Today’s edition features guest writers, The A-Team, taking a look at a very prevelant issue in today’s society: conflict and the different ways people respond to it. Flip through the articles for insider examples from Disney movies as to the various ways people can deal with conflict.
CONFLICT Feature Articles: -Match.com:
After the Marriage
-Rapunzel’s Recommendation -Cinderella: The Ultimate Accommodator -The Sit Down with Savage Scar
S N E Y
A Word From the Authors: “This issue is so crucial to team work because if you can’t make it through the rain, then you’ll never be able to see the sun.” Created by: Josh Stutesman Miranda Schaub Harrison Coleman Halle Sobczak Rachel Felice
Match.com After the Marriage
TABLE of CONTENTS MATCH.COM: AFTER THE MARRIAGE BEST DRESSED
Meet Belle and the Beast, they have been married for one year and they met on Match.com. Today’s article will look at their relationship and how they have been able to be such a successful match.
5 Tips to Creating a Successful Relationship According to Belle: THE SIT DOWN WITH SAVAGE SCAR
THE AVENGERS OR ‘AVERAGE’RS
CINDERELLA: THE ULTIMATE ACCOMMODATOR
ARE YOU IN A CONFLICT?
TIPS ON DEALING WITH A HOTHEAD
A DAY WITH DR. DOGGIE LOVE
Be able step into your partner’s shoes. “You’ve got to be able to see where your partner is coming from and reflect on what is best for the two of you.”
Do things for them JUST BECAUSE. “There’s nothing more romantic than when he does something special for me without any particular reason. It shows that he cares and is thinking of me.”
Be able to sacrifice. “It is important to be able to be OK with your partner gaining more than you sometimes. It shows humility.”
You must be able to listen to the other person. “There’s a difference between active and passive listening.”
Above all else, be able to compromise. “It’s so important to be able to listen to the other person, understand what they mean, and agree to adjust your mentality to help the both of you.”
When reflecting back on Belle’s relationship with the Beast, she praised their ability to compromise to their success. Because they were able to take both of their needs and combined them into one, they were able to create a “best of both worlds” scenario where both of them were able to win. That is why it is important to listen, view different perspectives and compensating when trying to compromise. 1
The Sit down with Savage Scar
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” As everyone knows the Queen is always on top of her competitive game. When recent rumors were spread that the “Mirror Mirror on the Wall” thought that Snow White was the fairest of them all, the Queen decided that the only way to solve this conflict was through holding a competition.
--Scar, if you could describe yourself in three words, what would they be? “Hmm, I would say sneaky, sly, and evading.” --What do you mean when you say evading?
“Listen, I know that my style is so much better than Snow White’s,” she said. “I am not sure where these preposterous rumors began, but I am putting an end to them right now. We should hold a fashion show for the “Mirror Mirror on the Wall,” instead of listening to the forest animals spread these little rumors!” The forest animals buzzed with excitement all week long in anticipation of the results. After much deliberation the “Mirror Mirror on the Wall,” has shared its exclusive results with us! This week’s best dressed fairest of them all goes to the lovely, the magnificent, Snow White! The Queen declined to comment on the results of the competition. However, the “Mirror Mirror on the Wall,” expressed that a recount was not going to take place.
“By evading I mean avoiding situations. When I become too involved and too much communication is shared, I give too much away about myself. How could I create the kind of conflict I want by cooperating and communicating?” --Help me understand… How, by you avoiding the problem, create more conflict? “That’s simple. I sent the hyenas to stir up the drama while I sat back and avoided any kind of confrontation with Mufasa and Simba. Then, when the conflict finally erupted, I was right there in the middle of it even though I avoided addressing anything with my brother or my nephew.” --Alright, my last question is pretty forward, but do you think that if you would have talked to Mufasa or Simba and tried to collaborate with them, things would have turned out better?
“No, I wanted them to lose. I don’t care that I lost too. I realize that by
The Avengers or ‘Average’rs Editors Thoughts
Poor Cinderella had it rough living with her wicked stepmother and two stepsisters. If anything, she was more of a maid than a family member. Anything her stepmother and stepsisters told her to do, she did it without a question. If they asked her to clean the floors, Cinderella would get down on her hands and knees and do so. If they asked her cook them dinner, she of course did. When asked why she abided so faithfully to them she responded with:
“I would just find it easier to say ‘sure’ or ‘whatever you say’ because I did not want to start a huge conflict with them. To me the fighting was not worth it. So in the end I did whatever they asked me to, no matter what” When Cinderella’s stepmother told her she could not attend the prince’s ball she again listened, despite wanting to go so very badly. But, with some help from her fairy god mother, Cinderella finally gained to courage to do something for herself. She attended the ball in a beautiful sparkling blue gown and kept her head up high. Finally, Cinderella found her voice and would accommodate no more to the needs of her awful stepmother and stepsisters.
he Avengers (also known as Marvel's The Avengers or Avengers Assemble) is a 2012 American superhero film combing Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hulk, and Black
Widow. “We all have our various skills and it feels equal” says Iron Main talking about how all the super hero’s worked together, found common ground and combined their individual efforts to hold off the villains. These well-known super heroes’ combined their superpower efforts and worked together to defeat the villains that are trying to take over the earth.
Are You in a Conflict? Frozen Edition
--“Rapunzel, help me! My mom is trying to completely control my life! She never lets me out of the house past eight and, if I’m lucky, ten on the weekends. How can I possibly deal with this woman?” –The Runaway
1. Are there opposing interests between two or more individuals, such as Kristoff and Hans?
Dear The Runaway, I know what you are going through, trust me. My mom locked me in a tower for most of my life! The trick is to recognize what conflict style she is using. When you realize this, then it will help you handle the conflict! It sounds like your mom is using the dominate style! Try to figure out a way that you can make a reasonable proposition that collaborates both of your interests. Make it a win-win for the both of you!
2. Is there some type of disagreement such as your decision to get married like Elsa and Anna’s?
--“Hey Rapunzel! Every week you talk about how to handle conflict by recognizing other people’s conflict styles. I would love to know exactly what to look for when trying to recognize another’s style of conflict!”– Deperate Debbie. Hello Desperate Debbie! That is a phenominal question. First of all, you really want to look at that person’s ability to communicate their needs and their cooperation and concern for others. You also want to take into consideration anything that could separate them. For example, men and women usually handle conflict very differently. It is important to take into consideration all possible reasons they may handle a conflict.
3. Is there a perceived threat that Arendelle might be frozen over?
--“Please help me Rapunzel. I have recently been told by my girlfriend that I tend to avoid any kind of confrontation. I thought this was a great personality trait, but it drives her crazy when she wants to take about our problems! I have no idea how to recognize what her conflict style is or how I can adapt mine to make her happy!”– ByeBye Boyfriend.
4. Is there a solution that can be found in order to save Arendelle and Anna?
Yikes, don’t say bye bye yet boyfriend! If she confronted you as she did about this problem, she is probably trying to find a way the two of you can compromise and collaborate! Don’t give up, and just try to be open with her about your needs and try to find some middle ground!
5. Do you sense an emotional aspect that could cause you to become upset and freeze over Arendelle like Elsa?
*If you answered yes to all five of the above questions, then you are indeed faced with a conflict because you are POSED. A conflict is a behavior or process between two or more beings that creates a disagreement because of a perceived threat to ones needs, interests or concerns* 7
A Day with Dr. Doggie Love
Tips on Dealing with a Hothead
hen it comes to dealing with hotheads, Hades minions, Pain and Panic, are experts on the subject. We sat down with them one-on-one to learn just exactly how they handle Hades when he loses his temper.
he’s a sheltered cocker spaniel from a nice, uptown home. He’s a mutt living in the streets. She’s sensitive and girly. He’s rough around the edges. Disney’s favorite couple Lady and the Tramp certainly have struggled to stay together over the years. When it comes to handling conflict in their relationship, this dynamic duo definitely has their differences. We sent Lady and the Tramp to a special relationship counselor, Dr. Doggie Love, to see if he could get these two to figure out what is going wrong...........................
So guys, tell us a little bit about how you handle the underworld hothead, Hades?
Okay Tramp, what do you think Lady does wrong when it comes to handling conflict in your relationship?
Pain: I found that the best way to deal with Hades is to take a timeout. When he is angry, there is no getting through to him. So I leave the underworld for a while, give him some space, and come back to talk to him later when he has cooled down. Panic: What I like to do is dig deeper and find out what it is exactly that is making Hades upset. Although this method can be a little risky sometimes because he doesn’t like to show his sensitive side, eventually he calms down and appreciates that I took the time to understand him.
Tramp: “She never lets me know when something I do is bothering her. She just keeps everything in until she explodes. Then I have to pay the consequences for not knowing what is wrong. I’m not a mind reader!” Good point, what do you have to say back to that Lady? Lady: “I keep everything inside of me because that’s how I was raised. I grew up in a sheltered, rich family. They taught me to be a lady and keep my mouth shut, even when I had a problem.” Tramp: Well I was raised on the streets. I learned that I had to be tough and face conflict directly with those who are bothering me.
Great advice! Now, what are some things that you would absolutely never do when Hades is having an episode? Pain: I definitely never yell back at him. When Hades gets his panties in a bunch, he becomes very loud and aggressive. If I respond by yelling back, that just upsets him even more. I actually do the opposite and talk quieter. When I whisper he doesn’t feel threatened and usually calms down pretty quick. Panic: Well, Hades thinks I’m a pretty funny guy and always asks me to tell him jokes. So, when he gets mad I try to use my humor to my advantage. It’s hard for him to stay upset when I’m making him laugh! But of course I have to choose my jokes wisely. Poking fun at him would only make the situation worse. 8
Ah, so it seems like your different backgrounds are what is causing you to have trouble handling conflict with each other. Would you agree? Lady: “You’re totally right Dr. Love. I think it also has to do with me being a girl. I’m really sensitive and sometimes take silly things to heart.” Tramp: “And I’m a boy, which probably explains my tough exterior and inattentiveness.”
Well there you have it guys. The reason you’re having a hard time dealing with conflict is because of your different backgrounds and genders. Next time you’re fighting try to remember that! I wish you both the best of luck and I hope you endure a long, loving relationship.