1. Spend time together. Husbands and wives need to prioritize their relationship in such a way that they make time for each other. Schedule a weekly date night and have “couch time” every day. Sit down with your spouse after work and talk about how your days went. The kids will see that you place top priority on your relationship with each other. Kids feel secure when they see a team of a mom and a dad who love each other and are committed to each other. 2. Show a united front to your kids. There are many decisions the two of you will disagree on. Never verbalize disagreements in front of your kids. Even if you are the one who gives in, you still win because, as a team, you are both deciding to go the same direction. 3. Do more than tolerate your spouse. The best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse with all your heart. Your children can sense whether there is wholesome, fervent committed love in the home. You can say that you are staying together for the sake of the kids, but that’s a recipe for disaster. Don’t endure for the sake of the kids; deal with the real issues and go to counseling if you need it. Ask God to draw your hearts toward each other once again.
When a husband loves and pursues his wife, a son learns what wholesome love looks like—and he will notice a glaring difference in what the world calls love. When a daughter observes wholesome, romantic love at home, she’s less likely to fall for a guy who tells her she’s pretty and says he loves her, just so he can use her.
“Your relationship with your spouse has enormous potential to bring stability, confidence and wholeness to your home.” A solid, thriving marriage relationship builds a culture of trust and confidence that instills values into your children. They’re more likely to receive your teaching if they see the benefits in your own marriage. It also builds security in the hearts of young people and helps them make decisions not out of fear, but in response to the examples their parents show of a wholesome, thriving romance that makes them want to have the same. Parents, let’s respond to the call to create a culture in our homes that withstands the world. Train a child in the way he should go. When he is old, he will not turn from it. —Proverbs 22:6 (NIRV)
4. Lead your family in moral authority. When you look at your kids and say, “This is the way I want us to live,” is that same standard reflected in your own life? Do your kids see it lived in your relationship with your spouse? We would all like
So, husbands, lead your family by the way you lead your marriage. And wives, encourage your husband and embrace your role as his helpmate (see Ephesians 5:22-33).
So, how can you secure a healthy marriage relationship? Here are four ways.
to say, “Do as I say, not as I do.” But that’s what Jesus said was wrong about the Pharisees. As the saying goes, “More is caught than taught.”
With so many divorces happening in our culture, it’s not uncommon for children to wonder if divorce is going to attack their home, Are Mommy and Daddy always going to stay together? The wholesomeness of a great romance and friendship makes your kids feel safe and gives them confidence that their home will be stable and secure.
RON LUCE is President and Founder of Teen Mania Ministries, a Christian organization reaching millions of young people worldwide. He passionately declares the Gospel through Acquire the Fire TV broadcasts, youth events, camps and media resources, challenging teens to take a stand for Christ. teenmania.org joycemeyer.org | JUNE/JULY 2 0 1 1 | 23
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