HIPPIE HERALD Organic School goes Inorganic Last Sunday, the directors of Overseas Family School were like, outlining that they were throwing out the conventional ways of teaching by 2015. On the 19th January 2014, our fellow tree huggers painfully awoke as ‘new’ and ‘unnatural’ methods were adopted for our cool school. The intended plans are like bad as our hippie-toligists estimate that the pollution produced from the increase in these unorthodox teaching methods. Since these changes have been announced there have been 2 casualties which were thought to be related to the announcement. “These ‘dudes’ who call themselves ‘directors’ should really be called ‘destroyers’” shouted a true hippie, Bobby Starlight. Down on Orchard Road, a large crowd was like growing in protest of these uncool amendments. “It’s like really not cool, how these puppets of the businessmen are changing the fundamental ways of teaching” exclaimed a fellow hippie Rainbow Dash. With the more blank canvas students schools are acquiring in today’s world, this new ‘internet education’ era is likely to make them want to hurt our one true mother. “With the use of like, electricity, it will produce more bad gases and hurt the animals and plants” said one
enthusiastic tree hugger, Jimmy Book. With all of the hippies in rage because of this sudden change, petitions have already been seen floating around the streets. “Its unfair to us and all of the environment to be attacked without the discussion about the affect it will have on the environment” said a local hippie Megan Apple. Most of the suspicions of the hippie community have been answered. The tree killers are planning an Attack. However, due to this uproar in hippie activity, the ‘directors’ are expected to revoke this decision by the end of the week to ensure like there is no war between the hippie nation and the school.
Rational: In my “normal” voice and opinion, I was attempting the look and feel of a newspaper article which resembles the appearance of a hippie. I tried to do this with the constant use of ‘like’ and ‘because’ as hippies are usually indecisive and have no correlation to the use of ‘proper’ english. Then, I also tried to relate this article to the environment by using the associated quotes which make it seem as if the environment is under attack. However, as it is a news article so I attempted to maintain some level of sophistication and maturity. My last goal I was trying to make was that the hippies sound very agitated and irrelevant with their suspicions. My overall goal for this article was to argue against technology. With the headline of this article I made it so that it seemed important to ‘us’ hippies but to the average joe, it would be not important.