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Valentine’sIssue Day



Calling out the



William Godwin’s Tell-all

William Blake’s “Garden of Eden”

common nonsense Returns!

Table of Contents FEATURES


2 Racism at its Finest 3 COVER STORY: Calling out the Crypt! 5 EXCLUSIVE: Blake’s Naked “Garden of Eden” 12 COLUMN: Let’s Fall in Love

7 RECIPE: Scathing Peanut Butter Bars 8 CRAFTS: Hand-Printed Stationary &


12 Music Minute 13 Common Nonsense 15 QUIZ: Which Romantic Poet are You?


List of Contributors anneke Barten athleen Osther

ierin McConachie lison Darrigo ebecca Duce athleen Martin



Jewellery Box


Third Year Con-Current Education, Double Major Honours Bachelor in English and Contemporary Studies, Double minor in Religion and Criminology, Teachable's in Religion, English and Social Sciences, Bachelor of Education

University student, dedicated reader, occasional writer. :)

Lierin, or “Martha Ray”, is best known for her appearance in Wordsworth’s “The Thorn.” One of the newest writers at J. KLARK, she brings a fresh perspective to the magazine and is ready to have her voice, and thoughts on love, be heard.

Ontario Scholar, known worldwide for over-the-top-silence, slowly became too unfit for the gym, never learned French (attended Concordia University in Montreal for one year) still never learned French, Awarded Patricia White Memorial Art Award, thoroughly Canadian; loves poutine

Part-time procrastinator and aspiring Mogul diamond

Kathleen is a misanthropic snarkbot that we here at J. KLARK can't seem to fire, no matter how many times we try. It might have something to do with her humour, her artistic contributions, or her organizational skills. [Editor's note: It's none of those. We can't fire her because of the sheer amount of blackmail material she's gotten her evil little hands on.]

Racism at its Finest William Blake’s popular collections Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience, have been admired by the general public. The poetry that has been presented throughout these two works is a great pleasure to read for any particular audience, but not with each poem. One poem in particular, “The Little Black Boy”, has a distinct feature of racism. The poem exemplifies how racist Blake could have possibly been. Starting off with the introduction, and ending it with the image that was provided with the poem. It is a clear indication of segregation throughout the poem. The poem begins with a clear statement that the young boy is from the “southern wild” (Blake 1) which is a clear indication that the boy was born in South Africa. Since South Africa is a dominantly Black community, this indicates that the little boy is black. As the first stanza continues, it tells the audience the child’s bother is white since “my soul is white” (Blake 2). This emphasizes that his outward appearance is black, however he has a white soul, indicating that their mother is white and grew up in a white community. The poem also tells the audience that there are two children in the poem, one that is white and one that is black, as shown that “White as an angel is the English child;/ But I am black as if bereaved of light” (Blake 3-4). This line also indicated that the two children are in England. England is a prominently white community, so it also reestablishes the negativity towards the child being black. The following stanza helps the audience realize how racist this this poem is. As the second stanza begins by emphasizing that the white mother teaches the children under a tree. The mother wants to be in the shadow of the tree, so that no one could see the mother teacher her two children. This leads to the conclusion that the mother is ashamed of the black child, because she hides in the shadows. The shade also hides the black child a lot better than being in the sunlight. In the third stanza the two children are still being taught by the mother under the tree. The teaching in this stanza is of God and how God is the light of the world. In the first stanza the reader is shown how the white people are referenced as the light the world, and darkness is referred to the black people in society. As the mother

teaches the children about God, she referred to God as being the one who gives out “comfort in the morning joy in the noon day” (Blake 12). This is a clear indication that “light” is good. When the following stanza continues, the mother goes into greater detail about the racism in the world. The fourth stanza emphasizes that the world has “little space” (Blake 13), and we must learn the way of love. However, the final two lines reiterate that “those black bodies and this sun-burnt face Is but a cloud, and a shady grove” (Blake15-16). The poems alludes that black people are inhibited from discovering what love is for you can only find love in the light. The word “grove” connotes that being black is not good because a grove is a place in the woods that has dead animals. A grove is not clean or sanitary therefore the poem gives the illusion that the same can be said of black people. As the poem continues, it continues to be racist towards blacks, especially when it says "come out from the grove my love & care, And round my golden tent like lambs and rejoice" (Blake 19-20). This line indicated near the end that you must get in a circle like lambs and rejoice, by nature lambs are known to be white. The poem reiterates that to be with God you have to be white. You cannot be black and be in this circle because then you would not look like everyone else. The following stanza has the black boy thinking he is part of the lambs, especially because he turns to the other English Boy and tells him everything what his mother has just said. Even though the boys are running around in a circle and the audience may think racism has been lifted from society – the opposite is true. The final stanza restates the racist element of the poem. The young black boy takes care of the English boy, and only "lean[s] in joy upon [their] fathers knee" (Blake 26). Therefore, the black boy is the slave, and has to learn to love getting down on his knees, as in he will have to like doing what he is being told. The best part is when the poem ends, and the boy says "and be like him and he will then love me" (Blake 28), the black boy wants to be white, and wants to be liked by the white English boy. That is the only way he is able to satisfy the white English boy and his own life. The black boy’s desire is to be loved by the white English boy, and to be white, because he does see that white people are treated better.




Affairs—Fake Marriages—Suicide Attempts William Godwin’s Tell-all reveals Wollstonecraft’s sexual history and emotional secrets!

Will her reputation survive?



Revenge of the widower? William Godwin (41), husband of recently deceased Mary Wollstonecraft (38 & 1759-1797), has written a memoir that reads more like a tell-all. The tell-all “Memoirs of the Author of a Vindication of the Rights of Woman”, sources confirm, will contain intimate details about Wollstonecraft’s life previously unknown to the public. Wollstonecraft was adored by many as she advocated for women’s rights and was a recognized female political writer. Everyone thought Godwin and Wollstonecraft were the perfect match; both writers and philosophers – intellectual companions. However five months after her passing, Godwin decided to publish a selfdescribed memoir about Wollstonecraft. Godwin’s “memoir” delves deep into Wollstonecraft’s personal and emotional life. Godwin shows no mercy in relation to details normal people would respect and keep under tight wraps. Instead, as a loving dedication and account of his wife’s life, Godwin focuses on Wollstonecraft’s past trauma, relationships, marriages, affairs, and attempted suicides. Exclusive to J. KLARK, we’ve got the juicy details so Godwin’s “memoir” will not get the pleasure of being the “first”. Mary Wollstonecraft’s childhood was plagued with an abusive father, and throughout her life she faced many hardships, until she was finally met with the relief that is William Godwin. However Mary did not let others suffer alongside her. She convinced her sister to leave her own abusive husband and also her child. Mary’s first sexual scandal was her affair with a married man named Henry Fuseli. Their relationship was passionate but strained so it ended soon after it started (or the wife found out). The most notable scandal of Mary’s was with a man named Gilbert Imlay. They met, fell in love, and she registered as his wife to gain American citizenship although they never legally married – awe! However, Mary still got pregnant and birthed a daughter, which led Imlay to be unfaithful and abandon them. It is no question that because of the men in her life, Mary attempted suicide from Imlay’s actions. He managed to prevent her – then send her away on a business trip with their child so he could continue being unfaithful and live with another woman. Mary returned and found out, and had her second suicide attempt by jumping off a bridge. Some fishermen found and rescued her. Afterwards, she met William Godwin. They first began as a mutual commitment without the bond of marriage. But Mary got pregnant and so they married. Her past scandal that may have remained unknown to Godwin surfaced because she was technically registered as Imlay’s wife. Mary got married again, birthed another daughter, and died later due to childbirth complications. This and more revealed in Godwin’s “memoir”, a close friend confirms, will excite and shock the public, whom as of now think very highly of Mary. Her reputation will be sullied from Godwin’s accounts of her sexual promiscuity. However there is justice for Mary because William will be presented as a cuckold and a laughing-stock by some critics. Close friends to Mary hope the multiple publications she made advocating for women’s rights and education will be enough to dismiss exaggerated personal facts exploited by one man.





“Justice is the sum of all moral duty”: Godwin believes it is his moral duty to do justice to Mary’s life by telling everyone about it.

“Men endeavour to sink us still lower, merely to render us alluring objects for a moment” Mary knows her men well.

“Everything understood by the term co-operation is in some sense an evil” Godwin could not have written this memoir while Mary lived to reject it.

“The only way women can rise in the world – by marriage” Well, she tried.

“Unfortunately not all extraordinary people are good people” Did he even really love her?

“WILLIAM BLAKE’S NAKED GARDEN OF EDEN” Renowned writer William Blake and wife Catherine Boucher were spotted in their backyard garden reading…naked! Blake married Catherine, an illiterate daughter of a gardener although he had a misogynist approach to marriage. However he also believed carnal pleasure is the portal to the divine and renounces sexual domination to celebrate the “moment of desire.” Just be careful when they invite you over and tell you to “go around the back”.



Mary Wollstonecraft Inspired Baking Sceptical about Valentine’s Day or simply done with love in general? Try these scathing peanut butter bars inspired by quotes from Mary Wollstonecraft

•Some women govern their husbands without degrading themselves because intellect will always govern 1/2 cup butter •They do today what they did yesterday, merely because they did it 1 cup graham cracker crumbs yesterday 1 & 1/3 cup icing sugar •Strengthen the female mind by enlarging it and there will be an 1 cup & 3 tbsp. peanut-butter end to blind obedience 1 & ½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips •They were taught to please, and they only live to please Cake Mate icing scribblers (or edible •To speak disrespectfully of love is, I know, high treason markers) against sentiment and fine feelings •Love, perhaps, the most evanescent of all passions, gives Directions: 1. Line a 8x8 or 9x9 square baking pan with aluminum place to jealousy or vanity foil and set it aside •She will not model her soul to suit the frailties of her 2. In a medium size sauce pan melt the butter over low companion heat. Once melted remove from heat. Stir in graham cracker crumbs and icing sugar until well blended •The women who have distinguished themselves have never 3. Stir in 1 cup of peanut-butter and spread mixture into been the most beautiful nor the most gentle of their sex Ingredients:

lined baking pan. Place in fridge while preparing the top layer 4. Using the same sauce pan as above, melt 3 tbsp. peanut-butter and the chocolate chips. Once melted spread onto the bottom layer in the pan. 5. Place in fridge until firm 6. Decorate using Cake Mate icing scribblers


•Strength and usefulness are sacrificed to beauty •Perhaps the seeds of false-refinement, immorality, and vanity have ever been shed by the great •My own sex, I hope, will excuse me if I treat them like rational creatures •I wish to persuade women to endeavour to acquire strength, both of mind and body •They are made ridiculous and useless when the short-lived bloom of beauty is over •I presume that rational men will excuse me for endeavouring to persuade them to become more masculine and respectable

Perfect for lonely hearts Valentine’s parties!



This Valentine’s Day, tell him how you really feel with hand-printed stationary—because some are hilariously inept at understanding anything less than the stupidly obvious when feelings are involved.

Step 1: You will need paper, stamps (I suggest rubber—for the big night and the stamps), (craft!) sponges—you’ll need one for each colour—and paint (I’ve used acrylic).

Step 2: First, lay out your materials and decide on the design you want for your stationary. Depending on your mood—and the message you want to send—you can use white or coloured paper, and scallop or tear the edges. I’ve used standard white paper, and left the edges alone (the same way I want men to leave me alone), but the choice is yours. Once you’ve decided whether or not you love him or want him to suffer, and have chosen accordingly, lay out some mess-paper and your stamps. J.KLARK |FEBRUARY 2014


Step 3: Next, pour out paint onto a palette or plastic lid. Dip your sponge in, and carefully sponge an even coat onto your stamp. (Yes, use a sponge, and not a paintbrush. You will thank me later when your stationary comes out splotch-free.) Now, depending on what kind of stamp you’re using (and remember, rubber is best!) you will either hold the stamp while sponging and press it to your paper, or you will lay the stamp on the mess-paper, sponge paint on, and press your paper to the stamp. For those of you who are hopelessly confused, all I will say is that it comes down to whether or not it has a handle for you to use (the stamp, that is).

Step 4: Either way, once you’ve given your stamp a light, even coat of paint, press your paper and stamp together. Make sure you apply even pressure over the whole area (and you can keep that advice in mind for later, if you want), and that your paper and stamp don’t slip or slide. Unlike the fun you should be having on the the 14th (and hopefully into very early on the 15th), friction is not your friend while printing stationary.


tep 5: Carefully peel them apart—again, sticking and sliding is bad—and lay your paper aside to dry. The acrylic paint I’ve used dries fairly quickly, and tends not to bleed through the paper like ink-stamping often does. This is great if you have a real flair for the dramatic or really like your stud-muffin and want to layer your stamps in more intricate designs. And don’t forget that envelopes are stamp-able too!



Is your lady magpie-like in her love of trinkets and shiny baubles? Then we’ve got the perfect Valentine’s Day gift idea right here!

Step 1: You will need a wooden box, acrylic paints in the colours of your choice, plus white, paintbrushes, some fabric, hot glue, and any “finishing touches” you’d like to add—like photographs, glitter, beads, etc.

Step 2: First, take your box—the one shown here has a mirror on the inside of the lid, but any sort of wooden box will do—and give it a coat of white paint (primer).

Step 3: Once it’s dry, give your project a couple coats of paint in the colour(s) of your choice. Here, I’ve used violet for the sides, gold for the rim, and a deep red for the border on the lid—traditional Valentine’s Day colours.

Step 4: Next, line your jewellery box using fabric and hot glue. (Warning: it’s called “hot glue” for a reason, and this step is a [removed].)



Step 5: Now, if you’re awesome and talented like me, you can paint an image on the top or side of your box. If you’re a little less talented (or looking for the quick and easy route into your lady’s knickers) then you can glue a photograph, collage, or stamp designs on your box instead. I finished off my jewellery box design with some glitter, because everyone knows that girls love glitter like junkies love crack.

And voila!! You have a lovely gift to present your lady with! (Hopefully she’ll use it to organize her [removed], and you’ll get lucky as a “thank you”.)

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Featuring Lyrical Ballads! If your Valentine’s Day is absolutely nothing to celebrate, then this is the perfect album for you! Whatever your reason for being depressed, you will find that little extra kick you need to off yourself with Wordsworth’s new album, and spare the rest of us the sight of your gloomy mug. If you’re a parent whom has lost a child—your favourite one, perhaps?—then “Lucy Gray” is the song to mope to. If, however, you’re a wonderful, dedicated, loving parent that merely has a massive disappointment for a child, then “Michael” ought to be right up your alley. If you’re a woman disappointed in men, “The Thorn” commiserates with you—whether it’s over a broken heart, a dead baby, or the idiot who knocked you up and then ran off with some tart on your wedding day, this is the song to cry along to. Of course, if you’re just in the mood to remember that someone special who got away—or died, or left your ugly and/or miserable and/or fat [removed]—then songs such as “There was a Boy”, “She dwelt among th’ untroubled ways”, and “Strange fits of passion I have known” are all good for your Pity Party Playlist. If you’re a young academic who needs to get laid before your bits shrivel and turn to dust, then “The Tables Turned” should be just the kick in the [removed] you need. Alternatively, if you’re on Death’s front step and would rather remember fondly than face your own imminent demise, then “Tinturn Abbey” will do the trick quite nicely. So there you have it: Wordsworth, the perfect artist for every miserable soul. But, because it’s Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to snag yourself a date or at least a good pity [removed], because, let’s face it—if you don’t have a lover this th February 14 , you aren’t worthy of being called a human being.

Here we are again, another Valentine’s Day. It seems inevitable that this comes every year, reminding the lonely just how lonely they are. Do you want to talk about love? Let’s talk. Love is not going to save anyone. In fact, it’s really only going to hurt you more. It’s just the illusion of hope in a broken world. And when you find that “special person” you’ll realize, as I did, they are only going to find someone else. Leave you alone, on the altar, waiting for him to show before realizing. He’s not coming. Nobody’s coming. Nobody needs the headache of love, or the aching feeling that comes in the pit of your stomach when you realize that he’s not coming back. Or maybe it was just nausea because you realized you were pregnant with his child. Can you relate? No? Lucky you. But maybe you’re more fortunate than I. Maybe you found the person who gives you that warm and tingling feeling inside, that awakens in you a feeling that you can’t describe, that you’ll never be able to describe. Perhaps, you’ve found the only good guy in this world. Making you feel the need to do something special on Valentine’s Day. Make dinner together, eat it over candlelight, and spend the rest of the night engaged in some expletive or another. Or maybe you’ll wake up and see that no one is going to be there forever to take care of you. The day of the year doesn’t matter because in the end you will be like the rest: left longing for what you can only imagine in your mind. Reality is that people don’t stay together. They find the newest model and trade you in without an explanation for what went wrong. So you have no hope of keeping your relationship together, even if you wanted to. And you’ll be left unhappy and alone, as I was. So let’s do it. Let’s fall in love.




Dear Common Nonsense, The flame's dead. Most women should know what I'm talking about. My man and I are well into our relationship. It's been years, ladies, and this ring is starting to feel like big 'ole empty promise. So maybe it was inevitable, but I think he's lost interest. I just don't understand! I've always catered to him, done what he's wanted. I even cooked his favourite meal last night and nothing. It’s like I'm engaged to a

lump. I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid, but lately I've been catching him looking at other women and now he's always at his buddies' house. What can I do? People tell me to spice it up, but, HELLO, I'm not the only one in this relationship…


If we are to give you relationship advice, this assumes we are the divine authority on all things canoodling, but we're not. (Despite what our mothers say about us.) Although, in our anything-but-humble opinion, we think you are accurate with your




Dear Common Nonsense, So Valentine’s Day is coming… ~Kill Me

Dear Kill Me, "Social distinctions can only be founded on common utility." [Olympe de Gouges, The Rights of Woman,135]

Dear Tango, "Nations can have no secrets; and the secrets of courts, like those of individuals, are always their defects." [Thomas Paine, The Rights of Man, 20]

Spotlight Nonsense

observation that is takes two to tango. There must be some age-old word of advice that can sum it up better than we're about to, but here it is: Don't tiptoe. Tiptoeing is for another time, another discourse. Confront the possibility of secrets. Be blunt, and we know it seems bizarre, but (hold your breath now!)...ask him.

 CC

Trust us; you're not the only one, dearie. Valentine's Day, like many other rituals, will persist because they offer the opportunity to validate the seemingly inconsequential. In the chaos of our lives, we all want to feel like we did something. Maybe we don't belong, but we can participate in one facet or another. But who are we to rehash the plights of humanity? We're not afraid of sounding like stuffy know-it-alls, but, sheesh, sometimes words are just so darn sexy. 


Dear Common Nonsense,

Dear Common Nonsense,

How do they do it? Those women, I mean. How do they look so...perfect? And all the time. How do they keep up with the "latest trends" while I'm just sifting through the clearance rack at Winners? I'm tempted to give up. Unless you know their secret? Tell me!

How can you tell if they're joking or they're being assholes? I met this person and they pulled a sexist joke on me. I then walked out. Should I call them? I mean, really, how do you truly know what type they are without investing your heart and soul?

~Frustrated ~ Clearance Rack

Dear Frustrated,

Dear Clearance Rack, "In fact, it is a farce to call any being virtuous whose virtues do not result from the exercise of its own reason." [A Vindication of the Rights of Women, Mary Wollstonecraft, 107] Sounds like the stirrings of an innovator... Give up. We dare you.

 CC

Dear Common Nonsense, How is it that we're in the workplace, we have the degrees, we've secured the career and I can still feel the condescension?

~Career Woman

Dear Career Woman, "Custom, from the earliest periods of antiquity, has endeavored to place the female mind in the subordinate ranks of intellectual socioability." [A Letter to the Women of England, Mary Robinson, 97]

"Be consistent, men! Ye stronger half of the race, be at length rational! Three or four thousand years have worn threadbare your vile cloak of hypocrisy." [Appeal of One Half of the Human Race, Women, Against the Pretensions of the Other Half, Men, to Retain Them in Political, and Thence in Civial and Domestic Slavery, William Thompson and Anna Wheeler, 144] Some of them aren't made of the stuff, y'know? Integrity is not the new sexy. It's always been sexy.

 CC

Dear Common Nonsense, I'm a guy and I feel like I need to stand up for the rest of us men. I think most of what you've been saying is pretty illogical. Why spew these whimsical notions of romance and methods of carving up the ideal man when...none of it works in reality? There is a reason why these "gender norms" persist...because they work.

Oh how we looooove adversity—gets us all hot under the collar.

 CC

 CC

Dear Common Nonsense, Just writing in to tell you my wife and I really appreciate the candid comments. Not many magazines "tell it like it is". Many of those ignorant comments you include from a certain number of close-minded people (we approve that you even include these comments because it proves your willingness to tackle the opposition) still tend to bring up relevant points. How should we understand the ounce of truth coming from the mouth of the Fool?


Dear Grateful, "Without Contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate, are necessary to Human existence." [The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, Plate 3, William Blake, 73] There are different degrees of Fools. Them Shakespearean blokes have some neat things to say. But we know what you mean. Well, truth changes. It exists in varying forms and isn't shy about flipping us the bird.

 CC


Dear Practical, "Tell me: what has given you the sovereign power to oppress my sex?" [The Rights of Women, Olympe de Gouges, 134]

We all take part in the drudgery…so send in your quips, queries, and quirks to Mary at!



Calling all budding poet masters! Record your answers and find out… 1. You would start your poem with:

2. The most important element to include in poetry is:

A: “Whilst walking under glowing skies . . .” B: “A strange vision, I do recall . . .” C: “Every innocent child, that will one day . . .” 3. You favour what kind of language in your poetry?

A: conversational B: symbolic /visionary C: elegant and logical 5. You are what kind of poet?

A: revolutionary B: unique/unclassifiable C: influential and popular

A: an overflow of powerful feeling B: imagination C: reality 4. You plan to:

A: dedicate your life to poetry B: remain undiscovered—geniuses are never appreciated during their lifetime C: Write successfully in many genres 6. Your subject matter is predominantly:

A: philosophical B: mystical/spiritual/religious C: political 7. Your personality is best described as: A: down-to-earth B: anti-authoritarian C: non-conformist/outsider

Congratulations! You are… Mostly A’s: William Wordsworth His Preface to Lyrical Ballads is considered the manifesto of the Romantics, and he was poet laureate (AKA The Big Poetic Shit) from 1843 – 1850. Like Wordsworth, your poetry privileges feelings and simple language while it explores deep philosophical ideas. Obviously you’re more than just a pretty face.

Mostly B’s: William Blake A dissenting voice in religion and politics, William Blake remained mostly undiscovered in his lifetime. But that didn’t stop his work—mystical, prophetic, and completely misunderstood—from being wholly unique and an important influence on future writers. If you’re like Blake, your poetry will change the world. (You just won’t be around to watch it happen.)

Mostly C’s: Anna Laetitia Barbauld Anna Laetitia Barbauld was a woman unlike any other—fiercely political, intelligent, and standing outside traditional gender roles, she was widely read and well-liked. Unfortunately, her career and well-deserved fame was slashed to ribbons when one of her poems was ill-received. So, smarty-pants, if you’re like Barbauld, be careful not to let bumps in the road stand in the way of your success.




Special Valentine's Day Issue! Exploring everything fluff, snark, and Romantic.