Page 1

Feel Guide S ’ R E H C A TE ITION ED ood e h d l Chi th grad y l Ear ugh 5 o thr

written by Ellen Pritchard Dodge, M.Ed., CCC-SLP, Charlotte Rice, Early Childhood Education Specialist, and Diann Grimm, M.A., CCC-SLP, Ed.S.


R ep ro du ce

N ot

Dedicated to Nina Rappaport-Rowan, whose gigantic heart drives her to help children, teachers, parents … all of us! Thank you, Nina, for using your creativity to help others in such profound ways.

Ex ce rp t

D o

All text, illustrations, and photographs copyright © 2010 Plushy Feely Corp. All rights reserved. Published by Plushy Feely Corp. This book may not be reproduced in whole or part without the publisher’s written permission. The reproducibles in this volume may be reproduced for use with individual students. These pages, however, may not be reproduced for general distribution to an entire school, school district, clinic, or group of professionals. Design by: Susan Schroeder and Erika Kopman Edited by: Laurie Whiskeyman and Susan Schroeder Copyediting and Proofreading by: Cindy Nixon, Bookmarker Editorial Services Photographs by: Nina Rappaport-Rowan, ND Koster, and Julian Kwasneski Illustrations by: Hanako Wakiyama, Daniel Root, Sergio Pablos, and Santiago Piles

Plushy Feely Corp. 11 San Rafael Avenue, San Anselmo, CA 94960 415.454.4600 • kimochime@kimochis.com www.kimochis.com


Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


R ep ro du ce

Kimochi (KEY•MO•CHEE) Means “Feeling” in Japanese And Kimochis™ are what comes inside each character! Kimochis™ are small pillows with a feeling (e.g., happy, sad, silly, brave) printed on one side and a corresponding facial expression on

N ot

the other. Each Kimochis™ character has a special pocket where students can store their “Kimochis™”—or feelings. Adding Kimochis™ and Feeling Lessons to the school day will give

D o

you and your students a focused, safe time to learn to identify and express feelings, work

Ex ce rp t

through conflicts, and build the foundations for social and emotional intelligence.


T N E

RE

I

R ep ro du ce

LE

Ex ce rp t

SIB

S I L www.kimochis.com

N

vi

ES P O

D o

N ot

R

BE a Kimochis Kid

UL

COM

TF

PA S

PE C

S

IO

RES

TE A N


Kimochis Build Character and Confidence R ep ro du ce

With fun activities to practice tone of voice, body language, and appropriate words to use during emotional moments, students will learn techniques for managing life’s challenging moments with

N ot

character and confidence. Imagine a world where every child has the opportunity to learn and practice positive communication habits. When students can communicate their feelings effectively,

D o

they build confidence, self-esteem, and strong relationships.

Kimochis ™ and the Feeling Lessons are a fun and easy way to bring social-emotional learning

Ex ce rp t

and character education into your classroom. Kimochis ™ will help you create an optimistic, caring environment in which your students feel connected, included, and valued—a place where significant learning can occur and everyone can communicate the Kimochis ™ Way.

www.kimochis.com

vii


Contents Included in excerpt. Click title and jump to page.

Feelings Can Be Messy … Kimochis Can Help

1

Social-Emotional Learning. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 The Kimochis™ Way .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Getting Started .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 ™

Introductory Lesson . . . Kimochis™ Cloud .. . . . . Kimochis™ Bug .. . . . . . . Kimochis™ Huggtopus .. . Kimochis™ Cat .. . . . . . . Kimochis™ Lovey Dove ..

11 . . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

The Keys to Communication

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

13 14 16 18 20 22

R ep ro du ce

Meet the Kimochis

25

Creating a Kimochis Classroom

45

N ot

55

D o

Students with Special Needs

Students with Social-Emotional Challenges .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 Strategies and Enhancements for Students with Social-Emotional Challenges . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

Ex ce rp t

The Feeling Lessons for Early Childhood

Teaching the Feeling Lessons for Early Childhood . . Happy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mad .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brave .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Left Out .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Silly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Frustrated . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Curious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cranky .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hopeful .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Proud . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

65 . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . .

The Feeling Lessons for Elementary-Age Students Teaching the Feeling Lessons for Elementary School . . Happy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mad .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . . . . . .

67 72 76 80 84 88 92 96 100 104 108 112

117 . . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

119 124 132 140


Brave .. . . . Left Out .. . Silly . . . . . . Frustrated . Curious . . . Cranky .. . . Hopeful .. . Proud . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

More Feelings

227 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

D o

Practice the Kimochis Way

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

Ex ce rp t

Making Kimochis™ Videos . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Creating Follow-up Lessons for Class Meetings .. Kimochis™ in the Heat of the Moment . . . . . . . . Troubleshooting the Feeling Lessons . . . . . . . . . Keeping Recess Positive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis™ for Principal .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis™ Sleepover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The End Is Just the Beginning . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

239 . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

Appendix Coaching the Keys to Communication Within the Feeling Lessons .. Literature for Teaching Emotions .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis™ Games for Early Childhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Reproducibles: Kimochis™ Elementary Lesson Plan .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Social-Emotional Behavior Scale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Letter to Families . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimochis™ Note & Kimochis™ HELP! Note Templates . . . . . . . . . References .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . About the Authors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Behaviors at a Glance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

229 229 230 230 231 231 232 232 233 234 234 235 236 237 238

R ep ro du ce

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

N ot

Friendly . . . . . . . Sorry .. . . . . . . . Embarrassed .. . . Sleepy . . . . . . . . Surprised .. . . . . Grateful .. . . . . . Scared .. . . . . . . Hurt . . . . . . . . . Excited .. . . . . . . Kind .. . . . . . . . . Guilty .. . . . . . . . Uncomfortable .. Jealous .. . . . . . . Shy . . . . . . . . . . Loved . . . . . . . .

148 160 174 184 194 202 210 218

241 245 247 248 251 252 255 257

259 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 261 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 265 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 271 . . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

272 273 274 275 276 279 280


viii

www.kimochis.com

Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


Social-Emotional Learning

R ep ro du ce

D o

N ot

Emotional Intelligence Dr. Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book Emotional Intelligence helped the world become aware that the emotion quotient (EQ) can actually be more important than the intelligence quotient (IQ). Emotional intelligence (or what we like to call “Ki-motional intelligence”!) is the ability to manage emotions in a healthy and productive manner. Knowledge is important but if you don’t have an effective way to communicate your knowledge, you can’t work well with people, you can’t manage upsetting emotions, and you will have more difficulties in life. We all know people who are academically brilliant and yet socially and interpersonally inept. EQ matters!

Ex ce rp t

Sadly, schools have moved away from focusing on these hopes and dreams. Teachers are pressured to focus more on academics and testing because schools are now being evaluated and funded based on test scores rather than on turning out sociallycompetent students. This doesn’t leave much room for social and emotional learning—the kind of learning that helps kids be successful in life. Making time for the fourth “R”—not just reading, writing, and arithmetic, but also relationships­— might seem challenging, but we believe teachers can incorporate social and emotional learning into the school day. Teachers understand the value of the heart-mind connection.

Kimochis ™ will help students develop the skills to understand their feelings, peacefully communicate feelings to others, develop positive relationships, manage conflict and challenges nonviolently, and make and keep friends. The Kimochis ™ lessons will make a difference for students now and throughout their lives.

Ask any parent what their hopes and dreams are for their child and you’ll get a lot of answers. At the top of the list is “to be happy” and “to lead a life of meaning and purpose.” Ask any teacher why she chose to become a teacher and you are likely to get many different answers. Again, certain to be at the top of the list is “to make a difference in a child’s life” and “to help children know that they can make a difference in the world.”

We know that there are many effective social and emotional programs on the market, and many teachers have invented ways of reaching kids without purchasing a thing. Our hope is that the Kimochis ™ lessons will not feel like a program, but rather a natural extension of teachers’ current methods and another way teachers can reach out to children’s hearts and minds.

Bullying, substance abuse, and incidents of students harming themselves or others are on the rise. Now more than ever, the argument for helping build self-esteem and EQ in children is overwhelmingly strong. Schools and classroom teachers are uniquely poised to make an enormous impact on students’ lives by including a social and emotional learning component to their standard curriculum.

www.kimochis.com

3


R ep ro du ce

D o

N ot

When it comes to bullies, low self-esteem and poor communication skills are usually key contributing factors. Kimochis ™ Feeling Lessons serve to promote nonviolent behaviors and to prevent aggressive, antisocial behaviors by helping students to: • Seek to treat people by the Golden Rule • Explore how their words and actions make people feel • Redo unintentionally hurtful moments • Fend off and handle cruel behavior with nonviolent, effective strategies • Resist negative pressures to be mean or unkind • Know what to say and do when witnessing others who are being bullied • Take another’s point of view and assume good intentions • Get adult help even though they fear retaliation

Ex ce rp t

With the interactive social and emotional lessons included in the Kimochis ™ Feel Guide: Teacher’s Edition, students will learn: • Primary Social Skills: using one’s name, making eye contact, using appropriate tone of voice and body language, turn-taking, redoing regretful interactions, listening • Friendship Skills: cooperation, sharing, including, participating, following rules, apologizing and forgiving, showing patience, being honest, playing fairly • Empathy, Respect, and Tolerance: accepting differences, respecting self and others, displaying compassion for others • Conflict Resolution: apologizing, forgiving, accepting “no,” accepting consequences, agreeing to disagree • Independence and Resilience: being responsible, showing confidence, solving problems, displaying a “can-do” attitude, persevering, moving through upset feelings (bouncing), knowing and being true to one’s self • Behavior: self-regulating, acting responsibly, surrendering one’s agenda to follow directions, being cooperative, patient, understanding, and tolerant of others

Bullying Bullying seems to be happening at earlier ages and with more frequency: • Approximately 30% of students are regularly involved in bullying, either as bullies, victims, or both (National Institutes of Health, 2001). • Approximately 15 % of students report being “severely traumatized or distressed.” 8% report being victimized at least once a week (Skiba & Fontanini, 2000). • Everyday, 160,000 children miss school for fear of being bullied (Banks, 2000) • Every 7 minutes, a child is bullied on the playground (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2001)

Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) Social-emotional learning is the process through which children and adults acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and skills to: • Recognize and manage emotions • Set and achieve positive goals • Demonstrate caring and concern for others • Establish and maintain positive relationships • Make responsible decisions • Handle interpersonal situations effectively

Communication skills and social-emotional instruction are effective prevention and early intervention tools to reduce bullying and to prevent drug and alcohol abuse and other destructive behaviors. 4

www.kimochis.com

Drug and Alcohol Abuse The use of tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs is one of the biggest temptations facing young people today. Helping elementary-age students learn how to handle emotions and make smart, safe choices will prepare them for the peer pressure and temptations that lie ahead.


The Kimochis ™ Feeling Lessons provide you with a proactive tool for the prevention of “at risk” behaviors. Students who feel good about themselves are much less likely to turn to illegal substances for an emotional high. Kimochis ™ can help your students get in touch with reasons to feel good about themselves. The Feeling Lessons teach strategies for handling upset emotions, which will help prevent students from using substances to numb or block challenging feelings as they get older.

D o

R ep ro du ce

23% 9% 9% 9% 10% 11%

improvement in social and emotional skills

improvement in attitudes about self, others, and school

N ot

Ex ce rp t

Character Education “Character education” is an umbrella term loosely used to describe teaching children to develop into moral, civic, honest, and socially acceptable adults. A common approach to a character education program is to provide a list of principles, pillars, values, or virtues that are universally recognized. However, there is no agreement among competing programs on the core values to teach (e.g., honesty, stewardship, kindness, generosity, courage, freedom, justice, equality, respect). The Kimochis ™ program and Feeling Lessons provide character education whereby students practice managing life’s challenges, acting with character, and choosing to be: Respectful: using a respectful voice, face, and words; listening to upset feelings Responsible: speaking up for self or others; admitting and owning mistakes Resilient: moving through emotions alone or by requesting help from others Compassionate and Kind: having empathy or concern for others and looking for moments to be kind to self and others

The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) has found that universal school-based SEL programs yield benefits in three major areas: feelings and attitudes, indicators of behavioral adjustment, and school achievement. More specifically, youth show improvement in social and emotional skills, school bonding, pro-social norms, self-perceptions, positive social behaviors, and academic achievement. Significant reductions occur in such areas as conduct problems, substance use, and internalizing symptoms. The gains produced by school-based programs translate into a(n):

improvement in school and classroom behavior

decrease in conduct problems (e.g. misbehavior and aggression) decrease in emotional distress, such as anxiety and depression increase in achievement test scores

Based on the studies that collected follow-up data in each of the above categories, the positive benefits to students are found to persist over time. Programs are most effective when conducted by teachers rather than researchers, and the programs need to be well implemented in order to attain positive results (Payton,Weissberg, Durlak, et al. (2008) The Positive Impact on SEL on K to 8th Graders. CASEL).

www.kimochis.com

5


R ep ro du ce N ot D o – Ex ce rp t “Research has shown that when schools pay attention to students’ social-emotional development, children perform better academically.” —M.J. Elias et al., Promoting Social and Emotional Learning


The Kimochis Way ™

and Barsade, 2008

R ep ro du ce

N ot

Everyone Wants to Belong and Be Included All children will not be friends, but all children want to trust that when they want to play, participate, and/or join a conversation, they will be treated kindly. There Is Room for Everyone at School You Can’t Say You Can’t Play is not only an extremely good book written by Vivian Paley (1993), but it is also a helpful mantra to use at elementary schools. The book gives students a simple, nonthreatening expression to say when someone says they can’t play.

Ex ce rp t

“Emotional Intelligence, when validly measured, is a predictor of significant outcomes, such as social relations, workplace performance, and mental and physical well-being.” — Mayer, Roberts,

Everyone Has Feelings It takes courage and confidence for students to name what they are feeling. By doing so, they can be better understood and have strong, healthy relationships. It also takes courage and confidence for students to listen to negative feelings others might have toward them.

D o

The Kimochis ™ Way emphasizes how or the way students speak and listen to one another to keep a positive connection no matter what the circumstance. The Kimochis ™ Way guides and supports positive behavior when students are in strong emotion. It is in these moments that their character is defined—a “character moment,” as termed by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Everyone Matters, Everyone Counts! No one person is more important than another.

Communicating with character is the Kimochis ™ Way. Learning positive ways to think and act does not come from the Feeling Lessons alone. It is the underlying philosophy that children will witness and learn from the way adults interact in the world when they are challenged. Students who do not have positive role models at home can and do get positively influenced by what they experience at school.

Fundamentals of The Kimochis™ Way Your classroom will become a caring community of learners as you help students understand, embrace, and communicate with the following beliefs of how to treat people. The Golden Rule (treat others how you want to be treated) is at the heart of the Kimochis ™ Way. The following additional principles will help your students learn to make caring choices during challenging times.

As all classroom teachers know, however, getting to play isn’t so black-and-white.Therefore, it helps to teach students to make room for people, just like they would like people to make room for them. Often it may feel inconvenient to add a player, but the emotional difference it makes for that player really matters. Everyone Makes Mistakes No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Helping students understand that invites them to own and take responsibility for their mistakes.

www.kimochis.com

7


Ex ce rp t

D o

N ot

Kimochis ™ Common Language There is no magic behind the communication vocabulary of the Kimochis ™ Feeling Lessons. Rather, the magic lies in getting schools and homes speaking the same common language so that social-emotional learning is consistent and happens more quickly.

Kimochis ™ will build a strong feeling vocabulary for students. Children will learn what each feeling is called and your class will develop a common vocabulary to quickly name feelings and behaviors. You and your students will hook in the new language as you move forward within the program. Be sure to pass this language on to your families and other classes at your school so that you will all be speaking the same language.

R ep ro du ce

This approach reduces the shame students might feel when they choose negative ways to interact with each other. Boys, especially, need shame-free ways to communicate so they will not disguise sad, hurt, or upset feelings through silliness, aggression, or simply disconnecting from adults.

8

www.kimochis.com


Getting Started

R ep ro du ce

N ot

Ex ce rp t

Do the Introductory Lesson: Meet the Kimochis ™ (page 13). This will acquaint your class with their new friends and learning partners.

Teach the Kimochis ™ Keys to Communication (page 25). This section includes descriptions of why the concept being taught in each key is important. Fun activities are also provided that directly teach each concept. On pages 261–264 in the Appendix, you will find the most important Keys to coach for each Feeling Lesson. The keys are the underlying principles of the Feeling Lessons. They keep children connected to their feelings and teach them to express themselves during emotional moments while maintaining a positive connection with others.

D o

The Introduction Letter we have written will let families know that you are starting a new program that focuses on social-emotional learning. Copy this letter and send it home with your students as a way to keep parents informed and in the loop (see Appendix, page 274).

Your students will naturally identify with the characters. This can provide your class with a safe way to understand and accept one another for the way we are. For example, if your students know that Suzy relates to Huggtopus, it explains why she might get in their personal space. They can then realize that her actions are not intentionally annoying, but that she gets excited easily, which leads to accidental bumps and space invasion. With this kind of knowledge, students can treat each other from a place of “assuming the best” instead of the worst. This will cultivate a caring classroom where students can choose respectful and kind ways to speak to each other in the heat of emotional moments.

This is not a “one size fits all” curriculum. You can choose the activities that best suit the needs of the students in your classroom or on your caseload. The Kimochis ™ program teaches communication skills, social and emotional competence, character development, and problem-solving strategies. The lessons also link to the philosophy of positive behavior support as an effective and proactive way to improve social competence and academic achievement. Below is the recommended sequence for using our Kimochis ™ Feel Guide:

Kick off your first Kimochis™ Class Meeting by introducing the characters, reading their stories, and playing with the feelings. It is important to understand each character to help the students identify with their personalities and temperaments. When you introduce the Kimochis™ characters to younger children, you may need to simplify the stories. Highlight each character’s strengths and challenges.You may want to tell your children each character’s favorite color and food. Return to the stories frequently as each character is used in the Feeling Lessons.

Look through the Creating a Kimochis ™ Classroom section (page 45). Determine what you would like to do to set up your classroom. If you aren’t able to do much initially, don’t worry. Your classroom will transform into a Kimochis ™ Classroom over time.

www.kimochis.com

9


R ep ro du ce

N ot

School Counselors School counselors can use the lessons when providing teachers with classroom guidance or in individual sessions and small group interventions. Special Education Teachers Teachers in special day classes can use the lessons to bring social and emotional learning to students who struggle with these skills. A caring and respectful classroom can be nurtured through instruction, practice, and positive acknowledgement.

Ex ce rp t

Use the Social-Emotional-Behavior Scale (page 273) as a pre- and post-assessment tool to help you capture the positive changes you observe students making in managing emotions. This scale documents how frequently students are demonstrating these new behaviors. SLPs and special educators can use this tool as a way to show positive outcomes in individual students.

Speech-Language Pathologists (SLPs) SLPs can use these lessons with children on their caseloads who have challenges in pragmatic language and social-emotional development. Lessons can be implemented in a classroom or in a pull-out therapy setting.

D o

Dive into the Feeling Lessons. There are different lessons for Early Childhood (page 65) and for Elementary Age Students (page 117). You can pick and choose from each of these lessons depending on the chronological ages, developmental ages, and social-emotional needs of your students. In More Feelings (page 227), we have included some ideas on how to develop lessons for the 15 additional feelings included in your Kimochis ™ Classroom Kit. Have fun!

who can use the feel guide Teachers (Early Education and Elementary) You can use these lessons to help your students learn how to manage their feelings and behaviors to make positive choices in social and emotional situations. You can the Kimochis ™ tools and principles to help transform your classroom into an environment that is kind, caring, and respectful.

If you have students in your classroom with special needs, look over Kimochis ™ for Students with Special Needs (page 55). This section will give you an introduction to the types of students who will benefit from the Kimochis ™ SEL program. You will find strategies (in blue) that can help you adjust the Feeling Lessons to meet the needs of all students. We have also included enhancements—specific techniques to implement that can assist students with different learning needs to understand and apply the new skills.

Remember that this is a fluid, rather than a static, process, as you will go back and forth among these components in the curriculum. Don’t worry about what your lessons will look and sound like because you will find they will develop naturally.

Other Specialists Specialists such as occupational therapists, physical therapists, and teachers of the hearing impaired/ visually impaired/orthopedically impaired often find that collaborating with the classroom teacher or other specialists on social-emotional goals can be an excellent way to deliver services to students on their caseloads. Play/Drama/Family Therapists Therapists will find the lessons can augment their therapeutic interventions for struggling children in school and/or in a clinical setting.

10

www.kimochis.com


Introductory Lesson

N ot

R ep ro du ce

Bug

Huggtopus

Cat

D o

Lovey Dove

Ex ce rp t

Cloud

Introduce your class to the Kimochis ™ characters by reading their stories and allowing the students to PLAY with the toys and feelings! The Kimochis ™ characters live in your neighborhood—on a regular tree-lined street with houses in a row just like yours! The only difference between our houses and theirs is that they live in houses high up in trees. Sometimes, when you become a bit emotional and start to lose yourself, chances are you might end up on their street. Welcome to Kimochis ™ Way! Kimochis ™ Way is a place where everyone works together to work out differences. At times, we might have different moods, opinions, ideas, likes, dislikes, hopes and dreams. Because we are different, we have to learn how to work together, express ourselves as individuals and as a group, and communicate as best we can with lovingness and kindness. When we get emotional, sometimes we can slip up. We might react in a way that may upset someone else or cause a misunderstanding. This is always okay on Kimochis ™ Way. On Kimochis ™ Way, you always get a do-over!

www.kimochis.com

13


Ex ce rp t

D o

N ot

R ep ro du ce

KIMOCHIS™ CLOUD

14

www.kimochis.com


Kimochis™ Cloud is a bit unpredictable. One day he is happy, the next he is angry, and the next day—who knows—maybe sad or even happy again. Cloud lives in the big sky and loves to travel across the Kimochis™ Way treetops, paying visits to all his friends. Cloud’s favorite number is 9. His favorite color is gray because there are so many different shades of it—just like his personality. Cloud loves butterscotch pudding and green tea. Cloud doesn’t play an instrument but he is a great audience! Because Cloud can be moody, sometimes it’s hard for him to get along with the others. When Cloud is happy, he spreads the most beautiful sunshine across the Kimochis™ Universe and makes everyone feel fantastic! But when Cloud feels bad, he has a tendency to snap and thunder and rain on everyone’s parade. Cloud does not do this intentionally. He just has a hard time controlling his emotions, but he works very hard at not being hurtful. The others love and support him because he is their friend.

R ep ro du ce

Ask your students

“Do you know anyone who is like Cloud? How are they like him? Are you like Cloud? How?”

Cloud is a great teacher!

Cloud is the mood-regulating Kimochis™ character. He helps students learn to predict, plan, and practice using a tone of voice, face, and words that will maintain a positive connection amid upset feelings. Cloud comes with Happy, Mad, and Sad Kimochis™ feelings pillows. Cloud is an excellent teacher on how to:

D o

N ot

BE Respectful • Use self-soothing techniques to comfort, regulate, and resolve mad and sad feelings. • “You can feel mad without being mean” is Cloud’s mantra. • Predict what causes BIG emotion so that you can plan and practice what to say and do. • Use courage and compassion to listen and respect friends’ mad feelings. You don’t have to agree, but you do have to seek to understand why someone is feeling mad.

Ex ce rp t

BE Responsible • Think before speaking. Ask yourself, “Will this be helpful or hurtful?” • Choose a talking face, voice, and words (as opposed to a fighting face, voice, and words) when feeling upset so that others are more willing to listen. • Choose helpful words vs. fighting words so problem-solving can begin amid upset feelings. • Ask for what you want and need to resolve upset feelings. “I need …”; “I want …” • Send strong, clear “I mean it” messages when your words are not respected the first time. • Catch yourself and redo the moment when you accidentally hurt feelings. • When someone starts something that causes mad feelings, you can take responsibility to stop it. BE Resilient • Use self-talk scripts to bounce back following mad and sad feelings. BE Compassionate and Kind • Use your eyes and ears to notice others’ mad or sad feelings and offer comfort. • Graciously decline offers of help when you prefer to be alone with mad and sad feelings.

www.kimochis.com

15


Ex ce rp t

D o

N ot

R ep ro du ce

KIMOCHIS™ Huggtopus

18

www.kimochis.com


Kimochis™ Huggtopus is, needless to say, all smiles and hugs. She is very affectionate and strong and sometimes gets a little carried away by her big, friendly personality. Huggtopus doesn’t know her own strength and can sometimes be a little overbearing. She always means well but has to learn about respecting others’ boundaries. You can always count on Huggtopus to put a smile on your face if you’re feeling down and to give you a great big hug to make you feel better. Huggtopus is a great friend and is always there to lend a hand or two or even eight! Huggtopus lives in Kimochis™ Bug’s swimming hole. Her favorite number is 8 and her favorite color is pink. Huggs loves to eat EVERYTHING but has a special fondness for bubble gum. Huggtopus plays the xylophone.

ask your students

R ep ro du ce

“Do you know anyone who is like Huggs? How are they like her? Are you like Huggs? How?”

Huggs is a great teacher!

Huggs is the Kimochis™ character who helps create an inclusive classroom where tolerance and appreciation for our uniqueness are celebrated. Huggs can teach your students how to stay focused amidst all the silly and exciting distractions that can happen in one’s learning environment. Huggs comes with Happy, Silly, and Frustrated Kimochis™ feelings pillows. She is an excellent teacher on how to:

N ot

BE respectful • Read social cues to realize that you have accidentally overwhelmed another. • Respect personal space and politely request it when your space is invaded.

Ex ce rp t

D o

BE responsible • Refocus yourself if becoming silly when it is time to be serious. • Know what to say and do when another’s silliness is distracting you from learning. • Use kind ways to let someone know they are bothering you. • Know what to say and do should someone’s rough-and-tumble play style feel overwhelming. • Check in to see that your play style is fun for everyone and not just you. Ask, “Are you okay?” should you accidentally bump into or hurt someone. • Realize when you are “taking over” by talking too much and give others a turn. BE resilient • Manage frustration in positive ways so you can perservere and be resilient. • Accept apologizes and reengage in play or conversation after someone accidentally bumps into or hurts you. BE Compassionate and Kind • Know what to say and do to not repeat or contribute to conversations that put down someone. • Seek ways to enjoy and appreciate the positive qualities in another. • Look for ways for shy or more reluctant personalities to get involved in play or conversation. • Be tolerant and understanding of another’s idiosyncrasies and use kind ways to let someone know to be careful or give you more personal space.

www.kimochis.com

19


20

www.kimochis.com

Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


Keys to Communication 1

Call someone’s name, wait for eye contact, and give a communication tap, if necessary, before you speak.

R ep ro du ce

2

Use a talking tone of voice instead of a fighting tone of voice. 3

D o

4

N ot

Use a talking face and relaxed body language instead of a fighting face and tense body language.

Ex ce rp t

Choose words that help instead of hurt. (“I feel mad because …” instead of “I hate it when …”) 5

Be brave and redo hurtful moments. 6

Be kind and let people try again. 7

Assume the best. ( “He probably isn’t mad at me, maybe he is mad because he lost the game.”) © 2010 Plushy Feely Corp.


Activity 2 Reading Body Language

Ex ce rp t

Invite students to explain this equation and give examples, such as: “Pretend that you are asked to help. If you respond with ‘Sure, I’ll help,’ in a willing tone of voice and a happy face you will project a positive attitude, even if you don’t really want to participate.”

R ep ro du ce

Attitude = Body Language + Tone of Voice + Actions

N ot

Older students will benefit from the teacher helping them understand the relationship among attitude, body language, and tone of voice. Write on the board:

Early Childhood Use the simplest feeling pillows for this lesson (Sad, Mad, Happy, Silly). Model what the body language for each feeling looks like as you identify it.Then put the feeling pillows in a bag and ask a student to pull one out. Whisper the feeling in his ear and ask him to act out the feeling with his body. Students in the group can guess the feeling. Teach the emotional vocabulary by saying such statements as, “When he was silly, he wiggled his arms and legs”; “When she was mad, she scrunched up her face.” Then ask the entire class to act out the feeling. This allows students to practice, builds comprehension, provides movement, and gives the reluctant learner an opportunity to safely participate.

D o

Remember the percentages about nonverbal communication from Key 2: 30% tone of voice, 60% body language, 10% words. People interpret communication messages by observing what your body language and tone of voice are saying, not always your words!

WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT The number one reason for miscommunication is that people do not read body language accurately. For example, have you ever thought someone was mad at you because of their facial expression and then learned they were not mad at you at all? Perhaps they were concentrating, tired, or had something important on their mind. But you misread the message and took it personally. When you play these games with your class, they will begin to experience how what we see is not always what a person is feeling.

Key #3 Use a talking face and relaxed body language instead of a fighting face and tense body language.

Activity 1 Building a Common Language

WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT Showing students how much we communicate with our bodies is essential to understanding Key 3. This activity makes that concept very obvious, even to young students.

Early Childhood/Elementary Without saying a word, begin a lesson by waving to your students. Most will naturally wave back. Say, “I didn’t say a word and my body communicated. My body talked. What did I say with my hand?” Frequently, students will want to talk about sign language. Teach them some simple signs (yes, no, happy, I love you) that they can use in the classroom and at home. You could invite a guest to teach sign language for a future lesson. 32

www.kimochis.com

Elementary Turn on music and pass three to five Kimochis ™ feeling pillows around the circle. When the music stops, students holding the pillows should keep them covered and raise them above their heads. Any student who wishes to act out the feeling with body language takes a turn. (The teacher will need to whisper the word for those students who are nonreaders.) After a feeling is guessed correctly, the teacher can reinforce emotional vocabulary by making such statements as, “You read her facial expression”; “Her body language told you what she was feeling”; “Without talking, we send messages about how we are feeling.” Invite the rest of the class to demonstrate feelings on their faces. Point out the similarities and differences so students


R ep ro du ce

N ot

Related Literature Yo! Yes? by Chris Raschka (see page 269).

Ex ce rp t

Ask four volunteers to join you at the front of the class. Ask these students to look mad at their classmates. Help them notice what is similar and different about each person’s body language. For instance, some people look down and some do not. Some people frown and others don’t. Explain to your class how some people may even smirk or smile when feeling mad. Ask older students how this information might help them in life. Consider bringing culture into this conversation. A fantastic, user-friendly resource is Dr. Celeste Roseberry-McKibbins’s Multicultural

Next, have a student pull a Kimochis ™ feeling from a character’s pouch that has been prestuffed with four feeling pillows. The student demonstrates his emotion with his face and body so the teacher can model how to talk about what’s observed. (“You look scared. Are you scared?”). When students learn to check in with others before making assumptions, they can prevent misreading a situation. The word “misreading” is a nonliteral word that you will need to explain. Ask students to share if they have been misread or have ever misread others. Share your own experiences of how you’ve been misunderstood. Tell them how this made you feel and what you did to be better understood. Highlight the courage it takes to maintain eye contact, and use a talking tone and face when you feel you have been misunderstood.

D o

Tuck a feeling pillow inside each of the Kimochis ™ characters. Students take turns pulling out a feeling and thinking of a situation that might create this feeling. For example, “When you forget your homework, you get this feeling.” The classmate who guesses the feeling correctly takes the next turn. Highlight that people often have more than one feeling at a time (feeling frustrated, scared, and mad when we forget our homework). Likewise, not everyone will necessarily have the same feelings in the same situation. Ask older students why this is important to remember in life.

Students with Special Language Needs. This book provides you with general background information, cultural customs, and beliefs, along with a bullet list of communication implications for various cultures.

begin to pick up on how facial expressions for feelings are not always the same.

www.kimochis.com

33


structure to the game so students know whose turn it is. Once your class understands the game, remove Huggtopus and call a name of a student who gets to bump the closest student and use this communication skill.

Related Literature Benjamin Bear Says Sorry by Claire Freedman (see page 265); Personal Space Camp by Julia Cook (see page 268). Activity 2 Repeat Offenders

Ex ce rp t

• Make Huggtopus dance and bump into you. • Make eye contact and say, “Huggs, please be careful.” • Have Huggtopus respond, “Sorry.” • Respond, “That’s okay. Just be more careful next time.”

R ep ro du ce

Early Childhood/Elementary (This activity may seem too childish for the older students, but they love it too!) Open this activity up by telling students that sometimes Huggtopus can get so excited and silly that she accidentally bumps into kids and steps on their toes. Model this through the following scenario:

N ot

WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT It is important that students learn to forgive, be resilient, and be generous of heart. This activity helps students understand that when friends make mistakes, we can forgive and forget because everyone makes mistakes. When one student embraces this key, it will have a ripple effect on the rest of the class. More and more students will begin to learn that it is far easier and kinder to forgive than to hold on to hurts and upsets.

Wrap up this activity by discussing with your class the times of day when we all could be more mindful about using this communication key. Transition time is usually full of accidental moments in which kindness would be welcomed. For young students, put Huggtopus in a place where she can “watch” the students make the transition as a reminder to them. At the end of your day, have Huggtopus share all the kind ways she saw the class use this key at transition time. For older students, assign two observers to report on how classmates have been kind and forgiving.

D o

Activity 1 The Huggtopus Dance Helps Us Learn to Forgive

Key 6 Be kind and let people try again.

Then, tell the students to jump around and dance along with Huggtopus. Call “Freeze” and make Huggtopus bump into someone.The student who gets bumped practices being kind and forgiving. Now this student gets to hold Huggtopus and dance. When you call “Freeze,” this student has Huggtopus bump a student and so on. You can change the game by having Huggs step on toes or do another nonverbal accident. These actions often cause students to shout at each other with words such as “Watch it!” Huggtopus gives 40

www.kimochis.com

WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT Students need guidance on how to handle students who repeatedly tease or say hurtful words. It is smart and healthy to recognize when words and deeds do not match.

Early Childhood/Elementary Open this class discussion by commenting on how kind the class has been by forgiving classmates when they make mistakes.Take the time to pass the Proud feeling to any student who wishes to name how they have been practicing kindness and forgiveness. Ask the students: “How does it make you feel about yourselves when you choose to be kind and forgiving?” “How do you believe your classmates feel toward you when you are kind and forgiving?”


R ep ro du ce

Place the feelings Embarrassed, Shy, Scared, Mad, Sad, and Uncomfortable in the center of the circle. Ask for volunteers to take turns talking about these feelings as a way to explain why it might be challenging to make a sincere apology. For example, “I feel embarrassed that I talked behind your back and I’m shy about apologizing.” Remind students that it takes courage to make a sincere apology. Wrap up this activity by reminding students that sometimes people might say “Sorry” in a way that sounds insincere. Ask students to consider accepting the apology anyway. This demonstrates that they understand the person may be struggling with their own feelings about their actions.

Ex ce rp t

Model what you might say if you use the above words and the classmate apologizes and says she will wait, but she still does not. Wrap up this activity by having students think about when they can imagine using this communication tool in real life. Discuss who they could talk to (teacher, yard duty, parent) if their attempts to talk with the repeat offender fail. Remind your students of how important and helpful it is to reach out to other people for help. Help them to remember that everyone needs help sometimes.

Early Childhood/Elementary Use the Sorry feeling pillow to demonstrate insincere apologies. Ask students, “What do you observe about my face and voice that makes you think that I’m really not sorry?”

N ot

Name how you would communicate this feeling. For example, “Can you please wait for me next time? I feel left out when everyone runs ahead.”

WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT Apologizing takes courage. An apology might sound and look insincere if we are trying to manage our own shame and fear. This activity will help your students understand that people often sound insincere because they feel so badly and are struggling to manage their shame or embarrassment.

D o

Use one of the upset feeling pillows, such as Left Out, Mad, or Scared. Have students identify a situation that could create this feeling during the school day. For example, “Everyone runs to four-square and they start the game without waiting for me.”

Activity 3 Insincere Apologies

Explain that sometimes we forgive, but that still might not stop the hurtful behavior. For example, a classmate may say she is sorry she didn’t let you play, and then the next day, she excludes you again. Brainstorm with your class about how to communicate with each other when this happens. Model how to repeat a request in a firmer, more voice: “Yesterday you told me you would let me play, and now you are not. I am having a hard time believing your words.”

Related Literature Sorry by Trudy Ludwig (see page 268).

www.kimochis.com

41


R ep ro du ce N ot D o – Ex ce rp t “A meta-analysis of over 300 studies has shown that SEL programs significantly improve social and emotional skills as well as academic performance.” —J.A. Durlak et al., The Effects of School-Based Social Emotional Learning


Strategies and Enhancements for Students with Social-Emotional Challenges

R ep ro du ce

N ot

Ex ce rp t

Promote Active Engagement Students with social-emotional challenges may struggle with attention and impulse control. Think about how these students can be actively involved in the Feeling Lessons so they will be less likely to blurt out or lose their attention. Strategies to try: • Student stands at the front of the room and holds the Kimochis™ character during the lesson • Student passes out the Kimochis™ feeling pillows • Student writes brainstormed ideas on the whiteboard (with adult assistance, if needed) • Student is involved in the role-play • Student turns to a peer to share a response to a question in a Feeling Lesson • Student sits near teacher so she can easily prompt the student to attend • Teacher prompts students to respond chorally (students answer all together)

Adjust Sitting Requirements for Lessons Students with social-emotional challenges often struggle with sitting still and keeping their bodies quiet. They may need more movement opportunities than other children. Some suggestions to help these students when seated on the floor for the Feeling Lessons: • Provide an individualized carpet square that is “reserved” for that student • If possible, have the student sit up against a wall, table, or desk • Allow the student to sit in a chair or stand at the back of the circle • Allow the student to lie on stomach, propping his head on his elbows • Encourage the student hold or squeeze a large pillow held in lap

D o

Strategies Use Repetition A high level of repetition is essential to learning for these students. The repeated experience of hearing the Kimochis ™ language and practicing the newly learned skills in role-plays will help students use these strategies when needed in real-life situations.

Make Instructional Language Comprehensible Some may have delays or deficits in language comprehension and expression.They may struggle with slow auditory processing, limited vocabulary, and grammatical difficulties. During the lessons, it will be important to monitor how you deliver the message. Remember these tips: • Slow down to improve comprehension • Speak using simplified language • Repeat when necessary • Pause to allow students “think time” • Check for understanding

Students with significant social-emotional challenges learn and acquire social-emotional skills differently than their typically developing peers. Teachers will benefit from the strategies included here to adjust the Feeling Lessons so they are comprehensible and accessible to all students. Enhancements are more specific techniques that can be used to “enhance” the Feeling Lessons and help accommodate the unique learning needs of these students.

Provide predictable routines Whenever possible, try to do the Feeling Lessons at the same time of the day and on the same day(s) of the week. Predictability and routine help students organize

www.kimochis.com

59


R ep ro du ce

N ot

Ex ce rp t

Acknowledge Positive Choices When students with social-emotional challenges make good choices, they need to be acknowledged. Because students with special needs can be keenly aware they are different, they can struggle with selfconfidence and may be quick to give up when trying to use their newly learned skills. Recognize and remember that they will need more acknowledgement when they “get it right” than their typically developing peers. It is important to remember the following when giving positive verbal acknowledgement: • State the specific behavior. For example, “You used your talking hand. That’s great.” • Move beyond “Good job” or “Good work.” These statements are not specific enough to let the student know what was positive.

Use Visual Supports Visual supports facilitate the comprehension and learning of new concepts. They can be tools to give information, manage behavior, provide communication choices, or prompt students to do the right thing. Visuals are powerful learning tools because they: • Help students understand what they hear • Support verbal explanations by staying stable over time • Make abstract verbal concepts more concrete • Engage student attention • Help students remember what they’ve learned

D o

Guide Positive Behavior Students with socialemotional challenges will need extra assistance to generalize the skills they have learned to everyday life in the school. Therefore, they will require frequent and gentle reminders to guide their behavior. The “Teachable Moments” section of the Early Childhood segment of this guide (see page 65) presents suggestions on how to help younger students be successful in various activities of the school day (Circle Time, learning center, playground). The “Commitment to Character” section of each Elementary-Age Feeling Lesson has tips that teachers can use to prompt students when they need extra assistance in social situations throughout the day.

• Give the immediate acknowledgement as soon as possible after the student’s behavior. They need to make the connection between their behavior and what you say to them. • Be sincere and enthusiastic. Remember that many of the skills you are teaching are not easy for children to use. Any attempts they make to use the skills need to be recognized and acknowledged. The “Commitment to Character” section of each Elementary-Age Feeling Lesson has example statements that teachers can use to acknowledge effectively.

themselves because they can predict what will happen next. As a result, it is easier to let go of anxious feelings and be more available for learning. If you need to cancel or reschedule a lesson, let students know beforehand. Show students on your daily or weekly planner when the lesson is rescheduled. Taking the time to provide this will be worth it.

60

www.kimochis.com

Visual supports can be objects, pictures, icons, photos, schedules, printed routines, reminder cards, highlighted words, labels, and more. Kimochis ™ characters and feeling pillows can be considered visual supports. However, some students may need more support to learn and remember the communication tools taught in the Feeling Lessons. Therefore, the enhancements described on the next pages contain a supplemental visual component (in addition to the Kimochis ™ characters and feelings).


cranky Our Definition

When someone is in a really bad mood

picture

Sounds like

Feels like inside

Big smile

Laughing

Warm inside

Nice tone of voice

Great!

“Smiling eyes”

R ep ro du ce

Looks like

N ot

#2 Face and Tone of Voice If students with social-emotional challenges can actually “see” the way a face and voice looks for a specific feeling, it may help them understand the concept more easily. A number of Feeling Lessons compare a “positive” face and voice with a “negative” face and voice as a way to help students differentiate between the two (for example, the friendly face/voice vs. the unfriendly face/voice). These concepts can be easily drawn by using the Kimochis ™ feeling face (i.e., Friendly) paired with a speaking bubble that looks relaxed and gentle. Compare the friendly face/voice with the opposite face and voice by drawing an unfriendly face with a speaking bubble that looks scary and mean. Place words in the bubble that also reflect the emotion. For example:

Ex ce rp t

Student-Friendly Definition Poster Make a poster that looks like the one below. It needs to be big enough for students to see from the back of the room. Brainstorm with students how to write a student-friendly definition for the word. This is not a definition from the dictionary, but from their own minds. These definitions often have the words “somebody” or “something” in them. Then ask students when they might feel the emotion (this is the “realworld connection”). See if students can think of synonyms. Draw a simple picture of the feeling or copy the face from the corresponding Kimochis ™. Leave this poster up in a visible place in the room and refer to it often as you work through the Feeling Lesson. Add definitions, words, or realworld connections when they come up in class.

Happy

D o

#1 Feeling Word Definitions Feelings can sometimes be vague and subtle. As a result, they can be difficult to comprehend and define in words. In each Feeling Lesson, the feeling is initially discussed in the “Self-Awareness” and “SelfRegulation” sections. Presenting a visual “definition” will give the educator and students a place to refer back to when the feeling needs to be reexplained. There are two different ways to do this:

Feeling Chart Make a chart like the one shown. Brainstorm with students words that fit into each section as a way to understand the feeling word better. Leave the Feeling Chart up in the room and add to it as students have additional suggestions. Refer to the chart when you observe students looking, sounding, or feeling like the words on the chart.

Enhancement Strategies

our real-world connections

I feel cranky when… I don’t get enough sleep! I’m hungry!

Other words that mean the same: grouchy, crabby, irritable

Friendly Face and Voice

Unfriendly Face and Voice

www.kimochis.com

61


62

www.kimochis.com

Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


Teaching the Feeling Lessons for Early Childhood

R ep ro du ce

The Kimochis ™ Feeling Lessons use an intentional instructional process to help children understand and learn what behaviors are expected. Using the word “expect” tells children this is not a choice. The Kimochis ™ BE vocabulary and characters become tools to help children connect to reallife feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Parents are an important component in the instructional process so that they can reinforce and teach these important behavioral expectations at home. Parents can use the same BE language at home and practice the skills as a family.

Our prevention-based lessons promote the growth and development of the whole child. The early childhood lessons include learning experiences that promote academic success and schoolreadiness through the following learning domains:

N ot

GETTING STARTED WITH THE LESSONS You should have already introduced the Kimochis ™ characters and feelings pillows. You have also worked through the Keys to Communication (those that are relevant to younger children). Your classroom is turning into a Kimochis ™ Classroom—you are ready to get going with the Feeling Lessons!

USING THE Kimochis ™ CHARACTERS TO TEACH BEHAVORIAL EXPECTATIONS (BE) In the Kimochis ™ Classroom, children are taught how to BE (Behavior Expectations) a person of character. That means we intentionally teach children how to make positive choices in school and in life. When children do not know how to read or write, we teach them. The same is true with behavior … we must teach them so that they can build the brain connections necessary for academic and life success. When we consider that inappropriate behavior is an unlearned skill, we can understand how to guide and direct children to choose more appropriate behaviors.

D o

The Feeling Lessons are a fantastic tool to teach children to be compassionate, respectful, responsible, and resilient—Kimochis ™ Kid!

Ex ce rp t

Social and Emotional Development: self-control, self-concept, cooperation, social relationship, knowledge of family and community Approaches to Learning: initiative and curiosity, engagement and persistence, reasoning and problem-solving Language Development: listening and understanding, speaking and communicating Literacy: book knowledge and appreciation, phonological awareness, print awareness and concepts, early writing, alphabet knowledge Creative Arts: dramatic play, art, music, movement

Important behavioral expectations in an early education classroom are: safe, helpful, kind, brave, and friendly. Kimochis ™ characters can connect to each of these expectations. • We Are Safe Lovey helps children solve problems and develop thoughtfulness. • We Are Helpful Cat helps children develop patience, helpfulness, and forgiveness. www.kimochis.com

67


moments is challenging. Practicing with the Kimochis ™ characters will increase the odds of your little ones being able to retrieve positive words and ways to handle their feelings in real life. The Kimochis ™ play practice will also boost the confidence of reluctant learners by providing a “concrete” way to express feelings.

The FEELING LESSONS CONNECT and teach children Learning outcomes and emotional literacy (vocabulary words) are provided in each lesson to help guide your lesson planning. Talk about the meanings of the vocabulary words during your Feeling Lessons. The meanings will become clearer to the children as you work through Kimochis ™ role-plays, games, and extension activities.

After using the suggested lessons, create your own shows following this pattern: Opening Teacher demonstrates the “wrong” way to handle emotional situations (kids hitting when they feel mad). Scripts Teacher models real-life situations with positive words (social scripts) and positive ways (tone of voice and body language) so children can see, hear, and feel a better way to handle the emotions. Shows Students imitate teacher’s model. Students problem-solve “What other things you could do?” Volunteers demonstrate other tips and tricks for handling this emotional situation. Wrap-up Discuss together and ask children “Where at home or at school will you practice this communication habit?” Have children make a commitment to one action.

N ot

D o

Ex ce rp t

COMMUNICATE at Circle Time During Kimochis ™ Circle Time, model each new feeling to intentionally teach the behaviors outlined in the CONNECT goals. Give children the words and ways to manage thoughts, feelings, and behaviors (self-awareness/regulation). Learning experiences will also teach children how to be aware of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of others (social awareness).

R ep ro du ce

• We Are Kind Cloud helps children learn to use positive connections when upset. • We Are Brave Bug helps children learn to include everyone and be brave enough to do the right thing. • We Are Friendly Huggtopus helps children learn to appreciate how everyone is unique.

The communication goal is to choose and regulate tone of voice, body language, words, and actions that will help children feel connected rather than disconnected during emotional situations.

CREATE and PRACTICE Kimochis ™ Play The Kimochis ™ Way is taught with role-plays or “shows.” Using the Kimochis ™ characters to re-create real-life scenarios provides children the opportunity to practice words and scripts in a safe environment when they are emotionally calm and open to learning. During the shows, children rehearse scripts “away from the real emotion.” Remember, retrieving helpful words while in emotional 68

www.kimochis.com

Tips for creating successful role-plays: • Initially, the teacher is the director of the Kimochis ™ show so the children can be guided in handling real-life scenarios appropriately. Children can then re-create the show, while others pretend to be the audience. • Encourage children to create their own Kimochis ™ shows throughout the day. • Use calm tone of voice, relaxed body language, and helpful words to convey messages. Children will imitate your positive model. • Think about classroom routines that create upset feelings (when someone does not take


R ep ro du ce

Language and Literacy To encourage language and literacy development, we recommend that you include other children’s literature during your Feeling Lesson. A few are listed with each lesson. Add your favorites too! A complete listing can be found on pages 265–270.

D o

N ot

Almost all children’s literature can be used to teach social-emotional skills. If you are using the literature in a theme-based program, read the story as a part of your themed unit and then re-read the story with a focus on social-emotional development. After completing a Feeling Lesson, consider how a book can be used to reinforce the learning goals. The example below demonstrates how to use the book Swimmy to reinforce socialemotional learning. Swimmy by Leo Leonni The social-emotional goals in this beautifully illustrated book include: • Bullying Help children understand how the tuna is someone who is unkind and bullies others. • Diversity Point out how Swimmy is different than all the other fish and relate that to the diversity and the uniqueness in all of us. • Emotions As Swimmy is left alone, talk about how he feels sad and left out. Use the Kimochis ™ Hopeful, Sad, and Left Out feelings to represent his emotions. Notice that Swimmy is hopeful and does not give up. He is determined to think of something to do to solve his problem of feeling left out. • Conflict Resolution In the end, Swimmy brings everyone together to fend off the bullying tuna

Ex ce rp t

EXTEND THE LEARNING Lessons include suggested learning experiences for teachable moments, games, language and literacy, and artistic expression. Be creative and identify other ways to use the Kimochis ™ characters and feelings in the early childhood classroom.

tice new skills and a safe, nonjudging way. For ideas on how to create Kimochis ™ games, refer to Kimochis ™ Games for Early Childhood on page 269. Encourage children to create new ways to play Kimochis ™ games. Share ideas with educators at www.kimochis.com.

turns, bosses, grabs, pushes, cuts in line). Set up Kimochis ™ shows to practice what to say and do during these common moments. • Children often have fun doing a show the wrong way first. “Negative practice” can be a positive way to help kids see and understand what not to do in real life. Always end with lots of positive practice so children remember helpful ways to work out challenges. • When children report upsetting interactions, invite them to put on Kimochis ™ shows so you can see what might have happened. After the shows, ask if they know what to say and do if the upset happens again. Then have children redo the moment to show how to handle the upset in the Kimochis ™ Way, monitoring tone of voice and face and using helping words. • Remember, some children may prefer to learn through observation. Let children know that watching and listening is also an important way to participate.

Teachable Moments Use the Kimochis ™ characters and feelings to help children generalize their learning experiences. Kimochis ™ are designed to be used throughout the day, not just during the intentional instruction time. Take Cat to the playground to help with conflict resolution. Surprise the class by inviting Bug to be special guest at lunchtime to teach manners. The possibilities are endless. Use your imagination and share your ideas with other educators at www.kimochis.com. Games Interactive games and learning experiences can encourage creativity and problem-solving as well as giving children the opportunity to prac-

www.kimochis.com

69


R ep ro du ce

N ot

Ex ce rp t

SCHEDULING Make every day a Kimochis ™ Day! Begin your morning with a greeting routine: • Greet each child as they come in the door with eye contact and say his/her name. • Teach children how to acknowledge adults and peers by greeting them with a hug, a high five, or and handshake. • Starting the day with this simple, yet meaningful routine tells children that they matter. It also clues you in on the emotional state of the child that morning and helps you plan your day. • Bring a Kimochis ™ character or feeling pillow to join you at the door to welcome each child. Be creative and make up your own greeting routines!

FLEXIBILITY The Kimochis ™ Feel Guide: Teacher’s Edition is designed to be used with flexibility so you choose the lessons that best meet the needs of your class. It is important to remember to teach the Keys to Communication before you move to the Feeling Lessons. There is no right, wrong, or specific order for teaching the Feeling Lessons, so have fun! • Choose the Feeling Lessons most relevant to the needs of your classroom. • Open each Feeling Lesson with the COMMUNICATE section, then choose the Kimochis ™ plays and learning experiences that work best for your class. • Teach and reteach the lessons as often and as long as needed. Young children learn through repetition. The more they practice, the more they begin to understand and create new positive habits. • Practice in small groups, one-on-one, or as a whole class.

D o

Artistic Expression The Feeling Lessons also include a project that helps to extend socialemotional learning as well as develop artistic creativity. Each lesson has one child-generated, meaningful art project specific to that feeling. The intention is to reinforce the goals of the Feeling Lesson and to encourage creativity.

End your day with a Kimochis ™ Check-in: • Gather the children in a quick circle. Show several feelings and ask if they felt happy, sad, mad anytime during the day. • Complete Kimochis ™ Notes (see Creating a Kimochis ™ Classroom, page 45) for students to take home.

and other dangers in the sea by embracing their uniqueness and working together to solve a really big problem. In the end, everyone is happy and hopeful.

Continue your day with Kimochis ™ Circle Time: • It is important to make an emotional connection with your students as a positive way to begin every day. • Make the Feeling Lessons a part of your daily routine. Knowing what to expect each day helps children feel safe, comfortable, and confident. • Acknowledge, acknowledge, acknowledge! When you observe a child practicing a new habit, acknowledge them by name. Teach them to celebrate their own success and feel great about their positive choices! 70

www.kimochis.com

Kimochis ™ TV • Use a video camera to capture the shows for children to watch just for fun. All educators know that this kind of fun can lead to more learning. Just like an athlete learns to perfect her skill by watching herself swing, run, or throw, children can learn to improve communication skills by seeing themselves in action. • You might email video Kimochis™ shows to parents for a quick way for families to see and hear what you are teaching. For more ideas, see pages 241–243.


One simple way to connect with parents is to send home a form letter to see how they feel school is going for their child. It could be something as simple as asking, “Is your child feeling happy at school?” or “Is there anything I need to know?” An example is given on page 274. Most parents put their child’s happiness at the top of their list of developmental goals, with academics second, so they will appreciate you checking in with them to see how their child is feeling about school. Share your ideas with us at www.kimochis.com.

Ex ce rp t

D o

N ot

R ep ro du ce

HOME LINK A major component of early childhood education is creating a positive connection with the families. Educators know that when home and school are in sync, learning happens rapidly. Include your families in understanding the Kimochis ™ Way so that the children are receiving the same message at school and at home. Parents look to educational professionals to guide them in the early years, so welcome them as a vital part of your school community.

www.kimochis.com

71


R ep ro du ce N ot D o

Ex ce rp t

MAD KOTOWAZA

It’s okay to be mad, but it’s not okay to be mean.

80

www.kimochis.com


MAD KIMOCHIS™ NOTE This Feeling Lesson will help children practice using a talking face and voice and helpful words when feeling mad or listening to mad feelings.You know firsthand how challenging it is to help children use their words amid mad feelings. With this lesson, children will learn how to manage themselves when they are feeling mad as well as deal with others who do not express mad feelings in a kind way.

CONNECT and teach children Emotional Vocabulary Mad, Friendly, Kind, Sad, Sorry, Hurt

N ot

“What happens inside your body when you feel mad? ‘When I feel mad …’ ” (e.g., my heart races; I get hot; I want to scream). List responses on the board. Self-Regulation “What are things you say or do when you feel mad that you might regret, or feel bad about. ‘Sometimes when I feel mad, I …’ ”(hit, yell, grab, say mean words).

Ex ce rp t

Opening/Circle Time Introduce Cloud and all his feelings to your class. Read his story and have children relate to how they are like Cloud. Highlight that Cloud is a bit moody and can say and do things that are not kind when he feels mad. Explain that the children are going to learn to be mad without being unkind.

Check-in

D o

COMMUNICATE with a Kimochis

R ep ro du ce

• To use kind, but assertive words and actions when others hit, push, yell • To understand how we maintain kindness even through our mad feelings

• To recognize and express mad feelings in positive ways • To know what to say and do in mad moments

Tuck the Mad feeling pillow into Cloud and pass him around for the children to hold as they respond to the self-awareness and self-regulation activities below. Use a mirror so each child can see his own “Mad” expression.

Self-Awareness “Raise your hand if you ever feel mad. Everyone gets mad feelings now and then, and it’s okay to be mad. It’s even okay to be really, really mad, but it is never okay to be mean with your face, voice, words, or actions.” “Show me with your face and body what you look like when you feel mad. What are some things that make you feel mad? ‘I feel mad when …’ ”

“What happens when you let your body do the wrong thing, like yell, hit, grab, or say hurtful words?” (Simple answers: It starts a fight; I get in trouble; I lose friends.) Model the difference between a mad face and a fighting face or a scary face. Ask the children which face is easier to look at when a friend is feeling mad. Use a mirror to invite the children to practice making a mad face and a fighting face. Verify after each face how it might make friends feel. For example, “Yes, that’s a scary, fighting face. I don’t think your friends would be able to listen to your feelings very easily if you choose that face. Show me your mad face. I think that face would help your friends listen better to your feelings.” www.kimochis.com

81


MAD

CREATE and PRACTICE the Kimochis

Way

Activity 1 What to Say and Do When Friends Don’t Remember to Take Turns “Cloud feels mad when friends forget to take turns. Clap your hands if you feel mad when your friends forget to take turns. I’m going to pretend to be someone who forgets to take turns. Cloud will show us how to use a talking face and voice and helping words when our friends forget to take turns.” Cloud says, “Remember, we take turns.”

Reverse roles so children get immediate practice imitating your model. When children are successful using Cloud, say, “You can’t play” so they can practice this situation without Cloud.

Reverse roles so the children can use Cloud as a puppet and practice saying “Remember, we take turns” when a friend does not take turns fairly.

Activity 4 What to Say and Do if Friends Forget and Push or Grab “Cloud feels mad and sad when his friends forget to use their words and push or grab. Sit on your hands if you feel mad when your friends push or grab instead of remembering to use their helpful words.”

R ep ro du ce

N ot

D o

“Cloud is going to pretend to grab and push, and I’m going to be someone who uses helpful words and a talking face and voice. Watch because it will be your turn soon.” Model the following:

Ex ce rp t

Activity 2 What to Say and Do When Friends Forget to Share “Cloud feels mad when his friends forget to share. Say ‘Yahoo’ if you get mad when friends forget to share with you. I’m going to pretend to be someone who forgets to share with Cloud. Listen to Cloud use his talking face and voice and helpful words.” Cloud says, “Remember, we share.” Reverse roles so children get immediate practice imitating your model. When children are successful using Cloud, pretend not to share so they can practice the situation without Cloud.

Give your children practice saying, “Remember, everybody can play” in response to common ways children tell one another they can’t play, such as “This game is only for girls” or “This game is only for kids who like puppies.”

Activity 3 What to Say and Do When Friends Forget to Let You Play “Cloud feels mad when his friends say he can’t play. Remember at school, everybody can play. Scratch your head if you feel mad when your friends forget to let you play. I’m going to pretend to be someone who forgets the school kindness rule that everybody can play. Listen to Cloud use his talking face and voice and helping words when his friends make him feel mad. Cloud says, ‘Remember, everybody can play.’ ” 82

www.kimochis.com

Grabbing Model Put your hand out, palm up, and say, “Please ask.” When Cloud returns the toy, say, “Thank you” and ask Cloud if he would like to play together. Pushing Model Put your hand up like a stop sign and say, “Don’t.” When Cloud steps back and apologizes, say, “Thank you” and ask Cloud if he would like to play together in the block center. Reverse roles after each show to give children practice. After each show, say, “Remember to make safe choices. Is it safe to push? Is it safe to grab?”


MAD

EXTEND the learning

R ep ro du ce

Language and Literacy (For more information, see pages 265–270.) • When Sophie Gets Angry—Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang • How Are You Peeling? Foods with Moods by Saxton Freymonn and Joost Elffers • The Recess Queen by Alexis O’Neill and • Laura Huliska-Beith

D o

N ot

Artistic Expression Mad-ometer: I Can Be Mad, but I Can’t Be Mean Materials: white poster board, markers, Kimochis ™ Mad feeling sticker, drawing paper, crayons Explain to the children that there are different degrees of feeling mad. They can feel a little mad; medium mad; really, really mad; or pop-your-top mad. Remind them that it is okay to get mad, but it is never okay to be mean. Before the activity, create a giant thermometer to measure mad feelings. Indicate the following levels of feeling mad: • Not mad • A little mad • Really mad • Really, really mad • Pop-your-top mad

Ex ce rp t

TEACHABLE MOMENTS Playground Before going to outdoor play: • Have the children name what sometimes happens that can create mad feelings. “I can feel mad when friends …” • Use Cloud as a puppet to model how to make things better with the communication strategies practiced during Circle Time when friends forget to share, take turns, let others play, push, or grab. • Remind the children that they are pretending so they can practice how to talk with their friends if they feel mad. • Reverse roles so the children can practice what to say and do. Children can use Cloud as a puppet. Remind the children that everyone feels mad sometimes, but there are helpful and kind things to say and do to tell friends you feel mad without hurting their feelings. • Cloud can be a big help for a child who often has a hard time remembering to use a talking face and voice when feeling mad. Ask the child if he would like Cloud to help him with mad feelings. • Let the child tuck the Happy and Mad feeling pillows inside Cloud. Say, “I hope you have happy feelings when you play with your friends, but if anything happens and you feel mad, show me your talking face. Let me hear your talking voice. That’s right, that was your talking face and voice. Now you and Cloud are ready to have fun and will know what to

say and do if you have any mad feelings. When you are done playing, would you be willing to have Cloud tell me how play felt for both of you?”

For More Age-appropriate Activities Refer to the following in the elementary-age “Mad” lesson: Respectful 2 (page 142) Responsible 1, 2, 4 & 5 (pages 142–144) Resilient 1 (page 145) Compassionate and Kind 3 (page 146)

Explain to the children that you are going to hang the “Mad-ometer” in the Kimochis™ Corner so they can learn to catch themselves before they become so mad that they pop their top. Then encourage the children to create drawings of what they look like when they pop their top to place around the “Mad-ometer.”

www.kimochis.com

83


R ep ro du ce N ot D o

Ex ce rp t

–

SILLY KOTOWAZA

For silly to be fun, it has to be fun for everyone. 92

www.kimochis.com


SILLY

KIMOCHIS™ NOTE This Feeling Lesson is meant to be fun! Yes, your students will learn, but consider this lesson your hall pass to simply be silly for the sake of silliness. Some children, however, are more serious in nature, so this lesson can help them learn to better understand and connect with other classmates who run more on the silly side. Huggs is definitely the Kimochis ™ friend who can help children get in touch with how to keep silly fun, and appropriate, and

CONNECT and teach children Emotional Vocabulary Silly, Happy, Kind, Friendly, Guilty, Uncomfortable

Check-in

“What happens inside your body when you feel silly? ‘When I feel silly …’ ” (I get loud; act goofy; use weird voices; say things that don’t make sense).

D o

Ex ce rp t

COMMUNICATE with a Kimochis

N ot

• To recognize when silliness is too much • To understand how and where silly is okay during the school day

• To recognize and manage silly feelings in positive ways • To manage silliness in safe and friendly ways

Opening/Circle Time Introduce Huggs and all her feelings to your class. Read her story and have children relate to how they are like Huggs. Highlight that Huggs loves to be silly.

R ep ro du ce

what to do when it gets to be too much or stops being fun for everyone.

To calm silly feelings, pass Huggs tucked with Silly for the children to hold as they respond to the self-awareness and self-regulation activities below. Use a mirror so each child can see his own “Silly” expression. Self-Awareness “Raise your hand if you like to be silly.” “Show me with your face and body what you look like when you feel silly.” “What are some things that make you feel silly? ‘I feel silly when …’ ”

Self-Regulation Let the children take turns doing a silly dance with Huggs. Let the children know how silly they look. Ask each child who does the silly dance if they can think of a time when it is not helpful to be silly at school. Wrap up by reassuring that for silly to be fun, it has to be fun for everyone, even the teacher. Throughout the week, model how to use the following social and emotional habits. Depending on your group’s attention level, you may only get to only one of the following skills to practice per Circle Time.

www.kimochis.com

93


SILLY

CREATE and PRACTICE the Kimochis

“Do I still like Huggs? Yes, I like Huggs very much, I just don’t like it when she accidentally gets too close/silly/rough.”

N ot

R ep ro du ce

This reminder is extremely important to repeat over and over when children ask friends to stop doing something that bothers them. Young children often think that their friends are saying they don’t like them anymore because of the sound of their voice, the look on their face, or if they stop playing. When a child asks a friend to stop something that is bothersome, have the child be reassuring by asking her friend if he wants to play something else.The child could also ask to take a break from play, but she has to say it in a way that makes her friend feel sure she isn’t saying she doesn’t like him. This social tip will make enormous positive change in your student’s interactions.

Ex ce rp t

Use Huggs as a puppet to roughhouse and model: • Take a step back to make space. (This is so effective and easy to do unless someone is on top of you, which will require tapping their shoulder or back and calling their name in a strong, serious voice.) • Use a talking face and voice and call Huggs’s name. • Ask Huggs to settle down but keep playing “Can we play something different?” or “I like you, but things are getting too silly/rough.”

“What is my face saying to Huggs?” “What is my hand saying to Huggs?” “What is my voice saying to Huggs?”

D o

“For fun to be fun, it has to be fun for everyone. Huggs is going to play too rough and silly with me. Watch what I do with my face, voice, and words to let her know I like her, but her play is too silly or rough.”

Way

Activity 1 Too Silly and/or Rough “Huggs likes to play rough and get really silly, but what do you think can happen by accident when she gets too rough or silly?” (Friends get hurt.)

Reverse roles so the children can practice telling Huggs she is playing too rough. Activity 2 Catch Yourself When You Are Too Silly “Huggs needs your help noticing when silliness is too much. She needs to catch herself when she accidentally gets too silly and she sees and hears that silly is not fun for everyone.”

Ask a child to use Huggs as a puppet and play too silly and rough with you as you pretend to be a child. Use your face and voice to indicate how unhappy you are about the silliness. Call “Freeze” and ask the child holding Huggs and your class:

94

www.kimochis.com

Now take Huggs and be really silly with the children so you can read the social cues and model how to say, “Sorry I was too silly/rough. Do you want to play something else?” Reverse roles so the children can practice reading the social cues to realize their silly feelings are too much and to change the action. Activity 3 Too Distracting “Some people feel frustrated when they are concentrating and listening and a friend wants to talk or play. If you sometimes feel frustrated when you are listening and cooperating in school and a friend is trying to get you to play, clap your hands. Sometimes Huggs gets too excited, so she is a


SILLY friend who needs you to give her the signal that it is not time to play.” Have a child hold Huggs and distract you while you are concentrating. • Do not make eye contact. • Put your hand up between the two of you as if to say, “Please stop.” • Make eye contact but do not smile. Shake your head “no,” as if to say, “I can play at recess but not now.”

you as you pretend to be a child who is distracting during lesson time. After each show, talk about how everyone likes each other but they do not like being distracted from learning. Play is fun at recess but not during learning time. For More Age-appropriate Activities Refer to the following in the elementary-age “Silly” lesson: Resilient 1 (page 179) Compassionate and Kind 2 (page 180)

R ep ro du ce

Reverse roles and give children practice using Huggs as a puppet or acting the situation out with

EXTEND the learning

N ot

D o

Artistic Expression Kimochis ™ Silly Hat Materials: paper plates, scissors, glue, crepe paper, sequins, Kimochis ™ stickers, glitter, pipe cleaners (add anything else you can think of to encourage creativity and silliness) Before the activity, cut the center out of the paper plates so the “hats” will fit on the children’s heads. Explain to the children that silly can be fun, so they are going to make silly hats.

Ex ce rp t

Have the children act this out so you can use Huggs as a puppet to make things better with the communication strategies they practiced during Circle Time.

Language and Literacy (For more information, see pages 265–270.) • David Goes to School by David Shannon • Today I Feel Silly; And Other Moods That Make My Day by Jamie Lee Curtis • The Napping House by Audrey Woods

TEACHABLE MOMENTS: Before Lesson Time or Playtime Prior to learning or playtime, have children talk about how silliness could make learning challenging or playtime no fun.

Reverse roles so the children can practice what to say and do when friends get too silly or are silly at the wrong time. Children can act this out on their own or choose to use Huggs as a puppet. Remind the children that silly is fun, but it has to be fun for everyone and it has to be the appropriate time for silliness.

Encourage each child to create a silly hat. When they are finished, have a hat show to acknowledge individualism, creativity, and the joy of being silly.

www.kimochis.com

95


Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


Teaching the Feeling Lessons for Elementary School

R ep ro du ce

N ot

Ex ce rp t

You can pick and choose the social and emotional learning experiences that best fit the needs of your children. For example, if students keep returning from recess feeling left out, it will be relevant for you to respond to your students by providing your class with the Left Out Feeling Lesson at your next Class Meeting.

D o

The FEELING LESSONS FORMAT Each Kimochis ™ Feeling Lesson follows the same format, which you and your students will quickly pick up.

moments in positive ways. Use each kotowaza to encourage positive friendship and appropriate ways of interacting. They can also be used to: • Give a friendly, playful reminder to all students during emotional moments. • Encourage students to look for times during the school day when a kotowaza might guide a positive behavior choice. • Inspire positive ways to behave in the world. Choosing to be respectful, responsible, resilient, and compassionate and kind when having upset feelings makes a difference in the world. • Extend the activity. Have students work in groups to create a poster or banner to showcase their favorite kotowaza. They might even make up their own! The Kimochis ™ Corner is a great place to hang the proverbs. (For information on the Kimochis ™ Corner, see page 47.) • Develop vocabulary and higher-level language skills. Have students search for a favorite quote or have families create a poster showcasing their “Family Kotowaza”—a favorite quote they strive to live by.

GETTING STARTED THE Kimochis ™ WAY You should have already introduced the Kimochis ™ characters and feeling pillows. You have also worked through the Keys to Communication. Your classroom is turning into a Kimochis ™ Classroom—you are ready to get going with the Feeling Lessons!

Note The Mad Feeling Lesson teaches very important self-awareness and self-regulation concepts that students will use to make good decisions when they are having upset feelings. This is a good lesson to do early on; however, you will need to stretch it over the course of a week. It might be most effective to start with a fun Feeling Lesson, such as Happy, to get your students accustomed to the lesson pattern. KOTOWAZA Each lesson is paired with a kotowaza. Explain to your class that a kotowaza is a Japanese proverb. A Kimochis ™ Kotowaza is a saying to help remind students how to handle emotional

CONNECT and Teach Children Communication goals and outcomes are provided in the Connect section of each Feeling Lesson. Go to www.kimochis.com for suggestions on how to align these goals with national standards. Suggestions for individual education plan (IEP) goals are additionally provided for special educators at www.kimochis.com.

www.kimochis.com

119


R ep ro du ce

Role-plays should follow this general sequence: • Teacher models “real-life “situations. • Students repeat teacher model. • Students problem-solve “What other things could you do?” • Students volunteer to create a show. • Students practice in role plays to learn the new skills.

N ot

Tips on creating successful shows: • Model using a calm tone of voice, relaxed body language, and helpful words to convey a message. Have students imitate you. • Have student volunteers demonstrate other ways to handle emotional moments. • Students often have fun doing a show the wrong way first. “Negative practice” can be a positive way to help kids learn what NOT to do in real life. It’s also fun and effective to tell your students after a negative show, “Do NOT try this at home or at school if you want to have any friends.” • Create small groups so students can practice rehearsing a moment. Ask volunteer groups to show what they have practiced to the rest of the class.

Ex ce rp t

Activities in the Create and Practice section of each lesson are grouped by how they support students to be respectful, responsible, resilient, and compassionate and kind during emotional moments. Role-plays or shows are at the heart of the lessons. Real-life scenarios are provided, and your class will create shows so students can plan and practice what to say and do in emotional moments. This will help them be prepared to make positive choices in real life. A shortcut outline to the skills addressed is featured in green to help you quickly choose the right activities for your class. Enhancements for students with social-emotional challenges are in blue.

Remember, some students may prefer to learn through observation. Let children know that watching and listening is also an important way to participate.

D o

CREATE and PRACTICE The Keys to Kimochis ™ Communication that are most vital to understanding and managing each feeling are outlined in the Appendix. See page 261 for tips and techniques for coaching the keys with the Feeling Lessons.

have students redo the moment to show how to handle it the Kimochis ™ Way, monitoring their tone of voice and face and using helping words.

COMMUNiCATE at Class Meeting Sit in a circle and use the suggested scripts to get students talking and thinking about a specific feeling. This is a Kimochis ™ or feeling check-in. Check-ins will help students develop greater emotional self-awareness and help them take other’s feelings into consideration. The communication goal is always to choose and regulate tone of voice, body language, words, and actions that will help students feel connected rather than disconnected during emotional situations.

Set up role-plays to practice what to say and do in common routines that create upset feelings (when someone does not take turns, bosses, grabs, pushes, cuts in line). When students report upsetting interactions, invite them to put on shows so you can see what might have happened. After the show, ask students if they know what to say and do if the upset ever happens again. Then 120

www.kimochis.com

COMMITMENT TO CHARACTER Class Commitment Wrap up a Class Meeting by creating a class commitment or agreement for how the class will choose to behave in an emotional moment. For example, following a lesson, you can ask, “Because of this lesson, what can we agree upon that will make our classroom


Check-in with students on their personal commitments to see how they are doing. If any commitments seem challenging, help students practice the Keys to Kimochis ™ Communication and the Feeling Lesson activities.

SCHEDULing Create a regular Kimochis ™ Class Meeting time or day when students get to practice understanding and managing emotions so they can make good decisions that will foster getting along with others and doing their best academically. Most elementarylevel students can successfully focus on a Feeling Lesson for 30 minutes at a time because the lessons are full of interactive activities.

Ex ce rp t

Kimochis ™ Journals Help students write or draw their commitment in their Kimochis ™ Journals. If students wish, they can share their plans with the class. (Additional suggestions for how to use the Kimochis ™ Journals are provided on page 50.)

R ep ro du ce

“What one action will help me do my best in school (using strategies I have just learned)?”

N ot

“What one action will help me be a better friend (using strategies I have just learned)?”

Acknowledge Positive Choices When you witness students’ natural communication gifts or students practicing the communication habits from the lessons, it is supportive to give a nonverbal signal to say, “I see what you’re doing and I admire you.” Or say something that names what you appreciate. Scripts for reinforcing the positive choices your student make are provided. You will also have a natural way to connect and guide positive choices that works for you.

D o

Personal Commitment Encourage students to make a commitment to act with character in real life.This commitment to character will help each student personalize the lesson by choosing an action to make the biggest difference in positive relationships and academic success. Help students choose their commitment by ending each lesson with these two meaningful questions.

the dictionary than positive words, which is a crystal clear illustration of this important point. This is a reminder to find a balance and name and acknowledge the positive along with guiding positive choices for handling upset emotion.

a safer and kinder place for all of us to work and play in together?” Sample commitment: “When we are upset, we will agree that it is never okay to yell. When we yell, we agree to redo the moment.

Share Giving students the opportunity to share specific stories of feeling moments with their classmates will help to foster a strong, and caring, classroom community. Guide Positive Behavior You will also find suggested scripts for ways you can help guide positive behaviors or acknowledge positive choices. Interestingly, our brains are wired to correct and fix rather than notice when people behave in ways we appreciate. In fact, there are far more negative words to express emotion in

FLEXIBILITY The Kimochis ™ Feel Guide: Teacher’s Edition is designed to be used with complete flexibility. You choose the what, when, and how of the lessons to fit into your daily or weekly schedule. • Choose the Feeling Lessons most relevant to your current class or playground issues. • Open each Feeling Lesson with the COMMUNICATE section, then choose the activities you like best. • Ask your students which feelings most challenge them and focus on those first. • Stretch out lessons over the course of a week or complete an entire feeling in a day. • Practice in small groups, one-on-one, or as a whole class. www.kimochis.com

121


R ep ro du ce

N ot

Families will appreciate you checking in with them in this way to see how their child is feeling about school and informing them of new developments you’ve implemented there.

D o

Kimochis TV • Use a video camera to capture the shows for children to watch just for fun. All educators know that this kind of fun can lead to more learning. Just like an athlete learns to perfect her skill by watching herself swing, run, or throw, children can learn to improve communication skills by seeing themselves in action. • You might email videos to parents for a quick way for families to see and hear what you are teaching. • For more ideas on how to use videos, see pages 241–243.

Ex ce rp t

Home Link Educators know that when home and school are in sync, learning happens rapidly. Some teachers, however, prefer to try out new programs for a test period before letting parents or others know about it. This can be an effective way to go slow and let the positive results of your work speak for you. Parents and other teachers will notice changes in students’ behavior and then ask you what you are doing to cause the shift. When you are ready to establish a strong homeschool link for the Kimochis ™ vocabulary and Feeling Lessons, visit www.kimochis.com for sample form letters to send home and suggested home activities. You will also find a sample letter to parents in the Appendix (page 274).

• Open your school day with a feeling activity. • For younger students, do feeling activities at calendar time to support the emotional climate of your classroom. • Invite your school counselor or speechlanguage pathologist to collaborate with you. They can target students on their caseloads as well as students you are concerned about but who don’t qualify for services. • Give parent helpers, classroom aides, or student teachers activities to run with small groups that need to focus on a particular social skill. • Invite older students in your school to help lead the Feeling Lessons and give perspective on how they still need to practice these communication skills.

122

www.kimochis.com


www.kimochis.com

123

Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


R ep ro du ce N ot D o

Ex ce rp t

MAD KOTOWAZA

It’s okay to be mad, but it’s not okay to be mean. 140

www.kimochis.com


MAD KIMOCHIS™ NOTE Feeling angry is a natural and appropriate reaction to many of the experiences your students encounter every day. This Feeling Lesson will teach your students how to recognize and effectively manage mad feelings so they can express anger without being hurtful. Girls generally learn language and mature faster than boys. It is imperative that parents and educators understand this biological difference because when a child is feeling emotional and does not have command of the language, he often goes “primitive” to communicate upset feelings (e.g., yelling, hitting, pushing, grabbing). When a student is physical, we need to ask ourselves, “What emotion(s) does Joey need help expressing?” Anger is usually at the top of the list. Therefore, telling a student to “Use your words” is not effective because many students do not have the words in their vocabulary and certainly cannot retrieve the correct words when feeling upset emotions. Learning these communication skills at an early age will improve students’

R ep ro du ce

ability to delay gratification, manage not getting their way, cooperate with challenging people, practice tolerance and patience, and know how to respond when people express anger in nonpeaceful ways. At a time when school and community violence appears to be on the rise, teaching students to effectively understand and manage anger has to be a top priority.

N ot

CONNECT and teach children

• To redo mad moments and recover after making communication mistakes • To listen and problem-solve others’ mad feelings

Ex ce rp t

D o

• To recognize mad feelings • To cool down and keep a positive connection • To become aware of the words and actions that can create mad feelings

COMMUNICATE with a Kimochis

Sitting in a circle, place Cloud in the center with Mad tucked inside. Invite the class communicator to reveal the feeling tucked inside Cloud. “Raise your hand if you ever feel mad. Everyone has mad feelings now and then, and it’s okay it be mad— even really, really mad. But it is never okay to be mean with your face, voice, words, or actions.”

Self-Awareness “Show me what you look like when you’re mad.” “What makes you feel mad?” (Have older students write their responses on strips of paper. Save for Responsible Activity 3 on page 143.)

Check-in “What happens inside your body when you feel mad? ‘When I feel mad, …’” (my heart races; my breathing speeds up; I feel hot). For students with social-emotional challenges, create a Feeling Chart (page 61). Students will be able to brainstorm many ideas for the looks like, sounds like and feels like inside columns.

Self-Regulation/Mood Management “What are things you say or do when you’re mad that you might regret, or feel bad about?” (hit, yell, grab, say mean words). “What happens when you let your body do the wrong thing, like yell, grab, or say hurtful words?” www.kimochis.com

141


MAD

CREATE and PRACTICE the Kimochis

Way

See page 261 for a reminder of the most important Keys to Communication for managing this emotion.

RESPECTFUL Activity 1 Cool Down Mad Feelings practice Cooling down before speaking Thinking before speaking

Materials: Cloud, Mad Sit in a circle. “When I pass you the Mad feeling, share one way you try to calm yourself down when you feel mad. ‘It helps when I am mad if I …’ ” (take a breath; think before I speak; say I feel mad; take a walk).

Many students with social-emotional challenges struggle to control their anger. It may help students to visualize a stop sign in their minds as a way to stop themselves from doing or saying something unwise. To help them visualize, make a simple red stop sign that you hold up as they practice the sentences listed above.

BE Responsible The following communication activities will help students be responsible when expressing or listening to mad feelings. RESPONSIBLE Activity 1 Talking Face and Voice: “Tell, Don’t Yell”

R ep ro du ce

BE RESPECTFUL The following communication activities will help students be respectful when they feel mad.

practice Self-awareness and tone of voice and volume regulation

A talking voice is relaxed and quiet.

For students with social-emotional challenges, give lots of examples of “calm down” strategies. Some students may need a Calming Strategies card (page 63) as a reminder.

N ot

A talking face is smiling with wide open eyes. A fighting face is pinched, mean, and scary.

D o

“See if you can tell the difference between a talking face and voice and a fighting face and voice.” Demonstrate the difference by saying each of the following words with either a fighting voice and face or a talking voice and face: “Stop!” “Hey!” “Move.” Have your students guess which one you use for each word.

Ex ce rp t

RESPECTFUL Activity 2 Warn People How You Feel Materials: Cloud Sit in a circle. “Cloud has to be careful not to snap or be mean when he feels mad. Snapping means saying or doing something you’ll regret. It helps Cloud to think before he speaks and to give a warning if he’s about to thunder and rain on others. Let’s practice warning people! I will go first, and when I pass Cloud to you, you can practice.”

A fighting voice is loud and abrupt.

Hold Cloud and take the first turn modeling words your students can use to help them cool down and/or warn others when they are too angry to speak respectfully.

“Which voice is easier to listen to? Which voice would calm people down? When we feel upset, remember: Tell, don’t yell.” For students with social-emotional challenges, use Enhancement Strategy #2 (page 61) to help them really see the difference between the talking face/tone of voice and the fighting face/tone of voice. Remind students that they need to pay attention to both the facial expression and the tone of voice of the speaker.

“I’m so mad right now, I better not talk until I cool down”; “Let me cool down a bit because I am really mad”; “You don’t want to come near me because I am so mad.” Talking Face 142

www.kimochis.com

Fighting Face


MAD RESPONSIBLE Activity 2 Sending an “I Mean It” Message Without Being Mean

RESPONSIBLE Activity 3 Helping vs. Fighting Words practice Monitoring tone of voice when mad Choosing helpful words

practice Being assertive

R ep ro du ce

For students with social-emotional challenges, write a Social Narrative (see page 63) to assist in choosing helpful words.

Ex ce rp t

Using Cloud, demonstrate and then take turns turning up the seriousness when someone doesn’t listen.

N ot

Demonstrate on Cloud how to tap shoulder, call name, and use a slow rate of speech, volume, and serious voice. Shoulder tap. “Cloud (pause), please stop tapping your pencil.”

Have students take turns pulling situations from Cloud’s pouch and acting them out with fighting words. “Let’s act it out the wrong way so we learn what NOT to do.” For older students, it can be fun to say, “DO NOT try this at home or school if you want to have friends.” Redo the situations with helpful words and a talking face and voice. “How does it feel when you use helping words instead of fighting words?”

D o

Demonstrate how to widen eyes to look serious and like you mean it. Have students imitate.

Materials: Strips of paper from “Self-Awareness” section (page 141), tucked inside Cloud’s pouch “When you are mad, it’s important to be careful about the words you choose to use. There’s a big difference between helping words and fighting words. Here are some examples … do you have any to add?” Write on board.

Materials: Cloud “Have you ever used a calm but strong talking face and voice and found that friends did not respect your words or listen to you (for example, you ask a classmate nicely to stop tapping a pencil and he doesn’t stop)? This is when it’s time to ‘turn up the seriousness, not the meanness’ in order to be heard.The best way to do this is with our face and our voice.”

First attempt: Gentle shoulder tap, call person’s name, pause, and then say what you need. Tap. “Cloud (pause), I need you to stop tapping your pencil. Thank you.” Second attempt: “I asked you to stop nicely.”

Third attempt: “I asked you twice nicely to stop. Am I going to have to get the teacher?” For students with social-emotional challenges, it might be helpful to remind them to say what they need in these situations. It is easy for students to blame others (starting their sentences with “you” rather than “I”).

Fighting Words

Helping Words

“You cheated.”

“The rule is …”

“move!”

“Can you please give me more space? Thanks.”

“Liar!”

“That’s not how I heard it.”

“That’s not fair!”

“It’s more fun when everyone plays fair.”

“Tattletale!”

“I wish you would come to me before you go to the teacher.”

“You’re not my friend anymore.”

“I am really mad at you.”

Serious Face www.kimochis.com

143


MAD Responsible Activity 5 Do the RIGHT Thing When Someone Does the WRONG Thing

Responsible Activity 4 Catch It, Own It, and Redo It practice Apologizing for and redoing communication mistakes such as pushing, grabbing, or yelling

R ep ro du ce

Pretend Cloud pushed you. Take a step back, put your palm up like a stop sign close to your body, and say with a serious voice, “Don’t push me.” Say “Thanks” when the person stops. Pretend Cloud yelled at you. Use a quiet voice and pause after calling the person’s name so the person can realize that he yelled. “Cloud (pause), you’re yelling at me.”

“When you redo a moment, you may still be mad, but instead of snapping, you’ll choose a more positive way to use your face, voice, or words to express your mad feelings.”

Pretend Cloud grabbed your pencil. Widen your eyes, step back, and put out your hand in a friendly way for Cloud to place the object in. Use a slow, serious, calm voice to say, “Cloud (pause), please give it back. Thanks.”

N ot

Pretend Cloud took your pencil without asking. Yell at him in a mean way. “Hey! Why did you steal my pencil? You thief!” Then start over by quickly owning the moment and redoing it. “Oops. I am sorry I yelled. That’s my pencil. May I please have it back?”

Materials: Cloud “If someone is mean to you and does NOT redo the moment, what do we do? It is easy to be kind when others are kind. It takes a person of very strong character to be kind when someone is not kind. Let’s practice what to do if we are pushed, yelled at, or grabbed.”

D o

Materials: Cloud “Even though we have already learned so many skills for handling mad feelings, there might be times when we slip up or make a mistake in a mad moment. Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes can be fixed! So now we are going to practice how to catch ourselves, quickly take responsibility for or own our mistake, and redo the moment.”

practice Letting go of grudges Responding when someone pushes, grabs, or yells

Ex ce rp t

Put students in pairs to practice yelling, pushing, or saying mean words and then redoing the moment. For example, if you pushed you would quickly have to say, “I’m sorry I pushed you. I hope you can forgive me. I’m just so mad because (name reason).” To wrapup, create an agreement on what to say and do when you see a student or classmate who needs to redo a mad moment. “You can be mad, but …” A simple, quiet “Ouch … can you try that again?”

144

www.kimochis.com

Students with social-emotional challenges can visualize a stop sign in these situations to assist them in saying and doing the right thing. While you practice these shows, hold up the stop sign and remind students to stop and think about what they could do next that would be helpful rather than hurtful.


MAD BE Resilient The following communication activity will help students be resilient when expressing or listening to mad feelings. Resilient Activity 1 Positive Self-Talk Scripts

BE Compassionate and Kind The following communication activities will help students develop compassionate and kind responses when listening to others’ mad feelings. Compassionate and Kind Activity 1 Say or Do Something Kind

practice Moving through mad feelings using positive self-talk

practice Noticing others’ mad feelings Acting thoughtfully and supportively Accepting or declining support with kindness

Self-talk is what we say in our heads to ourselves. Positive self-talk makes us

R ep ro du ce

Demonstrate what it looks and sounds like to respond unkindly when Cloud offers comfort and support (“Leave me alone!”). Then demonstrate the right way to ask Cloud for space when he offers to help (“Thanks, I just want to be alone”). Have students practice both the wrong and the right way with Cloud.

Ex ce rp t

“You aren’t mad anymore because you’ve bounced back instead of getting stuck in your mad feelings! One way we can help ourselves bounce back is with self-talk. Self-talk is what we say in our heads to ourselves (write definition on board). Negative self-talk sounds like, ‘I can’t do it’ or ‘No one likes me’ and can make us feel really bad. Positive self-talk is an important skill. What are some positive things you can say to yourself when you feel mad?” Write on the board. Examples:

N ot

“Raise your hand if you can remember a time in the past when you were mad. Keep your hand up if you still feel mad about that situation.” Ask students who put hands down why they don’t feel mad anymore.

Materials: Cloud “What can you do if you see someone is upset?” Write responses on the board.“Let’s practice kindness when Cloud is mad.” Demonstrate how to move toward Cloud in a kind, caring way and ask, “What is wrong?” Let students have a turn. “Sometimes people don’t want help when they are mad. Sometimes people just want to be alone. Raise your hand if you like to be alone when you are mad. It’s okay to feel this way. What do we need to remember when we ask our friends for alone time or space?” (e.g., use a talking voice and face).

D o

talk doesn’t.

feel good about things. Negative self-

“I have been mad before and I got through it.” “It’s okay, everyone makes mistakes.” “I can work this out.” “Feelings come and go.”

For students with social-emotional challenges, use Enhancement Strategy #5 (page 62). Instead of using a thinking bubble and a speaking bubble, draw two thinking bubbles—one for negative self-talk and one for positive self-talk. Students can fill-in what they would say for each bubble. Make it even more meaningful by crossing out the negative bubble and leaving the positive self-talk bubble as a cue. Use the Kimochis™ Journal or a small card for this activity.

Compassionate & Kind Activity 2 Using Courage and Compassion to Listen to Mad Feelings practice Using courage to maintain eye contact, listen, and own mistakes that created mad feelings

Materials: Cloud “Sometimes it’s hard when friends or family get mad at us. When someone is mad, should we (demonstrate) look away? Plug our ears? Walk away? Change the subject? Blame someone www.kimochis.com

145


MAD else? When good friends and family get mad at each other, they still love each other. When someone is mad, we need to listen to why they feel mad and see if we can do anything to make things better.”

with tenderness can make hurtful situations better right away.

Demonstrate how to listen to a friend who is mad. Have a student act out with Cloud and tell you, “I am so mad you stole my pencil!” Model not interrupting. “You’re right, I’m sorry, Cloud. Is there more you want to tell me?” Point out to students that you are using a friendly face, eye contact, and a friendly voice. Reverse roles and have students practice.

COMMITMENT to character

R ep ro du ce

N ot

Guide Positive Behavior When your students need a little extra help, give them some tips: • “You can be mad, but you can’t be mean. Start again and tell Franklin why you feel mad.” • “Use your talking face and voice so I can listen and understand why you are feeling mad.” • “Remember to tell, not yell.”

Ex ce rp t

Materials: Cloud “Sometimes when people feel really mad, they say hurtful things that aren’t true. We call these ‘big mean things that aren’t true.’ Let’s make a list of some big mean things.” Write these on board. Examples: You’re not my friend anymore; I hate you; You’re not invited to my birthday party.

“What one action will help you recognize mad feelings? What one action will help you listen to and problem-solve others’ feelings?”

D o

practice Responding to hurtful anger in a calm, kind way Seeking to understand why someone is mad even when they yell or say hurtful words

Personal Commitment Have students record in their Kimochis ™ Journals their positive commitment to choosing one action they learned about mad feelings that will improve relationships and school performance.

Compassionate AND Kind Activity 3 Choosing Compassion and Kindness

For students with social-emotional challenges, make a poster that says “No Big Mean Things in Our Classroom!” Put a big red international NO symbol through it, hang it up, and refer to it when needed.

“Raise your hand if someone has said one of these things to you. How did that make you feel? Let’s agree as a class to avoid saying big mean things. If someone says one to us, let’s choose to act with kindness. I’ll demonstrate with Cloud.” Have a student act out with Cloud and tell you, “You’re not my friend anymore.” Gently respond, “Are you mad?” or “Did I do something?” Have Cloud say, “I’m sorry … I’m just feeling mad.” Have students practice responding when Cloud says a big, mean thing. Point out that responding

146

www.kimochis.com

Acknowledge Positive Choices When you catch your students making positive choices, praise them: • “You make it easy to listen to mad feelings.” • “You’re careful to be mad without being mean.”

HOME LINK Go to www.kimochis.com for more information, letters to parents, and activities you can share with your students’ families to help them build respect, responsibility, resiliency, and compassion/ kindness when dealing with mad feelings at home.


R ep ro du ce

Ex ce rp t

–

D o

N ot

PHOTO

www.kimochis.com

147


R ep ro du ce N ot D o

Ex ce rp t

–

SILLY KOTOWAZA

For silly to be fun, it has to be fun for everyone. 174

www.kimochis.com


SILLY

KIMOCHIS™ NOTE Kids often express happiness by being silly. Silly feelings are typically loud, active, and unstructured. Let’s face it, silly feelings can be frustrating to educators! Academics take concentration, cooperation, discipline, and hard work. As academic expectations for our children skyrocket, educators find themselves needing (or at least feeling a need) to take the silly and fun out of the day. But this Feeling Lesson is intended to help put some silliness and fun back into the classroom. It will also teach your students how to quickly go from being silly to being more serious so that you can have fun and still reach your academic goals. Some important points to consider about gender differences. Boys: Silly, rough-and-tumble play is a way for many boys to say, “I like you. Let’s be friends.” Silliness or silly voices can help boys guard against social rejection. If someone rejects

R ep ro du ce

you when you are being silly, you can save face and say, “I was just being silly” or “Just kidding.” Some boys are willing to get in trouble for being silly because they gain an enormous amount of satisfaction and self-esteem from entertaining

their peers. Boys often use silliness to mask or cover up uncomfortable feelings like fear, embarrassment, and sadness. girls: Girls often use baby voices as a way to find their own inner voices. Silly voices can help girls guard against

social rejection. If someone rejects you when you are being silly, you can save face and say, “I was just being silly” or “Just kidding.” Girls do not usually get sucked into long periods of silliness the way boys do. Boys often don’t understand when

N ot

girls quickly change from “I like this game” to “I’m done with this game.”To top it off, boys often get in trouble after playing too silly or rough with girls who initially gave signals they were having fun but then all of a sudden say, “I’m telling!”

D o

For older students, you may want to replace the word “silly” with the words “wild” and “hyper.” It is more common for

Ex ce rp t

those in fourth grade and higher to say, “I feel hyper or wild” than it is to say, “I feel silly.”

CONNECT and teach children

• To respect others’ boundaries • To assume good intentions when friends are too overbearing • To code switch from silly to more serious

• To stay focused and not get distracted by silly feelings • To make sure silliness is fun for everyone and not at the expense of others

www.kimochis.com

175


SILLY

COMMUNICATE with a Kimochis

Check-in

Materials: music, Huggs, Silly Before the activity, tuck the Silly feeling pillow into Huggs’s pouch and put on some music. Tell your class,“This is a no talking game.We’re going to toss Huggtopus around. We need to make sure everyone gets a turn to hold Huggs and no one holds her more than once.” When the last student is holding Huggtopus, ask her to reach inside and reveal the feeling of the day.

Self-Regulation/Mood Management “What are some things that make you feel silly? ‘I feel silly when …’ ” List examples on the board. “What happens inside your body when you feel silly? ‘When I feel silly …’ ” (I get loud; act goofy; use weird voices; say things that don’t make sense).

Self-Awareness “Who likes to feel silly?”

Share and allow students to ponder the meaning of the kotowaza: For silly to be fun, it has to be fun for everyone.

R ep ro du ce

“Can silliness ever annoy others? How? When? Where?”

“Show me with your face and body what you look like when you feel silly.”

CREATE and PRACTICE the Kimochis

Way

D o

For students with social-emotional challenges, make a Feeling Chart (page 61) to show what our bodies look like, sound like, and feel like when we get silly.

N ot

“We are going to learn where, when, and how to enjoy silliness so that we can put more fun into our school day. We will also practice switching out of silliness so that fun doesn’t distract us from learning.”

Ex ce rp t

BE RESPECTFUL The following communication activities will help students be respectful of others when feeling silly.

See page 262 for a reminder of the most important Keys to Communication for managing this emotion.

RESPECTFUL Activity 1 Musical Kimochis ™

practice Self-awareness and regulation

Materials: music, Huggtopus, Silly, Excited, Happy Turn on music and allow the students to quickly pass/toss Silly, Excited, and Happy to one another. When you stop the music, see who is holding the feelings. Ask the students with the feelings one of the following questions. Then go another round so many students get a turn.

176

www.kimochis.com

“I get this feeling when …” “This feeling can sometimes get me in trouble because I …” “The best part of this feeling is …”

“The hardest part about this feeling is …” “I can accidentally annoy people if I … ”

Give the prompt: “When I am feeling silly, I have to be careful not to …” (get too loud; bother others; get too rough with others). “If someone is getting too silly with you, here’s what you can do without hurting feelings.” Demonstrate the following strategies: 1. Shake your head “no” while giving a smile. That says, “I like you, but don’t do that.”


SILLY Say “Stop, don’t” or “Hey” in a casual but clear tone and then say “Thanks.” (Make sure your facial expression is neutral or friendly.) Put students in pairs to practice. “When do you think you might use this habit? Could it help you at school or at home? How?” RESPECTFUL Activity 2 Bring Yourself Back practice Settling down Self-control is when you can bring yourself back to focus and settle down.

“Why do you think we played this game? How would our classroom be different if everyone could get really good at using self-control to come back from silly moments?” Help students with social-emotional challenges choose a phrase to think of when they need to stop being silly. Write some options on the board. Place one in a “thinking bubble” to remind students to think the phrase and not say it out loud. Examples: “I can stop myself” or “(Say my name) slow down.”

BE RESPONSIBLE The following communication activities will help students be responsible for managing silly feelings so they make positive learning choices.

R ep ro du ce

2. 3.

RESPONSIBLE Activity 1 Red Light and Green Light Friends

Materials: Kimochis ™ characters and feeling pillows “What is self-control? Self-control means, ‘I can get my body to do the right thing even when I don’t want to. I can bring myself back from silliness and calm down.’ Raise your hand if you find it challenging to settle down when you are having fun and feeling silly.”

N ot

Red light friends distract you.

D o

Green light friends do not distract.

Materials: Huggtopus “We are going to implement a new tool that will help you make positive choices when you get to choose who you want to work with. Red light friends are very distracting for you and make it hard for you to do your best work. Green light friends are not distracting for you so you can do your best work. You like both your red and green light friends, but green light friends are the best choice for learning.”

Ex ce rp t

“In this game, you can use all the Kimochis™ characters and feelings to be silly. When you hear me clap twice, you must immediately use self-control by making your body stop being silly and FREEZE. If you can’t get your body to settle down and FREEZE, then you are out and can join me clapping twice.”The game is over when remaining students have used self-control for several rounds.”

practice Making choices that support learning

“If you got out of the game quickly, why do you think this happened?” “For those of you who stayed in the game, how do you control yourself when you are having fun and being silly?” Keep bringing the conversation back to how students need to make good choices with their bodies even when they are not in the mood.

Use Huggtopus as a way to explain that red light friends aren’t bad friends or bad people. “Huggtopus is a red light friend with almost everyone. She’s silly and exuberant, and she has a hard time containing herself. Does this mean Huggtopus is bad? No, it just means she has to work on self-control. All of us have a little bit of Huggtopus inside of us. Some of us are more like www.kimochis.com

177


SILLY her than others. Red light friends often bring out the Huggs in us.” Now play a new version of the game Red Light Green Light. “When I say ‘Green light,’ shout out names of students who would be good choices to sit near.” Not everyone will say the same names. “When I call ‘Red light,’ shout out names of students who might be distracting for you.” (Shouting out in unison keeps this game fun and shame-free.)

friendly eyes and voice, hold your hand up between you and the classmate, and simply say, “That’s a little too close.” When Huggtopus moves back to give you space, smile and thank her so she knows you still like her. Ask students: “What did I do with my face that made you sure I still liked you?” (Friendly eyes and smile.) “What did I do with my voice that made you sure I still liked you?” (You didn’t sound mean or yell.)

To wrap up, students who wish can bravely name students they know they get silly with. Public acknowledgements help some students remember to make better choices down the road. And all you have to say to guide your students is, “I see two red light friends sitting near each other.” (Reassure students that red light friends like each other so much that they can’t keep focused on the lesson.)

R ep ro du ce

D o

N ot

“Why did you want to move and give me more room?” (Because you asked nicely.)

Reverse roles so students can practice using a kind, shame-free way to let Huggtopus know she is too close. Ask your students why it makes a difference that they use a friendly face and voice when asking for more space. (It makes others know that you like them; it doesn’t make them feel sad or scared.)

Ex ce rp t

practice Respectfully asking for space

“Why did I say thanks?” (To make sure the person knows we are still friends.)

RESPONSIBLE Activity 2 Oops,You’re Too Close

“What did I do with my hand that let you know I needed more room?” (Held it up in a stop position gently.)

Materials: Huggtopus Animate Huggtopus to be wiggly and giggly and happily invading students’ space in an overly friendly way. Call “Freeze.” Ask students how the “space invading” felt. Some students will talk about not liking it when Huggs was all over them. “Do you think Huggtopus was trying to annoy people? Or was she just excited, silly, and getting carried away? Raise your hand if you sometimes get silly like Huggs. Nod your head if you’ve noticed it can bother people.” Have students use Huggtopus as a puppet to invade your personal space. Show how to keep a positive connection with Huggtopus by using

178

www.kimochis.com

Students with social-emotional challenges who have sensory sensitivities can become overwhelmed when their personal space is invaded. They may benefit from having one sentence memorized to use when someone gets too close to them. They may need repeated practice using the script in different social settings. The script should be short, assertive, and easy to understand like “May I have some space, please?” or “Please give me some space.”


SILLY BE RESILIENT The following communication activities will help students be resilient when friends bother them with silliness.

practice Reading nonverbal signals to keep play positive

“In that last activity, we practiced what to say and do if you want a game to change or be less silly, wild, or rough. In this activity, we are going to practice getting into the habit of looking for signals or clues that what we are doing and saying is no longer fun for everyone.” “When a friend thinks your play is too silly or rough, what might his face look like?” (scared, mad, hurt, uncomfortable, sad).

Ex ce rp t

After each of the volunteers speaks, respond with “For fun to be fun, it has to be fun for everyone.” Then after the last volunteer, again say, “For fun to be fun, it has to be fun for everyone. Why do I keep repeating this?” (Just because you’re having fun, it’s not okay to bother or hurt others.)

R ep ro du ce

“I need six volunteers. Each one of you will grab a feeling and tell the class how this feeling could make a game go from fun to not fun. For example, I picked Silly. It’s not fun when someone gets overly silly. Overly silly can get annoying.”

RESILIENT Activity 2 Are You Still Having Fun?

N ot

Materials: Mad, Frustrated, Silly, Excited, Scared, Left Out, Sad Sit in a circle and place the feeling pillows in the center. “Sometimes friends can be having fun, and then all of a sudden one person doesn’t like the game anymore. Give me a head nod if you know what I am talking about.”

“Let’s practice. I need a volunteer to get wild and silly with me by roughhousing. When it gets to be too much, I will use one of the scripts to let you know that I like you, but I don’t want to roughhouse anymore.” Reverse roles so students can practice. Then put two students together to play both roles.

D o

practice Changing a game that has gotten too rough or silly

“What else can we play?”

RESILIENT Activity 1 To Be Fun, It Has to Be Fun for Everyone

“I had fun but I am done for now.”

“Let’s think of positive ways to tell a friend that a game is no longer fun. We want to make sure he doesn’t think we are upset with him, so let’s remember to use our talking face and voice.” Helpful words to say when a game has gotten too silly: “I want to play. Let’s not be so wild.” “I want to keep playing, but can we play something else please?” “This is getting a little too crazy. Let’s do something else.”

“When a friend thinks your play is too silly or rough, what might his arms and body do?” (push, hold hands up like a stop sign, move away). “What noises or words can you listen for?” (grunts, yelling “Hey,” “Stop,” “Get off of me,” or “I’m telling”). For students with social-emotional challenges, write on the board “Signals That Say ‘It’s No Longer Fun.’” Under that heading make three columns: “Face,” “Body,” “Sounds.” As students are brainstorming answers to the questions above, write down their comments in the appropriate column. Encourage students to refer to the chart as they observe the role-plays.

“Let’s practice. I need another volunteer I can get wild and silly with. The rest of you watch and clap

www.kimochis.com

179


SILLY

COMPASSIONATE AND KIND Activity 1 You’re Funny But Not Now, Please

“How is breaking eye contact during inappropriately silly moments being smart? How does it make you a good friend?” (It’s smart because it means you are choosing learning, you are choosing to pay attention. It’s helpful to friends because it encourages them to do the right thing or calm down. It might help a friend avoid getting in trouble.)

Ex ce rp t

practice Being helpful when friends are silly at the wrong time

R ep ro du ce

BE COMPASSIONATE AND KIND The following communication activities will help students develop compassionate and kind responses when silliness goes too far.

This game is a riot and is a smart one to play right before a long academic lesson. It can help get the wiggles out and show the class how to break eye contact. It also serves as a reminder to students that when someone looks away, it does not mean that person doesn’t like you. It means that the person knows it is the wrong time to laugh so he isn’t going to look at you. This kind of reassurance makes it safe for students to practice new communication habits.

N ot

For younger students, use Huggs and any other Kimochis™ character as puppets. Choose a student who needs practice reading social cues to play the role of Huggs. Have another student use a different Kimochis™ to make sounds and use words and his body to send the signal that the play is too silly. Huggs’s job is to stop, make eye contact, and ask, “Is it getting too wild?”

“We are going to practice how to avoid laughing when a classmate is being silly at the wrong time. Who wants to be silly first? Stand in the center of the circle with all the characters and feelings and act as silly as you’d like. The rest of us are going to break eye contact (look away) and NOT laugh. If you start to laugh, then you are out of the game. That means you won’t get a chance to be silly in the middle.” (Some kids might need a second try.)

D o

Then invite a volunteer to join you in a show so you can model how to read signals and then stop, make eye contact, and ask, “Are you still having fun?” Reverse roles to give students practice.

“Since laughs are contagious, when or where do we need to be careful NOT to laugh?” (during a serious discussion; when someone is hurt).

your hands when you can see and hear that it is not fun for everyone.” (When your class claps, have them describe what they saw and heard that told them it was too silly or rough.)

Materials: all of the Kimochis ™ characters Ask students to give you a soft laugh, a loud laugh, an annoying laugh, and a crazy laugh.Then hold up Huggtopus and say, “Now imitate how you think Huggtopus laughs. What about Bug? Cloud? Cat?” (This will really get the class feeling silly.) “Laughs can be wonderful and are contagious. When something is contagious, it spreads easily from person to person. How can a laugh be contagious?” (Seeing others laugh makes me want to laugh!)

180

www.kimochis.com

COMPASSIONATE AND KIND Activity 2 That’s Not Funny practice Kindness to others when silliness becomes hurtful

Materials: Mad, Sad, Sorry, Scared, Surprised, Shy “When can being silly hurt feelings?” (laughing at someone or imitating them). “When you laugh at someone or imitate them, that’s being funny at someone’s expense. It is not nice to do


SILLY

“Hey, he doesn’t think that’s funny. Let’s do something else.” “Don’t. That’s not funny.”

“Hey!”

“It’s not funny. I need you to stop. Thanks.” Put students into groups of three and have them take turns sticking up for themselves. Allow any groups who wish to be spotlighted to perform for the class. For students with social-emotional challenges, write a Social Narrative (see page 63) about when silliness can be hurtful. Emphasize using a talking face and voice and helpful words. Brainstorm with the student a sentence he would feel comfortable saying and write it in the Narrative.

COMPASSIONATE AND KIND Activity 4 I’m Just Kidding

practice Giving a sincere apology when your humor was hurtful

Ex ce rp t

“You’re funny but that’s not funny.”

“Hey, cut it out. Thanks.”

R ep ro du ce

After students share their best tricks and tips for this hurtful situation, try a few more strategies. Invite two students to join you in a show so you can model how to say something without shaming when you witness someone who did not think a situation was funny. One student can imitate or tease the other student. Model using a matter-offact, to-the-point communication style and the following effective scripts. Once you make your point, change the subject or move the group in a new direction to take the pressure off the situation.

“Stop. I know you’re trying to be funny, but that is not funny to me. Thank you.”

N ot

Clarify for students with social-emotional challenges what being funny at someone’s expense means. Explain that it means you are laughing at someone and it’s hurtful. Add this phrase to the “Words Don’t Always Mean What They Say” poster (page 62).

D o

“What could you say or do if you witness silliness at someone’s expense?”

Allow students to tell or show you their best tricks and tips to handle this situation by creating shows that put students in situations that really happened to them. Take the first turn to model both the words and the way to get someone to realize he is not funny without shaming or making him become defensive.

this. How would you feel if you saw this happen and no adult was around?”

“How do you feel about yourself or others who are brave enough to speak up when silliness hurts?” Reverse roles so students can take turns sticking up for someone else. COMPASSIONATE AND KIND Activity 3 Speak Up When It Is Not Funny practice Kindness when silliness is hurtful

“Some people get carried away and will keep being silly or try to be funny when it is not funny to you. Nod if you have ever found yourself in this situation. What can you say or do when someone’s silliness hurts you?”

Materials: Sorry, Uncomfortable, Scared, Guilty, Surprised, Embarrassed, Happy, Hurt “I notice that some people will say, ‘I’m just kidding’ (say this insincerely and defensively) when they know their silliness has hurt you. What can you imagine a friend is feeling when he says, ‘I’m just kidding’ with that tone of voice and facial expression?”(uncomfortable, scared, guilty, surprised, embarrassed). “How do you feel about a friend who is brave enough to really say he is sorry when he hurts you? How do you feel about friends who protect their feelings by saying sorry but not in a nice way?”

www.kimochis.com

181


SILLY

“How would you feel about a friend who apologized when he upset you? Does anyone have a friend whom they admire for this?”

COMMITMENT to character Personal Commitment Have students record in their Kimochis ™ Journals their positive commitment to choosing one action they learned about silly feelings that will improve relationships and school performance.

Acknowledge Positive Choices When you catch your students making positive choices, acknowledge them: • “Wow! You caught yourself being silly. You noticed that you were interrupting others. That was considerate of you.” • “I see you know when and where to be silly.” • “I would want to be your friend because you have a way of not making people feel badly when they are too silly.” • “You’re quick to see that your friend wants you to stop being too silly/wild. I would appreciate that about you if you were my friend.”

R ep ro du ce

“It can take courage and character to apologize in a sincere way when your silliness was not meant to hurt anyone. Who can demonstrate how to say sorry in a way that sounds and looks sincere?” Have a student act silly so you can look and sound like you are hurt. The student should notice that you didn’t think he was funny and apologize in a sincere way.

HOME LINK

Go to www.kimochis.com for more information, letters to parents, and activities you can share with your students’ families to help them build respect, responsibility, resiliency, and compassion/kindness when dealing with silly feelings at home.

D o –

Ex ce rp t

Give Reminders Young children always need reminders to assume the best when people bother them. Could it be that the person was merely trying to be playful, got carried away, or was in an overly silly or goofy mood? Be kind and simply tell a friend in a reassuring way, “Hey, I like you, but I am not in the mood to be silly.”

N ot

“What one action will help you control your silliness? What one action will help you make sure silliness is fun for everyone?”

Guide Positive Behavior When your students need a little extra help, give them some tips: • “I know you can manage your sillies until a more appropriate time. When would be a better time to be silly?” • “Remember fun has to be fun for everyone.” • “I want you to choose the right time to be silly. This is not the right time. Thank you.” • “Look at Ben’s face. He’s saying this is too silly.” 182

www.kimochis.com


www.kimochis.com

183

Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


EMBARRASSED

R ep ro du ce

N ot

Ex ce rp t

Kimochis™ Keys When embarrassment is keeping a student from being the best he can be, here are the Kimochis ™ Keys that can help. Key 1 Making and maintaining eye contact is challenging when embarrassed. Key 4 Choosing to speak and use words when embarrassed takes courage. Key 5 Choose to re-do a moment even if you feel embarrassed that you called attention to yourself. Key 6 Forgiving someone who has embarrassed you takes practice. Key 7 Choose to assume the best because most people do not try to embarrass you.

Kimochis™ Keys These keys can help your students understand how sleepy feelings can negatively affect their communication habits. Key 1 Loss of sleep means less energy to initiate and maintain eye contact, which can make you come across as not caring. Teach students to explain why they are not making eye contact. “Sorry my eye contact isn’t great. I am really tired today.” Key 2 Put positive energy in your voice even when feeling sleepy so people don’t think you don’t care. Key 3 Put positive energy into your expressions and body language. Key 4 Tell people you are sleepy so they get why you may sound and look the way you do. Key 5 You will have to redo moments because sleepy feelings find most people making mistakes that need repair. Key 7 Choose to assume the best. Consider that someone may be speaking and acting a certain way because she is sleepy.

D o

Boys tend to be shame-phobic and may say and do whatever it takes to avoid shame. (If I am sad that I struggle in math, but I fear that showing sadness will cause shame, then I will not express my true feelings.) In numerous Feeling Lessons, you are provided with activities that will help students understand and manage these normal, yet overwhelming, feelings.

Kimochis™ Note Managing upset feelings is difficult if you are hungry or tired! Talk about the importance of getting lots of sleep and eating healthy. Be understanding of students who are challenged with behavior choices and guide them to make sleep a priority. The Feeling Lessons will remind students to understand that often when people are tired, they cannot monitor tone of voice, facial expression, or word choice.

Kimochis™ Note Embarrassment and shame often keep students (and adults!) from expressing true feelings and making positive choices. Mumbling and limited eye contact can be signs that a student feels self-conscious. Loud or big gestures and words are other ways students mask embarrassed feelings.

Sleepy

Kimochis™ Character Bug gets embarrassed easily. He tends to be cautious and unsure of new situations or change. Bug has to practice using positive self-talk to help himself be brave, to take social or academic risks, and, as a result, to expand his world. 230

www.kimochis.com

Kimochis™ Character Cat is a great teacher for those students who may be sleepy. Being nocturnal, she knows that students who are sleepy may have to repair and redo moments that unintentionally cause hurt.


Surprised

R ep ro du ce

D o

N ot

Kimochis™ Keys The following suggestions can support your students moving from an “I want” to an “I have and feel grateful for” way of experiencing the world. Key 4 When students habitually say, “I want …” you can question, “Do you want or need?” Doing this with a knowing smile helps students realize that you are not scolding but helping them hear themselves, as often kids simply are in a habit of saying “I want.” Key 5 When we forget gratitude because we are moving too fast or caught up in the excitement of wanting something, we can redo a moment with gratitude. Key 7 Assume the best when friends do not express gratitude for your kind ways. Maybe they are in a hurry, have something on their mind, or are simply excited.

Ex ce rp t

Kimochis™ Keys Here are the keys that are most challenging to use when feeling surprised. When practiced, the keys will help students be mindful of what they are saying and doing when they are caught off guard. Key 4 Practice thinking before you speak. Key 5 You may have to become an expert at being brave and redoing moments when surprise and shock make it hard to filter what comes out of your mouth. Key 7 Practice assuming the best. It’s possible that the person was surprised and accidentally chose words and actions that were upsetting.

Kimochis™ Note Materialism is a part of our culture. Students who do not have to struggle for the basic needs of clothing, food, shelter, and love often learn to feel the need for more rather than appreciate what they have. In Class Meetings, talk with students about the difference between “I want” vs. “I need” as a first step toward distinguishing how fortunate we are to have what we need. There is nothing wrong with wanting unless it distracts you from experiencing what you already have. Help focus your students’ minds and hearts on what truly matters because it connects us to feeling content and at peace with ourselves and others.

Kimochis™ Note Shock and surprise can fuel impulsive and regretful words and actions. When people feel surprised, they often react rather than think.The activities in the Feeling Lessons will help your students assume the best and consider why someone may have said or done something that hurt their feelings. Maybe the classmate spoke before thinking because he was feeling surprised. Imagine if your class got in the habit of assuming the best when feeling hurt. How would things be different?

Grateful

Kimochis™ Character Cloud is the obvious Kimochis ™ to teach how to redo moments when surprised. Cloud is quick to snap when feeling emotional, especially when emotion takes him by surprise. The great thing about Cloud is that he is not too proud to redo a moment. He lets people know that he has the habit of snapping but that he doesn’t mean to be unkind. Once Cloud tells people how he is, they understand where he is coming from. They may not like it when Cloud snaps, but at least they don’t take it personally.

Kimochis™ Character Lovey is the Kimochis ™ character who lives gratefully. Share with your class how she turns mistakes into grateful moments as she chooses to see them as lessons.

www.kimochis.com

231


R ep ro du ce N ot D o – Ex ce rp t “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” —Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 1963


Keeping Recess Positive

“Would this game be better if an adult was close by? Why?”

R ep ro du ce

Most students will not get frustrated if you stop a game to talk about how it’s going, ask how people are feeling, and ponder ways to make the game more fun. If you don’t want to do this activity during an actual recess, hold a “fake” recess so students can practice prior to their real recess.

N ot

After Recess Give students Happy and Sad Kimochis ™ faces. (Go to www.kimochis.com for downloadables.) When students come in from recess, have them quickly and privately turn their faces to Happy or Sad and put in their desk to communicate how recess went. Do a quick check to see how students responded. Watch for a pattern of unhappiness, not just an occasional upset.

Before Recess Minutes before recess, ask students what they are going to do at recess. Have them predict, plan, and practice for what could happen that would not make recess fun. For example, if everyone wants to be first on the new monkey bars, students will need a quick show to practice what to say and do should someone not take his turn. Wish them luck and then quickly check in with how things went at the monkey bars upon their return to class.

“What could make this game more fun and fair?”

D o

Recess is the most important “class” of the day. Most kids certainly think so! For the classroom teacher, it can be challenging to help students at recess. Many schools have teachers or aides on duty, but so much of what happens on the playground happens fast and without an adult witness. Here are some simple suggestions that can make a big difference.

Ex ce rp t

Put up a playground billboard where students can advertise what they are playing, invite others to join their activity, and/or post that they are looking for something new to do.

Ask kids what they are excited to do at recess. This will give a heads-up to those who are slow decision-makers or have trouble finding friends. During Recess Take the Kimochis ™ Bowl to a recess game. Call “Freeze” and invite players to pull feelings from the bowl. Talk about the feelings as they relate to the game. “What’s happening to cause this feeling? What could you say or do to make it better?”

Ask your class to close their eyes and give a thumbs-up if they had fun at recess and a thumbsdown if they did not. You will begin to see if there is a pattern with students who keep having less-than-positive experiences. At a private time, take a walk with a student who continues to say recess is not good. “Paula, I keep seeing a thumbsdown from you about recess. Is there more you can tell me? Maybe together we can think of a way to make recess more fun for you.” Have students respond to the following writing prompts on blank Kimochis ™ Notes: Recess is fun because … Recess could be more fun if … www.kimochis.com

251


Kimochis for the Principal ™

R ep ro du ce

N ot

Make things right by apologizing or explaining why he didn’t do the right thing. • Put yourself in the situation he found himself in so you can model how to use the Keys to communication to manage the feelings. Call “freeze” after you model and have the student name three things you did that were positive ways to express this upset feeling. Reverse roles so your student can practice so he is more prepared when this situation occurs again.

Ex ce rp t

To understand what he was feeling: • “What were you feeling when (name the situation)?” • Students can simply show you a Kimochis™ feeling pillow rather than using words. Students who are feeling scared, ashamed, or sad may find it easier to communicate if they can use this nonverbal tool to tell you what they were feeling (this may be especially true of boys).

Create a plan “away from the emotion” for what the student can say and do the next time this feeling or situation arises. • “Next time you feel (frustrated, sad, mad) when friends (name the situation that created the feelings), what can you say and do to manage this feeling with more care?” • If the student doesn’t have any ideas, show him what some kids say and do when they find themselves feeling (frustrated, sad, mad) in similar situations.

D o

The principal (or other educators) can use the communication prompts below with students who have made a poor choice.

enough to talk yet. They may still be feeling emotional. It can be helpful and appreciated if the educator names or describes what the student did and ask the student to simply give you a head nod if he remembers what he did. For example, “Nod if you remember pushing.”

See if your principal would be open to using a Kimochis ™ Bowl of Feelings when students are sent to the office. The feelings are a nonverbal, safe way for a student to show an adult which emotion may have triggered the poor choice that landed him in the office. The feelings can help jump-star t problem-solving and keep a positive connection with the student. They can also reveal if there is a pattern that needs to be addressed. For example, if John always comes in to talk about what happened when he got mad, he might need some one-on-one emotion coaching to learn effective ways of dealing with his anger (see page 261).

What Keys to Communication did the student forget to use that would have helped him manage the upset feeling? • “What did you do with your communication that was not okay when you were feeling (name feelings he showed you)?” • Many students will not feel comfortable

252

www.kimochis.com


R ep ro du ce

• Reverse roles so students who need practice expressing this feeling can rehearse and get specific, positive feedback on what keys they used to manage the upset feeling. (Example: talking eyes, face and voice.) • Wrap up the coaching clinic by having each student make an agreement on one thing they will practice in real life. For example, “I will monitor my tone of voice when I feel mad.” • Periodically check in with students to see how their communication commitment or agreement is going. Are they monitoring their tone of voice? Why or why not? What additional supports might they need?

Ex ce rp t

D o

N ot

Creating Coaching Clinics for Feelings Create coaching clinics where students can coach others on how to manage feelings. Select students (or ask for volunteers) who are fluent and successful with managing a particular feeling, such as mad. At lunchtime, these students can share and demonstrate their tips and tricks with students who are struggling with managing this emotion. For example, kids who yell and hit can learn how to manage mad feelings differently. • Have students create a list of situations that happen that can create the upset feeling. • A student who has this emotion mastered can coach students who are struggling. This will give them an opportunity to mentor and demonstrate what to say and do to work through this emotion.

www.kimochis.com

253


254

www.kimochis.com

Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


Social-Emotional Behavior Scale Kimochis™ Educational Tool Kit

Student’s/Teacher’s Name ______________________ School ___________________Grade ______Date _____ Check box if using to rate one student.

Check box if using to rate full class.

How often does your student/class engage in these behaviors? 1 = Almost never

2 = Once in a while

3 = Occasionally 1

2

4 = Usually 3

4

5 = Almost always 5

Notes

Student/class gains peer’s attention before speaking (tap shoulder, call name, use eye contact) Student/class uses calm eyes when expressing upset feelings Student/class uses calm tone of voice when expressing upset feelings

R ep ro du ce

Student/class uses calm facial expression and positive body language when expressing upset feelings Student/class uses “helpful” and kind words when expressing upset feelings Student/class expresses sympathy for others Student/class can redo a hurtful moment when prompted by adult

N ot

Student/class self-corrects or re-does hurtful acts

Ex ce rp t

Student/class responds appropriately when others invade their personal space

Student/class realizes when they have invaded others’ space and makes adjustment

D o

Student/class maintains focus and attention when distracted by peers or environment

Student/class uses effective strategies to join activities with peers Student/class knows what to say and do when excluded Student/class invites others to join in group activities

Student/class knows what to say and do when teased

Student/class apologizes and takes ownership for hurtful words and actions Student/class works in kind and respectful ways with classmates who can be difficult Student/class tries to work out problems with others before going to teacher Student/class returns from playground reporting fewer problems Student/class makes positive comments about themselves (does not make comments like, “Nobody likes me.”) Student/class makes positive comments about others (does not make comments like, “Everybody is mean.”) www.kimochis.com

273


Ex ce rp t – D o N ot

R ep ro du ce


About the Authors Ellen Pritchard Dodge, M.Ed., CCC-SLP, is a recognized leader in character education and communication skills in the classroom. Ellen has published numerous books and articles, has given over 300 workshops, and teaches in public schools in Northern California, where her communication curriculum won a National Character Education Award. Ellen, with Dr. William Pollack, author of Real Boys, collaborated to create classrooms that are academically and socially engaging for boys through Supporting Our Sons. Since 2008, she has been the educational director and curriculum author for Plushy Feely Corp. Ellen has three daughters (with tons of feelings), a husband in feeling training, and a dog named Finnegan, whom

R ep ro du ce

she relies on for his predictable moods. Swedish fish, white chocolate, hiking, and laughing out loud are her selfmanagement tools for helping her bounce back when feeling upset. She’d like to think she’s like Lovey Dove (which she kind of is), though she is mostly a combination of Cat and Huggs as she exuberantly tries to lead the way.

Charlotte Rice is an early childhood consultant, trainer, and curriculum developer and has more than 20 years of experience in early childhood education as a teacher, director, and college professor. Her goal is to see schoolwide social-emotional learning programs in all schools, beginning in the early

N ot

years. Charlotte joined the Kimochis ™ project in 2009 and is committed to empowering children to become successful in school and in life. Kimochis ™ continues to be a ton of fun for her thanks to her partners,

D o

Ellen and Diann, as together they help make a difference so that children will have the positive habits to become resilient, responsible, respectful, and compassionate in work and in play. She is grateful to be a part of the

Kimochis ™ team, making a difference one child and one feeling at a time.

Ex ce rp t

Charlotte has been married to her life partner, Keith, for 30 years, and they are the proud parents of an amazingly kind, brave and resilient son, Ryan. She surrounds herself with friends and family who keep her feeling happy, grateful, and playfully silly! Like Ellen, she relates mostly to Huggs and Cat. Charlotte is most grateful to her parents, who raised two loved, brave, hopeful, resilient, and silly daughters willing to take risks and stand up for themselves! Thanks, Lola and Gene, we love you!

Diann Grimm, M.A., CCC-SLP, Ed.S., is speech-language pathologist and education specialist with more than 30 years of experience in special education. She has presented over 400 workshops to educators and parents, and has helped teachers and specialists build accepting, positive classrooms for students throughout Northern California. She likes to help classroom teachers feel great about including students with special needs in the school community. Diann loves to travel worldwide and dreams about taking Kimochis ™ to the far reaches of our planet so all kids can experience the Kimochis ™ Way. Diann has a wonderful husband, Dan, who is very fond of Huggtopus, and a real cat named Leo, who is bossy and persuasive just like Kimochis ™ Cat. All three feel curious, hopeful, and, especially, grateful.

www.kimochis.com

279


Behaviors at a Glance For Students who Need Help Being Inclusive

Be inclusive

LESSON

PAGE

ECE Left Out 1, 2

90

ECE Happy 1, 5

74

Brave: Compassionate and Kind 1

157

Left Out: Compassionate and Kind 3, 4

170,171

Get self included

R ep ro du ce

WHAT TO SAY AND DO TO …

Left Out: Resilient 2

167

ECE Left Out 1

90

For Students who Need Help managing exclusion WHAT TO SAY AND DO WHEN …

LESSON ECE Mad 3

Excluded

N ot

Left Out: Resilient 1

PAGE 82

165

Left Out: Responsible 2

164

Student is worried he will be excluded again

Left Out: Resilient 3

168

D o

Pressured to exclude others

For Students who Need Help with teasing

Teased

Silliness is hurtful Observing teasing

PAGE

Key 3: Activity 6

35

Sad: Resilient 2

137

Brave: Respectful 2

150

Silly: Compassionate and Kind 1

180

Silly: Compassionate and Kind 2, 3

180, 181

LESSON

Ex ce rp t

WHAT TO SAY AND DO WHEN …

For Students who Need Help with bossiness WHAT TO SAY AND DO WHEN … Friends boss or yell

Student uses bossy talk

280

www.kimochis.com

LESSON

PAGE

Key 2: Activity 2

31

ECE Cranky 2

106

ECE Cranky 1

106

Cranky: Responsible 1

205


For Students who Need Help handling hurtful behavior WHAT TO SAY AND DO TO …

LESSON

PAGE

Deal with getting a mean look

Key 3: Activity 3

34

Re-do a hurtful moment

Mad: Responsible 4

144

When friends brag

Proud: Respectful 1

220

Respond to bragging

Proud: Resilient 1

222

For Students who Need Help with impulsive behavior LESSON

PAGE

Accidentally speaking before thinking

Proud: Resilient 1

Friends make unsafe choices

Curious: Responsible 1

197

Friends distract others

ECE Silly 3

94

ECE Silly 1 Friends get too silly and/or rough

R ep ro du ce

WHAT TO SAY AND DO WHEN …

94 98

ECE Frustrated 3

N ot

Silly: Respectful 1, 2

94

Silly: Responsible 2

178

Silly: Respectful 2

177

Silly: Compassionate and Kind 1

180

D o

Friends need to calm down

176, 177

ECE Silly 2

Students get too close Students get too silly

222

Ex ce rp t

For Students who Need Help Standing up for self WHAT TO SAY AND DO TO …

LESSON

PAGE

Key 3; Activity 5

35

Mad: Responsible 2

143

Recover after given a mean look

Key 3: Activity 3

34

Respond when someone grabs

Mad: Responsible 5

144

Be assertive when silliness gets hurtful

Silly: Compassionate and Kind 3

181

Comfort self when feeling negative emotions

ECE Sad 2

78

Send a strong, serious message

Mad: Responsible 2

143

Express opinions and beliefs

Happy: Respectful 1

126

Signal that teasing is not funny

Silly: Compassionate and Kind 3

181

Find your voice and set a boundary

www.kimochis.com

281


Plushy Feely Corp. 11 San Rafael Avenue, San Anselmo, CA 94960 415.454.4600 • kimochime@kimochis.com www.kimochis.com

Kimochis Curriculum Excerpt  

Kimochis Curriculum Excerpt

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you