How to set boundaries Need for boundary: Being called by Alex in the middle of the night for crisis support 1. Describe your observations. State I noticed that in the past weeks, you've what you see, hear, or notice, in reached out to me multiple times for specific terms without judgment. support in the middle of the night. 2. Share your feeling using a description of the emotion.
It makes me feel worried about you and also agitated when the phone wakes me up.
3. Remember to add in empathy.
I care about you and I want to be there for you.
4. Next, add in the need you want to address.
I want to talk with you about ways we can ensure you are supported without calling me during sleeping hours.
5. Work together on a solution that Let's work together to think of an benefits all parties. alternative number you would feel comfortable calling during these hours. What about calling the crisis line at 800273-8255? 6. Make a request that is clear, specific and describes the positive action you want them to take.
Now that we have a solution, could you please stop calling me in the middle of the night?
If the boundary for this task is still not honored... 7. Provide a reminder of the original request.
I noticed you are still calling me in the middle of the night. I wanted to remind you of the other number that we both agreed on.
8. Remember to add empathy.
I imagine this is a difficult time for you.
9. Take action on your part to further this boundary.
Just so you know, I put my phone on silent during the night so I will have to return your call when I am available the next day.