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Like a wise old internet meme once said, “If somebody hates you for no reason, GIVE that motherfucker a reason.” Here are Beth Brown’s top twenty:


1. She looks good in every color.


2. Her excellent penmanship.


3. She was making zines before you knew what a guillotine cutter was for.


4. She’s not afraid to tell you what she thinks.


5. She’d rather read a book than watch TV.


6. Her tattoos are the coolest.


7. She was anti-social before it was hip.


8. Those lips.


9. Thugs cross the street when they see her coming.


10. She is fully fueled by coffee.


11. She has a standing invitation to join the circus.


12. She can fix a car.


13. She still loves DEVO.


14. That red hair.


15. She smells like sugar and spice—even in July.


16. There’s no goal too high for her.


17. She gets a warm, fuzzy feeling from doing good deeds.


18. She can cook like your Grandma.


19. Have you seen her husband?


20. Haters only motivate her to achieve greater things.



20 Reasons to Hate Beth Brown