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September fifteenth, 1900 Tasks for Monday -Breakfast for children -laundry -tidy kitchen -Prepare lunch -Baking -Thoroughly clean entire house -Prepare dinner -Feed livestock -Keep an eye on the children all day

I have to perform this same schedule almost every day. I will not complain about taking care of my children, I love them. But I can only stand so much repetitiveness. I need some variety in my life. I want to do bigger things, explore the world. I grew up in the city, where there was action and something new and exciting every day. It gave me something to write about, different ideas for my hobby. I’ve had to put my writing aside after marriage, as it doesn’t fit in my daily schedule. Sometimes I write in secret, about dreams I have. What is there to write about here? In the middle of nowhere, the same thing every day. The only thing keeping me going is my children and loving husband. I feel selfish that I am having regrets, but I can’t help this feeling. If I hadn’t married, I probably would have received a higher education. I would have had all the freedom in the world; I could have traveled and sold my pieces of writing. I’ve had dreams of teaching too, which was actually a possibility before I moved out here and had children. I chose my path a long time ago. I have no way out.

Trapped, Mary J. Miller

Journal Entry  

regretting not going to school, daily to do list

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