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The Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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The Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

‫ב“ה‬

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About Menachem.

He’s charming, charismatic —and when he tells a story, he tends to embellish it. An expert at fudging the facts. Will he ever be trustworthy?

Personable, with a great sense of humor. He goes through the motions (barely), but seems indifferent to Yiddishkeit. I worry for him.

It’s just a disguise.

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The Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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Dear readers, Being the final paper before this year’s presidential election, I want to share some thoughts pertaining to it. Yiddishkeit puts tremendous emphasis on having a refined character, whether it be the way one behaves or the way one speaks. Indeed, in this week’s parashah the Torah says “…and from the animals which are not pure…” instead of using the word tamei, impure to avoid using negative language unless a must. This being said, when it comes to voting for an elected official, actions carry the day. We need to ask ourselves: Do I agree with the majority of laws passed in the previous four years? Do I agree with the choice of people nominated as judges, heads of departments, and ambassadors? Do I like the way President Trump has handled our relationship with Russia, China, Iran, Israel, ISIS, Syria, and the rest of the Middle East? Am I happy with the direction the country is heading financially? Do I like the laws Senator Biden has supported? Do I like the people he has surrounded himself with? Do I like his record of his 47 years in Washington? The way I see it we should be voting for another four years of what we’ve seen, instead of a continuation of business as usual in Washington a Biden presidency would bring. Perhaps we should go kicking and screaming, but bottom line we should vote for Donald J. Trump to be president for the next four years. May Jews in the United States continue to live in peace and success right through the coming of Mashiach Tzidkeinu. May it be very soon. Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos,

Shalom

T H E P R E M I E R J E W I S H N E W S PA P E R H I G H L I G H T I N G L A’ S O R T H O D OX C O M M U N I T Y The Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. Opinions expressed by writers are not neces­sarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The Jewish Home contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly. FOR HOME DELIVERY, OR TO HAVE THE LATEST ISSUE EMAILED TO YOU FREE OF CHARGE, SEND A MESSAGE TO EDITOR@JEWISHHOMELA.COM


The Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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TheHappenings Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

LINK Kollel Hosts 28th Yahrzeit Commemoration of Rav Simcha Wasserman, ZT”L Rabbi Eli Stern

The LINK Kollel of Los Angeles hosted a special yahrzeit commemoration for one of L.A.’s most prominent gedolim, Rav Simcha Wasserman, ZT”L, on the evening of 2 Cheshvan (October 19th). The program was held outdoors in LINK’s courtyard because of COVID restrictions and live streamed via Zoom to many other viewers. Rav Simcha (as he was universally known) was the son of HaGaon Rav Elchonon Wasserman, HY”D, and a gadol b’Torah in his own right. After escaping Europe at the outbreak of the War, he first came to Detroit to build up Torah,

and then, in the early 1950s, he came to Los Angeles—at the time, veritable desert of Yiddishkeit. He had the audacious vision to build a traditional yeshiva, a high school and bais medresh, in what seemed to be inhospitable soil. In addition, he labored for many years in the then unheard-of field of kiruv rechokim, reaching out to secular youth and adults, teaching them the beauty of Torah. He left L.A. in 1978 to found Yeshivas Ohr Elchonon in Yerushalayim, where he was niftar at the age of 92 in 1992. Two talmidim of his from his sojourn in L.A. gave vivid recollec-

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tions of their memories of Rav Simcha. Mr. Hershey Zisblatt learned in the high school division of the Yeshiva in the early 1970s. He began with the striking observation that Reb Simcha could have been the Rosh HaYeshiva of one of the greatest yeshivos of America but chose instead to work with boys coming from irreligious or marginally religious backgrounds to plant seeds for the future. He recalled how Rav Simcha would often answer the boys’ questions by nonchalantly opening a Gemara to the exact spot that referenced their inquiries. In his great humility, he would bring the food needed for the boys’ breakfasts every morning in his car to the Yeshiva. He was very warm to every student and encouraged them in their learning. Mr. Zisblatt told a poignant story of a new high school student who did not have a religious upbringing who met Rav Simcha upon exiting the bathroom in the dormitory. When Rav Simcha realized that the 14-year-old student did not know of the brachah of asher yotzar, he lovingly took him by the hand, brought him into the bais medresh, and showed him exactly where in the siddur he could find the blessing. The bochur never ceased making that brachah ever since. The other speaker was Mr. Mark Abraham, who began to learn with Rav Simcha in the late 1970s as a young man becoming observant. He recalled how Rav Simcha would lovingly repeat each piece of gemara four times to the adult students while tape-recording his words. He told them to play it back until they had perfected the meaning and cadence of the Aramaic words. He averred that Rav Simcha had the uncanny gift of being able to make the most complicated gemara un-

derstood with a clarity that even a beginner could comprehend. After he moved to Eretz Yisrael, Rav Simcha would often return to L.A. and visit the nascent baal teshuva community in the Venice neighborhood. Once, at the Abrahams’ house, Mrs. Abraham offered Rav Simcha a cup of tea, which he graciously accepted. When she subsequently made another cup for her husband, Rav Simcha smiled broadly and exclaimed, “What chessed!” The Abrahams were awed by Rav Simcha’s discerning observation. Mr. Abraham recounted several memorable divrei Torah that Rav Simcha would say over. One was in reference to ahavas Yisrael. He said that the true source for this was the well-known Rashi in Parshas Yisro commenting on the unique unity of Klal Yisrael as they encamped at Har Sinai. Rashi uses the famous terminology “k’ish echad b’lev echad”—“like one person with one heart.” This teaches us that true love for one’s fellow Jew encompasses the desire to see him succeed as much as oneself. Another favorite teaching of his was about Parshas Noach, where Noah tragically “defiles” himself by beginning the post-diluvium world by planting a vineyard (which leads to his utter debasement). Asks Rav Simcha, what exactly was Noah’s flaw? As a survivor of the greatest destruction that the world has ever known, Noah did not have the luxury to wallow in self-pity (the comfort of the wine). Rather, exclaimed Rav Simcha, his first task was to build a new world (symbolized by planting wheat). Concluded Mr. Abraham, that lesson is what animated Rav Simcha in his “planting” seeds of Torah in America after the Churban in Europe. We are all in his debt today.


OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News

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The Week In News Living with the Times

By Rabbi Pinchos Lipschutz Publisher of the Yated Ne’eman

We learn this week about the Mabul that destroyed the entire world, except for Noach, his family and representative animals, who were all saved in the teivah. Rashi (Bereishis 6:13) enlightens us as to what caused the flood and the destruction. He cites the Medrash (Bereishis Rabbah 26:5), which states that wherever there is overwhelming immorality and avoda zorah, devastation comes to the world, killing the good along with the bad. For 120 years, Noach warned the population that if they would not improve their ways, a flood would come and wipe them out. They didn’t listen. He begged and pleaded. He told them that G-d had spoken to him and told him that He was planning to destroy the world. The people weren’t impressed. They weren’t affected. No doubt, their news providers told them that there had never been such a flood before and that scientifically it wasn’t possible for the entire world to be destroyed. The politicians delivered speeches informing people of their rights, and as the world tilted increasingly lower, they were reassured that they were within their constitutional liberties and no harm would befall them. Noach was no doubt portrayed as an anti-science and anti-progress demagogue who was standing in the way of progress. In our day, as well, the world has become insensitive to messages of morality and the world sinks further into a liberal morass. A pandemic sweeps across this country and the world and scientists, doctors and political leaders, are unable to stop it. Despite their best attempts, the virus continues to spread. The values that were at the core of this country are being suppressed. Individualism has been replaced with lumping everyone together in groups. “Group think” is in. Agree with me or I will seek to have you cancelled. One of the mainstays of this country is free speech and the right for people to express their opinion. That ability is increasingly being hampered. Certain opinions are promoted and are allowed to be heard, while others are increasingly being shut down. Many people currently get their information from social media, which is increasingly shutting down talk they disagree with. Just see what happened last week, when a major American newspaper, which happens to be conservative, revealed documented proof that Joe Biden set up his son to profit from his connections. The son shared the proceeds with his

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Noose is Tightening father and the rest of the family. The story was suppressed on social media and kept out of the mainstream press. If your conversation doesn’t fit with the current progressive narrative, it and you will be cancelled out. Repression of speech and thought, especially regarding our community and beliefs, is perilous and can prove very damaging to us. If we can’t get our message out, in times such as now, when every media outlet is dumping on Orthodox Jews and presenting us as the underlying cause of the coronavirus spread, we will continue to be scape-goated for every problem in society. And there are many problems. If the governor of New York State and the mayor of New York City are able to

out, losing their job and reputation. The fear of becoming ostracized keeps everyone in line, spouting the new groupthink and politically correct incantations. The new buzzword is “white supremacy,” and it is increasingly prevalent. It means that the United States of America - its culture, businesses, sports, education system and everything about it - is deeply rooted in sin. At its core, they say, America is an evil country, rotten to its core. Everything, from schools and language to the economy, museum hirings, professorships, SAT scores, mortgages and politics, is mired in white supremacy. White people are encouraged to apologize for their whiteness. In the name of increasing diversity and righting historical

We must act with moral clarity and decency to improve the world and ourselves.

successfully single us out for derision, scorn, mockery and punishment without any objection raised to their bullying, that does not portend well for our future here. They demonize, intimidate, threaten and persecute us in typical Alinsky fashion, and we are unable to fight back or set the record straight. It is not about masks and it is not about health, for if it was, why is only one subset of citizens being singled out for condemnation, vilification and tough enforcement? The Orthodox hot spots are not the areas of the highest percentage of virus penetration in New York State, yet there isn’t anyone who doesn’t believe that it is. If we, and America, are not careful, it can become the way of the land. Free speech is not the only value on the chopping block. So is the presumption of innocence, the value of the individual, the right to think for yourself, judging each person fairly based on their own accomplishments and character, the appreciation of a person who works hard to support themselves and other values this country endowed its citizens with. These values have been replaced with new words and new concepts that are foisted upon the American people. Those who dare to question or speak out are cancelled

wrongs, whole swaths of white people are pegged as colonialists, racists, oppressors and worse. Of course, Jews fall neatly into all of the above categories. Jews and Zionists are bad. Black Lives Matter is good. AOC is the future; Ronald Reagan is the past. Leftist looters and demonstrators are good, while Yiddelach who want to daven with a minyan are evil. As the country convulses over the way the black minority was historically treated, Jewish people, though relative newcomers to this land who have faced oppression and discrimination wherever they have lived, are publicly condemned by leading politicians without compunction or response. The gloves are coming off and we have to face up to the fact that we are still in golus and the noose might be tightening. No matter what you think about Joe Biden, the Democrat Party has increasingly lurched left and is now controlled by progressive socialists and anti-Semites. Should the Democrats gain power this year, we may very well be in for rough times, and we will not be able to endear ourselves to the new bosses simply by wearing masks and complying with the law. There is no telling what they will come up with. Let’s hope we don’t get there, but we need to know the danger ahead and understand

our responsibility when we step into the voting booth. What do we do? How do we react to the changing temperature and zeitgeist? Rav Aharon Leib Shteinman had an interesting insight into why Noach was saved from annihilation. He cited the Medrash that comments on the posuk, “V’eileh toldos Noach,” that he was “noach laShomayim v’noach labrios.” Noach was a gentle person, who was pleasant to all. There were other fine people in his day, but they weren’t as pleasing as he was, and so he was saved and they weren’t. Rav Shteinman added, “There are many rough people who get into fights over everything. Those people weren’t saved. The one who was saved was Noach, because, as the Medrash says, he was pleasant in the way he conducted himself, in the way he spoke and in the way he dealt with people.” We should be examining how we act and how we sound to other people if we want to be spared from the ongoing pandemic and political revolution. It would seem that one way to save ourselves would be to act in a way that will find favor with Hashem and everyone we come in contact with. Rav Shlomo Kluger wrote in his tzavaah to his son that he should frequent the home of Rav Chaim Volozhiner and “thirstily drink his words, examining his sterling middos and adopting them as part of your own behavior. See how he speaks softly and calmly with everyone and with a content look on his face. See how he shows respect to children and young people, and how that brings about friendship and a communal love. See how his conduct causes people to respect him, as Chazal say, ‘Who is respected? The one who respects others.’” As the world spins out of control, and as the pandemic continues, it is tempting to be fretful and despondent, fatigued over the stubborn bug and apathetic about trying to prevent the spread. We can be forgiven if we become dejected, as these times are frustrating and anxious. However, we must learn from Noach and act with moral clarity and decency to improve the world and ourselves. We must be decent and good, while trusting in Hashem and praying that He remove the pestilence from among us and that our actions cause us to find favor in His eyes and the eyes of man.


OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News

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The Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

With a relentless m we cannot ignore the ge

The message from s

not talking in shu protection appr

‫מר לצרתינז די‬ do it for yourself... do it for your family... do


OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News

mageifa in our midst edolim of previous doros

shomayim is clear!

ul is a guaranteed roved by Gedolim

‫הקב״ה י‬ it for Klal Yisrael

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Sarah's The WeekCorner In News

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OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Everyone is Battling Sarah Pachter

Is $50,000 a lot of money? Most would say, “Absolutely.” However, our impression of $50,000 all depends on the context. $50,000 for dinner for two at a restaurant would be considered outrageous. The same amount for a newly built, three-story home in Los Angeles would be considered nothing! A mitzvah can feel like either a burden or a gift. Do we carry around our responsibilities to our family and Hashem as though we are paying $50,000 for a meal or for a beautiful home? The task at hand is the same, but what we feel we are getting in return for our efforts is what makes all the difference in our life. When we perform mitzvot, the question is, what are we “paying” out in effort and what are we “getting” back in return? Rabbi Shlomo Teichel shares a beautiful answer. “If someone tells you that there is a bag weighing 200 pounds outside, and if you carry it across the street, the contents will be yours to keep, it would probably be too difficult to do. Most people can’t carry 200 pounds. But if the person tells you the bag is full of diamonds, you will find a way to do it, because you want the diamonds.”1 Our life’s goal is to transform our pekele of responsibilities into a sack of diamonds. The yetzer hara is cunning, and utilizes a multitude of tricks to cause us to view life through the lens of a burden. This is one of the yetzer hara’s greatest tactics to lead us to aveirot. With coronavirus on the forefront of everyone’s mind, it feels like we are on a constant battlefield. We are being tested as parents, spouses, and children every second. This is a chance to build real middot in our lives as we face each new nisayon. Having children, a spouse, and in-laws

1

Sarah Yocheved Rigler, Emunah with Love and Chicken Soup, pg. 105

should all elicit gratitude and joy, yet the yetzer hara uses these relationships to create anger, tension, and challenges. One such trick of the yetzer hara is called “The Double Whammy,” which occurs when the yetzer hara strikes twice in succession. For example, suppose your in-law makes a snide remark. You manage to remain calm, and react with grace. Later, when alone with your spouse, you replay the comment and share pride in combating the yetzer hara. As you recount the conversation, you suddenly become upset about the comment and agitated with your spouse for not validating you. Now, you are stewing. Bam! The yetzer hara has attacked again. What we don’t realize about The Double Whammy is that the initial comment was just the set-up. The conversation with your spouse was the second slam, and the real test. Now your shalom bayit is compromised, a victory for the yetzer hara. Other times, we fail the set-up, which puts us in a negative frame of mind. This leaves us vulnerable for the yetzer hara to attack when we are down.2 The yetzer hara, which works for Hashem, is merely doing its job when it continually strikes and causes us to blunder. Whenever we are tested, we must be prepared for The Double Whammy, and strengthen ourselves to do Hashem’s will. I have prepared three battle plans to help fight the yetzer hara and come out stronger. Product Royalty The Baal HaTanya explains that life is a battle between the animal soul and the spiritual soul. We struggle between both desires and are often willing to partake in spiritual pursuits so long as it does not interfere with our physical desires. One way to bridge this gap between the higher and lower soul is by utilizing the concept of “product loyalty.” Product

2

Heller and Rigler, Battle Plans, pg. 271

loyalty is the phenomenon of a consumer showing devotion to a product through repeated purchases, despite alternate companies’ attempts to lure them away.3 Studies show that when a customer chooses a product such as dish soap, it is extremely hard for a competitor to persuade a switch to their brand. Most clients will simply stay with what is known and comfortable. It is hard to steer away from whatever we are immersed in. When we surround ourselves with something enjoyable that is physical, it’s much harder to leave that physicality for something spiritual. The reverse is true as well. Rebbetzin Sarah Yocheved Rigler shares the following example. Imagine you are at the Western Wall and ushering in Shabbat with a packed crowd. Singing and dancing fill the air, and the warmth and joy of each person connecting is indescribable. Suppose while everyone is praying in unison, someone calls out from the group, “Hurry! I just found out about a sale at Saks Fifth Avenue! 30% off their entire website!” How many people would race to leave the spirituality of the moment to pursue something more physical? Not a huge percentage. Product loyalty dictates that we will stay right where we are. Conversely, when you are in the midst of a massive sale at a department store, after spotting a beautiful, modest dress at a perfect price, it would be hard to drop the dress to join a tehillim gathering. It is hard to pull away from whatever we are “loyal” to at the moment. Surround yourself with spirituality to induce “product loyalty” to Hashem’s mitzvot. If we keep this in mind, the yetzer hara is at a disadvantage when trying to entice us to fail.4 Lofty Goal Exposure The more frequently we are exposed to

3 https://www.investopedia.com/terms/b/ brand-loyalty.asp 4

Heller and Rigler, Battle Plans, Pg. 225

an advertisement, the more impact it can have on our psyche.5 This behavior goes beyond marketing—the more we see anything, the more we desire it. We can make this work to our advantage in the spiritual realm. Consider placing magnets on the fridge to remind ourselves not to speak lashon hara or to increase emunah. Seeing this repeatedly has a psychological impact on our actions. Expose yourself to greatness by reading stories of gedolim or creating a group of friends whose priorities are chessed and Torah. Through these examples, we can increase our exposure to the actions of lofty people and their goals, which in turn empowers our yetzer tov to achieve them. Hashem is Always Watching Pirkei Avot writes, “Know before whom you stand and will have to give accounting to.” When my husband and I lived in New York, we placed hidden cameras throughout our home for security. One evening while watching the footage, we discovered that our housekeeper took the liberty of drinking straight from our gallon of juice, only to place the large carton right back in the fridge! Next, she laid down on the couch to rest—for four hours! Even though we were not physically at home, we were watching everything. Although Hashem is not physically present in our lives, He is watching and guiding our every move. The Shema, which testifies that Hashem is the one and only G-d in the universe, expresses this idea. The last letter of shema, ayin, and the last letter of echad, daled, spell the word “eid”—witness. Hashem is our witness and sees our every move; therefore, we must act accordingly. Product loyalty, lofty goals, and remembering Hashem is watching are some of the greatest assets we have in combating the yetzer hara during times of difficulty. These tools can help us view our Torah observance as a relationship rather than just a responsibility. We might still be paying a high sum, but the mitzvot we acquire will make it feel like we are getting a steal of a deal. We are all battling, but with these techniques in mind, we can start winning and begin viewing mitzvot like the diamonds that they are.

5 https://thefinancialbrand.com/42323/advertising-marketing-messages-effective-frequency/


The Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

More than

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Really fascinating!

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Can't wait for the next one!

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Feature The Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

FROM CAMPUS RADIO TO HEBREW HITS By Malky Lowinger

What’s a nice girl from Cedarhurst with a traditional yeshiva background doing on the radio? And how did this personable young lady come to host a popular podcast that is listened to by thousands of followers worldwide each week? Meet Malya, a determined Five Townser who decided to follow her passion.

MALYA

Feivelson will be the first person to tell you that her chosen career is certainly not typical for a girl who went to the standard Five Towns schools and seminary in Eretz Yisroel. “I did the typical schools,” she says, “but I decided not to do the typical things.” Not typical indeed. Upon returning from her seminary year in Eretz Yisroel, Malya found herself faced with plenty of choices. She considered going into law, or perhaps interior decorating. But she also had what she likes to call “a crazy passion”

and “a fire inside of me.” It’s a passion and a fire that she would pursue, eventually leading her to host Hebrew Hits, an inspiring radio show featured on j*tribe radio that is capturing the attention of an ever-growing audience. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Malya’s story started about three years ago, while she was attending college. At that time, she was majoring in pre-law. One day, she randomly received an email notification from the university that one of the classes she enrolled in for the following semes-


The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Feature The Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

ter had been cancelled. She would have to choose something else in that time slot. “I scrolled through the available classes,” says Malya, “and I noticed that they were offering a class in radio production. I figured I should give it a try.” It was a life-changing moment for Malya. “I walked into the studio on the first day of class,” Malya remembers, “and I immediately felt that this is where I belong.” Being the only Bais Yaakov girl in the class, she was clearly different than the other students. Nevertheless, says Malya, “I was in my comfort zone.” Malya was a newcomer to the world of radio, but she was passionate and driven. After just a few weeks, she decided to visit a radio station located on campus to see if she could get a job. On that very first day, the director saw Malya as an ambitious self starter with inborn radio talent. On impulse, he asked her to host the evening news that night. It was intimidating, to be sure, but Malya recognized it as a golden opportunity. “Halfway through that very first show,” she recalls, “the director said to me, ‘Malya, you sound golden on the mic!’” In the end, Malya spent two and a half years as a broadcaster at that campus radio station, learning everything she could about the business. Nothing could stand in her way. “I was scheduled to host the morning show,” she shares. “That meant I had to wake up at 5:00 a.m., even on freezing cold winter days. I was shivering and exhausted, but I was also so excited so I pushed myself to do it.” She hosted the news on that station and also served as a DJ. Despite the crazy hours, it was a huge learning and growing experience. “They taught me how to be the best that I could be,” she says. What did Malya’s family think about her chosen career? Her parents, she said, were a little surprised but they also understood that she was super-focused and determined. “They are so happy for me,” says Malya, “because they understand that this is my passion.”

But there were plenty of naysayers. “I got pushed down many times,” Malya admits, “by people in the community who told me it’s never going to happen, it’s not appropriate for a girl like me, and so on.” But Malya chooses to ignore the negativity and focus on the positive. “I am focused on growth,” she asserts. “I am determined to succeed, and my goal is to be the best that I can be.” Clearly, the industry recognized her talents. At one point, Malya was a finalist for “Best Voiceover” at the Radio Awards. “The awards ceremony was on Shabbos,” she notes, “so I couldn’t attend. But there was also a session on Friday which I did attend and where I made lots of connections.” Driven by her passion and a powerful ambition, Malya met famed radio personality Ryan Seacrest’s team and eventually reached out to the producers of his show on iHeartRadio. She was determined to break into the next level of radio production, so she flew to California last summer to visit their studio. The producers were delighted to meet an aspiring radio hopeful, and she learned a lot from that experience. “They told me that if I want to succeed in this business I’ll have to put my heart and soul into it.” So far so good. But they also explained that ultimate success comes only to those who are willing to give up on everything else. In short, to make it in radio she would have to forego the future she was hoping for, her friends, her family, and perhaps even her value system. “That,” Malya declares, “I wasn’t ready to do.” It was a soul searching moment for Malya. She had reached a true turning point that would determine the trajectory of the rest of her life. “Let me explain,” she says. “Radio isn’t just a job. It’s a family. Your coworkers aren’t simply your colleagues. They are everything. You eat together, you party together, and you hang out together. Clearly, I was different, and my colleagues respected me for that. But if I were to continue in the business, I realized that inevitably I would have to give up on the lifestyle I was living and my plans for the future.” She wasn’t ready to let that happen. It was a difficult decision because Malya knew she had the talent for success. When she visited WFAN radio in New York, sports radio personality Shaun Morash told her, “I meet many people but I can count on one hand those who have real talent. You are one of them. You have a great radio voice

“When it was Mincha time, they would close the door to my room and tell each other, ‘Malya is praying. Let’s be quiet.’”

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29, 2015 | The Jewish Home Feature TheOCTOBER Week In News

“People think a girl who works in radio couldn’t possibly be religious. That hurts.”

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

and your passion and enthusiasm comes through.” But Malya is committed to her ideals and she is not willing to give up on her dreams of living a Torah lifestyle, eventually getting married, and starting a family. And while she tries not to focus on “the radio thing” while dating, it often comes up. “I dated a guy from who lives out of town,” she says. “We didn’t discuss radio at all, until we pulled up in front of my house. That’s when he told me that he had listened to my show and that his sister is a fan. I think he was reluctant to bring it up until the very end of the date, which was totally awkward.” Malya is often forced to clear up misconceptions about her chosen career. “My sister once mentioned to someone that I daven Mincha, and they were totally shocked. People think a girl who works in radio couldn’t possibly be religious. That hurts.” In fact, Malya’s hashkofos seem to be spot on. As soon as she started working at her first job in radio, she made it crystal clear that she will not shake hands or share high-fives with her coworkers. She also abstained from participating in the frequent pizza parties, even just to socialize. And of course, she explained that she wouldn’t be available on Shabbos and yom tov. “I volunteered to work on their holidays instead, and they were fine with that.” Once she proved herself at work, Malya’s coworkers accepted her standards and, in fact, respected her for them. “They saw that I was proud of being Jewish,” she says. “When it was Mincha time, they would close the door to my room and tell each other, ‘Malya is praying. Let’s be quiet.’ In general, they were more respectful when I was around, even toning down the cursing and inappropriate language.”

NO

doubt it was difficult for Malya to give up on radio. But often, when one door closes, Hashem opens up another. She wondered whether her talents could be used to service her own community and began to do some research. Eventually, Malya stumbled upon j*tribe radio, a Jewish radio station featuring weekly podcasts and intriguing content. She reached out to producer Yossi Axelrod who was thrilled to find an aspiring, energetic, talented, and experienced radio personality who wanted to work with him. “It was a bit of a transition for me,” Malya notes, “because it’s podcasting rather than live radio.” But she hit the ground running and created a platform for herself as an engaging interviewer and radio

host with her own Thursday evening program called Hebrew Hits. When the pandemic hit, Hebrew Hits turned out to be the greatest blessing. “Everything got shut down,” she says, “except for these podcasts, which we could do from home.” Malya chooses to focus her Hebrew Hits interviews on Jewish personalities who are inspirational. She has already recorded 32 episodes, and has interviewed well-known personalities such as Cantor Joel Kaplan, Zezy Fuld, Yaakov Langer, Shlomo Levinger, Ben Taplin, and Micky Klein. Hebrew Hits can be listened to anytime via Spotify, Google podcast, Apple podcast, Stitcher and most streaming apps. With close to ten thousand listeners, Malya has built up a significant following in a remarkably short time. “I started Hebrew Hits playing music by popular Jewish artists,” she says. “And while I still play music, the focus of my show has evolved into interviewing people to share their stories. Everyone I interview has a life story that follows my show’s mantra of ‘It’s what you do with what you have that makes a difference.’” She makes it look easy but it’s not. “I spend many hours on each interview,” she relates. “First, I do tons of research on my guests. Then I reach out personally to each guest by phone, which can take up to three hours. Afterwards, I formulate my questions, and then the fun part is the actual interview itself.” Finally, Malya spends up to six hours editing the program until she is satisfied with the results. “There’s a lot of technical stuff as well and I do it all myself. Basically, this took over my life.” But she’s never been happier. She has found her calling and is living her dream. And to all the young women who are sitting at the crossroads, searching for a sense of direction, she has a message to share. “Follow your heart. If you have a passion, go after it. Don’t settle for being a copy of somebody else. Be the best possible you.” And ignore the skeptics. “So many people told me I’m wasting my time,” says Malya. “They tried to discourage me but I didn’t let it happen. Instead, I focus on the positive feedback.” As she builds her platform, Malya is looking forward to a bright future in Jewish radio. With her positive attitude, her talents, her passion and her determination, chances are she will go far. “When I’m old and gray,” she says, “I want to look back and say I did everything I could to make it happen.”


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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Notable The Week Quotes In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

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Notable Quotes

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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“Say What?!”

If we’re actually going to be an antiracist school district, weadvice have toonconfront We urgently need your how practices like this thatinfluence have gone on for you could use your to convey years and years. a message / signal, etc. to stop what we - consider The San Diego District’s Superintendent toSchool be politically motivated explaining actions.

I said, “You’re not having my money!” I couldn’t find the panic button, so I got my stick and I really belted him with it. - An 83-year-old shopkeeper in England who repeatedly wacked a 28-year-old robber with the cane she used after breaking her hip three years earlier, recalling the incident after winning a bravery award

why the school district will no longer require students to - A recently disclosed May email corrupt Ukrainian hand in work on time, will no2014 longer givebyan average grade energy company Burisma board adviser Vadym Pozharskyi for the year, and will not take attendance into account for to Hunter Biden, who was paid $50,000 per month to advise grading purposes the company and who claims that his role had nothing to do with peddling access to his father

I think he was quite shocked. He wasn’t expecting that. I bet he thought, “She’s getting on a bit.”

Donald Trumpthank threatens theinviting existence Dear Hunter, you for meof to human of allanlife on this planet. DC andlife, giving opportunity to meet your - father Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), while campaigning for Joe and spent [sic] some time together. Biden It’s realty [sic] an honor and pleasure.

- Ibid.

I think for Putin, why he’s using this chemical weapon is to both kill me and, - Another recently disclosed email, showing that Pozharskyi you know, terrify others. It’s something met Joe Biden, even though Joe Biden has repeatedly really scary, where the people just drop The same peoplewith who denied ever meeting him said the fake Steele dead without… There are no guns. There Dossier was real are now saying the real are no shots, and in a couple of hours, I lovelaptop all of you. ButInteresting I don’t receive Biden is fake. howany that Can someone explain why it appears a Lincoln statue was toppled you’ll be dead and without any traces on respect in but that’s fine, I guess— works for works. Portland? Asking for a friend. your body. something terrifying. Today Yorkthe Times ran It’s anWhat opedhe about the He has the notNew dodged question. has saidMillion isAnd he’s Man not going apparently. I hope doLennon what - you Rep. Jim Jordan - Tweet (D-OH) by Sean Lennon,you son ofall the can late John Putin is enjoying it. March andthe Louis Farrakhan. you read and knew nothing to answer question, and IfI think thatthe thatoped is a difference.

I did and pay for everything for this entire - Alexey Navalny, leader of the opposition in Russia who Farrakhan, you wouldsurvived think was aattempt gentleman…. -about Biden campaign National Co-Chair Rep. Cedric Richmond (D-LA) onFarrakhan: recently an he assassination byarguing poisoning, onCNN that Joe The Pyramids of Giza were made under coercion from evil family [for] 30 years. It’s really hard. But Biden is not avoiding answering whether or not he plans on adding more seats the U.S. “60 Minutes” “I think Hillary Rodham Clinton is a part of, if you trace hertolineage, Pharaohs who were not very woke. I think we can all agree Supreme Courtthe if elected don’t worry. Unlike Pop, I won’t make you she go right back to the Rothschilds. Her daughter is about to marry Pyramids should be torn down immediately. give me- half your salary. Ibid. a Jewish young man. Dr. This is no accident.”…. There Tony Fauci says we don’t alloware himhundreds to –Text message sent by Hunter Biden to a family member, more like this. When The Times ran anti-Semitic do television, andthe yet infamous I saw him last night disclosed by Rudy Giuliani who reviewed Hunter’s hard drive on @60Minutes, and he seems to get more which was left at a Delaware computer repair shop I grew up receiving plenty lickings and I’m doingcartoon, real goodthe rightissue was not that editors were hardened anti-Semites. airtime than anybody since the late, great, thatI’mthey now. So don’t come to judge me and judge my It’s family. sick didn’t of it. even *notice* it. This shouldn’t surprise. It’s part Bob Hope. All I ask of Tony is that he make It is disrespectful. of a worldview in which Jew hate does not count. better decisions. He said “no masks & let There are threeAssemblywoman reasons I’m going to vote - Brooklyn Diana Richardson in a Facebook rant-after a media outlet by called Series of tweets Bari Weiss, who recently quit writing for the New York Times because of China in.” Also, Bad arm! her out for beating her teenage child with a broomstick for Donald Trump in 2020 when I didn’t its hypocrisy and condoning hatred of all things not woke - Tweet by Pres. Trump four years ago. First, I was simply wrong I’m Caribbean! We discipline our children. [People] who have become white should not be lecturing Black about Donald Trump on policy. Second, I - Ibid. people about oppression. wasn’t really wrong about Donald Trump - Tweet by the New York Times writer responding to criticism of her article, arguing that Jews on character, but whatever damage he are now considered “white” because of success was going to do, he’s already done, and it’s not going to help if I don’t vote for him this time. And third, most importantly, the Abraham Lincoln Democrats have lost their…minds. Franklin Roosevelt - Ben Shapiro, explaining why he is voting for Pres. Trump in 2020

I did have a glass of wine. I will tell you that I needed that at the end of the day. - Judge Amy Coney Barrett, when a senator commented to her on the second day of her confirmation hearing that he hoped she rested up after the first day of hearings

Theodore Roosevelt Thomas Jefferson Paul Revere George Washington Several of the 44 names on San Francisco schools that the San Francisco school Names Advisory Committee is considering changing because the names are “offensive” or “racist”


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Emotional Health The Week In News

OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

Is This Relationship Healthy? Ten Signs of Emotionally Healthy Relationships Rabbi Dov Heller, LMFT

Many people don’t understand what an emotionally healthy or mature romantic relationship looks like. As a result, they get into unhealthy relationships, asking themselves, “Why are we having so many problems?” There is no question that the key to long-term relationship success depends on how healthy the relationship is emotionally. My hope is that the following ten points will serve as a check list to help you create a healthy and mature emotional relationship. If you are presently in a relationship, evaluate each of the ten points on a scale from 1 to 10. 1. They keep things positive. Emotionally mature couples maintain what relationship expert Dr. Jon Gottman calls “consistent positive override”— meaning that the emotional color of their

relationship is mostly positive. Emotionally mature couples constantly monitor the emotional quality of their relationship, and if they go into a negative place, they have the skills to deal with what’s going on and get back to a positive place. They never stay in a negative emotional place very long and are certainly back on track within 24 hours. 2. They have complete trust in each other. Emotionally mature couples trust each other completely. There is no doubt in either person’s mind that the other person can be trusted in every way and can be relied upon. They trust each other with their feelings, needs, money, safety, possessions, boundaries with others, and judgment. Each knows the other person

has his back. 3. They are open, honest, and vulnerable with each other. Emotionally mature couples are not afraid to share how they feel with and about each other. They feel safe and are not afraid of being shamed, rejected, or emotionally punished for expressing themselves. As a result of being emotionally open, they experience closeness and a high level of intimacy. 4. They provide a relational home for each other’s feelings. Emotionally healthy couples feel safe with each other because they provide what we call a “relational home” for each other’s feelings and perceptions. They are especially skilled at listening to each other without being reactive or interrupting each other. They are able to give each other a complete hearing. As a result, their disagreements never escalate into ugly fights, never turn spouses into bitter enemies. 5. They are assertive. Emotionally healthy couples communicate in an assertive manner. They are direct and clear in letting each other know what they need because they are not ashamed of their needs. They therefore avoid getting into passive-aggressive communication patterns. 6. They are emotionally responsible. Emotionally mature people take full ownership and responsibility for their feelings and don’t blame others for “causing” them to feel a certain way. They can tolerate intense and uncomfortable emotional states and don’t dismiss, numb, or lie to themselves about how they feel. Instead of being afraid of their feelings, they are curious about them and process them in order to learn and grow from them. Living an emotionally responsible life helps them to feel good about themselves which creates positive energy between them. 7. They are good problem solvers. Emotionally healthy couples solve the problems they can and accept the ones they can’t. They are able to consistently reach win-win solutions because they understand the importance of being collaborative as opposed to being adversarial. They also know the signs of escalation and know when to call a time-out so as not to escalate, returning to the conversation at another time when they are both calmer. As a result, they maintain a constant state

of peace. 8. They build each other up. Emotionally healthy couples are guardians of each other’s self-esteem. They look for ways to encourage each other to become the best person he or she can be. They identify each other with their virtues while accepting their faults. They are not threatened by each other’s successes and take pleasure in each other’s accomplishments. They avoid talking in a disrespectful way to each other and don’t curse at each other, threaten, or shame each other. They are especially careful to talk positively about each other in social settings, never putting the other down or making “well-meaning” jokes about each other. They are very careful not to push each other’s buttons. 9. They laugh, have fun, and are playful. Having a good sense of humor is sign of emotional maturity. While emotionally healthy couples, are serious about life and taking care of life’s responsibilities, they know how to chill, relax, and have a good time with each other. They know laughter is life’s best medicine because humor creates perspective and perspective makes life flow more smoothly. When things get tense, they know how to use humor to lighten the stress rather than becoming overwhelmed and depressed. 10. They are committed to personal growth and character refinement. Emotionally healthy couples are always trying to become better people. There is a well-known Jewish principle which says, If you’re not moving up you’re going down. There is no such thing as status quo in human nature. Therefore, each person is committed to becoming the best version of themselves by working to refine their character. They understand that the most important of all character traits is kindness. As a result of their commitment to self-improvement, they are consistently upgrading themselves, giving each other the gift of a better version of themselves which results in greater respect, admiration, and love. Rabbi Dov Heller is in private practice offering psychotherapy and personal mentoring for individuals and couples. He can be contacted at Dov@ClarityTalk.com. You may also visit his website at www.ClarityTalk.com


OCTOBER 22, 2020 | The Jewish Home

The Week In News

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