A Guide to Personal Resilience

too must eat, sleep (do brand new parents ever get enough sleep?), work, take care of our homes and other children, and play (or relax!), although in the very earliest months it can seem quite a challenge, if not impossible, to fit everything in.

Usually by around 6 months of age, things settle down somewhat, but our babies continue to be completely dependent on us to provide for all aspects of their physical and emotional care. Our babies grow increasingly interactive with us and the world around them. They still do not have any understanding of the difference between a ‘need’ and a ‘want’ -- everything is still experienced as a ‘need’ – although clearly we can see them learning and responding to different behaviours of ours.

We also come to learn what our babies like and don’t like, and ideally, we are able to play with them and tend to their needs in ways that mostly bring them comfort and enjoyment. Again, we see individual differences very early: some babies like to sleep on their sides, some on their stomachs; some babies like to be carried facing into our shoulders, others prefer to be held more in a rocking position; some like the motions of a baby swing, others prefer more stationary positions; and I could go on and on.

Throughout the first year, we learn vast amounts about who our children are. In recognizing and respecting the uniqueness of each of our children, and responding to this as best we can, we convey to our children that they are important and valued little people. By taking pleasure in each of their accomplishments along the way, we convey to them that they are capable. By doing our best to respond to their physical and emotional states and needs, we provide them with a sense of security and certainty about their lovability and their importance in our lives.

In the latter part of the first year and throughout the second year of their lives, we watch with amazement, the incredibly fast pace of development as our children become more and more mobile, and more and more vocal. Now, we must be ever watchful to ensure that they can explore the world safely. We establish rules and boundaries about where they may safely go, and what they may safely do. We also begin to teach our children the meaning of yes and no. As developing little people, they don’t just automatically know what is OK and what is not OK. Throughout the years of our parenting, we are both students and teachers of our children’s development. In these early years, our children rely on us completely to provide them with a sense of physical and emotional safety. While we encourage our