SPRING 2014
VOL. 21, ISSUE 3
V0X Vox TeenC o m m u nicat i o n s . o r g
BULLIES DON’T HOLD BACK
ATLANTA’S ONLY CITYWIDE NEWSPAPER CREATED BY AND ABOUT TEENAGERS - CELEBRATING 20 YEARS
Got Senioritis? page 4 | Think Before You Ink, page 7 | Blurred Lines, page 18
hey readers, As your spring fun and adventures begin to blossom this year, we at VOX hope to shed light on a very serious topic — bullying. I know what you’re thinking, Yeah, I’ve heard this before or maybe even Another series of bullying stories? If you find yourself feeling drained by some of those sad bullying stories, perk up, because although we’ve got some intense stories in this edition, Naya shares an account about how she confronted one of her close loved ones after being put down because of her decision to “go natural.” Her story even touches on the mutual respect that can develop between a woman and her grandchild when properly confronting strong emotional feelings.
V0X ISSUE COORDINATOR Karestiah Lawson, Chattahoochee Austin Thomas, Woodward Academy WINTER ISSUE CONTRIBUTORS Caro Addams, Howard Kofi Adams, North Atlanta Vanessa Alva, Cross Keys Ilana Ander, Paideia India Anderson, Lakeside Deja Brown, Harper-Archer Sania Chandrani, Parkview Daysha Corzine, Decatur Sharmaine Fisher, Lovejoy Chad Gordon, Grady Dallas Gordon, KIPP Alexes Harris, South Atlanta Alyssa Harris, Homeschool Hallie Hartley, North Atlanta Crystal Hodge, Cedar Grove Naya James, DeKalb School of the Arts Danielle Kreger, Woodward Arlena McClenton, DeKalb School of the Arts Safiya Miller, North Atlanta Rashah Neason, Woodland Zani Nobles, Riverwood Amy Pan, Parkview Danielle Patrick, Southwest DeKalb Lauren Polk, Arabia Mountain Manuel Portillo, North Atlanta Nancy Ramirez, Cross Keys Mac Rowe, Academe of the Oaks
VoxTeenCommunications.org
VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
At face value, bullying doesn’t present itself as the pain and negativity that it creates. Bullying is a very serious issue among teens today and is not a joke. Putting an end to bullying can be as simple as considering the feelings and thoughts of others when interacting with our peers. Even though you may “just be playing around” and say Jalil Shareef, Collins Hill Christian Stallworth, North Springs Tyler Sutton, Arabia Mountain Sachin Swami, Woodward Dawit Trench, Wheeler Mikael Trench, Wheeler Alexandria Wilson, North Atlanta
THE REST OF THE VOX TEEN STAFF Anna Hall, Agustin Jimenez, Akil Harris, Alex Tonico, Assata Muhammad, Brianna Curtis, Camaron Gresham, Christina Lucas, Clarke Martin, Cole Sullivan, Courtney Farmer, Curtis Jones, Divanna Eckels, Edith Courtney, Eric Murphy, Erica Peek, Isis McDowell, Jade Eckels, Jalyn Buster, Jamaya Powell, Jelani Harris, Jenny Changnon, Jolisa Brown, Kaleb Anderson, Keana Martin-Sanders, Kelsey Johnson, Kennedy Thedford, Kenny Hurd, Lucy Rodriguez, Lydia Mathis, Madison Smith, Mahmood Thompson, Miles Turner, Morgan Copeland, Morgan Johnson, Niambi Walker, Nicole Zhu, Nile Hines, Noni Warren, Raanaa Wooden, Rachel Li, Randi Mobley, Renatta McNary, Sara Islas, Sara Wren, Shalom Lane, Shalom Maurer, Sia’ Richards, Simone Lewis, Tajah Thomas, Tia Gresham, Tru Spann, Vashti Aveirls, Vaughn Cyrus, Zaria Young, Ziggy Oby
VOLUNTEERS/MENTORS Shameeka Ayers, The Broke Socialite; Heather Balom, Community Volunteer; Justin O. Cooper, JOC Media; Chad Darnell, Filmmaker; Andreas Guilford, Community Volunteer; Lindsey Knox, Turner Broadcasting System; Alyssa Lasseter, Habitat for Humanity; Sonia Murray, CBS Radio; Susan Percy, Georgia Trend; Regina Portee, VOX Parent; Nick Strangis, ECI Management; Talia Witherspoon, Freelance Writer
VOX BOARD OF DIRECTORS Jessica Casey, Jones Day Todd Cregar, Historic Oakland Foundation Brianna Curtis, Booker T. Washington High School Whitney Deal, Kilpatrick Townsend Elizabeth Faist, Sutherland Asbill & Brennan LLP Andrew B. Flake, Arnall Golden Gregory Sharina Harris, Hilton Worldwide Mary Hinkel, Community Volunteer Alcide Honore, Hooper & Honore, LLC Catherine Jefferson, InterContinental Hotels Group
“we do that all the time,” very seldom is anyone ever going to come out and say straight to your face that your words are damaging them. Sharmaine shares some tips on how to avoid crossing the fine line between jokes and bullying on page 18. Check out the important stories about self-harm, why kids bully and how cliques are making bullying harder to stop, in the section starting on page 8. While our major stories kicked butt, be sure to check out what events teens should check out on the next page, from an upcoming Sherlock convention to music and film festivals all over town! Happy reading!
Table of Contents
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— Karestiah Lawson and Austin Thomas / VOX Staff COVER PHOTO & DESIGN BY MANUEL PORTILLO AND ALEXANDRIA WILSON | VOX STAFF
LaTonya Keaton, VOX Parent, PNC Financial Group Jimmy Kim, VOX Alumnus, Weissman Nowack Curry & Wilco Lindsey Knox, Turner Broadcasting System Karestiah Lawson, Chattahoochee High School Clarke Martin, Riverdale High School Ellen Mendelsohn, CohnReznick Nadia Rahali, Loudermilk Center Marc Rice, Southern Company Mac Rowe, Academe of the Oaks Cole Sullivan, The Paideia School Alexandria Wilson, North Atlanta High School
VOX ADVISORY BOARD Kristina Christy, Turner Broadcasting Matt Crenshaw, Mother Nature Network Jocelyn Dorsey, WSB-TV Amy Glennon, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution Cathy Hampton, City of Atlanta Hank Klibanoff, Emory University Stanley Romanstein, Atlanta Symphony Orchestra
FB.com/voxrox, @VOXROXATL on Twitter + Instagram, and YT.com/229voxrox
issue’s zation: ons.org
ABOUT THIS ISSUE
VOX ADULT STAFF Jeff Romig, Executive Director Rachel Alterman Wallack, MSW, Director of Strategic Initiatives/Founder Katie V. Strangis, LMSW, Director of Media and Programs Richard L. Eldredge, Associate Editor Josie Footmon, Program Intern
All rights reserved. © VOX Teen Communications, Inc., 2014. This paper is printed on recycled paper using soy ink. Please recycle!
Why Kids Bully, page 8 Becoming the Bully, page 9 The Silent Bully, page 10 Cliques Don’t Click, page 12 Girl Code, page 13 Autobullying, page 14 Cyberbully, page 15 Some Scars are More than Skin Deep, page 16 Blurred Lines, page 18 Black Belt in Blocking Bullies, page 19 Good Hair, page 20 Different Isn’t Bad, page 21 Bullying Bytes, page 22 The Other Side, page 23 Asking About Ask.fm, page 23 Bullying Poetry Special, page 24 Letter To/From a Bully Contest Winners, page 26
GRADUATION COUNTDOWN STORIES Got Senioritis? page 4
CULTURE + PERSONAL STORIES Fight On, Gladiators, page 5 The Need for Speed, page 6 Think Before You Ink, page 7
EXTRAS
VOX is an independent newspaper and website produced by and about Atlanta-area teenagers. VOX is distributed by VOX Teen Communications, Inc., a nonprofit youthdevelopment organization. The views and opinions expressed in this paper are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect VOX Teen Communications, its Board of Directors, Staff or Supporters. VOX Teen Communications 229 Peachtree St. NE, Suite 725 Atlanta, GA 30303 404-614-0040 | editor@voxteencommunications.org voxteencommunications.org
BULLYING COVER STORIES
Connect with VOX!
Hot on the Streets, page 3 Reviews, page 6 Advice, page 25 I Heart ATL Contest Info, page 25 The Wall, page 28 VOX Media Cafe Summer 2014 Info, page 30 Horoscopes, page 31 Art Exhibition Call for Entries, page 32
VoxTeenCommunications.org
WORD OF MOUTH VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
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Hot On the Streets It’s the most beautiful time of year in Atlanta! Get out and enjoy it at these fun events in March and April!
Patrick’s Day. Come and join the fun! When: March 15 Cost: Free Where: Midtown Atlanta
SEC Men’s Basketball Tournament Basketball fans! It’s that time of the year again. The highly anticipated SEC Men’s Basketball Tournament returns to Atlanta. College basketball teams in the South Eastern Conference will be competing for a chance to make it to the NCAA Basketball championship. Sit back, relax, and let the games begin. When: March 12 - 16 Cost: $300 Where: Georgia Dome Harlem Globetrotters The Harlem Globetrotters are a basketball team of men and women that mix basketball with fun circus acts. They will be bringing their talents to Atlanta. If you want to get a good laugh and see some awesome basketball tricks, then make your way to Philips Arena to see the Harlem Globetrotters perform. When: March 15 Cost: $37 - $180 Where: Philips Arena St. Patrick’s Day Parade One of the oldest St. Patrick’s Day parades in the country will be occurring in Midtown. The parade occurs every year to celebrate Atlanta’s Irish community. There will be floats, clowns, dancers, musicians and more showing of their green for St.
Six Flags Opening Weekend It’s that time of year again, people. Six Flags is back. The best amusement park in Georgia is reopening for fun, fun and more fun. Be one of the first to ride your favorite roller coaster, and head to Six Flags on its opening weekend. When: March 15 - 17 Cost: General Admission - $59.99, Children Under 54”- $39.99, Children 2 & Under - Free Where: Six Flags Over Georgia Miley Cyrus Bangerz Tour Attention Smilers! Miley Cyrus is coming to Atlanta and will be shutting the city down. Put on your dancing shoes, and catch Miley Cyrus’ show when she stops in Atlanta on March 25 at Phillips Arena. She’s performing songs from her most recent album “Bangerz,” and will surely give you a show you will never forget. When: March 25 Cost: $30 - $400 Where: Philips Arena Atlanta Jewish Music Festival If you’re Jewish, or into Jewish culture, this is the place to be. The fifth annual Atlanta Jewish Festival will be celebrating Jewish culture through live music. There will even be an open mic event! Make sure you come out. This is a night you won’t want to miss. When: March 20 - 29; main event on March 29 Cost: $25 advance; $30 day of show Where: Variety Playhouse
Atlanta Film Festival The Atlanta Film Festival is an Academy Award qualifying film festival held every year. There will be independent films of various genres shown at the festival and performances from local artists. If you are a film lover, then this is the place to be. When: March 28 - April 6 Cost: $50-$325 (passes); $10 (per screening) Where: The Plaza Theatre and 7 Stages Theatre (primary venues) Sherlock Holmes Festival This will be heaven for all Sherlock Holmes fans. There will be several speakers and performers for this event, called 221B Con. Any and everything Sherlock Holmes will be there, so don’t miss it. When: April 4 - 6 Cost: $45 Where: Atlanta Marriott Perimeter Center Atlanta Dogwood Festival The 78th annual Atlanta Dogwood festival is coming soon. This is one of the largest arts festivals in the country. More than 200 artists will be showcasing their pieces. Several of the country’s top artists will be there to sell their art. There will also be live entertainment and good food during the festival. When: April. 11 - 13 Cost: Free Where: Piedmont Park Italian Film Festival Broaden your horizons, and attend the Italian Film Festival. Eight recent Italian films of all genres will be showcased at this festival. For those who have never seen an Italian movie, this is your chance. Try something new! When: April. 24 - 27
Cost: $10 per screening Where: Plaza Theatre Alive! Expo This event is held to promote living a healthy lifestyle. There will be lectures, activities and workshops catered to health and wellness. If you’re someone who wants to be more healthy, but are not sure how to do so, then this is an important event to attend. When: April 26 - 27 Cost: Free Where: Georgia World Congress Center Inman Park Festival One of Atlanta’s best street festivals is returning this year. The festival will have several events, so there is something for everyone to do. These events include musical performances, a dance festival, a tour of homes, a kid zone, the rocket run and a parade. Make your weekend an eventful one, and go check this out. When: April 25 - 27 Cost: Free Where: Inman Park
— By Zani Nobles / VOX Staff Coming May 10: The Voices and Vibes Festival at the Woodruff Arts Center -FREE for teens. Be sure to stop by the VOX Exhibition at V&V and learn now how YOU can have your art showcased on the back page of this newspaper!
GRADUATION COUNTDOWN PAGE 4
VoxTeenCommunications.org
VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Got Senioritis?
By Crystal Hodge VOX Staff
Y
ou have finally made it to your senior year, and the only excitement you have right now is for graduation. You are extremely tired of school and dealing with the annoying underclassmen, unreasonable teachers and ridiculously hard assignments. You see no reason to put forth any effort anymore — just enough to graduate. That is what we call senioritis. Senioritis is an ebbing of motivation and effort by high school seniors as evidenced by tardiness, absences and lower grades, according to Merriam-Webster. This illness has to be cured. Here is some advice to help you overcome senioritis.
military's version of the SAT consisting of subjects: General Science, Arithmetic Reasoning, Word Knowledge, Paragraph Comprehension, Auto and Shop Information, Mathematics Knowledge, Mechanical Comprehension, Electronics Information and Assembling Objects. Although it is the military, it is open to anyone. Don’t wait until the last minute.
Get organized CALENDARS SAVE SOULS! Write down everything. From your orthodontist appointments to senior dues payments — even VOX teen staff meetings! Download a calendar app from Google Play or iTunes. Keeping a planner is also extremely helpful. By having a calendar, you know what days you are “free” and how to work around your busy schedule.
Plan out what you are going to do after graduation What exactly do you want to do after high school? Do you plan on going into the military, to college or into the workforce? You need to know what you are doing so you can plan accordingly. Create a road map of your life, starting from graduation until maybe retirement! Have a layout and stick to it! Look at all of your options, and do a lot of research! Your road map should be your motivation throughout this year to finish out strong.
Keep your options open Always have a Plan B. If you entered college and you are not feeling it after awhile, then what next? Try the military, the workforce or volunteering. By having something to fall back on, you’ll be setting yourself up for success.
Stop procrastinating! Do NOT wait until the last minute to do your British Literature essay, which is due in two days! Do not wait until the night before to study for a midterm! Plan ahead! “I’ll do it later” should no longer be a constant phrase for you! This will help you better prepare for the rigorous college schedule.
Take the important tests early By now you should have taken the SAT/ ACT and/or the ASVAB. By taking these tests early, your test results will come early, and if you feel you did not score high enough, you can retake it in time for college applications. It is best to take all three. The SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test) challenges your logic and how well you can answer a question; the ACT (American College Testing) is a test on subject areas taught in most educational systems; and the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) is like the
Breathe! Remember, it is senior year. Although it is the most stressful year, find time to relax. In between applying for colleges and working on your senior project, take a break. Watch a movie or create a recipe. Do something you enjoy during your spare time. Just remember that you still have to finish what you started working on before the break. We understand that senioritis is extremely contagious, but it is also not a good attitude to maintain throughout your senior year. We encourage you to strive for excellence, so you can toss the tassel with pride during graduation. Crystal is a senior at Cedar Grove High School who is just a few steps from overcoming senioritis. She created the illustration at left.
VoxTeenCommunications.org
CULTURE VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Fight On, Gladiators
By Lauren Polk VOX Staff
A
BC’s “Scandal” is an actionpacked political drama that is centered on a professional fixer in Washington, D.C., named Olivia Pope. Pope owns her own “fixing firm” named Pope and Associates, where she works with a team of selfdescribed gladiators. A fixing firm is where someone of power goes to for help with a crisis they are in. For example, a buisness tycoon who murdered someone would come to a fixing firm to get the crime covered up. The fixers will not stop until they get the job done. Pope is played by award-winning actress Kerry
Washington. A few of her awards for other projects have included BET’s best actress and an Image award for outstanding supporting actress in a motion picture. The show’s creator is Shonda Rimes, who is also the mind behind “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Private Practice.” Olivia Pope is loosely based on former White House administrative aide, Judy Smith. “Scandal” features a steamy affair between Olivia Pope and the current U.S. president, Fitzgerald Grant, with many passionate sex scenes. The show also has a high content of gruesome violence with no part of the action left to the imagination. “Scandal” is a well put together show about love and lust,
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Not only does the hit television series “Scandal” appeal to its adult audience, but also to teens and young adults
corruption and hate, as well as violence and thrills. While some parents may believe that “Scandal” is a show that is negatively influencing teens, the lessons learned through Pope’s actions could actually be helpful to teens, especially in relationships where teens see that being involved in affairs can be messy and dangerous. Also, it shows how teens can’t just get out of crimes with a fixing firm, like the show’s characters. My brother, 18-year-old Nicholas Polk, a University of Florida freshman and former Atlantan, says, "It's just a young, fun, exciting show that is packed with drama." Teens enjoy these kinds of dramas because they stimulate the mind and provide a creative riddle, unlike the thought process of school work. While Olivia Pope regularly handles crises, she is not great at handling her own personal life. Teens feel a connection with her. They may think, I please everybody and put my issues on the back burner. Some teens feel like they also are problem solvers, and if they can just go on helping others, hopefully the pieces of their own lives will fall into place.
Some teens get goosebumps simply
because the show takes them on a roller coaster ride. Says Nadia Johnson, 15, an Arabia Mountain High School student: "I love the show, because it's mysterious, and it keeps you on the edge of your seat because everything that happens is unexpected." Teens love the suspense that “Scandal” makes us feel, from Olivia's crisis management services, the actions of first lady Mellie, Fitz's wife, to the hot affair between Fitz and Olivia. The president’s hot-headed chief of staff, Cyrus Bean, has us on the edge of our seats doing what he needs to, to make sure that President Grant is always on top. While teens love the drama, we still know the difference between what's right and wrong, and we wouldn't want to duplicate the touchy subjects presented on the show. For example, the show provides teens with lots of information about extra-marital affairs, and we see how it affects every single party involved negatively. From love to lust, heartache to headache, “Scandal” is a show that people of all ages, teens included, are tuning into. Fight on, Gladiators. Lauren, 16, is a junior at Arabia Mountain High School who is going to New York City for the first time over spring break. “Scandal” art courtesy of TV Guide.
REVIEWS PAGE 6
VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
“Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Picoult By Sharmaine Fisher
This literary tactic not only gave me entertaining and meaningful breaks from the main drama, but also provided efore “Nineteen Minutes” was some insight into who the real victims of released in 2006, America had violence are at Sterling High School. The already been plagued with author also gets you thinking as you read, school-related violence, from by inserting thought-provoking quotes for the Bath School disaster Parts I and II, and providing (a 1927 attack in Michigan anonymous anecdotes that took 45 lives), to the before each chapter. 1999 Columbine High For the most part, I shooting, to the 8-casualty enjoyed the cast of this Red Lake massacre of 2005. poignant tale, including In “Nineteen Minutes,” dedicated detective Patrick by best-selling author Ducharme, and openJodi Picoult, the fictional minded defense lawyer shooting at Sterling High Jordan McAfee, who have School, which resulted in both made appearances in 10 dead and many more Picoult’s previous works. injured, brings to light not However, one of the most only the tragedy of school frustrating characters for ART COURTESY OF shootings, but also the inner me was Josephine “Josie” JODIPICOULT.COM turmoil of those involved in it — Cormier, who is the book’s students, parents, teachers and protagonist. She’s one of even the murderer himself. the most popular juniors at Sterling High, Picoult’s storytelling is absolutely and why not? She’s pretty. She gets As. She captivating. The narrative switches even has Matt as “the perfect boyfriend” between the present time — which (who, as the book soon reveals, is not). focuses on what happens right before, But it’s not even into the first 10 pages of during, and in the aftermath of the the novel before you learn she has her shooting — and the past, which gives us fair share of demons. Picoult succeeds in the back stories of our lead characters. using Josie to show how insecure real-life
VOX Staff
B
The Need for Speed By Kofi Prescott Adams VOX Staff In February, “Need for Speed” director Scott Waugh and actor Scott Mescudi (aka, rapper Kid Cudi) visited the VOX newsroom for an interview with VOX reporters. When they arrived, I immediately hopped out of my seat and speed-walked to the door. There Mescudi stood, along with Waugh and
the rest of their entourage. They’d been talking with press all day about the action film, due out March 14. But now it was our time, and we had them all to ourselves. When Mescudi walked into the room, he sat in the audience with the teens and pretended as if he were apart of the crowd. Throughout the interview, Mescudi and Waugh were very funny and kept us entranced. Waugh, a former Hollywood stuntman, shared how he got to where he is today and his process of filming the actionpacked movie. Mescudi spoke about the
“popular kids” can be, because they’re too afraid to separate themselves from the herd. We all want to be perfect, and so does Josie. Unfortunately, the girl’s priorities have long since fallen into a blender and been mixed up. The other main character in the book is Peter Houghton, the novel’s tragic villain. At first, you only know him as the bad guy who shot up Sterling High, killing and injuring students and teachers alike, without any apparent remorse. But wait, there’s more! Peter has been bullied and harassed all his life by the same kids he has to go to high school with — that is, those despicable so-called popular kids, including Josie’s pitiful boyfriend. There’s even one instance in “The Month Before” chapter that had me positively disgusted, and reminded me how cruel real-life bullies can be. As you read Peter’s story, you come face-to-face with the fact that there are countless other Peters worldwide who are victims of having their lunches thrown out, their glasses stomped on, and their sexual orientation questioned — all while also facing domestic issues. And sadly, without psychological and emotional help, teens like Peter end up releasing their pent-up emotions in an all-out explosion, with innocent people caught the blast. “Nineteen Minutes,” like many of Picoult’s other novels, is just … awesome. It does a magnificently
nervousness and excitement filming his first major motion picture and gave teens some great insights on life, based on his hard upbringing. Below are some highlights from the interview, beyond the movie. VOX: You guys filmed most of the movie
realistic and consistent job of showing how shallow, hurtful and even deadly bullying and ostracizing others can be. It also demonstrates how important it is to maintain healthy, good-quality relationships — not ones with so-called friends that do nothing but primp themselves up and call other people names like “gay” and “loser.” In the matter of pure entertainment value, I, as usual, find Picoult’s humor and play-by-play of court trials very amusing. I’d hate to say anything bad about this book. But I must admit that I am frustrated with Josie and her pompous, arrogant boyfriend. I find myself wanting to smack Josie for her constant failure to act like a dignified young woman with some sort of respect for herself, when she’s in Matt’s presence. And if you read the book all the way through, you’ll find out why me yapping about these two is more vital to the story than you think. So there you have it, folks! If you’re looking for a nice TV-14 read with drama, thrills, realism and potential tear-jerkers packed into 455 pages of expert writing, then come get “Nineteen Minutes” by the New England mistress of storytelling, Jodi Lynn Picoult! Sharmaine, 16, attends Lovejoy High School and loves Jodi Picoult.
in and around Atlanta. So where were your hangout spots? Waugh: It was great. We filmed all through Georgia. We were a couple weeks in Macon and about five weeks in Atlanta, all throughout the outskirts of Atlanta, Rome, then Blue Ridge and Stone Mountain. That's where the
VoxTeenCommunications.org
MY STORY VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Think Before You Ink By Chad Gordon VOX Staff
I
just turned 18, and I was completely lost on what I wanted to do for this special occasion. I wanted to do something different than the usual family and friends dinner. I thought about a vacation, and then thought to ask for high-priced gifts, but I figured I could always get them for another day. Then it hit me: for my 18th birthday, I wanted a tattoo. I’ve always wanted a tattoo. Maybe because my dad has one, I figured when I was old enough I should get one, too. I remember my dad coming home one day with a tattoo of my mom’s name. I asked why he got it, and he told me it was because he wanted my mom close to his heart. I loved the idea of getting a tattoo, especially one with so much meaning. My mom, on the other hand, has a
Marshall Motors auto body shop is in the movie. We took over a real auto body shop and just gave it some real life. VOX: You wanted to join the navy before you went to school. Do you now see not joining the navy as a blessing because of the great things you get to do? Mescudi: I must’ve watched too much “Antwone Fisher.” I was really inspired. You know, I felt like I was such a juvenile delinquent that I thought that the only way I could learn how to be a man is
different opinion. She doesn’t like the idea of getting a tattoo. She thinks it’s a bad idea to pierce the skin. Now that I am old enough to get one, though, I’m still kind of excited about the thought of getting a tattoo. I asked my mom recently about getting a tattoo, and she told me with the most worried face, “It will be your decision if you want to get a tattoo, but you will need to do your research on the subject.” With respect, I nodded, understanding why it was a serious decision to get a tattoo. Coincidentally, in my anatomy and physiology class, we were studying the integumentary system (the skin), and we had a project about tattooing the skin. When you tattoo the skin, the needle filled with the ink doesn’t drag across the skin like a pen on paper, but it repeatedly goes in and out, piercing the skin, which is why it can be so painful. Once it’s fresh on the skin, you have to take care of it for two
if I went to the military. I passed my physical and all that. The final stage was that you met the head sergeant. They ask you a bunch of questions and whether you have a police record. He found some stuff from when I was, like, 16. Just like crazy stuff, you know madness things. Because of my police record, they assumed that I had a temper, and they were very right. They denied me. It was a blessing in disguise. Life has so many twists and turns. You never know where you're going to end up, so just keep your wits about you and
weeks while the extra layer of skin peels off. What makes tattoos so long-lasting is that they're so deep — the ink isn't injected into the epidermis (the top layer of skin that you continue to produce and shed throughout your lifetime). Instead, the ink is injected into the dermis, which is the second, deeper layer of skin. Dermis cells are strong, so they won't shed, making the tattoo permanent. Most tattoo artists know how deep to drive the needle into your skin, because not going deep enough will produce a ragged tattoo, and going too deep can cause bleeding and intense pain. Getting a tattoo can take anywhere from 15 minutes to several hours, depending on the size and design chosen. Sometimes, getting a tattoo results in infections and skin complications, such as allergic reactions and keloid formations, a form of tissue scar usually wherever you have been pierced or scratched. Getting a tattoo hasn’t always been the most popular thing to do, and tattoos haven’t always been socially acceptable. But by 2013, 45 million Americans had at least one tattoo. Even celebrities
keep your integrity. VOX: How does it feel to go from being a stunt man to directing people to do stunts? Waugh: My dad was a stuntman and I grew up in that family. That’s just what we did. It was fun, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t creative. Being a stuntman, there is zero creativity. But I was being educated by Steven Spielberg, Oliver Stone, Michael Mann. These are some of the greatest filmmakers of all time,
PAGE 7 love to show off their tattoos now, from basketball players like Kobe Bryant to singers and actors like Wiz Khalifa. Although more people have them, they aren’t usually acceptable in the work field. Going into a workplace, you have to carry yourself in a respectful manner, and tattoos in the business field still aren’t always acceptable. When tattoos are visible at work or in social life, they are sometimes looked down upon based on the image it shows, such as people who have visible tattoos are people who are up to no good. That theory isn’t always correct. From what I know about tattoos, I am still excited about the thought of getting one. As I told my friends and family about the idea, they all asked the same question, “What will you get?” For a while now, that has been a very hard decision. Because the tattoo is permanent, I want it to mean something, just like my dad’s tattoo over his heart of my mom’s name. And if you are thinking about getting a tattoo, my advice is to continue thinking about the idea. If you do decide to go through with it, you have to consider the idea of the tattoo being on you forever. Chad, 18, is a senior at Grady High School, who loves the color red and spending time with good friends.
and by me being a stuntman, I got to be on their set. Being a stunt man for so long kept me humble. I was always the runt on the set and so I direct with that knowledge of what it’s like to be on the bottom. I treat people with respect no matter what position they have on my set. It’s really important to me. Read more of VOX’s interview and check out a review of Kid Cudi’s new album on the VOX website at VoxTeenCommunications.org! Photo on page 6 by Deja Brown, VOX Staff.
BULLYING PAGE 8
VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Why Kids Bully Lifting the mask on why teens punish each other
By Danielle Kreger VOX Staff
W
hen you think about a bully, the first image that comes to mind is usually some monstrous student with razor sharp teeth, a dribble of drool dripping down from his mouth, and two fists up and ready to swing. While I know that is a slightly embellished image, in a lot of incidents of bullying, the person bullying is portrayed as some inhuman brute, incapable of compassion or emotion. But the act of bullying goes beyond plain aggression — there is something that drives a person to bully. Sometimes he or she is aware of it, but many times the bully is not. However, there are several common factors that can cause someone to bully. From a super-controlling home life to one with few rules, to a school setting with little supervision or few limits, to friends who encourage it, bullies are bred from many sources.
bully. In his article, “The Secret Life of Bullies: Why They Do It and How to Stop Them,” James Lehman, a renowned child behavioral therapist, writes: “Parents who use aggression or intimidation to get their way” serve as sources of inspiration for bullies. Even having siblings who bully can set the stage for a child to think bullying is acceptable behavior.
that bullying can be fueled by a sense of power or pride a bully gets from being watched — especially when a bully’s friends think bullying is funny or cool. Surrounded by friends who approve of bullying, bullies see their actions as socially acceptable rather than harmful. Bullying someone outside of a friendship can even be used as a bonding activity between friends. That sense of camaraderie solidifies bullying as positive and beneficial in the mind of the bully.
To combat future bullying, we cannot damn the bully as a hopeless monster. On the extreme opposite side, homes where the parents are uninvolved are often linked with bullying, too. Dr. Peter Raddalli, a child neurologist at Children’s Hospital in Boston, asserts, “[A] lack of adult response early on in the bully behavior emboldens bullies” and can make bullying behavior seem acceptable. With the end goal of getting a parent’s affection and attention, bullies often act out against their siblings or peers.
Home life matters
Pushing the limits
According to an Education.com article titled “Why Do Kids Bully,” there are two contrasting home environments that bullies tend to spring from: the over-involved parent and the underinvolved parent. It seems natural to imitate the actions of adults or parents, and often a bully does just that. By commanding obedience and utilizing severe punishments, some parents are the negative role models for children who
Bullying behavior thrives in settings with poor supervision or few rules, such as a busy school hallway or boisterous classroom. “Why Do Kids Bully” says that bullies generally bully when there is not a large chance of punishment. However, that lack of punishment does not mean there is always a lack of witnesses. Thomas Farmer and Cristin Hall write in their article “Bully in School: Exploration of Peer Group Dynamics,”
Social status There is the common myth that bullies act as they do because they are insecure or have low self-esteem. But the truth may be closer to the opposite! In their article, Farmer and Hall state that bullies tend to have high social status in their high schools (they are considered popular). The pair describes bullying as “a form of social power, and it involves effort to protect one’s own status” by making victims out of vulnerable peers. While some bullying does stem from an attempt to gain social prestige or power, it is also a form of maintaining that power. It is also possible for bullies to mistake bullying as cool because it is celebrated in some forms of media, like violent television and video games. WebMD attributes the media’s portrayal of bullying “behavior being rewarded” to having a negative influence on bullies. Although it is an influence far less obvious than the immediate family and friends, media is
just as powerful in affecting the behavior of children. Television shows and video games with violent, angry themes are socially acceptable and often encourage aggressive behavior. Bullying is not excusable for any reason, but bullies have something that is causing them to act aggressively and behave as they do, even if they do not realize it. James Lehman credits bullying behavior as a supplement to “work[ing] things out, manga[ing]…emotions, and learn[ing] to solve problems,” while Dr. Dorothy Espelage argues that uncontrolled anger and an inability to manage anger is the main source of bullying behavior. From a surplus of emotions to a troubled home life to peer acceptance of their behavior, bullying has many causes. To combat future bullying, we cannot damn the bully as a hopeless monster. Bullies need to be taught the correct, positive way to express their thoughts and be given a chance to grow as beneficial members of society. If we want to stop bullying, we cannot just cast away the bully as a horrible person; we have to look at the source of his or her behavior and correct it there. From learning to manage emotions to new methods of problem solving, bullying behavior can be corrected. I do think each bully should take responsibility for his or her actions and face the consequences. But I think we should be careful not to objectify bullies to the point where we no longer think of them as human. People who bully need just as much help and attention as those whom they bully. Danielle, 17, is a senior at Woodward Academy who loves creative writing.
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Becoming the Bully By Safiya Miller VOX Staff
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hroughout elementary and middle school, I was teased because I “talked white.” I never used the word ain’t, so people looked at me differently. I used proper grammar and enunciated my words. I was often teased for trying to act like a white person while, at the same time, I was teased for my “nappy” hair. My classmates constantly asked me questions about when I would finally get a perm and why my hair was so bad. My mother refused, and still does, to allow me to get a perm. I come from a very Afro-centric background, and my family is very conscious of our heritage. I had a different education than most people at my school. Until elementary school, I was homeschooled which allowed me to enter first grade at 5 years old. By the time I was in the fifth grade, I was 9 years old. And as soon as my classmates realized that I was younger, I was ostracized. I was told I was too young to play with my classmates, and making friends became even more difficult. In eighth grade, the boys took notice of my flat chest and slim figure. I once had a diagram drawn of me that displayed my assets or lack thereof. It made me feel inadequate and insecure in my body. The bullying was almost always allegedly harmless, the kind that is easily dismissible. But bullying is never completely harmless — not the kind you get from siblings and especially not the
kind you get from friends. So it may come as a surprise then that after being bullied, I became a bully. I realized that it was easier to make people laugh than it was to be laughed at. I started with just being rude to teachers, and my classmates would laugh with me. Then, it grew into being mean to other classmates. I never woke up in the morning and decided that I would hurt someone’s feelings that day. I just took the opportunity to make my classmates laugh at someone else’s expense and soon enough, that’s what became expected of me, and I fulfilled the role. When the person sitting next to me wouldn’t stop talking or their breath smelled bad, I made fun of that. I asked the class if anyone had gum because the guy sitting next to me needed some. My classmates around me laughed, so I didn’t feel too bad. It became easy to rationalize the things I said. I told myself, “I was telling the truth” and “I’m just a really honest person.” Soon enough, my friends let me know that I was a bully. They said it casually as if bullying was OK, but I remembered what being bullied felt like. I was shocked to realize that I was now a mean person. I said things aggressively and with malicious intent. After I looked at the things I had said and done, I did not like myself. But it was hard to change. Now there were expectations that I would be funny and outspoken, and it was hard to break away from that. I had to learn how to behave without being mean. I was able to
ART BY HALLIE HARTLEY | VOX STAFF
get a fresh start when I switched schools. But even then, the filter I used to make sure nothing profane slipped out of my mouth was so poorly used that I often found myself apologizing for something I said minutes before. I still do today. I am, though, trying to make a conscious effort to change my behavior. Bullying is something everybody struggles with. Whether you’re the victim
or the bully, it’s not healthy for anyone. Nobody is OK with being bullied, even in the slightest sense and often times, the bully is dealing with some sort of trauma. It is not black and white. And while we would like to put all the blame on the bully, I don’t believe it’s that simple. Safiya, 16, is a senior at North Atlanta High School who loves milkshakes.
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VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
THE SILENT BULLY How common stereotypes can shape teens By Mikael Trench VOX Staff
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hen you hear the word lion, what image comes to mind? Most likely you think of a ferocious, powerful and big cat with a mane, sitting against the backdrop of an African sunset with its hair blowing in the wind. Obviously, they rule the savanna with an iron fist (or paw), and no animal dares challenge their authority. They must live the perfect life. However, that’s not the actual case. In reality, lions must fight, day in and day out against ruthless hyenas, deadly leopards, and even lions from different prides. Even the plant-eaters of the African savanna don’t give lions a break. Cape buffalo, elephants and hippos have been known to kill lions that simply get in the way. Many of their cubs die before seeing their first birthdays, and the big and powerful male lions (the ones with the manes) sleep for 20 hours a day, while the females hunt and care for the cubs. Not so perfect after all, is it?
They’re all around us Believe it or not, it’s not only wild animals that suffer from these relentless stereotypes. In most societies today, different races, genders, nationalities and ethnic groups face stereotypes. A stereotype is basically an exaggerated
image or idea of someone or something, and they have been with us for years now. While some stereotypes are good, most are used to make fun of something or someone. I have personally been a victim of stereotyping, especially when I got to high school. People continually ask me “Why do you sound like that?” or “Why aren’t you good at sports?” But probably
would simply ignore me. Now, I can’t start labeling people and saying that the whole reason why they would ignore me is because of the stereotypes that surround my gender or race. But I have noticed a significant difference in how much attention I get, compared to those who are more like what everyone expects.
It is upsetting that we live in a world where, because you were simply born a certain color or a certain gender, you have to act how everyone expects you to, especially if you want to make friends and have a social life. the most common question is “What are you?” which is usually regarding my race. I’m African-American, but I’m sometimes mistaken for being biracial. I don’t take offense to these questions, but I do remember them. Honestly, however, it would be hard at times to tell these people about my hobbies and what I like to do. What would they think of me? Would I be able to fit in with everyone else? Once my peers found out what I was really like, I think they
Probably my best example was in my honors literature class last semester. It had people of many different races and they all acted exactly how society makes them appear, particularly the Asians, who were incredibly hard-working and got straight As, and the black kids, who often fooled around and got very low grades. The people who acted like they fit those stereotypes had many friends and were given more attention by the teacher, whether positively or negatively.
However, I was often given little regard in the class by the teacher or the students, and it almost always felt like they were judging me based on what I did or what I looked like, just from those cold stares they would give me when I went about my business. After all these questions, observations, and comments, it has made me realize that the horrible truth is that with teens, stereotypes mainly do nothing more than classify everybody.
Everything has its place Go to any high school, or even middle school for that matter, and notice how everyone situates themselves during their free time, mostly during lunch. You’ll notice that everyone who sits with each other is usually the same race or ethnicity. If not, then the lunchroom will usually be split up by gender, or sometimes a mix of both. Others notice that these friends often share the same likes, dislikes and styles such as a kind of hair style, or the places they like to go, or the music they like to listen to. But without even caring to actually go up to these people and know them on a more personal level, teens making the stereotypes will most likely assume what these people like to do in their free time, and so a stereotype is born. And once new groups are created, to a certain degree, it can be easier to identify newcomers as part of these
VoxTeenCommunications.org groups. Call me a weirdo, but yes, I’ve actually noticed this and how it all works. But what about those who are different from their expected stereotype — me, for example? The teens that I would normally be grouped with, mostly other black teen boys, are into sports, video games, and social networking 24/7. But I, on the other hand, am into Japanese giant monster movies, traveling, making movies, writing and animals. Sure, there are people out there who can accept me for the way I am, to the point of becoming close friends of mine, but others simply find me weird and want nothing to do with me. This may also be because I can’t easily be classified, and my peers become too frustrated to actually try and learn about me as an individual. For years, I have had to deal with this and as frustrating as it can be, I have refused to change myself for others to like me. Unfortunately, I have met people who have tried too hard to do what everyone expects of them and have ultimately become different people altogether.
Don’t do what they tell you Those who try too hard to fit in started out as wonderful people who had beautiful personalities and unique attributes that made them one-of-a-kind. But once they were in public, I noticed something completely different about them. These friends of mine would try and act “cool” for others by doing what the otherr so-called cool kids did and
BULLYING VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014 acting like them. It was sad to see that they were trying to do this instead of being themselves. Those habits turn into lifestyles, and that’s when people can completely change. For example, when I was in 7th grade, I met a cool guy who ended up hanging out with me quite a bit. He was a very unique friend to me and let me see all his amazing traits and characteristics
from what I know, he has not been acting like himself ever since. It’s incredibly heartbreaking to see someone who has such a great personality turn into someone he isn’t. It is upsetting that we live in a world where, because you were simply born a certain color or a certain gender, you have to act how everyone expects, especially
PAGE 11 the other so-called cool kids all the time, and that will eventually make you stop being who you are at the end. There’s nothing wrong with trying out new things that your friends may like, but don’t push yourself to the limit to make them happy, because you may regret it in the future. It may also be a good idea to try and make friends with those who may be suffering from being stereotyped. These people may end up actually having neat personalities that you may like.
Aren’t we all supposed to be different?
that made him special. However, I was probably the only person who knew about these cool traits, because I noticed at school he would try acting cool around other guys by doing what they thought was fun, which was mostly in dress and music. I attempted to help him many times, but it was just too hard for him to show his true self to everyone. After 8th grade, he moved to a different state and
if you want to make friends and have a social life. But it is sadly the truth, at times. This doesn’t mean, however, that everyone has to believe these stereotypes. Being you is the best way to go. Do not allow people to make you believe that you have to follow certain guidelines to be their friends. If you allow that to happen, you may start feeling the need to act like
Let’s not forget that the world is a big place, and all sorts of people live in it. We are all different, and that is a fact that cannot be ignored. If there is someone you may not like just because they are not like everyone else, keep in mind that there are many famous people out there today who were just like that person you may be ignoring. Who knows, they may just have some hidden potential! It’s most likely that all stereotypes will not be stopped in a day, and I’m not trying to say that everyone has to be friends with each other. All I’m trying to note is that having assumptions of people based on the way they look is wrong, and it really should be stopped. That goes for everyone, whether human or king of beasts. Mikael, 15, is a sophomore at Wheeler High School who likes to make short sci-fi and horror films. He created the art above.
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VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Cliques Don’t Click When it comes to bullying, a Parkview junior explains why cliques are exacerbating the problem By Amy Pan VOX Staff
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ou can’t sit with us.” These scathing words, uttered by Plastics member Gretchen Wiener in the film “Mean Girls” slice through the air like a butcher knife, immediately and effectively alienating it-girl Regina George from the exclusive clique’s lunch table. Why? Because, on that day, Regina George happened to be wearing, wait for it … sweatpants. Fan or not a fan of “Mean Girls,” each teenager who has ever walked the halls of high school has experienced a similar scenario. Cliques have been a constant and unrelenting part of the junior high and high school experience. Through the football games, homecoming dances, math tests and endless English papers, cliques have remained a fixture in the complicated entity that is high school. There is almost an unspoken understanding amongst students concerning the various types of cliques: the “nerds,” the “jocks,” the
“preppy kids,” the “emo crowd.” And the list goes on. Unfortunately, much to the dismay of many teenagers, these cliques provide an easy outlet for bullies to strike. Take “Mean Girls” Plastics leader Regina George and her two girlfriends/sidekicks, for example. Together, Regina, Gretchen
power of strength-in-numbers. Breanna Dubbs, a junior at Parkview High School, says, “Teens are automatically drawn to those who share similar views and hobbies, but when you’re surrounded by people who are like you, you’re more likely to feel superior to those who aren’t.” Dubbs adds, “A group of people who are similar are very aware of those who are excluded, and it makes it easy to call those kids out and pick on them.” This feeling of exclusion and insecurity brought on by cliques is not an uncommon emotion amongst high schoolers, even if it is less a less direct form of bullying. Cliques may not necessarily prompt physical violence all the time, but the simple act of isolation can be enough to destroy a fellow students’ self-confidence. Amanda Mitchell, a junior at Parkview, agrees with this sentiment and admits, “All the cliques and specific groups of friends at school can sometimes make me feel like I'm missing out on exciting get-togethers and inside jokes.” Parkview senior Danni Mussatt adds, “Once someone is rejected from a group, it makes them feel like they don't belong,
“It really lowers someone’s self-esteem if he’s not able to achieve the favor of the group, and the need of some cliques to put up hazing initiations certainly doesn’t help.” - Kristin Speer, junior, Houston County High and Karen effectively terrorize and intimidate all of North Shore High, but once Regina finds herself on her own, she can no longer exert her dominance.
Rejection and relegation Real-life teens have also noticed the
and they’re always on the outside.”
Picking on the weaker men This does not mean that cliques never engage in direct bullying. In addition to merely cutting off the so-called uncool kids, they can also prove to be a harsh,
outright source of oppression in school environments. Kristin Speer, a junior at Houston County High School, says, “[Cliques] target individuality and increase peer pressure, making certain students think that they must conform to the society in order to fit in.” Speer goes on to say, “It really lowers someone’s self-esteem if he’s not able to achieve the favor of the group, and the need of some cliques to put up hazing initiations certainly doesn’t help.” Speer is right about that. Hazing is not just limited to college fraternities — some high school cliques also haze new members as a rite of passage. At Woodside High School in California, for example, two varsity boys basketball players were beaten, gagged, duct-taped to chairs and had their faces painted with lipstick by their fellow teammates during a tournament. This callous behavior brings up another point: sometimes, high school cliques come in the form of sports teams or other extracurricular groups. The danger is only increased during circumstances like these because the tormentors are peers who are supposed to act as a family to the victim. In fact, many times, cliques form in the most unexpected ways, with the most unexpected people. Mussatt, a member of her school marching band, recalls, “Last year in band, we had a group of officers who were supposed to be leaders and mentors to the younger kids, but they were the complete opposite. They were all senior guys, who would stick together in their own little clique and make fun of nearly everyone else.” She adds, “It was just really sad because they were supposed to be the ones offering guidance and support to the other band members, but instead, they just made the rest of us feel worthless. Eventually, it got so bad that several freshmen went to the band director in tears and quit the band.”
What can be done? Unfortunately, bullying caused by
BULLYING
VoxTeenCommunications.org cliques is rampant among teens, but perhaps there is hope. Most teens have come to accept the fact that cliques will always be a part of growing up, but that does not mean that they are satisfied with it. Dubbs says, “Cliques are inevitable, but people should ultimately be exposed to others who are unlike themselves.” Mussat agrees, adding, “Students as a whole should stand up to bullying, especially from cliques. Even if it doesn’t get rid of cliques completely, it’ll let those bullies know that what they’re doing is definitely not OK.” Combating clique-initiated bullying is generally more difficult than going after individual bullying, mainly because cliques find strength in numbers. However, teens can still speak out against the damages that they cause. If the bullying is being done by an unlikely group (i.e. teammates or fellow club members), those being targeted need to realize that such behavior is disgraceful, wrong, and essentially uncalled for. Perhaps the most important step to take, however, is talking to a teacher or another adult figure. Students are often reluctant to do so in fear of retaliation from their classmates, but the truth is, it really will help the situation.
At the end of the day, cliques will be to high school what pollen is to springtime, but increasing awareness about the damages they cause could be the first step to making profound changes to high schools everywhere. Mitchell sums it up best as she says, “Cliques are going to form no matter what, because there are always people who don't want to go outside their comfort zone, but it's important for clique members to understand that their actions truly do affect others. All of the ‘mean girls’ (and guys) out there need to learn to respect everyone, even the peers who might be different from the rest.”
Girl Code By Vanessa Alva VOX Staff
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frenemy is a person who pretends to be your friend, butt secretly doesn't like you, and only talks to you for his or her personal gain. It relates to the wellknown expression, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
The movie "Mean Girls" is a funny but honest representation of high school friendships. It does exaggerate in some parts but the basic concept is real. The personalities similar to Cady, Gretchen, Karen and Regina are present in many friendships and embody the different type of frenemies that exist. A bus running over them is not necessarily the solution, like in the case of Regina, but there are other ways to stop them.
Type 1: The frenemy that is secretly in a competition with you. (Cady from “Mean Girls” during part of the movie) She is always making nasty comments about you to bring you down. She wants to be better than you, so making you feel insecure is her purpose. She'll purposely tell you a dress looks nice on you when it doesn't ,to make you look bad.
Solution: Cut them off!
Amy is a junior at Parkview High School.
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VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Understanding the three types of frenemies: mean girls edition Type 2: The frenemy that only associates with you to be safe (Gretchen and Karen from “Mean Girls”) This friend only talks to you for her personal gain. Typically, these friends know a secret about you, and you know a secret about them. This keeps you both in danger of having those secrets revealed if there iss any issue between you two. She may act like you're good friends, but talk behind your back every chance she gets. The reason she acts like your friend may vary, but the point is she's not really your friend. You should be careful in trusting her.
Solution: Keep her around to avoid drama, but be careful what you share with her. After high school, you probably won't talk.
Type 3: The Ultimate Mean Girl (Regina George from “Mean Girls”) This type of girl is just plain mean. She enjoys insulting girls, because of the way they look, who they are, who they talk to, etc. Her purpose is to
make other girls feel insecure. She will always pick on you to get a response. She mainly surrounds herself with frenemies that are scared of her.
Solution: Ignore her comments. If you ignore her and don't respond, she will get tired of you and bother someone else. Note: Not all girls are like this! There are girls out there that will be your support system. Members of VOX’s Girls Group are pictured above, playing an energizer that allows them to identify with each other, based on different general statements about girls. Stay tuned for an entire section of VOX Newspaper from Girls Group in the next edition!
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VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Autobullying
Mac discovers he’s often his own best friend, and sometimes, his own worst enemy By Mac Rowe VOX Staff
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ometimes, you can get bullied by the person you’d least expect — yourself. I’ve always been true to who
I am. After all, I’ve always been told to just “be myself.” I’ve made mistakes here and there that I probably shouldn’t have made, but who hasn’t? We’re all human, and we were created to be imperfect. And if we were perfect, what would we have to strive for? Last year was a difficult year for me. In the past (middle school mostly), I didn’t have a ton of friends because I was a bit different from most people. Also, it didn’t help that I was kind of a snitch (admittedly, it was my way of getting out of certain classes; mostly P.E., because I hate physical activity), and many people were wrongly affected by that. I definitely sugar-coated in my own mind any negative feelings that people might have had for me, as well as my opinion of myself, so I wouldn’t be so upset. But then high school rolled around. The media gives the impression that high school is the very worst experience if you’re on the bottom of the so-called food chain.And if high school was going to be worse than middle school, I was
sure I wasn’t going. But of course, I didn’t have a choice. I still wanted to go to school to get an education, but I decided I wasn’t going to make friends, because they might tear me apart
by turning on me. So I closed myself off to the public. The Mac gallery wouldn’t be accepting visitors that year, and it didn’t make people very happy. But I didn’t just close myself off. I emotionally beat myself up, because I didn’t think I was good enough. I called it “autobullying.” My mom was always the first to tell me how I was super handsome and all that super mushy stuff that moms are supposed to say. She meant it, but I didn’t want to believe it. Everything in my head told me that I wouldn’t be good enough for the kids at Academe of the Oaks. Unfortunately, that took a toll on me. As much as my peers may have wanted to help me, I wouldn’t let them in. Instead, I would cry. I’d cry, because that’s what I would do in middle school when I was getting bullied, the few times it actually happened.
Other times I would just cry, because it felt good. Letting out your emotions is always good. But I guess that’s not a “manly” thing to do, so people would call me “crybaby.” And then there was the fact that I would be called names like “football head.” It wasn’t hurtful really. It just got annoying that people couldn’t come up with new insults. But all of that led to my
downfall. At a 9th grade trip one night, I felt like crying and decided to excuse myself from dinner abruptly to go sob in my tent. One student came in and started talking to me, and
she told me, “We all say things to each other and some of those things may hurt our feelings, but in the end, we don’t mean it, and we’re all family.” And slowly, two more peers came into the tent as well. The fact that they came to talk to me and comfort me made me realize for the first time that these people do genuinely care about me. For the first time, I felt as if I had more than one or two friends. I had a whole class that treated me like family, and I would never forget that. The summer of 2013 was my time of repair. I had gotten a new wardrobe (for the longest time, rain or shine, I’d worn sandals 24/7), and I stopped making myself feel so bad about worthless problems that shouldn’t have affected my thoughts about myself. As of now, I am able to even joke around about things like that. Things like “football head” don’t bother me anymore, and I’m able to laugh at them now. I’m nowhere near perfect, but every step I’ve taken has proved that being perfect would really stink. And nobody likes a stinky person. Even if they are perfect. Mac, 15, is a sophomore at Academe of the Oaks who loves the color purple because it’s a royal color. He created the illustration above, of him shooting himself in the back.
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Cyberbully ABC Family’s 2011 original film deals with the web’s trickiest and most dangerous trap for teens By India Anderson VOX Staff
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ave you ever thought you would find yourself in your bathroom, ready to take your own life, due to Internet bullying? Have you ever thought a bully could be someone close to you? Maybe a best friend you’ve known since kindergarten? Well in the ABC Family original film “Cyberbully,” which first aired in 2011, actress Emily Osment plays a 17-year-old girl named Taylor Hillridge,
who is constantly getting bullied by girls at her school and even her so-called best friend Samantha. Samantha is played by Kay Panbaker (you may know her from the 2007 movie “Nancy Drew”). The two girls attend Mountain High School with their other friend Cheyenne, played by Meaghan Rath.
The film starts on Taylor’s 17th birthday. Taylor’s mom gets her a laptop for her because she wants to become a journalist. But she also has rules. The rules are simple: No inappropriate sites and no giving out personal information. As soon as she gets free time, Taylor and her besties start a Cliquester account. Cliquester is the new social VOX readers need to know how to get out of network in the movie. It’s even cyberbullying situations. Here are some tips: referred to as “better than Facebook” in the movie, but 1. Delete your account. Join a support group. everything isn’t rainbows and apple pie for Taylor. 2. Or block the bully/bullies on your social The next day Taylor’s media accounts. account is hacked (by her brother), and he posts a nasty 3. Print all the bad posts for evidence. Contact status that her whole school your internet service provider (or report bullies sees. This is when the bullying to Twitter or Facebook administrators). begins. MHS students start to comment that she is a slut, 4. The most important thing to do is SPEAK and she’s nasty. She later finds UP! You can talk to a parent, a favorite out it was her brother and teacher, a coach, and even a good friend. It is posts that it was him, but it always good to talk. just makes things harder. Then
How to Get Help
she gets a friend request from a guy named James, who is actually a person made up by her friend Samantha. Now, I wouldn’t spoil the movie for you, but James/Samantha does some pretty cruel things to Taylor, like spreading a rumor saying he has an STD, and he that got it from her. This ruins Taylor socially and emotionally. The guy that she has been crushing on for a while, Scott Ozsik, bails on her for the spring fling. Taylor loses her good friend Cheyenne, because people start bullying her as well. Near the end of the movie, Taylor finally breaks and posts a pre-suicide video on Cliquester. She believes it’s the only way solve her problem, but she is so very wrong. Here’s what I learned from watching “Cyberbully.” One major thing is that Samantha was never really Taylor’s friend. Real besties don’t say, “Eww, disgusting!” when you’re talking about your birthday outfit, and they don’t say the guy you like is stupid. Besties are encouraging and loving. They care about you, and they show that. Samantha’s role is more of a toxic friend. I have to admit, it is hard to think that the friend you have known forever is “toxic,” but it is so real. VOX readers need to know how to get out of these situations. Here’s what to do: Delete your account. Join a
FILM STILL COURTESY OF TV GUIDE
support group. Block the bully/bullies on your social media accounts. Print all the bad posts for evidence in case you need to involve law enforcement. Contact your Internet service provider (or report bullies to Twitter or Facebook administrators). The most important thing to do is speak up! You can talk to a parent, a favorite teacher, a coach or even a good friend. It is always good to talk about it. Things not to do: Don’t fight fire with fire. Do not become a bully yourself! Name calling is childish, ugly and hurtful. Becoming the bully is not solving your problem (see what we mean on page 9). I say this movie is a must see. The movie made me realize that cyberbullying can have just as much of an effect on a person as regular bullying. Cyberbullying is still happening today. Maybe this movie will encourage you or another teen to speak up and save someone’s life. Teens can find the movie on Netflix, OnDemand for Xfinity or DVD. India, 17, is a junior at Lakeside High School who loves Drake.
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VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Some Scars are more than skin deep By Sania Chandrani VOX Staff
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ometimes, scratched souls result in scarred bodies. I know a girl who laughs uncontrollably, smiles brightly and loves unconditionally, and she has scars on her arms. She has scars on her arms because she put them there. “My life had reached a pretty disturbing point where I just didn’t care if I lived or died, so one day, I just did it,” she told me. One day, my then 16-year-old friend just picked up a blade and did it. When she told me her story, we were both in tears. While she wishes to remain anonymous, she wants me to share her message with those who will listen. “When I was cutting, the whole world would become numb, and I wouldn’t have to worry about my parents fighting or how alone I felt at school, and I’m not going to lie — it felt pretty good. It was easy to
In the Know:
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Mental Health America lists warning signs that someone is injuring themselves as follows:
“Unexplained frequent injury including cuts and burns, wearing long pants and sleeves in warm weather, low self-esteem, difficulty handling feelings, relationship problems, and poor functioning at work, school or home.”
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Experts estimate the incidence of habitual self-injurers is nearly
grab a blade and clock out for a couple of minutes. But that’s just it; it was only ever temporary,” my friend said.
Why do we hurt? What allows people to manage stress is a support system. When that support system disappears, stress takes over. It is easier to feel hurt and more difficult to cope. “It’s very unusual for a stressed-out person with a lot of support, a lot of skills, to engage in that kind of behavior. It’s mostly going to be when they feel alone and are hurting,” explains Marissa Mundy M.S., LAPC, NCC, a counselor at The Anxiety and Stress Management Institute in Marietta. “Bullying is a huge reason people engage in self-harm … when someone is bullied, there is violence ... that sends the message that ‘You are not worth anything, and you are [wrong] for hurting,’” states Mundy. “And by cutting, this person is saying, ‘I’m going to continue this cycle of
1% of the population, with a higher proportion of females than males. The typical onset of self-harming acts is at puberty. The behaviors often last 5-10 years but can persist much longer without appropriate treatment.
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Nearly 50% report physical and/or sexual abuse during his or her childhood. Many report (as high as 90%), that they were discouraged from expressing emotions, particularly anger and sadness. — Both resource boxes by Sania Chandrani
violence against myself,’ and they actually join with the bully in abusing themselves.” Whether the reason is bullying, family conflicts, loneliness or stress, lack of a support system can push people over the edge. When this happens — when people feel there is no one around to help or care — they try not to care about their feelings or their pain. They may try to block it out by hurting themselves physically, simply because they are curious, as my friend says she was. “Initially, it was just one big impulse, and I was very shocked when it was done. I told myself, ‘This will never happen again,’ and, ‘You aren’t this person,’ but obviously it did, and I slowly became that person.”
Hurting and healing What is real is the pain. “People who engage in self-harm are hurting deeply. The behavior is a symptom of the emotional pain,” Mundy explains. A crucial realization is that the root problem is the emotion behind the self-harm, not the self-harm itself. This is why it is important to address the thoughts and feelings as opposed to the cutting or bruising, by caring not accusing. For those who know and care about someone who engages in self-harm, silence is not the answer. It will not make the pain a loved one is feeling go away, and pointing fingers is not the way to go either. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, ‘I know people see these scars on my arms. I know they recognize these gashes on my legs, and no one cares — no one says anything,’” Mundy states. So talk about it, she advises. Shed light
BULLYING
VoxTeenCommunications.org
VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014 because of the dependency on the endorphins, stopping self-harm is similar to healing other addictions.
Learning to heal
“It was easy to grab a blade and clock out for a couple of minutes. But that’s just it; it was only ever temporary.” on the emotional discord that causes the gashes on the skin as opposed to the skin itself. “Because when it stays hidden, when it stays a secret, that’s when that person stays in bondage to it. But if we talk about it, [the cutting or self-harm] loses its power,” Mundy continues. The first step is to talk about it. As Mundy says, “sympathize and empathize with the emotional pain they are experiencing.” If reaching out supportively does not work, speak to someone with more authority in the individual’s life, whether it is a parent, teacher or counselor. “Cutting never made me happy for the long run, and it certainly didn’t change anything in my life,” my friend said. “If anything, it made life harder. But of course, I would never admit that,
because it all seemed worth it for those few moments of happiness while I was cutting.” Tracy Alderman, Ph.D., in his article “The Scarred Soul” for Psychology Today, explained the physiology behind selfinjury. When one is injured, the body releases endorphins into the bloodstream. “Endorphins are neurotransmitters that act similarly to morphine and reduce the amount of pain we experience when we are hurt,” Alderman explains. The result is a few seconds of pain-masking numbness. Eventually, one can become psychologically dependent on the endorphins, which act similarly to morphine and can cause an addiction that can lead to withdrawal symptoms if the body stops receiving the relief. Even after the will to self-harm has ceased,
But reaching out is not weak. Needing help is not cowardly. Mundy emphasizes that when it gets to the point of selfharm, that is when “stress and emotions have gone on for too long without being acknowledged and dealt with. That’s when you really need to reach out to a professional.” Whether it is a school counselor or someone in private practice, finding someone is not out of reach. Usually, people know somewhere deep down that they are in pain, which they are trying to somehow relieve. When that does not work, numbness becomes the next best thing. While discussing what helped her overcome her pain, my friend said, “In the end, it took a good move to a new school, some truly amazing friends, and one really bad scare to make me realize what I was doing.” One of her last cuts had been very deep. “I am not afraid to say it scared the sh*t out of me,” she said. “I found myself running around my bedroom afraid and searching for tissues in response to [a cut] I would have treated with apathy or disappointment just a couple months earlier. I had finally started caring about my life again.” At that point, she realized she had a support system. “For once, I did not want to die!” she said. Whenever faced with a relapse, she decided, “I just didn’t want cutting to have any more power over me.” With more help from some friends and even her family, my best friend said, “I was able to stop cutting, and I have been free of it for about four years now.” She admitted to me, “There are times where I’ve caught myself wanting to start again, but I would like to think I’m a little stronger now and have reached a point where I won’t need that to make myself feel good anymore.”
Living through it and remembering Yes, my friend used to cut. And she used to feel like it provided her an escape, but she overcame her pain, and with that, her desire to cause herself more pain. I am so proud of her for being able to talk to someone. The best thing is that she does not need my validation, even though her fight is not over. Her courage to speak with someone and conquer her demons has made her a much stronger person than I sometimes realize. She has found ways to cope and outlets for her stress. She was able to find a level of peace within herself after years without it, which is something I still struggle with. While I am there for her whenever she needs me, she has been there for me many times over. To anyone who has ever thought about self-harming, she says, “Please don’t. It really is not worth it ... no one ever thinks it will be them until it is, and it’s really freaking hard to get yourself back to a good place.” To anyone who is self-harming, she adds, “I’m sorry for whatever it is you’re dealing with, and I hope you will look for help.” However difficult it may seem now, and it may be hard later as well, she says, “Things can get better. All I am asking is that you don’t give up now.” Whether you are family, a friend, someone who happens to notice a scar or someone who is scarred, don’t give up now. Scarred bodies can heal, and so can scratched souls. Sania, a junior at Parkview High, is a loving friend who believes in research and seriousness, but is always happy to bring a smile to someone’s face with her arsenal of cheesy jokes. She designed these two pages and took the silhouette photos above.
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Don’t Wait! Ask for Help! Know someone in need? Maybe it’s you. Don’t wait to get help or offer it. Use these local and national resources to seek support. The Anxiety & Stress Management Institute ASMI is “an integrative facility focused on mental health and well-being.” They believe that “treating the whole person is the most effective way to produce lasting change” and offer multiple forms of therapy and testing as well as various holistic forms of counseling. Open 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily at: 1640 Powers Ferry Road SE Building 9, Suite 100 Marietta, GA 30067 770-953-0080 (Call for appointment) To Write Love on Her Arms (www.TWLOHA.com) A nonprofit organization dedicated to bringing about hope and finding resources and help for those grappling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT-CUT (1-800-366-8288) Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438 A 24-hour crisis hotline if you’re in an emergency situation: 1-800-273-TALK Referrals for therapists and advice for how to stop self-harm: www.selfinjury.com
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VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Blurred Lines One teen takes on the fine line between bantering and bullying
By Sharmaine Fisher VOX Staff Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit — you choose. — (Proverbs 18:21, The Message)
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e all like to make fun and jokes, especially with our friends and loved ones. But how do you keep the fun times from turning into bad ones? We all have to monitor which words spring forth from our mouths, because while sticks and stones may break your bones — words can still hurt. In the autumn of 2013, there was a scandal in the National Football League, in which Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito was caught having sent a very spiteful-sounding voicemail to his teammate Jonathan Martin. And it’s understandable why, after being called
a “half-n***** piece of s***,” and being threatened to have something done in your mouth, Martin ended up quitting the team on October 1. While explaining himself in a FOX Sports interview after the
The mistake that Incognito and many others have made is that they can get so used to “just playing around,” they lose sight of that line they’re not supposed to cross. But even if the sight of the line is blurry, here are some tips on keeping a safe distance from it.
Bringing up personal issues My friends and I like to tease each other by bringing up some of each other’s most amusing fails — whether it be spilling a drink on your favorite shirt, or answering “Thurgood Marshall” on a test about the U.S. presidents (true story). But some things are too embarrassing for words — say, losing a fight at school, having a failing grade in math class, or being rejected by a crush. These aren’t as superficial as the first two examples I gave, because they are serious issues that can leave someone feeling very upset. And using these personal issues as jokes will NOT make the situation better. Before you even bring it up in a conversation, be positively sure that your partner-inbanter has accepted what happened in his or her own life and is OK with the two of you joking around about it. Of course, the 100 percent foolproof way to avoid hurting someone is to not mention it at all.
If you can’t say a word during a job interview, then you should be careful using it when joking with friends. incident, Incognito said: “Not saying it’s right for when I did it in the voicemail … The fact of the matter remains, though, that the voicemail was left on a private voicemail for my friend, and it was a joke.” But everyone knows that a joke is meant for all parties involved to laugh at — not for any one person to feel left out or for it to be at another person’s expense.
Mentioning physical appearances This is perhaps the most common slip-up. True, looks should never matter, and it’s always the inside that counts. However, it’s not quite that simple. Physical appearances do, in fact, make impressions. And no one wants to look hideous. This is why when someone jokes about, say, crooked teeth, or a mole, or even bulging eyes, feelings are at a risk of
getting hurt. Do not make any kind of joke about someone’s looks, especially if it’s something that that person can’t help. Sometimes there are disorders or diseases (e.g., cancer, Marfan Syndrome, heterochromia) that directly affect a person’s physical appearance. If you like to make fun of people’s clothes, STOP IT. You may or may not know if that person is going through hard times and can’t afford pants without holes, so they have to wear the same clothes just to get by another few months.
The name game A lot of people are caught in this trap like a fly to a bug zapper. But here’s the thing: bad words are still bad words, plain and simple. If you can’t say it during a job interview, then you should be careful using it when joking with friends. Remember, many curse words have been bent and twisted from their original, harmless meanings to have a negative impact. So why would you say “Whaddup, b****?” or “Quit being such an a**” to anybody? No one wants to be called something they’re not — let alone a female dog or a donkey. So if someone still insists on calling your good friend bad names, hope for the best — but expect the worst reaction. I myself have been a victim of bullying, especially when it came to bringing up my appearance or calling me names. It really is the little things you do or say that can turn a good day into a bad one — or vice versa. So, I sincerely hope you take my two cents and stick it in your piggy bank of knowledge. There will be plenty of days you’ll need to invest. Sharmaine, 16, is a junior at Lovejoy High School who thinks the experimental rapper Flying Lotus is amazing.
VoxTeenCommunications.org
BULLYING VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Black Belt in Bully Blocking
By Nancy Ramirez VOX Staff
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our years ago, my family and I were at a church event when Guillermo’s wife approached. She asked us if we could give her husband a blessing. Little did we know, that encounter was going to be the start of a new friendship. We would occasionally see each other at church and then one day he invited us to his
house. The more we visited Guillermo the more we were able to learn about him and from him. When we first met him we were amazed that he could walk with no difficulty and that he knew where everything was. The truth was, if he didn’t tell you that he was blind then you wouldn’t be able to tell. He made us realize that you should never say that you can’t do something, because you can do anything that you set your mind to. Guillermo is a 34-year-old who went blind a couple years ago. He came to the U.S hoping he would find a better life with his family. While here, he had a job accident, and his vision gradually got worse until one day he couldn’t see anymore. When this happened he felt alone, and even though his family was there to support him, he felt like no one understood him. “I felt like nothing was left for me here; I even thought about committing suicide,” Guillermo says. He didn’t want to continue on because he thought his life was pointless, and everyone always
thought about him as less than a human being. With the support of his family, he was able to overcome this huge obstacle and be the person that he is today. His family’s support helped him overcome all the obstacles and judgments to continue with his normal life. A person that has a disability lives a hard life. They have a constant battle that they fight every day, because simple daily tasks can be hard to perform. Everyone always thinks of the bullied victim as being an able-bodied human being, and they are simply bullied because the bully views them as a weak person. Bullying is never ok, but is it worse if it happens to a disabled person? Bullies think that bullying a disabled person is the same as bullying an ablebodied person, but that is not true. Whenever I hear someone make fun of a disabled person it makes me so mad, and I tell them to stop. Disabled people didn’t choose the life they have, and they don’t deserve the comments they get. Many of these people have a low self-esteem because they believe that something is wrong with them. It is not even necessarily them that believe that something is wrong with them, but society has led them to believe that. Our society has made people think that they have to be completely functional in order to be happy and live a successful life. Guillermo says, “After I went blind I literally thought my life was over because I wasn’t able to do the things I used to do.” Since this is what society has made people believe, disabled people believe that there is something seriously wrong with them, and that they don’t fit in. When a bully comes in and bullies them, they believe that everything said about them or to them is true. Guillermo says that everyone is quick to judge him, that just because he can’t see, he is now unable to do anything. They think that he will never be able to live a normal life or perform a job effectively. What people don’t know about Guillermo
PAGE 19 is that he has a black belt in karate, and he is certified to give lessons. Guillermo earned his black belt after he lost his vision. “I am not able to get a job because of my disability. I just want a job so that I can be able to support my family, but the companies don’t take me into consideration because I am blind”, says Guillermo. However, he says some people don’t even notice he lost his vision until he tells them he is unable to see. The truth is that Guillermo is as capable or even more capable as anyone to perform a job. What makes Guillermo special is that he has the will and desire to work. He wants to work and have a job which is a quality that some people lack. Since the day I met Guillermo, I knew that he was a strong human being. He always puts his family first, and the main reason that he desires a job so much is because he wants to give his family a better life. Guillermo’s story shows that people are judged so much by others and are not treated as equals. Despite having a disability, Guillermo was able to continue with his life, which shows that people with disabilities are just as capable of doing something as able-bodied people. Bullies don’t expect people like Guillermo to exist, but there few special people like him that defy society’s expectations. People like Guillermo let us know that we shouldn’t judge someone by how they look or something that they lack because then we will never really know of what they are truly capable. My family and I are thankful that we met him, because he is a true example of someone that is willing to work for what he wants. Guillermo never lets anything get in his way, and to him his vision is just a minor problem. I always think to myself, if Guillermo can do it, then so can everyone else. Nancy, 16, is a junior at Cross Keys High School, who has a huge obsession with minions and claims to be their #1 fan. She provided the photo of Guillermo above.
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VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Good Hair
don’t you want to look pretty? It’s prom,” she asked. I was stunned. I knew that she thought the way I wore my hair was different, but I didn’t know that she found it unattractive. I knew my grandmother wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings on purpose. Sometimes family and friends say things that hurt, but do not realize how those words make you feel. My grandma saw her words as a suggestion to help me, but she didn’t realize her “suggestion” undermined
her words in a negative light. After I did tell her, we had a discussion about why my hair decision was important to me, and why I needed her support. I emphasized to her that just because she didn’t always find my hairstyles appropriate, I liked them, and it made me feel bad when she confessed her disdain. From then, she didn’t have many objections about my hair, and I believe that I influenced her choice of trying more natural styles. Through me, she started
There was one point when she had rocked the fro, but that was back in the day when afros were the style and were everywhere. But she has long since packed up the fro with the bell bottom pants and disco balls. ART BY ARLENA MCCLENTON | VOX STAFF
By Naya James VOX Staff
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oing natural was the best decision I’ve ever made. I initially got a relaxer because I didn’t know what to do with my hair, and I assumed that having one would make my hair easier to deal with, which turned out not to be the case. So, spring of junior year, I decided to transition into my natural texture instead of doing a big chop. I loved my new texture. It was fun playing around with it, to see how it reacted to different products and temperatures. But with the fun came not only the struggle of figuring out what to do with the jungle of new hair, but also handling the backlash from my
grandmother. She wasn’t used to my new hair, and was having a hard time adjusting to it. She was a straight-haired woman and had been for a long time. There was one point when she had rocked the fro, but that was back in the day when afros were the style and were everywhere. But she has long since packed up the fro with the bell bottom pants and disco balls. She was out of touch with au natural, and she wasn’t shy about letting me know. For prom, I decided to wear my hair in a natural style instead of a straight style because I was afraid of heat damage. I donned a really big afro puff. I thought it looked really cool. I looked like a disco queen! When my grandma saw, she wasn’t impressed. “That will look nice, but
my purpose in going natural. I wanted to learn to love the hair I was born with, instead of changing it because of what others thought. Judgments hurt more from people you are close to because when you trust them, you expose yourself; you allow them to have a little piece of you. I was vulnerable because this was all so new to me. I wasn’t confident in my decision yet, so the discouraging words really got to me, so much so that I thought about going back to relaxers just to make her happy. It wasn’t about looking bad; it was about feeling beautiful, and her comments about my natural hair did not make me feel beautiful. It’s not always easy telling your family that they are hurting your feelings, and if you are unsure of how to approach letting them know without seeming too defensive, here are some tips:
Let them know how you feel Though this seems obvious, I didn’t originally want to tell my grandma about how she was making me feel. I was afraid that she would feel hurt that I was taking
to realize that more people these days were starting to transition, which gave her the courage to join the natural hair movement.
Have more confidence Confidence is a characteristic that takes time to acquire, but once you have it, it can be a useful tool in forming a healthy ego. The more self-assured you are, the less criticisms will affect you.
Try not to take their opinions to heart Having more confidence goes hand in hand with letting some stuff go. Sometimes even when we do express our feelings to our family, they don’t understand our perspective. When that happens, sometimes you just have to brush off what they are saying, and realize that you and your family are not going to agree on everything. Naya, 17, is a senior at DeKalb School of the Arts who wishes everyone loved their hair texture as much as she loves hers.
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BULLYING VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
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Different Isn’t Bad By Caro Addams VOX Staff
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ast year a friend of mine came to me and another friend, asking for advice. I could tell something was bothering her by the way she was speaking to us. Her voice was in a different tone; she’s usually very happy and energetic. She told us that some kids in our school had bullied her. Lily (not her real name) had volunteered to wear the school’s mascot costume for a school event. The costume made it hard for her to move around. Players from a team at my school were messing with her while she had the costume on, and they pushed her around. It left her upset and a little scared. Since Lily is just a freshman and we’re seniors, she wanted to know what to do if it happened again. My school, the Howard School, is for students who have different styles of learning. Unfortunately, students at my school are bullied because we are different than students at other schools.
Bullying Resources Pacer Center’s Teens Against Bullying PacerTeensAgainstBullying.org Teens Against Bullying is a website created by and for other teens. The website provides information on bullying including how to prevent
But bullying doesn't just happen at my school; it happens everywhere. According to stopbullying.gov, 3.2 million kids and teens are bullied per year. One-seventh of students in grades K-12 are either bullies or have been bullied, while 56 percent have witnessed some type of bullying at school. Kids who are bullied often feel like they are different, unpopular and alone. Those who are bullied may have a hard time standing up for themselves. They think the people who bullied them are more powerful. Bullying can make the victim feel many different moods, have problems in school, or cause him or her to bully others. Some Howard students feel like, because we are different, we have been bullied at other schools before coming to Howard. Other classmates have shared stories about being bullied, too. One girl was bullied because her eyebrows are different. She said it ended within a few weeks, but she still remembers it
it and statistics about how often it occurs. Teens provide stories and other resources on bullying; anyone is welcome to submit a story and contribute to the site. The Ophelia Project OpheliaProject.org “Our mission is to empower all members of a community to recognize and
ART BY DEJA BROWN | VOX STAFF
and is hurt by it. My school tries hard to prevent bullying from happening; we have frequent talks about it. Our teachers tell us how to help each other out if we are bullied and how to report it to someone. One way they do that is they set up events during our homeroom times for antibullying talks. The advice we gave Lily? First, try and ignore it, because someone else’s words don’t matter. But if it gets worse, tell someone. We told her there is nothing wrong with being different. Being different makes us who we are. If we were all the same, the world wouldn't be very
address relational aggression through systemic change in the social culture.” This website has free downloadable curriculums on relational aggression and bullying as well as resources and information on bullying available for people who want to get involved or learn more about it.
interesting. For Lily, within a few days, the bullying stopped.
My advice to teens who have been bullied is to stand up for yourself and, don't be afraid to tell someone. Tell someone you really trust, and they will help you through it. Also, never give up on yourself even if you are bullied. Remind yourself of this: I’m fine just the way I am. Caro, 18, is a senior at the Howard School who wants to go to Ireland to meet Fra Fee.
ADL (Anti-Defamation League) No Place for Hate Atlanta.adl.org or (404) 262-3470 The No Place for Hate Initiative works to rid schools of hatred, bigotry and discrimination. The website contains information on different events that anyone can attend as well as webinars for anyone looking to get involved in preventing bullying.
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VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Bullying Bytes
How schools are struggling to adapt prevention techniques as bullying shifts to the virtual world By Ilana Ander VOX Staff
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ith the emergence of the Internet and the rapid expansion of social media, teens no longer have to rely on face-to-face conversations. Teens increasingly share their feelings in 140 characters on Twitter, post their favorite selfies on Instagram, and judge their popularity by how many friends they have on Facebook. Although these social networks have many positive attributes, they also have the power to ruin teens’ lives. These websites, along with the availability of anonymous texting, email and anonymous ask-and-answer apps like ask.fm, have provided the perfect breeding ground for a new type of bully: the cyberbully. The transition from human to virtual contact is followed by a change in bullying tactics. The traditional lunch-time bullies retreat as teens take to their cellphones, smartphones and laptops to inflict pain on others. Schools that developed bullying prevention programs for the traditional hallways and playground bullying must now adapt and develop new programs for this new generation.
Why the change? Over the past decade, the influence of the Internet in teen’s everyday lives has increased significantly, providing a new and popular platform for bullies.
Cyberbullying allows the bully to harass behind the scenes with no face-to-face contact and lets them remain anonymous if they so choose. Online bullying is completely unsupervised, unlike traditional school bullying, which takes place in an environment surrounded by teachers, counselors and administrators. At home, if there is the threat of parent or even police intervention, one click of a button will erase a mean post, comment or message. But it is not gone forever. This evidence can be recovered with advanced forensic technology that police and investigators have access to. Bullies are much more comfortable posting a rude comment from the laptop in their bedroom than saying it to the victim’s face. The rapid dissemination of these electronic-based comments and pictures can be more hurtful to the victim, due to the Internet’s growing presence in almost every aspect of a teen’s life. Today, more than 90 percent of teenagers have used social media, according to a 2012 study by the independent nonprofit Common Sense Media.
the bully and the bully’s parents, putting an end to her pain. Despite the school’s extensive anti-bullying program starting in kindergarten, Maddie said the school’s principal quickly withdrew and refused to help. “It seemed like she did not know how to deal with the situation,” Maddie explains. “The middle school knew very well how to prevent face-to-face bullying, but did not know how when it came to online bullying.” Maddie is not alone. Students across Atlanta are getting bullied and have trouble going to school to get the help they need. Although Maddie was failed by her school, most schools are now implementing programs to ensure that situations like this don’t happen. As our world becomes more and more modernized, it is crucial to understand why teens’ adult role models and leaders are so important in the prevention of cyberbullying.
How are schools adjusting? Who is in need? Maddie, a suburban Atlanta teen, faced a cyberbully as an eighth grader. After repeatedly receiving Facebook messages calling her a “slut” and telling her she had no friends, she decided it was time to reach out to her school’s principal. Although going to an adult with her problem was very difficult, Maddie hoped a discussion would be started with
As bullying shifts behind the screen, schools are having a harder time adjusting their prevention and intervention methods against it. Certain anti-bullying techniques and lessons that had worked in the past are not as applicable in the cyber environment. The Paideia School, a local Atlanta private school, has faced this challenge. Thrower Starr, the counselor at Paideia for the past
ART BY SHARMAINE FISHER | VOX STAFF
35 years, says he was shocked when he first heard about cyberbullying cases. “Things just started to pop up,” he explains. “People get unharnessed on the Internet. The distance allows for it, and it is amplified through social media.” When asked about how he tries to prevent it, Starr bluntly said it is impossible, but that does not mean schools should not try. Although the school itself has experienced very few issues with cyberbullying, it definitely does not go unnoticed. Starr and his colleagues constantly teach respect as a community value and model respectful behavior to students and possible bullies. The school also educates teachers on social media and the Internet as a whole through many beneficial workshops. By comparison, Decatur High School is taking advantage of resources available by using Internet safety lesson plans available from Common Sense Media and Netsmartz. They are also working with
BYTES continues on page 23
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BULLYING VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
The Other Side: Social Networking and the Positive Impact on Bullying “She’s an [sic] useless, conniving little slut who is so unwanted that she would be better of [sic] dead.” This is just one comment written on an anonymous Facebook hate page targeting a teen. When not used with proper caution, the actions teenagers take on social network sites can lead to depression or even suicide. But with all this negativity surrounding social networking, we tend to overlook the more positive impact it can have on teens’ self-esteem. A like on a profile picture boosts an individual’s self-confidence and makes a teen feel more reassured about their physical appearance. A favorite or a
BYTES continued from page 22 Georgia State University by using surveys to generate helpful data on bullying at their school through social media. It is clear that this school has worked very hard to ensure that their students receive education on how to properly use the Internet and how to ask for help when needed.
What has been done, and what needs to be done? Schools constantly work hard to ensure that their students are receiving the best possible education in subjects like math, literature or science. But what about lessons in life? It is important for schools to value the Internet as it puts the world at their students’ fingertips and is a substantial presence in teens’ lives. As noted, bullying has paralleled the movement of schools’ educational tools to the Internet. In order to address these changes, there are many educational resources available through national nonprofit organizations, local
retweet can make someone feel that his or her small expression was relatable or humorous. On a grander scale, entire Facebook pages have been developed in an effort to better the self-esteem of metro Atlanta teens: compliment pages. Though the exact origin of the pages remains unknown, Facebook compliment pages have become a fad, winning the approval of student bodies and school administrations, especially in the Atlanta area. Though only active for a few months, the Woodward Academy Compliments page has made a vast impact in my school community, achieving a popularity of
police departments and community centers. Many schools are already taking advantage of these. They hope to learn ways to prevent cyberbullying, educate teens and deal with it when it does occur. In the news, we often see stories about children who hurt themselves after being cyberbullied, and it seems it was because they had nowhere to turn for help. To any teen out there that is being bullied, schools across Atlanta are working extremely hard to ensure that their students remain safe and secure while exploring and using the Internet. Schools and their counselors are educating themselves and implementing these new programs to address the growing problem. They understand that keeping teenagers safe as they use the Internet in their everyday lives will keep them happy. And happy teens make for happy learners. Ilana, 17, is a junior at the Paideia School, who is an avid knitter and also enjoys photography.
2,012 friends. Basically, a compliment page is an anonymous Facebook page created with the objective of posting anonymous compliments submitted via direct message onto the compliment page’s wall for everybody to see. The goal is to spread positive vibes and love throughout the community. Woodward Academy, along with several other schools in the metro-Atlanta area including North Atlanta High School, Pace Academy, The Westminster Schools, The Paideia School, Marist School and The Lovett School were all lucky enough to have a team of students, who still remain anonymous today, put their efforts and time into making a compliments page. Woodward Academy student Nava Almafard recently saw this message on the Woodward Compliments page: “Nava Almafard is one of the most genuinely nice person [sic] I know. She is diverse, smart, and gorgeous and always has a
Asking About Ask.fm Teens should carefully weigh their options before downloading the ask. fm smartphone app. The popular social media site gives people the opportunity to ask and answer questions while remaining anonymous. This site is linked to Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. Users can invite their friends and followers to ask them questions by posting links on their timelines or Twitter feeds and also share questions or responses on a user's ask.fm profile on Facebook. On its website, ask.fm has already generated a list of questions, just in case people run out of questions to ask. However, some ask.fm users experience cyberbullying. According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, cyberbullying is “the electronic posting of mean-spirited messages about a person (as a student) often done anonymously.” Since the key to ask.fm’s success is its anonymity feature, the social media site has made it a lot easier for bullies to harass. Basically,
PAGE 23 happy attitude. She is always there for you and stands for what’s right.” Later Nava shared with me, “I felt blessed and loved. I was amazed to see that I touched someone enough for them to take the time to compliment me in writing, and grateful that people see and appreciate my efforts.” Woodward student Sameer Abassi had a similar reaction after reading a post about him on the page. He told me, “It made me feel loved and welcomed into the always supportive Woodward community.” Perhaps the anonymity of the whole process is what makes the compliments so meaningful. Positive pages demonstrate that social media use amongst teenagers does not always have a negative impact. In fact, it opens up the road to more possibilities of constructive social media use.
— By Sachin Swami / VOX Staff
it’s opened up the door for haters to say things to people online that they wouldn't say to their face. I’ve seen questions on my timeline like, “Did you have sex with Joe?”, “Why are you so ugly?” and “I heard you suck. Is it true?” The social media site has recently updated the app to include a block/ report option. Also, there’s an option to show who asked the question. Parents and teens should discuss the use of ask. fm. If you’re not older than 13, you are not allowed to create an account, according to the site. Even though the Terms of Use page states: “You cannot post anything that is mean, bullying someone, or might harass, scare or upset someone,” some users are not following the rules. Some users post anything, if they feel like saying it. The Terms of Use also states that, “When you post or upload anything on ask.fm, it can be seen or accessed by the general public (not just registered members on ask.fm). If you don’t want something to be seen by anyone else, then you shouldn’t post it on ask.fm.”
— By Daysha Corzine / VOX Staff
BULLYING
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VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
The Bullies and Me Bystander By Alexes Harris
By Danielle Patrick
VOX Staff
VOX Staff
I was the new girl. Not only was I the new girl but I was also a cry baby. Once they found that out? I was out Before I even got in. I was picked on, laughed at, looked down on, and being small and fragile didn’t help either. The pain I felt. The tears I cried. It all lasted for a year. That’s when it all changed. I wiped away the tears, put a smile on my face, and happily sought my revenge on all of them. There I was. I was average height and a third grader beating up eighth grade boys. They couldn’t hit me back, so I used that as an advantage. I punched them. Kicked them. Slapped them. Sharpened my nails and dug them into their skin. Who would’ve thought that after the pain, tears, and beatings, we could all become close friends? I demanded my respect and I got it. Things were finally looking up for me. I was no longer a cry baby but independent. I no longer allowed people to walk over me but instead, I stood up for myself. If it’s one thing I want my ex-bullies to know, it’s this: Thank you for making me stronger. I was unleashing built up anger. I was making them feel how I felt. By the sound of their moans and Groans, I did my job.
Best friends ‘til the end you’d always say Close like kin, we would never part ways. I always had your back and I assumed you had mine. When you got hurt I was the one who brushed you off And told you it was going to be fine. I never asked you for anything, Well, except for that one thing. How could you forget best friend? You know, “best friends ‘til the end.” Let me jog your memory, “HELLPPPPPPP!” remember that? That was me getting several Blows to the eyes ‘Til I couldn’t see Screaming for help to anyone Who would lend a hand. But I look up to see their bodies In a frozen state And the only hands I see Were the ones coming towards my face. Standing there as if they didn’t know What was going on. You never spoke up and You know they were doing wrong. I expected that from them, But not from you. Laughing and giggling along with them Like you thought it was cool. All I wanted from you Was to be a true friend. But from the looks of things We’ve reached our end.
Ignore It By Alyssa Harris VOX Staff Ignore it Ignore it
Ignore it Ignore the hate slipping from their mouths like slime Ignore the putrid scent of their words as it clings to your skin Try and ignore the disgusted faces of those who shun you Try and make them understand this misunderstanding “no it is their smell not mine.” Although, the people do not listen but judge, that is human nature Am I wrong? As you walk through the white walls feeling as if you were in an asylum going insane You walk alone unashamed of who you are, or that’s what you say You let the hate and envy bounce off your shoulder, but your shoulder is getting chipped away And those chips are shredding you from the inside out but still you walk on without the slightest limp in your gait People say “it’ll get better” but that’s hard to believe when you’re stuck in a ten foot hole and you’re only three feet of length So we ignore it Ignore it Ignore it That is human nature Am I wrong?
And every time he walks outside the Comfort of his room He is reminded of the army and How only the strong survive But what if he is weak Should he have to suffer What if he is scared Should he have to hide What if he is different Should he have to change If only he could trade places with those Who are always watching Would they then understand Instead of trampling on his back with the Knife still in it No Bullying is what he reads It’ll get better is what he hears But he knows deep down that nothing Will change Until the ones who are always watching Are walking by his side Until the knife isn’t in his back, but in His front Since that’s where true friends stab you According to Oscar Wilde Until the bullies realize that the victims Are people too And until everyone realizes that we all Have the same blood running through Our veins A brain covered by a skull And a voice that needs to be heard.
For Those Who Are Untitled Always Watching
By Jalil Shareef VOX Staff
By Rashah Neason VOX Staff His tears trickle down his face like rain Against a window on a stormy night He tries to scream out the pain inside But his voice goes unheard Everyone around him is extinct Because he feels so alone
To my little sister: Constantly you cry And try to cover it up with new makeup You bought. Constantly your “cats” scratch your arm. Leaving marks you try to hide. Constantly you avoid me, Telling me tale after tale, And making up lie after lie To cover your tracks.
BULLYING
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Constantly you let yourself get covered By the words of others. Constantly you dwell on the words that Hurt instead of the ones that help. Constantly they aim their hate at YOU. Constantly you take hit after hit, And you follow suit and aim at yourself. Constantly I wish I could help you more. Constantly I wish I had a genie to give Me 3 wishes that I would waste on you. Constantly I defend you, And pick you up when you fall. And constantly, I would jump in the front lines and take The hits with you. Then suddenly, Your cats became less violent. Your makeup was no longer new. You would call me and talk, And your tales became funny and lively Stories. And you had no tracks. It became a path. A path of power, A path that’s end wasn’t quite seen, But, It held hope like the yellow brick road. You became covered again, But by love, And words that were more powerful than The ones before. And when they aim at you, A bullet proof vest stood in their way. And your smile would shine as if it was a Star that burned forever. But still, I’m standing in the front lines. Still there. And when you feel as if you will fall Again, I’m here. So dear little sister of mine. I just wanted to actually say the words This time. I love you.
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VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Take Our Advice!
Need Advice? Send the VOX Genie a question to editor@VoxTeenCommunications.org, and see if YOUR question is the next one in the newspaper!
Dear VOX Genie,
Dear Nervous Nerd,
Throughout the years, I’ve experienced bullying here and there but recently, I have been getting cyberbullied on Twitter. It started as backlash from my classmates about one of my tweets. He started using vulgar language and threatening me. He goes to my school, and I've been afraid to go to school. What should I do? Sincerely, Nervous Nerd
Well, first of all, you are not alone in this situation; many other teens have been cyberbullied, and they, too, are afraid to speak up. I commend you for speaking up! You have the right to post whatever you like on your page, as long as it is not offensive, demeaning or threatening. It is your right to say what you want: freedom of speech! (But the VOX Genie advises that teens read Twitter’s Basic Terms of Use before you go and say just anything!)
I HEART ATL! WRITE AN ORIGINAL ESSAY OR POEM, OR CREATE A PIECE OF ART OR A PHOTO ESSAY, THAT DESCRIBES WHAT YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT ATLANTA. ESSAYS SHOULD BE 500-1000 WORDS IN LENGTH. PHOTO ESSAYS SHOULD CONTAIN 5-8 ORIGINAL PHOTOS. E-mail your entry to editor@VOXTeenCommunications.org or mail it to: VOX Teen Communications, 229 Peachtree St. NE, Suite 725, Atlanta, GA 30303 Please include the following information with your entry.
When you start to feel threatened or uncomfortable online, the first thing you can do is log out of your account! You have the power to turn off your technology. The next thing you can do is try to get your mind off the situation and focus on something positive! Make sure you share this information with your parents, counselors or an adult you trust. Remember, you can stay anonymous when reporting bullying online! Do not be afraid of cyberbullies, because every bully is a coward. Sincerely, VOX Genie
*
Deadline EXTENDED: MARCH 25, 2014! First Prize: $100 Cash Second Prize: $50 Cash Apply Now!
NAME _____________________________________________ ADDRESS __________________________________________ ADDRESS 2 ________________________________________ CITY _________________________ ZIP __________________ SCHOOL ___________________________________________ PHONE ________________________________ AGE _______ E-MAIL _____________________________________________
We must receive your entries before the deadline. You must be between 13-19 and living in the metro Atlanta area to enter. All entries become property of VOX Teen Communications. The best submissions will be published in VOX.
BULLYING PAGE 26
VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
In our spring edition contest, teens were invited to submit letters to or from a bully. VOX received more than 30 letters from teens all over the metro Atlanta area. Seven letters are published here, including the winners and our favorite honorable mentions. Check out the rest of the entries on the VOX website starting mid-March.
FIRST PLACE: COREY BOOKER Dear Bully, At first glance I think, “Are you so coldhearted that you have nothing better to do than bully me?” or “Are you so bored that you find satisfaction from my pain?” or even “Is your schedule so free that you have the time to make my life torture?” At first, I didn’t understand why you do what you do. We are all human beings, and the Constitution states that we are equal. So why do you treat me as if I am not? As I mature, I find myself looking at the different perspectives of different life situations, including bullying. I forgive you. Yes, it wasn’t a typo, I really do forgive you. I’ve been told that you are a product of your environment. I’ve also been told that if you want to know who you are, look at your friends. You don’t always have to be a product of
your environment. I, of all people know this. I grew up in a primarily AfricanAmerican neighborhood where the first language is not English; it’s Ebonics. I pride myself on speaking proper American Standard English and watching my grammar. I forgive you because I don’t know who you are. I don’t know your struggles. I don’t know what you have been through. You and I are alike; we are both looking for our places in the world. I forgive you because you haven’t found the right outlet for anger. For all I know, your parents could be getting a divorce, or your dad has just gotten the final notice because he can’t pay the rent. You have no choice but to be a product of your environment, and I forgive you for that. For all I know, you may not have a stable home, or your mom is in an abusive relationship. You may only have the meals that are provided at school and spend the weekends scavenging for scraps. I want you to know that it’s not
your fault. It’s not your fault that you have all this built up anger and no one to teach you how to express it. You have been motivated by your peers to express this anger in such a way that’s disgraceful. You’ve been confined and subjected to make people feel what you feel on a regular basis, and it takes away some of the stress. So yes, I forgive you. I forgive you because you are not to blame for society’s mistakes. It’s society’s responsibility to facilitate the minds of the youth and to teach not just respect to others, but respect to ourselves. Yours Truly, Corey Booker — Corey Booker, North Atlanta High School
SECOND PLACE Letter to my sister’s bully, The words said to my sister destroyed her and still taunt her to this day. I saw her come home from school and cry
herself to sleep. I witnessed my parents stress themselves, making sure she ate a meal. I saw my beautiful sister of 13 years starve herself because you called her “fat.” I would cry with her when I saw her come out of the restroom after throwing up. I want you to know she has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. I want you to know she will remember everything you said to her for the rest of her life. I want you to know that not only did you hurt her, but you hurt my family and myself as well. — Anonymous, Atlanta-area school
THIRD PLACE Letter to my bully: I have a question: Is it worth it? The power, the disrespect, making me feel worthless? And the mean names. Do you feel better about yourself? The rumors and lying did hurt at one point, but now I am better. The things you did brought me close to my death, but I survived. When I used to close my eyes,
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BULLYING So, why did you hurt me? I am going to have this question forever. To those who have been bullied and told “You’re not good enough,” that is not the truth. We are worth it. I know I should forgive you and move on. But something in me can’t forgive you. I am still here, though. I won’t leave. I love that you are working on yourself. But the problems I have are distrust, always loving being victim, thinking I can’t do anything right. I feel like freshman year was a jail I couldn’t escape from. I had a gun to my head. I lost some of my innocence because of you. — Emma Gifford, The Howard School
HONORABLE MENTION
At first glance I think, “Are you so coldhearted that, you have nothing better to do than bully me?” or “Are you so bored, that you find satisfaction from my pain?” or even “Is your schedule so free, that you have the time to make my life torture?” all I could see was my tombstone. It would say: “She took her life because she couldn’t take it, all because of a bully.” Would you have been able to handle that? You would have been the murderer of my self-esteem, my heart, my soul. Is it funny now? Do you want to laugh? Bullying on the computer made you the king, didn’t it? Everyone went along with it, only out of fear. Yes, fear. The fear of you destroying their lives. I want you to remember the feeling of reading this. That pain you feel in your chest for teasing that autistic boy. For teasing that pretty girl with Down syndrome. Even the excitement you get
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VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
for teasing me, the girl with ADHD. Love and remember, The Bullied — Ariel Walker, The Howard School HONORABLE MENTION Dear Bully, I don’t understand why you picked on me. Why did you hurt me? When you bullied me I felt like a piece of me died. I lost respect for you. I can’t see myself as beautiful anymore. You always told me I was ugly, and I had no game. After you, I lost my lust for life. Now I am trying to find myself again.
Dear Bully, I have this feeling deep in my gut I’ve been holding inside for a long time. I need to let you know you hurt my feelings to the core. We haven’t seen eye to eye since I was 12 years old. I thought you were going to be my idol, someone to look up to, not someone who puts fear into my heart. Ever since my dad died in 2009, you’ve had a negative impact on my life. I try to distance myself and ignore the stress and the hurt you’ve caused, but I still can’t seem to let things go. Can you please tell me what I’ve done to cause such anger and hate toward me? You are my mom. I thought we were supposed to have a mother/daughter bond. If you ever wonder why I never respond to any of your calls and texts, it’s because of the way you speak to me. Your tone of voice makes me cry. There’s not a day or night that goes by when I don’t wish that you showed me love or affection. I want you to know that although we may never be on the same page, your hate will never define me as the young beautiful woman I’m growing up to be. — Anonymous, Atlanta-area school
HONORABLE MENTION It takes a lot of courage to stand up to bullying, but it takes even more when that bully is yourself. Before I was even a toddler, my father passed away. I was too young to understand the concept of “leaving with the angels” as my mother explained it. My mom was trying to cope with the sudden loss and the recent birth of my younger sister. I thought dad left because he didn’t like us anymore. The rest is a blur. I went to school and harassed the other children by beating them up, stealing and even biting them. I guess I thought my dad would show up and punish me, but of course, that never happened. I kept bullying others. Maybe I thought I had something to do with him leaving? I had a bad habit of solving problems with my fists. — Anonymous, Atlanta-area school HONORABLE MENTION Dear Bully, I don’t like what you are doing to me. It makes me sad and makes me want to die. You bully me and think it is funny, but it is not. The name calling, pushing me down the stairs, everything you’ve done to me over the past three years; it has to stop. I am just a normal kid. I maybe look different and talk different but that doesn’t mean you can bully me. I go home, and I’m too afraid to tell my mom about my day. I come to school thinking I’ll get treated with respect and hopefully, one day I will. I will be the person who is the most popular. I will be the star captain on the sports team. I want to be treated with respect and be happy all the time, but it all starts with you. It has to stop. — Anonymous, Atlanta-area high school Read more letters to a bully starting in mid-March on the VOX website: VoxTeenCommunications.org. Art above by Deja Brown, VOX Staff.
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VoxTeenCommunications.org VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
We Are By D. Scott Jackson Special to VOX
COMIC BY DAWIT TRENCH | VOX STAFF
It’s a part of me It’s a part of her We can’t change Or turn back the clock Just love And live And die When you see us Do you see us For who we are? Or do you see Demons from the abyss? We can’t change Turn back the clock Tick tock Our time has come We are Who we are We are These that love Those who die And those who fight Tick tock Are we knockin’ on Hell’s door Or Heaven’s gate? The hate that burns The pain stings Secrets stain This heart of mine The color black No transgressions Does this heart stain Black as night Beneath the sun Or in the night Secrets Does this heart stain Black as night ‘Neath the sun And in the night Tick tock This heart that bleeds This man who cries From the pain
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And the hate That plagues us all Here now today Tick tock Our time has come Tick tock The flames all burn Our world asunder Under this moonlit sky
85 Lies … 85 Times By Dallas Gordon VOX Staff I fell for every single tear I fell for every single lie Every single time you told me I was the only one, So I wouldn’t even think To pry Fallen with a broken heart, Shattered into thousands of tiny Pieces,
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VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Shaken by your twisted Love lies and even Slightly beaten. The charm you had Just put me right into place, Eighty-five times You spoke to me With edge and grace But your phony words And that oh-so-salty slob. Set me on edge However, There’s no going back So I’ll move forward, Instead. Though I still root for you And love you day by day I choose to live my life with classical Grace Without you is honestly a More humane race. Thinking of those kind words You often said to my face Couldn’t even Break a smile anymore Because you taught me: Learning to love
Always brings a heartbreak.
Rebirth By Christian Stallworth
The story of his life, He put “Peace” as the header.
Confusion By Dallas Gordon
VOX Staff
VOX Staff 7 to 11. He wished he were in Heaven. Blade to his arm, He wished they put up their arms. Size mattered, dialect mattered, And fashion mattered. He looked calm but that’s because No one heard the patter Of his heart when they came around. He would scream, but The one who heard the sound Stomped him into the ground. Change didn’t work; It just made him sad inside. All the bullies ever did Is make him the opposite of high. They judged his outsides And inside too. They bruised his skin And made his inside blue. He hated himself, But soon he hated the help. Because he didn’t want pity, So he just tightened his belt. He learned to love himself, See what they never did. He felt sorry for them, Which is something he never did. Senior year was different, His qualities admired. They tried to be his friend And their hating did expire. In the end, he was hired As an example of better.
I feel confused Like what should I do I’m sick of your games And don’t even want anything to do with You My emotion: hurt Hurt has just let me see Your love is more like lust And just isn’t meant to be It’s devastating Letting you go But honestly it’s better you know I’m not just a side piece In fact, I will never mean to be But it’s alright I won’t tell your “best friend” When I leave See I’ll cry for a few days But the pain won’t last forever, Trust another will come and maybe They’ll stay forever And let’s not ever act like you won’t Call again But the difference is when you do I won’t answer the phone Because we won’t be friends. So SAYONARA TO YOU, Goodbye my lost old friend I’ll send an evite For the wedding… Hope you will attend!
Are You an Artist or Poet?
Submit your original poetry and artwork for The Wall Mail: 229 Peachtree St. NE, Suite 725 Atlanta, GA 30303 Email: Editor@VoxTeenCommunications.org Don’t forget to include your name, age, grade and school. Plus, read more poems on the VOX e-wall (VoxTeenCommunications.org) ART BY DEJA BROWN | VOX STAFF
SUMMER 2014
Scholarship Deadline Extended: March 15, 2014! At VOX Media Cafe, teens will use 3 weeks to:
+ EXPLORE DOWNTOWN ATLANTA + PUBLISH MULTIMEDIA PROJECTS + MEET DIVERSE TEENS + WORK CLOSELY WITH MEDIA PROFESSIONALS
More information, including schedule, cost, application and scholarship information, at: VoxTeenCommunications.org/MediaCafe/Schedule.aspx ...or call 404.614.0040 for more information
VoxTeenCommunications.org Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Your sweetness and earnest powers will put people in the mood to be around you more often this month. Aries (March 21 - April 19) This next month will be greater for you because you will learn to control your temper more, allowing it to be a prosperous period of time. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Your determination will get you through all obstacles that you face this month; nothing and nobody will stand in your way. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) After being so tense, you are ready to
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HOROSCOPES VOX: THE VOICE OF OUR GENERATION | SPRING 2014
Horoscopes get back out of your bubble and back into your adventurous nature; you’re finally ready to mingle again so go on and get out there! Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Your caring nature will cause people to find and depend on you. Do not turn them away. You might need them one day. Leo (July 23 - August 22) This month you will become more irritable, because of everything around you. You might have to start a project to keep you busy.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Now you are looking for a change, so you are going to try to turn your dreams into a reality. Start making long term decisions to help you through this. Libra (September – October 23) You will feel a lack of excitement, but do not allow that to get in the way of getting out and talking to others. Scorpio (October 24 – November 22) You will have great results as you are trying to better yourself, so keep it up!
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Sagittarius (November 23 – December 22) You are finally able to stop and smell the roses, making this a more peaceful month than the ones before; try to make few mistakes, or you will end up in a rut. Capricorn (December 23 - January 19) You will have frustration and emotional times during this month, but do not let that get you down, for this will be over soon! Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Keep away from becoming selfish; one day you will want something back, so be careful with your decisions. — By Tyler Sutton / VOX Staff ART BY MANUEL PORTILLO | VOX STAFF
Superhero ($50,000 - $69,999) Fulton County Housing and Human Services Department: Office of Children and Youth Heroes ($25,000 - $49,999) United Way of Greater Atlanta Zeist Foundation Champions ($10,000 - $24,999) The Atlanta Foundation The Atlanta Women’s Foundation The Harland Foundation Nordson Corporate Foundation The Rich Foundation
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