Page 1

FIGHT

FLIGHT

V I N C E S A LV AT O R E

FLOW


TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

INTRODUCTION ............................................. XX

FIGHT

FLIGHT

FLOW

C H A P T E R 1 O B S E R VAT I O N

................... XX

CHAPTER 2 THE ENERGY FEEL

................... XX

CHAPTER 3 SOUND

................... XX

CHAPTER 4 MIND

................... XX

CHAPTER 5 GOALS

................... XX

CHAPTER 6 PERSERVERANCE

................... XX

CHAPTER 7 BODY

................... XX

C H A P T E R 8 G R AT I T U D E

................... XX

C H A P T E R 9 R E L AT I O N S H I P S

................... XX

CHAPTER 10 ENERGY

................... XX

C H A P T E R 1 1 R O L E - P L AY

................... XX

CHAPTER 12 THE UNLIMITED

................... XX

CHAPTER 13 BALANCE

................... XX

CONCLUSION ............................................. XX V I N C E S A LV AT O R E

2

ACKNOWLDEGMENTS ............................................. XX


INTRODUCTION

STORY Growing up, I noticed how people pattern their behavior after the person with the most powerful energy. For me, that was my Uncle Al, an entrepreneur and a dynamic aikidoist. I was only eight years old when he taught my cousins and me how to meditate based on the art of aikido. Sitting there in my uncle’s living room, we all experienced the feeling of FLOW! Not too long after that I saw my first aikido demonstration. I knew immediately that this practice wasn’t based on kicking someone’s butt but was an expression of energy on a multidimensional level. I had to do it! I joined an aikido dojo as soon as I could. Soon after attaining my black belt, I moved to Japan in the hopes of serving an apprenticeship with an aikido master at the original dojo. When I met the master teacher, he looked me over and said, “If you really want to be good, kid, follow my advice: For every physical practice you have on the mat, devote the same amount of time to journaling.” Through years of practicing and journaling, I saw the same patterns repeat themselves over and over: fight, flight, and flow. These fight-flight-flow patterns could be seen in my everyday life and in my dojo. The more I understood them, the more I was able to practice at a higher state. PRACTICE Look, feel, read, practice. HOW THIS BOOK IS ORGANIZED This book has thirteen chapters, which reflect the thirteen focuses the original school was based on. They also reflect the thirteen main practices used in my dojo in Reno, Nevada. Each chapter contains pictures, stories, and practices. The pictures are artistic expressions of the chapter’s title. The stories are based on my experiences as a student, mentor, teacher, and dojo director. The practices are expressions of what I have learned from playing all these different roles.


NOTES

CHAPTER ONE O B S E R V AT I O N


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

A I K I D O M O V E M E N T S B A S E D O N A PAT T E R N O F P E A C E

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

At the market there were three men selling vegetables, all from the same farm. One of the men was instantly likable. Everybody wanted to buy from him, and he far outsold the other two men. He had an air about him that was peaceful and competent.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

PRACTICE Practice the shaking-hand exercise. In the fight state, the handshake has a dominating feel to it, the power to overwhelm, which the other person can sense. In the flight state the handshake is weak, there’s no eye contact, and no feeling of confidence is transmitted through the handshake. In the flow state, the shake has just the right amount of pressure, and there’s loving energy and eye contact with the other person.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

BLENDING, DANCING WITH

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A mother and daughter were at the county fair with a specific purpose in mind. The daughter felt it was time to get married. She wanted to have children before she grew too old. Her mother was famous as a matchmaker, and of course she would find the perfect husband for her daughter.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The daughter told her mother, “I don’t even know how to start.” The mother responded, “You can learn a lot by the way a man dances. A man who dances well is thoughtful, and is good with children.” Soon after, the daughter found a man who was attractive to her. She wanted to dance with him but was too shy. Her mother encouraged her to get close and try dancing with him. The girl finally got up the courage. The man noticed the girl getting close. He turned to his friend and said, “Oh, boy, she is trying to figure out if I will make a good husband.” PRACTICE Practice dancing in three different ways: Fight equals a mosh pit, an angry dance. Flight equals running away from others and not dancing. Flow equals a fluid waltz.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

MARTIAL ART

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

An anthropologist who studied conflict and martial arts traveled from town to town to see how people dealt with conflict. He realized that every town, every city, and every state had a different martial art. He expanded his research by traveling around the world. In some places people were more apt to kick, in some they were more apt to punch, and in some they were more apt to use a weapon. After many months of study, he realized that the predominant behavior in all conflict focused on fight, flight, or flow.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Fight: How do you fight things? Physically act it out.

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Flight: How do you evade things? Physically act it out.

NOTES

Flow: How do you flow with things? Physically act it out.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

L I F E O R D E AT H S I T U AT I O N S

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

Mary was in a therapy session with an exceptionally skillful therapist. The therapist hypnotized Mary and extracted all the traumatic stories she had buried in her subconscious, bringing them to a conscious level. Once Mary became aware of these stories, she realized they were in her past and not real anymore. She was able to let go of the fear and the story. She experienced many breakthroughs and growth in her life.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

Pick a situation that could cause conflict and visualize fight energy: Engage to neutralize the threat quickly, with the least amount of damage. Now visualize flight energy: Escape from danger. And now visualize flow: Don’t engage in conflict over trivial matters.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

SELF-DEFENSE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Matilda wondered why she didn’t walk anymore and was concerned that she had gained weight. After some introspection, she realized that she was fearful of walking down the street and therefore had stopped walking because too many of her favorite destinations felt dangerous to her. She decided to take a self-defense class to build her confidence.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

After several weeks, Matilda felt like she could escape dangerous situations. She started walking again and soon lost some weight and became a more confident and positive person overall.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Go for a walk down the street, any street you choose. Notice when you feel in danger. See if you feel confrontational toward others at any time, if the fight energy comes up in you. Do you want to escape from a potential situation? When do feel as if you are in the state of flow as you walk down the street?

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

In the movie Roadhouse, the two main characters, played by Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot, are based on a friend of mine, Peyton Quinn. The movie is about a cooler, who is someone who cools off situations so there is the least amount of violence possible and an establishment can make money.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

Remember, real life and movies can differ! PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Soft communication skills allow you to soften the conflict and help people to resolve conflict nonviolently.

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Remember a time when you were involved in a conflict.

NOTES

Now practice what you could have said to de-escalate the situation.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

T H E W AY Y O U T R A I N

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

No one wanted to train with Fester Jones. He always had something to prove. He applied the techniques so hard that often whoever he was practicing with would be in fear.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

One day in training Fester bowed into the class, and no one wanted to bow back. To get a partner to train with, he had to run right in front of another student and bow to him before that student could run away. One day a newer student trained with Fester and had a very bad experience. The student came to the chief instructor immediately afterward and said, “My gosh, the way that guy trains, I don’t think he will have any friends here.”

PRACTICE

The chief instructor replied, “Your powers of observation are very strong. I would advise you to be quicker than he is so that you never have to bow into him.”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The new student turned to the instructor and said, “I wish you would be quicker in teaching him how to observe his own behavior.” The teacher responded, “That is a very good observation.” PRACTICE Pick an activity you enjoy and observe your level of forcefulness. Do you not apply enough force? Do you apply too much force? Are you good at observing and being able to apply the appropriate amount of force?

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

R E L AT I O N S H I P S

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

There was once a student who had a hard time getting along with another student. The first student said to the teacher, “I just can’t get along with him! He uses too much force and isn’t following what we are doing in class. Is there something we can do about him?”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The teacher responded, “As long as it isn’t dangerous, I recommend that you continue to train with him occasionally. Every relationship is like a mirror. The fact that you are able to see particular negative traits in someone else means that on some level those negative traits are also within you. Please reflect on this. If you still feel that the student is not working the way the exercise intends, how can you let him know nicely?”

PRACTICE

The student answered, “Isn’t that your job?”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The teacher responded, “Yes, sometimes, but I also want you to learn how to develop relationships even with the people who aren’t easy to work with.” PRACTICE Grab a partner, or find a wall. Start to push into her or it. Next try to grab something on a wall, or the person, and try to pull it. Do not try to flow with the wall. How does it feel?

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

LEVELS OF WIN-WIN

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

When I first met my business mentor, I had to explain the art of aikido to him. I told him that it is a physical demonstration of conflict resolution in which the defender, to the best of her ability, still has regard for not damaging the attacker, basically taking a negative event and creating a win-win situation. My mentor told me that these days any company that wants to survive has to practice win-win. The only successful companies will be those creating business ventures that are mutually beneficial.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Fight: Parry down hard on an attacker’s arm.

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Flight: The defender’s arm has insignificant power.

NOTES

Flow: Flow down with the attacker 100 percent, with flow and connection.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

FORMULA

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

One day in Japan some students were eating dinner while a TV show played in the background. The show compared different ways of seeing nature and demonstrated how an ancient shaman and a modern-day university professor would view growing the best crops for the year. The shaman prayed and created a concoction of various materials. The professor used weather charts and formulas, combined with computer analysis.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

The students watching the show started to debate which approach was best, the shaman’s or the professor’s. At that moment the master spoke up and said, “They both have enough wisdom in their formula to accomplish their mission.” PRACTICE Create a formula for a project you are working on, using the perfect mixture of fight, flight, and flow energies.

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER TWO

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

THE ENERGY FEEL

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

THE GUY WRITING THIS

POSITIVE ENERGY

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

A young man focused all his efforts on being strong. After becoming strong, he put all his focus on being a martial artist. After becoming very strong and a high-level martial artist, he still felt that something was missing. Through deep contemplation and physical practice, he experienced a monumental expansion in his consciousness and state of being. This was the day that aikido was created.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE Go clean your house with love!

PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

Fight is based on determination! Flight is escaping from negativity! Flow is based on love!

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

THE GUY WRITING THIS

N E G AT I V E E N E R G Y

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A caveman wanted to walk across the valley to get water at the nearby stream. Suddenly he saw a caveman from another tribe. Both cavemen felt threatened. They picked up sticks, started screaming, and bashed away at each other until they bled.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

This was the beginning of A COMMON FIGHT.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE Waste an hour of your time. Space out, be overly aggressive, and don’t commit to anything.

PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

THE GUY WRITING THIS

T H E P E R C E N TA G E S

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A dog breeder tried to breed the perfect dog. He took the perfect mixture of several breeds to create a dog that was good-natured, athletic, and above average in intelligence. After breeding the perfect dog, he asked his family members what they thought. His wife appreciated all his work, yet she could see something that her husband could not. She expressed that the best dog for the family was any type of dog, as long as it was raised with love. So they kept their “perfect” dog and raised it with love.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Percentages change according to the activity and the situation.

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Match the percentage of fight, flight, and flow that feels right.

NOTES

This is good kimochi.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

THE GUY WRITING THIS

KEEP IT SIMPLE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

There was once a doctor of four different sciences who was extremely intelligent. The problem was that she wasn’t able to get along with her colleagues. She was sent to a seminar to study getting along with others in the workplace. In the seminar she learned many different practices. In fact, she learned more than a hundred different methods of getting along with others. In the end the doctor realized that if she kept things very simple, just listening to what others had to say and taking her time to clearly express what she needed, everything would become easy.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

PRACTICE The vertical sword cut is a very simple and exact way of attaining clarity. You can just gesture in the air, or you can pick up a stick and do some vertical sword cuts, especially when you need clarity.

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER THREE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

SOUND

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER THREE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

T H E G U I D E D M E D I TAT O R

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

All the best speakers, storytellers, motivators, managers, and leaders have something in common. They have the ability to use their voice, connected with their energy and attention, to transmit very profound messages to the listeners. A motivator can change people’s lives simply by using intonation and the inflection of his voice.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

My aikido teacher could be a half acre away from a group of us, and even though he wasn’t raising his voice, we could still hear what he was saying because his voice traveled so well. PRACTICE Keep developing your storytelling; be bold, clear, imaginative, loving, and masterful. Pick a story right now geared toward a specific audience, and deliver it with the intention of developing your voice.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER THREE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

VOICE / SOUND

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

In martial arts the kiai is very well-known. The founder of aikido used the kiai in a very specific way. He used it as a harmonious energetic human sound in accord with the movement of physical conflict resolution. My aikido teacher once instructed us to develop a voice that could make a grown man cry. (He meant this in a positive sense, not a violent one.)

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

PRACTICE Every time you speak today, imagine that you have a voice coach or singing coach who is listening. Keep defining your voice. Enjoy the process.

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER FOUR

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

MIND

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FOUR

THE GUY WRITING THIS

OPEN THE MIND

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Johnny kept trying harder and harder to make his techniques more effective. He was overly concerned with what was effective and what was not. The teacher suggested to him that he adjust his attitude so that he could see the beauty behind all technique.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

When the student got a broader sense of the technique, he was able to apply it in various situations. When his attitude changed, he was open to a bigger sense of things. There was a large shift in his training, which also was reflected in his life outside the dojo. PRACTICE Open your mind; it’s a new day every day!

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

CHAPTER FOUR

M E D I T A T I N G W H I L E W A T C H I N G T V, S U R F I N G T H E I N T E R N E T, P L A Y I N G V I D E O G A M E S

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

STORY

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

Bobby G. realized that he had become numb from watching so much television and playing violent, gratuitous video games. He read an article once stating that the first Dirty Harry movie was originally rated X because of all the violence. He realized that some of the TV programs broadcast on TV were much more graphic than any of the Dirty Harry movies and became determined to stop watching so much television. When Bobby G. did watch television or use any other type of media, he would try to stay aware that all the ridiculous violence had nothing to do with a beautiful life in the real world.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Watch any program that has an advertising sponsor, and ask yourself: Are the advertisers putting me in a fight, flight, or flow response?

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

You always have the power to use your mind positively by positively shutting off negative programs.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FOUR

THE GUY WRITING THIS

LEARNING

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

One day a student was washing the windows at the front of the dojo when the teacher walked in and said hello. The student asked the teacher, “What is the best way to learn?”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

The teacher responded, “You are learning right now. Just like that sponge in your hand, you are holding information and using it in a positive way. You want your mind to be like a happy sponge. Squeeze out the stuff you don’t want. Suck in the stuff that you do want, and keep cleaning and developing your mind.”

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

PRACTICE How easy is it for you to absorb new information? How can you make it more fun? How easy is it for you to squeeze out negative information? How can you make it more fun? How easy is it for you to flow with information? How can you make it more fun?

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FOUR

THE GUY WRITING THIS

LIFE MYSTERIES

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A young child constantly asked his mother about anything he didn’t understand. What is that? What does that mean? Usually his mother would take the time to answer with great care and consideration. Sometimes she would say, “Well, son, that’s part of the mystery of life.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

As the boy grew, he came to understand that things that were formerly mysteries had now become understandings. He told his mother, “Really, there are no mysteries; there are just things not understood at this moment.”

PRACTICE

His mother responded, “Some things should always remain mysteries in this life. And this can be good because it will keep you in the natural flow of things.”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

PRACTICE Let yourself have your own mysteries; do not try to solve them. Let others have their own minds, their own ways, and their own mysteries.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FOUR

THE GUY WRITING THIS

T H E PA S T

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The student asked the teacher, “Why is philosophy always connected with technique?” The teacher answered, “In the beginning, the technique is a reference point for you to physically engage the body, mind, and energy. This is the first stage. In the next stage, wisdom is built into the technique to help you develop the skill to rise above the intrinsic fight-or-flight response. When you are training, always know that there is something beyond just physical movement.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Fight and flight are in the past.

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The present moment, or the now, is in flow. Go out and prove it to the world.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FOUR

THE GUY WRITING THIS

C O N T E M P L AT I O N

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

A very wise old woman who was a merchant sold beautiful gowns for special occasions, all sewn by hand with a lot of love and skill. The old woman’s grandson was fascinated by his grandmother’s passion and her skill in dealing with a variety of people. Her ability to meet her customers’ needs and deliver an excellent product went way beyond that of the average merchant. Because he respected her so much, the grandson asked her many questions about life. The grandmother would always rephrase his questions in a positive way to enlighten her grandson and to put him on the path of being able to provide a service for others, beyond just doing a job.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

To get to a higher level of performance, practice verbal aikido any time you are someone else.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

Practice this by yourself as well. Keep it positive, and keep it open-ended so that either alone or with another you are able to come to a beautiful conclusion. If you are in a conflict situation, practice verbal aikido to be peaceful and powerful.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FOUR

THE GUY WRITING THIS

THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND - FOR BETTER OR WORSE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Two women friends went out for coffee once a week. One friend always used the time to complain about things from her past. She complained about her parents, about her upbringing. She complained about her schooling and how it wasn’t sufficient for today’s marketplace. She complained about how others had more than she, about how she was unable to compete with her neighbors. She complained about her children and how they weren’t given the starting positions on the soccer team. She complained about the new waiter at the coffee shop and how he ignored her.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

One day her friend stood up and said, “Initially I agreed to meet with you so that we could discuss things and evolve as friends and as people. But I feel that I’m stuck in a soap opera with you. You keep remembering the past so that you can stay in the past, and I only want to remember the past so that I can move on. Please stop it. Say something positive, or I’ll go to a different coffee shop with a different friend.” The other friend was silent. She thought about it, paused, and asked if she could go to the different coffee shop too. PRACTICE Decide to go into your subconscious mind. You will need courage to go there. Some interesting things are lurking in the shadows. What’s in there? Practice going into your mind and releasing the subconscious so that the mind can be freer. Release and flow.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER FIVE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

GOALS

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FIVE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

MANAGING OTHERS

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

There was once a man who was very successful at accomplishing his goals. In fact, he became a master at goal setting. This man was able to acquire massive wealth and fame. One day he looked around and realized he was all by himself. This didn’t feel right, and after some reflection, he realized that his goals did not include other people. He changed his goals so he could help others accomplish what they wanted, and so that he could also accomplish his own goals by helping others. This felt very good.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

PRACTICE Pick one of your goals and write down everyone who will be affected when you accomplish it. List every person. It could also be the environment, a company from which you used to purchase goods, anything you can think of. Now revisit and set a new goal so that, to the best of your ability, you can be in harmony with everyone and everything on your list.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FIVE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

R U L E S O F E N G A G E M E N T & H E A LT H Y F I G H T I N G

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A black belt in aikido, who had trained in a very energetic style, went to Japan to study at the original aikido school. In his first training, he encountered a man who used a tremendous amount of physical force and blocked all his movements. The visitor was not sure how to handle the other man’s attacks because it had not been articulated what was expected in this training session. He went along with the training and did his best to follow the rules of engagement for this class. The next time he went to train, he was able to use more physical force because he had learned by experiencing and observing what the other students were doing. If he had fought the person the first day, he never would have learned from the experience of training.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

PRACTICE What are the rules of engagement in your family? In any group where you are a member?

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FIVE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

DEALING WITH CRITICISM

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Every time the teacher demonstrated or explained a technique, one student would question. This student also kept up a nonstop internal questioning that was visible in his facial expression. After class, the student questioned everything that was done to the other students in the class. He had a lot of doubt, and self-doubt.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The student was so busy asking questions that he was unable to observe what was going on in the moment. He was unable to hear what was said because his mind was so busy chattering. One day the teacher said to him, “It’s fine to question anything that you do, but if you only question, you will never experience. Be careful that your questions don’t get in the way of experiencing.” PRACTICE Remember a time when you or another person fell into the pattern of blaming or shaming another. Now go to the practice of inviting the other person to listen to your criticisms or to share hers in a safe place. Remain neutral and in a state of flow instead of fighting or running away from the criticism.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER FIVE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

THE DIRECTION IN LIFE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Jezebel was very ambitious. She dreamed of traveling the world and experiencing many wonderful things. She became quite expert at experiencing the world in an effortless way. One day Jezebel realized that she had lost her map. She started to struggle, and her traveling became more and more haphazard. She had gotten distracted and became dissatisfied with the whole adventure. Jezebel sat down and drew out another map. She decided that she would follow the new map and that along the way, if she needed to change direction, she would flow with the changes instead of fighting them. At the same time she was willing to stay the course. She became happy again.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

PRACTICE Point your nose, point your navel, and point your fingertips all in the same direction. Relax and feel your nose, naval, and fingertips pointing in the same direction. Now go for a walk and feel the direction of your life.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER SIX

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

GOALS

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SIX

THE GUY WRITING THIS

DON’T GIVE UP

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A young student was training with a master at a very famous dojo. Because of a miscommunication, the master forbade the student to keep training at the dojo. Although the student knew that this was due to the miscommunication, he could not address the matter with the master because it would jeopardize the reputation of a third party who the student did not want to affect.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The student persevered and trained by himself and continued to pay the monthly dues to keep supporting the school and the master’s work. Every month, when the student went to pay his dues, he was greeted by the master’s wife.

PRACTICE

One day, after ten months, when the student went to pay his dues, the master greeted him at the front door and said, “I haven’t seen you training recently; why don’t come tomorrow and train?”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The student began training again, and the relationship between the student and the master became very strong because of the student’s demonstration of perseverance. PRACTICE Make a list of all the times in the past when you have been able to persevere, of all the things you were able to fight for without giving up. Now think about the present. In what ways are you able to persevere now? Now go into the future and think about the things that may come up that will require your perseverance.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SIX

THE GUY WRITING THIS

GETTING KNOCKED ON YOUR BUTT

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Sometimes training in a dojo is set up so that the student will experience failure. An important lesson here is to keep getting up to fight, even through the failure. If there were no failures, your perseverance, your fighting power, your willpower would not be strong. Being sheltered from failure does not teach you to extend beyond winning or losing and to persevere.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Billy had never failed because he put a great deal of effort into his practice. But on occasion the teacher set up a way for him to fail, and Billy became very discouraged. The real lesson was for him to experience failure and to work his way through it. Perseverance is not easy, but it is very valuable. PRACTICE Practice falling down and getting right back up again. If you do not know how to fall, go to your local aikido dojo for instructions.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SIX

THE GUY WRITING THIS

W AT C H F O R T H E T O U G H S T U F F I N L I F E

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

One gift of youth is the belief in one’s indestructibility. A group of young bucks were very focused on the physical abilities of their art. They took their health for granted and never considered any other possibility because they were young. One day one member of the group was suddenly taken by a tragic accident. One of the surviving students asked the master, “Teacher, how do I deal with this person’s death?”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

The master responded, “This is all practice.” At first the student was taken aback, but upon further reflection he realized that, yes, it is practice because everyone will perish one day. The lesson is not to take things for granted. PRACTICE Tell someone in your life how much you appreciate her.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SIX

THE GUY WRITING THIS

F R O M B I G F R U S T R AT I O N T O B I G B R E A K T H R O U G H

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A student was told that art is based on nature. When the student asked about this, the teacher responded, “Just as the waves in the ocean rise and fall, so it is with your life. You will have highs, lows, and crests, and it’s important to stay in flow with the waves of life. When you fight the waves you fight the natural course of life. If you always run away from the waves, you won’t really experience life. The best way is to actually be in flow with the waves.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Get into a stance with the feet a little wider than shoulder distance apart. Extend your arms in a relaxed way.

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Start swinging your arms in an effortless wavelike motion to reproduce the flowing motion of waves. As you do this exercise, relate it to the ups and downs and the flow of your life.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SIX

THE GUY WRITING THIS

W O R S T- C A S E S C E N A R I O S

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A man was concerned about being able to protect himself in a violent street situation. He decided to take a self-defense class.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

The first thing the class covered was worst-case scenarios and how to escape them. The students were taught how to fight back without any hesitation so that they could feel empowered. They were taught how to be so aware that 99 percent of all dangerous situations can be avoided through practicing peaceful awareness. They were taught to be prepared, but not over-prepared. When you are over-prepared for self-defense situations, your life can start to resemble a violent, paranoid movie.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

PRACTICE Walk into a room and instantly know all the exits and all the barriers that could potentially keep you from these exits.

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER SEVEN

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

BODY

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

THE EXPRESSIVE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

The teacher described an aikido class as a symphony. Everyone’s body is an instrument, and the better trained the body is, the more beautiful the songs produced from the instrument will be. When all the individual instruments are played together, a wonderful symphony, with beautiful expression, is created. The instructor acts as the conductor, and everyone is in harmony, producing a concert that everyone wants to be a part of and listen to.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Take a look at your posture at work. If you’re in fight mode, your posture probably looks stressed. If you’re in flight mode, it probably looks fearful. If you’re in flow mode, your posture probably looks healthy and balanced.

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Practice good posture all day at work.

NOTES

Make it fun, and make sure you stay in the flow.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

WALKING

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The teacher told a student to walk like an aikidoist. When the student asked what that meant, the teacher responded, “You need to be in your posture, and in your power. When you walk down the street, everyone can tell what your state is. Everyone can see whether or not you are an accomplished person. Walking is something that everybody does, and yet many times we are unaware of how we are doing it. Be aware of how you walk because how you walk determines the state of your body and power.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Notice who is ahead of you. That is your mentor.

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Notice who is behind you, and feel empathy for her.

NOTES

Notice who is near you, and encourage him to walk with you.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

THE FIVE SENSES

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A blind man walked into the dojo asking if he could learn the art of aikido.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The teacher responded, “Yes, of course you can do aikido. You just have to be able to see through your sense of touch and the rest of the five senses.” The blind man responded that he only had four of the five the senses. The teacher responded, “No, you have the sense of sight because if you didn’t you wouldn’t have been able to find and enter the aikido school. Something in your insight told you that this was the right place for you. Your intuition, formed through transcending the common concept of sense, will help you to develop as a person in the art of aikido. You actually have an advantage over the majority of students who come to the dojo.” PRACTICE Use your five senses to see the things that you fight. Use your five senses to see the things that you run away from. Use your five senses to see the things that you are in harmony with.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

ACTION / ACTIVITY

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

Victor heard that there was an exercise at an aikido dojo that could help people who had become complacent. He entered the dojo and asked the chief instructor about exercise and health. The instructor responded, “Everything in the universe is based on flow. Your mind, your body, and your energy all want to flow. Money and commerce are also based on flow. Society and evolution are based on flow. Conflict and resolution are based on flow. And your personal health is based on flow; when you stop moving, the body has the potential to become sick. So before you get sick, move out of the complacent state and focus on flow. You will surely improve your health. Let’s train.”

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Choose any exercise you like to do.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

Whatever exercise you pick, realize when it is necessary or beneficial to use fight energy. Realize when it is necessary to use flight energy. Notice when you are in the flow state, and how you can maintain it. Remember that all three energies are useful to understand and use.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

THE LAW OF PHYSICS

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A student was training and experiencing resistance from the attacker. The student asked the teacher, “How can I do these techniques? It seems impossible with these people resisting and being so heavy.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

The teacher responded, “Make them light.”

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

PRACTICE What things in your life do you continually make heavy?

PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

Write them down. Practice making them light.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

HEALING ENERGY

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The master had relieved a student from pain. The student asked the master how he had become so skillful in his healing abilities. The master responded, “From my youth, I have learned that it is vital to have skillful use of my hands. In the East we use chopsticks, and it is important to be skillful in your everyday usage and how you eat. In the West this could be compared to the ability to use a knife to peel an apple. If you waste too much of the fruit when peeling the apple, you know you must practice to become skillful.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The student responded, “What if I’m not hungry?” “Well, don’t eat.” PRACTICE Practice massaging yourself with awareness of the pressure you’re using. Now use the three forces of fight, and flight, and flow and see how they relate. Fight could be equal to a penetrating, deep-tissue massage. Flight could relate to directing the energy around the body and through the body to promote flow. Flow is the next level you discover from your practice.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

HARA

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The businessman said to the master, “My company is successful. I am responsible for twentyfive workers and their families. We have come to a place where we feel we need to expand so that we do not stay complacent in the marketplace. I have done all the analytics and research, and still I feel unsure of how to proceed. Do you have any advice? “

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The master looked him directly in the eye and said, “Have you done as much research as you possibly can?” The businessman responded, “Yes, I have.”

PRACTICE

The master asked, “Do you always run your business from your mind?”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The businessman responded, “No, in business you have to go from your gut.” The master responded, “What does your gut tell you?” The businessman responded, “We have to go forward and expand.” The master said, “Okay, so go ahead and do it. “ PRACTICE Think of a problem or situation that requires a solution. Now move around from your gut, and step-by-step feel what your gut is telling you. Now release and feel what your gut is telling you.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

B R E AT H I N G C O N T R O L

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

A man came to the master and said he had initially joined the dojo to improve his breathing. He had heard that breathing was very important and that through the art of aikido you could greatly improve your breathing and hence your health. The man felt that this was not being addressed in his everyday practice and wanted to complain. The teacher looked at him and said, “In every exercise that you do, connect your breathing to the exercise. Breathe at the same speed that you physically move. Breathe so that you can energetically feel everything that you’re doing. Keep the pace of breath congruent with the intention of the technique.”

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

In any activity you engage in, develop the breathing that fits it.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER EIGHT

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

G R AT I T U D E

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

FEELING

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Johnny was getting very good at all his techniques. In fact, he thought he was better than everybody else, even people with much more experience in the dojo and in life. He would often challenge others in subtle ways to show that he was superior to them. Johnny had lost his beginner’s mind.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

One day the master came to him and said, “You have really improved your technique and you are very strong. But I feel you’re not catching on to the essence of aikido. Along with your technical knowledge you need to be able to open up your heart; you need to develop your heart. The founder of aikido described it as the martial art of love. Even though that may not make sense to you now, I recommend that you work on the aikido of the heart.” PRACTICE Become emotionally alive. Feel the emotions arising in conflict, in harmony, in everyday life, in training. Write them out, act them out, feel them out, let them out—all the fight, flight, and flow feelings.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

FEAR

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The student asked the teacher, “Will I ever be rid of my fear?”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The teacher responded, “Probably not. You need some fear, but to live in fear continuously is a sickness, and you don’t want to go through life being sick. The media promote a culture of fear. Most martial arts are based on a fear culture. The intention of our art is to move beyond fear so that you can be a loving person who is also powerful. Fear can also add to a culture of violence—defense and attack. Weapons, gated communities, an eagerness to litigate are all common in our society and can be traced back to a culture of fear. When you train, one of your objectives should be to recognize and understand your fear, to release it, and to develop positive energy.” PRACTICE Write down all the things that fear has stopped you from doing. Using your intelligence, go out and do the things that will help you in your evolution beyond fear.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

LOVE ENERGY

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The mayor tried to rule the community by intimidation and fight-and-flight energy. He got really good at intimidating other politicians and community leaders. He gained a lot of power, and he also gained a lot of weight. Suddenly, he fell ill and went to an alternative medicine doctor. The doctor diagnosed him as being cut off from love energy. The mayor looked at him like he was crazy, rejected his diagnosis, and went home to talk to his wife. His wife was a very warm woman who loved him very much. She had seen that he had used his power too aggressively because this was the pattern that he had experienced growing up. After some deep consideration, his wife said, “Darling, you have tried the hard way; how about trying the loving way?”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

PRACTICE Practice hugging yourself. Feel the love energy that resides within you. Hug others, and feel the love energy.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

EMOTIONAL ENERGY

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Mary often became upset and cried. She also became frustrated with people who could not see her point of view and with people at work who did not follow her directions. When she drove down the street she would often curse other drivers. When she ate dinner, she would watch the news and exclaim over how terrible the community had become.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

NOTES

One day Mary went shopping, which she often did to try to feel good about herself. While she was shopping, she had a spiritual revelation that she was wasting valuable resources and energy. She left her shopping cart right where it was and walked into the store’s parking lot. She sat down on a bench, closed her eyes, and started to feel all the emotions flowing through her body. Once she was able to feel the flow of emotions she started to feel better. In that moment Mary knew she had changed. PRACTICE Think of any activity that carries a lot of emotions for you. It can be any type of activity. The emotions could be considered good or not so good. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the practice of allowing them to flow.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

MISOGI

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

When a person goes through an intense self-defense course, a lot of emotional energy arises. This can be due to all the things that have been suppressed from the past: trauma, fear, inadequacy. Many things can be buried emotionally. The practice of self-defense can be used as a tool to bring up buried emotions and help the person move beyond limitations. Self-defense is the art of survival. But staying at the level of pure survival will never lead to transformation. The first stage of self-defense is, in dangerous situations, to rise above the limiting emotions within you. Just as we use the feather duster to clean the altar at the head of the mat, we can use self-defense as a tool to remove the dirt residing inside us. Polish yourself!

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

PRACTICE Go out and clean your car, clean your room, clean whatever! Make sure to do it with full awareness of all your emotional energy. Relate the outer object that you are cleaning to the inner emotional self, and clean it until it shines.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The new supervisor received many complaints from his employees. But this wasn’t the thing that really bothered him. The thing that bothered him most were the people who would say yes to his face but criticize him behind his back. He started looking for ways to get revenge. Luckily he had a mentor, and the mentor told him to slow down and realize that this dynamic is part of human nature. Use all this as fodder, but in a good way, as a way to get better. Do not send aggression to others about what’s gone on. The new supervisor realized that this was a new practice for him, and even to this day he is appreciative of his mentor.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

PRACTICE This is a silly one. Scream into your pillow at home. Look for a mentor to help you through difficult situations, or become a mentor and coach others, using your emotional intelligence. Practice staying positive using your positive emotional intelligence.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

PERSONALITY

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The group hired a psychologist to help raise their level of development. Everyone had to take a psychological test to move up to a position of leadership. Many people were opposed to having to take a test. They thought it was a violation of who they were as people. They didn’t feel it was necessary.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The psychologist said, “If your personality is in order, then you probably don’t have a personality disorder, which about 15 percent of the population suffers from.” A woman asked, “What if someone is hiding who he or she really is?”

PRACTICE

The psychologist responded, “We have two parts to our personality. We’re not looking to change people from whom they feel they are. We just want to protect the group from people with personalities that are potentially dangerous.”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The woman responded, “You mean it’s kind of like personality self-defense?” PRACTICE The first practice is to be able to accept your personality for what it is. The next practice is to be able to accept other people’s personalities. The third practice is to see how your personality has been influenced by the fight, flight, and flow energies.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

THE HABIT OF WORRYING

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A student was awarded a scholarship at the dojo. His family didn’t have a lot of resources, yet they knew the benefits of aikido and that this little student needed structure, physical activity, and focus. The student was grateful. He showed good discipline and good manners in every class. He was thoughtful and observant.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

One day he noticed a very affluent family parking their luxury car in the dojo parking lot. The children wore expensive clothing. The student said to the master, “Sensei, if I was in that family I would never have anything to worry about.”

PRACTICE

The teacher responded, “That’s not true. Most people worry, regardless of how much money and luxury they have. Wealthy people worry about the same things that you do. They just worry about them in a different way.”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The student said, “I wish I was able to worry about those things the same way that they do.” PRACTICE Write down a list of everything you worry about, and why you worry about it. Take your time, and go into depth. Now find a recycling bin and toss the list in.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

HUMOR

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The new student bought many textbooks on the subject of aikido. She read all the aikido blogs. She did a ton of research and was really meticulous. She would often reprimand herself for not being able to perform a technique perfectly the first time.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Sometimes she would make mistakes or just get lost and tighten up her body. After class she would go home and read more blogs and more books; she would overthink and overstudy. The teacher noticed this and pulled her over to the mirror. He asked her to look into the mirror and notice what she saw. She looked and said, “I see my face and my body.” He said, “Yes, that’s what you see. But do you also see a perfect human being there?” She said, “No.” The teacher said, “Well, I do. It’s just perfect to be imperfect.” She looked at herself and started to laugh and realized that she had a serious case of overseriousness. They both laughed. She progressed much more quickly after that day. PRACTICE This is a very serious practice! I want you to laugh with fight energy. I want you to laugh with flight energy. I want you to laugh with a flowing energy. Do not make this too serious.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE GUY WRITING THIS

INSTINCTUAL STUFF

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Teresa was a business owner. When she started out, she asked people throughout the community their opinions on what she should do to run a successful business. Everyone gave her a different opinion.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Teresa wrote a business plan using a combination of what everyone had recommended to her. She thought this was the best way. In the first two years of running her business she had many hard struggles. She blamed it on the economy, her workers, her family, and anything else she could think of. One day while walking to work, Teresa saw a dancer in front of the bank dancing for money. The dancer moved so fluidly, was so limber and lithe. Usually Teresa would not pay attention to someone performing. Hypnotized by the dancer’s performance, she stayed and watched till the end of the dance. Teresa approached the dancer and said, “That was fabulous! How did you do that?” The dancer responded, “I just go with my gut feeling. I give a performance based on what I sense the audience needs today.” Teresa realized in a flash of insight that she wasn’t following her instincts. PRACTICE Pick a small business; it could be any type of business. Walk in the front door and immediately feel whether you would for sure like to do business there, possibly do business there, or never do business there.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER NINE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

R E L AT I O N S H I P S

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER NINE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A husband and wife had the ultimate goal of being in flow with each other. The husband was very careful to clearly understand what his goals were in the relationship: to give love; to have patience and tolerance, understanding that in relationship he and his wife would not see eye to eye on everything; and to acknowledge that in every special relationship, partners sometimes need a break to revitalize it. When he remembered those three things, his marriage flowed. He and his wife experienced peace and pleasure in their daily lives.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

When he forgot these goals, his life was full of strife. He also knew that it was important to be in a group focused on positive practices. Even though he was in a positive group, he realized that sometimes group members would not see things eye to eye. He knew that sometimes he would need time to process what was being created by the group. He realized that personal growth can be exponentially expanded when the group members have healthy relationships with one another. PRACTICE Be nice to your partner or the members of any group you are in. They know all your habits; you know all their habits. Be nice. Cook a meal for them.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER NINE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

KNOW YOURSELF FIRST

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The self-defense class had started just on time. .Frank had heard so much about the class and had waited quite a long time until his schedule allowed him to participate. He was following all the exercises intently. The instructor approached him and said, “We’re going to take it up a notch. Are you ready?”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Frank said that he was. Yet every time they started to engage in an exercise, he felt himself running away from it. In the next series of exercises, the instructor encouraged Frank to stay focused and to diffuse the situation. In this series of exercises he was overly aggressive and couldn’t focus in the manner the instructor wanted. By the end of the class, Frank was frustrated and felt he couldn’t get anything out of this seminar. The instructor sensed Frank’s frustration. He said to Frank, “Don’t worry. You did just fine.” Frank responded, “Yes, but I feel I wasn’t able to actually do any of the exercises with the intentions that you had for us.” “That’s not really the case. Today you learned a lot about yourself. And that’s one of the most important things to learn in any type of self-defense class.” PRACTICE Think of a high-pressure situation from the past that you are overly aggressive in. Think of a high-pressure situation from the past that you ran from. Think of a high-pressure situation from the past in which you spaced out. Don’t be hard on yourself. Start to understand yourself.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER NINE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

DRIVE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A student arrived at the dojo a little late. He had a very disturbed look on his face. The teacher asked him, “What’s the matter?”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

The student burst out, “People nowadays are such crazy drivers! I was behind this guy, and I tried to pass but he wouldn’t let me. Finally I was able to pass him. He tailgated me the whole way to the dojo. First I was furious, and then I was scared. I didn’t want him to know where I was going, so I went around the block three times.”

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

At that moment, the teacher recalled that he had once driven with this student. The teacher’s fingers had nearly penetrated the dashboard because of the aggressiveness of the student’s driving. The teacher had been pushing the invisible brake pedals on the floorboard! When the student stopped the car, the teacher had a cramp in his thigh muscle from pressing so hard. After remembering this ride, the teacher said to the student, “The road is out there to share, and sometimes I let people pass. I practice patience so that I get to my destination in a very calm way.” The student said, “You are driving me crazy.” PRACTICE Go out in your car or your bicycle, or just walk down a busy city block. Notice when you feel aggressive, or when you feel other people are aggressive. Notice when you feel fear. Notice when you are in harmony with commuters, pedestrians, and all the others traveling the same road.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER NINE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

RAISING KIDS

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A mother came to the teacher with some frustration. She said, “I really feel my child is not progressing. He has been coming here for three months, and I haven’t seen any significant changes. He has been a little bit more polite, I would have to say. He is more attentive when I’m speaking. I’ve noticed his communication skills are better now. I also noticed that he is more aware of what he’s watching on television. Yet I still feel he’s not making the kind of progress that I would like to see.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The teacher said, “What if you were training? How long do you think it would take you to make the changes that you want to see in your child? I am not trying to tell you to not judge your child’s performance, but I am recommending that we practice patience. We do our best to coach our children. We still need to practice patience. When we do, they not only learn more skills, but they also learn patience.” The mother responded, “I think you’re right. It’s a really good point. Now would you please pardon me? I need to text my friend.” PRACTICE Practice three different types of coaching with your children or with someone you are mentoring. First, try giving them positive coaching. Go overboard with sincerity, look for the good, and praise them for it. Next, ignore them. Be very rude about it and see how that feels for them and you. Finally, coach them a little bit, support their growth, and just feel love for them.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER NINE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

F A M I LY M A T T E R S

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

I have been practicing aikido for more than thirty years. Daily, whether I am taking the class or teaching it, I hear the words, “Blend with your partner. Be in harmony with the other. Be at one with the other. When the conflict occurs, it is your job to flow with it. Even in the most violent attack, stay centered and appropriately flow with the aggression.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

I have practiced all these principles on the mat for at least fifteen hours a week. They have been ingrained in my psyche, my physical body, and my behavioral patterns. One day I received a phone call from one of my family members about a family conflict. I tried my best to listen intently. I responded in a way that I thought would help everyone involved. To my surprise, the family member accused me of being a control freak and told me that what I said was exactly what she thought I would say. The next day I relayed the story to a close friend of mine. I told him that I have been practicing conflict resolution for more than thirty years and was still puzzled over how to work with my family. He is a wise man. He responded, “Family matters: that’s why it matters!” PRACTICE Get out a pen and a piece of paper. List all your immediate and important family members. Who do you feel anger toward? Who do you feel in harmony with? What would you like to change about them? What would you like to change about yourself in your relationship with them? Now forget about it all, let it go, and just love them for the way they are. Be there for them when they need you, and if things get too crazy, take a vacation.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER TEN

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

ENERGY

NOTES


CHAPTER

CHAPTER

ONE

TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

KI

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

My wife and I were on vacation in Seattle. It was dinnertime, and she was looking for a Japanese restaurant. We checked out several, and she kept saying, “No, that’s not the right place.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

This continued for quite some time. I was getting a bit tired and frustrated. I started complaining, “When are we going to be able to choose the right place? I’m starving!” My wife said, “These places are too clean. They just don’t feel homey.” I replied, “It will never be homey like our home; that’s why it’s a restaurant!” Just then a motherly looking lady from across the alleyway called out, “Welcome! Our restaurant is now open for business!” My wife looked at me and said, “Now, that looks like a homey restaurant!” PRACTICE Anytime you need to make an important decision, stand up and practice going beyond your mind and body. Feel the energy of the problem you need to solve. Inhale deeply, exhale deeply. Breathe smoothly and softly, and start to feel the energy of the right path. Feel the energy of the situation and get out of your head. Stay in your body and feel through the body. If this doesn’t help, go for a long walk.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

ENERGY BLOCKING

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A particular student was a wonderful man with a great personality. He gave a lot of his time and energy to the aikido school. One day the student lost his job. He was afraid that he would have to quit aikido.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Some of his friends heard about this and offered to pay his tuition. The student was proud and refused adamantly, even though his friends told him he could pay them back later. One day the teacher was training the students to move around the attacker’s force in a circular manner to guide the attacker to the ground. The teacher noticed that this student was so stiff that he was blocking his own power. In a moment of insight, the teacher realized that the student was blocking his power both on the mat and off it. The teacher coached the student in relaxing, and the next week, the student found a new job and continued to train without a glitch. PRACTICE Take a personal inventory of your life. Just keep asking the question, “What am I blocking?” Be open to receiving.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

ALIGNED

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

We were all sitting in a lawyer’s office. Some of us were on the phone via teleconference. We were all there to discuss the future of our aging parents. It was a difficult situation that had to be taken care of. Everyone had a different perspective on how to help.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

At first I thought the conference would go on for a long time. As we got into the discussion, it seemed as if everyone was becoming entrenched in needing to be right. There was also fear about how the solution would affect our parents, and each of us. The lawyer just sat back and listened to the whole drama. He asked a few questions, but I felt he hadn’t done much. I confronted him, saying, “Why are we paying you? It doesn’t seem like you’re really doing anything!” All he said was, “I’m only here to get everybody on the same page. First you have to decide on the book!” PRACTICE Align with the good, the bad and the ugly! The good are the things you agree with. The bad are the things you don’t agree with. The ugly are the ones you really don’t agree with.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

POSITIVE ACTIONS

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

I was living at the original aikido school in Japan for a one-year apprenticeship. Many things were expected of us every day. We would wake up at 5:00 a.m. and clean the grounds of the dojo and shrine for an hour. We would get cleaned up, put on our training uniforms, and prepare for the morning training.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

After morning training, there would be more cleaning of the several acres of grounds. We would clean up and have lunch. Before the evening training, we would clean the dojo and do various other duties before training would begin. One man from Europe commented that he felt he was a cleaning service for the dojo. A senior student responded, “Aikido is based on your positive power. Positive power is demonstrated through positive actions. When you are cleaning and in service to the dojo and its community, you are exemplifying positive action. Cleaning is positive power and positive action, so that’s why we do it so much.” The European man started cleaning, but he didn’t look too positive. PRACTICE Occasionally pick a charity or something positive that you can do that without any thought of reward. Notice how good you feel.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

OVER-POWERING

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Every time I saw Francine she complained that she was tired. Even when she wasn’t complaining, she always looked too tired to do anything. She was overcommitted with her family members, her company, and her hobbies.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

One day I saw her at the supermarket. She looked bent on a vengeance and destruction. I said hello, which stopped her for a moment. I asked her what she was shopping for. She said she needed to get out of the store and make a really quick meal before her son came home. I commented, “Boy, it always looks like you are really busy and stressed about time. Have you ever thought about planning things so that you aren’t always fighting your schedule?” She said, “Yes, I did think about that briefly, and then I realized I just don’t have the time to plan things out.” PRACTICE Practice making faces in the mirror. Make faces of frustration when you don’t have enough time, and any other type of face that you make when you are stressed because of time. Take a good look at that face. Now go practice some time management. Or keep making the face.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

KI TECHNIQUE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A couple wanted to get out into nature. It had been a long time since they had gone camping or hiking. They decided to go for a hike. Without any real planning, they started hiking through the forest. The time just flew. They were enjoying themselves, not really thinking about anything besides just being in the outdoors with the clean air, the wonderful trees, and all the beautiful nature surrounding them.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

They began to notice that the hike had become a little bit of a journey and that the sun was starting to go down. They realized that they had to head back toward the car. They each had a different opinion of which direction to go. One person thought they should go toward the taller pine trees. The other thought that they should go back up the trail. They looked at each other and became worried. One person remembered a technique she had learned several years earlier for getting grounded in your intuition so that you can make a good decision. Together they did the exercise. They concentrated on relaxing their bodies. They shook their arms down until they felt the weight of their bodies settle into the ground. After a moment, one looked at the other’s face, and they both realized the direction they needed to go to return to the trailhead and their car. PRACTICE Stand up in a relaxed manner and shake your arms feverishly toward the ground. Shake out any type of tension or resistance in the body. Now feel the body totally relaxed, heavy, and settled into the ground.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

PAT T E R N S

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A husband and wife were shopping for a washer and dryer. A salesman approached them, introduced himself, and interviewed them briefly to get an idea of their needs. The salesman presented two different models that were on sale.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The salesman said, “I have these two models on sale, but I recommend this set to best match your needs. This set is really convenient.” As soon as the salesman said the word convenient, the expressions on the couple’s faces turned angry and scowling.

PRACTICE

The salesman moved on to the second set, hoping for better luck. He described how the set worked and commented on how convenient it was. Again, the couple frowned.

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The salesman asked, “Why are you becoming angry when I use the word convenient?” The wife told him, “We just got back from our marriage counselor, and we are trying to have a relationship not just based on convenience, but on love.” The salesman said, “I think you will love either one of these sets.” PRACTICE My aikido teacher once told me that there is a pattern to all energy and all conflict. Study this. The practice is to see the patterns in your life in regards to fight, flight, and flow. Keep in mind that you can always create a new pattern based on flow.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

N AT U R A L E N E R G Y

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

I kept hearing at the dojo that you need to use natural energy, that your body should use natural energy.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

One day I asked my teacher what that meant because I wasn’t getting it. He responded, “You’re making the whole thing too difficult. Everything in nature is going to run its own course. The wind’s nature is to blow, old branches fall, new branches grow; it is a very simple thing.”

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

I nodded, but the expression on my face showed that I still didn’t get it. He looked at me and said, “Oceans don’t meditate, they just flow!” P R A C T I C E ( PA R T O N E ) Relax your body and swing your arms forward and backward, just like a pendulum. With rhythm and force, let your body feel the natural flow of things. P R A C T I C E ( PA R T T W O ) Realize your own nature, and also the nature of others in your life.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

ENERGY CONTROL

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A man was in his company’s cafeteria having lunch. He noticed that one of his wife’s friends was sitting at a table not too far away with another woman. He could hear them talking about an extramarital affair that their mutual friend was having with a sexy man. It was a very passionate affair; she had absolutely found true love!

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The man kept listening to the story, and for some reason he felt that the woman they were talking about was his wife! He found himself getting very, very, angry. His anger soon turned to rage. He was so upset he couldn’t eat. He started having a panic attack right there in his chair, and was unable to move. His heart was pounding so hard that he could see his shirt pocket moving in and out. All kinds of crazy thoughts were racing through his mind. He decided, “I’m just going to call her right now and confront her about it!” In a split second, he realized that he had to control himself. He began to calm himself by breathing deeply. He let his emotional energy settle. Instead of calling his wife, he confronted his wife’s friend. “I overheard your conversation! It’s my wife, isn’t it!?” She looked him right in the eye and said, “I should tell you that it was your wife! But it wasn’t, you dummy! It was a movie I saw yesterday! Don’t you know that your wife loves you very much? Let me inform you of something. She has complained to me that you’re too nosy and that you have an overactive imagination! You jump to conclusions abruptly, and you need to control yourself better.” PRACTICE Any time you feel jealousy, redirect that energy back toward yourself. The jealousy should go away quickly. Or, as my teacher would say, “Focus on yourself.”

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

HOW TO MOVE ENERGY

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Geraldo didn’t like his job very much but he couldn’t provide for his family without the income. It was a grinding job, and he realized he had become addicted to stressful work. He also recognized that he enjoyed certain things about his work: he found the interaction with other people interesting; he loved the rush that every challenge gave him and the opportunity to use his mind to find ways of improving things. Yet even the positive parts of his work weren’t making him happy. Over the years, I often heard Geraldo say that he wished he could retire soon.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

When retirement day came, Geraldo was very happy. For the first month of retirement he was delighted with his life. In the second month, he began to feel a little bit down. He got down on himself and on the other people in his life. Every day, reading the news and watching the news on the television, he was full of disapproval about what was happening in the world. He thought retirement would give him more time to do his hobbies, but he realized that, because of his neglect, his home needed many repairs. He wasn’t able to do his hobbies because his time and energy were consumed by repairing his home. Geraldo became ill. He wasn’t sure what was wrong, so he went to the doctor. After the doctor gave him a full examination, she told him that she often sees patients with this condition. When someone stops working, a lot of other things in his life also stop working. That day in the doctor’s office Geraldo decided that it was time to get serious about being more active. He decided to take up a more meaningful hobby or perhaps go back to work part-time. The doctor thought this was a good idea because when the energy stops moving, things become stagnant. The doctor’s aikido teacher had taught her years earlier that everything in the universe wants to flow. PRACTICE Like a traffic cop directing traffic, gesture to move energy. Whether it be positive energy, negative energy, or any other type energy, direct it to move around you. When stagnant energy constricts you, gesture to make the energy move.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

ENERGY PRACTICES / KIKO

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Walking in a shopping mall, two kids heard an announcement that there would be a martial arts demonstration starting right now, in front of JCPenney. They became excited and went to see the demonstration, arriving just as it had begun. A small man using a microphone described energy and conflict, and how you could be in harmony with conflict using circular energy. One boy was fascinated, the other skeptical.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The demonstration finished with a multiple-attacker scenario in which a small woman was moving, turning in her movements, both evading and throwing three attackers, who were much larger and stronger men. The fascinated boy was spellbound, and said, “Wow! Did you see that?!” And the skeptical boy replied, “My gosh, that’s all fake.” The fascinated boy said, “I don’t know if it’s fake, but there’s something going on besides just someone kicking the other person’s butt.” The skeptical boy said, “Yeah, but I came here to see someone get their butt kicked.” PRACTICE Create unlimited energy movements using intentions congruent with your movements.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

T O TA L E N E R G Y V A L U E

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

A famous aikido teacher was giving a seminar for aikido students. He talked about many philosophical concepts and related aikido to various things in nature, everyday life, and even the consciousness of the cosmos. He was looking for uncommon ways of expressing his art energetically to teach students how to have a different relationship with their practice.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

One student became annoyed and agitated. He raised his hand and asked in a cynical manner, “Can’t we just practice the basic techniques at a high level and use the experience for our growth?”

PRACTICE

The teacher responded, “I began my aikido practice exactly for not that reason. I was looking for the aikido that cannot be seen.”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The student asked, “So how will I know when I’m doing it right?” The teacher answered, “It will begin when you’re out of your thinking mind and experiencing the practice in your body. Then you will be able to feel it. Thinking alone won’t bring you the feeling. I am asking you to do something multidimensional: mind, body, energy, partner, universe.” PRACTICE While doing it, make sure that your mind is open, your body expressive, and your attitude positive.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

F I G H T F L I G H T F L O W E N E R G Y PAT T E R N S

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

It was summer and three carpenters were outside building a shed. Suddenly they heard a loud screeching of tires and the thump of a car smashing into the curb.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

Two of the men immediately looked over and saw what was happening. The first man knew that it was something dangerous and responded immediately by calling 911. The second man knew that that something wasn’t right and moved in the direction of the crash while trying to understand the unfolding situation. The third man was so involved in the project that he kept working.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

In fact, the incident was a carjacking. When the carjacker saw that he had drawn attention from the men and wouldn’t be able to escape in the car, he jumped out and ran away. After the incident, the police arrived and interviewed the three men about the incident. Each had a different interpretation of what had happened. After some discussion, they all agreed that in the moment, things can happen very quickly. PRACTICE In your activities develop the eyes of a master.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER

NOTES

ONE

THE GUY WRITING THIS

STORY An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

R O L E P L AY

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

P L AY

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT. To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

A student had been practicing for a year and was encouraged by the senior students to try more advanced freestyle practices. The student was trying to be humble and at the same time felt some fear and self-consciousness about how she would look doing a demo in front of the group. She wasn’t sure she would be able to meet the expectations of the teacher and the higher-ranked students.

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The teacher asked the student to please go ahead and demonstrate the basic first stage of freestyle.

PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The student responded that she would rather have a little more time. The teacher walked in front of the group and explained, “It is very important that everyone gets a chance to get out there and practice, because if you never go out and fail even a little bit, there is the potential that you won’t be able to learn. If you have to be perfect before you perform in front of the group you may never go out. And as your teacher I would be at fault. The students and I are here to encourage you, but ultimately you have to take the first step.” PRACTICE Think of some past conflict. Act out that situation and see if you are coming from a place of fight, flight, or flow.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

EPIC MOVIE

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Little Bob spent a lot of time watching reality-based television. He liked watching all the craziness out in the real world. He also enjoyed videogames in which he could role-play. Many of the games were very violent. He destroyed different types of aliens in many different worlds. He could wage war almost anywhere and kill artificial people instantly with realistic guns and futuristic weapons. He could even run over people with vehicles. It was a lot of fun for him!

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

One day his mother recommended that he take a self-defense class because there was so much violence in the school system. After some coaxing from his mother, he finally agreed. On the first day of class Little Bob met the teacher, who was very experienced. She focused first on getting the boy physically balanced and then on getting his mind focused in the right direction. It was difficult for Little Bob to stay physically balanced and mentally focused. The first exercise focused on using appropriate physical force. Little Bob got upset because he quickly lost his concentration. He either would be ineffectual in the amount of force he used or he would use too much force. The teacher decided to talk to the student’s mother. With a concerned look on his face, the teacher said, “Your son is in need of more focus and more balance in his life. He could really use a few more lessons.” His mom responded, “I don’t think so. He’s entering in a video game world series, and he needs to train for that, but thank you anyway.” PRACTICE Imagine yourself in a self-defense class. Look at the energy of fight: How good are you at fighting back with the right amount of force? Now look at the energy of flight: How good are you at running away? Can you use the appropriate amount of force to evade? Now look at the energy of flow: How good are you at neutralizing unwanted situations?

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

PUBLIC SPEAKING

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

My teacher told me that it is important to have practice public speaking because at some time in your life you will have to give a eulogy. And when giving a eulogy, you only get one chance, so you need to make it good.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

Ichi go ichi rei is a Japanese saying that translates to “Every time I meet someone it may be the last time that I ever see him (or her).” Having this understanding is vital in public speaking. Of course, most people feel like they are going to die when they get up in front of a group. That’s why it’s very important to practice.

PRACTICE

PRACTICE

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Practice taking the initiative and politely introducing yourself in a nonthreatening way to strangers and acquaintances.

NOTES

Keep introducing yourself until you feel comfortable doing so.

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

BE THE MASTER

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Two students had worked hard all morning at the original dojo. The first said to the second, “Wow. I can’t believe the amount of work we’re doing every day. Why do we have to cut down all these branches? They look perfectly fine to me.”

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The second student responded, “What I have learned since I have been here is that the master gives many different lessons in many different ways. Sometimes cutting down a branch is a lesson in the temporary condition of life. It’s not going to go on forever. Appreciate what’s going on now, and take down the old branches.”

PRACTICE

The first student responded, “I guess he’s teaching us that you must remove the dead branches so you can keep growing.”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The second student responded, “Yes, that is one way to interpret the meaning. I have noticed that the master sometimes doesn’t define what the lesson is about. That way everyone can learn the lesson that they need, according to where they are in their practice. Now, let’s get this done so we can practice on the mat too.” PRACTICE Pick any endeavor, and first copy the methods of the master. Master the technique...Then innovate and create, keeping the essence alive all the while.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

SHUGYO / KEIKO

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The student complained to the master about the number of rituals in the original dojo. There was a ritual for cleaning, for approaching the mat, for making breakfast, for cleaning up after breakfast, for speaking to upper-ranked students. For almost every type of activity, there was a ritual.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The student asked the master, “Why are rituals so important?” The master responded, “If we weren’t going to do something special, we wouldn’t need a ritual. By doing a ritual before all these activities, we make it special.”

PRACTICE

The student responded, “But master, if we are doing the same ritual every day, won’t it become just rote and therefore take away from the specialness of the practice?”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

The teacher responded, “Try it both ways at your dojo. Find out if ritual works or not—but not at this dojo because this dojo is a special place.” PRACTICE Fight to be serious in a ritual. Flee from mediocrity. Flow with integrity.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

SELF-PERFORMANCE MONITORING

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

The martial arts have long history of the hierarchy of teacher-apprentice relationships.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.”

One day a student asked the master what he thought about this teacher-apprentice hierarchy. The master responded, “I am surely not a master. My teacher was surely a master. My teacher was at a level that was almost unattainable.”

The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out.

The student asked the master, “Why did you keep training with him if you felt his level was unattainable?”

PRACTICE

The master responded, “It doesn’t matter what I thought. At some level I knew that just by keeping company with him, I surely would get better.”

Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

“What if the student becomes better than the teacher?” “Just remember that our practice is multidimensional. At some point, young students often feel they have surpassed their teacher. It’s common. The teacher should always be happy when she sees this evolution in her students. When the student evolves past the level of the teacher, the student can still receive learning because it is a multidimensional practice. We all have blind spots. We can all still receive mentoring and help. Your teacher can see things from a mature point of view.” The student responded, “Well, I guess I’ll keep training, then.” PRACTICE It’s good to have two sets of answers. Get one answer set from your mentor and another from you own experience after deep contemplation. It’s also a good practice to always have respect for all your teachers and mentors.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

LEVELS

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Joe set a goal to get a black belt, even though he wasn’t sure he could do it. After years of training and determination and a lot of help from other dojo members, Joe accomplished his goal. His family came to see his black belt test. They wanted to be present when Joe received the belt during the ceremony. Joe did an awesome job and passed his test.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

After the award ceremony, Joe’s uncle congratulated him. His uncle said, “That was a great accomplishment. What’s next for you? Are you going to take up rock climbing or some other type of extreme hobby?” Joe took a moment to think, and said, “Yes, I think I will start something like that.” His aikido teacher overheard the conversation and said, “Wait a minute. Like we always say in the dojo, your black belt is the beginning of your training.” Joe replied, “It took so much hard work to get to this point, and now I want to enjoy myself.” The teacher responded, “Yes, of course, it’s a great accomplishment. A black belt is the first level of mastery. It is the level of development of the form. There are more levels after learning the form, and those levels become even more enjoyable to practice.” Joe thought for a moment, and responded, “I guess you’re right because how could you become the teacher, right? You know, come to think of it, my next goal is becoming one of your best teachers at this dojo!” PRACTICE Whatever you are pursuing right now, make sure that you fight to go to the next level. Take rest when it’s appropriate. And sometimes, just practice and relax at the level where you are.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE GUY WRITING THIS

FA K E I T T I L L Y O U M A K E I T

STORY

STORY

An aikido student’s mentor told him to write his autobiography, from birth to the present. He advised him to get comfortable with the story of himself up until now, the PRESENT.

Matilda was one of the dojo’s best students. She did whatever was needed to keep getting better. She would read books, watch videos, practice by herself, and train in as many classes as she could. She moved up the ranks very quickly. She kept training and just enjoyed the time in her practice. Before she knew it, she was ready for a black belt test.

To write a self-introduction. He told him, “The more you practice, the more you’ll know about yourself.” The student wrote until he really did know himself. He worked on his autobiography until he knew himself inside and out. PRACTICE Get in front of a mirror and practice using the fight flight flow energies. At the fight state say, Why do I have to be that bum? That’s not who I am! At the flight state say, I don’t want to be you! Darn! At the flow state say, Yes! Hey, that’s me!

Just before Matilda started preparing for her test, her teacher said, “Training is not enough. You need to start teaching others.” Matilda was surprised. She thought her next goal should be to prepare for her black belt. Her teacher encouraged her and, in fact, made it a requirement that she gather experience teaching others before she prepared for her black belt. Matilda worried that she wouldn’t be able to do a good job coaching people. Her instructor said, “Just do your best, and we will coach you on how to help people.” She said, “But what about me, preparing for my black belt?” Her teacher responded, “That it is how I want you to prepare for your black belt, by helping others.” PRACTICE In some activity in your life, go out and mentor another person, as long as he or she is open to it.

NOTES

NOTES


CHAPTER ELEVEN

S I T U AT I O N S

STORY Mack was doing well learning the art part of his aikido class. He had learned all the fundamentals and all the freestyle techniques. He was doing well at his level. One day the teacher asked him to attend the self-defense class. Mack responded, “I really have no interest in self-defense. I prefer the art of aikido and being in the flow with everyday events in my life.” The teacher responded, “Yes, I understand that. You’re doing very well in your training. At the same time, I want you to feel comfortable entering into situations of conflict.” Mack responded, “What does that mean?” The teacher said, “I want you to be comfortable entering unknown situations. When you enter situations you’re not familiar with, the unknown will challenge you to rise above past experiences, even possible past failures that you’ve experienced. Our self-defense classes are set up so that you can gain confidence and rise above the fight-or-flight response.” Mack attended the class. When the class was over, he understood what his teacher was referring to and realized he could only have understood by experience. PRACTICE Practice things you are scared of. Do it in a safe way with trained professionals to avoid injury. Rise above all your fears. You can also practice doing over situations in which you failed. Role-play a past failure, and this time allow a positive outcome. NOTES

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CHAPTER ELEVEN

MICRO / MACRO

STORY A young martial artist was very concerned with winning. Even in the most trivial exercises, his focus was on dominating and winning over the other person. The other students had encouraged him to relax and focus on the meaning of the practice, but he was a not able to hear them. The teacher said to him, “Please tone the practice down a bit and focus on the higher level of philosophy related to what we’re doing.” The student still couldn’t hear. He continued to emphasize using lots of power and speed, which were not appropriate for the exercises. Finally, the teacher asked him to take a break from training. The student was very puzzled, and asked, “Why is it so important to take a break? I’m just trying to do my best.” The teacher said, “It is my job to protect the group, and some of your training is potentially dangerous to other students.” The student was very upset and offended. He stormed out of the dojo. After about six weeks the student came to realize how wonderful the group had been. He had support from everyone, and as a group they did some wonderful things together. He realized that he was being selfish and wrote an apology letter to the teacher and all the students. The teacher wrote a letter back welcoming him back to training, now that he was ready. PRACTICE Pick one of the groups you belong to. Ask, How can I help the group to evolve? NOTES

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NOTES

C H A P T E R T W E LV E THE UNLIMITED

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CHAPTER T W E LV E

L I M I TAT I O N S

STORY A student asked her teacher, “It seems like we’re doing a lot of energetic exercises that don’t really relate to the most efficient way to defend yourself. My friend is practicing some other type of martial art. He feels like he is able to defend himself and to fight others confidently. I just want to make sure I’m not wasting my time.” The teacher responded, “Fight has limitations, flight has limitations, flow is unlimited.” The student said, “Yes, that makes sense, but what if I get killed before I learn how to fight?” The teacher responded, “Well, you better get good at flight, then.” PRACTICE Say the word unlimited! What is the first principle that comes to mind? Demonstrate that.

NOTES

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CHAPTER T W E LV E

C R E AT I V E

STORY A student approached his teacher and was very upset. He complained that they had been doing the same exercise for more than a month. The teacher looked at him and said, “Yes, and?” The student said that he was starting to get bored and that he didn’t see why he had to keep doing the basics over and over. The teacher responded, “You must keep doing the basics so that you can be creative.” The student responded, “That makes no sense at all. If I keep doing the basics over and over, I’m never going to be good at being creative. I will just be really good at the basics.” “Yes, I understand,” said the teacher. “Most people think they can approach the creative without knowledge, without the basics. What we are doing is the art. When you go into the creative, the basics are a reference; they provide the structure from which the creative emerges. As deeply as you go into the basics, that is as deep as your creative process will be.” The student immediately answered, “Well, I feel I went pretty deep into my basics! Is it okay if I work on the creative today?” The teacher looked at him and said, “Stop asking the same old questions and be creative!” PRACTICE Today when you return home, take a different route and be creative. Demonstrate that. NOTES

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CHAPTER T W E LV E

E V O L U T I O N & P L AY

STORY The teacher walked into the dojo and immediately started screaming at the two students there, “What are you doing?! I told you not to do that in that manner.” Both students were trying to do the freestyle practice that the instructor had coached them on earlier. They felt they were doing things exactly the way the teacher had wanted the exercise to be done. The students asked, “Isn’t this what you wanted? Didn’t you want us to practice our freestyle in this manner?” “No, no, no,” said the teacher. “You were instructed to do freestyle. What I see you doing is the same thing you always do. You are doing your freestyle the same way you have always done it.” One student responded, “Yes, but from your instructions I felt that you wanted me to use less power and to be more circular in my approach.” The teacher looked at both students, paused a moment, and said, “All evolution and play is created from the unknown. I have been trying to give you some basic cues of the direction to explore. Ultimately you need to engage the unknown, and then the creative process will really begin.” The second student asked, “If it’s the unknown, how do we know if it’s right?” The teacher responded, “You will know the unknown when you don’t have to ask me if it is right.” PRACTICE Go for a walk with a friend and contemplate: What is the unknown? Demonstrate that. NOTES

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NOTES

CHAPTER THIRTEEN BALANCE

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

BALANCE IN LIFE

STORY Frank was born into a poor family. When he was a child, he thought that it was enough just to have food and clothing and a place to live. As he grew older, he saw other people getting educated, working hard, and being able to buy many things. He saw people with the ability to do whatever they wanted. As he looked at these people he thought to himself, “I can work hard and do that.” He started a small business, which soon grew to be a large business. He became affluent and built the kind of wealth that his parents never could have achieved. Frank’s mentality was that of an enraged pit bull: Get out of my way, or I’ll rip your heart out. He never broke the law but he did whatever he had to do to continue his level of success and then to surpass it. One day he realized he was very unhappy, even though he had accumulated so much wealth and notoriety. He was really frustrated with his life, his career, the whole shebang. He did have one friend, who told Frank that it would probably be a good idea to get a mentor. He suggested that Frank meet a certain businessman. “I think he would be a perfect mentor for you. He is a successful businessperson, has a successful family, and a vibrant lifestyle.” When Frank met the businessman, he told him how he had built his life and how empty it was and how empty he felt. The businessman agreed to mentor Frank. Frank spent many hours in discussion with his mentor, and over the next several months the businessman coached Frank through many processes. One day the businessman stopped the session. He looked Frank in the eye and said, “You know, it is all about love. First, you have to learn how to accept and love yourself. Next, you need to learn how to love other people. Then you need to learn how to love your career and surround yourself with all the things you love. Start to contribute in a loving way to society. And then you, your life, and your work will all be about love. You’ll love to get up in the morning. You’ll love to go to bed at night. Now get out of here, you big palooka. I love ya.” PRACTICE Fight for the best work for you. Escape from negativity in work. Be in flow, let your career develop from balance, and love it. NOTES

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

T H E M I D D L E PAT H

STORY The aikido teacher asked the prospective student, “Why are you here?” The student answered, “I have been running the rat race for the past ten years at a pace I can’t keep up with anymore. I’m in the advertising field, and the competition has overwhelmed me. In the beginning of my career I wanted to be the best, and I would do whatever it took to be the best. Now I feel it’s time for me try something new.” The aikido teacher asked, “How long did it take you to develop your career?” The man replied, “It took me about six years of formal education, twelve years of working at least six days a week, sixty to seventy hours a week.” The teacher took a moment to consider this. Then he said, “Just like in aikido, you learned things step-by-step. From my experience in the art of aikido, what I would recommend is that you start, step-by-step, to slow down a little. Realize that you are not in a sprint anymore. See it as a marathon and adapt to the new pace. Change the pace that keeps you in a frantic state. Change to a pace that keeps you in a flow state. Slow the pace to where you can start to appreciate your career. Completely stopping something and quitting isn’t always the best option.” PRACTICE Practice your pace. Pick an activity from work, school, or home and pace around very frantically so you know how it feels. Now pace yourself at a random rate, moving around in a spaced-out manner. Now develop a pace that makes sense for whatever you are trying to accomplish. NOTES

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Y I N / YA N G

STORY Tina had a very active mind. She spoke very quickly. She moved very quickly. She made random decisions very quickly. Her best friend was a kind and considerate person and a very good listener. Tina would often talk about many of her problems and all that she was doing this week. She had so many hobbies that her friend would often get confused about what she was doing when. One afternoon, the two women were having lunch. Tina said that she really wasn’t able to find any happiness in her life. She had tried so many things, and still she wasn’t happy. She asked her friend, “What do you think would be the best hobby to keep me occupied so I can keep having fun?” Her friend looked at her and said, “It seems like you’re never going to find what you are looking for because you never go deeply into anything you’re doing. The only thing that is consistent with you is that when we meet we have the same conversation every time. You tell me about all your problems, and then you tell me about a new thing or hobby you’re involved in. If I were to really speak from my heart, I would say that you should settle down a little and pick one hobby or maybe two and realize why you’re doing it. Think about what it gives you. How it develops you. How you can contribute to it. How does that sound?” Tina responded, “Well, geez! I just thought you’d like to meet up and hear what’s going on with me.” PRACTICE Practice an activity and then a “nonactivity.” For example, garden and then meditate. Go for a walk, and then write in your journal. Go roller-skating, and then contemplate. NOTES

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

N E G AT I V I T Y

STORY Beatrice tried to flow through life. You could always catch her at the local bookstore reading something in the personal-growth section. Self-help was her favorite topic, and she had many different techniques for being positive. She felt that if she was negative, there was something wrong with her. Whenever she felt negative, she would go out and look for another book related to positive living. One day Beatrice was faced with a difficult situation and she totally crashed. Things were so bad that she couldn’t get up from her sofa for two days. She started to think about what had gone wrong; after all, she had been so diligent about studying positivity! She finally realized that with all her focus on positivity, she had ignored any type of negativity. The negative forces had built up over the years, and she crashed when she became overloaded by them. Luckily, she learned about this book, read it, and lived happily ever after. P R A C T I C E ( PA R T O N E ) Discover what is negative for you: stuff you don’t like, stuff you complain about, stuff you whine about, aggressive behavior, and violence. Write it all down so it becomes very clear for you. Then stop it—please. P R A C T I C E ( PA R T T W O ) Fight: Go right through the middle of it. Flight: Escape from negativity. Flow: Negativity away.

NOTES

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

T H E L A W O F AT T R A C T I O N

STORY Johnny was always reading violent magazines. He liked to play very violent video games, the gorier the better, and to role-play killing people. He liked to watch television programs depicting fighting scenes. He liked it when the hero killed people. When he was out and about, Johnny noticed that a lot of violent things kept happening to him. It seemed as if people just wanted to start trouble with him. He couldn’t figure out why this was so. Johnny dreamed of being a postal worker and being outside in nature every day, delivering mail. He thought the best person to ask about this type of career would be his postman. His postman generally got to his house around 10:00 a.m. He decided to wait for him. When the postman came walking up to the house and realized that Johnny was waiting for him, he became very frightened. Johnny quickly noticed this and asked, “What’s the matter?” In a stuttering voice the postman replied, “I really don’t want any trouble. I just want to deliver the mail and go on my way.” Johnny responded, “I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions about your career.” The postman responded, “You’ll never take this job from me! I know all about you, and you’re just not up to any good!” Johnny was shocked and appalled. Why would the postman say that? Then he got it. He realized that about a month earlier he had gotten a book in the mail with the title How to Screw People Over and Take Their Careers. The postman must have seen the book when he delivered it! PRACTICE Practice an appropriate smile to all you meet as you walk. And be sincere. NOTES

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Y O U R W AY O F B E I N G I N T H E W O R L D

STORY The entrepreneur had a wonderful mentor. The mentor had helped him arrive at a place he never could have gotten to by himself. He became accustomed to telling the mentor all his problems because the mentor was always very good at finding solutions. The entrepreneur had taken on a big project. One day he became very frustrated and complained to his mentor during the whole session. The mentor looked him in the eye as if he were looking right into the man’s soul. The entrepreneur, shaken by this look, said, “My gosh, why are you looking at me that way?” The mentor paused, and said, “Your behavior is demonstrating so loudly I can’t hear a freaking word you are saying.” The entrepreneur immediately understood. PRACTICE Practice shaking people’s hands. A forceful handshake demonstrates aggression. A weak handshake demonstrates flight energy. A balanced handshake demonstrates understanding and friendship.

NOTES

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CONCLUSION

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thanks for checking out this practice book!

The expression of fight, flight, and flow was shown in the making of this book and in the contribution of all the people who helped make it possible.

There are eighty-seven practices in this book. Saito sensei always said that if you can demonstrate a hundred ways to do something, then you are on the way to mastering it. He himself was famous for his hundred ways of using a hachi maki (traditional Japanese headband) one hundred different ways. For every chapter, create at least one practice by yourself, and you’ll soon have a hundred ways of demonstrating the fight flight flow energies in a positive way. Have fun! And check out fight flight flow.com for interesting things going on. Thank you.

First of all, and most of all, thank you very much to Lisa Sheretz. Lisa fought to see this project come to fruition, she never ran away, and she flowed with my energy! Lisa went through my practice notes several times, scribing my scribblings, making it all culturally understandable and politically correct. Lisa believed in the project all the way, she had a tremendous amount of patience, and her editing skills were unbelievable. Thank you, Lisa! I would also like to thank Chris Holloman | Photographer. Chris really went the extra mile to make sure that he had enough energetic understanding so that he could bring my vision to life through his photographs. Thank you very much, Chris. You made the flow visible! Next I would like to thank Randy Onitsuka. Randy organized and managed the three-day process that it took to take all the photographs inside this book. He used the principles of aikido and the principles of fight, flight, and flow to make sure that everything went masterfully right. Thank you! For much of the background organization of the photo shoots, Katherine Gallagher was instrumental in making sure that all the systems stayed intact. We were able to go forward without any glitches because of all her work. Thank you! In charge of the photographs sequencing and set-up management was Chris Kimes, who did an awesome job in helping me stay focused and in flow. Great job. Lonnie Klaich, Laura Klaich, and Kathy Warman were in charge of managing the student model groups and did an awesome job orchestrating the groups so that everything was very timely and flowing! Awesome. Kobe Harkins managed the sign-ins and traffic flow. Thank you. Greg McMurray managed the props. Thank you for letting them flow in...and out. Fumi Kikuchi was the cultural consultant for the Japanese calligraphy and flower arrangements. She was also a secret helper behind the scenes, as always. Thank you! To my family, who supported me in my quest for flow. To all my aikido teachers, training partners, colleagues, and friends, thank you! It was nice flowing with you!


PHOTO ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

A big thanks to all the Aikido of Reno students who modeled for the photos. This is a flowing list of everyone who participated, in alphabetical order (by first name): Aleksey Telyakovskiy Alex Clarke Alex Salvatore Aman Patel Ami Patel Andrew Singh Andy Solberg Arlene Mendibles Aspen Nay Austin Martin Ben Smyth Betsy Kreidburg Bradley Summerhill Bryce Campo Caleb Woolman Calind Board Caroline Gallagher Catana Barnes Chace Palmer Chad Sawyer Chad Shearer Chance Pecorino Charles Johnson Chris Kimes Chris Nelson Christie Gellman Colin Morrison Colleen Jackson Conner Palmer Cooper Sandoval Cory Davis Dan Morrow

Daniel Bigelow David Board Den Go Diana Malarchik Donovan Holveck Ed Lemons Edith Wilson Eric Ingram Eva Demosthenes Evan Bronson Frank Tittiger Fumie Salvatore Gabriel LaVanway Glen Parvin Grayson King Greg McMurray Guy Gibney Hal Taylor Hiroaki Nakamoto Isaiah Sabol Jackson Mauldin Jacob Childs Jacob Gellman Jade Kulwin Jane Johnson Jason Hegne Jeff Black Jerin Bateman Jon Thomason Jordan Smith Joseph Mulvihill Joseph Sangiacomo

Kathrin Gallagher Kathy Warman Katie Fisher Ketric Kulwin Kinsley Sandoval Kobe Harkins Laura Klaich Leo Ketcham Liberte Sweetland Lisa Sheretz Lonnie Klaich Lucas Blaine Lucca Sweetland Lynn Warman Margaux Mauldin Mark Hahn Michael Ashley Michael Christian Michael Malcolm Michael Wiseman Michelle Buck Mike Davis Mike Hamilton Mike Steiner Mitsuru Sentoku Naomi Board Nathan Bergrin Nicco Dalviso Oren Board Paul Mendive Presley Patterson Rachael Gallagher

Randy Onitsuka Regan Gallagher Reginald Reid Reika Fujimoto Rex Thorson Rhiannon Hedgcoth Robert Gomberg Robert Kucera Robert Widick Robyn Wasser Ron Bonomo Ron Titus Samantha Nasewicz Satoko Kurita Sawako Sentoku Scott Shaver Sean Vikoren Sevina Versales Shelley Fisher Sohei Okamoto Stan Shaft Suzy Ramos Sydney Shoemaker Tim Waldren Timothy Herrick Todd Iverson Travis Barnes Vanessa Estrada Will Fisher Will Sneed Yuto Telyakovskiy.

Book Sample 002 - Photography & Design  
Book Sample 002 - Photography & Design  
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