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CUTTING TIES by Michael Joseph


INT. CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE - AFTERNOON CHARLOTTE and ALEX are sitting across from each other at a table, eating hamburgers. We see a MEDIUM SHOT of Charlotte eating her burger normally. We then see a MEDIUM SHOT of Alex eating with a fork and knife-and then we see his food. Each ingredient is on a separate plate, and he uses his fork to cut a little piece of each one before eating it. There is an awkward silence. CHARLOTTE Hey... You wanna go get some ice cream after this? ALEX (Dismissive ) Sweetie, I'm lactose intolerant. CHARLOTTE Right, sorry... How about a round of Mario Kart? ALEX I hate the music. CHARLOTTE ...We can watch Community... Alex slams his fork and knife down and glares up at Charlotte. ALEX Dammit! ...You know about my history with ensemble comedies. There is another awkward pause as the two eat. ALEX (CONT'D) I should go. He gets up. CHARLOTTE No, please stay! ALEX I'm sorry, tonight just isn't my night. G'night. But-

CHARLOTTE

We hear a DOOR SLAM. Charlotte looks disappointed. She takes out a cartridge of the original Super Mario Kart for SNES.


2.

CHARLOTTE (CONT'D) (To Mario Kart ) Well, it looks like it's just you and me. Title. CUT TO INT. JOSH'S HOUSE - THE NEXT DAY JOSH picks up his phone. Alex is on the other end. As each character speaks, we cut to them. Alex is sitting on the bottom step of what is evidently his house. Hello?

JOSH

ALEX Hey, it's me. I need some help. With what?

JOSH

ALEX I need to break up with Charlotte. Why?

JOSH

ALEX Things just aren't going well between us. I feel like she doesn't care. As he says this, someone offscreen hands him a guitar with a delivery sticker thing and a tag on it reading "From Charlotte". ALEX (CONT'D) (To deliveryman) Thank you. TREVOR (Out of nowhere) Shameful. Trevor?

ALEX

JOSH How are you in this conversation? TREVOR Oh, I'm on your other line, Josh.


3.

JOSH The other line is in my parents' bedroom... TREVOR Yes it is. Now Alex, here's my advice to you. You need to be gradual with it, you know, put some distance between the two of you, and *then* break it off. It'll make it easier on her. JOSH Hey, I have an idea. Would you be willing to help, Trevor? TREVOR Hey, anything for a friend. What do you think, Alex? ALEX Thanks guys, you're the best. I really appreciate it. We see a black screen with text reading "THE NEXT DAY" beforeCUT TO EXT. A STREET. - THE NEXT DAY The three are on a street, evidently finishing up a recap of the plan. TREVOR (Cut off ) --underneath the pot roast! JOSH Exactly. And Alex will get off scot-free! TREVOR I *love* this plan. I am excited to be a part of it! ALEX I cannot thank you guys enough. This girl drives me up a wall. We have a date in the park today, so can we start there? JOSH Sounds great. See you then! Josh and Trevor leave.


Oh The Irony-Original Script