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The Week In News


JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home



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JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News



The Week In News



Community Happenings. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

JEWISH THOUGHT Maybe, Maybe. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Ten Habits of Self-Made Millionaires: Torah in Disguise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 The Weekly Daf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Division at the Kotel is No Path to Unity. . . . . . . . . 18

FEATURE Jewish Heroes of the Holocaust. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

LIFESTYLES Book Review. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Quotes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Proactive Parenting: Dipping into their Bag of Tricks. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Ask the Attorney. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37


Israel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24




JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Dear Readers, I’ve recently come across the book The Righteous among the Nations, published by Yad Vashem. It includes the details of about 150 stories of non-Jews who risked their lives to save a Jew – or many Jews – during the Holocaust. What really blew me away was that each of these people had every good reason to go on with their lives, maybe saying a prayer and wishing things were different, but otherwise focusing on their families and surviving the chaos of the war years. In fact, some might have argued to them that they had no right risking their lives and the lives of their families to save, in most cases, total strangers. In September of 1942, during the mass deportation of the Warsaw Ghetto to the Treblinka killing centers, the following was posted all over Warsaw: Death Penalty for Aid to Jews who have left the Jewish residential areas without permission. Recently, many Jews have left their designated Jewish residential areas. For the time, they are in the Warsaw District. I remind you that according to the Third Decree of the General Governor’s concerning the residential restrictions in the General Government of 10/15/1941 (VBL; abbreviation for Verordnungsblatt Generalgouvernement, p. 595) not only Jews who have left their designated residential area will be punished with death, but the same penalty applies to anyone who knowingly provides refuge (a hiding place) to such Jews. This includes not only the providing of a night’s lodging and food, but also any other aid, such as transporting them in vehicles of any sort, through the purchase of Jewish valu-

ables, etc. I ask the population of the Warsaw District to immediately report any Jew who resides outside of a Jewish residential area to the nearest police station or gendarmerie post. Whoever provided or currently provides aid to a Jew will not be prosecuted if it is reported to the nearest police station by 4 pm on 9/9/42. Indeed, families were hung together for helping Jewish neighbors. At times whole communities were killed because they had shielded too many Jews… One never knew if a neighbor with a grudge would tell or if someone desperate for bread would give their info to the police. No one knew who they could trust. By the time the war was over an estimated 50,000 Poles were killed for helping Jews. Who were these people? Did they always stand out? Would you be able to tell who the “typical rescuer” was? It seems most were regular people who simply couldn’t watch the suffering of another human being/s and had to do something about it. Many didn’t consider their actions heroic. In fact, the majority went back to leading regular average lives after the war and their actions were unknown for many years. Each one of these heroes deserve the Jewish people’s everlasting gratitude, and indeed Maimonides rules that all righteous gentiles will arise at the time of techiyas hameisim and have a share in the World to Come. Only then will they get their complete and deserving reward for showing the best of humanity when the rest of the word was showing its worst. Wishing you a wonderful and inspiring Shabbos,


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The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home



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The Week In News


JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home


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A Visitor from Dharamshala, India: a Chabad Shaliach’s Miraculous Journey Tova Abady

Rabbi Dror Shaul was the special guest lecturer at Chai Center’s bi-weekly lunch and learn series for the entertainment industry, held on July 14th in Century City. The series, usually led by Rabbi Mendel Schwartz, previously featured L.A.’s beloved Schwartzie as well as other popular speakers. Rabbi Shaul dedicated his presentation to Shwartzie’s memory. Rabbi Shaul and his family manage the Dharamkot Chabad House in Northern India where an astounding 60,000 individuals come though their doors. Their goal is to unite fellow Jews and give them a warm, loving atmosphere. Many come for Shabbat and for the kosher restaurant. Courses between one and twelve weeks in length are given in kabbalah, psychology, and meditation. Students are greatly inspired by kabbalistic, esoteric Chassidic teachings. Among the young travelers who come looking for a spiritual experience are an estimated 20,000 Jews annually, mostly Israelis who consider travel almost a “rite of passage” between completion of military service and entrance into civilian life. In fact, Dharamkot Village which overlooks the hill town has been referred to as “The Tel Aviv of the Hills.” Young Israelis help the economy and are warmly welcomed into Himalayan homes. Sadly, some never return home. Others get lost and join the rampant drug culture. Thankfully, thousands have been influenced by the Shaul family. The Shauls became permanent schluchim for the Lubavicher Rebbe in the year 2000, when they founded the Chabad house at the foot of the Himalayan mountain range. They have since expanded with a branch in the nearby village of Bhagsu, and they also have a center in Rehovot, Israel. The Chabad House has become the address to seek refuge for travelers who are tired from the arduous journey, or looking for food and shelter in an area where most amenities are primitive. Rabbi Shaul recounted an amazing story about being contacted on Shabbat because a trekker had fallen down the mountain and there was no one else to call outside of Chabad. Within minutes, a rescue team was organized By Rabbi Shaul and they proceeded in the dark on an arduous climb up the mountain. The Rabbi said he would not have to been able to lead without his emergency training as a paratrooper in the Israeli army. He was able to administer an IV infusion because he had practiced many times as an army medic, but this was the first time using it in a real crisis.

Dharamkot Chabad House

Rabbi Shaul related his personal story and how he came to be a Chabad shaliach. Like many of the travelers, the rabbi was raised in Israel in a secular environment and had no connection to his Jewish roots. He came as a young man to Dharamshala and started attending a monastery. There were many signs that he should return home to Israel but it wasn’t until a German man (the least likely person he thought to instruct him) said that as a Jew he belonged in Jerusalem to learn kabbalah that Rabbi Shaul returned home to Israel. He said that he arrived with long hair and Indian garb and surprised his family by saying he was going to the Kotel. Rabbi Shaul had no idea it was Shavuot, and he arrived at the Kotel just as thousands of people gathered to hear birkat kohanim. He realized that the garb worn by the kohanim was holier than the garb he had seen and worn in India. This experience was the beginning of Rabbi Shaul’s Torah learning. Eventually, he believed that the best way for him to bring the light of Torah to people was to establish a center in Dharamshala. Rabbi Shaul spoke about how his wife is a true eishet chayil to work alongside him for 17 years of amazing shlichus with all the challenges and difficulties. Rabbi Shaul led the Chai Center class in a powerful meditation which involved exhaling all ones breath and asking Hashem to give you another as well as a new beginning. Not to be missed: Rabbi Shaul will be coming back to L.A. in November and will be offering what promises to be an amazing kabbalah course. For more information and to register, contact Rabbi Shaul on What’s App (972-547-888-770).

TheHappenings Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Fearless, Without Regret: Celebrating the Life of Bracha Friedman Graber, z”l Elizabeth Kratz Bernie and Bracha Graber visiting Portofino, Italy, in April 2015. (Photo courtesy of the Graber family)

Bracha Friedman Graber, formerly of Riverdale, New York, and more recently of Sherman Oaks, California, passed away two Wednesdays ago of complications from lung cancer. But her joie de vivre and love for family were obvious till the end. “Bracha lived more in 68 years than most people live in 120,” her husband, Bernie Graber said. Anyone who ever met Bracha knew that she lived life to its fullest, had no regrets, and traversed the earth with an air of youth and a spring in her step. I first met Bracha Graber in Spain in April 2006. I was still single at the time, and I was traveling with my similarly single friend Cathy. We had, adventurously, joined a Pesach program at Costa Brava. Bracha was sitting at a table with Bernie and new friends she had just met – Gary, a British widower, with his then 18 year old son, Joshua – and she invited us to join them. The six of us then spent the rest of the trip enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells of Catalonia and Girona together. I spent a memorable day in Barcelona with Bracha, visiting offbeat haunts, including an old mikvah that could be accessed only by entering a candle store and inquiring to see the “antiquities” in the basement, and shopping for handmade espadrilles at a store famous for its celebrity client, Pope Benedict, who always stopped in for a pair before his summer holidays. These offbeat places in exotic locales were the kinds of things Bracha knew about and took great pleasure in, everywhere she went. The camaraderie and friendship we began that Pesach didn’t end with the trip, because we all danced together the following January at the wedding of Cathy and Gary, who this year celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary. “Each one of us had reasons we almost didn’t go to that Pesach program, and we all felt that it was truly bashert that we found each other,” said Cathy. I remember meeting Bracha once with Cathy at the now-closed Nargila Grill on West 72nd Street in Manhattan, and hearing Bracha exchange a comment with her soon-to-be daughter-in-law, Lani, about “the lawsuit.” What was this, I asked? “Oh, I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m a private person. If you really want to know, Google my name and The New York Times when you get home,” she suggested. (At that same dinner, Lani recalled we were having such a wonderful time that another table’s occupants nearby asked us to stop laughing so loudly.) When I got home I did an internet

search and then called Cathy. “You will never believe this. Bracha was a whistleblower in a $49 million lawsuit brought by the federal government against the New York City and State Child Welfare Agency. She won. She got $4.9 million as her award under the whistleblower law,” I told Cathy. We were both astonished, since the Bracha we knew was an enthusiastic bargain hunter who frequently shared news of her amazing finds at both Costco and small boutiques in far-flung countries. We learned later that the windfall mostly went to lawyers and a foundation that Bracha set up to provide supplemental music and art lessons to children in the foster system, and whatever was left over mainly went to financing her sons’ educations. The lawsuit, we noted with surprise, had a major impact on New York City and caused a complete overhaul of the foster care system. Bracha had charged that New York fraudulently collected hundreds of millions of dollars between 1990 and 1994 for foster care services that were not provided. A true sabra, born in Israel in December 1948, Bracha had the requisite moxie to do her job without forgetting the children at stake behind the maze of bureaucracy that was the New York foster system of the early 1990s. She worked in the foster care system for 28 years, and managed to keep her job even after her lawsuit, though she and Bernie decamped from Riverdale to Sherman Oaks, California, 18 years ago. For much of the last two decades they were on the road, with Bracha joining Bernie as he worked on multiple continents in retail restructurings. It would not be unreasonable to say that Bracha made lifelong friends in every port-of-call along the way; I can only be glad to have been one of them. Bracha also shared her love of travel, and life, with her family. She spoke to her sons – Michael of Teaneck, New Jersey, and Daniel of Hartsdale, New York – their wives Caren and Lani frequently, weighing in on everything from work dilemmas to childcare arrangements, from recipes to vacations to car purchases. Even though she lived in Los Angeles, Bracha was always willing to fly in on a moment’s notice to babysit. “Who else has a mother-in-law who insists on flying across the country to babysit so Michael and I can take a trip?” Caren asked. She always made sure to be in New Jersey for school “Grandparents Days” and for birthday celebrations. Bracha loved taking her grandchildren to Broad-

way shows and, less than two months ago, was on the Great White Way with Noah, 6, for his first show. Michael and Caren and their family often visited Bernie and Bracha in Los Angeles; every time, Bracha would take the kids to Disneyland, including one visit where she spent four days on a Disney marathon with granddaughters Talia and Arielle. While waiting for Ben, 4, and Max, almost 2, to be old enough for one of her beloved Broadway shows, she sang showtunes with them, took them to playgrounds, and put together endless puzzles. In addition to her husband, children, and grandchildren, Bracha is survived by her sister, Tova Friedman of Manhattan, and brother, Avi Friedman of Cedarhurst, New York. “She won every battle, but lost the war,” Bernie told me. While she had survived breast cancer 20 years ago and had scans every six months, the doctors discovered she had Stage 3 lung cancer last

year. Bracha and Bernie traveled the world again, this time seeking new therapies and working with the best doctors they could find, to determine the right protocols. “The trouble was, the tumor did not adhere to protocol,” Bernie said. “She was truly an eishes chayil. She fought cancer and would not let the damned thing win.” Almost immediately after finishing a brutal round of six chemotherapy and 30 radiation treatments, Bracha took off for Moscow and then Israel, where she joined the Yom Yerushalayim celebrations, with Michael and Daniel. Bernie has put plans into place to work on behalf of the Lung Cancer Foundation of America, and focus on early detection. To make a donation on behalf of Bracha Graber, z”l, please visit http://lcfamerica. org/. Elizabeth Kratz is the editor of The Jewish Link of New Jersey. This article is reprinted with permission.


TheHappenings Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Makor HaChaim of Encino holds Annual Dinner Mordechai Lipman

This past week, shul members, rabbis, and friends of Makor HaChaim of Encino came to celebrate eight years of community growth and unity. The evening’s program was emceed by Mr. Gary Pietruszka.

Makor HaChaim, after less than a decade in existence, continues to grow and flourish. The shul environment embodies the teachings of Torah, as they relate to our generation and its unique challenges. This year’s Annual Dinner

Jonah Light Photography


was a true testimony to their refreshing approach. Makor HaChaim is fortunate to have as its Rav and Founder, Rabbi Dovid Horowitz. His down-to-earth and practical approach to the wisdom of the Torah has been inspiring the Jewish community of Encino for nearly a decade. Having grown up in Los Angeles, with the fusion of yeshiva and kollel in Israel and later in Ner Yisrael of Baltimore, Rabbi Horowitz understands the audience he is speaking to, allowing the penetrating messages of the Torah to connect to them with great relevance for our generation. His poignant words and energetic delivery can be heard on Shabbos, yom tov, or during the week, through his numerous classes, drashos, and lectures. The theme of the evening was “Olam chessed yibaneh – the world is built with acts of kindness.” As Rabbi Dovid Horowitz remarked in his keynote address, “Each and every Jew is a world unto themselves. When we take the time and effort to be sensitive to the needs of others and to provide them with what they are lacking, we are building worlds that will live on for generations to come.” With this message in mind, Rabbi Horowitz introduced this year’s honorees, Mr. and Mrs. Robert & Randy Weiser, who received The Chesed Award, for their selfless acts of chessed. The Weisers have been a key part to the success and warm atmosphere of Makor HaChaim. Their exemplary ways have inspired their friends, family and community to increase their own personal acts of kindness as well. As Mr. Weiser intimated to the crowd, “Chessed is not merely an obligation, rather, it’s a way of life. If we would all do just a little more chessed each day, imagine how much greater the Jewish People would be.” As the evening drew to a close – the warmth, sincerity, and love of Torah, of mitzvos and of Klal Yisroel was tangible, leaving those in attendance spiritually uplifted and empowered to accomplish even more for themselves and their community.

‫בס’’ד‬ The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Tisha B’Av Schedule


Monday Night July 31st 8:11pm Fast Begins 8:55pm Maariv/Eicha 9:45pm Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein As the Dawn of Moshiach Approaches Tuesday August 1st 11am-12pm Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein Kinos 12:15pm-1pm Rabbi Label Lam The Light at the End of the Tunnel 1:15pm-2pm Charlie Harary Reconnecting with Our Father 2:15pm-3pm Rabbi Duvi Bensoussan Loneliness vs. the Need to Be Great 3:15pm The Secrets of Emunah: How It Will Transform Your Life, Your Challenges, and Your Relationships Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation Video B Rabbi Eli Mansour, Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein, Rabbi David Ashear 5:15pm-6pm Mrs. Chaya (Ivy) Kalazan Machlokes and Shalom - Inside and Out 6:15pm The Secrets of Emunah: How It Will Transform Your Life, Your Challenges, and Your Relationships Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation Video A Dayan Aron Dovid Dunner, Rabbi Ephraim E. Shapiro, Rabbi David Ashear 8:15pm-9pm Rabbi Shmuel Skaist Where Do We Go from Here? 9:00pm Fast Ends !‫לשנה הבאה בירושלים‬ $18 for the night program, $18 for the Day Program, $25 for both Night & Day Participation *The Chofetz Chaim video is a SEPARATE fee of $15 made out to CCHF (includes Viewing of One or Both Videos) **Please note: The shul will be davening Mincha at 2PM & 7:35PM. Maariv will be at 8:15PM

LOCATION: 2201 East 23rd Street (corner of Ave V), Brooklyn, NY 11229 718.Ohr Naava (718.647.6228) ∙

Can’t Make It? If you are unable to attend, you can view all the shiurim


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TheHappenings Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Kollel Chatzos Arrages Ketores Segulah on Arizal’s Yahrtzeit at His Kever Communicated are done they will continue with their nightly program of Torah study and prayer in Meron as usual. The actual Ketores Segulah follows the precise formula recorded in the name of the Arizal, beginning with the portion of the ketores, followed by the posuk “Vayaas es Hamenorah” three times, chapter “Veyihi Noam” seven times and other pesukim recited forward and backward. At

Kollel Chatzos is preparing for the auspicious day of the Arizal’s yahrtzeit by organizing a minyan to recite the Arizal’s Ketores Segulah at his kever on that midnight. The names of all sponsors and their entire families will be mentioned by the kollel members who will participate in this momentous occasion. Monday night, the 5th of Av (July 27th), marks the yahrtzeit of the Arizal, who exposed the depth of kabbalah. Among the many secrets he revealed is the Ketores Segulah. As recorded by his appointed disciple, Rabbi Chaim Vital, in Shaar Hakavanos (Drushei Tefilas Shacharis 3), the Arizal stated, “If a minyan of pious Jews will gather after midnight and they will recite the special Ketores Segulah together with concentration, it will definitely make a deep impression and whatever they ask for will be accomplished in Heaven!” The Zohar says that those who rise at midnight to study Torah have the power to “decree below and their words are carried out above.” Now the members of Kollel Chatzos – Meron are preparing to daven on our behalf at the kever of the Arizal on the night of his yahrtzeit, especially by reciting his Ketores Segulah with deep concentration. Ketores Segulah, Tzfas – 5th of Av, 5777 The schedule for the Ketores Segulah recital at the kever of the Arizal on the night of the anniversary of his passing is as follows: The members of Kollel Chatzos – Meron will arise before midnight in Tzfas and prepare for their nightly study ritual. Before heading to their beis medrash at the kever of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai in Meron, they will first stop to visit the kever of the Arizal in the ancient cemetery of Tzfas. There they will perform the Ketores Segulah with deep concentration as prescribed by the Arizal, followed by the recital of the names of all of the sponsors who have signed up and their families. When they

the conclusion a special prayer is recited and this is accompanied by the names of the many sponsors. As an additional incentive, Kollel Chatzos is making a special offer this year: Whoever signs up for the Ketores Segulah on the Arizal’s yahrtzeit will also have his name and those of his family mentioned at Kollel Chatzos – Meron during the nightly recitation of the Ketores Segulah for an

entire year! Ask about this offer when you call to sign up for the Ketores Segulah. Call the central office of Kollel Chatzos today to ensure your name is included in this year’s Ketores Segulah: 718-8879114: Experience the yeshuah you have been praying for!


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The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Young Professionals Summer


Thursday August 3rd 7:30pm

At the home of Gila & Yitzy Katz Greetings from Rabbi Gideon Shloush, RZA-Mizrachi National Director and Dr. Ernest Agatstein, RZA-Mizrachi Co-President

Featuring Music Sensation: Moshav Band

Sponsored by Dr. and Dr. Yakov and Ariella Agatstein Mr. and Mrs. Jack and Batya Cate Mr. and Mrs. Zev and Na’amit Nagel Mr. and Mrs. Jacob and Shoshana Polevoy Dr. and Mrs. Dovi and Naomi Prero Mr. and Mrs. Benny and Shira Rosenberg Mr. and Mrs. Phillip and Jennifer Wintner

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Living with In theNews Times The Week

By Rabbi Pinchos Lipschutz Publisher of the Yated Ne’eman

It was back when the iron-horse railroad was coming to Russia and the transportation ministry planned to lay thousands of miles of track upon which trains would crisscross the giant country. When the plans were publicized, chassidim discovered that they called for a track directly over the kever of the Baal Hatanya. Alarmed, they sent a delegation to the minister of transportation and appealed to him. They arrived for the meeting and pleaded their case. “Maybe you don’t appreciate what a rebbe means to us, so allow us to explain. He is more than a teacher and a guide. He represents life itself.” The minister cut them off. “You don’t have to explain it to me. My brother and my father are religious. In fact, I was also religious until I was seventeen years old. I know what a rebbe is and what he means to you.” The delegation was shocked and thought that they were about to catch a lucky break, but then the man continued talking. “I was in yeshiva, when I decided that I wanted to join the Russian army. I became fixated with it. I didn’t want to give up religion; I just wanted to become a soldier. My father was worried that I would lose my connection to Yiddishkeit and begged me not to go, but nothing he said impressed me. “My father was a Stoliner chossid. In a last-ditch effort, he asked me to go with him to the rebbe [Rav Shlomo Karliner, whose yahrtzeit was on Sunday]. I obliged. We entered the rebbe’s room. The rebbe appeared to be on fire, his face radiant and his eyes alight, totally connected to Hashem. The force of holiness was so strong that my father could not open his mouth to speak for the first few minutes. Finally, he gathered his courage and told the rebbe of my intentions to join the military, how I refused to listen, and his fears that I would become a goy. “The rebbe’s face grew red, his coun-

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Maybe, Maybe tenance aflame, hot tears streaming down his face as he turned to me and begged, ‘Efsher doch, efsher doch. Maybe, maybe [you’ll change your mind].’ “I turned him down and went to the army, and as you see, I am so far gone, you didn’t dream that I knew what a rebbe is. I know the power of a rebbe, and every time I do an aveirah, those pleading words of the rebbe ring in my ears. ‘Efsher doch, efsher doch.’” It’s the Three Weeks, the time we mourn the destruction of the Bais Hamikdosh. We mourn that we are in golus. Our enemies gang up on us and we hear those

despite the opportunities for growth, they would be lacking the identity that comes with having a rebbi and would forget who they are and where they came from. They felt that since Moshe was buried in Eiver HaYardein, staying there would maintain their connection to who they are meant to be. Rightly or wrongly, they preferred being rooted outside the Promised Land to feeling rootless within the sacred embrace of Eretz Yisroel. While some may not agree with the premise of the thought, it goes to the heart of the challenges we have faced throughout the long golus. People have found it

Efsher doch, efsher doch. May this be the year. words, “Efsher doch, efsher doch,” ringing in our ears. Maybe this will be the year we fix ourselves and make our way back. Efsher doch, efsher doch. Maybe this will be the year we will be set free and get to go home. The sick will be healed, the abused comforted, and the homeless will be back at home in the land that is ours. The posuk states, “Umikneh rav hayah livnei Gad velivnei Reuven” (Bamidbar 32:1). The children of shivtei Gad and Reuven did not want to join the rest of Klal Yisroel to continue on to Eretz Yisroel, the land they and their forefathers had been yearning to reach for hundreds of years. Why were they so connected to the land of Eiver HaYardein? The rebbe of Peshischa interprets the words “mikneh rav” homiletically as a reference to the “kinyan” bond of these shevotim with their “rav,” their mentor and rebbi who had led them over the past few decades. They worried that in Eretz Yisroel,

difficult to remember who we are and where we come from, where we are headed and what our mission is. Sometimes, the stresses and distractions of everyday living threaten to overtake and engulf us and we forget. Megillas Esther (2:5-6) introduces us to Mordechai by stating, “Ish yehudi haya b’Shushan habirah ushemo Mordechai ben Yair ben Shimi ben Kish ish Yemini. Asher hugla m’Yerushalayim. There was a Jewish man by the name of Mordechai, son of Yair, son of Shimi, son of Kish, from the tribe of Binyomin (see Megillah 12b and Rashi), who had gone into exile from Yerushalayim.” Who was he? A Jew, who followed in the ways of his father, grandfather and great-grandfather, with the traditions of shevet Binyomin. He never forgot who he was. And he never forgot where he came from. He was an exile, a survivor of the churban, who longed to return home, no

matter how comfortable his golus experience was. Rav Michel Twerski told of a distinguished chassidic rebbetzin, a child of great tzaddikim, who was confused towards the end of her life. Once, when a hospital aide asked her for her name, the rebbetzin was experiencing a difficult moment. She replied, “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Then, she sat up straight and, with all her dignity, she continued, “But I do know whose I am.” We go to Eretz Yisroel and traverse the Holy Land, tear kriah at the sites of the churban, stand at the Kosel and imagine what was and what will be, and daven at the kever of the avos, imahos and Rochel Imeinu. We feel their presence and beseech Hashem to help us in their merit. We walk on the derech ha’avos, where our forefathers trekked to Yerushalayim to be oleh regel and go to Shilo, the site of the Mishkon before the construction of the Bais Hamikdosh. And wherever we go, a chill runs down our spine. We feel connected to who we are and where we come from. At great expense, people travel to the alter heim in the countries of Lithuania, Hungary, Poland, Belarus, Romania, Serbia, Slovakia, Croatia, Germany and elsewhere. They visit the old botei medrash, shuls, yeshivos and cemeteries to remember where they come from and what their mission is. The struggle in golus is remembering who we are and hearing the call of “efsher doch,” reminding us that maybe we can find the way back to where we belong. In the early nineteenth century, the government eased restrictions on Pressburg’s Jews, allowing them rights of residence. Many rejoiced, but the Chasam Sofer became worried. “Why is our Father making us more comfortable in an alien land? Why isn’t He making us welcome at home, in His house?” he asked. Every year, as we bentch Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av, the cheerful blessing generates bittersweet emotion. A new month usually brings smiles and hopes for a fresh start. But this Shabbos, as we recognize that a new month is about to dawn, the fact that it is Av, with its undertones of melancholy, causes our hearts to sink. The period of national sadness begins on the 17th day of Tammuz, increases with the start of Chodesh Av, and peaks on Tisha B’Av. Throughout our history, the first week of Av has seen wrenching, catastrophic events for the Jewish people. That legacy of sorrow and disaster continues. It’s

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a sadness shrouded in this rootlessness, a sense that things are not as they should be and we are not where we should be. As we enter Chodesh Av, we wonder what we can do to reverse that cycle and when it will end. Our search for a ray of hope begins with the awareness that the root of all our sadness and misery is the churban Bais Hamikdosh. We reflect on the Gemara in Maseches Yoma (9b) that teaches that the first Bais Hamikdosh was destroyed because we did not properly observe the halachos of avodah zora, gilui arayos and shefichas domim. The Gemara says that at the time of the destruction of the second Bais Hamikdosh, the Jews were proficient in Torah and gemillus chassodim. What brought about that churban was sinas chinom. We’ve heard it so many times, but apparently we need to continue hearing that since sinas chinom caused the churban, the final redemption cannot occur until we have all repented for that sin, cleansing ourselves of the senseless hatred that seems to accompany the Jewish people wherever we are. The parshiyos that we lain this Shabbos, Mattos and Masei, are always read during the period of the Three Weeks. They deal with the connection of the Jewish people to Eretz Yisroel. We are connected to that land not only as a nation, but also as individuals. Chodesh Av is about connection. It is about a relationship that was severed, to ultimately be renewed. We are working towards returning to our cheilek in Eretz Yisroel. The parshiyos contain the seeds of our geulah; lessons for us to improve our behavior in golus in order to merit our share in Eretz Yisroel. Parshas Mattos begins with the laws of nedorim and shavuos, different types of vows and promises a person makes, and the obligation “not to defile your words and to do whatever you said you would” (30:3). In our society, words are cheap. They are thrown around aimlessly and carelessly, sometimes in a bid to impress and sometimes just to pass time. In the Twitter generation, everything is superficial, most of all words. They are conduits used to express thoughts and feelings that contain facile meaning and no depth. Little thought goes into what is said, or written, and therefore words carry no weight. But we know that words are so much more than that. Words are life itself. There was a time when people valued

written and spoken words, when they perceived the inherent value of every utterance. They were people of depth who appreciated the meaning of words. Their words carried weight, and were honored. We are quickly losing that. In our society, words should have meaning. Meaning also has to have meaning. We should not be focusing on external values, such as financial worth, supposed status and impressions. We must not be superficial. The world is too dangerous a place for us to act without information and without thought. Too often, we express opinions and act based on feelings and not facts, emotions and not intellect. To do so is folly and can have drastic consequences. Words affect us and other people. To end the golus and help rebuild the Bais Hamikdosh, we should think before we speak and ensure that our speech is neither hurtful nor insulting. Once, in midst of a telephone conversation with Reb Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin, the line was suddenly disconnected, another reality for those unfortunate souls in our federal correctional system. They wait on line for a chance to place a phone call, and then their connection to the outside world goes dead. I felt bad for him and went back to what I was doing. For him, it was a bigger deal. The next day, we reconnected. He said that when the line went dead, he was very sad. “I was waiting to talk to you, and when I finally got through, you were gone and I was alone again.” I asked how he gets over those feelings and remains in good spirits. He matter-of-factly responded, “When we got disconnected, I was sad, so I ran to my Gemara and began learning. Torah lifts me up. Learning Torah makes me happy.” The power of words. A man isolated from family and friends, deprived of a connection to his loved ones, Reb Sholom Mordechai is sad because of a conversation cut short. When cut off from those treasured words of love, he finds comfort in the holy words of the Torah and comes alive once again. Words have the power to break and the power to repair. Words heal and words sicken. Words bring people together and words separate people. The words we use have lasting repercussions. The Stoliner Rebbe’s efsher doch and the potency of his holy words live on. And sometimes, when a tzaddik speaks, the inherent sincerity can melt a soul too. A young man, a child of Gerrer chassidim, survived the horrors of World War II with

his body intact but his faith shattered. He was done with religion. He became friendly with a girl he met and became engaged to her. He bumped into the man who had been his mashgiach when he was in yeshiva, the prominent Gerrer chossid, Rav God’l Eisner. The former chossid informed the mashgiach that he was engaged and that the young woman wasn’t Jewish. Rav God’l smiled and said to the survivor, “Mazel Tov. Wonderful.” He shook hands with the former student and then quietly, quickly added, “Ubber fort, ess past nist fahr ah Gerrer chossid. What you are planning to do is unbecoming for a Gerrer chossid.” The words struck the young man’s heart with the force of a hammer’s blow. The words triggered introspection and with time he remembered who he was and where he came from. As we complete the laining of the parshiyos this week, we exclaim together,

“Chazak chazak venischazeik.” We cry out a resounding message to each other and to ourselves. We repeat a word that is laden with power: Chazak. Be strong. With that, we complete another sefer in our march towards the Torah’s conclusion. We internalize the chapter of the Bnei Yisroel’s passage through the midbar and try to learn the lessons that this seder has presented, so that we may be strong and strengthened. We say chazak. Study the words of the Torah and you will be strong. Share the words of the Torah and you will be strengthened. Say it together again and again. Appreciate the power of words and use them properly. Make the ikkar the ikkar and the tofel the tofel. Remember what our priorities are. In every decision, as you contemplate your various considerations, remind yourself of your identity. Efsher doch, efsher doch. May this be the year.


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JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Ten Habits of Self-Made Millionaires: Torah in Disguise Sarah Pachter

Author Thomas C. Corley spent five years studying the habits of 177 self-made millionaires. Coining them “rich habits,” he subsequently described practices he believes will determine how successful a person will become. Corley argues that by seeing a person’s habits, one can predict with great accuracy his or her likelihood of financial success. Based on his studies, Corley claims that habits can dictate not only one’s level of wealth, but one’s levels of happiness, satisfaction in relationships, and overall health. The good news is that habits can be changed and formed at any age in life. As I began reading through the habits, I could not help but see them in the millionaires that I personally know. And not only this, but on a deeper level, I realized that every single habit was a suggestion or halachic obligation described in Torah-based literature! It turns out the Torah is a blueprint for how to live our best, most successful lives. Here are ten of the “rich habits” – habits which correlate with our Torah – that we can start implementing today: 1. Millionaires wake up early: 50% of the millionaires in Corley’s study woke up three hours before their workday began. This enabled them to regain control over the unexpected during work hours. For example, the sick child who needed to come home, the fire they had to put out at work, or the project deadline that went awry. Rather than succumbing to a lack of control, they began work earlier in order to tackle the top three things they wanted to make sure to achieve that day. One millionaire that I interviewed personally said he was in his office at 7:00 am when the stock market opened on the East Coast at 10:00 am, while his colleagues would rush in a few minutes after ten, and always with an excuse. Similarly, the Shulchan Aruch begins that every morning we should awaken as a lion with energy to start the day: “Mitgaver ke ari.” We wake up with gratitude, saying “Modeh Ani.” Most of us, when we wake, don’t think about our days as being an adventure, but if we do, instead of hitting the snooze button, we might just awaken ready to go out and tackle the day. 2.

Millionaires read consistently:

The rich look to educate rather than to entertain themselves. They read at least 30 minutes a day. The books they read are meant to offer self-improvement in any area, rather than amuse themselves. This is a tenet of Judaism – we are the people of the book. The Torah is the manual to improving ourselves and our lives. The Torah demands that we set aside time each day to study its contents and to use it to improve ourselves. This process is called kovea itim. Science used to think that the brain stopped growing at age 25, but we now know this isn’t true. The brain is flexible, malleable, and new pathways can be created at any age. The more we read for knowledge, the more new pathways are created. This enables us to think more creatively. 3. Millionaires are positive: Having a positive outlook on life is key to becoming rich, according to Corley. Thinking positively has the power to draw abundance towards oneself. Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill is adamant about this concept. When we think about our goals and dreams in a positive light, we achieve them at a much higher rate. This includes making sure that we surround ourselves with people who exude positive energy. If we track our thoughts, we might be surprised at how many negative ideas cross our minds and dictate how we feel. Rebbe Nachman of Breslov taught, “Mitzvah gedolah lehiyot b’simchah tamid – It is a big commandment to be happy.” When cold-calling prospective clients, the millionaire that I interviewed said he would always think about something that made him happy before picking up the phone, so that the person on the other end of the line could feel his smile and in return, have an enjoyable interaction. This small act of thinking positively, he said, always helped him seal the deal. 4. Millionaires don’t make money in order to spend money: The rich don’t have the goal of making money so that they can purchase more things. They have goals of amassing certain amounts for the sake of making money to save. The self-made millionaires generally even lived below their

7. Millionaires practice good etiquette: Can you say, “good middos?” Although middos is different than etiquette, the two often overlap. It is important throughout life to exude good manners, as our professional and personal relationships often dictate the kind of reputation we develop throughout our lives and careers.

means. “Aizeh hu ashir? Hasameach bechelko,” it says in Pirkei Avot. “Who is rich? The one who is happy with their lot.” Rather than looking at those who have more than us, we need to look at those who have less. When we think about other countries, especially where some people don’t even have access to clean water, it gives us a sense of perspective as to just how much we truly have. 5. Millionaires dedicate 15-30 minutes of thinking and or meditating a day: Prayer, anyone? See in your mind’s eye what it is you want to happen. Visualize that speech you want to make, or a prospective conversation to close the deal. Imagine the amount you want in your savings account, or the feeling of pride in sending your child off to college. 6. Millionaires exercise: Almost 80 % of the rich exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Apparently, exercise is not only great for one’s body, but it actually can make a person smarter. Exercising grows brain cells and produces glucose. Glucose is brain fuel. The more fuel you give to your brain, the smarter you become. Although the Torah does not prescribe any rules regarding exercise specifically, it does view taking care of one’s body as a priority. Even before one can begin to consider spiritual pursuits, the physical body must be cared for. This includes proper nutrition, rest, and exercise, of course. Caring for one’s body is considered a mitzvah of utmost importance.

8. Millionaires seek feedback to improve: “Aseh lecha rav – make a mentor for yourself.” Humility is a quality seen in many self-made millionaires. Although confidence is key, humility provides the space and willingness to improve oneself even more, without being afraid, or having too much pride to do so. It is the humble individual who succeeds, not only personally, but also professionally. 9. Millionaires help others succeed, and are generous: Not only do millionaires seek out mentors to help them improve and grow in areas where they could be better, but almost every millionaire I know has taken an interest in helping a “student” or “mentee” to become financially independent and successful. They are grateful for their own guiding angels, and decide to pay it forward. Not only do they give of their time to help others succeed, they also give generously of their wealth. Tzedakah is a mitzvah in the Torah, not just a nice deed. The highest form of charity in Judaism is helping another become self-sufficient in his livelihood. 10. Millionaires don’t follow the herd: One of the most famous quotes in Pirkei Avot says, “In a place where there is no man of substance, strive to be the man.” In a place that is lacking leaders, take responsibility for what needs to be done. Not everyone in this world will become a millionaire, and not everyone believes that being a millionaire is definitive of success. But I believe that there is truth to finding great habits that work to build success – in whatever arena “success” means for you.

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

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Torah The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

The Weekly Daf Rabbi Shmuel Wise, Maggid Shiur of

How do we know that a ‫סנהדרין קטנה‬ (Lower Sanhedrin), the type of court used to judge capital cases, needs 23 judges? As our mishnah (2a) explained, it takes a few steps to arrive at the number 23. The first source the mishnah cites is from this week’s second sedra, Masei, where the Torah discusses the case of someone who inadvertently killed a person. The Torah there mentions two expressions in reference to the beis din that tries the case: “‫“ ”ושפטו העדה‬The convention (of judges) shall judge,” and “‫“ ”והצילו העדה‬The convention of judges shall save.” Chazal understand these expressions as referring to the two possible verdicts that the court may reach: either to judge, i.e. condemn, or to save, namely, acquit.

since the Torah qualifies with, “for evil,” it’s clear that we do follow majority to acquit. However the end of the pasuk forces us to re-evaluate this reading. The pasuk there goes on to teach that we do follow majority, which apparently is saying that to acquit, we do follow majority. But this cannot be the meaning because then it would be redundant: we already understood from the pasuk’s earlier language that majority is followed to acquit. Must be, that the pasuk from beginning to end is referring to using a majority to condemn and the Torah means: sometimes we follow majority to condemn, sometimes we do not. More specifically, a minimal majority of just one judge is not enough to condemn, but a larger majority of two or more judges is enough to condemn (and to acquit, a majority of one judge is enough).

is evenly split! Tosfos offers a fascinating answer: the way the Torah expresses the command not to follow majority to condemn is, “do not follow majority for evil.” Tosfos argues (for R’ Yoshiyah) that this wording can only be referring to a capital case where clearly the verdict to condemn is bad for the defendant. The Torah can’t be referring to a monetary dispute where by definition the ruling will be bad for one litigant and good for the other litigant. So clearly, when the Torah built “majority rules” into the system, it did so specifically for capital, not monetary cases (This is only R’ Yoshiya’s view. R’ Yoshiya’s disputants would probably retort that “for evil” is applicable even to monetary cases if this phrase is understood in the sense of liability, i.e. the Torah discusses following the majority opinion that finds this defendant liable. Invariably, there will be only be one liable party.). What do judges, childbirth, sacrifices, Sukkos, corpse blood, pilgrims, and cheeseburgers all have in common?

Now the word ‫ עדה‬implies a group of ten. How do we know? From the fact that the Torah in Parshas Shelach refers to the ten evil spies with this term, ‫( עדה‬As an aside, the Gemara in Megillah 23b also uses ‫עדה‬ to derive the halachic requirement of 10 men for a minyan. It is fascinating that the required number for these central halachos of religious life, the sanhedrin and a quorum for prayers, are derived from these 10 men who go down in infamy for the grave sin they committed!). So the Torah is saying that the court in question (the ‫סנהדרין‬ ‫ קטנה‬required to judge a capital case) must be comprised of enough judges that can have 10 saying, “guilty,” and 10 saying, “innocent,” bringing us to 20 judges. The next step is the pasuk in Mishpatim which teaches the fundamental principle of “majority rules.” Ironically, the pasuk there opens with the directive of, “do not follow the majority for evil.” The mishnah remarks that apparently the Torah is teaching that if the court is split, we do not hand down a guilty verdict based on majority, rather, we only condemn if that is the unanimous opinion of the court. But

In light of this new information (i.e. that the court can condemn with a majority of 2), we deduce that this court must have enough judges to have a majority of two over the 10 “‫ ”והצילו העדה‬judges who have decided to acquit, meaning, 22 judges (10 saying innocent, and 12 saying guilty). The final step is the principle that “we don’t convene a court with an even number judges.” This is because if there is an even number of judges, the court could end being evenly split which would contravene the Torah’s indication (“follow the majority”) that there always be a majority opinion. Therefore, we must add one more judge, bringing us to the total of 23 judges. Now on 3b we learned the opinion of R’ Yoshiyah who disagrees with the above rule when it comes to monetary cases and asserts that a court may have an even number of judges for monetary cases. Tosfos there wonders how R’ Yoshiyah can assert this in light of the aforementioned pasuk that clearly presumes the system of “majority rules.” We just explained that a court with an even number of judges could undermine the majority system if it

As we learned on 4a-4b, all of these are subjects are relevant to the raging Talmudic debate as to whether we go by the pronounced (‫ )מקרא‬or written (‫ )מסרת‬form of words in the Torah. For example, on the issue of how many judges are needed for monetary cases, the pronounced form (“‫יר־‬ ‫ )”שיעון‬indicates another two judges, but the written form (“‫ )”ירשיען‬is deficient, indicating only one judge. Rebbi asserts that the Torah means two judges as indicated by the pronounced form and the rabbanan say that only one judge is indicated (see further for their reason). The Gemara then notes many other tannaim who also say that we go by the pronounced version. Now most of the tannaim cited have disputants (e.g. the Rabbanan of Rebbi) who argue with these different laws derived from the pronounced reading in each case, which seems to suggest that there’s a whole team of Sages that goes by the written form. The Gemara questions how this is possible in light of a baraisa that discusses the pasuk that forbids the cooking of a kid goat in the ‫ חלב‬of its mother. The baraisa wonders: maybe the Torah here means that we are not to cook (or eat) a goat in its mother’s fat, since the word ‫חלב‬, as written, can be read chei-lev, “fat” (a notion that would surely put deep-fry lovers into a depression). It is well known that in fact the only prohibition here is not to cook meat in milk, as per the traditional pronun-

ciation of cha-leiv imo (“cha-leiv” is the way to pronounce chalov, “milk,” when read along with the word it is attached to, “imo,” its mother in the phrase, “milk of its mother”). From the fact that apparently the written form of the word (which allows the reading of “fat”) is disregarded, the baraisa deduces that only the pronounced form counts. Based on this baraisa, the Gemara concedes that there cannot be a legitimate position that goes by the written form. The Gemara then goes to great lengths to try and understand all of the cited disputants in a manner that avoids anyone questioning the undebatable view that we always go by the pronounced form. (The Gemara later retreats from this assertion; see further.) On its surface, the Gemara’s proof (that prompted a whole new understanding of the named tannaim) seems incomprehensible. Consider: when we get up to the passuk in the Torah that says, “thou shalt not cook a kid goat in its mother’s ‫חלב‬,” the question automatically arises: what is meant by ‫ – חלב‬is it chalov, milk, or perhaps, chei-lev, fat? So obviously the meaning of the word here will depend upon the way Tradition dictates to read the word. This is not a question of “choosing” between the pronounced or written form, but rather, a question of how to read an ambiguous word in the Torah! But perhaps that’s exactly the point. That is, perhaps the Gemara’s proof from ‫חלב‬ is: here we have a situation where the only way to understand what the Torah means is from the way tradition dictates it be pronounced. This shows us that the way we pronounce the words is integral to understanding the Torah, and thus when presented with a theoretical choice between the pronounced vs. the written form, we can only follow the pronounced form. In the end, though, the Gemara concludes that this proof is not compelling. For perhaps, in theory, we would actually interpret ‫ חלב‬in accordance with the written form and interpret the Torah to be forbidding meat cooked in fat. But the Torah gives us a specific indication otherwise by using the language of “do not cook the kid in its mother’s ‫חלב‬.” For heating up meat in fat would be called frying, not cooking. All deep-fry lovers can now breathe a sigh of relief.

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

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Op-Ed The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Division at the Kotel is No Path to Unity Rabbi Pesach Lerner and Rabbi Yaakov Menken

The statements from American Jewish movements, the Jewish Agency, and numerous op-ed writers could hardly have been more repetitive. Following the decision of Israeli PM Netanyahu and his cabinet to suspend the “deal” that would have created a large plaza for mixed prayer at the Western Wall, most rushed to offer opinions no more varied than the news reports, as if there were only one reasonable position that writers (and readers) could take. Their consistent thesis was that Netanyahu’s decision caved to “political pressure” from the charedi political parties (universally described as “ultra-Orthodox”) and that suspension of the deal was divisive, a rejection of American Jewry. Pejoratives are not merely mean-spirited and divisive in their own right; in this case, they were used to upend the reality. Neither Uri Ariel nor Betzalel Smotrich, MKs of the Jewish Home party, could remotely be described as “ultra-Orthodox.” Yet both wrote a letter to Netanyahu urging that the deal be scrapped; after it was, Ariel said in a prepared statement that “we succeeded in preventing an unnecessary split among the Jewish people and an attack on the social and religious fabric of Israeli society and the Jewish people.” So which position unites us, and which divides? Each claims to side with unity, but only one can be correct. The claim that the Western Wall is “controlled” by “ultra-Orthodox rabbis” inflames passions and masks the truth: there is no natural demand for an alternative, mixed space at the Western Wall – from American Jews, much less Israelis. Contrary to the common narrative, it is creating such a space that would divide our nation. The existing plaza exists purely due to popular request. Following the reunification of Jerusalem in 1967, traditional Jews immediately flocked to the holy site and requested suitable facilities for prayer. Today thousands (and often tens of thousands) stream to the site daily, at all times

in all seasons, pouring out their hearts at the place they regard as the holiest place Jews may go today. Gender-separate prayer services are no “ultra-Orthodox” invention; they are part of our universal Jewish heritage. Descendants of refugees from Yemen, Iraq, Syria, Egypt and Algeria pray at the Western Wall, alongside those whose grandparents were born in Israel and those who immigrated to escape Soviet oppression and anti-Semitism in France – joined by immigrants and students from America and around the globe. Despite millennia of dispersion, Jews everywhere follow the same basic prayer service. In our common Jewish practice, we find unity. There is no similar interest in a site for mixed prayer. The first reason for this is theological: at its inception, the Reform movement rejected the special holiness of the Temple in Jerusalem, excised prayers for its restoration from their liturgy, and for this reason began to call its synagogues “temples.” Within recent years, Reform leaders declared that the Temple Mount is irrelevant save for “its historic significance” and explicitly disavowed any interest in restoration of Jewish worship at the site. And despite an investment of tens of millions of dollars, the American liberal movements have failed to attract even minimal Israeli interest. No more than one percent of Israel’s six million Jews are members of Reform or Conservative con-

gregations. “Liberal” Tel Aviv has but one Reform temple and over 500 traditional synagogues. In contrast to the Orthodox who pray three times each day, Reform Jews attend synagogue no more than several times per year. Thus, there are multiple independent reasons why the demand from the American liberal movements for a place at the Western Wall “equal” to that provided to traditional Jews offends logic and reason. These movements frequently refer to times of anti-Semitic oppression to “prove” precedent for undivided prayer. In 1928, for example, British authorities removed the divider placed at the Western Wall – while attendees were in the middle of Yom Kippur prayers. At no time in history did Jews willingly remove the divider or pray without one, and it is truly offensive that liberal leaders would exploit readers’ ignorance to imply otherwise. Many American Jews are also unaware that there already exists a facility at the Western Wall for mixed prayer and that the claim of American liberal leaders that they cannot pray as they wish at the site is entirely false. Several years ago, then-Religious Affairs Minister Naftali Bennett responded to persistent agitation from Women of the Wall (WOW) and American liberal leaders by building an alternative facility he called “Ezrat Yisrael.” WOW responded with a twenty-four hour sit-in

and steadfastly refused to move its monthly services to this site, although they could pray there undisturbed as they claim to desire. The truth is, no one uses this site except on an occasional basis. Neither American liberal movement has even once filled the site to capacity, yet they demand a new, larger facility as if there were a real need. Liberal leaders mis-portray the interests of their American congregants. Jewish tourists do not come to the Western Wall looking for the same prayers they rarely attend at home. On the contrary, like visitors to the holy sites of religions all around the world, they come to see – and perhaps join – natives at their native prayers. Today only 25% of American Jews are members of a Reform or Conservative congregation. Over 60% of American Jews are totally unaffiliated, and have little or no interest in Judaism, Israel, Jerusalem or the Western Wall. The liberal movements are losing their grandchildren to assimilation; they would do far greater good were they to apply their passion towards ensuring future Jewish generations, rather than upsetting traditions of prayer at Israel’s Western Wall. Rabbi Pesach Lerner is Executive Vice President Emeritus of the National Council of Young Israel. Rabbi Yaakov Menken is Director of the Coalition for Jewish Values, a public policy institute reflecting classical Jewish thought.

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JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

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JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Book Review: The Vale of Tears by Rabbi Pinchas Hirschprung (The Azrieli Foundation, 2016: 318 pages) Reviewed by Rebecca Klempner

The Azrieli Foundation has produced a new, revised edition of Rabbi Pinchas Hirschprung’s The Vale of Tears. Originally published while the Shoah still raged, the book’s unique voice and point of view set it apart from other volumes of Holocaust literature and remain potent even after decades have passed. Rabbi Hirschprung arrived in Canada in 1941 after fleeing the Nazis as well as Soviet oppression. Despite his successful escape, his wartime experiences haunted him. “…[T]o keep what I experienced bot-

tled up inside me, to internalize it without sharing with others the impact of what I endured – this I could not do (p. xxxvii).” Rav Hirschprung wrote The Vale of Tears in Yiddish, and it appeared as a serial in the Montreal-based Yiddish newspaper Der Kenedler Adler in 1944. As such, it was one of the first Holocaust memoirs written. When the war broke out in 1939, Rav Hirschprung was a 27 year old talmid chacham. He lived at home in his shtetl of Dukla, Poland, at the foot of the Carpath-

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ian Mountains, having returned from his studies at Yeshivas Chachmei Lublin. Germany invaded, and the country of Poland was divided between Germany and the USSR. Dukla landed in German hands. Rav Hirschprung’s Chassidic family consisted of his parents, his sisters, and his grandfather, who served as the Chief Rabbi of Dukla. When German soldiers arrived, they immediate sought out his grandfather, and Rav Hirschprung helped him evade capture and escape. Dukla’s Jews had heard of atrocities committed towards prominent rabbis in other towns and didn’t want their beloved Rabbi Sehmann to suffer the same fate. The citizens of Dukla now turned to the young Rav Hirschprung for leadership. He was a reluctant organizer; before the war had even started, he suffered from anxiety and depression. But he did his duties until it became clear he, too, had to flee. The Vale of Tears chronicles his escape into Soviet-held Poland, his subsequent flight to Lithuania (accomplished in winter and mostly shoeless), his successful establishment of a new Yeshivas Chachmei Lublin in Vilna, and his escape to Canada via Kobe, Japan. Many misadventures complicated Rav Hirschprung’s journey, and many heroic figures enhanced it. The vivid portraits of men like Rabbi Chaim Ozer Grodzinski and women like Chashe, who fed the destitute and desperate yeshiva students, sparkle in this otherwise somber volume. A nameless woman offers the young rabbi chizzuk on the train, a stranger feeds him in the night – these images show the greatness in simple Jews. A unique feature of The Vale of Tears is the style in which it is written. Much of the author’s story is couched in allusion to verses from Tanach, events in the Mishnah and Gemara, and familiar Yiddish folktales. The influence of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov hovers over the entire book. Rabbi Hirschprung alludes also to his extensive secular education, referring to Tolstoy and even Marx. The original editor of the serial, Israel Rabinovitch explains, “Had I not known the distinguished young rabbi personally, I would have thought this was literary artifice or even clever propaganda

(p. xxxvi).” Indeed, the overall impression is one of brutal honestly, deeply felt emotion, and strange beauty. The reader feels as if they are first-hand witnessing how a man of great knowledge processes tragedy, how his faith is tested, fumbles and yet in the end increases. The new edition of The Vale of Tears contains a glossary, photos, and an index. Also enhancing this new edition was the decision to put in fewer chapter breaks, which better suits a book than the initial, very short serial installments did. Due to its rapid wartime publication, no fact-checking could be completed on the original edition. Thus, the editors of the new book have footnoted all assumptions and rumors mentioned by Rav Hirschprung which subsequently proved untrue. For example, the radio reported the suicide of a major political figure, but it turned out he was merely on the run, and Rav Hirschprung was still unaware of his relatives’ fates at the time of his writing. David J. Azrieli, a Holocaust survivor and the founder of The Azrieli Foundation, introduces the new edition of The Vale of Tears with the following statement: “… knowing that our stories will be read and live on, it is possible for us [meaning: survivors] to feel truly free (Preface).” From a biographical note added by family members, we learn about Rav Hirschprung’s later years. Rav Hirschprung married his rebbitzen Alte Chaya, raised nine children with her, led a shul, and founded the local Bais Yaakov school for girls. Eventually, he became not only the Chief Rabbi of Montreal, but an internationally known and respected gadol. Clearly, he did more than “live on.”

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JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

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Higher Cancer Rates among Holocaust Survivors A study has been published in the American Cancer Society’s Cancer journal that found that Holocaust survivors

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

are far more likely to get certain kinds of cancer than other people. The study looked at 152,622 Holocaust survivors over the course of 45 years in Israel. The authors of the study compared cancer rates between those who were entitled to compensation for their experiences and those who weren’t, as well as those who lived in Nazi-occupied countries compared to those who lived elsewhere. The rationale behind the comparisons is that those who were entitled to compensation suffered the worst persecutions in death camps, concentration camps, and ghettos. Siegal Sadetzki, of the Ramat Gan Sheba Medical Center, led the research team. She conducted the study hoping to find out if conditions such as lack of food, overcrowding, disease, and extreme stress affects one’s likelihood of getting cancer. “The data emphasize the importance

of learning about the combined effect of several exposures occurring intensely and contemporaneously on cancer risk, such as those that unfortunately occurred during World War II,” Sadetzki said, adding that “such inspection cannot be conducted by experimental studies and could only be evaluated by using observational epidemiological surveys.” The study concluded that 22 percent of those who received compensation developed cancer, compared with 16 percent of those who did not. Those that received compensation had a 37% higher chance of having lung cancer and a 12% higher chance of having colon cancer. Those that lived in Nazi-occupied countries were 8 percent more likely to develop cancer.

High Flying Scores For Ben Gurion Int’l

Travel + Leisure magazine has issued its annual ranking of the world’s ten best airports, and Ben Gurion International Airport has made the cut. The publication asked readers to share their opinions of the world’s airports taking access, check-in, design, food, security, and shopping into

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dences will be the first of its kind to offer the ultra-Orthodox an entirely unique way to experience Miami at a higher standard. Beginning at 1500 square feet, with the largest unit reaching a sprawling 3300 square feet, these spacious duplexes will feel more like private homes than regular Florida condos. Built to accommodate a growing family, smaller duplexes have two bedrooms, while the largest can house up to five bedrooms, including an oversized master, with each bedroom attached to its own en suite bathroom with double

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sinks. Perfect for friends and visits from extended family. Your guests will never want to go back home. On the lower level, an ample living room area along with a powder room leads into the kitchen. High-end finishes and glossy marble countertops, along with a useful marble island, enhance the comfort and convenience of the space intended to remove the common one-sink handicap of a conventional condominium. This kitchen is equipped with two sinks, two ovens, two cooktops, featuring Wolf Subzero appliances and Kohler fixtures, all in shiny stainless steel. Contemporary and airy, this kitchen is the perfect gathering place for family and friends. Cooking is made simple at the Eden Residences and preparing meals for a large family or crowd during yom tov will be easy.

And of course, no trip to Miami is complete without time spent at the pool. From the comfort of the cabanas, visitors will have the opportunity to visit one of two gorgeous private pools, built to accommodate men and women for separate swimming. They will provide a unique level of comfort and beauty catered specifically for a crowd practicing a higher level of observance. Shabbos is well-spent at Eden with two nearby shuls of different affiliations located within walking distance. The residences also have a large event space, with a retractable mechitzah perfect for parties and private affairs. A beautiful gated park equipped with a full playground will be built – wonderful for kids to play in on any day at home after swimming or before breakfast. Two modern and updated

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JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News

THE HOLY ARIZAL PROMISES: If a minyan of devout Jews will gather after midnight and perform the special Ketores Segulah with concentration,

it will make a tremendous impression and they will accomplish everything that they will pray for! )'‫(שער הכוונות – דרושי תפלת שחרית ג‬


Thursday Night, 5th of Av, July 27

the Yarzheit of the holy Arizal A minyan of illustrious talmidei chachomim

will recite the Ketores Segulah on your behalf. HUNDREDS HAVE SEEN YESHUOS LAST YEAR THRU THIS SPECIAL SEGULAH!



The Week In News

account. Ben Gurion came in at number 8 this year. Though that is very impressive considering it is being compared to every international airport in the world, it did fall two spots from its ranking last year. Ben Gurion received a score of 79.40 out of 100. Coming in below Israel on the top ten list is Abu Dhabi International and Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport. Ben Gurion International saw 18 million people pass through in 2016, for its busiest year ever. Terminal 1 was completely renovated and reopened in June. Landing the top spot for the fifth year running is Singapore’s Changi Airport which offers lounges to nap in, a rooftop pool, shower rooms, a movie theater and a garden – all free of charge. Here are the top ten airports in the world: 1. Singapore’s Changi Airport 2. Hamad International Airport, Doha, Qatar 3. Dubai International Airport 4. Incheon International Airport, South Korea 5. Hong Kong International Airport 6. Switzerland’s Zurich International Airport 7. Japan’s Haneda (Tokyo Internation-

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

al Airport) 8. Israel’s Ben Gurion International Airport 9. Abu Dhabi International Airport (UAE) 10. Amsterdam’s Schiphol International Airport

Landmark Water Deal Reached

A deal has been signed that will both help the Dead Sea replenish itself and provide water to the Gaza Strip at the same time. Israel and the Palestinian Authority have announced an agreement that will include the construction of a 220 kilometer pipeline from the Red Sea to the Dead Sea that will replenish the dwindling Yam

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Hamelach and generate electricity to power a desalination plant to give water to Gaza. The agreement was negotiated by President Donald Trump’s envoy Jason Greenblatt, who is hailing the deal as a “harbinger of things to come.” “As we all know, water is a precious commodity in the Middle East,” Greenblatt said. “The U.S. welcomes the agreement reached by the Palestinian Authority and the government of Israel, which will allow for the sale of 32 million cubic meters of water from Israel to the Palestinian Authority. In addition, we hope that the deal will contribute to the healing of the Dead Sea and that will help not only Palestinians and Israelis but Jordanians as well.” The deal was made under the watchful guidance of Regional Cooperation Minister Tzachi Hanegbi. “Unfortunately, in our neighborhood we don’t always have a reason to smile. This morning we do,” Hanegbi said. “After years of stalemate, and thanks to the passionate negotiations of Jason Greenblatt and thanks to the pragmatic and professional approach of both delegations… we reached an important agreement,” he said. President Trump has been very adamant that achieving peace in the Middle East is a “top priority for him.” The U.S. envoy that met with Benjamin Netanyahu and the Palestinians as a launching point to reopen negotiations noted that this water deal is the second recent agreement that has been made between Israel and the PA, referring to the launching of the new Jenin electrical substation last week. The canal that is to be built has an estimated cost of $10 billion. Israel, the U.S., the EU, Japan, Italy and others have already committed to part of the cost, according to Netanyahu’s office.

Calls for Day of Rage after Temple Mount Terror Shooting Multiple people have been arrested by Israeli Police after a deadly terror attack took place at the Temple Mount last Friday. Two Druze Israeli police officers, master sergeants Haiel Sitawe, 30, and Kamil Shnaan, 22, were killed in the shooting attack. The terrorists, Israeli-Arabs Muhammad Ahmed Muhammad Jabarin, 29, Muhammad Hamad Abdel Latif Jabarin, 19, and Muhammad Ahmed Mafdal Jabarin, 19, were all shot after they fled from the scene. Other officers had given chase and opened fire on the killers inside the Temple Mount complex. Two of them were killed. The third was arrested but was then killed

when he lunged at officers with a knife. In addition to arresting additional suspects who may have helped carry out the attack, raids were conducted on the homes of the terrorists, who are all cousins from the northern Israeli city of Umm al-Fahm. For the first time in decades, police ordered the closure of the Temple Mount while they carried out security checks. It is not known how the terrorists smuggled the guns they used into the Temple Mount complex. Muslim visitors to the site are subjected to a much less rigorous search than non-Muslim visitors who enter through the Mughrabi Bridge. Israel is responsible for the security of the area. Jordan urged Israel to “immediately reopen” the Haram al-Sharif compound, which houses the Dome of the Rock. Public Security Minister Gilad Erdan, who is responsible for the police, called the attack “an extremely serious event which crossed all red lines. The investigation is ongoing. We will need to reevaluate all of the security arrangements on the Temple Mount and its environs. I call on all public leaders to act to calm the situation and ensure quiet in Jerusalem.”

Although no terror group claimed responsibility for the attack, Hamas did praise the shootings. saying it was a “natural response to Israeli terrorism.” Temple Mount was reopened on Sunday to Muslims and to non-Muslims on Monday. New security measures, including the installation of metal detectors, were implemented when it was opened. The Fatah movement, headed by Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, called for a “Day of Rage” on Wednesday to protest the new security measures. The announcement of a “Day of Rage” came amid unrest from Arabs who hurled rocks and firebombs and blocked roads in defiance. Along with other Islamic groups, the Waqf trust, which administers the site, on Monday called on Muslims “to reject

and boycott all the Israeli aggression measures, including changing the historical status quo including imposing the metal detectors.” In its statement, the Waqf called on the faithful not to enter the mosque by passing through the metal detectors, adding, “If the metal detectors continue to be imposed, we call upon the people to pray in front of the gates of the mosque and in the streets of Jerusalem.”

The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

THE HOLY ARIZAL PROMISES: If a minyan of devout Jews will gather after midnight and perform the special Ketores Segulah with concentration,

it will make a tremendous impression and they will accomplish everything that they will pray for! )'‫(שער הכוונות – דרושי תפלת שחרית ג‬


Thursday Night, 5th of Av, July 27

the Yarzheit of the holy Arizal A minyan of illustrious talmidei chachomim

will recite the Ketores Segulah on your behalf. HUNDREDS HAVE SEEN YESHUOS LAST YEAR THRU THIS SPECIAL SEGULAH!


28 62

Feature The OCTOBER Week In News 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Jewish Heroes of the Holocaust By Tammy Mark


believe that acts of goodness, no matter Jew or non-Jew, need to be portrayed and need to stand

out.” Author and educator Dr. Mordecai Paldiel dedicated over two decades of his life seeking out and honoring the Righteous among the Nations, the valiant gentile men and women who risked their lives to save Jews during the Holocaust. It was a mission that he undertook with the deepest of devotion and appreciation. Throughout this journey Paldiel came across numerous stories of other heroes: the courageous Jewish heroes that put themselves in a danger even graver to save their fellow Jews from death.

Having written eight books on the subject of the Righteous Gentiles, Paldiel has now compiled some of the most inspiring and noteworthy stories of these unsung heroes into his latest book, Saving One’s Own – Jewish Rescuers during the Holocaust. Paldiel believes that it is due time to pay honor to these little known and virtually forgotten brave souls. Himself saved by a Catholic priest as a young child, Paldiel worked for Yad Vashem for 24 years. Yad Vashem - The World Holocaust Remembrance Center in Jerusalem, Israel, is known as the ultimate source for Holocaust education, documentation and research, and was the first of its kind. As director of the Department of Righteous

among the Nations, Paldiel’s job was to identify and honor non-Jews who risked their lives to save Jews during the Holocaust. During his time there Paldiel added 18,000 names to the registry, leaving Yad Vashem in 2007 with a total of 22,000 names of documented Righteous Gentiles. Today, there are over 26,000 names on record. Through these many years of intense research and verification, Paldiel would often learn of Jews involved in various rescue efforts. While in some instances the non-Jewish rescuers worked in tandem with the Jewish rescuers, in many others the Jewish rescuers were actually the prominent ones in the operation. “I kept wondering to myself, here

I am at Yad Vashem,” recalls Paldiel, “and how come nobody talks about the Jewish rescuers?” When he initially went to speak with the scholars and historians at Yad Vashem, Dr. Paldiel was told that there were very many instances of Jews helping Jews, and that one Jew helping another Jew is not a big deal – and in fact they were obligated to do that. Since a gentile that helped a Jew was not obligated to do it at all, the belief is if a gentile did indeed help then he must certainly be saluted. Paldiel explains that although under the Yad Vashem program of Righteous among the Nations a gentile saving one Jew is actually sufficient criteria for recognition, that wasn’t quite what he had in mind for

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Family photo of the Paldiel family, taken in Antwerp, Belgium, in 1947 or 1948. Mordecai is standing at the top on the extreme right. He is pictured with his parents, Shlomo Yehezkiel and Hinde; his sisters, Annie (top, center), Leah (top, left), Frieda (bottom, extreme left), sisters Rebecca (on mother’s lap), Mania-Malk (bottom, right); brother Simon (leaning on his father); and his maternal grandmother, Yocheved Labin-Kanner (extreme right) the Jewish rescuers. Paldiel was intent on bringing to light the extraordinary stories of the bravest ones who went way above and farther beyond – the outstanding men and women who created elaborate plans and clandestine networks in efforts to save the lives of their fellow Jews. There were, in fact, cases of those who stayed behind to continue their efforts when they had opportunity to flee to safety. “I didn’t understand who decided that a Jew had to add risk on top of the risk because he was a Jew?” ponders Paldiel. “He was ‘obligated’?!” During his tenure at Yad Vashem, Paldiel met a man named Haim Roet. Roet was born in Holland and was saved as a teenager by a Dutch man who was honored as a Righteous Gentile. Roet launched a program across Israel called Unto Every Person There is a Name, where names of people who died in the Holocaust are read aloud on Yom Hashoah. Along the way, he too began to wonder about the Jewish rescuers – and he too was met with opposition when he approached Yad Vashem. Roet went on to form the Action Committee for the Recognition of Jewish Rescuers of Jews, a non-partisan civilian association, in hopes of convincing representatives of Yad Vashem to recognize the value

of the mission. The more Roet engaged with the educators and administrators of Yad Vashem about including and honoring the Jewish rescuers, the more resistance he encountered. His objective of adding this new concept to the existing programs of Yad Vashem was partially complicated by the fact that it wasn’t in the originally mandated law of Yad Vashem. The law which created Yad Vashem, legislated by the Knesset in 1953, only stated that the organization would

Mordecai Paldiel as a child in 1943 (Swiss police mug shot)

As a young child in Switzerland, 1944

cation process. Through his immersion and dedication to his department at Yad Vashem Paldiel came to be known as “Mr. Righteous Gentile” and was well qualified to advise on the challenge at hand. “We need a program so we can be proud of these people – they should serve as role models for our own purposes,” Paldiel asserts. “This in no way, in my opinion, would detract from what we’re doing with the Righteous Gentiles. I wrote eight books on the Righteous Gentiles –

him to finally tell the stories of the Jewish rescue efforts and the heroes that saved hundreds of their fellow Jews – and certainly time for these souls to be saluted and honored in some way.

“Why isn’t there a street in Israel named after her?” Paldiel wonders. “Name a street in Israel after her and people will ask, ‘Why Marianne Cohn?’ and then they will learn.” be obligated to honor the gentiles; honoring Jewish rescuers was simply not in the statutes. This drove Roet’s group to appeal to members of Knesset, requesting to amend the law to mandate Yad Vashem to expand the programming. An additional concern of the representatives at Yad Vashem was how they would go about determining whom to honor. Paldiel reassured them that just as with all nominations, there would be intense research, evaluations, and a verifi-


but we also need this. These are your people’s heroes,” he explains. In 2007, with the discussion and debate still ongoing in Israel, Paldiel retired from his long-standing post at Yad Vashem and returned to the United States to join his children and grandchildren. He began teaching courses on the Holocaust and the history of Zionism at Yeshiva University and at Touro College. It was about four years ago when he decided the time had come to write his ninth book. He felt it was time for

A Zionist Mentality To Paldiel’s credit, after several years of much discussion and deliberation, Yad Vashem has this year agreed to accept and incorporate Jewish rescuers and heroes into their programming. “This will go to the credit of Yad Vashem now that they have taken on a program like this.” As other Holocaust centers look to Yad Vashem as the standard, Paldiel hopes they will follow suit. “I think this is something which should flow by itself without opposition. There’s nothing there that needs to be hidden. Everything here is positive and good. Not even Yad Vashem has questioned the data.” Paldiel tries to make sense of their initial opposition, reasoning that, in general, it is difficult to amend organizational goals. He recognizes two issues, one general, and one more specific but complex. One simple reason is that Yad Vashem is a very large and well-respected organization. Organizations in general don’t operate by the suggestions of

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Feature The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

At the Kotel after its liberation during the Six Day War. Mordecai is in the middle with the beard and the hat

those outside the organization, or look to change gears from the mission and good work they are already engaged in. “The main reason, though, is the mentality in Israel, the Zionist ethos under which Israel was established,” asserts Paldiel. “When Zionism was created, the basic message of Zionism was that Jews living in the diaspora are defenseless and they are submissive and they don’t know how to handle themselves when they come upon danger – except to flee from one country to another country.” The widely accepted history was that during the Holocaust Jews went like proverbial sheep to the slaughter; they did nothing, and that’s why the State of Israel was needed. “We needed to create a new type of Jew, a Jew that was not a submissive. So we fought. We fought the Arabs, we won; we fought another war, and we won. This is the new Jew, the muscular Jew – Samson, David and Goliath. But in the diaspora we don’t have that mentality,” Paldiel elaborates. “That was the main message of Zionism. Zionism derided diaspora Judaism.” Paldiel further examines the atmosphere surrounding the creation of Yad Vashem and how it wasn’t created until mandated by law. The attitude at the time was to shield the Israeli youth from knowing about this so-called shameful and humiliating chapter in Jewish history where Jews “allowed” themselves to

Placing a wreath on the tomb of Oskar Schindler in Jerusalem, surrounded by persons he saved, in 1994

be killed in such great numbers. He explains that it was not the example they wanted to show. The mentality of what the Holocaust represented was diaspora Jewry at its worst – defenseless, hopeless, submissive. He explains that even at the time that the Knesset debated when to finally establish Yom Hashoah they decided that the commemoration would be between Passover and Israel Independence Day. “Why? The message: Passover, liberation; Holocaust, downfall; State of Israel, redemption. And that the State of Israel took us out of the Holocaust. So it is tucked in between these two dates. “When you talk about Jewish rescuers you show the Jewish people in the diaspora – not necessarily Zionists – who did get the right message, who did decide that they were going to try to take on the Nazis by saving Jews and trying to figure out how to create clandestine organizations. They were going to help Jews either alone or with the help of gentiles,” says Paldiel. “These are assertive people – not submissive, not standing by. This shows that also in the diaspora Jews can also take care of themselves, in spite of the great odds of the Nazi regime.” The mentality in Israel has slowly been changing, says Paldiel. “We are vulnerable even with our military prowess; we have to have an open mind for Jews outside of Israel who did something.”

A Band of Heroes Stories of the extraordinary efforts of gentile heroes have been portrayed in the media and widely disseminated, from the iconic award-winning Schindler’s List to

With the Raoul Wallenberg tree at Yad Vashem

the 2017 movie The Zookeeper’s Wife recounting the story of how Antonina and Jan Zabinski saved the lives of 300 Jews in their Warsaw Zoo. Although the exceptional story of the Jewish Bielski brothers was depicted in the 2008 major mo-

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Rabbi Weissmandl, who tried to "buy" Jews from the Germans

tion picture Defiance, countless other stories of Jewish rescuers are still ripe to be told. Dr. Paldiel’s book, Saving One’s Own, organized by country, includes remarkable stories of remarkable people. The foremost example that Dr. Paldiel cites is that of the Bielski brothers, the Polish Jewish brothers, Tuvia, Asael, Zus and Aharon, who established a large partisan camp in the forests of Belarus. While there are many stories told of Jews who fled to the forest and joined partisan organizations, those who joined were young, able-bodied and in some cases were required to come with a gun. All who could not fit the qualifications of fighting age were not admitted to the partisan groups – with the sole exception of the Bielski brothers’ group. The Bielski brothers, led by Tuvia, said that any Jew that flees into the forest could join; they accepted any Jewish person no matter how old or weak. The Bielskis had decided to both save and fight, at whatever the risk to the group, and for every one fighter there were about three people in the forest who were not fighting. The Bielskis succeeded in saving over 1,200 Jews from the Nazis, largely women and children and elderly, and their group considered one of the largest rescue operations of Jews by Jews. After the war, the partisans disbanded. Tuvia went with Zus to Israel and then to America, settling in Brooklyn. To make a living Tuvia procured a truck and dealt in mov-

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Marianne Cohn, a young hero

Members of the Bielski partisan group - Photo from Yad Vashem

ing furniture but struggled to make ends meet. Tuvia Bielski died in 1987, with his heroic efforts mostly unknown, while other Jewish partisans were hailed and celebrated. Paldiel expresses his dismay. “He was completely forgotten by the Jewish community. When he died here, no one paid attention, no one knew – nothing. The Jewish community overlooked it. Here’s a Jewish person who created a network in the forest, saved over 1,000 Jews, not even a handshake…” laments Dr. Paldiel. “So he’s dead and buried now; he has children and grandchildren but it’s a shameful thing. We honor someone – a non-Jewish person who saved one Jew – we give him a medal, we give him a certificate, we plant a tree for him at Yad Vashem. “A story like the Bielski brothers – you should teach it to Jewish children and show them and say, here’s a fellow who fought the Germans but he saved more than he fought. His message was, ‘I am here to save my people.’”

boarded trains without knowing where it was heading, many knew and tried to alert people of the danger their people were facing. Jews from all walks of Jewish affiliation reached out to help their fellow Jews. Rabbi Zalman Schneerson, the scion of the Lubavitcher Hasidic sect, suffered severe persecution under the Communist regime in the Soviet Union for spreading religious teachings, yet years later he bravely established two homes for adults and children in need in France during the war. The charismatic Rabbi Schneerson also ran a yeshiva and a vocational school and was able to maintain good relations with the police for some time. He was even able to have his radio technology school registered as a “labor group,” saving many students from being taken to labor camps. Later on Rabbi Schneerson would have to go into hiding, moving the children from chateau to chateau to stay ahead of the Germans. Ultimately, when many of the children in his care were taken and deported to Auschwitz, the rabbi remained with the several dozen surviving children until France’s liberation. During his research Paldiel discovered that he was one of the fortunate children who had been hidden in Rabbi Schneerson’s children home in Marseilles for a few months. Rabbi Michael Dov-Ber Weissmandl from Slovakia tried tirelessly to move others to action in saving the Jews. He crafted the Europa Plan –

Heroic Leaders Contrary to the idea that the Jews had no idea or guidance, Saving One’s Own opens with the quotes of Jewish leaders throughout Europe warning their fellow Jews to leave and be aware of what was happening; imploring them to hide, flee and do anything to not be taken and not to board the trains. While many indeed


a bold and elaborate ploy to “negotiate” with the Nazis. Not a diplomat but a Talmudic scholar, Rabbi Weissmandl took advantage of the Nazi propaganda that proclaimed that the Jews were powerful and controlled the world and that the war was actually launched by Jews to destroy Germany. Weissmandl fabricated documents claiming that he was a delegate of the secret Jewish government and was sent to negotiate a deal. These documents eventually made it to S.S. Commander Heinrich Himmler, and to Rabbi Weissmandl’s shock, Himmler was willing to negotiate. It was 1942 and Himmler, realizing that Germany alone could not win the war, thought he could be a hero by preventing Germany from going down in defeat. Himmler told Rabbi Weissmandl that for the sum of $2 million they could halt the Holocaust in France and Belgium – with $200,000 up front. Rabbi Weissmandl immediately scrambled to raise these funds, reaching out to Jewish organizations and joint distribution funds but was met with skepticism and resistance. He was fully willing to take the monetary risk in efforts to stop a few trains or to save even a few Jews. After repeated failed attempts and stalling Himmler for a while, Rabbi Weissmandl had to eventually abort the mission. His efforts weren’t completely for naught. He was able to bribe the Slovaks for a period of time, saving thousands of Jews from death.


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Rabbi Zalman Schneerson with Rabbi Kotujanski in Paris after the war

Some boys at the Yeshiva of Eragny, led by Rabbi Schneerson

Marianne Cohn and Her Children

was managed by the Jewish federation in Switzerland, and his parents were interred in a camp for adults. After the war the family went back to Belgium and in 1950 came to America, where Paldiel went to a Lubavitch yeshiva high school and then Washington Irving in New York City. Paldiel was trained by his fa-

Dr. Paldiel tells another story of a Jewish woman named Marianne Cohn. Born in Germany, Cohn fled first to Spain and then to France. When the Germans came into France, Cohn joined the Jewish underground where she was assigned to smuggle Jewish children across the border into Switzerland. This was done in secret collaboration with Jewish people on the Swiss side who would meet the children. Cohn went on several trips, taking groups of 20-50 children across the border at night until May of 1944, when a German patrol arrested Cohn and took the children. Cohn remained in prison there until the eve of the German retreat, when she was taken out to the forest and brutally shot and killed at the age of 22, tortured before her death for her refusal to give information. There were two Frenchmen along on that last trip who were hired to take the children on their trucks to a certain point at the border. They too were arrested but released. These Frenchmen were later honored by Yad Vashem as Righteous Gentiles, yet Marianne Cohn – the leading spirit who was successful in saving over 200 children – received nothing. There are schools in both France and Germany named after her and a stone is placed on her house in Berlin marking her noble efforts and her tragic murder. “Why isn’t there a street in Israel named after her?” Paldiel wonders.

“Name a street in Israel after her and people will ask, ‘Why Marianne Cohn?’ and then they will learn.” Paldiel’s frustration is strong – he wants to shout it out. He wants to educate the Jewish children about Marianne Cohn and explain what she did. “That is the purpose of this book – which I hope will also be translated into Hebrew.” Saving One’s Own is filled with story after story illustrating the great pains these Jewish heroes went through to save their fellow Jews at tremendous risk to their own lives. Paldiel’s 400 page tome couldn’t possibly cover all that needed to be told and he even had to edit the book down by twenty percent. Needless to say, he is gratified that the many included stories will be made public and his efforts will finally come to fruition.

ther as a diamond polisher, working a few years in the Diamond District to help his father support the family, until he was eventually drafted into the U.S. Army. His parents and siblings, who all kept the original family name of Wajsfeld, landed in Brooklyn and in Israel. In 1962, upon completion of his


His Journey Although he initially found his position at Yad Vashem posted on a job board in Israel, Dr. Paldiel couldn’t be more suited to this mission. “I was saved by a Catholic priest in France who arranged for us to cross into Switzerland,” he explains. Born Marcus Wajsfeld in Belgium in 1937, Paldiel and his family fled to France when the Germans invaded. In France the family went from one place to another place until fatefully crossing into Switzerland. The second of six children, Paldiel was taken to a children’s home that

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Mordecai Paldiel with his rescuer, Simon Gallay, in 1990

military service, Paldiel decided to make aliyah and then served in the Israeli Army and studied at Hebrew University. He met his wife, Rachel, an Israeli of Iraqi descent, and together they had three children. Their oldest daughter, Sigalit, was born a few days before the Six Day War. When the war broke out, Rachel and the newborn hid in the building’s bomb shelter as Mordecai went back to fight the war. Afterwards, he worked a few jobs before returning back to the States to further his education, receiving his M.A. and Ph.D. in Holocaust Studies from Temple University in Philadelphia. Paldiel returned to Israel in 1982. It was at that time that his trajectory was set. A friend had helped him secure a job as a Yiddish on-air announcer, yet something drew him to visit an employment office on King George Street. It was there on the office bulletin board that Paldiel saw the notice that Yad Vashem was looking to hire. Despite his intensive education in Holocaust studies, he hadn’t yet heard of the program for Righteous Gentiles. Nevertheless, he interviewed at Yad Vashem, got the job, and remained there until 2007. His work at Yad Vashem understandably led him to thinking about his own experiences and wondering if the cleric who saved him was still alive. Paldiel’s parents were living in Boro Park at the time. He wrote to his parents and urged them to send him all the information about the cleric and the circumstances of how they met him as best as they could

A recent photo of Dr. Paldiel

recall. One of the most meaningful encounters for Paldiel occurred the day a French monk came to see him at Yad Vashem. In Israel on assignment, the robed monk stopped into the office to check on somebody’s tree before heading back to France. Paldiel took advantage of this rare opportunity to ask if perhaps the

Dr. Paldiel with his family at Holocaust Memorial Park in Brooklyn

Today, the traditionally observant Paldiel and his wife Rachel do their best to pass on Jewish pride to their children and five grandchildren, sharing holidays together at their home in New Jersey. Oldest daughter Sigalit “Siggy” works on television and has used the medium to highlight her Israeli and Jewish heritage, even filming her father

“‘I’m the man that arranged for your family to cross over into Switzerland,’ it said, and I almost fell off my chair,” Paldiel recalls.

monk would help find the cleric that had saved his family. The monk agreed to take the information and left. Paldiel thought it was a long shot until a few weeks later he received a postcard from the priest himself. “‘I’m the man that arranged for your family to cross over into Switzerland,’ it said, and I almost fell off my chair,” Paldiel recalls. Paldiel started corresponding with him. On September 19, 1989, Yad Vashem recognized Abbe’ Simon Gallay, the French Catholic cleric who saved six-year-old Mordecai and his family 46 years earlier. In 1990, Paldiel visited Gallay, who was then in a retirement home in France, to award him the prestigious Righteous Among the Nations medal and to give him a certificate of honor. The two were joined at the ceremony by a bishop, a rabbi, local yeshiva boys, and the Israeli ambassador.


saying kiddush for a Shabbat dinner scene (the filming in actuality took place on a Wednesday). Paldiel lectures widely and has even spoken at the United Nations, giving the keynote address at the United Nations Holocaust Memorial Ceremony to the General Assembly in 2013. Paldiel continues to teach courses in Y.U. and at Touro. He would love to spend more time talking about the rescuers but typically doesn’t get that far in the curriculum. He explains that although the students are eager to learn, he needs to make sure they first have a solid grasp of the dates and other details of the Holocaust. He makes sure to tell them a few of the stories of Jewish heroes, such as those of Bielski and Cohn, but insists that they focus more on understanding the history and the timeline of the horrors. Paldiel also teaches the back-

ground of Zionism and all its ups and downs, and that the State of Israel came into being through many efforts – and also miraculously. “No one could foresee it was going to happen. That’s my message – nothing should be taken for granted as a Jewish person. We have to be on guard and we have to be vigilant. There are always people trying to end our history by conversion or assimilation throughout history,” he notes. Paldiel strongly believes that the stories of these heroes need to keep being told and that each Holocaust Remembrance Day should include stories of the Jewish heroes alongside the tragic stories. “There is so much evil and bad things in the world and people sometimes forget that civilization is based on acts of goodness – if there’s no goodness then the whole thing would collapse. Because of good people and people who devote themselves to help others – even at risk to themselves – that gives encouragement, that’s the medicine that helps people to get over things,” says Paldiel. “Maybe one day goodness will be the more prominent feature in human behavior…but at least we have these examples.” “This is not something that somebody imagined and wrote about. It happened,” Paldiel says, “The people who did these things – these heroes – were people that we can identify with, that did it for the simple reason that it had to be done – and not because they expected a medal or a tree.”



OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Quotes The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop. Suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named “Padrino” and “Pomodoro” and ingredients like soppressata, capicollo and a striata baguette. I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican. - New York Times op-ed by columnist David Brooks who wrote how elites like himself are causing the “less educated” to be at a disadvantage

During World War II, Hungary did not comply with this moral and political requirement. This is a sin because at the time we decided that instead of protecting the Jewish community, we chose collaboration with the Nazis. I made it clear to the prime minister that this can never happen again. In the future, the Hungarian government will protect all its citizens. - Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban, at a press conference with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in Hungary this week

We will yield nothing to anti-Zionism, because it is the reinvented form of anti-Semitism.

I knew I could run because I’m always in the yard working, and when the phone rings, I go running inside to answer it. I thought it’d be fun to run 100 meters since I’m more than 100 years old. -101-year-old Julia “Hurricane” Hawkins, of Baton Rouge, who became the oldest female athlete to ever compete in the USA Track and Field Outdoors Masters Championships and ran the 100 meters in 40.12 seconds

[I] missed my nap for this. - Ibid.

- French President Emanuel Macron while visiting, along with Prime Minister Netanyahu, a site where thousands of French Jews were killed in the Holocaust

I think only a real Indian can defeat a fake Indian. -Republican Shiva Ayyadurai, who emigrated from India as a child and is taking on Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) – who has lied about being of Native American descent – in an interview with Fox News about how he plans on winning the 2018 Senate race for Massachusetts

White House chief of staff Reince Priebus has dismissed the latest TrumpRussia story as””a nothingburger.” When questioned about his really strange choice of words, he explained, “My name is Reince Priebus.” - Conan O’Brien


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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015


The most important question I could ask is I know a lot of young people who are feeling somewhat hopeless about this and they read articles and magazines or see interviews on TV and they hear it is too late. You know, don’t even have kids because you will only help destroy the planet and there will be no future for them. Is there hope, Al Gore? - Stephen Colbert on the “Late Night Show” interviewing Al Gore (who made hundreds of millions of dollars off of pedaling his climate change theories) about climate change

I think it’s really important to know what you don’t know and listen to people who do know what you don’t know. - Former President George W. Bush, appearing at an event with former President Bill Clinton, stressing the importance of humility in the Oval Office

The purpose of this email is to remind faculty that student protesters have diverted time and energy from their academic work to promote institutional change and social justice… Many have been involved in this work for the entire academic year and in previous years. – From an email by Evergreen State College’s provost asking professors to consider “the physical and emotional commitment” of student protesters when deciding their final grades

World The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

10 Years Since the Battle of Gaza: Hamas’s Bloody Rise to Power Aaron Feigenbaum June 10-15, 2007 marked one of the most consequential turning points in the entire Israeli-Palestinian conflict, one whose ramifications have directly shaped the course of the conflict to this day. The broiling political tensions between Fatah and Hamas erupted in all-out civil war and fractured “Palestine” into two distinct entities: Gaza – controlled by Hamas – and the West Bank – controlled by Fatah. Fatah was the establishment political party in Gaza; however Hamas, a terrorist organization, had won a legislative majority the previous year. In the months prior to the conflict, Mahmoud Abbas, President of the Palestinian Authority, was under immense pressure, including economic sanctions, from the international community. They expected him to reign in Hamas’ newfound political power and ensure that the Palestinian government was united and willing to uphold the stipulations of the Oslo Accords. Thus, Abbas consolidated his power through presidential decrees and threats of dismissal. Fatah and Hamas soon established competing security forces to maintain their respective holds on power. The effects of the sanctions began to take their toll as the Palestinian economy tanked. The government be-

Palestenian civil war, 2007

Doing homework by candlelight

came isolated from the international community. Clashes broke out in December 2006, but Fatah security forces were ill-equipped to defend themselves. Meanwhile, with Israel’s approval, the U.S., Egypt, Turkey, and Jordan began providing arms and training to Abbas’s presidential guard. Frustrated by Hamas’s unwillingness to abide by the conditions set forth by the international community, Abbas and the PLO developed a secret plan to unseat Hamas from power that involved announcing a state of emergency and dismissing the current cabinet, following which would be a new election. Having been aware of Fatah’s plans, Hamas decided to make a preemptive strike against the ruling party on June 10, 2007. Over the next five days, Hamas rapidly took

Fatah party flag

control of key Fatah installations including the Palestinian Preventive Security Service, through which Fatah had smuggled in military equipment from Israel and America. On June 14th, Abbas announced an end to the Hamas-Fatah unity government. The next day, the Gaza Strip was completely under Hamas’ control and the Palestinian Authority was de facto divided in two. An estimated 118 people were killed and over 500 wounded during the fighting. The international community announced it would end its sanctions against the Abbas government while Egypt and Israel announced a blockade of Gaza. Today, Gaza is still suffering from Hamas’ iron-fisted rule. Instead of using international aid to repair the destruction from the wars it provoked, Hamas uses the

Hamas logo

resources to recruit more terrorists, build more tunnels, and manufacture rockets. Meanwhile, Gaza’s water and electricity infrastructure are in an abysmal state and the U.N. has warned of an extreme humanitarian crisis in the next few years. Unfortunately, as long as Hamas’s stated goal of destroying Israel remains, and as long as they continue to pursue their terrorist agenda, Israel and Egypt are compelled to maintain the blockade. Several attempts have been made at reconstituting the Hamas-Fatah unity government (the latest one of which was announced in January of this year) but all have so far failed. Thus, until Hamas is either overthrown or finally abandons its extremist ideology, the peace process is essentially dead in the water, and Gazans have little hope of their situation improving.

Ask the Attorney

Hit by a Police Car During a Pursuit? Michael Rubinstein, Esq. Los Angeles is known for many things— the sunny weather, and a laid back lifestyle chief among them. Yet, nearly every week the news reports another high-speed police chase that occurs on the freeways surrounding the Los Angeles metropolitan area. With the iconic images of the LAPD pursuing a fleeing OJ Simpson in June of 1994, police pursuits are ingrained in Los Angeles popular culture. So the question arises: what happens if a police vehicle crashes into a bystander during a pursuit? The answer might be surprising. The California Vehicle Code provides immunity to law enforcement agencies for injuries arising out of police pursuits, whether the collision is caused by the police car or the fleeing one. Specifically, section 17004.7 states: “a public agency employing peace officers that adopts and promulgates a written policy on, and provides regular and periodic training on an annual basis for, vehicular pursuits. immune from liability for civil damages for personal injury to or death of any person or damage to property resulting from the collision of a vehicle being operated by an actual or suspected violator of the

law who is being, has been, or believes he or she is being or has been, pursued in a motor vehicle by a peace officer employed by the public entity.” The Code goes on to say that police agencies have the authority to enact their own pursuit policies. The surprising fact is that there is no uniform policy across all state police agencies—it is up to each department to promulgate their own procedures for ensuring the safest police pursuit practices. For example, in Los Angeles County, pursuit practices diverge sharply between the Los Angeles Police Department and the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department. The Sheriff’s Department recently empaneled a Civil Grand Jury to investigate the

Department’s vehicle pursuit practices. The Grand Jury provided some troubling background statistics: • More than 5,000 innocent bystanders and passengers have been killed across the United States in police chases since 1979—322 in 2013 alone; • 91% of police chases are initiated in response to a non-violent crime; • California leads the nation in highspeed pursuit deaths; • Injuries occurred in the City of Los Angeles in 15% of police pursuits in 2015. The Grand Jury also compared the training received by Sheriff’s Deputies and officers of the LAPD in the area of police pursuits. The Sheriff’s Department uses outof-date vehicles that are no longer used in the field. Deputies are not required to re-certify after completing the training, and the simulations do not include real-world stimuli like traffic lights or residential streets. In contrast, the LAPD’s simulator uses a fleet of police cars that is comparable to those used in the field, and the training provides real-lifelike pursuit situations for the officers undergoing the training. The conclusions were that police pursuits

too often result in unnecessary bystander injuries and deaths. Most pursuits are not provoked by serious crimes, and law enforcement agencies need to do a better job of balancing the safety of the surrounding population against the seriousness of the crime that aroused the officer’s attention. Finally, are the police always immune when causing a crash? Of course not! Each situation is unique. An officer who rear ends another vehicle during regular driving would be viewed differently than, say, one who collides with another car during a police chase. And someone injured in a collision caused by a driver fleeing from police could still hold the driver of the fleeing car responsible for any injuries. Each scenario is unique, as are the statute of limitations involving public police agencies. It’s a good idea to consult an attorney for advice about your particular experience. Michael Rubinstein is a Los Angeles based personal injury and accident attorney. He may be reached by visiting, or by calling 213-293-6075.



Parenting The Week In News

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

Proactive Parenting: Dipping into their Bag of Tricks Sara Teichman, Psy D

Dear Dr.T., I wouldn’t say that my kids are bad kids – maybe they are a little spoiled? I don’t know. The point is that they drive me crazy when they want something. They are better with my husband and – wouldn’t you know – angels in school. Here’s what it’s like: My five-year-old whines and nags till he gets “it.” “It” could be Shabbos cereal, a new toy, whatever. Lots of kids do that, but I think he is over the top. He can go on all day! And even in public places like the market. I try very hard not to give in, but it really gets on my nerves, and it is so very embarrassing. My eight-year-old daughter does not carry on, but is not above lying. She will tell me, “Tatty said…” or “Morah insists...” She will deny taking a cookie or breaking her brother’s toy. I hear other moms saying the same things. I don’t know if I am just too critical or the situation is out of control. Honestly, I don’t really get what is going on, and I worry that my overreaction (is it an overreaction?) is making all this worse. How do I get this stuff to stop? Maya Dear Maya, To get it all to stop, you have to first understand what is going on. For the sake of this article, I am going to assume that your children do not have any physical or mental challenges that complicate this picture. Let’s assume that they are basically typical kids, albeit with some unpleasant behavior.

As every young mother knows, each baby is born with a different temperament and different reactions. His environment and interactions with his parents mold these reactions and create a pattern of behavior. What I am saying here is what you already know: we are not born behaving in any particular way, but rather learn how to behave from the way our environment and

close relationships impact our being. Each one of us learns “a bag of tricks” to get us to our goals. Even as adults, we may be polite and respectful – or dishonest and manipulative. We may criticize harshly or flatter shamelessly. Somehow, we develop a go-to strategy to maneuver through life. But, as we move forward, we can – and hopefully do – recalibrate and modify our script. We may decide to be more assertive, or less aggressive; not so passive, or so confrontational. In short, we give up some of our tricks and pick up some others instead. Well, let’s apply this to your children. Somewhere down the road they picked up some negative behavior. I would guess that they even know that what they are doing is wrong, unpleasant, and damaging to their relationship with their parents. After all, they have seen your reaction – which more than likely includes some harsh words and/ or negative consequences. So, why do they hold on to this bag? The answer is simple: because it works! And, in all fairness – because they are so young – they simply don’t what else to do instead. In their immature minds, they need to dip into their bag to get their wants and needs met. It is our job as parents to help them learn more pro-social strategies. Why your children picked up this bag is not as important as getting them to drop it. But, for the curious, behavior that you reinforce will last. I would guess that some of the whining did its trick – maybe when you were too distracted to put an end to it. So, for example, when your son begs for chips while in the check-out line, you may have simply given in. But kids are smart. If a little kvetching begets chips, imagine what a whole onslaught might bring! With each incident, the stakes are higher and the behavior is more firmly entrenched. Similarly, I would bet that your daughter knows she is lying and is simply manipulating you to get what she wants. Eightyear-olds know the difference between fact and fiction. But, why learn negotiating skills when she can simply create a scenario that gets her what she wants? At this point, it’s time for a change. Change is a gradual process and needs your direction, but it can be done. Begin by identifying

for yourself what needs to change. Be limited and specific; target one clear area. More important than saying what has to stop is saying what has to happen now. Ask for whatever you want with a nice voice. Tell me what really happened, not a made-up story. Once the desired behavior is clear to your child, follow the two principles of behaviorism to make it stick. 1. Ignore. Easier said than done, but ignore other non-targeted behaviors when possible, so that the focus is on what has to happen now. Also ignore small lapses. Remember, change is a gradual, not all-ornothing, practice. Moishe starts off by begging and whining for a prize in the market – but then stops short. He doesn’t exactly say, “please,” but he does remember to finish in a quieter voice. Moishe has learned something, so you can afford to ignore his opening. 2. Use positive reinforcement. We all learn best when rewarded. We work for pay, dress up for compliments, study for a good grade. When a behavior is rewarded enough times, it becomes second nature. Positive reinforcement for good behavior pays off. Everytime Rikki tells it like it is – no embellishment, drama, or manipulation – she gets a big smile, compliments, and sometimes even a treat or prize. Eventually, she will learn that honesty does pay. What I describe here is an outline of how we can help our children change. Obviously, there are many small steps and actions involved in the execution of this plan – far more than can be enumerated in this article. I encourage my readers to continue to seek answers by joining a parent group, reading articles and books, and listening to lectures. Change can happen – and it is for us to figure out how best to achieve this goal. The Book Nook: 1-2-3-Magic for Kids: Helping Your Kids Understand the New Rules is a delightful book for children of all ages (parents included). In this book, the authors, Thomas Phelan and Tracy Lee, write a kid-friendly version of their classic 1-2-3-Magic series. Kid friendly, with wonderful illustrations. Sara Teichman, Psy D. is a psychotherapist in private practice in Los Angeles and Clinical Director of ETTA, L.A.’s largest Jewish agency for adults with special needs. To submit a question or comment, email

JULY 20, 2017 | The Jewish Home

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