GKT HOCKEY CLUB ALUMNI NEWSLETTER July 2013
Foreword Theo Muth, incoming Alumni Sec
Welcome to 2013’s summer newsleLer. Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘Theo, wriQng the foreword and the captain’s message? Step aside already’. However, aVer an excellent term in oﬃce we’ve had to bid adieu to Saarth who has set oﬀ into a world ﬁlled with responsibility and new honoriﬁcs. Saarth is one of many who will be deparQng the club this summer. I would like to extend a hear\elt thanks to everyone for contribuQng in their own way to GKT hockey over the years. You are always welcome back and I look forward to the ever-‐expanding alumni’s conQnuing involvement. I’ve heard the club captain has wriLen some summary of the year, so I will leave you in his quesQonable hands for the introducQon to this newsleLer.
A Message from the Club Captain Theo Muth, Club Captain
Hello everyone, As the 2012/13 season draws to a close, the occasion calls to reﬂect upon this year in a newsleLer that sums up the club's progress. It is always easier said than done to sit down and sum up an enQre year in a small paragraph, namely because the teams' captains focus on the hockey, and socially no one can remember a thing. The teams overall did well, with the 1st XI performing solidly and taking home the UH Cup for the ﬁrst Qme in a long Qme. The 2nd XI held their place in the league although unfortunately, along with the rest of the club, were hampered by the weather around Christmas Qme. Akshay did a great job of handling over 30 keen players in his 3rd XI squad, given the number of cancelled matches they had. There are so many promising players coming through who will conQnue to drive GKT Hockey forward, both on and oﬀ the pitch. The year began with an incredible intake of freshers, all keen to show their worth at a very successful freshers' trials. Fresher's tour was also fun-‐ﬁlled and acQon-‐packed, taking almost 70 people up to Newcastle for a weekend of hockey (I joke, there was no hockey). ConQnuing Mr. Baxter's introducQon of GKT to the wonderful world of TITS, GKT rocked up at Southampton and were graciously put up for a night by Harry RoLer. Most recently, NAMs was a huge success, with three teams being ﬁelded -‐ one of which was an alumni team. Leeds hosted us well, providing the chewiest curry and most dubious fair-‐ground I have experienced in a while. With the new sports faciliQes at HOP completed within an accuracy of 4 standard deviaQons of the predicted date, we look forward to many an event being held there in the future. Needless to say, it looks like they've spent a lot of Qme making it look good.
As I eluded to in my speech at AGM, I can't express how much GKT Hockey Club has improved my Qme at university. It has been brilliant in all aspects and I wish for every one of you to share my experience. Every year some new acQon is proposed that will aﬀect the club, and it requires a gentle reminder that the club doesn't need ﬁxing, it works just ﬁne. The conQnuing support of old boys is much appreciated, if nothing more than to remind the newer members what your Qme at GKT meant for you. I would like to give an enormous thanks to all the leaving commiLee. The captains have worked well together and compromised when needed, in order to put out teams that serve the interests of the club. The vice captains have always been there to lend a helping hand to the captains, for which I know they are grateful. Along with the help of the ﬁxtures sec, they have all worked hard to iron out the inevitable creases in Qmetabling. The novel plan of having two social secretaries has worked well, with some cracking tours as well as great nights out. The ﬁnances have been closely kept in check, regardless of how many recklessly unnecessary stash orders I may have wanted to make. The mixed team were guided well into the quarter ﬁnal of the NAMS league, with many friendlies along the way. The alumni secretaries have done a great job of geing the old boys back for various events-‐ Ryo and I have large shoes to ﬁll. Furthermore, I'm sure you've all appreciated as much as I have the regular updates on Facebook and the website. Finally, thank you to all of you. Old boys and new boys alike, you have made being club captain this year a thorough pleasure. CongratulaQons to all the new commiLee, I'm looking forward to another great year. I wish you all the best of luck in any exams you may have, and look forward to seeing you aVer summer. So long, farewell.
Social Review Richard Cameron & Dheeraj Khiatani, Social Secretaries The GKT Men’s Hockey Club has seen its fair share of the usual shenanigans and frivoliQes this year. We started oﬀ strong and recruited well over 100 email addresses at the GKT and KCLSU Freshers Fayre. This led to a very well aLended fresher’s trials, where one fresher learnt (the hard way) that you should NEVER disrespect an old boy, let alone a Social Secretary. No doubt there were some good eggs, and the men’s hockey club managed to recruit our very own PSY all the way from Korea. Due to a lack of games for the whole mens club on one Wednesday early in the term, we decided we’d take everyone bowling at the luxurious Palace Superbowl at Elephant and Castle. Honourable menQons to Fresher who got an all Qme record low score of 38, to Dom for managing to throw a ball over his head, risking the lives of the enQre hockey club, and to Shimmings – our bowling champion. Needless to say, they were all rewarded with a suitable measure. This year saw the inaugural Hockey Club Shite Shirt social. The usual shirt and hockey Qes were subsQtuted with some of the most appalling, hideously looking shirts known to man. Some of the shirts actually induced a stronger gag reﬂexes than a ginning would. All in all, the social went down well, with pulling rates at an all Qme high, thought all the shirts were that familiar pink colour by the end of the night.
Newcastle was the desQnaQon of this year’s fresher’s tour and, for the ﬁrst Qme ever, the mystery locaQon wasn’t leaked. The theme of computer and board games saw some very strong and imaginaQve tour names such as, ‘Connect Whore’, ‘ Lara CroV: womb raider’ and Crash Bandic**t. A double decker (again unprecedented) was required to transport the old boys and girls along with the huge uptake of fresher’s this year; 40 wide-‐eyed and eager teenagers who had no idea what was in store for them. The fresher’s donned their Pacman ponchos and we boarded the bus aVer a few cheeky pints in Guys bar. Highlights of the tour include hideous spray tans, a few boys geing the last train to Durham and the ﬁrst train back for breakfast and the mini golf day out which followed by some shameless skinny dipping in the North Sea. Although no ambulances were required, other emergency services were required, namely to detain one of our tour-‐goers for the night. Without boasQng, this year’s social sec’s organized a great tour bar leaving a tour fresher behind in Durham where we stopped for lunch on the way back. The 4 social secs took their punishment with a ginning from the club captain which for some reason didn’t trigger our gin reﬂexes. Only later we found out that it was actually piss which had replaced the gin in the boLle and someone had decided it was a good idea to stash the boLle back with the rest of the gin.
To maintain the club’s high roller vibe, we had our Christmas dinner at the one and only Belushis this year. DK is gay. Unfortunately the waiQng staﬀ forgot to provide the freshers with any cutlery, however they dealt with their dinners eﬀecQvely. Team themes this year were sexy ﬁremen for the 1s, (despite the fact that the hats arrived in the post the next day), Abe Lincoln for the 2s (complete with hats which could only be worn by the shortest members in some areas of belushis), and dick in a box for the 3s (some players taking this more literally than others..) Guys bar was our post dinner venue and saw a ﬁing end to a brilliant ﬁrst term. Following a long absQnence from gin and snakebite, GKTHC returned to Guys Bar in our novelty Qes to conQnue our long standing tradiQon. This year saw some strong novelty Qes, including a wooden Qe. On ValenQne’s day, we thought outside the box and came up with a daring and bold idea and got everyone to wear their Guys Bar aire with a hint of red.
The other highlight of this years Guys bar saw the introducQon of some new imbibing rules by none other than Theo ‘Hitler’ Muth. Rules included, no phones before 9pm, high ball for almost empty drinks and leV hand drinking only. These rules were great in theory, but with about as much convicQon as height, Theo struggled to fully enforce them. Theo however, surpassed himself by introducing the all new snakebite-‐proof Men’s Hockey drinking blazers. A great legacy. Available to Alumni too!
Macadam was the ﬁnal game of the year for the men, unfortunately the boys were unable to clinch the win, due to King’s having 12 players (11 plus the ref), though that is not within the scope of this report. However, the social aspect of Macadam was excellent. There was great pitchside heckling this year, with a lack of subtlety (sQnky chat) being the general theme. We then descended on the Waterfront in the usual fashion for the results. Unfortunately there is no clear consensus as to what happened following the announcement of our monumentous win, but we can only take this as a sign of a great night! This year’s AGM has been hailed as the “Best AGM Ever (drunk hockey girl et al., 2013)”. We returned to the Griﬃn and the nights entertainment included a bouncy castle, a Pick ‘N’ Mix stand, a ice luge made of boobies and the highlight: an instant photo booth complete with props. Unfortunately, the photo booth company was not forewarned of the number of cock or ball pictures that were taken that night. The aVer party was held at Old School Yard where lots of cocktails were drunk, lots of dancing happened and pictures were taken with the “borrowed” props from the photo booth. Last but not least, the year was drawn to a close with the commiLee handover curry followed by the last ever truﬄe shuﬄe. Yes, it seems KCLSU is as bad as the King’s college administraQon when it comes to turning a proﬁt. With lots of Mario and Luigis and morphsuits being worn, the old commiLee said goodbye to their posiQons and welcomed in the newbie’s. Well, its been a great pleasure serving as your social sexs. Rich and I (Dk) had an amazing Qme planning all the organized fun you’ve had this year. We welcome Dan Curley and Oscar Barnick and wish them all the best. Good luck in trying to ﬁll our shoes ;) Yours humbly Richard Cameron & Dheeraj Khiatani
Mixed Captain Report Fergus Catmur, Mixed Captain Mixed hockey was a huge success this year. Regular matches were played against local teams and quite oVen we had to put players on a ‘waiQng’ list due to popular demand! In the NAMS league we made it to the quarter ﬁnals against a strong Birmingham side. Sadly they won by a small margin, possibly owing to the fact that they delayed the match by over an hour and destroyed our pre-‐game hydraQon. Nevertheless the venture into northern territories was well received. Both the mixed tours went down a treat. Wacky racers were shown a good Qme in Southampton amongst copious Juicy Lucy’s; clearly the quality of hockey the next day was not our ﬁnest. NAMS proved the biggest mixed tour to date with a coach ferrying the fearsome Zulus to Leeds. Awaking in a bleary-‐eyed haze the next day a bugle transformed the tourists in to foxes and respec\ul hunters. Again, hockey was put on the back burner but a reliable source tells me that GKT were the most fun on Saturday. Mixed hockey appears to be going from strength to strength and I look forward to seeing Harry Coulton conQnue this in the next year.
President’s Match Report Tom Simpson, GKT Class of 2006
Coming as it did the day aVer a characterisQcally ethanolic AGM, the President’s Cup game was the scene of yet another great clash between the current students and a selecQon of the most brilliant, but far more importantly, available, players to have graced the GKT Men’s Hockey Club down the years. IniQal fears among the alumni that our team would bear more than a passing resemblance to the not-‐quite-‐built-‐yet new clubhouse were supported out by a warm up rouQne of half-‐arsed stretches and a lengthening list of increasingly implausible pre-‐ empQve excuses for what was bound to be a performance high on nostalgia, and more perQnently, arthralgia. There was genuine concern that some of the students would have a real advantage and that this would deﬁnitely sway the result, like a GKT O&G exam. Our team talk focused on geing the most out of the period of Qme when our ﬁtness would not yet be totally outclassed by our youngers, a Qme-‐frame felt to be in the region of between 1 and 10 minutes. The match started brightly and while the students made preLy paLerns with their passes and runs, we tackled and harried in the Qme-‐honoured way of the outclassed.
While goals were scored, the order and method escape my memory. However, to our surprise they were going in at both ends, and the game remained evenly fought. While friendly it was increasingly evenly contested as it went on, unQl in Qme-‐honoured fashion the students decided to test their elders professed medical skills as well as their hockey skills. A nasty clash of heads leV one player with a bleeding scalp, and another with a nose both bleeding and possibly broken. The seniors displayed responses appropriate to their specialQes, resulQng in an orthopaedic registrar peering knowingly down some nostrils, not his own for once, while this medical registrar applied the most ludicrous dressing to a scalp wound seen in the combined experience of all present. The game conQnued at a more relaxed pace as all involved seemingly seLled for the inevitable penalty ﬂicks, without which this annual contest always feels incomplete. They duly arrived, and like a trust inducQon, went on far longer than was either expected or necessary, as the students took an early lead that they would not relinquish. The prolonged ﬂick compeQQon did allow for some truly barrel-‐scraping sporQng clichés to be aired, before the agony was ﬁnally ended by both goalkeepers taking their turns at ﬂicks. The unwriLen rule of not embarrassing your fellow keeper was apparently not understood by the younger player, resulQng in a 12-‐10 victory to the students. Fun was had by all, blood was spilt, drinks were drunk and jokes were made at the expense of everyone present. If you could write that in LaQn it would make a ﬁne moLo for the President’s cup.
Vinesh Patel Cup 2013 Ryoki Arimoto, 1st XI Vice-‐captain Before I start this report, may I profusely apologize to Vinesh Patel for forgeing to invite him to the major calendar event of the year for GKTHC, 1stXI v 2ndXI, aka The VINESH PATEL CUP. As lead ﬁxture organizer for this parQcularly game, I made an event on Facebook to recruit people to come play and support the teams on a wonderful summers day. This involved me inviQng all members of the respecQve GKTHC groups and any other relevant guests I could think of…BUT FOR SOME REASON the name Vinesh Patel did not cross my mind…I shall take whatever punishment is required aVer my elecQve and I give you my sincere apologies in advance. 本当に申し訳ございませんでした！ Ok…the report… The game was held on Wednesday, 5th June 2013. This was the only convenient day available due to the increasing demand for the newly built Honor Oak Park Clubhouse, as well as player availabiliQes being a major issue due to exams. Hence why, for the ﬁrst Qme in the history of GKTHC, a mixed 1stXI v 2ndXI game was played. A massive thank you must go to the ladies hockey club for oﬀering to get involved and ensuring that the Vinesh Patel Cup would happen in this season of 2012/2013. Thank you.
As far as I can recall, Vinesh Patel was sQll the only captain to have led the 2ndXI to victory over the 1stXI. I am afraid to stay that he sQll is the only captain to have done this. Having had a diﬃcult yet solid season with the 2ndXI, Rich white was eager to be the 2nd to have accomplished this and get the cup to be renamed aVer him. He showed this by being one of the few players to actually play hockey to a high level that day together with our 1stXI Dynamo sub-‐3hours London Marathon runner Fergus Catmur, where temperatures were rising well over 40degrees..! I felt embarrassed having been the vice-‐ captain for the 1stXI this season. So in summary of the game, the score was 5-‐4 to the mixed 1stXI side and at one point the 2ndXI were leading, so a fantasQc eﬀort from them to give the 1stXI side a challenging match. Special menQons must go to the alumni who got involved in the game including Vinesh Patel himself for playing despite the lack of appropriate hockey aire and scoring goals for the 2ndXI side, Tom Simpson for further proving the fact that goalkeepers are also solid ou\ield players and Maria Leong for providing a new dimension to the ladies element of the mixed 2ndXI side. Also we must not forget our beloved coach who joined us this season, Julie Ferret who clearly proved to us that she is a beLer hockey player than all of us and that there’s always a reason why she screams so much for us on the sideline. Thank you!! The match was followed by a fantasQc social in the new clubhouse with a BBQ and appropriate juniper ‘treats’ for those who thoroughly deserved it. MVP was nominated by our 1stXI Dynamo Fergus Catmur to Grace Isbister, the Ladies Club Captain and I’m sure she appreciated the prize…well to a certain extent. I hope the club ensures that the Vinesh Patel Cup happens every year in the future, and please let me further emphasize, how much of this event can bring the whole Club together whether Men’s, Ladies’ or Alumni to a great day out.
Introducing: A Strandy’s perspecQve of GKT HC Cameron Carr, Strandy; born-‐again GKT
A perspecQve from the 'Hole in the Strand' As a ﬁnal year a lot of thoughts of ﬁnality have crossed my mind over the past year and whilst wandering around freshers fayre I felt that this was my last opportunity to take advantage of do the things I hadn't already done before venturing out into the barren wide world! A chance conversaQon with Fergus Catmur and Dom Aldridge brought me to the might bands of GKT hockey and now, a year on I have been asked to reﬂect on my experiences as THE Law student and Strandy in GKT hockey. My ﬁrst real experience of GKT was one of the iniQaQon nights in the infamous Belushis with all the other wide eyed, gobby liLle freshers. It was when Charlie Reeve found out that I was a Strandy that my opinions and comments were rendered void for the rest of the night. There was also a rule created that night that has been recycled throughout the night -‐ "when one fresher drinks, THE Strandy drinks". I didn't know what to expect from tour but it was genuinely one of the best weekends of the year. Three memories sQck out from that weekend: (1) Our esteemed club captain streaking through a pool of water on the mini golf course to then subsequently expose himself to an innocent family of four. (2) Our slightly taller social sec projecQng the contents of a gin boLle over a car windscreen at a crossing and watching other drivers ﬁnding it hilarious. (3) The moment of realisaQon when all four social secs discovered that they had mistakenly consumed a bodily ﬂuid in place of their favourite juniper juice.
The Christmas dinner was the highlight of my GKT year being on the eve of my 20-‐22 birthday. The 3s managed to consume a leVover keg from my party the weekend before and my small London townhouse was ﬁlled with about 25 guys wandering round in turtleneck and chain with their dicks in boxes. I am very grateful for the amount of gin I was fed and also to Ferret for placing me on a stool at midnight and leing me fall oﬀ it just as easily. The night got a bit hazy from their but various recounts state that I exposed myself to the enQre ladies 4s, hoovered three shots of tequila oﬀ the bar and ran the whole of borough high street with no clothes. Top night! Second term was unfortunately used to focus on dissertaQons and impending ﬁnals and due to a family vacaQon I couldn't make the AGM but any opportunity there was to play or socialise was a great release. The great thing about GKT hockey is its welcoming aitude, there is no arrogance from the 1s that cannot be put down by the 3s and regardless of who you are out with, everyone is kind and always welcoming. Although the mighty 3s have had a track record of cancellaQons this year the matches that have been played have been great fun. Thanks to GulaQ and Manny for a great year, and the matches we did play were also great fun! I am wriQng this with my results in hand and despite GKT's best eﬀorts I have come out with a 2:1. Ironically, my highest grade was in the module that always had lectures on a Thursday morning at 9am! Having gained the grades I wanted I will be staying at Kings for another year compleQng my MA in Medical Law & Ethics. I look forward to another season of GKT starQng in September.
st 1 XI Report Jason Gupta, 1st XI Captain
With a strong squad inherited from last season, the foundaQons were already in place as we set out for life in the newly promoted BUCS SE 2B, as well as regaining our status as the top side in London. Pre-‐season took a twist this season, where I invited the team to the mythical village of Cheddar to be put through their paces at a pre-‐season camp-‐ on and oﬀ the pitch back. The weekend consisted of lung bursQng runs, team bonding in the form of a hotly competed crazy golf tournament, maybe a liLle too much Somerset cider and the infamous Cheddar 7-‐ where we had just one evening to frequent every pub in the village. Unfortunately, 1 unnamed member of the squad was unable to complete the challenge, whilst another decided to smash his pint glass and subsequently sustain suspect tendon damage to his hand. With everyone too hungover to actually play any hockey on Sunday, the team leV bleary eyed back to London…. With the lack of hockey actually taking place on our pre-‐season camp, Ryoki and myself panicked and subsequently decided to organise the most intense pre-‐season ﬁxture schedule ever, consisQng of matches against GKT 2s, OMT 1s, King’s 1s and ICSM 1s. With 3 victories recorded, including the noQceable scalp of King’s 1s where we defeated them 6-‐2, everyone was in jubilant mood aVerwards. Notable highlights during this period include Ryoki’s mum, Mrs Arimoto, feeding us the enQre food supply of Japan, although Nick Chang was obviously sQll hungry aVerwards. Also, aVer the away match against ICSM, in the Indian Gymkhana sports bar, a furious session lead to us managing to comatose promising striker Vivek ‘prime Qme’ Patni, whilst newly recruited goalkeeping sensaQon Dan ‘safe hands’ Curley probably ruptured his oesophagus as he empQed the enQre contents of his stomach onto terriﬁed onlookers in the tube carriage behind us on the journey back to London Bridge ….He just wouldn’t stop vomiQng!
With the season about to begin, one ﬁnal adjustment was made to the coaching staﬀ, where we welcomed to addiQon of Julie ‘the enforcer’ FerreL as our new head coach on a 1 year rolling contract. Training subsequently took a noQceable change in intensity, where everyone was shocked by how such a sweet women could almost make a grown man cry. We hit the ground running in our ﬁrst game of the season in BUCS, as we waltzed to a 5-‐1 demoliQon over IC 1s away at HaLon Cross. The subsequent return of the team Fancy pants and conversion of the hydraQon staQon into a vessel of lash, ensured that mayhem ensued as the team returned to their spiritual home in Guys bar. A loss against against our bogey team Kent 1s, who went on to get promoted, and subsequent draws against RVC, Her\ordshire and Imperial 2s were frustraQng to say the least. We were playing the right style of hockey although we just couldn’t catch a break. However, a notable turn in form occurred just before Christmas, where we faced an in form top of the league Canterbury Christ Church 1s-‐ a side who boasted an England U21 internaQonal in their ranks as well as being liLered with naQonal league players. We put on a stellar display in hockey, one which deserved victory, although we were unfortunate to come away defeated, a 3-‐2 loss the ﬁnal score. Nevertheless, we donned probably the best fancy dress in the history of the club-‐ despite no one having any idea what we were-‐ and a great Qme by all was had at the Christmas dinner. With only 7 compeQQve matches being played before Christmas, mainly due to the inept organisaQonal skills of KCLSU’s favourite son Freddie ‘ﬁxture fuckup’ Dean, the second half of the season was always going to be busy to say the least….
Once Fortress HOP had ﬁnally defrosted following the winter snowfall, GKT returned to acQon with a renewed sense of opQmism and form. We went on a ﬁve match unbeaten run, smashing every team that was placed in front of us, as we started to shoot up the LUSL and BUCS leagues…. With Dan ‘the human highlight reel’ Cromb making light of being a ﬁnal year and puing his playing commitments before medicine, our defence was in safe control. He was ably assisted -‐ as Sachin ‘golden boy’ Sharma, performing as the best right back in the league as per usual, whilst Khush ‘belief, work, respect’ Shah ensured the centre of defence was solid. Greg ‘Body on the line’ Nussbaum made sure that that there was never a dull moment on the leV side of defence and Alec ‘magic’ Dawson conQnually deﬁed team orders to conjure up tricks across the pitch, to the delight of the crowd but the despair of the GKT defence. Ben ‘Why do you have to play Rugby’ Havard made the odd cameo appearance as and when he decided to bless us with his talents. The celebrity packed midﬁeld of Theo ‘Pacman’ Muth, Fergus ‘the dream’ Catmur, Ryoki ‘walking wounded’ Arimoto and not forgeing Charlie ‘the tractor’ Reeve meant that the midﬁeld was simply unstoppable. Our forward line up worked their socks oﬀ, and grabbed a few goals as well. Nock ‘The execuQoner’ Sharma took no crap from the opposiQon as per usual, Nick ‘Pistol’ Chang ran circles round the opposiQon defence before reQring for a snooze in Guys bar and Joe ‘ The Answer’ Keighley kept up his trusted one touch technique to bag an unbelievable amount of goals. However, this year no fewer than 27 players made an appearance for the 1s-‐ with many freshers and 2s players stepping up to play this season-‐ the club now has a promising crop of players who are coming through which makes for an exciQng future.
With the laLer end of the season approaching, Freddie ‘ﬁxture fuckup’ Dean and the weather gods had decided to make things interesQng for us as we had a game every Wednesday and Sunday in March. This didn’t deter the side however; as we went on to book our place in the LUSL Cup ﬁnal with one of the most disciplined GKT performances ever seen, with a 2-‐0 victory recorded against UCL 1s, a side that we hadn’t defeated in 5 years previously. Cup ﬁnal day was a great day out for the club, with the club pracQcally ﬁlling a 55 seater coach as we made yet another journey to HaLon Cross to baLle for silverware against IC 1s. The sweet tones of R-‐Kelly made sure we were ﬁred up for the match, and GKT went into the game puing on a dominant display of hockey. Unfortunately and undeservedly, it was not to be as some quesQonable umpiring condemned us to a 2-‐1 defeat.
The Macadam Cup was highly anQcipated this year, with the result too close to call. Once again, GKT put in a colossal performance, with everyone giving a MOM performance on the pitch. Unfortunately, as it has been all too similar in the past, hockey was not allowed to have the ﬁnal say as some dubious umpiring meant 2 key decisions went against us-‐ and the beLer side were condemned to 2-‐1 defeat. Despite these results, I am incredibly proud of how the side came together and performed, as well as the unbelievable support of the hockey club. For so many of you to come and support us in what has been possibly the most disgusQng weather we’ve ever seen in Spring-‐ is remarkable and it really makes a diﬀerence, so thank you so much!
Sta$s$cs Played: 23 (To date), won: 12 Drawn: 3 Lost: 8 Goals scored: 39 Goals Conceded: 36 BUCS SE 2B: 4th (Safety secured) LUSL Div 1: 3rd place Overall it’s been a very successful season, considering we were back to playing in the highest league that GKT have competed in BUCS-‐ in recent years, as well reaching the LUSL Cup ﬁnal, the lads are to be congratulated for all their eﬀorts this year. Everyone has worked Qrelessly at training, ﬁtness sessions and on match days so you’re all to be commended. Stop press! For the ﬁrst Qme in almost a decade, GKT went on to beat ICSM 2-‐1 in the UH Cup ﬁnal, following a hardly fought qualifying round previously in a round robin tournament against all the London medical schools. A fantasQc way to round oﬀ the season with some silverware, well done to everyone involved again and thanks to those who came down to support! Jason Gupta GKT 1st XI Captain 2012-‐13
2nd XI Report Richard White, 2nd XI Captain The mighty 2s began this season with a squad list not looking the healthiest it has done previously. What with a deﬁcit in recent years of new fresher entrants or being outright poached by the ‘hole in the strand’ and numerous players leaving or being promoted, this leV us slightly unsure of how the year was going the unfold. However, I am pleased to say that having reached the end season (and of my GKT career as well) the squad looks like it should have a more stable future.
Likewise the ﬁrst half of the season didn’t go exactly to plan with the team taking Qme to seLle down, but with a range of players entering the squad over some point or another with plenty of 3s players heeding the call, including at Qmes their Capt and vice-‐Capt Akshay and Mani, we started to get some tracQon. AVer the merry break, (and having donned our ludicrously loVy Christmas dinner hats) we were ready to put some points on the table. The onslaught from BUCS 4B saw us dodging relegaQon with walkovers geing us oﬀ the line, shame it wasn’t the goal line, and more oVen than not crawling by. We ended it with one win, three draws and ﬁve losses. LUSL (the BUCS alternaQve to the ULU) Div 2 was much more our friend where we grinded through to the last match being a promoQon decider but unfortunately some dubious umpiring at the infamous Harlington pitch saw us lose 0-‐2 to ICSM 2s....Something both the 3rd and 1st XI I think can relate to (coincidence?). The season ended with three wins, no draws and three loses.
A special menQon has to be made to our epic freshers this year, who not only performed whole-‐hearQly on the pitch but, since losing the legendarily consistent weekly anQcs of Shin-‐ Woo Kim, they provided some impressive oﬀ-‐pitch entertainment, marking their place at GKT. Ozzy would undoubtly work his way round the ‘lady-‐folk’ of guys bar before inevitably being ‘bounced’ out; Harry Coulton would repeatedly hit it hard then ‘redecorate’ London Underground on his way back to intercollegiate halls in Bloomsbury; and unbeatable keeper Dan Curley took the King’s-‐GKT rivalry to heart by aLempQng to piss on the strand from a moving minibus on the return from an away match.
The awards were a close aﬀair but ended as follows: Best fresher was Harry Coulton (although all were within shot); Tosser went to Ozzy, who took the mantle of ‘that fresher’ and anyone who doesn’t know what ‘that fresher’ means was probably ‘that fresher’; most improved went to Hannes Hagson, who was as enthusiasQc as a retro ABBA track on a cheesy club night, and who consistently kept the team spirits topped up (GIN). Player of the Season went to the least dickish most magniﬁcent (everyone loves) player.... Everyone knows about the drinking team with a hockey problem, but we turned out to be a hockey team with a hockey problem. I hand over to the safe hands of Faisal Karim who has done a sterling job as vice-‐capt this year, and hope he manages to unearth a comparable candidate to aid him next year. As I ﬁnish my Qme at GKT I look back with memories of great Qmes and even beLer Qmes with no memories. I shall be back at some point and am sure I will see all the tradiQons going strong.
rd 3 XI Report Akshay GulaQ, 3rd XI Captain
Its weird to say this but I’ve sort of been looking forward to this report for quite a while. I was hoping to reﬂect on a heavily successful year and quite weirdly, I think I’m about to do just that. If we look back at freshers trials, they were once again a great success. Who would have predicted that a bundle of opp-‐opp-‐opping joy would be joining the club, and my team and that man didn’t disappoint. Luan, along with 24 others became inducted into the mighty threes and I remember those ﬁrst few training sessions where simple passing drills between two people were diﬃcult. Not because of ability, because we didn’t have enough balls. As our season started, I think we did preLy well. Training aLendances were fantasQc, (32 was the best I got) and we had some very close games. We lost 3-‐0 to a Greenwich team who had a Steven Gerrard in midﬁeld and a Torres of old up front and those two players lost us the game. Another big game was away at Holloway. Anybody who has played for GKT will know that there are two certainQes with Holloway: 1. Theres a Funbus and 2. They will cheat, cheat and cheat some more.
Note from the editor: I’m all keen for freedom of the press but due to some colourful language certain words have been replaced with pictures of kittens
We started that cup game knowing that we were playing a 2s side on paper but their 1s with a few 2s in reality. I set us up to hold Qght for the ﬁrst half and we went in at 2-‐0 down. Not disheartened, the boys were pumped, none more than messers GulaQ and Matharu and 15 mins into the second half, I made my only Morinho-‐esque change of the season with our formaQon and we scored 2 in 2 minutes. We were desQned to win. Cue the umpire not having any of this and Bhavesh was yellow carded for a tackle, at which I expressed my frustraQons, quietly, I thought, and I was binned as well. We ended up losing that game, I sQll haven’t got over it, but it taught me alot about this group of boys and that is they all had the ﬁght, passion and determinaQon and hence deserve to wear the GKT kit every week. We got steaming drunk all the way home and that night, Nid got a liLle too drunk and encountered a problem with the bouncers. I found an intoxicated text from him that I saved and it read: “they are being massive cunts. One of them asked me why he should let me in. I was like because lots of people leV, and he was like well you shouldn’t be at kings college if you think thats the case. And then sent me to the back. So I got his name. They are such CUNTS. Tbh what do you expect from bouncers... idiots” In the ﬁrst term, we played the same number of games as those which were cancelled. Played 5, Lost 5, cancelled 5. It was a tough season for organisaQon too, numbers started to change as we started to get too many cancelled games but in the second term our hockey picked up considerably. We came so, so close to beaQng old boy, Jaime Farr’s new lot at Barts, losing 3-‐2 with them scoring two of the worst short corners i’ve seen. (i’ve seen quite a few this season, trust me). Sadly Jaime actually played preLy well but was a good enough Lad to take his gin with us back at his real home in front of Keats.
One of the major changes to the team however was that we started the year with 3 keepers. How the hell I’ve managed to keep them all happy, I don’t know. They probably secretly hate me for geing too few games. But even with three keepers we had a Sunday game, mid January with no keeper. I had two freshers down to play; Bayo and Sab and on the way over I told Mani that one of them needs to do it. I had a hunch that Bayo coud actually do a decent job, absolutely no idea why. Mani was backing Sab. Bayo stepped up when confronted and the rest is history. The boy had a stormer in goal, won man of the match and preLy much pencilled his name on the team sheet for the rest of the season. I have to commend his training aLendance as well as he has been ever present, trying to get beLer as a keeper, whilst pissing Dan Turk oﬀ at the same Qme. I learnt another thing this season, and that is that delegaQon isn’t always ideal. I organised a team for my fantasQc vice captain to take away against the poly that is East London University ﬁrsts and I was shocked to hear that we took quite the beaQng. They did however employ slightly suspect umpires, no whistles, no ﬂoodlights and were in Nid’s terminology: cu-‐idiots. As the season drew to a close, it was a real shame to not beat RUMS. We notoriously smash them and I was really hoping to piece together a victory against them which would have done all our freshers a world of good. We dominated the whole game, as the 2s who were watching, will agree with, and somehow three individual errors across the 70minutes cost us a 3-‐2 loss. We had around 10 shorts as well.
Our last game of the season was a friendly away against Barts, again. We went as a team with 8 players who hadn’t played hockey before this season. I felt proud to have seen that we didn’t get beat to a Saarth-‐scoreline albeit, 7-‐0 is hardly ﬂaLering. But I saw boys new to the game and geing beLer. The next season will be one where all these freshers become proper hockey players. A new tradiQon was born that night. Barts invited us back to their SU, ‘The Griﬀ Inn’ and we were shocked to see that juniper was also a punishment and a familiar purple/pink beverage was ﬂowing just as freely. They taught us a rather low quality (like their hospital) matchbox game and we taught them four-‐head in return. You’re welcome, Barts. So as my term has now drawn to a close it is a shame to say that on paper, I have a worse record than Saarth, however I actually haven’t got a receding hairline so I’m beLer than him in some ways. I am nowhere near up to DK’s level of captaincy but hopefully the squad of fourty three threes will think I’ve been alright. I couldn’t have done anything this season without my Punjabi brother and vice captain, Mani, who has always been one to lead by doing, even if he can’t keep a half Qme team talk shorter than 100 words. To the man who takes over from me I wish you all the best with your season. There are 20 freshers who will become old boys almost over night. You’re all great friends amongst each other, you’re becoming good hockey players and you’re all great guys so I fully expect your year to be one of colossal success.
Honours List for 2012/13 Season Full Blues Nominees should have played their sport at 1st team level AND ABOVE for at least 3 years and held commi>ee posi?ons for at least two years; for at least one of those years they should have been on the core commi>ee (i.e. Club Captain/ 1st team captain). Blues are awarded on the discre?on of the Blues & Shields commi>ee, formed of senior members of staﬀ from the Medical School.
JOSEPH KEIGHLEY JASON GUPTA
Half Blues The criteria are not as strict as for full blues but in general; three years playing at a reasonably high standard plus one or two years on commi>ee OR ﬁve/six years playing at a reasonably high standard.
RICHARD WHITE SAARTH SHIRALKAR RYOKI ARIMOTO HASSAN RAJA
ADRIAN CHEANG ALEX CHOWDHURY ALEXANDER SHIMMINGS CAMERON CARR (NOT FOR LONG) DANIEL CROMB HASSAN RAJA MANINDERPAL MATHARU MATT HOPE NICHOLAS CHANG RICHARD WHITE SAARTH SHIRALKAR SIMON COLE TOM KEELEY
Man of the Year RYOKI ARIMOTO
Fresher of the Year DANIEL CURLEY
1st XI awards
Player of the season: KHUSH SHAH Golden s?ck award (top Goalscorer): JOE KEIGHLEY The 'Acrombulator' player of the season: THEO MUTH Most Improved player: CHARLIE REEVE The Dickson Poon Award: GREGORY NUSSBAUM
2nd XI awards
Best Fresher: HARRY COULTON Tosser: OSAMA AHMAD Most improved: HANNES HAGSON Player of season: RICH WHITE
3rd XI awards
Player of the Season: AKSHAY GULATI Tosser: AYUSH KAPILA Most Improved: ADEBAYO BISHI Fresher of the Year: NIDHIN LAJI Captain's Player of the Year: VIKRAM VIGNARAJA
Contact InformaQon Club Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Club Website www.gkthockeyclub.co.uk/
Club Facebook www.facebook.com/gkthockey
Club TwiMer www.twiLer.com/gkthockey
Men’s commiMee 2013/14 Club Captain -‐ Fergus Catmur Treasurer -‐ Max Schoﬁeld Fixtures Secretary -‐ Nidhin Laji Social Secretaries -‐ Oscar Barnick & Daniel Curley Alumni Secretaries -‐ Ryoki Arimoto & Theo Muth Mixed Captain -‐ Harry Coulton 1st XI Captain -‐ Sachin Sharma 1st XI VC -‐ Khush Shah 2nd XI Captain -‐ Faisal 2nd XI VC -‐ to be appointed 3rd XI Captain -‐ Andrew Baigey 3rd XI VC -‐ Alex Warren
Epilogue Theo Muth, again
Well, I’m afraid that’s all we have Qme for. Thank you for reading and thanks to all of those who contributed. Summer is now thoroughly underway and each passing day is one closer to the beginning of the hockey season. With the new club house ﬁnally completed at Honor Oak Park, we are sure to have many socials down there. Guy’s Bar, as ever, has open doors and a sQcky ﬂoor. All our events will be well publicised on our sexy new website and Facebook pages. So pop by any Qme you feel the need to expel some demons and see some old faces. Ryo and I will be in touch about some actual hockey matches for the Old Boy’s XI in the new season, so keep an ear out if you fancy a game. UnQl then, keep well and keep in touch.