Daughter Tabitha standing near a shelving unit in Tomasi’s kitchen
Son Tino on a magazine cover Tomasi holding a chicken alongside her dog Gigi
I am not a good grown-up mother, because I’d like to keep them all at home. THERESA TOMASI A photo of Tomasi with her son,Trey
A plaque with flags showing the birth countries of Tomasi’s children
Living on an active farm, the kids grew up with horses to hay and animals to care for while Tomasi worked full time as a social worker. “They never seemed burdened by it. It just seemed to be a common goal to get everything Theresa Tomasi with 18 of her children done. They were very supportive of each other,” said Tomasi. Yandow remembered that she and Her children arrived in her life at different ages — between infancy her siblings spent lots of time playing outside and rarely watched television. and 15 — and from different places. A framed piece of art shows the flags of the “We were never without a playmate. We were never bored. We were never countries where her children were born: lonely,” she said. Canada, the United States, Cambodia, India, Ecuador, Ghana and Bangladesh. Wanda Audette, director of adoption at “They all had certain sorrows about Lund, has known Tomasi for 25 years and helped her with eight adoptions. She said having to leave their roots, and some of she watched as Tomasi created the village them were older and had strong feelings it took to raise each child. about that. I think they bonded over a “The kids get their needs met, and common purpose, common feelings,” said they may not get them met by their Tomasi.
parent all the time, but they can get all of their needs met by the community of their family,” said Audette. “She provides unconditional love and acceptance to her children.” Tomasi said several of her children were gifted athletes. She recalled her son Tino’s first words when he got off the plane from Ghana: “Do you play soccer here?” Then he asked if he could start school the following day. “We got into soccer, big-time soccer. We went to hundreds of soccer games ... They all played [soccer] and track,” she said. Many of her children went to college on scholarships for those sports. Several got scholarships to prep schools in New England. “They really worked hard to achieve their goals,” said Tomasi. Her daughter, Torah, is now a doctor in Maine, and Tino is studying for his PhD in psychology in Boston. Twelve of her children live in
Vermont, and the others are spread out across the country — including in California, Washington, Tennessee and Kentucky. Tomasi received an honorary degree from the University of Vermont in 2012 and was an Angels of Adoption recipient from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute in 2004. But her family has not escaped tragedy. A just-adopted daughter was killed in an auto accident right before she was scheduled to fly to America to meet Tomasi. Her son, Toby, died in a train accident in 1991, just before his 18th birthday. “He was the nicest, kindest human being I’ve ever met. It was terrible for our family,” said Tomasi. Tomasi also lost a daughter, Mira, who had flown from India to join the family at age 15 but was in need of surgery and immediately had to be admitted to the hospital. She eventually passed away during open-heart surgery. The six weeks Tomasi mothered her left a deep impression. “She said to me, ‘Mummy, why is it that in America, people always bring you gifts when they come see you?’ And I said, ‘Because they want to show you they care about you.’ ‘Can’t they just say it in words?’ she said.” Tomasi said the pandemic has been hard for her family. Her out-of-state children can’t travel, and her in-state children must be cautious when they visit. “I really miss having them in the house, living here,” Tomasi said. “I am not a good grown-up mother, because I’d like to keep them all at home.” But daughters Tegan, who is blind and on the autism spectrum, and Tabitha, who is severely cognitively impaired, still live with her. “I think God was good to me because now I have two children that are going to stay home,” said Tomasi. “And it really gives you a purpose in life.” K KIDSVT.COM MAY 2021
23