundations and Agencies Network (2000) found that when children enter kindergarten socially and emotionally incompetent, they are often not successful in the early years of school. In addition, they can have behavioral, emotional, academic, and social development problems into adulthood. • Social-emotional development and cognitive development are intertwined. The two cannot be seen as independent, as they affect each other (Preschool California 2012). • Young children must learn to send and receive emotional messages using their knowledge about emotions and their abilities to regulate emotions so that they may successfully negotiate interpersonal exchanges, form relationships, and maintain curiosity about and enthusiasm for www.kimochis.com

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their world. When they do so, they have more satisfying, successful relationships with others, especially with new peers (Denham 1998; Halberstadt and Lozada 2011). Recent reviews of the research have concluded that “there is a growing body of scientifically-based research supporting the strong impact that enhanced social and emotional behaviors have on success in school and ultimately in life” (Zins et al. 2004).

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The Development of the Kimochis Early Childhood Curriculum ®

In the development of the lessons and activities that comprise the Kimochis® Feel Guide: Early Childhood Edition, important conceptual paradigms and research findings were consistently referred to. In addition, the following important elements necessary for a sound social-emotional learning program were considered: • Research and resources • The young child’s brain and social-emotional development • Emotional intelligence (emotional competence) • Five core social-emotional competencies, as defined by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) • Development of emotional literacy • Instructional design in social-emotional learning programs • Influence of character education principles • Positive behavior supports based on the Teaching Pyramid Model • Gender differences • Cultural considerations • Strategies and Enhancements for Students with Social-Emotional Challenges • Alignment with standards (e.g., Head Start and numerous state standards) RESEARCH AND RESOURCES The Kimochis® Feel Guide: Early Childhood Edition is based on sound theories of child development and social-emotional learning. Scientific, empirically based research studies were referred to while developing the Kimochis® Lessons, to ensure that concepts and approaches proven to have beneficial effects on the development of social-emotional skills in children were included. A number of theoretical models and conceptual paradigms were studied, including: theories of emotional intelligence (Goleman 1995; Bar-On and Parke 2000); the social information processing model (Crick and Dodge 1994); social cognitive theory (Bandura 1989); and cognitive behavioral therapy (Kendall 2005). In addition, the following resources were utilized to attain current research and information on social-emotional learning in early childhood education: Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL); Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL); Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention (TACSEI); and National Early Childhood Technical Assistance Center (NECTAC). Numerous books, articles, and journals on early childhood were also reviewed for relevant and recent research regarding social-emotional learning in young children (see “References” in Appendix K).

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THE YOUNG CHILD’S BRAIN AND SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT Research has unequivocally documented that early experiences have a significant effect on the development of children’s brains and cognitive, social, physical, and emotional underpinnings. Actually, 85% of a person’s brain development occurs before age 5. These first years of life set the stage for lifelong development (National Research Council and Institute of Medicine 2000). When an infant is born, 100 billion brain cells or neurons are in the brain. However, the critical connections that determine a child’s emotional, social, and intellectual structure are not yet developed. These critical connections are formed by the care, attention, and stimulation provided by parents, caregivers, and early childhood educators. When children experience positive and nurturing interactions, a release of chemicals is activated in a child’s brain that rouses activity and promotes growth and development (National Scientific Council on the Developing Child 2004; Shonkoff and Meisels 2000). This chemical reaction occurs when the child is interested and engaged and involved in social contact that is positive and interactive (Thompson 2000). Repeated positive experiences are essential for children’s brains to make strong connections and to make those connections permanent (Education Commission of the States 2006). For example, when adults repeat words and phrases to their babies, the infants learn to understand speech and strengthen the language connections in the brain. Connections are also strengthened when children have daily opportunities to practice their developing social competence and to interact directly with their environment (Wisconsin Council on Children and Families 2007). By the time a child is 3 years old, the child’s brain has formed about 1,000 trillion connections, almost twice as many as adults have. The developing brain is particularly sensitive to environmental influences, such as toxic early life stress or trauma. The brain continues to develop certain capabilities throughout life, but most of the critical structural and functional organization takes place in childhood. In fact, by the age of 3, the brain has reached 90% of adult size, while the body is still only about 18% of adult size (Perry 2000). Dr. Bruce Perry has studied children who have experienced severe trauma and/or neglect and found that these children have altered brain growth. During traumatic experiences, children’s brains are constantly in a fear state. This activation of key neural systems in the brain leads to adaptive changes in emotional, behavioral, and cognitive functioning that promotes survival. The chronically traumatized child can develop a host of physical signs (e.g., altered cardiovascular regulation) and symptoms (e.g., attentional, sleep, and mood problems) that can make their lives difficult (Perry 2013). Luckily, the brain is “plastic,” meaning it is able to change its response to experiences, especially in early childhood. Early identification and intervention is crucial to modifying and influencing the development of traumatized children in positive ways. Early childhood educators have an opportunity to make a difference for young children and their development. In a study completed by the National Institute for Early Education Research (2007), results indicated that every type of early childhood program examined had moderate positive effects in all domains of child development. Early childhood programs work!

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE) When Daniel Goleman published his first book on emotional intelligence in 1995, it was seen as a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea. His beliefs about emotional intelligence are summarized thusly: “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far” (Goleman 1995). “Emotional intelligence” is defined as the ability to understand, empathize with, and respond appropriately to others. The term “emotional competence” is often used when talking about early childhood because of its developmental emphasis (Denham, Zinsser, and Bailey 2011). Emotional competence includes a child’s ability to appropriately express, interpret, and regulate their emotions, as well as to understand the emotions of others. These abilities work together to make a school experience successful (Izard et al. 2001). Emotions are everywhere in the early childhood classroom. Young children develop emotional competence as they learn alongside and in collaboration with their teachers and peers. Emotional competence is also directly related to success in relationships. When young children are able to use the knowledge and skills they have learned about emotions, they can skillfully negotiate relationships and keep a healthy curiosity about the world and others (Rubin, Bukowski, and Parker 2006). The lessons contained in the Kimochis® Feel Guide: Early Childhood Edition teach children how to recognize and understand emotions in themselves and others. Children also learn effective self-regulation skills that help them make responsible social decisions in emotionally charged moments. This guide is based on the premise that feelings fuel behavior and, therefore, children need concrete tools to help them cope with these behaviors in an emotional world. THE FIVE CORE SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL COMPETENCIES (CASEL) According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (2003), the goal of an SEL program is to foster the development of five interrelated sets of cognitive, affective, and behavioral competencies: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making. These five core competencies provide children a foundation for social relationships and academic achievement, as evidenced by more positive social behaviors, fewer conduct problems, less emotional distress, and improved test scores and grades (Greenberg et al. 2003). As children master these competencies, they develop concern for others, make good choices, and take responsibility for their behaviors. Accordingly, the Kimochis® Lessons were developed around these five core competencies. 1. Self-Awareness Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and name personal emotions. It also includes the ability to understand your own needs, as well as your strengths and limitations. This awareness of self is crucial to early school success. When children have an awareness of their own emotions, thinking, and behavior, www.kimochis.com

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they have a better chance to succeed in school, life, and work (Galinsky 2010). A critical component in understanding others is being able to label feelings that reach beyond the basics of happy, sad, and angry. For social success, a child needs to recognize where along an emotional continuum our communicative partner may be and figure out how our partner’s emotional state affects (or should affect) our behavior (Vagin 2012). Research has shown that 4-year-olds have an understanding of their psychological selves and of their feelings and intentions. As self-understanding develops, it guides moral development and also sets the stage for self-control and self-regulation (Marsh, Craven, and Debus 1998; Marsh, Ellis, and Craven 2002). Young children who can identify emotions in themselves are more likely to have success when they transition into kindergarten (Eisenberg, Fabes, and Losoya 1997). 2. Self-Management Self-management is the ability to regulate emotions and behaviors so that goals are achieved. It also involves persevering with difficult tasks and in complex social interactions. By age 4, children can begin to self-regulate by anticipating what to do and changing their responses (Florez 2011). It requires children to remember and generalize what they have been taught, to initiate changes in their behavior, and to constantly monitor their behavior in varying situations. These foundational self-management skills are emerging during the preschool years as the brain develops (Shonkoff and Phillips 2010). A very important job of parents, caregivers, and early childhood educators is to provide experiences to children that allow them to manage and regulate their emotions. This job continues throughout early childhood into the adolescent years. The development in self-management is visible in the difference between the impulsivity of a toddler and the deliberate behavior of a 5-year-old. The relevancy of self-management skills to school success is obvious. When early childhood educators are asked to identify areas of critical importance with regard to school success, they often name competence in cooperation and self-control as highly significant (Lane, Pierson, and Givner 2003). 3. Social Awareness Social awareness is the ability to understand what others are feeling and have the understanding to take their perspective. Theory of mind is the ability to understand how different beliefs, motivations, moods, and levels of knowledge affect our own behavior as well as the behavior of those around us. Theory of mind is a necessary component of perspective-taking. Perspective-taking refers to our ability to relate to others, empathize with them, and see things from their viewpoint. In order to do this, we must be able to perceive what their motivations are as well appreciate their feelings and thoughts. Researchers also refer to social awareness as the development of empathy, which is the response we have when we are able to recognize and understand another’s emotions. Empathy plays an important role in relationship to academic and emotional success. It has been found that children who have good perspective-taking skills are better liked by their peers (Fitzgerald and White 2003). Preschoolers progress through a period of development that helps them to understand that people’s intentions, desires, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are motivators of behavior. As their ability to identify emotions in others increases, they are able to explain the causes of emotions and their consequences in developmentally more complex ways (Denham 2006; Lagattuta and Thompson 2007). Preschoolers 262

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who are more socially and emotionally perceptive have greater success in their relationships with peers and adults (Denham et al. 2003). 4. Relationship Skills To be successful in school, children need to be able to form positive social relationships, work together, and deal effectively with conflict. Research suggests that when children are intentionally taught social skills, given opportunities to practice, and provided guidance in teachable moments, they develop positive peer relationships, acceptance, and friendships (Dunn and McGuire 1992). Children who learn social-emotional skills early in life are more self-confident, trusting, empathic, intellectually inquisitive, competent in using language to communicate, and capable of relating well to others (Cohen et al. 2005). When young children are provided practical social-emotional strategies and modeling by adults, they develop the ability to initiate and join groups of peers, to cooperatively and spontaneously share with others, to communicate in ways that others understand, and to use strategies (i.e., turn-taking) to avoid conflict (Howes 1987 and 1988; Vandell, Nenide, and Van Winkle 2006). Children who enjoy positive relationships with peers experience higher levels of emotional well-being and have self-beliefs that are stronger and more adaptive than children without positive peer relationships. They also tend to be engaged in and even excel at academic tasks more than those who have peer relationship problems (Rubin, Bukowski, and Parker 2006). 5. Responsible Decision-Making When young children learn to make positive choices about their personal and social behavior, they are making responsible decisions. Focus in the classroom and school community needs to be placed on problem-solving, reflection, perceptive thinking, self-direction, and motivation skills that will contribute to lifelong success (Adams and Hamm 1994). Research shows that students need effective problemsolving skills when making decisions about social situations (Denham and Almeida 1987). Children also need to know how to make good choices about their own behavior in the classroom and at school. These five core social-emotional competencies are taught throughout the Kimochis速 Lessons in this guide. At the top of each lesson, you will find a reference to which core competency is taught in that specific lesson. Refer to the tables in Appendix H and J to see how the lessons in the curriculum are aligned with these five core competencies. DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL LITERACY To correctly perceive emotions in themselves and others, children need to have rich, diverse emotional language. When children have a wide range of emotional vocabulary, they are able to discriminate more easily between feelings (for example, mad as opposed to disappointed).They also can communicate with others more effectively about their internal feeling states and talk about their own personal social experiences (Feldman et al. 1993). Children who have a strong base in emotional literacy cope with frustration better, are less physically aggressive, and have fewer self-destructive behaviors than children who do not.These children are also healthier, not as lonely, have better impulse control, are more focused, and have greater academic achievement (Joseph, Strain, and Ostrosky 2005).

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Children are building their vocabulary by leaps and bounds in preschool. Researchers have found that children can acquire and retain two or three words a day through instruction that is contextualized (in-the-moment) and contains clear explanations of new words (Stahl1999). Other researchers have found that direct and explicit approaches are effective in increasing children’s vocabulary (Whitehurst and Lonigan 1988). The ability to label emotions is a learned skill and develops at different rates for different children. Three important variables influence how individual children develop their emotional vocabulary: (1) the child’s temperament and personality; (2) parental or caregiver support; and (3) amount of emphasis placed on building emotional literacy by early childhood educators and caregivers (Joseph, Strain, and Ostrosky 2005). Adult input can have a significant influence on how children develop their “language of feelings.” When parents and adults directly teach emotional vocabulary and incidentally reinforce the vocabulary concepts throughout the social day, children will develop a rich “feeling vocabulary” to use in challenging social situations (Novick 2002). The Kimochis® Lessons provide children, educators, and parents a common vocabulary that allows everyone to “speak the same language” about feelings and emotions. When everyone understands and uses this feeling vocabulary, social-emotional learning is consistent across all learning environments. Adults can give prompts using the vocabulary to guide children to do and say the right thing in challenging emotional situations. Peers can learn to cue each other using gentle prompts that foster mutual respect, kindness, and compassion. Refer to the “Vocabulary” notes in each lesson as well as to the Kimochis® glossary in the Appendix for terms and language cues applicable to this curriculum. The Homelinks letters, which are handouts for parents, also define the common language used in the Kimochis® Lessons so parents can prompt and guide their children at home, reinforcing all they learn in school.

INSTRUCTIONAL DESIGN IN SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL LEARNING PROGRAMS SEL programs typically entail an instructional process that ensures that children will learn and use the skills the programs impart in everyday life decisions and contexts. A sound and widely adopted instructional design that features “fundamental and incidental” core features used in many empirically supported approaches to SEL programs, is described in Maurice Elias’s contribution to the edited book Building Academic Success on Social and Emotional Learning: What Does the Research Say? (Elias 2004). These core features include: Identify a skill and state a rationale for its use in children’s lives: The Kimochis® Lessons were carefully selected based on early childhood standards and research as necessary for successful social-emotional functioning. Each lesson has a clearly stated objective that informs early childhood educators of the learning goal for the lesson. Model and teach components of the skill: The Kimochis® Lessons initially demonstrate the skill through adult modeling. The Kimochis® Characters are also used to demonstrate the skill through “puppet shows.”

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Provide rehearsal and feedback in a safe environment: Students practice the skill immediately after the modeling/teaching component by using the Kimochis® Characters and enacting role-plays with other children. This creates a safe environment that provides children opportunities for rehearsal and feedback. Offer prompts and cues and ensure recognition/reinforcement for real-world skill application: Each week’s lessons include suggestions that early childhood educators can follow to prompt and cue children to generalize the learned skills to everyday activities. Strategies are also provided to guide early childhood educators on how to acknowledge and reinforce children when they use the new skills throughout the school day. Each lesson in the Kimochis® Feel Guide: Early Childhood Edition is based on this approach to instructional design. CHARACTER EDUCATION PRINCIPLES Character development is the foundation of successful social interaction. The sooner character values are learned, the more natural they become to children. Developing character is often seen as the responsibility of parents. However, this task can be shared by schools and the community. Character education is the deliberate effort to develop values that are good for the individual and good for society. Dr. Thomas Lickona (1991) defined these values as good because they: • Affirm our human dignity • Serve the common good • Promote the well-being and happiness of the individual • Define our rights and obligations • Answer the question: “Would you want to be treated this way?” • Answer the question: “Would you want everyone to act this way in a similar situation?” The Kimochis® early childhood curriculum integrates five character values or principles into the lessons. These core values reflect the Kimochis® Way. Children learn tools and strategies that help them live these values and principles daily. These character principles are directly aligned with the lesson objectives in the curriculum. Be Respectful • Use considerate voice, face, and words • Listen to others and be open-minded • Demonstrate tolerance and acceptance of differences • Show consideration for others’ feelings • Cooperate with others

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Be Responsible • Speak up for self and others • Know the difference between right and wrong • Admit and own mistakes • Be in control of words and actions • Align words and actions • Choose to be truthful Be Resilient • Bounce back from disappointments and challenges • Work through difficult emotions • Turn adversity into something positive Be Compassionate and Kind • Have empathy and concern for others • Look for moments to be kind to self and others • Be open-minded • Forgive others • Express gratitude Be Brave • Do the right thing, even if it is unpopular or inconvenient • Try new things • Persevere with difficult tasks and actions POSITIVE BEHAVIOR SUPPORT THROUGH THE TEACHING PYRAMID MODEL Positive behavior support (PBS) is a process that focuses on children’s challenging behaviors as a way to understand the purpose of the behaviors and to teach new skills to replace the challenging behaviors. Recent research has demonstrated that PBS can result in a decrease in problem behaviors (Fox 2003). The PBS process provides strategies for early childhood educators and families to help children with challenging behaviors become more successful in school, at home, and in the community. Recently, PBS has been seen as a model to be implemented schoolwide, whereby the staff work together to ensure that children understand behavioral expectations and receive instruction in social-emotional learning. The Teaching Pyramid Lise Fox and her colleagues conceptualized a tiered framework for early childhood classrooms to support positive behavior (Fox et al. 2003). This framework, labeled the Teaching Pyramid Model (see figure page 267), provides a continuum of supports and services designed for young children to build social competence and prevent challenging behaviors. This framework has three tiers of intervention. The first tier of the Teaching Pyramid Model consists of two levels of a universal classroom practice that focuses on the prevention of challenging behaviors and the development of social competence in all children. The first level focuses on developing positive relationships with children, families, and staff. Research supports the notion that responsive and nurturing relationships are essential to a child’s development (National Research Council 2000).These early relationships set the foundation for future relationships. Practices such as actively engaging children, teaching within routines and play, responding 266

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to children’s verbal interactions, promoting the communication of all children, and reinforcing and encouraging attempts at learning are encouraged. The second level of the universal tier involves providing a supportive learning environment, including implementing a curriculum that promotes learning in all developmental areas, using developmentally and culturally appropriate teaching practices, providing predictability in classroom rules and routines, reinforcing clear behavioral expectations, and providing a physically safe environment. For many children, these two levels of classroom practice may be all that are needed to support average social-emotional development. The secondary prevention tier of the Teaching Pyramid Model focuses on children who are delayed or may be at risk for developing age-appropriate social skills and emotional regulation. All preschool-aged children need some level of adult guidance and instruction to learn how to express their emotions, play with peers, and solve problems. However, some children will need more focused intervention to learn specific social-emotional skills (Denham et al. 2003; Strain and Joseph 2006). Families of these children will also need guidance to help them foster social-emotional competence at home. The tertiary intervention tier of the Teaching Pyramid Model applies to a few young children who have patterns of persistent challenging behaviors and need an individualized, comprehensive intervention approach. Although the lower levels of the pyramid may be in place, these children need a behavioral assessment to determine the function of their challenging behaviors.They also require an individualized behavior support plan outlining specific strategies to address the triggers of each behavior, teach replacement behaviors, and provide consistent response to problem behaviors (Dunlap and Fox 2009).

Teaching Pyramid Model 1

INTENSIVE INDIVIDUALIZED

TARGETED SOCIAL & EMOTIONAL SUPPORTS

HIGH QUALITY SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENTS

TIER 3 Tertiary

TIER 2 Secondary

TIER 1 Universal Promotion

NUTURING AND RESPONSIVE RELATIONSHIPS STAFF AND CAREGIVERS

1 Fox, L., Dunlap, G., Hemmeter, M.L., Joseph, G. E., and Strain, P.S. (2003). The teaching pyramid: A model for supporting social competence and preventing challenging behavior in young children. Young Children, 58 (4), 48.

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The Kimochis® early childhood curriculum can be used as a Tier 1, universal, classroom-based program to equip children with the knowledge, skills, and attitudes they need to recognize and manage their emotions, demonstrate caring and concern for others, establish positive relationships, make responsible decisions, and handle challenging situations constructively. The Kimochis® early childhood curriculum can also be used as a Tier 2, secondary prevention program. Educators can use the curriculum in small-group settings to focus on specific skills that are especially problematic for children in this population. These difficult skills could include: sharing, taking turns, handling upset feelings, cooperating and attending in a large group, and proficiency in play with others. Finally, the Kimochis® early childhood curriculum could also be used in a Tier 3, focused intervention program for children receiving individualized attention directed at specific areas of skill-building. GENDER DIFFERENCES Gender differences are biological, in addition to being cultural. The biological foundation for gender differences includes hormonal influences on the brain (Berger 2003). These differences begin in the fetal stage of development, when the sex hormones begin to influence brain development. This continues throughout childhood. These gender differences in the growth of the brain result in overall development that is different for each sex. For example, infant girls tend to talk earlier than boys, and their language development continues to be more advanced than that of boys throughout early childhood (Fenson et al. 1994; Leaper, Anderson, and Sanders 1998). The average preschool boy tends to be more aggressive, whereas the girls tend to be more verbal. In general, the development of boys’ brains and overall nervous systems is delayed compared to that of girls (Berk 2002; Leaper, Anderson, and Sanders 1998). Brain development has an effect on the development of cognition, emotional regulation, and attention. This could influence a boy’s readiness for school in areas such as attention span, activity level, and academic achievement. It is important for early childhood educators to reflect on their own attitudes about boys and girls. Any hidden bias or preconception must be examined, as it may influence interactions with the children and how they are taught. This reflection will help teachers interact with both boys and girls with fairness and equality. It is also important to remember that many gender-related characteristics at this young age are likely to be shaped by cultural and family influences. The Kimochis® Lessons in this guide incorporate interesting facts and information about gender differences. These provide insight to help teachers understand their students and how gender might influence their behaviors. If a child raises worrisome questions about gender in the classroom, be sure to talk to the child’s parents or caregivers. CULTURAL CONSIDERATIONS When considering the social-emotional development of young children, culture must be seen as an important and dynamic influence. Children of all cultures are expected to develop basic social-emotional competence. However, a child’s culture will have an effect on how this competency is taught and achieved (Rubin and Menzer 2010). 268

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It is very important to avoid the use of stereotypes (generalizations about specific groups) to describe differences in cultures. But being aware of some cultural generalizations can help us understand what is considered acceptable and unacceptable behavior among certain people and places, helping us interact more effectively. Building one’s knowledge of cultural beliefs can help avoid misunderstandings and help provide the best education for children. There will always be differences between individuals within a culture and in different situations. Teachers may have a multicultural classroom with children from many different cultures. It would be very difficult to learn the specific social values and beliefs of each. Therefore, one way to think about world cultures is as either “individualistic” or “collectivistic.” Each of these worldviews can influence how early childhood educators approach the education of young children (Kruse and Neill 2006). Western cultures (such as the United States, Canada, Australia, and Europe) tend to focus on the individual and independence. This worldview promotes individual achievement, self-expression, and personal choice. Self-esteem is typically developed by providing praise. Cognitive skills and verbal skills are highly valued. This worldview tends to generate a high level of productivity and individual freedom. However, unsuccessful social relationships and social isolation can sometimes result. Many Hispanic and Asian cultures tend to be more collectivistic, meaning that they see themselves as members of a group who are dependent upon one another. Group consensus, cooperation, and success are encouraged. Respect for cultural norms, authority figures, and elders is promoted. Normal behavior and social skills in children tend to be developed through censure rather than praise. This worldview can foster a high level of cooperation and solidarity within a group. As early childhood educators work with children and parents from different cultures, it is important to remember that both worldviews are essential to the development of social-emotional competence. Understanding these worldviews will help nurture children’s independence, initiative, and self-esteem, in addition to group cooperation, collaboration, and development of empathy. This approach allows accommodation of all the cultures of the children in the classroom. Throughout the Kimochis® Lessons, information on cultural influences is interspersed where relevant. If questions arise about a child’s cultural values or beliefs, ask the child’s parents or caregivers for clarification. They can provide the best information about how to respond to questions or concerns that might arise. ALIGNMENT TO EARLY CHILDHOOD STANDARDS The Kimochis® early childhood curriculum is highly compatible with a range of state, federal, and professional association standards. The curriculum also aligns closely with the Head Start Child Development and Early Learning Framework: Social and Emotional Development Domain. For further information, refer to the Kimochis® Educators Portal at www.kimochis.com.

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Appendix

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APPENDIX A: MORE FEELINGS Other Feelings Identification and Self-Awareness of Feelings MATERIALS: Any of the following Feelings: Embarrassed, Uncomfortable, Jealous, Guilty, Sleepy, Grateful, Hopeful 1. Hold one of the feeling pillows and read the name of it aloud. (Have the children repeat after you.) 2. Show the feeling on your face. (Have children imitate.) 3. Tell the children what the feeling means. 4. Give an example of when someone might have this feeling: “You could feel uncomfortable when …” 5. Ask the children to clap their hands if they have ever had this feeling. 6. Children can hold the feeling pillow if they wish to share a time they experienced this feeling. “I felt uncomfortable when …” 7. Wrap up this lesson by inviting your class to look for this feeling during the school day.

Grateful Feeling: The Grateful Circle MATERIALS: Grateful Feeling 1. Model how to show gratefulness by starting a “Grateful Circle.” Hold the Grateful Feeling and say one thing you are grateful for. Ask children to put their hands on their heads if they also feel grateful for the same thing. 2. Ask other adults in the room to say what they are grateful for. This may give children some ideas about their own gratitude. If they are unable to name things on their own, continue to list things one at a time and ask children to put their hands on their heads if they are grateful for that too. 3. You could also prompt children with pictures or short phrases. For example, “What about a soft bed?”

Sleepy Feeling: Sleep and Wake Up! MATERIALS: Sleepy Feeling 1. Show the Sleepy Feeling. Tell children that they will dance, hop, jump, sing. 2. Say, “When l say ‘Sleep!’ everyone must fall to the ground (safely) and start snoring until I say ‘Wake up!’ Then you all have to get up and start dancing.” 3. Do several rounds and then pull a name stick for a child to hold the Sleepy Feeling and say the direction words. 4. This game is great for building listening skills and creative movement.

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Sleepy Feeling: Wake Up, Sleepy Bear MATERIALS: Sleepy Feeling, pictures of bears 1. Show the children pictures of bears. Tell them that bears go to sleep all winter, which is called “hibernation.” 2. Pull a name stick. That child goes to the middle of the circle and curls up like a hibernating bear. Put a blanket over the child. 3. Pull another name stick, but don’t call out the child’s name. Just point to the child. Tell the child to go over to the “sleeping bear” and say, “Time to wake up!” while gently tapping him/her. That child goes back to his/her spot in the circle. 4. The “sleeping” child gets up and tries to guess who did the waking up. You can give hints if needed (the child has brown hair, etc.). Allow for several guesses until the child who tapped identifies him/herself. Pull name sticks for more turns.

Hopeful Feelings: We Are Hopeful MATERIALS: Hopeful Feeling 1. Read the book Can You Say Peace? (ages 3–6) by Karen Katz. This book was written in celebration of the United Nations International Day of Peace on September 21. 2. Show the Hopeful Feeling and talk about how we are hopeful that everyone in the world gets along and is kind to one another. Talk about the different words for “peace” in the different languages in the book. 3. The last few pages make the point that no matter where they live, all children the world over want the same things: to go to school, to walk in their towns and cities, to play outside, to share food with their families, and to feel safe.

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APPENDIX B: INTRODUCTION TO KIMOCHIS HOMELINKS: BUILDING A SCHOOL-TO-HOME CONNECTION ®

Dear Families, Welcome to an exciting school year! This year, we are implementing a new social-emotional learning and character education program—the Kimochis® early childhood curriculum. Kimochi means “feeling” in Japanese. The curriculum is based on research documenting that when instruction in building social, emotional, and behavioral skills is provided at a young age, there is a positive effect on how children problem-solve and interact with their peers later in life. Your child will learn how to recognize and manage emotions, demonstrate caring and concern for others, establish positive relationships, make responsible decisions, and handle challenging situations constructively. We will have fun and practical lessons each week that will teach your child these skills and more! This program has three units that teach different skills. Each week, you will receive a letter (School-toHome Connection) that outlines what your child was taught and how you can reinforce and extend the learning at home. We hope Kimochis® will be a great new addition to your family and will bring fun and fantastic feelings into your home! During the first unit (weeks 1–5), your child will be introduced to the five Kimochis® Characters. Each Character has a different personality and temperament, just like all children! Each Character has a favorite food, number, and color. But most of all, they all have feelings that define their personalities and behavior. The Kimochis® Lessons will teach your child new emotional vocabulary and simple strategies to cope with challenging social moments. Attached please find the Glossary of Kimochis® Vocabulary. The next unit (weeks 6–10) focuses on the Kimochis® Keys to Communication. These keys lie at the heart of the program. They provide the communication tools to help your child learn how to listen openly, make good choices, be willing to speak in respectful and responsible ways, and be open to negotiating problems. Attached please find the Kimochis® Keys to Communication. Our last unit (weeks 11–25) will focus on a variety of different feelings, with the emphasis on teaching your child how to manage and express these important feelings in positive ways. Your child will learn communication tools that can be used in elementary school and beyond. We are very excited and hopeful about building a strong school-to-home connection this year. We are also eager to hear how your child is using positive communication skills and habits to express feelings and be compassionate toward others. Sincerely,

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APPENDIX C: GLOSSARY OF KIMOCHIS VOCABULARY ®

Beginner: Someone who is new at something. Body language: All the body postures (head, face, arms, torso, legs) that convey emotion. “Bounce back”: An encouraging way to coach children not to fall apart when disappointed, but to cope and rebound. Calm-down breath: Strategy of taking a deep breath to calm feelings before speaking and/or acting. Calm-down strategies: Strategies children select to help them calm down when feeling upset emotions. These could include: count to 10; take deep breaths; relax muscles in hands; squeeze a stress ball; knead clay; rub a smooth stone; or get up and walk. Communication Tap: A light, gentle tap on the shoulder of another—no more than three times—as a way to politely get attention. Disappointed Snap: A tool to help children cope with disappointment, either large or small; children can snap their fingers and say, “Maybe next time” to help move through disappointed feelings. “Do it”: If you think something kind to do, do it! Eye contact: Looking in another’s eyes when listening and talking. Facial expression: When eyes, mouth, and face posture show an emotion. Fighting Body: A tight and tense body position. Fighting Face: A pinched, mean, and scary face. Fighting Voice: A loud and hurtful tone of voice that conveys aggressiveness. Friendly places: Places where people are friendly, inclusive, and kind to one another. Friendly Signals: Gestures and words that convey friendliness, such as eye contact, a head nod, smile, wave, pat on the back. Helping words: Positive words that resolve feelings and conflicts. Hurting words: Negative or loaded words that create upset feelings. “Name it”: State the obvious, for example: (1) describe exactly what you said and/or did that was not okay; (2) explain yourself (e.g., “I get bossy when I feel cranky”; “I feel excited, so I’m talking really fast”); or (3) share a unique quality about yourself (e.g., “I’m color-blind”; “I’m adopted”).

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“Not now” signal: A nonverbal strategy to communicate to children that they interrupted. Place pointer finger between your ear and the child; do not make eye contact; wait. “Ouch”: Said in a soft voice with hurt facial expression to let someone know in a gentle, shame-free way that they hurt your feelings. Positive self-talk: The talk used inside one’s head to encourage, to soothe, to motivate: “I think I can”; “I have done hard things before.” Raise the odds: A term used to help Kimochis® Kids understand that when they use effective communication tools, they have a better chance at positive social and emotional outcomes. Redo/Do-over: To begin again with one’s words and actions in a positive way. “Remember, we share”: A saying that helps children remember the importance of sharing with others. “Say it”: If you think of something nice to say, say it! Say what you see: Naming a person’s feelings that you observe as a way to help that person feel better (e.g., “You look sad. Can I help?”). Serious Face: Facial expression—wide eyes and raised eyebrows—that communicates that what you are saying is important; used when sending an “I mean it” message without looking mean. Serious Voice: Slow, stretched speech that communicates that your message is important; used when sending an “I mean it” message without sounding mean. Settle down: Make wide eyes and a calming gesture by holding hands palms down and moving them gently downward to nonverbally indicate, “Settle down.” Stop Hands: Holding hands up near face in a friendly way to nonverbally say, “Please stop.” “Take the time to be kind”: A saying that reminds children to never miss a chance to include and be kind to others. “Talk nicely”: Words a child can use to remind friends who are being bossy to talk in a friendlier way. Talking Body: An open and relaxed body that conveys respect and self-control. Talking Face: Relaxed eyes, brow, and mouth that convey respect and self-control. Talking Hand: Put one hand out palm up; use other hand to tap open palm; wait patiently for the person to return object; show thanks with eye contact when they do. Talking Voice: A calm tone of voice, slightly slowed down with appropriate volume, that conveys respect and self-control. Use your eyes and ears to be kind: Look and listen for signs that someone is feeling left out.

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APPENDIX D:

Keys to Communication for Early Childhood

GET SOMEONE’S ATTENTION

USE A TALKING VOICE

USE A TALKING FACE AND BODY

CHOOSE HELPING WORDS

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APPENDIX E: KIMOCHIS PARENT EDUCATION EVENT ®

Getting Started (what you will need) • You may want to break this Parent Education Event into 2-3 sessions. It is effective to hold these events or sessions on mornings or evenings that parents are already required to come to school such as Back-to-School Night. • We recommend giving parents the following handouts at the close of each event (just in case they can only attend one). • The Introduction to Kimochis® Homelinks: Building a School-to-Home Connection letter (see Appendix B, page 274). Tell parents that they will be getting a weekly Homelinks handout that will explain what their child learned that week. Activities to do at home are also included. • Glossary of Kimochis vocabulary (See Appendix C, page 275) • The Kimochis® Keys to Communication handout. In your meeting, you will be giving a simple explanation of each key. Explain that children will be learning the keys in Weeks 6–10 of the program.

Bringing Families Together TIME: 10 minutes MATERIALS: Post-it® notes, whiteboard SETUP: Write “Hopes and Dreams” on whiteboard 1. Welcome parents by name at your classroom door. 2. Give each parent a Post-it® note and ask them to write their hopes and dreams for their child for this school year. When they are done, ask them to append it to the whiteboard. 3. Allow parents time to walk around and connect with other parents. 4. Invite parents to take a seat. Thank them for joining you. Introduce yourself and share your hopes and dreams for their children: “This year, I hope that all your children will …” 5. Pull Post-it® notes from whiteboard and give to various parents to read aloud one another’s hopes and dreams. 6. Most likely, these will include statements like, “I hope my child will be happy, healthy, well adjusted.” This provides a perfect segue to start talking about social-emotional learning and the Kimochis® early childhood curriculum.

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Teach How Feelings Work TIME: 15 minutes MATERIALS: Two Bags. One with smiley face and one with sad face, basket with Happy, Loved, Proud, Excited, Silly, Sad, Mad, Left-Out, Scared, Disappointed SETUP: Put Feelings in basket 1. Explain that all parents want their child to feel happy (hold up Happy Feeling) when they send their child to school. 2. Share that during the day, things will happen that will take your child’s happy away and bring sad, mad, or left-out feelings. Give examples, such as someone will grab their shovel because they don’t know yet how to ask for objects. Put these negative feeling pillows in front of the Happy Feeling. 3. Acknowledge for parents, “No one jumps for joy and says, ‘Boy am I glad my son or daughter felt left out today.’ And yet, the research tells us that people who understand their feelings and have positive tools to manage upset feelings, actually do better in life. They are more resilient because they can move through upset feelings in healthier, quicker ways. This is what we want for your child. That is why this year we are using a program called Kimochis.” Have parents say “Kimochis” and let them know they just spoke Japanese. The word “Kimochi” means “feeling” in Japanese. 4. Explain, “Here is how feelings work. Our bodies like having some feelings (show smiley face bag) and do not like having others (show frown face bag).” 5. Toss the feeling pillows on the floor and invite parents to turn the feeling pillows word-side up. 6. Ask parents to sort the Feelings into the two bags. 7. Hold up both bags and say, “Inside this bag you put the feelings people generally like having, and inside this other bag are the feelings that most people do not like having.” 
Explain that the children will be taught that the feelings inside the negative bag are called upset feelings. We will be demonstrating and coaching the use of tools that can make things better when feeling upset. Pull a Feeling from the negative bag and give an example. “We will teach children that when you feel left out, you can move towards the other children, make friendly eye contact, and say something friendly like, ‘That looks fun. Can I play?’” 8. Ask the parents to point to the bag that holds the feelings they want their child to have in your classroom. Acknowledge that all or a majority will point to the positive feeling bag. After all, who would want their child to have upset feelings? 9. Invite various parents to pull out some of the feeling pillows from both the positive and negative bag.The teacher shares what can happen at school that could create each feeling.You want parents to begin to realize that it is a normal expectation for children to have upset feelings. This begins to plant the seed of why it is not best to deny or rescue a child from feeling upset. Letting them feel upset feelings, actually gives their child practice using tools that build character, resiliency and self-esteem. 10. Share with the parents that you will be helping their child learn to be aware of what they are feeling and learn communication tools that will become positive or helpful habits. These habits will help them be a good friend; have friends; and do their best in school. Ask for a show of hands or head nod of who wants this for their child.

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Setting the Stage: Creating a Safe Climate TIME: 5 minutes 1. Share with parents that that the most important thing Kimochis® teaches is to be kind. 2. Say, “Anyone can be kind when others are kind. The true test is how you respond or act when others forget to be kind. Really kind kids will do reallly unkind things. They are young. They are learning. This does not make them a bully or ‘mean girls,’ but rather a boy or girl who does not have the communcation tools YET to manage their upset feelings in kind ways. For example, at this age, when a child has a toy grabbed from them, most will grab it back. Some will go get another toy. Few know how to use eye contact, a calm voice, and kind words to ask for the toy back in a postive way.That is what Kimochis teaches.” 3. Make this important request of your parents: Ask that no one talk about other children’s behavior in your classroom to other parents, but rather if you are concerned, invite them to come to you. “Kids go through behavioral rough patches of pushing, grabbing, saying unkind words. Here at school with Kimochis, we have children re-do these hurtful moments in postive ways so they can immediately learn a better way to handle feelings and build postive self-esteem. With parents help in not talking about others’ behaviors, all parents will feel safe when their child is on either side of the fence. Most of your children will both have difficult things happen to them as well as do the wrong thing. Nobody wants to think that others are judging their parenting or child.” Invite your group of parents to make this kindness agreement: “Really kind kids can do really unkind things, and together, we can guide them one feeling and behavior at a time.”

Introduce the Kimochis Characters ®

TIME: 20 minutes MATERIALS: Kimochis® Characters SETUP: Tuck Feelings in each Character’s pouch (Cloud: Happy, Mad, Sad; Lovey Dove: Proud, Friendly, Kind; Huggtopus: Silly, Frustrated, Excited; Bug: Brave, Left Out, Shy; Cat: Cranky, Curious, Sorry) 1. Explain that each of us has a personality and temperament that influences the way we process and communicate. This is why, in the Kimochis® program, we have puppets or characters, so the children can see and feel themselves and others in these characters. This makes it a safe and fun way for people to consider what communication habits work well for them and what new communication habits would be helpful to learn and practice. 2. Show each Kimochis® Character, read their story or simply share a few things about their personality and temperament. Pull the Feelings from each Character’s pouch to show what emotions they teach. 3. After you introduce each Character, place that Character somewhere in your classroom. After introducing all Characters, they should be spread around the room (e.g., in each corner and on your desk). 4. Ask parents to walk to the Character they think their personality and temperament is the most like. Next, ask parents to stand by the Character most like their child. 5. Allow parents to share with one another the positives and the challenges of having a child with this personality and temperament. For example, “Being like Cat will make my child a strong leader, but she might get too bossy with her friends.” 6. Invite a few parents to share their thoughts with the larger group. 7. Ask parents to return to their original seats. 280

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The Kimochis Keys to Communication ®

TIME: 20 minutes MATERIALS: Kimochis® Keys to Communication handout (pages 92 and 277); Huggtopus SETUP: Make enough copies of the Kimochis® Keys to Communication handout for each parent. Explain that five communication tools called the Kimochis® Keys to Communication will be taught to guide positive behavior when children are upset. Point out that these keys are helpful for ALL people, not just our children.

Key 1: Get someone’s attention 1. Role-play: Pretend you are in line and make Huggtopus cut in line so you can demonstrate the Communication Tap tool. 2. Tap Huggtopus and call her name. 3. Wait for eye contact and say, “Huggs, I was here.” 4. Maintain eye contact and say, “Thanks” as Huggtopus goes behind you. 5. Offer parents the opportunity to take the Kimochis® Cell Phone Challenge (see page 34). If you incorporate this into your parent meeting you need to add 10 minutes. It is well worth it.

Key 2: Use a Talking Voice 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Ask parents to stand when they hear a Fighting Voice and sit when they hear a Talking Voice. Explain that when someone has an upset feeling, it is easy to yell or use a tone that prompts an altercation. Now introduce the Kimochis® concept of the Serious Voice as well, demonstrating it by slowing and stretching your speech. Have parents imitate you by giving the command “Move” in all three different voices. Have parents alternate among the voices. Ask them which one makes them feel most in control.

Key 3: Use a Talking Face and Body 1. 2. 3.

Show parents a Fighting, Talking, and Serious Face. Explain that when one feels upset, it is easy to use an aggressive facial expression and stance, which typically makes things worse. Have parents practice making a Talking, Fighting, and Serious Face and Body. Ask if the various expressions and postures make them feel different.

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Key 4: Choose helping words 1. 2. 3.

Show parents where you will keep the Kimochis® Bowl of Feelings in your classroom. Ask them to name feeling words they think their child already knows, adding that young children may have only the most basic emotional vocabulary, like “happy,” “sad,” “mad,” and “scared.” Hold up each feeling pillow as you explain that this is why the Kimochis® Tool Kit contains these common, fundamental Feelings. Share that during Kimochis® Lessons, their children will be increasing their emotional vocabulary to include such words as “frustrated,” “grateful,” “shy,” and “disappointed,” holding up these feeling pillows now too. Add that their child will learn positive communication scripts for predictable social moments, such as, “My turn” and “Can I play?”

Key 5: Redo hurtful moments 1. 2.

Explain that this key is central to the Kimochis® Way. Everyone is entitled to a Kimochis® Do-Over because everyone makes mistakes. If we yell, for example, we can stop and start again in a calmer voice. Share that their child will be learning that when we do not behave in a way we can feel proud of—because we yell, push, grab, and so forth—we can start over and communicate again in a way that is kind and respectful toward others. It’s like getting a second chance to make things right. We edit our writing. We can edit our communication!

Wrap-up: School-to-Home Connection TIME: 10 minutes MATERIALS: Week 1: Homelinks: Building a School-to-Home Connection letter (on page 274) 1. Give families the first Homelinks letter and Glossary of Kimochis Vocabulary. 2. Tell parents that each week, you will send home a letter that will inform them about the skills learned that week. Common vocabulary will be explained and defined so parents and caregivers can use the same words at home. In addition, there will be suggestions for fun ways to reinforce and extend the skills and concepts that were learned that week in school. 3. Invite parents to join you during Kimochis® time in your classroom so they can see the lessons in action. 4. Thank parents for coming. 5. Wrap up by returning to the “Hopes and Dreams” whiteboard, reading all the Post-it® notes again. Connect these wishes to the Kimochis® Lessons by reminding parents how the Kimochis® curriculum will help their children gain the communication skills and tools necessary to make these hopes and dreams a reality. 6. Ask parents to fill out the Kimochis® Communication Scale for Parents (Appendix J, page 291). Let them know that they will have the opportunity to fill it out again at the end of the school year in order to document outcomes.

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APPENDIX F: EXAMPLES OF SOCIAL NARRATIVES As discussed in the introductory sections of this guide, social narratives are a helpful tool to enhance the Kimochis® Lessons and should be individualized for each child. Use the social narratives below as examples, but be sure to personalize them for each child and to involve the child in the writing of the story! BEING FRIENDLY (WEEK 1) Lovey Dove taught me to be friendly and how to send Friendly Signals to people. I can smile, wave, give a high five, or just say, “Hi.” It makes people feel happy when I give them a Friendly Signal. It makes me feel happy too. I will try to send Friendly Signals to people. MY CALM-DOWN BREATH (WEEK 2) Sometimes I can get really mad. Then I might yell and say hurting words. When I do this, it hurts the feelings of other kids and my teacher. Cloud taught me to use a calm-down breath when I get mad. I can “smell a flower and blow out a candle” to make my mad feelings smaller. I will try to use my calm-down breath when I get mad. INTERRUPTING ADULTS (WEEK 3) Sometimes I really want to talk to my teacher Dad. I don’t always notice if he is busy. I might interrupt him, and he doesn’t like that. He will use the “Not now” signal, putting up a hand and not looking at me, to signal he is busy and can’t talk to me right now. I will try to walk away when I see the “Not now” signal, just like I practiced with Huggtopus. TRYING NEW THINGS (WEEK 4) Sometimes I have to try new things that are hard or scary. Bug taught me to be brave and try new things, just like when he learned to fly. My teacher and my parents like it when I try new things. Even though it might be hard, I will try to do new things. BEING BOSSY (WEEK 5) Lots of people get bossy. Sometimes I can get bossy too. When I am too bossy, kids don’t want to play with me. I might use a bossy voice, like Cat does. Then my teacher or the other kids might say, “[Name], talk nicely.” That is a way to remind me to not be so bossy. I will try to stop being so bossy when they say, “[Name], talk nicely.” GETTING SOMEONE’S ATTENTION (WEEK 6) When I want to get someone’s attention, I need to remember to call that person’s name. Then I need to wait until they look at me before I talk. If the person still doesn’t answer, I can do a gentle Communication Tap to get their attention. Some people don’t like it if I tap too many times. I will try to tap only three times, like Huggtopus taught me. After I get the person’s attention, then I can say what I want to say. www.kimochis.com

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MY TALKING VOICE (WEEK 7) Cat taught me how to use a Talking Voice. A Talking Voice is soft and kind. A Fighting Voice is loud and mean. My teacher and the other kids like it when I use my Talking Voice instead of my Fighting Voice. When I get mad or upset, I will try to use my Talking Voice. MY TALKING FACE AND BODY (WEEK 8) Cloud taught me how to use my Talking Face and Body. My Talking Face and Body look calm and relaxed. My Fighting Face and Body look mean. People like it when I use my Talking Face and Body. Sometimes when I get mad, I might forget and use my Fighting Face and Body. That can make my problem bigger. I will try to use my Talking Face and Body, so that my problem will get smaller, and I will feel better. MY TALKING HAND (WEEK 8) Sometimes kids grab things from me without asking. I can get mad when this happens, and I might want to grab back. Cloud taught me to use my Talking Hand to get the object back rather than yelling or grabbing back. My teacher and my parents will like it when I use my Talking Hand. USE MY HELPING WORDS (WEEK 9) Sometimes I get mad about things that happen at school. When I’m mad, I might use hurting words. My teacher and the other kids can get upset when I use these words. Bug taught us to cover our heart and say, “Ouch” when we hear hurting words. I will try to use helping words and say, “I’m sorry” when I use hurting words. SAYING SORRY (WEEK 10) Sometimes I say words that might hurt a person’s feelings. When I say hurting words, that person feels very sad. Lovey taught me that when I make a mistake and say hurting words, I can try to be brave and say, “I’m sorry.” I will try not to use those hurting words again. TAKE THE TIME TO BE KIND (WEEK 11) Lovey Dove helped us learn to take the time to be kind to others by saying nice things to them or doing nice things for them. It makes people feel so happy and loved when I do kind things. I can say something like, “That is a pretty picture you colored.” Or I can do something like help them with something that might be hard. I will try to take the time to be kind to everyone so we all feel happy. SHARING (WEEK 12) Sharing can be hard, especially when I have to share my favorite things. Sometimes I get really mad when I have to share with the other kids. Other people don’t like it when I keep everything to myself and don’t share. They might remind me to share by saying, “Remember, we share.” When I hear that, I will try to be kind and share.

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WAITING MY TURN (WEEK 13) Waiting for my turn can be really hard. Sometimes I get upset if I don’t get my turn right when I want it. Then my teacher and the other kids get upset. I can remember that I don’t always get to go first, like we practiced with Bug. I will try to remember to take turns so everyone will be happy. I GET SO EXCITED (WEEK 14) Sometimes when I am playing, I can get really excited. When that happens, I might get too rough and hurt someone by accident. That would make that kid feel sad and maybe even mad. The Kimochis® taught me to remember that fun has to be fun for everyone. I will try to watch kids’ faces and listen to their voices to find out if I am getting too rough and excited. Then I can try to calm down or maybe we could play something else. FRIENDLY FACES CREATE FRIENDLY PLACES (WEEK 15) Lovey Dove loves to be kind and friendly! She taught me how to include kids who might feel left out. She also reminded me to use my Friendly Signals. When I am kind and friendly, people feel so happy. I will try to use my Friendly Signals. CAN I PLAY TOO? (WEEK 16) Sometimes it might be hard for me to join games and play with other kids. Bug taught me how to get into a game by remembering to say a kid’s name and wait to talk until that kid is looking at me. I could also use my Communication Tap (three times) to get that person’s attention. Then I can ask, “Can I play too?” using my Talking Voice and Face. I will try to ask to play a game by remembering these steps. I CAN HELP KIDS WHO ARE LEFT OUT (WEEK 17) Sometimes kids leave out other kids when they play. When this happens, those kids can feel very sad and left out. I will try to remember to make room for everyone. When I see that someone is left out, I will use my Talking Voice and Face and say, “Do you want to play?” When we make room for everyone, then we all feel happy. IT’S OKAY TO BE MAD, BUT IT’S NOT OKAY TO BE MEAN (WEEK 18) Cloud taught me to remember that it is okay to be mad, but it is not okay to be mean. Sometimes when I get mad, I might say hurting and mean words to others that hurt their feelings. I will try to remember to use my calm-down breath or [another calming strategy child uses] when I feel mad so I won’t say and do mean things. WHEN I GET DISAPPOINTED (WEEK 19) Lots of people get disappointed when they can’t do what they want. Sometimes I get really disappointed because I can’t [list several things child becomes disappointed over], and I might get mad and [describe child’s behavior]. Other people don’t really like it when I get so mad. Cloud taught me to use the Disappointed Snap tool and to say, “Maybe next time” when I get disappointed. I will try to use my special Disappointed Snap and helpful words the next time I get disappointed.

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BEING BRAVE WHEN I AM A BEGINNER (WEEK 20) Everybody learns new things. That is called being a “beginner.” When I am a beginner at something, I might feel mad or frustrated because it might be hard. Other people get mad or frustrated too when something is hard. They might use their positive self-talk words. I will try to use my positive self-talk to remind myself to be brave. SILLY AND SERIOUS (WEEK 21) It’s fun to be silly, but sometimes I need to be serious. Huggtopus taught me that there are times to be silly and times to be serious at school, at home, and in lots of other places. My teacher, my family, and others will like it if I can control my body and words to be serious during “serious times.” When kids or my teacher asks me to “Settle down,” I will try to control my body and words. BOUNCE BACK (WEEK 22) Everybody gets frustrated sometimes. Huggtopus taught me to “bounce back” when I get frustrated. That means that I can keep trying or ask someone for help. Sometimes I can get really frustrated when [add the child’s area of difficulty]. I think it’s too hard and I don’t want to do it. Sometimes I can get really mad, and I might [describe behavior]. My teacher and other kids don’t really like it when I [describe behavior]. I will try to take my breaths and use my words when I get frustrated. SAD FEELINGS COME AND GO (WEEK 23) Everyone feels sad at times. Sometimes I get sad feelings. Cloud taught me that I can do some things to make my sad feelings smaller. I will try to say how I feel. I can say, “I feel sad.” I will also try to ask someone for what can make my sad feelings smaller. I can say, “I need a hug” or “I want some help.” BE SAFE AND KIND WHEN CURIOUS (WEEK 24) Sometimes I get so excited about [favorite topic] that I can talk and talk about it. Then I don’t listen to what other people say or I don’t ask them about their favorite thing. This can make the other kids frustrated, and sometimes they don’t want to talk to me. I will try to remember to ask my classmates what they like or what they are excited about. When they answer, I will listen and make a comment like, “That’s really interesting.” PROUD OF ME AND PROUD OF YOU (WEEK 25) Everyone has reasons they can feel good inside or proud of themselves. When someone says something nice to me, I will try to be polite and kind and say, “Thank you.” I will also try to remember to say nice things to other kids and adults, like, “You are good at that.” Other kids, my teacher, and my family members will like it if I say nice things to them and thank them for nice things.

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APPENDIX G: TEMPLATES Brave Badge Instructions (activity page 212) MATERIALS: Brave Badge Template, foil, cardboard, crayons, fastener • Copy template and cut along dashed outline. Help younger children with cutting. • Place cutout template on top of aluminum foil. For each Brave Badge, cut a piece of aluminum foil to match the size of the dashed line rectangle. Set foil aside. Help younger children with cutting. • Cut template along thick black outline removing dashed outline section.This is why it’s important to cut the foil first! Help younger children with cutting. • Have children color Brave Badge. • Cut thin cardboard or poster board to same size as thick black outline. Glue colored template to cardboard. • Place colored, glued template on top of pre-cut foil. Fold and glue foil over the edges of colored template to add shine to the Brave Badge! • Adhere a clip or pin to the back of the badge so children can wear it proudly.

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Happy Template (activity page 124)

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APPENDIX H: KIMOCHIS EDUCATOR’S TOOL KIT CHECKLIST FOR EDUCATORS/PROFESSIONALS ®

Teacher:

Grade:

Date:

How frequently do your students engage in these behaviors? 1 = Almost never 2 = Once in a while 3 = Occasionally 4 = Usually 5 = Almost always 1 2 3 4 5 Demonstrate Self-Awareness & Self-Management Skills Students use feeling vocabulary beyond “happy,” “mad,” “sad” Students use a calm tone of voice and facial expression in emotional situations Students use words that help rather than hurt in conflict situations Students understand when and how to redo hurtful moments with adult help Students use nonverbal strategies to avoid conflict (i.e., put hands up to say “stop”) Students use a calming strategy when experiencing upset emotions Students stick with challenges with minimal adult help Students know how to calm self when too silly or excited Students can get themselves included in play and/or conversation Demonstrate Social Awareness & Age-Appropriate Relationship Skills Students use person’s name and appropriate greeting based on social context Students understand others’ feeling based on facial expression/body language Students try to work out problems with others before getting adult help Students include classmates in play, games, and/or conversation Students demonstrate positive expressions of pride in self and others Teacher Observations How frequently does my instruction time go smoothly due to cooperation and other positive student behaviors? How frequently do my students work as a cooperative, caring community? How frequently do my students return to class ready to learn? Additional comments or observations:

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APPENDIX I: KIMOCHIS CLASSROOM CLIMATE SURVEY * ®

Based on your perceptions, please respond to the statements below according to the following scale : *NOTE: To be completed at the end of the Kimochis® curriculum. 1 = Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Neither Agree or Disagree 4 = Agree 5 = Strongly Agree SCORE 1. Kimochis® has facilitated social-emotional learning in my classroom 2. Kimochis® has helped create an environment conducive to learning 3. Kimochis® has helped my students understand their emotions 4. Kimochis® has helped my students develop positive relationships 5. Kimochis® has helped my students manage conflicts 6. Kimochis® has helped my students with their friendships in the classroom Additional observations:

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APPENDIX J: KIMOCHIS COMMUNICATION SCALE FOR PARENTS ®

Teacher:

Grade:

Date:

How frequently does your child engage in these behaviors? 1 = Almost never 2 = Once in a while 3 = Occasionally 4 = Usually 5 = Almost always 1 2 3 4 5 Demonstrate Self-Awareness & Self-Management Skills

Child uses feeling vocabulary beyond “happy,” “mad,” “sad” Child uses a calm tone of voice and facial expression in emotional situations Child uses words that help rather than hurt in conflict situations Child can make an apology and/or redo hurtful moments Child uses a calming strategy when experiencing upset emotions

Child sticks with challenges when frustrated or upset Child knows how to calm self when too silly or excited Child can get himself/herself included in play and/or conversation Demonstrate Social Awareness & Age-Appropriate Relationship Skills Child uses person’s name and appropriate greeting based on social context Child understands others’ feeling based on facial expression/body language Child tries to work out problems with positive communication rather than using upsetting behavior Child includes peers in play, games, and/or conversation Child demonstrates positive expressions of pride in self and others Parent Observations How frequently does my child use a negative behavior when feeling upset? How frequently do I worry about taking my child places for fear of negative behavior? How frequently does my child talk to me about his/her positive and negative feelings? How frequently do I notice that my child is enjoying his/her school experience? Additional comments or observations:

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APPENDIX K: REFERENCES Adams, D. M., and M. Hamm. 1994. New Designs for Teaching and Learning: Promoting Active Learning in Tomorrow’s Schools. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Anders, S. 2006. Understanding Emotions. Amsterdam: Oxford: Elsevier. Bandura, A. 1989. “Human Agency in Social Cognitive Theory.” American Psychologist 44: 1175–1184. Barnett, W. S. 2008. “Preschool Education and Its Lasting Effects: Research and Policy Implications.” Boulder and Tempe: Education and the Public Interest Center & Education Policy Research Unit. Accessed May 2, 2012. http://nepc.colorado.edu/publication/preschool-education Bar-On, R., and J. Parke. 2000. The Handbook of Emotional Intelligence. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Berger, K. S. 2003.The Developing Person: Through Childhood. 3rd ed. New York: Worth Publishers. Berk, L. A. 2002. Infants and Children: Prenatal Through Middle Childhood. 4th ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon. Biddulph, S. 2008. Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different—and How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men. New York: Celestial Arts. Bloom, L. 2000. “The Intentionality Model of Word Learning: How to Learn a Word, Any Word.” Becoming a Word Learner: A Debate on Lexical Acquisition, edited by R. G. Hollich, pp. 19–50. New York: Oxford University Press. Brooks, R., and S. Goldstein. 2001. Raising Resilient Children: Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child. New York: McGraw-Hill. Brown, J. R., and J. Dunn. 1996. “Continuities in Emotion Understanding from Three to Six Years.” Child Development 67: 789–802. Bruce, C. 2010. Emotional Literacy in the Early Years. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications. Buchanan, K. E., and A. Bardi. 2010. “Acts of Kindness and Acts of Novelty Affect Life Satisfaction.” Journal of Social Psychology 150(3). Carlson, F. 2006. “Rough and Tumble Play 101.” Exchange. http://www.smith.edu/forthill/documents/CarlsonCombined.pdf

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Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning. 2008. Handout 1.2: “Definition of Social Emotional Development.” CSEFEL Infant-Toddler Module 1. Accessed September 6, 2011. http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/inftodd/mod1/1.2.pdf Child Mental Health Foundations and Agencies Network. 2000. A Good Beginning: Sending America’s Children to School with the Social and Emotional Competence They Need to Succeed. Bethesda, MD: National Institute of Mental Health. Cohen, J., N. Onunaku, S. Clothier, and J. Poppe. 2005. Helping Young Children Succeed: Strategies to Promote Early Childhood Social and Emotional Development. Research and Policy Report. Washington, DC: National Conference of State Legislatures. Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL). 2003. “Safe and Sound: An Educational Leader’s Guide to Evidence-Based SEL Programs.” Accessed May 2, 2011 http://sparkpolicy.com/buildingbridges/documents/GuidetoSELPrograms.pdf Crary, E. 2003. Dealing with Disappointment: Helping Kids Cope When Things Don’t Go Their Way. Seattle: Parenting Press. Crick, N. R., and K. A. Dodge. 1994. “A Review and Reformulation of Social Information Processing Mechanisms in Children’s Social Adjustment.” Psychological Bulletin 115: 74–101. Denham, S. A. 1986. “Social Cognition, Prosocial Behavior and Emotions in Preschoolers: Contextual Validation.” Child Development 57: 194–201. Denham, S. A. 1998. Emotional Development in Young Children. New York: Guilford Press. Denham, S. A. 2006. “The Emotional Basis of Learning and Development in Early Childhood Education.” In Handbook of Research on the Education of Young Children, edited by O. N. Saracho and B. Spodek. 2nd ed. New York: Routledge. Denham, S. A., and M. C. Almeida. 1987. “Children’s Social Problem-Solving Skills, Behavioral Adjustment, and Interventions: A Meta-Analysis Evaluating Theory and Practice.” Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology 8: 391–409. Denham, S. A., K. A. Blair, E. DeMulder, J. Levitas, K. Sawyer, S. Auerbach Major, and P. Queenan. 2003. “Preschool Emotional Competence: Pathway to Social Competence?” Child Development 74: 238–256. Denham, S, A., and C. Brown. 2010. “Plays Nice with Others: Social–Emotional Learning and Academic Success.” Early Education & Development 21(5): 652. Denham, S. A., M. McKinley, E. A. Couchoud, and R. Holt. 1990. “Emotional and Behavioral Predictors of Preschool Peer Ratings.” Child Development 61(4): 1145–1152. www.kimochis.com

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Denham, S. A., and R. P. Weissberg. 2004. “Social-Emotional Learning in Early Childhood: What We Know and Where to Go from Here.” In A Blueprint for the Promotion of Prosocial Skills, edited by E. Chesebrough, P. King, T. P. Gullotta, and M. Bloom. New York: Kluwer Academic Publishers. Denham, S. A., K. Zinsser, and C. S. Bailey. 2011. “Emotional Intelligence in the First Five Years of Life.” In Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development, edited by R. E. Tremblay, M. Boivin, and R. DeV. Peters. Montreal, Quebec: Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development and Strategic Knowledge Cluster on Early Child Development: 1–7. Accessed January 5, 2012. http://www.child-encyclopedia. com/documents/Denham-Zinsser-BaileyANGxp1.pdf Dettling, A. C., M. R. Gunnar, and B. Donzella. 1999. “Cortisol Levels of Young Children in Full-Day Childcare Centers: Relations with Age and Temperament.” Psychoneuroendocrinology 24: 519–536. Dishion, T. J., D. C. French, and G. R. Patterson. 1995. “The Development and Ecology of Antisocial Behavior.” In Developmental Psychopathology, Volume 2: Risk, Disorder, and Adaptation, edited by D. Cicchetti and D. J. Cohen. New York: John Wiley & Sons. Dowsett, C., and A. Huston. 2005. “The Role of Social-Emotional Behavior in School Readiness.” In Hard Skills and Socioemotional Behavior at School Entry: What Matters Most for Subsequent Achievement? Symposium presented to the biennial meeting of the Society for Research in Child Development, G. Duncan, chair, Atlanta, Georgia. Dunlap, G., and L. Fox. 2009. “Positive Behavior Support and Early Intervention.” In Handbook of Positive Behavior Support, edited by W. Sailor, G. Dunlap, G. Sugai, and R. Horner. New York: Springer. Dunn, J., and S. McGuire. 1992. “Sibling and Peer Relationship in Childhood.” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry and Allied Disciplines 33: 67–105. Durlak, J. A., R. P. Weissberg, A. B. Dymnicki, R. B. Taylor, and K. B. Schellinger. 2011. “The Impact of Enhancing Students’ Social and Emotional Learning: A Meta-Analysis of School-Based Universal Interventions.” Child Development 82: 405–532. Education Commission of the States. 2006. “Quick Facts: What Research Shows About the Brain.” Accessed April 19, 2006. http://ecs.org/html/IssueSection.asp?issueid=17&s=Quick+Facts. Eisenberg, N., R. A. Fabes, and S. Losoya. 1997. “Emotional Responding: Regulation, Social Correlates, and Socialization.” In Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence: Educational Implications, edited by P. Salovey and D. J. Slutyer. New York: Basic Books. Eisenberg, N., J. K. Guthrie, B. C. Murphy, S. A. Shepard, A. Cumberland, and G. Carlo. 1999. “Consistency and Development of Prosocial Dispositions: A Longitudinal Study.” Child Development 70: 1360–1372.

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Elias, M. J. 2004. “Strategies to Infuse Social and Emotional Learning into Academics.” In Building Academic Success on Social and Emotional Learning: What Does the Research Say? edited by J. E. Zins, R. P. Weissberg, M. C. Wang, and H. J. Walberg. New York: Teachers College Press. Elias, M. J., and J. F. Clabby. 1988. “Teaching Social Decision Making.” Educational Leadership 45(6): 52–55. Elias, M. J., M. Gara,T. Schuyer, L. Branden-Muller, and M. Sayette. 1991.“The Promotion of Social Competence: Longitudinal Study of a Preventive School Based Program.” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 61: 409–417. Elias, M. J., J. E. Zins, R. P. Weissberg, K. S. Frey, M. T. Greenberg, N. M. Haynes, R. Kessler, M. E. Schwab-Stone, and T. P. Shriver. 1997. Promoting Social and Emotional Learning: Guidelines for Educators. Alexandria, VA: Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development. Elliot, S. N., and F. M. Gresham. 1993. “Social Skills Interventions for Children.” Behavior Modification 17(3): 287–313. Epstein, A. 2009. Me, You, Us: Social-Emotional Learning in Preschool. Ypsilanti, MI: High Scope. Feldman, R. S., G. McGee, L. Mann, and P. S. Strain. 1993. “Nonverbal Affective Decoding Ability in Children with Autism and in Typical Preschoolers.” Journal of Early Intervention 17(4): 341–350. Fenson, L., P. S. Dale, J. S. Reznick, E. Bates, D. J. Thal, and S. J. Pethick. 1994. “Variability in Early Communicative Development.” Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development 59 (serial no. 242). Fitzgerald, P. White, K. 2003. Linking children’s social worlds: Perspective taking in parent-child and peer contexts. Social Behavior and Personality: An International. 31, (5): 509-522. Florez, I. R. 2011. “Developing Young Children’s Self-Regulation through Everyday Experiences.” National Association for the Education of Young Children, Young Children Journal, July 2011. Fox, L. 2003. “Positive Behavioral Support: An Individualized Approach for Addressing Challenging Behavior.” Nashville, TN: Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning. Accessed July 2014. http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/kits/wwbtk10.pdf Fox, L., J. Carta, P. Strain, G. Dunlap, and M. L. Hemmeter. 2009. “Response to Intervention and the Pyramid Model.” Tampa, FL: University of South Florida, Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention for Young Children. Accessed April 5, 2012. www.challengingbehavior.org. Fox, L., G. Dunlap, M. L. Hemmeter, G. Joseph, and P. Strain. 2003. “The Teaching Pyramid: A Model for Supporting Social Competence and Preventing Challenging Behavior in Young Children.” Young Children 58(4): 48–52.

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Fox, L., . Little, N. 2001. “Starting Early: School-wide Behavior Support in a Community Preschool.” Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions 3: 251–254. Fraizer, B. 2009. “Preschoolers’ Search for Explanatory Information Within Adult-Child Conversation.” Child Development 80(6): 1592–1611. Freedman, J. 2003. “Key Lessons from 35 Years of Social-Emotional Education: How Self-Science Builds Self-Awareness, Positive Relationships, and Healthy Decision-Making.” Perspectives in Education 21(4): 69–80. Friedman, D. 2005. “Interaction and the Architecture of the Brain.” Accessed April 19, 2006. http://www.developingchild.net/papers/020705_interactions_article.pdf Galinsky, E. 2010. “Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs.” New York: HarperCollins. Goleman, D. 1995. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York: Bantam Books. Goode, T. D. 2004. “Promoting Cultural Competence and Cultural Diversity in Early Intervention and Early Childhood Settings.” Georgetown University Center for Child and Human Development, University Center for Excellence in Developmental Disabilities Education, Research and Service. Accessed November 19, 2011. http://nccc.georgetown.edu/documents/ChecklistCSHN.pdf Greenberg, M. T., R. P. Weissberg, M. U. O’Brien, J. E. Zins, L. Fredericks, H. Resnik, and M. J. Elias. 2003. “Enhancing School-Based Prevention and Youth Development Through Coordinated Social and Emotional Learning.” American Psychologist 58: 466–474. Grossman, J. B., A. Klin, A. S. Carter, and F. R. Volkmar. 2002. Verbal Bias in Recognition of Facial Emotions in Children with Asperger’s Syndrome.” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 41: 369–379. Halberstadt, A. G., and F. T. Lozada. 2011. “Culture and Emotions in the First 5 to 6 Years of Life.” Lewis M, topic ed. In: Tremblay RE, Boivin M, Peters RDeV, eds. Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development [online]. Montreal, Quebec: Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development and Strategic Knowledge Cluster on Early Child Development; 2011:1-6. Accesed July 9, 2014. http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/documents/halberstadt-lozadaangxp1.pdf Hall, J. A., and D. Matsumoto. 2004. “Gender Differences in Judgments of Multiple Emotions from Facial Expressions.” Emotion 4(2): 201–206. Hartup, W. W., and S. G. Moore. 1990. “Early Peer Relations: Developmental Significance and Prognostic Implications.” Early Childhood Research Quarterly 5(1): 1–18.

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Herba, C., and M. Phillips. 2004. “Development of Facial Expression Recognition from Childhood to Adolescence: Behavioral and Neurological Perspectives.” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 45(7): 1185–1195. Herrey, E. A., L. M. Capps, D. Keltner, and A. M. Kring. 2005. “Understanding Teasing: Lessons from Children with Autism.” Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 33: 55. Hinde, R. A., A. Tamplin, and J. Barrett. 1993. “Gender Differences in the Correlates of Preschoolers Behavior.” Sex Roles: A Journal of Research 28: 9–10. Hoffner, C., and D. M. Badzinski. 1989. “Children’s Integration of Facial and Situational Cues to Emotion.” Child Development 60: 411–422. Howes, C. 1987. “Social Competence with Peers in Young Children: Developmental Sequences.” Developmental Review 7: 252–272. Howes, C. 1988. “Peer Interaction of Young Children.” Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development 53 (serial no. 217). Hubbard, J. A., & Coie, J. D.1994. “Emotional correlates of social competence in children’s peer relationships.” Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 40, 1–20. Huffman, L. C., S. L. Mehlinger, and A. S. Kerivan. 2000. Risk Factors for Academic and Behavioral Problems at the Beginning of School. Bethesda, MD: National Institute of Mental Health. Izard, C. E. 2002. “Translating Emotion Theory and Research into Preventative Interventions.” Psychological Bulletin 128: 796–824. Izard, C. E., S. Fine, D. Schultz, A. Mostow, B. Ackerman, and E. Youngstrom. 2001. “Emotion Knowledge as a Predictor of Social Behavior and Academic Competence in Children at Risk.” Psychological Science 12: 18–23. Joseph, G. E., and P. S. Strain. 2003a. “Comprehensive Evidence-Based Social-Emotional Curricula for Young Children: An Analysis of Efficacious Adoption Potential.” Topics in Early Childhood Special Education 23: 65–76. Joseph, G. E., and P. S. Strain. 2003b.“Helping Young Children Control Anger and Handle Disappointment.” Young Exceptional Children 7(1): 21–29. Joseph, G. E., and P. S. Strain. 2010. Enhancing Emotional Vocabulary in Your Children. Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning, Vanderbilt University, Handout 2.6: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies. Accessed February 11, 2012. http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/modules/ module2/handout6.pdf www.kimochis.com

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APPENDIX L: BEHAVIORS AT A GLANCE Promoting Positive Communication Habits for Academic and Social Success Developing Foundational Communication Skills Tools For…

Understanding and managing tone of voice

Understanding and managing body language

Communicating respectfully

Encouraging friendliness (continued on next page)

Lesson WEEK 7-Lesson 1: Talking Voice vs. Fighting Voice WEEK 7-Lesson 2: Pass the Kimochis®

Lesson Objective Children will identify the difference between a Talking Voice and a Fighting Voice. Children will use a Talking Voice when requested in practice situations.

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WEEK 7-Extension Activity 1: My Talking Voice, My Fighting Voice

Children will recognize why to use a Talking Voice with peers and adults.

WEEK 6-Lesson 1: Use Names and Eye Contact WEEK 6-Extension Activity 2: Pass the Feelings WEEK 7-Extension Activity 2: The Feeling Train

Children will call a person’s name and wait for eye contact before speaking. Children will make a face and sound that depict a feeling. Children will match facial expressions and body language to emotions.

WEEK 8-Lesson 1: Read Body Language

Children will recognize different feelings by noticing facial expressions and body language.

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WEEK 8-Extension Activity 1: Book Appreciation

Children will extend learning by engaging with age appropriate books about feelings and body language.

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WEEK 18-Lesson 2: Help Cloud Use a Serious Face and Voice

Children will demonstrate how to use a Serious Face and Voice to express mad feelings in a positive, helpful way.

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WEEK 24-Extension Activity 3: Show Us What to Feel WEEK 6-Lesson 2: The Communication Tap WEEK 6-Extension Activity 3: Tap, Tap, Tap WEEK 7-Extension Activity 3: I’m a Kimochis® Kid WEEK 1-Lesson 3: Lovey Dove Is Friendly!

Children will make facial expressions and use body language to match an emotion. Children will use a Communication Tap to get someone’s attention. Children will identify peers only by listening to their voices.

104 105 108 96 100 108

244 97 100

Children will identify emotions in peers.

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Children will use Friendly Signals, when appropriate, in social situations.

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WEEK 1-Extension Activity 2: The Friendly Signals Ripple Game

Children will use Friendly Signals with peers in a game.

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WEEK 1-Extension Activity 3: Make a Friendly Nest for Lovey Dove

Children will practice friendly signals while playing a cooperative game.

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Developing Foundational Communication Skills Tools For…

Lesson WEEK 11-Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Take the Time To Be Kind WEEK 15-Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Friendly Faces Create Friendly Places

Encouraging friendliness (continued from previous page)

Appreciating and expressing likes, strengths and abilities

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Lesson Objective Children will demonstrate how to use the kind kotowaza to encourage kind, caring behavior.

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Children will use the Friendly Kotowaza as a tool to demonstrate polite, respectful, and inclusive interactions.

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Children will recognize times to be friendly.

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Children will participate in a group activity in a cooperative and friendly way.

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WEEK 15-Extension Activity 1: Book Appreciation

Children will extend their learning by engaging with age appropriate books about being friendly.

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WEEK 15-Extension Activity 2: You’re Invited to a “Friendly Fest”

Children will demonstrate skills to enter into social groups.

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WEEK 15-Extension Activity 3: Friendly Paper Chain

Children will convey feelings and experiences through verbal communication.

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WEEK 1-Lesson 2: Lovey’s Proud and Kind Feelings

Children will identify proud and kind feelings and describe situations that create those feelings.

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WEEK 6-Extension Activity 1: Which Kimochis® Character Do I Like?

Children will become familiar with print concepts and decide their own likes.

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WEEK 17-Extension Activity 1: Book Appreciation

Children will demonstrate an understanding and appreciation of storybooks about liking themselves.

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WEEK 25-Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Proud of Me … Proud of You

Children will demonstrate how to use the Proud Kotowaza to express and share pride in self and others.

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WEEK 25-Extension Activity 3: My Proud Picture!

Children will decorate a proud picture using artistic expression.

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WEEK 15-Lesson 2: Let’s Be Friendly! WEEK 15-Lesson 3: The Lovey Dove Challenge

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Understanding, Managing and Expressing Feelings Tools For… How feelings work

Lesson WEEK 1-Introduction to the Kimochis® WEEK 9-Extension Activity 3: Happy Heart WEEK 11-Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Take the Time to Be Kind WEEK 12-Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Have a Happy Heart!

Creating awareness and expressing positive feelings and behaviors

WEEK 12-Extesion Activity 3: Fill Up Your Heart WEEK 13-Extension Activity 2: Make a Happy Poster! WEEK 14-Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Fun Has to Be Fun for Everyone WEEK 14-Extension Activity 3: Bubbles Are So Exciting! WEEK 15-Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Friendly Faces Create Friendly Places WEEK 15-Extension Activity 3: Friendly Paper Chain WEEK 25-Lesson 1: Kotowaza: Proud of Me … Proud of You

Understanding and managing mad feelings

WEEK 2-Lesson 3: Cloud Calms Downs Mad Feelings WEEK 2-Extension Activity 2: Book Appreciation WEEK 18-Extension Activity 1: Book Appreciation WEEK 2-Extension Activity 3: Mad Animals WEEK 2-Meet Cloud Homelink

Lesson Objective Children will demonstrate an understanding that “tools” can help communication. Children will recognize and name their feelings. Children will demonstrate how to use the Kind Kotowaza to encourage kind, caring behavior. Children will demonstrate how to use the Happy Kotowaza as a tool to be resilient and compassionate amidst unhappy feelings. Children will practice how to remind others to play kindly when they forget. Children will use fine motor skills to make a poster showing their happy feelings. Children will demonstrate how to use the Excited Kotowaza to calm down and calm others. Children will express their emotions through creative movement. Children will use the Friendly Kotowaza as a tool to demonstrate polite, respectful, and inclusive interactions. Children will convey feelings and experiences through verbal communication. Children will demonstrate how to use the Proud Kotowaza to express and share pride in self and others. Children will use a calm-down strategy when feeling mad. Children will extend learning by engaging with age appropriate books about anger. Children will participate in pretend play (to be mad animals). Family Fun-Playful Ways to Practice Marching Madness.

WEEK 18-Lesson 1: Kotowaza: It’s Okay to Be Mad, But It’s Not Okay to Be Mean

Children will use the Mad Kotowaza as a tool to manage feelings of anger.

WEEK 18-Lesson 2: Help Cloud Use a Serious Face and Voice WEEK 18-Lesson 3: Plan for Mad Moments WEEK 18-Extension Activity 2: Mad-o-Meter WEEK 18-Extension Activity 3: Shake It Off!

Children will use a Serious Face and Voice to express mad feelings in a positive, helpful way. To negotiate conflict using words before seeking help. Children will understand that there are different levels of “mad.” Children will use expressive drama skills to imitate mad animals. www.kimochis.com

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Kimochis for Early Childhood Curriculum Excerpts  

Excerpts from the Kimochis Feel Guide: Early Childhood Edition curriculum for ages 3-6.

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