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by iknowitainteasy AU || PG-13 Blaine sends a text message to a wrong number by accident. Things progress from there. || PDF by

Contents ↑

Contents Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty


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- 42 - 55 -

- 70 - 85 -

- 100 - 118 -

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- 149 -

- 170 -

- 187 -

- 215 –

- 231 -

- 255 - 279 -

- 297 -

- 323 -

- 387 -2-

Contents ↑

Chapter One Thurs 2 Oct (2:33pm) Hey, would you mind meeting me at 4 instead of 3? A dog just threw up on me (no, really) and I have to make a detour. (2:35)

a) Who is this? and b) Why do we have a meeting? and c) How does that even happen? Mostly a) though. (2:36)

Oh god, sorry! New phone, wrong number! Never mind. (2:37)

I'm never gonna hear that story, am I? (2:39)

You're oddly interested for a stranger. It's not even that great a story. (2:40)

What can I say? I'm stuck in an exceptionally dull class. You could've been my savior. (2:41)

Pay attention, you might get something out of it! Gotta run! Sorry again. (2:42)

...are you a teacher? Anyway. Goodbye then, puppy magnet! ****** Thurs 9 Oct (2:30pm) So yesterday I saw a dog throw up on the streets. It reminded me of you. (2:35)

...Who is this? -3-

Contents ↑ (2:35)

Your wrong number from last week. (2:36)

Seriously?! (2:37)

Bored again? (2:38)

Ah so you *do* remember me! It's 2:38pm on a Thursday; of course I'm bored. (2:42)

What's at 2:38pm on a Thursday? (2:43)

History of Fashion lecture. (2:45)

That doesn't sound as boring as “normal” history.


Believe me, it is, especially when you've known this stuff since you were 3. So yes, I've got nothing to do and your number popped up in my text history. (2:48)

You're weird. (2:49)

You're the one who dances with dogs. (2:50)

Again, you're weird. (2:51)

And yet you keep replying. What does that say about you? -4-

Contents ↑ (2:52)

Should I change my phone number? Are you gonna come find me at night and cut me open while there's creepy opera music playing in the background? (2:55)

Wow. Should I change *my* number? (2:56)

I dunno, you tell me. A puppy thought I was worth puking on. Maybe that makes me detestable. (2:56)

Detestable in that puppy's eyes, sure, but full on serial killer? I'm not too worried. (2:57)

What *did* you do to that puppy? (2:58)

Can't let it go, can you? (2:59)

You brought it up. Don't blame me. (2:59)

You've got 5 more minutes. (3:00)

What and then you'll vanish? (3:01)

You wish. (3:03)

Time is ticking! (15:04) Blaine.


Contents ↑ (3:04)

...Gesundheit? (3:05)

?!? My name is Blaine. (3:05)

Okay, sure, why not. (3:06)

You're not gonna tell me your name are you? I knew you'd be the serial killer in this equation. (3:08)

Really? (3:09)

See you same time next week, Blaine! (3:10)

...Now I just feel used. *******

Thurs 16 Oct (2:20pm) Hey Blaine. (2:22)

Blaine. (2:24)

BlaineBlaineBlaine. (2:28)

Do you just like saying my name or...? (2:28)

Oh there you are. Hi!


Contents ↑ (2:29)

Hello, Wrong Number. (2:30) Ha!


Is there something you want? (2:31)

Start where we left off. I'm still waiting on that dog story. (2:33)

And I keep telling you there's no actual story. (2:34)

You do know that by refusing to tell me you're just building it up, right? (2:34)

Whatever. (2:36)

Someone's in a crappy mood. You didn't have another puppy throw up on you, did you? (2:37) No.

(2:37) Cat?


What? No! (2:38)

Kangaroo? -7-

Contents ↑ (2:39)

Are you on crack? (2:41)

Hardly. Caffeine maybe. Gotta get through this lecture somehow. The prof doesn't like it if we fall asleep. (2:43)

I wonder why. (2:44)

Wanna tell me what's going on? (2:45)

From serial killer to therapist? (2:45)

Is there a difference? (2:46)

Hey now. (2:46)

You're not a therapist, are you? (2:47)

No, but my mother is. (2:47)

I'm sorry. (2:49)

For insulting my mother or for the fact that she's a therapist? (2:49)

Does it matter? -8-

Contents ↑ (2:49) Hm.


Come on. (2:51)

Maybe you should just focus on your lecture for once. (3:01) Kurt.


Excuse me? (3:02)

My name. (3:03)

Sure, why not. (3:05)

Oh you think you're clever now. (3:05)

All right, we're not strangers anymore. Spill. (3:06)

Technically we're still strangers. (3:06)

Blaine. (3:07)

Just go back to your lecture or whatever you did before you starting using me as a distraction, okay? -9-

Contents ↑ (3:08)

Wow, okay. (3:10)

Sorry if I upset you. ********

Thurs 23 Oct (2:25pm) Hey... I'm sorry. About last week. (2:26)

Well, hello. Sticking to our usual time slot, I see? (2:27)

It's our thing! (2:27)

We have a thing? (2:28)

Apparently we do. (2:30) So?

(2:30) So?


About last week. (2:32)

Oh. Yeah... I was having a crappy week.

- 10 -

Contents ↑ (2:33)

And it's better now? (2:35)

I guess. (2:35)

My offer still stands. (2:40)

Do we really wanna do that? (2:40)

Do what? (2:41)

Details. Personal... stuff. (2:42)

Blaine. (2:42) Kurt.


Why do you keep texting me? (2:43)

You keep texting me! (2:45)

“No you keep texting me!” Seriously, Blaine? And you started this time. So why?

- 11 -

Contents ↑ (2:45)

See, that's what I don't know! (2:46)

Charming. (2:50)

Look... okay you know what? I'm behind on half of my courses (yeah, I'm a student... details!), my workload is insane, I'm really starting to freak out because what if I can't keep up, this was supposed to be easier... one of my professors is a biased pervert, AND I got dumped last week. (2:51)

Is that really what you wanted to talk about? (2:55)

I didn't think so. (2:59)

Shit, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you all... that. (3:00)

Did it cheat on you? (3:01)

What?? (3:04)

The puppy. You said you got dumped. Did it cheat on you by throwing up on someone else? Happens to the best of us. I'm sure it's not personal. (3:04)

...I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. (3:05)

Thank you. (3:06)

Are you holding up a huge sarcasm sign I'm not seeing or...? - 12 -

Contents ↑ (3:09)

No, I'm serious. That actually made me smile. (3:10) :)


Really, Kurt? A smiley face? (3:12)

What? I get ineloquent when I'm insecure. (3:13)

Insecure? Aw. (3:13)

Oh shut up. (3:15)

There you go! (3:16) :P


Sorry, gotta run. Class dismissed. Next week? (3:18) :)

- 13 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Two Thurs 30 Oct (2:30pm) This is weird, right? (2:33)

Well, hello to you too. (2:33) Hi.


You were saying? (2:36)

Weird. This. Don't you think? I've never had weekly text dates with a stranger before.


My, had I known this was a date I would've worn something else. (2:42)

This is the part where you chime in with a heartfelt “God no, you look stunning!” (2:42)

Which I do by the way. (2:43)

Conceited much? (2:43)

And I have no idea what you look like. (2:44)

I know. Details. (2:45)

You were the one who wanted details if I remember correctly.

- 14 -

Contents ↑ (2:46)

True. And you left me hanging. (2:48)

I did not! I told you about my crappy week. And since when is this about obligations? (2:48)

You just gave me a rough outline. Hardly satisfying. (2:50)

You made a puppy joke and ruined the mood. (2:53)

I'm starting to think you have a thing for puppy jokes. (2:54)

I'm starting to think you have a thing for me having a thing for puppy jokes. (2:55)

I've got no problems with details. (2:56)

Really? (2:56)

Really. (2:58)

I'm gonna remember that. For next time. (2:59)

Why do I get the feeling that you actually do vanish some time after 3pm? (3:01)

Maybe I do. Maybe I don't.

- 15 -

Contents ↑ (3:02)

Are you some kind of afternoon version of Cinderella? (3:04)

What does that make you? My fairy godmother? (3:05)

Better than your evil stepmother! (3:06)

Goodbye, Blaine! (3:07)

Have fun at your royal ball! (3:08)

...Dork. (3:10) :)


Sun 2 Nov (11:35am) Do you ever walk through Central Park and wonder how the trees got there? (11:45)

That has got to be one of the strangest texts I've ever received. (11:46)

Wait, what makes you think I live in New York? (11:46)

And in case you haven't noticed, it's not Thursday. (11:47)

Just a feeling.

- 16 -

Contents ↑ (11:47)

And I'm going rogue. (11:49)

A feeling? How can that be a feeling? (11:52)

So tell me, Sarah Palin, are you in Central Park right now? (11:53)

Why? Does that make your stalker genes tingle? (11:54)

I thought we were past the serial killer paranoia. (11:56)

Just wondering if you technically could stalk me right now. (12:00pm)

Is that your weird way of trying to confirm whether I live in NY or not? (12:01)

Is it working? (12:02) No.


Then no. ******

Thurs 6 Nov (2:25pm) Can I ask you something?

- 17 -

Contents ↑ (2:27)

...I love how you're just getting right to the point lately. Good afternoon! How are you? Fine, thank you. (2:27)

Manners, Blaine! (2:29)

There's nothing wrong with my manners. (2:30)

Ooookay. (2:32)

Is it personal? (2:33)

What is? (2:33)

Your question. (2:34)

Oh. Yeah. I guess. (2:36)

What about your aversion to details? (2:38)

I thought we covered that last week.


You said you'd remember. (2:40)

Yes but maybe you just crawled back into your serial killer-proof cave in the meantime. (2:41)


- 18 -

Contents ↑ (2:42)

Okay. No need to get whiny. (2:43) Okay?

(2:43) Okay.


How old are you? (2:47)

That's what you're going with? That's your big personal question? (2:47)

I never said it was gonna be life-changing.


How old do I sound like? (2:49)

Right, cause that's just a minefield waiting to be stepped in. (2:50)

Excuse me? Now I really want to know your answer to that one. (2:51)

Not fair! (2:53)

This coming from the guy who had a “feeling” about me living in New York. (2:54)

I still think I'm right about that one.

- 19 -

Contents ↑ (2:54) 21.


Changing the subject? (2:57)

You asked. It's only polite to not keep the person hanging. Manners, Blaine. (2:57) >:(


I'm just going to pretend that I don't know what that means. (3:01)

Aren't you going tell me how old you are? (3:02)

Are you asking? (3:02)

Are you usually this obnoxious or...? (3:03) 20.


A minor! (3:04)

Well, it's been nice knowing you... (3:06)

Very funny.

- 20 -

Contents ↑ (3:07)

Okay, so... Kurt, 21, living in NY (don't even try to deny it!), studying something that involves fashion, snarky... (3:07)

Close, Blaine. So close. (3:08)

Oh yeah, I forgot conceited! (3:08)

Remind me why I keep talking to you. (3:09)

Because I'm irresistibly charming? Even through text message! (3:09)

Hardly. (3:11)

Because I'm super mysterious and you can't help but be intrigued? (3:11)

Now you're just embarrassing yourself. (3:12)

Okay alright. Because my texts are the best thing about your Thursdays!


Ha! You're really thinking about this one, aren't you? (3:16)

You wish. (3:17)

It's ok, Kurt, 21, living in NY. Let it happen.

- 21 -

Contents ↑ (3:18)

Now who's conceited? (3:18)

Now who's in denial? (3:18)

Now who's about to end this conversation? (3:19)

Would that be you? (3:20)

See you next week, Blaine! (3:21)

You can't just leave whenever things get real! (3:22)

I can do a lot of things! Watch me. (3:23)

Is that supposed to impress me? (3:26)

You're already gone, aren't you? (3:30)

Which doesn't actually make sense. Who leaves their phone lying around for a whole week? (3:35)

Nobody. Nobody does that in the 21st century. So you're just ignoring me at this point. (3:37)

Which is fine. (3:40)

I'm really just talking to myself now, right? (3:41) Okay.

- 22 -

Contents ↑ ******

Sun 9 Nov (9:55am) And the squirrels, Kurt! What about the squirrels? (10:00)

Are you sleep-texting? (10:01) No.


Are you drunk? (10:02)

It's 10am on a Sunday! (10:04)

Exactly! It's 10am on a *Sunday*! (10:05)

Come on. (10:08)

...What about the squirrels, Blaine? (10:10)

How did they get here? Did somebody put them here or do they just come with the trees, like a package deal?


Am I sleep-texting? (10:13)

Dunno. Are you?

- 23 -

Contents ↑ (10:17)

You're in Central Park again, aren't you? (10:18)

Is this where you hang out every Sunday? (10:19)

And how do you come up with these questions? How? (10:20)

I'm serious! (10:21)

I'm sure you are! (10:22)

Why don't you just google it? I bet Google is a morning person. (10:26)

Sometimes I feel like people stopped thinking the moment Google came around. What if everyone relied on it all the time? It's a dead end. Someone has to come up with the stuff that's on there. (10:28) Oh god.


Look, why don't you just go back to bed before you hurt yourself? Can you do that? (10:31)

That doesn't answer my question. (10:33)

Squirrels, Blaine. Squirrels. I think we'll survive this one. (10:35)

Will we though? What if Nov 9th will forever be known as the Squirrel Apocalypse? Could you live with yourself then?

- 24 -

Contents ↑ (10:37)

What are you? (10:38)

I'm adorable. (10:40)

Let me get back to you on that one. (10:42)

I need to get coffee or else I will go and find the next squirrel and you do not want to know what's gonna happen then. (10:44)

So not a morning person! (10:45)

You think? (10:45) :P


Why do I start thinking that you just like winding me up? (10:47)

Google it! (10:47) ...


Does that mean I win? (10:55)

Would that shut you up? - 25 -

Contents ↑ (10:56)

Cause then yes, yes you win. (10:58)

Enjoy your coffee, Kurt!

- 26 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Three Tues 11 Nov (1:33pm) I hate Tuesdays. (1:55)

Not Mondays? (1:57)

No, Tuesdays. (1:59)

Do you like going against the tide in general or is that really how you feel? (2:03)

I don't hate Tuesdays ironically. What am I, a hipster? I really just hate them. (2:04) Why?


Because they're pointless. (2:08)

Care to elaborate? (2:15)

So everyone knows what to expect when it comes to Mondays, right? You go back to work or whatever

you go back to on your Mondays and it sucks but you know it's supposed to suck and that it sucks for everyone. You know how to deal with it and you've got some common ground. People like hating on

Mondays. It's a group sport. And then it's over and you think “Hey cool, we survived another Monday.“ But then Tuesday comes around and the group sport is forgotten because “Calm down, it's just a Tuesday“ and

it's useless. It's not the beginning of the week, it's not the middle of the week and good god, it's sure isn't the end of the week, is it? It just is. It just is and it sucks.

- 27 -

Contents ↑ (2:20) Wow.


That was... (2:26)

You read the word “elaborate“ and really went to town with it. (2:26)

Are you sure this is a general thing? (2:27)

Positive. (2:30)

So nothing out of the ordinary happened today? Nothing at all? (2:31) No.


I think I liked you better when you were sunshine and rainbows. (2:35)

Okay, maybe I don't feel like sunshine today. Maybe today I'm cloudy with sunny intervals. Would that still be okay? (2:36) Sure.


And what about cloudy with outbreaks of rain? (2:39)

Heavy rain?

- 28 -

Contents ↑ (2:39)

Patchy bits of light rain. (2:41)

Sure, yes. (2:43) Good.


How about full on hurricane? (2:45)

Are you a hurricane, Blaine? (2:45)

Not today. (2:47)

Then let's cross that bridge when we get there. (2:55)

Thank you. (2:56)

What for? (2:57)

For letting me elaborate. (2:59)

Anytime. ******

- 29 -

Contents ↑ Wed 12 Nov (1:03am) Did you know that a squirrel loses its fur if you feed it only peanuts? (1:06)

I did not know that! (1:08)

Well, apparently it's true. And the peanut isn't even a nut. (1:11)

Such wisdom at this late hour! (1:11)

How do you know that? (1:13)

I know things. (1:15)

Did you google squirrels, Kurt? (1:15)

I know things! (1:17)

You totally googled squirrels. I don't know whether to be touched or appalled. (1:17)

I do know things! (1:18) Kurt.


I'm very knowledgeable!

- 30 -

Contents ↑ (1:19)

Kuuuuurt! (1:21)

Okay fine, I googled it. I can't sleep and I do the stupidest things when I can't sleep. Happy? (1:24)

Very. (Not about your insomnia though.) (1:25)

What's your excuse? Wild party in the middle of the week? (1:28)

If only! I have to hand in an essay by tomorrow... (1:30)

But I'm printing it as I'm writing this. (1:31)

Ouch. I'm gonna try sleeping, then. Again. Goodnight! (1:34)

Good luck and goodnight! (1:37)

(You should try counting squirrels!) (1:38)

That's beneath me. Guess what I'm counting? (1:40)



Ignoring the weirdness that is you in 1...2...3...

- 31 -

Contents ↑ (1:43)

Tell me! (1:45)

Puppies throwing up on you. It's not a pretty sight. (1:47)

Cause that's not weird at all. (1:49)

It's your life, Blaine. It's real. (1:51)

I think you should go to sleep. (1:53)

But they just keep coming! How can you live like that? (1:53) Sleep.


Wed 12 Nov (5pm) I'm sorry about last night. I was up for 19 hours at that point. (5:33)

Relax! I think it was adorable. (5:34)

You think everything is adorable. You probably thought the puppy was adorable. (5:34) :P

- 32 -

Contents ↑ ******

Sat 15 Nov (12:35am) It's weird to not hear from you on a Thursday. (12:36)

Is it weird that I think it's weird? (12:48)

We already established your weirdness. Several times. Tell me something new! (12:49)

It's going to snow tomorrow. (12:50)

No it's not! (12:52)

What are you, the weather report? (12:54)

No, apparently that's you. And you're defective. (1:03)

Okay, I'm gonna tell you something. (1:04)

Remember Tuesday? (1:06)

The day that will forever be known as Blaine-could-be-a-hurricane-day from now on? (1:08)

It was “cloudy with...“ something. (1:09)

And remember when I had this shitty week in October? - 33 -

Contents ↑ (1:09) Yes?


Well, yesterday was a continuation of that. I said I got dumped, right? It wasn't soul-crushing, it wasn't

life-changing, I guess I didn't care enough for it to be much more than another unpleasantry in a week of

unpleasantries (or maybe that's what I want it to be? If I were insane, I'd ask my mother to analyze me, but I'm not, so... we'll never know!) – but it still sucks to see your ex loving someone else up on campus just weeks after. While you're having lunch. On the bench next to theirs. (1:17)

The situations you get yourself into... (1:18)

I'm sorry. (1:20)

I'm fine. Like I said, I guess it wasn't meant to be, but... (1:21)

It's still less than ideal. (1:22)

Did you confront her about it? (1:25)

Thank you!!! (1:25) ???


For once again making me laugh when I needed a laugh. (1:27) ????

- 34 -

Contents ↑ (1:29)

Okay, you were being serious, wow. (1:30)

No, I didn't talk to him at all. I fled. With dignity. But yeah, I got out of there as fast as I could, without looking like a fool. (1:35) Oh.


Oh? You don't think I can look anything but a fool, right? (1:38)

No. No, I'm pretty sure you were as graceful as a racehorse stung by a wasp. (1:39)

I guess I didn't want to assume. (1:40)

Assume away. (1:41)

Because it's true? (1:42)

What is? (1:42)

Blaine! You're ridiculous! (1:44)

I'm also very gay. Happy? (1:44)

Is it supposed to make me happy?

- 35 -

Contents ↑ (1:46)

I don't know. I thought maybe it would. (1:47)

Blaine. (1:47)

Sorry. Too much? (1:48)

I kind of set myself up for that one, didn't I? (1:50)

Kinda. (1:51)

On second thought, no. That crossed a line. I'm known for stupid jokes. Sorry. (1:52)

Always the gentleman. (1:54)

I keep forgetting that we don't actually know each other. (1:55)

Weird, huh? (1:57)

You were the one who wanted details a couple of weeks ago and now look what you got yourself into! (1:57)

Blaine. (1:59)

I know, I know. I'm established weirdness. I'm gonna shut up.

- 36 -

Contents ↑ (2:02)

Look, it's fine. Let's forget about it. This was about you feeling crappy and wanting to talk about it and nothing else. That's okay. (2:03)

And Blaine? (2:04) Yeah?


I have a boyfriend. So this doesn't have to be awkward. (2:16)

Oh. Okay. (2:18)

Phew. I thought I'd ruined this! (2:20)

My one and only text message-friendship based on wrong numbers and puppies? (2:21)

Yeah. That. (2:23)

You'd have to try a little harder than that. (2:24)

Noted! (2:27)

I'm gonna say goodnight for now, I've got a class tomorrow. Or today. Whatever now is. (2:28)

On a Saturday?

- 37 -

Contents ↑ (2:29)

Cruel, huh? (2:30)

Very. I'd file a complaint. (2:30)

Been there, done that. Goodnight! (2:31)

Sleep well! ******

Sun 16 Nov (1:37pm) How was Central Park? (2:05)

Did you get lost? (2:16)

Or maybe the squirrels got fed up with you trying to investigate their history and dragged you into their cave? (2:20)

(Because squirrels live in caves, everyone knows that...) ******

Tues 18 Nov (8:17pm) I hope your Tuesday was tolerable this time! ******

Thurs 20 Nov (3:04pm) It wasn't! But I'm used to it, right? Thank you, though.

- 38 -

Contents ↑ (4:30)

Who is this? (4:36)

I thought we were past that? (4:38)

And I thought you had manners. (4:39)

Are you seriously randomly replying to a text I sent two days ago? (4:40)

I'm sorry! (4:41)

Yes well... (4:42)

Are you mad at me?

(4:42) No?


Is that a question? (4:50)

You are mad at me! (4:51)

You could have been dead. (4:54)

I'm not dead! I'm just having one of those weeks. (5:01)

Did you really think I could've been dead?

- 39 -

Contents ↑ (5:02) No.


Hurt by the squirrel mafia? Maybe. (5:05)

There's no such thing! (5:07)

Since when are you the sane person in this relationship? (5:10)

Relationship? (5:11)

You know what I mean. (5:20)

Can I just say that I'm sorry and that it won't happen again? (5:21)

That doesn't explain it, though! (5:22)

You're not making this easy for me, are you? (5:25)

I never said I was easy. (5:26)

And I never said I was perfect. (5:28)


- 40 -

Contents ↑ (5:30)

Look, if you wanna be pissed at me for that, fine. But when did this start being a responsibility? (5:32)

...Blaine, calm down. I was only messing with you. You're not obligated to anything here, you know that. (5:35)

Okay good, cause I'm not gonna be around for the next week either and I don't want you to think that I'm dead and lying around in a ditch somewhere.




Shit. I'm sorry. Really really sorry. I'm tired, okay? I'm so very tired and things keep happening and... I'm sorry okay?


Do you want to talk about it? (11:47)

No, it's fine. But can you give me a week? (11:48) Sure.

- 41 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Four Thurs 27 Nov (7:30pm) Happy Thanksgiving, Kurt! (9:45)

Happy Thanksgiving, Blaine! (10:17) Hi.

(10:19) Hi.


I guess I owe you an apology. (10:22)

Before you say something else, can I go first? (10:22)

Yeah, sure. (10:29)

I've had some time to think about this and I'd like to state once and for all that you don't have to be worried about the things you share with me, even if it's something that's troubling you in your life. Especially then. You don't have to tell me anything, but you can. We may not know each other very well, but I like you and I like this weird pen pal (text pal?) thing that we've got going on. Maybe because we don't really know each other, we can talk about anything. (10:31)

And you need to stop apologizing. Whatever it was, I'm sure you had a good reason and I tend to snap at people whenever I'm stressed, so I get it. (10:33)

I could just delete your number if I wanted to, but I don't. - 42 -

Contents ↑ (10:36)

That's almost bordering on “sappy”. (10:38)

It wasn't that sappy! But yes okay, fine, be that way. Ruin my moment of honesty. (10:40)

I've had this whole speech prepared... (10:41)

You could still give me that speech! I like a good speech. (10:43)

No, now I just feel like a fool... (10:44)

You understand what I was trying to say there though, right? (10:46) Yes.

(10:48) Kurt?

(10:48) Yes?


I don't want to delete your number, either. (10:51) Sappy!


You started it! - 43 -

Contents ↑ (10:55)

So how was your day? (10:55)

Are you in NY? Or does your family live somewhere else? (10:59)

I'm in NY. (11:01)

You're actually from New York? (11:02)

No I'm from Ohio. (11:02)

That's freaky... (11:04)

What's freaky about Ohio? I always thought of it as a wasteland. (11:05)

I'm from Ohio. That's what's freaky! (11:05) Wow!


No... Really? (11:07)

Yes, why would I lie about being from Ohio? Who does that? (11:10)

Nobody. (11:11)

Wow. So you know what I'm talking about!

- 44 -

Contents ↑ (11:14)

Unfortunately. But we both escaped, right? (11:15)

We did, yeah. ******

Sun 30 Nov (11:02am) This is a Central Park text. (11:10)

My favorite. (11:12)

Where is your question, though? (11:12)

No question today. We're just enjoying this fine Sunday morning! Snow! First snow of the year! (11:13) We?


Bradshaw and I. (11:20) Okay...


Who's Bradshaw? (11:23)

Wait a second. (11:28)

Waiting! - 45 -

Contents ↑ (11:30)

Sorry, he's beside himself and just won't hold still long enough. Snow is his favourite. Can't blame him! (11:31)

What are you doing??? (11:32)

Hold on! (11:33)

You are starting to scare me. (11:34)

Don't be ridiculous. (11:34)

We're very friendly. (11:35)

Are you done now? (11:36)

Impatient! (11:37)

There. I'm covered in snow now. I hope you're both happy.

- 46 -

Contents ↑ (11:38)

You have a dog named Bradshaw? (11:39)

You have a dog?! (11:40)

He's not my dog. He's my neighbors dog. He's not exactly the youngest anymore (neither is Bradshaw, but he keeps forgetting that...) and I take his dog out for a walk every Sunday. (11:42)

The Central Park secret you've been keeping from me! (11:44)

I wouldn't call it a secret, but yes.


Wait. Wait a second. Is that the dog? (11:50)

What dog? (11:51)

You know – THE dog. (11:53)

I've got no idea what you're talking about. (11:53)

Oh, but it is! (11:55)

Bradshaw would like you to know that 10-year-old dogs have sensitive stomachs, thank you very much.


Best Sunday morning ever. - 47 -

Contents ↑ (12:01)

This isn't funny. (12:03) Sure.


I feel like I know you a little bit better now. (12:06)

Glad I could help. (12:09)

Enjoy your day in the snow! (12:11)

We're actually about to have coffee. It's getting cold. (12:12)

You and Bradshaw. (12:14)

Correct. (12:37)

What's his coffee order? (12:40)

A tall skinny caramel latte with an extra shot. (12:42)

Not bad. (12:44) Right?

- 48 -

Contents ↑ (12:45)

He says the caramel matches his fur. (12:49)

I think I like this dog. (12:52)

And I think I love him. ******

Tues 2 Dec (7:34am)


What are you trying to tell me? (7:41)

What am I... good god, Blaine, Tuesdays really do make you grumpy. (7:42)

And, because I know that, I'm sending you this picture of a squirrel who got adopted by a dog! (7:43) Why?

- 49 -

Contents ↑ (7:45) brighten your Tuesday! (7:48)

Clearly it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. (7:50)

I just got up. (7:52)

Yes. Okay. Cute. Thanks for the information. That doesn't change anything. My first part of the mission has failed. (7:55)

Mission? (7:56)

Shhhh. ~


Should I call the Secret Service? (9:45)

Don't be silly. This mission is for your benefit. (9:47)

And yet I'm scared. Why am I scared? (9:48)

You believe in the squirrel mafia. I bet frolicking fawns on a spring meadow give you the creeps. (9:51)

Are we talking about two fawns or more than five? - 50 -

Contents ↑ (9:52)

Forget about the fawns, Blaine! (9:59)

Are you busy today? (10:01)

I've got the afternoon off. (10:03) Why?


Just checking. ~


Do you know the coffee shop at 123 4th Avenue between 12th and 13th streets? (12:20)

I think so? (12:21)

Yes or no? (12:23) Yes.


Okay. I want you to go there and tell them your name. Any time today, but it has to be today. (12:26)

Now you're really starting to scare me. (12:29)

Just do it, Blaine. - 51 -

Contents ↑ ~




I want one!!! (1:24)

Kurt, can I have one?! (1:27)

Is this part of your mission? (1:33)

What's my mission? (1:39)

Luring me into a false sense of security with baby animals, while secretly planning to get rid of me in a coffee shop? (1:55) Close! ~

- 52 -

Contents ↑ (5:07pm)

Your mission. Whatever it is, I love it. (5:33)

Did you go? (5:34)

Yes I did. I can't believe you did that! (5:36)

So you're not scared anymore? (5:37)

Who'd be scared of free coffee? Not me. (5:40)

No, really, thank you. (5:41)

Did it brighten your Tuesday? (5:44)

Yes. Yes it did. (5:46)

Then you're quite welcome. (5:59)

Was this a one-time thing or do I get coffee every Tuesday from now on?


Don't push it. ~

- 53 -

Contents ↑ (10:34pm)

Are you friends with one of the baristas? (10:45)

Is that what you think about before going to bed? (10:47)

Are you? (10:50)

What if I was? (10:53) Omg!


“Omg”? Really, Blaine? (10:54)

You sneaky scheming... thing!!! (10:56)

You're delightfully eloquent tonight. (10:57)

I'm going to bed now, but this isn't over! ;) (10:59)

Yes. Want to know what's not over? My mission. (11:01)

I refuse to be scared. (11:03) Good.

- 54 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Five Wed 3 Dec (4:56pm) Did you talk to your friend yet? (5:10)

What friend? (5:11)

The friend at the coffee shop. (5:15)

I never said I had a friend at the coffee shop. (5:16)

But you did! (5:16)

Do you *want* me to have friend at the coffee shop? (5:19)

Are you really trying to make me believe that you told some random strangers that a guy named Blaine would be stopping by and that they were to give him whatever he wants? (5:20)

a) Strangers? They're my coffee people. b) Anything you want? (5:22)

a) So is that your regular coffee place? b) That's what they told me. (5:25)

a) Now, answering that would be reckless. b) That seems like a dangerous thing to say to you. I guess they didn't know better, I should have warned them.

- 55 -

Contents ↑ (5:27)

Were you there? (5:28) ?


At the coffee shop. Don't play dumb! ;) (5:33)

No, I wasn't. (5:35)

Yeah, just like you don't have a friend working there. (5:45)

You're such a stubborn skeptic. (5:46)

And you're full of shit! :P (5:47)

Hey now! Someone doesn't want another coffee next Tuesday... (5:49)

Sure, gives you another chance to have your friends spy on me. (5:53)

I really want to believe you weren't there. (5:54) Why?


You'd either be the second half of an old grumpy couple fighting over the right amount of sugar or a rude - 56 -

Contents ↑ business woman, who thought it would be okay to cut me off in line. Not to mention the weird kid with the Chad Kroeger haircut. (6:02) Well!


I could be anyone. (6:08)

But you weren't there. (6:10)

But I wasn't there. ******

Thurs 4 Dec (10:24am) This is going to be the most boring Thursday of my entire life. (10:25)

I suggest a Q&A. (10:45)

Who's doing the Q and who's doing the A? (10:55)

We'll take turns. Are you in? (10:56) I'm in.


Wait. Are there gonna be rules? (10:59)

Do you need rules?

- 57 -

Contents ↑ (11:04)

What if I don't want to answer something? (11:13)

What kind of questions do you think I'll be asking? (11:14)

But okay, you can use “squirrel” as your safe word. (11:17)

I feel like I'm not being taken seriously. (11:20)

And nothing but questions and answers all day. (11:20)

Agreed? (11:23)

Oddly determined, but agreed. (11:25)

I'll go first. (11:27)

Of course. (11:29)

Which school are you attending? (11:29)

Squirrel. (11:30) Blaine!

- 58 -

Contents ↑ (11:32) What?!


I'll be nice. You can ask another question. (11:45) Fine.


What's your favorite color? (Yes, that's what you get for being a spoilsport so early in the game.) (11:59)

Mature. (12:00) Red.


It's your turn. (12:35)

I know. Trying to come up with the perfect first question. (12:36)

Don't hurt yourself. (12:47)

Can you change a tire? (12:49)

Whatever happened to coming up with the perfect first question? (12:50)

Answering with another question is not allowed! (12:51)

That wasn't a rule. - 59 -

Contents ↑ (12:54)

It's a rule now. (12:55)

And shush. It was too much pressure so I went with the most random question instead. (12:57)

What if you actually thought this was the perfect first question, though? (12:58)


This is going so well. (1:02)

Yes, I can. (1:14)

Where did you grow up? (1:19)

Columbus. (1:20)

Is that close to where your family lives? (1:33)

It's a two-hour drive. Close enough? (1:34)

Is that your question? (1:35) No.


My question is: Which high school did you attend? (That's in the past. It should be safe to answer this one!)

- 60 -

Contents ↑ (1:55)

I graduated from Dalton Academy, Westerville. (1:59)

You're a prep school boy... Everything makes so much sense now. (2:01)

Were you always this obnoxious? (2:23)

Is that your question? (2:26) Yes.


Maybe. But maybe you just bring it out in me. (2:30)

Does your family still live in Columbus? (2:33) Yes.


Do you live with a roommate or on your own? (2:35)

There are two roommates. What student can afford a place on his own in NYC? (2:39)

If that's your question: I've got my own apartment. (2:44)

Why doesn't that surprise me? The boarding school gave you away.

- 61 -

Contents ↑ (2:45)

What is that supposed to mean? (2:46)

Are your parents filthy rich? (2:49)

Define filthy rich. They just wanted me to have an apartment. (2:55)

And you didn't? Because I could take it over for you. I'd be willing to make the sacrifice. (2:56)

Why are you the one asking all the questions? (3:01)

And no, I didn't. I'd rather live on campus, actually. (3:45)

So why don't you? (3:47)

You're breaking all the rules. (3:49)

Not all of them! (3:50)

But okay, your turn. (4:06)

What's your coffee order? (4:09)


- 62 -

Contents ↑ (4:11)

Is that a new item on the Starbucks menu? Because I haven't been to one in a while. (4:12)

It's my safe word. (4:17)

Since when do you have a safe word? And why do you need it for coffee related questions? (4:18)

Reasons, Blaine. Reasons. (4:26)

You're allowed to go again. (4:28)

What exactly are you studying? (4:30)

Fashion Design. (4:55)

Are you going home for the holidays this time? (4:59)

I don't think so, no. (5:01)

Why not? (5:02)

Rules, Kurt! (5:05)

Forget about the rules! How can you not go home for Christmas?

- 63 -

Contents ↑ (5:15)

My parents are busy. (5:16)

On Christmas?! (5:16) Yes.


Are you serious? (5:19)

Yes, positive. (5:24)

I'm sorry. (5:35)

Don't be. It's always been this way. (5:36)

That doesn't make it okay. (5:39)

I'm not a huge fan of Christmas anyway. (5:40)

Nonsense. (5:41)

Mission #2 is officially in planning mode. (5:41)

No! What?! - 64 -

Contents ↑ (5:42)

Shhhh. (5:43)

Your turn. (5:44)

What are you planning? (5:46)

McQueen. (5:46)

You cannot call McQueen now!!! (5:50)

I can. And I am. (5:55)

You can go again. (5:56)

What are you planning? (5:56)

Blaine. (5:58)

What are you planning? (5:59)

Are you stuck? (6:33) Fine.


What's the first sentence of the second chapter of the book that's closest to you?

- 65 -

Contents ↑ (6:38)

Why the second chapter? Isn't it always about the first sentence of the first one? (6:39)

No. People are too obsessed with first impressions. (6:40) Okay.


Can I cheat? This is the longest sentence in the history of sentences. My fingers bleed just by looking at it. (6:55)

Then give me your favorite sentence. (6:56)

Of the second chapter? (6:57)

Always the second chapter. (6:59)

“I think and I think and I think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.” (7:20)

That's a good one. (7:25) It is. ~


What does your boyfriend think about you texting me all day every day?

- 66 -

Contents ↑ (8:59)

1) It's my turn to ask a question. 2) Not all day *every* day. (9:03)

You asked way more questions than I did. I'm trying to work against this imbalance that you've created. (9:04)

And you haven't even asked me anything in over an hour. (9:06)

Dinner. I was having dinner. (9:07)

With your boyfriend? (9:21)

Why are you so obsessed with him all of a sudden? (9:22)

Because you never talk about him. (9:26)

Not to you. (9:27)

And why is that?


Don't you think we're balanced by now? (9:30)

I believe the quota is 11-8. (9:33)

That doesn't seem right.

- 67 -

Contents ↑ (9:56)

Would you let me buy you coffee on Tuesday? (9:58)

That's my thing! You're stealing my thing. Tuesdays are about you, because you are the one who hates them. (10:01)

Is that a no? (10:11)

Yes. Don't argue with me! (10:13)

I wouldn't. (10:36)

Would you let me buy you lunch? (10:37)

On Tuesday? (10:39)

No. Thursday. (10:40)

Why Thursday? (10:43)

It's our 10-week text pal anniversary.


That needs a better name. (10:47)

Wait. Are you suggesting that we meet?

- 68 -

Contents ↑ (10:49)

I didn't say that. (10:50)

Is that what you want? (10:52)

Oh no. No no no. Don't even try to twist this around. (10:53) Relax.


I'll text you the details. (10:57)

And as always, I'm both scared and intrigued. (10:59)

You should be. (11:02)

...Intrigued. Not scared. Never scared! I'm nice! I'm made of rainbows and fluff and fun, remember? (11:04)

I love how you always ruin your moments of mystery by being a dork. (11:06)

Goodnight, Kurt! (11:09)


- 69 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Six Fri 5 Dec (6:24pm) So yesterday was crazy. (6:45)

Tell me about it. I'm all texted out. (6:45)

It feels like a hangover. (6:47)

Should I feel insulted? (6:50)

Not at all! I was talking about the good kind. (6:51)

There's a good kind? (6:53)

Yes, it involves texting you. (6:54)

And the cure is... more texting! (6:55)

Like the cure to a real hangover is more drinking? (6:59)

Exactly. ******

Sat 6 Dec (11:04am) I need you to do something for me.

- 70 -

Contents ↑ (11:23)

Do I get to know what it is first? (11:25)

Not really, no. (11:26)

Is this part of one of your missions? (11:28)

You're so smart. (11:28)

This is part of mission #2. (11:30)

What do I need to do? (11:35)

Smart and trusting. (11:37)

Don't make me regret it! (11:38)

Never. Do you know the Balto statue in Central Park? (11:40)

Do I spend at least every Sunday morning in Central Park? (11:41)

I'll take that as a yes. (11:43)

I need you to be there at 3pm sharp.

- 71 -

Contents ↑ (11:45)

And ...look at the statue? (11:50)

Sure, why not. (11:52)

Kurt, you need to tell me more than that if you want me to go. My trust has limits. (11:53)

Trust doesn't have limits. Either you trust a person or you don't. (11:55)

Just tell me what to expect! (11:56)

Something magical. (11:56) Kurt.


Look, you're not going to get robbed or stabbed or the like. It's a public place and that spot is always packed with kids. Trust me. (12:04)

Take a friend. Or Bradshaw! He can protect you from the threats that you're making up in your head. (12:06)

Right. Clearly you've never met that dog. He greets strangers like long-lost soulmates. (12:08)

All strangers? (12:09)

All of them.

- 72 -

Contents ↑ (12:10)

Even the creepy ones? (12:11)

Even the creepy ones. (12:14)

Are you sure he's from New York? (12:16)

I'll never know for sure. (12:20)

So will you be there? Do you have the time? (12:21)

I'll think about it. ~

(4:23pm) Kurt.


KURT. (4:33)

Seriously. Kurt!!! (4:45)

Kurt. I'm hyperventilating. (4:47)

Kuuuuuurt. (4:49)

Yes! Yes, I'm here!

- 73 -

Contents ↑ (4:50)

Oh thank god. (4:51)

What's up? (4:52)

What's up?! (4:52)

How did you know? How?! (4:53)

Know what? (4:54)

That I've got a thing for a cappella groups!!! (4:55)

You've got a thing for a cappella groups? (4:57)

KURT! (4:59)

Fine, lucky guess. So you went after all? (5:01)

Yesssss. Oh yes. I did. I did and I loved it. (5:02)

Even the Christmas songs? (5:03)

Especially the... wait, what? - 74 -

Contents ↑ (5:03)

You sneaky bastard! (5:05)

What? Maybe I'm just familiar with that group and their repertoire. (5:06)

I don't know if my gratitude outweighs my anger about you spying on me again. (5:09)

I didn't spy on you! (5:11)

Can you see my trust fading? Can you? (5:12)

Blaine. I didn't spy on you. There were way too many people, hundreds, and I have no idea what you look like. (5:14)

Aha! So you're admitting it. (5:15)

Now I'm glad I didn't bring Bradshaw. (5:16)

Did you bring a friend? (5:17)

You don't get to know that. (5:20)

Fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. It was a beautiful sunny snow day. I heard about the performance and I thought you might enjoy it. No harm done. (5:21)

You liked it, right?

- 75 -

Contents ↑ (5:22) Yes...


And you don't regret going, right? (5:30)

I guess. (5:31)

No, I don't. (5:33)

It was good. (5:34)

Really good. (5:35)

I might have shed a tear or two... (5:37)

See! Did it get you into the Christmas spirit? (5:40)

Maybe. (5:41)

It was so beautiful that you cried, Blaine. (5:44)

A tear or two. (5:45)

Blaine. (5:45)

Okay, yes. Yes, it did. Happy? - 76 -

Contents ↑ (5:46)

Very. And so are you. (5:50)

What am I gonna do with you? (5:51)

You're going to adore me once this month is over. (5:52)

We'll see about that. ******

Sun 7 Dec (1:12am) Kurt?

(1:23) Yes?


Why didn't you tell me? (1:26)

That I was going to be there? (1:28) Yes.


Would you have come in that case? (1:30)

Maybe. - 77 -

Contents ↑ (1:31)

I don't know. (1:31)

There's your answer. (1:35)

Sleep well, Blaine. (1:36)

Goodnight. ~


How's Bradshaw? (11:11)

I'm worried about him. (11:12)

Why?? Is he sick? (11:14)

Yeah, in his mind. (11:16)

Wait a second; a picture should explain it all. (11:20)

He's been doing this for the past thirty minutes. And I'm starting to look the same.

- 78 -

Contents ↑ (11:23)

He sure likes his snow. (11:24)

The same? As in, on the ground making snow angels? (11:26)

No, the same as in covered in snow! (11:28)

Can I see a picture of that too? (11:30) Sure.


Hang on. (11:35)

Waiting. Once again. (11:38)

Patience! (11:40)

Are you having a photoshoot? (11:42)

How do I look?

- 79 -

Contents ↑


Positively adorable! (11:45)

A little cold, maybe. And I'm not sure if you're happy or not. (11:46)

What's that on your neck? (11:49)

A bow tie. (11:52)

Nice touch! ******

Tues 9 Dec (9:23am) Be sure to get your coffee some time between now and 8pm today! (9:29)

You're spoiling me! (9:36)

Just do it, Blaine. (9:37)

What if I don't want to?

- 80 -

Contents ↑ (9:38)

What if you're crazy? (9:40)

What if I am? (9:40)

What if you're being ridiculous and I'm rethinking the coffee thing? (9:44)

You wouldn't. (9:45)

I would. (9:46)

No, you wouldn't. ~


Damn, coffee has never been this welcome. Thank you! (4:49)

Can I tell you a secret? (5:02) Yes.


Your coffee shop is on my way to college. Or on my way home. Depends on how you look at it. (5:05)

My, my. If only I'd known that coffee in your veins makes you spill all your dirty secrets, I would have gotten you all the coffee in the world for our little Q & A.

- 81 -

Contents ↑ (5:08)

You now know my weakness. Please use this knowledge responsibly. (5:10)

Of course. (5:12)

Our schools are in the same neighborhood, aren't they? (5:15)

That's very likely, yes. (5:27)

Do you live close to yours? (5:28)

Very subtle, Blaine. (5:30)

It was worth a try! (5:59)

Will you tell me a secret now? (6:02)

It depends. I didn't realize it's national secret sharing day. (6:04)

Okay, let me put it this way. Will you answer me a question? (6:04)

Maybe. (6:05)

Do you know someone named Rachel? - 82 -

Contents ↑ (6:14) Kurt?

(6:15) Yes?


Do you? (6:20) Why?


Because she made my coffee today and when I told her my name when I ordered her eyes basically popped out of her head and I became the most interesting thing she had ever seen. Unicorn level of interesting. (6:45)

Your silence speaks volumes. (6:46)

What did she say to you? (6:47)

Nothing. Scared? (6:49) No.


I gotta say though, she's not exactly good at this spy thing. (6:55)

She's not a spy! She's just one of my coffee people! And she usually doesn't work on Tuesdays. I'm surprised she was there today.

- 83 -

Contents ↑ (6:56) Sure.


Are you gonna call her now and ask her all about me? ;) (6:59)

No, I'm not going to call her. (7:10)

Do you still want me to get my coffee next week? (7:12)

Of course. I've got nothing to hide. (7:17)

Good. ;) (7:18) Good.

- 84 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Seven Thurs 11 Dec (9:00am) In case you need to be reminded: don't forget to stop by the coffee shop today! (9:33)

Is it my turn now? (9:35) Yep.


Lunch? (9:40)

Kind of. Define lunch. (9:41)

Well, okay... slight change of plans. (9:43)

Changing my mood from excited to scared. (9:44)

It's time for you to trust *me* now. (9:44)

Yes. That's exactly what I'm scared about. (9:46)

This isn't a one-way street, Kurt!


I know. ~

- 85 -

Contents ↑ (1:35pm)

A cupcake, Blaine? That's so... (1:45)

Happy anniversary? :P (1:46)

And yes, I promised you lunch and maybe what you got instead was a lousy, lopsided cupcake, but I really tried. It's made with care. (1:48)

Wait. You made that yourself? (1:49)

... I thought that was pretty obvious. (1:51)

Okay, no more bashing your cupcake. It was actually delicious! Thank you. (1:55)

Good, because I ate 5 of them and thought so, too. (1:56) 5?


I had to try them! (2:02)

Yes, but 5? (2:04)

Just to be sure. I didn't want you to get food poisoning. You and the staff. (2:11)

You gave them cupcakes? - 86 -

Contents ↑ (2:12) Yes.


That makes me feel less special. (2:15)

Yours was extra special! And they're your coffee people, they deserved it. (2:17)

An extra special "lousy, lopsided cupcake"? (2:22)

Hey! You said it was delicious! (2:24)

It was. See the quotation marks? (2:46)

Are you blackmailing my coffee people? (3:01) Not














I think they're pretty fond of me now. (3:02)

We bonded. (3:04)

And by "we" I mean Rachel and me. (3:04)

Girls love me. (3:09)

Good for you. (3:10)

I think. - 87 -

Contents ↑ (3:15)

You've trained her well. Or you threatened her. Which is much more likely. (3:16)

We made a deal. (3:18)

A deal? (3:20)

She doesn't get to talk to you about me if you keep her from talking to me about you. (3:26)

Hypothetically, if this were all true, how would you have achieved that? (3:28)

Cupcakes, Kurt, cupcakes. Never underestimate the power of cupcakes and a charming smile. (3:45)

Would that be your smile? (3:47)

Maybe. (3:48)

Actually, 100% yes. (3:51)

Why am I providing you with free coffee, again? (3:53)

Because I charmed my way into your life and now you can't imagine living without me? (3:55) Sure.


Why does being nice always backfire on me? - 88 -

Contents ↑ (4:02)

I have no idea what you're talking about. ~


What makes you think she knows something about me? (6:33)

Please. (6:34)

What? (6:36)

Unicorn level of interesting, remember? (6:55)

I bet you just had something on your face. (6:56)

Yeah, my charming smile. (6:59)

I don't even know what to say to that. (7:04)

Because you've been charmed! (7:05)

I can't see you right now, Blaine. (7:08)

But you can feel it. - 89 -

Contents ↑ (7:11)

Sometimes I wonder how one person alone can be such a dork. (7:14)

I'm a mystical, magical creature. ******

Fri 12 Dec (9:45am) Do you like late-night walks? (10:04)

Um... sure? (10:11)

I need you to go for a walk in Brooklyn after 7pm. When it's dark. (10:13)

Kurt. We talked about this. I do not have a thing for serial killers! Some people do, but I'm not one of them. (10:15)

Do we really have to go through this again? I promise, you will like it and there will be people around. It's perfectly safe. (10:17) Right.


Have I ever let you down? (10:21) No.


Not yet. - 90 -

Contents ↑ (10:34)

Ignoring the last part. (10:55)

Your walk takes place between 13th and 10th Ave from 82nd to 86th street. (10:57)

That's oddly specific. (11:00)

Of course it's specific. I don't want you to randomly walk around Brooklyn after dark. What kind of treat would that be? (11:02)

We're calling these little missions of yours 'treats' now? (11:03) Yes.


So I want you to go there, either tonight or tomorrow. Remember, after 7pm. But definitely before 10pm. (11:07)

And I want you to take a picture of your favorite thing and send it to me. (11:10)

You call it a treat, I call it a suicide mission. (11:12)

Drama queen. (11:15)

You're awfully demanding and rude for someone who claims to be goodwilling. (11:16)

And you don't know what's good for you. ~

- 91 -

Contents ↑ (9:34pm) Holy shit. (9:45) ?


I'm sorry. (9:46)

What for? (9:47)

For doubting you. (9:49)

You went and you loved it like I knew you would. Say it! (9:51)

Say what? (9:51)

Just say it. (9:53)

What? (9:53)

Blaine. (9:55)

Okay. Okay, it was lovely. In a crazy and over the top kind of way, but I loved it. (9:56)

I have no idea how you think of these things. - 92 -

Contents ↑ (9:57)

Do you have a book called "101 ways to make someone love Christmas"? (10:01)

No. But I do have a book called "101 ways to make Blaine love Christmas". It came with "100 ways to make Blaine like Tuesdays". 2 for 1! (10:04)

And still you keep saying I'm the dork. (10:05)

Because it's the truth. (10:08)

Whatever makes you sleep at night. (10:12) Oh and

- 93 -

Contents ↑ (10:15)

That was your favorite? (10:17) Yes.

(10:18) Why?


It looked like a real home. (10:20)

They're all real homes. (10:24)

I know, but this one didn't feel staged. It looked warm, lived in. (10:25)

It didn't look perfect and that's what made it perfect. (11:01)

Wrong answer? (11:03)

No. Perfect answer. ******

Sat 13 Dec (4:05pm) Can you believe all the snow? (4:23)

Are we talking about the weather now? (4:25)

I wanted to talk to you. I've got nothing to talk about. So this is what I talk about.

- 94 -

Contents ↑ (4:27)

That's... refreshingly honest, I suppose. (4:34)

Actually, do you ever just lie on your bed and stare at the ceiling? (4:35)

Is that what you're doing right now? (4:36) Yes.


Are you okay? (4:38)

Yeah, I'm just having a really lazy Saturday. (4:41)

If you're lying on your bed, why do you even care about the snow? (4:42)

Like I said, I just wanted to talk to you. (4:43) I see.


I'm touched. (4:45)

But you said that you don't have anything to talk about, so what are we going to talk about? (4:47)

You're going to tell me about your next treat.

- 95 -

Contents ↑ (4:48)

That's not going to happen. (4:48) Kurt.

(4:49) Never.


Please. (4:52) No.


Fine. I'll just keep lying here, staring at my ceiling. And I'm gonna be miserable. Do you want that? Do you want me to be miserable? (4:59)

1) You said you were having a lazy Saturday, so don't even try to make me feel bad about this. 2) You'll just have to wait and see. I'm doing this to make you feel better and you know that. Plus, they've always been surprises and that's part of what makes them good. (6:01)

I hate that that makes sense. ******

Sunday 14 Dec (10:02am) Kurt.

(10:03) Kurt!


Kurt. Are you awake?

- 96 -

Contents ↑ (10:10) Yes.


Now I am. (10:12)

I made a new friend at the park today!!! (10:14) Blaine.


Blaine, honey, you are 5. (10:17)

Do you wanna see? Do you? (10:18)

Yes, you do.


Just when I wanted to be annoyed with you for waking me up and being a ridiculous puppy, when I'm still stumbling through my quest for coffee, you do something like that. - 97 -

Contents ↑ (10:22)

Something like what? (10:24)

Like *that*. (10:25)

I named it. (10:27)

I'm sure you did. (10:27)

Watson. (10:30)

Watson. You named a squirrel Watson. (10:31) Yes!


Did you take him home with you? (10:33)

No. He's a free spirit. Can't be tamed. (10:36)

And what did Bradshaw have to say about this new friend? Doesn't he hunt squirrels? (10:38)

No. He knows better than to mess with the squirrel mafia. (10:43)

Sometimes. Sometimes I just... - 98 -

Contents ↑ (10:46)

I know, Kurt. I know. Sometimes I can't handle my adorableness either. :D (10:48)

Not what I was going to say (10:49)

Please. Exactly what you were going to say. ~~~~~~Blaine’s walk

- 99 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Eight Tues 16 Dec (3:45pm) Tuesdays. Tuesdays just aren't the same anymore, Kurt. (3:59)

...What about these new Tuesdays? (4:01)

It's silly. (4:05)

What is? (4:06)

Knowing that there's a cup of coffee waiting for me almost makes me forget that I kind of hate Tuesdays. That's silly. (4:09)

Almost? (4:11)

Well, there are problems that even coffee can't solve. (4:13)

But coffee - coffee is a hug in a cup and a hug is always a good place to start, don't you think?


Wait. Isn't tea supposed to be a hug in a cup? (4:20)

Tea is for when you're sick. (4:23)

And sick people don't need hugs?

- 100 -

Contents ↑ (4:24)

Different kind of hugs. (4:26)

So, coffee is...? (4:29)

Coffee is everything that's good in this world. (4:30)

Wow. You really do love your coffee. (4:33)

You think? ******

Wednesday 17 Dec (5:23pm) It's time. (5:45) For?


Museum of Natural History. Any day you want, but preferably this week. Otherwise you'd mess up my schedule. (5:47)

Schedule. (5:48)

We have a schedule now? (5:50)

Yes. This is serious business.

- 101 -

Contents ↑ (5:51)

My treats are serious business. (5:51)

Correct. (5:59)

What's so special about the AMNH? (6:00)

Well, apart from the obvious. (6:04)

Blaine, please. (6:06)

Your ticket will be at the museum's box office; they know you're coming. You'll get directions from there. (6:08) Kurt.


Seriously, Kurt. Do you have friends everywhere or do you just know how to pull strings? (6:11)

My methods shall remain secret. (6:13)

Of course. (6:18)

How long is this gonna take? The treat, I mean. (6:20)

Depends. I guess you could stay there for 5 minutes or the entire day. It's your choice. (6:21)

Although I do have a little task for you.

- 102 -

Contents ↑ (6:25)

A task? But this is supposed to be a treat. (6:27)

And it is. Doesn't mean you won't have to work for it. (6:28)

That's new. (6:30)

This is where we go back to you trusting me. You'll enjoy it, I'm sure. (6:31) Okay.


What's my task? (6:48)

Details when you get there. (6:48)

That's what I thought. ******

Thurs 18 Dec (2:05pm) This is my last boring Thursday class. (2:06)

For the year? (2:06)

Yes. And it's going to be even more boring now that I've already passed it. What's the point?

- 103 -

Contents ↑ (2:07)

Why don't you skip it, then? (2:08)

Blaine. When I first told you about this back in October, you said I should pay attention. Now you're telling me to leave? I'm shocked. It's like I don't even know you anymore. (2:09)

Maybe you're having a bad influence on me. Or maybe it really doesn't matter, because you've already passed. (2:10) Both.


I can't just leave now. (2:11)

Did the class already start? (2:11)

No, but I'm already seated. (2:11)

And what about the teacher? (2:12)

Hasn't arrived yet. (2:12)

Get out of there. Quick! (2:13)


- 104 -

Contents ↑ (2:13) Do it!


And then what? (2:14)

And then you go do something nice, something you like. (2:15)

I bet finals are just as exhausting for you as they are for me. (2:16)

You're to blame if something goes wrong. (2:16)

Don't be ridiculous. What could go wrong? (2:17)

Okay. Okay, I'm doing it. (2:19) Yes! :)


You're acting like you're the one who just managed to get the afternoon off. (2:23)

I'm living through you. (2:25)

Actually, could you go grab a burger and describe the experience to me? Thanks.


Instant regret.

- 105 -

Contents ↑ (2:28) Pizza?

(2:29) No.

(2:30) Fries?


You're gross. (2:41)

Wait. That's your idea of doing something nice? (2:44)

Would that be so wrong? Food, Kurt. Delicious food. (2:46)

You sound just like my brother. (2:49)

Oh, there's a brother? (2:50)

Yes. And, believe me, you do not want to sound like him. (2:55)

You're just making puppy eyes right now, aren't you? (2:56) No?


How did you know? (2:59)

I'm on to you. - 106 -

Contents ↑ (3:01)

And I'm not impressed. Now go get that burger. (3:04)

Sometimes I wish I knew your last name, because in moments like these, you really don't deserve to be called by your first one. (3:06)

Less texting, more burgers. (3:09)

Goodbye, B! I cannot talk to you anymore in fear of brain damage. (B either stands for bastard, bossy, brat, basket case, or baffoon. Or Bush. As in George W. You choose.) (3:11)

I love it when you get creative. (3:13)

But I actually think B stands for baby. I'm 100% sure. (3:15)

Yes, because you're 5. (3:17)

Please. 5 ½. ~


What did you end up doing? (5:45)

I went to get coffee. (5:47)

Ha! See! Everything that's good in this world.

- 107 -

Contents ↑ ******

Sat 20 Dec (12:01pm) There's a line. (12:05) What?


At the museum. There's a line. (12:06)

I'm sorry? (12:07)

Wait. Are you live-texting this? (12:08)

I might be. (12:10)

That's a first. (12:11)

Maybe I'm doing it because this is the first time I've had to wait. (12:11)

And the suspense is killing you. (12:12)

Actually, yes. (12:13)

This is exciting!

- 108 -

Contents ↑ (12:13)

We'll see. Going in now. (12:18)

Is this gonna be a scavenger hunt? (12:20)

Not really, you're just taking one tiny detour. (12:21)

Is that your handwriting? (12:23)

Of course it is. (12:23) Huh.

(12:24) What?


Don't laugh, but that kind of makes you more real. (12:28)

I'm quite real, Blaine. (12:30) I know.


Okay. First stop: North American Mammals. Why? (12:34)

What does the note say?

- 109 -

Contents ↑ (12:36)

It says I should go there to visit my friends. (12:45)

...the squirrels, Kurt?! How very morbid of you. (12:48)

What? Why?! (12:50)

They're dead. (12:51)

But they'll always be there. That makes them eternal. (12:55)

Okay, I guess that's not the worst way to end up for a squirrel. I'll ask Watson about this tomorrow. (1:11)

Second stop: Milstein Hall of Ocean Life, because “it's one of my favorite places to be in New York.” Really? (1:13) Yes.


I dare you to sit down or even better, lie down and look up. (1:17)

They let you do that? (1:20)

Sure. The kids do it all the time. (1:22)

And you? (1:23)

And me. - 110 -

Contents ↑ (1:24)

No really, do it. (1:27) Okay.


This is nice. I can see the appeal. (1:33)

It's calming. (1:45)

Wow, okay, I could stay here all day.


When do they close again? (1:59)

This does make me quite happy, but you've still got a third and final stop. (2:03)

Mhhhhhh. Just a little longer. (2:05)

Are you mocking me now? (2:09)

No!! I swear, this feels like therapy. (2:13)

How come I didn't know about this? (2:15)

I guess you're welcome? (2:16)

Thank you. - 111 -

Contents ↑ (2:33)

Are you still there? (2:35) ...yes?


And you're actually lying down? (2:36) Yes.


All this time? (2:38)



They do close before 6pm, you know. (2:40)

I know. (2:42)

Remember when I said I was staring at my ceiling? (2:44) Yes?


This is that, only SO much better. (2:52)

Okay. Moving on. I can do this. (2:54)

Grand Gallery, here I come.

- 112 -

Contents ↑ (2:59)

This is the Christmas part of the treat. (2:59)

I... I can see that. (3:01)

Damn. (3:03)

How do you come up with these things, Kurt? (3:05)

I didn't build the tree. (3:06) Still.


Can I open the second note now?


Yes, go ahead. (3:12)

I just laughed out loud. People are staring. (3:13)

I'm not sure I know how to do that. (3:15)

There are people there to help you. (3:18)

But it's mostly kids doing it! (3:19)

And you're 5. You can do this.

- 113 -

Contents ↑ (3:19)

Sorry, 5 ½. (3:22)

Does it have to be something specific?


Whatever you want. Just remember to send me a picture! (3:33)

These kids are so much better than me, holy shit.


There's this amazingly talented girl next to me. I could steal hers and pretend it's mine. (3:42)

She's side-eyeing me now, though. (3:43)

Damn, my plan is flawed. (3:45)

Come on. (3:46)

This is my 4th try... (3:50) 5th.

(3:55) 6th.

(4:03) YES!


Okay, I admit that I had help. But I'm proud of this. Don't mock me.

- 114 -

Contents ↑


I would never mock this! I'm impressed. (4:11)

It could be Bradshaw. After he's eaten too much. (4:12)

Or after he's rolled around in the grass instead of snow. (4:14)

Grass doesn't do it for him. (4:21) Kurt?

(4:22) Yes?


This has been my favorite.

- 115 -

Contents ↑ (4:27)

Your favorite treat? (4:28) Yes.


I'm glad. (4:30)

But I do hope that there's still room for a little more. (4:33)

Always. Bring it on! (4:35)

You bet. :) ~~~~~~

Milstein Hall of Ocean Life

- 116 -

Contents ↑ Origami Holiday Tree / Grand Gallery

- 117 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Nine Sun 21 Dec (8:30am) Kurt?


Good morning, Blaine. (8:46) Hi. :)


It's really early. (8:50) Is it?


Maybe. Bradshaw and I like early when it comes to Central Park Sundays. I like the quiet and he likes the fresh snow. (8:53)

So... I wanted to say something. No, wait. Did I wake you up?? (8:55)

It's fine. (8:56)

I did, didn't I? (8:59)

Not really, no. It's okay. (8:59)

What did you want to say?

- 118 -

Contents ↑ (9:01)

Just... I really think it doesn't get better than yesterday. Maybe you should stop, because there's no way you can beat that. (9:02)

Why would I want to beat my own treats? (9:03)

Do you want me to stop? (9:05)

No. Never. (9:07)

But maybe I thought about the fact that this will end on Christmas, and if it has to end, why shouldn't it end with that perfect Saturday? (9:09)

Who says it has to end? (9:10)

Well, this was all about making me like Christmas, wasn't it? (9:11)

It didn't start out that way. (9:12)

Think about the coffee, for example – there will always be coffee. (9:14)

'Always'. Be careful with your words. ;) (9:14) I am.


Okay, good. Because there'll always be room for coffee in my life. - 119 -

Contents ↑ (9:19)

Are you still in NYC? (9:20)

Yes, but I'm leaving tomorrow. (9:21)

And you're still staying? (9:21) Yes.


Are you... I mean, will you... What are your plans for Christmas? (9:25)

Will I be alone? No. (9:25)

I'm having dinner at a friend's house on Christmas Eve. (9:26)

And then? (9:29)

And then on Christmas morning, I will walk the dog. I will come home and warm up and open the presents

that my parents remembered to send my way. I will sit down in front of my non-existent fireplace, read a book and drink some tea. (Yes, I do drink tea.) And then I'll walk the dog again, because Mr Donovan

(that's my neighbor) isn't really good with the snow these days and “You keep forgetting that I've got a bad leg and a bad back, Blaine Theodore, and compared to me you're basically a toddler.” And then, I will go to bed. (9:31)

Blaine Theodore?

- 120 -

Contents ↑ (9:32)

He demanded to know my middle name when we first met and he's called me that ever since. I tried to make him stop, but he's stubborn like that. (9:33) Mmh.


Blaine? (9:34) Yes?


Did I cheer you up at all? (9:36)

Maybe it was naĂŻve of me to think that I could change anything with stupid little missions. (9:37)

Oh no. Please don't think that. Don't ever think that. You were amazing. (9:37)

Are amazing. (9:38) But?


But maybe I'm just having one of these days. (9:41)

Blaine. (9:41)


- 121 -

Contents ↑ (9:42)

Blaaaaaine. Don't bullshit me. (9:44)

Kurt. Kurt! You said 'bullshit'. (9:44)

I believe I did. (9:47)

Okay. Okay, so maybe when I got home yesterday there were all these presents from my parents. (9:48) And?


And maybe a part of me thought that this year it would be different. (9:49)

Listening. (9:51)

Well, now that the presents are here, I'm not gonna get a surprise visit, am I? And I'm so stupid to think that things could be different. So very stupid. (9:53)

God, I'm sorry. It's early on a Sunday morning and all I wanted to say is how much I liked yesterday and look where that got me. (9:54)

Don't worry about it. Remember when I told you that you could tell me anything you want? (9:55)

'Anything'. So careless with your words again.

- 122 -

Contents ↑ (9:56)

I'm always careful. (9:57) Okay.


I won't bother you any longer. My Sunday coffee awaits me. (9:59)

Blaine. Don't make me get angry with you! (10:01)

What? Why?! (10:03)

You're never bothering me. (10:05) Okay.


Now go before Bradshaw gets all cranky. You're keeping him from his coffee! (10:09)

Yes, sir. ~~~


Guess who just walked in? (10:47) Santa?

- 123 -

Contents ↑ (10:48)

You should get your pretty little butt over here! (10:48) Why?


He's here. (10:51)

Who? Santa? But he's already got my wish list. (10:53)

Very funny. You know who. (10:55)

No, Rachel. I really don't. (10:56)

Lonely Boy. Your mystery guy. The one we don't talk about. Never talk about, unless I want you to snap at me. Your Blaine. (10:59)

He's not my Blaine. Stop saying that. (10:59)

Wait... what is he doing there??? (11:02)

He's having coffee. What else? ;) (11:04)

But it's Sunday. (11:05)

I guess he can be spontaneous, too. - 124 -

Contents ↑ (11:06)

You should just get back to work. (11:06)

And you should come over and visit me. Keep me company. The bagels are exceptional today. (11:08) Rachel.


Relax, I won't tell him anything. We've got a deal. (11:10)

Yes, and I know just how good you are at keeping your mouth shut. (11:12)

I'm heading out for brunch anyway. (11:13)

With Ethan? (11:14)

Yes, with Ethan. (11:17) Fine.


You never told me he had a dog. Or a boyfriend. (11:25)

He doesn't have a boyfriend. (11:26)

Are you sure?

- 125 -

Contents ↑ (11:27)

Yes. Why? (11:29)

He's here with someone. (11:30)

Say, what does that do to you, Kurt? (11:30)

So much for the deal you made with him. (11:31) Kurt.

(11:33) Rachel.

(11:34) Kurt.

(11:34) Rachel.


Okay, okay. Go have your stupid brunch. But this isn't over. (11:37)

I love you too, Rachel. (11:43)

He's cute. (11:44) Who?

- 126 -

Contents ↑ (11:45)

The other guy. (11:47)

For the love of... just stop. (11:48)

Have a lovely brunch, Kurt! :) ~~~


This is sort of short notice, but can you make it to the coffee shop today since you're leaving tomorrow? (2:59) Why?


Because I left you a little something and I want you to have it before Christmas. (3:05)

You didn't get me a Christmas present, did you? Because you really didn't have to. (3:06)

It's not a present. Just... a tiny, tiny thing. Silly, really. (3:08) Okay. ~~~


Can you bring the thing he left with you home tonight?

- 127 -

Contents ↑ (3:19)

Who left what with me? (3:21)

Rachel, come on. (3:23)

Why don't you come over and get it yourself? (3:25)

Is he still there?


Mysterious Blaine? Of course not. (3:30)

Can you please just bring it home? I'm packing. (3:32)

Only because it's Christmas. ~~~ (6:33pm)

You never told me you were good at making origami squirrels! (6:39)

It's a talent I didn't think I had. Besides, I can have secrets, too. ;) (6:40)


- 128 -

Contents ↑ (6:41)

You know that I had help. (6:43) Yes.


Thank you. (6:46)

You're welcome. ******

Mon 22 Dec (11:45am) Not sure if you're already up in the air, but have a good journey home! :) ~~~


I just landed, actually. It was as pleasant as these trips can be. (2:33)

Oh and Blaine? (2:45) Yes?


Tomorrow, around 4:15pm, Brooklyn Bridge. (2:49)

What will I be looking for? (2:50)

You'll see the light.

- 129 -

Contents ↑ (2:51)

Literally or figuratively? (2:53)

Who knows? (2:55)

As usual, I'm intrigued. ******

Tues 23 Dec (4:01pm) I'm early and I'm cold. (4:06)

1) Why are you early? 2) Why aren't you wearing appropriate winter clothes? (4:08)

1) Because. 2) I am. (4:09)

So wordy. (4:11)

It's really cold, okay? Makes typing hard. (4:13)

You could dance. (4:13)

I'm not dancing on Brooklyn Bridge. (4:16)

Your loss.

- 130 -

Contents ↑ (4:19)

Kurt. Kurt, why am I here? (4:21)

You're smart - figure it out. (4:24)

Why do I even... oh... okay. (4:25)

Is it happening? (4:26)

I think it's happening. (4:30)

Okay. Yeah. I can see why you made me come here. This is beautiful. (4:33)

Why is this so beautiful? (4:35)

I'm glad you think so. (4:36)

Who wouldn't? (4:38)

People. (4:39)

I hope you're not disappointed. I know you said it doesn't get better than Saturday, but I pegged you for someone who appreciates the little things. (4:40)

Are you kidding? I meant it when I said this is beautiful.

- 131 -

Contents ↑ (4:45)

I know these treats were all about Christmas, but they were about New York, too. Sometimes I forget that this city is breathtaking and that I came here for a reason. You keep reminding me of that. (4:46)

Now I don't really know what to say... (4:47)

You don't have to say anything. (4:47)

Just let me stand here and send you my gratitude. (4:49)

I can do that. (4:50)

Blaine? (4:51) Yes?


Merry Christmas. (4:52)

Merry Christmas to you too, Kurt. ~~~~~~

- 132 -

Contents ↑

- 133 -

Contents ↑

- 134 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Ten Wed 24 Dec (9:33am) So I 'pulled some strings,' as you called it, and I think you're going to love this. (9:34)

I thought we were done with the Christmas treats. (9:44)

That's what I thought as well. But 1) Christmas isn't even over yet and 2) this is not exactly a new treat. (9:45)

3) I do what I want. (9:46)

But will I do what you want me to do? (9:47) Yes.


Someone's awfully confident. (9:50)

Blaine, don't embarrass yourself. You'll go. We both know that. (9:51)

Ignored. (9:54)

So what is it? (9:55)

I got you into AMNH again. For today. (9:57)

You make it sound like New York's newest addition to the club scene.

- 135 -

Contents ↑ (9:57)

Shhhh, only the cool people know about this. (9:59)

Can I stay in Ocean Hall for the entire time? (9:59)

Of course. In fact, I encourage it. (10:01)

Why though? (10:01)

Why do I encourage it? (10:02)

No. Why are you doing this again? (10:04)

Well, Blaine Theodore, sometimes I *do* listen to you, you know? (10:04)

I knew telling you would be a mistake. I knew it. (10:05)

Telling me what? :) (10:05)

And I can't even be mad at you. (10:06)

Told you so! Now, what are you waiting for? (10:07) I can't.

- 136 -

Contents ↑ (10:08)

Oh. But... why? I should've told you earlier, right? I sort of came up with it this morning, sorry. (10:08)

Oh I'll go. But right now I've got someone sleeping on me. (10:12) Okay.


But I will definitely go once he's up. (10:15) Okay.


But maybe I'm just going to wrap myself around him now and never leave this apartment. It's cold outside and he's deliciously warm.

(10:19) Okay...

(10:21) Kurt?

(10:22) Yes?


Relax. ;)

- 137 -

Contents ↑


I am relaxed. (10:27) Mhm.

(10:29) I am.


Oh yeah. (10:32)

What is wrong with you today? (10:33)

Nothing. Nothing wrong at all. (10:40)

Wait. Does he live with you now? (10:41)

Kind of. (10:43)

How come? (10:46)

Mr Donovan said Bradshaw likes me better, but to be honest, I think he's having a hard time taking care of - 138 -

Contents ↑ him all by himself. A walk every other morning isn't enough anymore. He might be 10 (Bradshaw, not my neighbor), but he doesn't really act like it. (10:48)

Only when he chooses to collapse on you. (10:49)

Excuse me? Are you trying to say that exhaustion is his only reason? (10:49) Maybe.


Pfffff. I'm extremely comfortable and cuddly. I'm an excellent sleeping place. (10:51)

Well, I wouldn't know. (10:52)

And what a shame that is. (10:55) Blaine.


Sorry, but I had to. (10:58)

I think someone spiked your eggnog. (10:59)

It's not even 12 yet! (11:01)

Doesn't stop you from being... well... like this. - 139 -

Contents ↑ (11:04)

Kurt. Kurt, it's the 24th and I don't feel miserable. This is a good thing. In all seriousness now. (11:05)

Damn, I can't be mad at you either. (11:05)

Family is calling. Please continue to have a good time! I mean it. You and your dog. :) (11:09)

He's not my... well, I guess he kind of is my dog now. (11:09) Huh.


Oh god, I have a dog. (12:33)

You're thinking of that *now*?? (12:35)

I guess it hasn't sunk in yet. (12:35)

Is it a bad or a good feeling? (12:36) Good.


Well, there you go. He's your first Christmas present. (12:38)

In that case, I'm on my way to get my second present. (12:39)

Which is? - 140 -

Contents ↑ (12:40)

Ocean Hall, silly! (12:41)

Well, in *that* case – enjoy! And remember to lie down! (12:43)

Naturally. ~~~



That would actually be nice right now.

- 141 -

Contents ↑ (2:11)

As much as I love my family and being back for the holidays... It can be a bit much. Not in a bad way, but it's exhausting at times. (2:12)

You could always lie down in your room for 5 minutes and pretend. (2:13)

And you could listen to the music I'm listening to. (2:14)

Mhhh. And what would that be? (2:15)

Since I'm on my phone, I only have a youtube link for you, sorry. (2:15) (2:16)

You can also pretend that I'm playing it.


In a museum? (2:17)

Shhhh, just go with it. (2:18)

Wait... you play the piano? Like that? (2:18) Yeah.


Like that?? - 142 -

Contents ↑ (2:19) Yes. ;)


It's sort of what I do. (2:20)

Playing the piano? (2:20)

Music. (2:20)

I guess I never told you that. (2:21)

No. No, you didn't. (2:21)

This is nice. (2:22)

What is? (2:22)

Lying here. (2:23)

Are you actually taking your 5 minutes? (2:23)

It's 6 minutes and 32 seconds, I believe. (2:24)

This *is* nice. (2:24)

It was your idea. - 143 -

Contents ↑ (2:25)

Yeah, but sometimes I surprise myself. (2:26)

I'm not surprised. ~~~


Can you please come over a day earlier than planned and slap me? (2:38)

Anything for you. But why? (2:38)

Because I feel like I'm about to do something stupid. (2:39)

Like what? Open all your presents early? (2:39) No.


Like call Blaine. (2:41)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (2:42) ...


Sorry. What I wanted to say was: what are you waiting for?

- 144 -

Contents ↑ (2:43)

Rachel. Come on, you're the only one I can talk to about this. (2:44)

And look, we're talking about it. (2:45)

So before you call him, do you want me to tell you what he looks like first? Because I'm sure he wouldn't mind me breaking our deal for this. (2:46)

Okay, let's forget I ever said anything. (2:46) Kurt.


Rachel. (2:47) Kurt.


Rachel. (2:48)

Tomorrow. Tomorrow we're going to talk about this. In person. So that I can grab and shake you. (2:48)

No. Believe it or not, this already helped. (2:49)

So you're going to call him? (2:49) No.

- 145 -

Contents ↑ (2:50)

I blame Christmas. Christmas makes me stupid. (2:51)

Wrong. It makes you the exact opposite. (2:52)

See you tomorrow, Rachel! (2:52)

You cannot escape me. (2:53)

Oh, I learned that the hard way. ******

Thurs 25 Dec (1:32am) I need to show you something. (1:33)

I bet you're already asleep, so I'm just gonna leave this here for you to watch in the morning. (1:34)

Or whenever you want to. (1:35)

Whenever, really. (1:35)

I'm awake. (1:36)

Oh okay. Hi. (1:37) Hey.

- 146 -

Contents ↑ (1:37)

Show me what? (1:39)

I told you I went to have dinner at a friend's house tonight. And I took Bradshaw. Because... well, he's kind of my dog now and that's what good dog owners do. (1:40)

Blaine Theodore, dog owner. It suits you. (1:41)

Why, thank you. I think. (1:43)

So after dinner we messed around a bit and I played something for the kids. Then this happened and I guess in that moment he really became my dog. We bonded for life. (1:44)


Blaine. (1:50) Yes?

- 147 -

Contents ↑ (1:52)

Blaine. (1:53) Yes...?


I don't even know what to say. (1:54) Oh...


Your Bradshaw texts are slowly becoming my favorites. (1:56)

That's good, because he's slowly becoming my favorite, too.


Goodnight and sweet dreams, Kurt. (1:59)

Goodnight. ~~~


Rachel. (2:02)

RACHEL. (2:06)

Do you think it's possible to fall in love with the idea of a person?

- 148 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Eleven Thurs 25 Dec (7:45am) ~Incoming Call~ “Goooood morning, lovebird!” “Damn, Rachel. It's way too early for you to sound like that.” “And a Merry Christmas to you, too!” “Ugh... You don't even really celebrate Christmas, why are you up? And why are you calling me?” “To talk about your undying love for Lonely Boy.” “...What??” “The text you sent me last night. Late at night. Laaaaate. When you should've been asleep.” “...Crap. Oh god... So that wasn't just a bad dream?” “No. No, it was a good dream. A dream full of warmth and-” “Please, just stop. It's too early.” “It's never too early for matters of the heart, Kurt.” “No heart. No heart involved at all.” “Well, clearly you had a revelation last night. Did he do something? He did, didn't he? Did you call him? Did he call you? Did he finally send you a picture of himself? And did you-” “No. Nothing. Nothing happened.” “Liar!!! Why do you keep lying to yourself?”

- 149 -

Contents ↑ “I'm not lying to myself.” “Explain Ethan, then. “I refuse to discuss your hatred towards my boyfriend again -” “I don't hate him, I“Shush. I love him and he loves me. It's been over a year and you should be used to it, to him, by now.” “So what about the text?” “A lapse of judgement -” “Kurt.” “ - brought to you by Christmas, rum, and lack of sleep.” “Kurt, I just want you to be happy. You know that.” “I am happy. Blaine and I... We're friends.” “And are you sure that he sees that the same way?” “Rachel. We've never even met. Of course he doesn't -” “Since when is that a criterion?” “Uhm, I'm pretty sure that's the usual protocol. You meet someone, you like someone, you fall in love with someone.” “Right. Because you're known for doing things the 'usual way'.” “Will you let me get up and take a shower now?” “So that you can avoid this conversation again? Sure.” - 150 -

Contents ↑ “And can we not talk about this in front of my family later?” “Okay, fine. 3pm?” “Yes.” “See you then! And Kurt?” “Yes?” “I really do just want you to be happy.” “... I know, Rachel. And I am.” “Okay... Bye!” “Bye.” ~~~

(8:23am) Help!


How can I help you? (8:26)

Do you have any advice on how to get my bed back? (8:26)

...Excuse me? (8:28)

I got up to get some water and when I came back, this greeted me: - 151 -

Contents ↑


I see that you've trained him well. (8:33)

He was like that when I got him. Which was a couple of days ago. I'm not to blame! (8:34)

I bet your bed is super comfortable and he just couldn't resist. (8:34)

So it's my fault? Because my bed is too comfortable? (8:35) Yes.


Wow. You give such great advice. (8:40)

So I've been told.

- 152 -

Contents ↑ (8:40)

Do I get a Bradshaw picture every single day now? (8:41)

I don't know. (8:42)

This could be a thing. The Daily Bradshaw. (8:43)

Like The Daily Coyote? (8:44)

Exactly. (8:46)

Only one of them is sort of a wild animal and the other one hogs pillows and falls for everyone he sees on the streets. ******

Fri 26 Dec (10:44am) What are you doing on New Year's Eve? (10:47)

Why? Are you asking me out? ;) (10:48)

No. Just... I'm asking. (10:49)

I can see that. (10:51)

Actually, my parents throw a big party in NYC each year. They're friends with a couple of my friend's parents, so I'll probably attend that one. (10:52)

Not probably. Definitely. It's kind of a tradition.

- 153 -

Contents ↑ (10:53)

And is that a good tradition? I mean, do you actually want to go? (10:55) Yes.


What will you be doing? Ohio or NYC? (11:01)

NYC. We're flying back on the 30th. (11:02) We?


I mean, I am. (11:05) Okay.


You don't have to tell me, but you don't have to lie about it either, you know? (11:16)

Rachel. I'm flying home with Rachel. (11:17)

Oh! Okay. (11:21)

No, wait. What?! (11:22) Kurt.


Kuuuuuuurt. - 154 -

Contents ↑ (11:24)

Promise not to get mad! Because there's nothing to be mad about. (11:24)

I knew it!!! (11:25)

Promise! (11:25)

Okay, promise. (11:27)

She's a bit more than just one of my coffee people. (11:27) Go on.


We went to high school together and now she's living with me in NYC. (11:30)

We're kind of best friends. (11:31)

I swear she's not a spy and I never even meant for her to meet you or know who you are and she's very strict about that deal she made with you and this isn't creepy at all!! (11:33) Kurt.

(11:34) ...Yes?

(11:34) Chill.

- 155 -

Contents ↑ (11:35)

'Chill'?! Who says that?? (11:36)

You need to relax. I'm not mad. (11:37)

I gotta say, you freaking out about something is kind of cute. You're always so put together. (11:38)

That's what I want you to believe. (11:40)

So you're not mad? (11:41)

No. I trust you now, remember? (11:42) Good.


'Kind of ' best friends? (11:46)

It makes more sense once you get to know her better. (11:47)

Not... that I want you to get to know her. (11:47)

I mean, you could, if you wanted to. (11:48)

You're your own person. (11:50)

And I'm not telling you what to do. (11:51) Kurt?

- 156 -

Contents ↑ (11:52) Yes?


You're doing it again. (11:53) Oh.

(11:54) Damn.


Adorable. (11:56) Shush.


I hope that my honesty won't backfire on me. (12:09) Blaine?


I've been shushed. (12:11)

Who's the dog here? You or Bradshaw? (12:12)

He's in my bed. I'm on the floor. You tell me. (12:13) Again?


All. The. Time.

- 157 -

Contents ↑ (12:17)

Then you need to be stricter with him. (12:17)

His eyes, Kurt. His eyes. (12:19)

You're impossible. (12:20)

Wait till you're face to face with him! (12:20)

I mean. Hypothetically. (12:25)

Hypothetically, sure. ~~~


No Bradshaw picture today? You've still got 22 minutes. (11:40)

The Daily Bradshaw is not a thing. (11:41)

I thought it could be. (11:42)

No, but you might get one today if you ask nicely. I'm feeling generous. (11:43) Please?

- 158 -

Contents ↑ (11:43) Hm.


Pretty please? (11:46) Hmm.


I've got eyes, Blaine. Eyes. (11:48)

And I might be making what could be called 'puppy eyes.' (11:50)

Okay, fine.


What's so funny?

- 159 -

Contents ↑ (11:53)

I don't know, but he's having a blast at my expense, I'm sure. (11:54)

“You're going to sleep on the floor tonight and we both know it. Now give me something to eat.” (11:57)

Yeah, that sounds like him. (11:58)

Thank you. I can go to bed now. (11:58)

Well, thank god. ;) Goodnight! (11:59)

Goodnight. ******

Mon 29 Dec (5:46pm) How did we manage to not text each other for two days? (5:48)

I have no idea. (5:49)

I've been really busy. This can't be called a holiday! (5:50)

Tell me about it. (5:50)

My parents are in town now. (5:51)

Oh. Good. - 160 -

Contents ↑ (5:52)

How's that going for you? (5:54)

“Blaine, what is that?” - “A dog?” - “And you're holding his leash why, exactly?” - “Because he's kind of my

dog?” - “Oh honey...” (5:55)

I feel like a little boy who's trying to convince his parents that he can be responsible, too.


They don't approve, huh? (5:57)

Oh, I don't know. And I don't care, really. (5:58)

Because apart from that, it's nice. Them being here. (5:58)

Of course, I'm just waiting for something bad to happen now. ;) (6:00)

Okay, gotta run! Dinner. (6:01)

Have fun! (6:02)

Have a good flight tomorrow! Say hi to Rachel from me. :P (6:04)

Maybe. (6:04) Bye!

****** - 161 -

Contents ↑ Wed 31 Dec (9:23pm) And so it begins. (9:45)

The party? (9:46) Yes.


I need more wine (10:05)

Already? (10:07)

I'm running out of excuses. (10:08)

“No, sorry, I'm gay” is not enough anymore these days, is it? (10:10)

Oh god, the images that's giving me! (10:11)

Sure, laugh about it, why don't you? (10:15)

Wait. Is this your way of telling me that you're a total... what do they call it? Chick magnet? (10:17)

I can't help it, Kurt. It's beyond my control. (10:18)


- 162 -

Contents ↑ (10:22)

But I really can't! (10:24)

You're ridiculous. (10:26)

Is Rachel with you tonight? (10:26)

She's somewhere, yes. (10:27)

Ask her. Just ask her. (10:30) About?


About my magnetic qualities. It's totally legit. (10:40)

How much wine have you had? (10:43)

Do you see me making any typos? No, you don't. Because I'm super focused. (10:55)

I might be tipsy. (10:56)

Told you so. (11:01)

Did you ask her yet? - 163 -

Contents ↑ (11:02)

No, I haven't. And I'm not sure that I should. (11:03)

Kuuuuuurt. (11:04)

Blaaaaaine. (11:10)

She wants to know about the state of the deal. (11:11)

Tell her tonight doesn't have any rules. (11:11) Any?

(11:13) Yes.


In general? (11:14) What?


Never mind. (11:16) So?


She says you're very dreamy.

- 164 -

Contents ↑ (11:17)

Ha! Ha!!! (11:20)

Calm down. (11:21) :P


She should tell you more. More aboiut me. (11:29)

Typo! It's official now. It's... 11:29 and I'm declaring you drunk! (11:32)

And I seem to have lost her. It's a little crazy around here right now. ~~~


~Incoming call~ “Kurt?” “Rachel?? Where are you? I've been looking for you for the last 20 minutes!” “WHAT?” “...WHERE are you?!” “By the bar!!” “Have you seen Ethan?” “Who?” “ETHAN!” - 165 -

Contents ↑ “No. I thought he was with you!” “This is a nightmare! I'm coming to get you, ok?” “WHAT?” “Just STAY where you are!” ~~~

Thurs 1 Jan (12:03am) ~Incoming Call~ “Hello?”

“HELLO?” “Kurt?”

“RACHEL? Shit, where are you?! I haven't even found Ethan yet and I told you to stay by the b-” “Kurt??”

“...Who is this?” “Blaine. It's... it's Blaine.” “WHO?”

“BLAINE!” “...Fuck...”

“Kurt? … Kurt?? … Are you still... Kurt …?”

“Shit. Yes. Yes, I'm here. I dropped my phone.” - 166 -

Contents ↑ “I see that you've been censoring your texts.” “What?”

“I thought that you don't curse, but you obviously do and I didn't think you would and-”


“Yes. Hi.”

“Hi... Wait a second. Can you... can you wait one second?” “Sure.”

“Okay. I'm... I found a quiet corner... Hi.” “Hey.”

“You called.” “I did.”

“You called.” “Yes, I did. I guess I wanted to say this in person. Well... over the phone.” “Say what?”

“Happy New Year, Kurt.”

“...Happy New Year, Blaine.”“... I hope I didn't scare you with this.”

“No. No, you didn't. Shit, I need something to drink.” “What?”

- 167 -

Contents ↑ “Nothing.” “Are you okay?”

“Yes, just a bit out of breath. Because I... It was loud and I... I had to...” “You had to find that quiet corner.” “Yes.”

“You're a bit speechless, aren't you?” “No, I... okay, I am.” “Thought so.” “...”


“Your laugh...” “What?”

“Your laugh is... It's nice.” “Thank you. Look, I know I kind of surprised you here, but I... I really wanted to call you.” “I'm glad you did.” “You are?” “Yes.”

“Good. Did you find Rachel yet?” - 168 -

Contents ↑ “No.” “Then maybe that's what you should do. I don't wanna be responsible for her getting lost. Or hurt.” “I will.”


“Blaine?” “Yes?”

“It was nice to hear your voice.” “It was nice to hear yours, too, Kurt.” “Bye.”

“Bye.” ~~~

(12:10am) RACHEL!!! (12:11)

We're ouside. (12:11)

Shit, Rachel. (12:12)

What??? (12:12) Later.

- 169 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Twelve Fri 2 Jan (6:45pm) I'm going to break the awkward silence now. Ready? (6:51)

You know, saying that something is awkward can make it awkward, even though it wasn't even awkward in the first place. (6:52)

Such wisdom. (6:53)

So, are you saying that this little break wasn't awkward? (6:53) Yes.


So we're good? (6:54)

Yes, we are. (6:55)

...Okay. Good. And here I had another speech prepared.


Damn, I keep blocking your speeches. (6:56)

Note to self: Must not block Blaine's speeches. (6:57)

One day, you will have to give me a proper speech. (6:57) Deal.

- 170 -

Contents ↑ (6:57)

I miss you, too. Will you be staying over tomorrow? Pleeeeease? (6:58)

Uhm... Kurt? (6:59)

Shit. Oh god, sorry. (7:01)

That was meant for... That wasn't meant for you. Accident! Please ignore that! (7:05)

Ethan? (7:06)

...What? (7:07)

When you answered your phone, you said that name.


You heard that, huh? (7:09)

Yes. Yes, Ethan. (7:11)

The boyfriend? (7:11) Yes.


How long have you two been together?

- 171 -

Contents ↑ (7:15)

A little over a year. (7:16)

Wow. Okay. (7:21)

How did you meet? (7:22)

What is this, an interrogation? (7:22)

At college. (7:23)

Depends. Did you do something bad? (7:24)

Fashion as well? (7:24) Did I?


No. Design and Management, but same school. (7:30)

Can I ask you something? (7:31)

You mean more than you've already asked? Sure, why not. (7:32)

Apparently, it's filter-free Friday. (7:32)

Does he know about me? (7:39) Kurt?

- 172 -

Contents ↑ (7:40) No.


Why not? (7:42)

That's not asking me 'something,' that's asking me 'everything.' (7:42)

What? (7:44)

Never mind. (7:47)

At first, I didn't tell him, because it was just something silly I did every Thursday. What was there to tell? And then, when it got more – like, with the missions, I didn't think he'd understand. And that it would be too late to tell. (7:48)

Would he be jealous? (7:48)

Blaine. (7:50)

What? I'm just curious. (7:51)

You don't have to answer that. (7:52)

He can be a bit protective, yes. (7:54)

But I like to think that there's nothing to be jealous about.

- 173 -

Contents ↑ (7:55)

Because we're just friends? (7:57)

Because we're friends, yes. (7:58)

And this is just something silly. (8:01pm)

I didn't say that. (8:02)

You did. (8:02)

No, I said that it was silly in the beginning. (8:03)

And now it's...? (8:04)

And now you're my silly little friend, who I care about quite a lot. (8:06)

I am not little! (8:07)

Well, I wouldn't know. But I kind of associate you with my phone, and my phone is relatively tiny. Sorry. (8:07)

I am not tiny! (8:08)

Deal with it. - 174 -

Contents ↑ (8:08)

Not. Tiny. (8:10)

Oh, Blaine. (8:11)

Don't 'Oh Blaine' me! (8:11)

Oh, Theodore. (8:13)

That's it. You've gone too far. (8:13)

Whatever will you do? (8:14)

...I will have to think about that. (8:16)

See, that's why I can never be scared. You have to actually think about payback. Probably for days and days and even then you don't come up with anything. You're fluff and rainbows. (8:17)

With tiny puppies sprinkled on top. (8:18)

Bradshaw is not tiny. We're *not* tiny. (8:18)

Okay, whatever you say. (8:22) Kurt?

- 175 -

Contents ↑ (8:23) Yes?


'Quite a lot'? (8:24) Hm?

(8:25) Oh.


Yes. I wouldn't send just anyone on lovely little missions. (8:26)

Again with the 'little.' (8:28)

It's a theme. (8:29)

Payback. (8:30)

Mhm. I'll be waiting, my tiny friend. (8:30)

You're impossible. (8:31)

Thank you. ~~~

- 176 -

Contents ↑ (8:55pm) Outgoing call “Hey, handsome!” “Hi! How's rehearsal?” “Good, we're about t-” “How long till you're home?” “Couple more hours. Why?” “I talked to Blaine.” “Excellent! So how many kids does he want? Would you get a second dog? Or maybe cats? Is he a dog person only? Tell me everyth-” “Sometimes you still scare me, Berry. …About Ethan. We talked about Ethan.” “Ohhhhh.” “He asked and - well, I messed up. Looks like I'm not as good at multi-texting as I thought I was. Anyway. He asked some questions. And I answered.” “Good. Okay. … Go on.” “What if I am leading him on, Rachel? What if he thinks we should be more than... friends, or whatever we are?” “What if you're fooling yourself?” “What?” “Okay, I know I keep joking about this. And I like teasing you about it. And you know that I think he's positively gorg-” - 177 -

Contents ↑ “Stop! Stop right there.” “But he-” “No.” “And you-” “No.” “Why did you even call me, Kurt?” “Because... I don't know. …I don't want to ruin this, Rachel.” “Oh, honey... You just have to do the thing that's best for you.” “Which would be...?” “That's what you have to find out.” “What if I think I'm making the right choice, but then it turns out it was the wrong one?” “And what if you spend the rest of your life asking yourself 'What if'?” “...Urgh.” “Look, I have to get back to rehearsal. Do you wanna talk about it some more when I come home?” “Yes. You'll be rewarded with late night snacks.” “You're the best! Until then, take a bath, relax, and rest your pretty head for once.” “Okay.” “Love you!” - 178 -

Contents ↑ “Love you, too.” ******

Sat 3 Jan (8:31am) You need to get me drunk tonight. (8:36)

Good morning, Mr Anderson. It's 8:36. Did you wake up with that delightful thought? (8:37)

I never even went to sleep. (8:38)

Again? (8:38) Yes.


Blaine. (8:40)

It's pathetic, I know. Please don't judge me. (8:41)

Not judging, just worrying. (8:43)

I was up all night practicing for that concert and I swear it's like every single piece was written for him or about him.


Wow, okay. We're definitely going out drinking. - 179 -

Contents ↑ (8:45)

We can try the wingman thing again. (8:46)

I don't think that's such a good idea, Wes. (8:47)

You're still mad about that one time in 2013, aren't you? You have to let it go. (8:49)

Never forget The Great Disaster of 2013, Wesley. Never forget. (8:50)

Fair enough. 9pm? I'll pick you up. (8:51)

Sounds good. ~~~

Sun 4 Jan (1:16am) Voicemail “Kurt. Kuuuuuuurt. Kurt, are you asleep? You shouldn't be asleep - it's a beautiful Friday. No, Saturday. Sunday? It's a beautiful DAY... but it would be even more beautiful if you weren't asleep. Because you're

beautiful... Kurt. I know you are. Knew it from the beginning. You sound beautiful through texts... texts!

How is that even possible... You should be here with me right now. With me and n- …Hey, no! That's my phone, gimme-” ~~~


Well, well, well, Blaine Theodore. Just how drunk were you last night? (9:50)

Loud. Phone. Please no.

- 180 -

Contents ↑ (9:51)

I guess that's my answer. (9:52)

Interesting voicemail, though. (9:59) ?


The message you left me? (10:02) ???


Oh, I see. (10:06)

Oh god. No... What did I say?! (10:06)

Nothing. (10:07)

But I did. (10:08)

No. It was just music and voices and a few words here and there. (10:08)

‌Really? (10:09) Yes.

- 181 -

Contents ↑ (10:13)

Shit. Sorry. (10:14)

No big deal. It happens. (10:17)

Oh god, I have a dog.


That's quite a case of amnesia you have there. Impressive. (10:19) What?


No. No, I mean... someone has to talk that dog. And I don't even feel alive right now.


Walk. Walk the dog. Oh god, what is this.


I believe it's called a hangover. (10:24)

Smartass. (10:24)

Hey! I'm not responsible for your wild night out. (10:25)

Are you sure about that? (10:27)

Okay, I can do this. (10:29) Good.

- 182 -

Contents ↑ (11:45)


‌You went to Central Park with that hangover? You could've just walked around the block. (11:50)

It's Sunday. He deserves the park. It's not his fault that his dad had a bit too much. (11:51)

His dad? (11:52) Yup.


That's a beautiful picture. (11:57)

Isn't it though? I just told him that everything the light touches will be his one day. - 183 -

Contents ↑ (11:58)

...You did not just do that. (11:59)

Didn't I? I thought I did. (12:01)

So excuse us, we're now on our way to the waterhole aka our coffee shop. (12:03)

Man, do I need coffee right now. (12:07) Blaine?


Yes, dear? (12:09)

...You're still drunk. (12:09)

No, but the sun is shining and I'm starting to feel like a human being again. (12:10) Okay.


What is it? (12:15)

Never mind. (12:16)

Okay? Talk to you later! ~~~

- 184 -

Contents ↑ (3:04pm)

Did you do it yet? (3:06) No.

(3:06) Do it.


You think? (3:09)

Yes. It's the only way. (3:17) Okay. ~~~

(3:48pm) Blaine. (3:50) Kurt.


I've been thinking. (3:52)

Alright. (3:55)

Do you want me to guess?

- 185 -

Contents ↑ (3:56) No.


I think we should meet. (4:02)

Blaine? (4:03)

You... wow. (4:03)

Am I still drunk? (4:04)

I don't think you are. (4:05)

What do you say? (4:07)

Are you sure? (4:07) Yes.


Seriously? (4:08) Yes.

(4:10) Okay.

(4:10) Okay.

- 186 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Thirteen Sun 4 Jan (4:21pm) Emergency! (4:22) Wes.


Wes, come on. (4:29)

Wesleyyyyyyyy. (4:30)

Where's the fire? (4:31)

He asked me to meet him. (4:32) Who?


You know who. (4:34)

...Wow. Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea? (4:34)

...Why not? (4:35)

Does he still have a boyfriend? (4:37)

I guess? Maybe. Probably. - 187 -

Contents ↑ (4:37)

Again, are you sure it's a good idea? (4:38)

You're setting yourself up for heartbreak, Anderson. (4:39)

Shush. It's just a meeting. (4:39)

And you're 'just' in love with him. (4:40)

I'm not in love with him!!! (4:40)

Riiight. (4:41)

I'm not! (4:42)

You can't *love* someone you've never met. (4:44)

And now you're going to meet. What if you do fall for him? Then it'll be worse, because he'll still be the one with the boyfriend and you will cry on my shoulder and I'll never hear the end of it! (4:46)

You're mean. (4:46)

I'm being realistic. And I don't want to see you hurt. Again. (4:47)

I'm meeting him as a friend. I'm not stupid. - 188 -

Contents ↑ (4:49)

Hey, maybe he's hideous! Like... Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder! (4:49)

Or someone from a crappy horror movie. (4:50)

Or Gollum! (4:52)

Who am I kidding; he's going to be... Kurt. (4:53)

The boy who sounds beautiful even through texts. Yes, I know. You told me 100 times last night. (4:56)

What if it IS a bad idea? (4:58)

Oh god, what am I gonna do?! (4:59)

When are you going to meet? (4:59)

I... I don't know. (5:00)

Oh. We didn't even get to that. (5:01)

Hopeless is what you are, Anderson. (5:01)

And you're not helpful at all. (5:02)

I'll be there to put you back together afterwards.

- 189 -

Contents ↑ (5:02)

Hmph. ~~~


When do you wanna meet? Are you back to school as well tomorrow? (5:12)

No, not yet. I'm interning for about two weeks. (5:13)

Oh, okay. So you'll be really busy... (5:13)

I guess. (5:16) Okay.


But I'm free Tuesday afternoon. (5:17)

Great! Me too. (5:18) 5pm?


Yes. Where? (5:19)

Coffee shop?

- 190 -

Contents ↑ (5:19) Okay.



You can get me my Tuesday coffee then. (5:22)

Not... that you have to. I mean... (5:25)

Do you want to meet Bradshaw? (5:26) Uhm...


No...? I don't have to bring him; he's good at staying home alone, too. (5:29)

No - okay, sure. Sure, why not? (5:29)

Alright! :) ~~~


Outgoing Call “Hey Blai-”

“Tuesday. Tuesday! That's super soon. That's like... two days! Is that too soon?” “Breathe, Blaine. Breeeeathe.” “Okay... Yes.” “Better?”

- 191 -

Contents ↑ “Yes. It's just so... I thought it wouldn't be so soon... “ “It's been three months.”

“You know what I mean!”

“Yeah. Will you be okay? Do you need a pep talk?”

“No. I'm fine. I think I'm fine... Tuesday. That's totally fine. No big deal. Don't I sound fine to you?” “Since you asked, a little hysterical... And you said the word 'fine' a lot.” “Well, that's because I'm fine. I'm fine and hysterical Blaine right now.” “...Do you need me to come over?” “No... Yes... Maybe... No. Maybe?”

“Alright, that's it. We're gonna go for a walk.” “But I don't-”

“Already on my way.”

“Wes! ...Wes?! ...Damn.” ~~~


I really hope that this wasn't a mistake. (5:35)

Did you ask him? (5:35) Yes.

- 192 -

Contents ↑ (5:36)

And he said yes? (5:36) Yes.


When? (5:37)

Tuesday. (5:38)

Well. Now we wait. (5:41)

I can't believe you picked this time to leave town. (5:42)

I'm there for you whenever you need me, you know that. (5:44)

You could've asked him to meet you next week. (5:45)

No. It has to be now. (5:46) Okay.


Call me - anytime! (5:47) <3


- 193 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Mon 5 Jan (6:45pm) How was your first day? (6:56)

Crazy. Crazy like you wouldn't believe. The fashion world is one big pile of drama. It's almost too clichĂŠ. (6:57)

I'm sure you can handle it better than anyone else. (6:59)

Are we still set for tomorrow? (7:01)

Yes, sure. (7:03)

Will Rachel be there? (7:04)

No. She's spending the week with a theatre company in Boston. Something about extra credit. (7:04)

Wow, okay. (7:05)

It's just you and me. (7:06)

And Bradshaw. (7:06)

And Bradshaw. Yes. ******

- 194 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Tues 6 Jan (1:22am) I can't sleep. (1:24)

Are you asleep? (1:25) Yes.


No, you're not. Liar. (1:26)

Go to sleep, Anderson. (1:27) Sigh.


Oh good god, please. (1:28) Fine.



Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. (4:51)

You're not going to impress him like that, Blaine. ;) (4:53)

Just... fuck. I think I'm about to throw up. On Bradshaw. Oh god.

- 195 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (4:55)

Blaine. Hey. You're gonna be fine. You're friends and you've talked for three months now. This won't be any different. (4:59)

This was a mistake. (5:01)

Oh shush. Relax. You're good with people. (5:02)

Kurt isn't people. (5:03)

You can be very frustrating, did anybody ever tell you that? (5:04)

Not helping. (5:10)

Is he late? (5:11) â&#x20AC;ŚYes.


Oh god, he's late. (5:20)

Wes, he's not coming. What if he's not coming?! (5:21)

Maybe he got held up. Didn't you say he just started his internship yesterday? (5:22) Yeah.

- 196 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:25)

He's totally late. (5:25)

I'm sure he'll be there soon. ~~~


I won't be able to make it after all. Something came up, sorry! (5:27)

Okay... (5:27)

Well, maybe next time? ~~~


That was that then... (5:29) ?


He's not coming. (5:30)

Are you sure? (5:31)

1) It's 5:31. 2) He just texted me that he can't make it. (5:33) Shit.

- 197 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:34)

Just like that? (5:35)

Yeah, 'something came up.' Wtf is 'something'? (5:36)

Hey... I'm sure he had a good reason. So it didn't happen today... Not the end of the world. (5:37)

Wanna come over and watch a movie? (5:39)

No, I guess I'll just go home and practice some more. (5:40)

Okay. Call me if you need to talk. (5:41)

Thank you. (5:41) Sure. ~~~


Are you okay? (8:33)

No, seriously. Did anything happen? (9:45)

Kurt, I'm getting worried. (10:01)

Get back to me as soon as you see this, okay? ******

- 198 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Wed 7 Jan (4:14pm) I really need you to tell me that you're okay, Kurt. (6:34)

Please, come on. (10:13)

Fuck... Kurt. ******

Thurs 8 Jan (12:01pm) This isn't funny. Can you please just answer me? (1:12) Hey.


Oh god. (1:14)

What happened??? (1:15)

I'm fine. Nothing happened. It's just been a really stressful week. (1:17)

Are you serious? (1:20)

I'm sorry. (1:21)

And you're fine? (1:22)

Yes, I am.

- 199 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (1:25)

So, let me get this straight... You ask me to meet you, then you don't show up, leaving me there with a 'something came up,' THEN you don't answer my texts at all and now you're telling me that you're okay

and nothing happened? (1:30)

I... Yes. (1:31)

Wow, okay. (1:32)

I'm sorry. (1:33)

Yeah, well. ******

Fri 9 Jan (11:55pm) Tell me, Kurt. Is that it? One failed attempt and we stop talking? (11:59)

I'm not mad at you, you know? Sat 10 Jan (12:01am)

Okay, I don't get why you suggest a meeting only to not turn up in the end. But I'm sure you had a good reason, so I'm not mad. (12:06)

You did have a good reason, right? (12:08)

I thought you did. Only then you leave it at that, without any real explanation, and you don't answer any of my texts and I wasn't even sure if you were still alive. (12:14)

I am. I am alive. - 200 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (12:15)

Yes, I know that now, don't I? (12:33)

Look, if you want me to stop texting you, all you really have to do is ask. (12:34) I don't.


Want you to stop texting me, I mean. (12:36)

Then what? Give me something to work with, come on. (12:40)

But maybe we should. (12:41)

...What? (12:42)

Maybe we should stop. (12:45)

Shit, Kurt... (12:47)

I will if that's what you want me to do. (12:48)

But I just don't get it. How can you go from asking me to meet you for coffee to this?! How? (12:50)

Don't make this harder than it already is. (12:51)

*I'm* making this harder? - 201 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (12:52)

Please... (12:53)

Please what? What do you want from me here? (12:55) Blaine.


All *I* want is an explanation. (12:59) I can't.


You once said you didn't want this to be an obligation. Right now you're making it one. (1:04)

Wow. Just... wow. (1:05)

You know what, Kurt?! Screw you. (1:06)

Please... (1:06)

I'm giving you what you want. I'm leaving you alone. Now leave *me* alone. ~~~


I screwed everything up. Everything. (12:15)

What happened??? - 202 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (12:16)

Please say you're almost here. (12:17)

Yes! Yes, I am. (12:17)

Thank god. (12:18)

You're scaring me, Kurt. (12:20)

I'm scared of myself. ~~~


Hey Blaine, are you up for a walk or what? (1:05) No.


Come on, it's beautiful outside! I bet Bradshaw can't wait to get out. (1:07)

He's fine. (1:10)

Are you okay? (1:11) No.

- 203 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (1:12)

What happened? (1:14)

I don't wanna talk about it. (1:14)

Blaine. (1:16) Don't.


I'm coming over anyway. (1:17)

Well, I won't open the door. (1:17)

Then I'll call Mr Donovan - I know that he's got your spare key. (1:20)

For the love of... Will you just leave me alone?! (1:21)

Damn. See you in 15. (1:25)

I'm such an idiot, Wes... (1:26)

You were right. You're always right. Why are you always right? (1:27)

Well, rest assured that in this case I hate to be right. Hang on, okay? And open that door when I get there. - 204 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ******

Sun 11 Jan (11:05am) So it's Sunday and Bradshaw just did the most amazing thing and all I wanted to do was text him and tell him all about it. (11:12)

I wish I could hate him. I wish I could hate him, instead of myself. (11:15)

You were right. I feel too much, too fast. (11:19)

That doesn't have to be a bad thing... (11:20)

Right now it is. (11:23)

It's too much, Wes. It's just too much. (11:24)

I didn't expect it to feel like this. (11:26)

I know, I know... please don't say 'I told you so.' (11:27)

I would never do that. On your way back, come and stop by, okay? (11:28)

I already ruined your Saturday. I won't ruin your Sunday as well. (11:28)

Shut up and do it, Anderson! (11:29) ...Okay ******

- 205 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Tues 13 Jan (2:45pm) Tuesdays suck. (2:48)

And there we go. Old Blaine is back. (2:49)

They just do! And I thought they sucked before, but now... now they're just hell. (2:51)

Helldays is what they should be called. (2:53)

Someone's dramatic today. (2:54)

Hurricane. (2:54)

What? (2:55)

Nothing. (2:57)

Okay? How's your workshop? (2:58)

The music sucks. (2:59)

Damn, Blaine. You're going to have to let it go eventually. (3:01)

I gotta get back to my sucky Hellday and play some stupid music. - 206 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (3:02)

Yes, go do that. And then you're going to come over and help me with my assignment. (3:02)

Do I have to? (3:04)

Yes. It will stop you from coming up with things like 'Hellday.' (3:04) Fine.



Kurt. Kurt Kurt Kuuuuurt! (4:42) Yes?


No, I shouldn't tell you. I shouldn't. (4:43)

What?! (4:45)

He was here. Just now. (4:45) ?



- 207 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (4:48) Oh.


Yes, oh. (4:53) Kurt.

(4:53) Yes?


He didn't smile. (4:54) And?


And he always smiled. (4:59)

Well, thanks a lot, Rachel. You didn't really have to tell me that. (5:03)

Why did you tell me??? (5:04)

Did you talk to him at all about this? (5:05)

I... Not really, no. (5:06)

Maybe that's not fair. After all this time and what you did for him.

- 208 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:09)

Did you give him his coffee? (5:10)

No. Well, I did give him coffee, but he paid for it. (5:13)

This is such a mess. (5:13)

I shouldn't have told you. (5:14)

Too late for that! (5:15)

Sorry... ~~~


Why do I keep doing this to myself? (4:44)

What did you do now? (4:45)

I went by the coffee shop. I saw Rachel. I probably looked like a crazy person to her. (4:46)

Blaine, what am I gonna do with you? (4:47)

Just shut up and let me let me help with that assignment. - 209 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (4:47)

Well, since you asked so nicely... See you in a bit! ******

Fri 16 Jan (9:32pm) Blaine, remember when I said there's always going to be coffee? (9:35)

I meant that. ~~~


I know I said I'm better, but I'm really not. (9:56)

Aren't you sick of me yet? (9:58)

What do you need? (9:58)

Drinks. (9:59)

Okay, we're at the bar on my street. You're quite welcome to join. Adam's got a story that you might enjoy. (10:00)

Sounds good. ******

Sat 17 Jan (2:01am) Why?

- 210 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:05)

â&#x20AC;ŚWhat? (2:06)

Why did you ave to send me sthat text, Kurt? (2:07)

...Are you drunk? (2:10)

Whjat if I was? (2:11)

We can't have this conversation when you're drunk. (2:12)

Why not?s (2:15)

If you still want to talk tomorrow, text me and we'll talk. Okay? (2:17)

Whateever. ~~~

(4:16pm) Okay.

(4:20) Okay?

(4:21) Talk.

- 211 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (4:23) Uhm...


Kurt. Yes, I was drunk last night, but I do remember that you offered to talk. I've got nothing to say to you, but maybe you've got something to say to me. If not, have a nice weekend. (4:33)

I'm sorry for what happened last week. (4:34)

Yes, thank you for making me feel like I was living a Meg Ryan movie. I really appreciated that.


I've got a boyfriend. (4:37)

I know. (4:38)

No, you don't. (4:40)

I've got a boyfriend who loves me and adores me and that's something I thought I'd never have. (4:41)

Why are you telling me this? (4:41)

Because I need you to understand. All of it. (4:46)

I'd given up on it. It's silly, I know. I was so young, fuck, I'm *still* young. But everyone around me was living this life that I wanted and it was so *easy* for them. It wasn't easy for me, it just never was. At the end of it I was tired of fighting and trying to prove everyone just how strong I was. (4:47)

And then I came here and everything changed. Everything. - 212 -

Contents ↑ (4:48)

Is that a cliché? I don't care. It's my cliché. It's the truth. (4:50)

Again, why are you telling me all this?


I was there, Blaine. (5:03)

Outside. I was there and I saw you sitting there by the window with that stupid dog and your stupid messy hair and you just looked so... (5:04)

And I couldn't do it. I couldn't open that door. (5:05) Why?


If you were already there, then why didn't you come inside? (5:06)

It was your idea, not mine. (5:07) Why?


Because you were... you. (5:12)

What? (5:15)

A part of me wanted to meet you, so that I could get you out of my head. Because this thing we're having, it's weird, and it's started to mess with my head. Big time. (5:16)

I was starting to like the thought of you.

- 213 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:18)

But it's not real, is it? It might feel real, but it's not. And I guess I was hoping that, if I met you, this fantasy would just crash in on itself and I could move on with my life. (5:19)

I've got a boyfriend, Blaine. (5:20)

I know. You keep saying that. (5:23)

I've got a boyfriend who loves me and I couldn't open that door, because I saw you and you were you and you were someone I couldn't see myself walking away from. (5:26) Oh.


And that's it. That's everything.

- 214 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Fourteen Sun 25 Jan (9:44am) One day, when Bradshaw is really old (he's not old now – he's going to live for 100 more years), I wanna move to Bruges and buy a house right by the canal, so that he can look out of the window all day and smell the sun. (9:55)

Blaine... (9:56)

What? (9:57)

You know, like that dog. (9:59)

What dog? Bradshaw? (10:00)

No, not Bradshaw. Well, not yet.


That dog who lives in Bruges. (10:03)

Is this a joke? (10:03)

You love Google. (10:04) ...I do?


Yes. Google “dog window Bruges.” - 215 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:05) ...

(10:05) Do it.


All right, I'm doing it! Jeez. (10:11)

I can see that, actually. I bet he'd like it. (10:12)

What would you do? (10:13)

I'd just play the piano all day. (10:13)

And eat. (10:15)

And who would pay for that? (10:15)

Please. People would pay *me* for that. Me and my decorative window dog. (10:16)

Are you sure about that? (10:16) Hey!


I'm just being honest. (10:20)

Like last week?

- 216 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:21)

...Can we talk about last week? (10:26)

I couldn't sleep for the next two days. (10:27)

I'm sorry. (10:33)

I was up all night, because I kept thinking about what you said and what you meant by it and I didn't know what to make of it. What you expected me to do with it.


I'm still not sure that I do. (10:37)

And I will never know why I'm always this honest with you, damn. (10:40)

What do you want? (10:40)

No. That's not fair. You can't just dump all that on me and expect me to direct this mess.


It is a mess, isn't it? (10:44)

Pretty much. (10:45)

I don't want it to be a mess. (10:46)

Then what's the plan? - 217 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:49)

Can we be friends again? (10:50) Kurt...


I miss being your friend. (10:51) Kurt.


I miss you. (10:56)

It's been a week and I just miss you, okay? (10:57)

Not fair. (10:57)

I'm sorry that I dragged you into this mess. Because it's my fault, isn't it? (10:59)

I don't think *sorry* is gonna do it. ~~~


Weeeees. He misses me. (11:36)

No, Blaine. No. We talked about this. Remember how we talked about this? (11:36)

We agreed that you needed time and space after what happened.

- 218 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:38)

I texted him. (11:38) Why?


Because it's a reflex, okay?! (11:39)

And Bruges is really pretty. Sometimes nice things make me text. (11:40) What?!


You wouldn't understand. (11:41)

Maybe. All I know is that you have to be careful. (11:43)

I'm careful all the time. My whole life is careful. Ever since... (11:44)

I told him that sorry isn't enough. There, careful. Happy? (11:45)

But what is enough? (11:49)

I'm not jumping right into it, if that's what you're worried about. I'm not that stupid. I know where I stand. (11:50)

Okay, good.

- 219 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:50)

Glad to hear my misery makes you happy.


You know exactly what I meant. (11:52)

...Yes. Sorry. I should stop projecting my anger onto you. (11:52)

Does it help? (11:53)

...For a little while? (11:54)

Then I'm okay with it.


But maybe he should know how angry you are. (11:55)

I can't do that. (11:56)

You're too nice. Always have been. (11:58)

I like nice. There aren't enough nice people in this world.


And I like you being nice, it's a gift. But not when you're being taken advantage of. (11:59)

I've got you to watch over me. - 220 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (12:00pm)

See! You should always listen to me. (12:01)

Yes, mom. (12:02)

Kids these days... ~~~


I want to be your friend again. That's what I want. (6:23)

I know that I don't have any right to say that, or ask that of you. (6:33)

You can say no. Of course you can, why am I even saying that? (6:35)

I just really hope that you'll consider it. (8:01)

What kind of friendship would that even be? (8:02)

We can't just go back to the start. (8:03)

I know. (8:04)

But maybe we could have a fresh start? (8:05)

A fresh start?


Without secrets; with honesty. - 221 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (8:09)

I've always been honest. (8:10)

But maybe *I* haven't always been honest. (8:11)

Is that so? (8:12)

You know what I mean. (8:17)

Are you busy? (8:18)

What? (8:18) No.

(8:19) Okay.


Do you love him? (8:24)

...Blaine? (8:25)

Come on, I'm starting with an easy one. (8:26)

Starting...? (8:28)

Yes. Yes, I love him. - 222 -

Contents ↑ (8:33)

Would you tell him about me, if we were to start anew?

(8:40) Yes.


Do you or did you ever have feelings for me? (8:43)

Blaine. (8:44)

No. I need to know. I need to know, because I'm not getting into this again blind. (8:44)

Shit, Blaine. (8:44)

Outgoing call “Whoa... Hi.”

“Hey. I can't do this over texts.” “And here I thought that I was in control for once.”

“...What? Is this okay? I mean... I can hang up, that's fine; I'd get it, I just th-” “Calm down. You really do get all rambly when you're nervous. Maybe I'm the one in control after all.” “This isn't funny.” “It kind of is.”


- 223 -

Contents ↑ “Go on. I'm listening.”

“I asked you to meet me because I didn't know what to think anymore. And then I saw you and I still didn't know what to think. I thought it would help me. I thought meeting you would make everything right again, but we both know that didn't work out. “…Yes. Yes, I thought I could have feelings for you, and walking into that coffee shop would've felt like cheating, in a way. I could never do that. I'm not... That's not... I'm sorry for leaving you like that – it wasn't one of my finest moments. Retreating and clearing my head was the only option I could think of... And I'm sorry if that made you feel like I let you down or used you or... “Blaine? ...Are you even still with me?” “You were scared.”

“...I was, yes. And I still am. I'm scared of messing it up all over again and I'm scared of losing you. ...Does that make me the most selfish person on the planet?” “Maybe.” “Mhhh.”

“You can't have it all.”

“I know. I'm asking a lot of you.” “You're asking a lot of everyone here, yourself included.” “But is that so wrong?” “So you chose him.”

“What? I didn't catch th-” “Did you... I said that you chose him.”

- 224 -

Contents ↑ “I... Yes, I did. I have to. I'm sor-” “No. No... I know I've been angry and hurt and confused – but I don't actually have the right to be angry about that. I always knew that you had a boyfriend. You told me, pretty much right from the beginning.” “But-”

“No but. You said that you had this idea of me, of us, in your head and apparently so did I. And that's nobody's fault but mine.”

“...Do we even know what we're doing at all?” “No, but at least we agree on that. ...Thank you.” “...What for?”

“For this. For trying to explain. For being so honest. For calling me. That took a lot of guts. You could've just send me a text and been done with it.” “I would never do that.” “So... Friends, huh?”

“Yes... If that's what you want. I don't expect you to... I mean, I know this can't be dealt with in a day and- … Are you laughing?” “No.”

“You're totally laughing.” “I'm not laughing. ...Wait, what was that?” “What was what?” “That sound.”

- 225 -

Contents ↑ “What... Oh. That. That's James.” “...Who? Don't tell me there's another boyfriend. I'm just getting used to the oth-” “Oh, no no no. He's the second roommate.”

“Oh, okay. ...Wait. Why does he make sounds like that?!”

“He always makes them when he's happy. And he's almost always happy about a belly rub.” “...Excuse me?!”

“He's a cat, Blaine.” “...A cat.” “Yes.”

“You have a cat.” “Yes.”

“The roommate you told me about weeks ago is a cat. A cat.” “Yes.” “...”

“...You're definitely laughing now.” “...I can't...”


“Oh my god...!” - 226 -

Contents ↑ “Will you just stop? ...You basically said that Bradshaw was your son! ...Blaine!” “Oh god... Okay, I'm back.” “Great.”

“Why didn't you ever tell me that you have a cat?”

“I didn't tell you a lot of things. Fresh start, remember?” “I don't remember agreeing to that.”

“Oh, right... I just hoped... but that's okay, I-” “Kurt?” “Yes?”

“I'll think about it.” “Okay. Thank you.”

“Mhm. That's all I can say for now.” “Okay. So, I guess...”

“Yeah. I'll be in touch.”

“That sounds really formal.” “I can be formal. You should see me in a suit. ...Uhm. But yeah, I'll... You'll hear from me.” “Okay, good.” “Bye, Kurt.” - 227 -

Contents ↑ “Bye.” ******

Wed 28 Jan (4:01pm) What's he like? (4:11)

Is this a test? (4:12)

And what kind of test would that be?


I don't know. All those questions from before, too... I feel like you're testing me. (4:15)

I'm just trying to see if the fresh start and honesty thing actually works. (4:15)

So this *is* a test. (4:16)

It's just a simple question. (4:18)

And you want to know... why? (4:19)

Friends know these things about each other's lives. (4:21)

Are you saying yes to the friendship?

- 228 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (4:22)

You're jumping ahead. (4:23)

Right. Test comes first. (4:25)

This is not a test. (4:28) Okay.


He's... When I first came to New York, it was... It was all I ever wanted, all I'd been working for, hoping for, and it felt fantastic. Still does. But it was overwhelming, too, still is. In Lima, my only goal was to get out. It was all I ever focused on. When I got to New York, all of that changed. I could've done anything, become anything â&#x20AC;&#x201C; anyone. That's kind of the best and the scariest feeling in the world. (4:47)

Ethan is... He knows what he wants. He's calm and focused and the most confident person I've ever met. (4:48)

He's been my rock. (4:59)

Was that too much? (5:01) No.


So did I pass? (5:04)

Not a test, Kurt. (5:23) Lima?

- 229 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:24) Yes.


Kurt Hummel, 21, studying fashion design at Parsons, living with his best friend and a cat in Chelsea, born in Lima, Ohio. (5:28)

Oh god. (5:30)

Blaine Anderson, 21, studying music education at NYU, new dog owner, living in the Upper West Side, born in Columbus, Ohio. (5:31)

Nice to meet you, Kurt. (5:33)

Nice to meet you too, Blaine. :) (5:35)

...Wait. Waiiiiit a second. 21?? (5:36)

...Yeah. About that...

- 230 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018;

Chapter Fifteen Wed 28 Jan (5:37pm) What?! About *what,* Blaine? (5:39)

Well, I turned 21. (5:39)

When?????? (5:40)

About two weeks ago...? (5:40)

And you didn't tell me?! (5:41) ...

(5:41) Wait.

(5:42) Fuck.


When, *exactly*? (5:44)

Oh, look. You do know how to swear via text. (5:45)

Blaine, stop. When? (5:45)

It's not a big deal.

- 231 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:46)

When?? (5:50)

Blaine, come on. (5:51)

Fine. January 10. (5:54)

Oh god. (5:55)

That was when... And I... shit. (5:57)

I ruined your birthday. (5:59)

It's in the past. (6:00pm)

Are you going to tell me that it's not my fault next? (6:00)

You didn't know. (6:01)

I mean, what would you have done differently if you'd known? (6:02)

Let's move on. (6:03) No.

(6:03) No?

- 232 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (6:03) No.


Do you have a DeLorean? (6:04)

What?? (6:05)

You can't go back in time, can you? (6:06)

It's okay. (6:06) Shit...


What? (6:09)

You're so used to being let down, aren't you? You're so used to it, it doesn't even surprise you anymore. And now I let you down when I told you to trust me and why don't you hate me yet?! You should hate me. But you're just moving on like nothing happened and you're so *nice* about it. Why are you so nice? (6:10)

You're rambling. (6:11)

Blaine. (6:11)

Do you want me to be angry? Do you want me to hate you?

- 233 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (6:12) No.


But maybe that's what you should do. (6:13)

Oh, shut up. (6:13) ...


It's okay. Let's not talk about it. I'm over it. (6:16) Okay?


Fine. But you can't stop me from trying to make it up to you. (6:17)

Seriously, Kurt, just let it go. (6:17) No.


Stubborn much? (6:18)

Determined. (6:20)

And I'm still telling you to let it go. - 234 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (6:21)

And I'm still telling you that I don't care. (6:30)

You know, after what you did, you'd think you'd be nicer. ;) (6:30)

Oh god, 'after what I did'?! (6:31)

I'm kidding. (6:31)

This is not funny. I'm a horrible person. (6:32)

Do you want me to make you feel better now? (6:33)

No. God no. I'll just shut up. For now. (6:33) Okay.


You really don't have to do anything. (6:34)

I mean it. (6:35)

It's fine. (6:39)

You're actually shutting up, huh? (6:42)

Okay. Anderson out. - 235 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (6:43) Dork.


Aaand you're ignoring me now. (6:57)

That's fine. I deserve it. (6:58) ;)


Thurs 29 Jan (10:12am) Okay, I need to check some things with you. (10:15) ...Yes?


You mentioned kids. On Christmas. (10:16) I... did.


Where is this going? (10:18)

How old are they? (10:19)

6 and 9. Honestly, where are you going with this?! (10:19) Shhhh.

- 236 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:20) Perfect.


Do they live in the city? (10:21) Yes.


Now tell me. (10:22)

Patience. (10:23)

And what's the deal there? Do you know them well? (10:24)

They're my best friend's brother and sister. (10:24)

They're like family. No, not *like* family. They are family. And I'm Uncle Blaine. (Don't laugh.) (10:25)

Now tell me. (10:26)

It's getting creepy. (10:26)

Not creepy at all. (10:27)

Also, excellent. It's like I planned this. (10:28)

Planned what?! (10:30) Kurt.


- 237 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Now tell me all of you are free tomorrow evening/night and Saturday morning. (10:31) Creepy.


Nope. I swear, you'll die! (10:32) ...


Okay, that was a bad choice of words. (10:33)

You think?! (10:34)

I'd have to check with them, but what would I even say? (10:34)

Tell them it's the chance of a lifetime! (10:35)

Not enough. (10:36)

Tell them it's the best present ever and they get to share it with you! (10:36)

Not enough. (10:37)

And I told you, you don't have to do this. (10:39)

- 238 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; But I didn't even have to think of it - *it* came to *me*. It's fate! And if you don't say yes within the next couple of hours, it'll go to someone else. (10:39)

I thought we were done with mystery? (10:40)

Not when it involves surprises. Awesome surprises. (10:42)

Okay, look. Let me make this less creepy for you. (10:42)

You know that I know someone at the AMNH. (10:43) Yesss.


Good, I've got your attention now. (10:44)

You always had my attention. That was never the problem. (10:45) ...Good.


So. Did you know that they have sleepovers there each year? (10:46)

...Why am I asking? You didn't even know about Ocean Hall. (10:46)

And you're living in the Upper West Side, so how come you've never been to the museum before? You're strange. Very strange indeed. (10:47)

Is this supposed to make me feel better about myself or...? - 239 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:48)

Wait. Sleepovers? (10:50)

Yes, sleepovers. And they're always sold out pretty fast, but there was a group of 20 kids coming in and they just canceled. (10:51)

You can have one of those spots. For free. If you want to. You better say yes. Like I said, chance of a lifetime. (10:52)

Where does one even sleep in a museum?! (10:54)

Yes, where? Where could that be, Blaine? Which room would fit 100 people in sleeping bags? (10:54) No.


Oh... oh no. Don't tell me... (10:56)

Oh yes.

(10:56) No.

(10:57) Yes.

(10:58) !!!!!!!!!


I told you. Not creepy at all.

- 240 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:30)

Just so you know, I did a background check on this before I called them. (11:32)

That's very responsible of you. (11:33)

What did they say? (11:34)

We're in. (11:35)

Yes!!! Good. (11:36)

So you should be there around 6pm. The museum closes at 8. They won't let you in after that, not even you. (11:37)

I feel like a VIP. (11:38)

Thank you. The kids are super excited. (11:39)

Good. And you? (11:39)

Oh... well. It's okay, I guess. There are worse ways to spend a Friday night. (11:39) Ha.

(11:40) :P


You really enjoy teasing me, don't you? - 241 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:41)

Maybe? (11:42)

That's okay. For now. (11:42)

So generous. ;) ******

Fri 30 Jan (10:55pm) Hey Kurt, do you think your friend would agree to work for us? (10:59)

...What? (10:59)

He's the perfect entertainment. (11:00)

Excuse me?! (11:01)

He sang with the kids. (11:01)

He what? (11:02)

Yeah, it's unheard of. I have no idea how it started, but in the end almost everyone joined in, even the parents. I bet they thought it was part of the program. (11:03)

Okay... huh. - 242 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:04)

Now I'm actually sad that I missed that. (11:05)

I can send you the little snippet I recorded.

Click Here (11:12)

Oh my god... (11:12)

Guitar?! (11:13)

Yup. I think he stole it from someone there. (11:14)

Wow. Now I'm *really* sad that I missed it. (11:14)

Right?! I wasn't kidding when I said that he should work for us.


Is he gay? (11:22) ...Yes.


I thought you said that your gaydar is the best in the country. (11:23)

Yeah, well. I didn't really talk to him. (11:24)

Plus, I'm working. Can't get sidetracked too much. - 243 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:26)

So, is he taken? (11:26) ???


Would it be weird if I asked him out on a date? (11:29)

I... Aren't you with that Spanish guy anymore? (11:29)

No, we broke up a month ago. We should talk more, Kurt. ;) (11:30)

Apparently... (11:30) So?


Yes, he's single. As far as I know, I mean. I didn't even know you were single, so... (11:32)

Awesome, okay. (11:35)

Can you just not... you know. (11:35)

Not what? (11:36)

Pull one of your stunts? He's not the kind of guy for one night only. - 244 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:37)

Who says that's who I am? (11:37)

I know you. I've seen you do your thing. (11:38)

You make me sound like a floozy. (11:38)

I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. (11:39)

I know. It's okay. (11:42)

He's awfully tempting though. Mmmh. (11:42)

He charmed 150 people in 10 seconds, that's something. (11:43) Alex.


Relax, I'll treat him like a gentleman. Plus, I think he's old enough to make his own decisions. (11:45)

If I hear one bad word... (11:45)

Fine. Noted.


You used to be more fun, Hummel. :P ******

- 245 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Sat 31 Jan (6:23am) Best night ever. (6:24)

What a great bunch of kids, too! (6:55)

Oh god, why are you up? (6:56)

Because I forgot to bring earplugs. That was a mistake. Apart from that â&#x20AC;&#x201C; best night ever. (6:56)

Did you sleep at all? (6:57)

Yeah, for a couple of hours. But I also looked up at the ceiling a lot. Like you said, it was a chance of a lifetime. (6:59)

Thank you, Kurt. (6:59)

I'm glad you liked it. (7:02)

And I heard that you worked for your right to be there. I was impressed. (7:03)

You and your spies. It's almost adorable how consistent you are.


Not a spy! (7:04)

A spy would never reveal himself, right?

- 246 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (7:05) True.


And a spy never hands out his phone number, I'd say. (8:59)

Actually, I've never met any spies, so I wouldn't know. Maybe that's their thing; sneaking up on sleepmussed, unsuspecting guys and handing out phone numbers to gain their trust. (9:04)

Don't be silly. (9:04)

Are you jealous? (9:04)

What??? No!! (9:05)

Really? You told me that Ocean Hall was one of your favorite places in NYC and I got to sleep there. I'd be envious. (9:06)

You think you're so clever. (9:07)

Why, Kurt, not at all. I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. (9:07) :P


Shut up. (9:09)

Mmmh. Always such a morning person. - 247 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (9:10)

I think you didn't sleep enough last night. (9:10)

That is definitely true. I had better things to do. (9:11)

You should get some coffee. (9:11)

Yes, sir. ~~~


I think someone's mad at me. (2:05)

I'm not mad. (2:06)

Is everything about you? ;) (2:10)

It's Mr Sourpants here.

- 248 -

Contents ↑ (2:12)

He's doing the “you left me all alone for one night, you horrible human being, now look at my sad eyes all day and deal with it” thing. (2:13)

Oh, *that* thing. (2:14)

I'm constantly going back and forth between heartbreak and denial. (2:15)

Can't you bribe him with Central Park? (2:15)

No, he didn't feel like it. Sad eyes all day. *All day.* There's only so much I can take. (2:17)

Oh, this reminds me. (2:17)

I'd like you to meet someone. (2:18)

Okay...? (2:22)

Say hello to James Benroy the 3rd.

- 249 -

Contents ↑


Ahhhhhh! (2:24)

He's so FLUFFY!!! (2:26)

Are you kidding with the name? (2:26)

No. How dare you? (2:27)

Whoa, okay. Just asking. (2:28)

Just messing. (2:28)

I get the James – but Benroy?! (2:29)

Means 'Son of a Lion.' (2:29)

Ohhhh, okay, that does make sense. - 250 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:29)

That's adorable. (2:30)

Thank you. (2:42)

I'm telling Ethan tonight. About... this. (2:44) Oh.


From fluffy pets to reality in a heartbeat... (2:47)

You're really going through with it, huh? (2:48)

Fluffy pets are very real. (2:48)

But yes, I am. (2:50)

That's... I'm happy for you. (2:51) ?


Your relationship seems to be solid. You're not scared. (2:54)

So you probably don't need me to wish you good luck. (2:55)

I could always use some luck. And you're allowed to say it. ~~~

- 251 -

Contents ↑ Sun 1 Feb (8:55am) Incoming Call “What are you doing?!” “Good morning to you too, honey!” “...What can I do for you at this hour?” “Why are we whispering?” “Well, unlike some of us, Ethan is still asleep.” “Busy night? Wait... am I on speakerphone?” “...What do you want, Rachel?” “I just want to know how it went.” “Hold on for a second... Shhhh no, go back to sleep. I'll be right back... Okay. What did you say?” “How did it go?” “Good... I think. I mean, he wanted me to stay, so that's something.” “He marked his territory, huh?” “Oh my god, stop it!” “What?! It's true.” “Is this going somewhere?” “Sorry. All I wanted to know is if you're okay.” “Yes. We talked about it. He didn't like it, but there was no fighting. It's going to be fine.” - 252 -

Contents ↑ “Okay. But I want more details once you get home lat- ...Kurt?” “No, it's Rache- ...Ah! I think... I gotta go. Bye!” “Kurt?!” (9:02am)

Like I said. Marking his territory. ~~~


Maybe *you* should've warned *me* about Blaine. Just saying. (12:10)

Excuse me?! (12:11)

'Not the guy for one night' my ass. (12:13) ...


That's not... He wouldn't. No. (12:14)

Are you sure? (12:16)

Am I sure? Am I sure that we went out for drinks and ended up at my place? Yes. Am I sure that he then

screwed my brains out all night and left in the morning without a word or even a note? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. ;)

(12:18) …

- 253 -

Contents ↑ (12:18)

Do you always have to be so crude? (12:19)

Sorryyyyy. (12:20)

And I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're worried about. It was great. I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now, anyway. (12:21)

Maybe I should thank you. (12:21)

Yes, I should thank you. (12:22)

You're impossible. (12:23)

I'm also very well rested, if you know what I mean. (12:25)

...Shut up. (12:26) ;)


(1:23pm) Outgoing Call “Hey Blaine. What's up?”

“I'm a horrible, horrible person.”

- 254 -

Contents ↑

Chapter Sixteen Sun 1 Feb (1:23pm) “No, you're not.” “But I am.”

“Okay. I'll go with it for now. Why?” “I... Never mind.”

“Don't tell me you only called to say that you're a horrible person. Out with it.” “...I hooked up with that guy from the museum last night. Go judge me now.” “Hooked up as in...?”

“Yeah. But I just left afterwards. I didn't even wait until the morning. As soon as he fell asleep, I fled. Couldn't get out of there fast enough.”

“Did you have fun, though?”

“Wesley! Have you been listening?!”

“Yes, but you went out with him on the day you met. For drinks. And he took you home with him. Sounds like he knew what he was in for.”

“I wouldn't know; I don't do these things, ever. I don't... Do people think that's who I am when they meet me?!”

“Oh, come on. You just said it yourself – it happened, once! If it makes you feel bad, you can always call him and explain yourself.”

“It's not just about him. I... Yes, I might've been a little drunk, but I knew what I was doing. Mostly.” - 255 -

Contents ↑ “And again, he probably knew what he was doing. Stop being so hard on yourself, Blaine. Sometimes you have to take a break, especially when you look at how your year started.” “Mmmh.”

“You know I'm right. You're always so easy on other people and almost never on yourself.”

“That's not... I thought it would make me feel better. I thought I was doing it for myself. I thought I could move on and forg-... Oh god, Kurt.” “What?”

“Oh no. No no no no.” “Blaine. What?!”

“What if he knows? What if he knows that I slept with Alex? Oh god, I bet he already knows. Of course he knows. What-” “Blaine, stop.”

“But this is so messed up.”

“It's been messed up for a long time now, if you ask me.” “...”


“I'm thinking.”

“No, you're overthinking.” “...”


- 256 -

Contents ↑ “...”

“How about a walk through the park?” “I don't... Shit. Yeah, okay.” “In 30?”

“Sure. We'll meet you outside.” “Okay.” ~~~


Blaine slept with Alex. (1:46)

What now? (1:46)

Wait... Parsons Alex or birthday party Alex? (1:47)

Birthday party Alex. Parsons Alex is a girl, Rachel. (1:47)

Hey, you never know. (1:48)

How did that happen? (1:49)

I told you, I sent him to the AMNH again, and apparently Alex couldn't keep his hands to himself. (1:49)

Or Blaine couldn't keep his to himself. I don't know.

- 257 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018;


They did it at the museum??? (1:50)

No! God, what's wrong with you?! (1:50)

They went out for drinks on Saturday. (1:51)

One-time thing? (1:51)

I don't know. (1:52)

I don't know what to think. (1:52)

And yet I can't *stop* thinking about it. (1:53)

Well, can you blame him? (1:54)

I guess not. I mean, you use the word 'dreamy' for Blaine all the time, and what I saw was... You know. So... (1:55)

Blaine. I was talking about Blaine, not Alex. (1:55)

Although yes, you can't blame Alex either. ;) (1:56)

They knew each other for *one day.* (1:56)

I really need to stop thinking about it. - 258 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (1:56) Kurt.

(1:57) Yes?


You're jealous. (1:58)

No, I'm not. (1:58)

Yes, Kurt. You are. ~~~


I can hear you texting in there. (1:59)

No, you can't. (1:59)

That's impossible. (2:00pm)

Superhuman hearing. (2:00)

I have a touch screen. (2:01)

Your point being? - 259 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018;


Nobody can hear that well, not even you. (2:02)

Food's getting cold. Come join me. (2:02)

Please? ~~~


Okay, I have to wrap this up â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the boyfriend is getting a little restless. We'll talk about it once I get home. (2:03)

Oh, we'll definitely talk about *it* later, yes. (2:04)

I can see you rolling your eyes, you know. (2:04)

Why is everything about ridiculous super powers today? (2:05) ?


Nothing. ~~~


So. I thought about what you said. (4:57)

- 260 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Good.


I don't think I could do that. (4:58)

What if I confiscated your phone? (4:58)

I'd probably just buy a new one. (4:59)

Your second name is Hopeless. (5:01)

No, it's not! (5:01)

Okay, your third name. (5:02)

And yours is Smartass. (5:02)

I like to think that it's Voice Of Reason. (5:03)

Dream on. ~~~


*Someone's* not allowed to go to the AMNH anymore, because *someone's* been having way too much fun there.

- 261 -

Contents ↑ (8:25)

Ben Stiller? (8:26)

Does he still go there?! You'd think that his self-help group would've caught on. (8:28)

Do they ever? ~~~


Here's a thought for your career: You'd make an excellent self-help book writer. (10:17) ?


“How to Forget About a Guy You've Never Met but Can't Stop Thinking About and Find True Happiness in the Process – A Guide for Beginners” (10:21)

That narrows the readership down, don't you think? (10:22)

In this day and age, you might be surprised. I think it's 'New York Times' Best-seller List material.


You've been staring at the ceiling for too long, Anderson. (10:26)

Take my advice. Take it! (10:26)

I'm going to bed.

- 262 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ~~~


Okay. Let's get real. (11:35)

I know that you know and you probably know that I know that you know. He talks. A lot. (Seriously, how can one person talk so much all the time?) (11:39)

I'm not proud of what I did, what *we* did, but it happened and the only thing I'm going to regret is that it

was someone you know and I don't even want to get into how weird that is, because we've known each other for months and I know your best friend and now I slept with one of your friends, or at least someone

you know, and we still haven't met yet and I don't even know what you look like and wow, if you write it down like that it really does sound weird and messed up and damn, Wes was right, he needs to stop being right about everything. (Note to self: Find something he doesn't know the answer to and rub it in.) (11:41)

So here's how this could go. a) You tell me that you're mad at me, and stop talking to me. b) You tell me that you're mad at me, but we work it out. c) You're not mad at all and we become the new Merry and

Pippin. d) You're not mad, but we agree that it's best to go our separate ways anyway, no bad feelings involved. (11:42)

Wow, okay. (11:43)

Look, me being honest just ends in word vomit. You did this to me. (11:49)

Aaand I bet you're asleep. Perfect timing. (11:50)

Is there a way to delete texts once they've been sent? No? Okay. (11:51)

Hey, Blaine. (11:52) Uhm...

- 263 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:52) Hi.


So much to say. Let's see... (11:54)

Yes, I know. (11:54)

(He works as a guide, talking is his job.) (11:55)

I'm surprised you haven't Facebook-stalked me yet. (11:56) Wes?


Merry and Pippin? Really, Blaine? (11:58) e)

Mon 2 Feb (12:01am) Facebook stalking? Please, that's so 2011. And I'm a gentleman. (12:02)

Wes is my best friend. The one with the brother and sister. (12:02)

Shut up, their friendship is epic. (12:03)

There is no e). (12:05)

But there should be. (12:06)

What's e)? - 264 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (12:08)

e) I'm not mad, but it took me by surprise and it showed me that I don't know everything about you. I don't have the right to be mad and you didn't do anything *wrong*. Me not expecting it doesn't make it wrong. I said I wanted to be friends with you and friends should be able to talk about these things. (12:09)

My options were way shorter than yours. (12:12)

So, now... Does that make you want to know less about me? (12:15) No.


It makes me want to know more. ~~~

(12:33am) Rachel?


You should be asleep. (12:35)

Don't think I can't hear your music. You're up, too. (12:35)

Fine. What is it? (12:36)

Do you ever think that not knowing what you want is harder than wanting something you can't have? (12:38)

Come meet me for milk and cookies in the kitchen. Bring James.

- 265 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ******

Tues 3 Feb (10:01am) Tuesday! (10:04)

Thanks. You're my very own little calendar. (10:05)

Not little. (10:06)

This is just a coffee reminder. (10:07)

I still get coffee? (10:07) Still?


I thought that maybe I didn't deserve the coffee anymore. (10:09)

What? For having too much fun at the museum? (10:09)

Not *at* the museum! (10:11)

Wait, so you *didn't* enjoy your time at the museum? I'm appalled. I thought it was the experience of a lifetime. Why do I even bother? (10:11) Oh god.

- 266 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:12)

Winding you up is way too much fun. (10:12) Evil.


Evil evil evil. (10:13) :)

(10:13) No.

(10:14) No?


That won't get you anywhere. (10:17)

You're quite feisty for someone who *just* stated his fear of coffee refusal. (10:18)

Your evil ways change everything. (10:19)

Now give me coffee. (10:20) Yes, sir.


Although you kind of have to get it yourself. (10:22) :(

- 267 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:24)

That won't get you anywhere.

(10:24) :'(

(10:26) ...No.

(10:26) Fine.



At this point, I think we're both circling each other. I don't want to let it go, he doesn't want to let it go. And neither of us knows what we're doing, we're just stumbling our way through this... thing. (4:36)

One day, it's this weight on my shoulders, and the next it's just... it's... And just for those moments, I don't want to let it go. I can't. (4:39)

I've had a lot of coffee. (4:45)

Blaine? (4:46) Yes?


Can you just get your shit together already? (4:47)

- 268 -

Contents ↑ ...Wes? (4:50)

You can't stop thinking about this. You haven't stopped talking about it for weeks now – months, even. And it used to make you happy, but now it's this happy-unhappy-crying-happy-unhappy-happy mode and

can't you see what that's doing to you? Either you cut him off right now or you decide to *do* something about it.


*Do* something. Don't wait it out and go crazy in the process. I can't watch this happen again. (4:52)

You said that all you've ever been was careful, and I *told* you to be careful. But maybe it's time to stop being so careful when it comes to him, because it's clearly not working out for you. (4:53)

And for heaven's sake, will you two just meet already?! (4:55) ...


I think I just sprained my thumb. (5:03)

Blaine? That was a joke. (5:04)

About the thumb. I'm fine. (5:06)

But the rest wasn't a joke. (5:10)

Outgoing call “Hey. Thanks for calling. I might've sprained my thumb just a little bit.” “Do you want to set me up for heartbreak again?”

“Heartbreak, huh? You can't honestly tell me that you're happy with the situation.” - 269 -

Contents ↑ “No, but what can I do?” “Meet him.”

“He doesn't want to see me. I think he made that pretty clear.”

“But don't you see how weird that is? Why would you even keep up a friendship, then?” “It's complicated.”

“You're making it complicated. Both of you.” “It's really not that easy, Wes.”

“Because he's got a boyfriend? Tell me, Blaine. Why didn't he go and meet you?” “He said-”

“Oh, I know what he said. But do you know? Think about it.” “I don't know what y-” “Think.”

“...What do you... Do you think he's-”

“I think he's just as afraid as you are.”

“...But then, this is something he has to figure out himself. I won't. I can't do that for him.”

“All I want for you is to have some kind of closure. This... thing is just tossing you around.” “I know.”

“And I'm sorry I was a little harsh.” - 270 -

Contents ↑ “You're my voice of reason, remember?” “You say that quite fondly.” “Because I mean it.”

“It wasn't too much?”

“Please. Since when are you going easy on me?” “So will you think about it?” “I told you, it's up to him.”

“So until he gets his shit together, will you try to be calm and reasonable?” “You make me sound like a teenage girl.” “That's not far off.”

“Careful. You might lose your voice of reason status.” “Fine; can't risk that. See you on Thursday?” “Sure.” ~~~


I miss you. (9:56)

You *just* saw me! (9:56)

I know, but I do anyway.

- 271 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (9:58)

Adorable. (9:58)

Breakfast tomorrow? (10:00)

Sure. Sleep well! (10:00) <3



You've been awfully quiet all day, Mr Anderson. (10:34)

I've had a busy, busy day, Mr Hummel. Please accept my apology. (10:34) I do.


It's a shame, though. The silence. (10:35)

Did you miss me? (10:35)

Yes, I did. (10:40)

You didn't thank me for the coffee. (10:41)

I didn't get coffee.

- 272 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:42) ...Why?


I told you, busy day. (10:43) Oh.


Can I get my coffee on Thursday? (10:45)

Let me check. (10:45)

Who do you need to check that with?! (10:46)

My coffee people. (10:46)

Say hello to Rachel for me, will you? (10:47)

...You know too much. (10:47)

Not enough. Never enough. (10:48)

Also, how very gangsta of you. (10:49)

I will ignore that. (10:51)

- 273 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Yes. (10:51) Yes?


Yes, you can get your coffee on Thursday. (10:52)

Then that's what I'm going to do. (10:54) Good.


Just one more thing before I go to bed. (10:56) Yeah?


This is how he sleeps. I just needed to share that with you. Because you deserve all the fluffy fuzzy things in life.

- 274 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018;


That *is* the fluffiest and fuzziest thing I've ever seen omg!!! (11:02)

I can't compete with that. (11:03)

Seeing that we just reduced you to 'omg,' you might be on to something there. (11:04)

Meanwhile I'm sitting here with a depressed dog, that finally abandoned my bed, but chose a rather... unorthodox sleeping place instead. And it's making *me* depressed. This is not what I had in mind. (11:05)

This is what I get for being strict. Heartbreak. (11:06)

...What? - 275 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:08)

This isn't photoshopped.

(11:10) ...No.

(11:11) Oh yes.


No way!!! (11:12)

I swear! (11:13)

This is so depressing, I'm not sure if I can even sleep right now. (11:15)

- 276 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Sorry I dragged you over to the dark side. (11:15)

Not so sure about the coffee, now... (11:16)

You said there would always be coffee, Kurt. (11:17)

I did, didn't I? (11:18)

Maybe a tiny espresso. (11:19)

That is*not* my coffee order. (11:19)

What *is* your coffee order? (11:20)

Ask your spy. (11:20)

She doesn't tell me anything, ever. (11:21)

Riiiiiight. (11:22)

It's true. (11:22)

Goodnight, Kurt. (11:23)

- 277 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; I'm still depressed! (11:25) Blaine!


Blaaaaaaaaaine. (11:28)

I'm taking it all back. All the fluffiness you once deserved. (11:28)

No, you won't. I still deserve it. (11:30)

...Yes, you do. You do. (11:30)

Goodnight! (11:31)

Goodnight. ~~~


Kitchen, cookies, milk, and cat? (11:33)

Oh, Kurt.

- 278 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018;

Chapter Seventeen Wed 4 Feb (10:04am) You left in quite a rush today. Got any ideas for dinner? (10:05) No.


You've been up for a while. You should be wordier by now. (10:06)

I'm sorry. This is the worst breakfast ever. (10:06)

Okay, that was a little dramatic. (10:07)

But this should tell you that it's not going well. (10:07)

What's up? (10:08)

We had a little... no, we didn't have a fight. But there's tension. (10:08) Why?


Because I got two texts from Finn while we ordered. (10:09) And?


And I answered them. - 279 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:10)

...I'm not following. (10:11)

He thinks it's Blaine. Whenever he hears my phone beeping these days, he thinks it's Blaine. (10:11)

I told him he was being ridiculous. (10:12)

How very understanding of you. (10:12)

Are you taking his side now? (10:13)

There are no sides. (10:13)

He's coming back. I have to go. (10:13)

This is a problem, Kurt, and not exactly one you can ignore. (10:14)

I'm setting my phone on mute. ~~~


You never answered my question about dinner. (1:24)

Can't we just order in?

- 280 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (1:24)

Still not feeling better? (1:25)

I don't want to talk about it right now. (1:25)

School is a pain and my presentation was a nightmare. It's just not my day and I don't feel like myself right now. (1:28)

Pizza Wednesday? (1:29)

Yes. Please. ~~~


Can you meet me for coffee (or tea â&#x20AC;&#x201C; I know, I know) after class? (1:57) Sure.


I want to apologize for the horrible morning. (1:58)

What? No! You don't need to apologize - *I* do. (1:59)

No, really. (1:59)

Just... meet me outside, yeah?

- 281 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:00pm) I will. ~~~


Is it normal to get nervous when your boyfriend asks you out for coffee? (2:02)

To talk? (2:02) Yes.


Are you okay? The two of you, I mean. (2:03) Yes.

(2:04) Sure?

(2:08) Yes.



It's a problem. (5:13)

What is? (5:14)

- 282 -

Contents ↑ *Everything*. (5:14)

Texting. (5:14)

He saw me texting with you, and calling the look I got “kicked puppy” would be an understatement. (5:15)

I told you. (5:15)

But it's not... I've never seen him like that. (5:16)

You never gave him a reason to look like that. (5:16)

And I do now? (5:17)

Are you really *that* stupid, Kurt Hummel? (5:17)

Or do you just think that Ethan is stupid? Because that boy might be many things, but stupid is not one of them. (5:18)

What? (5:18)

Figure it out so that I can stop banging my head against a wall. I need my head, Kurt. (5:18)

You're so weird. (5:19)

FIGURE IT OUT. - 283 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:22) Wow.


Am I still allowed to come home for pizza? (5:46)

Did you figure it out? (5:47)

Seriously?! (5:47)

Okay, fine. But only if I'm allowed to bang *your* head against the wall. (5:48)

I will never get used to the crazy scary side of you, Rachel. (5:50)

Psh, that's the thrill of living with me. ~~~


Goodnight, Kurt. (11:04)

Goodnight, Blaine. (11:10)

Is that your way of showing me that you're still around even though we haven't talked all day? (11:11)

You're still awake. (11:12) I am.

- 284 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:12)

Already said goodnight. (11:13)

There's no rule about talking after you say goodnight. (11:13)

Woke me up. (11:14)

You *just* texted me 'goodnight'! (11:14) Mhhh.


You're already falling asleep again, aren't you? (11:15) Mh.


Sweet dreams, Blaine. ******

Thurs 5 Feb (3:33pm) Lonely boy is here. (3:34)

Okay, 1) I told you he'd be stopping by, and 2) you promised not to call him that anymore. (3:35)

Not to his face.

- 285 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (3:35)

I'm still upset about the fact that he doesn't live in Brooklyn. Can we move him to Brooklyn? (3:36)

I knew I shouldn't have gotten you that Gossip Girl DVD box set for your birthday. My biggest regret, to this day. (3:36)

Kurt, you know you love me. (3:37)

I'm deleting your number as we speak. (3:37)

Never. You need me. You're like a lost little lamb. (3:38)

Rachel... (3:38)

Okay, okay, back to more important things. (3:38)

Lonely boy isn't so lonely today. (3:39)

Nice try. (3:39)

No, really. That guy is back. (3:40)

Well, what's his name? (3:41)

I don't know. He stayed back at their table and Blaine got the coffee. - 286 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (3:43)

But I can find out if you want me to. Blaine thinks I'm your spy, anyway. I might as well act like one. (3:43) Don't.


I've got a break coming up. It's a slow day. (3:45)

Rachel! (3:47)

Come back. (3:49)

Right now. (4:25)

Well, that was pleasant. (4:26)

What did you do?! (4:27)

Nothing, I just had coffee with them. Lovely boys. (4:27)

What did you do? (4:48)

I showed them all the embarrassing pictures I've got on my phone. (4:49)

You think you're funny, Rachel, but you never are.

- 287 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (4:49)

It's cute how you want me to believe that you don't care. But Kurt... You always do. (4:49)

More than you want to admit. (4:50)

What did you talk about? (4:51)

See? You *always* do. (4:51)

We talked about college; Ohio. Did you know that both Blaine and Wes were members of the Warblers?! (4:52)

Wes, huh? (4:53)

Damn. I wanted to tease you with the mystery guy some more. (4:53)

You would. (4:54)

Come on, don't focus on that. Lonely boy was their lead soloist, too. (4:55)

You could've met in high school! (4:58)

But we didn't. (4:58)

But you could've.

- 288 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (4:59)

It's not important. (4:59)

Of course it's important, dummy. It's all connected. Don't you think that's odd? (5:01)

Are you trying to tell me that this is another sign? (5:01)

Maybe. (5:02)

Don't you think it's a 'sign' that we didn't meet, even though we were that close to each other? (5:04)

Who knows? Maybe the universe thought that you both needed some more time. You needed to get out first. And now you're ready. (5:04)

For what? (5:05)

To find yourself. (5:05)

You watch too many romcoms. (5:08)

Do you really believe in that? (5:09)

Don't you? ~~~ - 289 -

Contents ↑ (9:15pm)

No comment about today's coffee adventures? (9:16)

No “You and Rachel broke the deal!!! Traitors!!!”? (9:16)

No snarky remark about blazers? (9:17)

No joke about my leading man qualities? (9:19)

No “Hey Blaine, how was your day?” (9:20)

Hey Blaine, how was your day? (9:20)

Really? That's the one you're going with? (9:21) Yes.


Rachel already told me about the coffee adventures, and the deal wasn't *my *deal, if I remember correctly *you* made the deal. I keep saying that I'm fine with it and that I don't have any spies. I also already knew about the blazer. (9:23)

Snorting about your 'leading man' comment, though. (9:23) Hey!


She told me that you're anything but fine with it. (9:24)

That's a lie.

- 290 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (9:24) Is it?


...Did she really show you pictures? (9:26)

She offered. (9:27)

She's so dead. (9:27)

Wait... So you didn't look at them? (9:28)

No. I think she was just teasing or testing me, but I guess we'll never find out. I declined. (9:28) Why?


I told you I'm a gentleman. (9:31)

That's... (9:31) Yeah?


Nothing. (9:45) Kurt?

- 291 -

Contents ↑ (9:46) Yes?


Seeing you for the first time... I don't want that to be a picture. I want it to be in person. (9:48) Oh.


Fri 6 Feb (4:45pm) Can you come over a little earlier? We need to talk. (4:46)

Outgoing Call “Hey...”

“Hi! I hope you're aware that that's the worst way to ask your boyfriend over for a movie night.” “I'm sorry...”

“...Are you... Are you crying?” “I'm... No...”

“...You are. What happened? Is it your mom?” “No, she's fine. Can you please just come over?” “Yes, of course. I'll be there as soon as I can.” ******

- 292 -

Contents ↑ Sat 7 Feb (9:03am) Hey you! Thought you wanted to come home for the night. Lunch still happening? (9:05)

Outgoing Call “Hi! No need to call. A simple yes or no would've been enough.” “Hey.” “Lunch?” “Dunno.” “Did you make plans with Ethan?” “...” “Kurt?” “I don't know.” “What's wrong? You sound hungover.” “That's one way to put it.” “Okay, honey, now you're worrying me. Did he make you watch horror movies?” “We didn't even get to the movie.” “...Meaning?” “We were up all night. ...Talking. And...” “And?” “Rachel...” - 293 -

Contents ↑ “What?” “...I did it.” “Honey, you have to speak up. I can't hear you.” “We broke up. I... I broke up with him.” “Oh, Kurt...” “I'm sorry. I don't want to cry, because I know that you cry when I cry and there was enough crying last night and there'll be more when he wakes up and part of me just wants to leave, because I can't take it. I'm waiting for him to wake up; I need him to wake up. But then... He fell asleep, just for a little while and I'm glad, because I just can't take that look on his face, knowing I was the one who put it there. And I don't... I didn't think that... The way he reacted... I couldn't do this to him anymore.” “Shhhhhhhh, take a deep breath.” “I told myself not to cry, and I haven't. Why am I crying now?” “It's okay to cry, sweetie.” “Can you just not call me that right now? I feel... I feel like -” “Hey, don't. I know what you're thinking. Don't.” “...” “Do you want me to come get you?” “...No. I don't want to leave.” “Okay.” “...” - 294 -

Contents ↑ “You'll have to leave eventually, Kurt.” “I don't know how to do this.” “There's no official breakup protocol, but you do have to leave in the end. That's kind of what a breakup means.” “Maybe that's the thing. Leaving... That's... It sounds so final.” “How do you feel?” “Like shit.” “No, but... Do you still think it was the right decision? It's not exactly a surprise, is it?” “...My head is spinning.” “Okay, okay, no more questions; I get it. Please just... Try to calm down, okay? And my offer still stands. I can come over.” “Okay.” “Okay?” “I'll text you. I don't even know what's left and right anymore.” “I wish I could hug you right now.” “...I think he's waking up.” “Okay. Text me.” “I will.” ~~~

- 295 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (1:23pm) Okay.


On my way. ******

Sun 8 Feb (5:15pm) We need to talk. (5:16)

I think we do.

- 296 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018;

Chapter Eighteen Sun 8 Feb (5:17pm) Wait. What's up with yours? (5:18)

Mine walks the entirety of Central Park South each Sunday and Bradshaw and I are getting tired. (5:19)

Why? What is yours doing? (5:19)

That's delicate intel. (5:21)

How delicate? (5:21)

Game-changing. (5:23)

Well, are you going to tell me? (5:24)

You can't tell him. (5:24)

He doesn't even know we're talking. (5:25)

Promise. (5:25)

Come on! (5:26)

- 297 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Promise on your gavel, Wes. (5:26)

What? (5:27)

I don't know what you're talking about. (5:28)

Blaine said you kept it. (5:28)

It's on your desk. Left side. You use it as a paperweight. (5:29) ...


We put your bathroom break to good use. (5:30)

For what, future blackmailing plans? Whose side are you on? (5:30)

I'm just asking you to keep it to yourself. (5:31)

Operation KB can only succeed if we forge an alliance. (5:33)

Can I ask you something? (5:33) Sure.


Why are you in on this? - 298 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:34)

Because I want Kurt to be happy. (5:35)

But I thought he *was* happy. That's what he told Blaine. (5:36)

Ethan was... (5:36)

He was good for Kurt. I knew that, even though we got off on the wrong foot. Before him, it had always been just the two of us . Ethan marched in with this... nonchalance, and shook it all up. I guess I wasn't prepared. (5:37)

Kurt keeps joking that we're too much alike and that's why we clash. (5:37)

Anyway. He gave Kurt strength, confidence, something to hold on to, and yes, he made him happy. We weren't best friends, but he was a good guy. (5:38)

So, again... Why are you in on this? (5:39)

Because I know Kurt. I know him more than he knows himself sometimes, especially when it comes to this. (5:40)

I saw the changes in him, ever since he and Blaine started texting. It wasn't much at first, and I didn't even know about Blaine's existence in the beginning, but - looking back at it, everything made sense. (5:41)

The smile on his face when he texted, his eyes lighting up... Subtle, but still noticeable. (5:42)

Not to mention the obsession that came with the missions. Of course, I knew about Blaine by then, even though Kurt didn't like to talk about him.

- 299 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:43)

Obsession? (5:45)

All of them had to be perfect - absolutely perfect. Who does things like that for someone who's supposed to be a stranger? (5:46)

Okay, let me get this straight. Delicate intel, Operation KB, the past tense when you talk about Ethan. What are you trying to tell me? (5:48)

Kurt broke up with him. (5:49)

WHAT??!! (5:49)

When? (5:50)

On Friday. (5:52)

Speechless? (5:53)

Kind of. (5:54)

What does it mean? (5:55)

I don't know yet; I'm giving him time to breathe. He's a mess. (5:56)

Naturally. - 300 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:57)

Wow. I didn't see that coming. (5:58) I did.


He won't admit it, not even to himself, but it's been on his mind for weeks. (5:59)

Do you think he did it because of Blaine? (6:01pm)

No, he definitely did it for Ethan. And for himself. I mean... He's never even met Blaine, not really. Not in a way that counts. And still he was so caught up in him and Blaine, so focused on everything that came with them, that he lost sight of his actual boyfriend. (6:02)

I'm only guessing here, but I think he saw that they weren't right for each other. They made each other happy, but there's happy and then there's *happy*. (6:04)

So what now? (6:05)

For now, we wait. (6:05) Okay.


Keep me updated? (6:08) I will.


And don't tell Blaine.

- 301 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (6:09)

I won't. It's not up to me. ******

Mon 9 Feb (3:04pm) Random, maybe not so random thought coming up. I woke up with this on my mind, and so far, my day proved that I'm right and it's not even a Tuesday. (3:05)

When something doesn't work the way *they* want it to, some people just turn around and leave, instead of looking for a solution or, heaven forbid, changing something about themselves to make it work. (3:10) Well.


Sorry, that must've come off weird. (3:16)

It's okay to let things go. (3:17)

No, I know. But sometimes that's just the *easiest* thing to do. It's lazy. And for me, I'm always the one picking up the pieces, trying to get everyone to work together. (3:25)

But what if it's not? What if you know that there's nothing you can do? Then letting go, admitting defeat, is the best option there is. It's not lazy - it's anything but. It's the hardest thing. (3:26)

And what do you know? You can't look inside people's minds. What if they have a good reason to do the things they do? And why would you have to try and change anyway? You wouldn't have to change if all was well in the first place. (3:28)

I... It was just a thought. One of my random silly thoughts. Sorry.

- 302 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ~~~


It's unusually sunny for a February. Bradshaw is sad about his snow being gone, but I could actually have my coffee outside tomorrow. (4:17)

It's cold. (4:18)

Yeah, but the sunshine is nice, isn't it? (4:19)

Global warming isn't nice, Blaine. (4:20) It's...

(4:41) Okay.


Wed 11 Feb (12:23pm) Did I do something wrong? (12:29)

It was my stupid rambling, wasn't it? (1:05pm)

I'm sorry. You know I can't keep my mouth shut. (1:12)

I babble. (1:13)

I'm a babbler. (1:13)

Ahhh, stop me. - 303 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (1:14)

You really have to stop me. (1:55)

Just give me a sign that I didn't piss you off. (1:59)

No? Okay. ******

Thurs 12 Feb (6:01pm) Blaine. (6:15)

Hi stranger! (6:16)

It's what I do. (6:18)

What? (6:19)

Whenever I don't know what to say or what to do... Whenever I'm annoyed with myself... Instead of explaining, I lash out. It's not okay, but it's what I do. And now you know. (6:20)

I'm sorry. (6:21)

...What's going on? (6:23)

Nothing. (6:23)

You've been off all week.

- 304 -

Contents ↑ (6:24)

Thursday is not 'all week.' Don't be ridiculous. (6:25)

Are you doing that thing where you lash out instead of explaining yourself? (6:26)

Don't use this against me. (6:26)

I'm not. (6:27)

I'm just worried, that's all. (6:28)

Okay. I will explain this. (6:30)

Just... Not yet. (6:30)

Please. (6:31) Okay.


Mon 16 Feb (4:45pm) Incoming Call “Oh my God, Max, stop calling me. I told you I'd be right over. Five minutes, okay? You can wait five more minutes. I'm- Max? Hello? “...Shit... Kurt. Hello?” ~~~

- 305 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (4:47pm)

Why was caller ID invented when I never check it anyway? (4:47)

You're a flaily mess. (4:48)

Stop being so kind and helpful, Wes, it's overwhelming. (4:48)

It's not that hard, Blaine. Maybe one of these days we can have a 'How to use a cell phone' class again; it's been a while. (4:49)

So I have to wade through the mess that is my life on my own now? (4:50)

If it involves not checking caller ID? Yes, dear. (4:50)

Grrrrrrrrargh. (4:51) :)



Hey, I'm sorry about that. I didn't know it was you until I checked the name on the screen. (5:01)

Which I should've done *before* answering the call, I know. (5:04)

And now you're not picking up... Just... When you get this, call me? Or... I'm busy right now, but I'll try again later. And when I do, don't hang up again, okay?

- 306 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:10)

Or do. I mean, you don't have to talk to me. (5:21)

Maybe you called me by accident, so... (5:23)

But you can call me if you want to. Anytime. ~~~


You know, given the caller ID incident earlier today and now my ongoing word vomit... Maybe you were right. Maybe we should lock my phone away. Or destroy it. (7:14)

Is there a Mount Doom in New York City? (7:15)

You're phone is *not* the One Ring, Anderson, no matter how precious you think it is. (7:15)

Wesleyyy. (7:16)

Does the Empire State Building qualify? (7:17)

Maybe by night when the lights can be interpreted as lava. (7:18)

Are you texting those thoughts to anyone else but me? (7:20) No.

(7:21) Good.

- 307 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (7:21) Why?


Don't want them to lock you up. (7:23)

~obscene gesture~ (7:23)

Adorable. ~~~

(11:23pm) Hi.


Hey you. (11:25)

Are you still up? (11:26)

I'm replying, right? (11:27)

I mean... Yeah, I'm not sleepy or anything. (11:27)

I've been practicing a lot, so... (11:28)

Practicing? (11:28) Music.

- 308 -

Contents ↑ (11:31)

Can I call you? (11:31) Sure.


Incoming Call “Hey...”

“I'm sorry about earlier today.” “No, I am.”

“I should've said something instead of just hanging up on you.” “So that was deliberate, huh?” “Not... Not really. I panicked.” “Panicked?”

“Blaine... I need to tell you something.” “...Okay?” “...”

“It's okay; you can tell me anything, Kurt. Really.”

“This is different. And difficult. I didn't think it would be so difficult. And... I thought about not telling you, not yet, but I can't talk to you without telling you and then you'd be wondering what's wrong and-” “Shhhhh, hey. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. …I could stay on the phone all night and wait till you're ready, if that's what you need.”

- 309 -

Contents ↑ “Stop that.” “What?”

“Stop being so... understanding.” “Do you want me to force it out of you?” “No. ...Blaine?” “Yes?”

“I broke up with my boyfriend. ...Ex-boyfriend. Ethan. I... I broke up with Ethan.” “...”

“...This is the part where you say something. Anything.” “I... I don't know what to say. …Are you okay?” “...”

“That's a very telling sigh.”

“No, it's... It's still fresh, but... I'm dealing with it.” “You've got people to talk to, right?” “Yes.”

“Okay, good. ...Is there anything I can do? I mean... That might be a little weird, but... You're my friend, so... I'm... Jesus Christ, I'm not doing a really good job here, am I?” “It's fine. I don't expect you to do anything.” “Can I ask why?”

- 310 -

Contents ↑ “Why what?” “Why did you do it?” “...”

“You don't have to answer that.”

“No, I want to. Honesty, remember?” “Mhm.”

“I told you about him. About how he was the strongest person I knew. And... Wait, before I go on, I need to say something else.” “Okay.”

“None of this is your fault. It's all between me and him, okay?” “Yeah...”

“Blaine.” “Yes.”

“When I told him about us - about us texting, about our friendship - I thought we were okay. He wasn't thrilled and there was this weird silence between us, but it got better and we talked it out. He said it was fine and I believed him. In hindsight, I know how stupid that was - how stupid and blind I was. “He put two and two together in his head and I guess he started to look differently on some things that had happened over the last couple of months. And then it didn't matter anymore whether I texted Rachel or my dad or someone else - it was always you, in his mind. He saw you everywhere, in everything-” “That's kind of m-”

“No, let me finish this.” - 311 -

Contents ↑ “Okay.”

“I guess I wanted to ignore it, ignore the signs, because pretending that everything was fine was easy.” “Kurt, what I said before... That day... That wasn't about you.” “I know. It's okay.” “Good. Go on.”

“And then, one day, he just cracked. He broke down completely and... I'd never seen him like that before. Never. To know that it was my fault... That he... That I was doing that to him... It was like a slap in the face and fuck, did I need that slap. It was a wake-up call.” “And then... you broke up with him?”

“Yes. Just... It was the only thing I could've done. ...Blaine?” “Shit... Yes?”

“Blaine, there's... There's another side to it, of course there is, and I know what I'm leaving unsaid. I can only imagine what you must be thinking now, but I-” “Hey, no. I'm not... I'm not expecting anything. It's good that you told me about this, but I'm not expecting anything.”

“I know I'm not in a position to ask... Actually, it's a horrible thing to ask, now, after all this, but-” “But you can.”

“...Is it okay if I take some time?” “To think?” “Yes.”

- 312 -

Contents ↑ “Of course. You can take all the time you need. And when you're done, I'll be here and we can talk about it. Whatever 'it' is.” “Thank you.”

“Thank you for being so open about this. And Kurt?” “Yeah?”

“I'm a lot stronger than you might think. We're a lot stronger. It's going to be fine.” “...Okay. I'm... I'll-”

“Shhhh. Whenever you're ready.” “...Goodnight, Blaine.” “Goodnight, Kurt.” ******

Tues 17 Feb (2:23pm) He knows. (2:27)

I know. (2:28)

Is he okay? (2:28)

Yes. He's... He's being very reasonable about this. (2:29)

Yours? - 313 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:30)

Ups and downs. (2:31)

He just told me off for my outfit of the day, though. (2:32)

And that's a good sign? (2:32)

The best. ******

Sun 21 Feb (4:23pm) Has he come in for coffee at all? (4:29)

No. Stop asking. (4:30) Fine.


This is him giving you space, too, you know? (4:43) Yes.


Sun 28 Feb (9:46am) I envy you sometimes. (9:55) Hm?

- 314 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (9:56)

That you get to walk your dog. It must be amazing for clearing your head. (9:58)

You could walk your cat. (9:59)

Only if I got him a fashionable leash and little matching boots. (10:02)

Would that be for him or for you? (10:03)

That's a blurry line. (10:05)

Hi, also. (10:06) Hey.


Do you come here often? (10:07)

...Really, Blaine? Really? (10:08)

...Sorry, I was trying to break the ice. (10:10)

Well, now there's a hole in the ice. And you're in it. And you're sinking. (10:10) ...

- 315 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:11)

Do you want me to give you a hand? (10:12)

Is your name Scar? (10:12) No.


Then yes. (10:14)

So, how are you? (10:15)

Wait, is this supposed to be your hand? (10:15)

Just take it, Blaine. (10:16)

It's a not a very strong hold, is it? (10:17)

You dug the hole. (10:17)

Maybe we should go light on the metaphors... (10:18) Maybe.


I'm good. I'm... busy.

- 316 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:21) You?

(10:22) Same.


Why is this so difficult? (10:26)

Because it's a defining moment? Or at least we think it is? (10:27)

But... it doesn't have to be. We don't have to do this now. I guess we could just... pick up talking and see where it goes? (10:28)

I'd like that. ~~~


Hey Blaine? (11:24) Mhm?


I think I missed you a little bit. (11:27)

I think I missed you a little bit, too. ~~~~~~ (2:22pm)

Did you tell him? - 317 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:31) Yeah.


And what is he going to do with that? (2:34)

The thing with Blaine is... Sometimes you just need to give him a little push in the right direction and then he does it all on his own, expectations exceeded. (2:35) Good.

~~~~~~ (5:02pm)

Are you busy? (5:03)

It's a Sunday. (5:03) And?


It's a *Sunday*. (5:04)

So you're not? (5:04)

No. That's what I was trying to say. (5:06) Good.

- 318 -

Contents ↑ (5:06) Why?


Blaine?! (5:09)

Incoming Call “What are you doing?!” “Hello to you, too.”

“Mhm, yes. What are you doing?” “You're entirely too grumpy for a Sunday.” “I thought I was being unusually cheer-” “You're still in bed.”

“-ful. ...How do you know that?” “So you admit it!” “You're creepy.”

“I've got the sixth sense.” “Super creepy.”

“I also heard your blanket rustling.” “More creepy. King of creepy.”

“But it's perfect! Now you get to sit back and enjoy.” “...I... What?!”

- 319 -

Contents ↑ “Shhh; just listen.”

“Listen to what? Blaine, you're freaking me out. Maybe in the weeks we didn't talk to each other you snapped and-” “Trust me and listen.” “I... Fine. But if y-” “Uh! Listen.” “Okay.” “...”

“What are you... Oh, okay...”

“Hey, so that was... Are you still there?”

“I... Yes.” “Good.” “I'm...”


“A bit speechless.” “Good!”

“You're such a... Was that... was that Super Bass?!” - 320 -

Contents ↑ “Indeed.”

“Oh my god.” “Well, did it make you smile?”

“It... Yes. Yes, it made me smile.” “So you won't put up a fight again when I call you tomorrow evening?” “...What are you planning?” “Nothing.” “Blaine.”

“Shush, you.”

“Is that your mission now?” “Maybe?”

“Should I be scared?” “No, but you could be excited.” “We'll see about that.” “Just pick up, okay?” “Okay.”

“Bye, Kurt!”

“...You're impossible. Bye.” - 321 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ~~~~~~ (5:34pm)

Thank you. (5:35)

It was a pleasure playing for you. ~~~~~~ (5:36pm)

Omg Rachel. (5:38)

Did you leave the bed? (5:39)

I can't *move*. (5:39)

Huh. That's new.

- 322 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018;

Chapter Nineteen Sun 1 Mar (7:15pm) You were right about Blaine. (7:21) Yeah?

(7:22) Yes.


How so? (7:23)

I just got home and I haven't seen Kurt like this since... Well, you know. (7:24)

That's my boy. (7:26)

Okay, things are going great so far, but let's keep an eye on them. (7:27)

Always - I don't trust them yet. Stupid boys. (7:27)

- 323 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ...Is that a generalization? (7:29)

Maybe? (7:29)

Remember, we're supposed to be on the same team. (7:30)

We are, Wes. But *I* run this show. ~~~~~~ (8:01pm)

How's it going, Blainey? (8:02)

Stop it. You promised. (8:02)

Okay, *Blaine.* (8:04) So?


What? - 324 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (8:05)

What's up? (8:06)

You're weird, that's what's up. (8:06)

I just want to know how you are. (8:07)

You already saw me today. I had two arms and two legs. Nothing's changed. (8:07)

Yes, but we talked. About stuff. (8:08)

If you're trying to be subtle, you can stop. I can see right through it. (8:08)

Come on, give me the details. (8:09)

You're so gossipy, Wesley. I'm appalled. (8:10)

Hey, what's wrong with being curious? After all we've been through over the last couple of months... - 325 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (8:11)

It's like you're willing to share the pain, but not the joy. (8:12)

Share the joy, Blaine. (8:13)

You're. Being. Weird. (8:13)

Just let me have this, okay? For now. (8:14) Fine.


Blainey. (8:15)

Low blow. (8:15)

Mwuah! ******

Mon 2 Mar (7:33am) - 326 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Look at him, he's living the life.


And here *I* am, leaving the house at midnight. (7:46) Birds.


What? (7:48)

The birds should be your role models. I just took Bradshaw out for his morning walk and they're exceptionally cheerful today. Spring is just around the corner. (7:49)

It's the beginning of March, Blaine. You're seeing things. (7:52)

Are you sure you're not some character from a Disney movie? Birds, squirrels, dogs... Are you talking to them? (7:53)

No, don't answer that. Of course you're talking to them.

- 327 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (7:54)

When you introduced me to your cat, you said he was your third roommate. (7:55)

That's because he's the size of a dog. (7:55)

Whatever. (7:56)

I'll tell the birds to say hi when they see you. (7:56)

Please don't. (7:57)

Why not? (7:58)

Do you know who Hitchcock is? (7:58)

Afraid of birds. Got it. (7:59)

Are you writing that down? - 328 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (8:03)

It's going into my Kurt Hummel file. (8:04)

You're such a dork. (8:07)

You're trying to come up with a snarky nickname and failing, aren't you? (8:08) ...No?


Have a nice day, Blaine! (8:09)

You too... Kurt. (8:10)

That's it. That's the snarky nickname. (8:10)

Got it? Because you're... (8:11) ...No?

- 329 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (8:13) Okay.


(10:02am) Bored.


In class? (10:05) Yes.


That feels familiar. (10:07)

But it's Monday, not Thursday. (10:08)

My boring class in on Mondays now, Blaine. Keep up. (10:08)

Already writing it down. (10:09)

- 330 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; What else is in that file? (10:10)

Like I would tell *you.* ~~~~~~ (1:14pm)

Do you think it's too late to switch schools? (1:15)

Ran into him again? (1:15)

All. The. Time. I don't know if I can take it. (1:16)

You can, Kurt. (1:16)

I wouldn't be so sure. (1:17)

You're not having second thoughts, are you? (1:20)

No, I... No. Of course not. You know this wasn't something I decided on the fly. - 331 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (1:21) But?


It's so hard. What do we do now? I keep seeing him on a daily basis and it's always awkward, and painful, and... (1:23)

Do you see yourself being friends with him? (1:25)

At the moment, all I want to do whenever I see him is run and I'm sure he feels the same way. (1:26)

Then give it time. (1:26) Hm.


And Kurt? (1:28) Yes?


Remember: you've survived worse. <3 - 332 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ~~~~~~ (2:01pm)

I think my Mondays are your Tuesdays. (2:04)

Rainy day? (2:05)

I feel like this could be another rainy week. (2:08)

Rain is okay if you've got an umbrella. (2:08)

Well, I seem to have forgotten mine. (2:09)

You know you're just challenging me by saying that, right? (2:11)

Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. You don't have to do anything. (2:12)

Well, you didn't have to do anything either, but you did. (2:12)

- 333 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; That was different. (2:13) How?


It was Christmas and you were sad and nobody should feel like that around Christmas, Blaine. (2:16)

So you built me a basement. (2:17)

What? (2:17)

From my hurricane. (2:20) ...

(2:20) :)

~~~~~~ (2:21) Heart.

- 334 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:21)

What? (2:22)

My heart. (2:23)

What about your heart, honey? (2:23)

It's doing stuff. (2:23) Stuff?


I don't know, Rachel. I really don't know. (2:25)

You're having quite the rollercoaster ride today, huh? (2:25)

This is not a drill, Rachel. (2:26)

Oookay. - 335 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:27)

If this is about what I think it is... (2:28) Kurt.

(2:28) Yes?


Don't you think you should do something about it? (2:29)

Do what? (2:29)

You know. (2:30)

Rachel... I can't ask him to meet me again. Not after what happened last time. (2:30)

But things are different now! (2:32)

What if he says no? - 336 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:32)

What if... What if everything goes wrong again? (2:34)

What if we're not... (2:35)

I can't. (2:36) Okay.

~~~~~~ (2:44pm)

What about the Tuesdays then? (2:48) Hm?


It didn't start with Christmas. It started with the Tuesdays. (2:50)

That's... (2:51) - 337 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; You know I'm right. (2:52)

I like making people happy. (2:53)

I like making *you* happy. (2:54)

That feels familiar. (2:55)

Thought so. ~~~~~~ (2:37pm)

I think mine is freaking out. (2:38)

Yours? (2:40)

Doing fine, I guess. (2:41)

Determined, maybe. - 338 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:43)

Good. That's something. We need some determination in this equation. (2:44)

Let's see where this goes. (2:45) Okay.


There's something I'd really like to know, but have always been afraid to ask. (3:05)

Go on. (3:06)

You're not allowed to laugh or judge. (3:07)

Okay. ;) (3:09)

I'm just wondering. (3:09)

Come on, Warbler Wes. I don't bite. - 339 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (3:10)

On a scale from 1 to 10, how good-looking is Kurt? (3:11)

Weees! Oh my god. (3:12)

You said you wouldn't judge. (3:12)

I'm just looking out for my bro. (3:13)

You're *curious*, that's what you are. (3:13)

He's a 12. (3:14)

Are you speaking as his best friend or...? (3:15)

I'm speaking as a human being. (3:16)

Kurt is really special and anyone would be lucky to have him. - 340 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (3:16)

Anything else you'd like to know? (3:17)

Not right now, thank you. ;) (3:19)

God, how I would love to tease Blaine with that piece of information. (3:20)

Oh, so *that's* what that was for. (3:21)


~~~~~~ (4:23pm)

Will you be home by 7? (4:26) Yes.

(4:27) Okay.

~~~~~~ - 341 -

Contents ↑ (7:23pm) Ready? (7:25) Yes.


Really? (7:26)

God, Blaine, just call me already! (7:26)

Whoa, okay. (7:27)

Incoming Call “Hi.” “You're bossy.”

“And you were being complicated.” “I was not. I just didn't want to shock you.” “By calling me?” “Yeah.” - 342 -

Contents ↑ “Don't you think we're past that now?” “...Okay, maybe I was being complicated. Sometimes I over-think, sorry.” “Stop apologizing and be my umbrella, Blaine.”

“You know how to charm a guy, Kurt. I'm impressed.” “That wasn't... I mean... I-”

“Relax. Are you comfortable? “...Yes?”

“Good.” Click below

direct link

“...Kidding.” “Blaine!”

“That wasn't what I wanted to play for you. I got carried away.” “Do you know how to play every song by heart?” “Not every song.”

“Are you being modest?” “I'm really not. Can I have a second go?” “Absolutely.”

- 343 -

Contents ↑ “Okay. It's not... Maybe it's not... I hope you won't be disappointed after yesterd-” “Blaine.” “Yeah?”

“Stop overthinking.” “...Okay.” Click for

direct link “...”

“So that was... It's just something I've been working on...” “...”


“I... I'm here.” “...Are you okay?” “Mhm.”

“Oh god, I should've said something about the song before. It's not... You know the song, right? ...Of course you do. It's not about the lyrics; I didn't pick it for the lyrics. That would've been... It's not-” “Blaine.” “...Yes?”

“It was beautiful.” - 344 -

Contents ↑ “Oh.”

“How did you do that?” “What?”

“How did you turn that song into something like that?” “Oh... Well, I... I just played around with it. I lov- … I mean, I like looking at things from a different angle once in a while.”

“It worked. Can I ask you something, though?” “I'm not going to tear you apart and break your heart, if that's what you're wondering.” “...”

“Oh god, sorry. Sorry. See, this is why you need to be warned about me calling you. You need to prepare yourself for my outbursts. I told you that I start to ramble when I get nervous and-” “You're nervous?” “No, I... Yes.” “Adorable.” “What?”

“I said you're adorable.” “Oh... Okay, well, uhm... I guess... Are you laughing?” “...No?”

“...You're enjoying this, aren't you?”

- 345 -

Contents ↑ “Yes. Wasn't that the purpose of your call?” “You're mocking me.”

“No, I'm not. Will you play for me some more?” “Was that what you wanted to ask?” “Sort of, yes.”

“You only get one song a day and you got almost two today.” “Exactly, almost. Tomorrow then?” “One song.”

“Do you pick them at random or...?” “I never pick anything at random, Kurt.” “But it's not about the lyrics?” “It's not about the lyrics.”

“Good. Same time tomorrow?” “Yes.”

“I'll try to think of more silly Top 40 songs you could put your spin on until then.” “So, all of them?”

“Ah, not so modest after all.” “You gave me an ego boost.” - 346 -

Contents ↑ “...Good. Tomorrow?” “Tomorrow.” ~~~~~~ (8:05pm)


Is this supposed to make sense? (8:09)

Please file this under “Things I need to text you before I send them to Blaine instead and make a fool out of myself”. (8:10)

It's a safety measure. (8:11)

Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuurt!!! (8:12) Yes?


Anything you want to tell me? (8:13)

- 347 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Just that. (8:14)

I hate you. (8:15)

I hate you, too. <3 ~~~~~~ (8:33pm)

Something is happening. (8:35)

Something is happening? (8:36)

Yes. Something is definitely happening. Tues 3 Mar (10:01am) It's Tuesday. (10:11)

Yes it is. (10:12)

I know you feel like it's your turn with the missions, but you know that doesn't mean you can't get your coffee, right? - 348 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:13)

I guess so. (10:15)

Is Rachel working? (10:16)

No, not today. (10:16) :(


Aw, sorry. I didn't know that you'd gotten attached to her. (10:17)

She's my coffee person, Kurt. (10:17)

Oookay, I'll tell her that. (10:18)

No need to get jealous. (10:20)

Nice try, Blaine. - 349 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:21) :P

~~~~~~ (7:34pm)

I'm going to be a little late tonight. (7:39)

That's fine, don't worry about it. (7:40)

I'm still stuck with homework, anyway. (7:42)

I lost his toy and now he won't go inside.


He doesn't seem to be all that torn up about it. (7:45)

He still thinks we're going to find it. Hopeless optimist. (7:50)

- 350 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Can I tell you a secret? (7:51) Yes.


*He* lost it. ~~~~~~ (7:53pm)

Everything okay there in your room? (7:54)

Am I not allowed to laugh? (7:54)

Actually, I missed your laugh. Please continue. (7:55)

Anything you want to share, though? (7:56)

Stop asking me that and bring me dinner. (7:56)

Come and get it. - 351 -

Contents ↑ ~~~~~~ (8:42pm)

Incoming call “Blaine! Hi!” “Is this a bad time?”

“No, no, you just... You didn't warn me this time.” “Well, you said I was being complicated when I did. Sometimes I listen to you, you know?” “Good. Uhm... I... Oh my god, Rachel, stop it... Stop!... Ra-” “...Kurt?”

“...That woman is a monster; sorry about that. I escaped. “She says hi, by the way... Not that it matters.” “Is that a normal evening for you? Wrestling with your roommate?” “It was fine before you called.” “Oh, so it's my fault?” “I believe so.”

“Can I make it up to you?”

“I think I know something that would change my mind about you.” “About me? It's that bad, huh? What can I do for you?” - 352 -

Contents ↑ “Two songs, Blaine.” “...”

“Don't laugh! This is a serious matter. I'm addicted.” “Obviously. Let me start with one and then we'll see, yeah?” “This is a trick, Anderson. You're tricking me.”

“Oooh, you know it's serious when the last name comes out.” “Please.”

“Sit back and be quiet.” “...Fine.”

“No snarky comeback?” “I'm waiting.” “Okay.”

Click for

direct link “How...”


“You're amazing.” “...” - 353 -

Contents ↑ “You are. I could listen to you play every single day.” “...Is that an offer?”

“No, silly. It's a request.” “Kurt...” “Mhm?” “I...”

“Mhhh?” “...Are you sleepy?”

“Maybe. Bad night, long day.” “Do you want me to go off the record?” “What?”

“I could play another piece for you, but it wouldn't be part of my theme.” “Yes, please.”

“Are you comfortable?” “Very.”

--> click to play (youtube) <--

- 354 -

Contents ↑ “Kurt?”

“Hey Blaine.” “...Rachel. Hi.”

“Sorry, he fell asleep and almost dropped his phone.” “...Is he okay?”

“Oh, I only heard the last notes, but I'm sure he loved it. He looks peaceful. ...He's been... He could really use a good night of sleep.” “...Good.”

“Blaine?” “Yeah?”

“Could you come over to the coffee shop tomorrow?” “Tomorrow. Uhm... Sure?” “We need to talk.”

“...Am I in trouble?”

“No, but there's something we need to discuss.” “And... We can't do that now?”

“No. We need another person.” “What...”

“Trust me. After class?” - 355 -

Contents ↑ “...Okay.”

“Great! See you then. Bye!” “...Bye.”

~~~~~~ (9:45pm)

Sweet dreams, Kurt. ******

Wed 4 Mar (10:23am) Think Coffee, 4pm? (10:29)

I'm already meeting with Rachel. (10:30)

That's okay, I don't mind. (10:31)

She wants to talk to me. (10:31) I know.

(10:32) - 356 -

Contents ↑ ...You know? (10:33) Yup.


...Are you... No. It can't be. (10:34) What?


She mentioned... Wes, are you the other person she mentioned?! (10:36)

Did she say “tall, handsome, dark hair”? (10:36)

And who would that be? (10:38) Ha. Ha.


Maybe we shouldn't help you. Maybe you don't deserve it. (10:40)

- 357 -

Contents ↑ “We”? Oh god. (10:42)

You left us alone for 5 minutes, and we were both getting frustrated with the hot and cold thing you've got going on. Can you blame us? (10:43)

I can't believe this. (10:43)

No, actually, I can. I can't believe *I* didn't see it coming. (10:44)

So what's today? An intervention?! (10:45) Maybe.


We'd like to help. (10:47)

I don't need help. (10:48)

Oh yes you do. (10:48)

- 358 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; I'm doing fine. (10:49)

What you're doing is good, but it's not enough. (10:50)

Not enough for what? (10:52)

To get your boy. (10:53)

That's not what this is about. (10:55) Sure.


He loves what you're doing for him, but you need to step it up. He won't make the next move and you're somehow too polite to make yours. That's where we come in. (10:57)

I don't like where this is going. (10:59)

4pm, Blaine. (11:00)

- 359 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Do I have to? (11:01)

Do you want me to drag you there by your hair? (11:02) ...Fine.

~~~~~~ (1:02pm)

I found the concert tickets we got for next week. (1:23)

...I forgot about those. (1:24)

You can have them if you want. (1:25)

It's your favorite band, not mine. (1:26)

I know, but... I thought we could... (1:27)

Ethan. - 360 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (1:27)

Please... Please, don't. (1:29)

I know. Sorry. (1:30)

It's okay. Just... (1:31)

I know. Too soon. ~~~~~~ (1:59pm)

Why is my life so fucked up? (2:01)

Hello, drama queen. (2:02)

Seriously, though, why? (2:02)

It's not. (2:03) - 361 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Then why does it feel like it is? (2:05)

You're a drama queen. It's in your nature. (2:05)

Well, so are you. (2:06)

I know. That's why I get to call you out on this. (2:07)

You're on the right track, Kurt. (2:10)

I don't know. (2:11)

You are. Stop moping around. (2:12)

Urgh, why are you being so... so... (2:12)

Helpful? Caring? Irreplaceable? (2:13) - 362 -

Contents ↑ You win. I don't have it in me today. (2:14)

Kurt... (2:17)

It's fine. I'm fine. ~~~~~~ (7:15pm)

Incoming Call “Hey you.” “Hey yourself.”

“You're getting so good at this. I'm proud of you.” “At what? Talking?”

“Calling me. No warning, no nothing - just an ordinary phone call among friends.” “Well, will you look at us. We're ordinary.” “You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do. So, how was your day, darling?”

“...I said 'among friends', not 'an old married couple.'” “I knew that would be a step too far. But honestly, how was it?” - 363 -

Contents ↑ “It was... A day.” “Uh oh, that doesn't sound so good. Wanna talk about it?” "...”

“You don't have to.”

“It's... Rachel said I was being a drama queen, which is probably true. I told myself to stop whining and concentrate on what's ahead of me, not what's in the past.” “...Did you buy a self-help book?” “Excuse me?!”

“Sorry, sorry. I'm listening.”

“No, you're cracking up, that's what you're doing. Good to know that my woes are a source of entertainment for you.” “They're not... Kurt, you know that's not true. I didn't mea-... “-Wait. Now you're laughing.”

“It's so easy to mess with you, Blaine.” “I'm rethinking my song choice for tonight.”

“Ohhh, no, please don't! I've been looking forward to this all day.” “Really?”

“Yes, silly.” - 364 -

Contents ↑ “'Silly' is my cue.” “Now I'm scared.” “Don't be.”

“I'm waitiiing.” “Yes, yes, my call was so casual, I'm not even prepared. I need to switch rooms first. Don't go.” “...I'm right here.”

“Good. ...Ouch... shit.”

“...What are you doing?” “Walking through my apartment with the natural grace of a gazelle. What do you think?” “...Just how big is your apartment?”

“Uhm... I don't know. Big enough. Why?” “Because you're still walking.”

“Not anymore. We've reached our destination; I hope you had a smooth ride. Going to put you on speakerphone now, okay?” “Okay, Captain.” “Ready?”

“You don't have to yell, Blaine.” “I think you're ready.” - 365 -

Click for

Contents ↑

direct link “...”

“Too much?” “...”

“Kurt?” “Yes.”

“It was too much, wasn't it?”

“No, it wasn't. That was just my sign of life. Blaine...” “Yes?”

“...Shit” “What was that?”

“Nothing, I just... Nothing.” “Oookay. Then let me make a request.” “...Okay.”

“You've got Friday afternoons off, right?” “...Yes?”

“Don't be scared. This is what it feels like when you get sent on missions, you know?” “...Missions?”

- 366 -

Contents ↑ “Yup. Friday, 3pm, Madison Square Park, near the Chester Alan Arthur Monument. Do you know where that is?”

“...I could look it up.” “So, you'll be there?” “Blaine...”

“Come on; I always did what you told me to do and did I regret it? No.” “I...”

“You don't like this uncertainty, do you?” “...I guess.”

“Do you trust me?” “...Yes. Yes, I do.

“...Fine, I'll go on your little mission.” “Yay!”

“It'd better be worth it.” “What do you think of me?” “Only the best.” “Good.”

“Most of the time.” “Hey!”

- 367 -

Contents ↑ “I accepted the mission; what more do you want?” “I want you to enjoy the mission.” “I'll tell you on Friday.” “Deal.”

“Same time tomorrow?” “Same time tomorrow.” “Sleep well.” “You too.”

~~~~~~ (8:23pm)

The eagle has landed. (8:26)

...Are you fucking kidding me? (8:27)

What? (8:28)

You two with your *operation* – I thought spy talk was appropriate. I wanted in on the fun. (8:29)

- 368 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; That's not spy talk, Anderson. (8:30) Snob.


He said yes. (8:31)

Better? (8:33)

Much better. (8:34) Wes?

(8:35) Yes?


I guess I should thank you. (8:36)

Thank me afterwards. ******

- 369 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Thurs 5 Mar (4:23pm) You're really quiet today. (4:29)

I feel like I'm juggling a million different things today. (4:34)

You're quiet, too. (4:35)

I feel like I'm juggling a billion different things today. (4:36)

Of course. (4:36)

Can't let you win. ~~~~~~ (5:12pm)

You're so quiet, Blainey. Everything okay? (5:14)

...Am I really such a chatty person? What is it with everyone today? (5:14)

- 370 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Just checking. (5:15)

I think I'm preparing for battle. (5:15)

Shut up. That's what it feels like. (5:16)

I didn't say anything. (5:17)

It must be bad - I got away with the 'Blainey.' (5:17)

That's what I want you to believe. (5:18)

And then, one day... (5:18)

You're going to cuddle me to death? (5:19)

Something like that. But without the cuddling. ~~~~~~

- 371 -

Contents ↑ (6:03pm)

You're not too busy for piano night, are you? (6:10)

That's what you're calling it? (6:11)

No, but that's what I use in public. (6:14)

I'm never too busy for that. (6:14) Good.



Incoming Call “You're really late today.” “I'm sorry, I hope I'm not... I hope this isn't a bad time.” “No, it's okay. I was just getting worried.” “Aw. Sorry, I was... I had to... do stuff.” “Stuff, hm?”

- 372 -

Contents ↑ “Yes, stuff.”

“You can be so mysterious, Blaine Anderson.” “...”

“What?” “Nothing, just...”

“...Maybe you should start playing.” “Ohhh, so you're just in this for the songs now, are you? One quick call and then you ditch me.” “No, I'm just thinking of your neighbors.” “That's not a problem.”

“They're okay with late night concerts?” “Well, a) it's not that late, and b) believe it or not, this room is sound-proof.” “You're kidding.”

“No, really, it is. They got that done when they bought this place for me.” “'They'?”

“My parents.”

“Yes, I got that, but...” “Hm?”

“Probably not a good topic for tonight... Okay, I'm ready.” - 373 -

Contents ↑ “And we're back to this being a quick fix for you.” “Blaiiiiine. What do I have to do?”

“Nothing, that whiny tone in your voice was gratifying enough.” “You're welcome.” “Three... Two..-” “Really?”

“Shhhhhhh; do you want this or not?” “Yes, please.”

“Three... Two... One...”

Click for

direct link


“I can't handle you right now. Jesus Christ, that was...” “Silly?”

“Perfect.” “Thank you.”

“No, thank you.” “Are we playing that game again?” - 374 -

Contents ↑ “...Blaine?” “Mhm?” “I...”


“...I'm tired.” “Oh, okay. I'm sorry that it took me so long to call.” “No, that's... It's fine.”

“Well, then... Don't forget about the mission, okay?” “I won't.”

“Good. Sleep well.”

“You too. And - thank you.” “Sure.”




Filed under: Things you need to text me before you send them to Blaine instead and make a fool out of yourself? (10:37)

- 375 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Good girl. (10:38)

Why is this moving so *slow*? (10:38)

You're asking me that? Me?! (10:39)

I'll be home soon. (10:40)

It's okay, I'll just go to bed. No whining anymore, right? (10:41) Right.



He's *this* close to losing it. Blaine's been doing excellent work. (10:59)

You make it sound like Kurt's his prey and you're enjoying the hunt. (11:00)

It's not like he knows what he's doing to him. He's a puppy. - 376 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:01) True.


Fri 6 Mar (7:28am) Wake up, sunshine! It's a beautiful day. (7:29)

Fuck. What... (7:30)

It's 7:30, Blaine. (7:31)

Yes! It's time to get up and greet the day. (7:31)

How much coffee have you had this morning? (7:32)

Not a single one. (7:33)

Blaine. (7:33) - 377 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ...Okay, two. (7:34)

But my morning walks with Bradshaw really do the trick. You should reconsider the cat-walking thing. (7:35)

My cat is snuggled up on my chest and deeply asleep. (7:35)

I guess you're a match made in heaven. (7:36)

Okay, I'll leave you to it, then. (7:39)

Don't forget about 3pm. (7:40)

I won't. ~~~~~~ (2:13pm)

Are you nervous? (2:15) No.

- 378 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:15) Huh.


Should I be nervous?! (2:16) No?


Wesley!!! (2:17) No.

(2:18) Great.


What? (2:19)

Now I'm nervous. (2:19) Oops.

- 379 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:21)

'Oops'? Seriously, Wes? You're supposed to say 'No, Blaine, it's going to be fine. You're awesome.

Everything is awesome. Oh god, what if it's going to be anything but awesome? It's going to be a train wreck, isn't it? Shit fuck fuck shit fuck. (2:22)

...Is it still me saying that? (2:22)

No, you stopped at the second 'awesome.' (2:23)

You're missing a quotation mark there, buddy. (2:24)

It ran away with my confidence. (2:24)

You're supposed to be helping. (2:25)

You don't need my help anymore, Blaine. It's *fine*. (2:26)

Promise? (2:26)

- 380 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Promise. (2:27)

Look, it's sunny. That's perfect. Take it as a sign. ~~~~~~ (2:13pm)

You should come with me. (2:13) No.


Why not? (2:14)

He didn't say that was an option. It's your mission. Stop being a wuss, that's not who you are. (2:17) Fine.

~~~~~~ (2:58pm)

The cat is in the box. (2:59) - 381 -

Contents ↑ ...The what? (2:59)

The *cat* is in the *box*. (3:00)

Rachel, how does sending that again help? (3:00) GO!

(3:01) OKAY

~~~~~~ (3:01pm)

Outgoing Call “Shouldn't you be on your mission?” “I am. I just don't know what it's supposed to be. There're so many people here and ice cream and picnics, Rachel. Picnics. They're acting like it's the middle of July and... Why didn't he give me better directions? It feels like a zoo. I swear, if I have to see one more...” “One more what?” “...Piano.” “What?” - 382 -

Contents ↑ “Fuck.” “What?!” “Oh no... Ohhhh no no no no no. He wouldn't... No.” “Kurt?” “...Oh god.”

Click for

direct link “Honey?”

“Can't... Can't...” “Okay.” “That's not... That's not his theme...” “Shhhh; just listen.” “...” “Breathe.” “I... Rachel, I...” “...Are you cryi-” “I have to go.” “Kur-” - 383 -

Contents ↑ ~~~~~~ (3:12pm)

Incoming Call “Yes?” “Kurt. It's me.” “...Blaine, I...”

“Are you still here?”

“...You should've told me.” “And ruin the surprise? Risking that you'd say no? Sure. ...Where are you?” “I left.”

“Bullshit. Where are you?” “Blaine, no...”

“Kurt, I've got no idea what you look like. You need to work with me here, come on.” “Blaine.”

“No. No, it's enough. ...It's enough. Did you... You heard what I played, right?” “Yes, but I didn't know-”

“That doesn't matter. It doesn't have any lyrics. It doesn't need lyrics.” “I don't underst-”

- 384 -

Contents ↑ “It's about you. It's about you and everything that happened in the past five months.” “Blaine...”

“I wouldn't have done this if I didn't know it's what you want. I know you do, Kurt. You're sick of and I'm sick of it, too. It's been five months. Five. I know we're ready. If we're not ready now, we'll never be.

“You said you were scared. I'm scared, too... But I'm more scared about not meeting you than actually meeting you. Five months and I don't want to think about what would've happened if I hadn't sent you that text by accident.

“Remember how we talked about obligations, right in the beginning? I don't expect anything from you. I

just... I want to see you. I want to talk to you. In person. I want... I want to touch your hand and feel that you're real. I need you to be real.”

“...Was that the speech you always wanted to give me?” “Please. Please, just tell me where you are, before I turn into a Katherine Heigl movie.” “Okay, deep breath...” “What was that?”

“An emergency pep talk...” “...What?”

“Turn around.” “I...”

“Turn around, before I change my mind.” “...”

- 385 -

Contents ↑ “Hi.” ~~~~~~ (3:33pm)

I need an update. (3:34)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (3:34)

TELL ME! (3:35)

We need to go out and celebrate, you and me. Right now. (3:35)

Are you still there? (3:36) Yes.


Give me 15 minutes.

- 386 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018;

Chapter Twenty Fri 6 Mar (6:01pm) Maybe we should check on them. (6:02)

Should we check on them already? (6:02)

I think you should check on *me* again. (6:03)

Did you really just send me that? (6:03)

I don't know. I might be dreaming. Or you might be dreaming. (6:04)

*We* might be dreaming. (6:05)

Oh god. I thought Blaine was the dorky one. (6:05)

It's what happens when you spend too much time with him. (6:05)

- 387 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; And with you. (6:07)

That was a compliment. (6:08)

We'll work on your compliments. ~~~

(6:11pm) Kurt.


Hey Kurt. (6:15) Yes?


Will you be coming home tonight? (6:16)

Shut up. (6:16)

Is that a no? - 388 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (6:17)

That's a 'you're being ridiculous.' (6:17)

How's it going? (6:19)

Hi Rachel, this is Blaine. He refuses to text you back but Iksfjdgbhsdfn (6:19) I see. ~~~


Maybe I should get a hotel room for the night, just to mess with her. (7:24)

That's how rumors start, Kurt. (7:24)

True. It would be fun, though. (7:25)

She deserves it, too. She tricked me. (7:26) - 389 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; I was in on that! We didn't trick you. (7:26)

That's debatable. (7:28)

...Do you regret it? (7:28)

No, of course not. (7:29) Kurt?

(7:29) Yes?


It was a really nice afternoon. (7:30)

It was. (7:33)

Good luck with that stain. (7:34) - 390 -

Contents ↑ You promised not to bring that up again. You *swore*. (7:35)

What can I say? I told you before, birds aren't your friends, Blaine. No matter how many Disney movies you watch. (7:35) Still.



Outgoing call “Tell me everything!” “Hi, Wes.”

“Yeah yeah yeah. Spill! Was it really romantic? Was it everything you ever dreamed of? Was it awkw-” “Do you age backwards?” “Blaine.”

“Okay. I just...” “Yes?” “I...”


“I don't know what to say.”

- 391 -

Contents ↑ “...You called me!”

“I know and I... but then... and-” “Are you having a stroke?” “I'm having a Kurtdown.” “A... what?”

“It's like a breakdown, but with... Kurt. I don't know; it made much more sense in my head.” “Is that something good?”

“Yes and no? I... Can you meet me at my door in ten? I need to walk Bradshaw and... You know. Talk.” “Sure, but if you hang up on me right now, I swear-” “Wes.” “Yes?”

“Wes, I...” “Yeees?”

“I know it's stupid and I'm doing that thing again where I rush into things and feel too much, but I... I think I... I think I could fall for this guy, Wes.” “...”

“What?” “...”

“...Stop it! What?!”

- 392 -

Contents ↑ “...”

“I'm hanging up on you right now!”

“You're... You're so precious... Oh god, I can't breathe.” “...”



“You think you could fall for this guy?” “I don't unders-”

“You're so precious, so precious; it's a miracle they didn't cast you in Lord of the Rings.” “Shut up.”

“I'll shut up if you stop being blind.”

“God, could you be any more supportive?”

“Supportive is all I am. I support you and Kurt getting it on and-” “Are you high?”

“No, but you are. ...Okay, I might be tipsy.” “You're... Why?” “...”

“Wesley?” - 393 -

Contents ↑ “There's no need to sound so condescending.” “I was going for amused curiosity.” “You were being judgemental.”

“And you're trying to distract me.” “Fine. I celebrated.” “About what?”

“About your epic display of love and the blossoming romance that is you and Kurt.” “You're drunk, not tipsy. And...Wait. Alone?” “What?”

“Did you celebrate alone?” “...No.”

“Oh, Wesley. We've got so much to talk about.”

“Shut up and get your bony ass over here. I'm already waiting by your door.” “That is nothing but a lie.”

“No, I really am at your do-”

“I was talking about my ass.” ~~~

(7:49pm) - 394 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Babyyyyyy. (7:52)

I know you're not with Blaine anymore. Come home and talk to me. (7:53)

You're so scary sometimes, Rachel. (7:53)

Come on come on come on. (7:54)

What if I don't want to? (7:55)

What if I come find you and hug it out of you? (7:55)

...Ten minutes. ~~~

Sat 7 March (9:23am) Hi. (9:28) Hi.

- 395 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (9:29)

What are you doing? (9:29)

What are *you* doing? (9:30)

I'm still in bed. (9:30)

What are you wearing? (9:32)

...Blaine? (9:33)

I was... That was a joke. I'm joking!!! Because... Texting. And... Worst joke ever, Blaine. (9:34) Hi.


Excuse me? (9:35)

(Shhhh, this never happened.) - 396 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (9:36)

(Oh, okay.) (9:36) Hi. ;)



Would it be weird if I asked him out? (9:38)

Good morning, my over-analyzing friend. (9:38)

It would be weird if you *didn't* ask him out. (9:39)

Yeah, but... Meeting him didn't change anything, did it? We're friends. (9:40)

Blaine. What did you say to me yesterday? About him? (9:40)

...That he was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen? (9:41)

- 397 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; And what did I say? (9:42)

'If you two don't get together by the end of the semester, I'm going to punch myself in the face.' (9:42)

And then you said you'd punch me, too. (9:43)

...You're really violent, Wes. (9:43)

And then what did we agree on? (9:44)

To get pizza? (9:44)

We agreed on making it happen. (9:45) Oh.


In what world didn't meeting him change anything? (9:47)

- 398 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; I'm sleep deprived. (9:47)

Because you thought about him all night? (9:48) Yes.


Well then. ~~~


Starting over means silence? (9:58)

Sorry, I was distracted. (9:58)

Distracted? (9:59)

But now you've got my full attention. (10:03)

And now I have to run. Later? - 399 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (10:04)

Oh. Sure. ~~~


Do you tell Wes everything we talk about? (2:34)

No, of course not. (2:35) Why?


Just checking. (2:38)

Is there anything you want to tell me? (2:42)

I want to see him again. (2:44)

Rachel? (2:45) - 400 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Sorry, sometimes a person just has to dance. (2:46)

So ask him out. (2:46)

Like... on a date?! (2:47)

Yes, sure! (2:48)

I don't know. (2:48)

You don't know what? (2:50)

What if he doesn't want to? What if regrets meeting me? What if I'm not his type and he wants to go back to just texting? (2:51)

What if he made your brain all mushy just by looking at you with his dreamy eyes? (2:51)

Omg, Rachel!! (2:52)

- 401 -

Contents ↑ :) ******

Tues 10 Mar (10:23pm) Outgoing call “Remind me why I do anything ever.” “I... What's going on?” “Hell. I'm in hell.”

“That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?”

“You think?! Wes. Wes, why would anyone want to be with Frodo if they could have Legolas?” “...Are you drunk?”

“Maybe? I found an old bottle of wine my father got me. I wasn't supposed to drink it until my graduation and... But that's not the point. The point is that I... What's the point?” “Where are you?” “Home.”

“Good, fewer opportunities for you to get lost. Now tell me what's going on.” “I wanted to surprise Kurt.” “Right. You told me.”

“Surprises are bad, Wesley, so bad. As bad as...” “Shh, hey, come on. What happened?”

- 402 -

Contents ↑ “He was there.” “Kurt?”

“No. I mean... Yes. But he was there.” “Legolas?” “Yes.”

“Who's Legolas?” “Ethan.” “Oh...”


“How did you know it was him?”

“I heard them talk. I was... I didn't want to, but I couldn't move and then they both saw me and just stared at me and I ran.” “Blaine.”

“Well, I didn't run. I hobbited off in the general direction of the next 'This is your life, Blaine Anderson; look how much you suck' exhibition sign.”

“Is that exhibition still running? I thought they'd taken those down by now.” “No, it's back by popular demand.” “All joking aside-” “Who's joking?”

- 403 -

Contents ↑ “All joking aside, that's nothing you should be riled up about.” “I know! I'm pathetic...”

“I can't hear you when you hide your face in a pillow.” “This pillow is a dog.”

“Same thing. Did you talk to Kurt after this?”

“No. My life is such a cliché. I'm going to have a show on Bravo someday.” “I'd watch that.” “Not funny.”

“Blaine, come on. Just talk to him; I bet it was nothing. You know they go to the same school and see each other sometimes.”

“Every day. We saw each other once and he hasn't asked to see me again.” “Neither have you.” “It's his turn.”

“Oh my god, how old are you?!” “I'm-”

“Uh-uh, don't even answer that. Take a shower, go to bed and call him tomorrow, okay?” “What if I-”

“Nuh-uh. Tomorrow.” “Bossy.”

- 404 -

Contents ↑ “You called me for advice. This is my advice.” “I called you to whine.” “Go to bed, Blaine.”

“Okay. ...You're gonna rule the world one day, Wesley.” “...Bed. Now.” “Aye.”

“Goodnight.” “'Night.” ~~~


What does he look like? (11:04) Gross.


Like a fashion model. I bet Kurt dresses him in his dreams. (11:06)

At least he doesn't *undress* him? (11:06)

- 405 -

Contents ↑ Who's ready for bed now?! (11:07)

Sorry. Too soon? (11:10)

Yeah, okay, too soon. ******

Wed 11 Mar (1:23pm) Voicemail “Blaine... How many times do I have to call before you pick up? “Whatever you saw, it's not... I don't want to say "It's not what you think," because that's a line people who cheat use and... Look, I don't have to explain myself to you, right? And there's nothing to explain. Just call me, please.” ~~~


Incoming call “Oh thank god - I thought you were really mad at me and that you'd never contact me again after that message I left you. I was just worried; I didn't mean to sound rude. But I got scared that you... That you wouldn't-” “Hi, Kurt.” “...Hi.”

- 406 -

Contents ↑ “Sometimes I just need time to clear my head.” “Okay. ...Is it- Is it clear now?”

“I slept on it and I'm sorry that I overreacted. ...Which you don't even know because I never talked to you about it. I'm so-”

“No, it's okay. After all that's happened... I would've reacted the same way. Ethan just... We see each other a lot and I want to... Maybe 'friends' is the wrong word, but I don't want it to be that awkward anymore. We just talked about his mom and-” “No, please. You were right; you don't have to explain anything to me. I'm not that guy. And we're not... I mean, we're not... God, why do you always turn me into a stammering idiot?” “I have that effect on people.” “...Right.”

“You'll learn to live with it. “...I mean, that's not... Uhm...” “...”

“Oh, stop laughing. I was just distracted.” “Distracted, sure. By me?” “By... stuff.”

“Mhm. Try to be more convincing next time.” “There's going to be a next time?”

“Are you planning to get rid of me?”

- 407 -

Contents ↑ “No. Blaine?” “Yeah?”

“What did you... Why did you come to my school?” “Oh. I... I wanted to... I thought about stopping by... For coffee... I had coffee for you and me. Well, chai tea

for you and coffee for me. Rachel told me about your schedule and I thought it would've been nice. To... To see you.” “...”

“...Probably a bit too much. I'm not a stalker, I swear, and I won't do-” “Blaine?” “Yeah?”

“I would've loved that.” “...Really?”

“Yes. I was sad that you left so quickly.” “You were?”

“...Oh my god. Were you dropped on your head as a child?” “Excuse me?!”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” “What??”

“Fine. Blaine Anderson, would you like to have coffee with me this week?” - 408 -

Contents ↑ “...”

“Blaine?” “Uh, yeah.”

“Is that a yes?” “What? Oh, yeah. I mean, yes. Yes, I'd love to.” “Great. Friday afternoon?”

“I've got class till 3, but I'm free for the rest of the day. ...Kurt?” “Yes?”

“Anything but Think Coffee, okay?”

“Um.. Sure, I would've suggested something else anyway. But should I be offended on Rachel's behalf? Their coffee isn't bad, ri-” “Oh no, that's not it. I'm just a little traumatized. Somebody stood me up there once.” “...”

“I'm joking! I'm totally joking.” “Oh my god.”

“But yes, it would be nice to go somewhere else.” “Of course. I'll text you the details.” “Good.”

“Excellent.” - 409 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ~~~


I've got a date I've got a date I've got a date!!! (4:35) !!!


With who? (4:37)

RACHEL (4:37) :)


Well done, sweetie. (4:42) Wait.

(4:42) Yes?

(4:43) - 410 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; I never said it was a date. (4:44)

Oh god, what if he misunderstood me? (4:44)

I'm sure he knows that you want to bang him. (4:45)

Rachel!!! (4:45)

And I'm sure he wants to bang you. You're quite bangable if I may say so. (4:46)

You may not!!! (4:47)

I think it's time for someone to step away from the coffee fumes. (4:48)

I'm off duty. (4:49)

So you're drunk. (4:49) - 411 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Most certainly not. (4:50)

Are you... Where are you? (4:55)

Did you know that Blaine works out? (4:56)

*Where* are you? (4:56)

He looks really good with his shirt off. (4:57)



I'm not rehearsing with you ever again. Ever. Washing my hand of all rehearsing duties as of now, do you hear me?! (5:05)

Whoa, hey, calm down. (5:06)

- 412 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; I'm at Wes's. (5:07)

WHAT? (5:07)

Shut up!!! (5:10) Okay.


No, don't! Spill. (5:13)

We're watching old Warbler videos. There's a lot of interesting backstage material. (5:13)

Are you...? (5:15)

Maybe? (5:16)

How did *we* land ourselves two prep school boys?! (5:16) - 413 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Excuse me - as far as I know, you haven't landed him yet. (5:17)

Nice, just lovely. I'm in agony here. (5:20)

No, you're not. You can't wait to see him again. (5:21)

...True. (5:24)

Our food just arrived. Are you going to be okay? (5:24)

Don't do anything I wouldn't do. (5:25)

Noted. (5:25)

Love you! (5:25)

Love you, too. ~~~ - 414 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (6:23pm)

I think he could be good for you. (6:25)

I think so, too. ~~~

(4:33pm) Date!!! (4:34)

It's March 11. (4:35)

At least I think it is. It's all a bit blurry. (4:35)

No, man. (4:36)

I've got a date!!! :) (4:36)

Does that mean what I think it means? (4:37)

- 415 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; What does it mean? (4:37)

That I don't have to kick your ass. (4:38)

Anger issues are a serious matter, Wes. (4:42) :)


Did you ask him? (4:43)

No, he asked me. (4:44)

Of course. (4:44) Hey!

(4:45) ...

(4:46) - 416 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; What? (4:47)

What if it's just a casual meeting? (4:48)

It's not, trust me. (4:48)

Why would you... Wait. What do you know? (4:50)

Nothing. (4:50)

What??? (4:53)

Just go on your date and let it happen, Blaine. (4:53)

Let what happen? (4:55)

The magic. (4:55)

- 417 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; ...Are you okay? (4:59)

Simply splendid. ~~~


When exactly did our idiot friends become a couple? (5:29)

Excuse me??! (5:31) Oh.


What oh??? (5:32)

I thought you knew. (5:32)

Know what??? (5:33)

Calm down, tiger. - 418 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:35)

Rachel is with Wes as we speak and I think it's been going on for a little while. (5:36)

...Why am I always the last to know? ~~~


Splendid, huh? (5:42) Yup.


You call me as soon as you can, understood? (5:44) Right.


And you say you're my best friend. (5:50)

I love you! (5:51)

- 419 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; Save it for the talk. (5:52)

And Wes? (5:53) Yes?


Well done. (5:56)

Did you say that in an angry voice as well? (5:56)

Shut up. (5:57)

Thought so. ~~~


Does that mean we're matchmakers? (6:17)

Did we *do* anything? - 420 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (6:18)

Okay, Bradshaw is a matchmaker. (6:21)

Are we talking about Wes and Rachel only or...? (6:22)

I don't know. You tell me. (6:23)

No, *you* tell me. (6:23)

Shut up. (6:24)

No, *you* shut up! ******

Thurs 12 Mar (3:45pm) What if I packed my bags, stuffed Bradshaw into a box, and moved to France? I hear they make good pancakes. (3:48)

Crepes. (3:49)

- 421 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; And... uhm... what? (3:50)

Sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking. (*) (3:50)

When I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head. (3:51)

What's going on? (3:52)

...You like The Smiths? (3:54)

My mother loved them. (3:55)

Always good for a surprise. (3:57)

Loved them? (3:59)

She died when I was a kid, but I remember her singing their songs around the house every now and then. I guess most of them are really melancholy, but they make me happy. They're good memories, some of the few I have of her. I loved her voice. - 422 -

Contents ↑ (4:01)

I'm sorry, why am I telling you all that? (4:02)

Wait a second. (4:03)

What? (4:03)

Just a sec. (4:04)

What are you doing? (4:07)

Incoming call “Blaine, what are y-” “Haven't you learned anything by now?” “Wh-”

Click for

direct link


- 423 -

Contents ↑ “...Are you still there?” “...”


“...Y-yes.” “Oh god, no. I didn't mean to make you cry. I was going for... Happy. You said happy and-” “I'm not sad, Blaine.” “...No?”

“No. I'm... I'm really happy.” “Because of the song?”

“Because of the song. ...And because of... You. I'm happy because I've got you.” “...”

“Blaine?” “...Yes?”

“Can I... Can I see you now?” “...Right now?”

“I know it's Friday tomorrow and I thought I could wait, but... I don't want to wait. I can't wait. ...Is that okay?” “Is that... Of course it's okay! Where?” - 424 -

Contents ↑ “There's this coffee shop on 23rd between 7th and 8th. It's really tiny, but they make the best mocha in Chelsea.” “I thought your dirty secret was that you don't drink coffee.”

“...Okay, first of all, dirty? Really, Blaine? And, well, I make an exception for their mocha once in a while. Don't tell Rachel.” “Oh, so that's your dirty secret. You've got another coffee shop on the side.” “Focus, Blaine.” “Yes.”

“When can you be there?” “Hm... forty-five minutes?”

“It doesn't take that long to get to Chelsea from the Upper West Side.” “First of all-”

“Ohhh, 'first of all.'” “Shhh. First of all, you don't know where I live. Secondly, I've got things to do before I leave.” “Things?” “Yes.”

“What kind of animal threw up on you now?” “...My hair is a mess and I'm wearing sweatpants. That's the ugly truth. Happy?” “Are you going to change into your top hat and tails for me? Oh, Blaine.”

- 425 -

Contents ↑ “You're way too cheeky right now. Maybe we should wait until tomorrow.” “It's probably just the adrenaline rush.”

“Adrenaline rush?! You'd think that meeting me is like going bungee jumping for you.” “...Actually, that's... kind of what it feels like.” “Are you nervous?” “Maybe?”

“...We could wait until tom-”

“No. No, I'd really like to see you now. I...” “Okay.”

“Forty-five minutes?” “Yes.”

“Don't get lost.” “I should be telling you that.” “Very funny.” ~~~


I'm leaving my apartment. (4:59) - 426 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; I'm almost there. (4:59)

Oops, ran into a tree. (5:01)

Just one more corner. (5:03)

Aaand I'm there. I'm saving you a seat. (5:04)

Did you just livetext your walk to the coffee shop? (5:05)

Yes. To give you the reassurance that you need. (5:06)

I could send you a picture, too, if you need more proof. (5:06)

It's okay. (5:07)

I'm really here. (5:07) - 427 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; I can see that. (5:07)

You're looking cute today. (5:08)

Stalker. ~~~


Where are you? I thought we were having dinner together. :( (5:58)

Change of plans. (5:59)

Your school assignment? (6:01)

No, something much nicer. (6:01)

Don't be a tease! (6:02)

That's what you get for being so secretive yourself. - 428 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (6:02) Kurt!


Shhh. I'm busy. ~~~


Did you get home all right? (10:05)

I'm not a little boy and I don't live in the shady area of the Upper West Side. (10:06)

There's a shady area in the Upper West Side? (10:06)

Maybe. We don't speak of the place. (10:07)

Oookay. (10:10)

I could get used to this. (10:11)

- 429 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; To what? (10:11) To... us.


Well good, because you're not getting rid of me. (10:14)

Is that a promise? (10:14) Yes.

(10:15) :)


Fri 13 Mar (4:59pm) I haven't heard from him all day. (5:05)

Maybe he's too busy to answer. (5:06)

I haven't texted him. - 430 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (5:06) ...


That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. (5:08)

It's not! (5:10)

Sure is. (5:12)

Are you waiting around by your phone? (5:14)

No, I just... Oh god, yes, I am. (5:14)

Just call him. (5:15)

I don't want to be clingy. (5:18)

Kurt, one of these days, this will have to stop. - 431 -

Contents ↑ (5:20)

I know. ******

Sat 14 Mar (1:01pm) Incoming call “H-”

“You should've kissed him.” “...What?”

“Next time you see him – kiss him.” “And that solves everything?”

“Well, you're both going back and forth again. He's not sure about your feelings; you're not sure about his. And you're both too... I don't know, what are you? Scared? How can you still be scared after all that's happened?”

“We're still getting to know each other. We've only met twice after months of just texting. It's something we have to get used to, okay?”

“Okay, I'll give you that, but do you even talk about it?” “About what?”

“The two of you.” “...Not really.”

“Do you want to be more than his friend?”

- 432 -

Contents ↑ “You know the answ-” “Blaine.” “Yes.”

“And on Thursday when you saw him, did you want to kiss him?” “...More than anything.”

“Then you should talk to him about that.” “That I want to kiss him?!”

“That you'd like to be more than friends. ...Do you want me to write you some notes?” “Shut up. I say the right things in the right moments.” “Sometimes.” “Not funny.”

“A little funny.”

“Are you done?”

“Yes. Still going to the party tonight?” “...Do I have to?”

“You promised.”

“Okay. I guess I'll pick you up at nine.”

“Okay. You know, you could fix your problem in the meantime.” - 433 -

Contents ↑ “Bye, Wes.”

“Hey, don't-” ~~~


No drunk texting tonight? (1:33)

Wes took my phone. (1:34)

Wait. Why are you asking me that? (1:35)

I know that you're at a birthday party with Wes. Or should I say *were*? You seem to have gotten your phone back. (1:36)

You'll always be the stalker in this relationship. (1:36)

Excuse me? (1:38)

I know how this all started. I was there. (1:38)

- 434 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; You texted me first. (1:42)

It wasn't my fault! It was his.


How can you blame such an innocent little puppy? (1:45)

He's as big as a calf and he's drooling onto my sheets. (1:48)

- 435 -

Contents ↑ He's an excellent matchmaker, that's what he is. (1:50)

Again, are you just talking about Wes and Rachel or...? (1:51)

You tell me. (1:52)

Not this game again. (1:52)

What? (1:53)

'You!' - 'No you!' (1:54)

Incoming call “Hey-” “I'm sorry.”

“For what?” “For being so distant over the last two days.” “Oh, so that was deliberate?”

- 436 -

Contents ↑ “Some of it? I was busy, too, but I... I'm not sure how to... After we met on Friday... Shit, I do need Wes's notes...”

“What?” “I can't do this over the phone.” “What are you talking about?”

“Would you like to... Do you... Could we meet tomorrow?” “Tomorrow morning?” “Why-”

“In Central Park? ...I just... I've always wanted to walk through that park with you. And I think it's time for me to meet your dog.” “...Okay.”

“How much sleep do you need?” “I would meet you now if it wasn't-” “Dark outside and a little creepy?” “...I'm not creepy.”

“But parks at night are.” “Would ten be okay?”

“Ten would be just fine.” “Okay.”

- 437 -

Contents ↑ “Okay.” “Goodnight, Kurt.” “Goodnight, B.” ~~~


I think I just made use of Blaine's drunken state. (2:11)

I knew you had it in you. (2:12)

Not what you think. (2:12)

Or wait. What are you thinking? (2:13)

Are you at home alone? (2:13) Yes.


Then it's probably not what I'm thinking. - 438 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:14)

I... No, I'm ignoring that. (2:16)

He agreed to meet me at Central Park tomorrow. (2:18)

SO romantic!!! (2:18) Um...


No, it's lovely. Everything is falling into place. I'm so happy for you, Kurt. (2:19)

I think you swallowed a pink kitten or something and it's talking for you. (2:20)

Come on! This is something to be happy about. (2:20)

A walk through Central Park doesn't mean anything. (2:21)

KURT. Stop being so pessimistic! - 439 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:22)

He said he wants to talk to me in person. That it's something he can't say over the phone. (2:22)

Romantic!!! (2:26)

Rachel. He's going to tell me that I'm not what he's looking for. (2:28)

Rachel? (2:29)

Shhhh, I'm wondering how long it takes me to get home from here. (2:30) Why?


Because I need to smack you in all the right places, THAT'S WHY. (2:32)

What exactly gave you such a stupid idea? (2:35)

No, I'll tell you what. Your stupid fear of rejection and your stupid brain that still doesn't believe that good things *do* happen to you, which is obviously false, and your very stupid habit of - 440 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; thinking about these things after 12am, when we both know that after 12am is when your brain is at its most stupid. (2:37) Wow.


...I'll just go to bed, then. Lick my wounds. (2:39)

Congratulations, you just made a smart choice after 12am. (2:39)

Congratulations, you know how to smack someone via text. (2:40)

I'll make sure not to meet Blaine after 12am. (2:40)

For now. ******

Sun 15 Mar (11:45am) Hey Blainey! I need your best hangover cure asap. (11:50) Kisses.

- 441 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:51) Kisses?


Mmmhmm. All of them. (11:52)

Skdgnfdkjgfdgkjgbkdfj!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (11:52)

What was that? (11:53)

Me punching the air. (11:54)


Are you okay? (11:56) YES!


Did you... Or did he? Was it good? Was it everything you ever wanted? Was it sweet? Or passionate? How many times? With tongue?!

- 442 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (11:58)

Would you stop and listen to yourself? (11:59)

I need my voice of reason back. (11:59)

It's gone.


They're back. (12:01) What?


Kurt and Bradshaw. (12:03)

They were gone? (12:03)

Running contest. (12:04)

Gotta go! - 443 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (12:04) Blaine!

(12:05) Later.


Blaine!!! ~~~


Tell me everything. (1:47)

Everything. (1:47) Kurt!


I mean it. It's â&#x20AC;&#x201C; He's everything. ~~~


So I just saw someone and his dog cross the street and it reminded me of you. - 444 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:00)

You're ridiculous. (2:00)

And you seem to be unable to text and walk at the same time. (2:01)

And you seem to be unable to stop looking at me. (2:01)

That's because I changed my mind. (2:02) ...?


I'd like to have lunch with you. Now. (2:03)

Breakfast *and* lunch? Are you sure? (2:03)

Yes, I know what I want. Stay where you are. (2:04)

Bossy. - 445 -

Contents â&#x2020;&#x2018; (2:04)

I told you you'd better get used to it. :) ~ The End ~

- 446 -

Little Numbers  

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