Royal Albert Hall to Become Mosque
E-mail confusion
From the United Slates comes the following story which reinforces the need to get E-mail addresses It was announced today that a consortium of uncorrect: After being nearly snowbound for two named Saudi investors associated with the Bin Laden weeks, during the winter, a Seattle man departed for Group have purchased the Royal Albert Hall and Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the plan to convert it into a mosque. next day. at the conclusion of her business trip to A spokesman for the consortium fielded questions Minneapolis. regarding the purchase and future plans for the faThey were looking forward to some warm, pleasant bled Victorian Era landmark. One reporter asked if weather and enjoying a break from the children. cultural events would still be held in the hall. 'Only if Unfortunately, there was a mix-up at the Departure they meet the requirements of sharia.' said the Gate and the man was informed he would have to spokesman. 'All female performers must cover them- travel on a later flight. He tried to have the decision selves or if they insist upon wearing those enticing, reversed but was told he had no alternative but to lacey things that show bits which make men lose travel on the later flight. their self-control they must do so behind a screen. On arrival, he found Miami Beach was having a heat No vulgar language is to be allowed unless it is diwave and the rected at infiweather was del dog Cruas uncomsader heathens fortably hot, who are beas Seattle's neath conwas cold. tempt. Music The recepand visual tionist gave exhibits of a him a message secular or that his wife religious nawould arrive ture are absolater in the lutely forbidday. He could den.' hardly wait to When another get to the reporter compool. So he mented that hurriedly sent the prohibihis wife an Etions on music mail message, and visual art but because ruled them out completely the spokesman said of his haste made an error in the address. As a re'Exactly.' sult, his message arrived at the home of an elderly On the subject of the Hall being used for religious widow, whose preacher husband had been buried services, a reporter asked 'if one of those crescent the day before. The grieving widow opened her Emoon thing a ma bobs will be installed on top' to mail. took one look at the monitor, let out an anwhich the spokesman responded 'yes, but in an effort guished scream and promptly had a heart attack. to make it more acceptable to the British public it When her family found her, the following message will be a flashing, neon thingy that reflects the mate- was still on the screen: rialistic, idolatrous blasphemy of an apostate, cretinous herd.' Dearest Wife, When a confused reporter asked if he was talking Departed yesterday, as you know. Just now checked about Muslims or non-Muslims, the spokesman took in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. the reporter hostage. Received confirmation of your arrival. Your loving husband. P.S: Things are not as we thought. You will be surprised how hot it is down here.
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