SHIFT+CONTROL { {BEHIND THE SCENES} } “It was a combination of walking back into Monroe County jail after saying I would never come back, the depression of being in there, and then I called my parents. And that phone call I had with them was the worst phone call I ever had in my life.”
or like a romantic evening with a girl. My idea of fun was warped, and I want people to know that’s not what sobriety is—it’s not miserable. It could be very fulfilling and fun, but it’s not automatic either. You have to work on yourself, and then work to help others, and then that fulfillment comes full circle.” And when asked about how to talk to someone going through addiction: Definitely don’t put them down or belittle them, especially about their addiction. Be supportive without enabling, and one thing I think is very important is planting the seeds of sobriety. The first two or three rehabs I went to didn’t get me sober, but there was little things I learned and listened to in there that I still know to this day. And those little seeds—you never know when they’re actually gonna pop up. People always say, ‘You went to that rehab—it didn’t work!’ It’s not that it didn’t work, but maybe the person wasn’t ready. There’s 124
a million circumstances, but I would learn little things each time that when it finally does kind of all come together, I can use stuff that I learned at this rehab, this AA meeting...Yeah, I never think it’s a bad idea to plant positive seeds, even though the person might have another ten years of using, you know? Who knows? Something could pop up and help them.”
something wrong, but sports helped me my whole life, and taking away that identity at that age would not have helped. And I think a lotta times now when someone gets in trouble they punish them by kicking them off this inclusive, good, positive program they’re involved in—no. You can punish them, but don’t take away something that’s benefitting their life.”
Looking back, Kyle notably mentioned that he believes his identity crash might have come sooner when he was sixteen, had he been kicked off the football team. He has a DWI, and the athletic director deemed the consequence be immediate removal. “...The coaches ended up coming in and talking to him, ‘He’s a very good player; you don’t want him off the team,’ so they made me go to AA meetings. If they would have kicked me off the team—yes it’s a punishment, but I think that would have started my addiction way earlier. Yes, someone needs to be punished if they did
Though we as a society have a ways to go for resolving the opioid crisis, having valuable perspective such as this helps to close the gap between those who struggle with addiction and those who have a loved one who struggles. Choosing sobriety is arduous, but with increasing awareness, supports, education, and outreach, hopefully the choice becomes less onerous. “To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE ::DECEMBER/JANUARY EDITION 2019-2020