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The Nanny My Fair Nanny


copyright


Written by Andy Goodman Executive Producers Robert Sternin & Prudence Fraser Directed by Lee Shallat REVISED FIRST DRAFT 10/10/93


Table of Contents

Act 1 Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4

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1 5 6 8

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Act 2 Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6


CAST

FRAN FINE - FRAN DRESCHER MAXWELL SHEFFIELD - CHARLES SHAUGHNESSY NILES - DANIEL DAVIS C.C. BABCOCK - LAUREN LANE MAGGIE SHEFFIELD - NICHOLLE TOM BRIGHTON SHEFFIELD - BENJAMIN SALISBURY GRACE SHEFFIELD - MADELINE ZIMA MAUREEN McFADDEN - TBA CINDY McFADDEN - TBA GYPSY - TBA *This script is a combination of earlier drafts. McFadden was changed to Wentworth by the final script draft.


COLD OPENING INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY MAXWELL AND BRIGHTON COME DOWNSTAIRS WITH BASEBALL GEAR FRAN: Okay, boys. Here you go. These are your gloves. This is the ball. These are the rules… you throw the ball and you catch it. Reverse and repeat . THEY STARE AT HER

Ah , you’ll watch the other fathers and sons. You’ll pick it up.

FRAN: (CONT.)

(TO MAXWELL) Where’s your cap?

MAXWELL: (TAKING CAP FROM BACK POCKET) I’m not really a cap person. FRAN: Come on, you’ll look adorable. MAXWELL: My life’s ambition. HE PUTS THE CAP ON WITH BRIM FORWARD. FRAN TURNS IT. FRAN: Try to be cool. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER. BRIGHTON: We cool. FRAN: (CALLING) Come on, Gracie, we’re going to the park. GRACE ENTERS CARRYING A KITE.


GRACE: I’m a little anxious about this whole kite thing. FRAN: Honey, it’ll be fine. GRACE: What if I let go of the string and lose it? I’m not good with separation. FRAN: A kite is like a really cute guy. You gotta give him some slack,let him go where he wants, feel like he’s free. Then at the end of the day, you’ll reel him in and put him away ‘til you want to use him again. FADE OUT. INT. DINING ROOM - MORNING FRAN AND THE FAMILY ARE HAVING BREAKFAST. MAXWELL’S FACE IS BURIED IN HIS VARIETY. FRAN: Last question: the capitol of Peru is? GRACE: (QUICKLY) Lima. FRAN: (CHECKING THE ANSWER) Very good. (TO BRIGHTON) If she can fit in your book bag, you might actually pass this test. BRIGHTON: I don’t need to be a genius. I’m gonna be a producer like Dad. MAXWELL LOWERS THE PAPER AND GLARES AT BRIGHTON. BRIGHTON: (LOOKING AROUND) Who said that?


C.C. ENTERS C.C.: Morning, everyone. I have the fabulous news! NILES: They’ve selected a dilettante for the biosphere. C.C.: I was at Elizabeth Arden, having a facial, manicure and herbal wrap FRAN: You know, Earl Sheib could do the whole job for eighty-nine ninety five . Body work included. C.C. GIVES HER A LOOK. C.C.: Why do I come here? BRIGHTON: That’s what we were wondering. MAXWELL: It’s a tough room, C.C. Please go on. C.C.: And who do you think was under the next turban? GRACE: Aladdin? FRAN: Yassir Arafat? MAXWELL: That’s not a turban, it’s a burnoose. FRAN: Well, whatever it is, he could use a facial… or better yet, a chemical peel . C.C.: Nanny Fine FRAN: Wha..? We’re giving him the Gaza Strip, would it kill him to take a shave and put on a little Paco Rabanne. C.C.: Does the name Maureen Wentworth ring a bell?


MAXWELL: Not even a jingle. C.C.: She invested fifty thousand dollars in our last production. MAXWELL: Ah, yes. How is the dear lady. I’ve missed her so… FRAN: Fifty thousand dollars for a lousy play? (THEN, REALIZING) Which I found delightful, I know I’m still humming the tunes. C.C.: That’s the kind of change she finds in her couch. These are the Wentworths. They came over on the Mayflower. FRAN: That whole voyage is a mystery to me. How did they know what to pack? I mean, you’re going to a new world. Is it hot… cold… rainy? There’s no brochures… MAXWELL: They were Pilgrims. They all wore the same thing.

FRAN: And what a mistake. Very few people look good in a big hat, a big collar, and a big buckle. C.C.: Anyway, she and her daughter, Cynthia, are very active in the Cotillion Society. I mentioned Maggie and they’ve invited her to be a Junior Debutante. MAXWELL: C.C., that’s splendid. What a nice opportunity for Maggie. C.C.: Maggie? Oh, yes, of course. And God knows it wouldn’t hurt us to meet some new old money. MAGGIE: Excuse me, but does anyone care how I feel

Process: Dike 01  

first draft

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