Two teenage boys, JOSH and ELI, stand in JOSH’s room trying to record a song, while their friend SHELBY observes. ELI (Takes off the headphones) I’m sorry dude. I’m sucking today. JOSH Yeah, you are. (Laughs) What’s the deal? ELI I just had a shitty night last night. (PAUSE) I don’t know, man, just give me another take. JOSH No no no, tell me what happened. ELI It doesn’t matter. Just let meJOSH No seriously, tell me what happened. ELI (Angry) It doesn’t fucking matter, alright? (Calming himself) Just give me another take. SHELBY Do you want to talk about it? JOSH Look, man, I’m not pressing the button until you tell me what happened. So chill the fuck out and tell me. SHELBY Don t make him talk about it if he doesn’t want to! ELI (Sighs. To Josh, jokingly) You’re a dick sometimes, you know? JOSH (Shrugs) I’ve been told. Now tell me what’s wrong. ELI (Points to Shelby) You don’t tell anyone about this, okay?
SHELBY Okay. ELI Swear? SHELBY (Exasperated) I swear! ELI Okay. So last night, I was hanging out with Lauren. You know, from English? JOSH (Nods, impressed) Nice. SHELBY (Shakes her head disapprovingly) ELI Yeah, I know. So we’re at her house watching Gossip Girl you say one word and I’ll kill you - and she tells me she likes me. Like, romantically likes me. JOSH But of course, you don’t like her? ELI Not at all. SHELBY And I’m hoping you told her that? ELI (PAUSE) Sort of. JOSH Sort of? ELI I just sat there really quiet. JOSH (Facepalms) Oh, you jackass. SHELBY (Laughs) You are such a dick!
ELI I wasn’t trying to be a dick! I just froze up. JOSH Well I can only imagine how she reacted to that. ELI Spoiler alert: she kicked me out, crying. JOSH (Puts a hand on Eli’s shoulder) Hey man, the love game’s a tough one. ELI (Looks at his feet) Yeah. I mean, I didn’t like her... (Lifts his head) But she was really hot. JOSH (Playfully hits Eli in the chest) Who gives a shit? Dude, when we finish this track, we’ll be rolling in bitches. Now get on it! One more time. (Presses ‘record’) ELI (Smiling, puts the headphones back on) SHELBY (Rolls her eyes)