`2. My Name
My name is Kathleen Mary Carroll Fiozzo. This is not a name I would have chosen for myself. My mother named me after my Aunt Kathy because I think Aunt Kathy was the first person to go visit my mother in the hospital when I was born. I think my mom was guilted into it. I don’t think my mom like my Aunt Kathy particularly. She didn’t really like the name Kathy either. She has never really learned how to spell it. She spelled my name incorrectly throughout my entire life. I think that’s disrespectful. My mom also calls me every name but my own. So my name has never really been valuable to me. I never liked it. I didn’t like the alliteration growing up, “Kathy Carroll.” I didn’t like the “leen” part of my name. I found it ironic because I have never been lean. It was always a kind of cruel joke. At this point, I don’t even use my first name at all. Once I started college I dropped my name entirely. I have been Lounge, Rabbit, Darling, Miss Carroll, Blondie, Wifey, Momma, Mom, Fiozzo, or nothing. Mostly I think of myself as nothing. I think of my name as a hand me down coat that I dislikes. I have to wear it because it’s cold out and that’s all I’ve got. But I don’t like it.