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RULE 1: IT’S NEVER A FAUX PAS IN FRESHERS’ WEEK It has arrived people. The most significant week of

The best guide to that most wankered of weeks.

6 - ARTS

your entire unI experience. A week of drunken antics, shameless fornication and relentless partying. But, perhaps most importantly, a week you shall never remember. And that, my fledgling freshers, is the beauty of it.

Take a trip through time with our art team.


London’s coolest clubs to save you from Walkies.


Beauty, boutiques and the best dressed on campus.

12 - FILM

We’re on location...London locations.


All the King’s Men....cracking or crap?






And maybe you want another scene where the culture is slightly more reserved, so head over to the Feminist society meeting at Camden, where female poets will be recited. Who doesn’t love a good rendition of Daddy by Miss Plath? Indeed, you may even see my soon-to-be-published friend and fellow King’s student, Megan Beech. An amazing female performance poet. Not that I’m biased.

Dedications aside, welcome to the first issue of Rated R., King’s new culture magazine! We have exciting plans ahead and would love for you all to be a part of them. Send us articles, follow us on social media, and most of all keep reading guys! KCL’s cultural revolution (and evolution starts here!)

If you do, however, fancy visiting some clubs that are not on our fresher’s calendar, for goodness sakes, go to them. The Nest, for example, is an extremely unpleasant underground club, where you unwillingly sweat profusely, whilst they no doubt catch you on camera. It was one of my best fresher nights out. You see, when on the floor dancing – a verb I’m using very loosely for how I move when tanked - you burn off all the weight you’ve put on through late-night Mcdonalds visits. Deny it all you want my friends. That big red M will be your salvation every morning at 3am. I’ll tell you that for nothing.


THANKS TO. Sophie Wells, our model for the cover and feature, who stood in cold, rainy Trafalgar Square dressed as a zombie with true undead class. Matt Capon, who resisted every urge just to slap us and allowed us to get the issue out. Fiona Moss, whose post-photoshoot cup of tea was possibly my highlight of the entire process. Mary Berry, whose Bake Off presence and sassy wardrobe gave us hope through many late night design sessions.

Perhaps if you’re looking for a night out that doesn’t involve outrageously high heels, or the deafening socalled music from Skrillex, you could go searching for one of London’s little gems. My personal favourite is a little dwelling called The London Cocktail Club on Goodge Street. A small, below-street-level bar, with timeless tunes and good-looking waiters, who when given the right provocation will dance on the bar for you. It’s a little jewel, hidden away from crowds, where you can enjoy good conversation over a few Vodka Martinis. Each.


Firstly, bravo for joining Kings. You now have the whole of London on your doorstep. Without any of the pretentious condescension of other London universities I shall not name. They know who they are. Moving on, whilst I do not feel able to personally take you through a recount of my own fresher’s stint - for one must have some discretion, and as a result dignity - I can offer some guidance through your imminent week of inebriation. If you haven’t already bought your ticket for the opening night of freshers at Ministry of Sound – do it! They’re being sold on the KCLSU website. Admittedly I haven’t been back to the place since that very first night – a little oversized for my taste, when utterly sloshed, one does not wish to stagger through five different rooms to locate the treacherous friends that were supposed to be holding one’s hair back – but it was a fantastic evening to meet people. As for the rest of the week, don’t feel constrained to what King’s is offering you. Absolutely go to the school disco at Piccadilly Institute if you want to. What girl doesn’t love to transform into a slutty Britney for the night, and what guy doesn’t love to behold such transformations?

Lone wolves. Good Guns n’ Roses albums. People with number fetishes. These are all things that come in ones. And in this illustrious company we must add this issue of Rated R., which next time it comes to you will most likely have a startlingly different design, team and format. Call this a pilot, a testament to an amazing team who unfortunately were pulled apart too soon. This issue is dedicated to you, whether you stay with us into next year or stay with Roar!, as well as being dedicated to KCL Student Media for releasing it when it looked like our work would be for nothing, and to everyone who wants better cultural coverage in KCL.





And so there you have it freshers of 2013. The culture of your first week at King’s. Destroy your livers. Use up your entire packet of Paracetamol. Repeatedly claim “I will never drink again”. Ultimately, ruin yourselves for the first week of studying. And love every minute of it. Live long and prosper my little first years. London’s waiting for you. LILY PALLANT

‘Destroy your livers. Repeatedly claim “I will never drink again”’




Weeee, like to drink with Rebecca, ‘cause What? Rebecca is our mate Guys what is this? And when we drink with Rebecca I just bought a new drink? She gets it down in 8 WHAT?! 7 No 6 I can’t down wine! 5 Guys seriously stop! 4 Fuck 321 Gahhhh. Oh my. I enjoy reminiscing about Freshers’ Week, but I do not indulge in nostalgia. Despite the good times, this joyful week of uninterrupted intoxication, is not one I yearn to return to. This is for one reason in particular: I am not prepared (I say this now but watch me re-fresh) to lose in one week, the manners I built up over a lifetime. No, really. Coming into London and straight from Enrolment Day to my new accommodation - or shall we say pigeonhole, I had the pleasure of meeting a new friend right away. With so many interests in common, my roommate and I also shared a distaste for binge drinking and antisocial behaviour. Naturally, the same evening we take off in good spirits, walk into a room full of strangers and get mutually plastered. Doing all the things we had proudly established we had ‘outgrown’ I was now too paraplegic to even purchase an entry ticket. Waking up next morning, I had little dignity left. The rest of the week was spent untagging myself from photographs and making excuses for my antisocial behaviour night after night. Nevertheless not all was negative. For instance, I established a technique by which to pour my own pints from over the counter, and distribute these self-help drinks to strangers, only to make best friends with people I no longer greet on the street. I also familiarised with the joys of undoing student’s costumes, such as togas and school-uniform outfits (which is one of these great excuses for students to get practically naked). Though karma was around the corner and soon enough I had my own Toga stripped off in Tutu’s. The struggle that followed did not exactly depict the gracefulness of ancient Romans. Yet even when sober (when?) I struggled with my new ambiguous personality. Everybody was just so interesting! I came to King’s thinking I had seen and done quite a few things. Seeing all the greatest Alumni along the Strand wall did not exactly build my self-esteem, nor did meeting people with quadruple nationalities, or former JP Morgan interns. To stand out, I would have had to invent a bloody time machine! But I suppose letting go of some of my dignity, had also meant letting go of some of that ego. After all I was here to learn (amongst others) and meet people. Here I realised, with so many brilliant people around me, I’d rather be at the bottom of the top, than top of the bottom!




“She spent the rest of Freshers’ Week adamantly denying she was the girl who threw up in her hair. ”

It was undeniable; Freshers’ Week was my destiny, my calling, my raison d’être. At long last this fabled week of ruin, the prophesised coming of age, the foundation upon which my whole university career would be built upon was approaching me. Many questions ran through my mind before departing Yorkshire. What would I make of my first week in London? Would I be anointed with the notorious ‘freshers flu’? Was I to be blessed with the coveted badge of honour that comes in the guise of a snotty nose? I certainly hoped so. Would I bask in seven glorious days of hangover, melodramatically to curse my throbbing headache after getting well and truly battered with my new close companions and posting the results on Facebook? I craved for it to be the case. Yet, in reality Freshers was everything my wide eyed-self wasn’t expecting it to be. As with any fantasy, sexual or not, it’s a universal fact that they rarely provide the goods. This was certainly the case during my first week at King’s. Contrary to what I was anticipating it was not comparable to every video that Ke$ha has ever put on YouTube. Why? Because hangovers are brutal, hitting the bottle every night costs dollar and you will forever regret that picture taken for your student card (or at least I will anyway).


RULE 4: LEARN FROM POSTGRAD WISDOM It’s been a long time since I was a fresher; five years in fact. However, one would hope that now I’m a world-wise post-grad I’d have some wisdom to pass on to you fresh-faced first-years. I do, but where most advice comes from experience mine comes from a lack of it. My Freshers’ Week was distinctly uneventful. Hindsight has taught me that it was all my own fault: I didn’t jump into Freshers’ Week when I could and before I knew it it had passed me by. Take it from (lack of) experience, kid, it doesn’t last long and it’s full of unmissable opportunities.

I attempt this maiden column with my own freshers experience veiled deep in the mists of time and- three years later- from the perspective of a refresher. I arrived back in Bow a month ago after a year spent avoiding any kind of endeavor in Gay Paree, followed by a brief, poverty-induced sojourn chez les parents in the depths of rural North Wales (which mainly consisted of consuming numbing amounts of gin, recording every movement of my deeply eccentric parents for future novel fodder and generally feeling a bit like Dustin Hoffman in the opening scene of The Graduate. Magical).

It is all brilliantly exciting, even a wallflower like me couldn’t fail to notice that. You arrive with all your worldly possessions stuffed into the car and the keys to your new digs clutched in your hand, your parents wish you a teary goodbye and suddenly you’re free to live your life as you want to live it. Perhaps you haven’t quite worked out how to do that yet, maybe you’re still a little unsure how to cook rice or whether it’s best to buy bio or non-bio washing powder, but whatever. The freedom is exciting all the same. The prospect of starting your subject also has a certain thrill to it. You’ve been thinking about it all through upper sixth and it could even be the start of a life-long career, so finally being about to start is pretty exciting.

Having been dragged away kicking and screaming from London exactly a year ago, I arrived back in the capital then feeling more than a little dazed and tried to remind myself of how pleasant it would be to have easy access to Marmite, Ryvita and linguistic superiority. I smiled sweetly at my fellow passengers, breathed deep the stagnant, clarty air and power walked at Change-at-Bank pace towards my beloved old 205. I was home.  Then I caught sight of the rows of flaccid, anemic Delice de France croissants in the Ticket Hall and I died a little inside.

Having said that, Freshers’ week was certainly fun, a lot of fun, and it taught me valuable lessons, two of which you need to know. Firstly, during Freshers you are given seven days and seven days only during which it is okay to visit the likes of Picadilly Institute, Zoo Bar, Vodka Revs and Cable. This is your free pass allowing you to understand that it is definitely not okay to go to these places, ever. After this you may bid adieu to your self-respect if you find yourself busting a move with the hordes of hen-dos and stag-weekends that descend upon central London every Friday and Saturday.

For some, the excitement and unprecedented freedom can be hard to handle - a friend reacted to her new independence by eating nothing except a Co-Op vegetable samosa then drowning her liver in cheap booze at the first event. She spent the rest of Freshers’ Week adamantly denying she was the girl who threw up in her hair. Worse than that though, you could react the way I did: hide in your room and pretend you have fresher’s flu. In my defence, Freshers’ Week is a daunting test of one’s social ability. I mean, seriously, what do you ask after ‘Where are you from? What course are you taking? What A Levels did you do?’? But my advice to anyone tempted to react the same way as me is: fight the fear.

Secondly, you must become acquainted, with dizzying rapidity, the night bus routes. Although you may feel like the cross-Atlantic version of Carrie Bradshaw when you hail a black cab, you won’t be feeling so footloose and flirty when the meter racks up your weekly food allowance as you speed down Tottenham Court Road. Therefore, top up that Oyster and enter the circus ground that is every bus in London post 1am.

There’s so much to do and learn. For starters, there’s all the new slang to get use to, then you’ve got to learn your way around the mazelike campuses. For some of you too, this will be your first time in the Big Smoke. London is a sprawling concrete monster, but it’s also the liveliest and most diverse city in Europe. Freshers’ Week is your chance to sample the city and the university before essays start eating up your time.

So if Freshers wasn’t what I expected it to be and if it opened my eyes to how shit central London clubs could be whilst ravaging my bank balance, why do I look back so fondly upon that week? Basically, I made some great mates. Whether it was over a box of 20 chicken nuggets with someone from halls after a lacklustre party or whilst shielding a girl from view as she had a cheeky wee outside Tutu’s. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Freshers’ Week was all about the people for me and it should be the same for all you newbies!

So sign up for everything, from student media to the Green Fingers Society: you never know, when you’re recovering from the festivities a bit of gardening might be exactly what you need. Freshers’ events can get a bit raucous, but go anyway, they really are a great way to meet people. If risking tinnitus is really not your thing, (it wasn’t mine either) use the week to explore London on one of the KCLSU tours, go to the events and performances put on by the student societies, use your new student card to visit the galleries... whatever you do, relax, enjoy yourself and don’t hide. Opportunities reappear if we’re lucky, but there’s nothing quite as satisfying as seizing them the first time round.

So go forth, meet as many people as you can, witness the might of Walkabout and welcome to King’s!


“Contrary to what I was anticipating it was not comparable I VIDEO” To every KESHA



After a year in Paris it seemed, I had genuinely been converted into one of those erstwhile most-despicable of human beings: a London Hater… As someone who spent a childhood in a town famous only for giving the world Rhys Ifans and a memorial to racing driver Tom Pryce that bares a startling resemblance to one of Gaddafi; London had been my ambition ever since the tragic realisation that my dreams of being a Country singer were futile due to a vague geographical impediment. London had been my mecca; my Olympus; my Promised Land… I came to London three years ago and spent Freshers’ Week being bowled over by the Waitrose within walking distance (I had never seen one). Even the terrible staples of freshers couldn’t quell my wide-eyed astonishment; no amount of foam parties, f*ck me parties, toga parties or even Tiger Tiger parties could sully London- even if I look back on them with horror. If you’re anything like I was (a total hick straight out of Hardy) every single second will be one of unimaginable excitement and fantastic stupidity. You will think it is necessary to get the tube from Russell Square to Holborn. You will lose your phone/friends/ shoes/dignity in Fabric/Proud/insert-staplefreshers-club-here. But you will love every second of it, because you are in the greatest city in the world despite every single floppy, faux-croissant Euston has to offer. The simple fact is that after one month back in London, I’m already sloping back into Prêt to indulge in overpriced sarnies, and I’m already losing consciousness of a world outside the of the M25 and losing weekends to Bussey Building hedonism when I should have been writing this column. In the words of Charles Ryder, the protagonist of Brideshead Revisited: ‘I had been there before; I knew all about it’. Back to great, sprawling, ugly, breathtaking, magnificent, ancient London. To all the freshers then, from one lovesick refresher: Welcome to a week of questionable taste and a lifetime of wonder.





Taken some good snaps? Seen something we Join us on a historical tour through London’s most iconic venues... need to know about? Email arts.ratedr@


BUILT: 1720 WHAT’S ON: Celebrity

WHAT’S ON: A Midsummer Night’s Dream (until 12th Oct)

organ recitals, in addition to the standard tours

COST: £5 tickets for the

COST: £5 yard tickets (standing like the peasants used to), and from £15 seated

recital on Time Out London’s website, with normal concession entry being £13




Southwark, but an easy walk from Waterloo

NEAREST TUBE: South Kensington


Born from the Great Exhibition of 1851, the V&A houses the largest collection of art and design in the world, containing over 4.5 million objects spanning over 50,000 square metres. The collection traverses 5,000 years of art; from fashion to ancient architecture to ceramics of the Islamic Middle East. Although often overlooked, with free entry and the tea room worth a visit alone, the V&A ranks as a definite must amongst the myriad of London attractions.Unless focused on a particular passion you already harbour, paying the extra for specific exhibitions isn’t really worth it, as there’s enough in the main galleries to excite fresh curiosity visit after visit. A collection as vast as the V&A’s will never cease to reveal new


BUILT: 1893 WHAT’S ON: Lowry and the Painting of Modern Life (£14.50 conCOST: You can mill about for free, but exhibitions usually cost NEAREST TUBE: Pimlico


Proudly hosting a vast collection of historic and contemporary British art, The Tate Britain offers a mesmerising meander through our nation’s history. Behind the iconic stone pillars you can find the largest collection of Turner’s work, including the Turner Bequest, located in the Clore Gallery. The atmosphere of awe radiating from gallerygoers, some of whom you can tell have traveled from all over to visit our 116-year-old gallery, is practically tangible. Access to the permanent collection is free (our favourite word), with charging temporary exhibitions normally offering about a £2 student discount. While these are usually relatively pricey (think £10-£15), they will knock your arty socks off. ‘Lowry and the Painting of Modern Life’, running until 20th October, is a stunning display of Lowry’s intriguing industrial landscapes and urban scenes. Grab your tickets, stroll down to Millbank and don’t forget to treat yourself to a £2.90 glass of rosé at the Millbank Café & Bar!


The winning painting is rubbish. There, I’ve said it. Am I basing this upon any expert knowledge I have? No! Of course not! I just don’t like it. Cue my justification. Portraits are so powerful due to their ability to convey a huge variety of human emotions, an ability which stems from facial expression being the most potent form of emotional communication between human beings. So, call me soppy, but I don’t think there is enough emotion in the winning portrait; it doesn’t challenge you to empathise with the subject. The ‘gossiping old women getting their hair done’ is much better.




BUILT: 1957-1963 (established 2000)

WHAT’S ON: Wander

around the permanent exhibits for free or visit: Meschac Gaba: Museum of Contemporary African Art (free, until 22nd September), Ibrahim El-Salahi: A Visionary Modernist (£11 adults, £9.50 concession, until 22nd September)




When the Tate Modern opened its doors for the first time in 2000 the British public were still unsure about modern art and no one was sure what to expect, but the investment’s certainly paid off! As the most visited modern art gallery in the world, this certainly isn’t a hidden gem but the often interactive installations in the Turbine Hall never fail to enthral even the biggest modern art sceptic. Even if modern art’s not really your thing, the café overlooking the Thames is the perfect place to hide away with a book and a hot drink as wintery weather draws in. With free entry, a fantastic location on South Bank close to the Globe and many KCL halls, it’s definitely worth popping along to the Tate Modern this semester!

Probably one of the best hidden treasures of London, as it’s off the beaten track that most tourists take. The museum was Soane’s house and occupies three houses: No. 12, 13 and 14 and is every bit quirky as Soane. In designing the houses, he made wonderful use of natural light, as it seeps through the coloured glass roof and falls upon the many objects, bringing them to life. The museum is lit up with candles on the first Tuesday of every month. It is the best way to appreciate its beauty, but the queues for the candlelight openings can be a mile long, so you must get there in good time!

Entry to the permanent collections is free with concession tickets to special exhibitions from £8. DAISY BARTLETT






hidden treasures literally. The museum holds introductory tours daily, as well as period and interest-specific talks and tours, all for free. Student exhibition tickets start at around £5. Go to to find out more.

join the Entry Pass scheme for £5 tickets to every NT show, both at the NT itself and its shows on the West End



Ali Pantony’s Top Tip: “NUS discounts are offered at most museums. Pearls at the V & A is £7 (saving £4.20) - 21st September 19th January”

COST: Students can

are free, but special exhibits are varying costs

oddities collected by Sir John Soane.

Review: Amen Corner, National Theatre

Rufus Norris directs a superbly cast ensemble in this compelling adaption of James Baldwin’s gospel drama, Amen Corner. Coinciding with the National’s celebration of black voices, this production clearly encapsulates the tensions that arise within an insular church community in Harlem during the 50s. This rousing adaption clearly demonstrates the power or religion in bringing together a community, as well as underlining the typically unobserved conflict that existed within the black community at the time. Combining superb performance by the likes of Oscar nominated actress Marianne Jean-Baptiste, with a chorus of ferocious singing voices, this performance is NOT to be missed.


Seen any amazing art recently we haven’t mentioned yet? Tweet us @ K C L R a t e d R #EditorsPicks for it to feature in next issue...

BUILT: 1976 WHAT’S ON: Liola (until 6th November, £12 tickets available), Edward II (until 26th October, £12 tickets available)

COST: Permanent exhibits

BUILT: 1792-1824 WHAT’S ON: An eclectic mix of the


the special exhibits will cost you entry

NEAREST TUBE: Charing Cross

cession, £13.10 without donation) until 20th October


COST: Free! But as with most museums,

BUILT: 1896 WHAT’S ON: BP Portrait Award 2013 (Free) COST: Free, some exhibitions free for members, but special exhibits will cost the general public

Let’s face it – St Paul’s is iconic. It’s up there with Big Ben and Buck House as ‘buildings which basically are London’. But it costs a lot to go waltzing in, so picking up tickets to an event like this series of “celebrity” organist recitals is great (apparently Timothy Walker is HUGE in the organ playing world). Turns out organ music for an hour and a half wasn’t my cup of tea, but I enjoyed the Bach. The acoustics were sensational. And with this ticket I saved about £20 (entry - £13, ticket - £10). Plus, got to see the stupendous architecture and the ostentatiously opulent interior décor of the cathedral – which is priceless.

Photo by @jessicamoffattowen

My first brush with Shakespeare’s Globe occurred when I nearly attended a Macedonian language Henry VI part 3 as part of last year’s Globe to Globe festival. Unfortunately (or perhaps mercifully), I didn’t make it in time. Later I went to a production of Henry the Fifth. I must confess, I’ve never felt an overriding interest in the life of Henry V (or Henry I, II, III or IV for that matter), but nevertheless thoroughly enjoyed it. Highlights included being jostled by rowdy, mud smeared ‘soldiers’ during battle scenes, and sniggering at the man in front of us, who laughed conspicuously at every joke, and loudly quoted along with the famous passages. The only low point was the rain, which steadily worsened, until everyone in the pit was drenched, shivering, and jealously eyeing their warm, dry counterparts who had forked out a bit extra for a covered seat.

most of the museum, with special exhibits also taking place regularly.





BUILT: 1863-1873 WHAT’S ON: All year round entry to



1599 originally, again in 1614, and where it now sits on the Southbank, in 1997

Ali Pantony’s Top Tip: An Under 26 Art Fund Pass costs £18.75 for a year, with 50% off of even free entry to over 200 museums and galleries.


Arts Editor Jessica’s Top 3 Websites for cheap tickets:

Polaroids by Samuel Spencer






The Roundhouse is my favourite of the larger venues. It has an interesting history where, despite being an old (yet beautiful) building, originally used for railways, it still has a modern feel. There’s a real spiritual aura too, with so many legendary bands having played there in the ‘60s and ‘70s, including The Doors and The Clash. It’s easy to get to, being within reasonable walking distance of Camden tube. Usually I’ll get the bus to Camden and then walk from there. The location is another thing I like about the venue: it manages to be near enough Camden to retain the musical history, but far enough to be away from the all tourist traps. Camden is great for post-gig drinks, as you’d expect, and I recommend the Lock Tavern and the Hawley Arms. The pubs in particular can be good. The Wheelbarrow is quite lively too, and if you’re struggling to find a space at the bar in the other places then it’s worth trying out. It often has great music on for Rock lovers.



It’s hardly diamante but before I go on I must mention The Macbeth in Hoxton, which occupies a special dark corner of my heart. It’s endearingly grotty, but fun. Unfortunately it’s closing down, so I’d recommend everybody check it out before it goes.

If you’re looking for something raw and soulful on a night out in London, an antidote to the blood and thunder of trend-obsessed hipster hangouts, then a humble club night by the name of How Does it Feel to be Loved? might well set you on fire.

Café Oto is next choice. It’s a bit more serious, frequently putting on free jazz amongst other genres. It has a great selection of wines and foreign beers which you wouldn’t usually find in other venues, and is right by Dalston Junction, so neatly placed for travel.

The clubnight is run by ex-Melody Maker writer Ian Watson, and rings with the poetry of outsider pop music, affectionately merging Motown classics and obscurities with the classics of popular indiepop and the kind of awkward, often shambling guitarbased indiepop music that’s been left in the shadows by the market-driven mainstream music media.

I mean it’s no rockabilly stomp night, and the beards and jam jar enthusiasts are out in force, but the music always surprises, even if it is on the aloof and experimental side for some. Plus, you can get tickets on the door most nights, so it’s not like you have to read Wire magazine religiously to pre-empt gigs and nab your tickets. I usually get the bus up to Dalston, and there’s plenty going on there at night, as you’d expect, with clubs like The Alibi and The Nest just around the corner.


HDIF also runs an occasional record fair from the (alas) soon-to-be closed Canterbury Arms pub in Brixton, where Pop enthusiasts can find all kinds of stuff that’s fallen off the edges of popular culture, as well as new music from the margins.


Running a club night here myself, I might be judged as biased for including the venue (strike me down with a giant inflatable banana), but if you’re looking for a place outside of the rub of trendy London clubs, with some genuine balls, a dose of humour and a bit of mischief, check out Paper Dress Vintage. It’s a Shoreditch boutique which by day is a favourite shopping haunt of Keira Knightly; by night a club that puts on a range of stuff from jive dancing and fashion illustration classes to rockabilly and swing jazz jamborees. Stumbling in on a late-night party here is like being beamed into a B52s video on LSD, the place swaying to vintage vinyl whilst everyone drinks from large fishbowl glasses. Shimmering spectre-like on the walls are a bunch of immaculate dresses from the 1920.

Although it’s not exactly a live music night, it certainly pulsates with the same kind of energy, so if you need a place to rock out and there’s nothing else on that tickles your fancy, check it out!

And if you don’t happen to be dancing, you’re likely to be perched on the seat of a hairdryer from the 50s. As a music venue, it’s the stuff of uncategorisable dreams.




Welcome to King’s, and to London, which stands as a centre for popular music. Everyone knows about the history, how London effectively spawned some of the most important artists of the last hundred years or so, but let’s drag our mosh-beaten bodies back to the present and focus on what’s most important: the way it is now. Now, we’re talking about the bridge between America and Europe for artists trying to make that gigantic Atlantic leap, and the place where the industry is (Polydor has its offices in West London, for example), thus making it a vital stomping ground for anybody wanting their material to be heard.


But I have to admit, there is a certain level of novelty when attending a club in Mayfair; you’re bound to bump into someone from TOWIE or Made In Chelsea, but at the same time, you’re bound to be spend-

ing £20 on a drink. I was, however, guaranteed free drinks all night on a Movida VIP table so we took the plunge and went along; free entry and free drinks for all girls - what does that tell you? Although this may seem great for the penniless, female studentt, can’t you hear the alarm bells ringing? Nonetheless, my experience in Mayfair did NOT give me free drinks all night as promised. Instead, I received

ONE free drink from my promised table, had to pay an entry fee of £10 and also (to keep my buzz) had to pay another £10 per drink at the bar away from the VIP area. I think these kind of nights are great for Londoners if you’re working in the City or some high end law firm, but for the first year history student who can’t afford a tin of beans? I don’t think so.

Daisy Howard


AND IF YOU JUST FEEL LIKE DANCING ... Alternative club nights for FRESHERS WANTING MORE The Nest, Dalston The Nest comprises of an underground dingy basement and an incredible sound system. The night frequented by me and my friends this year was called, rather parodically, ‘Your Mum’s House’. Although I was sceptical at first, it is actually really fun if you just go crazy and lose yourself to the music, which is what it’s all about! They play 90s hip hop and mix it with Trap, which I find mildly hilarious. The crowd is as you would expect in Dalston (East London): queeny, arty types who get really drunk on £2 shots, and who dress up like everyone is watching; expect flat caps, beanies and the occasional man in drag…!


Joe’s, Camden It’s important to remind oneself that piling into a small room with a ton of

similarly sweat-drenched beings, pushing inebriation levels to the brink and shaking it into the early hours to vintage classics is an incredibly fun thing to do. This is what Joe’s gives you - a myriad of tunes from all genres of the 50s and 60s, with an unpretentious and friendly clientelle, in an intimate setting. The formula is simple, but pretty unique amongst London clubs and bars, and makes for a great alternative night out.

There are more live venues here than anywhere in Europe, in fact London is only second to New York when it comes to the number of music events happening each night.

James Andrewes

Thus, we thought it only befitting at Rated R. to make visual the sprawling goldmine of little places you need to check out over the next year. We hope you enjoy this map, of course we don’t suggest that you use it to find your way around, but rather as a graphic representation of the sheer number of places we think you’ll enjoy. Oscar and I have asked a number of KCL students to tell us about their favourite venues, and whatever other advice they had to give. We’ve also asked people to think about where the best record stores are. Now I know that you will all get your music for free, snatched off the internet like the promotional goodies they churn out near Charing Cross station, but of course once Record Store Day comes around you will want to get in on the action, so keep these places in mind. We’ve detailed everything from the eccentric to the erotic here, and when the not-so-exclusive nights at Ministry take their toll, we’ve also got a list of alternative club nights which you’ll find showcasing the best new sounds in undergound dance music. Thrown in the mix are a couple of indie raves, something I missed out on as a fresher, but what I eternally yearned for.

When I got an invite to an event in Mayfair I thought just one thing: I am the Monopoly shoe! It was likely that I’d have to dress up in an extravagant dress, five-inch heels and act like posh-totty all night (note the word “act”).


On the map you’ll see that there is a large cluster of venues in the North and East areas of London, and these tend to be longest running venues. However, head south of the river and you’ll find an area which is ever growing, and with edgy and interesting venues and nights out, so keep your ears pressed close. At the same time, Camden and Islington have always historically had the largest number of venues, and this is the best bet for great live gigs and pubs playing nostalgic tunes. On the other hand, East London has over the last ten years or so become the place to go for hip nights out, but unfortunately it has become overrun with those that only dance to look cool. As such, it’s worth returning to the North for some real London sweatiness. See you on the floor!


Corsica Studios, Elephant & Castle

Corsica Studios spoil house lovers each Thursday night with their gift of Sessions, which promptly gained a large band of devotees and has continued to attract those from all over London, despite it’s Elephant location. Decor is minimal - a disco ball and fervid lighting, and with a modest capacity the club is favoured by a certain type of very serious partier.


Bussey Building, Peckham

The Bussey Building AKA The CLF Art Cafe on Peckham’s Rye Lane is a lively cultural centre for music, film, theatre and art. Nights here range from funk and disco to afrobeat and latin. Experimental but unpretentious, the majority are here for strictly what’s in the groove and not to dance around their handbags. South London Soul Train, their monthly sell-out funk, rare-groove and soul night keeps you stomping til 5am. The music dictates a student crowd so don’t expect to bump into your Dad here. If clubbing isn’t your bag, watch out for rooftop film screenings, comedy, theatre and dance.

Miles Russell

WHY BECOMING A PROMOTER IS THE WORST THING EVER As an innocent young fresher, the offer to ‘get paid to party’ may well

sound appetizing; what this translates to is ‘we will give you £X for every person you bring into the club’. What better way to make friends than to all go out and get drunk whilst you are getting paid for it?! This is called becoming a ‘promoter’.Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you do this for long enough most of your new ‘friends’ will start to think you are the worst person ever. You see, the concept is flawed. Say if you decide to start promoting: you make some friends at Freshers, and then tell them to come to this night you’re hosting at to have a laugh. Your new found friends come and have a bad night and you will be the one to blame (this

being their only impression of you). If it goes well, then sure, the first couple of events may seem really fun. However, soon the whole clubbing experience will become a chore and inviting your friends to the same club nights week in, week out will start to get really, really annoying, especially for them. This is most apparently manifested on social platforms such as Facebook and Twitter. The chance of all your friends wanting to come to the same club night every week is little to none – the result of this is alienation of your peers through ‘cyber-pressuring’, if that’s a term.

certainly begins to grind. It is like getting spam-mail, but in your Facebook calendar. A personal favourite is Mayfair club promoters. This comes with an abhorrent proliferation of guys posing with bottles of Grey Goose and tarted-up girls hanging off their shoulders.

”400 people unfriended me since I’ve been promoting”

Prime examples include ‘F*CK READING WEEK, LET’S LOVE VODKA’, ‘MINISTRY OF SOUND MILKSHAKE: ONE CRAZY PARTY’, or ‘EGG REFRESHERS CRAZIEST LONDON CLUBNIGHTS’. All these upper case letters give me a headache, and when you are invited to one every two days it

I asked one of them who I vaguely know about whether they think promoting gains or loses him friends: “If I’ve ever lost friends from being a promoter a lot of it stems down to jealousy of what I can get.” This shows clearly why people begin to hate on promoters, especially for Mayfair clubs.They want to be perceived as exclusive when the irony is that they are the ones inviting you to events 24/7, thus annulling the illusion of exclusivity that they try to achieve with their online personas. Indeed, he admits “I know people hate me for it, but you have to be fake

and be nice to everyone if you want them to come to your club.” To me this exposes the fatal flaw. Despite the fact that a promoter may seem to know everyone (by the number of friends they have on Facebook, for example), nearly all these people are peripheral acquaintances who they may not have even met in person, with the result that they will probably have less real friends than you or I. In this way, personal marketing really can be detrimental to maintaining your friendships. Another source, who promotes for Ministry of Sound, tells me that “400 people unfriended me since I’ve been promoting”. Thus my advice to you is that if you can help it, don’t sell your soul to the world of promoting - stay innocent an remain genuine. If you can’t help it for some strange reason, just don’t push it too much, or your close friends will soon become distant acquaintances.

Oscar king davies




Blitz (East London) - My personal favourite, Blitz allows you to sort out your wardrobe, your home, and drink a killer milkshake all in one visit. Blitz London is a huge space encased within an old Victorian warehouse, calling itself the ‘vintage department store’. Blitz is my go-to for quirky home decorations (it isn’t just a dead person’s plate, it’s a collector’s item) and vintage denim.


Think Christopher Kane, not The Expendables

Thanks to Annie Leibowitz and her new all-powerful female army (including Grace Coddington and Tracy Emin), Marks and Sparks is the new high street honey.


The climax of your beauty routine

WAG Elbow

When elbow ache ensues as a consequence of toting your heavy handbag, a la Coleen Rooney and co


Phone snubbing due to excessive social media commitments

It was Marlin Monroe who so famously said “pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together”. Indeed, a lipstick is a beauty staple; a go to product; a girl’s best friend. Most of us will automatically pick up their red sticks when we hear that bold lip color is in season for this Autumn/Winter. But if you want to be bang on trend then put that classic shade down ladies. The catwalks presented three different lip trends this season. From fuchsia florals at Dior, natural nudes at Burberry to the vampy tones at Jonathan Saunders, there was plenty to get your teeth (or should I say lips!) sunk into.

Lucy in Disguise (Soho) - The creation of sisters Lily Allen and Sarah Owen, this store will immerse you in eras past. Lucy in Disguise goes beyond the label of ‘thrift store’, offering you not just clothing, but also hair styling from The Drama Parlour, so you can complete your look.

Marks and Spencer



to me not just as an overflowing warehouse of vintage goodness, but also as a place where one can buy clothes by the bag. That’s right, pick up a £10 or £20 bag and fill it to the brim. This shop is thrift stores at their finest, inviting shoppers to jam as much as they can into their bags, and truly encouraging the rummaging approach to shopping, which is what vintage, to me, is all about.

Paying for your clothes by the bag rather than by item - helps those of us suffering from shoppers’ denial



East End Thrift Store (East London) - East End Thrift Store appeals

Clothes by the kG

Our Chief editor is obsessed with the androgynous model to a ridiculous degree [and definitely hasn’t hidden a picture of him on this page...]


The most exciting of these trends, and perhaps most likely to succeed, is that of the Vamp, a deep plum tone, which certainly sets the mood for a dark Autumn/Winter. A dramatic and bold look for the season I’ll admit, but as they say ‘those who dares

Rellik (West London)- A stone’s throw from Portobello Road, Rellik stocks women’s vintage fashion and accessories from all the way back to the 1930’s. Fab. With piles upon piles of vintage pieces, this place is a regular treasure trove, and will induce a fashgasm in those of us who love a chunky vintage cuff (don’t we all?).


Bang Bang Exchange (Central London) - with three locations avail-

Are we really that trend-led? Do we actually decide we can longer live without neon blocking, nor be seen dead in anything but sandal flatforms? No matter how hard Christopher Kane is pushing that camo print next season, do many of us drastically alter what we wear after each run of LFW shows?

able for your vintage-buying pleasure, Bang Bang is one of my go-to stores when I want to lust after designer finds from yesteryear. I frequent the Goodge Street store, where I’ve coveted item after item.


Fashion, for most, is a pick-‘n’-mix game, dabbling in particular trends depending on whether they complement our basic style (AKA tribal look). We venture from the tribe occasionally to hunt a snakeskin clutch, or sniff out a taupe fedora, but never wander too far from its main aesthetic. Fashion is not for every woman, so surely we should never invest in every trend. Which style tribe are you, and which trends will you be wearing this Autumn/ Winter 2013/14 season?



Your style icon is Bette Davis, you shop at Battersea car boot and your favourite night out is Itchy Feet. You, my dear, are the biggest fan of everything at least fifty years old, and pine for the days of Grease, Dior’s ‘New Look’ and when red lipstick reigned over nude for daylight hours. This season you’re in heaven. Louis Vuit-

It’s one step away from the public loos, people...

(up)Tight Fit

It’s all about the oversized this winter, so start stocking up on your boyfriend fit everything. Except your undergarments.

CHERYL COLE’S ASS TATTOO So trampy it should be holding a can of Special Brew

Keeping it simple in a buttoned-up white shirt, black jeans and the shoe of the year: a pair of tan desert boots; Ollie sticks to hardworking clothing that fits well. He delivers a striking look, drawing inspiration from Ricki Hall and Luke Ditella, but also from bicycle messengers and the sixties drama, Mad Men.

Name: Daisy Howard Age: 19 Spotted at: Strand

Daisy says she generally prefers to wear plain black and style it up with a statement piece such as this Levi’s jacket. There is definitely a vintage feel to this outfit. She has jumped on the trend of socks and sandals which adds a girly twist to the outfit, and acts as a tribute to one of her female rock icons, Joan Jett.

Got the top budget? Then Estée Lauder Pure Color Sensuous Rouge in Enticing Fuchsia should be your number one. This stick really will provide you with what is needed for this oh so sophisticated trend. At £21 this product is quite the investment. Topshop Beguiled is a top-rated product no matter what the budget. A plum, burgundy shade of red with a matte finish, it is perfect product to achieve the desired look. At £8 this is a must have. Finally, Barry M Lip Paint in shade 156 is the perfect, intense plum shade and only £4.49. A makeup look would not be complete without the perfect pout, so allow your lips to take centre stage this season.




Name: Oliver Ferris Age: 23 Spotted at: Strand


Name: Marco Or Age: 19 Spotted at: Waterloo

Marco has put together an outfit that screams AW’13, drawing inspiration from designers Philip Lim and Alexander McQueen, and emulating the style of his fashion icon, Steve McQueen. The waistcoat, bowler hat and sunglasses add a suave yet kooky aspect


ton sent some 1940s thriller-worthy offerings down the catwalk, with silky negligees worn underneath classic oversized coats and accessorized with deep berry-coloured pouts. The Prada show featured models with their equal share of drama. Artfully styled rain-drenched hair, belted hourglass silhouettes, and that blue and white check print that you last saw on the primary school playground. Also Get Inspired By: Bottega Venetta and Burberry Prorsum.


All other tribes wonder why you go shopping each season since you always appear to look the same. However, you know that with the minimalist look it is all about subtlety interesting fabrics, sharp cut and a range of hard-working separates. A bit like IKEA really - maybe that’s why Acne, the mid-range minimalist trove, also hails from Sweden. In your book, less is always more. Modern architectural phenomenons of the London skyline provide your fashion references, while alternative fabrics such as vinyl and colour blocking are all you need to make a statement. Stella McCartney, always the chic purveyor of simplicity, revealed a collection of androgy-

nous oversized coats, unfussy jumpsuits and muted wintry hues of charcoal grey and dark purple. Queen of Minimalism, Phoebe Philo, worked her, as Vogue labelled it “fashion purist”, magic at Celine. Fluted midi-skirts and cleverly draped dresses provided a very puttogether Parisian look – apart from racy flashes of thigh leather boots. Also Get Inspired By: 3.1 Phillip Lim and Jonathan Saunders.


You just love Hummingbird red velvet cupcakes, and you cannot wait to get hold of the new Mulberry Bayswater ‘zipped’, and darling are you going to Val d’Isere this winter? Life is one big Mahiki-whirlwind as you try to shake off your former Kate Middleton boardinghouse look, and style yourself a little bit more edgy-sloane like fashion stylist Phoebe LetticeThompson. SW7 may be your stomping ground and you only ever eat organic, but you get your hair done at Percy & Reed in east London, and want your fashion credentials appreciated. The catwalks did not shy away from luxurious looks this season. Emilio Pucci and Dolce & Gabbana opted for serious monastic opulence. The former flaunted Mayfair-friendly short hemlines, Jean Shrimpton-

style blunt fringes and drowned models in fur. Domenico and Stefano went that bit more regal, pioneering pea coats, lace and heavy embellishment.


East in this fashion game means Brick Lane and Dalston. You started partying when you were in the womb, and now show off your moves at XOYO and various warehouse raves. 1980s punk and Kate Moss circa 1993 are where you source your fashion ideas, as are record stores and Glastonbury. You have perfected your indie eyeliner flick and have ombréd your hair to death, yet looking grungily undone is the aim. Buy of the summer was the Topshop version of those Balenciaga cut-out boots to toughen things up. Cue Versace and Vivienne Westwood to step up to the rebellious mark. Donatella included punk references in the form of chains, PVC and zips, and dollops of yellow, throughout her collection. Vivienne appealed to the festival-loving crowd with a hippy/ tribal-inspired assortment of messy plaits, ethnic prints and an indulgent array of ‘homeless’ texture. Also Get Inspired By: Christopher Kane and Chanel.







FUN FILMY THINGS TO DO IN LONDON London is a fantastic city for many reasons, but it is my favourite place because of the variety of things there are to do. Particularly regarding one of my favourite hobbies, film and TV/celeb-stalking. So here is a list of ‘What’s Hot and What’s Not’ when it comes to enjoying the film industry in London Town.


Heading to the BFI for some escapism from Hollywood blockbusters, is just what is needed sometimes. Head to the BFI on the Southbank if you fancy exciting your eyeballs with something a little bit different and a little less mainstream. You might surprise yourself when you discover your new favourite genre is a black and white gangster film, in Spanish, with subtitles…


How do you fancy seeing some hot-totty strutting their stuff on the red carpet? Why not go to Leicester Square when a film premiere is happening and trying your luck at some celeb-spotting? You never know who you might meet…


Living and studying so close to TV studios means you could be on TV- for free! Shows are always looking to fill their audience seats, so do a little research for companies who provide free audience tickets, it’s so much fun!


Rushing to work along the Strand and, literally, bumping into James Corden who spills coffee down your coat. Yes, this really happened and yes, it was incredibly embarrassing. Let’s not talk about this anymore.


When your friend meets Tom Hardy and you don’t.


London cinema prices. I’m going to see a space movie not actually going to space!


LONDON’S THE LOCATION London has been a prime locaton for a number of exciting films over the years. So, to get you aquainted with London this year, Kyveli Short takes you around her pick of the top 5 films shot in London. Take a stroll around your new, famous home by reminscing with these big hits...



The title is the setting for this ultimate London film. Who hasn’t spent some time, wandering around the neighbourhood, looking for the iconic blue door or the Travel Book Company, hoping that they will bump into star-crossed lovers William Thacker (Hugh Grant) and Anna Scott (Julia Roberts)? If you haven’t, you will! Most of the filming takes place in and around Portobello Road, featuring guest appearances from the Ritz, the Savoy and Kenwood House. It is hard not to fall in love with this London-based rom-com.

Based on George Bernard Shaw’s original stage play Pygmalion, this multi-award winning musical follows simple flower girl Eliza Doolittle on her adventures in Edwardian London, as she takes high society by storm. Rex Harrison plays the arrogant phonetics Professor Henry Higgins, who bets he can turn the ravishing Audrey Hepburn’s Cockney accent into a ‘proper’ English one.

V FOR VENDETTA (2005) Granted, watching famous London landmarks being blown up might not be the most conventional way to become acquainted with a city but it certainly makes for a spectacular viewing, especially when the background music is Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. The film is set in London as a near-future dystopian society, where the British government is run by fascists. We follow V, an unlikely hero, on his journey for vengeance.

PASSPORT TO PIMLICO (1949) As a result of wartime bombing, the inhabitants of Pimlico discover an ancient parchment, proving that their section of London actually belongs to Burgundy, France. They decide to consolidate their hereditary independence from Britain by setting up a restriction-free state that is soon to become ration-hit and beleaguered. Actually shot in neighbouring Lambeth, this is a deceptively sharp and politically-minded film, dressed up as a light comedy. A film that truly celebrates the cosy sense of wartime togetherness.

Our beloved Mike Wazowski arrives at MU laden with suitcases and is greeted by a team of over-enthusiastic student ambassadors, an experience shared by many of us when moving into halls. The trick is to be nice... you will probably encountthem again at awkward flat meetings called in your kitchen. Moreover, they are the ones who come knocking when you and your hoards of new friends are making “too much noise,” so it’s best to be on friendly terms! Another tip that can be taken from these enthusiastic student types is throwing yourself into as many clubs as possible - you will have more friendship circles and your university experience

will be much more varied. Definitely try to join a sports team, be it something you are passionate about or something you have never done before. Every Wednesday night is sports night and, trust me, you don’t want to miss out on the party! Mike is also treated

to a spectacularly awful photograph on his student card, something many of us can relate to. Unfortunately, that picture of you looking haggard and hungover will be sticking with you throughout your time at King’s. Sorry about that! To avoid further snaps of you



BLOW-UP (1966) In his 1966 film, Michelangelo Antonioni perfectly captures the London of the swinging sixties, at a time when the city was at the centre of the world. The plot revolves around a fashion photographer, played by David Hemmings, who stumbles upon what he believes to be a murder in Maryon Park in Charlton, and unwittingly takes photos of the killing. London never looked this glamorous and the film even features cameos from the Yardbirds and Jimmy Page!



Monsters University may not be the best film Pixar has thrown at us: it was no Toy Story 3. But, as well as the happy nostalgia brought about by seeing Mike and Sully back on our screens, there are some handy tips that freshers can take note of…


not looking your best, make coffee shops your third home. You may have noticed in the film, the monster wandering through campus with three cups of coffee; this may seem somewhat mel-

odramatic, but when you’re beyond hanging the morning after a wild night in London Town, and have a 9am lecture, three coffees is the only way forward. You may

even need a

fourth to sustain you...

GENIUS In my view, to answer this question all you have to do is look at any one of their shows and their talent is obvious. Take as an example their last Edinbugh show, which I was lucky enough to get tickets for. Returning to the Fringe for their fourth successive year and attaining their second consecutive official sell-out, the all-male a cappella assemblage from King’s College London was certainly back to Edinburgh with a bang.

Another thing to note is Mike’s seeming ‘best friend’ Randall. We know from Monsters Inc that these two are most certainly not pals, and this illustrates all too well that the ‘friends for life’ you think you’ve made in freshers’ week may not be your final friends of the year. Meanwhile, someone like Sully who you don’t actually like may end up having more in common with you than you think-be open minded!

Unlike the semblance of many other collegiate a cappella groups, which conformed to the Glee stereotype, All the King’s Men was not annoyingly hubristic but rather alluringly homespun. The Men connected superbly with the audience and executed Knight Fever! with a modest charm which left the audience begging for more.

As for scary initiations into secret societies by candlelight, KCL’s secret society is not so secret anymore, after a Roar! exposé last year. But who knows, there could be more of these lurking in the campus shadows: keep your eyes peeled. Hopefully freshers won’t be a scarefest, do try not to follow Mike and Sully’s example and get thrown out, we promise its nice here! And as for Mike’s comment that “nobody reads the school paper” - they do. You’re reading it now, and you like it!


I would also just like to welcome everyone back to King’s and deliver a very warm welcome to the freshers. I hope you enjoyed the first film section of the year, as part of the new Roar! Rated R culture pullout. If you would like to get involved, or have any comments or suggestions please email...

It can be difficult to compile a repertoire which pleases teens and grandparents alike, but the Men didn’t seem to have any problems. Starting with an excellent arrangement of Chris Brown’s ‘Forever’, the group moved seamlessly from pop hit to 1960s classic and from Eric Clapton to Carly Rae Jepson. Moments of comical choreography created a fine contrast to the more emotive numbers, and the addition of a tap dance break from vocalist Rory Hill in Olly Murs’s ‘Dance With Me Tonight’ was a particular crowdpleaser. The up-tempo numbers were attacked with boundless energy and the rhythmical intricacies in John Mayer’s melancholy ‘Slow Dancing in a Burning Room’ were handled with impressive flair. With dynamic soloists and a consistently strong bass section, All the King’s Men maintained vocal precision throughout.

At their final show, fringe-goers were literally queuing around the block to get a ticket. All the King’s Men have asserted themselves as the cream of the collegiate a cappella crop, and I have no doubt that they’ll be back next year for a longer run.




All the King’s Men’s new album ‘Royal Flush ‘ is available on iTunes now.

JOKE At this point, my third year at KCL I’ve finally come to terms that this is not a radical university. Excluding the FemSoc (who do some pretty great activism), we have a thriving TorySoc, a LabourSoc who are just the TorySoc trying to rebel against Mummy and Daddy, and the less said about LGBTSoc the better. It is only from these conditions that the twee hellspawn that is All the King’s Men could have been born.


For those of you who don’t frequent Conservatopia (as I sometimes refer to KCL), All the King’s Men are our famousfor-an-accapella group – think Glee set at Eton. And for those of you from the university, we’ve all seen them. In the café doing The Lion Sleeps Tonight for the billionth time. At open days doing a version of Boom Boom Pow that even would be ashamed of…(Yep, you made a guy who was proud of producing Time of My Life (Dirty Bit) embarrassed.)

One minute into any of their perfor mances and it’s like social mobility never happened. This is parlour entertainment for the Earl of Monacleshire, not a worldleading university for queer theory in the centre of the world’s coolest city. If these are the King’s Men then we need an abdication. …oh and for Christ’s sake there are soooooo many more songs with lions/roaring in the title. Go back to your manors until you’ve learned Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Gold Lion


Basically, when King’s created Bloc Party these guys sprang up to counteract them. Which would be fine – just let the poor guys sing, they clearly love it and they’re very popular, you cry. I bet you’ve never done an American tour, you critical little shit, you scream (actually that one’s probably my parents). But this is exactly the problem. They are very popular. People hear them and forever associate them with King’s, see us as twee private school kids. Lots of people. One day you’re going to try and get a job somewhere and at the interview they’re just going to have ‘awimbaweyawimbawey’ endlessly going through their head. It’ll be a marvel if you make it out of that situation alive, never mind with a job!




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