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Hash Trash #1487, Boxing Day Run Club Rouge (?? Or Amnesia??), December 26, 2011 Hares: Dirty Dick, Katanga Bii & Measles GM: Virus Scribe: Sexy Luxy Ugly Betty ………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Oh Crap! Did not realize that writing the weekly trash amidst festivities was an energy sucking exercise like hashing it on Boxing day! Are you surprised I was there? Dah!. Who would have brought you all the lousy gossip from some 70+ super-achieving hashers, with no life except running crazy around the city. And let’s not even talk about the hares: Dirty Dick, Katanga Bii and Measles. These super-ambitious humans’ only claim to fame was getting us to hash in a traffic-free Boxing Day city. All else went mambo jumbo, with no food, no fruits, no free beer, and the man with the key to Club Rouge went missing. What the F……………! Anyway, there is no next time for this sucker trio! 1


Yet, we still gave them our beers and a nod? The hash is so kind! N’way! From outside Club Rouge, the trail went across the road toward by Petro Station and continued on between Nakasero and Kololo, taking us past significant landmarks like the Parliament building, Sheraton Hotel, Golf Course Hotel, Oasis Nakumatt, Golf Course, Kololo airstrip, Kampala Club, finishing through Christ the King and back at Parliament building. I took it upon myself to race Between the Thigh to the finish line, giving him a run for his money and helping drain out his blood-filled alcohol. But NO! the run was not two-hours as the crazy hares had promised. Getting back to Club Rouge, there was no water, no fruit and the hares seemed to have disappeared for a while! What exactly happened, je n’est sais pas! But we had to suck it up. And since Club Rouge was still locked, we had neither drinks nor cups for circle. Hooray! Club Amnesia next door saved the day by opening its doors to our sweaty cash pockets and finally, life seemed to have come back to life with a beer in hand. Circle started with sinners Katanga Bii, Narrow Hole and Papsmear not wearing hash tees, while Vuvu Dick’s “eye-killing tee” did not pass the fashion test. For that, , Grandmattress did not have a “fashion” achievers mug for Vuvu Dick but consoled him with a 50 runs Hash Tee, while Dirty Dick and Kisanja got their 300 runs mug. ON ON! We also drank to new shoes of Coming Long and that hash handless guy who harasses hashers with running shoe sales. And there were plenty on Chatterbox award, including Bin Laden, Goofy, No Hole, Sunset Stripper and Ugly Betty, with the ultimate award going to Sunset Stripper. For Hash Shit, the ménage à trios of hares Dirty Dick, Katanga Bii and Measles got booked for unfulfilled promises, while Don from the “North Pole” got caught playing with his gadget. Of course no one could beat the miserable trio to the finish line; they so deserved it. And with that, Circle came to an end, with uncertainty whether we would eat or boogie. Fortunately for us, we had Dry Climax, who always makes things happen. She secured each of us a piece of grilled chicken, with the lucky ones getting a second helping. I hear those who opted for Plan B at Amnesia got a special treat of free popcorn and roasted groundnuts to down down their beers. Whoa! How I missed that! By the time I got in, I wanted to run out immediately. The music was awful and the mood somber that the only thing that seemed to make rounds was a bottle of beer or Smirnoff vodka. Just like that, I disappeared off home hoping for a revenge hash next Monday at the MMC Handover at Lugogo Cricket Oval by the MTN Arena and Oasis. Yeah! If you miss this, you risk missing free tees, free beers, free everything. After all, it is the MMC…right? Gatta pull out my dancing shoes. And thereafter, Dirty Dick has got us excited for the Old Skool Hash coming up sometime in January 2012. TIL THEN ON ON 2


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KH3 Trash 1487 at Club Rouge