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JANUARY 13, 2022 | The Jewish Home
Contents Letters to the Editor
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COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll Community Happenings
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NEWS
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Global
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National
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That’s Odd
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ISRAEL Israel News
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Bypassing the Bypass by Rafi Sackville
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Defending Israel on the World Stage: TJH Speaks with Arsen Ostrovsky
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JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Wein on the Parsha
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A Sorry Substitute by Rav Moshe Weinberger
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Delving into the Daf by Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow
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Fruits From Heaven by Rabbi Daniel Glatstein
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PEOPLE The Wandering Jew
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Monumental Bayonet Charges by Avi Heiligman
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HEALTH & FITNESS Who Should Repair Hurt Feelings? by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn Nutrition and Aging by Aliza Beer, MS RD
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FOOD & LEISURE The Aussie Gourmet: Simanim Salad 102 LIFESTYLES Teen Talk
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Dating Dialogue, Moderated by 94 Jennifer Mann, LCSW Parenting Pearls
Or, if that can’t be done, my only thought is that Dena should “let it go.” Yes, this is very hard to do – even impossible, in a way. But Dena sounds like such a good person. Would she want this hanging over the young couple’s head as they embark on a new journey together? So the onus now is on Dena. Either she can have someone approach the family or she can work on herself on letting go of her frustration and disappointment. This strategy works so well in many other areas in life. There are times when we feel hurt or slighted or disappointed. If we can rectify the situation or fix it in some way, that’s wonderful. But many times, we don’t have that control. And so, we need to focus on the one thing we can control: our feelings and our reaction to the situation. We can let that person’s snide remark slide off our back; we can forget about the invitation that we never received to that neighbor’s wedding; we can ignore the hurtful comment that our coworker just made. In this way, we can live more peaceful, happy lives, feeling more in control of our feelings and our energy. Sincerely, Golda Rabinowitz Dear Editor, I’m so happy that your dating column last week featured a question about shadchanus. As an “amateur” Continued on page 10
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Your Money
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Something Not to Fight About by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS
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HUMOR Centerfold 70 POLITICAL CROSSFIRE Notable Quotes
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Last Jan. 6, Our Institutions Held by Marc A. Thiessen
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If Putin Invades, the West Wants it to Hurt by David Ignatius
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CLASSIFIEDS
Dear Editor, This letter is to “Dena,” the person who wrote into the dating column about shadchanus money. I know that Dena came into shidduchim to help people. She sounds like someone who is concerned about the issues of singles in the community and wanted to help bring people together. And I loved how she was so involved in helping the couple and pushing them towards more dates. But after date #4, they decided to use someone else as a mediator. That must have hurt. Here, Dena spent so much time and effort. She worked it, and she felt like she wasn’t appreciated. Even more than that, she felt like she was used, as she was only given a paltry sum after the couple got engaged. Halachically, the panelists wrote that Dena should have gotten shadchanus. Perhaps a family rav can help to rectify that situation. But I am more concerned with Dena’s hurt feelings when it comes to this. This young couple would certainly never want to enter into a marriage knowing that they caused someone involved pain. That is certainly not a good way to build a foundation of a beautiful home. So here’s my suggestion: Either Dena can have someone approach the couple (or their parents) and explain the situation to them. This way, they can rectify the wrong – pay her shadchanus along with a nice card thanking her for her time – and make sure Dena does not feel slighted.
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Does your family own a snow blower?
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Yes
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No