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ZING!

C R E A T E D

B Y

J E N N Y

X

L I N

a guide to condoms


Copyrighted © 2012 by Jenny X Lin Copyrighted © 2012 by Zing! Condoms All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without the prior permission of the publisher. Published in the United States.


This book is brought to you by Zing! We will introduce you to our condoms and teach you the basics and functions. Special thanks to: Jennifer McKnight and the UMSL Graphic Design 4 class for guidance. James Morris for manuscript editing.


ZING! ZING!

a guide to condoms


spontaneously

STUDDED


Rough and pleasant.


ribbed

SENSATION


36 rows of ribs. She can feel magical too.


ZING! ZING!

a guide to condoms TABLE OF CONTENTS 2–3

Condoms: What are they?

4–9

Condom Sizes and Lengths.

10–13

How to put on a condom.

14–17

Why Use a Condom?


Tasty Condoms.

18–21

Did You Know?

22–27

Other Uses and Activities.

28–35

ZING!

36–37


ZING! ZING! C R E A T E D

B Y

J E N N Y

X

a guide to condoms

L I N

1


Condoms:

what are they ?

condom diagram

When a male and female decide to have sex, usually the male puts a condom over his erected ding-a-ling to reduce the chance of producing a newborn or spreading sexually transmitted diseases (such as HIV).

2


Condoms can be found in most stores, from supermarkets to gas stations. They are sold in l i t t le packages. To the right, on this page, are four different Zing! condom packages.

ng! zing! z ing zing! zin

ng!! zing! ng z ing ing! g zi ng! g! zin in

ng! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng! zing zing! zing zing! zing! ing! zinn

ng ! zin g! g! zin in g zi ng ! zi zin

ng ! zin g! zin in g zi ng ! zin

ng ! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng ! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng ! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng ! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng ! zing! zing! zing! zin

ng ! zing! zing! zing! zin

Zing! ng ! zing! zing! zing! zin condom zin g zing! ing! zing! n zin packages ng ! zing!

*

ng ! zing! zing! zing! zin ng ! zing! zin g zing! ing! zing! n zin

OPEN THEM CAREFULLY! Make sure you tear carefully along the edge of the package to avoid tearing the condom.

3


CONDOM sizes and lengths 4


THE RIGHT SIZE Figuring out the condom size that fits you best is pertinent. There isn’t anything scarier than a condom too tight or too loose. Loose condoms can slip off your ding-a-ling, and tight condoms can break!

size chart

5


“I use the extra large!”

“I get the large!”

“Extra large as well.”

“Regular for me!”

6


Don’t be embarassed about your size!

7


Sizes

Length of condom

Snug    7 to 7.8 inches

< 2 inches

Standard    7.25 to 7.8 inches

2 to 2.12

Large (& larger)    8.1 inches & larger

> 2.12

SIZES AND LENGTHS There are generally three condom sizes: snugger, standard, and large. There are also larger sizes for those who exceed the average size. Before you take a ruler and measure, make sure your ding-a-ling is fully erected.

8

Condom width


THE PERFECT FIT! Using the wrong condom size can cause problems. It does not matter how small or big your ding-a-ling is, because there are always condoms made just for you!

* LUBE MAKES IT EASIER.

If you are not sure if the condom fits, rub a bit of lube on your ding-a-ling and slip on the condom. *Do not try to force it in.

lube

This will

mak

e eve

rything

so muc

h easi

er...

9


how to put on a

CONDOM 10


DEMONSTRATION Putting on a condom is as easy as sweeping the floor. Brooms are phallus-shaped and make for an excellent demonstration.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nice and long!

11


LEAVE SOME ROOM AT THE TIP! Your ding-a-ling will need some breathing room. Also, gentlemen, when you get really excited, you are going to need more room for some love-nectar.

12


ROLL IT ALL THE WAY UP TO AVOID ANY SPILLS!

13


REASONS

to use a condom

14


1. DISEASES Condoms reduce the probability of spreading diseases such as: HIV, AIDS, gonorrhea, and many more. Wear a condom to protect your ding-a-ling and your life.

Condom do not provide 100 percent protection!

15


z

z

2. RUGRATS

Another reason to use a condom is to lower the chances of pregnancy. Protect your family heirlooms...

16


...and your expensive curtains.

17


TASTYcondoms 18


choc

olate

assorted flavors

ASK YOUR PARTNER! Yummy!

Yes, there are different condom flavors. This adds excitement when you and your partner are having oral sex. Before you decide to go out and buy a non-flavored condom, find out what your partnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite taste is!

19


most popular

ZINGY FLAVORS strawberry penguin

monkey banana

20

bunniest carrot

chocolate panda-ness

tigerific cotton candy

Strawberry, banana, carrot (my partnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite), chocolate, regular cotton candy, and blue cotton candy.

ate

col

cho

lamb-ful blue cotton candy


There are many other flavors to try out too! Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget to ask your partner for suggestions. Have fun!

*

DO NOT EAT CONDOMS. Our artificially flavored condoms are not edible. Most are made of latex. If you attempt to eat it, there is a possibility of choking to death.

21


Did you

KNOW? Hmm...

22


DID YOU KNOW? Here are 10 interesting facts about condoms that you probably did not know. Enjoy!

A regular condom can hold about 4 quarts or 1 gallon of liquid.

1 gallon of

MILK

}

1

1 QT. juice orange of

2

Condoms are primarily bought by women. Worldwide, about 40% â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 70% of condoms are purchased by women.

23


3

The shelf-life of a condom can range from 2 to 5 years from the time they were manufactured.

4

The worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest surviving condom was from found in Sweden. This antique was made of pigâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intestine in 1640.

Never use an expired condom.

24


Ew.

5

Originally, condoms were made from animal intestines In the modern age, approximately 90% of condoms are made from latex. The rest are still made from animals.

6

American soldiers previously used condoms to protect rifle barrels from clogging.

25


7

Always keep them in a cool and dry location. Condoms can tear up during intercourse, if they were previously exposed to sunlight or heat.

8

26

Using two or more condoms at the same time is more dangerous than using one. The friction between the two can cause tearing and ripping.


Y

OI L

lotio n ER

SUP

9

Oils and lotions will cause latex to breakdown. So it is better to use water or silicone based lubricants when using latex condoms.

10

The worst place to store your condoms is in your back pocket; a shirt pocket or protective case is better.

Lotion should never be near a condom.

27


Other uses and

ACTIVITIES 28


1. PARTY BALLOONS

Condoms can be wonderful balloons! They are strong, long and corky-shaped little toys — best to bring a smile on your child’s face at his or her birthday party. For an even better time, fill the condoms up with helium to make them float. Who wouldn’t want one? *For colored party balloons, use spray paint!

29


2. FOOD PROTECTOR

Sanitation is a major factor when you are running a restaurant; it is important to keep food and drinks hair-free. A condom fits nice and comfortably over your head.

30


3. SNACK PACK

Waiting in long lines can be aggrevatingâ&#x20AC;Śespecially when you are hungry! Condoms are very flexible. To fit more goodies, such as candy or peanuts, stretch it a little bit. You can have enough to share with someone waiting next to you. Before going to the theatre or a doctorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appointment, pack your treats!

tickets

featured films Nam quiae la consedit rent arum, cusa voluptasRatesto volenis plant unt landit exped minctoGendis

molor aut aut utemolu Nam quiae la consedit rent arum, cusa voluptasRatesto volenis plant unt landit exped

minctoGendis molor aut aut utemolu Nam quiae la consedit rent arum, cusa voluptasRatesto volenis plant unt

31


4. HOLIDAY DECORATIONS Why not? Condoms are absolutely adorable and decorative for special occasions. They look beautiful when surrounded by vivid lights. They are waterproof and durable, so you don’t have to worry about them getting damaged easily. Who wouldn’t want a room full of condoms hanging around? Be creative!

32


Condoms make great stockings. Make sure they arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t too close to the fire!

33


5. ICE POP MAKER

Fill up a condom with your favorite fruit juice and wrap a rubber band around the opening, along with a popsicle stick. Make sure that the stick is nice and long, with half of it poking out. It is really important to ensure that the rubber band is tight enough. Enjoy your tasty treat!

Not for those who are allergic to latex!

34


BE CREATIVE! Unlimited possibilities; unlimited fun.

35


ZING! ZING!

condoms beyond condoms

36


ZING! The condom brand, Zing! started out as a small business in Saint Louis, Missouri. In April of 2012, Zing! made its way into the condom market and gradually began to increase in sales. It is majorly marketed in United States, Canada, Japan, China, the United Kingdom, Germany, and Switzerland. Zing! will continue to expand in sales all across the globe. How do Zing! condoms differ from other condom brands? Zing! condoms are created especially for those who are extremely spontaneous and love to have fun for a longer and better time in bed. Our condoms are much more durable yet thinner (than other brands), and they are pre-lubed with our special lubrication â&#x20AC;&#x201D; so you can last longer and feel comfortable! They come in assorted flavors and types, and once or twice per year, Zing! will release something new. Join the Zing! community today!

37


glow-in-the-dark

CONDOMS


Adds extra ZING in the dark!


special twisted

PLEASURE


For twisted fun.


Production This book was created and design by Jenny X Lin under the supervision of Jennifer McKnight in Graphic Design 4 during the spring semester of 2012.


Zing! A Guide to Condoms  

This book is brought to you by Zing! We will introduce you to our condoms and teach you the basics and functions.

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