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Image: Destiny in a Dandelion by Sue Parker

MOMENTS MATTER

1ST QUARTER 2017 NEWSLETTER

BEREAVEMENT DEPARTMENT MOVES TO HAGERSTOWN LIFE CENTER! In addition to the support that Hospice of Washington County (HWC) offers our patients and families regarding end-of-life issues, Hospice offers bereavement support to those families, as well as support to the community. That has always been true ‌ and will continue ‌ but, a new change is coming! The Bereavement Team is moving their location to the HWC Hagerstown Community Life Center at 20 W. Washington Street (in the Grand Building, 3rd floor). Our services will not be changing at all. We will actually be able to enhance our services because of the change in venue, and we are hoping to serve a wider population by making it easier for many to access the team of counselors when there is a need. At this time, while we are holding groups and workshops at our main office on Northern Avenue, we continue to meet with individuals and families at all of our locations. As the need would arise, we are open to holding groups and workshops at our other sites, as well.

The Bereavement Team is now located in the HWC Hagerstown Community Life Center at 20 West Washington Street, Hagerstown, MD.


TABLE OF CONTENTS Feature Story: Bereavement Department Moves A Message From The CEO Benevolence Fund Helping Hands of Hospice 4th Annual "Have A Heart For Doey’s House Radio-Thon" Community Life Centers Making a Difference Test Your Hospice Knowledge! Have You Heard About LifeCare of Washington County? Meet the HWC Bereavement Team Transformative Grief Children & Grief Upcoming Bereavement Events A Volunteer’s Greatest Gift Upcoming Volunteer Events Share Your Talent - Special Service Volunteers Needed! Book Corner - “After You” by Jojo Moyes Calendar of Events

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Bereavement Department Moves continued...

Following the death of a patient enrolled in hospice, our bereavement team continues to support the family by offering 13 months of grief counseling at no cost. Likewise, we offer grief counseling to all community members that have lost a loved one, regardless of the cause of death. Whether a loved one was ill for a long time or died suddenly due to a tragic accident, suicide, homicide, overdose or a perinatal death, please know HWC's bereavement team is available to assist and comfort! The Bereavement Team offers various Support Groups and Educational Workshops. In addition, we offer Individual Counseling: at the office, in homes (which includes nursing homes and assisted living facilities), and in schools. We offer education in various places as well - at our office, at our life centers, at churches - anywhere there is a group to gather. Bereavement support is

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provided to adults, children, and teens; individuals, couples, and families. When asked, “What are you most looking forward to about this change?” Cathy Campbell, Manager of Bereavement Services, stated, “I am looking forward to the fact that things will not change in terms of our involvement with our Hospice Team. We will continue in our roles as we always have, but I am looking forward to a new scene, looking forward to being immersed in the community, meeting new people, and having new opportunities.” Grief Counselor Cathy Hubbard adds, “This move will provide us with opportunities to serve the community we haven’t yet imagined.”


CEO CORNER

A MESSAGE FROM THE CEO On behalf of Hospice of Washington County, I want to thank you for your support of the first hospice house in our community. Recently, there was a fire at Doey’s House, and the facility suffered significant damage. The cause of the fire is under investigation by the Maryland State Fire Marshall’s Office. Fortunately, no one was injured as a result. First and foremost, Hospice of Washington County is very thankful that no one was hurt during the fire. Second, we would like to thank the first responders for all of their tireless efforts. They are truly heroes! We wanted you to know that Hospice of Washington County is committed to this critical facet of its mission, which is building the first hospice house that will serve all of our residents who are in need. This will result is some delays; however, we will overcome any barriers. Doey’s House will be completed. To that end, we will assess the situation and issue a revised construction schedule. Hospice of Washington County, Inc. is committed to the mission of serving our community by empowering patients and families to provide quality end-of-life care and grief support for those coping with a life-changing loss.

Eric Klimes, Chief Executive Officer

Doey’s House is being built for residents of Washington County who are in need of inpatient hospice and respite care services. Care will be delivered with compassion, and we will ensure the dignity of patients at the most vulnerable period in their lives. We really appreciate the outpouring of support for this project, and we thank you for your personal support. We are continuing this campaign. If you know of anyone who would like to assist, please have them call 301-791-6360, email Karen Giffin at kmgiffin@ hospiceofwc.org or visit the hospice website at www.hospiceofwc. org to donate.

Again, thank you for your support. Doey’s House will become a reality.

DEVELOPMENT

BENEVOLENCE FUND Imagine being at the end-of-life and not having money for the basics such as food, heat, cool air, gas or even a dignified burial. Hospice of Washington County’s (HWC) team members often find new patients in this exact situation, and the organization created the Benevolence Fund to help. HWC’s Benevolence Fund is a stopgap measure while our social workers work with the many community organizations that can provide ongoing support. The employees of Hospice of Washington County began this fund as an employee giving program and formed a committee to review basic immediate need requests. The program grew to be a designated fund that is paid for by individual and business sponsors, and HWC continues to be committed to providing not only the basic needs, but comfort needs to patients as well. “Our social work department long wanted a fund which we could disperse to our families in need,” stated Gretel Hartley, Director of Counseling and Support Services. “Too often, we would meet

a patient and/or family with literally no food in the refrigerator or pantry, or a patient with a severe respiratory disease and living in a very hot mobile home. Being able to quickly identify an urgent need, such as a grocery store gift card or a monetary donation for a fan or window air conditioner, has greatly improved the quality of life for patients in need.” Ms. Hartley went on to explain that the cost of final arrangements are often out of reach for our families. “The funeral expense fund, through the Benevolence Fund, has assisted families in paying for final arrangements for their loved one.” The Development Department takes donations for the Benevolence Fund year-round. Gifts of all sizes are greatly appreciated and make a difference in the lives of the patients and families we serve. Gifts of cash, appreciated securities, bequests, life insurance, and charitable gift annuities are accepted. Individuals or businesses can give to the fund by visiting www.hospiceofwc.org/donate or calling 301-791-6360.

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Helping Hands of Hospice

Hospice of Washington County hosted its annual outreach program, "Helping Hands of Hospice" on November 14, 2016 at Fountainhead Country Club. Tom Newcomer, President of the Board of Directors, spoke about the organization's mission and members of the hospice care team reflected on the privilege of caring for terminal patients and supporting their family members. Pamela Rutherford, Kelli Deiterich, and Mike Martin shared memories of their loved ones and recalled the excellent medical care and compassionate support provided by the hospice team.

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4TH ANNUAL "HAVE A HEART FOR DOEY’S HOUSE RADIO-THON" SET FOR FEB. 11 Put your dial on WJEJ 1240 on Saturday, Feb. 11th for the 4th Annual Have A Heart for Doey’s House Radio-thon. The proceeds will support the construction of Doey’s House. Volunteers and employees of HWC will man the phones from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., and callers can make pledges for this vital project. “We thank WJEJ who initiated the tradition of the Radio-thon on the weekend closest to Valentine’s Day,” stated Karen Giffin, Senior Director of Development, Community and Public Relations. “Since the radio station was established in 1932, it has made community involvement its hallmark. We are proud that they support HWC and Doey’s House, and that WJEJ continues to be supportive of Washington County.” Giffin went on to explain that Hospice of Washington County is also honoured to have Lou Scally host this important event. “Lou Scally has been a supporter of Doey’s House since the start of the project, and because of his passion for the project and WJEJ’s commitment this event has grown each year.”

“Many people have heard about the extraordinary services that Hospice of Washington County provides to patients and their families for end-of-life care,” stated Lou Scally of WJEJ Radio Station. “With Doey’s House, HWC can now help patients that have unmanaged pain and symptoms and can no longer stay at home. Right now, those who need or want a hospice house have to leave the county.” In addition to helping to spread the word about what services will be offered at Doey’s House, the radio station is also hoping listeners across the community will offer financial support during the four-hour radio-thon and assist in the capital/ endowment campaign.

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LIFE CENTERS

COMMUNITY LIFE CENTERS MAKING A DIFFERENCE Hospice of Washington County (HWC), as part of its ongoing commitment to give back to the community, opened three Community Life Centers in the past three years. Eric Klimes, the organization’s Chief Executive Officer said, “We are interested in continuously improving the services we provide. Opening the Community Life Centers has allowed us to better meet the needs of those who are grieving and provided us with opportunities to establish meaningful relationships with folks, long before they ever need our services.” HWC recognizes that, in times of crisis, when a loved one has limited time, people turn to those they know; those with whom they have built trusting relationships. This knowledge shaped the dual mission of the Community Life Centers: 1) To provide professional counseling to the grieving; and 2) To build meaningful relationships with county residents long before end-of-life services are needed. At the Community Life Centers, professional bereavement specialists offer individual, couple, and family counseling to those who have lost loved ones. In addition, these compassionate and understanding professionals host educational workshops, lead support groups, and facilitate “Timely Topic Discussions.” Programs vary depending on the time of year and on the needs of those seeking support. In addition, through its Community Life Centers, HWC strives to

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engage local residents by providing meeting space to individuals, groups, and nonprofits who offer free programs to strengthen the community. From book clubs, to Qigong Classes, to Veteran Support, the programs offered at the Community Life Centers are as varied and unique as those who step forward to share their knowledge, skills, and talents. HWC is privileged to connect with the local residents who attend Community Life Center programs and looks forward to journeying with them through life rather than meeting them for the first time when a loved one is nearing the end of life. The Community Life Centers are located in Hancock at 126 West High Street, in Hagerstown at 20 West Washington Street (3rd floor) and in Boonsboro at 28 North Main Street. Those interested in attending or leading programs should contact Bernadette Wagner, Hospice of Washington County’s Community Outreach Coordinator.

Hancock Community Life Center

Hagerstown Community Life Center

Boonsboro Community Life Center

126 W. High Street, 2nd Floor Hancock, MD 21750

20 W. Washington Street, 3rd Floor Hagerstown, MD 21740

28 N. Main Street Boonsboro, MD 21713


CLINICAL

TEST YOUR HOSPICE KNOWLEDGE! Hospice is only for cancer patients or the very old.

FALSE

Currently only 20% of our patients have a cancer diagnosis. We treat patients of all ages with any disease if they have a life expectancy of six months or less. Hospice of Washington County (HWC) is currently treating patients with heart, liver, lung and kidney disease; stroke or coma; dementia or Alzheimer’s; Parkinson’s; cancer; HIV and AIDS; and many other diagnoses.

Hospice is only for patients who are living at home.

FALSE

Hospice provides care to patients wherever they call home … that could be their residence, an assisted living or nursing facility, or even the hospital.

Hospice is affordable to the average person.

TRUE

Hospice services are paid in full by Medicare Part A, Medicaid, and most private insurance companies. Payments cover medications needed to keep the patient comfortable, medical equipment, and medical supplies. Patients without insurance are asked to pay what they can afford and the difference is covered by generous donations to HWC.

Hospice gives medications that cause the patient’s death.

FALSE

All medication decisions focus on keeping the patient as painfree as possible, while keeping them alert to accomplish goals and to interact with loved ones.

Hospice is a team of volunteers who help the patient.

FALSE

HWC staff consists of highly trained professionals, including registered nurses, certified nursing assistants, social workers, chaplains, and grief counselors. They work together to care for the patient and family under the direction of the physician and nurse practitioner. Volunteers do play a critical role and HWC could not fulfill its mission without them. They provide assistance to patients, help with administrative work, provide assistance with events and fundraisers, and volunteer at the Community Life Centers.

Hospice patients can continue to be cared for by their own physician.

TRUE

A patient’s physician becomes a part of the Hospice care team and remains the primary physician, working with the hospice Medical Director, the nurse who is managing the patient, and the rest of the team to develop the best plan of care.

Hospice forces patients to sign away all rights to property and decision making about care and treatment.

FALSE

HWC has no claim to any property rights, but will work with uninsured families to find a way to pay for services. If no funds are available, services will still be given. Care and treatment plans are developed jointly by the patient and/or family member and the case manager. They are consulted on all treatment decisions.

Hospice care gives patients and family members hope.

TRUE

Hope for a life as pain-free as possible and the chance to fulfill desired plans. Hope for quality interactions with friends and loved ones. Hope that they may remain at home with loved ones rather than having to go to the hospital or a nursing home. The Hospice team will work to help the patient to accomplish tasks, fulfill wishes, and maintain hope. Choosing Hospice care in no way means a patient is giving up hope. If a new treatment is suggested, a patient may leave hospice care to seek more treatment.

Hospice is only for patients who are very close to death or actively dying.

FALSE

The patients and families who benefit most from Hospice are those who turn to Hospice at the first knowledge that the attempts for a cure are failing. The medical team of Hospice performs best when managing the gradual decline for the comfort of the patient. Early management of the disease allows for the most interaction with the patient’s care plan and allows for the family to have the greatest knowledge of what to expect.

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PALLIATIVE CARE

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT LIFECARE OF WASHINGTON COUNTY? who are committed to our mission of providing quality care in our community. So – a project began to fill in this gap in the continuum of care for the residents of Washington County and surrounding areas, to bring that extra support for patients living with a chronic or serious illness by providing palliative medicine consultation services. By August of 2015, LifeCare of Washington County opened its doors. What is the difference between Hospice of Washington County and LifeCare of Washington County? Palliative care is wholeperson care that relieves symptoms of a disease or disorder, whether or not it can be cured. Hospice is a specific type of palliative care for people who likely have six months or less to live. In other words, hospice care is always palliative, but not all palliative care is hospice care.

Palliative Care:

What is LifeCare of Washington County? It is a palliative (pronounced pal-lee-uh-tiv) medicine practice, focusing on providing patients with relief from the symptoms, pain, and stress of a serious illness - whatever the diagnosis. The goal is to improve quality of life for both the patient and the family. At LifeCare of Washington County, palliative care is provided by a team of doctors, nurses, and other specialists who work together with a patient’s other doctors to provide an extra layer of support. It is appropriate at any age and at any stage in a serious illness and can be provided along with curative treatment. When and why did Hospice of Washington County (HWC) launch LifeCare of Washington County? In 2013, conversations indicated that there was a growing concern for patients and families that were not eligible to receive hospice services for one reason or another. This was troubling to HWC staff and leadership,

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• Accessed at any point in an illness • Patient can actively seek life-prolonging and curative treatment while receiving palliative care • Patient is not necessarily terminally ill at time of care • Relieves the symptoms of chronic diseases, such as pain, shortness of breath, fatigue, constipation, nausea, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, as well as emotional and spiritual issues with curative treatments continue

Hospice Care: • • • •

Accessed in the last six months of a terminal illness Patient is seeking comfort care only, not curative treatment Patient is terminally ill at point of care Relieves symptoms of end-stage diseases, such as pain, shortness of breath, fatigue, constipation, nausea, loss of appetite, and difficulty sleeping, as well as emotional and spiritual issues


Who is eligible to receive services through LifeCare? • Anyone who has one or more serious illnesses that keep them from being as active as they would like • Anyone with a serious illness that impacts their quality of life with symptoms such as pain, shortness of breath, fatigue, and nausea • Patients who are going through difficult treatments for a serious illness and are experiencing side effects or eating problems as a result • Patients who find themselves making multiple emergency room visits or hospitalizations for the same symptoms • Patients who want to understand the options of treatment and what to expect long-term from their illness How are palliative consultations at LifeCare paid for? Services provided by the physician or the nurse practitioner are billed

TAKE THE QUIZ: Is LifeCare of Washington County Right for You? Answer the following questions to determine whether LifeCare might be right for you or someone close to you. Remember, you can receive palliative care at any point in your illness – even while you are being treated to cure your illness. 1. Do you have one or more serious illnesses such as: oo Cancer oo Congestive heart failure (CHF) oo Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), emphysema, lung disease oo Kidney failure oo Liver failure oo Neurological diseases (e.g., ALS, Parkinson's) oo Dementia 2. Do you have symptoms that make it difficult to be as active as you would like to be, or that impact your quality of life? These symptoms might include: oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo

Pain or discomfort Shortness of breath Fatigue Anxiety Depression Lack of appetite Nausea Constipation

through Medicare Part B and through many private insurances in the same way as other referred specialists are billed by your insurance. How do I receive palliative services through LifeCare? Palliative Care is a specialty, just as cardiology, pulmonology, or oncology. The physicians and nurse practitioners who give palliative care do so with a referral from your primary care physician or your specialty physician. If you have pain or symptoms due to a serious or chronic illness, ask your doctor to make a referral to LifeCare of Washington County. Where is the LifeCare office located? LifeCare of Washington County is located in the Trilogy Building at 1165 Imperial Dr., Suite 200 in Hagerstown, MD. Additionally, when the circumstances warrant, the LifeCare team can consult with you in a nursing home, assisted living facility, or in a private residence.

oo Three or more admissions to the hospital within 12 months and with the same symptoms 4. Do you, or does someone close to you, need help with: oo Knowing what to expect oo Knowing what programs and resources are available oo Making medical decisions about treatment choices/ options oo Matching your goals and values to your medical care oo Understanding the pros and cons (benefits/burdens) of treatments (e.g., dialysis, additional cancer treatments, surgery, etc.) 5. Do you, or does someone close to you, need help with: oo oo oo oo

Coping with the stress of a serious illness Emotional support Spiritual or religious support Talking with your family about your illness and what is important to you

If you would like to receive a consultation from an experienced LifeCare Team member, talk to your primary care physician or your specialist, who can discuss this option with you and make a referral. More information on LifeCare of Washington County is available by calling 301-671-2171.

3. Have you, or has someone close to you, experienced the following: oo Difficult side effects from treatment oo Eating problems due to a serious illness oo Frequent emergency room visits

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DEPARTMENT SPOTLIGHT

MEET THE HWC BEREAVEMENT TEAM

Cathy Campbell, MS, LCPC, CT

Cathy Hubbard, MA, D.Min

Emily Crist, LPC

Dot Kemmet

CATHY CAMPBELL, MS, LCPC, CT

EMILY CRIST, LPC

Cathy earned a bachelor’s degree in Education, a master’s degree in Human Services, and a master’s degree in Counselor Education. She is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and has a certification in Thanatology - the study of death, dying, and grief - through the Association for Death Educators and Counselors (ADEC). She has been an adjunct Professor at Hood College and Mount St. Mary’s University and has worked as a counselor for over 25 years in hospice care, private practice, and in organizational settings.

Emily earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in professional counseling from Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. She later received licensure in professional counseling in the State of Pennsylvania. Emily has experience working with all age groups, specializing in grief and loss.

Manager of Bereavement Services

CATHY HUBBARD, MA, D.MIN Grief Counselor

Cathy Hubbard received her bachelor’s degree in Psychology and master’s in Human Resources Management from the New School University in New York, New York. She earned her master’s in Divinity with a concentration in Pastoral Care from Memphis Theological Seminary in Memphis, Tennessee and later went on to complete a Doctor of Ministry (D.Min) in Pastoral Care and Counseling from Christian Theological Seminary in Indianapolis, Indiana. While working as a chaplain, Cathy provided pre-bereavement counseling to patients and their families, as well as short term bereavement counseling.

Grief Counselor

ALLISON PRITCHARD, MSW Grief Counselor

Allison received her bachelor’s degree in Social Work and her master’s in Social Work with a concentration in Health and Mental Health from Southern Illinois University in Carbondale. In her spare time, she works with children with behavioral health issues as a mobile therapist (MT) and behavior specialist consultant (BSC).

DOT KEMMET

Bereavement Services Assistant Dot has worked for HWC for seven years. She has been described as the glue that holds this team together. Dot keeps things running smoothly by assisting with all components of the Bereavement Program.

CATHY, CATHY, EMILY, ALLISON, AND DOT ARE THRILLED TO BE PART OF THE HOSPICE TEAM AND APPRECIATE THE OPPORTUNITY TO WORK WITH THE COMMUNITY. THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!

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Allison Pritchard, MSW


BEREAVEMENT

TRANSFORMATIVE GRIEF

BY CATHY CAMPBELL, LCPC, CT, MANAGER OF BEREAVEMENT SERVICES Holding onto hope in the midst of your intense pain can be the biggest challenge for those of us who are grieving. Finding the courage or the energy to go on day after day requires hope hope of healing and hope for the future. Holding onto hope is not always easy. Some days it requires all of our energy just to maintain the routine of our daily lives. On other days, we try to believe that there is purpose for everything. That requires finding ways to make meaning … even out of situations that may seem meaningless. Holding onto hope requires active participation. It is not a passive process. It requires holding onto faith in the future, at a time when we can barely survive the present. Hope comes in small steps. Hope is the first time you laugh. It is there when there are enough good memories in the course of a day to balance the painful ones. Some people find hope in becoming an activist, fighting to give purpose to the loss. That is called the Transformative Potential of Grief. For transformation to be a part of our life processes, we must first appreciate the full range of human experiences that are associated with growing up, aging, and death, and second, to be able to grieve, to heal, to understand, and to once again challenge ourselves. Transformation, after all, means starting with one thing and ending up with something quite different (your life before the death - and your life now). Transformation comes when we can radically reassess internal richness never appreciated before. Transformation involves making use of our internal resources. Transformative grief means transforming the pain - your pain of grief - into something different, something new, and something beautiful.

How do we do this? • By discovering what is lost. How bad is it? What is the extent? How is this death affecting me? Do I have to face it? Dealing with the reality that I must live each day without hearing your laugh … crying in an empty room. But then we move on to … • Discover what is left. We find out what keeps us going, the sources of support and nurturance that helped me to make it through the darkest of times. We turn our energies toward finding out what we’ve lost and restore what we can. Then, very importantly…. • We move to discover what is possible. Our task here is to discover life’s potential, having accepted the reality of the loss and the limits of what one has left. There are those who are motivated to grow by their losses and those who are able to live fully after significant losses. This means they have the access to the integrated resources of mind, body, and spirit - and they act accordingly.

THIS PATH OF GROWTH IS NOT ALWAYS CLEAR, BUT SOMEHOW, SOME WAY, SOME DAY, WE KNOW THAT THE WOUND IS HEALING.

Grief can shift us from seeing ourselves as the center of the universe to seeing the universe as the center of who and where we are. Transformative grief is characterized by a shift from a focus on limits to an exploration of opportunities. Transforming loss can allow us to discover new ways to relate, understand, create, and commit ourselves to an ongoing process of renewal and discovery.

How do we transform our losses into growth? • Allow and express your feelings • Express your feelings in helpful ways such as journaling, through music, and physical activity • Connect with some larger meaning of life source • Allow suffering • Take care of yourself • Laugh and learn how to play - even when it hurts • Revisit and resolve earlier losses • Seek and offer forgiveness • Have rituals and times of remembrance This path of growth is not always clear, but somehow, some way, some day, we know that the wound is healing. We eventually reach the point of offering comfort to others in need. Our faith and determination will pay off. Life goes on, not without obstacles, setbacks, or reminders, but it goes on. Healing will continue as long as we are alive. May we all discover a new definition of self - a new depth of character. If you have not been able to do so yet, find a way to capture hope … and pass the magic on.

Hope is hearing the melody of the future; faith is dancing to it today! Let’s dance!!

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CHILDREN & GRIEF After a death, your child might...

How You Can Help Your Grieving Teen

• Have trouble concentrating, making decisions, and sitting still. • Have vivid dreams about the deceased or feel that person’s presence with him/her during the day. Sleep can be disturbed. • Become clingier, needing many more hugs and holding, along with showing regressive behaviors. • Feel a “roller coaster” of emotions: anger, guilt, sadness, fear, anxiety, and/or relief. • Ask for concrete information about why his/her loved one died and might have increased worry about whether other family members might die too. • May withdraw from others, yet might act out for attention.

• Teach your teen about the grieving process. Talk about what they can expect. • Include your teen in memorials, anniversaries, family remembrances, and traditions. • Be a good role model by allowing yourself to express your own feelings of sadness and loss in healthy ways. • Listen to your teen. Resist the urge to offer advice. Let them use their own problem-solving skills. • Let your teen react to the loss in his/her own way. Some teens are naturally quiet and may need to express grief in private, while others may act out. • Allow your teen to question the meaning of life, what happens after death, why tragedy occurs, and why bad things happen to good people. • Remain non-judgmental and listen. Let your teen know you are interested in their views, their ideas, and their thoughts. • Avoid minimizing. Don’t say things like, “This was God’s will” or “Time will heal” or “I know just how you feel”. • Give your teen time to adjust to the loss. Teens vary in their ability to adjust to major life changes. Do not force your teen to grieve according to your timetable. • Reassure your teen that grieving is normal. Let them know that the sadness and other feelings of grief will lessen over time. • Set reasonable limits on your teen’s behavior. When a major loss occurs, rebellious behaviors may become more dramatic. Grief does not give them permission to break the rules.

Kids… Here are some ideas that might help you express the mixed-up feelings of grief and loss: • • • • • • • • • • • •

Talk to a grown-up you trust. Talk about the person who died. Write your feelings in a journal or notebook. Draw, paint, and color to express your feelings. Play sports, play games, dance, etc. Make a memory book or a memory box. Get and give lots of hugs. Read books about grief. Write a letter to your loved one. Plant a tree or flowers in memory of your loved one. Listen to or play music. Attend Grief Camp or a support group for kids.

UPCOMING BEREAVEMENT EVENTS PLEASE CALL 301-791-6360 TO REGISTER Ongoing 1ST & 3RD MONDAY OF EACH MONTH - 10:30 AM-12:00 PM 2ND & 4TH THURSDAY OF EACH MONTH - 5:30-7:00 PM

Hearts of Hope

Hearts of Hope is an ongoing, open support group, available to any adult who has experienced the death of a loved one. Please call to register.

Workshops and Closed Groups SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11 - 10:30 AM-12:00 PM

Finding Companionship

One of the challenges in adjusting to life without a loved one is making new friends and/or seeking out deeper relationships. This presentation will address common barriers to finding companionship after loss and suggest ways to make steps to overcome the “roadblocks.” Please call to register. FRIDAY, MARCH 3 - 6:00-8:00 PM

Camp Hope ‘N’ Cope Reunion

For all past camp participants between the ages of 6 and 13. Please call for further information.

experiences we will ever have to endure. When that loved one dies suddenly and due to an overdose, the pain can become excruciating. Many mixed feelings may be felt … including the feeling that no one could possibly understand. The harsh reality is that there are others who have a sense of what this pain is like. Won’t you please join us for a time of support, sharing, and education? Please call to register. THURSDAY, APRIL 6 - 5:30-7:00 PM

Children and Grief Workshop

When children experience the death of a loved one, they grieve, just as adults do. They may not be able to verbalize their grief. They may repress their feelings or express them through their behavior. They may seem not to be affected, but they are grieving, sometimes very deeply. Please join us for the discussion on the grief children experience and how the adults in their lives can help them. Please call to register. BEGINNING TUESDAY, APRIL 4 - 5:30-7:00 PM

Survivors of Suicide Group

(runs for eight consecutive weeks) This group will focus on the many issues that arise when a loved one dies by suicide. We will describe the many emotional, physical, and spiritual responses to it; explore ways to manage the intensity of the pain associated with it; and discuss healthy coping strategies. Please call to register.

BEGINNING TUESDAY, MARCH 21 - 5:30-7:00 PM

Overdose Loss Support Group

(runs for six consecutive weeks) Experiencing the death of a loved one can be one of the most painful

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All groups and workshops are held at our main office, 747 Northern Avenue in Hagerstown.


UPCOMING VOLUNTEER EVENTS

A VOLUNTEER’S GREATEST GIFT PRESENCE AND A LISTENING EAR

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7 - 5:00-6:00 PM

In-Service: Compassion Fatigue and Self-Care

(rescheduled from December) Learn self-care strategies that can help prevent the mental and physical exhaustion that can sometimes result from caring for others.

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 24 - 1:00-2:00 PM

11th Hour Team Support Meeting

This meeting serves as an opportunity to provide support and updated information to members of the 11th Hour volunteer team.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

MARCH 13, 16 AND 22 - 5:00-9:00 PM

Volunteer Training

Have you ever considered becoming a Hospice of Washington County Volunteer? Join our training to learn how to provide companionship and caregiver relief to a patient and family along their journey with a life-limiting illness.

Listen! All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do- just hear me.

TUESDAY, MARCH 28 - 5:00-6:00 PM

Advice is cheap.

Facility Liaison Team Support Meeting

This meeting serves as an opportunity to provide support and updated information to our Facility Liaison Volunteers.

A quarter will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper. And I can do for myself.

FRIDAY, APRIL 14 - 12:00-1:30 PM

I am not helpless.

Lunch and Learn - “Facing Your Fears - Straight Talk about the Dying Process”

Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

The “Lunch and Learn” program offers an opportunity to come together with your peers for a facilitated roundtable discussion. Lunch will be served. During this Lunch and Learn, we will be viewing the movie, “Facing Your Fears - Straight Talk about the Dying Process.” This is a DVD that both instructs and demonstrates how to talk with patients and families to minimize fear through education about the natural process of dying. Physical changes and psychosocial challenges are discussed, along with the mysteries such as the timing of death and visions.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what is behind this irrational feeling. And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.

To register, please contact Brooke Mullenix at 301-791-6360 or email bmmullenix@hospiceofwc.org.

- Author Unknown

SHARE YOUR TALENT - SPECIAL SERVICE VOLUNTEERS NEEDED! DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL SKILL?

Are you willing to volunteer your time and talents to work with hospice patients? One of the quickest and most effective ways to grow your confidence and experience self-fulfillment is to contribute to making someone else’s life better. Help make a difference in our patients’ lives by providing joy, distraction, relaxation, and stress reduction.

Special Service Volunteers Needed: • • • •

Haircut Volunteers Massage Therapy Volunteers Music Volunteers Pet Therapy Volunteers

If you are looking for a rewarding opportunity to put your specialized skills to use, please contact Lindsay Anderson, Volunteer Services Director, at laanderson@hospiceofwc.org or 301-791-6360.

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BOOK CORNER

“AFTER YOU” BY JOJO MOYES

THE SEQUEL TO THE BELOVED NEW YORK TIMES MILLION-COPY BESTSELLER, ME BEFORE YOU. BY: BERNADETTE WAGNER, COMMUNITY OUTREACH COORDINATOR Eighteen months after the death of the man she loved, Louisa Clark, better known as Lou, is working a dead-end job in a bar. Her grief is, at times, beyond words but she tells herself, “At least I’m living my life.” Well, sort of. Lou goes to work, she comes home, she drinks prodigious amounts of wine, and she misses Will Traynor with all her heart. Jojo Moyes' novel "After You" deals with grief in a straight forward but gentle manner that allows the reader to sidle up to it a little at a time. The passages dealing with grief are interspersed with story lines that are so familiar as to be comforting, and characters so real that I couldn't help wondering if Moyes were writing about her own relatives... or mine. This cleverly written novel manages to be charming, moving, outrageously funny, and incredibly poignant. Lou has a terrible accident, which enables Moyes to introduce new characters and provides a plausible reason for Lou to return to her parents’ home. Back in her girlhood bedroom, Lou confronts what all those who love her have been saying - she needs to make some changes. However, Lou feels stuck, as if pulled by equally strong polarized magnets. On one hand, she’s afraid of moving on; worried that somehow by doing so she is being disloyal to Will. On the other, she’s constantly reminded of her failure to live up to Will’s admonition, “Live boldly. Push yourself. Don’t settle. Just live well. Just live.” This insight (along with her father’s insistence) is the impetus Lou needs to join the Moving On grief-counseling support group, which meets in a local church basement. The members of the group share their struggles, laughter, tears, memories, hope, and fears. They learn from each other what they are not able to learn from those who have not experienced loss. Marc, the grief counselor, invites the group members to share their feeling on important topics such as survivor’s guilt, celebrating holidays in the absence of a loved one, and the fact everyone grieves in their own way. The thing I liked best about this novel is the way Moyes, through her characters, affirms both the grieving process and the complexities of daily living. Lou, who finds herself responsible for Will’s teenage daughter he didn’t even know about, says, “Life’s complicated.” In this novel there are a lot of complexities. Unpredictable teens misbehave, families feud and reconcile, jobs are lost, babies are born, couples divorce, innocent bystanders are accidentally shot, and people fall in love. It’s as if Moyes is trying to explain that the complexities of life have healing powers that give permission to those who are grieving to re-engage and move on.

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"INCREDIBLY HEARTWARMING STORY, FILLED WITH LOVE AND LOSS, THAT STAYS WITH YOU LONG AFTER."

- Tisha May


CALENDAR OF EVENTS Ongoing (Weekly or Bi-Weekly)  MONDAYS, JANUARY 9, 23, 30 AND FEBRUARY 6 AND 13 - 3:00 PM

Mindfulness Meditation

Hagerstown Community Life Center  TUESDAYS, FEBRUARY 7, 21, 28 AND MARCH 7 - 5:30 PM

Essential Oils & Wellness

Boonsboro Community Life Center  EVERY TUESDAY - 10:00 AM

KnitWits

Hancock Community Life Center  EVERY TUESDAY (MARCH 21-APRIL 25) 5:30-7:00 PM

Overdose Loss Support Group HWC Office Northern Avenue

 EVERY TUESDAY (APRIL 4-MAY 9) 5:30-7:00 PM

Survivors of Suicide Group HWC Office Northern Avenue

 1ST & 3RD MONDAY OF EACH MONTH 10:30 AM-12:00 PM

Hearts of Hope

HWC Office Northern Avenue  2ND & 4TH THURSDAY OF EACH MONTH - 5:30-7:00 PM

Hearts of Hope

HWC Office Northern Avenue

Ongoing (Monthly)  2ND MONDAY OF EVERY MONTH 7:30 PM

Hagerstown Artists

Hagerstown Community Life Center  1ST TUESDAY OF EACH MONTH 10:00 AM

Veterans Self Help Support Group Hancock Community Life Center

 2ND TUESDAY OF EACH MONTH 11:00 AM

Blood Pressure Screenings by Meritus Home Health Boonsboro Community Life Center

 1ST WEDNESDAY OF EACH MONTH 1:30 PM

Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Group Hagerstown Community Life Center

February  TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7 5:00-6:00 PM

Volunteer In-Service: Compassion Fatigue and Self-Care HWC Office Northern Avenue

 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 9 2:00-6:00 PM

CPR Training

Boonsboro Community Life Center  SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11 10:30 AM-12:00 PM

Finding Companionship Workshop HWC Office Northern Avenue

 SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11 9:00 AM – 1:00 PM

“Have a Heart for Doey’s House Radio-thon”

 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 24 – 6:00-10:00 PM

“Wild Women Who Wine”

This fun event is being held by Herald-Mail Media. Hospice of Washington County has been named as the non-profit beneficiary of the silent auction portion of the event. Green Grove Gardens, Greencastle, PA

March  FRIDAY, MARCH 3 - 6:00-8:00 PM

Camp Hope ‘N’ Cope Reunion HWC Office Northern Avenue

 MARCH 13, 16 AND 22 - 5:00-9:00 PM

Volunteer Training

HWC Office Northern Avenue  TUESDAY, MARCH 28 - 5:00-6:00 PM

Facility Liaison Volunteer Team Support Meeting HWC Office Northern Avenue

April  THURSDAY, APRIL 6 - 5:30-7:00 PM

Children and Grief Workshop HWC Office Northern Avenue

 FRIDAY, APRIL 14 - 12:00-1:30 PM

Volunteer Lunch and Learn HWC Office Northern Avenue

This is conducted in partnership with WJEJ Radio - WJEJ Radio Station  SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11 - 10:00 AM2:00 PM AND 2:00-6:00 PM

CPR Training

Hagerstown Community Life Center  FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 24 - 1:00-2:00 PM

11th Hour Volunteer Team Support Meeting HWC Office Northern Avenue

In addition to the programs above, one-time seminars, workshops and presentations may be scheduled. Please visit our website for a list of current programs: www.hospiceofwc.org.

Event Key

If you wish to be added to the mailing list, removed from the mailing list, or if there are any corrections that need to be made, please call Hospice of Washington County at 301-791-6360.

 BEREAVEMENT EVENT

Prefer to get our newsletter in an email? Please let us know by sending your email address to laanderson@hospiceofwc.org.

 COMMUNITY LIFE CENTER EVENT

 VOLUNTEER EVENT  DEVELOPMENT EVENT

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Hospice of Washington County, Inc. 747 Northern Ave. Hagerstown, MD 21742 (301) 791-6360 www.hospiceofwc.org

Hospice of Washington County Q1 Newsletter 2017  

This is the first quarter newsletter for Hospice of Washington County.

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