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305 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse Publisher: Mike Keith

mike.keith@secondsupper.com

Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief: Adam Bissen

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Managing Editor/Art Director: Joel Kuennen joel.kuennen@secondsupper.com TOPPERS.COM

Copy Editor: Briana Rupel

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Assistant Editor: Katie Hansen

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Student Editor: Ben Clark

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Photo Editor: Kelly Morrison

SUN. - THURS. 10:30AM - 3AM FRI. & SAT. 10:30AM - 3:30AM

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Contributers:

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OPEN 10:30AM - 3AM EVERY DAY A $10 order gets the goods delivered.

LA CROSSE Tim Bavlnka Adam Bissen Scott Brown Nicholas Cabreza

Benjamin Clark Erin Ceiling Brett Emerson Emily Faeth Katie Hansen

James Johnson Joel Kuennen Kelly Morrison Maria Pint Briana Rupel

Noah Singer Matt Wolf WINONA Ingrid Alm Melissa Kibler

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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

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www.secondsupper.com 2


Õ ing to mepage of 6-7 the 'zine, Muse, the press of twists and turns, driven time and again off course once it had plundered the heights of Journalism. She had seen the townlands

Religious Holiday andGuide learned the minds Gift - page 13

of many distant men and

weathered many bitter nights and days, proclaiming Veritas vosService Liberabit" Page 23 Community

Revie ws - Your Guide to Consumption - page 17-20

Happenings, page 22

page6 and 24-25 Pages 7 drawn by Nicholas Cabreza Pages 8 through 12 drawn by Noah Singer, these guys are AMAZING! Cover Design by “Founder,” Joe Gullo. Last week’s fortune teller props were provided by The Violet Flame The Celtic Circle in Downtown La Crosse (sorry about that!)

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January 17, 2008


the top

Kung Fu movies 1. Enter the Dragon 2. The Street Fighter 3. Master of the Flying Guillotine 4. The 36th Chamber of Shaolin 5. Fist of the White Lotus 6. Drunken Master 7. Five Fingers of Death

Milwaukee Bucks 1. Lew Alcindor 2. Oscar Robertson 3. Sidney Moncrief 4. Ray Allen 5. Vin Baker 6. Glenn Robinson 7. Todd Day

Social Networking Miles Davis albums 1. Kind of Blue 2. In a Silent Way 3. Milestones 4. Bitches Brew 5. Porgy and Bess 6. Miles Smiles 7. Sketches of Spain

NAME & AGE: Nick Lanzel, 30

Most expensive paintings 1. No. 5, 1948 by Jackson Pollock 2. Adele Bloch-Bauer I by Gustav Klimt 3. Boy with a Pipe by Pablo Picasso 4. Dora Maar with Cat by Pablo Picasso 5. Portrait du Dr. Gachet by Vincent van Gogh 6. Au Moulin de la Galette by Pierre-Auguste Renoir 7. The Massacre of the Innocents by Paul Rubens

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

BIRTHPLACE: La Crosse, WI CURRENT JOB: Rock and Roll aficionado DREAM JOB: Professional Rock and Roll aficionado COVETED SUPERPOWER: Superhuman hand speed DREAM VACATION: A trip to the International Space Station BEST LOCAL RESTAURANT: Speedy Taco (Get the fajita burrito with extra jalepeños.) FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: JB’s Speakeasy TELL US A JOKE: “Did you hear about the corduroy pillow?” “Yeah, it’s makin’ headlines.”

Mullet Synonyms 1. Missouri Compromise 2. Tennessee Top Hat 3. 10-90 4. Kentucky Waterfall 5. Sho-Lo 6. Camaro Cut 7. Mississippi Mudflap

Yes, Second Supper has decided to hop onto the social networking bandwagon. What sets our new gem apart from the rest, however, is that we ask the important questions. That, and there’s no risk of being hacked. Here’s how it works: Each week, our featured person will lead us to someone new who they’re in someway connected to. So keep reading and enjoy getting to know your fellow townies.

Buying & Selling Books 608-782-3424

3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERTED ISLAND: “Show Me Your Leather: The Unauthorized Biography of William McKinley” “Blood Hook” “Mo’ Money” CITY OR COUNTRY? City #1 PET PEEVE: People driving. It drives me crazy. Pardon the pun.

3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: “How to Avoid Anal Rape” “Making Friends for Dummies” “The Shawshank Redemption” by Stephen King 3 CDs YOU’D TAKE ON A ROAD TRIP: Adam Sandler - “They’re All Gonna Laugh At You” “Nature Sounds vol. 6” any Stephen King audio book IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Steel drums WHAT’S IN YOUR POCKETS? Wallet, red lighter, 12 bucks, phone HOW DO YOU KNOW LAST WEEK’S INTERVIEWEE? In 1998, Paulie answered an ad for a sidekick.

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$1.25 Taps, $1.75 Cans $.25 off mixers

January 17, 2008


Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

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Õ

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January 17, 2008


Amidst the wave of satirical expansion, the valiant few beheld rampant drinking, sex and vice. It occured to them, “There must be a more fulfilling way to rage!�

Turned off by flippant Hedonism, they looked to local media for perspective.

In true Bohemian fashion, the crew bitched about society while ingesting mass amounts of caffeine at ye olde trendy coffee shoppe.

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

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To cope with his bitterness, Bissen ingests a hallucinigen and climbs Granddad’s Bluff, where he is visited by the ghost of Hunter S. Thompson.

Ă•

Bissen cameth down from the mount and revealed the new word to his people.

The yield of their elbow grease was beheld...

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January 17, 2008


...and the paper was READ & ENJOYED far and wide!

Upon the birth of the new & improved Second Supper, the New World Order of Media Elite was dumbfounded.

The Markets of the land plummeted far and wide.

page 10

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

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The once powerful media moguls found themselves penniless and desperate.

Ă•

The scruffy band of media maurauders was now at ease and did celebrate with great din!

Meanwhile, in New York Town, our benevolent Founder was stopped on the street by a familiar mug.

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page 11

January 17, 2008


The once great mogul didn’t recognize our Founder...

And lo! was the banana split of “just desserts” dished.

Now my friends, you know the legend of Second Supper and it’s turn’ed table.

page 12

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

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January 17, 2008


Mornings are rough, make sure you’re prepared...

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Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

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For tickets call: 608-789-4545 Tickets are also available from the Box Office located in the main lobby of the Arena on 2nd Street in Downtown La Crosse

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Still alive... and told me everything would be okay. The woman began to yell at me. The man tried to give me comic books to make me feel better, but the woman said that was for wussies. She gave me some hardcore Japanese hentai. I had never seen anything like it, and was transformed into a world of freedom and nudity. I stripped off all my clothes and began to run around the halls while mentally experiencing swimming in a coral reef. - The End. This one ran very much like a TV show, where I was trying to figure out some internal plot elements, but also may have been in the actual show itself. It mostly revolved around this family, which was a grandfather, his son and his two

By Tim Bavlnka

tim.bavlnka@secondsupper.com I was in some mosh pit for a band called Goatkiller. I think it took place in a large classroom in my high school. My grandpa was there for some reason, and I pulled him into the pit with some fake wrestling move or something. The music stopped and he stood up from the ground and just began some monologue about how disappointed he was in all of us, especially me. Also, this was my dead grandpa. Also, he was a dentist while he was alive. Moments later, I noticed that the majority of my teeth on the left hand side of my mouth began to feel loose. And not only that, but were clearly all broken inside my head. Parts began to fall out and crumble away. I began to collect them in my shirt, like a bunch of nuts or grain. For some reason I had about 10 peoples worth of teeth. Just broken shards. I began wondering around the school looking for a garbage bag, but couldn’t find any. Also, classes were in session, so I was interrupting them. My only concern in life was calling my mother, a dental hygienist, so I could possibly get them fixed. I would probably need to wear dentures for the rest of my life. At some point, I found the janitor, who was a cool young dude, and he told some jokes to try to make me feel better. I begged him for some garbage bags, but he only had these thick plastic sheets. He had run out of garbage bags and just emptied all the bins into one big container. I walked into the closest room and sat down by its bin, and just emptied my shirt into it. I don’t remember when, exactly, but at some point in time, I had been transformed into Stephanie Tanner from Full House. There were two teachers in this classroom, a man and a woman. The man tried to console me

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grandchildren. The grandfather was a war vet (of what war, I don’t know). But also had a secret about him (which i was trying to figure out). All his friends were alive from the war (or some, whatever) and were all living in the same town. One by one they were getting killed, not by zombies, but by some sort of killer (which I watched like a mystery show). Eventually he was the last one alive and went to go stay with his sister or a woman friend of his because he couldn’t handle all the stress. I don’t think anyone else in the dream realized that someone was killing all the people from his squad one by one, although he might have. This leaves us the father and the sons. Their ages were maybe 11 and 8. The youngest one wet himself and got scared and went to find his father. But, it turned out that someone was after the rest of this family as well and injected him with some zombie drug, and the youngest son became a zombie. An alarm goes off and there is a group of zombies coming to town so the dad and the older son get some guns and go outside.The dad can’t bring himself to shoot his child, even though he realizes he is reanimated.The dad sees his youngest, which he thought was still asleep, and freaks out. He goes into shock and tries to hug his son, while the older son is trying to pull him back. The dad pushes back his older son, and the son’s gun goes off shooting his brother in the head. The dad sees this and punches his son back, enraged. A crowd of zombies closes in on the father, and he doesn’t notice. He’s yelling and crying as green hands pull on him. The older son still goes to reach for him and pull him away as the father pushes him back, for the last time, and allows himself to be eaten. Perhaps he realized what he had done and saw it as a just punishment. - The End.

By Maria Pint

maria.pint@secondsupper.com I’m still alive! I have never uttered these words with such disbelief before! For those of you who missed my last column, I’m thoroughly impressed at my continuing life since I’m in India right now, home to many health risks (polio,TB, malaria, no big deal). One would wonder why someone like me (high maintenance) would venture so far from home to visit a developing nation. Let me tell you, I have no idea anymore. At first I thought it would be an adventure and would teach me many life lessons, and I suppose it has, but really it has taught me to stay in America where I belong. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been fun and all, but by the third time you almost die by way of auto-rickshaw, it stops being so magical. They weren’t the only form of transportation that got interesting on this trip though. We took a tour of the entire country, which turns out its pretty damn big, for nine days and in that time, we took seven flights and one 14-hour train ride. Needless to say, we were on the move a lot. Our overnight train ride was when we first got a taste of the true Indian experience. We had spent the day in Agra, home of the Taj Mahal which rocked hardcore by the way, and were traveling to Varanasi to see the Ganges, which turns out is just a big polluted holy river. I was looking forward to the train trip only because I’m a big Harry Potter fan and was hoping that it would be like the Hogwarts Express. Unfortunately, the splendor of platform nine and three quarters was replaced with a dark and frightening place I like to call the shittiest/ scariest place on earth.There were creepy men lying about, a crazy man running up and down the track singing in Hindi (or maybe some other language; I didn’t speak it either way), and then there was a monkey incident. We were standing on the platform in terror, just waiting for our train to come, when along came a clatter from behind us; this was not a jolly man wearing a red suit though. Quite the contrary actually, it was a tiny, filthy monkey that had jumped up on a metal door and I swear it was giving me the evil eye. My sisters, mother and I all recoiled in fear while the guy from the travel agency assigned to make sure we didn’t die, merely chuckled. He ended up backing away though too when the filthy

Õ little beast got his gang of cronies to join him. They jumped down in a flurry of mangy fur and dirty paws to walk along the track as I tried to identify the relative who thought it would be “cool��� to take the train. Had my life been a movie at the time, a train would have appropriately whizzed by to kill the damn things, but no such luck. You know, I never really had a problem with monkeys before that incident, but now when I see one, which has been frequent in India, I immediately start looking around for a blunt object. I think it’s the opposable thumbs that scares me, I feel as if the possibilities are endless. Once the train came, we saw that there would be eight of us in one car that was in no way separated from the rest of the train; I slept on all of my luggage that night. The only thing that made me initially feel a little safer was the fact that there was a family from Ireland in our car that seemed relatively normal. I use the words “initially” and “relatively” because we were talking about the food in India when the Irish father said, “Oh! What I would like to do with one of those cows I see lying around!” Uh-huh buddy. I’m hoping he just wanted to eat it, but at that point, I scurried up into my coffin like bed and put my iPod on for the remainder of the trip, crossing my fingers in the process. I almost forgot, you maybe have no mental picture whatsoever of India to start with, so let me try to give you a general overview. The country is majority Hindu and they worship cows, so you don’t find beef on the menu much and cows freely roam the streets as well (hence the Irishman’s statement). Along with the cows, there are a ton of stray dogs, goats, chickens and just a lot of trash on every single road. There’s a lot of dirt, dust, dirt, more dirt everywhere, and most buildings look like they were built in the Stone Age. It’s also sort of concerning to breathe the smelly air since the smog is constant and thick.And — oh, yeah — there are more freaking people here, everywhere, than I thought would be earthly possible. I guess I can’t even convey to you the filth that accumulates everywhere; it’s almost impressively dirty. Though the country has “some” problems, I’ve grown fond of this messed up land. When I say fond, I mean that I’ll hop on a plane in two days, never to even think about returning to the second most populated country in the world, but look at my pictures frequently. Perhaps I shall smile when I do so, but it’s too early to tell since I still haven’t made it out alive yet. One last time everyone, wish me luck. day in a city in India, home to over six million people, I know to expect people everywhere and most likely a lot of trash lying around too. But hey, there’s always a stray cow walking around to lighten the mood. I’ll be sure to let you know how the rest of the trip goes, but I won’t be able to if I die en route somewhere, sorry.Wish me luck!

January 17, 2008


Hell Raiser 2006 50/50 Merlot/Cabernet Sauvignon Australian

Quaff it or Scoff it wine for under $10

$9.99 at Peaberry’s When one names a product (or any object for that matter) “Hell Raiser,” he is either trying to get attention, or is producing a doomsday device to raise Lucifer & Co. from the fiery depths of hell’s lair (North Korea’s developing that one, I believe). The only practical use of this name in the world of alcohol would seem to be as a strong alcoholic shot, having been most likely recommended to you by a bemustached man named Tiny at a biker bar in West Texas. Australians thought otherwise. Surprisingly, this award-winning wine’s flavor is more attention grabbing than its name. Hell Raiser is a dark red blend of 50% Merlot and 50% Cabernet Sauvignon, and it’s 100% delicious! (Imagine the last line being delivered by a flamboyant red carpet announcer on E! and its much funnier). The wine took the silver medal at the 2006 world wine championships, therefore I would be woefully ignorant to criticize it. This isn’t to say that I won’t criticize this wine because of its awards, rather there really isn’t much to criticize. Simply put, I’ve never had such a strong red wine that retained such sweet characteristics without having its taste overpowered by strong acidic characteristics of similar wines. (Okay, not that simply put) Start to finish, Hell Raiser is a smooth, flavorful wine that produces multiple dark fruity flavors from raspberry to sweet cinnamon, finishing with a tangy cherry. For the connoisseurs, its aroma surprisingly matches its flavor. While remaining pungent, a hint of cream is the only fragrance that doesn’t seem to appear in the taste, however it undoubtedly adds to the entire experience. The taste remains strong enough to grab and keep your attention, which makes it all the more drinkable. It’s rare to find such a strong wine with such sweet flavors and rich taste, while retaining a light finish. Hell Raiser is, pardon the cliche, one helluva a wine. This wine is great. Hands down. Quaff It! . - Geoff Johnson

Tip of the Andes Medium Roast $8.99 /lb

Don de Dieu Unibroue Chambly, Quebec I sampled this ale with a homemade cupcake — freshly pulled from the oven, moist and frosted with vanilla-cream — and the beer upstaged it. By now I expect this from Unibroue, our très merveilleux brewer to the north with a history of releasing some of the best beers on the planet. Of course, when you pay $4.50 for a single 12-ounce bottle, you expect a return on your pocket change, but I’m happy to report that Unibroue again delivers. The Don de Dieu is a Belgian wheat ale which, like many Unibrou products, is refermented in the bottle. In fact, particles of yeast can be seen floating in the cloudy orange ale and the beer fizzes with fresh carbonation. Ostensibly this means that the beer is still “alive” and will change flavors over time, but it also affords unparalleled freshness and Ratings: a complex taste. Like a lot of Belgian wheats, Don de Dieu’s aroma evokes 8 of 10 sour bananas, and while fruit flavors are predominant they’re not overwhelming. The flavor seeps in on light spices and pepper notes, 7 of 10 with the wheat bringing out a crisp finish before the sweetness lingers too long. But make no mistake: This is one rich beer. 4 of 10 The mouthfeel is wonderfully creamy, evoking some kind of fantastic new dessert when the apricot and toffee flavors flush to 8 of 10 the tongue. The taste soon turns from sweet to dry, yet Don de Dieu is paradoxically a “wet” beer that elicits heavy and pleasant saliva7.5 of 10 tion. Other drinkers complained about a sour finish, but a visit to the Unibroue Web site gives some explanation for that. Despite being an Total: immensely smooth and drinkable beer, Don de Dieu packs a wallop of 9 percent alcohol by volume, further proof that Canadians have it all 34.5 of 50 figured out.- Adam Bissen

Coffee donated by Briar Patch The aroma of this South American, medium roast is light (a little too light for my tastes) and extremely woody. Tones of sweet hickory lend flavor to the rich smell. The beans are not very oily, a bit dull and the color of chocolate. Tip of the Andes promises to be a sweet, yet mellow brew. These beans are all grown at over 5,000 feet and are (I’m inferring here) what is known as Strictly Hard Bean (SHB). SHB’s are a denser strain of Arabica and can only be grown at very high altitudes where direct sun and low oxygen allows the beans to ripen slowly. This is a prized attribute since the hardness of the bean allows it to withstand high-heat roasting methods used by the Europeans (which is exactly what was done to these beans). Bam! Granted, I made this pot a little strong but I was not expecting that! Tip of the Andes suddenly became a rich, woody to the point of a little bitter brew. Its flavor is dark and complex but melts away to a more mellow aftertaste which turns slightly sweet as you swallow. Rushes of dark chocolate accompany it on the way down. Overall, this is a fine medium roast which I would almost reassign as a Medium-Dark. Its flavors are dark, complex, silky but stiff. My next cup willdefinitely have a bit of cream and sugar in it to mellow it out, but it’s a damned good cup, even to the last drop. - Joel Kuennen

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

ireless W e e r F et! Intern ig Ten NFL, B rk! Netwo

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I'm Jonesin' for a crossword

Bibliophile

“I Curse You”--but I’m keeping it nice.

Love and Sex with Robots

by Matt Jones Across 1 One voice 5 Math course, for short 9 Way to serve coffee 13 ___ 1 Imports 14 ___ Sophia (Istanbul landmark) 16 Feng ___ 17 “This bug spray’s doing me no good...___!” 19 Helgenberger of “CSI” and “China Beach” 20 Soil type 21 Pink can drink 23 Word before a maiden name 24 “No ___ didn’t!” 26 “The Clintons’ old cat just scratched me again...___!” 30 Govt. watchdog arm 32 “X-Men” villain with leaping ability 33 Pay for others 34 Bausch & Lomb brand 35 Disreputable newspaper 36 ___ gow (gambling game) 37 “I just burned all the meat for the picnic...___!” 43 Possible tic-tactoe line 44 “Can ___ least get ready first?” 45 Skater Kulik 46 In any way 49 Colleges, in German slang 50 Make out 51 “I can’t believe I just got three strikes...___!” 54 Not neg. 55 ___ Tin Tin 56 Nile biter 57 Actor Wyle 59 “In the same place,” in footnotes 61 “I hate that screaming ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ judge...___!” 66 Showed up 67 Suckle 68 When the time comes that 69 Law professor Dershowitz 70 Suffix after party or theater 71 RBI or RISP Down 1 Cop call

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By David Levy

2 Word in many kid rappers’ names 3 David Duchovny’s wife 4 About 5 Movie with the line “There is no spoon” 6 “Gnarly!” 7 “Can ___ now?” 8 Like smart kids 9 End of a belief? 10 Monopoly card 11 “I’ve got it!” 12 Take a breather from eating 15 “Nobody creates ___. It just happens.” -- Jim Henson 18 Grunge band whose final album was 1995’s “Infrared Riding Hood” 22 Rigel, for example 24 Peon 25 Command to a dog

27 Light red or brown, in horse colors 28 Like some doubts 29 Starting point 31 Dome-shaped structure 36 Anesthetizes 38 Music in some “Weird Al” Yankovic medleys 39 “Scott ___ Is 45... and Single” 40 ___ in the room 41 Part of a Caribbean island 42 Fifth Avenue store 46 South ___ 47 Like “Survivor” councils 48 1996 Tool album that went triple platinum 49 Disconnect 52 Publishing ID 53 It may come with a choking hazard warn-

Answers to “Two by Two” Issue #99

ing 58 John of “Good Times” 60 Study 62 Gold, to Guillermo 63 Three letters in ingredient lists that denote “sugar” 64 ___ Building (former name of an NYC skyscraper) 65 Up to this point ©2007 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0341. That is, if you don’t have the patience to wait until next week.

This book is E-rotic! Sounds like a World of Warcraft cream dream. Reads like a frighteningly lucid prediction of the future, delivered with such conviction that it is difficult to deny its possibility. The main thesis presented in this book states that by the middle of this century, sex robots will be as commonplace as vibrators and porn are today. The idea is certainly a setup for some laughs. But Levy does something within his arguments, which, given the topic, is remarkable. He makes them both plausible and accessible. The pace of this book is largely what makes it so successful. It begins with a great introduction on the centuries-long history of robots. (Did you know that “robot” is a Czech word which means “worker”?) The book then splits into two main areas of analysis – love and sex. These ideas are discussed, as they relate humans with the people, animals, and objects around them (or how they might, in the future). Levy cites many different studies on human attachment – especially as humans relate to objects – in drawing his conclusions, and it is from these starting points from which Levy draws his credibility. By first examining the visible emotional connections people already form with their pets, video games, iPods, and so on, Levy’s future of machine-facilitated sex feels not only possible but inevitable. From there we are faced with an array of questions related to the ethics of this new sex. Ownership, consent, fidelity, aberrant behavior and orientation are but a few of the subjects up for reconsideration.These are big questions, not easily answered, yet presented in the clearest manner. The language used here is sociological, not scientific, and tremendously readable. There are moments when Levy’s predictions show a hint of bias in presentation, but his ideas are strong enough to hold their own merits. This is not a fantastic jaunt to the Asimov Brothel, but a stern exploration of the history and potential future of human attachment. Anyone who has ever placed their hopes and emotions in any piece of technology (or, really, anything else) ought to look through this terrifying, thought-provoking book. — Brett Emerson

January 17, 2008


System Requirements Lab

http://www.systemrequirementslab.com/referrer/srtest This one is for all the PC gamers out there. It seems that with every new game that gets released, the system requirements go up and make your box obsolete. With this site, you can keep track of your computer’s stats compared to what various games need to play them. And it is as simple as just a few clicks! A chart will show you how your system fairs in regards to all the components in question.

DVD, Video, Clothing, Novelties, Gifts, Lingerie, Tobacco Shop

SpaceTime

http://www.spacetime.com This is a Firefox plugin that creates 3D web browsing. It is a pretty different change over from what most people are used to, but is great in its implementation and features. It works especially well as a search engine, for Ebay, Google, and other places, because instead of links, it will display a 3D set of web sites for you to browse through on your own.

Third Reich to Fortune 500

http://www.cracked.com/article_15767_third-reich-fortune-500-five-popular-brandsnazis-gave-us.html This is an interesting little article that breaks down the history of some very important and successful corporations and their involvement with the Nazis. Did you know that Hugo Boss designed the S.S. outfits? Well, that is just one of the few things you will learn from reading this.

Downtown Book & Video 72 E Third St. 507-453-9031

Intimate Treasures 310 4th St. Downtown 608-782-3287

Downtown Book & Video 220 SW First Ave 507-252-1997

A gentleman always glances behind him when he walks through a door. He never slams a door in another person’s face. It does not matter whether the other person is a man or woman. If it is a revolving door a gentleman pays more attention than usual. He steps ahead, does not move too fast, pushes the door open, and makes the world a little easier for the person after him. That is, after all, why gentlemen exist.

The following are PUBLIC NUISANCES: The person who pushes ahead of us in line, whether it be at a theatre window, information desk, post office or any place where the rule is “firstcome, first served.” The salesperson who calls us “Dearie” and such pet names. The slight aquaintance who asks for the use of our comb. Gentleman - Bridges, John. How to be a Gentleman. Rutledge Hill Press for Brookes Brothers. 1998 Ladies - Ames, Elinor. Book of Modern Etiquette. P.J. Collier & Sons Corporation. 1940

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

Friday - grilled cheese experience saturday - space gator & Awesome Possum 18


Happenings

Õ

Art galleries BLUFFLAND BLOOM & BREW 119 S. 4th St., La Crosse (608) 782-BREW Monthly Culture Shock show, featuring live art as well as drawings, paintings, photography, and prints by local artists. HEIDER CENTER FOR THE ARTS 405 East Hamlin Street West Salem, WI 608-786-1220 x 4 http://www.wsalem.k12.wi.us/ Heider.html PUMP HOUSE REGIONAL CENTER FOR THE ARTS Open noon-5 p.m. Tuesday through Friday, and noon-4 p.m. Saturday. No admission charge, donations accepted. Features exhibits of local artists and performances. 119 King St., La Crosse 608-785-1434 www.thepumphouse.org. SATORI ARTS Unique hand crafted jewelry, Mississippi River pearls, ancient Chinese artifacts, Custom-made jewelry, original art works, and a variety of unique gifts. 201 Pearl Street, La Crosse 608-785-2779

Sports UW-L

Women’s Basketball: Sat, Jan. 19 UW-Oshkosh @ UW-L 3 p.m.

Men’s Basketball: Sat, Jan. 19 UW-Oshkosh @ UW-L 5 p.m. Wed, Jan. 23 UW-River Falls @ UW-L 7 p.m. VITERBO

Men’s Basketball: Wed, Jan. 23 Iowa Wesleyan College @ Viterbo 7:30 p.m. WWTC

Women’s Basketball: Wed, Jan. 23 MATC (Madison) @ WWTC 6 p.m.

Men’s Basketball: Wed, Jan. 23 MATC (Madison) @ WWTC 8 p.m. WINONA STATE

STORY PEOPLE www.storypeople.com 110 Winnebago St, Decorah, IA 563-382-8060

Women’s Basketball:

UW-L ART GALLERY The gallery displays works by students, faculty, regional and nationally-known artists in all areas of art. The gallery is on the first floor of the Center for the Arts located at the corner of 16th and Pine on the UW-L campus.

Sat, Jan. 19 Bemidji State @ Winona 6 p.m.

VISIONS OF LIGHT Stained Glass 129 4th St S, La Crosse 608-793-1032

Theaters COMMONWEAL THEATRE www.commonwealtheatre.org/ 208 Parkway Avenue North, Lanesboro, MN 55949 800-657-7025 LA CROSSE COMMUNITY THEATRE www.lacrossecommunitytheatre.org 118 5th Ave N La Crosse, WI 608-784-9292

19

Fri, Jan. 18 Minnesota Crookstone @ Winona 6 p.m.

Men’s Basketball: Fri, Jan. 18 Minnesota Crookstone @ Winona 8 p.m. Sat, Jan. 19 Bemidji State @ Winona 8 p.m.

Women’s Gymnastics: Thurs, Jan. 17 UW-Oshkosh @ Winona 7 p.m.

performances What: Ken Ludwig’s Lend Me a Tenor, a hilarious farce that will “leave you teary-eyed with laughter”. Date: Jan.18-20, Dec. 31-Feb. 2 at 7:30 p.m. (Feb. 2 at 1:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.) Where: La Crosse Community Theatre UW–L THEATRE: What: Oklahoma! Date: Feb. 29-March 1 and March 6-8 at 7:30 p.m. and March 2 and 9 at 2:00 p.m. Where: Toland Theatre, Center for the Arts building on campus VITERBO THEATRE: What: My Name is Rachel Corrie Date: Jan. 31 and Feb. 1-2 Where: La Croix Black Box Theatre WINONA THEATRE: What: Dancescapes Date: Feb. 14-16 at 7:30 p.m. (Feb. 16 at 2:00 p.m. also) Where: PAC Main Theatre SAINT MARY’S THEATRE: What: When You Comin’ Back Red Ryder? Date: Feb. 28-March 3 at 7:30 p.m. (March 2 at 3:00 p.m. also) Where: Academy Theatre,Valencia Arts Center

Art Exhibits

Men’s Basketball: Wed, Jan. 23 Loras College @ Luther 8 p.m.

Women’s Basketball: Wed, Jan. 23 Loras College @ Luther 6 p.m.

SERVEWARE; JEWELRY; HAND-WROUGHT IRON, ALUMINUM, AND PEWTER PIECES

ongoing State Street Gallery (La Crosse) 608-782-0101. “RETROSPECTIVE: GLASS AND FIBER” BY BERNADETTE MAHFOOD

through Jan. 27 Winona Arts Center 507-453-9959 “TEMPEST, TRAGEDY, AND TRIUMPH”

through March 23 Minnesota Marine Art Museum (Winona) 507-474-6626 Art depicting naval and yachting victories and losses, storms, shipwrecks and rescue. SENSORY OVERLOAD: LIGHT, MOTION, SOUND, AND THE OPTICAL IN ART SINCE 1945

ongoing, starting Jan. 24 Milwaukee Art Museum 414-224-3200 European and American art, including Stanley Landsman’s Infinity Chamber, which has not been on view for nearly twenty years. Also featured is Erwin Redl’s Matrix, a 25 x 50 foot LED installation.

DOLL EXHIBIT

Jan.19 - Feb. 3 Pump House Regional Center for the Arts (La Crosse) 608-785-1434 24 doll artists will exhibit their creations.Various media and meanings will be displayed. WATERCOLORS BY PHYLLIS MARTINO

Jan. 1 - 31 Heider Center for the Arts (West Salem) 608-786-0700 ABSTRACT PRINTS AND VARIOUS WORKS

ongoing LUTHER COLLEGE

Art Exhibits, cont.

By James (La Crosse) 608-785-2637 Prints by Dr. Seuss; works by Dali, Chagall, Ouida Touchon, the latest by 21st century talent, and more. PAINTING, POTTERY, PHOTOS, JEWELRY

ongoing Edland Art Gallery (La Crosse) 608-785-2787

“WHO IS A CITIZEN? WHAT IS CITIZENSHIP?”

ongoing Frederick R. Weisman Museum (University of Minnesota) The first in a year-long series of exhibitions and programs examining the role of art and artists in a democracy. Featuring 30 paintings, photographs, and prints from various artists.

Upcoming Events MIDWEST FARM SHOW

Jan. 16 - 17 La Crosse Center 9:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Displays of farm and dairy equipment, feed and seed, animal health products, farm buildings and much more! Cholestrol and hearing tests, skin cancer screenings and blood pressure testing open to the public.

Upcoming Events, cont. THRIFTY THURSDAY NIGHT

Jan. 17 Mt. La Crosse 608-788-0044 4:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. All lift tickets are only $12.00 each plus tax. “MUSIC MAN JUNIOR”

Jan. 18 - 19 UW-L Toland Theatre (La Crosse) 507-895-4054 for tickets 6 p.m. Admission: adults - $7 children 2 to 12 - $4 under 2 - free. Put on by the La Crescent Montessori Academy. DINNER ON THE BLUFF

Jan. 19 Eagle Bluff Learning Center (Lanesboro, MN) 507-467-2437 Dinner at 5:30 p.m. Admission: $18 per person, reservations are required. Georgette Frazer will be speaking on socially responsible investing. Artaria String Quartet will perform after the lecture. RISING STARS CONCERTO COMPETITION

Jan. 19 Viterbo Fine Arts Center Main Theater (La Crosse) 608-783-2121 please arrive by 3:15 p.m. Admission: free Pianists and instrumentalists will compete in preliminary competition throughout the day. At 3:30 PM, the final competition will begin. STUDENT NIGHT

Jan. 21 Mt. La Crosse 608-788-0044 All students pay $10.00 each plus tax for lift tickets and receive a $5.00 discount plus tax on rentals. 22nd ANNUAL WINTER REC FEST

Jan. 20 - Jan. 27 La Crosse Center 608-789-7533 Sports tournaments, family and youth events, figure skating exhibition, ice fishing derby, skills contests, disc golf, ploar golf tournament, Euchre and Sheepshead tournaments, Scrabble tournament, medallion hunt, and more!

January 17, 2008


COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area LA CROSSE All Star Lanes 4735 Mormon Coulee

Alpine Inn W5715 Bliss rd.

Sunday

Monday

3 games for $5 starts at 8 p.m.

3 games for $5 starts at 8 p.m.

bucket special

Bud Night 6 - CL: $1.75 bottles $5 pitchers

Alumni

620 Gillette st.

Barrel Inn 2005 West ave.

2 for 1 cans & bottles during Packer games

Beef & Etc.

1203 La Crosse st.

Big Al’s

115 S 3rd st.

Brothers 306 Pearl st.

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Buck Night starts at 7 p.m.

Import night starts at 7 p.m.

Cosmic Bowl & Karaoke starts at 9 p.m.

Cosmic Bowl starts at 9 p.m.

6 - CL $2.50 Sparks

$5.00 all you can eat wings

1/4 barrel giveaway 8-11 $1 burgers

bucket night 6 for $9

$6.00 AUCD

3 p.m. - midnight 25 cent hot wings $1 shots of Dr.

meatball sandwich meal: $6.15 2 dogs meal: $ 5.25

Italian beef meal: $6.15 Chicago chili dog: $3.45

grilled chicken sandwich meal: $5.29 Polish sausage meal: $3.99

hamburger meal: $3.69 cheeseburger meal: $3.89

$1.25 make your own tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2.25 margaritas, $2 off large taco pizza

$2.25 burgers, $2.60 cheeseburgers, $2 off large pizza, $1 fries with any pizza

soup or salad bar FREE with entree or sandwich until 3 p.m. ($3.95 by itself)

Thirsty Tuesday

10 cent wings (9 - CL) $1 High Life bottles $1.50 rail mixers $2 Guinness pints

closed

$2.50 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers

Fiesta Mexicana 5200 Mormon Coulee

Fox Hollow

N3287 County OA

7 - CL $1 domestic 12 oz $2 Stoli mixers

$1.50 bloody marys 11 a.m. - 4 p.m

$1 Dr. shots $3 Jager Bombs

2 for 1 taps

7 - CL Tequila’s chips & salsa, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Mike’s, Mike-arita

7 - midnight Ladies: 2 for 1 Guys: $1.50 Coors and Kul Light bottles

7 - midnight $1 rail mixers $2 Bacardi mixers

7 - midnight $2 Malibu madness $2 pineapple upsidedown cake

10 cent wings (6-CL) $1 shot of the week, $1.50 PBR bottles, rails, Rolling Rocks, $2 Miller lite bottles

happy hour (open-9) jumbo pints (9-CL) $1 rails, domestic taps $2 calls, import/micro taps $3 top shelf mixers

$3.00 Captain mixers/ mojitos $2.00 Cherry Bombs $1.00 Bazooka Joes

all Bud family bottles $2.50

$2 Bacardi flavor mixers $2 jumbo Captain & Cokes $2.50 Jager Bombs

Topless Tuesday

Ladies Night buy one, get one free wear a bikini, drink free

Karaoke $1 shot specials

live DJ $1 shot specials

chicken & veggie fajitas for two

football night domestic beer: $1.50 Mexican beer: $2.00

chicken primavera

shrimp burrito

chili verde

Ask server for details

Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00

Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00

Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00

25 Cent Wings

$2 off all pitchers

717 Rose st.

$1.50 PBR $1 shots of Dr.

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8

beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak

free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.

HAPPY HOUR 5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

$8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter

Buy one gyro get one half price

free baklava, ice cream or sundae with meal

$1.25 domestic taps buy one burger get one half price

buy one appetizer get one half price

GREEK ALL DAY appetizer half price with meal

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 -7 and 9 - 11

Bloody Mary specials 10 - 2

JB’s Speakeasy

Karaoke

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6 $1.25 BURGERS

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM

$5.99 gyro fries & soda

$3.00 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos $2.00 Cherry Bombs $1.00 Bazooka Joes

50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per hour) $1 rails

$1 Kul Light cans

1908 Campbell rd.

324 Jay st.

$6.75 shrimp dinner

$4 full pint Irish Car Bomb

Gracie’s

The Joint

Italian beef meal: $6.15 2 Chicago dog meal: $3.45

HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7 closed

1904 Campbell rd.

127 Marina dr.

pepper & egg sandwich meal: $4.50, fish sandwich meal: $4.99, Italian sausage meal: $6.15

Wristband Night

Martini Madness $2 off all martinis

Goal Post

Huck Finn’s

$5.50 $5.00 batterfried cod, all you can eat fries, beans, & garlic wings bread $4.50 domestic pitchers barrel parties at cost

HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM

223 Pearl st.

411 3rd st.

3-7 happy hour

$2 Silos

$5.00 BBQ ribs & fries

Coconut Joe’s Dan’s Place

3 games for $5 starts at 7 p.m.

$1.00 softshell tacos

meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45 Italian sausage: $4.95

114 5th ave.

318 Pearl st.

Tuesday Wednesday

16 oz top sirloin $6.75 22 oz t-bone $9.75 blue cheese stuffed sirloin $7.75 Jack Daniels sirloin tips $7

free pitcher of beer or soda with large pizza

The Cavalier CheapShots

food & drink specials ]

6 domestic bottles for $10

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6 $1.50 PBR $2 Love Stories $5 Wu Tang Teas $1 shots of the DOC!

$1.50 PBR $1 shots of Dr.

20


COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area LA CROSSE Legend’s

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

223 Pearl st.

The Library 123 3rd st.

come in and find out ... you’ll be glad you did

Loons

bacon cheeseburger, beer: $5

Nutbush

25 wings: $5 bucket of beer: $12 during Packers games

Ringside

$1 off Phillies $2 Bloodys $2 domestic taps & bottles

223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s 3119 State rd.

Shooter’s 120 S 3rd st.

Sports Nut 801 Rose st.

$1 taps $1 rails

hamburger $1.25 fries, mug of beer: $4.50 cheeseburger $150 drummies, fries, mug of

1128 La Crosse st.

3264 George st.

closed

Pizza & pitcher half price app with sandwich or burger

breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

$1.50 cans Hamm’s $1 domestic taps

food & drink specials Õ ] Thursday

$2 SVEDKA mixers & Miller Lite bottles

jumbo pints (9-CL) $1 rails, domestic taps $2 calls, import/micro taps $3 top shelf mixers

KARAOKE $1.25 domestic pints $2 double rails $3 double calls $2 ALL bottles

Ladies Night (8-12) 50 cent u-call-its Wristband Night

chicken filet, fries, pop: $4.75 chicken filet, fries, beer: $5 mushroom/swiss, fries, pop: $4.25, mushroom/swiss, fries, beer: $4.50

$5.00 for 25 wings

AUCE fish fry DJ 9 - CL

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM $2 mixers, taps, bottles $1 off all burgers/ 3 p.m. - midnight buy one sandwich/burger sandwiches, 25 cent hot wings get one half price bottomless fries $1 shots of Dr.

$1.50 cans PBR

$1.50 cans Busch Light

$1.50 cans Busch Light

$1.50 cans Old Style

$1 burgers $1 domestic taps

$1 softshell tacos $1 domestic taps

10 cent wings $1 domestic taps

12 oz T-Bones $7.99 $1 domestic taps

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM

$4 domestic pitchers

$2 Bacardi mixers

$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints

Bucket Night 5 for $9

Top Shots

Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas

$1.50 PBR bottles $1.50 Dr. shots after 7 p.m.

$1.25 Lite taps all day $1.50 rails 10 - 1

$1.75 domestic bottles 7 - 12

5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

Family pack: 10 tacos & 4 sodas for $14.99

burritos on the go: buy a big one and get a free soda

Speedy tacos $1.50

gyro, chips, soda $5.99

3 chicken fry taquitos $3.99

Sunday

Monday

Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.

LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.

Speedy Taco 301 Kistler dr.

WINONA Betty Jo Byoloski’s

66 Center st.

Brothers 129 W 3rd st.

Godfather’s 30 Walnut st.

21

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Tuesday Wednesday

$1.50 cans Miller High Life Light Fish Fry $6.99 $1 domestic taps $1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

closed

$2 happy hour all day long!

half price appetizers, Import Club Night: discounts on all micros & imports $1 martinis $2 mojitos $3 margaritas & Michelob Golden pitchers

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

all-u-can-eat spaghetti all day $5.45 25 cent hot wings 4 - 10

tenderloin tips, shrooms, fries or potato, salad, roll $9.95 50 cents off top shelf liquor

HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 PM 10 cent wings, $3 filled 2 for 1 mug ($1 tap refills, $2 anything rail refills) $1 High Life 9 p.m. - CL bottles/kamikaze shots

$1.50 cans PBR 10 cent wings 5- gone $1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $4.50 lite pitchers 7 - 12

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday $2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish

Fiesta burrito $6.99

Nachos Supreme $5.49

Friday

Saturday

HAPPY HOUR 3:15 - 6:15 2 for 1 burgers $1 off Bloodys & Screwdrivers

$1.25 pints during Badgers games DJ 9 - CL

LUNCH BUFFET $6.45

happy hour all day Packer games: $1.50 Coors Light Silver, $1 Dr. shots, free brats

137 S 4th st.

AUCE all day $9.99 walleye/perch/catfish, mashed potatoes/fries coleslaw/salad

$3 Captain mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands

LUNCH SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY

Tailgators 1019 S 10th st.

$3 Bacardi mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands fish sandwich, fries, mug of beer: $5 fish sandwich, fries, pop: $4.75

BUCK WED burger, hot dog or brat

Saturday

$5 double vodka energy drink $2 shots of Goldschlager

cheeseburger, fries, pop: $4 cheeseburger, fries, beer: $4.25 Philly or Reuben, fries, pop: $5.75, Philly or Reuben, fries, beer: $6

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6

$1 tacos, Ladies Night 2 for 1, 9 - CL

Friday

free pitcher of pop or domestic beer with large pizza discounts on all domestic beer

all day: all-u-can-eat fish $8.95 lunch: fish sandwich & fries $5.45

$1 O-Bombs/ Bazooka Joes, Wristband Night

3 - 8: $2 High Life pitchers, $3 dom. pitchers. $5 fish bowls, $1 shot/week, $2.50 Capt. mixers, $2.25 Bud/Bud Light taps

Prime Rib specials, one child eats free with one adult entree 4 - 10: house wines $2.50 $1 O-Bombs/Bazooka Joes, $2.50 Bacardi mixers, $2.50 U-Call-Its, $3 flavored long islands

any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

January 17, 2008


La Crosse, cont. Just A Roadie Away...

La Crosse Thursday, January 17

Sunday, January 20

Dan’s Place Live DJ

9:00

Popcorn Tavern Somethin Jazz

The Recovery Room Live DJ

9:00

Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Paulie

10:00

TWIN CITIES 10:00

Dan’s Place Grilled Cheese Experience All Star Lanes Karaoke My Second Home Karaoke Player’s Live DJ Nutbush Live DJ Popcorn Tavern TBA

9:00 9:00 9:00 10:00 10:00 10:00

Saturday, January 19 Dan’s Place Space Gator/Awesome Possum 9:00 All Star Lanes Karaoke 9:00

MENOMONIE

Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

Euforquestra Shoeless Revolution

Popcorn Tavern Paulie

10:00

Wednesday, January 23 Loon’s Comedy Night

MILWAUKEE

8:30

Library Karaoke

9:00

Coconut’s Live DJ

10:00

Longhorn Karaoke

10:00

Player’s Karaoke

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Brownie’s Open Jam

10:00

The Joint Wu-Tang Wednesday

10:30

Sun, 1/27 Wed, 1/30

The Waterfront Bar & Grill The Waterfront Bar & Grill

Sat, 2/2 Thurs, 2/14

Majestic Theatre Barrymore Theatre

Tues 1/29 Thurs, 2/7

The Rave/Eagles Ballroom The Rave/Eagles Ballroom

Fri, 1/25 Sat, 1/26

MADISON Editors, Hot Hot Heat, Louis XIV Dark Star Orchestra

Velvet Revolver moe., Cornmeal

Thursday, January 24 Dan’s Place Live DJ

9:00

10:00

The Recovery Room Live DJ 9:00

Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Sol Spectre

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Run Side Down

10:00

Second Supper vol. 8, issue 100!

moe. First Avenue Sound Tribe Sector 9, sub-ID First Avenue

Tuesday, January 22

Friday, January 18

Players Live DJ

Ã

Entertainment Directory 1/10-1/29

bar & grill

Ã

114 5 t h A v e n u e - La Cro s s e

Packer Party! Raffle and door prizes Free food at halftime $1 OFF drinks Free Drink if they win Starts at 4:30

22


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January 17, 2008


HOOP DA Y M a ke a s Burger/Shot and your andwich is FREE! Who needs the 50 yard line, when you've got ringside seats!

Tuesday - Thursday HAPPY HOUR 4-7 PM

AUCE FRIDAY FISH FRY - ALL DAY walleye, perch, catfish, $9.99 - comes w/ mashed potatoes or french fries, and coleslaw or side salad

Wings Start at 8 PM!

FRIDAY & Saturday

$2.25 Bud Lights $1 Pabst & Pabst Light $1.50 Rolling rock $1.50 JUMBO rails

$2.50 JUMBO Capt. & Bacardi flavored Mixers $3 Jager Bombs $2.50 Goose Mixers

CHECK OUT ALL OUR SPECIALS IN COMMUNITY SERVICE


Second Supper, Issue 100