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Qualifying Him Checklist Passing is a score of 75% or better 1 2 3

Financial Health

4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Emotional Health/Availability

13 14 15 16 17 18 19 21 22 23 24 25 26 27

Physical Health

Is he employed? (If no, minus 5 points) If not, is he on an aggressive job search? (If no, minus 5 points) Is he employable? Is he free from any mindsets, criminal charges, visible tattoos or apprehension that keeps him from holding down a job long-term in mainstream society? (If no, minus 5 points) Can you be happy on the wage that he earns long-term? If you are hoping that he will get a promotion or get a better job before you can commit your heart to him then select ‘NO’ Is his financial plan based solely on something likely to happen that he is actively doing a lot of work to achieve? If the plan is unlikely or his work toward his goal is infrequent then select 'NO' Is he good with money? Are you good with money AND comfortable with handling the if he can’t or won’t do it? Does he have good credit or is repairing his credit? If he has bad credit and/or is a poor money manager select 'NO' Does he spend a reasonable amount on his car, clothes and jewelry? If he is flashy and has a nice car with no money in the bank, then select 'NO' Has he taken any preparation or training to try and be a better provider? Either recently or in the past? Does he have any ambition to be in a better place financially than he is now at some point in the future? Does he consistently control his temper? If he is easily upset or angered then select ‘NO’ Has he gotten over his ex or past disappointments from a romantic relationship? Is he secure in himself? If he is insecure then select ‘NO’ Is he consistently mature? If he is immature then select ‘NO’ Is he unselfish? If he is consistently selfish then select ‘NO’ Is he comfortable with intimacy? Is he considerate of your feelings? Is he emotionally available? If he is emotionally distant then select ‘NO’ Is he completely single? If he is married, tied by murky ties to girlfriends and ex girlfriends the select ‘NO’ Is he able to jointly make decisions? If he is a control freak select ‘NO’ Does he talk about what bothers him? If act like everything is fine even when it isn’t select ‘NO’? Is he self-controlled? If he has impulse control issues select ‘NO’ Is he at a healthy weight somewhere similar to your own? Does he get daily exercise? By walking, basketball or going to the gym? Is he a non-drinker or quit drinking?

FINDING THE LOVE THAT LEADS TO MARRIAGE© COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL J. CROOKS

Yes

No


28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35

Mental Health

36 37

Character

38 39 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49

50 51 52

Survival Instinct

If he drinks, does he restrict himself to being drunk to less than once per week Is he bearable when he is intoxicated? If he is a violent drunk when intoxicated? (If so select ‘NO’ and minus 25) Is he a non-smoker or quit smoking? Is he drug free and refrains from using any illegal drugs even occasionally? Marijuana, cocaine, mushrooms, meth, abuse of prescription drugs or heroin. Does he follow his doctor’s recommendations if he has a chronic health issue such as diabetes or high blood pressure? Does he regularly go to his doctor for a comprehensive health check-up once a year and follow doctors orders for his health? Is he suffering from trauma such as PTSD Has he completed the anger or grieving process for something like mourning a death, revenge against someone or how he was wronged years ago. If he is still bitter about something then select ‘NO’ Does he take medicine for mental health issues such as bipolar disorder, manic depression, schizophrenia or delusions? If he does take medicine then select ‘NO’ and minus 10 points Does he lie on a daily basis about things small or large, if they matter or not? (If he does select ‘NO’ and minus 10 points) Does he financially AND emotionally take care of any children that he had prior to your relationship? (If so, minus 10 points) Is he open about his intentions or whereabouts? If he often seems secretive or vague about his whereabouts and why he didn’t answer his phone or respond to texts (if so, select ‘NO’ and minus 5 points) Does he consistently keep his promises even if it is difficult? If he regularly breaks his promises to you and others, then select “NO’ Is he usually trusting, open and giving? If the answer is ‘NO’, skip to #43 Is getting over something that happened recently? If not select ‘NO’ Is he sexually disciplined? Does he make an effort to avoid sexual temptation with women? Does he handle disappointment appropriately? Is he trustworthy? Has he earned your trust to not do anything against your best interest? Do the men that he chooses as close friends have good character? If not it gives you insight on who he is or at least what he approves of. Can he figure out how to make ends meet? Does he have a marketable skill or know how to make extra money legitimately outside of his regular employment? Will he take work that is beneath him such as working on a farm, going from house to house cutting grass, at the landfill or working on a garbage truck, passing out fliers or working fast food if his primary mode of employment slows down? Is he a hard worker at what he puts his hands to in order to provide, not just his hobbies? (If not, minus 5 points) Does he do things on-time? If he procrastinates or shies away from things that are difficult the select ‘NO’ Does he regularly do things diligently? If he usually do things halfway do that he does not want to do the select ‘NO’

FINDING THE LOVE THAT LEADS TO MARRIAGE© COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL J. CROOKS


53

Intelligence

54 55

Spiritual Life

56 57 58 59 60 61 62

Personal habits and quirks

63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71

72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81

Future Compatibility

Is he able to speak intelligently on different subjects and has a natural curiosity about the life that he pursues? Can he easily figure out difficult things without much help and plan what he needs to do for himself and maybe others in logical steps. Is he saved? Does he have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? (Minus 5 points if not) Is he a worshipper? Does he stand and clap and sing in church? Does he express how much he loves God outwardly besides a nod and an occasional hand wave? Does he study the Word? Does he know the Word? Does he attend church regularly? Is he a clean person Does he participate in cleaning his environment? Is he a brave person that stands up for you and himself when necessary? Is he easy to motivate to do things to better his life? If he is lazy or helpless when it comes to taking care of himself then select ‘NO’ Does he try to lead by example? Is his attitude always do as I say and not as I do? If so, select ‘NO’ Is he mindful to handle his business? If he is habitually forgetful and regularly needs to be reminded of daily tasks then select ‘NO’ Does he have a balanced desire to be presentable? If he spends way too much time trying to look good for people then select ‘NO’ Is he aware when he is not looking his best? If he frumpy and he usually looks his worst the select ‘NO’ Is he appropriately confident? If he is vain and thinks way too highly of his looks or abilities then select ‘NO’ Does he have a pleasant personality? If he has a needy, annoying or grating personality select ‘NO’ Is he aware of what you need and try to meet your needs? If he is regularly neglectful of you and your needs then select ‘NO’ Are his personal habits reasonable in your opinion? If he seems to have unreasonable requests like he has OCD or other behavior disorder would have for people and objects near him or in his space, if so select ‘NO’ Does his attitude about pets match yours? If not, have you come to a reasonable compromise? If you have not talked about it to come to a specific plan then select 'NO' Is he assertive about what he wants and needs from you? If he is passive/aggressive select ‘NO’ Does he look to improve your life? If he has a hard time accepting responsibility to improve something select ‘NO’ Does his interest for sex match yours? Would your family like him? Would he like your family? Would you like his family? Would his family like you? Does he have a history of making responsible decisions? If he has a track-record for being irresponsible, minus 10 points

FINDING THE LOVE THAT LEADS TO MARRIAGE© COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL J. CROOKS


82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100

Do you two come from a similar socio-economic background? (If not, minus 2 points) Do you share a love of music, movies, literature, travel, fitness, sports, family or food or cooking? Do you two also maintain separate hobbies and activities? Do you two share similar views on the size of a family you see yourself having? Do his views about roles of men and women agree with the bible? Do your views about roles of men and women agree with the bible? Is he a momma’s boy? Is he generally respectful to women? Does he believe in opening doors and waiting on you to eat? Does he talk when he is bothered by something? If he bottles it all up inside select ‘NO’ Does he help you when he sees you struggling physically or financially? Has he always respected you and never been abusive physically? (If he has, minus 25 points) Has he always respected you and never been abusive verbally? (If he has, minus 10 points) Does he notice your efforts to please him in what you do and how you look? Does he share his hopes and dreams with you? Does he welcome your input when you want to talk? Does he make fair choices for the both of you? Did he have his father or other strong male role model to help him grow into a man? Can you see yourself respecting him and sacrificing to keep him happy long-term? (If no, minus 5 points)

*Each yes or no answer is worth one point unless otherwise stated. After the checklist is completed, count the yes answers and the applicable ‘minus’ answers for your total. For example if your total is 90 ‘YES’ answers and 10 ‘NO” answers. That’s your ‘list total’ of 90. To get his ‘adjusted total’ score, factor in if any of the ‘NO’ answers have a minus score, if not then the ‘list total’ is your adjusted total. If any of the ‘NO’ answers do have a minus amount, subtract that negative value listed in the notes for that line from the ‘list total’ and you will have your true, adjusted total.

FINDING THE LOVE THAT LEADS TO MARRIAGE© COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL J. CROOKS


Qualifying Him Checklist  

This is a checklist that helps women identify suitable dating and marriage partners by rating aspects of thier character against some of the...

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