Issue #2, December 2, 2011
THEREFRACTION Cyprus (02) vs. West (01)
The Hit List
Send ‘em to the Poop Deck!
Pirates: Attack of the Tools Surprise. Cyprus High School is full of tools, but the Pirates are a special breed. 13 of their 15 varsity players have profile pictures in the bathroom with the camera phone facing straight at the mirror. But it’s not the fact that they all called each other one night and decided to all do the same thing, it’s the goofy
faces they’re making. Parker Russell takes it to the next level, wearing sunglasses in the bathroom. But it begs the question, where do they get the time? I mean really, Magna is legit. It’s full of excitement and good basketball players. One can only wonder why…
3 10 11 11 14 15 20 22 23 24 32 33 34 40 42
Marcus Quig Collin Loutensock Austin Henroid Tevan Robbins Parker Russell Jaxon Pettersson Parker Boman Matt Hepworth Connor Squire Richard Otero Parker Loutensock Cameron Neal Dominic Hill Brayden Nichols Joshua Jackson A Lack of Talent
The Petri Dish: Dirt on the Pirates #3 Marcus Quig: Favorite band is Nickelback #10 Collin Loutensock: Latest tweet “Looking at these old videos just shows how bad we struggled to score last year! #WeWereHorrible..” #11 Austin Henroid: Imma get thatt paperr,,, then smile for all my haters ayyy :]$$$$ #14 Parker Russell: “When I grow up I'm going to play
video games for money, cyprus basketball” What a winner! #15 Jaxon Pettersson: A fan of awkward “t”s and “s”s. #32 Parker Loutensock: His Twitter name is @P_Mouse11. In his, “I’m in the bathroom being myself” Profile Picture, he’s holding a garden gnome. Fitting, he looks like one too. #34 Dominic Hill: Works at Smith’s. #42 Joshua Jackson: “BFFL is Parker Loutensock!?!? <3”
Fully intended to leave you offended.