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The End Is Hear Kellen Harris Mathew Horton English 1101 April 30, 2012


English 1101 Final Portfolio Project Title Table of Contents

Analytical Cover Letter....................................................................................................................1 Quality Comparison .........................................................................................................................4 Least Successful Article Response ......................................................................................5 Most Successful Article Response .......................................................................................7 “What’s the Difference?” .....................................................................................................9 Revision Samples ...........................................................................................................................11 Least Successful Article Response (with markup) ............................................................12 Least Successful Article Response (final) .........................................................................14 Most Successful Article Response (with markup) .............................................................16 Most Successful Article Response (final) ..........................................................................18 Most Successful Essay (with markup) ...............................................................................20 Most Successful Essay (final) ............................................................................................25


April 30, 2012 Matthew R. Horton, Ph. D. Assistant Professor of English Gainesville State College Oconee Campus 313b Oconee Classroom 1201 Bishop Farms Parkway Watkinsville, GA 30677 Dear Dr. Horton, Well what can I say about this semester? It has been filled with tons of papers, and tons of research. But I have to say; with all of the work it’s been very enjoyable. The work that you presented to us in the beginning of the semester seemed very challenging, but with some perseverance, I felt like I was able to manage. I believe that my success in this class was moderately successful. Hearing from other students in the class, I really felt like I was on top of my game with the work load. I believe that the evidence of my success will be very easily seen. You can expect to see how I was able to stay on topic, and not wonder off from my thesis as easily. Also, grammatical errors have also been reduced and corrected, and they will be noticeable. I will further explain my successes and faults through my papers. In my least successful article response, there were obvious mistakes that should have been seen in the beginning, but having it be my first paper in your class, I had some things to learn. I believe the most obvious mistake within my article response would be going off topic. Early on, I realized that I would easily drift off topic, or even the author’s point of view. Understanding this helped me to watch what I was writing in my paper, to make it flow easier. Also in my paper, I realized that I used vague words like “it, people, you, ect.” Making these changes in my revision helped the paper to seem more professional and understanding to the reader. Another would be comma splices. I would sometimes not have a comma, or have to sentences joined together that needed to be separated with an semi-colon. This also helped me to get rid of the conjunctions that I had within my least successful article response. In my most successful article response, there were definitely improvements, but honestly there were still the same mistakes. I still went off topic, I had comma splices, I had a bunch of vague words, and so on. But, through at the same mistakes that I did, I was still able to have a more successful article response. I was able to have a more solid explanation of the point of view from the authors stand point, and I was able to bring the point of view into an event similar to my experience better. I tended to go off topic still with the explanation of the point of view, so I had to delete my first explanation of the article and replace it with a statement that I had in the middle of my first paragraph in my paper. Even the my grades didn’t change between my least successful and my most, I could tell that I greatly improved on most things but there still needed to be improvements. In my most successful essay, I believe there were substantial improvements due to the grade that I received, and also by just seeing fewer errors. While writing the paper, I made sure to be 1


observant of my vagueness, and you could easily see that I had no vague words. Also, you can tell that I stayed on topic, and I wasn’t as easy to get off on some random course of writing. In my marked up version, you will see several sentences that I have just completely deleted from my paper, because they were irrelevant to the paper. You will definitely notice that my grammatical errors have been extremely reduced, because while writing I was sure to be more observant with the way I structured my sentences, and the way I used my commas and periods, and also my semi-colons. Between all the article responses, they really helped me to write a really good essay. Even though I have really grown as a writer in your class the past four months, there are still some ongoing problems that are still evident in my writing. One in particular would be commasplices. I usually have a problem with comma-splices for some reason; because I usually have two sentences joined together which need to be separated by either a semi-colon, a comma, or just needs to be a separate sentence from the other. Another problem that needs to be improved would have to be my citations. I have trouble sometimes setting up my citations, even though we had examples, if I had to build it myself, I would usually mess it up. But with the examples, and learning that I can get the citations through the internet, it has been a lot easier to develop my cites. I believe through your class I have had moderate success. I know for a fact that starting out, especially with the article responses, I was on a rocky start, but I know for a fact in the end I pulled out some pretty good writings. It’s not my decision to say what grade I deserve, but by looking over my work through my portfolio, I would give myself an 84. The reasons why is because I make several mistakes within my papers, obviously. But, I know for a fact that I structure them the right way, and also my ideas are always relevant to the topic. If I was able to get rid of the grammatical errors, I do believe that I would deserves maybe a point or two higher, but due to this, I know my grade want be extremely higher. You can definitely see the maturity of my writing through my article essays. Because between the two I got an average of 82, so I believe with the rest of the work that I have done in your class, an 84 is a reasonable grade for me. Sincerely,

Jeremy K. Harris

2


Least Successful Article Response The World as We Know It Berry, Wendell. "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits." Harper's Magazine. The Harper's Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 8 January 2012 Our world as we know is in an economic crisis. In the article Faustian Economics: Hell hath no limits by Wendell Berry, he explains the problems that the world is facing through energy sources. He states, “The general reaction to the apparent end of the era of cheap fossil fuel, as to other readily foreseeable curtailments, has been to delay any sort of reckoning.” The world’s economy has fallen upon an energy shortage crisis and with the idea that Wendell describes as “limitlessness” has strongly affected the way people react to this crisis. Wendell believes that people have become so self centered and greedy, that they have obscured the thought of being limitlessness as being god-like or limitless animals. Berry states, “In keeping with our unrestrained consumptiveness, the commonly accepted basis of our economy is the supposed possibility of limitless growth, limitless wants, limitless wealth, limitless natural resources, limitless energy, and limitless debt.” Through the struggles to have everything limitless, we are slowly destroying our economy with the idea that we have no limit. We have defined ourselves as “god-like.” What would happen to our economy if we were to have no more natural resources to create energy? Or better yet, what would happen to the world? Wendell Berry’s article, Faustian Economics, talks about our world going through the struggles of economic depression. The idea that one day we will eventually be upon an economic energy crisis seems very apparent. Think about it. What would happen if we ran out of energy resources? In Berry’s article, he talks about the process of mining for coal. In order to mine for coal, you have to dig, usually in mountainous areas, and in order to get to those areas you have to

4


chop down millions of trees. Then when they get the coal, they take it either to energy plants or bag them up for consumers to use for grilling, burning, and others. Now, when the energy plants burn the coal to create energy for people like me and you to use our computers, charge our phones, and so on, they dump tons of pollution in the air by burning the coal that can cause harm to nature and even to our human health. But we have to have energy right? These are some of the problems that Berry discusses about using some of these resources. So once we finally run out of coal, then what do we do? Berry describes that it’s a lose – lose type of situation. We are doing harm to nature by digging for coal, but if we run out, then we loose an energy source. This is when he brings in the word “limitlessness.” He describes people as having no limits, which in this case the people digging for the coal and using it for energy have no limits in stopping to find a better energy source. They keep on using it even when they know that it is doing harm to our ecosystem. It’s kind of like a friend of mine with which I played football. He used steroids in order to get really strong so that he could go on to play college football. He had no limits when it came to taking steroids. He really believed he was unstoppable because he was taking these steroids, but eventually it lead him to a hospital bed and nearly ended his life. If we don’t get the idea of “limitlessness” out of our heads and come to reality, we will eventually meet our limit. Berry states, “In the art of living we can only start again with what remains.” If we stop what we are doing and take up these ideas proposed by Berry, we might just be able to save what we have left.

5


Most Successful AR Walmart & China: The Environmental Crisis Schell, Orville. “How Walmart is Changing China.” Atlantic Magazine. The Atlantic Foundation, December 2011. Web. 27 January 2012. In the article “How Walmart is Changing China" written by Orville Schell, Schell explains his concerns of Walmart having a home in China. Schell states, “But one thing is already clear: how Walmart and China interact with each other over the next decade will be critical to the fate of the planet’s environment.” China has a massive population. There are over nineteen cities that have over a million people living in them, and the cities are filled with pollution. With Walmart establishing a basis in China, Schell believes that the two will create an environmental crisis. Schell states, “So one might plausibly wonder why Walmart, a company that is so indelibly American, might now have an experience that is any different.” Because China has such cheap labor, and such a massive population, demand for goods is high and Walmart can pay very little to run its business. Even though Walmart states that it’s a “green” company, Schell states, “that inefficiency and waste were omnipresent, even in a notoriously stingy company like Walmart, with the waste not only damaging the environment, but damaging the company’s bottom line as well.” Schell seems to be approaching his audience with a persuasive approach, trying to use as much information as possible to display his point of view. The article "How Walmart is Changing China," shows how big multibillion dollar companies like Walmart are actually destroying the environment. It is significant to the fact that even though a company like Walmart is actually helping the economy of China, its continuing to destroy the environment around China. So one might ask, is it worth it? One idea that might be taken from this is why we establish companies in China when we owe so much money to them.

6


Schell argues, “some of the very best qualities in our country—hard work, the spirit of enterprise, fair dealing, and integrity,� are values that America holds strongly to be a powerful nation. Then why do we have to establish companies in foreign countries? Back to what Schell says earlier, it all has to do with cheap labor. With labor cost continuing to go up in the U.S., other companies will continue to move to other countries. Schell does an excellent job making the reader focus on the consequences of moving companies to foreign areas. Whether its pollution or cheaper labor cost, American companies will continue to move their establishment else where for cheap labor despite the environmental costs.

7


What’s the Difference?

Through my two article responses, I made the same exact grade on both. But that does not mean that I have a most successful and a least successful. I will start on talking about my least successful article response, which is titled “The World As We Know It.” If you were to look at this paper, you will see many mistakes, and I don’t think it’s because it was one of my first papers. I believe the obvious evidence that makes it my least is all the grammatical errors. You will definitely notice comma-splices within the paper that I did not notice, and also, I would get off topic and write irrelevant sentences throughout the paper. Another reason why it would be my weakest paper would have to be my evidence for the point of view. I would mix up the author’s point of view through some other kind of idea that he suggest within his article. The funny things is, I would have the right point of view within the paper, so all I had to do is just replace it with the wrong point of view and then it would be correct. I believe this is all evidence that this article response was my least successful. But, through the struggles of the article response, I do believe I was able to improve on my most successful article reason, but due to some of the same mistakes, I still received the same grade. In my most successful article response, I titled my paper, “Wal-Mart and China: The Environmental Crisis.” In this paper, I felt a lot more conferrable with coming up with ideas to develop in my paper. I believe that I was more concrete with the author’s point of view, and I know that I was able to support it with evidence that the author states within his article. Also, I was able to have it in a more chronological fashion, which helped the ideas to be able to flow more easily, and made it more understandable to the reader. However, I still wasn’t successful catching the grammatical errors in this paper. Just like the last one, I had comma-splices, went off topic, I had an citation issue, and even forgot to put my magazine name in italics. But even


the mistakes were evident, I know for a fact due to the hard evidence that I was able to provide on the article response, it was more successful then the least successful, because I was able to provide more insight, which helped me show the author’s point of view better than the other. Even though they are the same grade, they are still deferent.


Least Successful Article Response The World as We Know It Berry, Wendell. "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits." Harper's Magazine. The Harper's Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 8 January 2012 Our world as we know is in an economic crisis. In the article “Faustian Economics: Hell Hhath Nno Llimits,” by Wendell Berry, he believes that humans see themselves as limitless

Comment [GSC1]: I deleted this because I believe it is totally irrelevant to the paper. Comment [GSC2]: I am really bad at forgetting to put quotations around my article title, so I made sure that I highlighted this and changed it.

creatures. e explains the problems that the world is facing through energy sources. He states, “The general reaction to the apparent end of the era of cheap fossil fuel, as to other readily foreseeable curtailments, has been to delay any sort of reckoning.” The world’s economy has

Comment [GSC3]: I knew before I started this classs the proper formatting of quotations.

fallen upon an energy shortage crisis and with the idea that Wendell describes as “limitlessness” has strongly affected the way people react to this crisis. Wendell argues believes that our society people have has become so self centered and greedy, that they have obscured the thought of being limitlessness as being god-like or limitless animals. Berry states, “In keeping with our

Comment [GSC4]: I took out “believes” because the whole point of the author writing this article is because he is trying to “Argue” his point to persuade the audience, so I thought that argue would be a more suitable word. Comment [GSC5]: I used the word “people in my original, so I replaced it with society, because people is to vague.

unrestrained consumptiveness, the commonly accepted basis of our economy is the supposed possibility of limitless growth, limitless wants, limitless wealth, limitless natural resources, limitless energy, and limitless debt.” Through the struggles to have everything limitless, we are slowly destroying our economy with the idea that we have no limit. We have defined ourselves as “god-like.” What would happen to our economy if we were to have no more natural resources to create energy? Or better yet, what would happen to the world? Wendell Berry’s article, Faustian Economics, argues talks about our world going through the struggles of economic depression. The idea that one day we will eventually be upon an

Comment [GSC6]: I realized by ending the paper with a question leaves speculation of my opinion, which is totally against the rules when writing an article response. Comment [GSC7]: I like the choice of word better.

economic energy crisis seems very apparent. Think about it. What would happen if we ran out of energy resources? In Berry’s article, he talks about the process of mining for coal. In order to

Comment [GSC8]: I deleted all of this because I felt like I was repeating myself, so I took it all out.


mine for coal, the miners you have to dig, usually in mountainous areas, and in order to get to

Comment [GSC9]: “you” is very vague so I took it out.

those areas you have to chop down thousands millions of trees. Then, when they get the coal,

Comment [GSC10]: Comma splice

they take it either to energy plants or bag them up for consumers to use for grilling, burning, and other uses. Now, when the energy plants burn the coal to create energy for people like me and you to use our computers, charge our phones, and so on, they dump tons of pollution in the air by burning the coal which will that can cause harm to nature and even to our human health. But we

Comment [GSC11]: Makes the sentence flow more easily.

have to have energy right? These are some of the problems that Berry discusses about using some of these resources. So once we finally run out of coal, then what do we do? Berry describes that it’s a lose – lose type of situation. We are doing harm to nature by digging for coal, but if we

Comment [GSC12]: This was very off topic, so I completely removed, and by removing this it will make my pages a little more equal length.

run out, then we loose an energy source. This is when he brings in the word “limitlessness.” He describes people as having no limits, which in this case the people digging for the coal and using it for energy have no limits in stopping to find a better energy source. The Miners keptThey keep on using it even when they kneow that it is doing harm to our ecosystem. It’s kind of like a friend of mine thatwith which I played football with. He used steroids in order to get really strong so that he could go on to play college football. He had no limits when it came to taking steroids. He really believed he was unstoppable because he was taking these steroids, but eventually it lead him to a hospital bed and nearly ended his life. If we don’t get the idea of “limitlessness” out of our heads and come to reality, we will eventually meet our limit. Berry states, “In the art of living we can only start again with what remains.” If we stop what we are doing and take up these ideas proposed by Berry, we might just be able to save what we have left.

Comment [K13]: I rewrote like this because it sounded better, and also they is vague.


Least Successful Article Response The World as We Know It Berry, Wendell. "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits." Harper's Magazine. The Harper's Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 8 January 2012 In the article “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits,” by Wendell Berry, he believes that humans see themselves as limitless creatures. He states, “The general reaction to the apparent end of the era of cheap fossil fuel, as to other readily foreseeable curtailments, has been to delay any sort of reckoning.” The world’s economy has fallen upon an energy shortage crisis and with the idea that Wendell describes as “limitlessness” has strongly affected the way people react to this crisis. Wendell argues that our society has become so self centered and greedy, that they have obscured the thought of being limitlessness as being god-like or limitless animals. Berry states, “In keeping with our unrestrained consumptiveness, the commonly accepted basis of our economy is the supposed possibility of limitless growth, limitless wants, limitless wealth, limitless natural resources, limitless energy, and limitless debt.” Through the struggles to have everything limitless, we are slowly destroying our economy with the idea that we have no limit. We have defined ourselves as “god-like.” Wendell Berry’s article, Faustian Economics, argues about our world going through the struggles of economic depression. In Berry’s article, he talks about the process of mining for coal. In order to mine for coal, the miners have to dig, usually in mountainous areas, and in order to get to those areas you have to chop down thousands of trees. Then, when they get the coal, they take it either to energy plants or bag them up for consumers to use for grilling, burning, and other use. Now, when the energy plants burn the coal to create energy for people like me and you to use our computers, charge our phones, and so on, they dump tons of pollution in the air by


burning the coal which will cause harm to nature and even to our human health. We are doing harm to nature by digging for coal, but if we run out, then we loose an energy source. This is when he brings in the word “limitlessness.” He describes people as having no limits, which in this case the people digging for the coal and using it for energy have no limits in stopping to find a better energy source. They keep on using it even when they know that it is doing harm to our ecosystem. It’s kind of like a friend of mine with which I played football. He used steroids in order to get really strong so that he could go on to play college football. He had no limits when it came to taking steroids. He really believed he was unstoppable because he was taking these steroids, but eventually it lead him to a hospital bed and nearly ended his life. If we don’t get the idea of “limitlessness” out of our heads and come to reality, we will eventually meet our limit. Berry states, “In the art of living we can only start again with what remains.” If we stop what we are doing and take up these ideas proposed by Berry, we might just be able to save what we have left.


Most Successful AR Walmart & China: The Environmental Crisis Schell, Orville. “How Walmart is Changing China.” Atlantic Magazine. The Atlantic Foundation, December 2011. Web. 27 January 2012.

Comment [K1]: I had forgotten to put the magazine name in italics in my original.

Formatted: Font: Italic

In the article “How Walmart is Changing China" written by Orville Schell, Schell argues with Wal-Mart establishing a basis in China, he believes that the two will create an environmental crisis. Schell explains his concerns of Walmart having a home in China. Schell

Comment [K2]: I put this in because it related to the topic more than the original

states, “But one thing is already clear: how Walmart and China interact with each other over the

Comment [K3]: I deleted this because it was off topic

next decade will be critical to the fate of the planet’s environment.” China has a massive population. There are over nineteen cities that have over a million people living in them, and the cities are filled with pollution. With Walmart establishing a basis in China, Schell believes that the two will create an environmental crisis. Schell states, “So one might plausibly wonder why

Comment [K4]: This is the sentence that I moved up to the top to start off my topic.

Walmart, a company that is so indelibly American, might now have an experience that is any different.” Because China has such cheap labor, and such a massive population, demand for goods is high, and Walmart can pay very little to run its business. Even though Walmart states

Comment [K5]: Needed a comma

that it’s a “green” company, Schell states, “that inefficiency and waste were omnipresent, even in a notoriously stingy company like Walmart, with the waste not only damaging the environment, but damaging the company’s bottom line as well.” Schell seems to be approaching his audience with a persuasive approach, trying to use as much information as possible to display his point of Comment [K6]: This was irrelevant to the ending of this paragraph.

view. The article "How Walmart is Changing China," shows how big multibillion dollar companies like Walmart are actually destroying the environment.

Comment [K7]: I deleted this because it was off topic


It is significant to the fact that even though a company like Walmart is actually helping the economy of China, its continuing to destroy the environment around China. So one might ask, is it worth it? One idea that might be taken from this is why we establish companies in

Comment [K8]: I highlighted this because I thought I did a good job describing the point of view of the author.

China when we owe so much money to them. Schell argues, “some of the very best qualities in our country—hard work, the spirit of enterprise, fair dealing, and integrity,” are values that America holds strongly to be a powerful nation. Then why do we have to establish companies in foreign countries? Back to what Schell says earlier, it all has to do with cheap labor. With labor cost continuing to go up in the U.S., other companies will continue to move to other countries. Schell does an excellent job making the reader focus on the consequences of moving companies moving to foreign areas. Whether its pollution or cheaper labor cost, American companies will continue to move their establishment else where for cheap labor despite the environmental costs.

Comment [K9]: I rewrote this sentence like this because I focused on one thing so I stayed on topic and by also doing this I made sure it wasn’t vague.


Most Successful AR Walmart & China: The Environmental Crisis Schell, Orville. “How Walmart is Changing China.” Atlantic Magazine. The Atlantic Foundation, December 2011. Web. 27 January 2012. In the article “How Walmart is Changing China" written by Orville Schell, Schell argues with WalMart establishing a basis in China, he believes that the two will create an environmental crisis. . Schell states, “But one thing is already clear: how Walmart and China interact with each other over the next decade will be critical to the fate of the planet’s environment.” China has a massive population. There are over nineteen cities that have over a million people living in them, and the cities are filled with pollution.. Schell states, “So one might plausibly wonder why Walmart, a company that is so indelibly American, might now have an experience that is any different.” Because China has such cheap labor, and such a massive population, demand for goods is high, and Walmart can pay very little to run its business. Even though Walmart states that it’s a “green” company, Schell states, “that inefficiency and waste were omnipresent, even in a notoriously stingy company like Walmart, with the waste not only damaging the environment, but damaging the company’s bottom line as well. It is significant to the fact that even though a company like Walmart is actually helping the economy of China, its continuing to destroy the environment around China. So one might ask, is it worth it? One idea that might be taken from this is why we establish companies in China when we owe so much money to them. Schell argues, “some of the very best qualities in our country—hard work, the spirit of enterprise, fair dealing, and integrity,” are values that America holds strongly to be a powerful nation. Then why do we have to establish companies in foreign countries? Back to what Schell says earlier, it all has to do with cheap labor. With labor cost continuing to go up in the U.S., other companies will continue to move to other countries. Schell does an excellent job making the reader focus on


companies moving to foreign areas. Whether its pollution or cheaper labor cost, American companies will continue to move their establishment else where for cheap labor despite the environmental costs.


Harris 1 Least Successful Essay Technology: The World of the Future Levy, Steven. “Steven Levy on Facebook, Spotify and the Future of Music.” Wired. Wired Magazine, 21 October 2011. Web. 28 January. In his article “Steven Levy on Facebook, Spotify and the Future of music,” Steven Levy explains the significance of the social internet empire Facebook wanting to one day join forces with Spotify (a music download website) to create the most magnificent music sharing experience ever imaginable. He states in his article, “I’m not part of the past; I’m part of the future.” One of Steven’s main discussions in his article is the advancement of technology. Technology is involved in our every day to day life. Being a student at Gainesville State college, having to commute every day can be aggravating, so having a car, a phone, and a computer is very helpful to make the life of a college student easier. Understanding the importance of technology is critical to the way the world works.It is important to realize that without

Comment [K1]: I reworded the sentence because it was vague at the time when I used the word “it,” so by doing this it made it more understandable.

technology, the world that we work on would philosophically, just stop turning. We are able to help educate the kids of the future better with the placement of technology in schools, becauseschools; because with the advancement going at a rapid pace, technology it is important

Comment [K2]: I had two sentences combined, so I needed to separate them with a semi-colon.

to educate the kids on properly using the skills that are provided to them with technology.

Comment [K3]: “It” is very vague so I replaced it with technology

Technology as itself is never constant. Technology It evolves everyday to become more advance

Comment [K4]: I deleted this because I thought it was an unnecessary statement.

every second and replaces something I guess people would call, “out of date.” As we look back

Comment [K5]: Replaced “it” with “technology” because “it” is vague.

at the older generations, we are slowly starting to see them fall far behind with being compatible

Comment [K6]: This made more since to me structuring it this way.

with the technology of today. So why is technology so important within our schools? Why do we have to have it, and an important issue is, who really uses it?


Harris 2 I was brought into a world that was going at a supersonic speed with when it came to the

Comment [K7]: Made it less vague

advancements of technology. Starting out, I lived on a chicken farm. In better understanding how chicken houses workIf you don’t know about chicken farms back in the day, they do did not require I guess what most wouldyou could call technologically advanced systems to run them.

Comment [K8]:

Also during this point, I was being home schooled by my mother, who insisted that I would not be “exposed,” to the real world. But with the absence of the real world, I was slow to develop

Comment [K9]: No comma

technological experience, besides a tractor and a four-wheeler. When I was approaching my freshman year of high school, I had a teacher in my world history class who was I guess what you could say was very out of date. His nickname was “Doc,” and all he did was lecture. He

Comment [K10]: Completely pointless having all of that in the sentence.

stood behind his podium and talked the whole hour and fifteen minutes with his lesson. If you wouldn’t know, this was really boring to me and the other students is really boring to the normal

Comment [K11]: I added my experience because that is the most important.

student. We all struggled to keep up with is lectures;, trying to take notes without a PowerPoint

Comment [K12]: Added a Simi-colon to make the sentences join together.

was hard for us because we literally had to write our own notes. During his class, I struggled having to keep up with his teachings and lessons. Entering my Freshmen year, I tried taking as many computer classes that I could, and I made sure that my cluster for high school was business, so that I could be around computers all the time so that I could master the skills of using one. This is when I met my Computer Apps teacher Ms. Drew. She really inspired me to explore technology and use it in many ways. Experiencing this, I realize that technology is key to the future.

Comment [K13]: I deleted this because it was irrelevant to my setup.

During my education in high school, teachers did not seem to be interested in much technology. To teachers, standing behind a podium and lecturing for over an hour is easier thaen learning the aspects of technology. It’s extremely irritating sitting there with nothing but a piece of paper and a pencil between my fingers listening to the teachers just sit there and ramble. Do

Comment [K14]: Spell correction


Harris 3 teachers wonder why so many students get diagnosed with ADHD? The lack of being diverse in the classroom is causing kids (like me) to become less attentive. With the help of technology, kids would be able to pay better attention in the classrooms. Instead of just doing a lecture, why not throw up a PowerPoint presentation with pictures to help better demonstrate the topic, because studies are showing that teens are more visual learners. With the development of

Comment [K15]: I believe this is some of my best with explaining my POV.

SmartBoards, kids can become more involved with hands on projects with applying them with their learning or projects. SmartBoards really helped me to become more involved with technology with Ms. Drew. She taught us not with just visual aspects, but with hands on learning because the SmartBoard allows people to touch the screen and select things without having to stand near the computer the whole time. We the students really pushed our teachers to use the smart boards in other ways that they never thought of using them before. Due to the lack of technology is schools, teachers themselves are unskilled with the use of technology, but also with many teachers being an older generation, the spark to wanting to learn aspects of technology are very weak because technology can seem very intimidating., and that was the problem with Doc. This is why I struggled learning in Doc’s class, and why the understanding of

Comment [K16]: I deleted this so I could add the last sentence.

was difficult.

Comment [K17]: I added this sentence to help clarify that the main point is that my teacher was hard to understand because he was so informal technological wise.

With generations getting older, technology can be somewhat mind blowing to see some of the things that are being put out in the market of technology. In my middle and high school

Comment [K18]: I deleted this because it was of topic

years, there were many teachers who did not have a forte with technology. These are Tthe

Comment [K19]: Vague Comment [K20]: Needed to be capitalized

teachers that I was talking about who would stand behind the podium for over an hour and lecture the whole time like my History teacher Doc. No PowerPoint’s, no visual aids, nothing! With technology moving at a fast rate, the older generations are falling behind and fast. Doc didn’t use a computer, not even a projector; he just stood in front of the class and lectured. So


Harris 4 we convinced him to start using his computer and to create a PowerPoint for one of his lectures. Once he developed his first PowerPoint, all of his lectures from then on had a PowerPoint. What technology all comes down to is intimidation. Older people are intimidated by the advances of

Comment [K21]: I deleted this because it seemed irrelevant

technology because they say they just can’t do it. But with the help of younger generations, we could help people develop better skills to master technology. and make it easier to cope with day

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to day life.

Comment [K23]:

All though I experienced teachers like Doc, teachers like Ms. Drew helped me to understand the importance of technology that helped me to better educate myself. The skills that I managed have really benefited me with college in the applications of doing my work. But learning technological skills outside of school is important in becoming more efficient with the way the world works. , college would be difficult not being able to do research, communicating

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with professors and other students. I hope to carry my skills with me so that I can be more efficient with my work. Because of the advancement of technology, we can only hope that schools will start to catch up back into the twenty-first century, and start becoming more advance not just to become more sufficient, but to help our students become more involved so that they can stay attached to learning and to have better grades and to be successful in life. Understanding and realizing the importance of technology is important. Technology is a liable asset and should be mastered. We must understand that our school systems are lacking in technology, and that it’s effecting they way that our kids learn in the classroom. I am currently majoring in Computer Sciences, and technology has a big influence in my decision of choosing my profession. I am constantly researching on the internet, and working on programs for programming computers. Technology continues to grow more advanced every minute of every day, and also continues to make our lives just a little bit easier. Technology is key to the future

Comment [K25]: I deleted this because it didn’t seem logical and it was irrelevant


Harris 5 not just to make our lives easier, but to help us grow into self sufficient people who can accomplish anything by mastering the skills that we need to know. We can only hope that technology will start in our school systems, to help our kids of the future become great at everything they do.


Harris 6 Works Cited Levy, Steven. “Steven Levy on Facebook, Spotify and the Future of Music.� Wired. Wired Magazine, 21 October 2011. Web. 28 January.


Most Successful Essay Technology: The World of the Future Levy, Steven. “Steven Levy on Facebook, Spotify and the Future of Music.” Wired. Wired Magazine, 21 October 2011. Web. 28 January. In his article “Steven Levy on Facebook, Spotify and the Future of music,” Steven Levy explains the significance of the social internet empire Facebook wanting to one day join forces with Spotify (a music download website) to create the most magnificent music sharing experience ever imaginable. He states in his article, “I’m not part of the past; I’m part of the future.” One of Steven’s main discussions in his article is the advancement of technology. Technology is involved in our every day to day life. Being a student at Gainesville State college, having to commute every day can be aggravating, so having a car, a phone, and a computer is very helpful to make the life of a college student easier. Understanding the importance of technology is critical to the way the world works. We are able to help educate the kids of the future better with the placement of technology in schools; because with the advancement going at a rapid pace, technology is important to educate the kids on properly using the skills that are provided to them with technology. . Technology evolves every day and replaces something I guess people would call, “out of date.” As we look back at the older generations, we are slowly starting to see them fall far behind with being compatible with the technology of today. So why is technology so important within our schools? Why do we have to have it, and an important issue is, who really uses it? I was brought into a world that was going at a supersonic speed with advancements of technology. Starting out, I lived on a chicken farm. In better understanding how chicken houses work, they do not require I guess what most would call technologically advanced systems to run them. Also during this point, I was being home schooled by my mother, who insisted that I would not be “exposed” to the real world. But with the absence of the real world, I was slow to develop technological experience, besides a tractor and a four-wheeler. When I was approaching my freshman year of high


school, I had a teacher in my world history class who was out of date. His nickname was “Doc,” and all he did was lecture. He stood behind his podium and talked the whole hour and fifteen minutes with his lesson. If you wouldn’t know, this was really boring to me and the other students. We all struggled to keep up with is lectures; trying to take notes without a PowerPoint was hard for us because we literally had to write our own notes. During his class, I struggled having to keep up with his teachings and lessons. Entering my Freshmen year, I tried taking as many computer classes that I could, and I made sure that my cluster for high school was business, so that I could be around computers all the time so that I could master the skills of using one. This is when I met my Computer Apps teacher Ms. Drew. During my education in high school, teachers did not seem to be interested in much technology. To teachers, standing behind a podium and lecturing for over an hour is easier than learning the aspects of technology. It’s extremely irritating sitting there with nothing but a piece of paper and a pencil between my fingers listening to the teachers just sit there and ramble. Do teachers wonder why so many students get diagnosed with ADHD? The lack of being diverse in the classroom is causing kids (like me) to become less attentive. With the help of technology, kids would be able to pay better attention in the classrooms. Instead of just doing a lecture, why not throw up a PowerPoint presentation with pictures to help better demonstrate the topic, because studies are showing that teens are more visual learners. With the development of SmartBoards, kids can become more involved with hands on projects with applying them with their learning or projects. SmartBoards really helped me to become more involved with technology with Ms. Drew. She taught us not with just visual aspects, but with hands on learning because the SmartBoard allows people to touch the screen and select things without having to stand near the computer the whole time. We the students really pushed our teachers to use the smart boards in other ways that they never thought of using them before. Due to the lack of technology is schools, teachers themselves are unskilled with the use of technology, but also with many teachers being an older generation, the spark to wanting to learn aspects of technology are very weak because technology


can seem very intimidating. This is why I struggled learning in Doc’s class, and why the understanding of was difficult. In my middle and high school years, there were many teachers who did not have a forte with technology. The teachers that I was talking about who would stand behind the podium for over an hour and lecture the whole time like my History teacher Doc. No PowerPoint’s, no visual aids, nothing! With technology moving at a fast rate, the older generations are falling behind and fast. Doc didn’t use a computer, not even a projector; he just stood in front of the class and lectured. So we convinced him to start using his computer and to create a PowerPoint for one of his lectures. Once he developed his first PowerPoint, all of his lectures from then on had a PowerPoint.. Older people are intimidated by the advances of technology because they say they just can’t do it. But with the help of younger generations, we could help people develop better skills to master technology. All though I experienced teachers like Doc, teachers like Ms. Drew helped me to understand the importance of technology that helped me to better educate myself. The skills that I managed have really benefited me with college in the applications of doing my work. But learning technological skills outside of school is important in becoming more efficient with the way the world works , college would be difficult not being able to do research, communicating with professors and other students. I hope to carry my skills with me so that I can be more efficient with my work. Because of the advancement of technology, we can only hope that schools will start to catch up back into the twenty-first century, and start becoming more advance not just to become more sufficient, but to help our students become more involved so that they can stay attached to learning and to have better grades and to be successful in life. Technology is a liable asset and should be mastered. We must understand that our school systems are lacking in technology, and that it’s effecting the way that our kids learn in the classroom. I am currently


majoring in Computer Sciences, and technology has a big influence in my decision of choosing my profession. I am constantly researching on the internet, and working on programs for programming computers. Technology continues to grow more advanced every minute of every day, and also continues to make our lives just a little bit easier. Technology is key to the future not just to make our lives easier, but to help us grow into self sufficient people who can accomplish anything by mastering the skills that we need to know. We can only hope that technology will start in our school systems, to help our kids of the future become great at everything they do.


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