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The Week In News

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home


Dear Readers, There’s a saying attributed to the holy Reb Zusha: “After 120, when

JEWISH THOUGHT Living with the Times . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 Torah Musings. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

I’m tried in the court of truth, they won’t ask me how come I wasn’t like Avraham, Yitzchak, or Yaakov. They will ask, ‘Zusha, how come you

LIFESTYLES Humor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Emotional Health. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

FEATURE Scooters are Everywhere. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

weren’t like Zusha!’” Typically, the first reaction to the story is, “Whew! I’m off the hook. I’m not expected to be like the greats.” However, the opposite is true. It’s a demand for us to become our own greatest selves, the extraordinary




people we can be, if only we exert ourselves enough. Coming into this world, you were given your family, your talents, and a set of circumstances created to nudge you towards greatness. So why weren’t you the best you possible? Whether it’s a talent in writing, being cheerful, learning, or physical strength, we are expected to harness all our background for positivity. Take something like free choice. We all have it. We claim all the time, “I have the right to make my own decisions.” But that’s besides the point. We do have it, and it’s the most G-d-like power possible. Why do we waste it? Instead of using it to make bad decisions, we should be using it to accomplish the most amazing things because we are free to choose. Surely the One above will fulfill His promise of “Nachamu nachamu ami,” healing our people of all the pain and suffering we’ve been through if we do as He expects us. Wishing you a wonderful and joyous Shabbos,


T H E P R E M I E R J E W I S H N E W S PA P E R H I G H L I G H T I N G L A’ S O R T H O D OX C O M M U N I T Y The Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. Opinions expressed by writers are not neces­sarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly. FOR HOME DELIVERY, OR TO HAVE THE LATEST ISSUE EMAILED TO YOU FREE OF CHARGE, SEND A MESSAGE TO EDITOR@JEWISHHOMELA.COM

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News



Communicated The Week In News

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Ze LaZe Loves Me Just Like My Father Did S. Fisher “Two years ago, my father called me and my siblings into his room. He blessed us with Birchas HaBonim. That was the last time I saw him... I felt so alone.” This is the story of one of the orphans who is a member of Ze LaZe. Ze LaZe has provided a personal support system for thousands of widows and orphans from every part of Eretz Yisroel. From the moment of loss, Ze LaZe works tirelessly to provide for every need of the freshly bereaved widows and orphans. Ze LaZe workers are there, with open arms

and open hearts, 24 hours a day. Ze LaZe organizes many varied programs throughout the year: weekend getaways, bas mitzvah groups, yom tov events, and much more. One of their most ambitious undertakings is a summer camp for hundreds of orphaned girls. “This year Ze LaZe is planning a camp for me and all my friends. Please help me raise the money so we can all go to the camp this year! At Ze LaZe camp I feel like there is someone close to me, someone who loves me just as my father did.”

Help Ze LaZe help her go to camp with all her friends. Be a part of realizing this young orphan’s dream. Please open your hearts and donate at www.campze. org to help one more orphan go to camp. You can also donate by mailing your Tax Deductible Donation to: American Friends of ZeLaZe, 1731 56th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11204 You may also call us at: 904-606-6146 or 407-890-1322 or visit us online at www.

Chai Lifeline Young Leaders Gather for Annual Summer Soirée Nearly 100 members of Chai Lifeline West Coast’s Young Leaders Initiative gathered at the home of Marilyn and Jaime Sohacheski on June 28th for an evening of fun and inspiration at the fourth annual Summer Soiree. This evening of appreciation recognizes the commitment and support of Chai Lifeline’s Young Leaders—young couples and individuals across the greater Los Angeles community dedicated to enhancing the lives of children and families living with pediatric illness or loss in their homes. The evening featured cocktails and a dinner buffet under a starlit sky. Nonetheless, the highlight of the event was 16-year old cancer survivor Ofek Shmool, who talked about his medical journey and personal experience with Chai Lifeline. “I cannot imagine how my family and I could have gone through this challenging experience without the support of Chai Lifeline,” Ofek shared. “Chai Lifeline served as a beacon of light to my family, in a room full of darkness. My experiences as a young sevenyear-old in the hospital, as well as the love from Chai Lifeline and all of my Chai Lifeline friends and volunteers, have inspired me to pursue a degree in medicine, and specifically oncology, in order to assist kids who may have to face this awful experience. This is my passion in life, and Chai Lifeline ignited the fire in me to make a change and give back to the kids who are in similar positions as I was, and care for them as Chai Lifeline did for me.” Alain Kuppermann, who served as master of ceremonies, spoke about the importance of Chai Lifeline’s Young Leaders, not only through their generous support, but also their hands-on involvement in the organization. He shared his own family’s story of his children connecting with a Chai Lifeline child. Young Leader Ruchie Fried also spoke about her family’s direct involvement in Chai Lifeline’s work, through a mitzvah project that she and her son do every week assembling and delivering Shabbos Kits. Chai Lifeline West Coast Regional Director Randi Grossman discussed the impact of the Young Leaders Initiative on Chai Lifeline’s growth of programs and services. The evening was capped off with an exceptionally fun and competitive game of Bingo, followed by a delicious dessert bar.

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News


A Special Protection during Bein Hazmanim Maran Rabbeinu Sar HaTorah Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlita in a historical and unique letter, in his own handwriting, especially for Bein Hazmanim. BS"D Rosh Chodesh Av

Those who donate 72 to Kupat Ha'ir, they and all their family will be ensured of spiritual and physical protection during the days of Bein Hazmanim.

Maran Rav Kanievsky shlita will daven on behalf of all those who donate 72 dollars at the Kever of his father, The Steipler, on his yahrzeit – twenty third of Av $72

for ction prote the g durin ys a i l ho d


‫קו‬ ‫העפת‬ ‫יר‬


Living with the Times The Week In News

By Rabbi Pinchos Lipschutz

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

The Best That Can Be

Publisher of the Yated Ne’eman

For three weeks, we have been reminded daily of Jewish suffering throughout the ages. We have mourned the loss of the Botei Mikdosh and millions of Jews who have been tortured and killed throughout the centuries. For nine days, we acted as aveilim, full of sorrow and longing.

tling Jewish world we now know. As much as they had suffered, they were able to overcome depression and lead productive lives. They could have been forgiven had they been overwhelmed by grief, but that is not the Jewish way and it does not bode well for a healthy and fruitful life.

On Tisha B’Av, we dimmed the lights, shut out the world, and concentrated on sadness for twenty-four hours. We hummed along the sorrowful tune of Eicha, as we read the lamentations of Yirmiyohu, the way Jews have been doing for thousands of years. We read the Kinnos, dirges recounting so many Jewish tragedies.

Hashem cares for us, even in the darkest of days and most trying circumstances, He is there holding the hands of the faithful.

And then it all ends. We make Havdolah, break the fast, and it’s back to doing laundry and being happy once again. Before we know it, the music is playing, the barbecues are grilling, and sitting on the floor recedes as a distant memory. We don’t wallow in sadness. We don’t remain in a state of mourning. Our faith reminds us that Hashem is compassionate and all that happens to us is for a greater reason. The posuk (Vayikra 19:28) states, “Veseret lonefesh lo sitnu bivsorchem.” We are not to etch memorials into our skin for those who have passed. There is a time period allotted for mourning, and when that is over, we must gather ourselves and realize that nothing occurs by happenstance. The Creator runs the world and everything that happens is for a purpose. Though often times the reasoning eludes us, we maintain our belief that all that transpires is for the good. Thus, when the mourning period is over, we return to living life. That is how Jews went on living after the churban, the Inquisition, pogroms and the Holocaust, as well as following crushing personal losses. People who had lost all they had in the Holocaust were able to remarry, rebuild, and give birth to the bus-

This Shabbos, known as Shabbos Nachamu for the two words at the beginning of the haftorah, ushers in seven weeks of nechomah, when Hashem offers consolation. Many discuss the double incantation of the word nachamu, as prophesized by the novi Yeshayahu in his immortal statements that gladden the Jewish heart: “Nachamu nachamu ami yomar Elokeichem.”

on attaining both definitions of nechomah, comfort, brought on through proper perspective and the ability to reconsider. We accomplish this dual, unifying mission through the prism of the parshas hashovua. We achieve consolation, nechomah, by perfecting our perspective, nechomah. Hashem promises to assist us in achieving both definitions: nachamu, nachamu. Once again, we approach Shabbos Nachamu in an all-too-familiar place. The nations of the world are aligned against us as we attempt to live decent, honorable, peaceful lives. As we are forced to fight against evil, they chant in their capitals for our deaths. They hate us all. We can learn a lesson of ahavas Yisroel from observing the

Achdus is not just about lip service and Tisha B’Av videos and speeches. Real achdus needs to be our way of life.

Perhaps we can explain why the word nachamu is repeated by noting that nechomah, the Hebrew word for comfort, also means to reconsider, as seen in the posuk of “Vayinochem Hashem” (Bereishis 6:6), which describes Hashem reconsidering creating the world. We enter the season of nechomah intent

broad paintbrush they use to paint us all one color. Many survivors would comment that Hitler ym”sh taught them how to look at a Jew. Just as that wicked one and many such as he hated every Jew, without differentiating between external differences, the ones who survived their hell learned to love each Jew. When you love a person,

you make time and place for him, and that is how we should treat each other. Regardless of how they dress or daven, and even if they are not exactly the same as we are, we must love them and make time and room for them. Achdus is not just about lip service and Tisha B’Av videos and speeches. Real achdus needs to be our way of life. Throughout our history, we have encountered animosity. Although there have been times when the hatred was delicately covered up, currently it is becoming more in vogue and acceptable to bash Jews and Israel. With the ascendancy of the American leftists, it has once again become acceptable for celebrities, icons and politicians to express their open hatred. While they couch their rhetoric in words of sympathy for the poor Palestinians, the truth emanates. They hate Jews. Once again, Jews in Europe cower and seek escape routes, a chilling reminder of seventy-five years ago. Some anti-Semitism is depicted as anti-Zionism, though the folly is obvious. Jews fight for their safety and are condemned. Millions of Jews were driven to their deaths from those very countries in which they now don’t feel at home. Anti-Semitism morphs to fit with the times. The age-old hatred for the Jewish nation adopts different slogans and chants, but at the heart of it all is the same old hatred for Yitzchok by Yishmoel, and Yaakov by Eisov and Lavan. Whether it’s under the guise of blaming the Jews for poisoning the drinking water, spreading the plague, or drinking human blood, as in the days of old, or cloaked in humanitarian vestments as today, hate is hate. Today in Europe, a continent soaked with Jewish blood, it is once again in vogue to bash Jews and demonstrate against them. The eis tzorah is palpable in England, where Jews were burned alive; in Paris, where the Talmud was lit up and destroyed; in Germany, home of Kristallnacht and the Holocaust; Poland, home of the crematoria; Austria, birthplace of Hitler; and Washington, where FDR turned a blind eye to pleas to save Jews and ordered ships full of refugees to return to the inferno from which they escaped. We wonder how it will end. When will justice triumph? When will care and concern about the good and the kind be paramount?

Living with the The Week In Times News

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

We recognize that we suffer persecution and discrimination because we are Jews. The world’s hatred of the Jew is not derived from their concern about human rights violations or political decisions. We are reminded day after day that sinah yordah l’olam, hatred for the Jewish people descended to the world as we gathered at Har Sinai to accept the Torah. Since that time, we have been cast apart from other nations, despised, reviled, stomped upon and murdered. Miraculously, we endure. This Shabbos, we will go to shul and listen as the haftorah proclaims that Hashem calls out to us and says, “Nachamu nachamu Ami. Be comforted, be comforted, My nation.” We hear those words and wonder if, as next week’s haftorah states, “Vatomer Tzion azovani Hashem vaHashem shecheichoni - Hashem has forgotten about me.” How do we find answers to our questions? By learning this week’s parsha. We read the pesukim of Parshas Va’eschanon and see the answers spelled out for us repeatedly. The pesukim of this week’s parsha form a retrospective reminding us of the very beginnings of our nation and our first footsteps as the Chosen People. We feel along with Moshe Rabbeinu as he pleads for mercy. “Asher mi Keil - Who else is like You, Hashem?” he wonders (Devorim 3:24). Rashi explains that a king of flesh and blood is surrounded by advisors who question his merciful decisions, whereas Hashem can extend mercy without listening to others. There is a spark of nechomah. We read about the essence of life, “V’atem hadveikim baHashem Elokeichem chaim kulchem hayom,” and we feel a surge of hope. Life means connecting to Hashem, a little more intensity in tefillah, and more concentration when we sit by a Gemara (Devorim 4:3). We continue by listening closely to Moshe Rabbeinu’s reminder: “Mi goy gadol asher lo Elokim krovim eilov - Who else has this gift and ability that Hashem listens every time we cry out to Him?” (Devorim 4:7). Has Hashem performed such miracles for any other nation? Has He gone to war for them and inspired awe and terror like He has done for us? (Devorim 4:34). We study the Aseres Hadibros, which form the building blocks of our lives as

Torah Jews. We recognize that they set us apart from the rest of the world, and by following their precepts, we are placed on a higher, blessed plane. We study the words of “Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echod,” which comprise the bedrock of our faith. We go to sleep to those words, wake up to them and recite them in Shacharis, Arvis and Krias Shema Al Hamitah. They form the last physical action by souls ascending to heaven and are the enduring final message of martyrs throughout the generations. In posuk 6:18, we are taught how to live as ehrliche Yidden: “You should act honorably and be truthful; then Hashem will be good to you and will bring us into the land He swore to our forefathers and will drive away our enemies from confronting us.” If we seek Hashem’s protection and aid in battle, we must affirm our commitment to honesty and to battling corruption - not just listening but acting. If we tolerate men of ill-will and sometimes even promote them, how can we expect Hashem to fight for us? We read about how He will lead us into the Promised Land, where we will find homes filled with good. It is an attainable goal, assured to us by He who is “ne’eman leshaleim s’char.” If we follow the word of Hashem, as laid out in the pesukim of this week’s parsha, we know that we will merit salvation, prosperity and peace.

May we prove ourselves worthy of Hashem’s protection in a turbulent, unfriendly world. After studying this week’s pesukim and the promises they contain, how can we feel anything else but “Nachamu, nachamu Ami”? How can we not experience consolation? I am blessed with the zechus of having helped rescue Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin from the awful place he was in. Since his release, he has dedicated his life to speaking about emunah and bitachon and the role they play in our lives. Wherever he goes, Jews surround him and gather to hear his inspirational words. We speak often about various things. Once, Sholom Mordechai was talking about the day he received his final denial from the court. It was a statement from the justice system that his 27-year sentence would be served and no more appeals would be heard. Sholom Mordechai received the answer to his final appeal in the mail and said, “Gam zu letovah.” Somebody who doesn’t understand Hebrew was there and asked him to translate. He exclaimed with

a smile on his face, “It is the best it can be!” It was a declaration that he would have to spend the next 18-19 years in jail, but to him, it was the best that it could be, because Hashem willed it so. We often translate “Gam zu letovah” to mean that this is also good, but to a person of faith, facing a dismal future, is not also good, it is great. In fact, it is the best it can be. And in his case, as with all that transpires to us, it was the best that can be, because the very next day, he was miraculously let free by President Donald Trump. “Gam zu letovah.” Whatever experiences life throws at us, we are armed with the Torah’s enduring message of where we are going and how to get there. “Ohr chodosh al tzion to’ir.” Soon, a new light will shine over Zion and we will understand all that we have gone through. At that time, it will be evident that everything that happened was the very best. Nachamu, nachamu. Then and now. For the past and into the future. Forever and ever. It’s all the best that can be.


The founding of Israel and the Six Day War were undeniably turning points in our history, but people became enamored with the power of man and seemed to overlook the Hand of Hashem. We are sent regular reminders that if we forget the Divine role and Hand in our existence, we can expect to experience tragedy. We merit nechomah when we recognize that we are kachomer beyad hayotzeir, dependent upon Hashem’s mercy for our very existence. The posuk in Koheles (9:11) states, “Lo lachachomim lechem – The wise man can’t make a living.” The Kotzker Rebbe explained that if a person thinks that he is smart and has acquired his possessions because of his wisdom, Hashem says to him, “If you are so smart and don’t require My assistance, let us see how you can do on your own.” And the person begins to stumble. Parshas Va’eschanon and the Aseres Hadibros are always lained on Shabbos Nachamu. This is to remind us that our nechomah arrives when we follow the Aseres Hadibros and the Torah. It is only through fidelity to Torah and Hashem’s word that we merit living peacefully, in Eretz Yisroel and everywhere else.

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The Week In News

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

A zechus for parnasah, shiduchim, refuos & yeshuos







AUGUST 17-18 ‫יום היארצייט ו׳ אלול‬

‫שבת פ‘ שופטים‬ ‫לזכר נשמת תוספות יו״ט‬


For inspiration visit To request the ‫ מי שברך‬email ‫בזכות רפואה שלמה רינה בת חי' פעשא אסתר‬


Stop the Talking alking in Shul!

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The Week U In News

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home



Invitation.Poland Trip.indd 1

The Spirit Continues.

MAKE THE KABBALAH THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE Upon your kabbalah, as the first step in your appreciating and understanding tefillah, we will send you a beautiful

HARDCOVER ARTSCROLL SIDDUR which will include the Tosfos Yom Tov Mishaberach. Your kabbalah will change your life forever, and this Hebrew English Siddur will enhance your understanding of tefillah. To be mekabel your Artscroll Siddur, Please email your kabbalah to Please state your choice of Sfard or Ashkenaz.

~I am 󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼󰇼 da󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏󰉏 ~ My 󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔󰈔 un󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃󰉃

ENCOURAGE YOUR SHUL TO SAY THE TOSFOS YOM TOV'S ‫מי שברך‬ on this special Shabbos, and to continue throughout the year for an ongoing shmira.

Stop the Talking in Shul!

A zechus for parnasah, shiduchim, refuos & yeshuos


A CITICOM! EVENT 718.692.0999

SUBMIT NAMES FOR TEFILLOS AT THE TOSFOS YOM TOV’S KEVER: Email names and bakashos to They will be read at the Tosfos Yom Tov’s kever on his yahrzeit.



Torah Musings The Week In News

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Busting Modesty Myths Sarah Pachter

Modesty is a complicated topic, addressed all too often in a superficial way. Some suggest that it only needs to be practiced by one gender. It’s often assumed that practicing modesty involves merely clothing, that it’s intent is to diminish the value of women’s bodies. All of these suppositions miss the point of tzniut entirely. Let’s start by knocking down some of these misconceptions. Myth #1: Modesty is about clothing. Reality: Modesty is more about character. Myth # 2: It’s a mitzvah for women only. Reality: NOPE. Men are just as obligated to follow this mitzvah as women are. Myth # 3: It’s about bringing down a woman’s level of attraction. Reality: For many, it’s shocking to hear that this is simply not true. Not only does the world maintain these negative associations with tzniut, but even in our everyday English, the word “modesty” has a negative undertone. The phrase, “He is a man of modest means,” is a tactful way of saying he’s poor. Thus, modesty has the connotation of being less than something. Synonyms for “modest” include meek, lacking, and shy. Yet the Jewish vision of tzniut, commonly translated into English as modesty, is entirely different. After gathering various Torah sources and literature describing and defining modesty, I compiled the following working definition: Modesty is a character trait that is obligated equally by men and women that helps us reflect our Godliness, our

inner soul. In other words, it is about using discretion to reflect our neshama. Imagine the famous Mona Lisa has been transferred to a museum in America. An entire soirée has been planned around the moment it will first be displayed on the museum’s wall. Select invitations have been sent out to the upper echelons of society. Men in tuxedos and women in ballgowns fill the gallery, and waiters pass out champagne and hors d’oeuvres. An orchestra plays in the background. And the main attraction? Obviously, the treasured Mona Lisa itself. It’s draped in silk cloth, and everyone waits in anticipation for the moment it will be revealed. Right on schedule, the curator pulls back the cover and exposes the masterpiece. The removal of the cloth is met with a chorus of “Oohhs” and “Aahhs” From an attendee we hear, “Oh, it’s incredible,” and the critics use one word: “Stunning.” After a minute or two, you realize that

rather than noticing the work of art itself, everyone seems to be whispering about the beauty of the frame. It’s so intricate, so detailed. “I love the gold,” someone adds. “The frame?” The MC would respond. “The frame! Er...Ladies, gentlemen, this is the one and only Mona Lisa!” Realistically, this scenario would never happen—unless, of course, the frame was so large that one couldn’t even notice the painting. So imagine an eight inch by eight inch painting with a frame that is six feet by six feet, taking up the entire wall. Now, one might mistake the frame as the artwork rather than the painting inside. This analogy is the basis for Judaism’s view on modesty. Ideally, the frame and the painting should work in harmony. That is the body soul relationship. We are the soul, but all we see is body. There is so much more to you than what you own or what you do. If your body changes, you’re still you. You are a soul…but all we see is the outside frame. Modesty is toning down one’s exterior, reducing the bragging and extra bling so people are forced to look inward. Modesty is using discretion with our words and actions, which in turn forces those around us to look inward as well. But that certainly does not mean making ourselves unattractive. Just like using a six-foot frame for the Mona Lisa would be disproportionate to the inner art work, replacing it with a cheap IKEA frame would be equally distasteful. It is important to beautify ourselves and present our physical appearance to the world as right-sized and with dignity. The Torah itself is one of the holiest

and most powerful objects to the Jewish people. Yet, it is constantly hidden unless read from. It is often kept behind the doors of an aron and cloaked in layers of velvet or silver. Yes, despite the fact the Torah is hidden, it is dressed in beautiful outerwear. In fact, the more beautifully decorated, the greater the mitzvah! The concept of hiddur mitzvah allows for a great explanation what’s going on here. Anytime we beautify a mitzvah in Judaism, the beautification process is its own separate mitzvah! For example, walk into most homes for a Shabbos meal, and you will find a table laden with nice linen, a silver goblet, and a candelabra. Not only is it a mitzvah to keep Shabbos, it’s a mitzvah to beautify and enhance externally all that we use to fulfill the obligation. However, the point of the enhancement remains the process of blessing the wine and drinking it, not the materials used to do these things. Just as a kiddush cup is a vessel that should be beautified to fulfil the mitzvah of kiddush, so too our bodies are vessels that must be beautified to fulfill our life’s purpose. Both men and women are obligated to use discretion to act, speak, and dress in a dignified way that allows the onlooker to see not just their exterior, but the inner “Mona Lisa” inside. This is where balance comes in. We want a frame that is proportional, both in size and glitz. Our external appearance should be beautiful and respect our soul, but not outshine the ability of an onlooker to see our inner light. For more on modesty and how to strike that inner balance, stay tuned to next week’s article!

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home



The Week In News

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Generally speaking, my husband loves me—just not before 9 a.m. Why? Because I am a morning person. Fortunately for me, he only found out at 7 a.m. the day after our wedding. (Who knows what he would have done if he’d discovered the horrible truth earlier?) The alarm rang, he turned his head in my direction, and discovered I was already watching him, eagerly waiting for him to awake. Foolishly, I opened my mouth and said, “Good morning!” with all the perkiness of a cheerleader. Later, he would tell me that his first thought was, She talks to people in the morning! Talks to them and expects them to respond!?! What kind of monster did I marry? It went downhill from there. If my husband was running late to shul, I’d complain, which he informed me was rude, because, sure, it was easy for me to say it’s easy to get to minyan on time. I’m a morning person, and moreover since I have no requirement to pray with a minyan, I also have no yetzer hara dragging me back into the snug comforts of my Sealy Posterpedic. If I tried to “encourage” him rather than gripe (e.g. By pulling back the curtains and chirping, “Look, Honey! Isn’t it a beautiful morning!”), he’d accuse me of obnoxiousness. Eventually, we learned ways to overcome this hurdle. On most mornings, my husband is out the door before I have awakened, not because he wants to get up that early, but because otherwise, he’d be late for the only minyan he can finish and

arrive on time for work. By the time I am bouncing out of bed, switching on NPR, and making coffee, joyfully contemplating all my big plans for the day, he is safely surrounded by silent men deep in tefillah. If he comes home before work, I try to let him eat a few bites of breakfast before chatting him up. But right now, he’s on vacation. Our children have split into both camps. The eldest is firmly a night person, in part because he’s a teenager and thinks his bedtime is midnight no matter how often we remind him to be in bed at ten. Our nearly 11-year-old enjoys sleeping in during vacation. We have learned from experience that waking her prematurely results in the loss of limbs. The 9-year-old is usually chipper in the morning, so long as she remembers to eat breakfast. But she would rather read than talk to me. At 6:45 a.m., the only person who wants my company is my 13-year-old. And I’m afraid that as all those teenage hormones flood is brain in the coming months and years, he’ll abandon me, too. My poor husband takes one look at me in the morning, forces himself to say, “Hi!” and d the ives into bathroom. Since it’s nearly impossible for me to contain my good cheer, I’ve decided that the smartest thing to do is to just get out of the house. So, if you’ve spotted me at 6:45 or 7:15 a.m., running the streets of Beverlywood, you now know why. Well, that and if I run any later than that, I will melt. Because, you know, it’s summer.


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JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Scooters Are Everywhere! Are They Legal? Michael Rubinstein, Esq. Scooters: You’ve seen them. They’re all over the place. And every day, more and more of them are showing up out of nowhere. Scooters are making a comeback in a big way in Los Angeles and beyond. Bird Scooters, the startup recently valued at $2 billion, has its headquarters in Santa Monica, just a stone’s throw from Los Angeles. Bird and Lime Scooters are competing for your feet as you navigate the streets of Los Angeles. What many people probably don’t know is that strict laws govern the use of these electric scooters. My office has received calls about Los Angeles scooter accidents, and I’m concerned that many riders do not realize the risks they are taking and the rights they are waiving when they hop on. For example, Bird Scooter’s rental agreement requires the rider to certify that he/she is 18 years old. While this is not a problem in and of itself, I can personally attest that I’ve seen scores of teenagers younger than 18 riding around on scooters. If a rider under 18 is injured, you can bet that Bird will point the blame at the

rider for violating Bird’s rental agreement in this regard. I also wouldn’t put it past Bird to argue that sidewalk scooter accident claims should be barred because California law forbids motorized scooter riding on sidewalks. (More on that below.) Additionally, Bird’s rental agreement includes a liability waiver that every rider is supposed to read before using the scooter. The waiver releases Bird from any and all liability for injuries or death stemming from scooter use. I’m willing to bet that most riders do not read the agreement. While not reading the agreement is probably not a defense to electronically signing the agreement— which every rider must do before riding—I believe that thousands of people are riding these scooters unaware that they are waiving their right to hold Bird accountable for potential injuries sustained while riding the scooter. In the meantime, if you or someone you know is going to hop on a Bird or Lime Scooter, here are some laws that apply to operators of electric or motorized scooters in California.

1. HELMETS ARE REQUIRED. California Vehicle Code Section 21235 requires an operator of a motorized scooter to wear a helmet. Bird Scooter’s safety page encourages riders to wear them, but it doesn’t state that California law requires it. 2. DRIVER’S LICENSE IS REQUIRED. CVCS 21235 requires the operator of an electric scooter to maintain a valid California Driver license or instruction permit. 3. SIDEWALK RIDING IS ILLEGAL! This is a big one. 21235 makes it illegal to operate a motorized scooter on a sidewalk. The scooter must be used in

the bicycle lane. Note that this differs from bicycle riding on the sidewalk, which, depending on what city you’re in, could be lawful. 4. SPEED LIMITS Motorized scooters cannot be operated at speeds above 15 mph, and they cannot be operated on streets with speed limits above 25 mph. 5. NO RIDING WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL California Vehicle Code Section 21221.5 makes it illegal to operate an electric or motorized scooter while under the influence of alcohol. 6. CANNOT ABANDON SCOOTER ON SIDEWALK It’s illegal to leave a motorized scooter lying on its side on the sidewalk or parked in a way that impedes the flow of pedestrian traffic. As you can tell, many laws apply to scooter riders in California. My office will continue to monitor these developments, and I’m afraid we’ll also continue to receive calls about Los Angeles scooter accidents.

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JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

Emotional Health

The Secret of Personal Transformation

The Week In News

Going the extra mile!

Rabbi Dov Heller, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

What do you think is the secret of personal transformation? Here are two scenarios which suggest possible answers. Cynthia, 42 years old, has been a heavy smoker since she was a teenager. She knows how dangerous smoking is to her health, yet nothing has helped her kick the habit. Then, one day, she reads an anatomy book about the lungs, how they work, and how smoking damages them. What most captivates her are the pictures comparing healthy lungs to cancerous lungs—the repellent images generate a visceral reaction. From that very moment she never touches another cigarette. Robert grew up with two verbally abusive parents. By the time he was ten, his self-worth was all but non-existent, and the intensity of his shame had become unbearable. Everything in life was an uphill battle. He became more hopeless and depressed as the years wore on. He was fortunate to find a therapist in high school that he connected with. After five years of psychoanalytic therapy, he had a breakthrough. He walked out of the session with absolute clarity: his parents’ picture of him was no longer the only picture that he had to accept. He felt empowered from that day onward to define himself on his terms. He took ownership of his life and his life improved in every way. Friends couldn’t believe the transformation that had taken place. The common denominator of these two transformational scenarios—and of every experience of personal transformation provided by a life coach, therapist, counselor, friend, teacher, rabbi, healer, or self-help book—is an embodied shift in perspective. I recently met a “spiritual healer” on a plane. I asked him, “So what is the essence of what brings about healing and transformation?” He answered, “I blow people’s minds.” Upon further inquiry, he explained that this means people gain an expanded state of consciousness. In other words, their perspective expands, not just intellectually, but emotionally.

Think about it. Is it not true that any significant change in your life has come about because you gained a new, more expansive perspective? Intellectual realizations alone, like reframing, often do not bring about complete transformation. Why? Because they are not emotionally embodied. Lasting transformation only happens when the mind and the body are integrated. When our perceptions expand, our experiential horizons expand. And when our perspective changes, our behavior changes as well, as we see with Cynthia, when her perception about smoking changed her behavior changed automatically and dramatically. If you are feeling stuck, it means you are probably trapped in a limiting and constricting perspective that may lie outside your conscious awareness. The reason for this is that human beings are constantly making meaning of their experiences. Much of this meaning making activity is done unconsciously. Because of this unconscious organizing process, we are likely to be living with unconscious paradigms, that are actively impacting the way we perceive ourselves, others, and the world. How does one change an unconscious perspective? The most effective way to bring the unconscious into consciousness in order to gain a new perspective is by interacting with another person. The Talmud says, “The prisoner cannot free him/herself from their prison.” We often need another person to unlock the prison door. Sometimes talking to a friend or family member is all we need to gain a new perspective. But sometimes, when our limiting perspectives are deeply engrained in our minds and body and not fully conscious, we may need professional help in order to free us from our mental prisons. Dov Heller is in private practice offering psychotherapy and personal mentoring for individuals and couples. He can be contacted at You may also visit his website at





The Week In News

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News

JULY 26, 2018 | The Jewish Home


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